Sean! Stop pinching the Fox logo! Ouch!

After his recent adventures in trying to revive a fact-free conspiracy claim that a murdered DNC staffer was the real source of hacked documents given to Wikileaks, thereby making the Trump-Russia scandal vanish in a puff of illogic, Sean Hannity will be taking a couple of days off to cool his heels. But don’t worry, Fox News viewers — this is absolutely nothing like Bill O’Reilly’s “vacation” where Fox sent him to go live at a nice farm upstate. Hannity will definitely be back after the holiday weekend, says Fox News, which apparently hopes taking the man’s big dumb mouth off the air for a few days will slow or stop a growing advertiser boycott.

On Tuesday, the day after pulled its May 17 story claiming “new evidence” linked DNC staffer Seth Rich with the leaks, Hannity said on his radio show that he would “retract nothing,” but by Tuesday evening on Fox News, Hannity had decided, out of “respect” for the Rich family, to stop promoting the story “for now.” He then went back to Twitter to hint that he still had oodles of important evidence to share about Rich (and his supposed assassination by Hillary Clinton death squads), but has to sit on it for now because he’s such a goddamn gentleman and because liberal fascists are out to get him kicked off the air, as liberal fascists do. By Wednesday, at least seven advertisers had pulled their ads from the Hannity show, and Kimberly Guilfoyle, co-host of “The Five,” announced she’d be filling in for Hannity Thursday and Friday. It’s unclear whether Hannity would be hosting his radio show, which runs at 6:00 Eastern, for those two days.

After online speculation that Hannity might be getting the same vacation-leading-to-a-firing treatment O’Reilly did, Fox News issued a statement explaining that everything was perfectly normal and that Hannity really was just on vacation, you fools:

Like the rest of the country, Sean Hannity is taking a vacation for Memorial Day weekend and will be back on Tuesday […] Those who suggest otherwise are going to look foolish.

Hanitty himself offered a similar sentiment on the Twitters, laughing at all you morons who think a mere advertiser boycott could bring him down:

We’re perfectly willing to believe Hannity will be back, since so far he hasn’t actually run up any huge legal fees for Fox like Pussgrab O’Reilly did. But it’s worth noting that when O’Reilly went away for “a month,” Fox issued a statement guaranteeing he’d be returning, and O’Reilly said it was just his ordinary vacay, nothing to see here. Gosh, similar language, too:

I often takes some time off around this time of the year. I grab some vacation, because it’s spring and Easter time. Last fall, I booked a trip that should be terrific. Not gonna tell you where it is, but we have a contest [online]… I’ll have a full report when I return.

And nobody ever won that guessing contest, sadface :(

In an interview with Huffington Post Wednesday, Hannity said even though he’s the target of a liberal witch-hunt, he regrets nothing:

“There’s nothing that I did, nothing that I said, except they don’t like my position politically,” he said. “They’ll try to ratchet up the intensity of their rationale. It does not justify an attempt to get me fired. And that’s what this is. This is an attempt to take me out. This is a kill shot.”

He also insisted his decision to temporarily stop pursuing the Rich story on Fox was entirely his own, because nobody pushes around Sean Goddamn Hannity, see? He’s Irish, and you don’t make him mad, see? Sean Hannity is a FREE MAN!

“I did it out of my own heart,” he said. “Nobody tells me what to say on my show. They never have and frankly they never will. I’m not that type of person you can say, ‘Go on air and say this.’ That’s been the beauty of Fox News all these years. They leave me alone.”

We’d like to think that he was then gassed, taken to an island, and informed he would henceforth be called “Number Six.”

Despite Hannity’s protestations, CNN’s Dylan Byers reports Hannity may have had just a skosh of help in making up his mind all by himself:

[Four] sources at Fox told CNNMoney that Hannity did face internal pressure to back off the Rich story, even if he made the decision to do so on his own. Suzanne Scott, the network’s president of programming, and other executives met with Hannity on Tuesday and encouraged him to stop advancing the theory.

Fox News did not comment, and Hannity did not respond to a request for comment […]

Fox News staffers have told CNNMoney that they are frustrated and embarrassed by Hannity’s peddling of the conspiracy. “It is disappointing because it drags the rest of us down,” one senior Fox News employee said earlier this week.

