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It won’t be the same without Jon Stewart to mock him.

Donald Trump is interviewing four possible candidates to replace James Comey as FBI director, and among them is Joe Lieberman, the former Democrat who turned independent so he could cuddle up to John McCain, and who became a former senator in 2012. The Hill notes that Lieberman, unlike previous FBI directors, “has no experience as an FBI agent or as a federal judge or prosecutor.” With a normal president, that lack of relevant experience might rule out a candidate; with Trump, it may be the Connecticut senator’s best selling point. Or maybe Trump just wanted to bring Lieberman in to hear him talk in his Droopy Poodle voice. “Do the voice again, Joe! I love the voice!” “What voice?” “Oh, Jesus, Joe, you’re killing me here! Now, will you promise to drop the Russia investigation? Just don’t tell anyone I asked you, OK?”

White House press secretary Sean Spicer said Wednesday that Trump was also interviewing acting FBI Director Andrew McCabe, who may turn out to be too smart and independent for Trump, as well as former Oklahoma Gov. Frank Keating, a former U.S. attorney and associate attorney general under Reagan, and former FBI Executive Assistant Director Richard McFeely, who served under Robert Mueller during the Obama administration. We suspect McFeely only made it onto Trump’s final list because an aide added the name and Trump always wanted to know more how governing works in the Neighborhood of Make-Believe.

We suppose there could be worse choices than Lieberman, although it’s difficult to see Trump ultimately choosing him since he endorsed Hillary Clinton in the 2016 election. A black eye like that could more than offset Lieberman’s attractive lack of qualifications. Oh, and there are some other tiny problems with Lieberman in the old “conflict of interest” category, as HuffPo points out: Lieberman’s law firm, Kasowitz Benson Torres & Friedman, has represented Trump in a number of matters, including the restructuring of debt for his casinos, a losing defamation case against the author of a book Trump didn’t like — for stating Trump’s wealth in the hundreds of millions, not in the billions — and “the fight to keep filings from his 1990 divorce from ex-wife Ivana Trump sealed.” Lieberman proudly introduced Trump donor Betsy DeVos at her confirmation hearing without mentioning his firm’s connections to Trump, a matter that just might get mentioned if Lieberman is Trump’s pick.

Haha, as if “conflict of interest” is even a thing anymore when you have a president who sees elected office as a terrific business opportunity! “Liberals” and people who care about “ethics” may kick up a fuss over Lieberman’s connections to the Trump empire, but as far as something that would hurt his possible nomination, forget it — we just need Fox News to wail that Lieberman endorsed Hillary to keep him from getting the nod. Sean Hannity, are you aware of this?

Why wouldn’t we want Ol’ Mushmouth running the FBI, apart from how he turned against Dems in 2008 and has largely been a remora stuck beneath John McCain’s gill slits ever since? The biggest problem with Lieberman is that he’s just one of those people who are so righteous it becomes a pathology, as we saw during the whole Monica Lewinsky thing, when we regularly found ourself lunging for the mute button. And while it doesn’t have anything to do with law enforcement, we’re still plenty pissed that he blocked the public option in the ACA. Then there’s his tendency to freak out about anything that looks to him like a Muslim terrorist, i.e. any Muslim anywhere. Not exactly the “follow the facts where they lead” temperament you’d want in an FBI director.

But again, qualifications and temperament aren’t all that important to Trump. He wants loyalty and a willingness to follow orders, so let’s just remind the president that not only did Lieberman endorse Hillary Clinton, he also opposed Trump’s proposed Muslim ban and didn’t think much of Trump’s insults toward Judge Gonzalo Curiel, either. Oh, far too dangerous and disloyal a choice, Mr. President.

Oh, what the hell. Whoever Trump picks will suck. Just go with Ivanka, why don’t you?

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[The Hill / Politico / HuffPo / Slate]

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  • Oblios_Cap

    Lie-berman hasn’t done an Ailes yet? It must be getting pretty close.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • schmannity

    This is good news for John McCain.

    • chascates

      But bad news for America.

  • schmannity

    So, Trump has decided to appoint a Republican?

  • Lance Thrustwell

    It’s gotta be McFeely. I mean, we’re talking about McGropey here.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Well, that is some kinda synergy there. Those two should definitely get in touch.

  • Zonath

    He’s the most unqualified candidate for the job, so of course Trump will feel obligated to pick him.

    • dslindc

      But does he have a real desire to destroy the FBI, like his cabinet picks do for their departments?

    • artem1s

      no, sadly he’s not even the most unqualified candidate on the short list.

    • I watched the pink panther movie once. Does that make me too qualified?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Yeah, probably. You’re definitely overqualified if you’ve ever watched any part of any episode of the X-Files.

  • Joe Beese

    Has there ever been a Jewish FBI Director?

    It doesn’t strike me as a kreplach and schmaltz kind of place.

    • dslindc

      Don’t tell Preznit Bannon

    • Mr. Blobfish

      The alt-right will not be amused.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      As Lenny Bruce would have said:

      FBI: goyish, really heavy goyim, there.

  • chascates

    I guess Sarah Palin not having a law degree kept her out.

  • Sophia

    OT but is he auditioning for his Fox News job?

    Chaffetz: ‘I Question’ Whether Comey Memos Are ‘Actually There’

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/chaffetz-questions-comey-memos

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      S-M-R-T

    • ariel_gee_398
      • Sophia

        Ah, just given them a sample of the derp he is capable of

        • ariel_gee_398

          Or he’ll be compensated for this once he’s safely out of government.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Finally, a question from Chaffetz that’s not about Hillary’s emails.

  • ArgieBargie

    Didn’t Darth Vader throw him into the Death Star’s reactor shaft?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    This is odd. I don’t recall Lieberman ever complimenting trump.

    • But he HAS heard of him. That’s the main qualification.

    • Vecchioivan

      Trump knows a toady when he sees one.

      • Oblios_Cap

        But he endorsed Killary. He won’t get the job.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Speedy Delivery

  • Vecchioivan

    They’re only considering Lieberman because Waylon Smithers turned them down.

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    Well, that was a nice 6 year run I had of forgetting that he existed.

    It’s like he looked at his legacy of being personally responsible for no single payer and making the ACA negotiations as torturous as possible and was like “nah, need something even shittier to round it off.”

  • Joe Beese
    • Vecchioivan
    • laughingnome

      Also dubbed Mr. Schmendrick, Mr. Putz, and Mr. Shlemiele.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Trump has always been first and foremost a showman.

        Mr. Shit Show

      • A pedant notes: the Israeli establishment kind of look down on Yiddish as a “ghetto language”, they much prefer Hebrew.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Fox News: Israel calls President “Idiot”, film at 11.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Home Alone III. What happens when the President of the United States gets left behind from his first trip abroad? Coming to theaters this summer.

      • TJ Barke

        Already is a home alone 3, and 4, I believe. They’re terrible.

        • GoutMachine

          Drumpf was in the second Home Alone, so why not round out the series?

        • Mr. Blobfish

          I’m bad with the pop culture.

    • Oblios_Cap

      And I never thought we would ever have a president that could embarrass me more when overseas that George W. Bush.

      I was wrong.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Stunning, isn’t it? I’m still in deep denial over the fact Hillary only won by a measly 3 million votes. If I’d been forced to predict a number, it would have been between three and six times that much.

      • eka

        that just shows how dedicated the republican party is to impressing us. you thought we couldn’t be more cruel? HMB

    • Werewolf

      Balagan is actually a fairly mild word, but more polite than the more apt “bardak”.

  • Mpeg

    This scenario is more loaded with contrast factors than picking a horse to win Preakness. All those pro’s and con’s surrounding Lieberman will undoubtedly put Drumpf into a complication-coma.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Isn’t Chuck Norris available?

    • Turgid Love Skwerl

      He’s too busy fighting Delta Force!

    • artem1s

      Stephen Seagal is already in Russia, right? that will save loads of rubles on couriers to carry classified documents back and forth.

      • eka

        meh. i don’t think trump wants anyone who could distract from the trump show, so another “celebrity” is a clear no. he needs blandly evil people.

        • artem1s

          well that explains Pence I guess

          • eka

            i think it explains everyone except bannon, but bannon likes the shadows, so it doesn’t matter that he’s an attention grabber.

      • marxalot

        Isn’t he banned from Ukraine?

      • chazmanr

        Isn’t he a cop in in Louisiana?

  • artem1s

    really, I guess I’m relieved that Kucinich hasn’t turned up on Twittler’s short list of complete incompetent hacks. Yet.

