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Donald Trump has officially embarked on his first big overseas trip abroad as President of the USA — checking in on three major world religions. He’s starting off in Saudi Arabia by giving a speech to all the Muslims on how to better practice their faith. Then it’s off to Israel to talk about how Jared Kushner can solve all of their problems. God only knows what kind of offense he has planned for the Vatican. It seems certain that, when all is said and done, we will all intone, solemnly, That Could Have Gone Better.

In honor of Trumplethinskin’s trip, it seems fitting to feature the food of a country he is visiting. We’ve focussed on Italian food with Osso Bucca, and featured food traditionally found in a Muslim majority country with Syrian Chicken Thighs, so it seems appropriate that we look to Israel this week. And, you’re gonna like what we found. Today, we’re doing

Taste Of Home, Israeli Edition

Ketzitzot w/ Tahina Sauce (Israeli Meatballs), Turmeric Rice w/Fried Mint Leaves, Hummus Masabacha, Pita Bread and Olives. Add a salad, and you’ve got a pretty good meal!

There’s a lot to do, so let’s get to work! Hummus first, as it will only be helped by some time for the flavors to marry, then the rice, since it needs no attention while it cooks, and will be fine if it sits for a few minutes, if necessary, while we finish up the meatballs.

1) Hummus Masabacha


WHAT YOU NEED!

  • ½ pound dried chickpeas (250 g) (Or use 2 cans, if time is short)
  • 1 tablespoon baking soda
  • 7 large garlic cloves, unpeeled
  • ½ cup extra-virgin olive oil
  • ¼ teaspoon ground cumin, plus more for garnish
  • ½ cup tahini, at room temperature, be sure to stir the sesame paste thoroughly before measuring (alternate recipe below, with Ketzitzot)
  • ¼ cup, plus 1 tablespoon of fresh lemon juice
  • Salt
  • Paprika, for garnish
  • ¼ cup chopped parsley
  • Pita bread, for serving

WHAT TO DO WITH WHAT YOU NEED!

Ingredientses for Hummus

  • In a medium bowl, cover the dried chickpeas with 2 inches of water and stir in the baking soda.
  • Refrigerate the chickpeas overnight.

The preceding steps don’t apply if using canned chickpeas.

  • Drain the chickpeas and rinse them under cold water.
  • In a medium saucepan, cover the chickpeas with 2 inches of fresh water.
  • Add the garlic cloves and bring to a boil.
  • Reduce heat to medium low, simmer until the chickpeas are tender, about 40 minutes.
  • Drain, reserving 10 tablespoons of the cooking water and 2 tablespoons of the chickpeas. Rinse the chickpeas under cold water. Peel the garlic cloves.
  • In a food processor, puree the chickpeas with ½ cup of the reserved cooking water, 1/4 cup of the olive oil and 6 of the garlic cloves.
  • Add the cumin along with 1/4 cup each of the tahini and lemon juice and process until creamy.
  • Season the hummus with salt and transfer to a serving bowl.
  • Wipe out the food processor.
  • Add the remaining ¼ cup of tahini, 1/4 cup of olive oil, 2 tablespoons of reserved cooking water, 1 tablespoon of lemon juice and garlic clove and puree.
  • Using a ladle, make an indent in the center of the hummus.
  • Spoon in the tahini-lemon mixture.
  • Sprinkle the hummus with the cumin and paprika.
  • Garnish with the reserved whole chickpeas and the parsley, and serve with pita bread.

2) Turmeric Rice with fried mint leaves

Eating yellow snow: no. Yellow rice? Very yes!

WHAT YOU NEED!

  • 4 1⁄2 cups vegetable stock
  • 2 cups basmati or long grain rice
  • 1⁄4 cup olive oil
  • 1 tablespoon ground turmeric
  • 2 teaspoons ground ginger
  • 1 teaspoon salt

Fried Mint Leaves

  • 1 bunch mint leaves
  • 1 tablespoon coconut oil

WHAT TO DO WITH WHAT YOU NEED!

Not much to it, really.

  • Follow instructions for the rice you are using, substituting stock for water. When time to add rice, also add all other ingredients in list.
  • Heat the coconut oil in a small saucepan and place the mint leaves in the hot oil. Fry for 2 minutes on each side until crispy.
  • Top the turmeric rice with the fried mint leaves and serve.

3)Israeli Meatballs (Ketzitzot)

Shut. Up.

WHAT YOU NEED!