While the sudden vacation (and the denials it means anything) are very similar to the process of making Bill O’Reilly an unperson, at least with Hannity we’ll know by Tuesday whether Fox decides he’s still a profitable asset. If you’re in the mood to let advertisers know you aren’t a fan of fake news, the list of Hannity advertisers is still up at Media Matters. Heck, if an advertising boycott really does drive him from Fox, at least Hannity can take some satisfaction in having been right for once.

Be seeing you, Mr. Hannity.

Yr Wonkette is supported by readers like you. Please click the “Donate” clicky below to help! We’d hate to have to send Rover out after you.

[ / Buzzfeed / HuffPo / CNN / Media Matters]

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  • Joe Beese
  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Number Six libel. Hannity has no principles.

  • Crank Tango
  • Reximus

    dont care, sean

  • Oblios_Cap

    In the spirit of Towel Day, I propose we all wet our towels and snap him until he bleeds.

    • John Thorstensen

      Well … with votes, maybe.

  • Vincent Ricola

    I hope he spends his holiday weekend waiting on a “yes, you still have a job” phone call that never comes.

  • Vecchioivan

    And rode off softly strumming his guitar and murmuring

    Non, rien de rien, non, je ne regrette rien 🎶 . . .

  • TJ Barke

    Fuck off, Sean, you pathetic clown.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Isn’t he supposed to be getting waterboarded or something?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      For charity! He could still do some good in this world, if he wants to. That would bank hella pay-per-view.

  • Mavenmaven

    “I’m not a number, I’m a moron.”

    • WotsAllThisThen

      “I’m a number two.”

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        “I’m a bottom.”

  • WotsAllThisThen

    “This is an attempt to take me out. This is a kill shot.”

    About that whole respect for the family thing….

  • exinkwretch

    Not many people know this, but this “break” is actually for a little personal maintenance. Hannity’s tonsorial splendor is preserved by coating his head liberally (pun intended) in chickenshit and then sprayed with several coats of industrial strength shellac.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    I sincerely hope he enjoys his vacay with Breitbart, Ailes and Atwater.

    In hell.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    OT: This Week’s round of “Evil or Stupid?”

    “Listen, I lost my sister to breast cancer,” an emotional Meadows told reporters. “I lost my dad to lung cancer. If anybody is sensitive to preexisting conditions, it’s me. I’m not going to make a political decision today that affects somebody’s sister or father because I wouldn’t do it to myself.”

    Meadows pledged to conduct his own analysis of the CBO’s numbers and to add needed funds to the high-risk pools to ensure that people with preexisting conditions can get covered.

    “In the end, we’ve got to make sure there’s enough funding there to handle preexisting conditions and drive down premiums,” he said. “And if we can’t do those three things, then we will have failed.”

    • Treg Brown ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ
    • Hollandaise

      That’s not 3 things so I pick stupid. But it’s usually both so…

    • msanthropesmr

      There is such a thing, Meadows….it’s called single payer you asshole.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Seriously, just tax the rich a bit more and this whole healthcare thing is a slam dunk.

        Repeat this over and over to anyone who’ll listen. Maybe it’ll eventually sink in as deep as all the wingnutty bullshit about “trickle down” and “the government is the problem” started by that asshole Reagan.

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    In the words of Forrest Gump’s mother: “Vacation is when you go somewhere, and you never come back”

    • msanthropesmr

      Where you been? Get lost in one of the growler stores here in the capital of the Confederacy?

      • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

        Had a wild last 12 months: new job (same employer), sold my soul to damn dirty bankers for a house (westover hills), new babby
        And my work PC does not get along with wonkette dot com for some reason

        • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

          Also, Fitz, Jr., in Kindergarten

    • Khavrinen
  • Relativicus

    “This is a kill shot.”

    Did Hannity give away the game here? He either Freuded (it’s a word!) the fact he’s been fired, or will be soon, or he’s so stupid he doesn’t even know what a “kill shot” is.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Or it was a subtle shout out to the murder victim’s family.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I’ll take “stupid” for $200, please.

  • vivian

    Maybe we should all put Fox News on the TV tonight…
    (turn down the sound and throw a blanket over the TV so you don’t
    have to actually watch). KG gets higher ratings and Sean is toast.

  • Hannity sure likes to whine like a little bitch. Maybe he needed to go to his safe space for a week.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      What a puss snowflake.

  • Nockular cavity
  • Mr. Blobfish

    Watch your back, Sean Spicer.

  • vivian

    Also: “Chase Chickens All Day”? Just put him in front of a mirror.

    • onedollarjuana

      Sure it’s not “fuck chickens all day” or “choke the chicken all day”?

