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Here is your open thread until what the fuck ever breaks in 15 minutes. Why did I make more coffee when it is clearly time for HEROIN? Obviously, this week has made EVERYONE stupid, and it’s only Wednesday!

See you in another hour probably oh god no.

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  • Crystalclear12
    • chazmanr

      He was being sued. It isn’t a real apology. So it didn’t happen.

      • Crystalclear12

        True, courts are not his friend.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      ALEX JONES (HOST): During the week of April 10, 2017, certain statements were made on the InfoWars twitter feed and Youtube channel regarding Chobani LLC that I now understand to be wrong. The tweets and video have now been retracted and will not be reposted. On behalf of Infowars, I regret that we mischaracterized Chobani, its employees, and the people of Twin Falls, Idaho, the way we did.

      In other words:

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b13f6a00341c79751543e297792b72d67346291e2176a19df8cbef54795c5245.jpg

      • Shoto

        He backpedaled on the “Pizzagate” bullshit, too, also. In both cases, two words: LAW SUIT.

        This sleazebag, lunatic, chili-choking fuck needs to be sued into abject poverty. For a Better US America.

        • kaydenpat

          I wish someone could hit him with a lawsuit which would bankrupt him completely. Why is it okay for him to broadcast lies 24/7?

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          I saw somewhere that Chobani only asked for an apology. So he skates on the rest of it. I’d have asked for enough money to shut him down permanently, but I’m mean. And broke. But mostly mean.

          • Shoto

            He’ll fuck up again, and when he does, maybe the company (or individual) will sue him into oblivion.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          thank you. I didn’t want to have to type that match.

          It’s almost as if Alex Jones is entirely full of shit.

      • kaydenpat

        Such a mealymouthed “apology” shouldn’t be enough to avoid litigation. He should pay for any damage and anxiety he caused to Chobani, its owners and its employees.

  • snark-lurker

    coffee is made for Irish whiskey

    • katkelly57

      Uisce beatha.

  • Jamoche
  • chazmanr

    I always mix up the coffee urn and the hookah.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Yay! Open thread. Z Nation ended, now watching season 4 of sherlock.

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      Thanks for reminding me – I have to catch up with Sherlock!

  • Paperless Tiger

    Well said. And speaking of well said, what happened to Twitler? Are they making him sit on his thumbs?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      He was busy whining at the Coast Guard today. About how he is the most abused president ever.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    silly, heroin isn’t going ot keep you awake.

    What you need is some nice ritalin. They prescribed it to me once for depression (cause you’re tweaked ass won’t stay in bed all day).

    The first day I went to guitar center and looked at every. single. product. they had on sale.

    THen i stayed up for days at a time.

  • BosGrl

    It is never time for heroin. Ever.

    • Shoto

      But in these troubled (and troublesome) times, airplane glue is always acceptable, perhaps even mandatory.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Maybe a little Tylenol No 3. To keep splody head from sploding

      • BosGrl

        Definitely.

    • borninatrailer
    • Lascauxcaveman

      Actually, if you’re independently wealthy, can ensure a clean, high quality supply and don’t have any responsibilities that need to be taken care of in a timely manner, I hear it can be really pleasant. Also, you have to realize you just can’t walk away.

      • BosGrl

        You can’t “realize” – it’s a physical thing. You get hooked and then you can’t stop and then you die. End.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          gah, i feel bad for my joke just below.

          : (

          Hugs, Bos.

          • BosGrl

            Stop. You know I love you!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • BosGrl

      Dear God, I don’t think my nervous system can take much more.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        Apply bourbon to the nervous system.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        You have 24-48 hours to take a break and do some meditation.

      • kaydenpat

        Pace yourself. We have at least 2 more years of this.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      In other news, it’s Wednesday.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      Meh, Blockbuster went bankrupt.

      • Crank Tango

        Maybe they have that…

        … Hollywood Video.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          …Accessible.

    • Crystalclear12

      I’m really tired, can it be closer to the 48?
      Please?

    • Shoto

      When I see it blazing across the front page of the WaPo and/or the NYT, then I’ll get revved up. Until then, however, Imma adopt a “wait-and-see” posture. I can hope, though. (Please Lard Babby Jeezuz and Big Bad Buddha.)

    • jesterpunk

      So another story for John McCain to be concerned about the rest of the republicans in congress to ignore? What will fox cover this time, maybe Vince Foster or Bill’s impeachment hearings? Maybe they will bring back the Benghazi hearings if its really bad.

    • kaydenpat

      Let it be so. He needs to be damaged beyond repair. He has no business being in the White House.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      So many Pulitzer opportunities … so little time.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      The problem is: There’s no “Blockbuster” that is blocky enough or buster-y enough to get him out of office. The Reps simply won’t act and that’s that.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      Isn’t Dumpy about to take a trip? Maybe while he’s away, someone will show up at his office with a manila folder…

    • Another one eh? Hrmm… Okay… Are we past the point where we can hang Trump around the necks of Republican congressassholes like a millstone during the midterms? I fear that if he’s out too early, they might have time to recover.

  • Shoto
  • Scurrilous

    I think democraticunderground is being messed with. My 13 year old account was terminated a few minutes ago and then DU went down. Putin’s trolls are getting frisky again. :o

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Shout out to my LGBTQ&etc friends, both here and IRL:

    https://twitter.com/GeorgeTakei/status/864932568742973441

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      I found out today we’re losing our Pride MOnth poster at work. The past two years they have put one up. This year they’re proposing one that just says something about diversity and nothing about Pride or LGBTQ. It had been one of our biggest achievements at a conservative company.

      I think the deplorables are complaining louder about all the diversity initiatives.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Kinda ironical, actually.

      • BosGrl

        Can’t have two posters?

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          I think the point is that it’s the Pride poster but they took off the Pride. It’s actually digital, it goes up on the screens in the hallways.

          • BosGrl

            Ah.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        “They’re taking down the Pride poster? That’s gay.” — Statement from the Libertarian Colleagues’ Alliance

    • Shoto

      K, so…He’s fucking crazy. Then again, we already knew that.

    • kaydenpat

      I’m shocked that Trump had time to pledge anything given that he used much of his Coast Guard speech to whine.

      http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/17/politics/trump-coast-guard-speech/

    • Khavrinen

      Trump probably thinks icebreakers are involved in the making of martinis.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I need a moral/ethics judgment. Are there any vehicles/drivers that it is wrong to gesture at with one’s Driving Finger under any circumstance? The context: this morning the Red Cross Bloodmobile cut a guy off and he flipped him/her/them/it off. While I thought his reaction (hanging half his torso out the window and repeatedly honking his horn) was excessive, I didn’t think it was absolutely wrong. Deputy prosecutor who witnessed the same scene says the guy is absolutely morally bankrupt.

    • Crank Tango

      Have you ever tried filing for moral bankruptcy tho? That shit ain’t easy.

      • jesterpunk

        Dont you just have to register as a republican?

        • Beanz&Berryz

          You gotta actually vote as one, but one vote will do it.

        • Crank Tango

          Like I said…

          • jesterpunk

            They are ok with republican voters its those democrat voters they dont want to vote.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        They will put you on a repayment plan.

    • BosGrl

      Don’t think it matters that it’s the bloodmobile but I wouldn’t give the finger to a police cruiser or anything with lights on top. I wouldn’t give the finger to anybody these days. Little old ladies are carrying and ready to shoot.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Seems counterproductive for the Red Cross.

      • Erala Contratista

        Don’t flip off or make a spectacle of yourself if your phone # and company name are painted on your vehicle.

        • BosGrl

          That is a good rule.

    • Shoto

      Given that way too many people are packing these days, it’s always a good idea to show restraint in these matters. I’m right with you, though. When I’m in excessive traffic, all I can think of is how cool it would be if I was driving an actual real military tank. Just roll right over the fuckers.

      Is that wrong?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        If it is, I don’t wanna be right.

    • Lori

      I don’t think the bloodmobile is sacred or anything. Arguably, the bigger problem is with the bloodmobile driver, not the person who flipped him off. Driving the bloodmobile in a bad and/or rude fashion could create a negative impression of the Red Cross and I think that’s worse than flipping off the tech driving the truck. So for me it comes down to whether the bird was justified. If the flipper was over reacting that’s pretty terrible, but if the bloodmobile driver actually did something flip worthy then that’s worse.

      That said, I agree with Shoto–people on the road tick me off all the time (I am not a patient person), but I try to keep it to myself because you just don’t know and no traffic rudeness is worth dying over.

    • Don’t know about the USA but over here a Police Officer seeing that would pull the car over and caution or ticket him for driving without due care and attention

    • laineypc

      Was JFK’s infidelity less wrong because he was a good president?

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Actual question that my local paper answered:
    “Is it okay for me to use a taser on a homeless person sleeping on my porch?”
    (Answer: Probably not.)

    • Beanz&Berryz

      You gotta wake him first.

      • Scurrilous

        Yep. A bucket of cold water then the tasing. Much more effective.

    • BosGrl

      What the ever loving fuck is WRONG with people? This is why we can’t have a country anymore.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        At least the comments about the story are “WTF is wrong with you?” (Though there are a couple accusing the paper of making up the question to generate controversy)

    • jesterpunk

      Right wing gun nuts and the NRA would argue they could shoot them though.

      • willi0000000

        i mean . . . what do you need a taser for? . . you’ve got a gun!

  • BosGrl

    Oh, guy from TX with missing tooth is yapping on MSNBC again – WHY can’t we focus on killing people via the AHCA and making them homeless with the new tax plan? WHY do we have to talk about Russia Russia Russia like a common Jan Brady?

    • kaydenpat

      Imagine if the tables were turned and this was a Democratic administration with all these scandals. What do you think Conservatives/Republicans would be saying right about now? The hypocrisy is ripe.

      • unclejeems

        True, dat. It’s also rife.

        • Marion in Savannah

          And rank. And rotten. And revolting.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        cnn had a headline quoting ryan as saying, “i’m not going ot prejudge something” (paraphrased).

        I wanted to say, “OH REEEEEEELY?”

        • kaydenpat

          Ryan needs to be brought down too. His tongue is way up Trump’s behind.

    • proudgrampa

      I know. Did you hear him yapping about puppies and kittens? Jesus Christ.

      • BosGrl

        Yes!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Referring back to the previous post for a moment:

    https://twitter.com/ezlusztig/status/864949529291968512

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Also an empty suit. He’s a glorified jail administrator.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        With more chest candy than a career military war hero.

      • pussygrabber in chief

        And his jail is considered one of the worst run jails in the country. Winning!

    • Shoto

      “He is a deeply deranged individual. A violent fascist.”

      Copy that.

    • kaydenpat

      Him being deeply deranged is probably what attracted Trump to him.

    • “That Ni[CLANG] is one of us!”

    • tomamitai

      With ties to Russia too, what a surprise!

      How David Clarke Bridges Donald Trump’s Gun Nuts and Vladimir Putin’s Kleptocrats

      Could our next secretary of homeland security really be a gun-loving,
      Russia-visiting jails boss who’s left a trail of dead inmates behind him?

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Even lower than a clown. Clarke is clown shoes.

  • proudgrampa

    Rebecca — Take a DEEEEEEEEEP breath, and let it out SLOOOOOOOOOOOWLY.

    Do this several times, and you will feel better.

    Love,

    proudgrampa

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      I find this works best if done over a bong several times, but maybe that’s just me.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Remember when you could gloss over the news articles about what the President did today because they were mostly innocuous? Good times … good times …

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Thank god we didn’t elect that scandal-magnet Killary!

      • h4rr4r

        She probably​ would​ have sent some emails today! Trump of course does not know all that high tech stuff about the cyber.

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          And look how calm things are.

          • snark-lurker

            things are calm where you are? well wear are you anyway?

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            I’m currently in space as the Virgo constellation. It’s nice out here.

          • snark-lurker

            wow. cool. far out!

        • But his goddamn steam powered typewriter is bigly tremendous!

  • m3bosha

    Rebecca, step 1 — coffee — good plan. You missed step 2 — booze in the coffee and step 3 — booze straight out of the bottle. Don’t hit up the H until step 4.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Make no mistake, Darling Nikki is a winger even if she speaks in complete sentences. And more evidence of an administration in chaos.

    “Obviously, I believe that the capital should be in Jerusalem and the embassy should be moved to Jerusalem,” Nikki Haley said in an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network on Tuesday. “All their government is in Jerusalem. So much of what goes on is in Jerusalem and, I think, we have to see that for what it is.”…

    “I don’t know what the policy of the administration is, but I believe the Western Wall is part of Israel,” Haley said on The Brody File. “I think that’s how we’ve always seen it and that’s how we should pursue….we’ve always thought that the Western Wall was part of Israel.”

    She doesn’t know what the policy is and yet represents our nation. And so who is this plural noun she uses? WE have always thought? Meanwhile, Jared is engineering peace, right?

    http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/nikki-haley-says-what-white-house-won-t-western-wall-n761071

    • unclejeems

      Right. And of course Trump is the CEO of the US of A, and can hire and fire anybody at any time. Sheesh. And this chick was a state governor?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Well, Jared’s doing that as best he can now that his FIL has leaked pissed Israeli intelligence all over the Russians.

    • Shoto

      Xtian fundie crackpot wingnut moran.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      IMO she took the loyalty oath to Dolt 45. You can kinda tell which ones did.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I thought she was supposed to clear her statements with State. What the hell happened to that?

      • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

        Rex said, “Is it about oil? No? then who gives a shit?”

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
    • Marion in Savannah

      That’s a whole lotta truth packed into a small number of words.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      Ford Fairmont, otherwise all good.

      • marxalot

        Ford Tempo, 1991

        • Opalescent Riddles

          THAT’s the one. I was trying to think of a car that would induce driver fatigue just by looking at it, and a beige Fairmont immediately came to mind, but only because I forgot about the Tempo.

          Also acceptable in this scenario: Chevy Celebrity.

          • willi0000000

            hah!

            beige Nash Metropolitan!

          • Opalescent Riddles

            That would be a valuable classic. The Fairmont, Tempo, or Celebrity? Not so much. Please to direct the projectile vomit to a worthy target.

      • proudgrampa

        Mercury Cougar…

    • Ralph Gauer

      Whippits.

    • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

      Except I thought the wine was pretty good at the time. Also too the snacks.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      “A Muddled Oreo” would be a great ironic hipster lounge music album name.

  • ken_kukec
    • proudgrampa

      This is hilarious…

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Yes, the cookies are good. They aren’t “grand theft” good
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/864958334688006144

    • mancityRed6

      you buy them at market prices, then you store them (some say freezer) so that you can sell them at a profit during the rest of the year.
      she probably would’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for those meddling kids.

      • BosGrl

        Yes – I told that story! Someone in our troop actually did it.

        Ed – I mean *I’ve* told that story – sorry.

    • Joe Beese

      5′ 3″ of girl gone bad…

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Thin Mint addiction is an ugly thing.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Mr. MinS used to have that addiction. All I can say is thank the FSM that his supplier finally went off to college.

      • Bobathonic

        I wish they came in larger than single serving size, though.

    • The S’mores cookies are worth going to jail for.

    • willi0000000
  • marxalot

    I very badly misjudged the amount of coffee to put into my Shame Latte (chocolate protien powder, powdered milk, and instant coffee) (I had been using “instant espresso”- how weird is that- but switched to standard) at about 9 o’clock this morning and I’m still useless. My brain jumped right over “productive” to “speeded out” and I’m vibrating gently.
    Wooo.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Just remember, if you enter the Speed Force try not to travel through time.

    • Crank Tango

      Yeah, regular has a lot more caffeine than espresso. I lived behind a shop that did a “white” coffee, barely roasted, shit was like rocket fuel.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      at a restaurant i once worked out, we made our own chocolate lattes.

      Put hot chocolate mix (NOT starbucks brand, that shit is awful) into a mug. Brew a cup of coffee, take the pot and pour it through the basket again into the cup.

      Voila – entirely legal speed.

      • cheetojeebus

        You can ‘crank’ it up to 11 by adding some smoked chicory.

    • cheetojeebus

      Oh you crazy minx.

    • LadyLaz

      Meeee toooo! But mine was with an extra helping of vyvanse

      • marxalot

        The last time I was this distracted and also faintly nauseated (also: typing is not super easy right now holy shit fingers get with the program), I was also seeing some amazing shit because I was an hour into an 8-hour space candy trip.

  • Shoto
  • mancityRed6

    it’s cloudy and windy here in Kansas (25 or so, gusts up to 38). I’m on my patio (where the management has asked me to wear pants), and I keep going from blinded to shade every couple of minutes.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Goddamn neighborhood associations, trampling all over our freedoms…

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      It’s 84 here and I babysat my 8-month-old grandson all day so his parents could work outside. They both looked like partly-melted white-chocolate easter bunnies when they came in.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    The YT video in the post has been taken down by NBC :(

    • LadyLaz

      ? Young Turks?

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        YouTube

    • Shoto

      Chickenshit morons.

  • The Wanderer

    Hmm, nice day off. Housework, doctor’s appointment, masturbation, writing (much the same thing, if you really think about it), enjoying the snark here on Wonkette.

    Yep, ready for a nice dinner and drinks. I fancy tequila tonight . . .

    • snark-lurker

      did you use a masterbation machine or do it free-hand?

      • The Wanderer

        I use a machine for the writing. The onanism requires hands-on treatment.

  • Chadwells

    Christ…Jason Miller, David Bossie and Corey Lewandowski. Saved you a click.

    “Trump turns to former campaign aides as scandals pile up”

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/05/17/trump-scandals-miller-bossie-lewandowski-238520

    • Marion in Savannah

      Okay, NOW is it time to hit the heroin?

    • jesterpunk

      So Clownstick is mad about the scandals he is causing and the interviews or tweets he does that contradicts what his staff tells the press?

      • Chadwells

        Trying to make sense out of something that has no sense!!

    • Shoto

      “I’m picking only the best people…”

      — Psycho Orange Donnie

  • Shoto
  • Joe Beese
    • Shoto

      Why kinda pathological, psycho fuck goes out of his way to bitch about the utterly insignificant cost of a ramp to help babby duckies get into a pond? For fuck’s sake.

      • willi0000000

        a republican?

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Okay, I may get banhammered for this, but I have to say it: Trix, NOT COOL with the heroin “joke.” There are people here who have lost loved ones to it and there are people here who have seen its effects closeup and personal. I know it was supposed to be ironic/cool/funny but it wasn’t. Please reword. Thanks.

    • snark-lurker

      not against the rules okay to say that i agree

    • BosGrl

      Thank you GGY. I wanted to say that but I feel like sometimes everyone is sick of me. THANK YOU.

      • Rick Hill

        I’m not sick of you….yet.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I would NEVER be sick of you, honey. I spent a long time at a rehab center (I was there for depression) and every. single. one. of the girls in my unit who were there for heroin were still dreaming of it, aching for it, and struggling mightily to even imagine a world in which they could leave it behind them. It made me ache with them to think of being 18, 19, 20 years old and so horribly addicted to that evil drug.

        • BosGrl

          It really is awful. I’m sorry about your depression. I’m always here for you.

          • Rick Hill

            I can’t get this to reply to your other comment, so I’ll put it here:

            I just woke up from my “if I take a nap will all this crap go away, nap” so I had to have my ease back into the world snark. So, gotta ask, why get sick of you, Bos? Of all my make believe friends, you’re one of the coolest.

          • BosGrl

            Right back at you Rick! <3

          • Rick Hill

            *I’ll pretend I’m one hip frood who’s cool enough to have you look in my general direction*

            Thanks!

        • Marion in Savannah

          I battled suicidal depression for years. That shit sucks. Hope you’re doing as well as I am now.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Why would you think everyone is sick of you?

        • BosGrl

          I don’t know… just happy to be here and don’t want to annoy anyone or piss you all off :)

          • MynameisBlarney

            You ain’t even close to doing that.
            In my opinion, you’re one of the good ones.

