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What’s that long curly wire thing coming out the end of her phone, though?

So you know how Donald Trump and the Republicans keep fibbing that all the insurers are fleeing the ACA and its health insurance marketplaces are in a “death spiral” (which is not actually the case, really). While it’s true that some insurance companies have pulled out of some areas, the number of counties left with no insurance options is quite small — although in Tennessee, for instance, things are not so good, as FactCheck.orgacknowledges:

the state’s insurance commissioner, Julie Mix McPeak, said last August that the state’s ACA market was “very near collapse.” Matters have grown worse since, when Humana announced it would cease offering ACA policies in 2018. That would leave people in 16 of the state’s 95 counties without any ACA option next year, unless some other insurer steps in.

The FactCheck article points out, however, that Tennessee’s situation is not typical; other states are actually experiencing growth in the marketplaces. And now, just to demonstrate that maybe there are better ideas than eliminating coverage for more than 24 million Americans and encouraging cheap insurance that doesn’t really cover anything, Senator Claire McCaskill is offering — get this! — a market-based solution for those relatively few areas where insurers may pull out of the marketplace for individual plans altogether: She’s introducing a bill that would allow people in such counties to purchase health insurance on the Washington DC exchange. The Missouri Democrat is basically borrowing an idea from the Republican playbook — Rs have called for health insurance to be sold across state lines (the problem there would be that the market would rush to states allowing the crappiest coverage possible). McCaskill’s bill, on the other hand, is designed to patch a particular short-term problem in certain insurance markets, providing a fallback for consumers whose local options have dried up due to the vagaries of the insurance business.

McCaskill’s proposal

would let individuals in counties with no insurance options on the individual Marketplace purchase insurance through “DC Health Link” where most Members of Congress and congressional staff purchase insurance. After passage of the Affordable Care Act, Senators, Representatives, and staff were removed from the insurance program available to federal employees, and required that they purchase their coverage through exchanges like the rest of the country.

Members of Congress, and their staffs, have the option of buying insurance on the DC exchange with the same subsidized plans available to small businesses; it’s not altogether clear whether McCaskill’s plan would allow individuals to use that model, or simply have them purchase plans similar to what individuals living in DC would purchase, where any subsidy would be keyed to their income. Either way, purchasers would be able to get insurance again without losing the ACA’s essential health benefits or its protections for people with preexisting conditions.

And no, it’s not really the best solution, which would be Medicare for All, or at the very least a public option. But it’s not intended to be a universal solution: It’s clearly meant as an answer to those who see problems in the way the ACA works and insist the only solution is to toss the whole system, even if that means millions would lose their coverage. Destroy Obamacare? Why not fix the parts that need fixing instead? Oh, look, here is one creative solution for one problem area. It even lets people buy insurance across state lines! Now, how about we fix this thing and help people? Bet there are other creative solutions to other problems in the ACA, too!

McCaskill has done something very smart here for the healthcare debate, putting out a real solution to one problem area in the ACA. It’s a hell of a nice starting point, and demonstrates that the choice isn’t blowing up the ACA or keeping it exactly as it is. Now all we have to do is wait for Republicans to explain that selling insurance across state lines (from an exchange that’s good enough for Congress) can never work, now that a Democrat has proposed it.

Now let’s take a break until the 6 p.m. reporting witching hour, and call this your OPEN THREAD.

Yr Wonkette is always in search of creative funding solutions, too, like asking you, the reader, to give us money. Get to it, bucko: click the “Donate” clicky or we’ll make Louis Gohmert your doctor.

[Claire McCaskill on Facebook / FactCheck.org / WaPo / New Yorker]

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  • DrBigHead

    An open thread at 12:45 PDT? Do you know something we don’t? Liker all hell is going to break loose this afternoon?

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Perhaps this is the cue to start building our couch cushion and pillow forts.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i’ll be right back with the alky-hol.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I’m thinking of buying some extra cushions & pillows for that. I keep having to re-assemble the couch.

        • chazmanr

          I keep having to reassemble my TV. This Trump presidency is going to do wonders for the consumer electronics retailers.

    • dslindc

      I assume it means we should get drunk now instead of waiting for hell to break loose.

      • DrBigHead

        Does this mean you have had a chance to sober up from yesterday?

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Damnit! We just had the office milestone light snacks and drinky thingy. If I had none sooner, I would’ve gotten plastered before coming back to my desk.

      • Major_Major_Major

        Get drunk now? I haven’t been sober since November.

    • Turgid Love Skwerl

      You heard the lady: PANTS OFF!

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      is our wonkette’s learning?

      Split shift is not so bad.

    • Yr. Gma

      We must adjust to our new world as it is.

    • Chris

      I don’t know if it means anything but my Costco flyer keeps giving survival supplies prime space and Amazon keeps giving equal time to survival supplies and kindles.

      • DrBigHead

        OK, they are two of the most successful retail companies on the planet. They did not get to where they are without being able to accurately predict need/demand. Now I AM terrified!

        • Chris

          The real question is are they preying on our understandable anxiety or is there something Bezos and Brotman know that we don’t?

    • chazmanr

      News happens in the east before it does in the west due to the time zone differences. Wait a few hours until you hear what happened!!!
      /s

  • The Wanderer

    It does sound like a smart solution, if the public option’s still off the table.
    And pardon me for second-guessing you, Dok, but it’s 3:46 PM Eastern, and President Fathead’s going to have a nooz conference. Do you really want to open a thread this early?

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Monmouth University Poll:

    “Should the Russia investigation continue or should it end?”
    Continue/end: 73/24

    Who are these 24%?
    OOH! OOH! OOH!
    Horshack?
    America hating, Trump loving, Putin sucking, Fox watching, Confederate flag waving, assholes.

    • The Wanderer

      Pretty much, yeah.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      That’s actually encouraging, because that 24% has to include some who give a shit about Trump, but just like Russia a lot, for whatever reason. We used to peg the RWNJ contingent at about 27%. Looks like Trump is (unintentionally) reducing their numbers…

      • GoutMachine

        Yeah, and yesterday the Wonkettz had a story with his approval rating at 38%. So there is some kind of Venn diagram thing going on.

        • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

          Forget it Jake, it’s Politicstown…

        • Lascauxcaveman

          You don’t have hate Trump to want to see how the investigation(s) pan out. Some folks just want the facts before they make a judgment. You know, the same folks who were undecided late last October when Comey jizzed out the “oh, yeah, we’re looking at more emails” thing, yet again.

          These people are fucking morons, of course, but they are American voters, too, apparently.

        • eka

          yeah, there’s the bit that supports trump because for some reason they actually like him, the bit that just hates eveyone not white, the bit that hates democrats. Such a diverse group of individuals, all united by hatred.

    • maxneanderthal

      Weirdly, around 24% seems to be the ceiling for troll numbers in most countries. It’s all the neo-nazis can ever achieve, simply because if there were a higher proportion, civilisation would collapse under the weight of idiocy…

      • OddMan

        IIRC Nixon when he resigned had about 24% approval.

    • grindstone

      As the liberal redneck (Trae Crowder) has pointed out, there are folks who love their country less than loving to piss of libruls. They’ll double down with Trump as he burns their house down, just so their liberal neighbor will choke on the smoke for 15 minutes.

  • dslindc
  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I need a break from people asking me if I remember the Mt. St. Helens eruption.

    • Yr. Gma

      Well, do you?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Not really; I was 5. I vaguely recall Mom not letting us go outside to play.

    • Blueb4sunrise

      Wait. What?

      • godsaidHA

        37 years ago yesterday. I remember it.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Good evening, I’m Cousin Itt, and you’re not. Our top story tonight: Generalissimo Roger Ailes is still dead.

    Thanks, Obamacare!

    • dslindc

      And now with weather, over to aptly-named, Lingering Showers. Lingering?

      • Turgid Love Skwerl

        You must be getting that crappy weather I sent you yesterday!

        • dslindc

          No, it’s actually hot and humid in the DC area today.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            Snowing like hell in Colorado.

          • willi0000000

            do you mean it finally froze over?

            [ hot damn . . . lotsa things gonna happen soon ]

    • Cats for Clinton

      Ailes, RIP. Died from a fall. Not so fair and balanced after all.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Oh, creative trolling. Me likey…

  • Chadwells

    I still do not fully trust McCaskill after the Interior stream rule bullshit. She and Manchin…

  • Jenny

    Open thread with no Chris Cornell? Hmph!

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i see they’re calling it suicide.

      I was never into any of his bands, but he was a force in the 90’s to be sure. (The number of times black hole sun got played on MTV was astounding).

      • Jenny

        I don’t care that I am a lady, I want to sing like Chris Cornell.

    • Miss Dill

      I’m an oldz, and I loved Chris Cornell. So sad that this was his end…he was a really talented guy.

  • lucidamente

    Say, you know who blocked single payer when he was in the Senate?

  • Proud Liberal

    The AHCA is NOT a healthcare plan. It’s a tax cut for the wealthy plan.

    • dslindc

      And a fuck the poors plan, also too.

      • willi0000000

        isn’t everything?

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Over/under on number of times Trump snarls like a cornered chihuahua?

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    sorry dok, the ACA’s got “obama” all over it. Time to pitch the whole tub out and start with something reaaallly terrible.

  • Ha, you can’t fix a problem in a law, you stoopid libtards… It either has to be 100% perfect and effective in every way, or it’s a burdensome regulation that needs to go and let us all return to the free market which is always 100% effective at solving problems.

  • Chadwells

    Pig mother fuckers. Why do they have to be such fucking cunts.

    “Why Disturbing Leaked Video Of Texas Cops May Be Relevant To Jordan Edwards’ Killing”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/balch-springs-jordan-edwards_us_591de098e4b03b485cafab2f?ir=Politics&utm_hp_ref=politics

    • Proud Liberal

      I don’t know what is going on in this country but it needs to stop. These fuckers think they can do anything to anybody (except the rich).

      • Chadwells

        For real. How this revelation will impact the Edwards case will be shocking. The cop who killed Jordan will get off by blaming his training….the guy who trained killer cop will either get reprimanded or fired. No one will go to jail and the family will not get justice. It’s fucking gross and horrible!

  • marxalot

    Does too much coffee make anyone else feel weirdly like they’re going to cry for no reason? It never happens, but I’ve had the pre-tears feeling for a while now.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I get that feeling not just from coffee, but from life; mix caffeine with life these days and you’ll get teary, ragey, and shaky.

      • eka

        I get the feeling from people being overly sharey. My eyes actually fill with tears and it happened in a meeting the other day. I made a jokey comment then said seriously how much we care about open access resources and the people we were talking with started going on about how we have these values in common and my eyes filled with tears. I also get embarrassed tears when watching scenes in movies where people reveal their feelings publicly.

    • timpundit

      Personally I’ve never had too much coffee. At this point in my addiction it doesn’t even affect me. I can drink a 10 cup pot of coffee and still fall asleep soon after.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Yeah, I’ve had that before. It’s a freaky feeling.

    • Crystalclear12

      Did you leave the whiskey out?

  • Crystalclear12

    Enjoying a story about a Missourian that doesn’t make me cringe!

    There are so few😢

    • eka

      My grandma was from Missouri. She was a christian scientist ballerina who moved to New York at 18 but couldn’t earn a living from ballet so ended up being a model instead and then married the son of german immigrants who was 20 years older than her in the 1940s and moved to rural pennsylvania. I’m not sure if that makes you cringe or not, but it’s a story.

  • Yeah but Ailes just went before the Death Panel and lost.

  • dslindc

    As has been rumored all day – now official:

    https://twitter.com/Reuters/status/865289415391936512

    • WotsAllThisThen

      But he was doing such a good job, what with his Trump investigation and supporting Trump and everything!

    • elviouslyqueer

      Like rats fleeing the Titanic. Or, put another way, BUH BYE BITCH.

    • marxalot

      Bye, Felicia.

    • Wild Cat

      And the obligatory:

      ManOManOChaffetz!

    • Representin’ just ain’t any fun when people are gonna hold you responsible for stuff.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Okay, Walnuts just said Democrats don’t think Lieberman has enough experience: he says, “Screw them.” They just said it on MSNBC.
    Okay, grandpa, we’ll get off your damn lawn, just take your Metamucil and try to relax.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Am I reading this right? Trump is going to hold a news conference today? Is Colbert making popcorn?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      He can barely read…

  • dslindc
  • Donkey Option

    Okay – random rant. I am so annoyed by people blaming government because business is awful. It’s not the ACA that causes insurers to go out of the market, they just don’t feel like they’re making enough money. In CT, we have had a bunch of businesses leave because they don’t want to pay taxes. They go to states with lower minimum wage and lower taxes, and people blame our government because they should basically roll over and play dead to keep the companies here. But do the company’s get any blow-back for trying to screw over the state and the workers? No, of course not. Screw that.

    • Clyde Barrow

      Ditto that for California. It’s never the businesses fault for poor business tactics, high employee turnover, and other factors such as bad marketing, investing, et cetera. It’s a convenient Red Herring to blame it on worker’s rights, healthcare, and taxes/regulation.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Race to the bottom.

  • jowgajen

    So — Chaffed Ass, like wtf? A 2 year commitment to serve in Congress isn’t really that long. We can’t even make it 25% of the way through? Whut?

    • Donkey Option

      He’s been taking classes from Palin?

      • Chris

        He attended the Newt School for Adherence to Government Oaths.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I hate ChaffedShitz but I must admit that the thought of spending 19 more months defending Lord Dampnut would make me want to gargle bleach.

    • Wild Cat

      Mormon Code for Moroni’s Politicians:

      Lie. Steal. Bang Up a Binder Woman. Run.

    • cmd resistor

      Yep, I’ll serve till I get a better deal, and then you guys can pay for a new election and all to fill the seat.

  • goonemeritus

    The problem with the proposal is that insurance companies need to set up networks of healthcare providers in the areas they cover. This is expensive and difficult. There are presently cases where by law insurance is allowed to be sold across State lines but no insurance companies are doing it for this very reason. This Republican talking point is now and has always been total unalloyed horseshit.

    • Jenny

      Yeah all the doctors in DC won’t help anyone. But why are all the insurers moving out? Too many poor sick people they can’t profit on?

      • goonemeritus

        If the ACA has one problem it is that the penalties for not being covered are not severe enough. This causes people to roll the dice and go without insurance. The way they look at it they will pay the penalty which is way cheaper than the policy. What you are left with is a pool of higher cost patients. The way everyone should look at it is you need to cover some of the cost of insurance in your later years by buying insurance when you are young. Just like saving for retirement.

        • Chris

          Uh, have you seen how few people actually save for retirement?

          • goonemeritus

            my point, trying to do it when 58 doesn’t work

  • anon_the_great

    Julie Mix McPeak

    Oh fer fuck’s sake! That ain’t no Christian name; It’s a fuckin porn non de plume.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Hey!

    • MrTusks

      Nom de poon?

  • Joe Beese

    It’s like Anne Frank writing that people are basically good.

    Several sources close to Flynn and to the administration tell The Daily Beast that Trump has expressed his hopes that a resolution of the FBI’s investigation in Flynn’s favor might allow Flynn to rejoin the White House in some capacity—a scenario some of Trump’s closest advisers in and outside the West Wing have assured him absolutely should not happen.

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2017/05/18/donald-trump-talked-michael-flynn-into-white-house-job

    • Jenny

      A guy can dream I guess?

    • jesterpunk

      Please bring Flynn back, actually do it right now. What are you waiting for Turnip, call him.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Maybe Flynn can be in charge of keeping Russia and Turkey informed of our national security secrets. Or is that Trump’s job now?

      • Major_Major_Major

        That informin’ to Papa Pooty-poot really eats in to his MAGAbating time.

  • msanthropesmr

    I’m not home yet. This can’t be the open thre@d!

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Never mind that the reason insurers are pulling out of certain state exchanges is because the GOP has introduced such uncertainty into the marketplace that they’re afraid they won’t get paid by the government or even know if the ACA will be around next year.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    If the GOP can’t muster a legitimate-sounding criticism of her proposal, they’ll ignore it and change the subject if it comes up. Because they don’t want to help people; what they want is a healthcare marketplace that adheres to their beloved principles of “freedom”, “choice” and “competition”. People can go fuck themselves.

    • jesterpunk

      Tax cuts for the rich.

    • “People” are those on the Board of Directors. Everyone else is “resources”.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    WHEW that was close, y’all. I almost didn’t get to the mute button in time to not hear Dolt 45 open his piehole and spew bafflegab and butthurt all over everything.

  • Crystalclear12
  • Apple Scruff

    Waiting for the Orange King’s press conference and for the first time ever, I can’t wait to hear him speak.

  • Joe Beese

    Benjamin Wittes, close friend of James Comey who tweeted ‘tick tick tick tick tick tick’ before the NYT story dropped Tuesday, just tweeted it again fifteen minutes ago.

    http://www.metafilter.com/167031/It-has-been-0-days-since-the-last-Trump-disaster#7034041

    https://twitter.com/benjaminwittes/status/865292097259261952

    • The Wanderer

      Oh, shit. And I was cooking ribs for tonight.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      CAN’T YOU JUST TELL US WHAT IS HAPPENING???

    • IOnlyLikeCats
      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Chris and the rest probably have that Tweet answer on speed dial and just direct it to new sources offering oblique references to tantalizing info, with peak use between 4 and 6 p.m. Eastern.

    • GoutMachine

      Have a work dinner. Bet your ass Imma keep my phone charged up.

    • SweetDeeKat

      Stuff does appear to drop around 6 p.m. Eastern. Still pondering the timing. In my earlier years, federal warrants would be served before sunrise and after sunset, approximately.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        that apparently when they like to executive search warrants of people’s homes too.

        Just sayin’.

    • NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOICANTTAKEITANYMORE

      • GoutMachine

        But it’s fun! It’s like Christmas every day!

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          more like drunken debauchery at midnight on New year’s eve…

          • GoutMachine

            True – we even get a countdown to 6 p.m.!

    • Meccalopolis

      Bohica

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I haven’t been able to figure out why the ACA and insurance companies want to know what county I live in before they will give me a quote. Does it matter if I live in Armpit, Missouri, which is a large regional medical center in Soybean County, or in Groin, Missouri, which is 20 miles away and in Mud County, and most of whose residents drive to Armpit to work and for medical care? We’re 20 miles apart, what the fuck difference does it make?

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      They need to make sure you’re not in Earlobe, MO, which is 200 miles away, and served by a completely different network of doctors.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Yeah, I get that, but honestly every time you go to the ACA website, or an insurance company website, they ask you to enter your zip code. If I enter 12345 for North Armpit, it asks me to choose whether I live in Soybean County or next door Mud County, the border of which is actually only 13 miles west. Mud County isn’t even in the 12345 zip code. One day I’m going to choose Mud County and see what happens.

        • Indivisible Snark Tank

          Might also be an “anti-bot” protection.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Might be, but then they all have the same anti-bot software, because they ALL make me choose between Soybean and Mud counties, when there are 7 other counties that border Soybean County, all of which are about the same distance from Armpit. They never put Hog, Tornado, Tractor, Septic, Plow, Cedar or Poison Ivy Counties on the pull-down list, only Soybean and Mud Counties. It always makes me wonder if it has something to do with the fact that there is a nuclear power plant in Mud County, but I am reluctant to engage in that level of conspiracy theory.

          • It’s not. It’s how insurance companies set up their risk pools.

    • It’s because the plans are organized by county. So i live in cook county in IL and we have 38 plans available to us. The insurance companies have priced out the risk pool for cook and have priced their plans accordingly. Lake county – less than 20 miles away from me – has an different set of plans based on their different population (older, whiter, likely sicker)

  • Ms. Fudge
    • jesterpunk

      Will Toby play his super patriotic song about how much of a tough guy he is?

      • Ms. Fudge

        AOT,K

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        is it just me picturing a bunch of saudi’s standing in the audience in those long robe things, looking at each other, asking, “what the ever loving fuck is this? And they think WE’RE weird.”

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      But then men will only have each other to harass!

    • ManchuCandidate

      Sausage Fest 17!

      • jesterpunk

        So its going to be another GOP women’s healthcare meeting?

  • laughingnome

    Trump sounds like he’s ready for the home.

