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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

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  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Jeffocaster in the East

    Another day. Trump fucks up. his people cover for the fuckup. Republicans do nothing about it. Trump tweets he is the greatest.

    Coffee…..maybe a muffin. Back to house work…..

    • The Wanderer

      Hmm. Cherry and cheese Danish from Panera, with coffee. (makes a note for tomorrow morning).

  • Nounverb911
    • Michael R

      ” you just call …….
      out my name …. “

    • FlemmishSpy
    • Bobathonic

      Wow, he got up to ramming speed pretty fast.

    • ariel_gee_398

      “Disgusting display of collectivism. Don’t tortoises have bootstraps?” – Paul Ryan, probably

    • Dudleydidwrong

      “Turtles, turtles who need turtles,
      Are the luckiest turtles
      In the world…”

      (Hey, Mitch–see this?)

  • Randy Riddle

    Well, at least he hasn’t shot anyone on 5th avenue. Yet.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      We know that because he would be bragging about the biggest bullet hole, the very biggest.

    • Nounverb911
      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Breitbart: liberal gets in way of Trump’s bullet aimed at terrorist

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Thank you for making me chuckle. I’ve been out of bed for one hour and already I want to crawl in a hole and fill it in on top of myself.

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            I know what you mean.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Suckessfull businessmen sometimes do these types of things. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

    • Parakeetist

      My luck, it’d be me, coming out of a museum.

      • The Wanderer

        The Museum of Sex is very nice.

  • schmannity

    Trump has definitely let the clam out of the can.

  • schmannity

    Maddow 2020.

  • Greyhame
  • Lulu Mac
    • snark-lurker

      oh plz take me with you to Sugar Island

  • Nounverb911
  • MynameisBlarney

    Trump plagiarized speech from Legally Blond…
    Seriously.

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029070405

    • Vincent Ricola

      Sounds right.

  • The Wanderer
    • Turgid Love Skwerl

      media.giphy.com/media/oAoh3hxLwC6Os/giphy.gif

    • snark-lurker

      tumphster was never cute

  • Vincent Ricola

    That wise-ass artist in DC is my hero.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    None dare call it treason. OH WAIT! I found someone who dares call it treason:
    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/472447734860218369

  • Nounverb911
    • Lulu Mac
      • alwayspunkindrublic

        But she’s so shrill. And those pantsuits!

        • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

          And that hair! Plus I read she was medically dead during most of the campaign. ZOMBIE CLINTON!

      • snark-lurker

        srsly i donut think she is laughing anymore

        • HazooToo

          THAT. I look at all these stories lately, and I can’t help but think she must be fucking furious.

          • LucindathePook

            Also sick to her stomach. I mean, I am.

      • Parakeetist

        Come back, Real President!

  • Mpeg

    “in the daylight (the newly hatched sea turtles) are most vulnerable… many will drown in the crashing waves”

    Yikes! NICE TIME “With Exceptions”, is it?

    • Rick Hill

      Well, a lot will also be consumed by predators when they clear the surf so it’s not all bad.

      Wait….

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      But there’s not a one that would do that for Mitch McConnell!

    • cmd resistor

      I watched it without sound so missed the sad words. I once happened on a bunch of them running to the sea and it was way cool.

  • Hey! I just read EO E9-31418 and it says the Presedent can blab to spies all he wants! Just kidding, NOT!!!

    PART 3—DECLASSIFICATION AND DOWNGRADING
    Sec. 3.1. Authority for Declassification. (a) Information shall be declassified
    as soon as it no longer meets the standards for classification under this
    order.
    (b) Information shall be declassified or downgraded by:
    (1) the official who authorized the original classification, if that official
    is still serving in the same position and has original classification authority;
    (2) the originator’s current successor in function, if that individual has
    original classification authority;
    (3) a supervisory official of either the originator or his or her successor
    in function, if the supervisory official has original classification authority;
    or (4) officials delegated declassification authority in writing by the agency
    head or the senior agency official of the originating agency.
    (c) The Director of National Intelligence (or, if delegated by the Director
    of National Intelligence, the Principal Deputy Director of National Intel-
    ligence) may, with respect to the Intelligence Community, after consultation
    with the head of the originating Intelligence Community element or depart-
    ment
    , declassify, downgrade, or direct the declassification or downgrading
    of information or intelligence relating to intelligence sources, methods, or
    activities

    • Turgid Love Skwerl

      So could Hillary.

      • If the classified info originated from the State Department, yup. Correct. Hillary would only have to ask herself.

        But I’m guessing this Intel did not originate inside Trumps office.

        • From Russia with Love

          Every general in DoD is a classification/declass authority. I suspect that department heads and senior leaders of other departments are as well.

          But declassification is a process if it’s not on an automatic downgrade schedule, a process which Donny
          1) likely didn’t follow and
          2) likely didn’t know about and
          3) likely doesn’t give a shit about.

          • That’s not what Executive Order 13526 of December 29, 2009 Classified National Security Information says. I just read it. Have you????

          • From Russia with Love

            I had a top secret/SCI clearance in the DoD from 1980-2015.

            Some stuff is marked Declass On: OADR, which requires downgrade actions by the originator.