          • BosGrl

            Awww.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        You’re on our team!

    • LadyLaz

      They don’t banhammer like that. You aren’t cursing or the rest.

    • h4rr4r

      Yeah, replace with something harmless but super illegal, like weed, mushrooms, LSD, DMT or any other tryptamines you personally like.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Me? I’m clean, but thanks for reminding me I’ve been thinking of blocking you for awhile.

        • h4rr4r

          Huh?

          I was agreeing. If you want to make a drug joke use a harmless one.

          Heroin is not funny.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Sorry – I am (obviously) touchy on this subject. Too much destruction.

          • h4rr4r

            Everyone should be!

            I have two in laws in jail due to that shit. One of them would be dead if not for jail.

            My son, his nephew, has spent​ more time playing with his daughter than he has. He ODed three times before he went to jail. His next time I am sure would have been his last.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          I actually agree since LSD and some (was going to specify types but lazy) other super illegal drugs are not only harmless but beneficial for mental disorders.

      • LSD is not harmless. I don’t know how old you are, but I think you’re considerably younger than I am. I was in high school in the early-mid 70s. A very large majority of the kids in my class and the class ahead of us were tripping on a daily basis. The Valedictorian of my class went to school every tripping his ass off. While nobody died from excessive use (as far as I know), and most of those kids went through a heavy drug-use stage early and came out OK on the other side, I know plenty of people who are still complete burn-outs from it. It doesn’t kill you, and I don’t think it’s all bad in and of itself (apparently researchers have discovered it has some pretty great medical properties), but that shit ruined a lot of lives too.

        I think it’s not used as much as it used to be (I only know a few people who still do it, and they’re all my age), so maybe people in the generations behind me just haven’t seen what it can do.

        I don’t want @Good_Gawd_Yall:disqus to think I’m attacking her (him?), but I’m having a bit of an issue with this discussion. I agree that heroin is a nasty drug. It’s highly addictive and it can kill you. But so can meth, and we make plenty of meth jokes here. So can cocaine. Talk about a nasty drug. I can tell you from personal experience how nasty it can be. But I’ve seen plenty of jokes about cocaine here too. And we make jokes about drinking heavily every single day. Alcohol kills people, lots and lots of people. It certainly ruins people’s lives. I doubt there’s a person here who hasn’t been affected by alcoholism in some way.

        What I’m saying is I don’t think Rebecca was out of line with her joke.

        • h4rr4r

          LSD does not make you a burn out. Find one reputable study that even makes such a claim. LSD is a lot of things, but it is not that. As to deaths, it really has no mechanism for causing it at any amount short of dropping a ton of it on someone.

          LSD became hard to get after Pickard was busted in 2000. I might be younger than you, but….

          • I specifically said it doesn’t kill you. As for burning out people’s brains, yes. It can do that.

          • h4rr4r

            Again, I simply ask that you read the literature on the topic. Anecdotes are bullshit.

          • I’m not going to argue with you about this.

          • h4rr4r

            Which is a good idea, when the facts are not with you.

            Do the research. The information is all out there in peer reviewed scientific literature. Talk to neurologists.

          • So I’m looking for some legitimate studies, and all I’ll seen so far is stuff from rehab centers, which aren’t the most objective sources. (At least no one is saying it’s physically addictive) I’ll keep looking till I find something I know is reliable.

          • h4rr4r

            Not to spoil it for you, but basically like weed.
            Bad news for the latent schizophrenics.

          • Heh. I hate spoilers!

            I went to NIH. Essentially they say no one knows what the long term effects are, which I find kind of odd, considering how long it’s been around. On the other hand, the brain is still considered a mystery in medicine, so it’s probably a case of researchers not being able to narrow things down enough to figure out if LSD was the culprit, or if it was something else. I had a bunch of cognitive tests done last year and, while they could tell me what I wasn’t suffering from, they couldn’t tell me definitively what it was.

            Anyway, while I’m not convinced LSD is 100% harmless, I’ll take your point. I’m also going to keep researching, because now I’m really curious. Thanks for the push.

          • h4rr4r

            I am not discounting that you saw burnouts, only that correlation is not causation. I bet it was something else. Something that was well correlated with LSD usage. I have known some totally sober burnouts. Never did drugs at all, so no idea there.

            Nothing is 100% harmless. LSD can and does trigger episodes in those predisposed to them.

            I really should have said less harmful than alcohol.

          • I definitely saw burnouts, but you’re right that correlation is not causation. It’s easy to lose sight of that.

            I probably came across like some anti-drug zealot, which I’m not. I don’t even smoke weed because it makes me anxious, but I think adults should be able to decide for themselves whether they should imbibe.

    • anwisok

      Why on earth would you worry about getting ban-hammered for that? It seems like a reasonable point, made reasonably.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I think your request to avoid it as a subject of humor is completely valid. However, I think any implication that Rebecca was displaying some kind of fundamental insensitivity is not. A lot of humor – arguably the best – takes its energy from uncomfortable, edgy subjects – death, assault, paranoia, filth, hopelessness, etc. ad infinitum.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        If she was going to go for the joke, I think she should have went with something archaic, personally.

      • BosGrl

        Rebecca is not insensitive – if this isn’t something you’ve dealt with (and I am very glad if she hasn’t) you don’t quite see it the same way. The thought of anyone using heroin terrifies me, even as a concept.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      No. I think most of us who are regulars have said insensitive things at one time or another. As someone who has taken opioids for several years now for chronic pain, I think I can understand their seduction.
      I’ve managed to cut way back on my consumption over the last couple of years ( with the help of a supportive MD) but I find it difficult to let go completely. And the do take the edge off the pain better than anything else, I don’t care what the experts say.
      Congratulations btw, sobriety is a huge achievement,

      • BosGrl

        It’s good you’re working with your doctor to ease up. There are definitely people who need opioids and use them responsibly. Most people don’t, though. (GGY isn’t addicted – see below)

    • NellCote71

      Thank you. I am living that nightmare with my son. It is not a joke.

  • Joe Beese

    Washington Post: The president shat himself.
    White House: The president would never shit himself.
    Trump: I SHAT MYSELF ON PURPOSE
    Ryan: The President has every right to shit himself and we stand by his decision.
    McCain: It is worrisome that the President shat himself, but I will not vote for a change of pants.
    Conway: Why aren’t we talking about the time that Hillary Clinton went into a restroom and urinated?

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Hillary peed in a men’s urinal!

      • Shoto

        Inpeach!!

      • marxalot

        Oh come on, who amongst us?..

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      RWNJ’s: Obama shat in the toilet, so Trump shitting himself is ok.

      • Shibusa

        Also, shitting oneself is integral to draining the swamp!

    • Opalescent Riddles

      I think the real story here is that the media don’t mention the Blue Dress Massacre. Where were the Democrats when that was going on?

  • Crystalclear12

    I feel like I’m waiting for a tornado to hit.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/16cc05635a47f32676d14571ea312d14837fc8450e97cfa20b8a56baa41e72f0.png Paul Ryan remains upbeat and confident, as one does when one is a sycophant.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      I want the FACTS, damn it, which will, whatever they are, will only increase my confidence in the President.

      • Shoto

        Until I’m able to destroy the ACA, get major tax cuts for my wealthy benefactors, and destroy Medicare and Social Security. After that, I might take a look at the President’s alleged foibles.

    • Shoto

      I loathe ZEGS Ryan with the heat of 10,000 suns. He’s a pure sociopath, and the emptiest suit in Washington. And the Big Kicker? He’s next in-line to the Presidency, right after Holy Jeezuz Pence. Contemplate that scenario for a quick second, and see if it doesn’t sober you right the fuck up.

      On a more positive note, ZEGS Ryan can list as one of his major accomplishments the fact that he holds the #1 spot on the list of Punchiest Faces in US America. So that’s something he can be sorta proud of, right?

      • Tishalicious

        Um, Cruz libelz? That face will always come in as Punchiest.

        • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend

          I’d put my vote knuckles on Mick Mulvaney as a strong contender for first place punchy face.

      • Claire

        Rumor has it that Ryan is staring down the barrel of a RICO charge. I wouldn’t bet on him occupying the Oval Office any time soon.

        • Shoto

          Hope that’s true. Seeing him frog-marched out of the Capitol in handcuffs would make me very happy, indeed.

      • laineypc

        Yes. This is the man who whined “governing is hard” and longed for the good old days when all they had to do was obstruct every goddamned thing that a Democrat might put forward.

    • m3bosha

      I think he’s upbeat and confident because he knows if Cheeto man quits or is impeached he has a much more “stable” back up plan to ram his repub dreams through. And his name is Pence. Frankly, with all the chaos Hair Cheeto creates, it really puts a damper on his wet dreams to screw America over.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    http://www.joemygod.com/2017/05/17/joe-biden-pens-wapo-op-ed-americans-must-stand-persecution-lgbt-people-worldwide/ Handsome Joe is back!!! Yay!!! Remeber when we had a VP who liked LGBTs people? That was great

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Who liked people, period?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        And chocolate chip ice cream! And fast cars! And pranks!

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        And who was liked in return.

  • DensityDestiny

    So I’ve been thinking…Let’s say I’m the head of Israeli intelligence and because I am not deaf, dumb or blind, I understand the huge security risk that is Donald Trump. I need to know what will happen when I share sensitive information with Trump before that need genuinely arises. Maybe I stage my own little test. Fake Israeli “intelligence” on ISIS? Worthless. The knowledge that DT could be counted on to spill it? Priceless.

    This is my hope. Everyone has to act outraged, they can’t admit it was phony intel, but in reality, all Putin got out of that was last week’s secrit psswd for ISIS.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Ever the optimist, eh? Good story, bro.

    • Yeah, that thought had occurred to me. Hope so.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Must include letters, numbers, and at least one special character such as comma, ampersand, or daesh.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Regarding the dearth of dick jokes from the earlier thread.

    FLORIDA: Man Claims Girlfriend Accidentally Choked To Death On His Large Penis, Demands That Jury Sees It
    http://www.joemygod.com/2017/05/16/florida-man-claims-girlfriend-accidentally-choked-death-large-penis-demands-jury-sees/

    Your ‘cup’ will runneth over.

    • Jamoche

      Top comment: “It’ll never stand up in court.”

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Like, gag me with a

        ah, never mind.

        • Rick Hill

          Spork?

      • Roadstergal

        “I am not a hardened criminal!”

    • Marion in Savannah

      Not. Gonna. Click. Nope, NOT. GONNA. CLICK.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        And what’s more, they can’t make us!!

        • Marion in Savannah

          FREEDOM!!!11!!!

    • Rick Hill

      They had trouble erecting a defense?

    • ariel_gee_398

      Wasn’t there another rapist asshole (I’m just assuming about this one because I refuse to read more) who claimed that it wasn’t that he assaulted a woman, it was just his giant cock? I swear to christ, [banhammerable rant about misogyny and the fragility of toxic masculinity].

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    The words Trump and principles are mutually exclusive.
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/864960609766473728

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      And here, folks, we have the photographic evidence of why Mitch McTraitor will never, ever, ever allow impeachment of the “president” his wife works for.

      • Three Finger Salute

        How is that even possible? Doesn’t that come under nepotism laws or something? I mean, you can’t even win prizes on game shows if your twenty-fifth cousin’s ex-wife’s adopted stepson works for the network, an affiliated company of the network, or any companies that sponsored prizes (or subsidiaries/affiliates of those sponsors). But Turdleneck’s wife can be in Trump’s cabinet????

  • BosGrl
    • BosGrl

      DOJ – Robert Mueller Special Prosecutor

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      NO. NO. STOP IT. SOMEONE GET A VOTE BLOWTORCH, BECAUSE I WILL NOT LET THIS STAND. *faints*

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender
    • jesterpunk

      I am sure they are deeply concerned about Hillary’s emails now.

    • Jamoche

      “There’s two people I think Putin pays: Rohrabacher and Trump,” McCarthy (R-Calif.) said, according to a recording of the June 15, 2016 exchange, which was listened to and verified by The Washington Post.

      Recording. They have a fucking recording.

      • ManchuCandidate

        FUCK ME!
        -Ghost of Dick Nixon

      • jesterpunk

        So they are all going down for this?

      • data_ninja

        Probably from the same source that had Paul Ryan recorded saying that shit about Trump.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Those motherfucking traitors!

    • Roadstergal

      Jokes! Very funny jokers, those guys. They tell the best jokes.

      Impeachment and conviction would be a fuck of a punchline.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Gotcha motherfuckers!

    • mancityRed6

      did this come out at the time, or did they sit on it until now?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        They’ve hidden this shot for nearly a year. They let Dolt 45 be the nominee, be Inaugurated. They all need to GO DOWN.

    • DainBramage

      (Paul) Ryan instructed his Republican lieutenants to keep the conversation private, saying: “No leaks…This is how we know we’re a real family here.”

      Crime family.

      • FlownΩver

        So many people named RICO!

        • Opalescent Riddles

          Suave!

  • Reximus

    Special Counsel for TrumpRussia announced

    • proudgrampa

      proudgrampa approves…

    • major_asshole

      Just saw that on CNN. Amazingly, Fox is still running with “b-b-but Flynn never talked to Trump, so nyah!” or some bullshit.

  • Roadstergal
    • proudgrampa

      Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue…

      • mancityRed6

        Do you like gladiator movies?
        aw, crap.

  • m3bosha

    Oh shit! Special council. An ex FBI director apparently also too.

    • proudgrampa

      WOOOOOO. HOOOOOOOOO!

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      *sobs*

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      What is a special counsel? What does this mean? OMG

      • snark-lurker

        i donut know either!

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Same as a special prosecutor.

        • jowgajen

          Not as independent as one appointed by Congress, but yeah.

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          Yasssssssssss!!

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Criminal charges. They look for stuff to prosecute. The evidence from the FBI, et al will be reviewed. Including the dump from Treasury.

      • jesterpunk

        LOCK TRUMP UP!! LOCK TRUMP UP!!!

        • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

          And melt the key. Then take the melted globule of metal and launch it into the sun. Then move Earth to another solar system. Also give everyone lifetime supply of prozac and/or weed.

          • jesterpunk

            Just as long as the Dalek’s dont move the earth.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Robert Mueller is the FBI Director immediately before Comey. This will be good. Gotta pop some popcorn.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    News from across the pond : https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/may/17/france-macron-his-government-left-right-centre

    There are 18 ministers and 4 secretaries of state in Macron’s first government : 4 socialists, 2 centre-left, 3 centre-right, 2 rightwing and 11 from the civil society.

    The 2 who are rightwing have been excluded from their own party.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Oh, look, a normal country that has a normal leader doing normal things. Compare with our insane asylum in complete chaos. Did the French loan us the guillotine after the war?

      • Lyly Sirivong

        No we kept it in a museum. And there’s one sitting in a bar in Paris, of all places. They’re both still functioning, I’m sure…

  • Joe Beese
  • Ω cynmac will never surrender
    • LadyLaz

      Good jchoice

  • OddMan

    I’m sure you have heard.
    Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein has appointed former FBI Director Robert Mueller to serve as special counsel overseeing the investigation into Russian influence in the 2016 presidential election.
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/doj-special-counsel-russia-trump_us_591cbfa2e4b03b485cae5465?ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009

    • LadyLaz

      Wowiwiwowowowo

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      why won’t the news stop? whyyyy?

    • tomamitai

      How long until Il Douche fires him?

      • jesterpunk

        He cant.

        • OddMan

          $5 will get you $10 that Our Dear Lord Dampnut™ will try to. He ignores all the rules.

        • SweetDeeKat

          Look up the Watergate Saturday Night Massacre. You’ll be several steps ahead of Pussgrab.

          • jesterpunk

            Yep, Rachel covered that when Trump fired Comey. Trump is ahead of schedule and over budget.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Only Jeff Sessions can fire him, so his job is safe umm, yeah.

    • Chris

      OK, this is interesting. Anyone else just exhausted by this shit?

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I think “IOnlyLikeCats” may be!!

      • Parakeetist

        Me too.

        • Chris

          I think we all are. I thought we were through today and then just towards the end of Maddow, new update that Transition team knew that Flynn was under FBI investigation because FLYNN told them. Pence was in charge and both Pence and McGahn knew. SMH!

  • Apple Scruff

    WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???!!!

    I mean, this is kind of LOLZ because the special council is ex-FBI, yes??

  • mancityRed6

    and you thought your day was over, huh?

    • Jamoche

      Beginning to think that the appearance of the Open Thread is just tempting fate.

      • Ralph Gauer

        Maybe he’s reading Wonkette? WHOA, IF TRUE.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Rod Rosenstein isn’t anybody’s patsy, evidently.

    • Claire

      Damn, I guess he really was mad.

    • jowgajen

      Nor Robert Mueller. Technocrats revolt!

    • BeachBum

      For a smart guy, it takes him a long ass time to learn anything.

  • Proud Liberal

    Robert Mueller has been appointed Special Counsel by Rod Rosenstein! Finally!!!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Rosenstein fired in 3, 2, 1…

  • Chadwells

    Awwwwwwww….poor little baby rich people. Could not care less. In fact, I love this.

    “World’s 500 Richest People Lose $35 Billion From Trump Turmoil”

    https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-05-17/world-s-500-richest-people-lose-35-billion-from-trump-turmoil

    • Jamoche

      Like they’d notice.

      • Yr. Gma

        Those types know where every penny is.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Trading Places, man. Trading Places.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        They only have, what, 50% of the world’s wealth?

    • Reximus

      they can just throw another servant on the fire

  • mancityRed6

    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/05/polls-republicans-are-disaster-believe-me
    so, does Public Policy Polling lean left, right, or center? can we believe their polling?
    “By an 8 point margin, 49/41, they say they wish Hillary Clinton was President instead of Trump.”

    • jesterpunk

      Check 538 they rank all the major polling sites.

    • HandsOfFate

      That gap should be a little wider. Heck, Hillary had a couple percentage point lead in November.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I don’t mean to be unkind but I must say I’m disappointed that MSNBC still has Greta on. I like newscasters who can move their faces while they talk.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Go ahead. Be unkind. I’m super pissed that they hired her at all.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      It’s not the surgery that bothers me, it’s her lack of human emotion on the inside.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        tbh, the surgery kind of bothers me. She was a smart, talented reporter who married a wingnut and went bad (going Cokie, I guess) and Fox gave her a new face, new boobs and a few tucks when they hired her. Because they really weren’t interested in the smart and talented.

        • marxalot

          It’s the Stepford Package. They uninstall all that unnecessary personality, anything that taxes the processor or the male patience, then put in the aesthetic upgrades.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          The fact that Fox wouldn’t take her without it bothers me but I’m very body positive, flesh, silicone, or Android.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      MSNBC in particular gives breaking news to their regular evening hosts. They have no real ability to cover news. So it’s usually a trainwreck. Such as Tweety talking about how this big story is just like some movie.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    David Frum has been arguing to largely deaf ears that a special prosecutor is the wrong way to go. Prosecutors are there to sniff out crimes, and are supposed to stay silent about lawful activity. There are a whole lot of shenanigans we need to know about that may not have been strictly illegal. An independent commission would be better.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      What if I want both?

    • jowgajen

      I don’t give a fudge so long as Congress does their job and appoints someone(s) independent of the administration to look into this.

    • BeachBum

      Not only the shenanigans, but also too and moar so the monkeyshines, skullduggery, tomfoolery, hanky-panky (my favorite) and waggery !

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        I was going to mention jiggery-pokery, but I think I’ll just mumble it into my pillow…

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Literally all I want is for the breaking news to wait until tomorrow. All my panic attacks (some of mine include sudden extreme aggression) have been getting more frequent and soon I will only be able to breathe through a paper bag.

    And I. Can’t. Look. Away.

    • Parakeetist

      Same here.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      IKR? I’m binging a Canadian TV series, on the last episode and I want to stream msnbc right now, so bad.