  • Belasaurius

    wonder if he’s heading to the sex island that Limbaugh uses

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Nah, Hannity likes girls.

  • miss_grundy

    Is he going on vacation just like O’Reilly???????

    • C4TWOMAN

      Alas, I think he’s coming back.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “You want a piece of me?”
    //Holds up two fists
    “You’ll have to get through Sandra Day O’Connor and Bono, first.”
    Elaine from Seinfeld steps in and drops Hannity like a bag of dirt.

  • onedollarjuana

    “Vacation” or “re-education camp”?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Something something Old Yeller something.

  • mancityRed6
    • BosGrl

      He represents the kind of people who strangle reporters and shove people out of their way. Drumpf supporters like this.

    • miss_grundy

      What an asshole! Christ Jesus, someone please kick him in the crotch!

      • BosGrl

        I want to see Angela Merkle do it.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I would have paid the Swiss Guard all my Sorosbucks.

      • The Wanderer

        Throw an elbow at least!

    • therblig

      did that make america great again?

    • SayItWithWookies

      Respect – if you can’t earn it, then at least insist on the appearance of it.

  • ltmcdies

    The one thing I’ve always wished Obama had got around to establishing were those FEMA re education camps in the WalMart basements.

    Hannity really needs to see one.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      You have to take away their guns before they become disgruntled ex-employees. When will we learn?

    • Wild Cat

      How Obama dealt with these jackals for eight years Dog only knows.
      I’d of waterboarded them and their congress and their paymasters in a month after taking office if they treated me like they treated him.

      • ltmcdies

        I’d have paid money to see that and I’m not even American…or a Democrat…and I’m pale.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall
  • Wild Cat

    Well, I hope he doesn’t head downtown to visit his grandma Tillie. Five Points became TriBeCa years ago, and they don’t like the shanty ones from Fox coming around anymore.

  • William

    ….and it’s not even my birthday.

  • JParkerSD46

    Fox executives “encouraged him to stop advancing the story”. Maybe it was more like, “Hannity, shut the fuck up about this bullshit story. It may be great for riling up the rubes, but you’re killing the revenue stream. Knock it the fuck off!”

  • Pre-existing Ugly Dude
  • jesterpunk

    “This must be Thursday,’ said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer. ‘I never could get the hang of Thursdays.”

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    You know you suck when you’re dragging Fox “News” down.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    An Open Letter to Whatever Temp is Pretending to Head Faux Snooze Now:
    Dear (?),
    This is all twenty years too late.
    But thanks for trying.
    *”sincere” as in “fair and balanced”

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Chickens everywhere pray to run faster.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Hannity is going up north to live on a nice cuck farm run by an old lady.

  • Ricky Gay
  • Proud Liberal

    His long vacation will come soon enough.

  • Bill D. Burger

    insHannity is beginning to bleed advertisers. He’ running away to hide hoping to stop the bleeding before it becomes a gushing wound.

    • Proud Liberal

      Too late.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      He’s bleeding from his wherever

  • The new Fox News theme song?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Nobody tells Sean Hannity what to do – at least Roger Ailes never had to, after reading the daily memo, which was always a polite suggestion and certainly not marching orders.

  • Oblios_Cap
    • Crystalclear12

      Please don’t be true

      • HazooToo

        Please do. We’re already past the point of no return, I want everyone to see what an embarrassment that man is. I want it to be utterly undeniable. I want other world leaders to say it to his face.

        • Wild Cat

          If they’re sharing anything with him, they’re utter idiots too.
          And who is really watching the ‘football’?

          • HazooToo

            Probably the same people who are watching Barron.

    • LucindathePook

      Hope he included electoral college map.

  • elviouslyqueer
    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      Someone ought to drug Hannity and dress him up like Snow White, just to watch him freak out. Maybe it’ll render him catatonic.

  • Crystalclear12

    Come on, Sean. Come on, boy! You want to go see your friend Billy?

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Hannity Going On Vacation To Farm Where He Can Run And Chase Chickens All Day Long

    Is this the same farm where he can sexually harass all the bottle blondes they grow in the nearby hydroponics?

    Or will Bill-O continue to be friendless?

  • Bill D. Burger

    The loony tune raging cuck and snowflake is going on vacation (read: hiding out) hoping the furor will die down and his advertisers will stay.

    Time to up the pressure and continue to contact the advertisers:×403.png

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The Untuckit guy can go on a solo vaycay to Nantucket, for all I care.