    • Mpeg

      Funny, I was thinking of him too.

  • cheetojeebus

    I wonder if when you leave a meeting with Lieberman your clothes have a smell of old shoes, pinesol and mass transit public toilet?

    • artem1s

      moth balls also,too

      • mardam422

        And self-loathing, shame and failure,

  • Lieberman is the original Uncle Tomer.*

    *the Israeli name, not a verb form of Tom

    • anon_the_great

      Actually, Uncle Tom would be the original Uncle Tomer.

      Juss sayin’

      • I….had no idea he was Jewish.

        • mardam422

          Lost tribe and all.

  • God Emperor Emeritus

    What kind of odds can I get on Andrew Cuomo?

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Cuomo has prosecutorial experience, at least.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      They might not want to chance a Democrat getting his job.

  • artem1s

    I’M IN CHARGE HERE. too bad Al Haig is dead. He’d be perfectly awful

  • jesuswasablack

    Joe “dual citizen” Lieberman! Awesome pick, he’s not tainted by partisan politics! Have we ever had an FBI director that is also a citizen of another country?
    http://68.media.tumblr.com/67d5fe50bdea62d9794f5cff6d053029/tumblr_inline_oe1nhilwQw1su3je7_500.jpg

  • Michael Smith

    Plus he was Al Gore’s running mate. Elephants don’t forget.

  • theblackdog

    I still think he’s going to pick “I have sources in the FBI that know the tables are about to turn for Trump” Giuliani.

    • eka

      naw, I think he likes teasing Giuliani too much. He’ll dangle it and then snatch it away. Other contenders will be Christie and Romney because they are also enjoying to tease.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “Wyatt Earp is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more, I notice.”

  • WeaselPoo

    Whilst Lieberman’s complete lack of qualifications pertinent to the FBI Director job makes him perfect for the responsibilities of the appointment ( which are to undermine the agency as thoroughly as possible, in keeping with Trump’s other departmental and executive/cabinet appointments thus far), his weak, sad low-energy grifting abilities will end up denying him the job.

  • Joe Beese

    Chelsea Manning, a free woman.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BUPbwX0htrw/

    • anon_the_great

      Channeling a little Annie Lennox there.

      Lookin good. Then again no one needs cis normative approval no how

    • jesuswasablack

      I don’t care what sex he/she chooses its a free country. The fact still remains this person is a traitor and should be treated like one.

      • Joe Beese

        Ah, go peddle yer papers.

      • anon_the_great

        A traitor to the military industrial complex you mean.

        • Oblios_Cap

          We should never know what horrible things our government does in our names!

      • TJ Barke

        I suppose Daniel Ellsburg was as well?

        • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

          Daniel Ellsburg released to the NY Times, Manning went straight to Wikileaks, a Russian front.

          Bit of a difference, wouldn’t you say?

          • canes_pugnaces

            I don’t think Wikileaks, at the juncture, was a Russian front. But it certainly become one.

          • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

            I think Wikileaks has always been a tool of the Russians. I don’t think Manning knew that necessarily, and was probably groomed by Assange who took advantage of a young person who was struggling with identity. However, that’s how you groom assets, look at Trump and Page. You figure out what they want and you give it to them.

            But I would struggle less with what she did if she had gone to the American press (who would have protected her. period) and not straight to Julian fucking Assange and the Russians.

          • chazmanr

            If you were Russian intelligence, what cheaper, easier way to get intelligence on American spy and military operations than to create a “whistleblower” website and eliminate all of the effort involved in recruiting new assets when they will come to you?

            Have I been watching too many episodes of The Americans? I have a thing for Kerri Russell

          • TJ Barke

            Wikileaks was not known as a russian front at the time, and I’m sure to a young person seemed more relevant. Keeping knowledge of war crimes secret is contemptible.

          • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

            I don’t have a problem with what she did. I have a problem with the backstory and how all of this came about. I am concerned that it sets a bad precedent as far as how tools of foreign governments go about recruiting new intelligence assets, and that is exactly what happened here.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            I’ll have to admit, that does make a difference to me. And my view of Wikileaks has, like all anyone paying attention, changed drastically over time. It may be hard to judge her on what she thought of Wikileaks at the time of her actions.

        • jesuswasablack

          Daniel Ellsburg was not in the Military when he released classified information, whole different situation. Bradley Manning pleaded guilty to a number of crimes during his court martial, he committed treason while on the military’s payroll. He’s a traitor, IMO he should have been made to serve his 35 year sentence.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Harsh. When I was in the service I think everything, even the dinner menu, was classified.

      • canes_pugnaces

        Like you say: it’s a free country, and I, for one, don’t care what you think.

        • jesuswasablack

          Then why did you read my post?

          • canes_pugnaces

            In all honesty, it was an accident.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I think maybe that guy that commuted her sentence thought Manning had been punished enough.

        • jesuswasablack

          Of course, I just disagree with the commutation.

    • Anna Rompage

      Didn’t that asspuke of a mother fucker, Julian Assange, promise to turn himself in to authorities if Chelsea’s sentence wss commuted and she was freed?

      • Joe Beese

        People keep saying this. Is it true? I don’t remember hearing it.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Dayum.

    • mardam422

      Manning sideboob!!

      • Oblios_Cap

        Alert Huffpost!

      • Joe Beese

        Alert the Huffington Post!

  • artem1s

    oooo, oooo! I know! John Edwards! he’s a lawyer! The Democrats will totally love him, right!?

  • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

    Uh, Joe – you got something stringing off your chin, might wanna wipe that off.

  • timpundit

    I’ve still not forgiven Lieberman for his Love Fest for Cheney at their debate.

  • Joe Beese
    • Antonin Dvorak

      So, who is Mr. Pink?

      • All the Democrats who have nothing to do with this?

      • Joe Beese

        Lindsay Graham.

      • PubOption

        Rod Rosenstein?

    • timpundit

      But the music in this version, sucks.

    • miss_grundy

      If only…….

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Who knew running the FBI was so difficult?

    • laughingnome

      Almost as difficult as running from the FBI.

      • mardam422

        I like that one.

    • MynameisBlarney

      J. Edgar?

    • JohnBull

      Hitler?

    • Mumen Rider Justice CRASH!

      Nah, it just requires a little common sense, some tax cuts and a pocket-constitution. You know, like every government job.

  • Chadwells

    At what point does Fuckface run out of rope in terms of hiring these fucking idiots who clearly do not belong in the position they are appointed to? Would the Senate actually confirm this twat? They’re shitty right now…but are they THAT flagrant?

    I know. Stupid questions.

    • miss_grundy

      Yes and yes……

  • Oblios_Cap

    Joe “Jews For Justice” Lieberman sounds just wonderful.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Rick Wilson on a bit of a tear…
    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029083145

    • timpundit

      lol, he’s a riot when he gets going on trump humpers.

    • Vecchioivan

      Confusion to our enemies!

      Cheer up, Rick. You’ll get those fat tax breaks under President Hatch.

  • ServantToTheStars
    • Joe Beese

      December 2008…

      Feels like a couple of lifetimes ago.

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      Ted Cruz Libelz!

  • canes_pugnaces

    Lieberman, as some will recall, had a wild pretzel eating fling that bigbird W on WMD, torturing the hell out of anyone not born in Israel, and basically his love of neocon wars and killing brown people. So I am sure Trump will have a nice time playing pin the tail on the Russian with that pathetic sycophant, Lieberman.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    In keeping with the competencies expected of appointees, wouldn’t Whitey Bulger be a better fit?

  • timpundit

    Palin is gonna end up with the job, ya just know it.

    • anon_the_great

      This pains me to say but it could be worse. Exhibit A: Sheriff David Clarke

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        A black man in charge of the FBI? Not fucking likely.

        • Oblios_Cap

          At least not for long, anyway.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Only over Steve Bannon’s slightly more bloated corpse.

        • eka

          Eh, Clarke is such a bigot that Trump probably believes he is a white who just accidentally grabbed the non-orange variety of spray tanner and adheres to Trump’s application methods (no such thing as too much).

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Clarke has the advantage over other candidates of being, you guessed it, Russian compro.

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      Arpaio.

      • timpundit

        Oh FUCK.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      The only question is which Palin?

      • FlownΩver

        Michael?

  • Wild Cat

    Few remember Lieberman was put in power by Wm. F. Buckley, who loathed his liberal Republican Senator, Lowell Weicker. (Yes, they existed once.)

    • GoutMachine

      Sigh. Being an Xer, I never knew those days. Sounds … kinda nice.