  • 1 1/2 pounds of ground Lamb or beef
  • 1 cup freshly chopped parsley
  • 1 onion, minced very fine
  • 4 large garlic cloves, minced
  • 1 large egg
  • 3-4 tablespoons bread crumbs
  • salt and ground pepper to taste
  • 1 teaspoon ground sumac berry
  • 1 teaspoon cumin
  • For tahini:

    • 1 cup tahini paste
    • 4 cloves garlic
    • 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
    • 3/4 cup water
    • 1 cup chopped parsley
    • salt to taste

    WHAT TO DO WITH WHAT YOU NEED!

    Ingredientses

  • Combine all ingredients for meatballs and then shape into oval balls.
  • Heat a few tablespoons of vegetable oil in a frying pan.
  • Fry on high until firm and golden brown. Flip frequently to cook evenly.
  • Put all the tahini ingredients except for the parsley in the food processor and process until smooth. Thin with water if necessary.
  • Add in the roughly chopped parsley after processing.
  • Plate the meatballs, then drizzle with tahini. Garnish with additional parsley.
  • This was magical. The three dishes, with olives for palate cleansing, partnered perfectly. The rice was light and bright, the fragile, flaky mint leaves adding a delightful sweetness; the Hummus bringing an earthy note, kept from being too weighty by the Tahini and copious amounts of parsley; the delicately textured Ketzitzot anchoring the plate with its rich meatiness.

    This plate is all about subtlety. While the air in the kitchen is redolent with rich spices as it cooks, the actual dishes are quite delicately flavored, encouraging the diner to savor every bite and relish the way the dishes complement one another.

    Make this. You’ll be glad you did.

    And when you’re done… please donate to your favorite ad-free, reader supported site, Wonkette!

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    • Yr. Gma

      I’ll do the meatballs, I think. Where do I get those berries?

      • DrBigHead

        Most Middle Eastern or North African groceries. Also Penzeys.

        • Yr. Gma

          Ah, yes, Penzeys.

        • The Wanderer

          Fortunately, I know where my local halal market is. I bought rose water and orange-blossom water there.

      • Amalga

        Amazon

      • Pinkham’s Law

        I went to Whole Foods. Also got the Tahini there.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      I am looking forward to his speech in Israel where he says how no one in history has been more persecuted than he has.

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      That turmeric rice with fried mint leaves sounds divine – can’t wait to try it!

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      This looks lovely, Pinks. :) I enjoy Hummus, I’ll have to try this all.

    • Amalga

      Looks gorgeous!

      • Pinkham’s Law

        For this, I’d recommend curly. You’re not choppping it very fine, so having the extra surface area to hold the tahini sauce is a good thing.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      This looks amazing. I’m gonna start soaking those chickpeas right now.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      I’d be very happy if someone cooked this for me.

      • Shanzgood

        I’d like someone to FEED it to me.

        Guh!

    • Ezio

      Olive olives.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      “God only knows what kind of offense he has planned for the Vatican” I bet it has something to do with love for the underaged.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Where the silk road hit the Mediterranean they’re going to have awesome food. It’s a thing.

      So, say I decide to go with canned chick peas (because I’m a leguminous monster or something). How do I prep the garlic?

    • Bill D. Burger

      Someone once asked Joan Rivers if, as a Jewish mother, she was a good cook. Her response, typical Joan: “If I didn’t sleep walk, I would never have found the kitchen in our house. Woke up in a strange and terrifying place. Screamed, ‘Edgar!!!!’ ___ He came running and said, ‘Calm down honey. It’s just our kitchen.’ ”

      http://www.azquotes.com/picture-quotes/quote-i-m-no-cook-when-i-want-lemon-on-chicken-i-spray-it-with-pledge-joan-rivers-55-73-45.jpg

      • Ezio

        I always confuse pledge with pine sol.

        • calliecallie

          I confuse pine sol with retsina.

    • Doug Langley

      One question: they have coconuts in Israel?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Why wouldn’t they?

        • Doug Langley

          Can’t argue with logic.

          • LucindathePook

            You could, but you’d have to be a Republican.

        • Doug Langley

          Anyway, I always understood coconuts growing in Philippines and such. Never thought they were common in the Middle East.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Well Israel has a mediterranean climate in the west so they should be able to grow them.

      • DainBramage
      • WomanInThePersistence

        African swallows, perhaps?

