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Donna Rose writes you the news!

HELLO AND GOOD MORNING! Evan has the day “off,” so this post was wrote by me, your Editrix! And since it is my husband Shypixel’s forty-fifth birthday, and he expects me to cook “food” for a “party” and probably also a “birthday” “blowie,” we shall make this fucker SHORT AND SWEET!

Here are your top ten stories of the week as chosen by GOD.

1. James Comey Kept A Motherfucking Paper Trail On Trump Because COMEY. IS. A. MOTHERFUCKING. BEAST. Y’all liked this one A LOT. As you should have.

2. Noted Adulterers The Gingriches Sent To Vatican In Diplomatic Move Of The Century. It’s your move, Nice Pope!

3. THIS IS FUCKIN’ BAD Y’ALL. Oh, our innocent yesterday, when it was just Trump telling the Russians secret intel in the Oval Office!

4. FUCK YOU PAUL RYAN, FUCK YOU IN THE BOTTOM WITH A RUSSIAN NESTING DOLL. Oh, our innocent yesterday, when it was just Paul Ryan dicking around on tape swearing the GOP to secrecy about whether or not Trump was on Putin’s literal payroll!

5. Hillary Clinton Re-Murdered DNC Staffer All Over Again Because Wikileaks. Obviously. Sorry, Seth Rich’s family, that Fox CONTINUES to repeat this bullshit even now.

6. Trump Hires Pre-Cog Sheriff David Clarke To Arrest Whole Country For Future Crimes. The Department of Homeland Security says it’s not official till they announce it. So here’s hoping!

7. USDA’s New Top Researcher Is A Godfearing Patriot, Which Is Way Better Than A Scientist. Five Dollar Feminist has the scoop, and it is TERRIBLE.

8. Marco Rubio’s Twitter Getting All DaVinci Code Secret Bible Messages And Shit. Killermartinis dived into this stupid shit. It was stupid. And shit!

9. Missouri GOPers Thrilled To Bless St. Louis With A Lower Minimum Wage. Robyn got this one. Prepare to be pissed!

10. Andy Lack Wants To Make MSNBC Great Again (By Losing Like A Common Trump). As far as we know, MSNBC STILL has not reupped Lawrence O’Donnell’s contract, because the MSNBC dick wants to keep DONALD TRUMP happy???? With Trump’s 38 percent approval rating, that just makes all the sense!

Now it is Robyn’s turn to do “work” for you, because you may have noticed we were able to hire for her weekends, with help from VIEWERS LIKE YOU!

You are good; you may have baby pictures.

And an OLD ONE TO GROW ON!

She’s thirsty too, Daddy!
$
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  • Msgr_MΩment

    She’s thirsty too, Daddy!

    “You’re drinking from the wrong end of the nipple-glass, Pops!”

  • Parakeetist

    Babby so sweet.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Donna Rose has the Best Smile. :)

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      She’s a little bright spot in the world.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Well put. :)

  • dslindc

    Happy Birthday, Shypixel!

  • Red Bird Ω

    I’m at the mall waiting for the stores to open. I forgot how malls work.
    Happy birthday to Mr. Wonkette Shypixel.
    I’m as old as you are also too.

  • Me not sure

    Jesus! How early is it? No Evan? Rebecca? I’m dizzy with the head spins and I’m going back to bed. Let me know when the Saudis threaten to behead someone.

    • puredog

      Let me know when they HAVE beheaded someone, and not just anyone.

  • Carole

    11. Judicial Watch: Because No One* is Above the Law!!!

    *except Republicans

  • Carole

    Omigawd, she’s CUTE!

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Friendly and adventurous, too!

  • UnsaltedSinner

    No baby, no baby. You’re the baby!

    She’s a lady now.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Happy birthday Wonkette’s first husband.

    As for the Mrs Newty Toot. I think it is pretty hilarious that she’s given a mostly irrelevant diplomatic post and not him.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Has he persuaded Trump to get her out of the way while he lines up the next Mrs Gingrich?

    • anon_the_great

      With a billion plus Catholics in the world, Mrs. Gingrich’s fat, stupid husband could fuck shit up real good.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      I’m sure that way he can keep collecting his lobbyist and consultant fees.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Hmmm….seems like birthday celebrations have changed since the last time I was around a girl for one of mine.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Happy Birthday, Shy! have a drink or ten on me.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    So, wait, MSGOP can dedicate prime time hours to a debate between that guy who lost decisively in his party’s primaries and couldn’t quite bring himself to support Trump’s opponent and that other guy who lost decisively in his party’s primaries and couldn’t quite bring himself to support Trump’s opponent, but they’re bumping Joy for a soccer match?

  • Gayer Than Thou

    ¡Hola! Saludos de España, where I am, where we drink in the afternoon every day
    and don’t apologize for it and since I hardly speak whatever language it is
    they speak here, I hardly hear the word “Trump” ever. It is a slice of heaven.

    • UnsaltedSinner
    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Enjoy. It’s a nice place. My Spanish friends are livid with what they consider their own clusterfuck with so many elections and interim prime ministers and whatnot. I keep telling them to be grateful they don’t fucking live here.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      I believe that the Spanish for Trump is hijo de puta.

      • TJ Barke

        I thought is was pinche pendejo

        • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

          That’s in Mexico.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            That mestizo blood screws up everything.

          • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

            Still works.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            “Most people don’t even know they speak Spanish in the Mexico. Right? Does anyone know? A lot of people don’t know that. We have to build that up a little more.”

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            “Have you heard the phrase pinche pendejo? I just came up with that.”

          • Msgr_MΩment

            I thought Cagaleche pendejo was the term of choice.

          • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

            I know people who speak Spanish in Mexico. Good people; the best people and they love me. They tell me that all the time. You know, people who speak Spanish in Mexico are getting recognized more and more. Everybody knows that, believe me. They’re doing a great job; great job, folks. I know a good job when I see one. Nobody knows about doing a good job better than me. Believe me.

          • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

            Bofo is also acceptable. And easier to pronounce

    • nightmoth

      Nice! Enjoy it for all of us stuck in Trumpanistan.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Wondering where you’ve been. Thanks for stopping by to gloat.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      If you’re in Madrid or are going to be, three words: Chocolateria San Gines.
      The Prado? Fuck that. You need chocolate and churros.
      You’ll thank me later.

    • Paul

      Is this a working vacation? Are you coaching Spanish college wrestlers?

      Hope you are having a blast. Sounds it. Lucky you.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I can’t get the full picture. Which one of these bullet points did the Donald already fuck up?

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Thumbs-up on the escalator ride.

        • TJ Barke

          Moron…

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Thank Allah it wasn’t “tight clothing.”

          • puredog

            Avoiding tight clothing is becoming increasingly difficult for him.

        • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend

          You know he’s been staring at the women, too.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Here in the U.S., Drumpf can’t manage the single bullet point “•STFU” … so you just know he’s going to be a disaster overseas.
      Like NATO, foreign leaders are probably making allowances, the main one being “Pay no attention to what the idiot says; Jared will explain it later.”

    • Msgr_MΩment
    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Well at least he doesn’t have to worry about offending them with his treatment of women. He already treats Melania like a 2nd class citizen and an object.

      • Amy!

        She and Ivanka are not wearing even token hair-cover. This is prolly because doing so would offend his base, but it’s going to offend his hosts.

        • Everrett Fanuelli

          To be fair neither did Michelle Obama to which Trump lambasted he for it on the Tweeters

          • Shanzgood

            Sometimes she did, sometimes not. Same with HRC.

          • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

            Well, Michelle is black so, y’know…

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Ivanka’s a feminist, remember!

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Surprised Vank Vank is not going to showcase her exquisite line of scarfs…

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            The Saudis are always impressed with clever ways of joining timbers together. *lame woodworker joke*https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/76e72a1b29ee65ee1481c5279fff7b0719e7b997978a144e4caef5df8dc5103b.jpg

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      This is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good this is not good ….

    • “Don’t show affection to the opposite sex in public.”

      I assume they mean to women besides Melania, because there’s no chance of that happening with her.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Shy, your Sysiphus-ian struggles with the HTML are appreciated. Happy Birthday!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/32913e1c6d2c34924c9febb6b4d4bd455b57f0fc804d7eaad65bbde2aac067cc.jpg

  • Thaumaturgist

    God done a good job choosing the top ten.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      I thought that was Beyonce’s job. Did she delegate it this week?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        She got the day off, along with Evan.

      • Aren’t they the same being?

        • SterWonk

          Whoa! Come to think of it, I’ve never seen them at the same time…

  • Bad Scooter

    Haaaaaaaaappy Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirthdaaaaaay Dear Shypixel,
    Haaaaaaappy Biiiirthdaaaaaay Tooooooooo Yooooooooouuu!!!

