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This is what happens when your president is an ignorant liar. Every day, we hear a few more stitches rip as the seams of our democracy give way under the pressure of our bloated Bullshitter in Chief. And the legal analysis over these Executive Orders can be boiled down to one real issue: Judges think our president is full of shit.

Last month, Jeff Sessions was shocked that a federal judge in Hawaii had the nerve to weigh in on Trump’s Muslim Ban 2.0. Is Hawaii even a state?

I really am amazed that a judge sitting on an island in the Pacific can issue an order that stops the president of the United States from what appears to be clearly his statutory and constitutional power.

Who did Judge Derrick Watson think he was telling the president that he couldn’t block travelers from six countries that just happened to have majority-Muslim populations? If Donald Trump says we need to exclude all refugees for 120 days for national security reasons, then that’s what we need. Except that no federal court yet has been willing to just take the president’s word for it. No one seriously believes that Donald Trump could even find these six countries on a map, much less that he has given serious thought to the national security needs of our immigration system.

Maybe it’s because he said of himself in December of 2015

Donald J. Trump is calling for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States.

Or because he repeated his call to ban Muslims in June of 2016.

I called for a ban after San Bernardino, and was met with great scorn and anger, but now many are saying I was right to do so.

Or it could be the facially illegal travel ban he signed into law on January 27, 2017. At the signing ceremony, he practically winked at the camera while saying, “We all know what that means.”

Or that he only took the call for a Muslim Ban off his campaign website a week ago in preparation for a hearing before the 4th Circuit.

But Donald Trump is a counterpuncher, not some sissy intellectual. He wasn’t going to make his case to the American people. Much wiser to attack the judges, right?

No, He Will See YOU In Court!

Yesterday, a three-judge panel from the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals was the latest to hear arguments on the travel ban. There was some discussion of which section of the Federal Code is controlling: 8 USC § 1182, which grants the President broad authority over immigration, or 8 USC § 1152, which forbids him to exclude immigrants based on nationality. But the predominant issue is what courts should do when they believe the executive is acting in bad faith. We can’t predict the outcome of this case based solely on the hearing. But a few passages highlight the ways that the president’s narcissistic lunacy is throwing the judicial system into chaos.

Judge Ronald Gould makes no bones about doubting Trump’s stated reasons for the ban, forcing Solicitor General Jeffrey Wall to insist that COURTS MUST NEVER, EVER LOOK BEHIND THE CURTAIN.

Judge Gould: The Executive Order sets out national security justifications. But how is a court to know if in fact it is a Muslim ban in the guise of a national security justification? […]

Wall: This is rational basis review. Is it a legitimate purpose on its face? And is it bona fide? Does it bear a rational relationship to what the government has done? […] And I think the benefit of that standard is that it doesn’t call on courts to make these determinations, the second-guessing of national security determinations that they’re sort of ill-equipped to do. […] And here you would need official capacity statements, post-inauguration that were unequivocal showing that the president and members of his cabinet were acting in bad faith.

The Court is also not pretending that Candidate Trump is an entirely different guy from President Trump. We all heard what he said on the campaign trail.

Judge Michael Hawkins: Has the president ever disavowed his campaign statements?

Wall: Yes, Judge Hawkins. He has said several things approaching that.

Throughout the hearing, the specter of the 1944 Supreme Court decision in Korematsu v. United States looms large. In Korematsu, the Court ruled that the President’s authority over immigration issues was broad enough to justify internment of Japanese Americans. The Korematsu decision is like the Keyser Söze of American jurisprudence: It represents a time in recent history when the court system really fucked up. For lawyers, it is a badge of shame. So, when a judge asks a lawyer to differentiate his position from the Korematsu holding, he’s in deep shit.

Judge Richard Paez: Would the Korematsu Executive Order pass muster under your test today?

Wall: I want to be very clear about this. This case is not Korematsu. And if it were, I wouldn’t be standing here and the United States would not be defending it.

And here we come to the crux of the issue. Acting Solicitor General Jeffrey Wall is a respected person with a lot of integrity. He can come before the Court and say, “I would not defend an openly racist, illegal order.” His boss, however, is not. Even Donald Trump’s supporters say he should be taken seriously, but not literally. Every day another person is tasked with sacrificing his honor on the bonfire of Trump’s sham presidency. Having no integrity, he hides behind Rod Rosenstein, HR McMaster, or Jeffrey Wall.

No one believes that Trump’s Immigration Order is based on national security needs. We all know damn well that he promised his racist followers a Muslim ban, and he’s doing his best to deliver on it. The only question is whether the courts are going to take the word of the decent civil servants dispatched to defend this indefensible bigotry.

And just in case anyone needs a reminder of Trump’s original motivation, a federal judge in Michigan has given the Trump Administration until Friday to produce the white paper that Rudy Giuliani referred to in his infamous interview with Jeanine Pirro. The ACLU and the Arab American League want the government to explain just what motivated its original version of the Muslim ban.

I’ll tell you the whole history of it. So when [Trump] first announced it, he said “Muslim ban.” He called me up. He said, “Put a commission together. Show me the right way to do it legally.”

So, soon we’ll see what legal wizardry Rudy and his merry band of bigots cooked up to keep Muslims out of THEIR AMERICA. As if anyone needed further proof.

[C-SPAN Oral Arguments / Buzzfeed / Lyle Denniston’s Blog / CNN / ACLU of Michigan]

Holy shit! This administration is killing us! Please contribute to the Ambien and Arugula Fund for Insomniac Elitists!

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  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • kareemachan

      Oh dear gawk, we’re skrewed.

    • So… World War 3 it is then.

    • memzilla Ω
    • cmd resistor

      NO WAY!

    • BearGHAZI

      “Thanks for inviting me to your tremendous country. The food was okay, would have preferred a Big Mac. But I like what you’ve done with the women. I won the popular vote.”

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        He will probably ask them were a good BBQ place is.

        • SterWonk

          “BBQ” is a cooking method, which can be applied to meats which are halal.

          No, he’ll ask where he can get a good pulled pork sandwich…

      • aureolaborealis

        “You probably don’t know this, but it’s way harder to tell if the tits are real under those burqas. Probably want to do something about that.”

    • Ezio

      “As the great Alex Jones once said….”

    • GoutMachine

      What could possibly go wrong?

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Most likely, the Saudis will put him under “the cone of silence” and his speech will be excerpted and sanitized before it sees the light of day.

    • Master Contrail Program

      “I love Muslims! Trump Grill makes the best shawarma! Just call me Rama Don. You guys are big on that, right? Have you seen the electoral map?”

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I’ve seen Iron Man and Captain America going “keep your mitts away from our shawarma, cheeto face.”

        • Master Contrail Program

          Turns out the Mandarin (Orange) was under our noses the whole time!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      ಠ_ಠ

    • Phoenixdoglover

      “I talked to him for like 10 minutes while we had goat. I think it was goat, maybe lamb. One thing he told me is we all have the same God. Like the same for Christians and Muslims. Not many people know this. Did you know it? Not many. And after we finished the lamb, or goat, goat? Then I said, you should come to Washington and stay in my hotel there? It serves a good steak.”

    • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel
    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I wonder if Trump has any clue that Saudi Arabia has been one of the major financiers of terrorism, including 9/11? I’m going to guess “no.”