            Other routine information is on a schedule, typically 5 years for confidential, 10 years for secret, and it says Declassify on:xxxx date. Nearly everything in DoD is classified. The scheduled downgrade is to keep the declassification process from choking the person responsible for downgrading it.

            If you are really interested in the minutiae, here is a pretty good reference:

            http://www.dtic.mil/whs/directives/corres/pdf/520001_vol2.pdf

            DoD Information Security Program: Marking of Classified Information

    • shivaskeeper

      The problem is going to be this was another country’s info. This was not something that originated with any of our agencies. There was no consulting with the originating agency since it wasn’t our agency.

      Also he did not declassify it. He just shared it with an adversary. Apparently the info is still as classified as it was to the rest of us and our allies.

      • You can’t share classified info with people with no security clearance. Like Russian spies. Not legally. Please post the paragraph of any law allowing this????

        • shivaskeeper

          It’s not allowed. That what I have been saying. The head of an agency is usually the classifying/declassifying authority for that agency’s info. They can classify, upgrade, downgrade, or declassify as they see fit within the rules. They can also share the info with whoever they deem “need to know” as long as who they are sharing with has the appropriate level clearance.

          The President can do the same with any of the agencies info. With the same rules. He does not get to declassify and share with the Russians and then reclassify it. They had no “need to know” when some of our own allies hadn’t even seen this yet. Nothing works that way.

          The current EO covering this is EO 13526 dated Dec 29, 2009:

          https://www.gpo.gov/fdsys/pkg/CFR-2010-title3-vol1/pdf/CFR-2010-title3-vol1-eo13526.pdf

          The declassifying section is in part 3, section 3.1

    • cmd resistor

      Someone on TV was comparing it to Reagan declassifying info about the Russians shooting down the Korean airliner and how he went through steps, talking to advice type people, before he did it. Not that you have to apparently, but one would think that a reasonable person WOULD. But then, Trump.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    My stomach flipped over at the tweet somebody posted last night that the intel provider is probably already dead. Jesus, we want to get rid of this literal menace to the entire world as much as anybody, but not to the point of sacrificing human life to do it.

  • Nounverb911
    • The Wanderer

      Ho ho. The lady on the right looks like she may have the Trotskys.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        O-face means she’s thinking about Trump kissing Spicer.

        • The Wanderer

          I can see where that slash fic would appeal to emetophiles.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Just Putin that out there, huh?

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Do I have to get the Fox transcripts about Hillary’s emails? (SMH)

    • Judge Mints. Take one after every trail.

      • The Wanderer

        So Lord Dampnut gave away intel from Egypt, eh? Isn’t that what “despite de Nile” is about?

    • weejee
    • cmd resistor

      Those idiots should be ashamed of themselves.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Looks like WanaCry might be the North Koreans…

    Or a 400 pound fat guy in his mother’s basement. Who will Traitor Trump pick?

    • snark-lurker

      trump is the fat guy in the basement

  • I guess the GOP Congress will be issuing apologies to the Rosenbergs now that it’s okay to share super-duper top secret information with the Russians.

  • Mary Sandoras

    LOL, I love the Spicey cut outs.

    • BosGrl

      That and Melissa McCarthy zooming down the road on the podium is the only thing that has made me smile in the last few days.

  • geoffalnutt
  • SheltonTodd

    Our leader’s acts of sedition
    Have become a new tradition
    As everyone knows
    The tape clearly shows
    He’s the target of a tart’s micturition

    • From Russia with Love

      Donald is dumb
      Not much for matriculation
      But he spends a pretty sum
      For that tart’s micturition

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    While watching Ari Melber sitting in for Lawrence last night, I noticed how hard the pundits were trying not to just explode and say, “This traitorous fuck is gonna get us all killed.” I mean, it was obvious. And I can’t wait for the day when someone finally says, “The reason, Ari, that this happened is that Drumpf is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Russian Mob Inc, and everything he’s done since 2015 is living proof.”

    • snark-lurker

      doing that would have a negative effect on their careers, so…shsssss

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      You obviously missed senile white supremacist Pat Buchanan, who Tweety-for reasons no one can explain-disinterred from his crypt, thawed him out, and let him screech for a few minutes about how Trump is getting framed.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I did miss that, because Tweety makes me shouty and stabby. Add in Pat Buchanan and I’d probably go out, buy a gun, and come back and shoot my television set.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          If I’d had a rocket launcher….

      • Bebecca

        and then they trotted out George Will. Well he is new, just learning his job.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Really? Mother of God! I was already puking in the back yard by then.

    • Vincent Ricola

      I wish CNN was on that same page. All I’m hearing this morning is a sudden downplay of the seriousness of this whole thing and subject-changing stories.

      Or maybe it’s just that John Berman is a terrible, horrible, hacky dipshit that can’t even cover the biggest story in the history of our country. Yeah, that’s probably it.

      • cmd resistor

        We watched a bit of New Day and that Poppy person was pretty irate. She was asking the question, Is Trump Competent. Of course, first up on the panel was Rick Santorum so he didn’t answer that one.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    At this point Trump could walk into the Press Room, shoot someone between the eyes, and say the victim “needed killin'”, and there would STILL be some flack who would say we’re taking his words too literally.

  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger

    So?