      Douchebro too cheap to get a real ad campaign.

      We should sympathize at him for how hard it was to find a shirt that “looked good” not tucked in?

      • LucindathePook

        I have been hating him for a while. And how hard is it to cut the tail off a shirt and then hem it, anyway?

    • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend

      I hereby pledge never to buy another Alfa Romeo until they take Hannity off the air permanently!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Now there is an interesting observation, worthy of the attention of Colbert, Kimmel, The Nightly Report, Seth, Chris, O’Donnell and our very own Rachel.

        How much of what raggedy-assed paid advertising that Fox News does land is really an under-the-table deal for favorable propaganda?

        There can’t be much of a market for Alfa-Romeos among the junkyard alpha dogs.

        And the real trillionaires are too busy to watch Fox News. They are too busy raping under-aged pee hookers while getting themselves compromised.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Trump bringing back Lewandowski for spin control, because you stupid fucking idiots don’t understand how brilliant Trump is. “You just don’t get it” Lewandowski screams at you, as he body slams your toddler to the ground.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    He will be missed.

    (Not by me, but I imagine someone will miss him.)

    • Crystalclear12

      I wasn’t even aiming for him!

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    You ain’t The Last DJ, Sean. So knock it off with the “Yeah, I’m sticking it to the man!”

    You are “the man”, you soulless turd.

  • William
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “There’s nothing that I did, nothing that I said, except they don’t like my position politically,” he said.

    Sean Rich’s family begs to differ, asshole…

  • chazmanr

    The primetime ratings for Fox are in the toilet. Now is the time to write every one Hannity’s advertisers and tell them that despite their protestations to the contrary, their sponsorship of the Hannity program is most certainly an endorsement of the views expressed on his show. They are trying to appeal to an audience that share’s Hannity’s views. Further, does anyone believe a Hannity viewer is going to buy an Alfa Romeo?

    • snark-lurker

      I donut know how that works, advertising to non-buyers, unless…unless they are giving financial support to propaganda..

      • chazmanr

        Fat, white men over 60 don’t drive Alfa’s.

        • snark-lurker

          Right. So they are not “advertising”, they are paying for propaganda.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Oh Mr. insHannity! Message from sane America for you:

  • Thaumaturgist

    Maybe I was in a hurry. I missed the “number six” thing. So I Googled. Turns out the number six is related to sorcery. Is that what Doc was talking about?

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Let’s review the bidding: grabbing someone by the throat, throwing them to the ground, and repeatedly punching them in the face: a playground fracas. Contacting advertisers after beraved parents beg you to stop using their son’s death as part of a bizarre fake news distraction and you refuse: a kill shot.

    Has anyone ever seen the TOS episode The Squire of Gothos?

    • The Wanderer

      Yes. Are you suggesting that Hannity’s acting like Squire Trelane?

  • Chadwells

    For a fucking jerkoff who acts like he is such an tough guy….he sure gets pussy hurt and cries a lot.

    All these fucking idiots are ridiculous clones of each other. Fuckface, Hannity, BillO,etc etc etc…..and they are all a bunch of gutless, sissy mother fuckers.

    If they got around an actual tough guy….they’d shit their pants or try and fellate said tough guy.

  • William
    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      I can just picture that woman saying “I don’t care that the men at Fox sexually molested me. It just means I’m so cute! Hee hee!”

      • William

        and “Kidnappings, it’s essentially an unannounced adoption “

  • OneYieldRegular

    Hunh? I thought Hannity’s show was his vacation.

  • ken_kukec

    “And nobody ever won that guessing contest.”

    Which I’m protesting, since I correctly guessed “oblivion.”

  • Chadwells

    I just don’t understand the idea of these idiots pretending to be tough. Dude….you’re a fucking NEWS ANCHOR!!! It’s asinine. Tough people don’t fucking brag about how tough they are.

    These are the kinds of people who actually NEED to be bullied. The Hannity’s and Fuckface’s of the world.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      They are deeply, deeply insecure, acting tough is the one thing that keeps them from being scared of their own shadow.

      • Chadwells

        It’s true, it’s obvious and it’s fucking pathetic. With a twist of irony.

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      News anchor? Puh-leeze. Yawn Inanity is and always was a propagandist.

      • Chadwells

        I wasn’t commenting whether he was legit or not….just that he is a jackass on TV who is assumed to be a news anchor. The point was…he’s a fucking gutless hack who is a pansy.

