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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

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  • Nounverb911
    • It’s Benedict Cumberbumble!

      • Nounverb911

        You don’t mind tea this morning do you?

        • wide_stance_hubby

          I, for one, fantasized that it was coffee in a delicate pot.

      • MrTusks

        Whiptybang Bandlesnatch!

      • You back off my imaginary sociopathic boyfriend!

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Scooby

    Wait until he finds out Comey showed the Memo to guys that wrote Memos about seeing the Memo!

    • coozledad

      Imagine the headache that kid of meta would give Pence.

      • Scooby

        Stupidity = Plausable deniability.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          It worked for Reagan.

      • Nounverb911

        He’s still confused about Mother’s Day.

  • Nounverb911

    If the Saudis start cooking trump’s steak now, it might be ready by time he gets there….

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1e48a9e0aac62a7b9730a228990a3032e9756d1b77a265d1b2cd0203b20530a8.gif

    • coozledad

      They could cook it in some of Ailes’ lard if they didn’t have them damn dietary restrictions.

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        Ailes was not halal?

        • Oblios_Cap

          Let’s see. His dick looked like raw hamburger and smegma came out of his mouth. So, no.

          • I didn’t know you worked for Fox!

          • Oblios_Cap

            I read it . But not on your blog.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Aaaand there goes my appetite forever.

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

            Not to mention he was swine!

      • From Russia with Love

        I hear they were having trouble finding a coffin big enough for Ailes. So they plan to give him an enema and bury him in a shoebox.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Now I want some eggs and hash browns!

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        And grits. Because grits are groovy

        • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

          Oh hell yeah!

        • JCfromNC

          And so versatile! Serve ’em with butter, or cheese, or as a hot cereal with milk and sugar (my brother liked them that way, but he might be a unique case), or with gravy and small crustaceans.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Pan Frying a steak?

      BLASPHEMER!

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        I like pan fried steak. It has a much different taste than grilled (not better or worse), just different. Especially in a hot iron skillet, and when rain won’t stop.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I could make you change your mind about pan-fried steaks. :) Screaming hot skillet, Olive Oil, a little butter, Fresh-cracked Pepper, and Sea Salt, plus careful timing.

        • MynameisBlarney

          NEVAR!

          Actually that does sound really good.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Yeah. :) I haven’t had a grill in years, so I have to improvise. If the pan is screaming hot, it seals the juices in, and I try to touch the steak only 3 times – put it in, turn it once, remove it to rest.

        • Ferroequinologist Ron

          Yup. You just want to sear the outside while leaving the inside next to raw.Heat pan, drop in, flip over, remove and eat.
          ‘Course it has to be thick enough or else it gets cooked on the inside. Ick.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Indeed. I almost never buy Red Meat for the past year +, but when I do it’s a beautiful steak. I make awesome Steak Fajitas too. :)

        • Bebecca

          I[ tried this in a cast iron skillet when the weather was too terrible to grill (we use charcoal) and I have to say it was really good. I like my steaks rare to mid rare so I put it in the oven for a few minutes then let it rest. It was mmm, hubby thought so too.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Yeah, I mean I adore a well-grilled steak, but pan-frying is pretty darn good too. :) I like mine very rare, I usually don’t need the oven step but I would be happy to do a guest’s that way.

          • Skeptical_thinker

            This. Timing is depending on thickness, but when I fry I season the meat with salt, pepper, garlic, basil and whatever the hell appeals to me at the time. I drop the meat on a 500+ degree dry cast iron skillet, turn once and then put the pan into a 350 degree oven. Then remove from oven to rest.

            If I sous vide, then everything changes. I season (lightly) the steaks before vacuum sealing them individually. I put the steaks into the hot water a few hours before dinner. When it comes time to finish them, I get the cast iron skillet to 500-600 degrees and sear the steaks. Serve immediately as no resting is required. The steaks end up with the seared layers on each side and everything else is whatever you want from very rare to (ICK) trump done.

  • coozledad
    • From Russia with Love

      Wouldn’t want Donald to hug me either. I might come down with a bad case of Vietnam.

  • Oblios_Cap

    The press secretary, who has turned into a household name over the past five months and garnered sky-high television ratings for his daily press briefings, has also drawn the ire of the president.

    I wonder why the Popular Vote Loser feels that way? Might it be the sky-high TV ratings?

  • wait! what?
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I guess plans for the new Trump Masada Golf Resort have gotten off to a rocky start.

  • Nounverb911
    • Riley Whodat Venable

      In fact, send us a bill. Call it Child Support.

      • Ferroequinologist Ron

        ‘He likes to “play golf” four or five times a week. He’s a bit of a fussy eater. Oh, and don’t let him watch too much TV, it makes him cranky.’

        • “M”

          Make sure to take that phone! You can only let him use it with close supervision.

      • William

        and never feed it after midnight.

      • aureolaborealis

        I bet Mexico would pay for this.

  • Oblios_Cap

    because nothing says “Thanks for your service,” like a slap in the face and a kick in the ass.

    Here in Florida, we understand that. And don’t forget the yearly e-mail that tells us how much the elected officials love us, just before they “forget” to put COLAs in the budget, while giving themselves a raise.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      It sucks in Corporate America too.
      Imagine if you will, ten years ago and the merger of Nextel and Sprint, touted as a “merger of equals”. But, the “new” company would no longer pay bonuses and stock options to the Nextel employees. Nor contribute to the Sprint pensions. If you stayed, your compensation would be limited to salary and benefits only. Maybe some 401K match? Who the hell cares? As someone who had worked for both companies (5 years for Sprint, 9 years with Nextel) and in the strategic planning group, the last team to be offered packages, I did the math, took the package and fled.
      The bonus had been 15% bump on my $97K salary and after nine years, I had $120,000 in stock options. Plus my vested Sprint pension. I have never again earned as much, but I have never since worked so hard. Knowing that they would expect the same level of dedication for fewer ducats? Kiss My Ass.
      What has happened since? The great Nextel phone network has been decommissioned because they couldn’t maintain it without the trained engineers. Sprint is floundering and I still wonder why they haven’t been dissolved, they suck so bad.

      • Oblios_Cap

        The Invisible Hand of the Free Market loves slapping labor around.

  • Nounverb911

    And in other news, Roger Ailes is still dead.

  • BosGrl

    Dear The Rock: We’ve had enough of amateur presidents. Kthxbye.

  • Lizzietish81
  • Oblios_Cap

    So Trumps going to deliver a speech on Islam, written by Miller, in Saudi Arabia? What could go wrong?

    Shit, they might solve our problems for us right in the public square.