    • BosGrl

      I know. I wish we could do a group meditation!

    • BeachBum

      Silly me. I thought politics and religion is why they invented alcohol !

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    How is a Special Counsel different than a Special Prosecutor, or is they the same?

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      They are the same but the law calling them a special prosecutor wasn’t renewed. Don’t ask questions about bureaucracy.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Got it. Thanks.

    • SweetDeeKat

      Same.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Special Counsel derives from regulatory authority and can only be fired by the same authority that appointed them. So since the Deputy AG (acting in the capacity of the AG on this matter) appointed, only the Deputy AG can fire. Otherwise, they have all the same authority as a regular prosecutor.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Special Prosecutor law was so grievously abused by the Republicans and Kenn Starr that no one will call it that again.

  • Joe Beese

    A month before Donald Trump clinched the Republican nomination, one of his closest allies in Congress — House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy — made a politically explosive assertion in a private conversation on Capitol Hill with his fellow GOP leaders: that Trump could be the beneficiary of payments from Russian President Vladimir Putin.

    “There’s two people I think Putin pays: Rohrabacher and Trump,” McCarthy (R-Calif.) said, according to a recording of the June 15, 2016 exchange, which was listened to and verified by The Washington Post. Rep. Dana Rohrabacher is a Californian Republican known in Congress as a fervent defender of Putin and Russia.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/house-majority-leader-to-colleagues-in-2016-i-think-putin-pays-trump/2017/05/17/515f6f8a-3aff-11e7-8854-21f359183e8c_story.html

    • ManchuCandidate

      Wairetapp!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      WHOA. How is it that the reptiles haven’t learned anything in 43 years? NEVER tape yourself saying shit you wouldn’t want before an investigatory committee, dudes.

      • ltmcdies

        the only thing saving America right now is the collective stupidity of Republicans right now.

    • Manders

      [RAGE STROKE]

    • jesterpunk

      They knew about it before the RNC but still nominated and backed Trump. They all need to go down for this.

    • Jenny

      Whoa if true!

    • RobKanC

      Holy shit. So many traitors. Benedict Arnold is blushing in his grave. If only he had born in the 1900’s instead of 1700’s

      • Turgid Love Skwerl

        And Benedict Arnold arguably had a reason for it.

    • delete your account probably

      Ryan immediately trying to cover it up is what will hang him.

      And rightly so.

    • DainBramage

      Paul Ryan and the Legistraitors.

    • BosGrl

      So Orrin Hatch, huh?

  • Claire
    • Alan

      Well there goes the hour without more shit.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      When Little Babby Donnie is cornered, he says “I was being sarcastic” or “Joking” or “It’s Obama’s fault.”

    • jesterpunk

      It was just a prank bro.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Yup, it was all BS “fake news”, never happened! until WaPo said “want to hear the recording?” Then it was suddenly all a joke.

      • Carole

        Yeah, everything Ryan says is in quotation marks, too.

    • They’re trying to kill our open threads. Every. damn. day.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      This going to blow up in all their faces- proof that they were warned before the election. Every single bit of stonewalling and feigned ignorance since then is a lie and was for the purpose of hiding the truth for as long as they could. That is straight up collusion and conspiracy

      • Claire

        I really hope you’re right, but none of the things we’ve thought were going to blow up in the GOP’s face have. Their followers are so fixated on their spite and resentment that the GOP could literally declare martial law and start putting liberals in camps, and they’d line up to cheer and throw eggs at the cattle cars. I wish I were joking about that, but I’m not.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          It won’t penetrate with those dullards, nothing will. But to those of us in the reality based community, this might turn out to be big. And it’s getting tougher for the MSM to stick their heads in the sand and play “bothsidesdoit”.

    • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

      Rohrabacher is getting the people’s swift kick to the nuts when he’s up for re-election.

    • h4rr4r

      Duh!
      Everyone knows this. Trump gets loans on projects he steals from because it launders Russian oligarchs stolen money. So sayeth the rumors, I would never of course claim that about such a litigious president.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “No leaks, alright? This is how we know we’re a real family here.”
      Yeah, I’m sure Ryan says that every time somebody tells a joke. The fucker sounds like a mafia don.

      • Roadstergal

        “We want to keep our inside jokes.”

    • delete your account probably

      This is freaking NUTS. It’s not just that they’re conspiring to cover up treason – it’s that they are SO BAD at it.

  • major_asshole

    Can we please just for one godforsaken fucking night go without major details being revealed?! I have grown quite tired of being outraged and cannot deal with it.

    Every fucking night. Every FUCKING NIGHT it is more details about some dumbass things that Trump and his accomplices have done.

    And then today–and hell–the orange menace got up at the graduation of Coast Guard cadets and bitched about the media like they’re the fucking problem. No, Mr Fuckstick von Clowndick, the problem is that your administration AND YOU are doing fucking everything you can to run a criminal enterprise and GETTING FUCKING CAUGHT.

    Hey, ya know that book right-wing zealots are so happy to run their mouths off about? There’s a fucking quote about removing the goddamn plank from your own eye before even mentioning the splinter in someone else’s eye. So fix your own shit before bitching about the media again.

    FUCKING HELL. FUCKING SHIT HELL. I AM ANGRY.

    • jowgajen

      This needs to be the best comment.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Sorry, your concern has been received by the Dolt 45 regime and rejected in favor of Shooting Ourselves in Both Feet Part 11,249.

    • Carole

      Oh, that book. I thought we were talking about the Art of the Deal.

      • Bobathonic

        I expected some original German.

      • Roadstergal

        I thought it was Atlas Shrugged.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    “I think it’s very clear that everything the President says is in quotes, and therefore isn’t supposed to be taken literally. The quotation marks are clearly implied.” — Sean Spicer, eventually.

    • Carole

      Couldn’t we put his entire campaign and election in quotes, and say it wasn’t supposed to be taken literally?

  • CripesAmighty

    That didn’t take long. Bob Mueller appointed Special Counsel to run investigation at DOJ.

  • Joe Beese

    I’m gonna go with a tacit thumbs-up on Muller. He prosecuted Noriega and John Gotti, so he’s got passing familiarity with gangster-type-people.

    Both He and Comey threatened to resign if the domestic wiretapping stuff was found constitutional in 2004.

    I think he’s probably okay. He’s at least probably on Comey’s side, which seems to be at least “The enemy of my enemy…” territory.

    http://www.metafilter.com/167031/It-has-been-0-days-since-the-last-Trump-disaster#7031892

    • jowgajen

      Utterly legit choice, Mueller. He would be immune to pressure from the Administration and clean of any taint of Trump.

    • vivian

      He also prosecuted the Hell’s Angels and volunteered for special ops in Viet Nam; this guy has NO fear.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    Countdown to Trump ordering Sessions to fire him begins!

    • Rags

      He will try to eliminate the middle man

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Trump: Wanna come over for dinner Bob?
    Mueller: No.
    Trump: How about just a meeting?
    Mueller: No.
    Trump: Will you talk to Pence?
    Mueller: No.
    Trump: How about Jeff Sess…..
    Mueller: What part of NO don’t you understand?

    • DainBramage

      Trump would immediately start rage tweeting about how it’s SO UNFAIR.

  • MynameisBlarney

    OK, I’mma take a break and watch something on the netflix for a minute.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i’m on to sherlock, season 4.
      Join me!

      • american gods (free week trial on STARZ – you can see four episodes so far).

      • MynameisBlarney

        I’m watching Z Nation right now, lol.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          i like to take credit for that (after comment-bullying you on the subject).

          • MynameisBlarney

            *narrows eyes*
            Yes, it is all your fault! lol

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol, are you liking it?
            Wait, wait, tell me after you get to season 2.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yes. I’m liking it!

  • memzilla Ω
  • TJ Barke

    Heroin is not a stimulant…

  • ManchuCandidate

    It’s funny to me because the GOP thinks that trying to help a few poor US Amercians and being sort of nice to minorities is being traitor to US Americia yet kissing the ass of a Russian Diktator and doing his bidding while taking his money is somehow making US Amercia great again.

    Is it safe to rename the GOP the Grand Ole Traitors Party?

    I would think so.

    • BeachBum

      Greed. Selfishness. Don’t want the responsibilities and duties of citizenship. Think the job of governing is to make them richer.

    • DainBramage

      GOP: Gang Of Puppets.

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    I’m late already, but SPECIAL COUNSEL YES YES YES.

  • Chadwells

    As excited as I am about the Mueller news….is there no conflict of interest with the fact that he and Comey worked together? Comey will be a big part of this investigation….

    I just want to be sure that there will be no way for Fuckface can fuck this up.

    • Proud Liberal

      That was years ago. There is no conflict of interest.

      • Chadwells

        Ok. Cool! I didn’t know there was a statute of limitations for conflicts of interest!!

        • jowgajen

          Just having worked with Comey doesn’t establish an “interest” to be conflicted.

          • Chadwells

            Well, I meant that thing that happened when the both offered to resign together over domestic wiretapping. And Mueller was his boss. It’s not like they just worked in the same building…they worked very closely together.

            I just don’t want Fuckface to be sble to cry foul. Ya know?

          • jowgajen

            Oh he will. But Rosenstein has pulled a masterstroke by appointing a retired Republican appointee with unimpeachable credentials. I do hope this is the beginning of the true patriots stepping in to help clean up this mess.

          • Chadwells

            I respect the shit out of Mueller and I don’t think we could hope for anyone better…other than Yates! I hope he tears Fuckface a new a-hole!!

  • chascates
  • Turgid Love Skwerl
    • Carole

      Incitement, hell. I just read a list from some Alex Jones wannabee on Heavy about all the people she ACTUALLY killed. I particularly liked the one about the drug runner who crashed his plane in the middle of the desert and had “many enemies,” but Occam’s Razor has 10:1 odds that Killary did the deed.

      • Rick Hill

        Can you prove she DIDN’T do it? Case closed

  • Proud Liberal

    If there is a God, they will prove that the Trump Organization has been laundering money and RICO violations. The Feds will seize all of Trump’s properties and he will become a pauper.

  • Joe Beese

    i guess that trump didn’t manage to shatter rosenstein’s dignity thoroughly enough.

    wonder if trump’s inner circle can clamp down on him hard enough to keep him from trying to fire him.

    http://www.metafilter.com/167031/It-has-been-0-days-since-the-last-Trump-disaster#7031919

  • Finnabar87

    At this rate, all of America needs a tad of H.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Honestly I think ecstasy would help us understand reality clearer.

      • Lori

        Or at least feel better about it.

    • LadyLaz

      h?

  • Meccalopolis

    Robert Mueller appointed special prosecutor by DOJ to investigate meddling collusion

  • Joe Beese
  • Jenny

    No leaks cuz they’re a family. Which one is Fredo?

    • Finnabar87

      That is the hot potato, now isn’t it?

  • canes_pugnaces

    Mueller is GOP but a straight arrow, as near as I can tell. He certainly isnt’ going to take any guff from Sessions or Trump. He stood up to W and Ashcroft (with Comey) and won. We’ll see. Hopefully he’ll get to the bottom of Trump’s ties to Russian mafia guys. But I doubt it. That’s outside his directive. Grrrr…

  • Blackest Noobs

    prediction: Trump resigns on the 4th of July.

    • jesterpunk
      • Blackest Noobs

        nice one, dude.

    • mackafritz

      I really want this to drag on until 2018 so that it brings down as many republicans as possible.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I really want an exhaustive criminal investigation for the same reason.

      • Trip Space-Parasite

        Lock Trump up right away, then have another Repub perp-walked out of the building every week from now until there aren’t any left. Never let the Trumpettes go a day without reminding them what shit they dumped on us.

      • Blackest Noobs

        ha ha my prediction is A LONGSHOT…even if he is guilty as sin….it will take more time than a few weeks to bring it all crumbling down.
        UNLESS….it gets worse.

        but even if Trump is taken down before 2018…it will definitely have ripple effect to Republicans.

    • marxalot

      That’d be a heck of a birthday present!

      • Blackest Noobs

        for America and a sibling of mine who is a real yankee doodle dandy…a real live nephew/niece of my Uncle Sam…

        • marxalot

          Ich auch, yo. Every year, I get explosions for my birthday.

    • Turgid Love Skwerl
    • sw19wilson
      • Blackest Noobs

        oh go back to your little tiny island country, ya redcoat!

        we celebrate the 4th here muthercracker!

  • marxalot

    My caffeine-overdose induced Jittering Eyeballs of Truth have revealed to me that I need to build my own enby-Amazon costume for all comic cons forver. I can adapt my half-built Winter Soldier arm into armor! And it can go over the arm with the sleeve instead.

    • Red Bird Ω

      Are you alright, man?

      • marxalot

        I’m not going to argue with the Jittering Eyeballs of Truth, they’ve gotten my scripts to work today.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    We now have an official count of days from taking office to appointment of a special prosecutor counsel: 118

    • Trump is #1…..in this category.

    • jowgajen

      Just to cool it down a little bit … the special counsel is to investigate election interference. There is no evidence that Trump colluded (yet). We may never be able to prove he colluded. He may have obstructed the investigation. The actions described in the Comey memo may not be sufficient to prove that, however.

  • Ralph Gauer

    No less an intellectual giant than me (I?) said it best: OT is a pre-Trump concept. Sorry ‘trix… back once more into the breach.

  • Joe Beese

    When initially asked to comment on the exchange, Brendan Buck, a spokesman for Ryan, said: “That never happened,” and Matt Sparks, a spokesman for McCarthy, said: “The idea that McCarthy would assert this is absurd and false.”

    After being told that The Post would cite a recording of the exchange, Buck, speaking for the GOP House leadership, said: “This entire year-old exchange was clearly an attempt at humor.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Buck doing his best Maxwell Smart impression there?

      • Joe Beese

        “I have no business dealings with Russia.”
        “I don’t believe you.”
        “Would you believe that I had a few dealings but they were all legit?”
        “No.”
        “Would you believe I give Vladimir Putin oral sex for money?”

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Context?

    • BadKitty904

      Was there a laugh-track? Otherwise…

    • lucidamente
  • Apple Scruff

    Interjecting with another explosive news thing —

    House majority leader to colleagues in 2016: ‘I think Putin pays’ Trump’. House Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) immediately interjected, stopping the conversation from further exploring McCarthy’s assertion, and swore the Republicans present to secrecy.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/house-majority-leader-to-colleagues-in-2016-i-think-putin-pays-trump/2017/05/17/515f6f8a-3aff-11e7-8854-21f359183e8c_story.html?utm_term=.c1f61b5564e6

    So, President Hatch it is!

  • Joe Beese

    Looks like J-Chaff is planning his exit strategy.

    https://twitter.com/jasoninthehouse/status/864964765608624130

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      He fears the end is nigh and does not want to come under judgment.

      • sw19wilson

        Looks like the town hall stuff can notch up at least one success story.

    • ltmcdies

      yup….he’ll be hobbling into to his FOX gig any time now

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Fox? Fox is for pussies and the men who like to grab them. Chaffetz will be headed straight for K Street where he can get a sweet lobbying gig.

    • BadKitty904
    • boyblue122

      He must have cut a deal with Comey. Had to have to save his behind

  • Mike Janowski

    Uh, NBC Universal blocked the video. Whassup wit dat?

  • BadKitty904

    I think I’d prefer to be addicted to something that doesn’t involve needles, if that’s OK with y’all?

    • sw19wilson

      Pine tar?

      • BadKitty904

        Cats, knowing me.

        • They wear their needles as appendages.

          • BadKitty904

            See? It’s an improvement.

        • AJ Milne

          Don’t buy on the street. Ya never know what they been cut with…

          Get one of those fentanycats, it’s like having 50 regular ones.

    • DainBramage

      Coffee. That’s me.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      I’m addicted to photos of Bryce Harper, #nom.

    • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

      Nicotine, and I was down to 3 cigs a day on November 8th.

      Sigh

    • SisterArtemis

      I’m addicted to Wonkette. And cats.

      ok, and probably weed and coffee too.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Anybody else getting: “The API is currently undergoing maintenance, and your changes were saved, but will not be visible yet.”

    • Chadwells

      I’m getting it too…switched to cellphone and not getting it anymore. Weird.

    • AJ Milne

      Yep.

      Switched devices too… Will see if this appears…

      (ETA: Nope. This didn’t appear. See?)

    • jesterpunk

      I think disqus might be having problems keeping up with the recent news.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Then it’s the same as the rest of us.

        • jesterpunk

          Yeah, can we go back to when we had a president where the biggest scandal was them saying kids should eat healthy please?

    • marxalot

      Reloaded page, fixed.

    • Joe Beese

      I believe Disqus was sharing in the nervous breakdown of our moderators.

    • Am getting it on the celly.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Yep. I got that one too. Too much news.

  • Darkest Timeline Zach Morris

    Didn’t quite make 5:30, I guess.

  • ltmcdies

    https://twitter.com/hillyon/status/864965520638005249

    this is me…every damn day…and I’m not even American….

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      One thing about Trump, he’s been great for cable news ratings, since he’s the best reality TV star president we’ve ever had. Every day I come home and think “what did that asshole do now?” and turn on the TV and fire up my beloved Wonkette. Every day it’s a fresh new set of hell.

      • ltmcdies

        yeh…work is becoming a respite because we don’t as a rule fire up our Iphones while doing patient related stuff….

        but then you have to come home….

        • Meccalopolis

          If it weren’t for students, I’d be on here all day

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          American productivity soars under the Trump regime, since we’re all afraid to look at our phones, or go home and watch TV.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I nearly screamed and cried. Okay I’m going to go make some food and maybe a nuclear war will have started when I come back.

      • DainBramage

        Take care. We’ll get through this together.

  • Rick Hill
    • DainBramage

      “An armed society is a polite society.”
      — a bunch of idiots

  • Ellen D.

    Here is your open thread until what the fuck ever breaks in 15 minutes.

    You’re scary sometimes, Rebecca.

    • jowgajen

      Cha-ching.

    • Sophia

      Like Republicans have a sense of humour. Puhleeze

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    I’d like to think this is the path a search for truth and justice took. But I’d more like to think Rosenstein did it because Little Donnie threw him under the bus.

  • bluicebank

    What the White House staff has to listen to from now on.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u95E__3TSN0

  • Cat Cafe for the Investigation
  • boyblue122

    Agent Mulder to lead FBI probe?

    • Parakeetist

      Please let it be so.

  • h4rr4r

    So for Prime members WP is only $4 a month after 6 months free. This saves $72, so it is paying for 3/4 of prime right there.

    I am sure everyone of you smart folks already knew that, but it was news to me.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      And if you are a subscriber, you can share your access with one other person.

      • h4rr4r

        Good point! Technically my wife is the prime member. #misandry

  • notaten

    Sorry Trix :(. Special counsel appointment just happened. I’m tapped out for the month already or I would throw some bucks to cover some of your overtime.

  • BJW
  • Joe Beese

    this is honestly like watching a train wreck unfold in slow motion except you actually kind of want the people in the train to die

    http://www.metafilter.com/167031/It-has-been-0-days-since-the-last-Trump-disaster#7031933

    • BadKitty904

      Except for the “kind of”. I’m over this shit.

  • Come here a minute

    It was more like 40 minutes, but we’ll give you partial credit.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    What are the odds the white house is looking something like this for staff?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9MjWBInGZ0

  • Sophia

    There has been so much shit going on I wasn’t even aware this was a thing. It’s hard keeping your eyes on all the balls : US judge blocks federal move against immigration lawyers

    The government had told the Northwest Immigrant Rights Project, a nonprofit in Washington state, that it could not advise people in immigration court without formally representing them.

    The project argued that it did not have resources to formally represent everyone it advises, and much of the work involves informally guiding people how to file legal documents on their own behalf. It filed a lawsuit against the government earlier this month in Seattle federal court.

