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Not Kathy Griffin

Well, folks, SOMEBODY in the GA-06 special congressional race seems worried, and that SOMEBODY is noted dickhead wingnut Karen Handel, the anti-choice zealot who lost her job at Susan G. Komen For The Cure because she wanted to strip money from Planned Parenthood that pays for BREAST CANCER SCREENINGS. She has principles, you see, and she wasn’t going to let dirty abortionists trying to fight breast cancer get in the way of her important job, which was fighting breast cancer. She’s a real champ, that one.

Handel is running neck-and-neck with sweet fresh-faced Democrat Jon Ossoff, or if a recent SurveyUSA poll is to be believed, he’s seven points AHEAD of her, in this traditionally very red district, which used to be represented by asshole wingnut Health and Human Services (HHS) Secretary Tom Price. So it’s time to bring in the big guns, especially since the election is just a few weeks away on June 20. Unfortunately for Handel, her “big guns” are an attack ad from a Republican super PAC called the Congressional Leadership Fund, which reveals that Jon Ossoff is just a common Kathy Griffin who cuts the president’s head off and takes pictures of it. The horrors!

Actually the ad is fucking hilarious. Here is the video and text (and also some snotty annotations from yours truly), so you can get scared of the LIBERAL EXTREMIST KATHY GRIFFINS and change your mind about voting for Mister Sexxxy Buns Jon Ossoff:

Liberal extremists have gone TOO FAR! [Pictures of ladies at Women’s March in DC, we think, burning the whole place down, which happened.] Smashing windows! Burning cars! Dividing America! [Picture of Michael Moore talking.]

Now a celebrity Jon Ossoff supporter is making jokes about BEHEADING the President of the United States! [Menacing pictures of Kathy Griffin doing her photo shoot, menacingly.]

IT’S NOT FUNNY. [More marching pictures, with the text “THEY WANT OSSOFF.”]

These ANGRY LIBERALS will go to ANY EXTREME to elect Jon Ossoff! [Like smashing windows or burning cars or Kathy Griffin-ing or even VOTING, which Karen Handel DOES NOT LIKE.]

There’s a reason why 95% of Ossoff’s campaign donors are out of state liberals! [Picture of SCARY Nancy Pelosi poster on GAY SAN FRANCISCO BRIDGE where people with SAN FRANCISCO VALUES drive back and forth from SAN FRANCISCO to BECOME GAY.]

HE’S ONE OF THEM! [One more picture of Kathy Griffin, just in case you missed it.]

Whew! Thank goodness we have all seen this campaign ad, and have learned that Jon Ossoff is a TRUMP-MURDERING SHE-WITCH who used to play Vicki on “Suddenly Susan,” whereas Karen Handel is a nice innocent lady who will stand up for your right to die from breast cancer while protesting an abortion clinic.

Response from the Ossoff campaign:

“Karen Handel should immediately demand this ad be pulled before any more children have to see these disturbing images on TV.”

Oh shit. We think he might win, you guys. Why don’t you go put some money in his sexxxy campaign war chest, to help him across the finish line!

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[Washington Post]

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  • Msgr_MΩment

    NEEDS MOAR GEORGE SOROS LIBEL!!

  • MynameisBlarney
    • snark-lurker

      Donut lose your head now!

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Now a celebrity Jon Ossoff supporter is making jokes about BEHEADING the President of the United States!

    Of course, because unless every single person who has ever done anything wrong* must immediately be disavowed by Jon Ossoff or he is responsible for them.

    But Greg Abbott “joking” about shooting reporters? “It was a joke! Geez, you libtards are too damn sensitive!”

    * This statement does not imply that I believe Kathy Griffin did anything wrong

    • jesterpunk

      That doesnt count, that was about reporters. They cant let anyone upset little Don’s feelings. Threatening reporters is just frozen peaches and anti PC culture.

    • He didn’t use a visual aid, so it’s too abstract for wingnuts.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    I would love to chant USA USA USA!

    But we are a little bit too busy making our dykes higher while discussing making much money with the Chinese on renewable energy and saving the world.

    http://edition.cnn.com/2017/06/01/politics/trump-paris-climate-decision/index.html

  • ichthyopteryx

    We can only hope that he can prevail against his opponent, Mindsoff.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Weird how out-of-state big campaign donors is an issue for Rethugs all of a sudden. Koch Bros are gonna be sad about that.

    • Treg Brown ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      Speaking of, the fucking mormons can suck my dick for all their out of state interference with Ca prop 8 (Marriage equality) several years ago.

      *obviously I’m looking for someone to be mad at today*

      • Yr. Gma

        Any Mormon in particular you’d prefer, Treg?

        • Treg Brown ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

          lol. No ma’am. I got a little carried away.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            I just want to note for the record that I was raised in the Mormon church. In case that’s, you know, in any way relevant to this discussion.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        It’s the magic underwear, isn’t it?

  • Skwerl the Impeachanator!
    • Based on a True Photograph

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I would love to gay Jewish marry. And I sent him money! Where do I send my contact information?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    You want to go down this road, wingnuts? OK–we can intersperse images of murdered parishioners at the Charleston church with your candidates then. Maybe we mix up images of people in Real America mourning the loss of their loved ones on the battlefield with champagne popsicles from Ivanka Trump. It’s on, bitches!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3cb315b27dd6821ace2c7d489eb9e7987463e96234c9fa7b7155a24c22925b29.png

    • OrdinaryJoe

      The problem is the White Right Wing wants the lies, they eat the lies whole, they lies are their life. Everybody else is trying to find, if not absolute truth, some honest information to help them try and lead a decent life. So there is no market for the lies outside of the White Right. Hard truth has given way to puffed up false information.

  • The Wanderer

    (wakes up from nap)
    (reads Wonkette)
    (goes back to bed)

    • snark-lurker

      What is that buzzing noise?