    • schmannity

      Please please please insult Mohammad.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Lot’s of people are saying he was not a prophet?

        • schmannity

          He’s being recognized less and less.

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        “He ran a child sex ring in the basement of the mosque in Mecca!”

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Just show everyone the picture you drew of him.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Shoes! Burned Effigies! OMG, The Flag! IEDs! Rockets Bursting in Air!

    • redarmyzombie

      WITH VOTES, OBLIOS! SOLVE IT WITH VOTES!!!

      • Oblios_Cap

        Maybe. Maybe not. I have no foreknowledge nor am I advocating violence.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      First he heads to Saudi to lecture 50 Muslim heads of state. Then to Israel to lecture Jews on solving the two state solution, then to the Vatican to lecture Pope Frankie on Real Estate.
      I’m calling it the “Piss Off the Sons of Abraham Tour.”
      Where are Romney and Glenn Beck?

      • Bebecca

        Is Jarred going with him? Wouldn’t this be a good time to broker peace in the Middle East? Trump told us how easy it will be, why wait?

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          Jared and Ivanka are going. Jared just brokered a deal between Saudi and McDonnell- Douglas on some missile system. He needs to pick up his broker’s fee.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Lockheed Martin. And he jewed them down. What? He did. Huge discount. /s

    • cmd resistor

      Just depends on how good the weapons deal is, I guess.

  • DerrickWildcat

    LOL, “Toby Keith to Perform at Men-Only Concert in Saudi Arabia During Trump’s Visit”
    http://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/music/toby-keith-perform-men-only-concert-saudi-arabia-during-trump-n761761

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Yeah, we wagged on that all night. I wanna see the playlist.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Can’t wait to see the Saudis singing along with “Beer For My Horses” and “Courtesy Of the Red, White, and Blue”.

    • schmannity

      Boot in yer ass, it’s the American way.

      • beatbort

        I hope they storm the stage and start moshing.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Ululating With The Stars.

    • OneYieldRegular

      I am already clicking “Favorite” on YouTube.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Men only concert? Please tell me he’s dressing up like a fireman, construction worker, Indian chief or a fireman!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Of course if this was an Obama shill doing the concert, the Republicans would suddenly become outraged feminists, screeching about women not being allowed to attend.

      • redarmyzombie

        The Gay Wahhabi Society?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Village People Libelz!11!!1!

    • NastyBossetti

      As a woman, I wouldn’t want to go to a Toby Keith performance anyway. Or Saudi Arabia. Or anywhere near Donald Trump. So you men can have ALLLLLLL of that!

  • jesuswasablack

    “blaming everything on Obama by using an international cyber security information sharing program”

    Yeah and Fast and Furious, Solyndra, Jade Helm what about all that? Libtard Lamestream media never asked for a special prosecutor for Obammy

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C6O9mSiUwAAedZM.jpg

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Also, Lemmy died while Obama was President. How do you explain that?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Wait, Hillz killed Lemmy too?

      • jesuswasablack

        Obammy had him killed of course, he’s white!

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Witchcraft.

    • nightmoth

      I almost feel sorry for people who were too stupid or racist to recognize what a great president and first lady we had in the White House. But mostly I’d like to deport those assholes to another country.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I saw an interview with a former Justice Dept. attorney, who was asked what he would’ve thought had it been Obama who tried to intervene into an investigation into his administration. Dude just laughed and said, “ridiculous question, that never would’ve happened”.

        • Bebecca

          I read something the other day that said Comey didn’t write a memo about interactions with Obama because Obama is an honest person. I would love to see Donald’s twitter reaction to that.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            True dat. And a lawyer. A real one.

          • vivian

            And an adult.

      • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

        Isn’t there a big, deserted island somewhere that we can airlift them all? We can even periodically drop off food, medical supplies, and building materials. It sure would be cheaper than the way we subsidize the red states now.
        That is seriously a fantasy of mine.

        • nightmoth

          Sounds good to me, and I live in a red state. Maybe I’d get better neighbors if mine vacated. Sure would make for more stimulating conversations than “Didja get yer buck yet?” and “What are you fixin’ for the church supper?”

    • William

      Every one of those so-called scandals was vigorously investigated vigorously by the GOP and every single one of them concluded absolutely no culpability by the President. Keep trying ( psssst. this is the part where you start shaking, drooling and muttering Benghazi) https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/132b7fdf7789d59a86a03d891057a487dbed6a959b38b14660a46b6c9a9cf8aa.jpg

    • William

      Wait…what…..did you actually mention something about Seal deaths?

      https://www.buzzfeed.com/emmaloop/john-mccain-says-the-recent-yemen-raid-was-a-failure?utm_term=.iwv1DgaQB

    • Mumen Rider Justice CRASH!

      I’m not even…Solyndra? The dream act? Black Panthers? Really? These are scandals?
      Thank you for the reminder. I’d almost forgotten how truly innocuous the “scandals” against Obama really were.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Hey Black Jesus – imagine if you will Dolt 45 enduring an 11 hour grilling by dumb fucks like Hillary? Can’t? That okay, I can’t imagine it either.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      It’s almost like these people don’t understand the differences among “policy I disagree with,” “failed program,” “bad idea,” and “criminal intent.”

      • jesuswasablack

        my post is snark, this is what the righties are putting out, get a fucking grip?

        • William

          OK I got it now. You pretend to be a right wing troll illicit a response then call the responder “fucking dull”. I’m glad I could make your morning a little brighter.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Wait? Wot? William, are you being obtuse again. Jesuswasablack is cool. HouseofTheBlueLights is cool. No reason to use the T-word with Regulars.

    • vivian

      They forgot the Tan Suit!

  • Scooby

    Rumor has it Trump is going to try to look strong by telling the Saudis ‘what they need to hear’. What could possibly go wrong?

    • NastyBossetti

      I assume they just “need to hear” what he thinks literally everyone else needs to hear – how big he won the election, how everyone is so unfair to him, how he’s the target of the world’s biggest ever witch hunt, etc etc.

      • Scooby

        Don’t forget Radical Islamic Terrorists.

    • From Russia with Love

      Hope he finds a nice Wahhabi audience!

      • Al Swearengen

        I’m sure if you asked him about “Wahhabi”, he’d go “No, that stuff is too spicy on my sushi.”

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Molotov!

    • Bemused Australian

      Apparently what they need to hear is Toby Keith.

      https://youtu.be/ruNrdmjcNTc

      • Scooby

        Ted Nugent is home crying.

        • redarmyzombie

          Or shitting his pants.

          • Bemused Australian

            I’m sure he can manage both at once.