    “When the president does it, that means it’s no illegal.” ___ R.M. Nixon

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C_8t55UXoAAq0si.jpg

    • weejee

      And tRump is a dick, too, also.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Apropos of nothing more than this picture – I loved the part of Alec Baldwin’s “cold open” on SNL where he said “I sit on every chair like it’s a toilet.”

      • Al Swearengen

        Trump always has to cover his balls with his hands when sitting. Big tell.

    • cmd resistor

      Needs irate mom to say, Wipe That Smile Off Your Face, Young Man.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    “This kind of disclosure could harm national security by jeopardizing important sources of information needed to disrupt terrorist attacks,” Wyden [Sen. Ron Wyden (D-Ore.)] said in a statement.

    Nice knowing all of you. I’ll be stocking up on canned goods.

    • ariel_gee_398

      George W. Bush’s popularity soared after a big terrorist attack. Trump is desperate for better ratings….

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I absolutely agree. He actually wants (and needs) a terrorist attack and he doesn’t care if it happens here or how many people, whom he took an oath to defend, are killed and harmed by it. No wonder he “leaked” information that would lead to the collapse of an effort to stop terrorism.

    • Turgid Love Skwerl

      Don’t forget clams!

      • Lance Thrustwell

        {sigh} you monster.

  • weejee

    Sally Yates for AG during Amy Klobuchar’s first term as Prez.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Yay! Another member of Team Klobuchar!! I just love her.

      • The Wanderer

        So she came to her senses about supporting the GOP plan to put Merrick Garland in as FBI Director?

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          I’m not entirely convinced that that would be such a bad appointment. You don’t – may I ask why?

          • eka

            because they’re already planning to flood the courts with conservative judges. we need to hold on to every non-crazy judge we can.

          • weejee

            tRump makes his replacement on the appellate bench.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            AH!! I see it all now! Thank you!

        • eka

          there was some speedy backpedaling not long after the original tweet
          https://twitter.com/amyklobuchar/status/862718826512879616

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Wait…I suspect they have vaginas, correct? Republicans will never allow this.

      • From Russia with Love

        We better go on a fact finding mission and check!

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Trump has a quick way to find out.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Once St. Louis had more than 20 dumpster fires raging overnight.

    I think Trump has managed to surpass that in D.C.

    “Duh! Winning.___ Are we tired of winning yet?”

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cmnk6UeUcAAHRMu.jpg

  • Nounverb911
  • WeaselPoo

    There really needs to be an independent investigation…to find the leaker….. and to head that investigation I nominate O.J. Simpson

    • Bill D. Burger

      Joe the Plumber still available?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Yeah. When it comes to serious investigation O.J. will take the gloves off.

  • Ghenghis McCann

    There is no suggestion Mr Trump has committed a crime as he has the authority to disclose even the most highly classified information at will.

    So what’s stopping him disclosing his tax returns?

    • BosGrl

      HA!

    • Christopher Story

      All the upvotes!

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      The NSA will be telling Trump, “Sorry. Our intel is under audit.”

  • Crystalclear12

    Can we get replacement McCain or do they even make that model anymore?

    • Shanzgood

      Aren’t they still growing parts for him somewhere?

      • BosGrl

        I think that’s the same plant who pumps out parts for Cheney. Speaking of which… he’s been strangely silent.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          He’s probably so overjoyed he can’t even speak.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          I actually think he’s appalled by Trump. I mean, shit, when you’ve lost the support of the Undead…

          • Master Contrail Program

            I’m sure he’s seeing an empty bathroom reflected in his mirror and doing some soul searching.

            Before his stem cell smoothie anyway.

          • Ghenghis McCann

            Searching for his soul?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Been obsolete since the late 50s.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Went the way of the Studebaker.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          I was thinking Edsel.

          • The Wanderer

            No Corvair love?

    • Master Contrail Program

      Tough to find the vacuum tubes and Dippity Do to keep those things running.

    • Lulu Mac

      Seriously, though. That man revealed less to the KGB after five years of torture than Drumpffuck did in five minutes of ego stroking.

      • Gigglesnort

        But I always thought he would have benefited from a few more years of North Vietnamese political re-education.

    • Lulu Mac

      Seriously though. That man revealed less to the KGB after five years of torture then Drumpffuck did after five minutes of ego stroking.

  • Master Contrail Program

    Trump shot a man in Reno, just to prove his bonafides.

    • therblig

      or Riyadh

  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger

    “Look in the bushes! Where the fuck are they?”

    [дерьмо!
    White House Staff ‘Hiding’ as Russia Chaos Engulfs West Wing
    ‘Do not ask me about how this looks, we all know how this looks,’ said one
    senior aide, after Trump gave highly classified information to Russian
    officials.
    Lachlan Markay Tim Mak Asawin Suebsaeng Jana Winter

    05.15.17 8:10 PM ET
    White House and administration officials are reeling at news that President Donald Trump shared classified information with Russia’s top diplomats during an Oval Office meeting last week.
    Communications staff and senior staffers at the White House
    were literally “hiding in offices,” according to a senior Trump aide, as
    a gaggle of White House press stormed White House hallways just after
    the Washington Post story broke on Monday evening.“Do
    not ask me about how this looks, we all know how this looks,” the
    senior aide told The Daily Beast on Monday evening. Trump administration
    officials spoke to The Daily Beast on the condition of anonymity so as
    to speak freely. The aide described a scene at the White House as tense
    and “a morgue,” where senior officials such as Sean Spicer, Sarah
    Huckabee Sanders, and Stephen Bannon convened to sketch an immediate
    path forward in handling the aftermath..]

