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Can you see a soul in there? We can’t.

OK, we want to be clear that this post is probably FAKE NEWS, and might as well have been written by the Failing New York Times. Because there is literally no chance in the world that Kellyanne Conway, adviser to Donald Trump and famed inventor of the Bowling Green Massacre, has an actual human soul. WHOA IF TRUE, and it’s probably not true, right?

Well, according to Mika and Joe Scarborough-Brzezinski, who have finally come clean about their unrepentant and incessant boning, Kellyanne Conway has an actual soul, and she really hates lying for Trump. Like, REALLY hates it. Listen to this, friends:

MIKA: [Kellyanne Conway] would come on our show during the campaign and shill for Trump in ummmmm … extensive fashion, and then she would get off the air, the camera would be turned off, the microphone would be taked off, and she would say “BLECH! I NEED TO TAKE A SHOWER!” because she disliked her candidate so much.

First of all, yeah, Mika said “taked,” which is not an English word. But after that, Joe Scarborough immediately chimed in and said Kellyanne Conway referred to Trump’s campaign as her “summer vacation” and her “summer in Europe,” and Mika said Conway was just doing it for the money, and then continued to quote Conway, ALLEGEDLY:

MIKA: “But first I have to take a shower, because it feels so dirty to be saying what I’m saying.” I guess she’s just used to it now.

Scarborough also said that after the “Access Hollywood” tape came out (you know, that thing about Trump constantly GRABBING THEM BY THE PUSSY), Kellyanne Conway took to referring to Trump as merely her “client.” She better hope there’s not secret “wire tapp tapes” of her saying these things, because then Donald Trump might get mad and fire her! That would be hilarious, because then Kellyanne Conway could do a big interview with Oprah or Ellen and spill all the Russia shit she knows. She could do it with James Comey!

So … wow! Remember how, in the early stages of their post-Trump grief, Joe and Mika decided Kellyanne Conway was such a big yooooooge tremendous liar that they would no longer invite her on their morning TV program, which is called “Literally We Are In Our 50s And We Are Playing Footsie With Each Other’s Privates Under The Table While Mark Halperin Watches”? This provides some interesting context for that!

Of course, we would be remiss if we didn’t note that Kellyanne Conway has made a conscious choice to take money and get famous by shilling for Donald Trump. She works in the White House and may or may not have regular sleepovers in the residence, on account of how she lies for him. She may not be on TV that much anymore, but she will live fat and happy for the rest of her life, because of the work she has done propping up the Trump regime.

So, while we know all of our readers are overcome with sympathy for Kellyanne Conway right now, because she literally sold her soul to Satan in order to further her career, and will now go to hell when she dies, forever separated from her sweet children, Wonkette encourages everyone not to waste time lamenting Conway’s situation! She made her own bed and she’s gonna fuckin’ LIE IN IT, in Jesus Christ’s holy name, AMEN.

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[Talking Points Memo]

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  • Bill D. Burger
    • Joe Beese

      Give her this: She didn’t make it on her looks.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        Wasn’t she Miss Sweet Potato Pie of Whitebread County or something or other

    • leemoder

      There’s something very David-Spade-in-drag about KAC. Like a walk-on cameo in an Austin Powers sequel.

  • In hindsight, selling your soul for 30 pieces of silver always sounds like a bad deal.

    • Querolous

      On the market today approximately $250. Doesn’t sound like much but at that time it would probably have bought you a large herd of goats.

  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

    Every last fucking person who supports this administration needs to be in jail when this nightmare finally fucking ends.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Looks like she lost it!

    If she had one, Turnip now keeps it in a jar on his desk.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dc937f320a525e06915ed9304d0afdd9f1cc074681757f50fd0f5b7599e1e949.jpg

    • bupkus231

      Somewhere, Andy Serkis is retching at that meme.

    • Hrmm… I had just assumed that faceinhole.com would have been a porn site…

  • MynameisBlarney

    If she does, she better give it back to the original owner.

    • FlownΩver

      Or go ahead and surrender it in advance to “whoever” she sold it to. She’s obviously not using it.

      [How did I do with the Trumpish quotation marks? I’m trying to get the hang of it.]

      • PubOption

        Looks right to me.