      • Wild Cat

        There were loons. Dems had many war hawks. We had to make room for the Southern racists. Wallace was a Democrat, but everyone assumed he was GOP. Everyone was bipartisan on war. But until Reagan, Republicans were more educated, open to science, open to abortion. Then Reagan . . .

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Hell, HW Bush ran against Reagan on a pro-choice, anti-Laffer platform of “Wow, that guy is fucked in the head”, and there’s no deeper state guy than the former CIA head son of Senator Bush.

          • Wild Cat

            They’re just a sick cult now. 40% of our populace is brainwashed.

          • pstockholm

            That may be the most concise diagnosis I have seen to date. Bravo.

      • Marion in Savannah

        It was really wonderful — that left-wing radical Tricky Dicky Nixon starting the EPA and all… I miss those days.

      • FlownΩver

        All Things Considered (pretty new then) became the daily soundtrack, and CBS News ran public interest reporting in prime time. Compare to Spotify and Two Broke Girls.

    • eyelashviper

      Today Weicker would be consider a far left screaming radical commie..

      • Wild Cat

        Yup, and if anything, he was a fiscal conservative with a tolerance for some personal freedoms like abortion.

    • Anna Rompage

      How I miss the days of Gore Vidal handing Buckley his ass on a regular basis…

      • MynameisBlarney

        Those days live on at the youtubes.

      • Wild Cat

        Didn’t you feel they just went out afterwards, hit the gay bars, and delighted in themselves? And Norman Mailer was jealous because he was boringly pre-cisgendered! ;-)

        • Marion in Savannah

          Nope.

        • GoutMachine

          Probably some great post-debate hate sex.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Oh, I think ol’ Bill was as straight as they come.

      • laughingnome
        • Lance Thrustwell

          I never, ever thought I would miss Buckley. But the idea of a prominent conservative possessing wit and charm has become laughably quaint.

          • laughingnome

            He was erudite and smooth but covered a streak of crypto-fascism, as Vidal pointed out.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Oh, no doubt. But now our evil, retrograde conservatives don’t even have the decency to be entertaining anymore.

          • laughingnome

            Yes, it’s the whole Nixon-Reagan revolution whereby they pull the wool over the eyes of the rubes and let their natural constituency quietly rape the country. I believe Buckley had praised Limbaugh as one of the most effective proponents of the National Review philosophy. Buckley was defending the ideas of the rubes in the debate with Vidal, but not in their language. But it’s all a cover for the power brokers.

          • Michael Kortsen

            I saw him years ago on Conan O’Brien. The only part I remember was the very last question. Conan asked him to say something positive about any Democratic politician.
            And Buckley…blanked out. The famously articulate spokesman froze on air.
            He finally sputtered some backhanded compliment about someone (?) seeming to actually believe what he’s saying, but it was clear to me his mind was as open as a rusted bank vault encased in concrete.

          • pstockholm

            He was well-educated, not erudite.

          • Joe Beese

            Wit, yes. Charm, no.

            That clip perfectly conveys what a bullying supercilious shit he was.

          • pstockholm

            I would question the wit too. Read a transcript. Not all that witty.

    • eka

      my dad was a liberal republican who, among other things, started a recycling program in my hometown in the 80s. When he left office, the next guy was a white supremacist democrat who was arrested but not convicted for possibly having provided the ammo for the murder of a black woman in the sixties which kicked off the local race riots. Politics are weird, man, and local politics doubly so.

  • Chadwells

    OT: Richard Rojas, 26….is the Times Sq. driver. They released his name too quickly for Fuckface to claim terrorism. Thank god for small miracles. Rojas doesn’t sound terroristy enough for him. He’ll probably go the immigrant route….because he’s a fuckface.

    • Mumen Rider Justice CRASH!

      He does sound kinda “deporty” though

      • Chadwells

        Guy from the Bronx with 2 priors for DWI….we’ll see.

    • JohnBull

      Isn’t Fuckface over in Israel getting pissy about where he can and can’t land his plane?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Even in the “breaking news” alert at the top of the NYT site they were saying that the driver appeared to be intoxicated. However, I’d have much preferred if that driver had been named Chester Quincy Adams or something else that WASPy.

      • msanthropesmr

        James Thurston Howell III

      • Chadwells

        Yeah…apparently he has 2 priors for DWI. It looks to be a terrible and unfortunate event not related to any of Fuckface’s talking points.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        If you’re Hispanic *raises hand*, you’re gonna head home, lock the doors, and draw the drapes. Pogroms to follow at 8 pm.

      • eyelashviper

        Sean Sphincter?

  • Spurning Beer

    I have a hunch Trump will appoint a fellow New Yorker, the Naked Cowboy.

  • chazmanr

    Well, you can get a start on the drinking by visiting Trader Joe’s to buy some 4-buck Chuck to deal with Traitor Joe being FBI director.

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      Fucking inflation.

      • chazmanr

        I heard it is actually up to 6-buck Chuck these days, but I don’t drink.

        • God Emperor Emeritus

          Strangely enough, I’m pretty sure my salary hasn’t tripled since then.

          • chazmanr

            I work for a University. I got one of the best performance evaluations in my department last year. My “merit increase” was 2.6%. My employer announced it is increasing tuition this year by more than 3%. Therefore, I feel your pain.

          • FlownΩver

            “Increase”? Luxury.

          • Oblios_Cap

            It’s been almost ten years for state employees here in Florida.

          • chazmanr

            I am grateful that I work for a very well-funded, very large, private research University rather than a public one. I came from a S&P 500 company that was taken private and basically liquidated for its assets. I typically got 6-10% raises there which admittedly was right before the recession hit in earnest.

  • Just go with Ivanka, why don’t you?

    No, She’s the next Chief Justice. Uday will be taking over the state security apparatus.

    • eka

      Which one is that again? And don’t say the smarmy looking one.

      • Oblios_Cap

        The evil looking one.

        • eka

          do you feel my death glare? (i was completely asking for it though)

    • Marion in Savannah

      So what will they have Qusay doing? (I hesitate to ask, but fear drove me to it…)

      • “Just stand there and make your brother look less repulsive.”

        • Marion in Savannah

          Okay — I didn’t think anything about Uday and Qusay could make me howl but you just did. Kudos!

  • Marion in Savannah

    Take it from someone who not only lives in the south but also loves the stuff — there just ain’t enough bourbon in the world to cope with the possibility of Weepin’ Joe as FBI head.

  • jesterpunk

    The only good thing about the lawsuit against the book author was Trump’s comments under oath about his net worth.

    http://www.newsweek.com/how-much-trump-worth-depends-how-he-feels-384720

    .

    “Now, Mr. Trump, have you always been completely truthful in
    your public statements about your net worth of properties?” my lawyer
    asked during the deposition.

    “I try,” said Donald.

    “Have you ever not been truthful?”

    “My
    net worth fluctuates, and it goes up and down with markets and with
    attitudes and with feelings, even my own feelings, but I try.”

    “Let
    me just understand that a little bit,” my lawyer said. “Let’s talk
    about net worth for a second. You said that the net worth goes up and
    down based upon your own feelings?”

    “Yes, even my own feelings, as
    to where the world is, where the world is going, and that can change
    rapidly from day to day. Then you have a September 11th, and you don’t
    feel so good about yourself and you don’t feel so good about the world
    and you don’t feel so good about New York City. Then you have a year
    later, and the city is as hot as a pistol. Even months after that it was
    a different feeling. So yeah, even my own feelings affect my value to
    myself.”

    “When you publicly state what you’re worth, what do you base that number on?”

    “I would say it’s my general attitude at the time that the question may be asked,” Donald responded. “And as I say, it varies.”

    • Joe Beese

      I’m going to try that when declaring income for my taxes.

      • jesterpunk

        Just send the IRS a letter that says “Our president says only losers pay taxes and not paying taxes makes you smart. So I am not paying anything because I am bigly smart.”

        • Rachel Book Harlot

          But make sure it’s certified or they may not buy it.

          • jesterpunk

            It has to be certified by Russia’s top law firm too.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Don’t forget Return Receipt Requested because that is the ultimate proof.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Not as horrifying as McCain opting for $arah, but Gore picking that quisling, sadsack motherfucker was degrading.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Amen.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I don’t question Gore’s patriotism, intelligence or priorities in most cases, but I do think he has kind of a strange personality. Maybe he found something reassuring in Lieberman’s funereal demeanor and often perverse instincts.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        “Funereal”. Thank you…I was searching for that word and failed.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Well, smarmy or oleaginous might have worked also too.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            You have many words. And the best words!