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/05/us-judge-blocks-federal-move-against-immigration-lawyers/

  • AJ Milne

    (Laughs hard at ‘See you in another hour probably oh god no…’)

    Same batshit time, same batshit channel.

  • Parakeetist

    Democratic Underground is down. Probably crashed from heavy traffic after the special counsel announcement.

    • mackafritz

      It was hacked last year. Looks like it may have been again.

  • Joe Beese
  • DainBramage

    Every day. Open Thread ====>> Shit Hits Fan.

  • Reximus
    • jesterpunk

      Is he still trying to help Evan McMullin when Chaffetz seat is open?

  • Red Bird Ω

    It looks like June is shaping up to be a nice month. How’s the August impeachment party plans going Wonkette?

    • SisterArtemis

      We should have coordinated drinky things across the nation!

      • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

        ‘Trix and the fam are gonna be tired!

      • ltmcdies

        how about across North America…I would break my” America, so sorry but you’re boycotted” thing to celebrate the fall of His Fraudulence

        just realized I put “sorry” that sentence…I’m such a fucking Canadian.

        • Red Bird Ω

          Eh.

        • Sophia

          Americans must be rubbing off on you. The proper way to express that is “I’m sorry I’m such a fucking Canadian”

          • ltmcdies

            hahahaaa, so true

            however…these days I suspect there might be Americans who wouldn’t mind being fucking Canadians.

          • Three Finger Salute

            I wouldn’t mind fucking Canadians. :D Seems all we have are douchey, rapey Gamergate frat bros, socially inept 4chan-posting neckbeards, and fat rednecks. You guys have Justin Trudeau (and, OK, the other Justin), Drake, the Property Brothers (and the third one who looks like Pete Wentz), the guy from that CBS show in the ’90s about the Mountie with the blind dog, and probably some cute Syrian refugees who resemble Zayn Malik or a young Steve Jobs. And you guys like to do it in a canoe from what I’ve heard. So… looks like all the good ones are marriedgay — Canadian?

        • SisterArtemis

          Well, an international drinky is certainly a welcome idea!

    • jesterpunk

      August isnt good for me, can we move it up to this month or early June?

      • AJ Milne

        We _do_ need time to blow up all the balloons, ya know.

        • jesterpunk

          I can bring some balloons already blown up.

    • Bozilingus

      Impeachment and a solar eclipse.

  • memzilla Ω
    • jesterpunk

      Of course he did, at this point if they had a video of Trump blowing Putin i wouldnt even be surprised.

      • Bobathonic

        I can hear Putin’s “you have pretty mouth”…

        Sorry, y’all.

      • h4rr4r

        Urine.

        That is all.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        We wouldn’t be surprised – and Fucks Gnus and the Trumpanzees would defend it.

        • jesterpunk

          “Russia is an ally and our friends.”

    • Lori

      That entire family should be in jail.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Holy shit I don’t know how much more I can absorb at this moment.

      • We’re no longer absorbing, we are fully saturated.

        • marxalot

          Soon, the emesis begins.

    • h4rr4r

      Of course that is not a tie to Russia. They used Caymans owned companies as go betweens, or something like that, no ties to Russia.

    • boyblue122

      WSJ turning against Trump?

    • I read this earlier and I thought it was just a teaser for the 5:30 wonkette happy hour buzz kill.

    • Sophia

      That’s one of those hotels where they just pay him for his name. He doesn’t own it.

      http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/trump-tower-toronto-1.3834368

      • memzilla Ω

        It started OUT as a partnership with Twitler.

        • Sophia

          Aaah, interesting

    • vivian

      I like how the FBI is feeding each of the major news sources serially; very democratic and fair-minded of them. Go to it boys!

    • eric really is not right is he?

  • Apple Scruff

    Evan McMullin, who in his role as policy director to the House Republican Conference participated in the June 15 conversation, said: “It’s true that Majority Leader McCarthy said that he thought candidate Trump was on the Kremlin’s payroll. Speaker Ryan was concerned about that leaking.”

    https://wonkette.com/617293/rachel-maddow-and-lawrence-odonnell-walk-you-through-your-week-wait-its-only-wednesday#disqus_thread

  • sw19wilson

    Mueller?… Mueller?

  • Joe Beese
    • boyblue122

      Who are the people in the transcipts

    • BosGrl

      This part:

      Ryan: And guess…guess who’s the only one taking a strong stand up against it? [Putin’s propaganda war] We are.
      Rodgers: We’re not…we’re not…but, we’re not…

      • boyblue122

        Paul Ryan?

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Anyone who can take on heavies like John Gotti isn’t gonna be intimidated by a penny-ante operator like His Fraudulency.

    • Chadwells

      Careful…somehow Ghouliani was able to take down the mob and look at what an asshole he is!!

    • BosGrl

      Ryan: And guess…guess who’s the only one taking a strong stand up against it? [Putin’s propaganda war] We are.
      Rodgers: We’re not…we’re not…but, we’re not…

  • Lyly Sirivong

    I can’t keep track. And I need to go to bed. Ugh.

    • BosGrl

      What is it, like 12:30 there?

      • Lyly Sirivong

        Exactly. And I need to be up at 6.30.

        So, goodnight !

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Bonne nuit!

        • BosGrl

          Good night!

  • La forza del resistino
    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Even Shonda Rhimes would strike that dialogue as ridiculous.

  • ButtercuptheHarelessRabbit

    Of course they knew. Of course they did.

    “A month before Donald Trump clinched the Republican nomination, one of his closest allies in Congress — House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy — made a politically explosive assertion in a private conversation on Capitol Hill with his fellow GOP leaders: that Trump could be the beneficiary of payments from Russian President Vladimir Putin. ”

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/house-majority-leader-to-colleagues-in-2016-i-think-putin-pays-trump/2017/05/17/515f6f8a-3aff-11e7-8854-21f359183e8c_story.html?hpid=hp_hp-top-table-main_transcript-6pm%3Ahomepage%2Fstory&utm_term=.973390c94e38

    • AJ Milne

      It’s _____ all the way down.

      (Answer: obstruction.)

      • Ralph Gauer

        turtles

      • jesterpunk

        Treason?

      • sw19wilson

        Treacle?

    • Vincent Ricola

      It is difficult to tell from the recording the extent to which the remarks were meant to be taken literally.

      LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Protip: If what you’re saying could be taken seriously, don’t joke about it.

        • DainBramage

          It’s like saying “bomb” at the airport. You deserve everything you get after that.

    • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

      There’s a legal term I’m searching for here…

      What is it…

      Conspiracy! Yes, that’s it. Say hello to POTUS Orin Hatch.

    • so this is a double scoop evening.

      way to go WAPO

  • Sister Suffragette

    Josh Marshall says the White House got only 30 minutes’ notice of the Mueller announcement. Love it.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Oh, the Twitter storm tonight!!

      • Yr. Gma

        I’m hoping.

    • bluicebank

      A pity they didn’t hear about it on the TV during a recruitment meeting.

    • DainBramage

      I wish they’d found out when Mueller and a hundred agents came in to take all the documents.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      That’s less warning than Russia got about the 59 Tomahawks!

  • The Wanderer

    BREAKING, NBC: DOJ selects former FBI Director Robert Mueller as Special Counsel to investigate the Russia matter.

    • LadyLaz

      They beat you to it.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    I imagine every evening in the Sekrit ChatCave about this time:

    “General Quarters, General Quarters, all hands man your battlestations. Proceed up and forward to starboard, down and aft to port.”

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • Rick Hill

    The WH melt down hasn’t stopped trump from his important duties of bending the world to his will.
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aXq1Zjg_460s.jpg

  • cosmiccowgirl

    Your headline is on the money! Breaking news happened a little after 5 p.m.!

    • as with this entire nightmare, i got a wapo feed first at exactly 5:03

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Just sayin’:
    “In classical mechanics, linear momentum, translational momentum, or simply momentum (pl. momenta; SI unit kg · m/s) is the product of the mass and velocity of an object, quantified in kilogram-meters per second. It is dimensionally equivalent to impulse, the product of force and time, quantified in newton-seconds. Newton’s second law of motion states that the change in linear momentum of a body is equal to the net impulse acting on it. For example, a heavy truck moving rapidly has a large momentum, and it takes a large or prolonged force to get the truck up to this speed, and would take a similarly large or prolonged force to bring it to a stop. If the truck were lighter, or moving more slowly, then it would have less momentum and therefore require less impulse to start or stop.”

    • Ralph Gauer

      F=MA.

      It’s not just a good idea. It’s the law.

      • efoveks

        And work is Fs! Leave it to science to come up with a mathematical expression for work. A little OT, but it’s open thread. :)

        W=Fs

  • Claire

    In other news, this article about Black Democratic candidates is such good news to me. The Democratic party has got to rethink their strategy of going around telling everyone the Republicans are right all the time. It’s hollowed out the party at the state level and caused the base support to crumble. The party has to stop chasing the Reagan Republican vote as if the vote of Joe the Plumber in Nebraska is so valuable that it’s worth losing the vote of ten POCs and/or women in Baltimore who get discouraged by the party’s message that Joe’s opinion is the only one that counts.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/15/us/politics/black-democrats-governor-races-2018.html?smid=tw-nytimes&smtyp=cur&mtrref=t.co

  • Shanzgood

    Do people think it works better for the last thread of the day to be the Open Thread? If so, I’m thinking a “late breaking crazy shit” thread could be left up for a while and then the OT could get timed to be pinned to the top because OT people tend to gravitate to the most recent post.

    Just wondering if that could work because of how weekend stuff gets set to be automatically posted at a certain time.

    • jesterpunk

      I would agree, the open thread should be the last thread of the day. Just about everyone is going to go there anyway.

      • jowgajen

        yeah, it comes down to where the noncommenters are to not comment with.

      • Yr. Gma

        I’m not gonna piss off Trix. I do what I’m told. She wants our profound open thread chatter in one place and not in the threads with real stuff, then that’s what I’m gonna do.

    • Red Bird Ω

      I agree. I don’t like scrolling.

    • DrBigHead

      I’m confused, and as an old and not quite up to speed with this new fangled interwebs thing. But why do we need a specified open thread? Is it because it is easier on the moderators (is this moderated? If so, they have been very forgiving of my posts)? Just askin’

      • Red Bird Ω

        Yes. And no pants.

      • sw19wilson

        Also, too, newbies/lurkers read and get scared/confused when we mention canned clams and the like.

        • BeachBum

          Eewww ! {shiverrrrsss}

      • Shanzgood

        Editrix likes comments to be as closely related to the article as possible. I want to respect that but I also recognize that the last thread of the day tends to be where everyone goes to rant their random stuff. So I’m trying to make a happy medium. Normally, the last thread of the day IS the Open Thread but we’ve been dealing with late-breaking news reports after that.

        • It also helps visitors to see that the Wonketariate not butterfly brained

          • Shanzgood

            That also, which I assumed was the objective Editrix had.

      • Shanzgood

        It’s the way Editrix likes it. She likes us to stay on topic. I’m not the best at it myself but I’m still trying to respect the way she wants to run her site. So that’s why I mention it.

    • leota2

      Good idea, but I won’t know. I’m pretty wasted on martinis after hearing the LBCS threads,

    • Vincent Ricola

      I don’t want a whole vote since I’m barely here at night (unless it’s a big news or work night), but I always check the last post first because I assume that’s the most active.

    • mackafritz

      But it is all late breaking crazy shit now.

      • Shanzgood

        That’s kind of where I was going. Trying to make some order out of the chaos.

  • Jenny

    So the press usually gives heads up when bad things are about to be printed. Inevitably, a tape of the republicans backing their guy about Russia, while at the same time “investigating” their guy about Russia. The DOJ was backed into a wall. Quick get the prosecutor, big news, bury the complicit story!

  • Sister Suffragette

    Christ, CNN showed Joe Lieberman leaving the White House just now, waving and grinning like the soulless shithead that he is.

    • Vecchioivan

      The only rat I know of who scurries onto a sinking ship.

      • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

        Literal snort out loud. Well played.

  • WiscoJoe

    “See you in another hour probably oh god no.”
    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    Joe Lieberman is senior counsel at a law firm that works with Donald Trump.

    http://www.newsweek.com/fbi-director-joe-lieberman-trump-kasowitz-611182

    • DainBramage

      Joe Lieberman is Al Gore’s Sarah Palin.

      • janecita

        He is the reason why I voted for Nader. I hate that man with a passion.

      • Yr. Gma

        I was so mad at Al when he picked that traitorous bug for his running mate.

    • jesterpunk

      They seem nice.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kasowitz,_Benson,_Torres_%26_Friedman#Controversy

      In December 2007, one of the firm’s partners, Jeremy Pitcock, was fired
      for “extremely inappropriate personal conduct.” Pitcock sued the firm
      for wrongful firing and defamation and the firm countered with a suit
      claiming Pitcock sexually harassed 12 female employees. A panel of the
      Appellate Division, dismissed both suits

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        still not as bad as the miami prosecutor who bit a stripper on the…uh…tit.

        • jesterpunk

          Did Trump pay them or where they one of the ones who sued him for nonpayment?

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          It’s Florida, so…

  • Chadwells

    I’m starting to come around on Rod “The Untouchables Extra” Rosenstein. He seems like he just might be an ok guy. Or maybe he’s just pissed as hell at Fuckface. Either way…well played, Rod.

    • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

      He gets credit when this family of grifters and their entire merry band of fuckheads are either in jail or…

      • Chadwells

        Ugh…See? I don’t know shit about him.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      It doesn’t necessarily have to be a good guy/bad guy thing. There are some things that lawyers just can’t/won’t involve themselves in if they want to keep on being lawyers. Obstruction of justice is one of the big ones.

      • Chadwells

        HAH! I can see how that might be a lawyerly bugaboo!

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Perjury, and the subornation thereof, are generally frowned upon as well.

      • BeachBum

        That’s what I have heard. The court believing and trusting they are on the side of the law seems to of utmost importance.

  • Reximus

    So this special counsel has a LOT of power, does that include punching David Clarke in the face whenever he wants?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I don’t want any whining out of you when you wind up doing life in the Milwaukee County jail for terroristic threats.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        In all fairness, a life sentence in Milwaukee County Jail can end up being a pretty short stay.

  • Ralph Gauer

    Regarding the russian bank thingy, it gets even better:

    A Russian state-owned bank UNDER US SANCTIONS, whose CEO met with President Donald Trump’s son-in-law in December, helped financed the construction of the president’s 65-story Trump International Hotel and Tower in Toronto, according to a new report.

    • Rick Hill

      Well, if there’s no one who will enforce the laws, was it really broken?

      • BadKitty904

        Ask the Republican Congress.

        • Rick Hill

          They’re to preoccupied with trying to find a scandal by Obama or Hillary or generally just staying home because of a stomach flu, this month and aren’t available for comment.

          Which, I gotta throw this out: “Hey, fckheads! It’s only month four for your wonderboy in the WH. How much more can you guys take?”

    • BadKitty904

      Extra points if they can nail Kushner, too!

      • i want sessions more than kushner.

        both would be fine.

        • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

          Kushner’s young, plenty of time for him to step on his own dick. Plus, he’ll be under extra special scrutiny for the rest of his life after this.

        • BadKitty904

          It appeals to my sense of symmetry, since Kushner’s Dad was also imprisoned for corruption and financial misdealings.

        • Add Pence to the wish list

    • Joe Beese

      No business with Russia. No business with Russia. You’re business with Russia.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I heard about that IRL Bates Motor Inn, and had a dream recently that Trudeau had the Canadian government seize Trump’s stupid hotel, had it demolished, and replaced it with the George Lucas Museum and a refugee housing complex that the Property Brothers helped build. Come to Canada, young Jedis! Free Star Wars screenings and Timbits for everyone!

  • WiscoJoe

    What if Trump travels to Saudi Arabia and then decides to seek asylum and never return? He’d be so happy there! Everything is plated in gold, there’s no alcohol, lots of phallic buildings, and he might actually be respected by polite society. I’d bet they’d even make him a prominent member of the monarchy and/or give him his own TV show, whatever makes him happier.

    • BadKitty904

      If Congress subpoenas Trump’s financial records, we’ll see just how fast he flees to Moscow for “political asylum”…

      • h4rr4r

        He can hang out with the wikileaks guy.

        • WiscoJoe

          Now that’s a TV show I’d watch! Trump and Assange, Live from the Ecuadorian Embassy. Watch as two megalomaniacs/serial sexual assualters fight over the last cup of instant noodles and whatever remains of their dignity.

          • h4rr4r

            I was thinking Snowden​. He leaked a bunch of stuff to WikiLeaks before we found out WikiLeaks was a Russian psyop.

          • WiscoJoe

            Snowden can make special appearances as a guest judge.
            “I’m sorry Donald, but you are not Putin’s next top useful idiot.”

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I’d definately watch that.

    • Suttree

      And then a firing squad after he grabs some Saudi Prince’s wife’s pussy.

      • WiscoJoe

        When you’re a star they let you do it… even in Saudi Arabia!

        • Suttree

          It’s fine if it’s outside of the royal family.

    • Red Bird Ω

      Also, women are oppressed.

      • jesterpunk

        So republicans will like it there?

    • BosGrl

      He can have more than one wife at a time, I think!

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        and that right there may be a winner.
        Also, the ostentatious gold decorations is considered fashionable.

        • BosGrl

          He would be right at home. And he can cover his hair.

      • h4rr4r

        The punishment for that of course stays in effect. Which is having more than one wife.

        • Lambsendbeds

          More than one wife libelz?

      • janecita

        Yay, he can marry Ivanka!

      • notaten

        From what I’ve gathered, the downside is you have to support each wife the same. In other words, if he wants to shower wife #1 with gold and diamonds, he has to provide the same financial support to wives 2 – 5.

    • Three Finger Salute

      That whole circus family and the swamp creatures in his cabinet should seek asylum in Bellevue.

  • Anna Rompage

    So Donad actually made it past his first 100 days before an independent special prosecutor was assigned to investigate him….

    Winning?

    • BosGrl

      Yeah, after 100 days you can go into syndication.

    • jesterpunk

      But he is still ahead of schedule and over budget. It took Nixon 6 years to do what Trump is doing in less then 6 months.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        The Internet is a powerful tool. #TheResistance

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Budding theory on Breitbart: Dems planted Russian colluder in Trump campaign.

    • jowgajen

      Yes, we thought it was Trump, but then the Russians outbid us.

    • Anna Rompage

      Yep, Manafort, Page & Flynn were all DNC operatives being managed by none other than Hillary’s henchman, Ben Ghazi!

      • jesterpunk

        Just Jared also too.

        • Or in the thought processes of the alt-Right “Well, Jared, we know he has strong sympathies for bankers and Israel”

          • yyyaz

            Hate to upfist, but 100% accurate.

          • jesterpunk

            Can we stop calling them the alt-right and just call them Nazis instead?

          • Yes

    • AJ Milne

      We are amused.

      You just keep being… You, Breitbartians.

    • h4rr4r

      So us Dems planted Trump?

      • AJ Milne

        … not as seamless an op as we’d hoped…

        … clearly used too much manure for the planting.

      • Reximus

        I always though it was obvious

      • That was actually a theory to which some ‘pubes subscribed this time last year

        • yyyaz

          Gah, just last year, two million months ago.

    • Joe Beese

      Nothing gets past those guys.

    • mackafritz

      If the Dems are so smart, why isn’t Hillary prez?

    • SisterArtemis

      lord.
      I would like to think we have a mole or two in there, but isn’t taking much for the Trump team to fuck their own shit up.

      • Lambsendbeds

        If there is a mole, it’d be one of those butt-ugly mole rats. Oh wait – that’s Jeff Sessions.

    • Amelia Resists and Persists

      I love how they keep creating theories about how we’re evil masterminds, but like, really dumb ones?

      Like the millions of fraudulent votes we planted for Hillary…in states she had a 0% chance of losing.

      A+ detectiving, Breitbart. Good job.