  • ManchuCandidate

    There are better options like single payer the way they do in hell hole furriner communist socialist nazi lands like Canada City. Not so much a viable political option, thanks to dicks like the Koch Brothers and the Chamber of Commerce.

    Mccaskill’s plan is less shitty than the “Kill’em all and let the mortuary sort’em out” AHCA bill.

  • Clyde Barrow

    ‘Death Spiral’ is my favorite non-released Tom Clancy novel. The story of a nincompoop in the Executive office who does more and more damage to his own administration each day than any liberal politician or media outlet could ever hope to accomplish, the ending is a twisted warning yet delightful tale of narcissistic rage and the downfall of Western confidence. 4.5/5 stars.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Sounds fascinating. Does the movie version star Alec Baldwin?

      • Clyde Barrow

        Yes, but since he’s outgrown the role of Jack Ryan, he’s tackling the lead role as “Ronald T. Rump”. Should be good.

    • mailman27

      Florid prose, poorly written? I’m all in!!

  • BearGHAZI

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/400a916feb01a574e1602365f551165846d7c34bd2cc4aff97836a89bd7c2def.jpg

    TRUMP IS THE BLACK WORM EATING THE HEART OF THE REALM! DARKNESS WAS HIS FATHER, AND DEATH HIS MOTHER! DESTROY HIM BEFORE HE CORRUPTS YOU ALL! DESTROY THEM ALL, QUEEN WHORE AND KING WORM, VILE DWARF AND WHISPERING SPIDER, THE FALSE FLOWERS. SAVE YOURSELVES!

    • The Wanderer

      Why are you reading out my resume?

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Trump with Colombia prez: “The Wall”.

    DRINK.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    WHy is 45 emphasizing “hemispheres” now?

    • New vocab word for him and he wanta to show off?

    • Joe Beese

      “The Western Hemisphere… just terrific. Easily one the top three hemispheres.”

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        He finds this meal “shallow and pedantic”.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Right up there with the Northeastern hemisphere and the San Antonio Hemisphere.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          ’68 HemisFair libel.

          Yes, I was there. I was a kid, and it was cool.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      It’s his favorite Rush album? No, it’s his the favorite Rush album of the last adviser he talked to.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The only way the ACA goes into a “death spiral” is if the GOP drives it into the ditch with tax cut tinkering for the parasite overclass.

    • Clyde Barrow

      Precisely the GOP plan.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Has Dolt 45 declared war on Germany yet?

  • Joe Beese

    I feel much better.

    Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-S.C.) is expected to become the next chairman of the House Oversight Committee, replacing Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) in the high-profile post when he leaves Congress late next month, according to multiple senior House Republicans.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/05/18/trey-gowdy-oversight-chairman-jason-chaffetz-238568

    • elviouslyqueer

      Oh yay. MOAR BENGHAZI HEARINGS.

    • Clyde Barrow

      Trey Gowdy is the human equivalence of genital herpes.

      • willi0000000

        flop sweat with shoes on.

      • Parakeetist

        He looks like a pimple.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I can picture the hearings now.

      Gowdy: “Does the witness know of any collusion?”

      Witness: “No sir.”

      Gowdy: “Well that’s good enough for me. Investigation complete.”

    • Carole

      Boy Howdy.

      • Meccalopolis

        Gowdey doody

  • jowgajen
    • jesterpunk
      • Meccalopolis

        I will always love this

        • Michael Smith

          Seriously. When the Whitney Houston song comes on, I think about my feelings toward this meme.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Trump: “Does anybody have any questions?”

    Room erupts with laughter.

  • Apple Scruff

    Deflect deflect!!!

    • Crystalclear12

      Deflector at maximum but it’s not holding!

  • Joe Beese

    “I believe it hurts our country terribly,” Trump told network anchors during a luncheon Thursday afternoon at the White House. “Because it shows we’re a divided, mixed-up, not-unified country. And we have very important things to be doing right now, whether it’s trade deals, whether it’s military, whether it’s stopping nuclear — all of the things that we discussed today.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/05/18/donald-trump-russia-probe-hurts-country-238566

    As you know: The nuclear, very very importnat.

    • We have to stop it! At all costs!

    • Major_Major_Major

      Did he forget the cyber? WHAT ABOUT THE CYBER???!!?!?!?!/1/?!/?!?!

    • WeaselPoo

      Bigly importnat. The nuclear and the stopping and all of the things.
      I know we’d all like to see Trump and Pence and the rest of them impeached and jailed etc ASAP, but part of me wants to see Trump get through just one State of The Union. . .

      • Lascauxcaveman

        I admit, Drumpf is not a terrific extemporaneous speaker. But he’s improving. He’s advanced to the point where he can very nearly converse in complete sentence fragments.

    • DrBigHead

      I heard he was caught ranting at those goddamn electrons to stop their continual fidgeting about.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Yeah, the nucular is important, but what about good, ole fashioned steam?

  • not_vh

    kind of amazing the presnit is in a foreign country, and the first question is about his scandal.

    OT. believe him america first.

  • Chadwells

    Any bets Fuckface appoints Lieberman for FBI director just before he boards his plane for Europe/Middle east cluster fuck?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Is Lieberman senile enough to accept?

      • Chadwells

        Ohhhh yeah.

  • Major_Major_Major

    I can’t wait to see what the 6 PM dickstomping is gonna be today.

  • Apple Scruff

    ‘Venezuela is the richest country in your neck of the woods.”

    You mean South America, you dumb fuck?

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      “And now the weather, in your neck of the woods.”

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    So, he “respects” the special “council”, but it’s a witch hunt at the same time.

    Who respects a witch hunt?

    • Blackest Noobs

      a dick.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        He does have more dick in his personality than in his pants. No one can deny that.

        • He could be the world’s nicest man and that would still be true…

        • Indivisible Snark Tank

          “People are saying that.”

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Everyone. The best people.

    • not_vh

      precisely. what a non answer

    • ariel_gee_398

      I believe you’ll find the correct spelling of this usage is “councel”.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        I knew I’d get it wrong, but I just went with it.

      • vivian

        I thought it was “coinsel”

    • NastyBossetti

      People who hate witches.

    • Daniel Hooper
      • BWilliamson

        Mistake

    • whitroth

      a) That’s “Special Counsel”, as in “counselor” (aka lawyer).
      b) I certainly don’t, give that some of my best friends are Witches…..

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      The Spanish Inquisition?

  • Joe Beese

    “Believe me. There was no collusion. Russia is fine.”

    This is a thing that was said.

  • not_vh

    walls work. ask israel.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Did they pay off President Santos to never stfu?

  • Blackest Noobs

    yep….i am sticking with my prediction…resignation on July 4, 2017:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=44&v=1y_NKinzdPw

    • Apple Scruff

      Tony is a national treasure.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I don’t think he’ll resign unless someone tells him his criminal activity will get his assets frozen.

    • whitroth

      I’m thinking Aug 8 would be appropos, that being the anniversary of Tricky Dick resigning.

      But I read an article over lunch that suggested that given Orange’s attitudes, resignation’s not what he does.

      Though I suspect he would if he had surprise “medical issues”….

  • Apple Scruff

    Reporter didn’t even ask about Comey!

    Just dig a little deeper, Fanta Hitler. The IC is going to love this.

  • IOnlyLikeCats
  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    “The mind is a terrible thing and it must be stopped before somebody gets hurt”.. 45

  • not_vh

    doubling down on comey and throwing rod under the bus again.

    • cmd resistor

      So I read that Rosenstein told the Senate that he knew Comey was going to be fired when he wrote the memo.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    I’ve been getting my hairs cut for the past couple of hours, so I don’t know if this was posted elsewhere already. And like seriously. Was be born that way or just dropped on his head several times as a child with extreme malice? https://twitter.com/NoahShachtman/status/865283233877032960

    • WotsAllThisThen

      He’s just full of great ideas, isn’t he?

    • Ummm. Ok.

    • proudgrampa

      Was be born that way or just dropped on his head several times as a child with extreme malice?

      Yes.

      • cmd resistor

        Could that explain the hair?

  • Ryan Denniston

    This “Trump” fellow seems to be doing a really bad Alec Baldwin SNL impression.

    http://www.npr.org/2017/05/18/528989289/president-trump-holds-press-conference-with-columbias-president-before-overseas

  • Carole

    Claire is beloved in Holts Summit, MO.

  • Michael Smith

    Big Fox News story on Facebook right now is a lady police officer who is donating a kidney to a child in need.

    I mean, that’s wonderful and all, but I don’t think it means that we shouldn’t impeach Donald Trump, which is what Fox is trying to imply to its idiots.

    • GoutMachine

      Who’s this “Donald Trump”? – Fox

      • Michael Smith

        “Can you believe this liberal pinko commenter Michael Smith who said on Wonkette that the only reason we posted a feel-good story about a police officer is to remind our fanboys that the liberals hate police and that this hatred is completely unfair and unjustified, and that, therefore, everyone needs to keep supporting Trump?

        Just like a liberal to take something whole heartedly American and Christian and noble and good, and try to politicize it. Such a shame.”

        • whitroth

          But that’s ok, since Faux News is almost all Satanism, all the time, right?

          Wait, doesn’t that End Times ™ stuff say something about first comes the AntiChrist, who’ll lie and twist words and start wars and have orange skin?

  • Chadwells

    The Dutch have a king who likes to secretly fly commercial planes as a part time job….and we are stuck with a rancid Yam who shovels fast food into his shit hole as fast as he can. What interesting times we live in.

    “Dutch King Reveals Secret Life As Part-Time Pilot On KLM Airline”

    http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/05/18/528946937/dutch-king-reveals-secret-life-as-part-time-pilot-on-klm-airline

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I always liked KLM.

    • I heard this on the world last night and all I could think was ‘what a cool story and what a welcome relief from US america insanity’.

      We can’t we have nice things.

      • Chadwells

        I’m jealous too. Tragic.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      their king works a part time job for FUN, ours doesn’t even work full time at the job he has.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Santos looks like a constipated Munchkin.

    Which is appropriate, given that he’s standing next to Lord God King Full of Shit.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      You can’t spll Munchkin without Mnuchin

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Funny and also eerily true.

  • Apple Scruff

    This is Trump’s Greatest Hits playlist —

    Obamacare is Dead
    Comey was unliked
    Biggest Tax cut ever
    Bringing back so many jobs

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Electoral college victory
      Media enemy of people
      Huge inaugural crowd
      Normal hands

    • GoutMachine

      Biggest inauguration crowd? Have we heard that yet? (I can’t stand to watch that fuckhead)

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        oh god, he didn’t say that, did he? I was just saying 2 hours ago he had seemed to stop bringing that up.

        • cmd resistor

          Hey, he will get to spread it over all those countries on his trip, people who have never been so fortunate as to hear it addressed directly to them.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Have you seen my electoral map?

      • BreakingDeadMen

        No problems in that department, believe me.

  • Apple Scruff

    Again! “Countries close to you” to Columbian President.

    Does Trump not know what South America is?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      “South America is Mexico, right?”

      -DJT

    • whitroth

      Back around ’89, the Atlantic, I think it was, published a wraparound cover, with a map of the world in three colors: ok to send Dan Quayle, not ok to send Dan Quayle there, and “if Dan Quayle goes there, we’re in deep doo-doo”.

      Need one for Trumpolini….

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Is the Bermuda Triangle on the flightpath between Venezuela and Israel? Asking for a friend.

    • Turgid Love Skwerl

      No. But if we summon Miss Cleo she might be able to move it.

    • whitroth

      Y’know, on another blog, I was reading about him hitting the Vatican, Jerusalem, and Riyadh… and was tired, and misread that as the Vatican, Jerusalem, and R’lyeh, which seemed perfectly reasonable….

      • SweetDeeKat

        It’s nice to stop at the place where you were born.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        IO FTHGAN!

  • Vincent Ricola

    “..and the much more successful Trump campaign..”
    Drink!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • WotsAllThisThen

    “We don’t have healthcare in this country.”

    There’s a joke there but I’m at a loss.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      The joke is at the podium.

  • I could use some good HealthClaire

  • Turgid Love Skwerl

    Dear CNN,
    I don’t mean to be awful, but could you please give as much attention to the thousands deaths from car accidents that happen in the rest of America as you are devoting time to today? I mean are you going to have a graphics room to go over what happened?

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      They’ll probably create one of those 3-D walk through accident recreation scenes, much like the 3-D US map and other crap they used for the accident that was election night.

    • Wild Cat

      I’m half a mile away and if Wonkette didn’t report this, I and 578,987 people in my general vicinity wouldn’t know either.
      Cable TV is for frightened old pinheads.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        luckily texas builds big digital billboards on the highways to remind us to not text and drive, drive drunk, and to look twice for motorcycles.

        I mean, technically a big digital billboard is a distraction, but apparently we need it jammed into our brains.

        When I was going to school 4 days a week at 5 pm, i would ALWAYS see at least one person friggin texting at 70 mph on the busy freeways.

        • suziq

          You can go 70 on your freeways at rush hour? That is very impressive!

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            riiiiight up until there’s an accident.

            Then it’s backed up for miles. But yes…somepeople, being texans, even get on up to 90 mph.
            Like regularly, every day I saw that.

          • suziq

            Rush hour here is from 5-9am or so then about 3-7pm when it is very slow, like 20mph when you get going pretty good. Otherwise it is stop and go. Never going to get to 70 during those hours. Now that I don’t work any more it is a lot easier to plan around rush hour!

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            yeah, when i was working for that short time downtown, i could get away leaving as late as 1/2 hour before my report time…if the roads were clear.

            If there’s a wreck, you sometimes need an extra 20 or 30 on top of that. And in my short time, there were two wrecks in the same exact spot (on a flyover, so there was no easy way around it).

            Anyway, what you described is what san antonio and austin are like.

          • suziq

            That does make it hard to plan, doesn’t it? I usually leave a few minutes later than it I should to get there right on time if there aren’t any issues. Didn’t really work that well but that is kind of my ad habit.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            yes it does – do i leave at 8:15 and be there 20 minutes early? I probably should have. luckily, i never clocked in later than 4 minutes after.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    The 114-year-old automaker said Wednesday that it is cutting 1,400 nonfactory jobs in North America and the Asia Pacific region. The company will offer voluntary early retirement and separation packages to about 10% of its salaried workers in departments such as sales, marketing and human resources. It expects the actions to be complete by the end of September.

    The cuts are the biggest to Ford’s U.S. white-collar staff since 2007, when 7,200 workers took voluntary buyout packages.

    http://www.latimes.com/business/autos/la-fi-hy-ford-job-cuts-20170517-story.html

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Jobs are back, baby!

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        MAGA!

      • proudgrampa

        Economic Transcendance…

    • Michael R

      Thanks Obama

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      so when drumpf gets them to keep 150 workers, it’ll be a triumph!

    • whitroth

      Oh, sales, marketing, and HR. Can we get some social utility out of the last two? Like, bring them into the parking lot, toss asphalt on them, and PAVE THEM INTO THE ROADWAY?!

      Come the Revolution….

  • thewalkindude
    • WotsAllThisThen

      Grab him by the impeachment!

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      yep, dat dere’s a winner.

  • Chadwells

    Little Marko “Rubber-spine” Rubio has decided to throw his hat into the mix. Jerkoff.

    “Rubio on Trump’s ‘witch hunt’ tweet: ‘We’re a nation of laws'”

    http://thehill.com/policy/national-security/334122-rubio-on-trumps-witch-hunt-tweet-were-a-nation-of-laws

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      laws which your president seems keen on breaking or ignoring…routinely.

      • Chadwells

        and which none of them seem willing to do anything about!

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          maybe he was just making a non sequitorial (?) observation.

          • Chadwells

            That’d be my guess. Telephone tough guy scenario.

    • Rick Hill

      …”when we see no benefit from breaking them or defending someone who does.”

    • Ryan Denniston

      Any word on lyin’ Ted?

      • Chadwells

        I think he’s still icing his ass after Yates whooped it.

  • IOnlyLikeCats
    • SweetDeeKat

      Yes, because they are such a cohesive ball of mucus at present.

  • whitroth

    Chaffetz is saying that he and his wife are facing empty-nest, and are ready for a new chapter in their lives.

    Ah, yeah…. Rats. Sinking ship.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      This empty nest must have come on suddenly, since he didn’t see it coming last November. And with low monthly financing, there really isn’t a better time to buy an RV.

    • Rick Hill

      Ewww. It’s reproducing

    • Joe Beese

      Spending more time with one’s family: the last refuge of scoundrels

      • Rick Hill

        Funny…can’t remember anyone from Obama’s team that needed to use that excuse.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      SO, he’s literally saying he’s stepping down to “spent more time with” his family?

      • Donkey Option

        Isn’t he supposed to disappear for a few months and be discovered with his mistress down in Argentina before he does that?

      • Major_Major_Major

        Live boy for the win!

  • Apple Scruff

    Wait… did Trump not answer that woman’s question? That ended abruptly. Did I miss something?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Joe Beese

    So Trump is back to saying he fired Comey because of Hillary’s emails, I guess.

    “They liked that version better, didn’t they? OK, we’ll go with that one.”

    • jesterpunk

      It is nice of him to admit he is lying.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      and the Trumpanzees won’t blink an eye at the abrupt about face

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    So, he hasn’t just whipped it out and fapped to completion on the prez’s face. I guess that passes for “presidential” these days.

    • Joe Beese

      “By not jizzing on the Colombian leader’s face, Trump re-became President today.”

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    “I love your Santos™ tortilla chips. The best chips in my casinos.”

  • Ryan Denniston

    This is a positive step. Aside from the fact that the Republicans’ plan is nothing more than a tax cut, the clear problem is that there is no mechanism for delivering better health care. McCaskill does this by pinning people to the regulatory authority of DC. Hard to imagine DC turning hard right anytime soon.

  • elviouslyqueer

    For the record, I am unable with those tacky gold lame drapes.

  • Marion in Savannah

    OT, but I just can’t NOT let you all know that at the opening of his presser with the President of Colombia Our Fearless Leader just called on him to stop cocoa production. You CANNOT make this shit up, you know.

    • Chadwells

      Wait….whaaaaa? Seriously?!

    • GoutMachine

      BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

    • WotsAllThisThen

      It’s just that simple? Why didn’t Obama think of that?

    • janecita

      Did he really? ¡Ay Dios mío, que viejo más estúpido!

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        Como Frijoles?

        How have you bean?

    • Rick Hill

      This. Means. WAR!

    • janecita

      What does he have against chocolate?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      even if he had gotten the right plant, me thinks the Colombian’s would have said, “oh shit, we haven’t tried that in the 40 or 50 years we’ve been fighting the scourge of organized crime, murder, and corruption.”

      then a big sarcastic forehead slap.

    • Michael Smith

      I wish they would stop flooding our streets with delicious candies.

  • Donkey Option

    Okay, I need some ideas for names for this feeling I get when I’ve read more than 2 articles about 45 and am exhausted and just want to sleep and never wake up. I have been noticing lately that, even though I sleep a lot, I’m exhausted all the time, and it’s worse if I’m paying attention to the news. So, any catchy names I can use for it?

    • Joe Beese

      Cantevenitis?

      • Marion in Savannah

        DING, DING, DING! We have us a winna!

      • beatbort

        Freedumbness?

    • vivian

      Weltschmerz

    • Crystalclear12

      Stupidity fatigue?

    • Lambsendbeds

      Trumpolespsy?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        yes, i like it.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Epstein-Barre?

  • Major_Major_Major

    Ima no watching the dingleberry’s presser, but after all the post presser groin strikes, are the IC and the NYT/WaPo working together to give them just a little bit more rope erryday and watch the fucktards tie their own noose?

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
  • jesterpunk
    • Chadwells

      Woooowwwww. Photo and all….good grief.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Well… [waggles eyebrows] you know what they say about black men, right?

      (Sorry, really sorry… I’ll leave now…)

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Go on.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      See? She can’t be racist, she lets a Negro into her kitchen.