  • Marceline

    Give him the blowie. He’s earned it.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Happy birthday, Shy! The best news this morning is that Hassan Rouhani got re-elected, so Iran is at least not sliding back into more isolationism/fundamentalism than its government already has.

    • puredog

      That is good news. Maybe it will help prevent a US-Iran war.

  • Finnabar87

    Happy b day to Shypixel!

    B stands for blowjob, right?

    • Finnabar87

      I might have been celebrating birthdays all wrong, I fear.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall
    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Tell me that’s not real.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        It’s not. That was his plane during the campaign.

        • SayItWithWookies

          You can tell because Air Force One’s steps have “President Trump” on each riser.

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            lol

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I didn’t care, frankly – like most other things these days, it’s nearly impossible to tell the improbable from the likely when it comes to Cheeto Benito.

    • TJ Barke
    • Finnabar87

      Trump is a scared of stairs; seeing his name on them enables him to waddle up those fearsome fuckers.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        It’s the same strategery his aides have to use to get him to read important briefings. If they don’t salt “Trump” frequently throughout the text, he stops reading it. I wish I was making this up.

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      How does he not feel that wedgie?

      • Shanzgood

        The diaper.

        • SeekingResistanceBarbie

          It’s another example of how we know he’s a cheapskate: a good tailor would cut to allow for the diaper.

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • TJ Barke

      Cuz no democrats! No vaginas!

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Also, not a black guy.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I think lobotomies for all GOP should be part of the Senate AHCA bill.

      • TJ Barke

        How would you be able to tell pre and post?

        • Ghenghis McCann

          The scars?

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Irrelevant, and bigoted, but….

          There once was an Ontarian who’s life long dream it was to be a Newfie. One day, the man finally got the guts to go and see his doctor about it. The doctor examined him and gave him the prognosis, “Well, if you really want to be a Newfie there is a surgery I can perform, but I have to remove 1/3 of your brain.” The Ontarian was so excited, he agreed to do it right away.

          During the surgery however, the doctor’s hand slipped. The doctor was so upset that he sat next to the man in the recovery room until he woke up. Finally the Ontarian woke up. The doctor immediately explain what happened, and told the Ontarian, “I am so sorry sir, my hand slipped during the surgery and I accidentally cut out 2/3 of your brain instead of 1/3.”

          The Ontarian looked confused and replied “Que ce que vous dit monsuier?”

          • Dude, we’re trying to maintain the fiction that Canadians are civilized here…

          • Shanzgood

            I heard a version of that when I was a kid but it involved Wops and Polacks. Yes, it was awful.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      The only possible staff change that could help now would be the impeachment of both Drumpf and Dense.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      He’s exactly the man he was on the campaign.

      He’s just not their delusional fantasy of the man he was.

      • Bemused Australian

        That was the hardest thing to explain to fellow Aussies. This is what you get, a thin skinned bully and giant orange man-child, and it won’t be any different when he takes office. My dear old Dad was a psychiatrist, and even he was reluctant to believe that was the case, and thought there was some rational adult lurking beneath the Trumpian chaos. Nobody I know is labouring under those sorts of misapprehensions any more.

        • Maggielle

          Yeah, I was talking with the Aussie landscaper who works at a house where I work sometimes (this was last year), and he expressed consternation at the state of US politics and the looming visage of Trump, and in the course of the conversation I explained to him that Americans are still fighting the Civil War. (At least some of them are; the rest of us are collateral damage.) He couldn’t believe what I was saying; I can’t either, but it’s still true.

          (Cute, fun guy, but 20 years too young for me, which is bittersweet because his girlfriend is 20 years younger than he is. IOW, I am old.)

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Wait, you’re telling me he was a bigot, pathological liar, sexual predator, and vindictive demagogue on the campaign trail too? Who knew?

        • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

          AOT,K

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      He sold himself as a complete moron in the campaign. This one’s on you, motherfuckers.

    • puredog

      And these are his supporters. Imagine what we might say (if there were comments).

    • Khavrinen

      “Every day he looks more and more like a complete moron”

      Yeah.
      “Looks like”.
      I’m sure that’s what it is…

  • LadyLaz

    Donna Rose is precious.

    • Finnabar87

      Baby girls are the best.

      Boys are fab, too – but a baby girl? Mine hung the moon, I am sure of it.

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      Donna Rose is better suited to be President.

  • Jgb979

    Past 2 weeks have to be the most batshit insane politically in American history.

    (And yes I’m throwing the Civil War in that mix).

    A sitting president fires the director of the FBI- something even Nixon never did, taunts about how he did so to make an investigation go away, blows the cover of one of the deepest Israeli agents working in ISIS currently, meets with his alleged Russian Handlers and lies about it, invites Turkish dictator to bring his goon squad to unleash chaos on US soil, and has to be treated like a toddler in preparing to leave home for 9 days.

    I just hope someone charged the batteries of the DVD player in the back seat.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Finnabar87

      My kid flew great distances as a young’un, and she was more sophisticated than most adults on the plane.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Four minutes? Only if you mention him every ten seconds — otherwise that’s wildly overestimated.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Leaked copy of “Trump Cheat Sheet” prepared specially’ by his staff.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DARTmAvVwAENy8R.jpg

    • Sadly, (1) too many bullet points, (2) not enough pictures, (3) doesn’t say “Trump” enough. He’ll never get through this list.

  • Big Happy Birthday to ShyPixel!

    • Finnabar87

      All the upvotes!

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Winter comes and the winds blew colder
    While some grew wiser, you just grew older
    You never listened anyway, that’s the hell of it.
    Good for nothing back in bed
    Nobody likes you and you’re better off dead,
    Goodbye! We’ve all come to say goodbye. Goodbye
    Born defeated, died in vain.
    Super destructive, you were hooked on pain.
    And though your music lingers on,
    All of us are glad you’re gone.
    If i had lived my life half an worthlessly as you,
    I’m convinced that I’d wind up burning too.

    Man, Paul Williams did have a mean streak.

  • Happy birthday to Shypixel! Or, as I said when I was litlle, Happy burpday!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Drumpf’s homecoming is already being prepared in his absence. It’s gonna’ be YOOOGE!

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DARTCwrUMAAhxT9.jpg

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Needs more torches and pitchforks.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        They’re understood.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        We do it with votes.

  • Shanzgood

    Wait, “blowies” are only for “birthdays”?

    • Finnabar87

      And I just hand em out willy nilly to the Spouse!

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I’ve been giving them away on just any occasion!

        • Finnabar87

          Best establish the best rules and practices early and often, folks.

          • Shanzgood

            Man, I really messed up by saying I don’t really care for jewelry.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Annnnd there goes my coffee. Damn you.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            I am SO talking to my lawyer about this one.

        • Rick Hill

          Well, I’ve heard that half the folks that are gay were born that way. The rest were sucked into it….

          • Gayer Than Thou
          • Rick Hill

            That, too

        • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

          Usually as hostess gifts here…

    • Me not sure

      Fake news.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      No wonder so many guys are surprised. xD I make every date their Birthday!

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      Of course blowies are for birthdays. When else do you have candles on your cake?

      • Shanzgood

        That took me WAY too long to figure out. I was like…”candles” and “cake”? What does THAT mean?

        • Anna Elizabeth

          It’s still morning. xD

          • Shanzgood

            I’ve been on Wonkette too long, that’s what!

        • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

          Some of use are into hot wax

    • baconzgood

      It’s my birthday everyday.

      • Shanzgood

        Oh, well that makes it OK, then!

    • SterWonk

      Who said “only”?

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Happy birthday Shy Pixel !
    I’m looking forward to see how Drumpf’s trip is going on and at the same time I’m dreading it.

    • puredog

      I wanted to send you a scan of my favorite birthday card ever, but it doesn’t seem as though I have scanned it, and finding the original would be tough. So I’ll just send this, which is hella OT but still fun. (Provenance: The bulletin board at the local sheriff’s office, tucked without comment among the wanted posters, notices, job announcements, etc.):
      http://i1048.photobucket.com/albums/s375/purefog/methlab_zpspewcfa5e.jpg

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Best line from “The Hell of it”, Paul Williams.

    Loved yourself as you loved no other,
    Be no man’s fool you’ll be no man’s brother,
    We’re all gonna die, you know, you know, that’s the hell of it,
    Life’s a game where they’re bound to beat you
    And time’s a trick that can turn to cheat you
    And we only waste it anyway, that’s the hell of it.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Plus bin Laden.

    • Ricky Gay

      FAKE NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!111

    • schmannity

      Gullible Republicans = redundancy

  • Finnabar87

    Much mead and victuals for Shypixel!

    Then, commence with the jousting.