  • schmannity

    Now, whenever exposed to some Trump bullshit, people will say they need a Conway Shower.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Somebody has to be the most remorseful gangster.”
    — Henry Hill

  • memzilla Ω
    • Latverian Diplomat

      “The costume designs have really gone downhill. It used to be about the outfits, man!”
      — A Barbie Collector

  • JMP

    If you actually don’t like lying for little Donald, then why are you still working for him? If you actually cared you can just leave the job and tell all the creep’s secrets you know publicly.

  • SayItWithWookies

    So this alleged soul of Kellyanne’s – did she have it while she was shilling for Ted Cruz? Because one can only stretch the limits of credibility but so far.

  • memzilla Ω
  • fawkedifiknow

    Honest Kellyanne Conway, we hardly knew ye.

  • schmannity

    OT, but has that Kushner couple moved back to NYC before the Presidential Perp Walk?

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Mephistopheles got gypped, methinks. Worst trade since Lou Brock for Ernie Broglio

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Broglio won 18 games in 1963!

    • Querolous

      The Bosox did it worse.Babe Ruth for mortgage on Fenway and $125,000 cash
      Jan. 3, 1920
      Baseball lore is filled with stories of spectacularly nearsighted trades. Babe Ruth had led the Boston Red Sox to three world championships in five-plus years when Sox owner Harry Frazee sold him to the New York Yankees in 1919 for $125,000 and a $300,000 loan to produce a Broadway show. The next year, 1920, the Babe hit 54 home runs; the Sox as a team hit 22. Ruth would lead the Yankees to four championships and seven pennants. Boston would not win another World Series until 2004.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I’m gonna dive straight OT ’cause fuck the police:

    I just called a county sheriff’s office to report that a client is being harassed via telephone by her ex (a man who did time for felony domestic battery.) Investigations transferred me to civil; civil transferred me to dispatch. The fucking shitheel dispatcher said: “Sir, we are very busy. These calls usually come from outside the country, so there really isn’t anything we can do. You can call the feds. We don’t investigate telephone harassment.”

    Fuck you very much. It must be a great comfort to the people of Cassia County that their sheriff’s office has better things to do than investigate reports of harassment by violent felons.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I’m surprised they didn’t tell you to tell her to buy a gun.

    • snark-lurker

      and after he gets to her physically, the sheriff will just say, “1 in a million how do i know who’s really in danger?”

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        His PO is on his way over there. I didn’t want the PO to be the investigating officer, though.

        • snark-lurker

          results?

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      Thanks for being an Actual Real Human and taking the extra step for your client.

  • Thaumaturgist

    OT: Separate but equal revived. NC legislature cuts spending for schools in districts that elected Democratic reps.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Those liberals on MSNBC, always trying to humanize the bad hombres.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Speaking of MSNBC, rumor has it that Lawrence O’Donnell isn’t being offered a new contract and will be off the air when his current contract expires in a few months, despite having high ratings. Apparently Andy Lack is an even bigger idiot douchebag than people realized…

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Lawrence himself is saying the “president” wants him fired and that Lack is going along with it.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Supposedly it’s a combination of Lack being pissed that Lawrence wouldn’t let him move the show out of primetime (it’s in his contract) and that Andy wants to kiss Donnie’s ass for access and that bad blood is an impediment. The stupid fuckwit is apparently willing to fire one of his highest rated pundits in order to brown nose the boy king and chase after those conservative viewers. Rumor also has it that he’d move Brian Williams into that spot (yes, the guy who causes most of us to reach for the remote the moment his show starts, assuming we haven’t nodded off)

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Well, I watch Rachel and Lawrence and just about nothing else on MSNBC now. If they get rid of Lawrence, and they don’t put Joy Reid in his spot, I’ll just turn off my t.v. at 10 and be done with them.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            as will millions of us- Andy Lack can eat a bag of dicks

          • Meccalopolis

            Why so he can move another repug douche into the slot? This iswhy we there is no lib analog to faux

  • goonemeritus

    Some 50 year old people still play footsie and even boink on occasion, admittedly most of don’t do it eye shot of Mark Halperin.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Not dead yet!

      • Vecchioivan

        You’re not fooling anyone you know.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Keep the hands above the desk, people.