      • mailman27

        He was bustin’ up a chiffarobe.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Right on cue Putin’s poodle, Julian Assange, decides to enter the fray with more of his trademarked bullshit…

    https://www.balloon-juice.com/2017/05/17/wikileaks-jumps-in/

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Yup, they dumped that bullshit like RIIGHT after he was announced. The breitbart crowd tried to run with it this morning, but it went nowhere.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        The guy was doing his fucking job in an international criminal investigation of uranium theft- leave it to the mouth breathers to try to find something wrong with that

    • GreyWolfSC

      Isn’t Assange dead?

  • Ryan Denniston

    Okay, taking bets. What happens at 6? Flynn received even more previously disclosed payments than those from Turkey? How many other cabinet officials had contact with the Russians before the election? Who’s on the shortlist to replace the Spiceman? Will Trump tell NATO to pony up when he visits? Who knows? Republicans wanted unpredictable. Thanks Republicans.

    • Joe Beese

      Announcement of date for Comey open testimony.

      • Ryan Denniston

        What’s this, the fourth time he’s been there?

        • Joe Beese

          After the 5th visit, he’ll get a free coffee.

          • Ryan Denniston

            And a get out of jail free card.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            With six you get egg roll

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            Maybe Alec Baldwin will give him a robe.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Wednesday

    • Chadwells

      Lieberman nod for FBI director. Where is the odds board and what’s the bet?!?!

      • GreyWolfSC

        Zero? :D

    • Michael Smith

      President Trump is caught communicating with a hooded sith lord via a hologram.

    • therblig

      we woke up and bobby was still alive. it had all been a terrible dream.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      speaking of which, whatever happened to the raids at some GOP office that were supposed to be going down earlier this week or last week?

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        That was last week? Or ten years ago? What is time anymore?

        • Ryan Denniston

          Dunno, started drinking before 12.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Is there a good time to stop drinking anymore?

          • GoutMachine

            I just assumed he meant age 12.

          • Ryan Denniston

            There wasn’t in 1984.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Supposedly, another round of subpoenas are on the way

    • cmd resistor

      Maybe we’ll just find out what color ties he is packing for the trip.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Melanoma tries to shoot teh Donald, misses, hits Kislyak in the nuts, sets of an international incident in which North Korea fires a missile at us, which hits Phuket, where Angelina Jolie and her 37 children are vacationing, she goes crying to the UN, which assembles a multi-national force to come in and finally restore order here.

  • Wild Cat

    “And then I saw a shining city on a hill and I said to myself, ‘I wonder if I can take a shit on it?'”

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      “that looks like a good place for a golf course”

      • Donkey Option

        And I’ll make up a fictional battle to erect a monument to to make it look “historical.”

      • Ωbjectifier

        “I tell ya, golf courses and cemeteries are the biggest wastes of prime real estate”.
        – Al Czervik

    • cmd resistor

      Or fly my helicopter onto it.

  • Michael Smith

    In other news, Known Idiot Donald Trump is still President.

    • Crystalclear12

      Damn

    • Mumen Rider Justice CRASH!

      “Area man still president”

  • So, my watch just informed me that Roger Ailes has died?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Still dead, unless the zombie virus kicked in.

      • Rick Hill

        It’d be an improvement

      • GreyWolfSC

        FNC is still on the air, so yeah… zombie virus

    • vivian

      Your watch is running a little slow.

    • jesterpunk

      Chris Cornell died, he was more important then Ailes.

      • Parakeetist

        Yes.

    • Mumen Rider Justice CRASH!

      That’s cool. My watch is just an asshole lately.

  • Ωbjectifier

    What’s that long curly wire thing coming out the end of her phone, though?

    That’s a heavy duty charger.

  • Joe Beese

    I think that we really are starting to get into “constitutional crisis” territory. The constitution doesn’t tell us what to do when the executive and legislative branches are both corrupted. It’s not clear to me that a special prosecutor is going to be enough to fix everything, here… These guys still have all the power. …

    But I don’t see how we can get rid of everyone who was complicit in this. The rot goes too deep. It compromises the very foundations of our democracy. …

    We are going to need a Truth and Reconciliation Commission by the time this is all over.

    http://www.metafilter.com/167031/It-has-been-0-days-since-the-last-Trump-disaster#7034163

    • GoutMachine

      Time for History’s Greatest Monster, Jimmy Carter, to come in!

  • Marion in Savannah

    Because every now and then we really need some happy news, it turns out that ladybugs are origami masters in how they fold their wings:

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/18/science/ladybugs-wings-folding.html?_r=0

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • Donkey Option

      I thought we knew that? Or was it just something we all suspected? To be honest, I’m losing track here.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        We assumed it- Rosenstein just admitted to it in front of the entire Senate. So much for the boy king’s claims that he was following the advice of the DoJ.

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          I thought Trump flat-out said he’d already decided to fire Comey before talking to him. In the Lester Holt thing, I think.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            He did, but the WH was still clinging to the claim that Donnie was followed DoJ advice. This means that Rosenstein specifically wrote that recommendation knowing that it was already a fait accompli and that he was merely providing window dressing

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            Ah. A very fine distinction, but a distinction nevertheless. Thanks!

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Donnie has also started to backtrack on that statement today, in yet another case of perfect timing from the gang that couldn’t shoot straight

    • Beautiful Soup

      Of course Trump picks today to change his story and claim he fired comey because of Rosenstein’s letter. Genius.

  • Ryan Denniston
    • Beautiful Soup

      They wanted to come out while we still have Trump to kick around. We’ll never see his like again (please God).

  • hendenburg2

    Well, I think we know what the 6 PM post will be: Chaffetz is resigning in June

    Edit: this is also REALLY early for an open thread

    • SweetDeeKat

      Everyone is exhausted. It’s time for mind-altering substances.

    • JustDon’tSaySurety

      Trix & co. probably need a nap and a snack before the shoe-dropping hour.

  • Joe Beese

    What a turd bird.

    Former FBI Director James Comey might not be able to testify before Congress now that a special prosecutor is overseeing the FBI’s Russia investigation, Sen. Lindsey Graham said Thursday.

    Graham, who chairs a Judiciary subcommittee with oversight of the FBI, had sent an invitation earlier this week for Comey to testify in an open session.

    “I’m not so sure we can do it now,” the South Carolina Republican said. “You’ve got a special counsel who has prosecutorial powers now, and I think we in Congress have to be very careful not to interfere.”

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/05/18/james-comey-testify-congress-lindsey-graham-238557

    • jesterpunk

      So Miss Lindsay is trying to make an excuse for why they wont do anything?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        BINGO… “Oh, look! An excuse to be criminally negligent some more!”

      • GreyWolfSC

        Always!

    • Ryan Denniston

      Whatever shall we do? To the fainting couch!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Those pearls ain’t gonna clutch themelves

      • Marion in Savannah

        And don’t forget the smelling salts…

      • JustDon’tSaySurety

        seltzer boy! mint julep, chop-chop!

    • SayItWithWookies

      Gee, that doesn’t sound like flimsy cover for cowardice at all.

    • Mary Sandoras

      Wait, didn’t they have about 3 investigations into Hillary at the same time?

    • GreyWolfSC

      He sounds as clueless as usual. I love my senators… (eyeroll)

  • Ok fine. I won’t block Claire McCaskill’s emails.

  • IOnlyLikeCats
    • jesterpunk

      IOKIYAR

    • Ryan Denniston

      People, you really are running Rachel ragged (Hi Rachel!!!).

  • jaspersdad

    Yeah, a much greater “witch hunt” than the four fucking years Trump spent stalking Obama about his birth certificate and all that other crazy conspiracy bullshit.

    What a worthless assrocket.

    • jesterpunk

      Or the 25+ years republicans spent investigating Hillary.

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    So. . . is America great yet?

    • GoutMachine

      I, for one, am sick of all the winning.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        I’m. . . Tired. . . of the. . . Winning. :I

        • David Chaillou

          No stamina. Weak!

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I don’t know but I think Wonkette is all caught up on Twitter.

  • jesterpunk

    And then he said he is subject to the greatest witch hunt in history…

    https://media.giphy.com/media/HPPo897APrNh6/giphy.gif

    • IOnlyLikeCats
    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Fine, then, she can move in to our house and he can go into the woods. Maybe he’ll run afoul of Jason Vorheese while he’s there.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Cause, you know, according to them, she’s an actual witch.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        The only way I could possibly love her more is if she were, in fact, a witch. Witches are the best people. One even married me and Lady J, fun fact.

        • Ryan Denniston

          ▶ 0:31

  • Joe Beese

    I’ve never been on the “cognitive impairment” bandwagon but I’m starting to have second thoughts.

    Russia is fine, but whether it’s Russia or anybody else, my total priority, believe me, is the United States of America…

    There is no collusion between certainly myself and my campaign, but I can always speak for myself, and the Russians, zero.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/05/18/trump-no-collusion-with-russia-238571

  • Joe Beese

    Video of Erdogan watching the protesters get beat up.

    http://www.amerikaninsesi.com/a/washington-daki-olarlar-sirasinda-cumhurbaskani-erdogan-in-goruntuleri/3855933.html

    He speaks to a guard, gets in car. Guard rushes down to protestors. Violence immediately begins. Violence ends, same guard (now disheveled) returns, Erdogan gets out of the car, nods as same guard speaks to him. It sure as hell looks like he ordered it.

    • Ryan Denniston

      What color were the protestors. Because in Trump’s America, that is the deciding factor.

    • The Wanderer

      Yeah, it’s pretty obvious.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Well – she’s not black – but a woman and a Democrat, so that’s still two strikes against this otherwise excellent plan. Oh, and it also leaves Obamacare intact and less likely to fail. Strike four!

  • Anna Rompage

    The look on Ivanka’s face when she found out a special prosecutor has been assigned to investigate her father, after Jared convinced him to fire Comey…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/99b4722c5dd8581cf506ff7aa97dc18ec59afd5d2fbb9e5fa83d6aa94a4b714f.jpg

    • Ryan Denniston

      Ewww. She doesn’t love him that much.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Too natural and lifelike, no way that is Ivanka. FAKE NEWS!!!11!!

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Ahem:

    “This is from CNN reporter Michelle Kosinski’s Facebook page:

    This is How Your Government Responds to Unfavorable News Coverage

    Monday night, as the story of the President giving classified information to the Russians was in full evolution, I get a call from this guy:

    RC Hammond, the State Department’s communications advisor, who had his facts wrong about what was reported and by whom.

    But he kicked off the conversation with a venomously irate “What the hell are you doing??!!”

    Followed up with full-on DEMANDS—over and over, and over again—to tell him who my sources were. He kept pushing, as if he thought this was ample reason. Then, “Why won’t you tell me who they are?” he bellowed repeatedly, again demanding I at least tell him what jobs they held at State, or in what areas.

    I had to explain to him that wasn’t how it worked.

    This, mind you, is someone employed by the US government to act as a communications professional.”

    There’s more at the linky –
    http://digbysblog.blogspot.com/2017/05/trumps-bully-boys.html

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      This is the best part:
      “I asked Hammond to name one time he had ever shared information with me or responded to a single email I’ve ever sent him (this has been a problem here that has been discussed among journalists, and Hammond told me to my face two weeks ago a flat “no” when I asked him if he ever answered emails.)

      “Well maybe there’s a reason for that,” he spat into the phone.

      Me: “Ok and what would that be.”

      Hammond: “WE don’t think you’re smart enough to HANDLE OUR information!!!!”

      • Mary Sandoras

        Priceless.

    • Claire

      Is this the Ocean Marketing guy in a false mustache? It is, isn’t it?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Joe Beese

      Asses will be covered.

    • Ryan Denniston

      See Chump, this is how you use Twitter to inform.

  • Ryan Denniston

    I find it cute that Brian Williams is still keeping a count of what day in the Chump Administration we’re in.

    • Joe Beese

      Ted Koppel kept up the day-count on the Iranian hostages until the very end.

      • Ωbjectifier

        It wasn’t just Koppel, all the networks did it. That’s a big reason Carter was not re-elected, IMHO.

        • Meccalopolis

          That and the secret deal to sell them weapons to delay their release

        • RobespierreHoo

          That, and being an incompetent fool surrounded by Georgia redneck retards of questionable character and unquestioned stupidity.

    • Paperless Tiger

      I just figure the last days or so.

    • JustDon’tSaySurety

      It’d be more fun to count down. Just sayin’.

  • Lyly Sirivong
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I haven’t had the time to check if the Roger Ailes post has attracted trolls, but just in case:

    https://twitter.com/OhNoSheTwitnt/status/865232229995302914

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Our sins are more easily remembered then our great deeds.

      although I cant remember Ailes great deeds.

      PS: I want to be remembered for bringing sexy back.

      • janecita

        Justin Timberlake libel!!!

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          No disrespect, I don’t mean no harm.

    • Stockmann

      “Mocking Roger Ailes’ death is disgraceful!” – the people who cheered when Hillary got pneumonia and joked about her dying every day”

      Like the ‘Locker Uppers’ supporting drumpf’s firing of Comey based on a letter documenting the FBI’s “atrocities” towards Hillary.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    According to my clock there is a presser now so where is it?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DksSPZTZES0

    • janecita

      That was 1 hour ago.

      • shastakoala

        Not in Mountain time.

        • Ωbjectifier

          It’s always 4:20 in mountain time.

          • shastakoala

            Twenty minutes give or take. :)

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        So since I am still alive and my twitter feed wasn’t overloaded nothing happened? fuck this shit I am off to bed.

        • janecita

          Goedenacht:-)

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            buenas noches in a few dear.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Breaking: Trump vows to eliminate cocoa cultivation.

    —-

    Go long on chocolate :) I think he was supposed to say Coca, and that’s not happening. It’s legal in Peru and required for altitude sickness.

    • janecita

      So, no more “beautiful chocolate cake” for Trump?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        “what am i supposed to eat when I’m bombing places?”
        -DJT

        • janecita

          Carrot cake!

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            taco bowls? – IWenttoJared

            the hearts of puppies? – SteveBannon

          • alpacapunchbowl

            YUK

          • janecita

            He doesn’t deserve better.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Truth.

        • TundraGrifter

          Bombe glacee.

    • therblig

      even white chocolate? what a cuck!

    • Meccalopolis

      Coca a wonderful medicinal plant. Cocaine is pretty much evil

      • Meccalopolis

        And he better leave cocoa alone

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Has the breaking news broken yet or should I check again after I walk the dog?

    • Courser_Resistance

      Go walk the dog – It’s Thursday night – the other shoe hasn’t even been taken off yet.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Definitely turn up the sound and hit play–worth it!

    https://twitter.com/AynRandPaulRyan/status/865199976988647424

  • Paperless Tiger

    Sweet! Maybe this time we could save the village without having to destroy it. Wait, is that a violation of disaster capitalism? Wouldn’t want to be un-American, here.

  • CogitoErgoBibo
  • Swampgas_Man

    So have we had the traditional end-of-the-day panicked news announcement yet?

    • Joe Beese

      Does Brennan’s testimony next week count?

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    MSNBC #1 on cable news. Fox #3.

    • I’m glad that Ailes got to see that before his trip to the abyss.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Not if Andy Lack has anything to say about it.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Oh, for fuck’s sake, of course Donald said this in this auto-play link:

    Trump says special counsel appointment ‘hurts our country’

    President Donald Trump warned that the special counsel investigation into alleged links between his 2016 campaign and Russia’s election hacking “hurts our country” after earlier branding the probe the “single greatest witch hunt” in political history.

    “I believe it hurts our country terribly, because it shows we’re a divided, mixed-up, not-unified country,” Trump said at a luncheon with a group of television news anchors.

    “And we have very important things to be doing right now, whether it’s trade deals, whether it’s military, whether it’s stopping nuclear — all of the things that we discussed today. And I think this shows a very divided country,” Trump said.

    Getting more united against you every day, asshole!

    • Ωbjectifier

      That’s right. We need to be doing military and stopping nuclear.

      • JustDon’tSaySurety

        With the cyber.

    • Meccalopolis

      He’s a dumb, not-smart traitor

  • Ωbjectifier
    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Thank you. This is one of my favorite songs of all time, nevermind being my favorite Chris Cornell joint. Godspeed, Chris!

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • GoutMachine

      No Russia connections! None!

  • jaspersdad

    Witch hunt would imply an element of hunting. No hunting is required here. The stupid orange bastard is right in front of everyone.

    • GoutMachine

      Also, too, WITCH LIBELZ!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      It’s as if the accused witch grabs the stone and takes a running leap into the water.

    • TundraGrifter

      As my Dad used to say, “Like shooting fish in a bath tub.”

      To the best of my knowledge he ever actually tried that, of course. It sounds very, very messy.

  • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

    Ben Shapiro: “But Obama leaked classified information 5 times!”
    Can Republicans ever, ever take responsibility without saying, “but, but he did it, too (so that makes it okay for me to do it)”?!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Well, ask youself this: what does it say that Ben Shapiro is fighting to keep Steve Bannon and Seb Gorka in the White House?

      • JustDon’tSaySurety

        He hates himself?

        • Carpe Vagenda

          OK, now what does it say that he’s fighting for that as an employee of the National Review *after* Trump said he punked them on moving the embassy?

    • Reximus

      He’s trying for appointment as ambassador of Whataboutistan

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Citation fucking needed, Bennie

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      I always wonder if Republicans think this kind of thing through.

      Are they upset about it, or not? I mean, does it matter to them, or doesn’t it? Is it only wrong when you do ONE MORE bad thing than the other guy?

      Is there a tally somewhere? Is it Sean Hannity’s fingers?? Or is there a more official count? Maybe the Bureau Of The Bad Things Presidents Have Done? How will we know exactly how many times the next President gets to leak classified information?

      Do they tell the Administration “I’m sorry, you’re overdrawn. You’ll have to deposit some extra classified stuff before you can leak any more classified things. Don’t blame me! It’s not my fault Gerald Ford didn’t leak more. Those are the rules!”

  • jesterpunk
  • Carpe Vagenda

    Wow. Trump blackmailed insurers into supporting repeal.

    https://twitter.com/JHWeissmann/status/865311511459266561

    • hendenburg2

      CSR’s?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        cost sharing reduction payments

    • Raan

      Add it to the pile.

  • Reximus

    Sen. Lindsey Graham on fox today:

    Congress should abandon Russia investigation, go back to Clinton’s emails, “There’s a new front opening here.”

    https://thinkprogress.org/graham-says-congress-should-abandon-russia-look-at-emails-instead-bd9ebc32a78

    • Shouldn’t you be hiding in a closet, Miss Lindsay?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      sigh…

    • elviouslyqueer

      Lindsey, darling, sweetie, let me be as directly discrete as possible:

      Bless your goddamn heart, but you need to sit your capacious nelly ass ALL the way the fuck down.

    • Edith Prickly

      Yes, go hound Hillary Clinton again, who is currently not working for the government in any capacity. *headdesk*

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      It’s amazing to watch the cycle they all go through, from making a statement that conflicts with the hive mind and is critical of the administration, to the period where they are inundated by the brainless base and the screws get tightened by the dark money boys behind the scenes, to the inevitable worming their way back into good graces by doing an abrupt 180 to whatever they said the day before and crawling back to the cult like the spineless pieces of shit that they are, to vomit up yet more empty GOP talking points as penance. You can set your watch by it- brief moment of candor and bravery to the inevitable cowardly collapse- EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM

      • Reximus

        if he were interviewed on CNN and asked the same question, he’d give totally different answer

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      I didn’t realize Hillary Clinton was president. THANK GOD THIS WAS ALL JUST A NIGHTMARE!

      • shastakoala

        Shhhhh keep dreaming.

    • Raan
    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      “There’s a new front opening here.”

      Was he wearing a pair of long underwear that he was wearing backwards? BECAUSE THAT’S THE ONLY WAY THAT MAKES ANY FUCKIN SENSE

  • Chadwells
  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    drip, drip, plop?

    “(CNN)Investigators on the House intelligence committees have obtained access to valuable data from the Treasury Department, a development that will open their doors to investigate possible connections between President Donald Trump’s business empire and Russians, CNN has learned.

    The Treasury Department’s Financial Crimes Enforcement Network — or FinCEN — monitors global financing and frequently investigates money laundering. The agency collects data from banks around the world and is a critical source in identifying how shell companies move money.