          • aureolaborealis

            While raping 14yo girls?

      • Al Swearengen

        Fuckin’ townie. Keith grew up in the suburbs of Oklahoma City. There’s got to be pics of him wearing an Izod like the Duck Dynasty poseurs.

        But when you’re selling music to Harley-riding suburban dentists, all it takes is a drawl. And lack of sleeves. (All the brocountry idiots.)

        I give him 2.5 Larry-the-Cable-Guys.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          I give him one, because I am ashamed that I can name more than one of his songs. And I know the words. For mocking. Yeah, that’s it. That’s the ticket.
          Damn you big brain and good memory

      • Bebecca

        How could that possibly have seemed like a good idea? But those people are tone deaf.

      • Ωbjectifier

        Japanese guitar.

    • FlemmishSpy

      He’ll pitch a beauty contest in Mecca.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Ohhh, swimsuits!

  • wait! what?

    Donald can blame Barack for a file sharing program. But we all know who the real Napster is.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ee8a2bdcaed5ca56b6b77332925cd7b17feaa506f6ac43c2cf64598af3f09b31.png

  • From Russia with Love

    “Trump says HE didn’t screw around with Russia, but he can’t speak for all the other people he’s throwing under the Trump Train.”

    Robert Mueller should tell Trump “I’ll be happy to let you know if you did or not.”

  • AndyC316

    It isn’t Trump’s fault — it’s all the dopes that voted for him! They hurt the country! Sad!

  • Nounverb911
  • schmannity

    My youngest son last night: “I don’t get it; Trump got people to vote for him because he didn’t owe anything to anyone and was too rich to influence, so how does Russia fit into that?

    • Nounverb911

      American banks won’t lend him money but Russian ones will?

    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      Your youngest son is smarter and more perceptive than 35% of America. You should be proud.

    • BosGrl

      I had my 11-year-old nephew here yesterday. I’m careful what I say, because my sister’s family likes Cheeto (drives her crazy when I call him that). We talked about the special prosecutor and what that means. He said that if people in the campaign were doing “bad things” it wasn’t Drumpf’s fault, “how would he know”? He is super smart (he does math on an 8th grade level and wants to be a neurosurgeon) so I didn’t say anything disrespectful and I backed up my gentle arguments with facts, and by the end he had some things to think about, without my doing anything to upset my sister :).

      • From Russia with Love

        Funny how you need kid gloves to deal with Trump (or any other elected Republican) among Republicans, but they are happy to call Hillary “That old fucking gash” to your face.

        • BosGrl

          My sister just says she “doesn’t like her”. When we were discussing Russian trolls who spread disinformation far and wide via social media, he asked for an example and I told him how they said Hillary was “sick” and basically on death’s door. He said that Trump wasn’t responsible for what other people did, and I explained that Trump had mocked her many times for a non-existent fatal illness. This is one of the things he mentioned to his father last night. So yes, while I had to use kid gloves, mission accomplished!

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      “He lied, son. Trump lies. A lot.”

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      His age? My daughter was 10 during the Bill Clinton/Monica Lewisky scandal and her take was “that Monica girl isn’t right. Bill is Hillary’s husband” with the requisite tooth sucking, as we do.

      • schmannity

        15

  • msanthropesmr

    “The wheels on the bus run over the aides, run over the aides, all through the town”

  • ManchuCandidate

    Let’s sing along with Trump’s Blame Game!

    The blame game. Barry! Barry, Barry.
    Ba-ra-rak, Ob-a-ma wanna.
    Bla-la-ame. All on that-a-wanna, Barry!

    Clinton! Clinton, Clinton. why-wah-water,
    Fou-un-un dation, Co-on-spiracy.
    Fee for pla-la-lay, Clinton!

    • schmannity

      Let’s do Flynn!

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Flynn! Flynn, Flynn
        Flo Fliynn
        Treason, Treason boe breason,
        Money was his one reason.
        Treeassson.

        • From Russia with Love

          1965 is not dead to me either.

  • Rick Hill

    “No. No. No. Listen, I want someone who LOOKS like he’s an FBI director.”
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aM85dKW_700b.jpg

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Thanks Mr. Gwinn.
    I always look forward to your column.

    • From Russia with Love

      I look forward to Mr. Gwinn’s column too, but only as an opportunity to fuck with him a little bit.

    • :)

  • Vincent Ricola

    That Comey story reads like a police report on a stalker that won’t respect the multiple restraining orders that have been taken out on him. Donald’s desperate need for friends would be sad if he wasn’t a pussygrabbing asshole who is trying his best to burn down our country.

  • beatbort

    Fully expect 24/7 coverage of Anthony’s wiener on Fox News today.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Wall-to-wall wiener.

      • Ferroequinologist Ron

        I think I have a copy of that porno.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Rule 34.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    The entire Trump presidency was predicted by the Prophet Shaggy.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2g5Hz17C4is

    • nightmoth

      He’s pretty shagalicious.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Nunes and Sessions ought to be reminded what “to recuse ones’ self” really means. ‘Cause right now, they are sucking at it.

    • But words are hard, man!

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      That’s ok. Let them dig that ditch.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        I hope there are repercussions. It’s hard not to be skeptical, though.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          It’s enough for them to have to wear their failure for the rest of their life. Like Ken Starr. Or Robert Bork.

          • “M”

            It’s not enough for anybody who’s in danger of getting their vote suppressed and enduing up in one of those detention centers / for-profit prisons.

            Root them out and then let them rot.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Oh, I am not minimizing the damage that these jackasses create. Not at all. I am a victim of the Great Recession myself. And I’ve been active, like full time active, since 2011 as a “SJW” fighting this BS in my Red State, that is turning a nice bright shade of Purple.
            We’ve already identified the rats in our state and targeting them for 2018. Next month, in my neighboring district, the GA-06, we have the Jon Ossoff/Karen Handel election. Vote Your Ossoff.

  • Edith Prickly

    Comey set his own trap by sending those Hillary letters, but now that he’s out – Trump is going to be really fucking sorry that he cut Comey loose.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Great. Just what we needed. Anthony’s Weiner back in the news.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Can’t wait until Trump tries to order the pulled pork sandwich at the state dinner in Riyadh.

    • beatbort

      Or when he leans over to tell the Saudi prince, “You must have a lot of ugly ass women in this country cos they all got their faces covered with napkins.”

      • Rick Hill

        More like “I really appreciate the way you keep your women in their place.”

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Grab a pussy. Just go for it. #popcorn

    • Rick Hill

      “No? Well, how about a BLT, then?”

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        “What, no taco bowls? I thought all brown people ate them!”