  • Chadwells


  • Cogswell

    This needs to live somewhere and it fits under thuggery.

    • elviouslyqueer

      This. Motherfucker. Right. Here.

      • Cogswell

        I don’t know who the lady is, but I can imagine what he said to her… probably something like “go fuck yourself.”

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Can’t wait for the transcripts. Think TASS will release them first?

        • Antonin Dvorak

          If you mean the lady in Blue, a quick persual of NATO’s website says she is the President of Lithuania.

          • Cogswell

            Thank you.

    • Thiazin Red

      What a fucking tool.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      “Out of my way. I have nukes.”

    • jesterpunk
    • marxalot

      Like a parody of an American president. Hell, Billy Bob Thornton was better behaved in that movie that people like to argue about.

      • Cogswell

        I don’t know what movie that is. As an aside, I met Billy Bob when I worked on the crew for A Simple Plan in 1998. It was filmed in northern Wisconsin. He was very funny and very down to earth. He joked around with everyone.

        Better yet, I smoked a doobie with Woody Harrelson at a after hours party while on the crew of The Hi Lo Country.

    • mailman27

      Sumpin’ ya don’t see every day- a swaggering pussy.

  • BosGrl

    OT: Anybody else cold today? It’s May 25 and I just put the heat on…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Up here in the North [Subarctic Wasteland] Country, we call that ‘summer’.

      • BosGrl

        I’m not usually a wimp about the cold but ugh.

    • Cogswell

      Not too bad here in SE Wisconsin…

    • snark-lurker

      Where is your neck of the woods?

      • BosGrl


        • snark-lurker

          Ah! 1 of my 3 kids lives there (after born & raised in Iowasux). He is hooked on visiting historic sites and a certain Boston gurl who’s gonna put him in harness this summer.

          • BosGrl

            Congrats! :)

          • snark-lurker

            Thx. He loves Boston.

          • kev

            is Iowasux near Muscatine?

          • snark-lurker

            between Button Town & IC

    • DrBigHead

      Looking at 97 here today. So no, not really.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      It has been hotter than the hinges of Hell in Florida. (Less today, but coming back soon.) Just like non-existent global warming scare stories predicted.

      • BosGrl

        I’d be happy to send some of this rawness your way!

        • Mehmeisterjr

          And vicey-versy.

          And, of course, there have always been extreme temperature differences between different regions.

          The utterly disproved, greatest lie ever told Global Warming thing only predicts that they will become increasingly violent and extreme. Until everything shuts down.

          Relax, we’ll all be dead by then and raptured, also, too.

          Oh well, fuck future generations. I got mine.

          Wait, what? Trump’s new Dare to be Great health plan will take away mine?

          Now what do I do?

          • BosGrl

            We are all screwed.

    • kev

      nasty cold and rainy as fuck here in cleveland. it’s been a horrible spring. if april showers bring may flowers, this shit is bringing bottomless depression.

    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      Well below normal Up Here in Ontario’s Banana Belt. As it has been most of the month.

  • Msgr_MΩment
    • Antonin Dvorak

      Is that our man Rob?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Uh huh.

    • Chadwells

      Great photo!

    • Marceline

      I hope we have something to celebrate tomorrow.

  • Anna Rompage

    Let me guess, Hannity is being sent to the same rehab camp that both Josh Duggar & Bill O’Riley were sent to, to overcome their patters of abusing people…

  • UnsaltedSinner
  • William
    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      Gorilla libelz!

  • Michael R
  • Jgb979


    It’s just going to be Tucker Carlson???

    (Good luck amoral dickheads! You’re going to need it)

  • ImGoingBacon

    Fox News staffers Shepherd Smith and Chris Wallace have told CNNMoney that they are frustrated and embarrassed by Hannity’s peddling of the conspiracy.


  • JohnBull

    First Billo, then his dippy sidekick Jesse Waters, now Hannity. What the hell is going to happen when these distended viewers get off their couches and start rejoining society? Quite frankly I’m a bit unnerved.

    • snark-lurker

      I am encouraged.

    • Anna Rompage

      Did they really fire that dickwad Watters guy? Really?

      • JohnBull

        I wish. Just an involuntary vacation away from his problems–that he caused himself by being a smirking, unfunny, racist child who thinks he’s a reporter.

  • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

    Hannity Going On Vacation To Farm Where He Can Run And Chase Chickens All Day Long

    This will be the Fox (News) in charge of the henhouse.