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/18/politics/financial-data-intelligence-committees-senate-house/index.html

    • GoutMachine
    • shastakoala

      Could this “Data” possibly be called Tax Returns?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        sounds better than that…now what data would an agency that mnoitors global finance, looking for money laundering have regarding trump?

        • h4rr4r

          Just how many rubles do you think we are talking about?

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i’m a texan – we don’t know nuthin bout convertin’ currency.

            Also too, the metric system.

    • Major_Major_Major

      The five o’clock drop, more addictive than crack.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      And, by some odd coincidence, Mr. Mueller has experience in investigating and prosecuting money laundering! Funny how things work out innit?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • TundraGrifter

    “Rs have called for health insurance to be sold across state lines (the problem there would be that the market would rush to states allowing the crappiest coverage possible).”

    It is true that if this became popular there would be a deep dive to the bottom of the regulatory barrel.

    But there are other serious problems with it.

    #1 – It’s already legal. Health insurance companies just aren’t all that into it.

    #2 – Often because health insurance is a local business. The insurance company needs to establish relationships with local doctors, hospitals, and other providers. Otherwise, it’s “Good news! We have room for you at the ER. In Buttfuck, North Dakota. Is 4:00 pm or 4:45 pm better for you?”

    #3 – The pools that pay policy holders if the insurance company goes BK (either money collected every year, having insurance companies available for assessment(s) as needed, or both) are unique to each state. There’s no national backstop.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      They don’t want to do it because they don’t have doctor or hospital networks established in other states- that’s a fuckton of work to do to attract out of state insurance buyers

  • Chadwells

    This was my shit back in the day!! Oh man!

    https://youtu.be/14r7y6rM6zA

    • Yep, this one’s my fave. Man do I love Matt Cameron’s drums.

      • Chadwells

        Fuck yes!!

      • Chadwells

        The guitar around 4:15 – 4:20….for some reason makes my hair stand up!

    • Joe Beese

      That reminds me of an MTV News segment about the band which ended with Tabitha Soren saying “The problem with that clip is that Chris Cornell didn’t have his shirt off.”

      • Chadwells

        Holy shit…I remember that!!!

      • Ωbjectifier

        O Tabitha, you minx!

    • Aaron Wise
    • janecita

      His death hit me harder than Scott Weiland’s death. You just never heard anything negative about Chris Cornell, he seemed to be above all that rock and roll drama.

      • Chadwells

        Just an all around good guy with insane talent…he was something special. So tragic. Headphones on and digging through the catalogue….

    • sadboy

      Also loved it when the Soundgarden guys did “The Lame List” on Seattle’s “Almost Live”.

  • Joe Beese

    For me, this was his single greatest vocal performance.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62_0ZHhOo58

  • Pre-existing Ugly Dude

    Sen. McCaskill’s plan sounds suspiciously like a pubic option. NO Pubic Option!!1

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6263a1b10230a5f63b912f2e2adff6c3eb74e98ab417aeb8e78b10a9b9e02f0e.jpg

    • WotsAllThisThen

      So a Brazilian style health care system?

      • Pre-existing Ugly Dude

        More coverage than that..

      • Ωbjectifier

        Somalian.

      • Marion in Savannah

        I see what you did there…

    • Shoto

      “Get yer damn gubmint hands offa my Medicare, or I’ll run you down with my Rascal Scooter.”

      — Random Teabagger Patriot

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      And “Where’s the birth certificate?” in the background.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Wow. Get a brain, morans!

  • jesterpunk

    I really feel bad for his daughter, hope she is ok and has all the support she needs.

    https://youtu.be/uPsvqhH4wiQ

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      I’m sure she’s as okay as can be expected and I am very sure she has more support than she even knows what to do with. Chris’ fan community seems to be extending a lot of love right now.

      • jesterpunk

        Yeah and everyone he has ever worked with is supporting them too. She is pretty young though to lose her father though.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          It’s never easy to lose your parent. I lost my dad when I was thirteen and it was just. . . messy. I get it.

        • SnarkON

          Damn, girl can sing.

    • SnarkON

      Sounds like he was already an absentee dad.

      • jesterpunk

        He was recording and touring a lot with different bands so he wasnt home all the time.

        • SnarkON

          Sounds like he was living in Seattle and she was living in NYC, though I could have heard it wrong. In any case, it’s a shame that he is gone.

          • jesterpunk

            He was talking about where they where born, he was born in Seattle she was born in NYC.

          • SnarkON

            ah

  • Major_Major_Major
  • Chadwells

    This one always stood out to me too. The lyrics….

    https://youtu.be/dfF4t9-wpCM

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Remember, we’ve got more than Russia to tend to:

    https://twitter.com/PoliticusSarah/status/865315978665746432

  • Poly_Ester

    Imagine that somewhere over mid-ocean, tomorrow, the Preznit steps into the cockpit of Air Force One and demands to fly the plane. He claims that as Preznit and CiC he had the absolute right to fly AF1, besides “he is the best pilot in the world, ask anyone.”

    • Marion in Savannah

      I hope they let him…

      • bupkus231

        Haven’t the contracts to replace Air Force One been awarded? We coild spare one multi-million dollar plane to get rid of him easily.

        Pity about the collateral damage, tho’….

    • Joe Beese

      Trump: So this is your captain speaking, O.K.? And, I have to tell you, this flight is so overbooked, it’s crazy! Like, everyone wants to be on my flight! It’s incredible! And I’ve never even flown a plane before! And yet many, many people are saying that I’ll be winning with the flying big-league! I’ll win with the beautiful flying so much you won’t believe it! Nobody can fly like maybe I probably can! Nobody. But first we have to take off, and I must tell you, folks, the air-traffic controllers here are the worst—like, totally disgusting, O.K.? The rest of the world is laughing at our controllers, that’s how bad they are! The incompetence, you wouldn’t believe! O.K., here we go! What do I do first, Mike? …

      http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/10/24/air-trump-a-short-play

    • Ωbjectifier

      Sign in AF-1 lav:
      Those with short stacks and low manifold pressure, please taxi forward.

      • vivian

        Talk about “lean in”…

  • Relativicus

    Turns out, Ryan never sent the AHCA to the Senate. You’ll be surprised to learn they have to wait for the CBO score to come out because they “may” need to amend the bill:

    https://www.bloomberg.com/politics/articles/2017-05-18/house-may-be-forced-to-vote-again-on-gop-s-obamacare-repeal-bill

    Dick-heads. The lot of them.

    • Joe Beese
    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I thought that was sort of a known issue all along. That certain portions of the bill would need to be excised to even be considered in the Senate. Which is why the Senate is writing its own. I don’t know that they explicitly ever said they weren’t sending it. If that’s what they’re saying, that might be new. But they knew Senate rules wouldn’t allow that specific bill to be voted on in the Senate. They sort of knew it would all end up in reconcilation regardless.

      • Relativicus

        The article indicates the membership was not informed. I imagine the ones who’ve been getting yelled at aren’t relishing the thought of having to vote again.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Yup, this means there will likely be a second vote in the House

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Oh, what IS in this schadenfreude? It tastes even more delightful than usual!

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Your next recipe post?

        • Pinkham’s Law

          You are too kind. And, thanks for reminding me.I need to work on it some more. Tiny bit longer than most, this week.

    • Claire

      This clusterfuck.

    • Greyhame

      Oh that is precious. And here I was, just wondering what ever happened to the CBO score on that shit sandwich of a bill.

    • Meccalopolis

      Yep gotta bedeficite neutral to pass through resolution

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • DainBramage
    • JustDon’tSaySurety

      Does that lead to multiple somethings?

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Multiple giggle-fits, in my case.

      • aureolaborealis

        Naw, it’s more like edging-freude.

  • Mary Sandoras

    “Yr Wonkette is always in search of creative funding solutions, too, like asking you, the reader, to give us money. Get to it, bucko: click the “Donate” clicky or we’ll make Louis Gohmert your doctor.”

    Okay, blackmail check sent, I don’t want Gohmert any where near my hooha. Actually I’m not sure he could find it.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Man, I love Trae Crowder.

    • Tiffany de Houston

      I love Trae Crowder too! Smart and funny as he can be. I can’t wait to hear his take on things once the impeachment hearing begin!

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        he just dropped a new video today. At least it’s one I haven’t seen until today. Can’t wait for more of his take as well.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I get to go see him live tomorrow night in Richmond, VA! Very excited. Shhhh. Don’t tell the guy who is going with me.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Mum’sd the word, but JEALOUS! HATE you right now.

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          Check the tour dates. Might be coming near you soon! He’s touring with 2 other guys. http://wellredcomedy.com/

    • vivian

      I heard his brother Clem is a real monster.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    This whole thread is great!

    (If you can’t, the tl;dr is Kurt Eichenwald to Tucker Carlson–drop dead from poor ratings)

    https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/865314751320133632

  • jesterpunk

    This may be a quiet night, this is the latest tweet from the washington post.

    https://twitter.com/washingtonpost/status/865318343691165696

    • Joe Beese

      Pure journalistic dynamite!

      • jesterpunk

        Well there are trolls on their Chris Cornell tweet from earlier today so it looks like they just wanted something off topic for now.

    • Anna Rompage

      I’ve got a ton of asparagus coming up in my garden right now….

    • That looks more like marsh samphire than asparagus

    • DainBramage

      Did the pee-hookers have smelly, asparagus pee?

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Jinx!

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Perhaps not? Ya know what asparagus does- makes your pee smell funny.

      • jesterpunk

        Yeah but its not related to Trump, unless the next tweet is about the pee hookers.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Exactly.

      • Yr. Gma

        The ability to smell asparagus pee is inherited. Science fact.
        http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/314722.php

        • alpacapunchbowl

          I think I have this! Or rather, don’t. I’ve never noticed a horrifying smell, and I eat a LOT of asparagus in season.

      • janecita

        It also makes your semen taste weird.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Asparagus? Or are we still talking about carrot cake?

          • janecita

            Asparagus:-)

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          Nothing a little pineapple can’t fix!

    • snark-lurker

      it is still early

    • bupkus231

      What? No one has cast aspersions on that asparagus yet?

    • vivian

      I’m assuming RIP stands for
      “Rest in Pieces” in this instance.

      • Wee Mousie

        Rot In Perpetuity.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    I know it’s been posted but since it’s my favorite I’m just going to post a live version.

    https://youtu.be/95kwbpfZ64k

    • jesterpunk

      Great version of this song.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Shit’s gonna take weeks and months to sort out. How long can the USA run on autopilot?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dc8194436bf600420c8aac115c069173e0bafce679c1430b9c7d0197e85788e0.jpg

    • Anna Rompage

      Um, auto pilot is preferred at this point, as it means the GOP cannot fuck anything else up…

    • SnarkON

      Looks like I picked the wrong year to quit sniffing glue.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Joey, have you ever seen a grown man naked?

    • Ωbjectifier

      Just make sure he stays inflated.

    • Crystalclear12

      I am sorry, Trump hasn’t nominated an autopilot yet.
      Please enjoy your crash.

    • Painter of Goats

      Roger, Roger. What’s our vector, Victor?

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend
    • canes_pugnaces

      Priceless!

  • jaspersdad

    I’m excited about Trump’s overseas trip; the more time this twat spends in front of a microphone the better.

    • vivian

      What could possibly go wrong?

      At least by now, everyone on earth knows he’s a fucking idiot,
      so they’ll just call Pence or Haley to complain instead of starting a war…
      I hope i hope i hope.

  • Chadwells
  • jaspersdad

    It truly is “Stupid Watergate”.

    • vivian

      Watergate for (and by) Dummies.™

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • Joe Beese

      There’s no situation that can’t be made worse by the application of US military force.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    How is Donald trying to cover his ass today, NYT?

    President Trump insisted on Thursday that there was no collusion between his presidential campaign and Russian officials, though he added, “I can only speak for myself.”

    Nothing to see here!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4a9c998bfb4114717835ac778e63bc1f9a930cdf66ae2ac0b5c3e3256b58745c.jpg

  • Michael Smith

    Trump has turned real life into a TV cliffhanger in which each daily episode is replete with blast from the past celebrity appearances, shocking revelations, betrayals, sex, scandal, rumors about murder, the threat of nuclear war, moments of crass gallows humor, evil villains seemingly never getting their comeuppance, and much much more!

    We are going to have to write an episode guide at some point here, because its one of those ones where if you miss one day, you don’t know what the hell is going on. And sometimes even if you’ve seen every episode, it can be hard to follow.

    • marxalot

      Mensch, I hate soap operas.

    • Robert Gibson

      Cracked actually has a series discussing the Administration as if it were a show.

      So many great characters! Where will the writers take it next? SPACE?!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0U0NhUg44cA

    • cheetojeebus

      I just hope to god it’s not a “Lost” reboot.

      • Michael Smith

        That’s kind of what I was thinking when I was typing it lol

  • marxalot

    I have tix to Punk Rock Bowling and the Menzingers show at the end of the month!
    But my usual dog sitter is booked solid T_T
    So I’m meeting a new one this weekend (it’s good to have backup).
    Think I should rent a tux and wreck it by living in it for 3 solid days? There’s pool parties!

    • hendenburg2

      Search for a cheap tux at a goodwill.

      Then put metal studs and punk band patches all over it.

      Pair with a nice bowler.

      • marxalot

        You make a good point… expcet that the bowler would put a dent in my mohawk u_u

        • hendenburg2

          Cut a mohawk slot in the bowler!

          (maybe a clap in the back to keep it together?)

          • marxalot

            Since we’re in Vegas, I am seriously considering a loud Hawaiian shirt and a sunhat w/mohawk slot cut in.

          • hendenburg2

            Like the hat. Should pair with tartan pants though

          • vivian

            Pants? PANTS? WTF? I thought I was safe here.

          • marxalot

            I can get a red tartan tux from ebay. Thanks, 3 minutes searching on the internet.

  • Joe Beese

    What made him a great vocalist and Soundgarden a great band wasn’t just technical accomplishment, though they certainly didn’t lack for that; greatness implies complexity, and Soundgarden’s greatness lay in its ability to convey not only bleakness and the will to death, but the dogged will to live that opposed it. Life isn’t death, but living and dying are, actually, the same process. Far from being a monument to despair and abjection, Soundgarden’s music plays out the struggle against them. Cornell was too honest to be merely sullen, and the voice with which he delivered his impressions, and the guitars and drums behind them, were too beautiful to simply amount to a document of doom. Heavy as death but dynamic as life, Soundgarden struck a balance between the two, and it was this realness that made their songs a resource for countless desperate individuals too smart to cheer up yet too strong to give in.

    How many lives were pulled, even temporarily, out of the abyss by his words? Too many to count, and no doubt more will be with each passing day. It’s absolutely terrible that Chris Cornell is dead. There is no way around that. But can anyone whose songs keep saving people, even after his death, truly pass out of this world?

    http://www.vulture.com/2017/05/chris-cornell-lyrics.html

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    So Netflix has been putting “Ever After High” (seriously, don’t judge me, it’s actually a really cute show and the fashions are my eye candy) and I’ve been trying to figure out if they’ve stopped doing that (if they have it’s almost definitely because the show has two girls as endgame, though they’re not even canon yet).

    • Stulexington

      I’m not sure about on the show but the Raven storyline in the books is a really good political primer, I was actually quite impressed while reading it to my daughter.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        She also starts a movement about freedom of choice in the show, if that’s what you mean. I also really appreciate the diversity of the characters. Also the girls that end up together make the cutest couple my eyes have ever seen.

        It looks like the new season is slated for this summer but they have some production difficulties and all of the seasons are back on Netflix (they were not the last time I checked).

  • Don’t know if this has been noted yet
    https://twitter.com/Charlesthornt/status/865321696936546304

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Putie ain’t gonna be happy.

    • Joe Beese

      If Trump blowing up some brown people doesn’t get him out of this mess, nothing will.

    • boyblue122

      They already used up the big nuke scare with N Korea. Doubt this will make a blip on the radar

    • vivian

      Wait for the DoD correction in three days that they were actually the children of rebels.

    • Sophia

      It is not 6:00 pm yet

  • Chadwells
  • mrFawkes

    Embattled President Trump just held a press conference with President Juan Manuel Santos of Colombia, and almost on cue made a fool of himself in a number of ways.
    His opening remarks, as usual, heavily featured his efforts to continue the failed “war on drugs” and how we need a wall, and how we’re going to work with Colombia to stop the production of… cocoa.
    “Cocoa” is the delicious seed that we use to make chocolate. “Coca” is the plant whose leaves are used to make cocaine.
    He repeated “cocoa” several times, indicating that his knowledge of basic botany is as poor as his skill at governance
    I dare you trump to try and pry the sweet, delicious Swiss Miss marching powder from my cold, dark chocolaty hands.

    • Joe Beese

      If he eradicates cocoa, he’s truly history’s greatest monster.

      • DrBigHead

        OK, NOW I’m pissed.

      • mrFawkes
        • Bozilingus

          tRump is a large Oompa Loompa.

          • Wee Mousie

            More like a Goofah Loofah..

          • OOMPA LOOMPA DOOBITY DOO
            I’VE GOT A BILL OF IMPEACHMENT FOR YOU

      • vivian

        C’mon Sheeple… follow the breadcrumbs:
        He asked them to stop growing coca. Cocoa is used to make chocolate. Chocolate cake is what he has for dessert when he bombs people. He’s asking them to help him stop bombing people. It’s a cry for help!!!

        *waits for phone to ring with job offer from Pox News*

        • Sophia

          You ever get scared that you are able to crack the trump code?

          • vivian

            Notsomuch. I’m blasted and he doesn’t drink.

        • aureolaborealis

          NEEDS MOAR DRY ERASE DIAGRAMS!!!!

      • “M”

        Where would the most delicious chocolate cake come from then?

    • Doug Langley

      Waaaait a minute – didn’t he confess to being a chocolate cake addict? LOCK HIM UP!!

      • aureolaborealis

        With one more scoop of ice cream than anyone else at the table got!

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      1. Oh, for fuck’s sake, this is embarrassing. More so.

      2. Better stock up on chocolate now!

      3. See #1.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i read somewhere that cocoa is actually on the wane, global warming or economics or something.

        • LucindathePook

          And it is scary, bad stuff. It has caffeine in it. A drug.

    • Yr. Gma

      I’ve been hearing about this cocoa a lot lately. People don’t know about it, okay? Andrew Jackson would have stopped it. Did you see my electoral maps?

    • Painter of Goats

      Millions of chocoholics everywhere are facepalming.

    • Sophia

      He comes for my M & M’s he better be prepared for a fight.

      • mrFawkes

        My thoughts and prayers go out to those lost in the Bowling Green M & M’s Massacre.

    • Sophia

      You mean all this time we speculated he might be snorting coke he was actually snorting that powder Nestle’s Quick?

      • Wee Mousie

        That might explain the odd orange color.

    • “M”

      I … thought I was hallucinating that he said that.

      Very well.

      *sigh*

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      And now that he’s said it, HE WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER BACK DOWN!

  • Doug Langley

    Okay, Did the interview thingie. I think she liked me, seemed to go well. EXCEPT for the little gotcha: the salary in the ad was for full time only, and they’re hiring for part time, so I would only get half. I might as well be flipping burgers for all the good that does. She will look and see if maybe, MAYBE, she can put me on full time, but no promises.

    Came home, sent her a thank you note. Got an email from another place, had applied 2 days ago, they want me to continue! So I log on and fill out the application. Recent jobs (even that’s on my resume), references, the works. Then I had to take a psych test. Okay, tick off replies. Then more tests – and these were timed. Test shuts off after so many minutes. Took one test – then another – then another – then another – AND ANOTHER. These things are timed so that even with my speed reading and math skills, I STILL couldn’t get them all done on time. The whole ordeal took 3 or 4 hours. Painful. But this job is perm and pays very well, so I HAD to go through it, although I’ve had bad experiences with online tests, they never seem to work. Help!

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      good god buddy – i hope you find something good soon after all the crap they’ve put you through.

      Thankfully law folk don’t seem to do that weird shit (although I’m still unemployed, so….)

      • Doug Langley

        Forgot to mention – if by some miracle they put me on full time, that would involve 10 hours a day. Do the math, works out to about $10 per hour. To do teaching in robotics and video game. And just for the summer. She says I can apply for something else the fall semester, if there’s anything left of me.