          • Lance Thrustwell

            I hear you shouldn’t smarm anything oleaginous on your toast. Bad for the arteries.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        Lieberman was an outspoken critic of Bill at the end, so Gore thought it would differentiate himself from Big Dog.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Gore’s attempt at Clintonian triangulation was too acute.

          • FlownΩver

            And Lieberman was far, far too obtuse.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          That worked out about as well as Dems deciding they needed to “distance” themselves from Obama in the last midterms. Fucking spineless cretins.

          • chicken thief

            Perzactly. Everyone who distanced themselves from Obama lost. Meanwhile Obama was elected twice running on his agenda.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Too bad he was black and we could never fully trust him.

      • Meccalopolis

        He was runningaway from clinton

  • SayItWithWookies

    Can’t Joe get a job he’s unqualified for but will do less damage – like Secretary of Labor? Of course that’s probably already occupied by some union-busting robber barons.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      An ordinary level of “unqualified” makes you a relative expert in this administration.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Secretary of Nothing, Nothing Whatsoever would be a good slot.

  • Nounverb911

    OT
    OY
    Trump to Melania to Saudi Arabia with him. This should be fun.
    https://twitter.com/markknoller/status/865250448235790336

    • Chadwells

      And the icing….

      “Melania Trump scheduled to address U.S. military families during trip abroad”

      http://www.politico.com/story/2017/05/18/melania-trump-foreign-trip-schedule-238560

      • Marion in Savannah

        I’m sure they’ll be… [searching for words] … polite. Does polite work here?

        • Chadwells

          I hope they all ask her to sign her Maxim spread! Or the nude one…because the Fuckfaces are classy like that!

      • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

        Guaranteed almost every one of them has seen her naked at this point. Kinda makes the whole thing… I dunno, grotesque?

        • Chadwells

          They are all like a sentient venereal disease….going to spread their grossness all over Europe and the Middle East.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Don’t you mean wipe?

          • Chadwells

            Much better! Thank you!

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Her naked pics are NOT the worst thing about her! Not by a long shot! Jesus criminy, I sometimes think we slut-shame when it’s convenient around here.

          • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

            She is FLOTUS, and that title should come with a certain level of dignity that is NOW LOST because her audience has probably seen her naked – that includes heads of state and the military.

            That is not slut shaming, that is a fact, and would also be true for her husband.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Well, not just the pictures but also the fact that she was and still is the BFF of Putin’s current gal pal. Hmmmmmm.

            She must be worried that her unexpected status as the best honey badger in the honey badger game ever, tremendous honey badger game, will come back to bite her on the butt.

            Don’t worry, Melania.

            Trump still thinks you married him for his startling good looks.

            Just don’t go near anyone with an umbrella for the next, oh, say, 20 years or so and you’ll be fine.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        “I am closing my 52 years of military service. When I joined the Army, even before the turn of the century, it was the fulfillment of all of my boyish hopes and dreams. The world has turned over many times since I took the oath on the plain at West Point, and the hopes and dreams have long since vanished, but I still remember the refrain of one of the most popular barrack ballads of that day which proclaimed most proudly that “old soldiers never die; they just fade away.” — Melon Trump

      • Did Michelle ever do that? If so, that’ll save her speechwriters some time.

    • jesterpunk

      Melon and Toby Keith are going, hasnt the middle east suffered enough?

      • Chadwells

        LOL! Adding insult to injury!

        • jesterpunk

          Toby is even going to perform after Trump gives his Islam speech in Saudi Arabia. I wonder if he will play his super patriotic songs. Also was Lee Greenwood busy or something?

      • GoutMachine

        I think this qualifies as a war crime.

    • Chadwells

      What could go wrong brining a Slovenian hooker into Saudi Arabia. I’m sure she’ll be showing a lot of boob and leg. Christ…

      • PubOption

        Also, will Donald’s ‘hair’ be able to take a yarmulke while he’s in Israel?

        • Meccalopolis

          Mossad payback: crazy glue packs in the lining

      • Meccalopolis

        Donny’s gonna sell her to the sultan of brunei

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      They gonna hand out some of her nekkid pics to the Saudis?

    • Crank Tango

      Ha, give her some Michele Obama speeches and let her soak up some of the backlash for the team.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      What are they going to do in Sicily?

      • Chadwells

        Rub one out at Mussolini’s grave on their way?

        Also…Fuckface thinks he’s some kind of mobster.

    • chicken thief

      Of course she’s invited on this trip. The pee hookers are in Russia.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Melania is bringing a “Go Bag” and will disappear while touring Rome …

      • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

        I literally just scrolled down to say the exact same thing

        • CindyinEncinitas

          And I was thinking it. For realz.

          • jodyleek

            What in Crom’s name did she do to her nose?!?

      • Meccalopolis

        Asylum from the vatican?

    • Al Swearengen

      “Please come, Melania. But not little what’s-his-name. He might want some of my cake. I’m not sharing the most beautiful chocolate cake you’ve ever seen with some little kid. Bring him back when he can talk business.”

  • SterWonk

    Since this is Trump, the fact that Lieberman doesn’t look like “central casting’s” idea of an FBI Director might also hurt his chances.

  • Nounverb911
    • GoutMachine

      I love that every political cartoonist has basically made Drumpf into a Gerald Scarfe character from “The Wall”

      • Michael Kortsen

        A photographer could do that

    • C4TWOMAN

      When is Spicey going to say “fuck this, I’m outta here!”? He’s not part of the Mercer crew and this is the best time to bail if he’s going to…

      Maybe it’s Melissa McCarthy’s impression, but I’d kinda like to see him turn State’s evidence.

      • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

        Maybe he’s the one who’s been leaking (good plot twist for middle of Act Two)

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Nah, he’s too stupid to work that. Or to cover his own ass, for that matter.

          • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

            Yeah, I know. I honestly can’t figure out why he doesn’t get out while he can. What must be going through his mind?

      • FlownΩver

        What makes you think he knows anything? No evidence of that from any of his briefings.

  • puredog

    My liver! Dear God, do none of these people care about my liver?

    • Marion in Savannah

      No.

    • marxalot

      Cirrhosis is a pre-existing condition.

      • eka

        naw, in Bannon’s world it’s the only thing that wouldn’t be considered a pre-existing condition.

  • goonemeritus

    The advantage to Trump appointing Lieberman is that all the hard work has already been done discovering why we hate him.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Point well taken — we can skip right to the heavy drinking.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Sounds downright carbon friendly.

    • mardam422

      Where did I leave that file, anyway?

      • FlownΩver

        Trump’s hoping you left it in his next birthday cake.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    You’re considering Joe Lieberman, eh,Donald?

    https://youtu.be/wHa5Pt_aFYA?t=1m4s

  • Nounverb911
  • Ricky Gay

    “.. A black eye like that could more than offset Lieberman’s attractive lack of qualifications.” Dok is always good with the LOLs!

  • Thaumaturgist

    Going with Ivanka would keep the proceeds in-house.

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    Barry Bamz has lots of legal experience and he knows exactly how the FBI and DOJ work

    • eka

      oh man that would be sit-com awesome.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Slightly fussy constitutional law scholar ex President and corrupt slob current president share an investigation…

        • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

          One is by the book, the other is a deranged criminal with ties to an enemy state

          • Mehmeisterjr

            The Odd Couple.

        • PubOption

          It would be…odd.

      • georgiaburning

        Joe Biden as the funny detective, Bernie Sanders as the old crazy sergeant, Will Ferrell as Barney Miller

  • Oneofthebobs

    Maybe Trump thinks keeping Lieberman close will make him seem less whiney.

    • Nounverb911

      Lieberman will always be whiney.

      • weejee

        Maybe Ivanka could help perk him up?

  • Reximus

    Another car-into-crowd on Staten island?

    https://twitter.com/Breaking911/status/865256434799435778

    • Chadwells

      FFS…what is going on over there?!

      • Reximus

        looks like it was yesterday, 2 car smash-up, assholes decided to re-post it

        • Chadwells

          yesterday…today…still pretty terrible.

      • GoutMachine

        Lots of drugs, apparently. (At least the Times Sq. guy was high and/or drunk, according to what I’ve seen.)

        • Chadwells

          Yeah…saw that too. Terrible. Guess Kushner hasn’t fixed that yet.

        • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

          The man has two previous DUIs.

        • Meccalopolis

          Big heroin problem out there

      • weejee

        DUIs going through the roof since tRump was sworn-in.