      • The Wanderer

        Hm? Oh, nothing, nothing at all.

        (uses a toe to slide piece of industrial machinery back under bed)

  • h4rr4r

    Get the kids to vote.
    Medicare for all, Legal weed, whatever it takes.

  • timpundit

    needs moar Willie Horton.

  • Treg Brown ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    Needs moar email servers. And maybe some gheys in a bathroom washing their hands?

    • calliecallie

      Transgenders also too.

  • ltmcdies

    OT…well kids, I guess you’re out…the Orange Man has paid his debt to the oil men in his cabinet

    https://twitter.com/CTVNews/status/870364767139004416

    • Treg Brown ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      Serious question. Is this something we can recover from when adults take over running the country?

      • Pisto75666

        Serious question #2: Will we still have a country left, when the adults take over?

        • georgiaburning

          Maybe not “a” country, maybe several

          • Pisto75666

            Ooh I’d be for that. If we could make Colin Firth the leader of one of them.

        • Treg Brown ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

          I think yes. This is a horrible time, especially for poorer people, LBGTQ folks, women, racial minorities (still!) but soon it will also be the middle class, and white bitchy seniors and the medical care that will have to be provided by middle-upper middle class families with medicaid gone. Then all hell breaks loose.

          • Pisto75666

            Can we afford to wait that long, though?

          • Treg Brown ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

            Honestly probably not, but I live in alternate reality of modest hope so I can get myself out of bed in the morning :- )

          • Pisto75666

            Same. I’m not a fan of drinking so, that’s out. So, push forward is the only option.

          • Treg Brown ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

            Thanks. Always good to know your struggles are other peoples.

          • Pisto75666

            I just meant to say I don’t drink. I could’ve probably worded that better. Honest apologies if I said anything wrong.

          • Treg Brown ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

            No apologies needed. I took it well intended and wasn’t offended at all. I’m glad you feel the same as I do. It’s comforting, especially when I’m at the bottom of the hope bottle :- )

          • Pisto75666

            *hugs* we’re all in this together.

          • Treg Brown ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

            *hug*

          • Individual wes no. Collective we, hell man, we’ve survived virulent plagues, centuries of war, atomic blasts, and Carrot Top.
            This too shall pass

          • Pisto75666

            Collective we, hell man, we’ve survived virulent plagues, centuries of war, atomic blasts, and Carrot Top.

            Not to mention SEVEN Fast & Furious movies.

          • Serai 1

            Don’t get me started on that mountain of Marvel mush we have to dig our way out of every fucking summer.

          • Pisto75666

            I’m not a huge Marvel fan. I liked the Iron Man movies, and Captain America. At this point there’s just so many it’s hard to keep up. And hey, that nice (and criminally pretty) Hemsworth boy has to make money SOMEHOW.

          • Bobathonic

            Sadly, I believe we are at 8.

          • Pisto75666

            I thought as much as I was commenting but was too lazy to Google. Damn it, I had such hopes!

          • therblig

            things will be sorted out before the Quarter Quell

      • ltmcdies

        well…it sounds like a number of large American businesses, cities and states are not happy. Nothing to stop California, for example, for following the guidelines of the Agreement even if they can’t sign it

        • Yr. Gma

          Our alternative energy businesses are going great guns.

          • calliecallie

            And our gun businesses are going great with alternative facts.

          • therblig

            can’t we just shoot global warming?

          • calliecallie

            They shoot polar bears, don’t they?

          • PubOption

            “But Solyndra went bankrupt, so alternative energy can’t be a viable business.” – Wingnuts everywhere.

          • True. Best invest all our money into a company with a stable, fossil-fuel business model, like Enron.

      • TJ Barke

        No. We’re basically fucked even if we stay in. The time to take serious action was like 30 years ago.

      • therblig

        my understanding is that the earliest we can pull out is 2019 and there are other aspects that require senate approval to pull out of.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Sounds like what Junckers (sp?) was just saying.

      • Serai 1

        I hope so. I’m hoping very hard that the leaders of the free world understand how much the American people do NOT agree with this baboon’s shitting on the rest of the world.

    • Yr. Gma

      I am shocked, etc. etc.

    • Vincent Ricola

      He just said he’s doing this so no other countries can laugh at us anymore. He’s the president of Pittsburgh, not Paris. UGGGHHHHHH.

      • ltmcdies

        oh come on…we’ll still laugh

      • Msgr_MΩment

        You’re not the boss of Sidney Crosby, Bub.

      • Yr. Gma

        Donnie, Donnie, Donnie, this will make them laugh more.

      • Serai 1

        Holy shit, does he REALLY believe this is going to stop people laughing at us????

        • Vincent Ricola

          Seriously. That crybaby line really makes it look like this whole thing is some kind of childish payback for that Macron handshake, which isn’t the way to stop anyone from laughing.

        • Bobathonic

          Does he really believe ANYTHING? He says what he thinks works best in the moment, and fuck reality. We’ve been exposed to way plenty of his dishonest schtick. He always lies.

      • But most other countries are in it….

      • Lascauxcaveman

        “Hey, Mr President. Fuck you.”

        – Pittsburgh

        • H0mer0

          Was that supposed to be spoken or sung with the same meter as for that “Officer Krupke” song?

      • Keith Taylor

        UGGGHH is right. City mayors all across the U.S.A. are furious with him and saying “No!” Even our stuffed shirt of an Australian PM thinks it’s an extremely bad move. We’re not laughing at the U.S., either, but if we were, or had been, it’d be BECAUSE Donald Trump occupies the Oval Office. We’d be laughing at HIM, not his country, if the situation wasn’t so serious. Crossed fingers — you will have a President again who has dignity and a functioning mind and maybe even a principle or two. And he won’t be Mike Pence … let’s all hope.