        The other job would pay well but is in a dinky nothing town over a hundred miles away.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          oy vey.
          Yeah, there’s not a lot of good options here either. Best of luck.

          • Doug Langley

            Did I mention there’s another job I applied for in a nearby town that pays well and might lead to perm, but I couldn’t reach the recruiter in over a week, so God only knows whats going on?

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            jeebus – keep trying man.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I’m still in the same position as you. I’ve taken those tests recently. Including job-based hypotheticals. I don’t mind being asked such questions but it’s tough not being able to relate to a human–as a real-world situation would entail.

      • Doug Langley

        I’m fascinated by the notion that someone applying for graphics designer should have to solve 50 heavy math word problems in 30 minutes flat. I’m absolutely convinced HR is staff by functional psychopaths.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          jeebus

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          Functional? Not … just psychopaths.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i actually wish they’d ask me that, i’m more educated on law than experienced in it.

        • Doug Langley

          These were time limited, once you hit the limit the page advances like it or not. Einstein himself couldn’t finish them.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            the LSAT is very similar – if you had all day, a lot of people would score better.

            But they time limit you to put on the pressure (and reveal the brilliant folk).

    • janecita

      I’m scared to wish you good luck, because last time you bitched me out because I was being too “positive.”

      • Doug Langley

        I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t mean to come on too strong. You’re not the one I’m frustrated with.

    • memzilla Ω

      One of the tricks to taking personality tests is to notice the pattern of the questions and respond the same way to each variant of the question. You will be graded on your lowest answer.

      Example: With a response range from Strongly Agree–Neutral–Strongly Disagree, you’ll be asked six questions on honesty. The questions will have shadings from “It’s never OK to steal,” “He stole it and can put it back later is sometimes OK,” to “The man’s family was starving and needed bread so it’s OK to steal.” If you answer “Strongly Agree” to the last question, then you will be marked as “Strongly Agrees That Stealing Is OK.”

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Les Misérables weeps for pity.

      • Wee Mousie

        So, basically, all those Dickensian kiddies who were shipped in chains to Australia, had it coming. Gotcha!

    • marxalot

      Always answer like a psychopath. Either STRONGLY AGREE or STRONGLY DISAGREE but do not have nuanced or middle positions, the way those tests are weighted on the back end (friend of mine used to be a dev for an HR software co), they basically eliminate any reasonable responses.

      • Doug Langley

        One of the test rules: you cannot have too many neutral answers. Something about putting a curse on your children and grand-children.

    • Shibusa
  • thewalkindude

    Watch out, Ivanka…

    Ghostwriter of “(F)Art of the Deal”-
    “Evidence of his meltdown is the fact that he’s starting to scream at Jared Kushner,” Schwartz said. “Honestly, I think his kids are next.”

    Schwartz said Trump’s sons might be spared for now since they’re not really in the White House picture.

    “I can honestly easily see him going after Ivanka if she says the wrong thing right now,” Schwartz said. “I remember very vividly when I was working with him how terrified people would be of going up against him in any way when you could sense that he was feeling I can guarantee you he is feeling right now.”

    • Joe Beese

      “Daddy, how could you?” [runs out crying to go empower women]

      • Mary Sandoras

        FTW!

    • Yr. Gma

      Okay, I’m going dark here. Ivanka’s mother told the tale of what happened to her when Donnie was angry and cornered after his painful scalp surgery. I have no trouble imagining a similar scenario with that woman’s daughter if that psychopath is pushed far enough.

      • Joe Beese

        Questioned by reporters outside the Capitol, Senator McCain stated, “This videotape of the President appearing to push his daughter’s head against the Resolute desk is concerning, but ultimately we have to respect the Trump family’s privacy.”

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    https://youtu.be/YGfllz_P2_k

    This was one of my mom’s favorite songs.

    RIP Chris.

    • Parakeetist

      Yeah. :(

    • janecita

      It’s one of my favorites too.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    OK, which staffer will be the first one thrown? My money’s on Spicey!

    https://twitter.com/JuddLegum/status/865312370394107904

    • Joe Beese

      “Me? No. No Russia. Pence, I don’t know.”

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      By the end it’ll just be him and a pile of cocaine.

      • Joe Beese

        “Say hello to my leetle hands!”

      • DrBigHead

        Or apparently cocoa powder (see earlier post).

    • boyblue122

      So many people being thrown under the bus right there. Hes giving anyone involved the green light to flip on him

    • Rick Hill

      Better do it fast. Sounds like trump’s readying the bus for some bumps

    • Sophia

      Stuff like this with trump the question isn’t “is” it’s “when”

    • Mary Sandoras

      Reince Priebus would be my first guess.

    • Blackest Noobs

      well, yeah, of course ( throwing subordinates under the bus), that’s his thing.
      he’s not the failure, you’re the failure….nice to know a CEO Exec President has the temperment of a fucking 2 year old.

    • Shibusa

      Spicey’s gone. KAC might get punted too after Mika spilled the beans that she can’t stand Mango Mussolini.

    • I want Twitler to take iver press briefings. The larffs!

    • SadDemInTex

      Spicey, KAC, and Priapuss

  • Master Contrail Program
    • Joe Beese

      It’s a tribute to the quality of Michael McKean’s acting that I can watch Better Call Saul without whistling “Talk about mudflaps…”

      • DrBigHead

        I think this is the best show on TV. McKean’s character is truly a loathsome creature.

        • Joe Beese

          Ooh, we hate him at Chez Beese!

        • Blackest Noobs

          isn’t it interesting actors who got their start at comedic performances are making the bestest dickish villains.

  • Rick Hill
    • Parakeetist

      Squeeeeeee!!!!

    • unpocketedstupidcomments

      That’s heartwarming. Now read this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veal

    • calliecallie

      I saw a calf being born when I was in my late teens. I believe as a result I put off my own child bearing for a good 10 years. I’m impressed by this cow, is what I”m saying. She’s really took one for the team.

  • boyblue122
  • Treg Brown
    • Jenny

      Lol!

    • Michael R

      If he’s having a problem with Trump he should just say so ,
      it’s not healthy to hold these things in .

    • m3bosha

      Ohhhhhhh! I have got to lay off the doobie today, it took me 4 times to place this. But hey, it is snowing today… on the 18th of freekin May. So tortilla soup, doobies and snark is in order!

      • Courser_Resistance

        You must live in Denver ;-) Naw, don’t lay off the doob, it’s the only thing keeping me even relatively sane.

        • m3bosha

          Close, I’m in Colorado Springs, but way up in the north part of the city, we’re at about 7000 ft altitude and get the craziest weather here.

  • Chris

    Mark June 30 on your calendars kids – Chaffetz is leaving DC. Because reasons – empty nesting, blather, blather, more to follow.

    • DainBramage

      He’s tired of the “Kick Me!” sign constantly being taped to his back.

  • DainBramage

    It’s always projection with these MFers.
    https://twitter.com/RandyEBarnett/status/865162005845606400

    • h4rr4r

      So the Dems stole the 18.5 minutes of tape?

      • jesterpunk

        It was Obama and George Soros with an assist from Hillary.

        • Painter of Goats

          In the conservatory, with a lead pipe.

          • jesterpunk

            I think they used risotto too.

          • Rasilom

            Be careful where you point that risotto, it might be loaded and kill someone!

    • jesterpunk
      • Carpe Vagenda

        Does he even realize that Felt and Woodward were establishment Republicans and Felt was defending Hoover’s legacy?

        • jesterpunk

          Chris Hayes or Randy Barnett?

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I used to think you’d only have to ask that about Barnett, but some of Hayes’ recent choices make me wonder.

    • Michael R
      • Michael R

        OK I sent it , although my twitter messages seem to go nowhere .

    • Courser_Resistance

      Yeah… that’s not it… It’s the motherfucking treason!

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • mancityRed6

      yeah, I guess all those tea party protesters were just trying to transfer the power peacefully.

    • boyblue122

      always accuse the other side of that which you are guilty

      -Goebbels

    • Daisy

      It’s not that he’s doing illegal shit that’s endangering national security or anything, nope, we have to be plotting to remove all Republicans from office. *rolls eyes*

    • jowgajen

      These are funny, he should try stand up.

    • Randy Riddle

      Since 1973, liberals have been wanting to keep strong election accountability, anti-corruption, and campaign finance laws in place to keep another Watergate from happening.

      All three were flushed down the toilet by conservatives and we wound up with Tsarina Trump.

    • Red Bird Ω

      What about Andrew Jackson? Was he Republican?

    • Pre-existing Ugly Dude

      To be fair, Dems can’t take all the credit. They had help from Nixon and his crew.

    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      Just the criminal ones, Randy, dear. Just the criminal ones.

  • Raan

    Open Thread? Here’s a picture of dinner: braised eye of round and mashed potatoes. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3a9e8820f2740f32b6ebf2c71a06e65b8243cead9009aead0f08ba9d4c40360d.jpg

    • shastakoala

      Gravy?

      • mancityRed6

        the ex from the UK had to have gravy on everything. of course, instant gravy. I’d eat it if it was lunch at her parent’s house, but that was it. the only gravy I’ve ever asked for was the biscuits and grease that my mom’s mom made, and even that stopped when I hit double digits.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Instant gravy? I kinda wish I didn’t know that existed.

          • mancityRed6

            I blame the rations and the horrible meat that came along after WW2. I also blame that for things like steak and kidney pie.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Yeah, throwing kidneys in a perfectly good meat pie could only be an act of desperation. Which is totally understandable, I have forebears who ate lard sandwiches during the Depression.
            Maybe residual pee is an acquired taste. If only there was a well-known fan of watersports we could ask.

          • Raan

            “They also drank the urine of a ram.”
            “Because of the pH balance?”
            “No, because if you can drink ram’s piss, you can drink anything.”

          • Erala Contratista

            An old Portuguese recipe I learned from an old Portuguese:
            To cook kidneys, “put in a pot with water or wine and boil the piss out of them”.

      • Raan

        Not tonight. Meat came out super tender though.

        • shastakoala

          Looks yummy. My mom used to simmer eye of round with onions and beef stock. It was more of an “aus jus” I’m thinking. Now I’m hungry.

          • Raan

            That’s more or less what I did, only in the oven.

        • Blackest Noobs

          how did you cook it?

          crock pot….grill….pressure cooker…inquiring stomachs wanna know.

          • Raan

            Simple. Sauteed some onions in a pan, then seared the beef. Put the onions and the beef in a casserole dish with about 3/4 cup of a mixture of beef stock, barbecue sauce, and a little brown sugar, cover with foil, and pop it in a 325° oven for an hour and a half.

            Of course, how much of the stock mix and how long you put it in for are going to depend on the size of your steaks/roast. For steaks, it should come about halfway up the steaks.

    • Blackest Noobs

      nice….skin bits in the mashed potatoes….

      • Yr. Gma

        I find I like the mashed potatoes with the skin on better without gravy.

        • Blackest Noobs

          a delicious mashed potatoes needs no gravy but if there are meat juices there ( i.e. gravy) then toot toot all aboard the gravy train!!!

        • C4TWOMAN

          I keep skin on my taters too, but I also too have gravy if there’s a meat involved. Why not both?

    • C4TWOMAN

      Yum.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Sometimes a ship takes you by surprise, but in retrospect it seems inevitable.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d6c7976aff4d80980fec599a8500cb9c8cda1aa3e9a3c63cb173fb64c0205cb6.jpg

  • Picabo

    “Oklahoma officer who killed unarmed black motorist is found not guilty. But who’s surprised?”
    http://www.dailykos.com/stories/2017/5/18/1663654/-Oklahoma-officer-who-killed-unarmed-black-motorist-is-found-not-guilty-But-who-s-surprised

    • snark-lurker

      i sigh deeply

    • msanthropesmr

      I was gonna post that I had a real shit day, and then I realized a lot of people’s days were way more shit than mine.

    • Blackest Noobs

      not black people that’s for sure. cops been doing this shit for decades.

  • Joe Beese

    That’s got to be a 300-level course.

    https://twitter.com/krisvancleave/status/864975311988981761

    • msanthropesmr

      It’s an elective.

      • Joe Beese

        Prerequisite: Completion of two 200-level Martyrdom courses or permission of the imam

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          “I totally blew my final.”

          “Way to go! Congratulations!”

    • Randy Riddle

      In may day, they were building bombs out of abacuses. Damn kids.

    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      Do they do distance education in English?

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    From weasel to weaselier (yeah, it’s not a real word, but it works here)
    https://twitter.com/politico/status/865325894977675265

    • Blackest Noobs

      if we use it enough, “weaselier,” it can become part of the lexicon.
      Samuel Johnson might roll over in his grave but that Port Drinking Fat Fucker is dead.

      • marxalot

        Ambrose Bierce, meanwhile, is still missing.

    • Joe Beese

      Was his head crushed in a vise at some point?

      http://media.salon.com/2015/10/trey-gowdy.jpg

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        He really is the dumbest-looking shithead in the entire Legislative. And the competition is fierce there.

        • Randy Riddle

          That’s one man that wears his soul on his face. Bless his heart.

      • snark-lurker

        LOL : )

      • Shibusa

        He looks like he’s a regular customer of David Duke’s plastic surgeon.

      • vivian

        Now THAT’s a trustworthy face.

      • Sophia

        Would he just get over it and shave his head. He looks like howdy doody with whatever that is on top.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a2eea33dad9a95c85eb2c8742019590df36df59b2cc9b0604114c438cf97fb7b.jpg

      • SkinlessGenderlessMan

        Judge Doom from Who Framed Roger Rabbit!!

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      BRB, throwing up.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Goddam, that’s a creepy picture. Though I’ve never seen a picture of Gowdy that isn’t.

    • Shibusa

      Trump’s hoping Trey Benghazi Gowdy can once again waste two years and untold millions of dollars on an investigation that produces nothing.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        He’s got about 18 months to do it. Unless the Democrats stay home again in Nov 2018

    • Amelia Resists and Persists

      Isn’t he also leadership on the House Intel Cmte too without Nunes?

      Like, that’s two too many super important investigations for Benghazi Malfoy as far as I’m concerned.

      Has anyone checked him for Putin goo recently?

  • Picabo

    “Open thread for night owls: Funded by 0.001%ers, charter school backers take over L.A. school board”
    http://www.dailykos.com/?page=3

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Oh, fuck, I know some people in my resistance groups who won’t be happy at all. I’ll have to buy them a drink the next time I see them!

  • Wee Mousie

    Republicans always project. What is in a “death spiral” is the Trump so-called Administration, and by extension, the Republican party.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I can’t tell whether this is a serious idea or a troll. But either one works for me.

  • Chadwells

    Has some astute observer already mentioned this? Our National Embarrassment talking to the president of Columbia about eradicating fucking chocolate bean trees?? Did I hear him wrong?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4ee746cfea8aa434cb7573f1e5de4dbaec319039e13fd34ab0b9e383ee68b985.jpg

    • lroom

      Thank you! I thought I was hearing that wrong.

    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      It wouldn’t surprise me at all. Not at ALL.

    • Red Bird Ω

      Weird. You’d think he would know the difference.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Well, one sure way of starting a revolution would be to threaten everyone’s chocolate supply….

    • SkinlessGenderlessMan

      In keeping with previous President/precedent:
      noo-kyoo-lar instead of new-klee-ar

      Eh? Seems more “normal” now?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I’m off for now to go to a doctor’s appointment (may as well use my healthcare while I’ve still got it.) Leaving on this note:

    https://twitter.com/ezlusztig/status/865310819390816257

  • Joe Beese
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      “He’s helping me launder my loan money from Russian plutocrats.”

    • MizzMazz

      “Look at my tie! It’s like a candy cane!”

  • sadboy

    Damn, that’s cool. Props to McCaskill for a creative end-run around the whole ACA congressional clusterfuck. Probably won’t go anywhere, but at least it shows that someone in Congress spends more time on creative problem solving than on reciting rote talking-point bullshit on cable news shows.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • Chadwells

      Ugh…little shit weasel can’t be gone soon enough.

    • Shibusa

      Thank the Lord we’ll have Gowdy there to continue Beating the Dead Horse!

  • bookish

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a55113/jared-kushner-fire-comey/

    Once again, as Lord of the Flies unfolds at Camp Runamuck, it’s hard to hear clearly over the sound of so many axes being ground. But it’s pretty plain that there isn’t a sliver of daylight between the president* and his son-in-law when it comes to petty grifting and a vicious instinct for self-preservation.

    The idea that he was going to be the moderating influence in this White House always was laughable. If this report is true, and Jared Kushner advised his father-in-law to fire the FBI director because the FBI was rooting around the Kushner precincts of the Great National Grift, therefore setting off the current political firestorm, then he’s not competent enough to sit in the high councils of government, either.

    • Joe Beese

      Remember that Kushner saw his father sentenced to two years in prison for this kind of ratfuckery. He’s probably more attuned to the risks of the dynamite he’s playing with than Trump is.

      • bookish

        I think you’ve got a point. But like Trump, Jared just doesn’t care.

        • HorseChestnut

          Of course not- the risk isn’t being born by him. The people who are going to face life-ruining consequences from this are not named “Kushner.”

      • C4TWOMAN

        Jared is probably not happy with how reckless Trump is playing this game. But he’s invested in the game nonetheless.

      • Red Bird Ω

        He probably also thinks his father was not the wrong one.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      councels. FIFY

    • C4TWOMAN

      After watching the Zembla doco on Trump, his Russian mob connections and the diamond trade, I agree Jared being a moderating influence is ridiculous. but before knowing all of Jared’s buiseness assets, he looked reasonable–incomparison with the rest of the Mercer/Nazi/Clown crew.

      • Red Bird Ω

        He and Ivanka were the ones who brought Mercer on board.

        • C4TWOMAN

          I somehow missed that.

    • cmd resistor

      Last line of the story was also good: “I’ve never been so glad that we do not have a hereditary monarchy in this country. Imagine the bloody wars of succession between Junior, Eric, and Jared. The Wars of the Schmoeses.”

    • Red Bird Ω

      If the rumors were true Kushner is also responsible for Christie being kicked out of the transition team.

  • Anna Rompage

    So, I’m curious about Donad’s ideals around “extreme vetting” & appointing only the best, seeing he picked Flynn even after he know that Flynn was under investigation by the FBI, and was warned by both Obama & Yates…

    • Yr. Gma

      “Extreme vetting”=Is he white? Okee dokee.

      • bookish

        And corruptible? He’s in, like well…Flynn.

    • Meccalopolis

      So immigrants are vetted better than t rump’s national security advisor

      • efoveks

        Thanks to Obama. Of course! ;)

    • jesterpunk

      He even wants Flynn back in the White House now.

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        HeRussia even wants Flynn back in the White House now.

        FIFY

        • jesterpunk

          Let him rehire him, that would make it even harder for him to deny a second time that he didnt know anything about Flynn.

  • Daisy

    This is the single greatest witch hunt of a politician in American history!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 18, 2017

    Honestly, I’m mostly concerned about the number of people that liked this.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      bot… bot…

      • Daisy

        Hopefully. At least I’m pretty sure my current favorite band is getting more votes a day for their Billboard nomination. There’s that.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          So, hey, my kid graduates from her hyperliberal state school tomorrow, so I was randomly wondering how your year ended up.

    • Rick Hill

      “This is the single greatest witch hunt of a politician in American history!”

      Only because the repubs never found anything on Obama….

      • Daisy

        And look how hard they tried with Hillary. Oh, I’m sorry, “are trying” if Fox News indicates anything.

    • efoveks

      Donnie no know no history.

      • weejee

        Just the things he took.

    • jesterpunk
      • Daisy

        Both of them are laughing their asses off right now, or were when they saw it, I guarantee it.

      • bookish

        My damn heroes.

    • boyblue122
      • Daisy

        That is great.

  • bookish

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/wake-up-kushners-a-baddie-too

    What I want to focus on for this moment, however, is the recurring insistence on treating these decisions as matters of inexperience or flawed press strategies or – somewhat more credibly – impulse control. No one is so inexperienced or naive as to fail to understand that when you fire someone who might discover your crimes or misdeeds that you’re doing something wrong.