    • Chadwells

      Is a beheading too much to wish for? (obligatory “with votes”….although, they do not fuck around over there)

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Yeah, not sure they have voting over there, as the prefer a more direct approach.

    • Turgid Love Skwerl

      Shoes will be flying!

      • YoBunnyBunny

        We’re gonna see if Trump has reflexes anywhere near as good as The Shrub.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      This is too horrifying to think about. I’m going back to bed.

    • puredog

      Is Trump left-handed? It is certain he won’t remember not to eat with his left hand.

    • “I am very honored to be here. So honored. I’ve very fond of Saudi Arabia. I’ve made a tremendous amount of money here. Tremendous. I’ve always been impressed by how they treat their women. Though, I don’t understand the whole burqa nonsense. Very hard to know if the pussy you’re grabbing belongs to a hottie or an uggo. How do you tell? You can’t.”

      (The President of the United States says how much he loves our country and its people.)

      “Now about Islam. Terrible. Terrible. So many terrorists. Which is why I’ve been trying to get a ban on immigration passed in my country to keep out the terrorists and the poor. We don’t need any more brown people in America, unless you’re fabulously wealthy. The rich have no skin color.”

      (President Trump welcomes Muslims with the capital to help him make America great again.)

      “Did you know that there are TWO main sects of Islam? Nobody knows that. But there are: Sunny and Shia. What’s a Shia? It that the little things you put on the sheep and water it and grows green and fuzzy? Anyway, I’ve been told that most of you are Sunny Muslims, which is understandable as it’s a very beautiful, but hot day here in Riyadh.”

      (The President… is an idiot. Applaud anyway. They will sell us more weapons to use against them later.)

    • DrBigHead

      Good God, they are not really going to let him do this, are they?

    • Pinkham’s Law

      So, if the Saudis decide to arrest him for blaspheming Islam and The Prophet – which you know damn well he’s gonna do – will the Secret Service allow it?

      • eka

        i’m willing to bet they will at the very least be deeply conflicted.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      It is hard to imagine a more densely packed minefield. https://t.co/HYWaga6aKX— Ben Hubbard (@NYTBen) May 16, 2017

    • The Wanderer

      So will he be wearing his ceremonial Presidential Straitjacket and Ball Gag?

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Secret Service: “Bring out the gimp!”

        • The Wanderer

          “But Pence is still with his mother.”

    • willi0000000

      t’Rump will probably offer to cater the lunch . . . ham & cheese sandwiches for everybody!!!!!

      [ that’s just a Jew thing, right? ]

  • cmd resistor

    So any word on whether the “Guiliana Memo” has been turned over in that one ban case, I think in Michigan?

  • Joe Beese

    Every day another person is tasked with sacrificing his honor on the bonfire of Trump’s sham presidency.

    And they do it willingly, mindlessly drawn to power like flies to shit.

    Fuck the lot of them.

    • goonemeritus

      He’s the Roach Motel of opportunist Republicans.

  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    I would like to see a ban on letting stupid, ignorant Americans back into the country. That way the Velveeta Tweeta wouldn’t be allowed back in the country after his first overseas disaster, or so one speculates, which is always in order.

    • GoutMachine

      Can we at least detain him at the border? I mean, he is traveling to (looks furtively around, whispers) that part of the world with those people … who knows what kind of threat he might pose!

      • At the crossroads, stay strong

        Considering his mind, or whatever that is in there, can only retain the last thing he heard, he could be radicalized ever so easily.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I would like to see legal action to deport stupid, ignorant Americans from the country.

  • goonemeritus

    It is very unfair to use Trumps words as evidence, everyone knows he is lying sack of flatulence.

    • GoutMachine

      That ol’ Republican chestnut: Quoting me verbatim is libel/playing politics/not fair!

  • chascates

    Trump is now meeting with Erdogan in the White House. What super secret will he brag about?

    • Chadwells

      Just after he decided, last week, to arm the Syrian Kurds. This should be good.

      • TJ Barke

        Viva Rojava!

      • Nockular cavity

        Now, he’ll help Erdogan bomb them. It’s the circle of life! Okay, death, same thing.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      “What about Greece? KFC is terrific!”

    • wait! what?

      Trump whispering:

      Not many people know that turkey is a sandwich.

    • puredog

      “Sibel Kekilli is one of yours, isn’t she? Loved her earlier work!”

  • Ezio

    “I called for a ban after San Bernardino, and was met with great scorn and anger, but now many are saying I was right to do so.”

    And that’s what this whole thing is about, isn’t it? Donald Trump doesn’t give a crap about the people in San Bernardino or the Orlando nightclub being killed. He cares that it was something he could use to further his own agenda.

    But obviously when 21-year old Bobby McCracker shoots up a school, he won’t be calling for a ban on white guys owning guns or anything of that sort.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      And none of it revolves around whether it was the right thing to do or if he proved it was the smartest course of action. It’s all about whether or not people like the idea. That’s it.

      • TJ Barke

        Just like the wall. Won’t accomplish anything, but the knuckle draggers love it.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Ignoring the fact, of course, that said ban would not have prevented San Bernardino from happening. Or Orlando…or….

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I’m starting to think Drumpf’s parents must have treated him like a stain on a white carpet. There’s no way to understand his incessant need to be able to say he was right, to “win” and to pretend ‘everyone’ agrees with him if you assume he had anything like a normal upbringing.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Freedom of Religion for specific sects of Christianity, only. Why, I’m sure that’s exactly what Madison et al were aiming for!

    • Joe Beese

      They didn’t even have Muslims back then!

  • Wild Cat

    If only we could have banned Italian immigrants who chose to become petty mobsters instead of productive citizens in NYC, we wouldn’t have a lispy cross-dressing envier of the Black Penis on Fox ‘News’ every night.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, we’d be rid of such monsters as Ghouliani, Alito, especially Dean Martin.

  • wait! what?

    Rudy’s white paper will start like this:

    On 9/11, I 9/11ed until 9/11ing that 9/11 is 9/11.

    • msanthropesmr

      Obama was at fault for 9/11

    • The Wanderer

      One of my coworkers just got back from attending a wedding in NYC, and was looking at archive footage of 9/11 (DRINK!)
      I reminded her that Rudy had a) scotched the attempts to put the FDNY and NYPD on the same radio net, and b) for scads of money had moved the city’s Emergency Operations Center to #7 WTC.

      • wait! what?

        Motorola warned him that putting emergency services on CDMA was a risk.

        Poor WTC7 we hardly knew ye.

        https://youtu.be/LD06SAf0p9A

        • The Wanderer

          Put the EOC in a known terrorist target. What could possibly go wrong?

      • Ms.Moon

        As a New Yorker I am privy to this. This it was rumored to also have had something to do with his mistress at the time, not Judy Nathan the one he married, but the mistress he’d had before her the one he would take to baseball games and be seen with on the jumbotron all the time while he was still married to Donna Hanover.

  • msanthropesmr

    Let me take this opportunity to apologise once again for straight white males everywhere.

    • Chadwells

      Fuckin’ crackers.

      • Chadwells

        As a rueful white man…I am allowed to say that, right?

        • Wild Cat

          Just say ‘retarded fucks.’ That works.