    • Canis the Grey

      Bundled with a pack of lies about the supposed economic costs of sticking to the Paris Accord, of course. Such a fucking piece of shit.

    • Lori

      So how long until other countries hit us with sanctions?

      • Vincent Ricola

        5-10 minutes after he finally shuts up with his stupid speech?

    • Serai 1

      Fucking bastard. I just hope – futilely, I’m sure – that we can rejoin once this fucking ape and his goddamn dragoon of cockroaches are out.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “Jon Ossoff has refused to denounce his supporter Kathy Griffin for over 48 hours after posting distributing images of her and President Trump. His silence speaks volumes,” explained Corry Bliss, CLF’s executive director. “To disagree with a president, or any elected official, on issues or beliefs is normal and often even celebrated in our democracy, but the actions coming from extreme liberals like Kathy Griffin have absolutely no place in civil discourse.”

    But Ossoff had not been asked any questions about Griffin, said Ossoff spokeswoman Sacha Haworth. TMZ published the photo on Tuesday at 1:53 p.m. Eastern. Six hours later, Griffin released a short video apologizing for the photo and promising to scrap any future use of it.

    Looks like Evan was right yesterday: there is no such thing as appeasing the wingnuts when they want to get their rage on FFS.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Call me when Kathy destroys basic human rights for millions and robs everyone blind. Jimmy Kimmel said babies shouldn’t die from a lack of healthcare, and received much the same reaction as Kathy. Wingnuts don’t care if the thing the liberal said or did is right or wrong. They just care that a liberal said or did it.

    • Serai 1

      That’s why I think it’s shameful how many liberal people went after her as well. It’s not as if the wingnuts would stop shrieking if liberal artists stopped making liberal art. They’d just shriek about something else. It’s never-ending, and forcing artists to censor themselves will NOT accomplish anything other than weakening us and empowering the lunatics.

  • memzilla Ω

    Straight from the GOP Playbook: when you have no issues to beat the Democrat on, go for The Othering. I suppose Handel’s next ad will be that Ossoff’s 4x-great-grandfather was an octaroon who fought for General Sherman and personally whittled the matches to burn down Altanta.

  • TJ Barke

    Boy, that’s not unhinged at all.
    And boy, god just damn these dirty liberals for their insidious agenda of wanting to build a society that actually benefits and cares for all citizens!

    • MynameisBlarney

      That’s just so unChristian!

  • mikemixer
    • Serai 1

      Tommy Lee Jones is the king of the deadly “you’re a fucking moron” stare.

  • baconzgood

    Why in M. Moore so sinister to these people? He’s a doughy slob with a camera (I like Mike and met him once, that was how he described himself). What did he do that was so evil besides care about having a little sanity in the world?

    • ltmcdies

      he told them they didn’t need all those guns then made a movie about the Iraq War.
      Plus they don’t like many people, really.

      • Serai 1

        It started way before that, with Roger and Me, his first film, where he went about big corporations.

        • Bobathonic

          A case of Original Sin.

      • Skwerl the Impeachanator!

        This. They hated him for the gun thing.

    • Yr. Gma

      He claims his new movie will shut up Donnie. Let’s hope.

      • Bobathonic

        I want to hear Donnie loudly and clearly, for a long time.

        Whining about visiting hours and telephone privileges and the damned jailer is late with the burned meatwad and ketchup and he wants his lawyer dammit and it’s not his fault, why is he in prison anyway?

        • H0mer0

          I was thinking about some story posted in wonkette non-comments about Drumpf going ballistic when there was only one scoop of strawberry ice cream left. Couldn’t he get any food his heart could desire or did they cut his allowance?(or that was exceptionally good ice cream?)

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Something something Soros.

    • Lori

      He turned an unflattering light CEOs, the US healthcare system, and gun humpers, among other things. The only way he could be worse in their eyes is if he’d done it while giving out coupons for free abortions.

    • Serai 1

      Because he’s almost always right. They hate that.

  • janecita

    I’m so depressed, this moron (Trump)is destroying our country, but there are people out there that still love him! What the Fuck is wrong with Americans?! Btw, Ivanka’s love of the environment isn’t as strong as her love for money! Fuck that whole family!

    • They do not love him. They hate those others that much.
      If Trump tomorrow said he was converting to islam and marrying a black woman, and oh, btw, no more tax breaks for the rich, they would turn on him like whoa. They would ridicule him as an idiot, talk about his mental health, etc etc etc.
      It is not love in their hearts, it is hate.

    • Serai 1

      It’s not Americans, hon. It’s human beings. You’re going to find a certain percentage of shithead bigots in every population. It’s just that here they’ve become empowered to an insane degree.

    • JustDon’tSayCovfefe

      Just remember, Le Pen lost the French election – but 37% (or thereabouts) voted for her.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Pittsburgh tells you to fuck off, Chump!
    /sorry, listening to 45

    EDIT: Quote = “I was elected to represent Pittsburgh, not Paris”
    Dude, Picksburgh is beyond coal. Way beyond. Do your fucking research.

    • Vincent Ricola

      He’s such a dick.

      • ichthyopteryx

        All dick, and no balls.

    • therblig

      shoulda gone with “Paris, Texas not Paris, France”

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Better soundtrack, too.

        • puredog

          Loves me sum Ryland.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Get him to sing my eulogy, please.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Pittsburgh didn’t elect you, dumbass. Hillary Clinton won Allegheny County by 16 points.

  • Skwerl the Impeachanator!
  • Internet Hitler

    Sorry I was on window smashing & arson duty for Soros. What did I miss? You guys didn’t start the gay beheading without me?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Damn. I can never get that gig. Lucky you!

      • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

        You gotta do more for Soros than just smash windows… wink-wink.

    • laughingnome

      I was mooning nuns all weekend and still didn’t get my Soros check.