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          With Trump bowing to the Saudi king I have seen enough swallowing for today.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Ftw. My innocent brain was simply thinking about The Holy Grail.

            • Robbertjan Brandenburg

              I can turn anything dirty. Or revolting as in this particular case.

    • Rick Hill

      So…got to bring a trump to a cooking post, eh? Makes me wonder, though. Which country will have the chef which loses his shit and tries to filet trump because trump smothered his plate in ketchup?

      • WomanInThePersistence

        My money would be on Italy.

        • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

          Never count out the French

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I never do. But I don’t think France is on this itinerary. Lucky France.

          • Gregory Brown

            The French may be more verbally demonstrative, but the Italians will act out. With kitchen “tools.”

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          Given that the ex, on a trip to Italy, once witnessed his friend’s uncle throw an entire plate of pasta against the kitchen wall because it “sounded” underdone, and no one in the family thought that was really extreme…you could be right.

      • Shanzgood

        My mom.

    • Yum.

    • BosGrl

      YUM! This looks so good. I can’t wait to try this.

      • Shanzgood

        I’m too intimidated to even try!

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Don’t be. Hummus is easy-peasy with a blender. Meatballs are simply meatloaf in small, fried form (which you probably knew already), and it’s simply rice with stuff in it.

          • Shanzgood

            hmmmm…maybe

            • WomanInThePersistence

              You can do this. Fuck it, you raised kids, right? This is much easier.

            • kareemachan

              Honestly, if you’ve raised kids, you can do ANYTHING.

              (spoken from experience)

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Trust me, Shanz – nothing difficult to it, really. It only took me about 2 1/2 hours, start to finish, and that includes staging the pics of ingredients.

          Start with the hummus. While it’s simmering, make the tahini sauce and prep the meatballs. When you take the chickpeas off, start the rice. When you’re done processing the hummus, fry the mint leaves & set on paper towel to absorb the oil. The meatballs only take about 15 minutes to cook, and the rice will stay hot plenty long enough if it’s done before the meatballs.

          Do it in that order and keep moving, and you can have this on the table in an hour.

          • Shanzgood

            Oh! Maybe baconz and I can do this together! I need adult supervision in the kitchen. Or at least some friendly company.

            • Pinkham’s Law

              Ok. If you really aren’t good at staying organized in the kitchen, make the hummus, start to finish, before even thinking about the other dishes. It’s perfectly fine at room temp, and it won’t hurt it a bit to sit while you make the other stuff. Then, prep your meatballs before you start the rice – that way, you don’t have to worry about how long prepping them takes.

            • Shanzgood

              I have to measure everything out into little bowls beforehand and do everything step by step. It’s not disorganization that’s the problem, it’s lack of confidence.

            • WomanInThePersistence

              Shan, you can do this. You are a smart person, and although I understand that it’s scary doing something a little out of your wheelhouse, you will be so pleased by the results. Hummus is easy. Really.

            • Shanzgood

              It’s not the hummus, I’ve made that before. It’s all so…creative looking or something. Like a form of art. I’m only creative with music.

              Never mind. I’m just being whiny this afternoon.

            • Gregory Brown

              What you just described is called preparing your (what the French call) mise en place, meaning “putting in place” or mise for short. I cooked professionally and have cooked for my family and myself for nearly 40 years, and I make sure, especially with new recipes, that my mise is ready before I start cooking. You’re doing it right, my dear.

            • kareemachan

              Lulz – I commented before reading yours. Maybe we were separated at birth. I’m still not sure how I ended up being a biologist instead of a chef, although being a marine biologist meant I often had access to wonderful seafood….

            • Gregory Brown

              I’ve spent the bulk of my existence as a newspaperman who can really cook. My most poignant seafood story is from my last day on tour in Peru. We went to a giant modern mall/open air market in Lima, where the markets were divided by food, for fruits, vegetables, etc. As you may suppose, lots of things on offer there are never to be found in your U.S. grocery store. Well, the seafood market was about a half acre under roof, open air, and damn, you would not … OK … you would probably believe all the stuff they had there, but my God, so fresh. I only found one bin of fish where the eyes were not bright and full. I just wanted to go from table to table, grabbing a bit of this, of that, and make the craziest bouillabaisse ever. And then came the call that we had to get back on the bus and go to the airport. I had to tear myself away.

            • kareemachan

              WANT TO DO!!!! And I would be trying everybody’s ceviche as well.