    Go to your editrix fresh from the fight, good man.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Hey Donald ask the Saudi Prince who loves you so much what they do to traitors and those who commit treason like you have.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DARV-GKVoAAX_UT.jpg

    • SayItWithWookies

      Well sure — what kind of freak wears black when it’s 120 degrees outside?

      • Skwerl the Impeachanator!

        Well the highlands in Syria are a bit colder.

        • Me not sure

          As are the upper levels of hell.

    • TJ Barke

      Well duh, the good guy is wearing white!

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        The guy with more oil is the good guy.

    • Me not sure

      …and don’t even think about grabbing anything.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I wonder how much we would have to pay the Saudis to keep the entire Cheeto Benito regime over there. It can’t be much more than what we’re already paying for protection for his entire family, his golf outings, his wife’s luxury home in NYC, and his kids’ trips to exotic foreign lands. Sorry, I was hoping this would come out funnier. I guess I’m on overload from this week’s Daily Insanity.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Biel_ze_Bubba
    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      When dogs try to hang themselves…

      • puredog

        “but I don’t WANT a litter!”

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Just trying to keep from getting wrinkled….

    • mancityRed6

      alcohol was consumed, mistakes were made

    • doktorzoom

      So THAT’S a hangdog expression.

      • PubOption

        Check with Huckabee’s kids, they should know.

    • Khavrinen

      “So, what’cha doin’ today, dawg?”

      “Oh, you know, just hang(er)in’ around…”

  • Skwerl the Impeachanator!

    Chris Cillizza, you get bonus points for working the Triple Lindy into your article!

    What we are witnessing is a rare political feat: The flip, flop, re-flip and, possible, re-flop. (It’s sort of like the Triple Lindy.)

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/19/politics/trump-comey-fired/index.html

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDMMYT3vkTk

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith
    • LadyLaz

      Nothing beats a happy cat

      • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

        “Sleeping” is my favorite mode for my beast. But she bites, so may not be representative of all cats.

        • LadyLaz

          Heh, everyone of my cats bit me at some point.

          • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

            This is a first for me. Asshole. But I love her. Mostly.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Wonder if Drumpf will replay his ‘greatest hits’ on Saudi Arabia while he’s there?
    ~snicker~

    So, here are some things Trump has said about Saudi Arabia. pic.twitter.com/pIQYYujL8z

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • puredog

      Yeah, it has, but I don’t think he meant “taken off” that way.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Good Morning Wonketteamores! “Birthday” “blowies” are the “best”….Down here in Mintesoda, Grampa Toomush continues to defy the odds and is getting just a little bit bossy, and Grandma Toomush knows all my buttons and is pressing them in any random order, just for the fun of it…

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      Button pushing grannies are the best! I miss mine.

      • Shanzgood

        I have a button-pushing son. Unfortunately, he’s 10″ taller and 80lbs heavier than I am so I can’t lock him in the basement any more.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          They make these things called “tasers” now….

          • Shanzgood

            Well, I don’t want to damage him! He may be annoying AF but he’s still my offspring!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Just kidding. But it might be fun to hear him say, “don’t tase me, mom!”

          • Bozilingus
        • mancityRed6

          “I left a sandwich for you in the basement.”

          • Shanzgood

            He would just rip the door off the hinges.

          • eggsacklywright

            Hulk smash!

        • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

          My granny was 4’10” and 70#s. I think I might have been able to take her if I snuck up. And she didn’t have a knife in her hand.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Yeaahhh…..one week a month is all of this I can do…thank dog, the rest of the Toomush clan fills in when they can….

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend
    • Ghenghis McCann

      They’re always more dangerous when they’ve been cornered.

  • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

    Hey!! A thought just popped into my noggin: What are the odds that Kushner wants immunity so he (and his family) avoid asset forfeiture? If his obstruction is shown to have financially benefited him, I think RICO charges would apply. But I’m more of a lay Pharmacist than a lawyer.

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      I almost forgotted: DR is a beautiful child

    • Jennifer R

      Property doesn’t usually get immunity.

  • Anna Elizabeth
    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      You’re too sweet, Anna! You give me hope for humanity.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        ~hugs~

        I had an online friend, we met on a Queer Forum, and she said she “heard” everything I type in either Pinkie Pie’s or Fluttershy’s “voices”. :)

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          I have no idea what either of them sound like. I hear your voice as more like Laura Pergolizzi.

  • TJ Barke
    • Anna Elizabeth

      xD

      • TJ Barke

        Perry Bible Fellowship is pretty good. Not that prolific, but quality.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I’ll have to wikiwalk through their archive. :)

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    You know how we have these new tightened airline rules to keep unwanted terrorists and people who don’t have America’s best interests at heart from entering our airspace?……Now that the entire trump administration is abroad, I was just thinkin’….

  • Ezio

    Irony: When right wingers claim to hate Marxism but also support the second amendment. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8bcc14a90eef93a84659609a7ce9ce0c857fc0b3e114834a6f9664466088f3d9.jpg

    • TJ Barke

      That’s my logic for the 2nd as well. Gotta be able to fight the pinkertons.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      So long as “proletariat” means “conservative white Christian men”, they’re good with it.

    • The Wanderer

      Yeah, a lot of people seem to have forgotten that when Marx called for class struggle, he meant putting up barricades and slaughtering the rich.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • eggsacklywright

      Let’s Mecca deal!

      • data_ninja

        *applause*

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Okay, now that Anthony Weiner pleads guilty to the sexting a minor thingie, they’re gonna get him to flip and testify about the Hillary pizzagate child sex slavery thing, right? Right?

    • Ricky Gay

      His codename was “Anchovy Danger”

      • msanthropesmr

        No anchovies – My name is Danger.(what?)

        • Ricky Gay

          Third Eye

          • msanthropesmr

            I was dreaming about a weekend that was gin soaked and hand rubbed, at least, that’s what I thought she meant when she said let’s get drunk and refinish my furniture.

      • Raan
    • eggsacklywright

      And the inside scoop on the Blowing Green Massacree.

  • Ricky Gay

    Happy Birthday Mr. Shy! And if D.R. gets any cuter, my heart gonna act like a Nostromo chest-burster!

  • Ezio
    • msanthropesmr

      HOW LONG TILL I CAN GET LEGAL ALCOHOL?

      • puredog

        You KNOW what the inside of Bannon’s bag on AF1 looks like.

    • The Wanderer

      “I tell you, Achmed! You must see this pocky infidel’s face! Surely it is now as smooth as a houri’s fundament!”

    • Ezio

      “Cuuuuuuck!”

    • msanthropesmr

      Our religion is correct in forbidding alcohol. I mean look at what it did to this guy’s face!

    • Master Contrail Program

      And I thought our sportzball team was an embarassment!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “Hmmm…they won’t let me drink, but they hate Jews too…”

    • msanthropesmr

      Can I sit somewhere else? This guy smells.

    • msanthropesmr

      Jerry Seinfeld is not funny.

    • Hemp Dogbane

      Diet Coke, my ass! This drinking game sucks balls.

    • Ricky Gay

      This American farts worse than camel. Also less apologetic!

    • msanthropesmr

      How long til the DTs set in?

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Usually 72 hrs after the last drink unless on benzodiazepines.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Ahh, benzos! Let’s get Bannon hooked on benzos.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Is it gin o’clock yet? Why won’t Aladdin over there shut up already?

    • Raan

      Pictured: Steve Bannon, confused and sober.

      • msanthropesmr

        Maybe he sobers up and realizes what a mistake he’s made with his life?

        • Raan

          No, he sobers up and realizes he’s in a room with Muslims, and he’s terrified, because he’s a huge racist.

      • Not sure if sober or enough pancake makeup to choke a camel.
        Cause that is a LOT of makeup. Like whoa- I think there may even be some on his collar.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      “Forty quatloos on the fellow with a tribble on his head.”

    • MizzMazz

      Not a caption, but that’s the cleanest and most pulled together I’ve ever seen ol’ Bannon. They hosed him down real good.

      • Shanzgood

        They had to get him through TSA.

        • MizzMazz

          I wouldn’t want to have to pat him down.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            “Is that cookie dough in your trousers?”

      • Make up. A metric shit ton and a half of it by my expert estimation.

        • MizzMazz

          Maybe Ivanka is going into cosmetics now, and she used him to practice on! XD

      • puredog

        Next time, they could just hose him. I’d be okay with that.

    • Lol, fat white man gets NONE of our hash! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHa

    • ServantToTheStars

      Scamel Jockey.

    • Ezio

      Guy on left whispers to guy on the top: Man, what a cuck.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “ZOMG I’m surrounded by towel heads!”

    • (BANNON THINKING TO HIMSELF) “Don’t say sand n****r. Don’t say sand n****r. Don’t say sand n****r. ..”