  • Michael R

    I don’t think Trump is ever coming out of his bubble

    https://s15.postimg.org/tt1tdz4ff/trump_bubble_up.jpg

    • Me The People

      He’s got a whole team of people constantly patching and reinforcing that bubble, lest he get a sad.

  • Rick Hill
  • Joe Beese

    President Donald Trump’s inner circle is war-gaming how best to respond to the Washington Post’s bombshell report that he shared classified intelligence with the Russians about an Islamic State plot, sensitive information reportedly passed to the United States by Israel.

    One option under consideration? Attack former President Barack Obama and his administration over their handling of sensitive data, in particular through one information-sharing program regarding cybersecurity threats. …

    The administration’s approach in this instance is a “bag of crazy cats,” the source with knowledge of the meeting said.

    http://foreignpolicy.com/2017/05/18/trump-team-planning-possible-retaliation-for-classified-leak-allegations/

    http://www.cutenessoverflow.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/cat-picture-bag-10.jpg

    • boyblue122

      itll go over as well as his last Obama attack

    • cmd resistor

      Those cats could run the country better. And they are cute.

      • Joe Beese

        The appointments of Snowflake and Mittens received a positive response from members of both parties. Representative Louie Gohmert (R-TX) said, “This may get me in trouble back home. But I could just gobble them up.”

    • Vecchioivan

      “We’re the crazy ones. Right.”

  • Picabo

    WTF “Rod Rosenstein: I Knew Trump Would Fire Comey Before I Wrote The Memo Trump Used To Justify Firing”
    http://www.joemygod.com/2017/05/18/rod-rosenstein-knew-trump-fire-comey-wrote-memo-trump-used-justify-firing/

  • Anna Rompage

    Lovely take down of the vanity of Sheriff Clarke, though it appears our precedent seems awfully impressed with all those fake medals…

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2017/5/18/1663660/-Army-vet-goes-in-on-Sheriff-Clarke-s-toy-uniform-with-its-novelty-pins

    • Shoto

      I’ve been waiting for someone to take this fucker down about his garish, vain, bullshit Big Cop cosplay. Real Badasses don’t flaunt it.

    • Me The People

      He’s another psychopath, also wouldn’t be surprised if Trump has a pile of kompromat on him. Loyalty is the keyword.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Saw that earlier. Klingons at sci-fi conventions don’t wear so much militaristic bling. It’s a little surprising that he doesn’t have epaulets.

    • Ken S., As Seen On Watch Lists

      That’s amazing.

  • vivian

    Smart money says Trump is going to appoint Flynn as head of FBI…

  • ken_kukec

    At his presser with the Colombian prez today, the Donald was having one of his hair days where the whole coiffure shifts, such that the fault line usually serving as his “part” opens up into a seem that looks for all the world like a lobotomy scar.

    • Shoto

      “…looks for all the world like a lobotomy scar.”

      This would explain a lot.

      • sw19wilson

        Aren’t lobotomies supposed to calm and sedate manic lunatics, tho?

      • weejee

        Self-inflicted, too, also.

    • La forza del resistino

      Only 1 scar? The surgeons had to make more than 1 cut until they gave up and determined there was nothing there to start with.

      • ken_kukec

        Yeah, like wildcat oil roughnecks giving up after repeatedly tapping a dry well.

  • boyblue122

    Does Trump even realize what going on in the world around him

    https://twitter.com/NoahShachtman/status/865283233877032960

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    DO ANY OF THESE IDIOTS KNOW WHAT RECUSAL MEANS? https://twitter.com/CNN/status/865332116464312320

    • Me The People

      Unbelievable.

    • vivian

      Isn’t it when you borrow your friend’s RV?

    • Rick Hill

      Of course. It’s when you thought you were going to pass gas and then it was a false alarm except you were just standing to leave the room. They all know what it means

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        That, or a silent shart.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          SBD. Silent but deadly.

    • Daisy
    • Shoto

      Not only is this guy plainly stupid, he even looks like a dim-bulb. “Hey, gimme all them records. I can ‘vestigate stuff real good.”

    • Anna Rompage

      He’s got to let his boss man know what’s coming down the pike, otherwise he risks being ratted on as well…

    • alpacapunchbowl

      How/why does he have access?

    • Sophia

      No

  • Shoto
    • Joe Beese

      Trump has already brushed off a tape admitting to sexual assault. He wouldn’t care about a pee tape.

      Proof of laundering money for the Russian mob, the kind that could send him to federal prison for the rest of his life, that’s another story.

      • Shoto

        Ever since the beginning of this shitshow, I’ve thought the election tampering angle was the least of it. Drumpf’s deep financial ties with gangsters and kleptocrats around the world is the big story. In fact, one will lead into the other, and vice versa.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Of that I’m 100% certain.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Pay fine, without admitting wrongdoing. Business as usual for the 1%

  • Mary Sandoras

    So it’s 6:30 pm ET. Did we escape another news dump or will they wait until Trump returns? I really could use a break from the ahole in chief, so I’ll just be grateful for now. Maybe wonkette staff can get some R&R tonight.

    • jesterpunk

      Dont jinx it but it looks like we did.

  • jowgajen

    Mom Paralyzed After Eating Gas Station Nacho Cheese

    http://www.sacbee.com/news/local/health-and-medicine/article150908817.html

    • vivian

      If it wasn’t her cheese, why’d she eat it?

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        I don’t want to taco ’bout it.

        • Anna Rompage

          Hopefully she will not need the services of al Pastor because of this…

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Oooooooo

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Louis Pasteur might be more useful.

    • Shoto

      Wait: I thought all that greasy shit was supposed to lubricate everything? What the…?

    • Anna Rompage

      Who knew fake nacho cheese could actually go bad….

      • Shoto

        Exactly! I thought that greasy crap would last about a zillion years. Like plutonium, or something.

        • Anna Rompage

          Or like a Twinkie!

    • Meccalopolis

      I feel bad for laughing at that

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        I told my mom about this story and she said that my dad’s new favorite place to eat is a snack bar at a nearby gas station. My dad (age 80) has eating habits like Trump, lots of comfort food whether it’s good for him or not. I asked my mom if the lady has a health department inspection sticker, and she was like “how the hell would I know”?

  • Jennifer R

    Nice thing about mania is that you forget about food too.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Not necessarily the best weight-loss plan, but ‘kay.

      • Jennifer R

        I’ve got like 10 hours sleep in the last week. Starting to think falling off my psych meds totally is bad.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Just a skosh…

          • Jennifer R

            Gotta have a doctor to renew them.

  • C4TWOMAN

    Kay, now an actual adult is in charge of something that has a good chance of hurting the Trump Rieche, I need to ween myself from staring at the ongoing train wreck/dumpster fire and TRY to be productive.

    Wish me luck…..

    • vivian

      I would, but I have abandonment issues…

      oh, what the hell. Good luck!

      *sobs into napkin inconsolably*

      • C4TWOMAN

        There, there…
        *pats shoulder*

        You can do it…

      • Rick Hill

        Abandonment? I just have this to say, Viv….
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

        • vivian

          Gaaaaack! Canned clams can sing!

          • Rick Hill

            This can’t be that bad. It has over 300 mill views.

          • vivian

            Rick has a lot of time on his hands.

          • Rick Hill

            Only because I spend so much of it ignoring my responsibilities

          • vivian

            OH! NOT YOU! I meant Astley!

  • Rick Hill

    This is why we can’t have nice things, anymore
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aZm50mX_700b.jpg

    • Red Bird Ω

      Sure, but my GOD is bigger than your god.

      • TootsStansbury

        My God let’s me have WINE. Huh.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          My God lets the wimminz have sex.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      A so-called “GOD” that never shows up. Yeah, riiiiiiiiigt.

      Fucking delusional scumbags.

    • aureolaborealis

      I love how there’s always a flag somewhere in view when people are saying things like this. What, exactly, do you think the country you say you love is?
      The religious analogue to waving the Stars & Stripes and the confederate flag at the same time.

    • “M”

      Who was it who said that when fascism comes to America it would be “wrapped in a flag and carrying a cross”?

      Was it Einstein…?

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Fred Flintstone

    • Lamashtar

      Ahaha. There is a Russian propaganda cartoon like this:

      Ukrainian: We have America on our side!
      Russian: We have GOD on ours.

  • memzilla Ω
    • La forza del resistino

      Wow, More times change, the GOP stays the same.

    • Sophia

      I thin someone gave trump that list

    • Bobathonic

      Thanks, I need to share that.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Prescient. September 12, 2016

    While the impact of 1960s fashion, music and style on today’s culture and aesthetics cannot be denied, global politics apparently has little in common with its values; instead being reminiscent of a far darker time. Populists with frenzied and divisive rhetoric peddle fear and seed disinformation, seemingly taking inspiration from 1930s paranoia rather than the “open mind” that 1960s utopian thinking proposed. Brexit is a consequence, but there will be others as this “me-first” nationalist mentality spreads.

    A characteristic of the time that today’s leaders do honour, however, is disobedience. We broke the rules, provoked and behaved badly en masse in pursuit of a greater good. I would wager that Donald Trump and his loud, angry supporters believe they are doing exactly that.

    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/sep/12/revolutionary-1960s-dark-times-technology

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2cbd4b9bc3f2be7ebf78554dff9be84ba922bff00497ec41db3d7c8a6bc49ae2.jpg

    But the Internet as turned that access inside out.

    • TootsStansbury

      They’re doing it rong. The Trumplings are fighting for the greater evil and when the boomers were acting up, they’re the ones who were tattling on them.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        TRUTH.

  • chascates

    I only had one real choice under ACA and it costs me $5.21 a month and I’m tickled shitless.

    • Shoto

      Paul ZEGS Ryan wants to fix that problem for you.

  • Meccalopolis

    So, do we get a night off or what… OMG! !!

    Just kidding

  • Chadwells

    Side note….so no comment from Fuckface about the Times Sq. incident. Isn’t he Mr. Fucking New York? Asshole.

    • Yr. Gma

      Radical Islamic Terrorist?

      • Chadwells

        Drunk idiot…but left 1 dead and 19 injured.

        • snark-lurker

          was his radio playing Rushat the time?

        • Blackest Noobs

          the messicans are drinking our alcohols, driving our cars, etc

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          Oh, shit. That really sucks.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        The other brown – Latinx.

  • sw19wilson
    • Shoto

      Babby Kitteh!

    • Joe Beese

      MEOW

    • Red Bird Ω

      If that showed up at my front door I would tell it to go fetch the newspaper.

      • Blackest Noobs

        hell the fucking paper….i would go to Penn Ave in DC, and when we spotted the Orange Scrotum, say SIC ‘EM GIRL….SIC HIM!!!

      • Me The People

        It’s head is the same size as the womans.

        • Red Bird Ω

          That’s what they said about my older brother when he was born.

    • Me The People

      That’s the smallest woman I’ve ever seen!

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I thought my old roommate’s Maine Coon was enormous. Kitty would try to get in my room in the middle of the night and start headbutting the door. I was frequently woken up because he made the entire wall shake.

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    I’m flipping anxiously between news sites because it’s already 6:40 and I am broken.

    Going to listen to a video game podcast before I go full conspiracy theorist and start researching Trey Gowdy’s Russia ties now that he’s set to lead both House Intel and Oversight Committees on Russia investigations.

  • Red Bird Ω

    It’s almost 6pm CST. Any new news????
    Also, too, I dug up some old pants (that we don’t wear) from three whole years ago that were too small for me. Now I’m rocking those skinny jeans again. If I keep this up I’ll be back at the same size I was 10 years ago. Thanks Obama!

    • Mary Sandoras

      Awesome, been there, done that, need to repeat again.

      • Red Bird Ω

        You can do it!!!

        • Mary Sandoras

          I did it before with low carb and I know I can do it again. I just need to commit at this point.

          • Red Bird Ω

            True story. The only reason I’ve been able to lose the extra weight that I have is because I found a system that works with the way I already ate and exercised. Seriously. I use an online app that tracks the calories in what I eat everyday and tells me how much I can eat for the day. The caloric limit is calculated based on how much I want to lose every week. I chose the 1 pound a week plan so the adjustment was easy. And I pick an exercise routine that I like to do anyway but vary the level of difficulty every week to keep from getting stuck in a rut. I also make sure I get a lot of sleep. I’ve been told that’s important.

  • Me The People

    Yeah Donald, it was maybe everyone else in the Republican party that was colluding with the Russians, but definitely not you.

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/may/18/trump-strays-white-house-message-mueller-witch-hunt

    • Red Bird Ω

      I thoroughly dislike this guy.

      • You many have something in common with several Republicans and most of the rest of the Democratic Party

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Why is all this shit only coming out NOW?

    • Shoto

      It’s too early to toast the destruction of ZEGS Ryan’s political “career,” but if things keep moving in this direction, we might eventually be able to break out some bottles of the bubbly.

      Have I mentioned that I loathe Paul ZEGS Ryan with the heat of 10,000 suns?

      • Not eleventy-one desert suns?

        • Shoto

          Yeah, let’s throw those in too, also.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Right there with you. The heat of my hate glows so strong, I give people sunburn if they’re near me too long.
        If/when he finally goes I will howl to the moon and dance a jig.

  • Marceline

    This is really good. The Repubs love to talk about buying insurance across state lines. Claire took that talking point and shoved it up their ass.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    It was a great time to be a kid. Maybe all kids say that. At my age now, I just don’t see our kids able to enjoy even a Western life now without unnecessary stress and uncertainty. After 1968, man.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ecd15f92095dae313a99983984c7dbe9c4f00e490f8459ee53fdb3fbdf32b893.jpg

    • vivian

      Apparently now is a great time to be a kid too. Unfortunately you don’t get to be a kid in today’s America until after age 50.

      • TJ Barke

        “The golf links lie so near the mill. That almost every day. The laboring children can look out. And see the men at play”

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Second childhood. Except this time, I have my own money, my own car and no curfew.

    • tehbaddr

      Always loved the saturated colors of TOS, like kodachrome, or slide film.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I was 6 in 1968. I graduated HS in 1979 and because my family was fucking dysfunctional, I had a blast. Halloween wasn’t destroyed yet. I could get my mom’s car in the evenings and I could drive my friends to all the parties and clubs. Drinking age was 18, but I rarely drank and never toked. I was so straight edge that all the parents loved me. As a girl, I was always let in the club without id. I got to go everywhere.

  • Anna Rompage

    “Colluding? Is that like when you’re giving your daughter a back rub and get a bit of a stiffy?” Donad Trump

    • vivian

      ewwww

      • snark-lurker

        thx Viv i was at a loss

    • Red Bird Ω

      0_o Why did you do that?

    • tehbaddr

      Chubby, short tumescence?

  • BadKitty904

    Did we break the Open Thread?

    • vivian

      I think correct grammar is: Did we break Open the Thread?

      • Red Bird Ω

        I think in Shakespearean English it is: Hast we broken t’Open Thread, m’lady?

        • CindyinEncinitas

          In my Granny’s house it would be “wut happened to the Open Thread? Go cut me a switch.”

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            My grandma had her own “spanking stick”. She got tired of us bringing lame implements like wands from the willow tree. She rarely used it but she threatened a lot.

    • Shoto

      We broked the open thread Real Good!!

  • data_ninja

    Trump did not say ‘cocoa’ instead of ‘coca’. That’s all just lies and Hershey, there is no truth Nestle’d into it. This kind of talk Mars the image of the president and our country. I swear to Godiva you people better not be repeating these untruths!

    • Rasilom

      Well played, you just one the Internet.

      • vivian

        I think ninja foured it.

      • data_ninja

        Trump said that if Toby Keith can’t make the trip with him, he might ask Ted Nougat or Eminem.

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          OMG

        • jesterpunk

          Lee Greenwood is busy?

          • data_ninja

            Dunno. Does he go by Mr. Goodbar these days?

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas
        • Meccalopolis

          Please tell me Eminem is not wing nut

          • data_ninja

            Eh, he fit into my chocolate theme. You know, say his name out loud :)

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Eminem has been quiet since he went through rehab. Maybe his muse left him. Mine said “fuck it” during my second divorce. A full ten years later, I’m just now getting my creative mojo back.
            And this my favorite Eminem video:
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVkUvmDQ3HY

          • Meccalopolis

            My divorce was liberating but I was involved in a cideoendent relationship with an alcoholic spouse

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    NEVERMIND I’M BACK BECAUSE BETSY FUCKING DEVOS WANTS TO END COLLEGE LOAN FORGIVENESS.

    http://www.salon.com/2017/05/18/betsy-devos-plans-to-slash-public-education-funding-eliminate-college-loan-forgiveness-report/

    • jesterpunk

      In order to afford its roughly $400 million program in favor of charter
      schools and school vouchers, the Trump administration wants to
      drastically reduce funding for college work-study programs and entirely
      eliminate public school funding that could be used for mental health,
      advanced coursework and other services, according to a report by The Washington Post.
      The Trump administration would also eliminate public-service loan
      forgiveness, all of which is part and parcel of its overall planned
      $10.6 billion reduction in federal education spending.

      Well they want to kill mental health funding the rest of the way too.

      • Daisy

        Basically they want to keep me from affording college.

        • jesterpunk

          All so they can give that money to charter schools with no actually proven results but it lines their pockets.

        • JustDon’tSaySurety

          Speaking of which, how’s that going this semester? I recall you stressing a bit a few months ago.

          • Daisy

            Semester’s over, although I don’t know about grades yet.

          • JustDon’tSaySurety

            How do you feel you did?

          • Daisy

            Okay for my Irish Lit class, I passed Chinese (it doesn’t count in my GPA measurements because I P/NP it) I don’t know about G&WS because my final paper is pretty bad, imo, and it’s worth a lot, and I just found out that I got an A in English.

          • JustDon’tSaySurety

            Fingers crossed; we’re rooting for you!

          • JustDon’tSaySurety

            And BTW, if it’s none of my biz, you can tell me to butt out.

      • vivian

        The President is insane and they want to cut all mental health funding. Not real big on irony, these folks…

      • Three Finger Salute

        The goopers think that you don’t need mental health care if you just give all your problems over to Jesus. Depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia — all of these are symptoms of not getting right with God. Or that God just doesn’t like you, maybe because your parents sinned or you sinned in the womb when God already knew you, and that’s his right to do because only He controls the invisible hand of the free market.

        Once again, folks: A group of people who believes something as deranged as this thinks mental healthcare is unnecessary.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          True story – When I first had my breakdown last January, they sent me to an awful hospital. Absolutely no therapy but the church groups would descend with prayer meetings. I was in a locked ward for 10 days and absolutely refused to attend any prayer meetings. I told them that I belong to a church (Episcopal) and that I didn’t want to hear it. There was another woman there, older and Caribbean, who kept shouting “Jesus is a Zombie”. Because he is – died and then came back to life and spooked his guys. We have a huge Caribbean presence in my parish, as my priest (now bishop) has a Caribbean American wife. A lot of them are basically Deists. It’s cool.
          So back to this lady. She started in with the “Jesus is a Zombie” and I went up to her and said “I’m a Pastafarian!”. And we would chant “Amen, Ramen”, until she was released. Man, they hated me there. I journaled and documented all the BS. Pages of my journal would disappear so I started drawing and coloring some pages (for myself) and writing out all the crap I was observing. Some asshole stole my Darth Vader t-shirt I had been wearing when I was admitted, but I gave one lady with no shoes my black leather Converse All-stars when I was released.
          My second hospitalization in June/July was way better. I still see their psychiatrist and now only every 3 months. The right meds make a BIG difference.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Wow, sorry to hear that happened to you! But good that it turned out better in the end. That sounds like it would make for a great play or even a movie. And good on you that you helped that lady.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Thanks. I have physical disability which needs meds and I have major depressive/bipolar II which needs meds. The second hospital straightened it out. Can you imagine being diagnosed with bipolar at age 54? I must have the coping skills like a bawse.

    • Blackest Noobs

      that sucks.

      i got my dead dad to pay for my grad school. he wouldve paid for it regardless if he was still living. which is fine cuz i paid for my undergrad myself.

      but as for schools and shit….NON PROFIT my fucking ass!

    • TootsStansbury

      I hate these heinous motherfuckers.