          • Chadwells

            Deal.

        • At the crossroads, stay strong

          Depends. Do you really hate saltines?

          • Chadwells

            No. Fake news. Damn it.

    • Wild Cat

      You’re a cisgendered bastard!

      • msanthropesmr

        Well, yes.

        • Wild Cat

          As a fellow cisgendered bastard, I have no right to apologize for the idiocy of my fellow cisgendered bastards!

          • msanthropesmr

            I don’t have a right, but it really is the least I can do.

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      I’m so glad I’m a straight pinky-russet male and have nothing to apologize for.

      • msanthropesmr

        Potatoes unite.

        • At the crossroads, stay strong

          How did you know I’m sitting on the couch at this moment?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You may do so on my behalf. I’m embarrassed for all of us who are decent human beings…the monsters get all the press.

    • SisterArtemis

      As a white people person myself, I know the feeling, but as a vagina-having person of the ghey persuasion, I don’t think you need to apologize. You need to just keep on being the kind of straight white guy who is our ally. And thank you!

      • At the crossroads, stay strong

        Frankly, I consider myself a compassionate, rational human being first and work from there

    • “M”

      Just …

      go do something about the Rethuglican ones in Congress.

      (And, you know, Racist Sessions. Because, yeah – that’s not anybody else’s job.)

      And give the Democrats a spine between them.

      The rest of us will take it from there.

  • chascates

    CNN has live handshaking between Drumpster and Erdogan.

  • chascates

    People are shouting questions about leaking to Trump. Erdogan looks amused.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      “God, finally there’s shouting and it’s not at me.”

      Or

      “He doesn’t have these people disappeared? Rookie.”

  • Joe Beese

    … White House spokesman Sean Spicer is now set to appear later, off-camera, to speak with White House reporters at 2 p.m. ET.

    Off-camera, eh?

    Sounds like Old Spice is in poor odor with his master.

  • William
    • Ezio

      Irony: When right wingers chide Muslim majority countries for their treatment of gay people (and rightfully so in some cases) but then they contradict themselves when they fight tooth and nail to pass laws to discriminate against gays in America.

      • GoutMachine

        They’re just jealous.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          This is not even a joke. The fundigelicals wish they had the power of the Saudi religious police.

          • GoutMachine

            Ayup. I think all the hatred is just trying to cover up the fact that they’re jealous the Taliban got their shit together – just with the “wrong” religion.

      • puredog

        There is an entire moral universe of difference between killing gays outright and just making them wish they were dead.

        • h4rr4r

          Considering the suicide rates for gay teens, I beg to disagree.

          These Christians would enact their own version of Sharia law if they could.

      • William

        It’s a bit like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle isn’t it?https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4368a462693c97c4ab6fe75de229316432c1df491c07968fb37721ea8a1012ec.jpg

  • Joe Beese
    • msanthropesmr

      It involved Christopher Columbus sailing the seas without a compass.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        Rumble, rumble, rumble. Mutiny, mutiny, mutiny.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      It was a wild one, right?

      • Shanzgood

        I always think of that book when there’s a rumpus!

        • Christopher Story

          “I’ll eat you up!” Sounds like our Republican congress.

    • Edith Prickly

      By rumpus, they meant “raging dumpster fire that has escaped the dumpster and is heading towards an oil refinery…”

      • msanthropesmr

        On the back of a rickety truck with bad breaks filled with TNT and ping pong balls.

        • puredog

          Remake of “Wages of Fear”?

          • therblig

            “Sorceror” with Roy Scheider

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik
    • wait! what?
  • BigCSouthside

    So is the official WH position after the McMaster briefing just

    “Look guys, he’s just…he’s just really stupid. He doesn’t mean to do this shit…but he’s just like…really dumb. Cut him some slack. Look it’s technically not illegal since he’s president and we never thought we’d elect someone so stupid, so we made declassification a presidential power.”

    • Edith Prickly

      How is anyone still working for that malignant windbag? They must know the Trump Stank will ensure they never get hired anywhere reputable ever again.

      • jesterpunk

        Because tax cuts for the rich and screwing everyone else.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      If some Major in the Pentagon tried this defense, they’d roast him alive in the court-martial.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        And then stuff him in a deep, dark hole where no one would ever hear from him again.

    • jesterpunk

      Trump admitted he did it because he could. Kind of killed the McMaster briefing position.

      • Paperless Tiger

        Not to mention subverting the government.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      “Not necessarily illegal, just really stupid” is shaping up to be this administration’s motto.

      • At the crossroads, stay strong

        How about ‘Deterioration Through Ignorance’?

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    When I read that quote from Sessions, I always envision a New Yorker-type cartoon of a judge sitting on one of those 100-square-foot desert islands with a single palm tree in the center.

  • Wild Cat

    Ooops—he forgot his quick history lesson:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsQrKZcYtqg

    • proudgrampa

      One of my favorites. Thanks!

      • Wild Cat

        Flood is a great album.

  • chascates

    Someone needs to hack into the White House cable feed so Trump can’t watch TV.

    On second thought, we’d be at DefCon One in minutes.

    • GoutMachine

      Since his aides intentionally put hoax articles in front of him, why don’t we just hack it and put our own programming on? He clearly is a weak-minded numbskull, so we could say all sorts of crazy shit and get him to believe it!

      • chascates

        24-7 SNL skits as well?

      • Master Contrail Program

        “Go fuck yourself, San Diego. I’m Ron Burgundy?”

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack
    • wait! what?

      11 fingered immigrants ate always the first to go…

      • therblig

        which is a shame because they can pull up extra carrots

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack
    • The Wanderer

      ISWYDT

    • writersbloc

      I think I need to make a t-shirt….

    • aureolaborealis

      I went immediately to Last Tango in Paris, then had to work my way back to no-so-current events.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    Judge: Has the president ever abjured his pussygrabbing behavior?

    Solicitor General: Yes, Judge, he has done several things approaching that.

  • chascates

    Trumps says ‘a lot of press’ to Erdogan.

  • chascates

    Trump says Turkish forces are great fighters. In Korea!!!

    • h4rr4r

      I think he meant against Armenians.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Someone fed him that line. There’s no way he’d ever know it on his own.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Believe it or not, the Turks actually did contribute a brigade to the defense of South Korea during the Korean war. And since it’s technically correct, there’s no way he knew that on his own.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Hey, he remembered ONE TALKING POINT. Cut the guy some slack.

      • efoveks

        My uncle was a spotter in the Korean War. He was sent out with a Turkish soldier who was there as a UN observer.

      • Querolous

        Maybe he remembered an old M*A*S*H episode where Turks and Greeks got in a fight at Rosie’s?

    • wait! what?

      Erdoğan’s first response to Donald wanting to turning Noah’s Ark into the “Two by Two Turkish Trump Tower” was a soft no.

    • Master Contrail Program

      “Istanbul to Constantinople, huh? I can relate. I get treated unfairly by the biased, failing media too.”

  • chascates

    Better not bring up that ‘Armenian massacre’ fake news.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    Before this is all over, I want all the obvious bad actors to face serious prison time–but what would I not give to have that fuckface Giuliani join them?