        • Chadwells

          I’m trying not to laugh…..HAHAHA!

        • Indivisible Snark Tank

          I know I’ve been drinking a lot more since November, but I refuse to get behind the wheel when I do so.

    • Meccalopolis

      They must have been on the SI expressway

  • C4TWOMAN

    We suppose there could be worse choices than Lieberman

    I’m sure Vlad The Impaler is available. I hear he’s been doing tremendous work and is getting more and more recognized everyday.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “He’ll do so much great impaling, you’ll get sick of impaling!”

    • GoutMachine

      “He has the best spikes. The best. He’ll impale you, bigly!”

    • Marion in Savannah

      You’re getting DANGEROUSLY close to libeling Vlad the Impala. Careful…

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Don’t give them any ideas. They’ll just hear “Vlad” and start saying “he’s a smart guy!”

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      If we’re floating horror stories, why not Elizabeth Bathory instead? She’ll bathe in virgin blood during her entire tenure as director.

  • BearGHAZI

    Can you imagine? If Lieberman and McConnell had a conversation? Blech!

  • Chadwells

    OT: STFU, idiot. You’re about as useful as an inflatable dart board. Fuck off, jackass.

    “Ryan: Tax reform is happening in 2017”

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/05/18/paul-ryan-trump-tax-reform-2017-238559

    • Meccalopolis

      It is impossible to kill a narrative once it gets traction: “Ryan, a policy wonk”

    • Lulu Mac

      Spineless bastard desperately trying to change the narrative says what?

  • lucidamente

    We suspect McFeely only made it onto Trump’s final list because an aide added the name and Trump always wanted to know more how governing works in the Neighborhood of Make-Believe.

    I suspect it’s because his name is “McFeely,” uh-huh, huh, huh.

  • Marceline

    At this point it doesn’t matter who he picks to run it. That person will never have the respect of the rank and file. They will essentially be a figurehead who at best is treated like an obstacle to work around or at worst they will be a subject of the investigation itself.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I find it crazy that Trump gets to hire/appoint anyone under these circumstances.

      • mardam422

        I heard he asked if Columbo was available. “Great cop. Great cop. The best. Never had to fire his gun. Not a lot of people know that.”

        • Antonin Dvorak

          I would love to see Columbo take him down; that would be extremely entertaining, methinks. Especially Trump looking out the window and seeing a beat up Peugeot in the WH drive way.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Trump is the perfect Columbo villain.

            Vain, stupid, thinks he is smarter than everyone else. Gives himself away through his own arrogance.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          And Perry Mason was a lawyer. Nobody knew that. “Was a lawyer.” Nobody said that before me.

          “Was.” My word. There was no whatever tense for that….. pastly time I can say with………………surety.

  • BigCSouthside

    Go with Ivanka

    Then she’ll write a book about her struggles in a long career in law enforcement and her hard work that got her the Director’s office

  • Lyly Sirivong

    I don’t think anyone who’s not a Trump supporter would want the job right now.

  • Joe Beese
    • GoutMachine

      Plus ça change…

      • Joe Beese

        History may not be repeating itself, but it’s rhyming like LL Cool J.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Plus ça change, plus c’est la même old shit.

      • Parakeetist

        Fromage.

        • Joe T.

          Squeaky Fromage may refer to either warm cheese curds, or an imprisoned Manson follower.

    • laughingnome

      I swear Bannon studies all the old tricks and recycles them.

      • GoutMachine

        Worst. Cover band. Ever.

      • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

        He’s pretty much followed the Goebbels playbook since Day One.

    • Lamashtar

      By the by, liberal witches are invited to join together in the monthly non-harmful binding hex on March 23.

      https://www.facebook.com/groups/OfficialBindTrump

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    Good Lord. Turns out joe (according to Joy Reid) is now the frontrunner. Are we sure he wouldn’t be loyal to Trump? Because, if so, he’s the perfect ruse.

    • Al Swearengen

      Republicans think a Democrat running the FBI will give them someone to blame for Trump. Bipartisan cover.

      • DesertedPictures

        Because that worked soooo well for the Democrats when they choose a Republican…

        • beatbort

          Lieberman is not a Democrat. He is out for himself.
          Even if he crawled back to the Democratic Party on all fours and begged, he would not be allowed inside. Sort of like Zell Miller.

          • cats530

            He’s not a Blue Dog. He’s more of a yellow-bellied, egg-sucking dog (no offense to dogs or eggs meant).

  • Helene Logan

    The Hair Furor will probably nod at Keating. The Saint Reagan patina will please the idiot base.

    • Thorn Spike

      Keating cut his teeth at the FBI infiltrating student protest groups in the ’60s and ’70s, then made his fortune as governor by privatizing prisons in Oklahoma. POS

      • beatbort

        Perfect candidate. And then there’s that name “Keating” which has echoes of the “Keating Five.” Nothing like a little nostalgia for the good old days of the Savings and Loan scandal.

      • cmd resistor

        That sounds like someone who would get on famously with Elf on a Shelf Sessions.

        • cats530

          lol – like that name for Keebler Sessions.

          • cmd resistor

            I saw someone call him that and I find Elf on the Shelf more malevolent than the Keebler elves.

          • cats530

            Yeah, some of those Elves on Shelves are creepy and even seem to “follow” you with their eyes!

          • cmd resistor

            They seem like evil spies. I guess Santa and the “knows when you’ve been bad or good” and “sees you when you’re sleeping” was a similar scare tactic but the idea is creepy. The whole surveillance thing goes well with Sessions, too.

      • Helene Logan

        I couldn’t recall why I hated him–but you just did. POS–he’s the perfect fit for this gang of idiots.

  • Persistent Demme

    Huh.
    Interesting that Trump or someone in Trumpland would think that Dems would looooove to see Lieberman in this job.
    (Besides, don’t they think he is a “Sore Loserman?”)

  • Joe Beese

    Cornell death ruled suicide by hanging.

    Fuck.

    • Lulu Mac

      My sentiments exactly.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Seriously? Aw, man…

    • Parakeetist

      No. No. No. I want a give-back. :(

    • Nockular cavity

      Shit. Why???

    • cats530

      Very sad. I wonder if he’d been diagnosed with an illness like Robin Williams.

  • baconzgood

    Usually one would hire someone with law enforcement experience to run the FBI.

    • Shanzgood

      “Usually”

    • jesterpunk

      That could apply to just about everyone Trump has appointed so far. Fill in the blanks.

      Usually one would hire someone with ______ experience to run the ______ (department or agency).

      • thewalkindude

        Or to run the country

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Usually one would be careful about who they appointed as NSA.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Pfft!!! He’s draining the swamp of all those egg headed beltway libtard insiders!!!1!1! They don’t know everything!!11!!!

      (Yes, the FBI are now a bunch libtard weak fee-fee havers in the Deep State.)

    • Lulu Mac

      “Usually”
      BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Good one.

    • Alan

      Usually one would vote for someone with a brain for president.

      • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

        Usually one would not allow the Kremlin to select our President and representatives.

        • Alan

          That too.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      “One would hire someone with law enforcement experience to run the FBI. . . with few exceptions.” Wait for the registered letter from his lawyers to follow.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Hey, why not Julian Assange for ATG?

    He’s available, he’s compromised and he’s loyal.

    The perfect combination (for the Trump Misadministration.)

  • MynameisBlarney
    • laughingnome

      I saw this on the Stern show.

      • Internet Hitler

        He’s on TV?

  • DesertedPictures

    All this speculation is useless. We all know it’s going to be Alexander Bortnikov!

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Bortnikov

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “Oh, God, what did I do? I never should have picked that asshole!”

    – Al Gore

    • Anna Rompage

      Meh, back in those days, Tripper Gore, Hillary CLinton & Joe Lieberman formed a collation that’s main purpose was to censor rap lyrics, and out of that, came the compromise to label some music with a warning that it contained “explicit content”

      • Lulu Mac

        I don’t really remember hillzy being a part of that. I thought that was totally Tipper’s bailiwick.

        • Anna Rompage

          Yep, is was back in the days when Hillary labeled black people as “Super Predators” and lobbied for lengthy prison sentences for them…

          • Lulu Mac

            The PMRC was Gore, Baker, Howar, and Nieves. The hearings were in the 80’s. The Clintons were nowhere near Washington at the time. I don’t think Hillary was involved in any way.

          • MizzMazz

            It was the 80’s. Having that label on your record guaranteed good sales.

          • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

            Yeah, no, that isn’t how it happened, so please. Stop.

      • cats530

        Judas Priest and Ozzy Osbourne – so explicit! lol.