      • snark-lurker

        i know what you meant (above)

    • natoslug

      I’ll be 50 next year, and plan on continuing boinking occasionally. On those rare occasions the wife and I don’t fall asleep during foreplay.

      • Meccalopolis

        I sure as hell hope so

    • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

      I don’t know how someone could even think of sex with Mark Halperin in the vicinity.

    • leemoder

      I wouldn’t worry…Not only is Halperin dumb as a Ken doll, he’s just as gifted in the area of the fun-button.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Joe: “Saying, ‘He’s just a client. It’s just a paycheck.’ “

    Whoa. That is some literal whoring-it-out language there.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Lawyers, accountants, and PR reps agree, that is not out of line.

  • goonemeritus

    After the impeachment I won’t be reading her book.

    • natoslug

      I’m hoping that this administration is why we haven’t yet closed Gitmo. Time to swap out random browns — who might have been terroristy or might have been in the wrong place at the wrong time or might have pissed off the wrong person — with some actual traitors and terrorists.

  • Crystalclear12

    So, she knows enough to fell bad about it but not enough to stop.
    Great role model for those kids, Kellyanne.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    KaC: You said you were going to pay me in the high six figures for my work.

    Trump: I did, see $8000.00. Six figures.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      $0000.00. Six figures. And I’m always high. Now, get out.
      — Donald Trump

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Trump: “And define ‘pay.'”

  • SnarkON

    My current list of annoying people who should STFU:
    1. Kellyanne Conway
    2. Joe and Mika

    • bupkus231

      You got a short list!

      • snark-lurker

        that is on top of the DC Beltway phone book

        • bupkus231

          Ah! That ‘splains it.

    • natoslug

      3. Miss USA beauty pageant winners who are also big gubmint employees who believe health care should be a privilege.
      4. Anyone related to or hired by or supportive of Donut J. Trump.

  • snark-lurker

    Mika/joe got no moral rudder at all, do day?

  • jesterpunk
    • Joe Beese

      Ilse, She-Spokesperson of the SS

    • snark-lurker

      beauty is only skin deep but that kind of ugly comes outward from the bone

  • Anna Elizabeth

    OT – I just back back from a milk run to learn that my SNAP/Food Stamps are being reduced because my rent is slightly lower.

    That means no way to afford co-pays to see a doc for my PTSD. It’s taking everything just to live right now.

    Same Shit, Different Day, Every Day.

    • jesterpunk

      Talk to your doctor about that, they may be able to reduce what you have to pay or work out some kind of arrangement with you.

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        ^THIS. Definitely. And good luck. :-(

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I don’t even have a doctor yet. There isn’t any point in looking for one now.

        • jesterpunk

          Yes there is, when you go talk to them though about payments. They can help and most of them will work something out so your not also worrying about money.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            No. I’m not going to go be shamed by these assholes anymore for the privilege of being put on meds to be a Zombie

    • snark-lurker

      is Medicaid out of the question for you?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Yes, the pulled Medicaid in January. That’s when I decided to OD, but I lived through it.

        I wonder if I’m attractive enough to be a Camgirl?

    • Yr. Gma

      That sucks.

  • Jenny

    Lol like she’s actually being paid. Forget that. Donnie never pays for “terrible work.”

  • Longstreet63

    Maybe those Russian Pee Hookers weren’t actually Russian? We already know what Kellyanne will do for money, right?

  • Crank Tango

    She may need a Silkwood Shower™, she may indeed hate Trump, but that still doesn’t mean she is human.
    https://i.makeagif.com/media/12-14-2015/95H2H_.gif

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    The real fake news is Kellyanne actually got paid.

    • Nockular cavity

      She’s getting paid lots of Exposure Bux, though! Those are just as good, I’m told.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    OT: I’m going to go lay out in the sun and listen to Alex Jones for a while. It makes more sense when your brain is being fried.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Maybe he’ll explain how fusion is a Darwinist fable to explain away Lord Kelvin’s calculation that the sun could only be a few thousand years old?

      That would be a nice tie-in.

  • “She made her own bed and she’s gonna fuckin’ LIE IN IT”

    ISWYDT.

    • Vecchioivan

      She’s buttered her bread, now let her lie in it.

  • Chadwells

    “She could do it with James Comey!”