  • georgiaburning

    We Californians are so evil. Congress should vote to kick us out

    • Msgr_MΩment

      To the briar patch with you, sir!

    • whitroth

      Y’all sure are! Out of the state of mind of a Good German, er, Republican!

    • therblig

      New Jersey here, can we come with you?

      • Bobo the Dork Boy

        Austin here. Likewise. Note I did NOT say “Texas”.

        • Serai 1

          You guys should form your own nation state, like Lesotho.

          • Bobo the Dork Boy

            Indeed. Or maybe youse guys could do a Berlin Airlift thingy for us. I kinda like it here.

          • Serai 1

            Oh, I meant right where you are. Lesotho is the little bitty country that’s completely enveloped by South Africa, like a little island. The Republic of Austin!

        • chortlingdingo

          San Antonio’s pretty blue, too. If we carved out the Austin-San Antonio area, we’d get to keep the rivers, too.

    • Treg Brown ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      Speaking of California, isn’t single-payer or Medicare for all being voted on next week?

      • georgiaburning

        Yup.

  • 99% of her funds are out of state….so…erm….

  • whitroth

    I’m confused. I thought he was running for Congress in Newt’s old district, and that the election was last week….

  • La forza del resistino

    Paris shmarus: Donald just wished us all an early Merry Christmas with a lump of clean coal in your stocking.

    • laughingnome

      It’s all about jerbs.

      • DainBramage

        Yep, all the jerbs other countries will create by developing the next wave of technology.

    • snark-lurker

      Have you ever seen so many pure white faces before?

  • DainBramage

    That ad is so over-the-top stupid, it’s hard to believe that anyone but an Alex Jones fanatic would take it seriously.

    • snark-lurker

      yeahbutt, every single Jones fan votes

      • I wonder…
        Would it be terribly awful if someone, not naming names, started floating a conspiracy that voter registration was a tool of the illuminati to get all your records and keep track of you?

        • snark-lurker

          It IS terrible and they are doing right now!…tracking all your records that is

        • Darlene Underdahl

          They’re keeping track, that’s for sure. I accidently used my debit card instead of the credit card, punched in a zip instead of a code, and everything was fine. I’ll bet that gas pump knew my body temperature and blood pressure.

          • H0mer0

            I am a little paranoid about the watches that track one’s sleep and other activities. What if the watch becomes sentient?

        • Crystalclear12

          I heard on your next voter registration you have to tell them where you keep your guns!!!

  • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

    Well, at least they aren’t claiming he has a love child with the help… a blah woman. Well, not yet anyway. Let’s see how desperate these anal fissures get.

  • calliecallie

    Ossoff’s response was flawless. 10/10.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • Oblios_Cap

      Rex doesn’t have a clue. But Donnie thinks he loos Secretary of State-ish.

  • Msgr_MΩment
  • Edith Prickly

    I have to watch the local 24-hour news channel at work. They are stinking up my office right now with Trump’s idiot speech about wiping his butt with the Paris Accord and throwing it back at that little man who crushed his hand twice last week.

    • DainBramage

      That’s a hostile work environment.

    • Canis the Grey

      Oh yes, the Macron thing. I suppose this was inevitable then.

  • janecita

    Scott Pruitt is such an asshole!

    • Vincent Ricola

      This motherfucker is making me twitch rage.

      • janecita

        I’m screaming, at my computer screen, at work!

    • Shibusa

      And in April, NYT reported that Trump asked for 10 additional full-time security staffers to be constant bodyguards for Pruitt. (Meanwhile, Trump’s so-called budget calls for cutting 25% of the EPA staff and 30% of EPA budget.)

      • WotsAllThisThen

        In case reporters try to ask questions

  • janecita

    That’s it, I need some pot and some strong alcohol! Fuck this shit! How can they lie so much?

    • Lots and lots of practice

    • DainBramage

      They hate everybody?

    • Stulexington

      Because it works.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Cause the truth is really bad for their bottom line?

    • Pisto75666

      They’re really, really good at it?

    • TJ Barke

      Well, when you have no scruples or decency or honor or convictions or values or ethics or virtue or concept of fairness or belief in justice…

    • Rasilom

      750ml 100 proof Vodka for this person STAT!!!!!

    • Bobathonic

      Sociopathy

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I feel like this is a trick question…

  • Stulexington

    Can we start accusing them of vile made up things like making clothing out of kittens yet?

  • La forza del resistino

    Paris, I’m embarrassed: Donald pulls out of the Paris accords after being told his chronic pants on fire condition is a factor contributing to global warming.

  • Serai 1

    Christ, what a bunch of whiny snowflakes.

    • Here is what I do not get. This is another stunt, isn’t it? like we can’t really pull out until like 2019 anyway? So it is just yet another stunt and look at me party with a band so he looks like he is doing something?

      • Canis the Grey

        That seems to be the gist of it, unless there’s a secret plan to blow something up before the 3-year waiting period is over.

        Ultimately, I think this only gets him a huge amount of self-inflicted blowback and lost political capital (although he will definitely be surprised when it all starts to bite him in the arse, because he’s the king of idiots.)

        • His end game really does seem to be to sabotage our alliances with Europe.
          Wonder what his Europe First followers think about that

  • MynameisBlarney

    The quote that will forever define teh turmp unpresidency.

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029145179

    • Crystalclear12

      It’s the pointing that hurts.

    • TJ Barke

      Make America a joke again. Too late…

  • calliecallie

    I am so sick of their nonsense that I am starting to come around on the idea that they will fuck their own base up worst of all, so have at it. I don’t want us all to suffer like that, but I wonder sometimes if that is the only way these people will learn anything.
    Forget I said it. They won’t learn anything.
    Okay, I’m back to wanting them not to fuck things up too badly for anyone. Resume your scheduled programming.