      • HogeyeGrex

        And managed to get Frank Zappa and John Denver testifying to the same Senate committee on the same side.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mB76RphKmdM

      • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

        Hillary wasn’t part of that. And in all honesty, have you listened to rap lyrics? And pictured 11 and 12 year olds listening eagerly and learning attitudes from them? I have a troubled kid and when he was a young teenager he fell in love with rap, and I’d listen in the car with him, and oh my fucking god.

        • NellCote71

          I am one of the strongest defenders of the First Amendment. But I agree with you. I say the F word way too often, but some of the lyrics are so misogynist and repulsive that it only coursens the culture. I thought the compromise was a good solution.

      • FlownΩver

        Good ol’ Wikipedia:

        “The Parents Music Resource Center (PMRC) was an American committee formed in 1985 with the stated goal of increasing parental control over the access of children to music deemed to have violent, drug-related or sexual themes via labeling albums with Parental Advisory stickers. The committee was founded by four women: Tipper Gore, wife of Senator and later Vice President Al Gore; Susan Baker, wife of Treasury Secretary James Baker; Pam Howar, wife of Washington realtor Raymond Howar; and Sally Nevius, wife of former Washington City Council Chairman John Nevius.”

        • Anna Rompage

          Yes, that was the PMRC, and during the early-mid 90s, they formed a coalition with several politicians including Lieberman, and First Lady Hillary Clinton to try to pass censorship legislation…

          The legislation had no chance of passing, and the compromise was to put warnings on music and media that contained explicit lyrics…

          I actually lived through this time and was politically active against their efforts to censor the lyrics of music

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    I have a gift for all of you fine people. I didn’t create this, but you’ll thank me later.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a2e0fa85a32fa88ca120e0ea077c9575c71876730624b02d65dde593af7d864c.jpg

    • Chadwells

      STOP RESISTING!!!

    • Rickyphoo

      I’m making that my screen saver! It will piss the living hell out of my brother and his family.

    • NellCote71

      Body too thin.

  • jesterpunk
    • laughingnome

      Trump is probably following the Brezhnev era practice of appointing geriatrics to high level posts. Putin probably feels they are easier to control.

      • Ferroequinologist Ron

        ‘Make the investigation go away or we cut off your Geritol and Viagra.’

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      He’s not worried about 10 years, he’s worried about getting the FBI off his back NOW. Once that happens, Lieberman can piss off and die for all Trump cares.

  • Chadwells

    OT: Hmmm. Wouldn’t this imply that he, in fact, did NOT hire the “the best people?” The clown show continues.

    “Advisers Urge Trump to Hire an Outside Lawyer”

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/18/us/politics/white-house-outside-lawyer-trump.html?_r=0

    • Mr. Blobfish

      And as with all good advice, he will ignore it.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Fine by me. *reaches for popcorn bowl*

  • beatbort

    How have we Connecticut residents offended the gods to bring this asshole back onto the main stage? We traded him in for Sen. Blumenthal and had just begun to forget that he ever existed…

    • NellCote71

      So, how do you go about this trade thing? Asking for a friend. In Texas.

  • Marion in Savannah

    OT, but Charlie Pierce just informed me that Mein Fubar wanted to visit Masada on his trip to Israel but had to cancel since they wouldn’t let him land his helicopter… Shit. What’s wrong with the pilot? He certainly could have offered to “drop him off…”

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Trump identifies strongly with martyrs.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Exactly. So he should have been dropped off. From a great height, of course, so as not to damage a UNESCO Historic Site.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Can you imagine the kind of speech he would give at Masada? Those Jews would’ve understood the horrible persecution he has suffered!

          • Marion in Savannah

            Oh, cripes… I hadn’t even thought of that aspect of it all…

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Then again, maybe he wanted to go there because someone told him Masada was a family fun park. Guaranteed he wouldn’t know the fucking difference on his own.

          • jesterpunk

            ” I am the most persecuted man ever in history, no one was more persecuted then I am by the fake news media.”

            Bonus if you read that in Trevor Noah’s voice when he does a Trump impersonation.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            “Get the fuck out of here!”

            –Jesus and Nelson Mandela

          • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

            No, that’s his speech at Dachau.

          • jesterpunk

            Is this the right speech then?

            “Obama wires tapped me, its not fair he is just mad because I had the largest crowd ever in history at my inauguration and did something impossible and won the electoral collage. Here is a map of my bigly win.”

          • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

            I think that would be his speech to the EU council. To show them how strong America is.

          • jesterpunk

            Which speech is the right one then?

          • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

            Sorry, just trying to be HAHAHAH funny with my suggestions. Your first idea is also right!

          • jesterpunk

            I knew you where not too serious about it, he does seem to switch up a few speeches depending on his mood though.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Maybe they can take him to Jericho and drop him off with a toy trumpet

  • ariel_gee_398

    If anyone sees Rudy Giuliani out and about today, be sure to shout “Lock him up!”
    https://twitter.com/JoyAnnReid/status/865267806589394944

    • UnsaltedSinner

      These aren’t the leaks you’re looking for. You can go about your business. Move along!

  • Lulu Mac

    I thought it was going to be that new guy, Plad Vutin?

    • FlownΩver

      What’s all this I keep hearing about Plaid Newton?

  • BadKitty904

    OT: From the UK’s Popbitch:

    >> Bluff and tumble <<

    The Art of the Steal

    Former NBC boss Jeff Zucker was talking to the New Yorker recently about how the self-proclaimed Master of The Deal, Donald Trump, went about the negotiations for arranging a fee for the second season of The Apprentice. Trump came in demanding $1M per episode. Zucker offered him $60,000. Trump accepted.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Perfect.

    • Crank Tango

      Yeah but he was willing to do it for the exposure dollars, so winning.

      • FlownΩver

        Hasn’t he been exposing himself quite enough already?

    • YoBunnyBunny

      $1,000,000 minus $60,000 = $940,000 difference

      Trump totally meant to do that, right?

  • Chadwells

    OT: Head….desk. Masada, Islam and now NATO speech…it’s like he’s trying to piss off the world.

    “Stephen Miller Is Writing Trump’s NATO Speech, Too”

    https://www.buzzfeed.com/johnhudson/nato-skeptic-stephen-miller-is-writing-trumps-nato-speech?utm_term=.qtRDnwVOm#.irBk2RBd8

    • Reximus

      Miller can translate from Russian, then?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Had to cancel Masada (h/t Charlie Pierce) since they wouldn’t let him land his helicopter at a UNESCO Historic Site.

      • Chadwells

        Oh I know…that’s an entirely different rant!!! Hold my beer!

      • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

        He wanted to land a helicopter at fucking MASADA???? If only he was sentient enough to know what Masada actually memorializes.

  • cats530

    “Donald Trump is interviewing four possible candidates to replace James Comey as FBI director, and among them is Joe Lieberman,”

    Trumps’ most putrid pick so far! Wonder how much Joe is paying to be considered and when they have a “deal” how much the seat will cost. More than DeVos paid?

  • UnsaltedSinner

    And this is why I still don’t think Donald will be impeached any time soon.

    https://twitter.com/zackbeauchamp/status/865262405965815809

    • jesterpunk

      For anyone who says we need to reach out to Trump supporters this is reason 5280 that is a waste of time.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Precious motherfucking snowflakes in their fucking safe zones…

        ETA: Have you every heard any legit liberals deal with all the bullshit with a “Well, I’m just not gonna listen lalalalalalalalala“??? WTF?!

    • Marion in Savannah

      Okay. That fucking does it. At this point we’ve got to come up with some coded language that all libtards will understand but that people like her will think means our candidates want to screw the blahs, the poors, the muslins, etc., etc., etc., and so on ad infinitum.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      LALALA! If I pretend it’s not happening I don’t have to examine my life choices! LALALA!

    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      On the other hand, there’s some tiny, involuntary part of them that realizes this shit is falling apart.

    • georgiaburning

      Something about a river in Egypt. Also avoidance. Like when you buy a car that’s a horrible lemon but pay for repairs yourself because you just don’t want to visit the dealership ever again

  • Mr. Blobfish

    What about Jared? He’s brought peace to the Middle East and reformed government. He has plenty of free time on his hands.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Shit! Chris Cornell died by suicide. It’s been confirmed. Moment of silence.

    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      Oh, hell…

    • MizzMazz

      Dammit. RIP, Chris.

  • ToTheFarFarRight

    Joe Lieberman is a fool and ignorant, but at least he isn’t a traitor like most liberals are.