              One of my fondest memories is when I was a foreign fisheries observer for NMFS (probably not around now cuz of the drumpster, and who cares which countries fish in our waters…). I was on three different Japanese fishing vessels, and the food was to die for. OMG, the fish, the sushi, the EVERYTHING. They realized I liked Japanese food, so they would make every dish they could think of for me. Aside from giving me Japanese porn magazines, they were very polite (I was the only woman on a ship with about 300 men) and friendly.

              Although I couldn’t get my interpreter to pronounce ‘desert’ and ‘dessert’ correctly, and my Japanese was (I’m sure) atrocious.

            • Gregory Brown

              Ceviche. Our Argentine-born OB-GYN doc, who delivered our two boys, introduced me to ceviche. Wonderful. You got the royal treatment on the Japanese fishing boat. Years ago my brother took me to a sushi restaurant when I visited him in California. You paid a fee, and they put you on the clock and you just pointed at what you wanted and they would prepare it for you until time was up. I think it was 20 minutes. The chefs were cool guys and we started buying them sake whenever we replenished ours. They responded by giving us about 15 more minutes of free sushi time.

            • kareemachan

              I love where I live, but I don’t have restaurant opportunities like this very often.

              O/T, but (to me) amusing, when I stayed with friends in Japan (Fujisawa), I made some sushi, seeing as how the fish was so AMAZING there. I couldn’t find (or maybe pronounce?) mirin. We went to the local grocery store (everything is wrapped in cellophane, btw) and couldn’t find mirin. Asked about it and got a blank stare. Also, at the fish market, they kept correcting my pronunciation of “hamachi” as “hamaji”. Either I’m very crappy at Japanese pronunciation (likely) or they are messing with me or people are not letting me know about local pronunciation…

            • Gregory Brown

              Japanese is not known as an easy language to learn. Just thank the lord you haven’t had to learn English from scratch. In the animal shelter of human languages, ours is the most mixed of mixed breed mutts. We incorporate Latin, French, Italian, Indonesian, Chinese, Mandalay, Old West Germanic, Indian, African, American Indian, Nordic, you name it, we have words and phrases from around the globe, and we absorb more every day. We have many rules, except when we don’t, which is often, or when we switch to different rules in midstream for spelling, pronunciation, etc. (Latin etcetera). It is the goulash of languages. And I do love it so.

            • kareemachan

              ETA: [drool]

            • kareemachan

              Have you been watching Food Network? They always din into people’s heads the “mise en place” thing. Which is not a bad thing.

              But experiment! Even if it’s not perfect, you can usually find people VERY willing to eat stuff if they do not have to make it. My SO used to take our leftovers to work where they were devoured. He got a LOT of brownie points for that… ;-)

            • Gregory Brown

              True enough. For Shan, I’d say that a mise is essential. To know what you need visible, and to have it in easy reach is the key for the diffident cook.

            • kareemachan

              Totally.

    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      MAKE it? I can’t even PRONOUNCE it.

    • The Wanderer

      Oy, this sounds tasty, so I may have to try it.

    • HazooToo

      I made a soup this week that was spectacular. Needed a few tweaks because the produce we got was HUGE, but not much! It was a Brazilian fish stew, but Dad and I don’t like cod and the kid doesn’t like shrimp, so we used salmon instead.

      5 5oz portions of salmon without skin get cut into big chunks and go in a bowl with the juice from 2 limes, and 1/2 a Tbsp of minced garlic. Salt n pepper that, and toss to coat, then set aside to soak in. 2 red bell peppers get cut into thin strips, and 3 tomatoes get quartered. Take a half a bunch of cilantro and pluck off the leaves. Roughly chop the leaves, finely chop the stems. Using a deep fucking pan, heat 3 Tbsp of olive oil, and then saute 1 diced onion for 3 mins. Add the peppers and another 1/2 Tbsp of garlic, and cook til the peppers are tender. Add the tomatoes, cilantro stems, and 1/2 cup of chicken broth (possibly more if your shit is huge) and bring it to a boil, cook til the tomatoes are soft. Add 1 cup of coconut milk (more if your shit is huge), bring it to a boil stirring occasionally, salt n pepper it. Then reduce the heat to low and add the fish and all it’s garlic and juices to the pot, cover it with a lid, and cook it til the fish is done. Serve it over rice, with the cilantro leaves and extra lime wedges!

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Sounds great!