    • ltmcdies

      and his name was Paul Ryan….

    • vivian

      Named Donald J Trump

    • Lambsendbeds

      FFS…*headdesk*

    • Meccalopolis

      Before this is over he’ll be a new York Dem infiltrator

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      ‘Cause if there’s anything we Lefties love, it’s unrestrained capitalist oligarchy and ingroup/outgroup authoritarian strongmen.

  • Sedagive ’em Hell
  • II Gosala
    • mackafritz

      Oh yes.

    • TundraGrifter

      He doesn’t have to be a weatherman to see which way the wind in blowing.

    • Lambsendbeds

      About fucking time!

  • janecita

    He is going to be so bummed out on his first foreign trip:-( Pobrecito, NOT!!!!

    • Vecchioivan

      Maybe the Israelis will tell him some important secrets and that’ll cheer him up.

      A-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • janecita

        I’m hoping that Pope Francis will beat him up.

        • Parakeetist

          Best of three falls.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Feats of Strength!

        • Bobathonic

          Via rochambeau.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Maybe the Pope can take Trump on a tour of those showers he had built for italian homeless people.

  • BadKitty904
  • Reximus

    This is what alt-winning looks like, Donny

    • jesterpunk
    • RobKanC

      Remember how Obama whined all the time when the asshole republicans blocked his agenda for 6 years.

      • jesterpunk

        Remember when McConnell said that republicans only goal was to make Obama a 1 term president? Remember McConnell filibustered his own bill because Democrats where ok with it?

  • cheetojeebus
    • DainBramage

      Legistraitors.

      • Parakeetist

        Win

    • yyyaz

      Makes me smile to read Lyin’ Ryan is a proven collaborator now that the Shithammer has been raised to striking level.

      • Lambsendbeds

        Sadly, if Pence and Ryan go down with Trump, that would leave us with Preznit Orrin Hatch! He’s also an evil motherfucker, so I’ve heard. Wait until 2018 elections. If we take the House, we’re golden.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Huh. Maybe that’s why they’re rushing this.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Guy on TV whose name I can’t remember…this is the worst possible outcome for the White House.

    • mackafritz

      Not yet. The worst possible outcome is impeachment.

      • h4rr4r

        Conviction, impeachment goes before that.

        • Parakeetist

          Squee! Clap yo hands!

        • vivian

          OK, third worst outcome.

      • vivian

        That’s actually the second worst outcome.

      • TundraGrifter

        The worst possible outcome is 3 years and many months of Mr. Trump as our President.

        • mackafritz

          That’s the worst outcome for us.

          • TundraGrifter

            Yep.

      • Lambsendbeds

        Did you say “worst”? Don’t you mean “least awful”?

    • Parakeetist

      Was his name “Everybody”?

    • Nockular cavity

      Personally, World War III would be the worst possible outcome for me, but I guess I’m just a little too self-centered that way.

  • Claire
    • RobKanC

      He will integrate the congress with Russian version and that will fix it. The repubs would love it because democracy is now a farce and they get to oppress ppl..

    • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

      Why would they tidy up? It’s better this way, they’ve punked us, publicly. Do you think the rest of the world thinks they’re a joke anymore, or do they maybe give them a second glance?

      • Meccalopolis

        Because they are going to pay for this

    • Doug Langley

      I think it involves Jacuzzis and 15th floor apartments.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Just once this week, I would like to get off work, get into my car, turn on the radio, and not say “Holy shit! What?!?!?” Just once.

    • Rick Hill

      Missing the Obama years, huh?

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Bigly.

    • Mary Sandoras

      I think your being overly optimistic there with that request.

    • well, it IS hump day.

  • Rick Hill

    Don’t let all this traitorous traitorocity keep you from your regular chistianists bashing!
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/anbwqMo_460s.jpg

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • RobKanC

      What is this about Yogurt?

      • janecita
        • RobKanC

          lol. What.. Funny how that works.

        • Sophia

          “You just ran into a Texan,” Jones said. “So you get ready because we’re never backing down and our audience is never backing down.”

          Until Jones did. Again.

          Sound like someone else we know of?

      • TundraGrifter

        He’s an Eastern European playing in the NBA finals. Good defender and rebounder. He can shoot but he can’t hit.

        • So not like a constipated owl – who can hoot …

      • Lambsendbeds

        Alex Jones got sued by Chobani Yogurt for defamation. He claimed that their immigrant work force were spreading smallpox or herpes or summat similar to their customers. I’m assuming the apology is part of the settlement.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          The apology is the settlement.

          • Lambsendbeds

            What – no Ameros? Piffle!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        The Chobani guy likes to hire refugees. Alex Jones decided that meant that his city was a festering hell of immigrant rape. The Chobani guy took offense.

    • Jenny

      Lol

    • Chadwells

      All the upvotes!!!

    • Edith Prickly

      He wins all the internets.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      fancy yogurt.

    • ltmcdies

      that should go in the Tweeter Hall of Fame

    • Roadstergal

      Yogurt had a more effective ‘see you in court’ than Drumpf.

    • Vecchioivan

      The man clearly has no culture.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        but that’s alright, mama. Cause everybody’s stoned.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Oh, the euphemistic possibilities here…

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Crow flavor.

  • cheetojeebus

    I really hope the pee tape was shot on HD. oh hell, what am i saying!

  • TundraGrifter

    When he was running for the office of President of the US of A, Mr. Trump promised to see that more Americans were employed. Now that every soul in the Trump Administration has to lawyer up while there are attorneys to be had, he’s certainly helping make that come true.

    • ManchuCandidate

      “The old man was right. Only the lawyers won. We lost. We always lose.”
      -Butchering of the Magnificent Seven

    • Rick Hill

      Their lawyers have lawyers.

  • WiscoJoe

    Did anyone bring up the State Department “WE don’t think you’re smart enough to HANDLE OUR information!!!!” guy? Not exactly Jack Nicholson material.

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    Right now a feeling of surging hope is mixed with roiling anger and a desire for relentless, pitiless vengeance.

    With votes and other pointy, flaming things.

    • DainBramage

      I’ll settle for vengeance with convictions, huge fines and long prison sentences.

      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        I’ll settle for a reversal of every bit of legislation and every EO, a public apology on behalf of all Republicans, and the installation of Hillary Clinton as POTUS.

        • ltmcdies

          now that is revenge served cold…..

        • Meccalopolis

          Gorsuck impeachment

      • Shoto

        None of that Club Fed bullshit, either. Prison sentences in hard-time federal pens.

        • DainBramage

          Yes. I want Trump and his minions to be using metal toilets right next to their beds.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            In private prisons, making office furniture for pennies.

        • Meccalopolis

          With the other hardcore criminals

        • and those pens are the ones run by the Dept of Agriculture

    • Courser_Resistance

      Pitchforks at dawn or GTFO!

    • BeachBum

      Of course, as we know, vengeance must be served cold.

    • ltmcdies

      GOP really has sullied themselves and the America’s democratic values, haven’t they. They deserve to be destroyed …”with votes”

      OTOH….if a few of them were flattened by a smallish meteor strike….I predict cheering…

    • Meccalopolis

      I think I might sleep tonight

      • DrBigHead

        I won’t. It is like Christmas Eve and I’m 5 years old again!

        • Meccalopolis

          Presents!

  • Joe Beese

    Talking points for asking your Rep to come out against Ryan and McCarthy out:

    – Paul Ryan and Keven McCarthy must resign their leadership positions and/or their House seats for dereliction of duty.

    – The WaPo has heard a tape of them suggesting that Trump has been paid by Vladimir Putin

    – They conspired to keep their inside knowledge from the American People in order to put a man compromised by a hostile nation into the Oval Office

    – Representative must call for their immediate resignation for failing the American People in such a grotesque fashion

    – Ryan and McCarthy are completely unfit to lead the House

    http://www.metafilter.com/167031/It-has-been-0-days-since-the-last-Trump-disaster#7031981

  • Reximus
  • now look how man baby got rewarded for his bigly purity speech on the most oppressed man baby president in history.

    unfair!

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
  • Courser_Resistance

    Department of Justice appoints special counsel in Trump-Russia investigation:

    I’ll just leave this here….

    https://mic.com/articles/177471/department-of-justice-appoints-special-counsel-in-trump-russia-investigation?utm_medium=web&utm_source=micPush#.KTbrEIUJ6

    • DrBigHead

      So, I guess this is the “whatever fuck breaks” thing Rebecca was referring to?

  • bluicebank

    Jeez. How many scandals can break in a day?

    Bet you the GOP politicians’ geiger counters are pegging at the “run you motherfucker!” level.

    • Meccalopolis

      Yee-haw get them GOoPers!

    • Sophia

      Is that faster or slower than the non-comment counter on Wonkette the last week?

  • Joe Beese

    specifically empowered to investigate “any other matters within the scope of 28 C.F.R. § 600.4(a),” which means “federal crimes committed in the course of, and with intent to interfere with, the Special Counsel’s investigation, such as perjury, obstruction of justice, destruction of evidence, and intimidation of witnesses.”

    And he has discretionary authority to prosecute.

    http://www.metafilter.com/167031/It-has-been-0-days-since-the-last-Trump-disaster#7032010

    My emphasis in fact, but probably Rosenstein’s in spirit.

  • BosGrl
    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Does that mean the nuke code is 4 8 15 16 23 42?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      Obligatory: “I have the best lies. Nobody has lies like me. Nobody. Believe me.”

  • Vincent Ricola

    I’m still giddy that they have Paul Ryan on tape, cracking jokes about how the Russians are paying Donald and that prick Dana Rohrabacher!! And then doing a shitty Godfather “this doesn’t leave this room fam” speech!! These fucks are all going down!!

  • Ruth Serafini

    So, dear Wonkette… apparently a special counsel has been appointed by the DOJ. Anything left in that pot of coffee?

    • Doug Langley

      Grounds for impeachment?

      • yyyaz

        And the bitter end.

      • msanthropesmr

        Duuuude I’d hire you for the puns alone.

        • Doug Langley

          But I can never find it in the job descriptions. :(

  • WiscoJoe

    It’s kind of neat that the guy who led the case against John Gotti is now leading the case against close Gotti’s close associate. I’m guessing Mueller already has plenty of dirt on Donnie going back to the 90s.

  • AJ Milne

    … soo for those just tuning in, it’s at, the evening still young:

    . Kevin McCarthy: ‘…there’s two people I think Putin pays: Rohrabacher and Trump’. On tape.

    … aaaand a special counsel’s been appointed.

    Whoever’s writing this thing just isn’t much for building suspense.

    • Rick Hill

      ‘Ware the friday night twitting hour

    • Suttree

      Republican response “It was a joke!” Seriously Lester Holt just said that.

      • Rick Hill

        …because it obviously goes through several shell companies and not directly to trump….

      • AJ Milne

        Which part? Nominating him?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        It took them 10 months and 48 hours to come up with that. I think “the family” comment just earned RICO charges.

    • bluicebank

      I’ll just summarize the novel:

      “It was a dark and shitty day. Then it got darker. Then shit happened.
      But wait, more shit just happened. And another shitpile landed on that shitpile.

      The piles began to steam. And then glow after reaching critical mass. Unbelievably, a flood of fecal matter overwhelmed all the shitpiles. The end.”

    • NellCote71

      Breaking all the rules of plot structure.

  • TheGrandWazoo2
    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i guarantee he’s not wearing pants.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        I know I’m not.

        • BeachBum

          Lemme see. Mmmm. Nope. Me neethers.

          • Opalescent Riddles

            Me nethers.

      • Nockular cavity

        Would you?

    • ltmcdies

      every one of his briefings is a bloody emergency…

      • BeachBum

        What ? No bushes ? Where are the bushes ?

    • yyyaz

      I could actually feel a tiny spark of human empathy for him if he did just this.

    • BeachBum

      I love Cleaver Greene ! I have seen every episode twice !
      He is the ONLY lawyer that can save Trump’s Ass !
      I wonder if Trump knows he’s fictional !

      • Doug Langley

        I wonder if Cleaver knows Trump’s fictional.

    • TootsStansbury

      Asshole would eat up ALL the ho-hos.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Cannonball!!!

  • Rick Hill
  • cheetojeebus

    If I put ice on my schadenfreude will it go down a bit? it’s getting uncomfortable.

    • AJ Milne

      If your schadenfreude lasts more than eight hours, see a doctor.

      • BeachBum

        Like those blue pills. Ive heard.

    • BeachBum

      Hurts so good.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Cold compress and a liniment rub

    • Reximus

      mmmm…that isn’t your schadenfreude

    • marxalot

      Have you tried rubbing it out?

      • snark-lurker

        works for me

    • snark-lurker

      4 hours already?

    • pussygrabber in chief

      Don’t you treat an excess of schadenfreude with heat?

  • Joe Beese

    Wonder what was going through Rosenstein’s mind when he laid down this John Hancock.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1fa5dd7cb5a9acdac78edf8535c5a36a83db3b7e10e3142f4a45138a4dba9293.png

  • Joe Beese
  • Sedagive ’em Hell
  • jesterpunk

    Oh this was missed in all the other crazy stuff. Guess who else is investigating Manafort?

    http://www.newsweek.com/former-trump-adviser-paul-manafort-investigated-new-yorks-top-attorneys-609001

  • memzilla Ω

    BREAKING: Rethuglicans Opine On Impeachment Proceedings

    “It is crucial to our system of justice that we demand the truth. I fear that an acquittal of this President will weaken the legal system by providing an option for those who consider being less than truthful in court.” — Jeff Sessions

    “This great nation can tolerate a President who makes mistakes. But it cannot tolerate one who makes a mistake and then breaks the law to cover it up.” — Orrin Hatch

    “I think we have seen the truth. And I think the final truth is that this President should be held to the very highest of standards.” — Jim Inhofe

    “We in Kansas know that you don’t urge hiding legal evidence under the bed unless you want to affect the outcome of a legal proceeding. The President did so.” — Pat Roberts

    “By his words and deeds, he chose to place himself above the law. By his words and deeds, he has undermined the rule of law in America to the great harm of this nation. ” — Sam Brownback

    Spoiler Alert: They all said this — BUT IT WAS ABOUT BILL CLINTON..

  • Shoto
    • Nockular cavity

      I think I’ve seen this Star Trek episode.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Outer Limits or GTFO.

        • Khavrinen

          I was thinking more like Lilo & Stitch — without the mellowing influence of Lilo…

    • ManchuCandidate
  • SterWonk
    • Mary Sandoras

      Yeah, I tried to research this guy and the most I came up with is him and Comey threatened to resign if their warrantless tapping was going to be over turned by congress. Anybody got anything on Mueller?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Nope. He hates publicity.

      • Jukesgrrl

        In 2004 Justice head John Ashcroft was gravely ill in hospital. Comey, Mueller’s FBI deputy at the time, got word that Bush’s lawyer Alberto Gonzales and Andy Card, W’s chief of staff, were on their way to get Ashcroft to sign re-authorization for Bush’s post-9/11 domestic surveillance program. Comey alerted Mueller and the two rushed to the hospital to stand guard over Ashcroft. They thought they were witnessing an effort “to take advantage of a very sick man.” They succeeded in sending Gonzales and Card away. That, along with their threats to resign en masse with their staffs, was enough to stop Bush’s use of the NSA for completely warrantless eavesdropping of citizens at that time.
        http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/15/AR2007051500864.html

      • SterWonk

        From the radio tonight: The Democratic representatives from the San Francisco Bay Area — where Muller was a U.S. Attorney back in the day — seem to be pretty happy with his selection. He was confirmed 98-0 to be FBI Director under W. in 2001, and Obama kept him on past the end of his 10-year term, before he retired and Comey replaced him.

        From Wikipedia: When Alberto Gonzales and Andrew Card tried to get John Ashcroft to authorize warrantless wiretapping from the hospital, Mueller helped Comey make sure they didn’t get the chance to. He also oversaw the investigation into VW’s screwing with the emissions tests, and is overseeing distribution of payments from the Takata airbag fines.

  • Reximus
    • HorseChestnut

      They’re still happy with it, though. Trump voters are fucking still behind him.

      • Jukesgrrl

        Naw, they’re disappointed. But they’ll blame it on the media, immigrants, African-Americans, and “liebruls.” Their scapegoats couldn’t possibly be right about anything.

        • Three Finger Salute

          You forgot Jews — no matter what, they always blame the Jews. That whole parentheses thing is pretty common even on YouTube comment sections and Twitter. It functions as the keyboard equivalent of a yellow star badge. Didn’t we see this movie already and it wasn’t a very happy one?

      • artem1s

        could be that Twittler is about to find out how much his followers HATE following a loser cause it make them feel like the losers they are. when they turn, they will be vicious

    • Opalescent Riddles

      That works in Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka’s voice, but also too in Oprah’s voice.

  • Red-Eyes Ezio
    • Jennifer R

      Hah

    • h4rr4r

      Well if shooting is involved we win. Just like last time!

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Where’s the choice with a Confederate Flag with “Derpish (Redneck)”

    • Khavrinen

      Two nations divided by a common language…

    • Ωbjectifier

      Waz dat suppose ta mean?

  • major_asshole

    Just after seeing the news that there is now someone independent investigating this shitstorm, I read the document giving him his brief. At the bottom, Rosenstein signed as “Acting Attorney General”–which makes me ask did Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III resign? Or is Rosenstein acting AG only for this matter?

    • jowgajen

      Acting in this matter. Sessions recused himself here, which devolves his powers of office to Rosenstein in this matter.

    • The Wanderer

      The Elf on a Shelf recused himself from anything to do with the Russia probe.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Except firing the guy running that investigation. But that’s different, because reasons.

  • WiscoJoe

    So who gets the first presidential pardon? Ivanka?

    • Joe Beese

      She was always his favorite.

      • Rick Hill

        “What do you mean “He’s not going to give you one”?”
        Jared K.

    • Shoto

      I’d say that’s a solid bet.

  • Apple Scruff

    Watch the entire GOP magically find their spines now.

    TOO LATE, MOTHERFUCKERS!

    • NellCote71

      Yeah, we took names and have already begun to kick ass.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      And they rolled back internet privacy. Bahahahahahaha

  • Rick Hill

    So, has anyone wondered what the world would have been like if the French had won WWII?
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a4bypLd_460s.jpg

    • h4rr4r

      I would have expected more NAZI stuff, since the French at the time seemed to be fine with that.

    • Count Awesome

      Needz moar fromage!

    • janecita

      A lot happier, full of good bread, good cheese, champagne and chocolate!

  • La forza del resistino

    Put Donald on the stand. Guy cannot even give a commencement speech at a bible school without committing perjury.

    • Jukesgrrl

      LOL.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    So word is the investigation is directed at Flynn and Manafort. So will Trump remain Teflon Don?

    • Joe Beese

      They’ll rat, as long as they’re not more afraid of Putin than 20 years in federal prison.

      No G. Gordon Liddys in this bunch.

    • jesterpunk

      Start with the easy stuff first then work your way up.

    • Jukesgrrl

      The CRIMINAL investigation is starting with Flynn and Manafort. It could take a year or more, but what’s the hurry? The only thing we will get if this is concluded before 2019 is Pence and a Christianista Congress that will shove all its repressive agenda down our throats and confirm 100 right-wing judges.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Margaret Atwood has said in several interviews that she never thought her masterpiece The Handmaid’s Tale (which is now a series on Hulu) might someday end up being a prophetic warning of a very true future. With Pence in office, the chances of that happening are getting a lot closer. I think anyone in possession of a uterus needs to start packing and fleeing for the northern border before the whole country turns into Kansas.

  • h4rr4r

    Why No Special Prosecutor thread?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Exhaustion? And it may be coming.

      • h4rr4r

        Yeah, I am just as giddy as a schoolgirl.

        • BeachBum

          Damn I KNEW I went to the wrong school !

    • delete your account probably

      Why no Ryan-on-tape-covering-up-treason thread? Because it takes time to write the articles.