    Ewwwwww!!! You gotta brown bag that lunch, James. Even then….still pretty gross.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Oh FFS. OT, but still in the Trump realm. Soundbite diplomacy in the age of Trump.
    https://twitter.com/BrendanNyhan/status/864155173245071360

    • jesterpunk

      “Hey folks the US elected a moron can you use small words and talk slowly so he might understand it?”

      • Bobathonic

        I blame the French, for loving Jerry Lewis.

        • jesterpunk

          I blame England, they let Nigel Farage out of their country and he came over here to help Trump.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            Come on, if you had a chance to get rid of Nigel Farage, even for just a few days, wouldn’t you take it?

            I’m pretty sure that’s how he got a seat in the European Parliament.

          • jesterpunk

            That is true, they could have sent him to another country though. Like maybe Russia?

          • Latverian Diplomat

            Well they used to send “undesirables” to America or Australia, and Australia wouldn’t take him?

          • Opalescent Riddles

            Goddammit, this is all so fucking sophisticated a type of humour that I am bowled over. I love it. It is why I love this site and all the non-commenters here.

    • Crank Tango

      This is good news for the interpreters. I pity the fool that has to work out of English with his nonsense tho.

      • Certified Green Bastard

        (unintelligible)

        • Paul

          Funny as hell. Well done CGB

      • Beanz&Berryz

        The poor 7-8 translators of different languages fools … imagine the German translations. Or Polish. Turkish. Etc.

        • Longstreet63

          If Trump hires translators like he does everyone else, they’ll tell him that the other heads of state are just discussing his massive electoral college victory.

    • Longstreet63

      I’m calling upon the various heads of state to give their most long winded and detailed speeches. If they’re heads of state, they don’t have to cater to the desires of The Orange Bozo.

    • efoveks

      That last bit, not highlighted, is just as disturbing:

      “And the alliance scrapped plans to publish the traditional full post-meeting statement meant to crystallize NATO’s latest strategic stance.”

      So everyone just takes away whatever they want??? What could go wrong there, with all the Trumpensteins redesigning whatever’s said into … “whatever”.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        They’ll have it all worked out – but they won’t tell Trump.

    • Doug Langley
    • AJ Milne

      It’s probably* a good thing I’m neither a head of state nor one of their prep people… the opportunities for trollery are… slightly too good to pass up here…

      … thinkin’… in addition to keeping it under two minutes, I’d also do it in the style of ‘See Spot Run’…

      (/’See nuclear and military proliferation in already potentially unstable theatres due to anxiety over reliability of key partners’ leadership. Run proliferation, run!’)

      (*/Okay, so kinda goes without saying.)

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      “It’s kind of ridiculous how they are preparing to deal with Drumpf,” said one source briefed extensively on the meeting’s preparations. “It’s like they’re preparing to deal with a child — someone with a short attention span and mood who has no knowledge of NATO, no interest in in-depth policy issues, nothing,” said the source, who spoke on condition of anonymity. “They’re freaking out.”

      SMH

    • calliecallie

      So he’s not just dumbing down American policy discourse, he’s dumbing down the whole world. Maybe that’s how he’s MAGAing? By dragging everybody else down so we can feel better?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Okay, we’re going to try and explain complex geopolitical situations at a level that could be best described as “Thomas The Tank Engine”?
      Okay then. Should I start screaming now?

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        I started on Nov. 9 and haven’t stopped, so I’d love the company!

    • Joe Beese

      Fuck, that’s embarrassing.

    • TundraGrifter

      What does it tell us that Josiah Bartlet or Tom Kirkland are better Presidents of the United States than the one we got? Hell – Andrew Shepard did a better job.

      I’d like to add any President played by Morgan Freeman but when he’s in the White House it keeps getting blown up.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Plus the right-wing lunatics go rabid when the White House ain’t white on the inside.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      France: “Russia bad!”
      U.K: “Russia so bad!”
      Canada: “Russia so so bad!”
      Belgium: “Russia is bad and should feel bad!”*
      Italy: “Russia, so bad!”
      Luxembourg: “So. Russia bad!”
      Netherlands: Russia. Bad!”
      Norway: Russia is bad!”
      Iceland: Oh, Russia bad!”
      Portugal: So bad, Russia!”
      Denmark: So, bad Russia!”

      *NOTE: Belgium is still working on its speech for clarity purposes….