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Ah cain’t take this jibber jabber. Ah just cain’t, I tell you, son. Ah say, Ah say, son, why, Ah say, why cain’t you talk right?
      {Bannon’s internal voice sounds like Foghorn Leghorn, by my guess. And before y’all start, Graham is Aunt Pittypat and Sessions is Forest Gump.}

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Did they send a life-size Sims 4 animation in place of the real Bannon?

    • SayItWithWookies

      “Either el-Bannon cleans up nice or they brought the Madame Tussaud’s model with them.”

  • Bill D. Burger

    Don’t often get to say, “Good on Nevada,” but Good on Nevada for helping to end this horrid and cruel practice:

    [Nevada outlaws anti-gay clinical therapy on children
    Associated Press
    Wednesday, May 17, 2017 | 12:02 p.m.

    CARSON CITY — Nevada is outlawing licensed therapists from attempting to talk children out of being gay, an exercise that leading medical organizations say has been scientifically disproven.
    The law will prohibit psychologists, social workers, nurses and other clinical counselors from attempting anti-gay conversion therapy on minors beginning next year.
    It will not apply to clergy members.

    It won bipartisan, though not unanimous, support in the Legislature.
    Gov. Brian Sandoval signed the bill into law on Wednesday.]

    https://lasvegassun.com/news/2017/may/17/nevada-outlaws-anti-gay-clinical-therapy-on-childr/

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “beginning next year”?
      That’s just a little bit fucked-up, innit?

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        More than “a little”. Do they still encourage exorcisms as a treatment for schizophrenia?

      • Left Coast Tom

        I’m not sure how it works in NV, but if it’s like CA…a newly-signed law takes effect at the start of the next year unless it’s 1) written otherwise and 2) gets a 2/3 vote.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          In Georgia, it’s typically July if the law is signed in April, at the end of the lege session.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          The lege here typically has four sets of start dates for legislation: immediately upon signature, July 1, October 1, or January 1 of the following year.

          The bill text says that it will implement in two phases – it becomes effective immediately for the purposes of developing the regulations (since this applies to seven different types of licensed medical professionals), and then becomes effective January 1 for the enforcement of the bill.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Meanwhile… “Anti-vaccination measure added to foster care bill in Texas House”

      • win some lose some.
        Though Texas should really know better. Like EVERY disaster movie and book that ends the world with disease always starts in Texas

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Captain Trips started in the Mojave desert, which in my ignorant mind is the same as Texas. It’s confirmation bias for me.

          • Yes, but it SPREAD in Texas cause that is where the moran ran to

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            That’s right! The security guard whose name I can’t even remember.

    • yyyaz

      “It will not apply to clergy members.” Because death cults that deny science and are tax-exempt are what make Merka great.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack
    • TJ Barke

      Needs moar chimichangas!

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        I tried to find this one specifically in chimichangas, but it was cut off at the bottom. The only other option was tacos.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          A truck on every corner! The horrendous fate we avoided when Donald was installed in the Oval Office.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Shuddup! I would commit high treason for a fresh Taco right now.

            Not light treason, full on high treason. Do not push me!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Mmmmm….Pancakes!

  • Bill D. Burger

    rotfl…..James Comey will not say it….but his 86 year old GOP Papa WILL say it:

    [Rob Tornoe, STAFF WRITER @robtornoe | rtornoe@philly.com
    Jim Comey’s father, a NJ Republican, speaks out about Trump
    Updated: MAY 20, 2017 — 11:22 AM EDT
    Fired FBI director Jim Comey will testify publicly sometime after Memorial Day, but we won’t have to wait that long to hear from his father.

    J. Brien Comey is lifelong Republican and a former councilman in Allendale, the quiet Bergen County borough where Comey grew up. And now that his son doesn’t have to answer to Trump, he’s not holding back his harsh opinion about the president.

    “I never was crazy about Trump,” J. Brien Comey told the Bergen Record. “I’m convinced that he’s completely nuts. I thought he belonged in an institution. He was crazy before he became president. Now he’s really crazy.”]

    http://www.philly.com/philly/blogs/real-time/Jim-Comeys-father-a-lifelong-Republican-calls-Trump-really-crazy.html

    • Shoto

      He doesn’t need to sugar-coat it. We can take take it.

    • LadyLaz

      An old style republican one can hope

  • geoffalnutt

    Maybe I can find Jesus on my meat, now.

    • msanthropesmr

      Keep pulling.

      • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

        But watch out for the nails

  • cosmiccowgirl

    Come back, bird! So cute.

  • msanthropesmr

    I really like looking at Donna Rose through Shy and Trix’s thumbs.

  • Belasaurius

    why is “birthday” in quotes?

    • Maggielle

      “Quotes” are “trending”?

      • msanthropesmr

        I am reading a dissertation proposal with some disturbing use of quotations in it right now.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Perhaps it’s a “dissertation”….

        • DrBigHead

          Does the person use ABD in their signature file?

          • Yr. Gma

            I knew an asshole who always did that. Up until he died without D.

          • DrBigHead

            I have always thought that the signs of a graduate student finally reaching maturity are when 1) the realize it is just a degree; 2) there will always be people out there that are smarter than you, so you better start learning from them. and 3) they realize that they are pedantic assholes.

        • Yr. Gma

          I’m sorry. No, really, retirement has made me so sad for all the poor saps I have left behind in the halls of “academia.”

          • msanthropesmr

            “control group” was in quotes. .. It made me say something I wouldn’t repeat to somebody else’s Gma. (My Gma would have been fine with the swearing)

    • Because 45 is scary?

      • DrBigHead

        I think I remember being 45….

        • Belasaurius

          I’ll be 45 soon

          • Cheer up! Trump might destroy the world before you and I get there. Then we don’t have to worry anymore about it

          • weejee

            And the Orange Shitgibbon is 45.

          • SEEEEEE??? ILLUMINAZIS!!!!!

          • eggsacklywright

            Ah, 45. Pretty much at the peak, there.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      I don’t “know”. Maybe it’s a “joke” because “apparently” anything in “quotes” now carried less “weight” these days.

      • Rick Hill

        Obvously a joke because it’s very “funny”

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          It’s weird because my natural reaction to quotes is that they’re emphasis, if that makes any sense? Something in quotes is not soft enough to translate to a joke to me.

          • Rick Hill

            Only because you don’t “get it”

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Oh no, I got it once. Took a round of antibiotics to get over it.

          • Rick Hill

            Std’s are never “funny”

    • Rick Hill

      Well, lizard people, duh. Do you mark the birth from when the egg is layed or when it hatches? If it takes a day or two do you mark it at the first chip cracking loose or the entire being emerges. It’s not cut and dry, you know

    • eggsacklywright

      That means you don’t take it with seriosity.

  • Ezio

    It’s pretty damn funny that the “screw your feelings” crowd is getting upset about people being “mean” to their dear leader.

    • TJ Barke

      “I’ma pretend to be all rational and say ‘screw your feelings!’ Then I’ma promote a socio-economic program that is an abject failure at promoting the well being of the whole of the nation!”

    • Certified Green Bastard

      “I said ‘screw YOUR feelings’. Be respectful of mine or I’ll scream!”

      • Diannelgates

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !sz256c:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. Follow this link for more information
        !sz256c:
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      • Dellawtsai

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !sx305c:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. Follow this link for more information
        !sx305c:
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    • Villago Delenda Est

      Yes, these shitheads make me slappy.

      • TJ Barke

        Just slappy?

        • Ghenghis McCann

          Slappy with votes.

          • Querolous

            Slappy with “votes.”

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      It’s still too early for me to get all stabby right now, so screw their feels.

    • When they get like that, ask them to say something supportive and nice about President Obama.
      Then smile to yourself.

    • Ricky Gay

      It’s always projection. (and puss, vomit and feces)

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Happy birthday Shy!

  • FauxAntocles

    Does Bey know God’s cutting in on her gig? I don’t want to be around when that hits the fan.

  • weejee

    tRump Twats™ from Saudi Arabia – Wish you were here

    • Gregory Brown

      The clown’s kickin’ it.

  • TJ Barke

    “Obamacare is failing because we’re sabotaging it! Better replace it!”
    https://thinkprogress.org/trump-plans-to-sabotage-obamacare-de692395121e

  • Ricky Gay
  • Nounverb911

    James Comey’s memos have been released!
    (Well, not really)

    https://twitter.com/NewYorker/status/865945269694857219

    • Rick Hill

      “What’s in James Comey’s memos? ”

      They have several spells they need to cast to open the memos as well as to bind the evil contained within. It’s not cut and dry, you know

  • Lefty Wright

    Watching the video of DR trying to catch a bird is sort of like trying to find some ethics in the Republican Party. From a distance, you hear them talk about concern about Russian interference or millions losing health insurance, but as you get closer, any sign of ethics flies away as they vote to screw the public. This will be a good lesson for Donna Rose in future dealings with Republicans.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Anyone else wonder if WWIII will start because the Idiot drumph will insist on two scoops of ice cream during this worldwide tour of shit?