    • jesterpunk

      Might be because this thread turned into that also so far every night this week they have had to post a late thread for the newest crazy story.

      • h4rr4r

        It’s a tradition now.
        The OT thread must be the second to last one, forever more.

        • Or at least until Trump is out of office.

          • NellCote71

            So, Friday?

          • One can dream.

    • bluicebank

      The engines can’t handle it, captain!

      • h4rr4r

        Scotty, I need warp speed now!

      • BeachBum

        ” It’s all she can stands ! She kont stands no more.!”

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I can wait til tomorrow. Right now, I’m enjoying the show.

    • not_vh

      prosecutor is special, not the issue?

      • h4rr4r

        He is very special, he went after Gotti and got him. I bet he learned plenty about Trump during that little adventure.

  • WomanInThePersistence
  • not_vh

    complete OT.

    SOARING HEALTHCARE COSTS According to Dr. McClellan and the Commonwealth Fund,6 while the U.S. currently spends $2.4 trillion annually on healthcare (nearly 17% of GDP), by 2017, this number is expected to double to nearly $4.8 trillion. Currently, the entire world spends a total of $4.3 trillion on healthcare. While the U.S. represents only 5% of the world’s population, we spend more than 50% of the world’s healthcare dollars.

    Mind fucking boggling

    • jesterpunk

      Those yachts wont pay for themselves.

      • not_vh

        something seriously wrong with this.

        • jesterpunk

          We have a lot more middle men involved in health care then any other country. We have insurance companies who exist to make money and not pay out as much as possible, we have people who only try and get insurance companies to pay. We also have people who only are middle men between those other 2 groups. Basically eliminate all of those people leaving just doctors, nurses and pharmacists and our system would be a lot better.

          • BosGrl

            I’m taking a class in medical billing and coding right now. It is crazy.

          • jesterpunk

            My mom used to work in medical billing and coding, that was a pretty stressful job sometimes. Especially when she got something for someone she knew.

          • BosGrl

            I’ve typed medical records for people I knew and of course had to keep my mouth shut.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            I did utilization review (talking to insurance companies) for awhile before the change to ICD10. Gahhhh!

        • Rick Hill

          What? You think Drs who are multimillionaires are a bad thing?

          • msanthropesmr

            No – Doctors are NOT the problem. Even Marx described the doctor as a tool of the establishment – as well as lawyers.

          • Rick Hill

            They are part of the problem, though. Seriously, multimillionares for treating people is some type of violation of the Hyppocratic oath, if you ask me

    • Courser_Resistance

      We don’t even get better public health or outcomes out of it, either. Generally speaking we’re far from the healthiest country

  • WiscoJoe

    So at this point it looks like the best defense Republicans can come up with is that they’re a joke and nothing they say should be taken seriously.

    • La forza del resistino

      It’s been working for them since 1960.

  • bluicebank

    I’m just wondering who switched Karma’s decaf with Folger’s Crystals.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Ov course, I vould be pleezed to give your Congrez all Oval Office tapes we have since January 20.

    –Yur Pal, Vladimir

    • BeachBum

      Sorry, I gotta say it. When ya got a friend like Vladdy, ya don’t need no enjimees.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    So how long until Ryan and McCarthy come out with the “Locker room talk” defense?

    • WiscoJoe

      Well McCarthy concluded his comments with “swear to God” and Ryan added “No leaks…This is how we know we’re a real family here.”

      Unless this is a locker room for atheistic mobsters, not sure that defense will fly.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      They are trying the “we were just joking” excuse.

  • LadyLaz

    Omg. Could it be? Are the wheels actually coming off this sh!t show

  • Rick Hill

    So, idea for a new start up: Combination group therapy/bar to service conservative politicians

    • Vecchioivan

      No rent boys? I’d say that’s your big profit center.

      • Rick Hill

        Of course, it would be a full service bar for all the clients tastes.

    • snark-lurker

      open carry allowed

    • Jukesgrrl

      Wasn’t that what the C Street house was all about?

      • Rick Hill

        Yeah but this would have licensed therapists for all those poor conservatives who are so stressed at being *this close* to getting their wish list fullfilled yet worried they may be tied to this traitorous, lawless weasel in the WH

    • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

      Can we give them tree branches and start arguments about whose fault this is?

  • LadyLaz

    I feel like we must have broken disque again

    • Chris

      You know how Disqus usually shows if someone has liked or replied to your comments? It isn’t doing that right now. It’s like Disqus just went screw it, I’m going out for drinks.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        The interwebz have been overheated to the point a total server melt down for two days.

  • OrdinaryJoe
  • ken_kukec

    “President Trump and everyone in the Trump administration look forward to cooperating fully with former FBI director Mueller and to making a full and complete disclosure of all relevant materials so that this investigation can reach a just determination of the facts” — just shittin’, of course they don’t.

    • One technique would be to simply archive all of Trump’s tweets. Given his inability to control his tiny fingers, I’m sure he’ll be busily further incriminating himself in the near future.

      • mancityRed6

        considering the laws that say records have to be kept, they should be saving all his tweets.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I have the feeling that many, many people have saved these tweets. But yes, you are right.

    • Meccalopolis

      Cooperating witness or target

    • Sophia

      Did they give twitler back his phone today? Can’t wait for the tweets

  • Doug Langley

    Okay, don’t get your hopes up, but . . . Got in touch with one place today. Sent resume, chatted on phone, they want interview tomorrow. They’re moving fast, they need someone in two weeks time. It’s a summer camp, they need instructors, pay isn’t great but isn’t lousy. So wish me luck.

    • Good luck!

    • You don’t need no stinking luck because you’re the best for the job … but good luck anyway

    • Ωbjectifier

      This one time, at summer camp…

  • BadKitty904
  • Reximus

    Trump’s not going to stick around through this…that deferment foot spur will suddenly reappear

    • BeachBum

      That’s what I was thinking. I give him 6 to 12 months to resign for “health reasons”

      • Well, he’s a fat old man, that’s plausible… But you can still go to prison when you’re retired!

      • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

        If he waits that long, it won’t be voluntary.

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    Wikipedia is fast. Robert Mueller’s page has already been updated.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Mueller

  • Rick Hill

    So, incase it’s going under the radar, On Point today they were discussing…oh, my….what was it exactly? It slipped my…oh, yeah, they were talking about lawbreaking trump. One little bit that is slipped in by his defenders is that this whole thing is driven by one person’s desire for vengeance

    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      That person being Donnie himself, of course.

  • rebecca
    • Mary Sandoras

      Oh no, another shit burger?

    • Rick Hill

      You’re so funny…oh, wait….

    • Sophia

      You should buy a lottery ticket since you’re so good at calling this shit

      • Rick Hill

        Well, obviously she’s part of the Soros group that’s orchestrating this whole thing,

        • Jukesgrrl

          Hope she doesn’t expect to get paid. Still don’t have my $ for marching.

    • Marceline

      “Here is your open thread until what the fuck ever breaks in 15 minutes. Why did I make more coffee when it is clearly time for HEROIN?”

      I say this with no snark whatsoever: THANK YOU. Thanks to you and Dok and Robyn and Evan and every single one of you that keeps this site running. Thank you for your tireless work, your ability to mix ribald humor with incisive research, your willingness to go to parts of the internet I’m too much of a coward to venture into. Thank you for this virtual oasis/playroom/strip club/day care center/asylum. You are appreciated more than words can say.

      (It’s not heroin but it’s the best I have to offer.)

      • BeachBum

        Well said !

      • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

        This shit is crazy and teh Wonkette is a window to sanity and the knowledge that there are people out there that see this shit show for what it is helps me deal with it. The snark and humor are quite therapeutic.
        I’m sure you know heroin is terrible, but delta9tetracannabinoil numbs the pain a bit and encourages the giggles that we all need.

  • Sophia
    • La forza del resistino

      Clarke will likely order her home tossed looking for missing office supplies.

      • willi0000000

        arrest (and beat) first . . . then search.

  • La forza del resistino

    Hi Bob Mueller, I have experience with the Watergate thing, have free time to lend help and my ax needs a little sharpening..
    – Hillary C.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    It’s going to be a crowded field this year…
    https://media.makeameme.org/created/you-get-a-591cdb.jpg

    • hendenburg2

      Not worth it. She’ll stick you with the tax bill for them

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Think Rosenstein did NOT appreciate that bus he was shoved under? And that maybe the FBI and other intelligence agencies may have a wee bit of a grudge?

    Funny that.

  • Red-Eyes Ezio

    Ya know guys, Donald Trump isn’t the only bombastic douche from Queens who has been investigated by Robert Mueller… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c65e3abc7e8e90b32b148648bc04efcb3ddfb4df2482a1d3fa81aabdb380489b.jpg

    • Ωbjectifier

      So who plays Sammy the Bull in this sequel?

    • Suse

      Drumpf is Teflon Don II.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    Fuck!!! Just found it they cancelled Lawrence O’Donnell’s show. I’m so fucking upset over this.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Really? JFC.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        No, sorry! Someone tweeted that, but it’s not true. I should have checked first. Sorry for the false alarm.

  • bluicebank

    In other news, Israel’s Mossad is hopping mad at Donnie.

    http://www.latimes.com/world/middleeast/la-fg-israel-trump-russia-20170517-story.html

  • pussygrabber in chief
  • hendenburg2

    Okay seriously, we should probably just start delaying the Open Thread post for another hour or two.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    In ten years you will remember where you were today when you heard the news.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      In my car, right after work. Like every other day this week. What a fucking shitshow this week has been.

    • BeachBum

      And the resignation !

    • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

      at work. Imma hafta cook up a better story than that. Prolly involve Wonkette, at least.

    • puredog

      While that is touching and soaringly inspirational, the reality is that I won’t remember tomorrow.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Put the vodka bottle down….

  • WomanInThePersistence

    A former FBI agent is on MSNBC right now. And apparently Mueller is very well respected by the agents.

    And also too, there was a banner that Chaffetz said Mueller is a great choice.

    Chaffetz can eat a bag of salted rat Dickson, as far as I’m concerned.

    • Rick Hill

      I think he’s playing the odds that this is the beginning of the end and he wants to be at the lead of calling out trump to position himself for a future WH run

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I’m starting to think that if it looks like it’s inevitable, the rats are going to try to make it go quickly, before the Speaker changes.

        • agnosticsdonthatemuch

          I read a little bit on “@Jasoninthehouse”!
          Seems he has a bad habit of screwing over the people who have helped him. The even have a phrase for it:
          “You’ve been Chaffetzed!”

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Well, he owes his career to his father’s first wife, his big brother’s mom, Kitty Dukakis, who got him a job on her husband’s campaign (but did not offer to send him to Brown). So, you can imagine the older wives of Democratic politicians issues.

    • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

      with wombat jizz vinaigrette

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Bob Mueller is a personal friend of Comey. He is the one who put Comey up for the FBI job. But it’s not personal. Oh fuck it. It is personal. All politics is personal.

  • Rachel Book Harlot
    • BosGrl

      Fucking hell. Has everyone signed all the petitions and sent emails? If not, get on it!!!

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        1000 up votes for your comment!

      • eggsacklywright

        I done did it.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Big winners today are the Rethugs in the House and Senate. Now they can step back and wash their hands of any investigation so they don’t have to stonewall.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • BosGrl

      WHOA

      • OrdinaryJoe

        W.T.F????

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Charming, yes? And they’re such a pack of second-rate hacks.

    • RobKanC

      I can actually feel the contempt and sexism just reading that.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        It’s almost as if when our public life started to switch over to being a full employment system for useless nephews with fungible moral compasses and the girls with whom they hang it didn’t end well.

    • bluicebank

      That’s amateur hour. Way back a a cub reporter, the chief of police was pissed at me because I published some stuff on him the police union gave me. He threatened to never cooperate with me again. I just shot back, “But you never did in the first place.” One would think a cop would know to see if he had any bullets in his gun.

    • delete your account probably

      holy crap

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      You mean “hack,” not “flak,” right?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        These. People. I guess.

    • miss_grundy

      I hope Michelle Kosinski finds a way of kicking this Trump flunky in the nards so hard that he will be sterile for the rest of his life without benefit of votes.

  • Rachel Book Harlot
    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      Think someone’ll take that as a challenge?

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Gorgeous! River valley?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Ayup. We’ve been having some dispirited sunsets, but it decided to put on a show today.

  • DensityDestiny

    Anyone want to lay odds Trump doesn’t come back from his trip, voluntarily or involuntarily?

    • Jukesgrrl

      Saudi Arabia doesn’t have an extradition treaty with the U.S.

      • BosGrl

        They opened a golf resort in Dubai, so…

        • Three Finger Salute

          I thought Dubai was one giant sand trap.

    • sw19wilson

      sw19housemate suggested to me tonight that if it’s the Israelis that Trump fucked over on the intel, then he may well be numbered, in one form or another.
      She was stationed over there for a while with the Navy (UK).

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      My mom thinks the CIA is going to assassinate him if he continues to put the country in jeopardy. Exploding KFC instead of cigars?

      • Doug Langley

        Oh yeah, they have such a great track record of that. (google: Castro, Fidel)

        • Three Finger Salute

          I think the reason why people got so up in arms about when some leaders (Trudeau especially, but also Corbyn, who nobody really pays attention to because he’s not a head of government and is generally dismissed as a crank — kind of like Sanders) gave what was considered an overly fawning eulogy for Castro was that, to coin a phrase, he was a son of a bitch, but he wasn’t our son of a bitch. (Leftover Cold War animosity, I suppose.)

          Ariel Sharon started Israel’s literally world-destroying nuclear program (Samson Option) and was mooned over by everyone — including Obama. We’re “allies” with Saudi Arabia and it’s only to paint Islam itself with a broad brush that anyone ever brings up their human rights abuses. And then of course, Trump is BFF with Putin, ’nuff said. Can we just accept that Castro was a complicated person with a complicated legacy who meant different things to different people?

          I never thought the alt-right trolls were such assholes as to rehash birtherism in fucking Canada. They started a meme that Trudeau is really Castro’s son, based on a faulty timeline of Pierre and Margaret’s 1976 state visit to Havana, keyboard douchebros’ slut-shaming of Maggie, and a case of mistaken identity about a baby in the official photograph — way to abuse the memory of the late brother, Michel.

          Some Breitbart or Infowars hack with a either a pirated version of Photoshop or just Microsoft Paint even made a really bad picture of Justin (in a photo ca. 2013 with the long hair), wearing Che Guevara’s hat (a maple leaf replaces the red star), and started hocking it as T shirts, bumper stickers, etc., on Etsy or something. With a little help from the usual vultures at Rebel Media and none other than Billo the Clown fanning the flames, “Castrogate,” aka “Fidel Duddle,” briefly caused his approval numbers to plummet to a WTF low of like 20% (!!!).

          But when it was pointed out that Michel was the baby in the photograph, and not Justin, things only got worse: hordes of them started flooding Trudeau’s YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook pages with, “The wrong Trudeau died! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO BELONGS AT THE BOTTOM OF A CLIFF, YOU COMMUNIST POS!” Awful, just awful!

          American worldviews tend to dominate the global landscape, as Pierre said about the “elephant in the room” (or the bed). Nobody talks about how we propped up Batista or that Castro sent troops to help out in Angola and apparently even tried to spring Mandela from jail. Or that Marxism itself grew out of a desperation that the poor people had from being exploited and oppressed by monarchs, robber barons, and especially Western colonial powers. Or that Cuba actually has more female representation in its legislature than even Canada does (!!!)

          Communism was horrible, but knee-jerk reactions don’t take into account the context in which it was allowed to flourish. Or what can be done to learn our lessons from it and make things a little fairer for people so that it doesn’t happen again. Then again, laissez-faire capitalism hasn’t been great either for the ones left behind. Neither has neocon “soft” imperialism, like the “regime change” practices we’ve undertaken in Latin America and elsewhere for their “sin” of siding with the “godless” USSR. Reagan and the CIA even armed Bin Laden against the Soviets because he thought they were “good people of faith.” But Castro was the devil incarnate?!?

    • DensityDestiny

      Ok, so five of five agree that “diplomatic travel” could be code for “save me, Vlad!!!!”. Good to know.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    This reminds me of 1972 when Nixon used a China trip to deflect attention from the Watergate investigation. I guaranty he will do something crazy while he is away.

    • BosGrl

      He merely has to open his mouth.

    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      He hasn’t yet? Slacker.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I have an idea. He can go tour Gitmo for the spot for his next hotel.

      …and then Raul locks the door and throw away the key.

  • Suse

    Will wonders never cease? ALEX JONES (HOST): During the week of April 10, 2017, certain statements were made on the InfoWars twitter feed and Youtube channel regarding Chobani LLC that I now understand to be wrong. The tweets and video have now been retracted and will not be reposted. On behalf of Infowars, I regret that we mischaracterized Chobani, its employees, and the people of Twin Falls, Idaho, the way we did.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      That sounds very sincere. I would say “from the heart”, but that assumes a fact not in evidence.

    • sw19wilson

      Alex Jones forced to apologise to yogurt.

    • delete your account probably

      What the ever-living fuck did he have against yogurt? I never worked that out

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        I guess he found it too messy during his “alone times.”

        • delete your account probably

          boom

      • miss_grundy

        Not the yogurt. The yogurt company owner. The guy is a foreigner.

    • Thiazin Red

      Did they allow him to do that instead of giving them a bunch of money? That sounds like a legally required apology.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    No Rethugs on TV tonight, only Dems. Looks like the Cons ran for the bunkers.

    • BosGrl

      There is some guy on Tucker Carlson blaming the WH staff, saying they aren’t letting Trump be Trump.

      • Suse

        Whether I’m right or whether I’m wrong
        Whether I find a place in this world or never belong
        I gotta be me, I’ve gotta be me
        What else can I be but what I am?

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Because if they had done that the impeachment hearings would be starting next week.

      • wait! what?

        That’s what happens when a virus is identified and not allowed to spread:

        Resistance

      • miss_grundy

        Uhhhhh, Trump has been Trump all along. That guy on Faux News is probably from the hinterlands because New Yorkers are not surprised by his “unpresidential” behavior.

  • Pookabun

    You guys, I quit smoking 3 weeks ago! After 35 years! Just felt the need to announce it and also to wonder why I did that when this is the most cigarette-needy time ever in the world.

    • BosGrl

      That is GREAT!

    • Suse

      Good for you!

      • Pookabun

        My kitty says hi to your kitty!

        • Suse

          Hi from my kitty to yours!

    • Yr. Gma

      It’s not easy, I know. I was a smoker in my youth (well, just about everybody was then) and stopping was hard. Good for you.

      • Pookabun

        I remember being in the hospital with ashtrays on the nightstands. With oxygen in the room. Smoking while talking with the doctors. That might have been a little while ago :D

        • RobespierreHoo

          Smoking while talking with doctors who were smoking. “Chesterfields-Not a Cough in a Car Load”.

    • puredog

      Good luck! (insert Mark Twain joke here)

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Good for you. I quit 30 years ago. I still keep a jar of root beer barrel candy on my desk to help me fight off that shadowy gnawing feeling to light one up. But it does get easier, just never fully goes away.

      • artem1s

        I keep gum in the car for the same reason.

    • Chris

      Congratulations. As a smoker I know just exactly how hard that is.

    • artem1s

      good for you! you can make it. think of it as the ultimate quitting test. It will just get easier after this

    • SeeTrain65

      Every time is the most cigarette-needy time ever for a quitter. Believe me.

      I just hope you don’t do what I did … EAT MORE.

      Seriously, I ballooned from 220 lbs. to 320 in a matter of years, until my body told me in no uncertain terms, “Stop, or I’ll kill you.”

      I know it’s a cliche, but take it one day at a time and I swear you’ll get through it.