      • Meccalopolis

        No bad no bad you’re bad

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        United States: “Putin is a very smart guy.”

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Don’t ‘splain your points to me
    Don’t pardon crooks too much
    Don’t laugh at the poor too much
    People will say we’re in love

  • Crystalclear12

    I really hope Trump was watching this segment.
    He really thinks everyone loves him.

    • cmd resistor

      Well for sure one of those backstabbers in the West Wing will alert him, and then he and Kellyanne will likely have a little “talk.”

  • therblig
    • Chadwells

      Wait…isn’t Jersey responsible for unleashing Beavis McMethface on the world?! You don’t get taco trucks until you answer for KaC!!!

      • therblig

        we’ve got 290 superfund sites here – we can’t help it if every now and then some mutation escapes.

        • Chadwells

          LOL!! Alright….you can have taco trucks!

    • DrBigHead

      I’m glad I live in Tucson. Never more than 5 minutes form a taco truck. (Not sure about north of River Road).

  • cats530

    Not impressed with the Joe and Mika version of KAC.

  • yyyaz

    I hope her children enjoy “living” in the smoking ruins of the country she is willingly aiding and abetting the OPOS to reduce us to.

    • Longstreet63

      Cmon, man, I mean, sure the planet will be a wreck, but she’s making money here!
      He’s surely going to pay his bill eventually…and then she’ll buy a nice place for the kids from Vault-Tec, so everything’s cool.

  • cmd resistor

    OT but 9th circuit live streaming oral arguments re: appeal of travel ban. I can’t listen because work. https://www.ca9.uscourts.gov/media/view_video.php?pk_vid=0000011467

    • Juan de Fuca

      I’m watching it now on CNN. Pretty cool stuff and I’m learning a lot just listening. I’m no lawyer but it still sounds to me like Trump’s Travel Ban is toast.

      • cmd resistor

        Good! I read somewhere else that the lawyer from Hawaii was doing a good job.

        • Juan de Fuca

          It’s hard to tell because the judges are coming across as unbiased, professional judges and they’re asking tough questions from both lawyers – as they should. But as a lay person listening to the lawyer representing Hawaii and the other representing Trump, I think the guy from Hawaii is making his case pretty good. But I’m also a biased guy without a law degree so what do I know?

          The guy arguing for the Trump admin is also surprisingly good, to be honest. I mean he’s actually making coherent arguments instead of replying to the judges with, “Say’s who?” He must be a government lawyer and came with the job.

          • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

            Well it’s probably a line Deputy US Attorney, who doesn’t really want to deal with this garbage fire but is going to do the best he can with what he’s got.

          • Juan de Fuca

            Yup. He’s definitely not a Trump crony. I think he’s making a good, although losing argument but again I’m just a person who took a few legal classes in college and watching because it’s kind of intriguing to listen in on legal arguments.

            I’m also one of those nerds who wanted to be a lawyer when I was a kid.

          • cmd resistor

            Yeah, not all those DOJ lawyers are hacks, or jerks like Sessions (who doesn’t strike me as smart or skilled, either).

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            But definitely slimy….

          • cmd resistor

            Many are, for sure, but they have to make slimy arguments to support this ban. But I was just reading an article and the acting solicitor general guy who argued for the government, Wall, I think is the same one who argued at least one of the other cases, so he’s had time to get his story straight by now, I guess. To the extent he can, anyway. I still hope it goes down in flames.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      “Your suit must be THIS BLUE to enter.”

    • TundraGrifter

      I stumbled across it this morning and decided it was a better bet than listening to excuses about why the Warriors won yesterday. The gentlemen presenting the case for Hawaii was remarkable.

  • Certified Green Bastard

    Not cool. if KaC has a soul, it’s b/c she snatched one she found unattended & is holding it hostage in a mason jar.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Future Mr. Cats steals souls and can confirm.

    • Longstreet63

      I hope it’s not mine. I lost track of the thing years ago after it got disconnected.

  • Zonath

    So wait… Doesn’t this actually paint KAC as an objectively worse person? If she were a true believer, at least you couldn’t necessarily fault her for sticking to her principles, but she doesn’t like the guy or believe in what he says, and presumably could get a job shilling for something much better than Donald Trump (like the cigarette industry, for instance)…

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I’d call her a soulless whore, but that would be whore libulz, given most of them have at least a modicum of principles and morals- unlike KaC

      • Latverian Diplomat

        So, KAC’s a hooker with a heart of tin?