  • btwbfdimho

    Someone should warn Trump voters that the jews are taking control of everything: Jared, Ivanka, Miller, now the FBI; what’s next, big sky?

    • Marion in Savannah

      MY GAWD — the joos control Montana now?

      • btwbfdimho

        Probably since Editriccia moved there, yes.

  • Randy Riddle

    When I saw the headlines on this and read the words “Joe Lieberman”, it reminded me of the feeling I get when I run into former annoying coworkers out in public – a compulsion to flee around the nearest corner in the opposite direction as soon as possible.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I thought I was the only person who did that! I’m just not up to the drama, you know?

  • btwbfdimho

    Joe Lieberman..
    Have you noticed that January 2017 could had been the end of Lieberman’s 2nd Administration? Thanks, Electoral College, I mean Scalia…

    • La forza del resistino

      Joe v McCain in 2008 would have been a real love fest. No, I mean that kind of love fest.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Sleepy Ben and Droopy Joe – sounds like a bad Saturday morning cartoon…

    • Lulu Mac

      Throw in Mitch McConnell and you have a recipe for narcolepsy…

  • goingohm

    They should interview Eric Prince to improve the optics on Joe.

    • Jim Johnson

      Eric doesn’t have time for that now.
      He is busy mobilizing his mercenary goons and racist thugs to provide “security” at his sister’s Jesus-Schools™.

  • Rick Hill

    Idk. I think the winner will be a mystery candidate, brought in at the last second. Other than that, I think trump is looking for someone who will bite the head off a live chicken to show his commitment and zeal.Also, must look like a sheriff

    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      Preferably with lots of fake flair

    • FiveAcres

      And swear fealty

  • JD Mulvey

    Maybe Trump will pretend to offer the job to Mitt Romney –and then pull back and say “LOL – Nah Mang.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/06c5e005c46f023d8d16c13afed27d1617c1743fd4d814492575a9e18148d3c4.jpg

    • Blackest Noobs

      just take a gander at the look on Mitten’s face.
      it’s ooooh fuck me why am I here….I should have ran for Prez…I could have beaten this nitwit….damn it….where’s my fucking glass of milk!

      • Jim Johnson

        And, “how come I only get one scoop of ice cream?”

      • FlownΩver

        “I may have to be the one who starts drinking.”

  • jesterpunk

    Looks like TLM is back with a new account but the same bad material.

  • ToTheFarFarRight

    Hillary is a f*cking turd.

    • jesterpunk
    • cats530

      Are you trying to make the Sunday page here? I don’t think you’ve got what it takes. Much too pedestrian. Work on it and maybe the editor will see about it.

    • Internet Hitler

      Please share. This is one of those “safe spaces” I only hear wingnut conservative trolls talking about.

    • thixotropic jerk

      You aren’t fit to eat Hillary’s turds Fuckface

    • Dinz6315

      You aren’t even trying! Lazy! Sad!

  • ToTheFarFarRight

    Only in liberal la la land is one dude shoving his flaming appendage into another man’s enlarged b*tthole a “courageous” move.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      TLM! You’re back! How’s the closet treating you?

    • jesterpunk

      Your material is getting worse, didnt think that was possible.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Oh yay! Hey TLM!! How’s it hanging?

    • chicken thief

      I KNEW YOU’D GET THERE!!!! Which makes you feel funny in your swimsuit area – the flaming appendage or the enlarged butthole?

      Come on, you’re with friends, and we could care less how gay you are….

    • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

      Flaming appendages, you say?

      What daredevils!

      • chicken thief

        A fire eating sword swallower – now that’s some talent!

      • CindyinEncinitas

        You can get cream for that. Big, huge, pulsating tubes of cream…

        • chicken thief

          But you have to wait 20 minutes or so before reapplying. Unless you have another tube lying around, of course.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Or you’re not real careful where you’re applying it…

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Oh, it’s *you*. I thought I strapped you to the bed!

      • MizzMazz

        Mommy?

        • chicken thief

          Mike Pence?

    • MizzMazz
    • Lulu Mac
      • JustDon’tSaySurety

        You misspelled “b*tthole”

    • Terpsichord

      It’s Ok. We are here for you as you work out the confused feelings brought on by your homoerotic dreams.

    • chicken thief

      Only in conservative lala land is it acceptable to think about one dude shoving his flaming appendage into another man’s enlarged b*tthole all the time while publicly denouncing such behavior.

      Just admit the thought turns you on and accept yourself for who you are, you filthy little slut.

    • Notreelyhelping

      Sorry, but that’s not the way to spell bottle.

    • cats530

      Does your little fantasy give you a stiff woody?

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Which episode was that?

      https://i.imgflip.com/rt1yb.jpg

      • H0mer0

        (Stupid dawg!-makes me look bad!)

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Know who else thinks about ramming flaming appendages into enlarged butt holes? Mike Pence!

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4951d6a76b067f89045e38cc72f503b7111a2b06d3e811bb171f297d4bd20dd1.jpg

    • thixotropic jerk

      I don’t know about you, but I would prolly go that Vegas show if there was real flames on the appendage, sorta like a cool queer take on the old flame swallower trick, nowhaadimeenjellibeen??????

      Ok you can fuck right off now anytime Homer T Phoebe

      • ahughes798

        I wonder if it’s our old friend, Turgid Love Muscle?

  • Reximus

    per CNN: Lieberman is the pick, at present

    • Notreelyhelping

      I believe that should read: “Lieberman is the prick, at present.” Is this an apology move to Mossad? It ain’t going to work.

      Bannon must be thrilled.

  • Blackest Noobs

    if Lieberman becomes the FBI director, i might have to break my rule about not strangling guys with a Droopy-seque voice.

  • Donkey Option

    Am I the only one expecting Putin or the Russian ambassador in a really bad fake wig and mustache? “Ru-sia? I have never heard of this – Ru-sia?”

  • John Thorstensen

    Joe-mentum!

  • Blackest Noobs

    supposedly and not confirmed, the rumour mill says President Barry Obama said the following about Donald J. Trump:

    “He’s nothing but a bullshitter.”

    no, duh, Mr. President, no fucking duh, anyone with half a brain cell knows that.

    • chicken thief

      In fairness to Barry, who hasn’t said that?

      • Blackest Noobs

        if true, it’s just nice to know Prez Obama is one of us….he is one of us.

        • H0mer0

          “Gooble-gobble, we accept [him]…!”

      • HogeyeGrex

        Kind of like saying “President Obama once said ‘I’m gonna go take a leak.'”

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    I find the absence of truly incompetent right-wing nincompoops troubling. I keep wondering where Trump’s preferred nominee is hiding.

  • La forza del resistino

    On the other hand, Donald didn’t go with his birds of a feather tendencies and pick Bernie Madoff.

    • Chris

      I think he wants Bernie for the SEC.

      • NellCote71

        Why would he want Bernie for the Southeastern Conference?

        • Chris

          Securities Exchange Commission. Of course we are talking Trump here so your answer might be the correct one.

          • H0mer0

            [nb:the “/s” means Nell meant it as snark]

  • Mavenmaven

    Why not Jared?

  • DainBramage

    A great moment for Joe in 2004.

    “We are in a three-way split decision for third place,” the senator from Connecticut told supporters. “The people of New Hampshire put me in the ring, and that’s where we’re going to stay.”

  • Internet Hitler

    2 a.m.
    Donald lets out a soft burp and looks up from the TV. He blinks and looks around, fidgeting.

    “Hey, Keith? Y’know who’d make a great FBI chief?” calls out Donald, “James Woods!”

    Keith stirs slightly, goes back to sleep.

  • Vincent Ricola

    I cannot believe Joe fucking Lieberman is the frontrunner for FBI director. I sincerely thought he was dead until yesterday afternoon and then I thought it was a joke. What in the hell kind of nonsense is happening in 2017? JFC.

    • cats530

      Malignant narcissism on steroids.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      He must owe Trump a huge favor – that’s the outstanding qualification.

  • mailman27

    Joe Lieberman, 1,000 suns, FFS. This shit is wearing me out.

  • guppy06

    Lieberman’s law firm, Kasowitz Benson Torres & Friedman

    The former United States Senator for X number of years isn’t full partner? Buuuurrrrnnn…

    • Chris

      Don’t know about that but he clearly isn’t a named partner.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        In some firms, the “name partners” all died in the early 20th century. Not easy to join that club.