      • Pookabun

        To your first statement – I know but Trump! I feel like we should all get awards for not having wine, brownies and marlboros for dinner every night. To the rest, I am hungry ALL of the time but not really allowing indulgence except for a few extra apples or whatever. My husband gained 50 pounds or so when he quit and frankly, I can’t afford a whole new wardrobe! It’s not making it any easier though. :(

        • SeeTrain65

          You do make an excellent point: If you have to eat, eat healthy.

          Don’t do it the SeeTrain way, box after box of Hostess Twinkies and Ding Dongs.

          Also, don’t quit the SeeTrain way, but getting an appendectomy.

  • Apple Scruff

    Kremlin Klan! You go, Maxine!!!

  • Chris

    Aunt Maxine is just going off on MSNBC. Not quite up to her ‘no honor’ comments after a closed door meeting but, pretty close.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Go Maxine! Lay some whup ass down!

  • Apple Scruff
  • Suse

    Barney Frank!

  • Turgid Love Skwerl

    http://money.cnn.com/2017/05/17/media/new-york-times-washington-post-rivalry/index.html

    ‘Locked in battle’: Times and Post in an epic race for the truth

    • The Wanderer

      The Post has history on its side (Watergate), the Times wants a piece of The Big Apple’s bete noire.

  • BosGrl

    This guy talking to Chris Hayes right now has amazing hair.

  • Turgid Love Skwerl

    New yooo toobe link for MSNBC: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_uDuP6AKUo

    • MynameisBlarney

      Thank you posting this.

    • MynameisBlarney

      LAWRENCE IS BACK!

  • I just had a bear walk into my yard and stand up on his hind legs while I died from cuteness.

    I had to tell someone.

    • MississippiLefty

      But aren’t you scared though? I mean, if you surprised one another in the dark it might not go well for you…

      • I am madly in love with bears. I can’t help it. My chickens, donkey, pig, and cats were all standing there and he ambled right up to a tree before he saw me. I know I shouldn’t have, but when he turned and lumbered off, I ran after him. Their feet are the cutest things and I just wanted to see him for as long as I could.
        My hounds never made a peep.

        • yyyaz

          Please, please, enjoy but do not feed. It ALWAYS will end badly.

          • EXCELLENT advice! I leave no attractants out for any wildlife. I don’t feed the birds even, but I live on a river so I get to see eagles, ospreys, hawks and waterfowl. We see bobcats and coyotes, but seeing a bear is an extra special treat. I never tell my neighbors what I see, since they don’t share the same appreciation.

        • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

          Your dogs ain’t stupid!

    • The Wanderer

      The best I can get here are bunnies and the occasional squirrel.

      • Honestly, I die when I see wild bunnies, too. And chipmunks (we don’t have squirrels). Something about seeing a wild critter just blows me away. I’ll never ever get over it.

        • The Wanderer

          In the wilds south of my workplace we have deer, wild hogs, rabbits, turtles, and gators. Red-tailed hawks, ospreys, and bald eagles.

          • Nice!!

          • The Wanderer

            One guy caught a soft-shelled turtle about 2 feet across. Made good eating.

          • I could never eat a turtle.

    • Yr. Gma

      Well, I’m glad it was the cuteness that killed you…

      • Ferroequinologist Ron

        Far less painful than, say, being mauled by a bear.

      • He was completely non-aggressive, but I know they’re not all as timid as that. 😊

  • Jamoche
    • CripesAmighty

      Ahahaha! Presidential trolling par excellence.

    • BosGrl

      He’s enjoying this.

      • yyyaz

        I hope so. I know I am.

      • Bobo the Dork Boy

        He ain’t the only one.

  • fauxpinky

    I’ve been reading today that part of Andy Lack’s desire to oust Lawrence O’Donnell stems from his wanting to put his buddy, Brian “guided by the beauty of our weapons” Williams into the The Last Word’s10pm slot. If Lack is also trying to remove the MSNBC president Phil Griffin, I hope Maddow and Co. follow Griffin right out the door. It’s obvious the pressure is coming down from Comcast, through NBC/UNI for another All-Trump-All-The-Time network.

    • BosGrl

      Grrrrr

    • yyyaz

      And right now the relief, even mirth, is palpable with Chris Hayes and his guests. Maxine Waters even smiled. Cannot overstate how fucking depraved corporate Merka is — side-eyeing you, Comcast.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I’m beside myself over this. We can’t lose Lawrence.

  • MynameisBlarney

    I need someone with a bigger brain than I have to help me figure out how to help Anna.
    Paypal is out.
    She doesn’t want her birth name made public.

    I got nuthin…

    • Jamoche

      Gofundme? Beg our gracious hosts to organize something?

      • BosGrl

        I think that would be the thin edge of the wedge for them.

        • Jamoche

          Regretsy used to do similar things; IIRC they’d use one of the usual methods and just act as the middleman.

      • Yr. Gma

        That is a bad idea. Wonkette is not a social services organization, and if they do it for one, etc., etc.

    • BosGrl

      There’s no way we can send her money through PayPal without her name being on it? She can’t do a user name and an email without her name on it?

      • MynameisBlarney

        I don’t know. But I’ll ask her.

        • BosGrl

          I mean, when I’ve used PayPal to send money to Wonkette, it doesn’t say Rebecca’s name on it I don’t think… Anybody know?

          • The receipt do I think, in the emails, but I use Amazon pay so it may be different

          • Yr. Gma

            It says Wonkette.

          • BosGrl

            That’s what I thought. I think you can set up PayPal so that your personal info is private to someone sending you money.

        • MynameisBlarney

          I’ve never even tried to do anything like this, so I have no fucking idea how to go about setting up something like this.

          • What about putting it under you and cutting her a check or money order?

          • MynameisBlarney

            I thought about that.
            But I didn’t think anyone would be down with trusting me with that kind of responsibility.

          • Are you an untrustworthy sort?
            Edit: If you do it through the amazon thing like wonkette do I can contribute a few sheckles ^.^ Just sayin

          • MynameisBlarney

            No, I don’t think so.
            I’m just worried about fucking up.
            Working with my dad and brother, they give me the impression I can’t do anything right.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Think we may go with Patreon actually.
            But I have to run it past Anna first of course.

    • Jamoche

      I knew copperbadge would have something useful: a list of fundraising website resources
      http://copperbadge.dreamwidth.org/913258.html

    • Yr. Gma

      Are you sure she’d be okay with asking for money?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yes, she said so last night.
        She needs help.
        And I feel compelled to do what I can to help her help herself.

        • Ferroequinologist Ron

          You have a damned good heart, you know that?

          I can’t do a whole lot but I’ll gladly help any way I can. The PayPal thing is, IIRC, quite easy; the sender only knows the email address, and the chosen username. I’ve been assuming she has one because of her model-building – a lot of online hobby stores use PayPal.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yeah…thanks…I’m a big softy, lol.
            My mom and grandparents taught me that helping folks was a good thing.
            I’ll talk to her more in depth about the paypal thingy.

          • BosGrl

            Good soul. Let us know when we can help.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I’m just trying to help a better soul. And I will, thank you.

          • Rachel Book Harlot

            I’ll chip in as well. Let me know where to send it.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Will do, and thanks.

          • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

            Me too. At least we can help her get a pay-as-you-go phone–you can actually get one for free, and get double minutes and really it doesn’t cost that much, at least she’d have it for an emergency.

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

            If she’s on food stamps, she qualifies for a free phone. I don’t know who handles it in her area, but Safe Link is one I had for a while.

          • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

            Yes, exactly. It’s hard to take care of all that when you’re not doing well emotionally, but I hope she can get some help. There IS help out there, there are some social services–if she lives in a big enough city, they will have some kind of safety net, I would think….

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

            Send along my best wishes.

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      I solve problems for a living. What’s the problem? What does she need? Why? What constraints is she dealing with right now?

      • MynameisBlarney

        She has PTSD. She is on food stamps. She has no phone.
        She needs financial help for starters.
        She doesn’t want her birth name made public.
        I have to try to help and I don’t know how.

        • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

          She doesn’t want her real name to be used, right? She does have an email address and access to a computer, right?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yes to all points.

          • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

            Disqus crapped out on me.

          • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

            Sending money to someone without using their real name is complicated. There are all sorts of laws and regulations to force people to identify themselves in financial transactions. What if we send her stuff instead of money? She could setup an account on Amazon and create a wish list with the things she needs, we buy what we can for her and Amazon delivers to the address of her choice. Would that work?

          • MynameisBlarney

            I was thinking she could sell her models, but never send them.

          • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

            She has a merchant account on Amazon? That would work. We buy and she keeps them. That’s a great idea. No one has to send money to anyone other than her via Amazon or whatever outlet she sells through.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I don’t know that she does. but I’ll damn sure bring it up to her.

          • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

            Please do and keep us posted. She needs to give us a way to send her money via a trusted third-party that knows who she is. It’s he easiest, safest way to do it. Stuffing cash in an envelope and sending it to a P.O. Box won’t work.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Agreed. I’ll do my best.

          • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

            There’s always Patreon. Maybe she could set up an account there and we can become her patrons. Lots of artists do that and it works well.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yes. YES! That’s fucking brilliant actually!

          • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño
          • MynameisBlarney

            We just gotta make sure not to send her too much money, because, IRS.
            I’d hate to think that we’d help so much that she’d end up in trouble with the tax man.

          • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

            I’m sure there’s a way to handle that. The Patreon community must have figured that out already.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Hell yeah, we’ll sort this shit out!
            Thank you so much!

          • David Chaillou

            I may be a bit dense but i haven’t seen where/how I can contribute yet. Is an Amazon or patreon or whatever account forthcoming, or did I miss something?

          • MynameisBlarney

            We haven’t quite progressed that far yet.
            Soon though. And thanks.

  • Jamoche

    Wait, what? MSNBC “We’re just establishing the body that was called for in the 25th Amendment.”

    • The Wanderer

      They may be talking about Section 4, Clause 1:

      “Whenever the Vice President and a majority of either the principal
      officers of the executive departments or of such other body as Congress
      may by law provide, transmit to the President pro tempore of the Senate
      and the Speaker of the House of Representatives their written
      declaration that the President is unable to discharge the powers and
      duties of his office, the Vice President shall immediately assume the
      powers and duties of the office as Acting President.”

      • Incoming Ham

        They need to do a vertical cleanout of anyone Trump appointed. None of them are trustworthy.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    You GOT some heroin, Trix?
    Asking for a friend.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Don’t do the heroin! That shit’s worse than Trump! Trump can be impeached. Heroin is in it for the long haul. Speaking as the friend.

  • Nounverb911

    I was incommunicado all day, is Pence preznit yet?

    • The Wanderer

      Not yet.

    • yyyaz

      Maybe by 3 a.m. EDT.

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    What’s gonna happen to O’Donnell?

    • The Wanderer

      I heard somewhere that his contract was renewed.

      • yyyaz

        That would be good.

        • Parakeetist

          I wrote to that Lack feller, asking him to keep Lawrence. Lawrence is cool.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      We don’t know yet. :( He said he’s still in talks.

  • yyyaz

    Douthat talking 25th…turn out the lights, the party’s over.

    • Three Finger Salute

      You know you’re not winning anymore (not that he ever was) when Ross Douchehat, NYT’s resident expert on Catholic guilt, admits you’re certifiable.

  • BeverlyCrusher’sWig

    Completely off topic but I was googling “eyebrow wigs” as its trending and it took me to this article from 2011 on Wonkette. So basically full circle. Ahead of the curve.

    https://wonkette.com/454808/fashion-update-ron-paul-possibly-wearing-eyebrow-wigs

  • BosGrl
    • SeeTrain65

      HE IS THE SWAMP, YOU FUCKING SHITWEASEL TOADY!

      Just had to get that out.

      • Al Swearengen

        I can’t hear Sean over the flapping of his gills.

    • Jamoche

      He left off #6: Donnie himself.

      • Al Swearengen

        #6 is The Law.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Makes me wonder if Shamity is in the tank with Russian money as well.

      • Greyhame

        He does seem to be taking sides against pretty much the rest of the country with that tweet storm. Gee, maybe Hannity & friends are not the Real America after all.

    • janecita

      Dear Lord, what a whiny, little bitch!

    • Me not sure

      Hannity knows that if his gig at Fox goes south that he can do ringside interviews on WWE. That’s called job security, sister.

    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      Somebody needs a time-out in his room.

    • Incoming Ham

      Hannity hasn’t studied much history and isn’t paying much attention. Trump throws everyone under the bus eventually, and his day will come. Sociopathic autocrats do things like kill their servants and relatives, make their horses senators, and declare war on the sea. Trump is working his way down the list.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I’m still cranky about the bad history teachers I had in my youth, because I wasted years not realizing that history is the accumulation of really good stories and fathomless mountains of dirt. Perspective! Yay!

        • Three Finger Salute

          If you haven’t already, pick up a copy of James Loewen’s Lies My Teacher Told Me. AKA “Everything you Always Wanted to Know About the Smiling Face of American Imperialism, but Didn’t Learn in Kindergarten and Were Afraid to Ask.”

    • Dazza

      Goodness, Sean. Calm down. Are you displacing anxiety and anger because you’re afraid that a former female staffer(s) is about to sue you for sexual harassment? I’ll wait for Gabe Sherman’s next big scoop. ‘Cause you know it’s coming, Sean – and you are frantic about it.

  • Rick Hill

    You guys are still here? I stopped over to smoke one before I head back to Evan’s post

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Yep. Sometimes I also need a break from the madness.

    • BosGrl

      Hi! I’ve been going back and forth.

      • Rick Hill

        So much fun tonight.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Can we chitchat in the other thread? I thought this was the open thread? What to do, what to do? I don’t want to break any rules. You’re a bad influence, Rick.

  • SeeTrain65

    Just a thought: Wouldn’t it piss Donny off even more if people referred to him not as a “Cheeto” but as “Nacho Cheese?”

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    Lawrence O’ Donnell called the special prosecutor thing last night.

  • MynameisBlarney

    I just wanna say… I love all you fargin bastages!
    Y’all are all really good fuckin people.
    Damn onion ninjas.

    • janecita

      Are you already drunk?
      The feeling is mutual darling:-)

      • MynameisBlarney

        I’m not drunk, I’m just drinkin’.

    • BosGrl

      You are a good fuckin person. When you talk to Anna, please let her know how much we care about her.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Opinion Ninjas !!!

  • janecita

    We all know that Trump is a vindictive asshole, I’m hoping that when he eventually goes down, he takes Pence with him. Pence is a true fanatic, he scares the living hell out of me.

    • Smibo

      I can’t decide which dystopian nightmare is worse; “President Trump”, “President Pence” or “President Ryan”.

      • janecita

        They are all equally awful.

        • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

          Just my two cents, though–it’s important to take into account the context in which he’d become president–Trump would have been pushed out involuntarily, probably raging as he went. So then Pence would also have to reckon with:
          1. He was never elected President. .
          2. He does not have the weird cult of personality that Trump has. He fails to understand that what Trump appeals to is angry losers who are bewildered at their situation, don’t have enough education to understand it, are too lazy to want to gain the education or a useful set of skills–it’s utterly rhapsodic for them to suddenly feel “BETTER” and “GREAT” and “it’s not my fault–it’s THOSE OTHER PEOPLE!” and “the King will come and fix everything for us.” They don’t have to do anything. They’re given an easy answer. They can STICK it to all those smartypants who think they’re better than us! BUILD THE WALL! That’s what it all means. That’s what’s so alluring to them, and add to that Trump’s colorful bluster, which has some simple appeal–that’s why they can’t let it go. But Pence? With his waspish, colorless, hateful meanness? This isn’t what they want.
          3. So, Pence will not only have us strongly opposed to him, but ALSO, all the Trump supporters, enraged, and angry at him, and will have to deal with them, also, constantly. People just hate him.
          4. He will just have watched a President be pushed out–which would deeply weaken him.
          5. If people will actually get out and fucking vote/volunteer/canvas/supervise/take to polls etc etc, we will make inroads in the disastrous Republican House in 2018.

          Anyway, I can dream. Even if it ends up having to about Orren Hatch OH MY GOD>

          • Three Finger Salute

            Someone needs to start a petition to the Canadian government to stage an emergency takeover of Washington D.C.

            “We’re soory about that whole thing in 1776. And that other thing in 1812. And… whatever that thing with the dairy maids and the lumberjacks was. We want to be part of the Commonwealth again. A female head of state and a Disney Prince as head of government. Please, pretty please, with maple syrup on top?”

          • Lori

            #2 is definitely true, but I don’t think #3 is. The thing you’re leaving out of your calculation is the giant orgasm Right Wing Evangelicals would have over having one of their own in the Oval Office. They would literally, no joking about it say that God had placed him there and use his becoming President to justify their support of Trump. “This is all part of God’s plan to MAGA. Trump was never meant to be President, he was only the means for raising Pence to lead America back to the Lord.”

          • BeachBum

            He could pick up some support that way. But also lose independents and Dems who don’t want his religious views turned into public policy.

          • Three Finger Salute

            We went from a pro wrestler to a fucking televangelist.

            If there is a god, he needs to send that Rapture thingy like, yesterday.

          • redblack

            right?! once the nutbags depart for heaven, the rest of us can get down to some serious drinking and debauchery.

          • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

            Yes, there is that. I agree with that. I just meant there are also these other aspects to take into considerations. I’m not sure the Evangelicals actually represent as much of the population as we think; I’d say a ton of Trump supporters are not Evangelical, just liked the siren song of feeling better than everyone else.

          • Lori

            That may be true. “Evangelical” is a slippery label, especially in the context of politics.

          • Amy!

            Yeah. Gerald Ford could manage it, post-Nixon, because he hadn’t been part of the campaign, because he was well-liked (if not particularly respected) in Congress, and because he was obviously and without pretense a nice guy (if not particularly outstanding in any area). The nice guy, who had no skin in the game and nothing to hide, could pardon the Bad Dude (it was still prolly a mistake). He could soothe everyone, and he could work with Congress (which was majority opposition). A good caretaker to recover from the trauma of a wildly painful scandal, accompanied by major economic upsets and ongoing racial and social tension.

            Pence: complicit (head of the transition team, no less), disliked when he was in Congress and hated in his own state where he was projected to lose if he ran for re-election, and obviously a pretentious, nasty, self-righteous asshole for anyone who isn’t his particular brand of fundamentalist bigot. If he tries to pardon, that will likely tag him as guilty and reproduce the uproar; if he doesn’t the uproar will continue and be exacerbated by a needy-greedy own-party Congress desperate to use his signing hand while they have the chance. An abrasive, polarizing figure with no gift of diplomacy and unable to escape the scandal, lacking even the trumpian stick of an engaged base of support.

            Good. Fuck him.

          • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

            Brilliantly put! I agree 100%.

          • BeachBum

            I agree. I cant see Pence having the outsider and cult appeal of Trump. If he pardons anybody he’s done for.

          • Jukesgrrl

            Hell, he’ll probably be welcomed with more of that “we have to let the new guy have a fair chance” shit I heard all throughout January and February.

        • Smibo

          And each one is more awful than the others, in his own special way. Ugh.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Where’s Kiefer Sutherland when you really need him?

        • redblack

          safely entombed in the past, i hope.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Lol, I was referring to that show where Congress gets attacked during the State of the Union and he’s the last one down the list of succession to become president. I think it got cancelled. First I heard of the plot, I thought it’d make a good comedy. Like, what if the only one left is the janitor, and he does a better job than Trump?

            Then I realized that’d be a TV remake of Being There, and the last thing we want is another creatively bankrupt remake. Nobody can fill the shoes of Peter Sellers. And nobody better try.

        • phoenix00

          Damn it!

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Waiting for the Republican Congressional Leadership to comment on the appointment of a Special Counsel to investigate Putingate.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/O38dU2kkQ9sWc/giphy.gif

  • janecita

    Is Trump twitting already?

    • BosGrl

      Jared Kushner must have yanked the phone out of his hand and stomped on it.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Probably Ivanka. Rumor mill says he’s decided to make Jared the patsy on Comey.

        • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

          Uh Oh; Ivanka will withhold the pussy for months!

          • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

            NEED MOAR BRAIN BLEACH

        • Three Finger Salute

          She went to Jared!

  • Al Swearengen

    This probably doesn’t make Meuller lean towards Ol’ Can’t-remember-which-ankle-had-the-bone-spurs-that-kept-him-out-of-the-draft. I mean, outside of publicly railroading and shaming his good friend Comey.:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Mueller

    Mueller enlisted in the United States Marine Corps in 1968, attending officer candidate school, Army Ranger School and Army jump school.[8] He then served as an officer leading a rifle platoon of the 3rd Marine Division during the Vietnam War;[2] he eventually became aide-de-camp to 3rd Marine Division’s commanding general.[8] He received the Bronze Star, two Commendation Medals, the Purple Heart and the Vietnamese Cross of Gallantry.[2]

    • phoenix00

      An actual Purple Heart? Not the one that Trump’s always wanted?

  • OrdinaryJoe

    I’m off to meet BoyJoe for dinner with his mother. Given the news of day, many gimlets will be consumed. God may bless America but we are counting on Meuller to save the damn Republic.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Enjoy! Also too, ” Help us, Meuller! You’re our only hope! Literally, dude. It’s all over if you fuck this up.”

      • Jukesgrrl

        I read today that Mueller is a member of the law firm that Manafort hired. That’s not good news. If he doesn’t resign isn’t that a conflict of interest?

        • Lynn A Myers

          Mueller has already resigned from his law firm job.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        What really made the work of Cox and Jaworski was their ability to attract and hire top level staff. Jezzuz they had talent that was so deep. Mueller will be able to build that kind of staff.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I read that as Boy George. ha! Have fun. :)

      • Red State Pinko

        Boy George has the same birthday as DJT! And me! And the flag! Astrology really does work!

        • Three Finger Salute

          Another connection: Boy George was also a contestant on the Arnold version of The Apprentice. I liked Culture Club, but I’m actually glad The Apprentice is off the air, because I’m sick of celebrity reality shows anyway.

          • SeeTrain65

            And ABC is bringing American Idol back.

            What did we ever do to you, ABC?

          • Lori

            Failed to turn their replacement for Idol into a ratings juggernaut.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Ryan Seacrest (exec producer of Idol) also replaced Michael Strahan on the Kelly Ripa show. Everyone on that franchise has always been annoying as fuck. (Some of the guest hosts after Strahan’s departure were worth watching. Josh Groban and Fred Savage were, of course, adorable as always. But they don’t really count as part of the REGIS!!!! and Kathie Me/Kelly “Helium Girl” Ripa dynasty.)

            I almost wish the world had ended in 2012, because Dick Clark died and it was damn certain that there would be no more good New Year’s Eves with the Human Ken Doll taking over at the helm. I blame that guy for unleashing the monstrosity that is the Kardashian empire on the world. (He’s exec producer of that too.)

          • SeeTrain65

            I have a hard enough time crossing through a room where my mother is watching The Voice or The Bachelor or any other of those awful shows without reaching for the nearest 10-inch chef’s knife. Phony sincerity doesn’t sit well with me, and this fool is the king of it. Never liked the little prick, never will.

          • Three Finger Salute

            All the cable networks (and some OTA) are false advertising now too.

            No arts or entertainment on A&E.

            No learning on TLC.

            Nothing to discover on the Discovery Channel.

            No history on the History Channel.

            No music on MTV.

            No video hits, not even one, on VH1.

            PBS isn’t public (it’s Koch funded, with the table scraps picked up by “Viewers Like You”), and it has almost nothing to broadcast.

            Nothing to say “Bravo” about on Bravo.

            No movies, let alone classics, whether American or not, on AMC.

            And last but certainly not least —

            No news on Fox News.

          • SeeTrain65

            And no entertainment on E!

    • BeachBum

      Gimlet sounds real classy. Have 1 for me.

  • Jamoche
  • Rachel Book Harlot

    In regards to the special prosecutor, here’s my thing: apparently, he is going to report to Rosenstein. He also won’t go public with his findings, instead submitting a confidential report to Rosenstein. To me this is very worrisome. Rosenstein is himself dirty.

    • SisterArtemis

      The investigation is young. Things may well turn around.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        I feel a little better because just now on Rachel, they said that Mueller has the power to overrule Rosenstein should he say no to something he requests. If that were to happen, Mueller would have to go to Congress and inform the majority and minority.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    I really like Tim Weiner.

  • Treg Brown
    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      And who could forget this–

      Media Return To Deriding Hillary Clinton’s Laugh
      “The Cackle,” “A Record Scratch”

    • Jukesgrrl

      Remember when Obama put mustard on his hamburger? Or worse yet when he fist-bumped Michelle! Those were the days of real political scandal.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Or when he wore a tan suit, or when he wore mom pants (whatever those are), or when he and Trudeau shared a “bromance” and people who never heard the word before thought it meant they’re gay, or when he sang an Al Green song without express written permission from the copyright holder for a public performance license, or… yeah, I got nothin’ either.

  • RobespierreHoo

    With Special Counsel, Jim Comey, FBI, Senate Intelligence Committee and God knows who else, seems like the phones are ringing off the hook at the office of noted political scandal counsel, Monty Hall,Esq.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Since we’re in a good place, and maybe our guys have the wind at their backs, can I just say how incredibly grateful I’m going to be when the special elections are over? Because this is since mid-evening Monday.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/410422b15a20bf6f2c87c7b36b384894d489227f584e2359949d16eba6e5cc55.jpg

    For the sake of all that is good and true, make it stop.

    • Jukesgrrl

      It does help a little bit to unsubscribe. You’ll still get mail from people soliciting on their behalf, but I cut the requests by about half by hitting the “unsubscribe” button for both Ossoff and Quist. I sent them both money via Act Blue, so they’re on their own now. I especially hate the notes of hysteria that they employ to try and get you to pay attention “It’s a DISASTER!!!,” “Really bad news for Ossoff,” “Quist in deep deep trouble in Montana, ” etc., etc. It’s just too much.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        And the thing where they don’t even pretend to offer the option of not capturing your credit card and I have to delete it every damn time.

        • James

          Since I don’t have a credit card, they have to accept a check or money order from me or I cannot donate.

  • shivaskeeper

    Any wonkers in the Portland area happen to have a 6 lug wheel and tire, and 6 studs I can borrow? Mrs keeper sheared the wheel studs off of a camper she is hauling on I 84 between Portland and Cascade Locks.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Oh shit!
      That’s no fun at all.

      • shivaskeeper

        Yeah. At least the big trucks pull into the left lane when they pass. Fucking 4 wheelers are cutting it awfully close to us.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    God. Remember when we had people like Dan Rather? How the hell did we get here?

    • Gigglesnort

      Dude, I remember when we had Walter Cronkite.

    • David Chaillou

      Fox. It all boils down to how Fox accustomed people to live in a parallel reality bubble. And then the internet made it possible for the bubble to fly off into the wild blue yonder.

      https://youtu.be/Vl89g2SwMh4

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      It wasn’t just Fox. During the 1980s, the networks collectively decided that their news divisions should become profit centers rather than providers of a public service.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Ok…I’ve got official word from Anna.
    Paypal is kosher with her.
    That will make it much easier to help her out.

    Holy shit…
    We’re really going to be able to help her y’all.

    Jesus fucking christ I’m crying right now.

    • SeeTrain65

      You aren’t the only one.

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • MynameisBlarney

    Alrighty then, ya scurvy dogs!
    G’noit!

    And thanks for all the help. No fucking shit.
    That means a lot to me. And Anna.

    • BeachBum

      Woof !

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Lori

      He thinks he’s getting out of this clean?

    • ltmcdies

      you know what eventually happened to Brutus, there, VP Pence.

    • BeachBum

      Well, at least now we know who will be the GOP nominee for prez will be. The incumbent Pence. We will just have to see if he stays out of jail til Nov of 2020.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        You. think? I’m starting to think that shrieking loon at NRO who won’t shut up about The Rock may have a point.

    • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

      It’s going to be so, so sad to watch his dreams shatter.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Noooooooooooooooo.

    • OrdinaryJoe
  • ltmcdies

    if anyone was wondering what important issue of the day Tuck is tucking into

    https://twitter.com/scottlincicome/status/865031650597621760

    • Lori

      LOL. Literally.

    • Greyhame

      Good old Tuck-face will get to the bottom of this pressing matter!

    • Jukesgrrl

      Yesterday, wasn’t his obsession the bathrooms in Penn Station? You know, I have men in my life I see every day and I never hear them discuss public restrooms. I don’t know Tucker Carlson and I don’t watch his program, yet I am aware of him speaking on television three different times about public restrooms. Seriously, this guy has issues.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        That whole bunch has a seriously troubling obsession with bathrooms.

      • John Thorstensen

        This. I travel a lot and am in and out of men’s rooms in many different places. I can’t recall ever having been hit on, or anything else out of the ordinary.

        Maybe I’m just ugly!

    • boyblue122

      Everyone knows the real scandal is Last Man Standing getting cancelled and what happens to Tim Allen’s ego as a result

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Fucker Quarrelsome knows all.

  • Panika MCD

    with you, ‘Trix, it’s always heroinE time.

  • Greyhame

    Oh Florida Man, surely there’s a metaphor in this for what the Redhat MAGA crowd has inflicted upon us all:
    http://www.cbsnews.com/news/florida-man-bitten-on-the-tongue-by-rattlesnake/

    • Three Finger Salute

      The Redhat morons give Red Hat Linux a bad name. If Trump had an alliterative Ubuntu iteration named in his (dis)honor, it’d have to be Derpy Dodo.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      2017 Darwin award candidate.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        I believe you have to actually die to be eligible for one of those.

    • phoenix00

      Floriduh has always been like this. MAGA was merely the icing on the deplorable cake.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Jim Bakker: Trump Opponents Have Triggered The Apocalypse

    “They hate Trump,” he said. “What is this? This is not a normal spirit. This is not a normal hate. This is that spirit of the First Horse of the Apocalypse, which is riding now. It’s the spirit of hatred that’s taking over America and life and death is in the power of the tongue.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e2ea9d930e97417be05ae95d48503fab1f46513bcb3f92335412f6f410202238.jpg

    http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/jim-bakker-trump-opponents-have-triggered-the-apocalypse/

    • Three Finger Salute

      I thought that fucker was dead? Or was it just his memeworthy wife with the Pagliacci clown tears that passed away?

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Tammy Faye RIP, or something.

        • SisterArtemis

          I kinda liked Tammy, weird as she was. On the other hand, no patience whatsoever for Mr. Bakker.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            She actually became something of a gay icon, because she cared about AIDS patients. And, fwiw, their son Jamie is a very decent person. Christian, but a force for good. Jim is the freakshow in that family.

          • TheBoatDude

            I heard she and JM J Bullock did a show in the Castro and it just killed…

        • Three Finger Salute

          You know what vampire is still alive? Pat fucking Robertson. The Robertsons have a contract with whoever owns Fox/ABC Family/Freeform/whatever-the-fuck-it’s-called-now, stipulating that they get to air the 700 Club at 11pm until the apocalypse or until Gordon’s great-great-great-grandchild proves sterile from too much inbreeding, whichever comes first.

          Pretty jarring when you get done watching a (heavily edited) airing of Home Alone during the “25 Days of Christmas” marathon and this senile whack job comes on. He thinks AIDS is spread by barbed wire wedding rings that gay couples give each other in some kind of satanic ritual.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7IFMUN-X-g

          I think he accidentally happened upon a Billy Idol video and it got worked into his sermon (otherwise known as his dementia-laden hallucinations).

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAZQaYKZMTI

          • Dazza

            He’s still alive, ’cause hell doesn’t want him sleazing up the place.

          • Jamoche

            I did love how it used to go from “Whose Line is it Anyway” to the disclaimer – like saying “yeah, all those sexual innuendos, we’re cool with it, but this next show? We don’t agree with that shit.”

    • UnsaltedSinner

      I guess that’s Donald’s loose tongue he’s talking about.

    • Skaarphy

      Shouldn’t he be happy? He will get Pence as next president, after all …

    • Serai 1

      Hate isn’t one of the Four Horsemen, you dipshit douchebag fake Christian.

      • TheBoatDude

        What are they? Mocha Mix, Believing it’s not butter, NA beer, and….?

        • Serai 1

          War, Pestilence, Famine, and Death.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    At least Trevor Noah is used to this stuff.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kd9GEQkJLqQ

    • Lyly Sirivong

      I love it when he talks about the things he’s been through or experienced in SA.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Lawyer up White House staff. Sean? Kelly Anne? Jared? Are you there? Can you see this?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/297ace2592e330e46ebb8ab507997a3f2e6553c398f7c05f0b6be7bda4fa5aa5.jpg

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    This happened a few months ago, but the police report is just . . . something I can’t read without laughing (nobody was injured):

    Rodriguez was northbound on US95 when he slowed to avoid a deer. His load shifted, sending a 2300 pound ingot of lead onto the roadway. Tobias was southbound and struck the ingot. This caused the front axle of Tobias’ semi to be ripped out and sent the semi skidding on the roadway. The semi came to rest on the northbound side of the road, near the ditch. Tobias jumped out of the semi due to a fire, his load had shifted and he was struck by a truck he was hauling. The roadway was blocked for over 7 hours. Rodriguez was issued a citation for unsecure load.

  • Dazza
    • phoenix00

      MONSTERS

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I see no canned clams.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Hawaii. They really, truly love Spam in Hawaii. From what I’ve heard.

      • phoenix00
        • Dazza

          Oh dear god.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            It’s real. Honest.

          • phoenix00

            The big food vendor at the local yearly Japanese festival I volunteer at actually sells this. I haven’t had the heart to actually go try some.

    • Jeff Ackerman

      Spam, rice and an eggs are popular for breakfast in Hawaii

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • Scrofula

      except, but, no damage at all yet!!!

    • My body is ready.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        But my spirit is weak.

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      God enough. I’ve had it.

    • SeeTrain65

      Maybe this one will finally be enough for Congressional Republicans to act.

      (Thought we could all use a laugh.)

  • James

    The panic among Pence's staff is perhaps the most compelling evidence that Pence is dirty as all hell. They know they have reason to worry. https://t.co/oLyGezarCh— Melissa McEwan (@Shakestweetz) 18 May 2017

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      So all hail preznit Ryan? ¯_(ツ)_/¯

      • David Chaillou

        I’ll drink to that.

        • James

          Speculation over at Little Green Footballs comment section, which does not exist here, is that if Pence goes down, so does Paul Ryan. If that were the case, we could wind up with a very elderly President Orrin Hatch, who could then nominate Mitt Romney for VP and on his confirmation, resign.

          Five presidents in a matter of weeks would be quite the coup for Russia. The chaos in the USA would prevent any American move against whatever they wanted to do.

          • David Chaillou

            As Europeans, don’t think for a second we’re not very aware of that. I guess we’re counting on the Pentagon to remain functional no matter how badly the rest of the government crumbles.
            Emergency President McMaster?

          • James

            Well, there is no constitutional provision for an emergency president. Declaring one would require the Constitution’s suspension . . . if that happened all hell would break loose here.

          • David Chaillou

            You have your tenses wrong. Hell has already broken loose for quite some time, you just haven’t hit the ground yet. Apology for the mixed metaphor.

            IMNSHO the Constitution went down when they refused to conduct hearings for Judge Garland.

          • James

            Yup, hell broke loose on 11/9 (a new day which will live in infamy)

          • David Chaillou

            You know we French use a reverse system for day and month. So calling 11/9 9/11 was already a bit confusing. Let’s not make it even worse.

          • TheBoatDude

            Much like 7-11

          • TheBoatDude

            By the thinkers. But we’d be considered fancy and elite, and the “real ‘muricans” would be fine with it, so long as God approved…

          • TheBoatDude

            Wow…mittens does play the long game…

      • TheBoatDude

        He gonna miss his workout routine…

  • James

    There's total confusion and panic in the WH tonight. Not just among Trump's staff but Pence's too. Real concern Pence will go down w/ Trump.— Jon Cooper (@joncoopertweets) 18 May 2017

    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      Gee.
      That would be too bad.

    • TheBoatDude

      Don’t tease. But Pence will have to deal with the lingering residue of Trump…

  • Serai 1

    Well, that video didn’t last long on YT.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    https://youtu.be/-LfzD2khJp0

    Oh damn, I liked Chris Cornell 😭

    • John Thorstensen

      Amazingly, he could do that and walk at the same time! Was there no end to his talents?

      • Ferroequinologist Ron

        While Donnie needs coaching just to chew.
        ‘Alright, Mr President, jaw down… now jaw up… now jaw down… now jaw up…’
        ‘MAKE UP YOUR MIND!’

        • TheBoatDude

          Last year he was 50, this year its 51… make up your mind!

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    In today’s installment of “No, I Don’t Know What It Means Either,” the occasional series in which I post the nonsensical phrases that arise in my mind just upon waking, a single word: “lardtini.”

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Full disclosure: There is one hit on Google, from 2007: “Where I come from real men drink pints of beef dripping on a friday night out, with their better half sipping on a lardtini.”

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Lots of things go with bacon fat, lots work with fancy cocktails. But never the two shall meet in the land of good taste.

  • Elvis Causticfellow
  • Oh and Dr May is supporting Jeremy Corbyn

    Brian May, that is

  • SeeTrain65
    • janecita

      I know, so damn sad.

  • SeeTrain65
    • This is absolutely disgusting. How long before police are just made immune to prosecutions for any type of unlawful killing?

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        Already happened

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Mmm, have some abuse and falsehoods with your well-done steak and ketchup.
    https://twitter.com/politico/status/865156308827295744

  • James

    Breaking News from Reuters: Trump Campaign had eighteen undisclosed contacts with Russia in the final months of the campaign.
    http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trump-russia-contacts-idUSKCN18E106?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=Social

    Moreover, Trump’s forcing on the GOP Platform language with tacit recognition of Russia’s forcible annexation of Crimea is strikingly similar to the guy who was the former Ukraine president’s confidant and Putin confidant.

    Any more shoes drop and we’ll need a shoe factory (more jobs for Americans).

  • shoeflyin

    I am now expecting the twist ending where the president and his top advisors divert an overseas trip and seek asylum in Moscow

    • TheBoatDude

      But they send the jet back because it’s too old…

    • timpundit

      I contemplated that last night and decided that much much weirder things have happened.

  • I am just so sad, he will be sorely missed by the women he abused and I do mean sore
    https://twitter.com/FoxNews/status/865185973503709184

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      This is blank for me – I assume this is the announcement that Roger Ailes is dead.

      • Yop and if the Tweet doesn’t show just open the Twitter link

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          I can’t view any sort of social media from work. It’s shocking that I can view and post on this site.

    • Me not sure

      Having already spent decades at Fox News, hell should be a snap.

      • Ferroequinologist Ron

        Satan will ask him for tips and techniques.

        • Me not sure

          Hopefully he’ll be able to get the band back together down there real soon.

    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      Alex Jones: ‘ROGER AILES WAS MURDERED BY HILLARY CLINTON!!!1!1!’ in 3… 2… 1…

      • Too many numbers in the countdown

      • whitroth

        Vince Foster! Vince Foster murdered him!

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Maybe I was too giddy this morning? Oliver Pockets has decided that I can’t have any more news today and has commandeered the keyboard on my laptop. But cats are dumb–he doesn’t know I can get feeds from my phone.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/111584645ce7f60e9aabcefbe5984536031637d2fb5ccd3b9b773f8dd484e02a.jpg

    • whitroth

      I hope you’re running the software in the background that detects cat typing. I mean, otherwise you’ll be looking at those odd charges on your credit card….

      He’s really pretty. What a nice lord&master you have.

      • Martini Ambas