        • natoslug

          Tin has value. KaCK!’s unused heart, not so much.

          • Trip Space-Parasite

            Mint in-box!

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Jack Haley libulz!!1!

    • Turgid Love Skwerl

      Yep. If she had a ounce of ethics, she’d quit.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Yeah, nobody comes out of this little story looking better. Not only KAC, but also Joeka (testing that anagram out, see how it grabs you) cuz they were perfectly ok having her on a ton to let her spew. Oh, it must have been awful for them *makes jack-off motion*

      • Joe Beese

        They may have more trouble attracting guests if people think they’re likely to get sold out like this.

      • Meccalopolis

        I’d say Moe but they’re a decent band

        • bupkus231

          I dunno about the band, but that’s libulz for 1/3 of the Three Stooges!

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        It’s just Jomika…

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Which KAC do you believe? The one demanding Trumpster Fire release his tax returns or the one who said it wasn’t important?

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      There are no true bleebers in the trump administration…

  • Ricky Gay

    KC versus Coulter in cage match. Who has the best odds?

    • Hey, as long as they’re both hurt very badly (with votes), the rest of us win!

    • Shanzgood

      I dunno. Both of them look like they’ve got a pretty good chance of just slipping between the bars.

      • Joe Beese

        You could snap Coulter’s forearm like a breadstick.

        http://www.limitstogrowth.org/ltg-uploads/2015/02/AnnCoulterCPAC2012.jpg

        • Longstreet63

          No point. It would just ooze back together. Or worse, grow into a second one.
          That may be where Kellyanne came from in the first place…

        • natoslug

          Please tell me that is photoshopped. If not, she’d be able to scratch her ankles without bending over.

          • Shanzgood

            She’s very tall.

          • natoslug

            With arms like an Ent.

          • Doug Langley

            She’s definitely a natural at deadlifting.

          • natoslug

            Every morning, when she drops from her inverted perch on the ceiling and returns to human form?

          • Doug Langley

            Sorry. I was referring to the power-lifting movement where one grabs a barbell on the floor and stands up. With those arms, she’s only have to move a couple inches.

        • SeeTrain65

          “Would someone get that scarecrow off the stage!”

          “It’s me, Ann Coulter!”

          “I know.”

    • Ricky Gay

      Look for it soon on TLC!

    • Elvis Causticfellow
      • Ricky Gay

        LOL

    • Certified Green Bastard

      Battle of the Beltway Banshees

      • natoslug

        Siouxsie LIBELZ!!11!!!1!

    • wait! what?
      • Ricky Gay

        mmm, cauliflower!

    • Vincent Ricola

      I’m going Coulter. Arm reach in a cage match is everything.

    • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

      Tie. Goes into overtime.

      • Ricky Gay

        Sudden death?!

  • “I do solemnly swear that I — no matter how I feel, no matter what the conditions, if there’s hurricanes or whatever — I will apply my makeup with a trowel”
    https://media.tenor.co/images/8787c3817acd01923d3c2773baf3cea2/tenor.gif

  • Rick Hill

    I think it shows she just wants people around her to think she’s a good person because of the disclaimer.

  • La forza del resistino

    The family of the late Conway Twitty should request a restraining order from her use of the medium in respect to his memory.

  • Marceline

    Joe and Mika are trying to get her fired and I’m okay with that.

  • TundraGrifter

    I’m not sure that even here in 2017 doing it for the money represents “having a soul.”

    • Longstreet63

      I wonder if the Nuremberg Trials would have gone better for the SS if they explained that they were only doing it for the money…

      • TundraGrifter

        One of the interesting things about the Nazi government as a whole is that it was a criminal enterprise, riddled with thugs stealing everything that wasn’t (and, often, what was) nailed down. The SS was deeply into art theft, narcotics (after all, who invented heroin?), etc.

        • Longstreet63

          Not the SS. Heroin was invented in 1874 as a cure for morphine addiction.
          Not a very good one, though.

          • TundraGrifter

            You are correct. I was referring to the German corporation that invented it.