  • Chadwells

    OT: WTF?! As a gay woman, you should fucking be ASHAMED!!! Man, I hope people go after this fucking twat with a vengeance. Disgusting.

    “Fox News contributor apologizes for calling autistic boy a ‘snowflake'”

    http://thehill.com/homenews/media/333621-fox-news-contributor-apologizes-for-calling-autistic-boy-a-snowflake

    • jesterpunk

      So she wouldnt have apologized if he wasnt autistic?

      “I am so sorry to the family. My intention was never to hurt a kid
      and his mom. We had absolutely no idea that Michael was on the autism
      spectrum,” she said.

      As a black man…. as a women…. as a muslim…. I have _____ friends so I cant be _____. Fill in the blanks.

      “And as a gay woman and feminist, I have spent most of my adult life working to improve the lives of women and children and those who are disenfranchised,” she continued.

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        “And as a gay woman and feminist, I have spent most of my adult life working to improve the lives of women and children and those who are disenfranchised,”

        You work at Fox. Your statement is invalid.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        So it’s okay to call a child a “snowflake” in whatever alternate universe you inhabit, I guess.

        • jesterpunk

          What? No, insulting a kid isnt ok at all. For her though she is ok with insulting a kid as long as they are non autistic from her statement.

      • Chadwells

        Crazy, right?! That was no apology…it was a brush off.

        • jesterpunk

          A bad brush off too.

    • h4rr4r

      If she had any shame she would not be working for fox news.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Fair point.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The only acceptable apology in this case is a Captain Needa apology.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    From The Law Can’t Stop Trump. Only Impeachment Can.
    By Jonathan Chait
    “Trump’s gross unsuitability for office is the subtext of the constant stream of leaks that have emanated from his administration (and, before that, his campaign). James Comey told associates he found the president “outside the realm of normal,” even “crazy,” reported the New York Times recently. A Republican close to the White House told the Washington Post Trump is “in the grip of some kind of paranoid delusion.” A friend of Trump, trying to spin the latest debacle in the most forgiving way, tells Politico, “He doesn’t really know any boundaries. He doesn’t think in those terms … He doesn’t sometimes realize the implications of what he’s saying. I don’t think it was his intention in any way to share any classified information. He wouldn’t want to do that.” (This was offered as an alternative to the suspicion that Trump is deliberately undermining U.S. intelligence to benefit his Russian friends.)

    And yet, outside the inner circle of Republicans with access to the commander-in-chief, Trump’s popularity remains respectable, even solid. The conservative base is largely unaware of the constant revelations of Trump’s gross incompetence, or has been trained to ignore them as propaganda emanating from the administration’s enemies in the deep state or the liberal media. In red America, Trump remains a hero at best, and a competent, normal president at worst.

    And so, at the moment, Congress remains in the hands of a party that conceives of its role as Trump’s junior partner. His erratic behavior is disconcerting to them, but their pain is mostly private, and mostly confined to the risks it implies to their domestic agenda. The system is designed so that the only remedy for a president who cannot faithfully act in the public interest is impeachment. For the moment, that course of action — the only one that can save the country from the dire risk of its man-child president — is unfathomable to the Republicans who have a hammerlock on government.”

    So Comey thinks Trump is “crazy” but he made sure he got elected? Nice going, Comey!

    • Lefty Wright

      That is because much of the Republican base only listen to Fox, Breitbart or social media contacts with others in the same echo chamber. As noted in the Fox headlines and by their talking heads (and legs, in the case of the ladies), the leak of classified information by Trump is the equivalent of page 4 news. The REAL story is Clinton killed Seth Rich.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Or that liberals are being mean to Miss USA because she isn’t a hairy-legged feminazi or something…

        • Lefty Wright

          Obviously.

        • miss_grundy

          Why? Because they don’t share her opinion of health insurance? Because she is young and healthy so she doesn’t care if she has it. But try being middle-aged and facing a cancer diagnosis and then tell me that health insurance is a privilege and not a necessity. Ignorant little heifer.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        It’s stunning to me that 40% of the population thinks Trump is doing a good job.

        • Certified Green Bastard

          Seriously. Quinnipac has him approaching 36%, I think. C’mon you fucker, drop!

          I found this chart this morning, too. I liked what I saw. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b3f1a7c4dfea00d2f90c7ee35b2d0789d977f89c99f60406a732078fa4024168.jpg

          ETA: if you can’t read it, it’s an approval rating chart of the last 4 POTUS. Our man Barry is the top line. ShitGobbler is obviously the low-energy, short one. Sad!

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            God damned Reuters is still showing him with a 42% approval rating. I want him to have Dick Cheneyesque levels of popularity – 15%.

    • efoveks

      Incompetence of being so incompetent they don’t realize they are incompetent. See also: never-passed-nor-took-a-real-class-in-science.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    If Jeff Wall was really a person of integrity, he would not be defending this order. He would have resigned.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, you’ve answered the question in the question itself.

    • Lefty Wright

      So would every member to Trump’s staff. Including his cabinet. And about 90% of the Republicans in congress. Integrity is not a word in the Republican dictionary.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Right, but it was stated in this very blog post that he is.

        Acting Solicitor General Jeffrey Wall is a respected person with a lot of integrity. He can come before the Court and say, “I would not defend an openly racist, illegal order.” His boss, however, is not.

        ETA: If he had any integrity, he wouldn’t be defending anything that came out of the Trump White House, I think is what I am saying.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend
    • jesterpunk
      • borninatrailer

        Buttery males!

      • miss_grundy

        No, but in comments I read on social media they were acting like her emails was a criminal matter and even worse than what Dolt 45 did. Hillz did not originate any classified material in those emails. My understanding is that career staff sent her that information. I would think that career staff should know more about sending classified information via email than a political appointee. But what the heck do I know.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          And somebody mentioned last night that Hillary, as SOS, also had the power to declassify stuff. Don’t know if it’s true though cause Google confuses me with TMI that sidetracks me into chases down tangential information…and porn, of course.

          • Lamashtar

            Googling took me to a Cheney statement that the original classifying authority or their successer can declassify. Another says that Secretary of State is the highest classifying authority in State Dept.

            Which isn’t to say she didn’t do wrong, just that it was way more complex than the talking points.

    • Pre-existing Ugly Dude

      He shouts and pouts and tangles about
      With long neckties and Russian spies
      ♪♫ Trump-zilla ♪♫

  • The Wanderer
  • Chadwells

    OT: McMaster is a literal dick head. He looks like a walking, talking cock. He’s a despicable fuck too. Any respect he may have earned or had….gone. Did the military teach you to sell out your values? Don’t think so, you fucking walking penis.

    “H.R. McMaster’s defense of Trump’s release of classified information is laughable”

    http://www.businessinsider.com/mcmaster-trump-classified-info-russia-2017-5

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      As someone pointed out, there really are only 2 explanations:
      1) He was in the room, heard the discussion, and did not report the breach of classified materials as is required.
      2) He wasn’t in the room, and he’s lying that he was because he knows it would look worse for the National Security Advisor to not be present.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      McMaster seems to have forgotten the oath he swore to enter into service as a commissioned officer. Your loyalty is to the Constitution itself, not to a tiny-fingered, cheeto-faced, ferret-wearing shitgibbon, General.