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2017/05/15/white-house-staff-hiding-as-russia-chaos-engulfs-west-wing?source=twitter&via=mobile

    • therblig

      “Sean Spicer, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, and Stephen Bannon convened to sketch an immediate path forward in handling the aftermath.”

      Meanwhile, SNL writers convened to path an immediate sketch.

  • The KGB Ate Our Votes

    Monday Trump is always fucking things up for Tuesday Trump.
    Tuesday Trump is always fucking things up for Wednesday Trump.
    You get the picture.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    Re: Spicey Hedge Art in WaPo

    Kadonaga thinks many people might be sharing the photos out of
    sympathy for Spicer. She told Canadian Broadcasting Corp. News
    that everyone has been in Spicer’s situation at least once — times in
    which they’ve been told to go out and do a job without the right tools
    or information.

    “I think it really struck a chord with people, realizing, ‘Gee, that could be me up there,’ ” she said.

    “I do feel sorry for the guy,” she added to the Canadian Press.

    Canadians. So goddamn nice about EVERYTHING!!!!!! Jeeez…

    • Master Contrail Program

      Well, they did give us Nickelback.

      • Maria Sewell

        And Bieber. You’re welcome.

    • shivaskeeper

      No. Just no. He went into that job with his eyes wide open. No sympathy for his.

      Besides, what is the exchange rate for Canadian sympathy?

    • jaspersdad

      Canadian here. Fuck that shit.

      • Yr. Gma

        Moi aussi.

  • Chadwells

    European country whom aided in collecting leaked intel just announced that if the story is confirmed…they will no longer share intel with the fucking US.

    So Fuckface has just made our country less safe and less able to fight ISIS. un-fucking-believable

    • The Wanderer

      Simply marvelous.

    • jaspersdad

      ISIS was defeated nearly 3 months ago, weren’t they?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      His secret plan to destroy ISIS in 90 days doesn’t seem to be working out quite the way we hoped.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        ISIS, U S, they all sound so similar.

    • ariel_gee_398

      And yet, if we survive this, at least 50% of voters will still think the ideal president is a CEO you’d like to have a beer with rather than someone who has even the tiniest clue what the fuck they’re doing.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Who doesn’t love a non-alcohol beer, burnt steak, and three scoops of ice cream on chocolate cake?

        • chortlingdingo

          Don’t forget the copious amounts of ketchup for the steak.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            That alone should be cause for impeachment.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        I have yet to meet a CEO who does not understand the concept of an Non Disclosure Agreement.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Do you know which one?

      • Chadwells

        Was not mentioned. Classified as the intel, I reckon.

        • Kakkeltje

          Oh, so we can just wait for Trump’s tweet then.

          • Chadwells

            yup!!!!

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        Does it matter? They will all abandon us. We are doomed.

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          Well matters a bit I know both Dutch and German intel provided some major info recently.

  • Scooby

    McMaster was Spicered!

    • snark-lurker

      McMaster has been reduced to spicettey

  • Bill D. Burger

    Sewer rat Ann Coulter jumping ship?

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C_5qxnMXUAElr7b.jpg

    • The Wanderer

      The Dumbth is still strong with Coulter.

    • snark-lurker

      she is such a card

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Oh, she’s a clever one, isn’t she.

      • eka

        when the self-serving rats start to jump ship, it means something. question is, who will abandon and who will go down with the ship?

    • ariel_gee_398

      Fascism, nepotism, who can tell the difference between all these isms.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    The most generous possible interpretation of Trump’s disclosing secrets to the Russians is that he wants to kick-start a moribund relationship between Russia and the US, and he figures that’s worth pissing off an ally. But even that generous interpretation pretty much indicates he’s a weak, manipulable fool, if he thinks the Russians will meet him halfway because of this un-earned olive branch.

  • The KGB Ate Our Votes

    Telephone.
    Telegraph.
    Tell Donald Trump.

  • Nounverb911
  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    You forgot to mention Erdogan is visiting Trump today and everyone is wondering if Erdie will take Gulen back home as a gift from Fuhrer #45

    • I’ve been wondering this for a while.

      Well, a subpoint of all the other points i’ve been pondering with the trump administration.

      (I think he needs a court approval though.)

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Like Trump plays by the rules.

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    Somewhere, Valerie Plame is banging her head against a wall.

    Republicans have a history of jeopardizing people (and information gathered) in the intelligence community. It’s amazing that so many in that community still support them.

    • Master Contrail Program

      The military also; too.

      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        I understand the authoritarian tendencies of the military: do not question orders.

        I have close relatives with involvement in military intelligence though: critical thinking is a life-saving requirement.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • CogitoErgoBibo
    • Bill D. Burger
    • eka

      is this about the seth rich thing that my leftist friends have been circulating on facebook to the point that I’ve unfollowed another handful after telling them off for doubting reliable sources on other issues and circulating right wing conspiracy theories?