          • TundraGrifter

            2.0: I disagree with you about heroin. It was an excellent cure for morphine addition. After heroin, who went back to morphine?

          • Longstreet63

            Plus it was an awesome cough suppressant.

      • wait! what?

        Donald probably thinks the Nuremberg Trials are NASCAR related.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Prosperity Jesus libel!…

  • Notreelyhelping

    I can’t watch her live or on tape: I’m always afraid she’ll unhinge her jaw and swallow a basket full of kittens. Including the basket.

  • calliecallie

    That’s what they say about the grift, it doesn’t pay to get emotionally invested in the client, er, mark.

  • DrBigHead

    Sounds to me like they are getting ready to hire her.

  • chiefkurtz

    Yes, Joe and Mike enabled Trump and his shills. Yes they enabled the normalization of him. I’m going to focus on the fact that they’re calling bullshit now, and saving my anger for those that haven’t.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      “Let’s… I tell you what, let’s forget the fact that you’re coming a little late to the party and embrace the fact that you showed up at all.”

    • Carpe Vagenda

      The problem is that they’re supporting the same narrative and policies they always have, just making themselves more palatable by being rude about the unpopular face of them. At least the Times swallows.

  • LarryHoudini

    I hope Satan doesn’t make her wear her Inauguration outfit, as that would be unfair even to those meriting eternal damnation.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Actually I’m feeling some disgust with Mika and Joe.

    Because what they’re saying here is that pimping a gross, indefensible candidate (who they also supported) all the way into the White House was not the dishonesty up with which they would not put.

    So, pretty much they got their preferred outcome, and now they’ve chosen the older woman to virtue signal at. And kinda fuck them.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      That and they’re saying this now, way after it would have been useful, and only about someone who’s lost Trump’s favor and can safely be mocked. Real courageous there, guys.

      • cmd resistor

        Truth. They flipped and flopped back and forth so many times for that Asshole (Trump) that they will never redeem themselves no matter what they say.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Yeah. There is no good side in this attention battle.

    • cmd resistor

      I agree. And far be it from me to defend Kellyanne Conway but they can quit their “superior dance.”

    • TJ Barke

      Seriously.

    • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

      Yup. All three of them can fuck right off.

    • Juan de Fuca

      I used to watch their show a couple years ago but stopped because I couldn’t stand Joe “correcting” Mika in public and Mika acting as the demure spouse in return. Because they reminded me a lot of how my own mother acts in company with her latest RWNJ husband.

      It’s not just guys either, when I first started dating my wife, she would do that whole “correcting” thing in public. I pulled her aside afterwards and said, “That stuff stops right now. I’m not your child. I would never do it to you, don’t do it to me or we can cut our losses right now.”

      Never happened again and that was over 20 years ago. Mutual respect goes a long way.

    • SeeTrain65

      They made their beds when they embraced Trump during the campaign.

      Fuck them.

  • Proud Liberal

    Apparently, selling your soul to the devil has become a thing.

  • Ilgattomorte

    I understand this because I remember a similar situation.
    It’s like I told my girlfriend, I didn’t want to lie to her. I just didn’t want to hurt her feelings. I mean, I didn’t even want to have sex with that other woman, it was just that she was so cold (her being naked and all). It was really more like huddling together for warmth, only with insertion. And the blowjob, well, come on, I didn’t want to be rude.

    I felt just awful about the whole thing, and believe me, I did take a shower afterwards.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      You mean you didn’t use the “I tripped and fell. Total accident!” defense?

      • Anna Rompage

        I’m not sure how that eggplant got in there, I just slipped & fell in the shower

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          “Doctor, that man with the cucumber problem is back.”

        • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

          “Million to one shot Doc!”

    • Longstreet63

      Anyway, it was her fault, since she did (insert any feelings hurting you can think of) and so what else were you supposed to do. She just didn’t trust you enough!

  • canes_pugnaces

    At a certain point you ARE your client. I have turned down commercials because the ‘client’ is BP. So yeah, I’ll go with der Wonkettlestein here: Bull shit. She has no soul.

  • natoslug

    No soul is now a job requirement. http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-39922784

    • Proud Liberal

      One day, Karma will kick her right in the ass with you know the c….r.

    • Vecchioivan

      Who would’ve thought a beauty pageant contestant would turn out to be such a dipshit?