  • ken_kukec

    “… he was then gassed, taken to an island, and informed he would henceforth be called ‘Number Six.’”

    Which is a major promotion from his former title, “Number Two.”

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      Hannity has #2 for brains.

    • Chris

      Extra points for The Prisoner reference.

  • William

    So like one Fox- molester took a dirt nap, another got shit-canned, a third just went to his snowflake safe place and then there is the lawsuits and payoffs for the harassment and workplace douchebaggery, and the month isn’t even over.

  • Randy Riddle

    “We’re perfectly willing to believe Hannity will be back, since so far he hasn’t actually run up any huge legal fees for Fox like Pussgrab O’Reilly did.”

    Not all legal settlements need to be made public.

  • marxalot

    I’d say “hey Hannity, go screw,” but that implies the cooperation of another human person.

    • DrBigHead

      And I don’t think I hate anyone that much.

  • JMP
  • chiefkurtz

    I’ve said it before (after Bill, then Jesse Watters)…what every Fox employee looks like when they’re told to take a vacation…

    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      There was a very, very early Conan episode, where he had Robert Duvall on, and at the time he had a recurring bit with Abe Vigoda which would basically be Abe shouting “‘I’m not dead!!” as he rode around on something. So he said he had the uncut version of the scene, and he had gotten Duvall and Vigoda to actually shoot new material and they’d cut it in, so the scene now went:

      Sal: Can’t you get me off, Tom? For old time’s sake?
      Tom: Sorry, Sal.
      Sal: No, seriously, couldn’t you?
      Tom: I really can’t.
      Sal: What if we went for Mexican food?
      Tom: Weeellll…. I really do like enchiladas….
      Sal: We could get margaritas!
      Tom: Uh……no, sorry, Sal, no can do.

      I still laugh every time I think about it.

  • jesuswasablack
  • Daniel Hooper

    Little bit of a story; there’s a board game called Dungeon Petz, where players are raising monsters to sell off to dungeon lords for money and points. If a monster isn’t taken care of well enough, you lose it. The game manual specially says that monsters never die; they, “go to the farm”. The very next line instructs you to put out more meat for sale the round after a monster, “goes to the farm”

    Don’t know why I’m suddenly reminded of that. And has anybody seen Bill O’Reilly lately?…

  • jesuswasablack

    Who hasn’t Hillary and Bubba murdered?

  • jesuswasablack
    • OrdinaryJoe

      Wow. Weak and incomplete. They forgot Christopher Stevens. Why are they trying to help the Clinton’s hide. Cucks???

      • mary5920

        They forgot Howdy Doody and Mr. Bluster.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          And Col. Mustard.

    • Bigby

      I’d forgotten all about that rubbish tontine, but all the mysterious deaths, I daresay there’s not much mystery. They’re just desperate to sell newspapers.
      Gloucester fell off the roof mucking about with the aerial, Wens and Bux died in their sleep at the pensioners’ home, and as for Stilton, there’s no nice way to put it…auto-erotic asphyxiation.
      You’re joking!
      Stilton was always quite keen on that.
      Remember? Always looking for something sturdy to loop his Sam Brown over?
      I do seem to recall an awful lot of loose doorknobs.
      Oh, plus what he named his plane.
      I always thought that had something to do with the engine.
      Well, here’s to you, “Choke and Stroke”.
      To “Choke and Stroke!”
      And here’s to the old Double Deuce…

      (episode of Archer, or convo b/w BillO and Schmannity? You decide!)

      • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris

        That one was on CC yesterday!


      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Water? No, never drink the stuff. Roger Ailes fucks in it.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Aw, they don’t know what goes on here, they can’t even read English. All those dirty beaners care about is takin American jobs!

        — Hey relax Hannity. It wasn’t all that long ago that everybody hated the Irish for swarming over here in potato boats and taking all the jobs.

        Yeah, the — wait, what?

    • Conway LeBleu is the new name of my alt rock Christian Cajun band

    • chicken thief

      Vince Foster didn’t make #1? WTF’s a guy gotta do to be #1?! I mean, didn’t they kill him on the WH lawn and use a human cannon to launch his dead carcass to that national park? That’s pretty spectacular….

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Didn’t O’Liely go on vacation too?

    • katkelly57

      Yep….as did Ailes, don’t expect a postcard from him though.

      • Ferroequinologist Ron

        ‘Having a nice time, wish you were here and I wasn’t.’