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        I was thinking Vince Foster (to go with another conspiracy theory), but yours works too.

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Ugh. I have one of those friends. They’ve turned into some unholy right/left wing extremist.

  • eyelashviper

    So, Gopers, when ya gonna dump this homicidal maniac in the Offal Office?

    http://editorialcartoonists.com/cartoons/SorenJ/2017/SorenJ20170516_low.jpg

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Republicans prove every day that they are unfit to govern.

    • Master Contrail Program

      They’re barely fit to wear people clothes.

      • Lori

        What’s the alternative? FSM knows no one wants them running around naked. We’re suffering enough already.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      Dead-on accurate.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Sadly, not an exaggeration. The dipshits were all over Chelsea’s tweets today asking her why her mother killed Seth Rich.

      I’m usually a peace-loving and non-violent person, but my gawd, I want to throatpunch every single one of these lying sacks of pus. Repeatedly.

  • ariel_gee_398

    I hate David Brooks and generally believe he should not be given air time or column inches. HOWEVER:
    “We’ve got this perverse situation in which the vast analytic powers of the entire world are being spent trying to understand a guy whose thoughts are often just six fireflies beeping randomly in a jar.”
    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/15/opinion/trump-classified-data.html

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      “Which brings us to the reports that Trump betrayed an intelligence source and leaked secrets to his Russian visitors. From all we know so far, Trump didn’t do it because he is a Russian agent, or for any malevolent intent. He did it because he is sloppy, because he lacks all impulse control, and above all because he is a 7-year-old boy desperate for the approval of those he admires.”

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        And because he loves him some Putin. The Russian Puppet should not be excused from endangering U.S. allies just because he’s a fucking idiot. THIS SHOULD NOT BE MINIMIZED!

      • Zyxomma

        Seven year old LIBELZ!! He’s two. That’s why I call him Dictator Tot.

    • Edith Prickly

      LOL. When you’ve lost David Brooks…

      • Turgid Love Skwerl

        You’ve lost the handful of old New England Republicans that still think it’s 1950s in America.

        • vivian

          Paging Dame Noonington…

      • SeeTrain65

        … get away quickly so he won’t find you again.

        • Edith Prickly

          I told him to meet me at the Applebee’s Salad Bar.

    • Maclare

      Sometimes he’s right like a broken clock.

    • eyelashviper

      He has actually developed a brain since Trump was campaigning and then “elected” and has been quite brutal in his columns, and also too, sometimes funny.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Cheating on his wife, then marrying his young Christian intern while pontificating about “character” seems to have gotten him out of the doldrums.

        • eyelashviper

          I missed that….some folks get inspired by strange things..

    • vivian

      Fireflies beep?

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Forget it, he’s rolling.

    • Internet Hitler

      Trump is gradually bringing us all together.

    • Hollandaise

      Brooks’ finest hour.

    • Zyxomma

      I would agree, but fireflies don’t flash randomly. They coordinate.

  • Crystalclear12

    Would someone please tell Republicans “he doesn’t know any better” is not a good defense?
    It’s a scary defense.

    • Rick Hill

      “But….but…Beer summit!!”

  • eyelashviper

    And all the tech wizards cannot protect us from the Hoofwanker-In-Chief

    http://editorialcartoonists.com/cartoons/SiersK/2017/SiersK20170516_low.jpg

  • Chadwells

    Going to vote. Democracy must move forward!!!!

  • eyelashviper

    Maybe we all should head to the nearest bunker when the Jizzing Cockwomble heads overseas…question is, in what country will he have a meltdown and call in a nuke strike somewhere?

  • Master Contrail Program

    “I gotta tell ya, Vlad. Presidentin’ is hard. So I signed an executive order changing all of our encryption keys to Password1. Now I can start taking four-day weekends.”

  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

    OT: This is screen grab of the Melissa McCarthy sketch from SNL. It’s the initial shot of Spicey driving his podium in NYC. Check out the name on the truck behind him https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/03b9052186ed2e14ced0d2e1e18a847f97ce99848633147e599f8bc5f531b2d4.png

    • Is that SNL or the sky god having a laugh?

  • Chadwells

    Record turn out for voting at 7 am…JUST ME!!!

    • Yr. Gma

      I mail mine in cuz 7 am is too early to get out of bed.

      • Chadwells

        I should have done the same. They didn’t even have my table set up…so I have to go back after work. Thankfully Fairfax high is on my block!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Get the word out: Telegraph, Telephone, Tell Trump
    [World
    U.S. Officials ‘Warned Israel’ Not to Share Sensitive Intel With Trump By Jack Moore On 5/16/17 at 6:05 AM

    U.S. intelligence officials reportedly warned their Israeli counterparts
    to exert caution in sharing top secret information with Donald Trump’s
    administration for fear of it being passed to Russia and then to
    Moscow’s ally and Israel’s arch-enemy, Iran.

    Discussions between U.S. and Israeli security services prior to Trump’s
    inauguration on January 20 gave rise to concerns that sensitive
    intelligence might exchange hands between him and the Russian
    government, Israeli newspaper Yedioth Ahronoth reported in January.]

    http://www.newsweek.com/us-officials-warned-israel-not-share-sensitive-intel-trump-609782

    • The Wanderer

      Oy, such a putz he is, I’m telling you . . .