      • Chadwells

        Absolutely!!! He is disgusting and a complete disgrace.

    • Master Contrail Program
    • Me not sure

      “General, thank you for your lip service.”

    • Marceline

      This is where I split with my fellow lefties. I don’t see where McMaster had any other real option. Refusing to toe the line only confirms that Trump’s intel was real and puts the source(s) even further in harm’s way. WaPo stated outright in their story that they were “withholding most plot details, including the name of the city, at the urging of officials who warned that revealing them would jeopardize important intelligence capabilities.” There are lives on the line and I think McMaster basically threw himself on a grenade.

      Also if the hammer is about to come down the way Claude Taylor predicts, then playing along with Donnie is a good thing to do.

      https://twitter.com/TrueFactsStated/status/864248801913184257

      https://twitter.com/TrueFactsStated/status/864249963269808129

      • SisterArtemis

        I’m with you on this one, and had some of the same kinds of sentiments when Comey blasted Hillary’s chances 11 days before the election. On the face, it looks absurd or even criminal, but the question is, what options were available? What were the downsides of apparent alternatives? Particularly with people who hold these positions, their visible statements and actions are not necessarily the whole story.

      • Chadwells

        I do not disagree. He could have opted to just not comment. McMaster made a voluntary decision to lie. Other statements by Fuckface aides say that the situation is far worse than even the media knows.

  • baconzgood

    OT

    To wonkette friends of Baconz and Shanz hoping for our success on this wonkette dating site. We are getting ever closer to rubbing swim suit areas. Thank you Rebecca for owning a web site where us oldz can meet and meet.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0996e3d22d0952e4a20f60446ff0950d55c806a2efba4449d6606c9259d320d8.png

    • Lance Thrustwell

      You’ll want to post video footage of said bathing suit area rubbing on Wonkette’s lesser-known sister site, Spankette.

    • Spurning Beer

      Two pickets to Tittsburg, please.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I, for one, am delighted! Here’s hoping that all your idiotic legal hassles are behind you, too!

    • Shanzgood

      Whaddaya mean “us oldz”?!

    • Turgid Love Skwerl

      Baconz was a lineman for the Shanz!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      What is this “hooking up on Wonkette” of which you speak? And is there a waiting list?

      • “M”

        inorite???

        nobody tells me anything

    • Me not sure
      • Shanzgood

        “I don’t know. I never looked!”

        ~ Bette Midler

        • Me not sure

          Perfecto! And that’s the way we roll at Wonkette.

        • baconzgood

          That’s MY! Girl.

          • Shanzgood

            Who, Bette?

          • baconzgood

            No the skinny red head.

    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      YAY!

    • Michael Smith

      Yinz goen dahn da burg?

      • Shanzgood

        That’s where I’m headed!

        NEXT WEEK ZOMG!!!

        • Michael Smith

          Excellent! Hope the weather is still nice. And hope the Pens are still in the playoffs.

          • Shanzgood

            Baconz says he likes you so he’ll kill you last.

            Wait, are you in Pittsburgh your own self?

          • Michael Smith

            Well I’m from Pittsburgh but I live in Indiana, PA now. Its about an hour away.

      • baconzgood

        We’re gonna to go to E-sliberty and buy some chipped ham and gum bands at Giant Eagle.

        • Michael Smith

          Good to hear!

    • CeeQ

      Congrats you two crazy kids. Also – ew. TMI dude. Also too – have fun and don’t break any hips!

    • aureolaborealis

      After all this build-up, here’s hoping you guys are sexually compatible!

      • Shanzgood

        Um. Thanks?

      • baconzgood

        Well.. .if Shan has a orifice…

        • Shanzgood

          I’m presuming you do, too.

          • baconzgood

            Did you buy that strapy thing?

          • Shanzgood

            Yeah but I got the next size up, just in case.

          • aureolaborealis

            Innocent, young love is so touching and sweet.

          • Shanzgood

            Um…yeah.

  • wait! what?

    OT: Back to Turkey. Donald traded state secrets for the answer to a very important question.

    https://youtu.be/7sl4XCVmoXg

    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      Sorry, Donnie, that’s nobody’s business but the Turks.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Turkey? Yeah, I like turkey, I prefer KFC, but I like turkey. I love meat, all kinds of meat, we have the best, the bigliest meat at Mar-a-Lago. Hey, Mr. “Oregon,” you like turkey, right? How about chicken? Beef? Here, let me tell you what — have a seat here and try some of Mar-a-Lago’s finest pulled pork and bacon sandwich. See? I know how to get along with our allies! What’s this about, the culture, I don’t get the culture? What culture? I love all kinds of cultures! There were so many cultures at the Miss Universe pageant that it’s incredible. Amazing. Look, there’s Ben, he’s my African-American! I know how to make deals with allies! Me alienating allies is FAKE NEWS and it’s SAD!

  • You just know when the have the ‘SO YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT” CELEBRITY ALL STAR EDITION even Carter and Papa Bush will be there but Trump will be notably absent.

  • SayItWithWookies

    So by the administration’s logic, a stranger coming to your neighborhood and asking the first kid he sees “hey, can you help me take this sofa out of my van” isn’t doing anything wrong because there might really be a sofa in there. But nobody’s gonna take those odds, and we shouldn’t have to.

  • fawkedifiknow

    There is only one thing Trump could do that would turn weasels like McConnell and Ryan against him and that is to announce he is against tax cuts for the 1%. That’s it.

  • Proud Liberal

    What’s overlooked now is that approximately 75 days of the 120 days have gone by since he signed that ridiculous order and no terrorist attacks. What’s the use of this dumb order anyway?

    • Paperless Tiger

      Prolly can’t think of anything worse.

    • h4rr4r

      Lisa, I would like to buy your rock.

  • Treg Brown
    • DainBramage

      Fake Newz! Ass too small. Hands too big.

    • miss_grundy

      Not only do I want to see this putz in handcuffs, I want to see his execution televised. Julius and Ethel Rosenberg got the electric chair for doing a lot less than what he has already done.

  • Joe Beese
    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      No, the time for republicans to stop standing in the way shouting “NO!” and “TAX CUTS!” is now. The dems have been working all along to do the right thing.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      No more “bipartisan” is possible. Democrats cannot associate with a party made up of traitors.

      • SisterArtemis

        Yep. Traitors to the nation, traitors to the concept of governing, traitors to even their own (supposed) ideals.

        Any GOP officials who still have ethics need to leave the Republican party.

    • DainBramage

      Republicans have defined bipartisanship as “shut up and do it our way.” It is known.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        To use the cookie analogy – to the GOP, that means if there are 12 cookies, they get 11 and then whine that you should have to spilt the last one with them.

        • Paperless Tiger

          They’re all in for fighting over the crumbs also too.

        • cmd resistor

          Or do like Wingnut Bro: Hey, Bro, take a piece of pie home.
          Wingnut Bro: OK, I’ll take the small piece.
          Wingnut Bro, Leaving: Oh, ha, ha, I took the big piece anyhow!

    • Marceline

      I assume that’s why he and Bernie will be debating on CNN tonight.

      http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/10/politics/cnn-town-hall-pelosi-sanders-kasich/

      They will join hands and come together to condescend to women and people of color in a spirit of bipartisanship.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        This is why Bernie is dead to me.