  • not_vh

    i don’t care. the beer’s on me. just that this guy will not be wasting bandwidth for atleast a couple of days is cause for celebration in and by itself.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Wow, can you guys imagine if Fox became a real news network, like the Murdoch boys want? That would be so weird.

    • not_vh

      zebra lose stripes become donkey.

      • phoenix00

        > zebra lose stripes become donkey is still an ass.


  • Cranky Man

    As someone who’s been the target of a “kill shot”, fuck you Seanny. Oh, and when is that live waterboarding scheduled? Pansy ass coward.

    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      Yes, I thought the same thing. What a giggling buffoon. Weakling.

    • Miss Dill

      And a really poor choice of words considering the way Mr. Rich was murdered. I say this out of respect for the victim and family, not to be snarky. I can’t imagine doing what people like Hannity do for a living.

  • sadboy

    Dig the Prisoner reference, Dok! Looking forward to the prospect of Hannity on an island where nobody has a name and he can be chased around by a giant floating testicle all day.


      chased around by a giant floating testicle

      Roger Ailes lives on!!!1

      • Ferroequinologist Ron

        So THAT’S why it was a sort of pasty white.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Fox News staffers have told CNNMoney that they are frustrated and embarrassed by Hannity’s peddling of the conspiracy. “It is disappointing because it drags the rest of us down,” one senior Fox News employee said earlier this week.

    He drags you down by one tenth of a centimeter, Murdoch munchers.

    • chicken thief

      Like Jeffrey Dahmer drug down other mass murders like Ted Bundy – “I didn’t eat my victims goddamnit! Don’t compare me to him!!!”

  • JackLinks

    Liberal Fascism
    1)A Illogical word created by Right-Wingers in an attempt to cover-up Fascism’s Right-wing roots.

    2)Also the title of a illogical book that makes a poor attempt to connect liberalism to Fascism.

    3)A word that would make a person with the most basic knowledge of Politics laugh at you.
    Liberal Fascism is a failed attempt to demonize a ideology that Democracy was founded on.

  • whitroth

    Liberal fascism? Is this like where we say Nasty Things about you, and make rude and crude remarks, and suggest you might have done criminal things?

    Sorry, I’m more worried about Real Fascists (who, in spite of the alt-wrong, were *not* socialists, but had to be, because nobody on the right *ever* did anything wrong), who might, like, lock me up or shoot me or my kids or friends….

  • La forza del resistino

    My Dr. Evil snarky side would like to redirect Fox viewers to an Al Jazeera feed for the duration of his show.

  • mardam422

    You can’t fire me! I’m going on vacation!!!1

  • Andrew Rheinheimer

    Jonah Goldberg fans are so stupid, it’s ridiculous.

    • Gorillionaire

      In my experience, they have been genuinely too stupid to argue with.

  • Ferroequinologist Ron

    Except of course that Hannity would have blabbed EVERYTHING to Number Two, probably without prompting. In fact, they’d likely throw him out of the village because he wouldn’t shut up.

  • chicken thief

    “I’m not that type of person you can say, ‘Go on air and say this.’ ”

    Hannity said, with fingers crossed behind his back.

  • Gregory Brown

    Great Patrick McGoohan “The Prisoner” ref, Dok!

  • chicken thief

    Uh, about that headline…. gps coordinates, por favor…

  • chicken thief

    Uh, about that headline…. gps coordinates, por favor…


    Maybe Hannity is going to meet up with Trump so he can give a real tongue bath instead of his usual verbal one

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    ““There’s nothing that I did, nothing that I said, except they don’t like my position politically,” he said. “They’ll try to ratchet up the intensity of their rationale. It does not justify an attempt to get me fired. And that’s what this is. This is an attempt to take me out. This is a kill shot.”

    I don’t watch Hannity, but I wonder what Obama, Lynch, Susan Rice, and everybody else Hannity’s ever bitched about feel about this quote.
    (Has hannity ever advocated for someone he disagrees with be fired? I’m betting the nickel I have that he has).

    ETA: And he DID say and do things – i.e. put a grieving family through more grief. Lying fucker.
    Moar ETA: Also, he lied and insinuated with no evidence.

    • Dinz6315

      “Kill shot” seems a poor choice of words if you claim to care about the feelings of Seth Rich’s family. You puerile nitwit.
      Sean, not you, TX Dept.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        yeah, I was thinking that too.

    • britishvoiceman

      Don’t you just love it when right-wingers claim there’s no evidence of collusion between the Trump team and Russia, but happily repeat any ridiculous BS rumor from Alex Jones, Breitbart, etc.?