      • kareemachan

        I’d eat this as well, and will save the recipe. We have a local fisherman who sells his fish (he fishes in AK and the fish is frozen and vacuum-packed) from his boat at the local dock. I just bought a 6-month supply of salmon, cod, and a side of smoked salmon.

        Brazilian fish soup, here I come!!

        • HazooToo

          Oooooooooohhhh, I wish I had a source like yours!

          • kareemachan

            It’s one of the things I am TRULY grateful for. It’s not cheap, but I know the quality is divine. They’ll come back around in November, and then they’ll have shrimp, octopi, ling cod, scallops, and black cod. I have to restrain myself when I am standing there on the dock waiting my turn. I’ve also brought them Irish coffees before – they have to climb down into their freezer to get the fish which is at-30 degrees!

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I make my own hummus! I’ll have to try some of the variations from Pinkham’s recipe.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Same here, except lately I’ve been very lazy and using the Bush’s Beans packets. It’s like instant hummus!

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Do they have ketchup for that? Asking for somebody I know who is visiting there in a couple of days.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        No. No, they don’t You heathen!

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Have any of you had Koshari, the delicious Egyptian street food? Here’s my recipe, straight from a real Egyptian cook, but slightly modified for working Americans with limited time. You can prepare the two sauces ahead of time and re-heat, then the pilaf takes only about 25 minutes. This recipe is not gluten free or vegetarian.

      Koshari (Egypt)
      Pilaf:
      1 Family Size box chicken flavor Rice-A-Roni
      2-¼ cups Chicken broth or chicken bouillon
      1 can cooked lentils
      1 can cooked chick peas
      Garnish:
      2 onions, slivered
      2 to 4 tbsp. olive oil
      Spicy Tomato Sauce:
      1 small onion, chopped
      2 tbsp. olive oil
      1 clove garlic, minced
      1 can 0 4-16 oz.) whole tomatoes
      1 tsp. wine vinegar (optional)
      ½ tsp. cumin
      ½ tsp. cardamom
      ½ tsp. coriander
      salt
      Green Chili Vinaigrette
      3 cloves garlic, crushed with salt
      1/4 tsp. cumin
      1/3 cup wine vinegar
      ½ cup olive oil
      2 serrano chilis, seeded and minced

      1. Prepare a box of Rice-A-Roni (Chicken flavor) according to box instructions, but use Chicken broth or bouillon instead of water. Add cooked lentils and cooked chick peas as soon as Rice-A-Roni begins to simmer.

      2. Meanwhile, slowly cook the slivered onions for the garnish in the 2-4 tbsp. olive oil until dark golden brown and crisp. Remove from the heat and set aside.

      3. For the Spicy Tomato Sauce, lightly saute the chopped onion in 2 tbsp. olive oil. Add the garlic and cook for another minute. Whirl the tomatoes and vinegar in a blender or food processor and add to the garlic and onions. Stir to mix well, add spices, season to taste with salt, and simmer covered, 10-15 minutes.

      4. Combine the vinaigrette ingredients. If using a blender, blend for only a few second on low speed, or it will emulsify.

      5. To serve, mound the pilaf on a large round platter and top with the crisped onions with their olive oil. Transfer the tomato sauce and the green chili vinaigrette to small bowls, to be spooned over each dish of pilaf as desired. Serve warm.

      Serves 2 hungry people or 3 moderate eaters.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e24335934523d04608a2f0831bcfa93fa2f28d31f20a87de5769bdbdacd03338.jpg

      • kareemachan

        Oh yeah, I’d eat this too. I heart food!

        • Angela Ruzzo

          It is so delicious I can’t even. I make my own sauces and can them because they take a lot of time. Nowadays I can’t use Rice-A-Roni because I’m gluten intolerant, but I found the pearl rice and use gluten-free elbow macaroni. Yummmm!!!!! Watch out for the green chili sauce, it adds a real bite. Double yummmmm!!!!

          BTW this dish is EXTREMELY healthy.

          • kareemachan

            I think we were separated at birth. I do my own sauces and either can or freeze them. And preserves. There are only the two of us at home now, so I am a frustrated cook in some ways. I can’t make a batch of soup or stew without having tons left over. Thank Cthulhu for freezers!

            O/T: Our high school’s Spanish class raised money and visited Cuba over spring break. They put on a Cuban dinner as part of the money-raising that was wonderful! I’m going to have to find recipes for some of the dishes they served.