      • miss_grundy

        F*ck that! Bernie siding with the pro-birthers is the stupidest thing, ever.

      • jesterpunk

        Bernie is getting mad people are forgetting about him?

      • Shanzgood

        Well, we’re just “social issues” after all.

        • MizzMazz

          Nailed it. Gonna scrape the Bernie sticker offa my van. Had enough of his shit lately.

      • Mpeg

        Ha!

      • Roadstergal

        First Cruz, now Kasich. I have a hunch he’ll be running for President with an R by his name in 2020.

    • miss_grundy

      Where was all this “bipartisanship” blather during the campaign season, Johnnie?????

      • When did they all help Hillary to defeat Trump? Neverrrrrr​.

    • Meccalopolis

      Yup. It’s time for pugs to join with democrats to impeach the president

    • Michael Smith

      To what end? In my mind there’s one big change that needs to occur before anything else gets done, and it start with “impea” and ends with “chment.”

      Or at least some Republicans finding a sense of honor somewhere inside their hollow souls and condemning the President.

    • SeeTrain65

      This, from a man known for his resistance to Freedom of Information Act requests.

  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    Wouldn’t it be easier if all Muslims entering the US just swore loyalty to the man-baby and that he really did win the popular vote and then went about their lives as useful citizens? That’s what he really craves.

    • jesterpunk

      But they are brown and scary, how else can he scare his base if he lets them in?

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Maggie Haberman on Twitter: Drumpf just mispronounced Erdogan’s name multiple times; “They need to add more bullet points to his one-page briefing. How to pronounce world leaders’ names seems like a good start.”

    • ariel_gee_398

      He’d have to care to get their names right. He is the sun, everyone else orbits around him, therefore their names are all but irrelevant to him.

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        Careful! His base believes that the world is flat and the whole universe revolves around us.

      • Roadstergal

        It’s their fault for not having names that are easier to pronounce. #Dolt45

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      Whattaya expect? He’s also pretty sure that on a map, Turkey is right next to Mashed Potatoes and Cranberries over there by Grease.

    • Three Finger Salute

      He thought he could do better than Spicer, what with his “Anjela” Merkel and “Joe Trudeau.” Wait — is his name Sean Spicer or Shawn Spencer? Never mind, I’ve heard it both ways…

  • chascates
    • jesterpunk

      Well McMaster hope that lie was worth ruining your career over.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      When this is all over, Alex Jones needs to experience hurt in a myriad of ways.

      • chascates

        All that BBQ and chili will come back on him.

        • Certified Green Bastard

          Already do, I’d say. I’ll bet 40-60% of his material comes from Burning Chilli Shit-Rage.

    • Summary: Trump says he “legally” gave intel to Russian spy. You’re the bad person for pointing this out!

  • Michael Smith

    I think Trump voters have no problem with the Korematsu decision. Some might be a bit uncomfortable with it – but that’s because they’ve come to accept Japanese as a “good minority,” from a homeland that is now one of our most important allies.

    The difference, they will say, is that the Japanese-Americans of the 1940’s didn’t really pose a threat to national security and the public was just caught up in a rogue wave of bigotry. While the Muslims really are a clear and imminent threat to the United States, and so a ban is justified.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Bigotry, and greed. They wanted to get their hands on all those successful Japanese-American truck farms.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Funny how that “rogue wave of bigotry” only went after people who looked different. No one ever suggested Germans be rounded up and relocated off the Eastern seaboard until after the war was over.

      • cmd resistor

        Although, actually, weren’t Italians sent to those camps, too? Of course, brownish.

        • LucindathePook

          Yah, Ezio Pinza was, IIRC.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      I have heard people defend it recently.

      • Greyhame

        Ask them why we still need a “temporary” ban of 120 days at this point. Shouldn’t they have gotten their shit together by now, if we were to take the rationale for the ban at face value? Or can we not start to “figure out what the hell is going on” until after the ban is in place?

  • miss_grundy

    This coming from the putz who has businesses in Saudi Arabia where the 9/11 hijackers were indoctrinated. But SA is not one of the countries that is being banned. Oh, no, let’s go after other places and let’s go after people who having been living in this country peacefully for a long time. Instead of painting everyone with a wide brush just go after the people who are the most susceptible to being swayed into terrorism. Instead of copying Europe learn from their mistakes in marginalizing people and giving them reasons to hate.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I’m sorry, you appear to be mistaking Drumpf for a sentient being capable of learning.

      • miss_grundy

        Nope, as an ex-New Yorker we know he isn’t sentient or a being or capable of learning. We know he is a shallow, little trust fund baby with superficial knowledge regarding anything. He is just a bloated balloon of hot air.

    • jesterpunk

      I am sure the countries he picked had nothing to do with his businesses or anything like that. Its a total coincidence.

      Oh would you look at that, awkward…

      https://www.forbes.com/sites/datadesign/2017/02/01/mapping-president-trumps-travel-ban-vs-his-business-interests-in-muslim-countries/#469445624694

      • Vincent Ricola

        In fairness, since he’s taking his entire family along for the trip, he probably picked the countries that would require the most security money (that will eventually be filtered through Trump LLC somehow) to keep them safe.

        • vivian

          He picks places to go where he owns property so he can bill for housing all the ancillary staff.

  • chascates

    Erdogan complimented Trump on his legendary win. This will get a tweet.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Take it from me, Don, expand those powers.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Amber alert for missing trolls.

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029072155

    • wait! what?

      Rupture, not rapture. Being that FOS means something’s gotta give.

    • HorseChestnut

      Most of them were a single botnet, laid low by WCry.

    • Proud Liberal

      LOL!

    • William

      I know right? How come we can’t get a troll to come in here and enlighten us on the mortal danger Hillary put us in by sharing recipes on an unsecured server?

      • therblig

        she never indicated to keep the potato salad out of the sun.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Could it be possible even they know how bad this looks and are destroying all evidence they ever supported him?

  • Anna Elizabeth

    ot -Ima go for a walk. Be back in a little while.

    • C4TWOMAN

      We’ll still be here….probably.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Meccalopolis

      Some pretty good trolling

    • Proud Liberal

      That’s so pathetic. They are so pathetic!

      • MynameisBlarney

        Weak, sad.
        Low energy.

    • The Wanderer

      WTF.

    • C4TWOMAN

      And the one making the demand, Comstock, is a Republican. Maybe it’s about to get real. Can’t blame this on Obama or Hillary.

    • Doug Langley

      I’m reminded of the scene from Never Say Never Again:

      “Captain, do you have the NX-025 on board?”
      “That’s top secret! How did you know about it?”
      “Uh, from a Russian trade journal.”

    • Manders

      . . . or, Barb, you all could get your sh*t together and act as a check/balance like you are supposed ta.

    • aureolaborealis

      Holy shit. Git some, Babs! (If that’s what it takes to start doing your job)

  • Joe Beese

    Trump Goes To Saudi Arabia

    I would like to offer this gold-plated pewter statue of the prophet Mohammed as a symbol of the lasting bond between our two tremendous nations.

    http://www.metafilter.com/166945/Obstruction-of-Justice-Witness-Intimidation-Oh-My#7029353

  • The Wanderer

    I know it’s wrong of me, but the idea of the Statue of Liberty as a Weeping Angel is a concept I’m fairly okay with, considering Trump and all.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      … and all the GOP

      • The Wanderer

        Yep.