    • yyyaz

      On a slab of chocolate cream pie, no less. Blech.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        He’ll want a layer of ketchup on his Jereesh.

  • Nounverb911
    • Apple Scruff

      Gosh, it’s so so bad… so bad. But I think I’ve got a crush on James Comey.

      https://media.giphy.com/media/aWPGuTlDqq2yc/giphy.gif

      • Yr. Gma

        He’s so tall and slim and long and he has those eyelashes. Makes sense to me. Hey, if Evan can lust after Jared…

        • Apple Scruff

          Ugh… I think it’s because I saw the interview with his friend and it made him sound so gosh darn likable. And the part about how he tried to blend in with the curtains made me laugh.

  • Ezio

    “Tolerant” Left smugly celebrates death of German head of state

    -Breitbart news, April 1945

    • Rick Hill

      “The world is a better place” they happily exclaim. Sad to celebrate death, twisted and selfish, they are.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        This doesn’t effect me at all.

        Of all the people who ever lived, he was one of them.

    • JohnBull

      Apparently liberals were supposed to love everyone, including Hitler.

  • Happy bday Shy. You’re halfway up to the fifth floor where the view is delightful.

  • Rick Hill

    So, at what point, as a country, did everyone stop wishing a nice day and telling you to “have a good one.”?

    • Crystalclear12

      11/8/16
      We are doomed.
      Have a nice one!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I never talk to anyone, so I have missed this development.

    • The Wanderer

      I borrowed this from George Carlin: “I already have a good one. Now I’m looking for a LONGER one!”

    • BosGrl

      People are too lazy to use a brain cell to remember what time of day it is.

    • Jamoche

      Vintage SF, vintage Usenet sig:

      “Nice day,” Foyle remarked.
      “Always a lovely day somewhere, sir,” the robot beamed.
      “Awful day,” Foyle said.
      “Always a lovely day somewhere, sir,” the robot responded.
      “Day,” Foyle said.
      “Always a lovely day somewhere, sir,” the robot said.

  • La forza del resistino

    Sheriff Clarke will request a uni upgrade worthy of a national stage –
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/17e2de611dbe0807b0974e470a3abe6ea6b421a3b01f054d3fa2e7fd2d48e5de.jpg

    • Nounverb911
    • The Wanderer

      Okay, a word about the doodads on Sheriff Clarke’s uniform:
      Law enforcement are at times permitted or required, by policy, to wear badges or other ornamentation signifying that they have completed some form of advanced training. My uniform bears a few such badges – FCAC accreditation, longevity (30 years in – represent!), and CIT training. My formal uniform bears a ribbon bar.
      That said, Clarke’s predilection for scattering them all over his jacket willy-nilly makes him look like an idiot or a TGIFriday’s server.

      • MizzMazz

        What’s with the stars on his shoulderboards? Seriously, I’ve never seen LEOs with those.

        • The Wanderer

          On the regular duty uniform, a sheriff or chief will have their stars on their shirt collar. Formal uniforms can have them on the shoulders. My Sheriff has them on his collar.

          • MizzMazz

            Okay, just wondered. He does seem to have an awful lot of flair on his uniform. I have a hard enough time dealing with my name plate, my access card and my own badge.

          • The Wanderer

            I’ve found that a lot of county sheriffs get some latitude in their formal uniforms. The previous Sheriff in my county had three – regular duty (short-sleeved shirt), formal duty (long-sleeved shirt), and what we proles liked to call his “Kiwanis uniform” – white shirt, tie, suit jacket in olive drab with four gold braid stripes on the cuffs.

        • La forza del resistino

          The county budget couldn’t afford his request of gold braid epaulets?

      • DainBramage
    • William

      I think he took my order at Applebees. https://youtu.be/unpxOzibwX0

  • Nounverb911
    • yyyaz

      Another participation trinket for the psychopath in chief.

      • Vecchioivan

        Shiny . . . Shiny . . .

    • TJ Barke

      Is it possible to burn a website down?

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        I’ll bring the tiki torches.

    • La forza del resistino

      Was there hand holding? Little peck on the cheek?

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      And they all lost their shit when Obama won the Nobel. AT least he didn’t give any committee members money for it.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Well, to be fair, he didn’t bow, he curtsied. (This is what happens when the OFLOTUS doesn’t hire a Chief of Protocol to run them through these things)

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        OFLOTUS?

        Hey, now I wonder what would OPOTUS mean?

        Orange POTUS?

        Obtuse POTUS?

        Oblivious POTUS?

        • yyyaz

          Yes.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Office [of the]…

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Um, is it my eyes or is Donald bowing right there in the fucking photo?

    • DrBigHead

      Fuck you, Matt Drudge.

    • MizzMazz

      What is that shiny geegaw *for*?

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Geegaw? I thought that was a doodad.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Unfettered access to Lockheed-Martin’s arms cupboard?

        • eggsacklywright

          And Boeing, Raytheon, General Dynamics, SAIC, and so on, etc.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Why is Matt Drudge still even a thing? He’s always been a caricature, an idiots idea of what a real Journalist should look like. He’s a muckraker who found an odd stone in a mound of shit once. He looks like he probably smells of cheap booze and toe fungus.

      • MizzMazz

        And his website looks like something from 1995.

        • Apple Scruff

          I think he made it on Geocities.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            I made two better websites than that through Geocities. I’m surprised his is not riddled with midi files.

          • Apple Scruff

            I miss midis :( I remember learning how to make my first animated gif. It was a logo that blinked. And it was awesome.

          • MizzMazz

            I liked making the scrolling thing, like a marquee. :D

          • MizzMazz

            I miss my Homestead account. Seriously, that thing was easy to use. Wix is what I’m trying to deal with now, and it’s not playing nice. I don’t want your templates, just do what *I* tell you too!

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Had to give up on website design myself. Too complicated for me. I’m a wordy guy, so the transition to a blog style was better for my taste.

          • MizzMazz

            The one I was/am supposed to do is for a business, so it’s words and graphics, and I just wanted some simple buttons to lead to another page. Never had this problem with the Homestead, could lay down the background I wanted, put buttons the way I wanted to, then press publish. So I’m left paying for a domain that I can’t do anything with.

          • MizzMazz

            I bet he figures it’s all right, since Space Jam still has their website up.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            And Duke Nukem still had a fan base online.

          • Three Finger Salute

            So does the Dole/Kemp ’96 campaign.

          • Shoto

            CompuServe libelz!!

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      wtf is “half chilled”

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I assume that means chill five each.

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          I realized it was a funny when I scrolled down to see the twitterer.

          • Left Coast Tom

            The scary part is it seems so real.

      • eggsacklywright

        Tepid.

      • Shoto

        Half not chilled?

    • Left Coast Tom

      Holy hell…the man’s travelling somewhere with an actual cuisine and he wants frozen fried chicken and frozen pies?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I sorta doubt it. The Kingdom hosts a shitpile of Texans. He’s hardly their first rich oaf.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I want this to be real

      • MizzMazz

        Fake. He’d never eat chorizo.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Yeah, and I can’t imagine he doesn’t have a roll of electoral college maps perforated like toilet paper.

          • MizzMazz

            Or like those paper placemats they give to kids, with a cup of crayons.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Although he’d only really need red.

          • MizzMazz

            Or cry to mommy that there isn’t a red crayon, only burnt umber.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I really like the thing where they’re going to cook their own bacon and eggs in five unplugged microwaves.

        • Chris

          The microwaves need to be unplugged because otherwise they are recording and listening to everything.

      • Alan

        Can’t be.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Quit harshing my buzz

    • Apple Scruff

      This cannot be real, right?

      He’s traveling to foreign countries and he wants SARA LEE PIES, KRISPY CREME DONUTS, and MOUNTAIN DEW???

      God, he’s so fucking pedestrian.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        The reality is worse. He’s making them cremate a steak with a side of ketchup.

        • Apple Scruff

          I did read that in multiple real news sources. So it makes me think this rider is real, too.

      • Gregory Brown

        As the old Italian insult has it: his taste is in his mouth.

        • H0mer0

          Suo gusto sta dentro sua boca? or more poetic than that?
          (my Italian is getting rusty.)

      • M.E. Lawrence

        Jesus lordy. I’m heading over to Pete Souza’s Instagram account to look at a few pictures of BHO. Lately, he and Sally Yates and the Warriors are my only joys.