            • Angela Ruzzo

              Hi Sister! You might enjoy this book, which is out of print.
              https://www.amazon.com/Arabian-Delights-Cookbook-Mediterranean-Marrakesh/dp/156565126X

              My mother made her own spaghetti sauce according to my grandmother’s recipe. I started canning it 20 years ago. It makes life so simple. Do you want her recipe? Here it is:

              Angelina’s Spaghetti Sauce
              1 6-oz can tomato paste
              1 cup water (variable by brand of paste, some are thicker than others, I use the tomato paste can to measure – 1 can of water plus 1/4-1/2 can water)
              1 level tsp. salt (to taste, start with a little less, you can always add more)
              ½ tsp pepper
              1 rounded tsp. oregano (to taste)
              1 rounded tsp. dried mint (to taste)
              1 rounded tsp. powdered or minced garlic (to taste)

              Add tomato paste to saucepan over low heat. Add water and stir until smooth. (Sauce should run from a spoon in smooth continuous clumps, should not be too watery.) Add spices and stir until smooth. Simmer on low heat for 15-30 minutes. Longer time gives deeper flavor.
              This gives enough sauce for two average Americans or one hungry Italian. For a family of 4 use a 12-oz can of paste and double the other ingredients. Spice amounts are estimates – experiment to taste.

              If you want the large-quantity canning measurements I will post them.

            • kareemachan

              I know this book. I LOVE this book. I used to work at Powell’s Bookstore in Portland, OR in the cookbook section. Employees got GREAT discounts on buying stuff there, and I have over 500 cookbooks. When we moved, I immediately started volunteering in the school library just to be near books.

              Yes, I’m a bibliophile. More like a bibliomaniac!

            • Angela Ruzzo

              I’m a bibliophile too. I’m glad you like this cookbook. I’m acquainted with the author, I will tell her how much you like it and she will be very pleased. We used to live near each other, and I got to test some of her recipes, which is a job I wish I could do every day! Do you have her first cookbook as well?
              https://www.amazon.com/Arabian-Cuisine-Anne-Mrie-Weiss-Armush/dp/0866854568

            • kareemachan

              Dang, I’ve missed that one somehow. But please tell your friend that I love her other book. I wish I had or was a cookbook tester!

              ;-)

            • Angela Ruzzo

              That would be a great job! However, there was one recipe in the first cookbook involving cow’s udders which I refused to test. I can’t bring myself to eat mammary glands.

    • calliecallie

      Ground sumac berry? Is there a suitable substitute for that?

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Sumac has a sour flavor. Perhaps a splash of lime juice.

        • I think lemon is probably closer, but yeah.

      • kareemachan

        Sumac is wonderful. I use it in a Greek-type salad – toss the feta with it and let sit a while. I ended up getting mine online, as we don’t have any kind of ethnic stores anywhere near us. :-(

      • Mahousu

        Amazon has it, if you want to make Jeff Bezos happy.

        • Zyxomma

          Bezos is too happy already.

      • Left Coast Tom

        I thought you lived in Michigan…the state is practically swimming in the non-poisonous variety of sumac.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Canned clams?

        • calliecallie

          You Monster!

    • calliecallie

      This looks extremely tasty. Maybe next weekend. Too late for today’s meal, which is already in the works. Marinated chicken on the grill with herb potato salad and maybe grilled onions for a vegetable because I haven’t been grocery shopping in a while.

      • kareemachan

        We’re having grilled teriyaki pork kebabs with onion and peppers, rice on the side, and maybe some sort of carrot salad cuz we have lots of carrots.

    • Rick Hill
      • H0mer0

        is this the business model for harvesting the main ingredient for soylent green?

    • Courser_Resistance

      Oh thanks, Pinkham! Perfect for summer, too!

    • kareemachan

      WOULD EAT!!!

      One thought, tho: use fresh grated ginger instead of powdered crap. Much better tasting.

      • Gregory Brown

        Ground ginger is completely different from fresh, and has its own uses. If Pinkham says ground, I’d use ground. First rule of cooking: follow the frickin’ recipe, at least the first time.

        • kareemachan

          True nuff. But I’d still probably reach for the gingerroot anyway. I keep mine in sake in the fridge. Stays good forever.

          • Gregory Brown

            Heathen. Nice tip on the sake though.

            • kareemachan

              ;-)

    • Pre-existing Ugly Dude

      The president would like to know the difference between a garbanzo and a chick pea.