  • Rick Hill

    trump doesn’t just want to break the record for most scandals. He wants to bury it

  • Bemused Australian

    Shouty Spice will explain all from the bushes out front of The Watergate. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f2107b9a1bc82c4fba63c667b234c4a51ed1011877000657d88660f7cc29e63a.jpg

  • Bill D. Burger
  • The Wanderer

    OT, and an open question for the group:
    I have commissioned artists to portray various historical personages as anthropomorphic animals. What would Trump be?

    • Doug Langley

      The dodo.

      • The Wanderer

        Hmm, never seen an anthro dodo.

        • Doug Langley

          Cuz they’re extinct. Appropriate, no?

          • The Wanderer

            True!

      • Yr. Gma

        A Wonketeer might object to that.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Gibbon? Of the shit variety?

      Actually, you should probably go with orangutan, as he has never been able to deny convincingly that he is one.

      • The Wanderer

        Hmm, about the right shade of orange, too.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        That’s an insult to orangutans who are marvelous, intelligent, thoughtful creatures.

      • chortlingdingo

        That’s an insult to orangutans, really.

    • Dudleydidwrong
      • The Wanderer

        (snickers)

        • Dudleydidwrong

          I know there are many good candidates for an animal to capture the essence of Trump but I offer the banana slug for these reasons:
          1. Coloration
          2. Length and quality of slime trail
          3. Speech articulation and coherence
          4. Adorability

          I realize that the slug wins in all categories and the species is terribly insulted by the nomination but even slugs have to take one for the animal kingdom on occasion.

          Gibbons, even shitgibbons, are too close to us in terms of evolution to be possibily tied toTrump.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Slug libelz!

    • NastyBossetti

      Naked mole rat.

    • Master Contrail Program
    • natoslug

      He will always be a massive shit to me . . . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3ce953f2de952297542ec8bf8acbe9862c985ec2676f1f05fd16d6b4cdf9e920.jpg

      (remind me to never rescue a yellow lab again)

      • That looks like Trump’s chalk-lined corpse.

    • Red Bird Ω

      albino snake

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      This would be hard to draw, but…

      You know that fungus that infects ants, consumes their brains, then causes them to climb to the top of grass stalks so they can be eaten by birds who disseminate the fungus in their droppings?
      A parasite that makes its victims insane so they work against their self interest, and thrives through shit being spread? Trump in a nutshell.

      • Zyxomma

        Cordyceps (one of many types). They’re also a medicinal mushroom, and quite useful for that. I can’t think of any use for a trump if I’m not playing bridge.

    • Yr. Gma

      Seems a shame to dishonor any of God’s creatures by Trumpizing them.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      Probably next to all the Democratic spines

  • Doug Langley

    OT: Update on job hunting. Just got in touch with a guy who’s a filmmaker and has several animation projects to go. I said I’d be delighted to do it, I need the work. Then he mentioned it would be completely unpaid.

    What the flying fuck is it with people??? This isn’t the first time I’ve run across this, but jesus h christ holy smoley. Where do people get the idea all this is amateur hour and that they can hire professionals who will gladly be slave labor for their imbecilic schemes. Four minutes of animation would be a good two months of work, and even if I could afford it, I still wouldn’t do it, just to teach him it’s a goddamn business and he’s got to learn to treat it that way.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      You’re an animator? I’m very jealous, while also recognizing that it must be hard to make a living that way…

      • Doug Langley

        Among other things. But don’t be jealous, it’s painful to make a living. Not even trying nowadays. But I’m so damn desperate for work that I grabbed at this thing. Sorry I did.

        Doesn’t matter if it’s some starry eyed freelancer or a big company, NOBODY thinks I’m worth paying money. It is fucking killing me.

        • UnsaltedSinner

          I guess the internet has fooled people into thinking that getting stuff for free is the norm. Hope you find someone who knows better.

          • Doug Langley

            Ran across this shit even before that. Attended film groups years ago. So many people saying “Gosh, if only someone could help make my dreams come true!” I’d offer to take the job, then they say “But I can’t afford to pay anything.”

          • UnsaltedSinner

            Man cannot live by bread alone, but it does come in handy.

          • Doug Langley

            I think my favorite time was when a business owner tried to hire me to do animation promoting his product. He looked me right in the eye and said “Now, Doug. I don’t want good animation. I don’t want great animation. I want the absolutely best animation possible!! Oh, and there’s nothing in the budget.” That didn’t last long.

          • C4TWOMAN

            That’s even more inexcusable. If he had a budget for advertizing, he could pay you.

    • Internet Hitler

      You are a “creative”. This means the supermarkets will accept your “exposure” as payment.

      • Doug Langley

        Yeah, I’ve been there.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          I tell those guys that people die from exposure.

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        Isn’t this how Trump “paid for” his weddings?

        • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

          And those child singers at one of his campaign events

    • C4TWOMAN

      I ran into this trying to sell short stories for magazines. They want to offer ad space. In retrospect considering the mags were new/alternative press and ad space is OMG $$$$, it was a reasonable offer at the time. But I needed to pay bills.
      What I don’t understand is a company firm that has plenty of cash flow doing this. If they don’t want you on the pay roll, they can treat you like a contractor. Unless you’re interning, working for “fun” is ridiculous. You could spend that time finding a real J.O.B.