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Dude no. The saudis already announced that he requested well-done steak and ketchup. The pulled pork will probably be in Jerusalem, with a side of disco fries.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      A cous-cous stuffed porkchop. And a Bacon Cheasburger in Israel.

    • From Russia with Love

      Pulled pork is more what he does when he’s in Russia.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        It’s a verb, not a sandwich!

        • From Russia with Love

          Certainly not a Morry Amsterdam sandwich!

  • bookish
  • Chadwells

    Any bets Fuckface tries his handshake bullshit with the Saudi king…or prince…or whatever? Pretty sure that’s a big no no…but he’ll do it anyway.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      He will probably use the hand they use to wipe their arses.

      • Chadwells

        Oh you know that is the truth!!

      • snark-lurker

        and eat goat-eyes and other finger foods with that hand

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          Plus double dip the finger food in the hummus.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      They kiss. Pucker up, buttercup.

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      I’ll put 10 on “kicks off his shoes and holds them up to show em off”.

      • Chadwells

        Smart bet!

      • bookish

        While shoveling pork sliders and lifting the nearest hijab.

    • From Russia with Love

      I kept checking to see if he’d cross his legs and show his shoe sole to Erdogan, but he didn’t. It’s a fairly big insult in Turkey.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Too bad. Erdogan deserves a fairly big insult.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      In Soviet Russia, witches hunt you!!

      Nah, even that is too lame to write. Good thing it never existed.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        I’ll work with it. First draft.

        In Soviet Russia, there are no witches.

        I’ll keep trying. That was lame too.

        • vivian

          In Soviet Russia, witch are you hunting?

          Nope, nope, still not there yet…

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            We may have to call the joke. I think this joke is just DOA.

          • vivian

            In witch Russia, Soviet hunts you?

            no…no… still not working.

            Okay, Joke is unresponsive. I’m calling it at 10:35 EDT.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Forget the crash cart! The joke’s flat-lined. We have total punchline death.

          • vivian

            Is that the humor equivalent of Heat Death? A joke so bad it kills the universe?

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Almost. e came very close to creating a joke so bad, it killed comedy. Like the Monty Python weaponized milkman joke.

          • aureolaborealis

            JUMP TO ANOTHER MEME, STAT!

            In Soviet Russia, is no witch (or potato).
            Only sadness.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Home run! Witch/Soviet Russia fusion joke completed!

    • therblig

      Babbitt season
      Fuck season
      Babbitt season
      Fuck season

    • William
    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Have you heard this term “witch hunt.” You have? Witch Hunt! It’s a great term. I came up with this, not many people know that. It’s when witches hunt you. You know, you’re never going to catch me because I know more than everyone else, but they put on this witch hunt, where all the witches are hunting. And they’re all trying to get rid of the Second Amendment, so they don’t even know how to hunt. And I don’t think it’s ever been used in quite this way, but I just came up with this witch hunt to describe how unfair they are to me.

  • Crack_A_Toe_Ah

    Note to self: develop a musical out of this whole thing. The central drama can be centered around Flynn’s and Trump’s racist bro-mance and how Comey gets all up in their bidness ruining everything for them. Song titles so far: “Lock Her Up!” “Turkey Turkey Fo-Furcky Fee Fi Fo-Furkey” “Russia? I Hardly Knew Her!” developing…

    • BosGrl

      A Hamilton-style musical in about 200 years… history is not going to be kind to us.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        I was thinking of a Les Miserables played backwards.

        • vivian

          Sel Baresimsel?

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        “Immigrants, you get the hell out.”

      • Rick Hill

        “I laughed. I cried. I couldn’t stop watching! Made me reflect, deeply, as I put on my nuke suit and dosed with no-rads later that night”

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Willkommen, bien venue, dobro pozhalovat, in treachery in treachery in treacheerryyyy!

    • “Tovarisch, Russia’s Usurper Must Prevail”

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Wasn’t it good? Wasn’t it fine? Isn’t it Madness he won’t be miiiine? Sung By Alec Baldwin as Trump while looking at a picture of Vlad.

    • The Russians Are Peeing, The Russians Are Peeing

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      “The Reach-Around that Rocked the World!”

    • Tania

      Get on to Tim Minchin. I believe he was the creator Of the fine work Keating- about an Aussie PM.

  • laughingnome

    Weiner is the only dick joke we’re tired of at Wonkette.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    You know what other kind or person cozies up to people investigating them? Give you a hint, it rhymes with ethereal millers.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
  • Carpe Vagenda

    The total best part about the Chaffetz story:

    These sources believe it would make more sense if a new chairman took the lead before the committee’s Comey probe takes off.

    “Chaffetz is job-hunting when he should be doing the people’s business,” said one Republican who asked not to be named.

    and we laughed, and laughed…

    • ariel_gee_398

      “Chaffetz is job-hunting when he should be doing the donor’s business.” FTFY, unnamed Republican who is probably a very jealous Paul Ryan.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Once he failed to put Hillz in jail, he lost the will to live.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • redarmyzombie

      Aw jeez…it’s not even 7:00 here, and already there’s not enough booze in my office…

    • Oblios_Cap

      Willfully so.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Awww! They think anyone is going to re re re re investigate Benghazi? have they ever gone to a mechanic for an oil change and been told they needed a prostate exam? The two things are just that connected.

    • Alan

      Lets look into blowjobs while we’re at it.

  • Me not sure
    • Why are you beating up adorable otters?

      • Me not sure

        Weasels ripped my flesh….with big…nasty …sharp…pointy…teeth.

        • SeeTrain65

          Greetings, Me the Enchanter.

      • therblig

        trumpy doesn’t believe in turning the otter cheek

      • Rick Hill

        It’s a man-thing. You wouldn’t understand. We all know that one day this will happen and we are not men until we pass the test

        • Anna Elizabeth
          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            They are all giant-sized man things. Just ask us.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            This why it’s difficult for women to become Engineers. We spend our lives being told 5 inches equals a Foot Long.

          • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

            ZING!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            xD

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            Hah! Funny because it’s true.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Hey, I actually have a first printing of that one! Love me some Man-Thing.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Nice! I had a Micronauts comic with Man-Thing. Wasn’t Howard the Duck introduced in Man-Thing?

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            I believe he was.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Seventies Marvel. :) Genius, insanity, chaos, and stinky-yellow pulp paper, all for 35 cents. xD

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Some of the best stuff too! Black Panther, Falcon in actual solo adventures. Luke Cage and Iron Fist. ROM the Space Knight (Nostalgic favorite). Good times!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I adored ROM! That was a hell of a book. The Dire Wraiths were pretty fucking scary. Do you remember when the government put Archie Stryker in Firefall’s Spaceknight armor, and captured ROM’s Neutralizer?