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        Garbanzo is a character on the Muppets and it’s spelled, “chick pee”.

        • kareemachan

          [rimshot]

    • kareemachan

      May I suggest the perfect accompaniment for this feast? Pita bread! My recipe is straight out of a cookbook called ‘The Portable Feast’ by Diane McMillan. Also, I use a bread machine to do the mixing and kneading cuz I’m lazy, but never, ever bake bread in it. I have an old Dak machine that looks just like R2-D2….

      Pita Bread

      3-5 C flour (I use unbleached)
      1.5 t sugar
      2 t salt
      2 packets yeast
      2.5 C warm water
      3 T olive oil
      additional flour if needed

      Mix 2 cups flour with sugar, salt, and yeast. Add water and mix til incorporated. Add oil and mix. Add more flour until you get a soft dough; knead 8-10 minutes til smooth and elastic (classic baby’s bottom feel to it). Place in greased bowl, cover, and let rise til doubled. Punch down, turn out on floured surface and let rest 1/2 hour. Roll into a log and cut into 16 pieces. Roll each piece into a circle about 5-6″ in diameter and about 1/4″ thick. Let sit for 1 hr. Heat oven to 450 d. Either put pitas (four at a time) on foil in heated oven and bake about 5 min. They will puff up beautifully – and deflate when you take them out of the oven. OR you can put them directly on a pizza stone (I have a rectangular one which lives in the oven all the time) and bake them about 5 min.

      I’ve made these for (oy vey!) about 40 years now. The dough is amazingly flexible to work with. I’ve baked the pitas without the last hour-long rest – they did their pita thing. I’ve put the dough in the fridge and baked them the next day (after letting it come to room temp) – it worked. Really easy and impressive to serve to guests!

      • Zyxomma

        I buy yeast in bulk. What’s the net weight of 2 packets? TY

        • kareemachan

          I use 1 tablespoon/packet. I also buy yeast in bulk – much cheaper that way.

          O/T: Roger Moore died. I haz the sads.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Poor (lazy) man’s hummus:

      1 can chickpeas, liquid and all, into a Magic Bullet
      Some garlic powder
      A couple of tablespoons of sesame oil
      Blend the fuck out of it
      Eat it

      • eyelashviper

        Or, shop at Trader Joe’s..they gozt some fine hummus, and it’s cheap, also too.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I want to eat all of this right now

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Say that 5 hours ago when you should have started, slacker.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Now that I have the recipe…

    • Panika MCD

      Pinkham, can you just freeze dry meals and mail them to me? I’m never going to be able to cook at this rate.

      waiting on the Budget Conference Committee to come in and say, “yay! we did it!” and, hopefully, “FUCK ABBOTT AND PATRICK! WE WILL BE ADDING A BILLION TO HEALTHCARE AND EDUCATION EACH!”

      $5 says that the reason they are not in the room when they were supposed to start at 4 pm is that Schwernter, despite being an IRL doctor person, still has a massive burr up his butt about LoneStar Rail.

      • kareemachan

        Hey, there’s Blue Apron and the rest of those businesses. Why not… uh, “Pinkham’s Pantry” or something like that? I’d go for it!

        • SeeTrain65

          He could do exactly the same as Blue Apron does, too.

          Charge $70 for $20 worth of ingredients and postage.

          • kareemachan

            Personally, I’d never buy one of those “kits”. Made where? Shipped when? NO WAY.

            But I’d make an exception for Piinkham’s Pantry. ;-)

    • VirginiaLady

      I’ll be thinking about this when I eat my refrigerator hummus and cherry tomatoes.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      I substituted everything for Ale Asylum ™ beer. Five stars! Would do again!

    • Edith Prickly

      God I want some hummus right now.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Yum! Hummus from dried chickspeas is so much tastier. I want to make all of this. Or better, i want Pinkham to come over and do it for me.

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      By the way if you can swing it, Sumac is amazing addition to Hummus

      https://www.thespicehouse.com/sumac

      • eyelashviper

        Thanks for this link, it is a great resource for spices, peppercorns, etc.

    • capnkrunch

      I just got back from vacation in Israel a couple weeks ago. These were all thing I ate there.

      Today for lunch I got a chicken tikka wrap and homemade hummus and pita from a halal place that just opened down the street. Thursday I had pho tai nam from a Vietnamese place. The staff at both places were great as well.