    • SisterArtemis

      I’m starting to feel a little more sympathy with that stupid weeping eagle too.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Or just petition Parliament to give her Canadian citizenship.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    NYT is just reporting the intel that was leaked to the Russians came from Israel.

    This shit just keep on piling up.

    • The Wanderer

      Noone can claim they weren’t warned.

      • Proud Liberal

        Nicely done America. Nicely done. We’re all gonna die!

    • Joe Beese

      Well, it will give them something to talk about when he gets there.

      • Paperless Tiger

        Kiss the wall and make it better.

    • cmd resistor

      Where he will be visiting later this week. How nice.

    • MynameisBlarney
      • wait! what?

        If Mossad did this, Russia would be apoplectic.

    • Vincent Ricola

      But… but… republicans on CNN are telling me no worries and this whole thing is blown out of proportion by the Dems and the mean old ladies in the Resistance.

    • Doug Langley

      I sure hope Jared got that peace treaty signed before they found out.

    • Meccalopolis

      Paybacks gone be a bitch

  • Mpeg

    “now many are saying it [the Muslim ban] was the right thing to do.”

    Just substitute “many voices in my head are saying” and it makes perfect sense, Donnie.

  • At the crossroads, stay strong
    • God Emperor Emeritus

      Not many things more dictatoresque than being the head of a private business in the USA. Unfortunately, Dumbfuck was too stupid to know that.

      • randomhookup

        Especially a private *family* business.

  • Joe Beese
  • chascates

    Cornyn withdraws as FBI director candidate.

    • snark-lurker

      no snark?

      • Mehmeisterjr

        It’s beyond snark.

    • jesterpunk

      I dont think any smart person would take that job, they already says anyone in his cabinet serves at Trump’s whims. If they give up their seat for that position they will be out of a job within a few weeks.

      • LesBontemps

        I dont think any smart person would take that job,…

        Yeah, but Cornyn.

        • jesterpunk

          Something something broken clocks.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        And also, if they find there’s actually no collusion, everyone not part of the base will call them a Trump stooge. If they find collusion, the base will see them as traitors. It’s a no-win situation.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Jojo the Dog-Faced Boy is Available, though sadly-overqualified by Trump standards.

    • The Wanderer

      Good. We most certainly did not need a partisan hack running the FBI.

    • SeeTrain65

      Two hacks down, 10 to go.

  • William

    One of those silly clickbait Facebook sites asked “what is the craziest pickup line you ever heard”? I responded. “Wanna come up to my cool oval shaped room and see my secret shit”?

  • Pre-existing Ugly Dude

    Trump shouldn’t let the Solicitor General try to argue this case on his own. He should help out by Tweeting some preemptive insults at the “so-called judges.”

    • jesterpunk

      I think he should also do an interview where he says its a muslim ban, that really helped Spicey with the Comey issue and McMaster with the treason thing.

    • Chadwells

      He did just get his honorary law degree from Liberty….

    • wait! what?

      Maybe tweeting a joke will help:

      The Judge admonished the witness, “Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?”
      “I do.”
      “Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?”
      “Sure,” said the witness. “My side will win.”

      • jesterpunk

        When they lose the case they will hold a press conference to say they lost the case but won the electoral vote bigly.

  • We’re an American band ♪
    We’re comin’ to your town
    We’ll help you party it down
    Woo hoo ♫
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5d05b810f99317ec58ed3c26230483899ed4de16ff313ae85ab656f2ac55f010.png

    • SisterArtemis

      I love the color composition in that photo

    • William
    • Doug Langley

      Why am I having flashbacks to The Singing Nun?

      • willi0000000

        symptom of being an old.

        [ get used to it ]

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        She left the convent and came out.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          It’s a sad story. She eventually committed joint-suicide with her partner, unable to reconcile the many cross-currents in her life.

          I never liked that stupid song but wished her better.

          • Bitter Scribe

            Never knew that. Ouch, that’s rough.

            BTW, great parody. Did you write it?

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Yup, though I’m sure a native French speaker can find a blooper or two in it. (I made a small adjustment, already.)

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Perhaps because it’s too close for comfort?

        ♫ La Melania, lania, lania,
        S’en allait tout simplement,
        Cherchant de l’émollient.
        En tout chemin, en tout lieu,
        Elle suce la queue du vieux,
        Elle suce la queue du vieux.

        A l’époque du sieur Poutine,
        (La Russie étant la sienne)
        Notre héroine Melania.
        Faisait photos lesbiennes.

        La Melania, lania, lania,
        S’en allait tout simplement,
        Cherchant de l’émollient.
        En tout chemin, en tout lieu,
        Elle suce la queue du vieux,
        Elle suce la queue du vieux.

        Certain jour un ancêtr’ bien gaga,
        La voyait (comme par hasard.)
        Et très vite La Melania,
        A conquis ce gros blagard.

        La Melania, lania, lania,
        S’en allait tout simplement,
        Cherchant de l’émollient.
        En tout chemin, en tout lieu,
        Elle suce la queue du vieux,
        Elle suce la queue du vieux.♫

    • Meccalopolis

      Rock and roll is universal

      • MizzMazz

        Can’t upfist enough. Rock and roll saved my life. Also, is that your kitty in your avatar? I’m staff to one just like that.

        • Meccalopolis

          Roxy in better days. She’s kind of fat and bald in a few places now

          • MizzMazz

            Well, we all get old. Glad she has you.

  • William
  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    Whoopsie! 3 in the AM in Local Anime Time. Oldish liberal needs his liberalism revitalizing sleep. Later, dudes. (Damn Wonkette is worse than YouTube.)

  • Jennifer R

    You know that secret information that WaPo told us all that donnie told Russia, but WaPo said they wouldn’t tell us because it would make everything worse?
    It’s on Russian TV now.

    • The Wanderer

      Aber naturlich.

    • jesterpunk
    • cmd resistor

      Wait, I thought the Russians made a statement that Trump didn’t leak anything classified to them? Must have read that wrong.

      • Jennifer R

        TASS wanted clicks I guess?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Oh, great. So if the asset isn’t already dead, they will be before nightfall. Super.

      • Jennifer R

        Yeah, plus it was revealed that some of this was from an American asset and he told them what city it came from. At least one of our spies is dead now.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Wall: Yes, Judge Hawkins. He has said several things approaching that.

    He hasn’t said anything approaching that but even if he had, what’s the difference?

    He would have to totally renounce his prior statements (and infuriate the Neo-Know-Nothing base) to come close to indicating a change of motivation.

    • Dave Wayne

      Here’s a hint. He doesn’t need to just approach it-he needs to actually get there.
      And lord have mercy I am getting sick of hearing these people-Wall, Rosenstein et. al.- described as principled and respected. If that were true they wouldn’t be serving this POTUS.

      • Yellow_Dog_Dem

        Preach!!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Yeah, I’m tired of that crap, too.

        You cannot serve this traitorous nitwit without soiling yourself beyond repair.

        Quit, quit now, you dumbfucks and hope, only hope, that you can do as good penance as John Dean. Because right now? McMaster looks like anybody’s National Security Advisor for a nickle.