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Vaguely, it’s been a while since I dug through my old ROM comics, but I have been meaning to revisit them. The Dire Wraiths actually gave me nightmares.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            They were an inspired design, plus the Wraith Hellhounds and Mother Deathwing were chilling.

            ROM crossed over intro the Marvel Universe for some great stories. When Storm of the X-Men lost her powers for sometime, it was because she had been shot with a Prototype Neutralizer intended for use by SHIELD.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            That’s right! I remember when Ororo lost her powers, there was a really street subplot with Archangel, where they developed feeling for each other because he started taking her flying and she missed flying. Ororo really had it hard, born a queen, turned into a prisoner, then a slave, suffering from PTSD as a result of torture and confinement. Such dynamic characters.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Yiss! I loved X-Men. That book taught me how to be Queer before I even knew I was. Storm and Kitty Pryde are especially inspiring that way, and I kind of think of my Baby Girl as my Kitty. She’s certainly more intelligent and has more character than I, but I taught her how to fight for herself and what she wants. :)

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            I always felt a lot like Magneto when I was a kid. Seen some shit and willing to fight to keep it from happening again in an almost fanatical way. Then i discovered Wolverine and started recognizing myself way more in him. Riddled with scars nobody else can see, kind of thing. The X-Men taught me what prejudice was and that it was absolutely evil. The FOH was everything that the Klan had been and they didn’t shy away from that, even in revealing that the founder of the FOH was Victor Creed’s own son, a non-mutant.

            I wax philosophically about these things, but I really can’t overstate how these stories changed my early life and made me a better person for them.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            No wonder we get along so well. :) Claremont’s X-Men especially was about these big issues – tolerance, respect, being willing to fight against evil, and that no matter color, nation, sexuality, or gender, we all have more in common with each other than we have things to hate about. :)

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Oh yeah! The idea that we could come together as a family with people we are not bound to by blood and make a difference in the world by simply being ourselves is what really helped me hold on to my sanity as well. While my experiences are surely different than yours, and I don’t want to dig up anything, I know you went through a lot of the same things I did. I read Clairmont’s works and it gave me hope that one day I could find a family, Xmen of my own who’d take me in, teach me and protect me without judgement. A sort of unconditional bond I never really had back then.

            Fortunately, I was right. I have a huge family now, my wife a few friends, all my own X-men. I’ll never let anything happen to them and they’ll never let anything happen to me.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            ~hugs~ That’s pretty much what I am doing too. The Family of Choice, a lot of us have to do that, and I’m so thankful for my FOC. :D

      • Me not sure
        • PubOption

          Another day in Idaho politics.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        They appear to. be ripping his flesh.

    • VirginiaLady

      Zappa had an album about that guy’s situation.

      • msanthropesmr

        That’s where he got the inspiration. My guitar wants to kill your mama.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          Shut up and play your guitar.

      • Me not sure

        A classic, I might add.

      • Bemused Australian

        Zappa might be more accurately interlocuting Trump with this one, given the whole hand size fixation thing.
        https://youtu.be/MfnAD9bFyGE

    • Wild Cat

      What? That’s his fuggin’ cabinet!

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Why are weasels attacking this man in the water? Otters, I would accept, but weasels? Perhaps some haphazardly thrown marmots, but weasels?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Apparantly weasels don’t like David Bowie

        • Anna Elizabeth

          XD You beat me to it!

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Well, it is a blackstar universe.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Too soon. Too soon.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Sorry, i just really do love that album. Bought it when it came out.

        • Meccalopolis

          Weasels ripped my flesh

      • Me not sure
        • BearGHAZI

          I don’t know about the squirrels. I have a lot of strong opinions about teenagers in black leather jackets though

          • Me not sure

            If they’re below the age of consent, be careful.

        • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

          “Man’s Life”, “True Men”, Ripped Flesh”! I sense a theme.

          • Me not sure

            Back when men could sop up al of the ignorant, sexist, untrue blather that they wanted in as
            sensational a form as they wanted, without ever going further than the local drug store.
            MAGA!

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

            Not to mention Turkish Baths!

          • Me not sure

            I’m pretty sure I didn’t.

    • AJ Milne

      Hey! How’d you get pictures from my last canoe trip?!

      (Damn leakers.)

    • Anna Elizabeth

      “Can Woman Justify Their Need For Extra-Marital Relations?” is hysterical!

      Maybe if you weren’t so busy beating your weasels, Mama wouldn’t need Hunky Pool Boys….

      • redarmyzombie

        Hey, nobody said he couldn’t join!

      • mardam422

        Our weasels can be so dangerous though.

      • Internet Hitler

        Thanks Obama

    • Ωbjectifier

      I’ve always wanted to visit Cape Cod.

      • Me not sure

        Didn’t Obama vacay tbere?

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Martha’s Vineyard. Black people have been going there for generations.

      • Jamespuck

        Cape Cod was once a great place. No longer so. Lots of drugs, crime, homelessness, unemployment. Then on the other side conservative rich who yell NIMBY but do nothing to remedy. This from lifelong resident.

    • SeeTrain65
  • God Emperor Emeritus

    Moral philosophy exam questions, 2017 edition: Your embassy needs additional money for security to prevent BENGHAZI!!!! Suppose that if you shill Trump! brand merchandise through official channels, you will get that money, which you would not get otherwise.

    DISQUS!

  • AJ Milne

    ‘Trump says HE didn’t screw around with Russia, but he can’t speak for all the other people he’s throwing under the Trump Train…’

    (Smiles…)

    Say… Anyone out there who gave him that ‘loyalty oath’… How ya doin’, dawg?

    • vivian

      If nothing else, this has got to be absolutely GREAT for staff morale.
      This guy really knows how to run a business… into the ground.

  • It was over 30 degrees here yesterday. It’s 7 but feels like 4 now. Fuck you weather!

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      Celsius, or American?

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Pfffffft. 46C here today.

      • I went to bed for summer and had to find my blanket again this morning

        • Phoenixdoglover

          Er, east of Rockies? I know that area especially in Canada is subject to fast temperature swings.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      We’re hitting 90F here today. With rain. It’s a sauna.

  • Since Rohrbacher seems to have been played by the Russians and our dear Editrix once witnessed him fall off of his barstool, drunk, allegedly, on cheap Russian vodka, and probably let him have it with words more “than that one time”, can we assume our dear Trix may be the agent that brings him down?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Nah, d00d left an a trail of breadcrumbs.