    • laineypc

      I don’t know that there is a limit to how far those derpwads can be gaslighted. There will always be a scapegoat that is not them or their derpwad in chief bringing them down.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Kathy Griffin’s not-funny joke is the reason you shouldn’t vote for Jon Ossof ? They really have no argument.

    • TJ Barke

      Yeah, but they’re both liberals and therefore exactly the same!

      • Lyly Sirivong

        Of course. How did I not understand that ? Silly me !

  • janecita

    I can’t do this shit anymore, I’m going home, then go to the Gym for 3 hours.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Nancy Pelosi will be glad that the Republicans are still using her to scare the rubes.

  • Vincent Ricola

    OT – just a reminder that Chris Cillizza is a hack that shouldn’t have a job.

    • Stulexington

      Unrelated but as Canadian I feel I need to once again apologize for Ted Cruz. Nothing that he’s done recently just sorry for being part of the country he came from.

      • Canis the Grey

        That was the most Canadian thing I’ve read all day.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Moar Canadian than Maple Syrup covered Poutine?

          • Rasilom

            Eaten while wearing a toock. Yes more Canadian than that. Dog damn I loves Canada

          • AJ Milne

            I’m sorry, too…

            (Still not taking him back, tho’.)

  • Skwerl the Impeachanator!

    I am surprised there was no Al Sharpton photo used in that commercial. Conservatives get rabid when they see a photo of that man.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Looks like OHJB is throwing his hat in the ring…or whatever that saying is…

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/joe-biden-fundraising-pac-2020-president-run

    • jesterpunk

      I like Biden but he will be 78 in 2020, that is a little old to run for president. But then again he was VP so he does know the stresses of the job.

      • He’s fund raising a PAC and I believe him when he said he had no plans to run himself.
        He has someone in mind though or he would not be fundraising.

        • jowgajen

          A PAC is a sort of minimal requirement of anyone who is in any sort of position to help at this point. He’s just raising money for candidates to make this shit better.

          • idk, for him to go all official like that, he seems to me the type who would have a plan, and that would imply someone in mind.
            I could be overthinking things tho, might just be a general funding thing

        • jesterpunk

          I would be cool with that, he could be vp again or take a cabinet position or something.

      • Shanzgood

        Yabbut how old is Orrin Hatch?

        • jesterpunk

          83 now. But being president ages you 20 years in less then 4.

      • Manders

        I think Joe is mostly a doll, but seeing how poorly Trump is handling the job at his age (and I realize JB is like, a much better human being), I don’t want another ooooold person doing it.

        • Serai 1

          Yeah, because Paul Ryan and Rand Paul are so much better at their jobs owing to their youth.

          Age brings experience, which is invaluable. We need someone who KNOWS THE JOB.

          • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

            Age is fine. But *advanced* age like Biden’s also brings things like dementia, Alzheimers, cancer, and the simple fact that at inauguration, Biden would be as old as the median American male when they die.

          • Serai 1

            Well, I doubt very much that Joe would run if he were diminished enough for it to be serious – I can’t see him deliberately endangering the work that way. But I think we need someone who’s very familiar with the workings of the job, because what these assclowns are going to leave behind them won’t have a lot of room for a big learning curve. Whoever it is will have to hit the ground running. *sigh* To think that’s exactly what we could have had…

  • timpundit

    Not getting my hopes up, not predicting anything, that part of my life died painfuilly last November.

    I haven’t given up hope, but I have given up trusting pundits (Ha!) predictions.

    It is what it is.

    • Persistent Demme

      I hear you.

      Happy nice time!
      My old town, Palo Alto, CA just issued a statement saying they would uphold the Paris agreement.
      So take heart, that’s something hopeful!

      • States rights.
        Time for the blue states to start asserting those.
        And top among them, none of Blue state tax money should be used in red states.
        Let us see how long this shit lasts.

        • Persistent Demme

          Ha, ha, ha!
          So many Trump-states would shrivel up and die without the likes of CA and NY!

          • Perzactly. At first they will be all for it! Yeah our tax money stays here, yeah!
            And then……

          • Shanzgood

            Break that down into smaller increments, like red/blue counties and cities, and see how it works.

        • Rasilom

          I really like that aproach. Seems tactical, fitting and funnier than shit. Yes I likes it!

  • YoBunnyBunny

    True story: “Liberal Conservative extremists have gone TOO FAR! Smashing Jewish gravestones?! Burning cars mosques and churches! Stabbing good Samaritans on trains in broad daylight!!! Beating up reporters in the Free Press!!! Dividing America!”

    But do go on about how us liberals are terrorizing America…

    • Serai 1

      Your tags are pretty messed up there. Might want to fix them.

  • Susan Keane is a beautiful magazine writer whose weekly column, “Suddenly Susan,” reflects her struggles as a single woman in San Francisco

    Whaaaat? Beautiful Women can’t catch a break?

    Was this on the Absurdist Bizarro World channel?
    https://media0.giphy.com/media/l4KhPbIIDgO3sMw0w/giphy.gif

  • Oblios_Cap

    Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte says he was being sarcastic when he said he would take responsibility for any crimes they commit, even if they rape three women in the southern part of the country under martial law. Clinton responded with a tweet: “Not funny. Ever.” On Wednesday and Thursday, in public speeches, Duterte responded by attacking Chelsea with a statement laced with falsehoods: “When your father was screwing Lewinsky and the rest of the young girls there in the office of the president, on the table, on the floor, on the sofa, did you raise any” criticism?

    Such a Class Act, just like the Popular Vote Loser. No wonder L’il Donnie likes him.

  • Joe Beese

    We’re getting out. And we will start to renegotiate and we’ll see if there’s a better deal.

    How about humanity not going extinct? Does that sweeten the deal for you?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      This idiot couldn’t sell ice water in the Sahara.

    • MynameisBlarney

      trump; “but whats in it for ME?”