  • Nephilim

    “Oh, what the hell. Whoever Trump picks will suck.” I think that pretty much summarizes all articles dealing with the any new FBI Director.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Or anyone else in the Trump administration.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      He’ll pick whoever Pootie tells him to pick. Wait and see if Tass has the scoop before the US press learns about it.

  • Swampay

    FACTCHECK! Droopy Dog is not a poodle. Not even close. Lying liberal liars who lie! It’s astounding how you liberals twist the truth. EMAILS!!1!!1 BEHNGAHZI!1!!!!!11

    • NellCote71

      Take your outrage somewhere else. A few days ago, Evan referred to Comey’s freakishly adorable dachshund. Come to find out, that dog DOES NOT EXIST. That’s the real crime.

      • H0mer0

        oh, I had to re-read it to find “the droopy poodle voice.” Evryone knows he’s a basset hound. Poodles have more energy.

  • chicken thief

    It doesn’t matter who he picks, the Senate will not make any confirmations for a Preznit with less than a year left in office, right Mitch? We’ll call it the Garland Rule.

    • NellCote71

      Yes! Oh, sweet irony.

  • Portia McGonagal

    Because just what the nation’s top law enforcement agency needs is someone with absolutely NO experience. Worked for the Presidency amirite?

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Relativicus

      Good instincts!

  • Yellerduck

    “Can’t possibly drink that much.” Hah! Hold my beer. No, wait…give it back.

  • thixotropic jerk

    BREAKING! THIS JUST IN! Tricky Trimp’s new pick for FBI Top Post is:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ira94X0XNkE
    (Quinn Martin is not amused)

  • CATMAN

    Throughout his career Lieberman has sold himself as an “independent” but in actuality he has sold himself to the highest bidder which more actually fits the definition of “high priced whore”

    • thixotropic jerk

      C’mon now: Sex Worker LieberLibelzzzz!!111

  • Cliff Hendroval

    FFS, Lieberman is 75 years old and the FBI director post is for 10 years.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Trump, I’m pretty sure, is just looking for someone to play checkers with at the old folks home. Have pity.

    • Paperless Tiger

      They’re taking the nail out the coffin on this call.

    • NellCote71

      Or someone to visit him in jail.

  • tehbaddr

    Lieberman? Might as well put Klondike Kat on the job!

    !!!

    https://punditfromanotherplanet.files.wordpress.com/2015/06/klondike-kat.jpg?w=590&h=236

  • Me not sure

    … and so terror filled the hearts of America’s criminal underworld.
    BULLHORN : “This is Joe Lieberman, of the FBI. Toss your weapons out and come out with your hands up, or I’ll get very, very angry with you. Don’t make me have to swear.”

    • H0mer0

      “you won’t like me when I’m angry!”(or he could have his cousin Drippy help out–he’s STRONG!)

  • Me not sure

    … and so terror filled the hearts of America’s criminal underworld.
    BULLHORN : “This is Joe Lieberman, of the FBI. Toss your weapons out and come out with your hands up, or I’ll get very, very angry with you. … Don’t make me have to swear.”

  • Joe pretends to be a practicing Orthodox jew. During his hearing he should be closely questioned about what he will do to protect people from anti-semitic attacks by Trump supporters.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Where is that damn wooden stake? I know I had it around here somewhere. Where the hell did I put it ?

  • Scooby

    Jared! Get me a Jew!

  • BreakingDeadMen

    He settled for Droopy Dawg because he knew he couldn’t get Boris Badnuov through.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Are you kidding? McTurtle and Speaker Eddie Munster would green light Vlad himself if Lil’Donnie picked him.

  • chascates
    • Jack Strawb

      Appreciate the info, and it suggests Dems can scuttle a Lieberman nomination without expending political capital.

      Say, how do you copy and paste an image into a Disqus comment? Thanks in advance.

    • Odd Jørgensen

      Trump, bipartisan problem solver…yeah, I don`t see that label sticking any time soon. Bipartisan problem, otoh….

  • redblack

    Latin name “remora” means “holding back” or “delay”. Name refers to the ancient belief that remoras were responsible for death of Roman emperor Caligula by holding the bottom of the ship and preventing the Romans to fight against enemy ships.

    http://www.softschools.com/facts/animals/remora_facts/1334/

    seems fitting somehow.

  • marshlc

    Honestly? The guy’s name is Dick McFeely?

    I want to be twelve years old again so I can make all the jokes.

  • Panika MCD

    Cornyn told the TX press corps that he had been actually offered the position and turned it down–he’s a lot of things, but a liar ain’t one of them.

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    You know that the P-grabber should go with Dick McFeely just based on his name.

  • Time to find out what connections Joe has to Russia!
    No, really, that is quality #1 for being a Trump hire, right? So chances are there are some, somewhere

    • Blackest Noobs

      i think Trump considered Lieberman as the FBI Director as an appeasement, a gift to the Democrats because once long ago Senator Droopy was a Democrat.

      Trump is doing his “art of the deal” thing…and maybe it works on dumb fuck business people…throwing out a bone that doesn’t really cost you anything to get the WIN.

      and color me surprised…the DEMS.WERE.NOT.BUYING.IT.

      The Democrat Senators basically in my own paraphrased told Donald to fuck the fuck off….i mean…really….Lieberman?!? Joe Lieberman?!?

      http://www.politico.com/story/2017/05/18/joe-lieberman-fbi-director-senate-democrats-238570

      • smusherface

        Thought the exact same thing as soon as I heard Lieberman was a potential candidate. I surmise it may have been the idea of the halfway rational, strategic-minded faction of the White House inner circle (Ivanka, Jared, Gary Cohn and Dina Powell, or the Democrats in Bannon-speak), in an attempt to appease Dems, so they’d quit calling for Trump’s impeachment (head on a platter like John the Baptist in Trumpian hyperbole). They knew Trump would NEVER go for a true blue Dem with any scruples (socialist in Trump-speak), because those are the “losers and haters” who are leading the “witch hunt” so they got one who’d “seen the error of his ways and converted” (and has ties to Trump).

    • Jack Strawb

      This is weird, even for Trump. If Trump’s serious he has to be calculating Lieberman won’t look too closely into Trump’s selling of U.S. foreign policy to Putin, but it would be odd if someone connected with Trump wasn’t reminding him that Joe Lieberman is who John McCain drunk dials after Lindsay Graham falls asleep.

      Or he’s just floating Lieberman unseriously, in order to fake a bipartisan look, but surely there are people in the regime who know Lieberman is roundly hated by most Congressional Dems. I can’t wrap my mind around this, to the point where I’m going to get back to tooling around with the black side of The Grunfeld Defense and….forget. Cheerio.

  • phoenix00

    My $$’s still on Barron!

    Oh wait, who’s this Mueller fellow? He just cost me multiple beers!

  • Jack Strawb

    Jesus F. Christ. Joe Lieberman??

    Why can’t Trump just govern like a run-of-the-mill, swinish Republican instead of like someone bent on destroying what little that remains of our democracy?

  • H0mer0

    so much “win” in this “article”! The droopy dog applique’ (where did you get it, I need one –Droopy is another one of my spirit animations?), John McCain’s remora, it works on so many levels….

  • Zwadny Zigashits

    Trump is interviewing people. Ha ha that’s funny. Interviewed by a dumb guy.

  • azeyote

    well he did star on Alf –

  • runfastandwin

    I dunno, I think Lieberman might be the best we can get. By the time he figures out how to do the job it’ll be 2022…

  • BearLeft

    Actually, Lieberman’s first job in self — ahem — public service was as Attorney General of Connecticut, where he distinguished himself by calling himself Attorney General of Connecticut.

  • BearLeft

    Lieberman later inspired me for the first time in my life to vote for a Republican, GOP renegade Lowell Weicker, whom Lieberman unfortunately beat for his first term in the Senate, where he distinguished himself by aligning himself with whatever advanced his own personal agenda. God save us: We’ve already got one turtleface too many in our federal government.

  • Ulricii

    I can’t think of a more appropriate end to the party-hopping career of Joe Lieberman than strapped to the mast of Trump’s Titanic as it hits iceberg after iceberg sinking into the deep. And to think Lieberman is volunteering for the job! Priceless.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Lieberman was a pain in the ass for his role as national scold during the Monica Lewinsky kerfuffle. But he really got on my shit-list-for-life when he threw his own campaign for Veep on the Democratic ticket in the toilet by siding with the asshole opposition on the question of overseas ballots from military members that were cast AFTER the fucking election date. Christ, what an asshole.

  • Lily412

    I didn’t know about the party switch. That explains a lot. I used to have a lot more respect for Lieberman in W. Bush’s first term.

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