    • The Wanderer

      So . . . I see he’s living up to the “Poor man’s idea of a rich man” ideal.

    • OrG

      What’s his position on brown M&Ms?

    • William
    • SayItWithWookies

      The American Kraft singles have to be unwrapped — if those staticy plastic wrappers stick to his tiny hands we can never get his attention again.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Catch 22. He reportedly has a Howard Hughes thing going on, so he probably couldn’t eat them if they were “pealed”

    • BosGrl

      Why can’t the microwaves be plugged in.

      Ohhhh, right…

      • Khavrinen

        So they know the camera wires aren’t connected, of course.

    • Peggy Ryan

      forgot the ketchup.

      • BosGrl

        Someone is in for it.

    • not_vh

      is he running a derby or something? that’s a lot of food for a couple days especially when b/f, lunch, tea and dinner he will have outside the suite.

    • not_vh

      dont forget he needs precisely 3 80″ sony. 3 in can understand tvs. fox, cnn and msnbc. but why does it have to be sony? and why 80″

      • puredog

        They know how to disable the eavesdropping function on the 80″ Sony.

    • Alan

      Come on, that’s a joke right? It reads like an Onion parody.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Who can tell anymore?

    • Pre-existing Ugly Dude

      Forgot cedar cheese.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        also too those cakes.

    • Amelia Resists and Persists

      God, PLEASE be satire. The framed electoral maps make me think it could be satire, and I want to be right. Because, speaking as a fat American who eats too much junk food, this list is the most horrifyingly disgusting display of stereotypical American gluttony I have ever seen.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        It’s satire.

        • Amelia Resists and Persists

          The real joke is that the only really unbelievable part would be them putting it in writing.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Only one box of Airheads?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Redundant, I guess.

    • H0mer0

      Buttermilk? White people drink that?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I think we mostly put it into biscuits.

        • H0mer0

          It occurred to me on the way to the kitchen that it’s also in salad dressings. My parents used it instead of curds as a “sauce” for rice and I always saw it as Indian comfort food. My parents liked the kind that came from Bulgaria so I guess they would drink it also too.

    • Atheist

      MUST be KFC napkins… what in the everloving fuck?

      And triple X silk robes. Those definitely aren’t for Melania.
      ew.

      (thank goodness it’s satire)

  • Left Coast Tom

    Raw Story post, about a CNN segment last night:

    During the 2016 presidential election, Russian officials bragged in intercepted communications that now-fired National Security Adviser retired Lt. Gen. Mike Flynn was their patsy and would be the lever they would use to exert control over the administration of President Donald Trump.

    And Trump, apparently, still “thinks” Flynn will be cleared so he can hire him.

  • Apple Scruff

    These Saudis really know how to pull at Trump’s heart ego-strings.

    • M.E. Lawrence

      Yeah, even a gold medal–that was a nice touch. Someone prepped this family very carefully and very well. “You’re powerful, your daughter and wife are lovely! You’re powerful, your daughter and wife are lovely!” Repeated over and over in hypnotic tones while proffering contracts and solid-gold pens on solid-gold salvers.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        I want to know if the medal has an inscription in Arabic and what it says. The Saudis say “it says great leader” but the real translation would be “a fly who feasts on camel shit” or something like that.

      • SeekingResistanceBarbie

        trump will throw a hissy fit when he finds out he doesn’t get to keep the medal.

  • William
    • The Wanderer

      That was before Faisal’s nephew assassinated him. One hopes Salman’s on good terms with his relatives.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

    • JohnBull

      History doesn’t repeat itself. It’s dead–like my sense of wonder, forever killed by this soul-crushing administration.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Yes, but did Nixon have the temerity to lecture the Saudis about their religion? This could blow the top off the arrogance meter.

      • William

        Well no, but that was before America stopped sending their best people. Now they are sending rapists and drug dealers, and some, I assume are good people.

    • M.E. Lawrence

      Please, please, oh, please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • OrdinaryJoe

      When Dumbfuk goes to China you will know he is toast.

  • notaten

    Happy birthday shy. I will share with you this card I got on my last birthday:
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cc17a5b7ee0e6822f7863023bce67b66445a71e9d327cba418329fbb3c9b52b1.jpg
    Because good advice is good advice.

    • yyyaz

      I’ll make an exception if it happens to be a nazi turd.

      • MizzMazz

        It messes up your shoes and annoys the turd? I’m getting my folksy sayings all mixed up.

        • yyyaz

          I was thinking of Steve Bannon.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DASCkewU0AAco1K.png:large It looks like he’s bowing. Fox News, get on it!

  • Ezio

    Happy birthday Shypixel. Did you know you share the same birthday as D.C. Super heroine Zatanna?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4640f295134ae55306957c4935456a0935e266ba540a8105e29df7f6b3e1447f.jpg

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Arbadecarba!

      • Ezio

        !noitca evil gnihtyna rO .seivom nwo reh fo eno ni eb ot sdeen annataZ

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          No kidding! I’d love to see her taken seriously. Her father did teach Bruce Wayne, after all.

  • Chris

    Happy Birthday Shypixel! And remember, I will always be older than you or dead. A happy thought for your birthing day,

  • Peggy Ryan
    • Msgr_MΩment

      “Hubba,Hubba, big boy!” — DR, but never out loud

      • H0mer0

        [WHO DAT?]

    • Tiffany de Houston

      What a cutie!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    OFFS, WaPo link, you are not going to make me pray that Erick Erickson is right about a thing, are you?

    It is becoming ever clearer that Trump has the potential to cause more damage to the Republican Party than Obama did the Democrats. While there is no doubt the Democrats saw serious electoral setbacks under Obama, there remains a key difference here: Obama is deeply respected and liked by a majority of voters. Trump is increasingly disliked, and the Republicans who enable him are increasingly distrusted.

    With a horde of vocal Trump supporters cheering on every inane statement, delusion, lie and bad act, the majority of the American people can be forgiven for thinking the GOP as a whole has lost its mind. The Republicans may soon lose a generation of voters through a combination of the sheer incompetence of Trump and a party rank and file with no ability to control its leader.

    PleaseGodMakeItHappen
    PleaseGodMakeItHappen
    PleaseGodMakeItHappen
    PleaseGodMakeItHappen
    PleaseGodMakeItHappen
    PleaseGodMakeItHappen
    PleaseGodMakeItHappen
    PleaseGodMakeItHappen&etc.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack
    • SayItWithWookies

      Obama is deeply respected and liked by a majority of voters.

      Holy shit — where are my heart pills?!

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        I know! I clutched my pearls just then. Fetch me the fainting couch!

    • William
    • chascates

      Charles Krauthammer penned a similar column today.

    • yyyaz

      Worst.Mea.Culpa.Evah.

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      If you can recognize that Obama is liked and respected by a majority of voters why the fuck did you attack him so much during his presidency? What does that say about you, you miserable piece of shit, that you would willingly savage a decent man for ideological reasons? It says one thing and one thing only: you are garbage and you deserve everything that has befallen on you and your family. Fuck you, Erick.

    • HogeyeGrex

      With a horde of vocal Trump supporters cheering on every inane statement, delusion, lie and bad act, the majority of the American people can be forgiven for thinking the GOP as a whole has lost its mind.

      A) They need no forgiveness for coming to an obvious and correct conclusion.

      B) This is the party you support, Erick. “Sane” Republicans, if any exist, are a vanishingly small minority in it. It is a coalition based on bigotry, religious radicalism, and economic and governmental nihilism. It demands loyalty to party over country. Hell, party over everything. You and yours are the ones who have driven the party, and now the country, to the edge of the cliff, handed the lunatics a bottle of Stoli and the keys to the bus, and sat cheering. And you wonder that people might think you mad. Trump is not the cause of your problems, Erick. He is the symptom.

      C) Fuck you with a riding mower for pretending you’ve had nothing to do with that descent.

      • TJ Barke

        Ramen.

      • puredog

        Only problem with this analysis, however, is that Erick Son of Erick is not sane either, he’s just a little less insane.

        • HogeyeGrex

          Hence C)

      • H0mer0

        I misread “B)” as “This is the party you Erect.”

      • WeaselPoo

        Point c) inspires me to contemplate adopting the phrase “Fuck you and the riding mower you came-in on”

    • WeaselPoo

      Ah yes, as my fellow wonkers ( or am I their fellow wonker? ) pointedly point out, Erick is committing a lie by omission regarding his contributions to the disastrous tenure that now has him clutching his pearls.

      But in true Republican fashion he also

      1) still manages to denigrate Obama without evidence by claiming that Barack ‘damaged the Democrats’

      2) undermines his own bullshit claim above by acknowledging that “Obama is deeply respected and liked by a majority of voters” ( in which case, how were Democrats “damaged” by the respect and approval of a majority —and besides, which, if the Democrats were so horribly damaged, how come Hillary won the popular vote?)