    • Wait, so if he is the best deal maker, like giving Russia back their spy mansions for “nothing”
      Does this mean he will negotiate a deal to kill all energy jobs?
      Friggin SAT correlations are gonna be fucked forever now

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Wtf? Seriously… If that Dumbass had all those wonderful deal making skillz he wouldn’t have to “see if there’s a better deal”. This stupid mofo couldn’t negotiate his broad ass down a flight of stairs. He’s got nothing.

    • georgiaburning

      45 has an in with the cockroaches. Ask his tenants

      • MynameisBlarney

        And bedbugs.
        Tons of ’em.

      • Suse

        45 IS a cockroach. He’ll survive the nuclear winter he’ll be initiating any day now.

        • ichthyopteryx

          If he’s a cockroach, then where are the hotels?

    • Canis the Grey

      It will be the AHCA of international climate treaties.

    • mackafritz

      Who the fuck is going to negotiate with this raging dumbass? Just about everyone hates him and thinks he is a moron.

    • jesterpunk

      Why is it his solution is to kill any deal Obama made then eventually maybe get around to a new deal? Why not work on the existing deal that is already in place…wait I think I answered my own question there. Obama= bad for republicans.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        What, you mean when your car has a flat tire you don’t set fire to it and then wait for someone to come along with a better one? What kind of deal-maker are you?

        • jesterpunk

          I burn the car then when someone comes by I buy them a brand new car.

        • BouncyFlyer

          Didn’t you hear, one pol just said “If there’s really a climate problem, God will take care of it!” As usual, never do anything, when you can get someone else to do it, that’s the American way, written in letters flaming in burning fossil fuel.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Dick Cheney said words to the effect “if a terrorist plot has 1% chance of succeeding, we should treat it as certainty”. To which I’d add, “if global warming has a 1% chance of killing us all, we should treat it as certainty.”

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Why do Republicans hate humanity so much? Why!

        • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

          What have humans ever done for them?

        • Parakeetist

          They did lots of coke 35 years ago.

          • H0mer0

            I was having one of the dialogs about drugs with one of my sons after picking him up after the SATs (like those commercials tell me to) and realized that I don’t really have that much against coke except for the expense and the effects on the heart, vascular system, etc…and Scarface just came back to my mind.

      • Canis the Grey
    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Obvious loophole: Trump doesn’t count himself as part of humanity.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      A better deal? Isn’t attempting to save the actual fucking planet we live on enough of a “deal” for this dickhead?

      You Kathy G, can the next one be on actual fire?

    • theblackdog

      Why should he care? He’s closer to the end of his life and he clearly subscribes to the school of “I got mine so fuck you”

      • Dudleydidwrong

        I’m twelve years older than that son-of-a-bitch and closer to the end, probably, than he is (I do not buy green bananas.) But I’ve got kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids. I do care about the world we’re leaving them. Trump is all immediate gratification and fuck what comes after him. Maybe literally, also, too.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    OT: No sir, I’m afraid I do NOT sell lengths of finished picture-frame molding. I am trying to make a living by making picture frames, so it really isn’t in my interest to provide you with the means to do without my services.

    I swear, people don’t think this stuff all the way through.

  • Spurning Beer

    Donald, what the fuck kind of “deal” are you talking about here? What does “winning” mean here?

    We’ll decrease emissions if India and China decrease them more? And otherwise we’ll do nothing? Genius!

    We’ll decrease carbon emissions if carbon agrees to cede one of it’s available electrons?

    • PubOption

      Cov-al-al-ent?

      • ichthyopteryx

        Covfefelent, maybe.

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          Covfefelent Green?

          • H0mer0

            nice layup there!

    • mackafritz

      He hasn’t got a clue what the Paris Agreement actually is. It was finalized while Obama was president, therefore it is bad.

    • Skeptical_thinker

      Two!11!!! Never settle for less that one third!!1!!

    • phoenix00

      Neutron: Nope.

      • H0mer0

        “He is easily the strongest man in the Universe!”

        • phoenix00

          He has to hold everything together, after all.

  • Suse

    Distraction tactic. Piss off people who want to save the planet to get them off the Russia stuff. Could work for awhile.

    • Persistent Demme

      Nah.
      Not gonna work.
      We all expected this, didn’t we?

      My old town, Palo Alto, CA, just issued a statement saying they would uphold the Paris agreement.
      STATES RIGHTS!!!!

      • Suse

        So did the mayor of Pittsburgh, the place Don mentioned he cares about more than Paris!

      • Suse

        Jerry Brown isn’t going to take Drumpf’s garbage, either.

        • Persistent Demme

          Nope.

        • laineypc

          I’ll take Brown as my new president of the New Seceded and ReConstitutioned States of Sane Americans

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        Republicans LOVE local control. With the following exceptions:
        – minimum wage
        – LGBT rights
        – school textbooks
        – sanctuary policies
        – marijuana initiatives
        And now, environmental pacts

        • phoenix00

          Don’t forget “pro-life”

      • H0mer0

        you’re from Shallow Alto? I grew up there!

        • Persistent Demme

          Yep.
          Our two girls went to Paly and Jordan.
          Word is, they want to get rid of the name Jordan, (he was some kind of social-Darwinist, I think), so they can name the school after Steve Jobs.

    • Steely_Fan

      Yep. That’s the strategery. Let’s hope it doesn’t work.

    • shoeflyin

      Called my senators, mentioned both Paris AND Russia. Keep it short to avoid cursing and ranting.

  • cheetojeebus

    Calmly switches off TV [loud sounds of shit being smashed]

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Politico sez this ends weeks of intrigue. Right. If you’re a dope.

    • Suse

      I’m going to take a shower because I feel like I’ve been slimed.

    • Hardly Ideal

      Hey, it’s not like it had demonic sheep or anything.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    We join Syria and Nicaragua on the sidelines of the Paris Accord.