    • chascates

      I find it increasingly harder to adhere to the Rules For Commenting Radicals reading things like this.

    • TJ Barke

      Enslave the graduates with debt and create an underclass that can never afford to go at all.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      This will trigger an ever greater recession! Who could possibly grow tired of all this winning while enjoying the bonus fun of filing Chapter 7 bankruptcy? Oh, but those loans aren’t dischargeable? Well then, enjoy your Masters with a side of Ramen, you elitist reader!

      • TJ Barke

        Yes, these filthy intulekshuls must learn their place!

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I hate how they are fucking over the Millennials and younger people. You would not believe how much easier it was to go to college when I did (1979-1983). Costs were low ($275/semester for tuition, $265/semester for room), especially at the best state schools. I went to Georgia Tech and went into telecom. Do you remember what crap the “phone system” was before divestiture (Ma Bell Breakup)? Do you like your smartphone? They weren’t created out of thin air, assholes?

      • Three Finger Salute

        Considering the fact that the iPhone is probably the most popular model, it’s worth pointing out yet again that it was invented by the son of a Syrian immigrant.

  • Shoto
    • tehbaddr

      And that’s why we should bring back the guillotine. Well that and the imagery, and history.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    “They would let Donald Trump burn their fucking house down if the liberal next door had to choke on the smoke for 15 minutes.”

    https://youtu.be/IbMzHnMqotw

    • YoBunnyBunny

      He ain’t never lied.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I want to have sex with this man, with him saying filthy things in that bizarre accent.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        That’s really not a bizarre accent, for the South. At least he enunciates. It’s way worse when they grunt or mumble.

        • Amy!

          Heh. That’s the sound of home. I grew up with that accent (since my parents grew up in Ohio, I also grew up with that accent, and locked it in in college; folks outside of East Tennessee figure anybody with the ET accent is dumber ‘n a box of rocks).

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I spent most of my childhood away from Atlanta, but I was born in Nashville and had a broad accent that mellowed after 5 years in upstate NY. My mom said that the babysitters loved to listen to me talk when we first moved to Albany. I’ve been back for 45 years and my accent has thickened back up some.

          • grindstone

            Western NC here. Yeah, he’ damn articulate.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          I was born in California. I expect everyone to sound like a surfer.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      The beleaguered husband chortled loudly.

  • tehbaddr

    OK, I admit that I didn’t even bother to read the post. Open thread, so what’s up fellow wonkers?

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea
      • tehbaddr

        Happy lizards, I like that!

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        That is ridiculously cute. They got him a toy?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Probably should. Sen McCaskill has come up with a clever way to push back against the destruction of ACA which will at the very least be of some use when the roaches and Cher send envoys to the beyond to find out what the fuck was wrong with us.

      • tehbaddr

        Tell me more about the connection that Cher has with the roaches.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          You are not aware of the immutable law of nature where the only indestructible creatures to survive any manmade apocalypse are cockroaches and Cher?

          • tehbaddr

            The inclusion of Cher is new to me, I am teh olds and need to pay more attention to keeping up on the current memes.

            BTW I got this spinner fidget thing and my mind is completely washed when I use it. NOT!

          • Carpe Vagenda

            also too Inam teh olds :)

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            And Keith Richards! Did you hear that Keith was once rushed to the ER and they actually found blood in his heroin stream?
            Ba Bum.

          • tehbaddr

            Try your waitress, and don’t forget to tip the veal!

          • SkinlessGenderlessMan

            Had a waitress yesterday. She said I was very trying….

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Dude.

    • Rick Hill

      So you have your monitor/screen use all those pixels and then don’t even use them? What kind of monster are you?

      • tehbaddr

        Exactly that kind of monster who’s worked a long hard day and just wants to get to the snark, like a sarcasm junkie!

  • Jennifer R

    Whoo now if you have a fight with two different kinds of enemies and kill the first one, the art for the second enemy gets passed to the first slot properly.

    • unpocketedstupidcomments

      Are you talking about Trump and Pence?

      • Jennifer R

        I am writing an interactive fiction from scratch, starting with learning how to code, write , and draw.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    OT: Any predictions about what’s going to happen tonight at 6PM? Ailes had to go an die early this morning, so what do you guys think is going to happen this fine evening?

    • Shoto

      Zombie Roger Ailes will rise from his crypt and start roaming around the US Capitol? Just spitballin’…

      • Daisy

        Seems legit.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    119 days of this shit.

    • Shoto

      But who’s counting, right? No, wait…

    • jesterpunk

      It feels like 119 years.

    • tehbaddr

      Oh, counting the days then? That sort of behavior reeks of unwillingness to go the long haul.

      • JustDon’tSaySurety

        Count me among the unwilling.

        • tehbaddr

          Fortitude my fellow wonker! His side show carnival barker show as presidental will come to a tragic end. Have faith. Or ya know call your congressmen to have him hung out!

          • JustDon’tSaySurety

            Barbara Lee? Oh, she’s on it, I’m sure!

          • tehbaddr

            I love her strudels and cakes. Wait, umm…

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    Whatta day! I had a court date for my car accident. I’m fighting the ticket. Get up at 7, pick up my Zipcar, drive 30 miles across town, only to find out that those fuckers had rescheduled for June 1. So since I had time, I got some breakfast (cheese & bacon omelet) and a haircut.
    The afternoon? Doctor’s appointment. Gastroenterology as follow-up for the ER visit on Sunday. Diagnosis? Bleeding ulcer. So I have continue protonix for three months and then have a endoscopy. Fun!
    After the doctor, I went to Old Navy to buy new shorts with my birthday gift cards. Winning – 30% off so I got three pair, two dresses and a shirt! Was also able to jit the grocery before the Zipcar was due back.
    The menu tonight? I gorged on fruit and keeping with this fruitarian diet, I drinking some wine. Bedtime, I get to end the day with a big honking dose of milk of magnesia.
    Isn’t getting older fun?! I’m exhausted.

    • Picabo

      Getting older sucks but it beats the alternative.

      • Rick Hill

        Drinking the blood of virgins to keep young?

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Is wine a fruit now?
      *hope the ulcer heals swiftly, but I would suggest avoiding reality for the duration so you don’t aggravate it…oh, that’s where the wine comes in! Carry on

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        It’s fermented grapes. I’m counting it. I’ve had to do the last two nights without enhancement, so I made sure I could get a demi bottle for tonight and another as a backup. This shit isn’t done.

    • JustDon’tSaySurety

      I just listened to a dietician (certification unknown) tell us we can only absorb about 2 apples’ worth of fructose.
      Could be a bunch of woo, could be legit.
      Also too, there’s mold in or on coffee, grains, but for some reason not tea.
      And the mold mycotoxins are bad for the mitochondria, which is why our metabolisms slow.
      I think I get to spend time sorting the latest nonsense from actual science.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        I was told Sunday to eat more fiber while I am on this drug, but that it would also block me up. Dr. sez my usual solution of milk of magnesia is safe.
        I only drink one cup of coffee per day and I don’t eat much bread. So that’s not it.
        And that dietician is full of hooey because the new inverted food pyramid encourages a lot of fruits and vegetables. Maybe she was talking about diabetics? But eating fruit is healthier than drinking juices also too.

        • JustDon’tSaySurety

          Some fruits better than others, says she and whatever her source is. I’m supposed to get presentation material by email. I’ll use that as a starting point for some citation research.

          Shit. I don’t have time for this. But I would like to fit in my clothes a little better.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            My mom gave me a really great “jump start” diet that one her friends got from the cardiac unit at University of Alabama Birmingham (UAB). They are one of the best in the South for heart disease. You drop between 4-10 pounds over the three days, depending on how much you exercise. Then, you can start eating better. Here is link to where I posted it to FB. If you can’t get it, I can create a pdf.Whatta day! I had a court date for my car accident. I’m fighting the ticket. Get up at 7, pick up my Zipcar, drive 30 miles across town, only to find out that those fuckers had rescheduled for June 1. So since I had time, I got some breakfast (cheese & bacon omelet) and a haircut.
            The afternoon? Doctor’s appointment. Gastroenterology as follow-up for the ER visit on Sunday. Diagnosis? Bleeding ulcer. So I have continue protonix for three months and then have a endoscopy. Fun!
            After the doctor, I went to Old Navy to buy new shorts with my birthday gift cards. Winning – 30% off so I got three pair, two dresses and a shirt! Was also able to jit the grocery before the Zipcar was due back.
            The menu tonight? I gorged on fruit and keeping with this fruitarian diet, I drinking some wine. Bedtime, I get to end the day with a big honking dose of milk of magnesia.

    • La forza del resistino

      Sorry to hear. Advice is to stay away from ice floes and your in-laws.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        My parents are still extant. Mom is 79 and is doing quite well. Dad is 80 and his systems are all fucked up. There is lower hanging fruit.

    • JustDon’tSaySurety

      I take citrucil daily; have since before I turned 40. It helps a lot.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Thanks! I am usually regular so I was immediately alarmed.

    • Persistent Demme

      Didn’t they find out that ulcers were caused by bacteria?
      Can’t they give you an antibiotic for it?
      (Please pardon my ignorance on this subject. Now, if we were talking about migraines…)

  • bluicebank

    I’ll have to turn myself in for questioning before G-Man Robert Mueller. Donnie figured out there was a witch hunt.

    There was. Me and my cohorts found three of them in a cave, and paid them the going rate for laying down a thing on one Short Fingered Vulgarian.

    As we slunk off, we heard a cackling, then in three-part harmony:

    “Double, double toil and trouble;
    Fire burn, and caldron bubble.”

    Money well spent.

  • La forza del resistino

    Donald hits the road for 9 days. Never one to pass up a chance to grift, he has Airbnb handling 2nd floor WH rentals while he’s away.

    • jesterpunk

      How much? Can we book it for Hillary then change the locks while Trump is out or just claim the country moved before he comes back?

      • Shoto

        Good idea. Definitely worth a shot.

        • jesterpunk

          It’s a crazy idea but it’s not crazier then anything else that has happened lately so it really might work.

      • La forza del resistino

        That scheme recalls the ‘Blazing Saddles’ scene where the townspeople built a facsimile of their town to fool the bad guys.

        • jesterpunk

          That is where I borrowed the idea from.

          • La forza del resistino

            You da best Mel. :)

        • Ferroequinologist Ron

          It’d work, you know.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        “I’m sorry, but this is West America. The America you want is over that-a-way a little ways. At the ocean, keep going for a bit, then turn right at the dolphins. Can’t miss ’em”

    • Chadwells

      Ooooohhhh…We can go and make our own pee tape!!! I’ll pay for some Russian pee hookers to do business on his bed!!

    • ltmcdies

      You know, Democrats…. all the best coups happen when the leader is out of the country

      Not telling yah what to do…or anything

  • Me The People

    Even the Daily Caller going a bit off-message on the subject of Trump favourite Erdogans thugs – looks like Erdogan personally ordered/directed the attack:

    http://dailycaller.com/2017/05/18/video-emerges-of-turkeys-president-watching-as-his-goons-attack-protesters-video/

  • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

    Evenin’ folkses. Anything interesting going on lately?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      No new shit, yet. Just lots of Trump denials.

      • Robert Gibson

        I think we’re gonna get out of this day alright. Evan can have a break!

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Yeah, CNN with Anderson is talking about how Trump is a bad liar. Can’t pick a story and stick with it. Now he’s back to denial. And he still hasn’t hired a lawyer. Maybe he needs to Better Call Saul.

    • Doug Langley

      Enh. Rained a little. Had a job interview. Oh, and Trump declared war on chocolate.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    From the NYT: “Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, called on Mr. Trump to operate with “less drama.”
    He then withdrew back into his shell.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      That happened a couple of days ago, before Mueller, ZEGS’ tape, etc…

    • Mehmeisterjr

      “Less drama” is a concept unknown to Trump.

      And even Trump’s drama queen shitstorms are preferable to McConnell’s creepy sneak attacks on America.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Yes, because when I think “Whose opinion really matters on this whole Trump/Russia thing?” I immediately think of Stephen A. Smith and Ted Nugent.

    https://twitter.com/cafedotcom/status/865335137398964224

    • ariel_gee_398

      Republicans are really making strides in bringing A-list celebrities over to their side, aren’t they?

      • jesterpunk

        They have Chachi and Chuck Norris too.

    • data_ninja

      So the asshole takes his hat off for an TV appearance, but not to visit the Whitehouse? Priorities noted.

    • marxalot

      Who?

    • Me The People

      That was awesome. He just ate those rednecks.

    • jesterpunk

      Isnt Ted Nugent dead? He promised in 2012 that if Obama was reelected he would be dead or in jail.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Maybe he really does have cat-scratch fever. After all, toxoplasmosis is a feline-born parasite that, when it infects humans, tends to eat away at the brain and lead to delusional psychosis.

        • jesterpunk

          That wouldnt bother Ted Nugent, he doesnt have a brain to begin with.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        I’d give my left nut to see someone sue on a promissory estoppel theory. Some pro se litigant, of course, so no one’s license would be at risk.

    • Shoto

      Jeezuz Xmas, Eric Bolling ($500 haircut on a $5 head) is dumber than a pile of dirt clods. Accordingly, watch Fox Fearotainment give him a high-profile show before the cleanup dust settles. Pfffft.

    • Joe Beese
  • Three Finger Salute

    I admit, initially I really wasn’t on board with the single-payer thing, probably because I didn’t really understand it too well and had heard a lot of conspiracy theories from family members (who all listen to Rush/Savage/Billo/etc.). But now that I’ve been helping my mother try and find specialists for a number of conditions that she has, and trying to figure out what the hell the difference is between a POS (piece of shit?) policy, and a PPO (Planned Parenthood Organization?) policy, and an HMO (…sexual?) policy, and all these other alphabet soup configurations, not to mention being frustrated that this specialist who got high marks doesn’t take our insurance but this one who got mediocre marks (and has lousy bedside manner) does…

    I’m really convinced that just doing away with the stupid private insurance system makes a lot more sense and would make it a lot less complicated. As for where the funding could come from, I’ll leave that to people with far more expertise in economics than I do (although, leaving the budget in the hands of “economists” — from places like Heritage — hasn’t proven to be so good after all), but suffice it to say, it sure would streamline things if we could come up with the money.

    Maybe we could do without another aircraft carrier and hold off on bombing this other Middle East country, or building another gold toilet in some congresscritter’s office, or strap Trump to a chair and not have to send Secret Service back and forth to his stupid golf course… Either way, we have to find a way to make this work. Every other civilized country treats healthcare as a public service. It’s not like car insurance where, if you don’t have a car, you don’t need it. You have a body, don’t you? Heck, if even Nixon wanted Medicare for All how can they say it’s not a policy of the Republican Party? Especially since this administration is Watergate 2.0 anyway.

    Canadacare for America already.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i’ve mentioned, based on my short law firm employment, universal healthcare would radically change tort law in the us – even reform it, you might say.

    • jesterpunk

      The ACA is even a heritage foundation plan written in response to “Hillarycare” in the 90’s and signed by Mitt in Massachusetts.

    • Shoto

      Medicare is essentially (the dreaded) Socialized Medicine. Even dumb teabaggers like it, though they don’t actually understand what it is. “Hey, you libtard sonsabitches better get yer goddamn gubmint hands off my Medicare!”

      • Three Finger Salute

        Interestingly enough, it seems one of the primary opponents of single-payer healthcare is in the boomer demographic (not all boomers, but a lot). They like their Medicare and want to keep their Medicare. They just don’t want young whippersnappers and teh poorz to have it too. Even despite the fact that it’s the young whippersnappers who pay taxes to support Medicare.

        They also came up during the height of Cold War panic, where Reaganomics basically redefined anything funded by taxes as a slippery slope to USSR 2.0. I can’t tell you how many threads I’ve seen regarding public healthcare, where people literally think they need to start preparing their weapons for a second Revolutionary War because — get this — Britain is going to use Canada as their conduit to take over the USA, and subsume America under the Commonwealth. That basically, when people say Obamacare should be replaced with “a Canada-style healthcare policy,” it literally means we’re going to become subjects of Canada’s government and be covered by their “communist” healthcare system.

        The “OMG Canada is a communist country next door to us!” thing has been around for years (Pat Buchanan used to say “Soviet Canuckistan”), but has been dialed up hundredfold since Trudeau got elected and of course the idiotic Castrogate meme. But I always scratch my head and think, “Um, I think Canada and the UK got over that whole 1776/1812 thing already, why haven’t you?” And do they know that Canada isn’t really all that much connected to the UK anymore? Or that they really don’t want to take on the burden of 330 million overweight gun crazies and add us to their social service system? No, of course they don’t see that; they’re Fox viewers, a channel with an average viewing age of 72, and they think there’s a Soros puppet under every bed (Spicers in every bush notwithstanding). “SAD!”

    • Persistent Demme

      Used to live in Canada, and knowing that everyone is covered gives you great peace of mind. Subtle, but it makes a difference.
      People also feel much more free to take career chances when they don’t depend on their employer for their healthcare.

      Also lived in England, and heard, “Why do you Americans always wait at my desk for paperwork or something? Go on, you’re done!”

      • Three Finger Salute

        I think I read somewhere that one of the reasons the Detroit automakers moved some factories to Canada was because single-payer healthcare actually lessened the burden on businesses of providing insurance out of their own pockets. Shifting the costs over to a more evenly distributed pool that covers everyone throughout the country allowed them to reduce overhead and thus the price of the vehicle. So contrary to what the “free marketeers” believe, single-payer is actually good for business and for the consumer economy.

        No doubt this will come up as a sticking point if/when Trump breaks out of the dementia ward of the White House to yell incoherently at Justin about NAFTA, and demand that Ford, GM and Chrysler move ALL their factories back to the U.S. because “patriotism” or some such. When they say, no, we’re going to go where it’s better for business, and Canada’s healthcare system is good for our business, Trump will huff and puff and try to blow Parliament down. Then he’ll fall over after getting tired of winning, and not hear Mary Barra and Justin tell him that he’s actually targeting his bluster at his own Russian-funded hotel.

  • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

    I didn’t hear the news about Ailes until quite late today. So sad. I could’ve had a much better morning if I’d heard about it earlier.

    • Granny Sprinkles

      OOooOo you’re mean. I like it.

  • Shoto
    • Three Finger Salute

      BREAKING: Comrade Trumpovich has just signed an executive order changing the national anthem to something more “patriotic”:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mlx5bWb3t8c

      In Putinski Amerika, wall build you!

      • QHarp, Mujer malévola

        According to Wikipedia, the Tetris song comes from a Russian folk song that talks about a girl and a peddler haggling over goods as a metaphor for courtship selling out America.

      • Doug Langley

        In my Motion Graphics class, one assignment is to animate a fake Tetris game. After grading the videos, that stupid tune is burned into my skull for days.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I have to admit that that is prettier.

  • Mr. Blobfish
    • mancityRed6

      I guess, if you really want me to.

    • La forza del resistino

      The volume of hair spray on his head would combust 10′ from the pyre.

  • data_ninja

    Stupid theory: No news bombshell tonight because it might get buried under Roger Ailes news? Or even worse, out of respect for the creep?

    • La forza del resistino

      Nothing deserves to be buried under Roger. News, people, pizzarats. Nothing.

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        Unless it’s Rush Limpballs.

        • Three Finger Salute

          I call him Rash. One of Canada’s greatest rock bands doesn’t deserve to have its name sullied by any association with that porcine propagandist.

          • data_ninja

            Today’s Tom Sawyer he is not.

          • Three Finger Salute

            His spirit of radio doesn’t include free will either. It does echo with the sounds of (snake-oil) salesmen, though.

          • data_ninja

            Now you’re talking Closer to the Heart.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Cast in his unlikely role, ill-equipped to act — with insufficient tact.

          • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

            Does Lush Ballrash work?

          • Three Finger Salute

            I always used to say Rash Limburger.

    • Chadwells

      It’d be easy to see how something could be buried under him.

    • Count Awesome

      “That popcorn you’re eating has been pissed in. Film at 11.”

    • tehbaddr

      It’s quiet because a high level media right wing dirtbag got his, that is all. “let them gloat on that for a while”.