    • Yr. Gma

      The guy’s an asshole.

      • Doug Langley

        Ya think? It’s mind boggling how many people in the world are convinced all their problems are solved if they can just get slave labor. Like my school. I’d still be teaching there if they hadn’t suddenly decided to cut hours and cut tutoring and cut rates and they were really, really mystified why people couldn’t afford to work there anymore.

    • Zyxomma

      Half a year ago, I was offered a one month gig as a copy editor. It was far enough away from my neighborhood that it would be three hours of travel round-trip, during rush hour. It paid $15/HOUR. Who works as a copy editor for $15/hour?? I won’t even proofread for that little.

    • LucindathePook

      Doug, I totally sympathize. Unfortunately, I was an editor for years and in the last 8 or so had to turn down quite a few people who wanted to write for me, as I had absolutely no budget at all to hire people. I could get some industry people to do it for exposure, as they were paid by their employers/clients (had to walk a fine line here), but it was terrible to have to do it. Also I had to do about 95% of the work myself, which was a boatload of writing and editing.

    • SeeTrain65

      Welcome to small town journalism.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend
  • kittygrrl

    Rump knows he’s fucked so now he’s just accelerating his departure by doing every batshit crazy thing he can think of to get out of this super hard job that looked so easy on the tee vee.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      It would be oddly comforting if there were ANY kind of plan behind all this shit. But there isn’t. He’s a fucking 2 year old.

      • With a colossal ego.

        • Yr. Gma

          With a narcissistic pit in his soul that must be filled.

    • Red Bird Ω

      I hope you’re right.

    • Yr. Gma

      If he is doing that, he’s unaware of it.

  • vivian

    This morning I received an email from my congresscritter “justifying” his vote for the ACHA. Here was my response:

    Dear Rep. XXX

    In response to your obscene justification for depriving millions of citizens health care coverage I would like to suggest that you and your family live without healthcare of any kind until such time as affordable healthcare coverage is available to all Americans.

    It is the very least you could do, don’t you think? Maybe if you understood how
    difficult your decisions render the lives of the people you represent you’d start to make better ones.

    Sincerely,

    xxxxx

    p.s. I’m taking the liberty of reposting this on every available social media outlet.

    • Yr. Gma

      I assume he’s a Rebube? Don’t want to tell us his name?

      • vivian

        Rep. John “Fasshole” Faso

    • LucindathePook

      I listened to a phone town hall by Sen. Portman (R-Idiocy) last night, who said similar. In contrast to Sherrod Brown, who paid for own health insurance from 1992 till 2010, when AHCA passed.

      “I made a promise in 1992 that I would pay my own health insurance until Congress passed health insurance for the country. I did it for 18 years,” Brown said on Thursday. “My wife and I went on the plan two weeks ago that every other federal employee is eligible for – not just Congress.”

      • SeeTrain65

        “That’s our Rob!”

  • Bill D. Burger
    • The Wanderer

      Pretty basically, yes. None of the GOP leadership have any balls or spine.

      • Lori

        This isn’t a lack of balls, it’s a lack of caring. They don’t give a crap what Trump is doing, they just want their giant tax cut for the rich. That’s much, much worse. A lack of courage is at least somewhat understandable. It’s hard to be brave. Not giving a shit what happens to this country as long as the donors are happy and their campaign contributions keep flowing is unconscionable.

      • Doug Langley

        Well, when you go to that much trouble to steal an election, you don’t really want to throw it all away.

    • Red Bird Ω

      When do we start deporting Russians?

      • phoenix00

        Never. Browns and blahs first.

  • Panika MCD

    a) Cornyn would probably do a good job (he did a great job as AG including appointing Dems to a ton of high profile positions), but no one wants to see who gets appointed in his stead because it is probably Dan Patrick Danny Goeb. you think Ted Cruz is bad, meet the one who is obsessed with your bathroom habits.

    b) that NYT article is all kinds of fucked up. their numbers are wrong, their understanding of what’s going on is wrong and their understanding of the transition from WHP to TWHP to THWP is flawed at best. will explain more later.

    • SweetDeeKat

      Please, because this looks majorly fucked up. I can’t believe Texas would do something positive for women.

      • Panika MCD

        let me get to the gallery and assure all my little reporters are there and I’ll work on it.

      • Panika MCD

        and please cease and desist all painting of over 28 million people and their thousands of elected officials with one brush, thanks!

        • SweetDeeKat

          I live here. I have a business here. I vote here. If anyone knows what politicians in Texas do, it’s me.

          • Panika MCD

            I work in the Pink Dome, cover Senate Finance and don’t think it’s a good idea to pretend that over 1,227 school districts, 254 counties and 1,221 municipalities are all the same. it’s even silly to pretend that the two chambers of the legislature are anything alike and incapable of passing good legislation or that the over 200 state agencies are all rotten.

            good bills don’t make headlines, but you’re not going to get screwed by most of the 1,200-1,500 that will pass. (may be a little lower this year.)