    • Suse

      I hear they’re being discussed more and more and are doing a terrific job.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      And Nicaragua has the moral high ground for not finding the agreement going too far. Syria is excused for having a problem with a government to vote for it

    • Canis the Grey

      ‘Nicaragua’s lead envoy explained to reporters that the country would not support the agreed-upon plan as it hinged on voluntary pledges and would not punish those who failed to meet them. That was simply not enough, Paul Oquist argued.’

      One country because of civil war, and the other because the penalties for noncompliance were not strict enough for their liking. Trumplandia? Pure pigheaded obsession with destroying his predecessor’s legacy.
      https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2017/05/31/why-nicaragua-and-syria-didnt-join-the-paris-climate-accord/?utm_term=.8a0b57abb3c4

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        So I read it will take four years to fully withdraw? Just right to make this one of THE KEY ISSUES for 2020. At least there is that …. this is a dark, sad, bigly terrible day.

        • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

          If we make it that long

        • Dudleydidwrong

          Coitus interruptus fuckallofus

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      This is good news for China and Russia.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Little Baron will inherit a smoldering hellscape from his father.

    • Suse

      The kid has been doomed from the beginning.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Ivanka gets it all.

      • Three inches at a time!

        • ichthyopteryx

          Eh? Are you even sure it’ll make it to three?

          • I hope to never find out! Though, he IS dicking the whole world…

          • Strepsi

            not if he’s fingering her.

        • Thorn Spike

          Pass the brain bleach, please.

        • Jeffery Campbell

          Jared Libelz!!!1!!1

    • Anna Rompage

      He’ll be okay, as he can afford to buy a place that has a ventilation system that can scrub out the nuclear contamination

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        He can split time between the front car of the “Snowpiercer” train and the very best gold-plated section of “Elysium”.

    • Au contraire, he will inherit the undersea paradise that was Mar-a-Lago.

    • TJ Barke

      It’ll be fine, he can afford to live in a dome.

    • Strepsi
    • Hardly Ideal
    • Covfefe

      At least Little Baronn won’t have to pay inheritance tax on his smoldering hellscape.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    The more they show that picture, the more I realize how unrealistic it is.

    Real Trump’s mouth is never closed.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba
    • Zyxomma

      Yes, saw this earlier in the day. Sigh.

  • That ad is sorely lacking in Pajama Boy references. Sad!

    • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

      And demon sheep, also, too.

  • Suse
    • Rick Hill

      ‘S ok. China is ready and willing to step up to be the next global leader….

      • Ferroequinologist Ron

        Which should happen in… let’s see… some time this summer.

      • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

        Merkel Libel!

      • phoenix00

        Or Russia leapfrogs both.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        To borrow a line from a Tom Leher song, “‘Und I’m learning Chinese’, says Verner Von Braun”

  • mackafritz
    • Suse

      Is this real?

      • TJ Barke

        No.

        • Suse

          Damn!

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Yes. Donald Trump IS a deranged and vicious cretin.

      • LadyLaz

        No but it is hilarious

  • Suse
    • Hardly Ideal

      I’ve heard that the only other countries not in the agreement are Nicaragua and Syria. Not exactly paragons of science, but then again neither is the US.

      Y’know, I read in a book once that you’re judged by the company you keep.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        And…Nicaragua didn’t sign because is wasn’t fucking tough enough. So, it’s just the US and Syria, baby! Good times.

        • Nicaragua is actually heading for 90% renewable energy by 2020. I have many criticisms of Daniel Ortega but damn fine work on this issue at least.

      • efoveks

        Must be one of those hippy liberal publications…

        • Hardly Ideal

          I tried asking someone if they heard of it, but they kept saying it was from “the book.” It was like a goddamned Abbott and Costello routine.

      • and nicaragua is in process of joining!

        rock on sandinistas!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I am so proud my BSEE degree has Jerry’s signature on it!

      • Cock Blockula

        My BA has his signature from the first time he was Gov.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Mine, too.

    • LadyLaz

      Hear California roar.

    • phoenix00

      RESIST!

    • pianoplayer1

      Remember Jerry Brown loves Linda Rondstadt?

      • SeeTrain65

        And I remember Ahnold loved his housekeeper.

        • B0rchkins

          Ahnold sexed his housekeeper, but Loved the Kennedy prestige.

          • SeeTrain65

            Annnnnnnnnnnnd … one upvote for YOU! :)

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Oh no, is “out of state money” bad, or something?
    That’s it Koch Bros, Crossroads, Club For Growth, YOU’RE ON NOTICE!

    Does this hypocrisy make my GOP smell like ass?

  • TJ Barke

    Not unlike Trump’s budget, the decision for leaving the Paris agreement contains multi trillion dollar error: https://thinkprogress.org/trillions-cost-no-c617bc9ff0de

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      shocked, shocked, etc etc

      fuckers.

  • BadKitty904

    If Jon Ossof were any more wholesome, he’d contain dietary fiber.

    • He might be cauliflower

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Nonsense, that is one tasty looking asparagus spear.

        • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

          Where do I ind those photos? Asking for a friend, of course…

      • Gregory Brown

        Mark Twain called cauliflower cabbage with a college education.

    • Me not sure

      What? You’ve never heard of Ossof Bran. There’s a whole scoop of fiber in every bowl!

  • Suttree

    My non-existent children have been deeply perturbed by this ad. Unless they made money off of it, then it’s righteous.

    • Parakeetist

      My children don’t exist either. :)

      • The Other Tim

        Neither did Donald’s 11 year old until he needed him.