      3) Erick’s greatest concern is not for consequences of Trump’s and his administration’s “inane statements, delusions, lies, bad acts and incompetence” for America as a whole (nor for its established Allies, nor the rest of the world’s average citizens who will suffer from Trump’s actions and in-actions due to America’s massive influence on global affairs) BUT rather he is worried about the survival and future ‘success’ of the GOP only becuase Trump—the natural product of progressively extreme and increasingly self serving and hypocritical GOP policies and strategies for the last 40 years— is blatantly and un-apologetically revealing the intentions and ‘values’ and ‘competencies’ and methods of the GOP and its ideologies as truly awful and bigly no good and terrible for even the average Republican voter.

      So it’s still Party ‘uber alles’ for Erick— Trump is making it increasingly difficult for the GOP to fool their own fuckwit base of spoonfed ideological consumers to maintain brand loyalty.

      He’s probably also pissed that he’s been thoroughly overtaken in the right wing asshole market, and isn’t seeing any signs of his investment delivering a tangible profit to his wallet.

      • Tiffany de Houston

        Bravo! Very well said!

    • Shibusa

      I’m not seeing the damage that Obama allegedly caused to the Democrats.

      • He lost Congress when he provoked the common clay of the New West into an orgy of alternative-facts huffing, with his insistence on Negrociousness.

        • OrdinaryJoe

          He refused to compromise and insisted on Presenting while black. If he had been more white he wouldn’t have had so much controversy.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      From his keyboard to God’s monitor.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    OT: Listening to Desolation Row right now. Dylan. Man!

    • yyyaz

      Bobby Zimmerman hasn’t sounded as fresh to me as he has the past couple months than when he was The Fresh.

  • Ezio
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Anna Elizabeth

      Bey! :D

    • not_vh

      did you clear this card with trix? :D

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        She got a nice beefcake image from me on her birthday. Fair is fair!

        • not_vh

          sometimes, i wonder if the climate scientists have factored in beyonce in their models.

          • Zyxomma

            I know this is Wonkette heresy, but I don’t think she’s all that. Neither in the talent nor the looks department. Matter of taste. I’d rather hear Duffy sing, and prefer many others’ dancing.

          • not_vh

            ok cool. i dont know too much about her myself. but personally find her very very beautiful.

        • H0mer0
    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Dayum! She’s so fucking hot.

    • La forza del resistino

      Getting Bey to pop out of your b-day cake may cost a cool $2m. I’ll get on PayPal rightaway, Shy.

  • Jonny On Maui

    Cripes! Go away for a few days and when you get back all the cubicles have been moved around…

    The place does look good tho…

    • TJ Barke

      I thought your island had sunk into the sea!

    • SisterArtemis

      Did cubicles get moved? I always visit Wonkette through a news-reader portal (feedly) so I miss changes sometimes…

      • Yr. Gma

        I don’t know if our new Heroines of Rhetoric get a cubicle each, but now Robyn’s on weekend desk duty and $5F (credit to whomever first did that) and Killer of Martinis are on the scene. Also, too, Dominic graduated and did his very own post not agenda-related. My “tax” dollars at work!

  • William
    • not_vh

      nobel prize winner for noble science. congrats m’am.

      Tu Youyou (Chinese: 屠呦呦; pinyin: Tú Yōuyōu; born 30 December 1930) is a Chinese pharmaceutical chemist and educator. She is best known for discovering artemisinin (also known as qinghaosu) and dihydroartemisinin, used to treat malaria, and which has saved millions of lives. Tu Youyou’s discovery of artemisinin and its treatment of malaria is regarded as a significant breakthrough in 20th century tropical medicine and an important health improvement for people of tropical developing countries in South Asia, Africa, and South America. For her work, Tu received the 2011 Lasker Award in clinical medicine and the 2015 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine jointly with William C. Campbell and Satoshi Ōmura.

      M’am any ideas about the mosquito this side of Atlantic?. Thanks

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        A number of mosquito-borne diseases are spreading in continental US. I belie the DT administration plans to work on that by cutting funding for CDC.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    OT – Ima watching a documentary about Desert Storm. The 2nd Armored Cavalry is about to engage Iraqi Republican Guard at 73 Easting.

    I had no idea that the Iraqi “Tawalkana” Division of the Republican Guard means “In God We Trust”. Also too, asshole HR McMaster was a Captain commanding Eagle Troop @ 73 Easting.

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      They all got started somewhere.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Indeed. McMaster and Eagle Troop did superbly at 73 Easting. Too bad he’s finishing public life by licking Trump’s taint.

        • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

          Honorable service unfortunately does it inoculate against bad decisions down the road. I think that’s what’s happening to McMaster. I honestly hope he sees it soon and takes corrective action. He still has time.

          • La forza del resistino

            Future Book deals have an intoxicating effect. That is once Donald’s NDA expires.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I sincerely hope you are right. I would like to see McMaster act with honor, as a US Army officer should.

          • Pierre_de_Fermat

            I believe he is still in the service; as such cannot refuse these orders.
            The civilians, on the other hand:
            https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2017/05/18/if-you-work-for-trump-its-time-to-quit/?utm_term=.ec34a41c834e

          • Yr. Gma

            I read somewhere (probably on the Internet, so it’s true) that the top brass more or less ordered McMaster to take the job to babysit Donnie.

    • SisterArtemis

      Anna, curiosity speaking here: is your fascination with the intricacies of battle and the machines of war related to previous professional work? a life long interest? and somewhat OT, when you talk about creating your models, I think of my uncle, who from teenage years until long after he got out of WWII, built scale models of all kinds of ships, both military and commercial, with great attention to detail and full of stories about each one. Kind of warms the cockles of my heart when you talk about your own interests.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        Thank you. :) I’ve always been interested in the military. The first “real” book I remember reading is “Guadalcanal Diary” by journalist Dick Tregaskis.

        I had always planned to join the military, but my diagnosis of BiPolar finished that. I was in a military prep/high school to try and get into the Naval Academy or Naval ROTC when I was diagnosed.

        I’ve been building models and miniatures since I was 6 or 7, I do warships and starships as well as tanks, etc. My older brother always built models, and he taught me to begin with. :)

        • SisterArtemis

          I don’t have the patience for it, though I do have patience for other intricate time consuming detail-oriented stuff, so I don’t know what the difference is. I can spend HOURS building a SketchUp model of a tiny house, but don’t have what it takes to do detail architectural models in real-life.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            I don’t think I could handle 3D graphics modelling, but I love the hands=on part of my hobby.

    • Zyxomma

      Anna (and everyone), have you heard about this hero in Mosul? Iraqi soldier who drove a bulldozer into what he knew to be a car bomb, pinned it to a building to explode. He’s okay. http://www.dailymail.co.uk.fxsc.ru/news/article-4515324/Iraqi-soldier-rammed-bulldozer-ISIS-car-bomb-Mosul.html

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        Wow! A brave man, I’m glad he survived. :)

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Happy Birthday ShyPixel. May the Force be with you!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ey2c8TaR_1g

  • Apple Scruff

    Some GOP dude (congressman?) on MSNBC just used the words “reset button” to talk about Fanta Hitler’s trip to Saudi Arabia.

    http://www.gifimagesdownload.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Scream-gif-horror.gif

    • The Wanderer

      Of course, he’s a Republican, and blind to irony.

    • snark-lurker

      now where have i heard that before

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      What’s funny is that Hitler likely drank Fanta himself.

      What’s scary is trhat they’re now talking openly about policy as though it’s a TV show. I guess the impeachment will result in a recast with no possibility for a spin-off.

    • Shanzgood

      I’m just hoping the “reset button” isn’t the one that bikes us from orbit, just to be sure.

      • TJ Barke

        Bikes?

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Autocorrect, I’ll bet. XD

          • not_vh

            auto correct also tells us a bit about shan herself. statistical likelihood of shan talking about nukes is null, but bikes .8.

            we have taught our auto-corrects to speak an entirely different language. to the point that our auto-corrects are now useless for english.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Mine learned shitgibbon quickly.

          • Tiffany de Houston

            Mine now recognizes hoofwanking bunglecunt.

          • JustDon’tSaySurety

            Which explains why my Obamaphone swears so much.

          • Cogswell

            Is that oPhone for short?

          • JustDon’tSaySurety

            In this case, it’s “that fkn oPhone”

          • Anna Elizabeth

            That’s really interesting to me. My likelihood of using the word “nukes” is much, much higher than average. :)

          • Ferroequinologist Ron

            It’s part of your charm!

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            xD Thank you!