    • Serai 1

      By the way, your hummus will be much smoother if you peel the chickpeas. You can do this after they’ve soaked and drained, by putting them in a colander with a plate over it (or two bowls) and shaking the garbanzos vigorously. The skins will fall off, and your hummus will be less grainy. :)

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Thanks for the tip. I’ll try to remember it, because this WILL get made again!

      • notanncoulter

        i do this by hand. it’s tedious and aggravating but i hate those thin skins. i will have to try this. i usually just put them in a bowl of water and rub on them a few at a time anad transfer to another bowl. thanks!

        • Serai 1

          It’s the same technique some people use to peel garlic.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Great ones Pink! You do fine kitchen!

    • BetsyBleedingheart

      My family is Israeli but I’m American. I hated Israeli food until I was well into my 20s and I’m so sad about it now. I’ve missed out on so much good hummus.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Seven hours, and nobody’s said anything about balls covered in dollops of white sauce? Really, Wonkette? REALLY? I’m not even mad. I’m just disappointed.

    • Jeff Mc Donald

      Finally something on the intertubes that isn’t pressed into a patty and covered in bacon! I will try this since I am a non-pig eating person. I know. They’ll just have to track me down with their super double secret spyware when they want to deport me.

    • Zyxomma

      I make chick peas frequently, and often use them for hummus. I make turmeric rice using sprouted brown rice. I don’t eat meat or eggs, so no ketzirot for me. Vegan cooking tip: NEVER discard the chick pea cooking liquid. It’s called aquafaba with the garlic flavor you can use it to make a creamy delicious mayonnaise substitute), and its uses are legion. I’m making some today (no garlic cloves, however) and using the aquafaba to make baked meringues, which I haven’t had in more than three decades. There’s a recipe in NY Times’ dining section, if you’re curious.

    • SisterArtemis

      WHAT?!?
      No recommended drinking?
      Also, no real possible Spam substitutes, and btw, Pinkham, this sounds delicious.

      • SisterArtemis

        Also, too, SUMAC BERRY? JEEZUS! Ok, might have to substitute freeze dried ground SPAM paste!

    • Cliff Hendroval

      Meh. I’ve always thought that human civilization spread out from the middle east in search of better tasting local food.

      • kareemachan

        Sorry you have no taste buds. Truly.

        • Gregory Brown

          I used to work for a Polish banquet hall that was later sold to some Lebanese people. There was a wonderful, authentic Lebanese deli in town, maybe part of the same family, and they brought in EVERYTHING one New Year’s Eve for the Hafli celebration. I got to knosh on it all as the head cook and I just stood there and dished it up all night. To die for.

          • kareemachan

            [drool]

            • Gregory Brown

              Oh yeah, from the tabouleh, to the meat pies, spinach pies, hummus, dolmah, you name it. About the only thing I didn’t try was the kibbeh, but I’m sure that was amazing as well. The pies were wrapped in filo, so light and flaky. I tried to have some of the same dishes here in town at a well known middle eastern place, but they didn’t come close, except the tabouleh. Middle Eastern food is the only food I would accept mint in, because they know how to make it work. But the lemon, the olive oil, the fresh flavors. Dammit, now I’m drooling and I just had dinner.

    • William
      • Gregory Brown

        Yum! Poodles with Noodles!

    • catsigh

      Looks like Arab food to me.

      • Werewolf

        Yeah, because Jews have only been in the Middle East for three millennia or so.

        • kareemachan

          And Arabs have been there much, much longer.

          • Werewolf

            Umm, there were no Arabs outside of *Arabia* except for a few nomads until the 7th century. Jews are native to “Palestine”-which was not called that until the 2nd century CE, when the Romans renamed Judea. Jews lived in all countries in the Middle East until they were ethnically cleansed in the Forties and Fifties.

            • catsigh

              They’re still trying to ethnically cleanse Arabs from Palestine. And Jews adopt the foods of wherever they live — in this case, a colonized Arab country.

            • kareemachan

              Umm, citation? Cuz this sounds like bullshit to me.

        • catsigh

          Actually as demonstrated by the fact that these dishes are ancient traditional foods served in all Arab and Middle Eastern countries, and well before Palestine was colonized by the West to create nation state known as Israel fewer than 100 years ago.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Ketzitzot w/ Tahina Sauce, Hummus, Pita Bread and Olives.

      Where I live, as American as penne, tacos or dim sum. As far as I am concerned, America is pretty fuking great. Too bad no one told President Dumbfuck.

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