      • SeeTrain65

        Send BadKitty’s flock of tits to eat them so he can’t find his way back.

  • VirginiaLady

    Is he out of the country yet? Should we move and hide, or just refuse to allow him re entry into the US?

    • laughingnome

      I think this trip will be a fantastic shit show.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      The judges blocked that executive action. We didn’t think it through.

      • cmd resistor

        Wonder if those appeals courts will issue decisions while he is gone.

        • Yellerduck

          Refuse entry to orange haired shitgibbons?

    • vivian

      If we just change the numbers on the White House, he’ll never find it.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Extreme vetting should do the trick.

      Where did you visit, Herr Drumpf? The homeland of the 9/11 attackers? Please follow me to Interview Room B.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Confiscate his phone unless he unlocks it. Oh, who am I kidding? His phone isn’t locked. He could never remember a 4 digit code.

    • bupkus231

      “Should we move and hide….”

      Rump’s lunches are wrapped in road maps ( hopefully, of Antarctica… )

      [ Sorry, Rodney – I couldn’t resist ]

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    There are a lot of really good take downs of 45’s comment “No politician in history … has been treated worse or more unfairly.” Aside from the obvious Hillary/Obama comparisons we have all heard, here are a few that make his insane ramble even dumber.

    Mandela, was imprisoned for 27 years.

    FDR was constantly accused of being a Communist.

    Those are just two examples. The list gets bigger and, yet again, their president has embarrassed himself and nation.

    • Shanzgood

      Also? Dolt 45 is not a politician.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        True. He’s a shitty developer with a penchant for fraud, lying and screwing contracted workers.

        He’s an absentee landlord.

    • chicken thief

      I’d add Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley, JFK, and Reagan to the list also too.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        It’s safe to say any politician who was ever shot was treated more unfairly.

  • William

    Well it looks like we are going to find out what the almighty is up to, like really fast.

    https://hellochristian.com/7670-franklin-graham-trump-will-stay-president-until-gods-vision-is-complete

    • Alan

      They should lock up the crazies.

  • Rick Hill

    Big shout out to all my clients who have no problem spending $200k on a car they park in their garage but nickel and dime me for a months work that they will use and appreciate every day. (only about 45% of them but still enough)
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a1bjNp8_700b.jpg

  • Chadwells

    Good gravy…that Rojas guy who did the Times Square thing was a Navy vet?!

    • William

      So was Nixon….just sayin’

      • Chadwells

        And Spicer!

        • William

          Poor Spicey. He’s an active reserve, which means he can request a transfer to active duty. I believe we still maintain a military presence in Thule Greenland.

    • Alan

      I think vets have a higher incidence of alcohol abuse than the general public. Not a surprise.

      • Chadwells

        Just tragic. Fuckface is doing a great job with the VA.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        PCP also too. Self medicating. So sad.

        • Alan

          That stuff is still around? Ewww.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    So None-yez is getting the info. he recused himself from so he can update his daddy the Russian Puppet, right?

    • KnaveOfSwords

      If I were the people briefing him, I’d insert a few juicy bits of misinformation into his briefing and wait for Trump to start tweeting them.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        We should start calling that the “Comey Maneuver”.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          “A Swing and a miss…” These guys are toooooo st00pid.

    • chicken thief

      Just a coinky-dink that Donnie has a private meeting with the Sergeys minutes after Devin returns from his briefing.

  • William
    • MynameisBlarney

      Oh for fucks sake!
      That is so goddamned childish.

      • William

        The show facts, hide facts icons LOL.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        William is being an ass this morning and I for one, refuse to touch that link.
        ETA – and he’s been reported and blocked. 3 strikes? You’re outta there.

        • MynameisBlarney

          I must have missed that.

    • Blackest Noobs

      are all the Huckabees a bunch of dumbfucks?

      • William

        I think the site is parody. It has “hide facts, show facts” icons which for some reason I found hysterical.

      • BadKitty904

        Is this a trick question? It’s a trick question, isn’t it?

  • BadKitty904
    • Except Ash is so much cooler. Bruce Campbell also, too

      • BadKitty904

        True, that. But I was referring to the scripted lines and his expression, which accurately portray Trumpian faux-sincerity and gibbering bullshittery…

    • Bemused Australian

      Do not compare anything Bruce Campbell related to Trump! Heresy!

      • BadKitty904

        Jeez, you Campbellite fanatics. I was referring to his lines, people!1!

        • Bemused Australian

          Heretic! =)

    • Elvis Causticfellow
    • Blackest Noobs

      Ash LIBEL!!!!

      • BadKitty904

        Simmah down, simmah down. And see below.

        • Blackest Noobs

          ASH LIBEL I TELL YOU!!!!!

          • BadKitty904
          • Blackest Noobs

            Hey! that’s unfair….just because i’ve left myself go and now have MAN-TITS…that’s no reason to point that out!!!!

            (p.s. i don’t really have man-tits but the other day when i was driving home some old guy geezer was outside shirtless talking to his neighbor, before i recognized the old fart was a dude i was like hey, why is that ugly lady with the really saggy boobs out on the street shirtless)

          • BadKitty904

            It also occurs to me that not all Wonketteers are bird-watchers (though they should be). The rowdy lil’ songsters in the photo are titmouses.

          • William

            Cue the Beavis and Butthead giggles.

          • Paperless Tiger

            Rowdy tits. Got it.

          • BadKitty904

            Good name for a pro wrestler, actually.

  • Crystalclear12

    I wonder what the Republicans will drop in the news cycle this afternoon with the hope that it will drown over the weekend?

  • Ωbjectifier

    “There is no collusion between certainly myself and my campaign, but I can always speak for myself — and the Russians, zero.” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8e4f8bcf59fe302e4d588ea0e1084703df9933f2c8e0153acc8a7918ea2bde78.jpg

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Marry sir, methinks he is addlepated.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Youthinks?

        • Ghenghis McCann

          I thinks, therefore I is.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Always putting Descartes before the horse.

    • Jon Sussex

      Is he the settler, the agent, the individual, or the person?

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Well, there often seemed to be very little collusion between Trump and his campaign.

      • Yr. Gma

        There is very little collusion between Trump’s brain and his mouth.

  • Internet Hitler

    BREAKING: GOP seeks “black Jew gay” nominee for 2020

    (Washington) – The Republican National Committee announced a search today for African-American homosexual of the Jewish faith to run for president in 2020.

    “In the past, we’ve made kind of a weak effort to get more minority votes,” said RNC chairman Ronna Romney McDaniel of Michigan at a press conference. “But then we shifted in the other direction and kind of jumped off the rails.”