          • Cogswell

            Auto-reject is more like it.

        • SisterArtemis

          saves fuel, green energy, etc etc

          • TJ Barke

            Chafes like nobody’s business…

        • Shanzgood

          Ugh. NUKES. Stupid phone.

          • SisterArtemis

            Oh, I don’t know – now I have a nice mental picture of him lobbing bikes at us from orbit.

          • therblig
          • Cogswell

            That is one thing that eludes me. The ability to post to a forum from a cell phone. Oy.

          • SisterArtemis

            Are you smart-phoning? if so, get the Wonkette app, it works better for me than doing it through the browser

          • Cogswell

            I have a Samsung G7 but I just stick to my PC. I don’t even like phones. If I could get away without having one, I would.

          • Courser_Resistance

            It Works great from my J7.

      • Zyxomma

        xD Nukes.

    • Browncoat Krieger IRL

      I’m less interested in a reset button with Saudi Arabia and more of some kind of toilet flush handle that empties out 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

    • not_vh

      we need to reset all the way back to before filing papers for gop primaries.

  • chascates

    Happy Birthday!!!

  • Browncoat Krieger IRL

    Happy birthday, Shy!

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    OT: Bang Bang, Cher. Partytime!

    • Yr. Gma

      How cool to share a birthday with Cher!

  • Ezio
  • H0mer0

    Sooo keyooooote!
    She could see how the elixir gave him pleasure and helped him talk more fluently and just wanted summa dat.

  • PubOption
    • WeaselPoo

      Oh yes! I seem to remember this singer maybe being in the movie ‘Gregory’s Girl’

      • PubOption

        Correct.

  • Doug Langley
    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      Yum!

  • eggsacklywright

    So Mr. Pixel shares a birthday with:

    Cher (71)

    Jack Gleeson (25)

    Naturi Naughton (33)

    Sierra Boggess (35)

    Rachel Platten (36)

    Matt Czuchry (40)

    Chad Muska (40)

    Busta Rhymes (45)

    Tony Stewart (46)

    Timothy Olyphant (49)

    Dan Abrams (51)

    Mindy Cohn (51)

    Gina Ravera (51)

    Ted Allen (52)

    Tony Goldwyn (57)

    Bronson Pinchot (58)

    Judy Kuhn (59)

    Jane Wiedlin (59)

    Ron Reagan (59)

    Cindy McCain (63)

    David Paterson (63)

    Dave Thomas (68)

    Constance Towers (84

    • puredog

      That’s so much better than my birthday. I’ve been stuck with Norman Rockwell.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Dave Thomas is 68? My how time flies when you’re having fun.

      I share a birthday with Sarah Palin. My sister never lets me forget.

    • Tiffany de Houston

      I’ve got Raquel Welch and Freddie Mercury. Oh, and April Ryan!

    • roberteye

      WTF? Who WASN’T born on Shy’s birthday?

      • Ferroequinologist Ron

        Abasendo Neguderman. Hios birthday was last week.

      • Zyxomma

        The many greats who were born on mine, of course. Bernard Herrmann, Little Eva, William James Mayo, Murad I, George Washington Goethals, Antoine de Saint-Exupery, Frank Loesser, Oriana Fallacci, Stokely Carmichael, Egon von Furstenberg, and just so you know they’re not ALL winners, Gary Busey, also, too.

      • Mondoshawan

        I share a birthday with Christopher Walken, Al Gore, Patrick Leahy, Angus Young, Israel Horovitz, Nikolai Gogol, John Fowles and Cesar Chavez.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Leap baby checking in. I share mine with… eh, some not so good people. Most of these I never heard of. But on the list are two serial killers (Aileen Wuornos and Richard Ramirez), and Antonio Sabato Jr., the underwear model turned Trump apologist who’s running for a GOP congressional seat in CA.

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/February_29#Births

          Only ones on that list I can be at least neutral about are Tony Robbins, Dinah Shore and Dennis Farina. I think Robbins is kind of a con man, but at least he’s no Trumpist and certainly not a serial killer. Shore, pretty good singer. Farina I miss from Law & Order. Can’t believe they fired him for not “looking enough like a cop” even though he actually WAS a cop in Chicago (while Briscoe and Green were Broadway song and dance men, lol).

          Oh, hey, the guy who founded U-Haul is on the list. Well, in case I ever need a moving van or storage facility, I’ll be sure to keep U-Haul in mind and support a company founded by a fellow leap baby.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Constance Towers?! I’ll bet Shy doesn’t even know who she is (then again, she is a native of Montana, so maybe something in White Fish is named after her). She and her husband, John Gavin, were great friends of the Reagans and Ronnie named John his ambassador to Mexico. Constance is still plying her trade on soap operas since Republicans can never have too much money (or maybe she doesn’t take Social Security because of principles … ha ha ha!). Let’s hope Shy takes after the other birthday boy Tony Goldwyn, TV’s sexiest president/adulterer and in real life a trust-fund-baby philanthropic Democrat.

  • capnkrunch

    Where is the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness? I cannot even right now!
    https://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/donnarose-lion.jpg

    • SisterArtemis

      Thank goodness!!! I knew something was off…

    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      Phew, the world has been righted upon its course. Good going!

  • Yr. Gma

    Happy Birthday, Shy! I was 45 once. It’s a good age. (And your daughter continues to be beautiful.)

  • SisterArtemis

    Happy Birthday Shy! and thanks for the chicken dogs!

    Also too, STOP FEEDING THAT BABBY! She’s getting way too growed up! (ok, ok, don’t stop feeding the babby-toddler… sigh…)

  • calliecallie

    Donna Rose is still pretty cute. Maybe you guys should think about having another baby. Just an idea. Happy Birthday, Shy!

  • Nockular cavity

    Wait, there are Wonkette nym t-shirts? I want my Nockular cavity shirt NAO, please!

  • Shibusa
  • sgt. jmk of the résistance
  • NerdWithNoName

    Birthday advice for Shy. Don’t ask for a “blowie” for you birthday because it implies it won’t happen again until next year.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Maybe it’s been a year already since the last one and this is his only chance?

    • SeeTrain65

      “Only on your birthday or our anniversary.”

      In my case, that would mean cake.

  • Ferroequinologist Ron

    Happy birthday, youngster!
    Also, do not give margaritas to babbies. Babbies do not need all that slat.

  • mailman27

    She’s driving already! They grow up so fast…

    • Zyxomma

      Of course she’s driving! Why else would daddy feel free to have that drink?

  • Zyxomma

    https://www.pinterest.com/pin/530087818622321316/

    Happy birthday, Shy. May your next trip around the sun bless you with love, health, peace, abundance, prosperity, laughter, friendship, courage, community, and joy.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    For his birthday, I ordered Shy one of those genuine reproduction American Mint Pride commemorative Saudi bling-bling neck medals with real gold (paint), as seen on TV. It should get there in 4-6 weeks.

  • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre
    • Khavrinen

      #15: Why not both?

    • Serai 1

      Holy shit, they’re going right down the playbook.

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        But what about Chappaquiddick?

        • Serai 1

          Oh, Vince Foster and all her other many murders, of course.

          • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

            Almost everything directly maps onto the current Reb defense of their current disaster-in-chief. Hopefully including the final act.

    • AJ Milne

      They stand on the shoulders of equally pathetic giants.

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        Truth.
        And their satirists proudly stand on the shoulders of Art Buchwald and Rich Little.

  • smr

    Ditto on all the wishes, Shy!

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Forty five ! Sigh. I can usually keep up with all you keyboard warriors and sometimes I forget how young most of you are. So Happy Birthday Mr. Editrixhubby. I hope you enjoy whatever blows your way today. (Wind, you gutter minds, I’m writing about the wind.)

    • fredoandme

      you’re cute.

      nothin’ funny.

  • CindyinEncinitas

    Happy birthday Shypixel!

  • Three Finger Salute

    Happy birthday to Mr. Shypixel! Adorable little baby pixels you’ve got there too :)

  • ahughes798

    Last pic indicates Wonkatoddler is very much her parent’s child!

  • Jukesgrrl
    • Wee Mousie

      I think it must be a Peewit.

  • SeeTrain65

    Happy Birthday, Shy! You’re not getting older, you’re …

    Holy shit, 45? You ARE getting older!

    (A joke, meant with admiration from a 52-year old moron who walks like he’s in his 80s.)

  • Annie Towne

    That’s no baby, that’s a big girl!

    When did that happen?

  • Diannelgates

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !sz256c:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. Follow this link for more information
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  • Chosen by God? That seems like a downgrade from Beyonce…

  • Dellawtsai

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !sx305c:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. Follow this link for more information
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    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs595DirectFlyGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!sx305c:….,……

  • Lyly Sirivong
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