  • LiPao

    A short summary of Dummy’s presidency so far
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2_tJIgfnDA

  • Dave Wayne

    2nd time today I’ve been subjected to Judge Jeannine. Her appearance makes me think she constantly acts in the mirror, muttering ” I’m just as hot as those skinny blondes. I’m just as hot as those skinny blondes.”
    Never thought I could be embarrassed for a faux newsian but her very special interview with Trump did it. Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Is she different from Judge Judy?

      • Douglas White

        meaner, and not as ‘smart’…. and a bit more racist, if that is even possible….

    • ken_kukec

      “Mirror, Mirror on the wall
      who’s the screachiest harridan of all.”

  • CriticalDragon1177

    If the Supreme Court does not overturn the Muslim ban, even with Trump’s pick on the beach, I will be horrified.

    • tomamitai

      OMG, does Trump now get to pick who sits on the beach?!!!!!!!!1!!!

      • CriticalDragon1177

        You didn’t hear about Neil Gorsuch?

        • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

          He doesn’t look like a beach guy to me. More of a pool guy.

      • ken_kukec

        The way things are going with the Donald, we may all ended up “On the Beach” with Gregory Peck and Ava Gardner after Lil’ Kim launches the big one.

  • whitroth

    You’re all missing one point: all them Muslin* countries are in the Middle East. And Bannon, Trumpolini, et al are all ANTI-SEMITES. (Or did you think only Jews were Semitic..?)

    * satire, jeez, I need to footnote it? Next you’ll accuse me of being a Satinist (oh, the feel of those sheets…)

  • ken_kukec

    In Korematsu the government interned not only Japanese immigrants, but also Nisei Japanese who were born in the USA and, thus, birth-right citizens. That’s one of the reasons the case stands as such a badge of shame.

  • Douglas White

    Well, since all Trump wanted was 120 days where he could do more planning and ‘figure out what is going on’, and get better policies in place…. and since that much time has JUST ABOUT ELAPSED since the original order was executed…. HE MUST NOT NEED THAT ANYMORE…. right?

    At the VERY LEAST he can show us all the data he has collected and the plans he has been working on since then…. seeing as how that planning and data gathering was the reason for the 120 days in the first place….. Right????

    • SFC Sphinxor

      Trump is brilliant, because he cleverly said that the ban would only be temporary, until “we can figure out what the hell is going on,” but Trump will never know what the hell is going on, so the ban will be permanent. Take that liberal snowmen tard-somethings in your safety space areas!!!

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      Logic, how does that work?

  • Annie Towne

    I would like to find every single person who did the ‘Bernie or bust’ thing, and wring their necks. Slowly. Look what they have done to us.

    • Annie Towne

      On the other hand, I can’t even imagine what sort of virulent Republican-led horror show we’d be living in if she had won. Life is simply not worth living sometimes.

  • randomhookup

    I’ve yet to hear any good Muslim bands, so I think this should be allowed to stand.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Cat Stevens had some pretty good hits in the ’70s. Does the Immature Cheezit want to ban him?

      • Amalga

        Cat Stevens was denied entry to the US in 2004 on the grounds he allegedly funded terrorism. So yes.

  • Three Finger Salute

    The thing is, it’s not “Islam” per se that’s at the root of a lot of these attacks. It’s a particularly militant and virulent expansionist form called Wahabism, which is the state religion of “America’s greatest ally” Saudi Arabia. It’s missionary Islam, kind of like how American evangelical Christians went to Africa to teach Nigerians how to persecute gays — all under the guise of “helping them fight AIDS.” Or the land grab mentality of Zionist Israel as compared to reform Judaism. All of it funded with your tax dollars, in direct violation of the First Amendment — and all in the name of “keeping the peace” (aka establishing American imperialism abroad, particularly for the interest of oil).

    From what I’ve read, Shi’a branches of Islam are more amenable to reform movements — and those are the ones that are considered America’s “enemies” (because they’re the enemies of the Sunni Wahabists in Saudi Arabia). There’s the Sufi, the Ahmadiyya and the Baha’i Faith, which are all moderate and liberal Muslim movements that get persecuted in their own countries because the Saudi Wahabists are funding schools (madrasahs) that teach this extreme, millenarian form of Islam to the exclusion of all else. Indonesia, long held up as an example of a mainstream Islamic-majority country, is now worried that its long-fought battles to quash extremism will be rendered moot by the presence of (U.S. and Europe-funded) madrasahs and mosques opening up all over the place and siphoning followers away from the moderate and liberal ones.

    So, if Trump or anyone else for that matter wanted to really do something about “Islamist terrorism,” we’d stop giving money to Saudi Arabia, stop blowing shit up in the Middle East (that only creates desperation, PTSD and thus angry retaliation from the people who had no choice in this), wean ourselves off toxic oil and the petrodollar, and put that money into renewables while at the same time empowering moderate and reform Muslim movements and even ex-Muslim secularists.

    The dog-and-pony-show going on in Canada regarding Justin Trudeau’s visit to the Agha Khan’s island over the holidays in 2016 is stupid in my opinion, because leaders such as him have the potential to promote a modern and even feminist form of Islam that is more beneficial to refugee integration. They should leave him alone and focus on more important things. The Agha Khan does good work and who cares about a stupid helicopter ride. The newcomers are going to attend mosque anyway, as is their right. So having moderate ones available in their new homes to promote a more integrationist form of Islam, versus Saudi-funded ones that preach hate, is the equivalent of whether you’d want Christian newcomers to attend Westboro Baptist Church or a church run by Mister Rogers. But this distinction is lost on the Muslim-hating obsessives in our government, who themselves are “Christian Dominionists” who believe in a particularly un-Christlike end-times Christianity.

    Meanwhile, Donald Badenoff has said absolutely nothing about the concentration camps in Chechnya where gay people are being tortured to death in a manner reminiscent of Nazi Germany. Even though Chechens are predominantly Muslims (so you’d think he’d get a good pot shot in at Islam), Chechnya is part of Russia — and we wouldn’t want to ruffle Fearless Leader Vlad’s colorful feathers, now would we?

  • unclejeems

    Well, Jeff, I’m totally amazed that red-neck, Klan-sympathizing, named-after-Confederate-heroes, punk-ass little troll like you, from a state that still proudly flies the traitor flag and sings Dixie as their own national anthem, whose state car is a rusty, 20-year-old Ford pickup, has been appointed to enforce laws like the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Totally amazed. I’m also totally amazed that a former judge and US Senator seems to have no notion of the role of the courts in the federal system. Or that Hawaii is actually now a state–just like Alabama. And since you seem to have no idea of either your role or that of the courts, why don’t you just resign, and let a grown-up have the job. Not that the tweeting orangutan–and your soul-mate–in the White House has the first idea of the qualifications for the office you now hold. Much less his own.

    OK, now I feel better.

  • Scooby

    The original ban was only for 90 days to ‘figure things out’. So I’m assuming Trump figured it out in just 30. Why do we need this? Just to appeal to Trumps racist base.

  • Zyxomma

    I had an arugula salad for dinner. Thanks, FDF.

  • hvdv

    Why does Rudy Giuliani even continue to exist? What’s the point?

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