  • norcalOG

    I believe I predicted by election day, he would be Kim Jon O, beloved cousin of you-know-who and serious treat to all humanity.
    And there’s still time for him to become Abdul Muhammed Jon O, whose murderous supporters are planning yet another assault on the Varsity Drive In in Atlanta where they plan to steal the millions of hot dogs in storage and use them to free political prisoners in Afghan jails.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    WTG Mr. Ossoff! Great response! I really hope this backfires badly on them. I am not holding my breath on it, but I still hope.

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    What Griffin did was stupid, tasteless and gross but I never would have heard or seen anything about it but for RWNJs plastering it all over the place.

    • phoenix00

      If Griffin’s stunt was so sick and disgusting and out-of-line, why are the wingnuts plastering it all over the place? Makes you wonder….

    • miss_grundy

      And the RWNJs did worse circulating emails in which they had images of Bamz lynched, of Michelle as an ape and mocking the Malia and Sacha. The problem with the RWNJs is that we let them get away with their pearl-clutching and their fainting spells instead of calling them out on their shit. So, fuck them.

  • psychobroad

    Ya Burnt, Handel!

  • Nodrama4mama

    Lets face it, John Ossoff is the living embodiment of the nice boy you hope your kid marries. Karen Handel is counting on stupidity (which to be fair, is never an unsafe bet in the US)

    • Chris

      And he’s,going to marry the doctor you wish your kid was going to marry. If Ossoff were any cuter he’d be from Central Casting.

    • Kooolest G

      to be fair, not every part of the US is stupid, ok where’s he running again? oh…. right, I’ll put $100 on Handel to win

  • phoenix00

    This has all the whiffs of desperation, which Handel is, cuz she’s got nothing else.

    Go Ossoff! You can do this!

  • Christine Gray

    “Karen Handel should immediately demand this ad be pulled before any more children have to see these disturbing images on TV.”

    I thought I was in love with the mayor of Austin. (It would be even better if it was spelled Austen…)

    I was wrong.

    I love Ossoff 4ever!!!!111!!!11!!

  • ryp

    Ossoff supports the window-smashing car-burning mock-beheading agenda of Nancy Pelosi and Michael Moore? Glad I found that out before I voted.

  • Paperless Tiger

    At least it wasn’t Anthony Weiner’s dick this time.

  • mfp

    this is the stupidest thing i’ve ever seen…it should work perfectly for its intended audience

  • The Librarian

    Oh, those scary liberals!

    I think people should be scared, be very, very scared……of Karen Handel.

    She’s the one that can really kill you.

  • miss_grundy

    On Lawrence O’Donnell ” The Last Word”, Ossoff is only 1% point ahead. He is 49%, Handel is 48% and there is 3% Undecided. Grrr!

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      That’s within the margin of error, so who knows what is really going on? Dang!

      • Three Finger Salute

        Purity voting strikes again, I guess.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    “Karen Handel should immediately demand this ad be pulled before any more children have to see these disturbing images on TV.”

    Damn, that is the perfect response! This Ossoff guy can do politics good!

    • Edith Prickly

      He’s Han Solo, he can do anything!

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    They even lie about the weather. Typical wind speeds over the Golden Gate bridge are 15 to 20 knots. There is no way a banner would hang straight down like that.

  • Patricia Wilson

    Hillary,sorry you say you’ve lost the feeling in your brain but,for God’s sake please make it stop…the old gal is clearly insane.

    • Dazza

      What?
      I think you have commented in the wrong thread. This is about the GA6 election.

      • Truthiness2U

        I think you mean to say, this is maybe not the website they were looking for. Because first off, put some spaces between your commas and the next letters. I’m an inveterate comma abuser, but even I don’t do that!

        Oh, and there is the fact that the rest of their comment is a bunch of sexist, ageist, Rightwing talkingpoints twaddle, but ya know…comma spaces!

        • BearLeft

          Literacy ain’t the long suit of these subterranean morons; or cogency; or rational thought; but ya know …

          • Gregory Brown

            It’s all about the limbic system.

      • BearLeft

        This one is about events on planet Earth.

  • IT’S NOT FUNNY.

    No, it really really is (snicker)

  • Marla

    So when will the Rethuglicons learn they are poor comedy writers?

    • Gregory Brown

      Never. They are Dunning Kruger comedy writers, utterly incompetent and utterly unaware of it, while believing they are doing great. Conservative “humor” is all based on cruelty and discrimination against the “other.”

  • Three Finger Salute

    ‘Member the Star Wars ad where they tried to depict him as an immature kid?

    OH NOES JON OSSOFF IS LIKE DIXIELAND TRUDEAU!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5U8KvpfO-c

    That’s actually a compliment, you numpties.

    GOP: They’re Just Not Ready™ to join the adults’ table. Nice brown shirts, though.

  • Ill-Advised

    One more angry liberal standing with Jon.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I would certainly like to make a “donation” on Jon Ossof’s chest. Wait, what are we talking about?

  • UnsaltedSinner
  • AltEvil

    They are so easily triggered. Lizard brain targeting advertising at it’s finest.

  • Maclare

    Here in GA, we have 3 more weeks of this shit. Jeebuz help us.

  • chicken thief

    Apologies in advance if already posted but the CLF pointing out the Ossoff has out of state funding is some bold ass “pot calling the kettle black”. From wikipedia, for 2012:

    “Their largest donor was Sheldon Adelson, who gave $5 million in 2012. Other major donors included the late Texas home builder Bob J. Perry and Chevron.”

  • pianoplayer1

    Ossoff is so cute. And well-qualified!

  • rubikcube

    Yeah, but it may be stupid, but it will work. It plays into voters’ fears plain and simple.
    Jon needs to work his Ossoff if he expects to overcome this onslaught.
    *BTW- I hear no crying about the ‘outsider’ money that produced this shitty ad.

  • Harbinger08

    The lines are clearly drawn. It’s not about getting voters to switch. It’s all about turnout from here on out.

  • Bob Harris

    all liberals should be eradicated

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