    McDaniel described the move as a “radical course correction” to adjust for the party’s sins of the past few years.

    McDaniel’s uncle Mitt Romney commented, “Well, we’ve really pushed a lot of hateful white bigots lately. It became our thing, and we certainly need to do something radical to make amends.”

    RNC co-chair Bob Paduchik echoed the party sentiments. “What we really need to ‘cleanse our pallets is a big, brassy black queer or lesbian,” he said.. “Hopefully a rabbi.”

    • Blackest Noobs

      this is a joke, right?!?

      i mean i do recall after losing in 2012, the GOP was ooooooh we gots to be more inclusive….yadda yadda yadda…fuck that….double down on fucking white people.

      • Tokays_don’t_blink

        I agree, this smells strongly of Onion.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Bernie and a blushing Jeff Weaver immediately set up a meeting with Rachel Dolezal.

    • chicken thief

      “RNC chairman Ronna Romney McDaniel of Michigan…”

      Would that be of Flint, MI where Ronna drank too much lead filled water?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender
  • Carpe Vagenda

    Remember charity? That thing Good Republicans are supposed to cherish because it’s going to replace social services? Well, this is the sane, goal-oriented thing Peggs wanted Trump to be doing instead of what he did

    Refusing to eliminate the deductions for mortgage interest and charity was a dodging of bullets. I’m not convinced the former is fair: It’s hard to see the higher justice in treating homeowners better than renters. Maybe a real-estate lobbyist will explain. The latter was I suspect the work of the New Yorkers in the White House. Opera, ballet and theater all come out of New York, home too of the greatest museums and libraries. If the charitable deduction goes away, their contributions go down. If the greatest opera goes down in New York, that art form no longer exists in America. And a great nation must have opera. Apart from that, wealthy New Yorkers, such as people at Goldman Sachs, enjoy being on the great arts boards, and cutting the deduction is no way to accomplish that. God bless social ambition as a force for good.

    Tl;dr: fuck the lame, the halt and the weak (and, she doesn’t add, the churches). There are jews watching ballet.

    The shutting up can’t happen fast enough.

    • Claire

      It no longer exists in America? Aside from Chicago, Los Angeles, Santa Fe, San Francisco, and Philadelphia? Even the Minnesota opera has been killing it lately. I mean, I get that the Met is the big one with the star-attracting power, but come on.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Agreed. Even Orlando has an opera company.

        • Mpeg

          And and AND:
          “Yes Virginia, There is An Opera” for us, too ;)

    • Paperless Tiger

      “Opera, ballet and theater all come out of New York …”

      Unfortunately, so did Trump, so it’s pretty much a wash.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Um, we have opera, ballet and theater other places in America, biatch. And that’s a very narrow view of what constitutes “The Arts” and very Eurocentric.

        • Boscoe

          Which is EXACTLY the right way to describe it if your intent is to shovel some coal onto blazing conservative rage fires…

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      It’s too early for Peggington.

    • Lori

      She’s kind of right about the mortgage deduction*, but the rest of that is just crap. Par for the course.

      *It’s regressive and a contributing factor in driving up housing prices. It shouldn’t be eliminated, but it should be more limited than it is.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Well, it relates to the only real asset a lot of people have, but I’d be open to seeing it go if they closed the tax breaks for commercial real estate.

        • Lori

          The fact that it’s the only real asset a lot of people have is partially because of the way the deduction is handled and the effect it has on prices. The whole issue has developed a definite chicken & egg quality. A lot of problems could be solved by capping it, but good luck getting that through. Also, it probably shouldn’t apply to 2nd homes or it should apply only if the total value of a person’s real estate is below $X. That’s not going to pass either.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Seriously? She thinks charity is all about being on the boards of operas and ballet theaters? I think she needs to get out more.

      Or get out entirely.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Rebekah Mercer is on the board of the Museum of Natural History (yes, creepily the same woman is the boss of Donald Trump and Neil deGrasse Tyson). The parks in the neighborhood we lived in when she was born were full of broken glass, so my kid learned to walk in the AMNH, with bonus clean bathrooms, on a $practicallynothing/yr membership. I buy a spendy membership every year, to there and the zoo, every year to pay forward but I don’t delude myself I’m paying for it. And we need it. Bad.

  • Ghenghis McCann

    Dear Donald, there’s a flaw in your “Take all the credit when things go right, Blame someone else when things go wrong” strategy. I’ll give you a clue. Nothing has gone right.

  • Pisto75666

    That Mnuchin clip is amazing. He can’t even be bothered to look her in the face while she’s dicing him into fine pieces.

  • William

    So now he goes all the way to the middle east to tell people who hate us how badly he’s being treated by his own country. I can’t help feeling sorry for the future generations who have to take an American history final.

    • Paperless Tiger

      That won’t be a problem once DeVos gets rid of the schools.

    • natoslug

      OTOH, there’s going to be a metric fuckton of master and doctoral level theses written on this administration.

      • William

        ‘Scuze me. This is ‘Murica, and we don’t use that metric shit. Please convert your commie metric fuckton to English.

      • William

        It will run the gambit from Constitutional law to Phycology….lots and lots of Phycology. In fact, I envision classrooms everywhere that assignments illicit the instantaneous raising of hands by an entire class, with the instructors instantaneous response “…and no you can’t use Donald Trump as an example”. Then the ensuing mass groaning. Come to think of it, this sounds like the makings of a good script.

      • I was thinking this just this AM

      • miss_grundy

        And some will also be written in psychology as well because why should historians and political scientists have all the fun…..

    • Boscoe

      Handouts of the electoral college map are being translated into Arabic as we speak…

  • cmd resistor

    The Turkey goon video with prez watching was scary.

  • Internet Hitler

    Donald misses his boyfriend with all the medals and it’s so unfair!

    http://thebea.st/2qrAR5O?source=email&via=desktop

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      That link is the main page. Which Flynn story? I assume he misses Flynn.

  • natoslug

    President Johnson is what I call my penis, so Dwayne has to settle for being the fourth.

    • phoenix00

      “You will pass this law, you rudey-poo, IF YOU SMELLLLLLLL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING”

  • Internet Hitler

    GOP WTF well put

    https://nyti.ms/2ryfrl4

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Yeah, well written, but nothing new.

  • eyelashviper

    It has been reported that an additional plane will be required for the Hoofwanker’s first visit to the ME and Europe. A cargo plane will accompany the Presidential party, equipped with a kitchen installed by KFC, with enough chicken, mashed taters, and gravy to feed the Shitgibbon for a week. Diplomatic staff have not yet figured out how to enable the Cockwomble to sneak his bucket into state dinners.