            I also work on campaigns down here so I may know a few more elected officials. thanks! don’t paint the state with the same brush. if you live here, you know you’ll be down to a nub 1/16th the way across Harris Co.

          • Chris

            Then you must remember Ima Hogg protesting the City Commission members in the men’s room in Houston back in the Seventies.
            My first six months in Houston included the above, the ungodly Dean Corel mass murders and the almost monthly murders of straight women who made a habit of hanging out with gay men. I wondered what fresh hell I’d moved to.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      What are the acronyms.

      • Panika MCD

        see, this is where I need more time. give me time.

      • Panika MCD

        WHP: Women’s Health Program passed in 2005 and was a matching program which was 10% state funded, 90% federally funded to provide reproductive healthcare to not-pregnant women of child bearing age. always banned abortion providers from qualifying for funding, but PP created a separate legal entity for its non-abortion providing clinics and provided 54% of the care in the program.

        TWHP: after TX kicked PP’s remaining clinics out because they had the same name in 2011, the federal government pulled its funding. they resurrected the program as the Texas Women’s Healthcare Program which cost the taxpayers 10X more and served about 1/3rd of the women it had before. that combined with the sonogram law increased our Medicaid funded birth rate from 43% to 51% (it’s now 52%).

        HTWP: the Healthy Texas Women Program was rolled out last summer as a consolidation of the TWHP and two other programs they had overlooked kicking PP out of (namely breast and cervical cancer screening as well as STD screening and prevention).

        here’s the trick: there were draconian cuts to the program in 2011 because there were draconian cuts to all programs then. ($5.4 billion was cut from public education at the time.) the Senate Finance Committee Chair feels very strongly about family planning and while kicking PP out of these non-abortion related and abortion preventing programs, she added an additional $150 million in 2013, another $100 million in 2015 and a further $50 million in this upcoming budget for family planning services. but service providers are hard to find when you kick out every PP and Whole Women’s Health clinic in the state, so they’ve had to get creative. ENTER HEIDI’S GROUP! which is not a health clinic, but an anti-abortion group. they don’t have any medical staff or clinical space, yet they got the second largest grant for the program this year. ($1.5 million to Harris County Central Health’s $2.1 million.)

        so, yeah, we don’t want them taking Medicaid funding to give to a bunch of Evangelicals. they may as well throw it in a trash can and light it on fire to warm DC’s homeless. it’d be more useful.

  • Internet Hitler
    • Shoto

      Actual photo of Sean Spicer’s head during today’s press briefing.

  • writersbloc

    Where’s my Morpheus Meme about Irony…. cause it doesn’t get more ironic than this.
    Too bad all the Hilary Email idiots don’t even understand what’s going on.

  • WiscoJoe

    Any chance Wonkette can add Fallon to the late night wrap-up, just for fun?

    Colbert walked us through the intricacies of intelligence classifications; Meyers did a deep dive in to the increasing chaos within the White House press room; and Fallon put on a wig and sang karaoke with a dog.

    • AJ Milne

      Re ‘… and Fallon put on a wig and sang karaoke with a dog.’

      So. Bucking for a cabinet position, then.

    • I’ve thought about it, but Fallon tends not to do Trump jokes, and when he does, they’re bland or strained. He had a decent one in his monologue with Reese Witherspoon’s Legally Blonde, but it wasn’t worth it.

      • Jimmy R

        He dreams of rumpling drumpf’s “hair” just one more time.

    • Bitter Scribe

      IMO, Fallon is a disappointment. He was funny and edgy on SNL, but now I realize that was 99% due to the writers.

      • WiscoJoe

        Correction: Tina Fey was funny and edgy on SNL. Jimmy Fallon just went along for the ride.

  • Poly_Ester

    Trump’s lunacy more resembles that of Chance, the gardener than Dr Strangelove.

    • Zyxomma

      But Chance was sweet and harmless, both in the book and the movie.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Exactly. He had nothing against anyone. It’s just that he was utterly clueless about everything to do with adult life. Trump is what you get when you take Chance and make him malicious.

    • No Chance.

  • miss_grundy

    After reading the WaPo analysis article that was written with the Lawfare staff, Dolt 45 came across as a showboat tool spouting off information to bolster his ego in front of his Russian masters. This guy is way beyond a useful idiot and a tool.

    • zerosumgame0005

      Trump bragged, people get slagged…

    • Chris

      Not the showboat, not the showboat, you’re the showboat.

  • Zyxomma

    This is the conference held before the NATO summit, and it’s a good article. http://observer.com/2017/05/lennart-meri-conference-tallinn-putin-elections/

  • Chris

    Watched McMasters and felt a bit sad for him. A long valued history shot to hell. He sounded like the Cruise director giving out the activities schedule on the Lido deck.

    He asked for it, screw him.

  • Bitter Scribe

    At what point does “dumb” become “senile”?

  • Khavrinen

    “Nobody wants Senator John Cornyn to head the FBI, it’s nothing personal, they just think he might do a shitty job because he is a shitty person.”

    For FSM’s sake, people, nobody tell Trump that!! I can’t think of anything more likely to make him appoint the guy.

    • Nodrama4mama

      For the love of God, someone photoshop some pics of Cornyn drinking beers and showing off how big their hands are to keep Trump from appointing him.

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