    • eka

      oh gee, i wonder why.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Geez, Gollum’s aged since the last Lord of the Rings movie.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Hey now. That’s not fair. Gollum tried to do the right thing every once and a while.

    • Chadwells

      Also….that jackass is like 100 years old. He’d never make it the 10 years.

    • Persistent Demme

      Good!
      (Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it?)

    • Joe Beese
  • dvlaries

    Doesn’t all this crap suggest that Melania’s sudden change of heart about living with him is because he feels the noose getting closer? How long established is the school ‘suddenly’ found good enough for Barron that could have been researched and found long before Nov. 8? Does anyone think it was she who had a change of mind? So was it begging, bribing, or just ‘you get your ass down here?’ When it’s over, will there be more sad pictures of Melania or of Pat Nixon?

    • Hutch

      She’s had it. She’s eastern European. When they are done, they are done. Ask Hitler.

      • idiotboy

        Oh yeah,
        Do not fuck with Eastern Euro women. They get this look in their eyes and…change the locks, maybe your zip code.
        Alenka, Gordana, Monika, I am not talking about you. REALLY!!!!

  • mancityRed6

    Ham and cheese on toasted bread.
    How could something so simple be so good and be so missed?
    Honestly, I spent the day counting down until I could go get some sammich makings.
    Ham and cheese, bread and bagels, cream cheese and bologna…yeah, you might not want to know about those last two.

    • jesterpunk

      Cream cheese and bologna isnt too bad, we sometimes make that with the other appetizers for a party.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Fried bologna on cheap white bread and doused with yellow mustard is a damn good sammich.

        • jesterpunk

          Not a sandwich as a snack like this. Never tried fried bologna though, sounds interesting.

          http://www.kunzler.com/recipe/cream-cheese-sweet-bologna-roll-ups/

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I would eat that! That’s some fancy looking bologna though.

        • Sophia

          I love fried bologna!

          • Hutch

            Is that like Taylor Pork Roll?

          • mancityRed6
          • Hutch

            Oh, good lord. I am not eating that. I’ve seen the pigs in the trucks.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            That’s just disturbing!

          • BearDeLaOursistance

            Meat Clown? Wasn’t that the code name for Roger Ailes among Fox News’ female staffers?

          • mancityRed6

            I thought it was Brian Kilmeade?

          • tehbaddr

            Classic! Great way to scare the children, and adults!

          • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

            That stuff looks like it might cry out when you slice it.
            It has a b-hole on the other end, right?

          • Sophia

            Not sure what that is but when I google it, it looks similar. In Michigan they have a Bologna Festival every year and you can get the best bologna sandwiches (they don’t fry it they cook it on the BBQ) Yum. Good with sauerkraut on it too.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPzbTf682hg

        • Kiri the Unicorn
        • notaten

          Fried bologna, grilled onions, on toasted rye bread, was one of the most delicious samiches I have ever had.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            That sounds awesome! I’m going to try it.

        • idiotboy

          My dad made that I loved it, that and fried spam sandwiches. Mac and cheese made with condensed milk. Good recipes from the Depression era. We are going to need them in the Wonkette Bunker.
          How is that coming along anyway?

    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

      Well, I”ve long loved ham wrapped around a green onion with cream cheese asn the glue and that’s kind of bologna adjacent?

      • Sophia

        That sounds good. I’m going to try that one.

        • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

          It’s so good, spread the cheese on ham and wrap it around the onion (cut the bottom of the onion off and all). It’s a potluck special from my midwestern grandparents from at least the 50s. Also good wrapped around a pickle.

    • Rasilom

      Smoked Salmon and peanut butter on a bagle. Sounds weird but tastes so good!

      • mancityRed6

        I do hot dogs and peanut butter. creamy only, but it makes a mess when it melts.

        • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

          My father added onions if available. I have never tried it, But maybe now I know that its not just my dad…

      • tehbaddr

        You monster! Cream cheese is readily available at all grocers!

        • Rasilom

          In self defence I discovered this combo during a summer I was kayak guiding. Lunch every day was smoked salmon, bagles, cream cheese and the like. After 10 weeks of cream cheese and smoked salmon I had to try something different.

    • The Wanderer

      A friend of mine eats ham and cheese on matzoh for Passover. Did I mention he’s Jewish?

      • mancityRed6

        matzoh is pretty good. I might try that.

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        Pork is Kosher if the pig is killed by lobsters, right?

        • The Wanderer

          LOL
          No.
          I suggested he try a shrimp au gratin with bacon. Go for a dietary violation trifecta, as it were.

        • idiotboy

          That made me laugh, thank you.

        • tehbaddr

          Only if a small pit fight to the death is involved!

        • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

          No, no. You sprinkle it with water and call it lamb.

    • Picabo

      BLT all crisp and toast overdone or GTFO.

    • jowgajen

      I bought a new microwave that has a broiler function and it included a setting for “Toast Hawaii” in the instructions. Having lived in Hawaii and eaten toast there, I was rather confused. Turns out it’s a popular German snack:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WC6DGiu1tNw

      • mancityRed6

        that’s one of the things I wish we would get here in the states: microwaves that also do the broil thing. hell, in some of the smaller apartments you don’t even get an oven, you get a big microwave that does both. and don’t get me started on fan assisted dual fuel ovens.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Fun fact: Hawaiian pizza isn’t actually Hawaiian either. It was invented by a Greek immigrant to Canada who threw some random leftover ham and pineapple on a pizza for people to try, because he wanted to add some variety to his menu of topping choices in addition to the standard peppers/pepperoni/sausage options.

        http://www.foodnetwork.ca/shows/great-canadian-cookbook/blog/the-history-of-hawaiian-pizza/

    • tehbaddr

      I’ve had Ham and cheese sammiches for the past 7 days for lunch. Finally thawed a food pantry ham and put it to use. Funny thing is after cooking it and slicing it up I still have about 4 lbs in the freezer. For…. yes, you know it… more ham and swiss sammiches, with Dijon of course. I’m not a complete heathen!

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Salami, feta, and tomato on rye. Do it.

  • Sophia

    ‘Seems like they hate us more than they love their country’

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbMzHnMqotw

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      DING!! DING!! DING!!

  • Turgid Love Skwerl

    Been out. What broke tonight? Don’t make me look at msm sites

    • snark-lurker

      quiet so far

      • Rick Hill

        I can’t help but picture trump, duct taped to a bed while Ivanka and Jared pace the floor trying to think of an exit strategy

        • snark-lurker

          oooh i like that!

        • Bozilingus

          More olds die from bathroom falls, just observing…

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      I just heard on the news that Ailes died from bleeding on the brain caused by a fall. Still waiting to hear if he lingered all alone for a while.

      • Rick Hill

        Alone? Not at first….

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Dinosaurs wouldn’t have been extinct if the asteroid had hit one minute sooner or one minute earlier?

    • Doug Langley

      Had a job interview. Seemed to go well until she mentioned the pay listed was for full time and they’re hiring part time. Applied for a position with another place that paid but went through 3 or 4 hours of grueling online tests that seemed determined to break my will. The media? Who has time for that?

      • tehbaddr

        Suck it up! Get a Job! You wouldn’t believe what I’ve had to do to keep a roof over my head compared to my previous employment!

  • Me The People
    • Three Finger Salute

      A ringing endorsement.

    • TJ Barke

      Because he was also a gross pervert.

    • Bozilingus

      Because he had the ladies’ fronts.

      • Three Finger Salute

        (rim shot)

    • Persistent Demme

      He’s lucky that was all Roger “had.”

    • DainBramage

      So Bill is confirming that Ailes liked coming from behind.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Sexual predators often stick up for one another.

    • Joe Beese

      Loofa at the ready.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      So Ailes was the Top. Glad Billo clarified that.

  • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

    There once was an Ailes named Rodger,
    A slimy and wicked old dodger.
    He liked playing games with horrified dames
    That nasty and little mourned codger.

    (Yes I posted it elsewhere, but hey OT. And I’m a teensy bit pleased with it)

    • Mehmeisterjr

      As well you should be.

    • Chris

      Truly Excellent!!!

  • BMW

    “Let’s rip the wheels off these car and then send them back to the factory because they drive bad.”
    -If Republican politicians were car dealers

  • wazmo

    The Major had revealed Julian Assange’s true identity: https://twitter.com/TheMajorsViews/status/865344537002209281

    Wonketeriat: Yo know what to do-let that pretty fly via Twitter!

    • The Wanderer

      He’s no true Ferengi! He doesn’t have the lobes to be successful.

      • wazmo

        Nevertheless-retweet that like your life depends on it-because in reality it does. Seriously. The Major told me that he has s special message coming up…

  • PigDootsMolloy

    Bannon in a man-romper-a disturbing summer vision-

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Say THAT 45 times fast!!

  • jesterpunk

    Poor Trump is going to miss his golf trips.

    https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/865345267075362817

    • Count Awesome

      Being president isn’t all fun and games.

      • jesterpunk

        Who knew Presidenting was so complicated?

        • Count Awesome

          Isn’t it supposed to be just golfing and telling the generals who to bomb?

          • jesterpunk

            You forgot the rallies to stroke your ego.

        • TJ Barke

          Nobody, nobody knew!

        • Rick Hill

          I hear Obama used to just phone it in

        • Joe Beese

          He literally said he thought it would be easier than his old job.

          Dumb-ass.

          • jesterpunk

            Didnt he say he could do both jobs at the same time with no problems?

        • Chris

          AOT,K

      • tehbaddr

        Stupid fuckhead thought it would be like doing the “Political Apprentice”!

    • Chadwells

      I hope he has to climb stairs a lot.

    • The Wanderer

      Probably afraid he won’t be allowed back in.

      • data_ninja

        That was my guess also. Something like FBI raids at all of his properties.

      • mancityRed6

        maybe the plane will divert to Russia and he’ll stay there?

    • DainBramage

      Yeah, he might get cranky and unmanageable.

      • MizzMazz

        Just put his pacifier in and give him a blanky.

        • Joe Beese

          Kelly will remember to pack his favorite toys.

      • jesterpunk

        What is his excuse the rest of the time?

    • Chadwells
    • Me The People

      Probably paranoid about what could happen back home while he’s away :D

      • jesterpunk

        We tell him we moved the country and will send him the forwarding address eventually once we get unpacked?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      For the first time in his life, he’s going to be around a lot of brown people who AREN’T mowing his lawn and washing his dishes.

      • msanthropesmr

        And who could buy and sell his ass

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          And maybe already have.

      • jesterpunk

        He is going to give a speech on Islam in Saudi Arabia on this trip then Toby Keith will perform right after that… cant make this shit up. Also

        http://www.cmchatlive.com/scenic/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Dixie-Chicks-FUTK-shirt-Toby-Keith.jpg

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Melon’s “glamour” photos will be a big hit in Saudi Arabia.

        • Red Bird Ω

          Seriously, Toby Keith will sing in Saudi Arabia? Is that the best talent America can provide?

          • jesterpunk

            It was either him, Lee Greenwood or Ted Nugent.

          • Red Bird Ω

            Ugh. I guess I should take comfort in knowing that the actual talented Americans aren’t lining up to perform for him.

          • jesterpunk

            Even the cover bands dont want to perform for him.

          • Greyhame

            When ‘Murica sends it’s musicians over the border on a big-boy jet to Saudi Arabia, they’re not sending their best. Oh wait … well, actually I guess they are.

        • Kooolest G

          just gonna leave this here, these are actual lyrics to an actual toby keith song from the album that’s actually titled shock ‘n y’all

          I’m just a middle-aged middle-eastern camel herdin’ man

          I’ve got a little two bedroom cave here in north Afghanistan

          Things used to be real nice and they got outta hand

          Since they moved in

          They call themselves the Taliban

          Ooo, ooo the Taliban, baby

          I ain’t seen my wife’s face since they came here

          They make her wear a scarf over her head that covers her from ear to ear

          She loves the desert and the hot, white sand but now

          Man she just like me

          She can’t stand the Taliban

          Ooo, ooo the Taliban, baby

          But you know someday soon we’re both gonna saddle up and it’ll be

          Ride camel, ride

          My ol’ lady she’ll be here with me

          Just smilin’ ride by my side

          We should do just fine out around Palestine

          Or maybe Turkministan

          We’ll bid a fair adieu and flip the finger to the Taliban

          Now they attacked New York City ’cause they thought they could win

          Said they would stand and fight until the very bloody end

          Mr. Bush got on the phone with Iraq and Iran he said now

          You sons a’ bitches, you better not be doin’ any business with the Taliban

          Ooo, ooo the Taliban, baby

          Now we prayed to Allah with all of our might

          Until those big U.S. jets came flyin’ in one night

          They dropped little bombs all over the holy land

          Man you should’ve seen ’em run, like rabbits they ran, the Taliban

          Ooo, ooo the Taliban, baby

          But you know someday soon we’re both gonna saddle up and it’ll be

          Ride camel, ride

          My ol’ lady she’ll be here with me

          Just smilin’ ride by my side

          We should do just fine out around Palestine

          Or maybe Turkministan

          We’ll bid a fair adieu and flip a couple fingers to the Taliban

          We’ll bid a fair adieu and give a big boner to the Taliban

          • jesterpunk

            He is going to perform that song isnt he?

          • Kooolest G

            he doesn’t have too many options to choose from, all of his other songs are about drinking alchohol, which will not be very popular in the dry kingdom of Saud

          • jesterpunk
          • Greyhame

            Oh god, I didn’t believe something so hilariously stupid and awful could be real, so I looked it up.

            (brb, gotta go clear browser history)

    • ariel_gee_398

      Does it violate the rules to hope that he eats or drinks something he shouldn’t and has terrible and uncontrollable diarrhea for the bulk of his travels?

      • jesterpunk

        I dont think so.

      • Thaumaturgist

        If Donald caught uncontrollable diarrhea and died, you could bury him in a matchbox.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Yes, but only with regard to the other occupants of the plane.

    • BadKitty904

      Do we have to let him back in?

      • jesterpunk

        I dont think so.

        • BadKitty904

          TO ARMS! MAN THE BORDERS!!1!

          • jesterpunk
          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            Quick, build the wall!

          • jesterpunk

            Mexico might actually help pay for that wall if it means keeping Trump out.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I’ll gladly help pay for that wall.

          • BadKitty904

            THAT would make much more sense.

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          “Sorry Mr. President, but, what’s the password?”

          “Ooh, bad news! Nope. You’ll have to try again tomorrow. KTHXBYEE”

    • data_ninja

      People in other countries will be protesting against him, and even worse, saying MEAN THINGS about him in ANOTHER LANGUAGE that he doesn’t understand! Sad!!

    • ariel_gee_398

      You know he doesn’t have the reflexes to dodge a shoe. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFX-dKpcDz8

      • Joe Beese

        I like W’s dodgeball smirk there. “Missed me!”

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Much as I despise the man for all the evil he subjected the world to, this will always be one of my favorite videos.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω
      • alpacapunchbowl

        Can we send this kitty instead? The hair color’s “sort” of similar. The only thing that might give it away is that the cat’s smarter.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I laughed out loud at this: “Jared Kushner, Mr. Trump’s son-in-law and senior adviser, led briefings, including one on European leaders, last week in the Oval Office.”

      What the hell does Jared Kushner know about European leaders? FFS.

      • jesterpunk

        He went to Jared and is married to Ivanka.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Nobody else wants him to come visit either. I think the U.K. had a petition going during the election cycle that something like 2 million people signed, asking for a travel ban against Trump. He’s done nothing but insult our allies anyway. He refused to shake Merkel’s hand, called Canada a “disgrace” and started that inane flame war over lumberjacks and dairy maids, made a reluctant exception in his Muslim travel ban for Mayor Khan, and then had the gall to ask for a fucking golden carriage to ride around London in. If Churchill was alive, he’d knock this bloody ignorant Yank on the head with his cane.

      Harry and William loathe him, because he borderline stalked Diana trying to get a date, and wouldn’t let up every time she refused. I doubt the queen is “amused” by him either, and believe me, I’m sure Catherine and Pippa don’t want him anywhere near the latter’s upcoming wedding, let alone what he might say about Megan Markle. “Oh, look! There’s Harry’s African-American!”

      For Britain’s sake (and ours, although I think the U.S. is a lost cause at this point), I hope Prince Philip and Queen Elizabeth can hang on for dear life until at least 2021. The last thing anyone wants is this buffoon making a state visit to the royal funeral. We don’t need or want another war with England, although I’m sure there’s a nonzero quantity of red-hatted rednecks who’d love to “kick them royals’ ass” for gits and shiggles. God save the queen.

  • Me not sure

    I saw where Trump now wants to cut his upcoming nine day trip down to five, because he is so tired. Hillary Clinton used to be gone for weeks at a time, flying from place to place, when she was Secretary of State. Sometimes in one of these bare-bones transports with an office module on board. STA-MI-NA, motherfucker! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a14aacdbe7a197a19a76e8a96cea5a31a8f5dc331075bd37a4465381834a83ed.jpg

    • Crank Tango

      Yeah but remember that one time she coughed?

      • La forza del resistino

        My crazy neighbor made the electoral argument that Hilz would be irrational during that time of the month.
        Me: she’s 68 y/o idjit.

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          You know very well you don’t grow out of werewolfism with age.

          • therblig

            yeah, but when the fur starts coming in grey and white, you start thinking about retirement.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          Periods don’t make you crazy. They make you unable to tolerate nonsense. (Seriously, they affect my anxiety, give me mood swings, etc, etc but I still function???) Person is sexist and ableist at once and I am impressed.

      • Red Bird Ω

        Also, remember she has a vagina.

    • La forza del resistino

      What? Is he planning on making up with Alec Baldwin and have him stand in for the last 4 days? Maybe an improvement regardless.

    • snark-lurker

      PANTSUIT?!! wesure dodged a bullette!

    • DainBramage

      Hillary is a badass!

    • Rick Hill

      I’m surprised he didn’t cancel altogether because of the current melt down of his administration

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I’m surprised he didn’t cancel because Israel must be *piiiiissed*.

        • redarmyzombie

          he probably thinks they’ll be grateful, the dumb fuck…

      • Treg Brown

        I’m surprised he didn’t cancel because he’s a lazy ass cunt with no work ethic or understanding of the office of the President in this country.

        Did I call him a cunt already?

        • Daisy

          I mean, it can afford to be repeated. The Scottish would back us up on this.

        • Vienna Woods

          Cunt libel. He’s neither warm nor deep. ™Lizzie

          • Treg Brown

            Oh I totally agree. It’s just, this lady in Scotland went to all the trouble of making that sign :- )

          • Daisy

            Shouldn’t let her hard work go to waste, after all. (I’ve been posting pictures of Min Yoongi like crazy today, so I kinda get it.)

    • Bozilingus

      Like a battery, he only has a finite amount of energy to use.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        “Don’t touch your ween Donald, you’ll short it out!”

        “Oh no looks like it’s too late! HAHAHAHA YOUR FATHER WILL NEVER LOVE YOU NOW”

        –Mary T.

        • Bozilingus

          “I don’t love you, either.” – Mary T.

    • Joe Beese

      Even when she was my acting arch-nemesis during the 2008 primaries, I gave her mad props for the work ethic she maintained on the campaign trail.

      “Grueling” didn’t cover it. I mean, she was a machine.

    • BadKitty904

      She is a pro. He is an amateur.

    • tehbaddr

      Yeah, well that’s because Trump is a senile old man on his last hurrah as president. We all are paying the price.

    • (weeping in corner)

  • Picabo
    • BadKitty904

      Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

      ~ George Santayana

      • Chris

        Trump would not care for anything Santayana had to say, he was an immigrant.

        • Three Finger Salute

          He’s probably never heard of him anyway. He wouldn’t know Santayana from Santa Claus.

        • BadKitty904

          So was Trump’s Mom, in fact.

          • Chris

            As well as two wives. This may explain his problems with immigrants…

          • BadKitty904

            Certainly seems remarkably “coincidental”.

  • Shoto
  • jaspersdad

    Trevor Noah last night:

    Fox News, The Guardians of the Fallacy.

  • BadKitty904

    Aight, supper’s ’bout ready. Just waitin’ on the Big Guy to get home.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUHIc9NKhcM

    • tehbaddr

      What did you prepare? C’mon can’t bait us like that!