    • UnsaltedSinner
      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        My preschool daughter had a nap every day at 2 p.m. With her blanky.

      • Boscoe

        Wait… that whole steak & ketchup meme is REAL? I thought that was just the witty comical jokes! WTF. Seriously.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Well someone has to eat the Trump Steaks ™.

        • To be perfectly honest, I can understand the steak thing. Some people don’t have very strong stomachs and may be able to try local cuisine but need a standby in case they can’t handle it. There are certain places I would go but would want to take some of my favourite food with me just in case.

          The rest is just pure pandering to Trump’s laziness. Trump said Hillary didn’t have the stamina to be President? Please!

          • miss_grundy

            She had more stamina in her little left toe than this guy has in his whole body. And she would have prepared mightily for these meetings.

        • miss_grundy

          And he happens to like his steak well done. I mean I have my steak medium rare at a restaurant and they look at me funny.

      • TakingAmes

        Jeebus. Isn’t it insulting to refuse to eat the host’s food? Fucking toddler-in-chief.

      • miss_grundy

        World leaders will be missing Bamz at those meetings. Lordy, this man is giving our country the shaft. The office of the presidency of the U.S. will be in tatters by the time he finishes with it.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      My grandmother would put the fried chicken in paper bags when we would go to sportsball games after church on Sundays. Somehow, I don’t see that working for them.
      Some of my favorite memories of childhood. The paper would soak up the grease and the chicken would be crispy. Potato chips and chocolate chip cookies. My grandpa (Big Daddy) would have a big thermos of “co-cola” and by the seventh inning, it would be watery from the melted ice but still cold. Big Daddy would always sing the National Anthem and Take Me Out To The Ballgame. Back in those days, a general admission seat was 35 cents for kids and 50 cents for adults. The Braves sucked so bad, we could have moved closer, but my grandparents were honest people. The treat was that they would give us each a dollar to spend. My brothers would always buy ice cream or cracker jacks, but I would buy a program and keep score.
      I miss them.

      • Yr. Gma

        The paper bag trick with the chicken always works. What great memories you have!

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        El Dad is one of the few people I know who like to keep score at baseball games… it’s fun to watch him do it, and it makes me feel like I’m a part of the game we’re watching.

      • TakingAmes

        I miss the old school Atlanta Braves. I watched them with my granddad too.

    • C4TWOMAN

      So none of that foreign food, eh?
      What’s the point of traveling if you don’t try new things?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Indeed.

      • miss_grundy

        He’s lived in Manhattan for the better part of forty years and he has never visited any of the museums or attended the Philharmonic, the ballet, the opera or theatre. And it isn’t as if he can’t afford the tickets.

    • miss_grundy

      And don’t forget he gets a Diet Coke and TWO scoops of ice cream….

      • phoenix00

        Trump Steaks. In Saudi Arabia.

  • SadDemInTex
    • Yr. Gma

      Good idea.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Yeah, except that Napoleon escaped from there.

        • miss_grundy

          But didn’t they jail him there again when they caught him? My French history is a little fuzzy.

          • Bitter Scribe

            They didn’t exactly “catch” him. After escaping Elba, he re-entered France, rallied the army to his side, and took on England at Waterloo. The English, led by Wellington, defeated and recaptured him. This time they did it right, sticking him on St. Helena, a tiny island in the middle of the South Atlantic, where he lived out his days.

          • miss_grundy

            Thank you. I had forgotten that St. Helena was after Elba. And stupid me, that Waterloo was his final defeat. D’uh.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      All those in favor?

      *is deafened by “ayes”*

    • miss_grundy

      Only if they leave him there so he can see Napoleon’s remains for the rest of his life.

  • Doug Langley

    BREAKING NEWS: that one job that’s in a nearby town and would pay really well and could lead to a perm? Finally got ahold of the recruiter and he tells me it’s “put on hold”. In other words, they changed their fucking minds and not hiring after all. Options running out.

    • Steve Cole

      1) Recruiters lie
      2) That firm w/the patriotic US name is not located in the USA
      3) Rate open = rate low
      4) Urgent requirement = resume bait
      5) Skills a, b, c, d (turbo boomerang 1.5 a plus) = we need the best liar
      6) We took your awesome resume and pasted someone else name on it
      7) Recruiters lie (on Friday 2x)

      • Doug Langley

        My experience is that the companies lie more than recruiters. After all, the recruiter doesn’t make money if I don’t. But spot on with all your other points.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        5-a) Must have five years experience in three year old technology.

    • Bitter Scribe

      The last interview I had required me to drive all the way downtown from an exurb and pay $27 to park. A month later, they told me they decided not to fill the position. That pissed me off worse than if they had given it to someone else.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Yeah, all the jobs in the paper are about 50 miles away.

    • whitroth

      Um, er, yeah. Eight years ago, when I was last looking, the upshot was I had to fucking relocate *again*, from Chicago to DC (and I’m a very experienced techie….)

    • phoenix00

      Oh GDI…. sorry to hear that…..

  • cmd resistor

    One of the Kurdish women attacked in that protest has been trying to get Trump to do something about it via Twitter.
    http://www.dailykos.com/stories/2017/5/19/1664038/-As-Trump-remains-silent-victims-of-Turkish-guard-attack-in-D-C-beg-for-justice-on-Twitter

  • aureolaborealis
  • whitroth

    The blame game? Is that like,
    Wasn’t me, banana fanna fo-firly, not me!

  • miss_grundy

    In his meetings with the Russkies, it appears that Dolt 45 called Comey a “nut job” and that his firing relieves “great pressure”.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/19/us/politics/trump-russia-comey.html?emc=edit_na_20170519&nl=breaking-news&nlid=3460318&ref=headline&_r=0

    • Internet Hitler

      LOTS to unpack here. I’m shocked (shocked!) that Trump would LIE to the Russians.

      Comey fired before meeting because Trump thought it would end investigation and Trump would look good to Russians.

      Trump was under great pressure (true) because of fake investigation (false), but he got rid of the pressure (false) by firing Comey, and now there’s no investigation (FALSE).

      Thanks to me that crazy man is gone, comrades, so we can get on with lifting sanctions and raking in $billions through the oily back door!

      Spicer: Comey was grandstanding so that poor Mr. Trump couldn’t make peace with Russia! (FALSE)

      Unnamed official: LYING was just a SMART (false) tactic (false) so Trump could get what he wants (always true).

      Also, the White House wouldn’t be FORCED to lie constantly (as a smart tactic) if it wasn’t for all the leaks of information – that becomes lies when the media repeats it!

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