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    I think I won the O’Reilly vacation contest. I picked “Oblivion”.

  • Canis the Grey

    With all his advertisers deciding this arsehole is bad for business, just who does Hannity think he is to question the will of the free market?

  • moeman

    Is it me or does shamnitty have a really large head?

    • lastroth

      Gorky sized?

    • Marla

      It’s holster-sized

    • ThunderCat

      He’s got nothing on Mr. Balloonhead, Neil Cavuto.

      • Grokenstein

        Or that weird bulbous growth on the top of Jason Miller’s neck.

    • Dimitrios M.

      It was the end of an era, and so, he didn’t have to conserve the helium.

  • ibwilliamsi

    “Liberal Fascism”? WTF is that?

    • Marla

      It’s where Hannity thinks he can hide from a lawsuit

    • Parakeetist

      Something he pulled out of his ass.

    • JoeChristmas

      It’s like calling everybody besides Fox, “Fake News”

    • britishvoiceman

      An oxymoron, but let’s not forget that many Fox viewers think Hitler was a socialist.

  • JoeChristmas

    But Fox was cool with calling Obama a America hating Muslim Kenyan for eight years.

  • CafeenMan

    Hillary? If I might, I’d like to suggest some targets for your kill squad….

  • Nephilim

    I checked his advertisers list, and I can do without most of them. But Hulu? I got to have my Hulu. Oh well, whatever it takes to get rid of this T.V. tumor.

  • Grokenstein

    What a delusional little fartwaffle.

  • mailman27

    Loved The Prisoner.

  • tman2

    After he is fired, maybe Hannity will have time to earn a college degree.

    • phoenix00

      Maybe even a waterboarding or two? Or is that against the not-commenting rules?

    • therealcharlesdarwin

      He can spend more time looking for the whitey tape.

    • Mack N. Nietzsche

      Well, he’ll have to finish Kindergarten first.

  • i’mjustaskingthequestion

    I had no respect for this man and the views he peddles. But this…now that lack of respect had developed into a respect singularity, sucking up all the respect around it. There is a physical net loss of respect in the universe because of his existence.

    Aside from the fact that this conspiracy theory involved the death of a real live (now dead) young man. The stupidity of the story. The fact that its totally debunked, all for the purpose of duping the stupid. He knows its bullshit. He’s openly lying to the camera. All the while knowing that what he says persuades people. I’m no expert, but I think that makes him an asshole.

  • kuvasz

    I think we’ve got film of that chicken chaser.

    • Dimitrios M.

      It’s what happens after he catches that chicken that’s where it’s at. Then he gets to do what he did every day on Fux Pughs.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    Hey…what happened to the last guy from Fox who went on vacation? No, not him. The other one. It’s like there’s a pattern or something.

  • phoenix00

    Fox…. has……… advisers?

  • Somecallmetim

    Sean Hanitty was conceived when Rush Limbaugh jizz slammed into a reptile egg. I’m not making fun of Hanitty. That’s really how it happened.

    • Yellerduck

      I think I read about that on the internet!

  • Mack N. Nietzsche

    Don’t worry, Sean. Rachel Maddow will still be kicking Faux Noise around the place when you get back.

  • Kay Jay Day
  • motmelere

    Most of my hillbilly cuzin friends on FB plopped loud, all-caps growdies over the Killing of O’Reilly. Every single one of them called a time of death for Fox News with the certainty of a procedural crime drama coroner; they nailed the drama, but can’t develop a likable character beyond an apathetic Quincy. I don’t think Fox has many viewers who would storm out over Hannity so soon after that.

    • Al Swearengen

      Yep, they’re clampin’ their tricornes, cowboy hats, feed caps, and KKK hoods down tight and gettin’ ready for battle because important people are gettin’ hurt!

      Fox News hosts…

  • irishdave3

    I expert gust he has to schedule his vacays to the Bunny Ranch way a head so he can get a coupon to go along with the (lack of) size discount….

  • chezmoi

    Dang, I always read ‘Tucker’ as ‘turkey’.

    Maybe he can kick a ball around with some of his chums…

  • Magic Juan

    “Hannity Going On Vacation To Farm Where He Can Run And C̶h̶a̶s̶e̶ Fuck Chickens All Day Long”

    Fixed a typo for ya

  • Maybe

    Sigh. There is a part of me that wishes Hillary Clinton really did have death squads.

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