    • bupkus231

      Is this Miss DC’s Miss Teen South Carolina 2007 moment?

      Or is she just wishing she could spew word salad like Miss Teen SC?

      • natoslug

        I’m guessing it’s her “fuck you, I got mine” moment. And in my head, at least, she pronounces her workplace as “U.S. Nukular Reglatry Commission.”

    • Pre-existing Ugly Dude

      Miss McCullough (C) also said she did not want to be described as a feminist

      Well, OK.

    • SeeTrain65

      Looks like she really needs that scholarship.

  • DensityDestiny

    I don’t understand why someone worth more than $30 million needs to work for Trump to pay for a summer vacay.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      because she gets a lot of shakily-tracked money from multiple Mercer revenue streams, quite a bit of which I imagine is somewhere overseas.

    • Beautiful Soup

      I thought it was more like, “this is my summer backpacking in Europe before I start my real grown-up life.”

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Some shit you just can’t wash off. Sorry Joe and Mika. You are just as much to blame as Kellyanne.

    • Clark_Nova

      You can’t wash the shit off of people who are turds to the core.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I bet Kellyanne picked up a lot of investment tips in the past year, so that will be a very luxurious bed she lies in, unless it turns out that she knew about treason with Russians, and then maybe not.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I call BS. She lies too effortlessly to have a soul.

  • Anna Rompage

    Someone once claimed Goebbels had a soul as well, and was just doing it for the money & fame… Go figure…

  • NotConvinced

    It seems like Mika made clear who the boss is and Joe is atoning.

  • WiscoJoe

    This is such a mean girl tactic. She probably told Mika that working for Trump makes her feel dirty, then she went back to Trump and was like, ew, being around Mika makes me feel so dirty. Anyhoo, Kellyanne Conway has no soul and will say/do anything.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      Bing bing bing! True this!

  • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

    Projection onto a fkn projector. The hypocracy is blinding.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    It’s just an eyeroll to the left….

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    The fake Ninth Circuit has been busy today, hearing arguments about Il Douche’s TravelBan2.
    The White House couldn’t wait to make some stupid comments.

    • cmd resistor

      Spicer? Waiting for some tweets. I saw one of the judges had a Hispanic-looking last name although I have no idea if it is, but probably enough to merit a “so-called judge” comment from Trump. Same guy worked for Legal Aid at one point.

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    OT: it seems Richard Spencer’s Nazi persona is an act and in reality he’s fabulous…

    https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/863965275699458054

    • jesterpunk

      Wasnt Kurt recently complaining liberals are mean for not letting Ann Coulter talk?

  • Dolmance

    She buttered her bread, and now she can sleep in it.

    • mardam422

      Oh, that Porky Pig! What an actor.

      • Dolmance

        The Barnyard Mr. Big.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      You mix metaphors purtier ‘n a twenty-dollar rhetorical bartender!

    • eggsacklywright

      Now that the train is out of the barn.

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    I have trouble with MSNBC possibly not renewing Lawrence’s contract, but leaving either one of these two on the air.

  • Pre-existing Ugly Dude

    This information would have been more useful if disclosed earlier.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Hey, lawyers represent murderers! And I don’t think they’re even required to ask ’em if they did it.

    That said, I still feel like there’s no number of showers that’ll wash this off, Kellyanne honey.

  • Olav_Pompatus

    I feel bad for the shower water. How does it get clean?

    • Amy!

      We filter it through a septic system. Tends to cause bacterial bloom from the richness of the feed, but hey, that’s what those systems are designed to deal with.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        Over which the grass is always greener.

    • Shoto

      Set it on fire. With fire.

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    At least KAC could be honest and admit she only was doing it for the money. Unlike Mika and Joe Scarborough-Brzezinski who sold their souls and don’t have enough self awaremess to publicly repent.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    You know, in all honestitude, this ain’t much of a revelation. All you have to do is compare what she said about Donald Trump while she was working for Ted Cruz with what she said later, as a DJT employee. ‘Tain’t exactly subtle.

    But people (myself included!) frequently need to be reminded of the obvious. We are a dumb li’l species.

    • zerosumgame0005

      personally I was kind of shocked. I thought water would melt Kellyanne!

      • Clark_Nova

        I’d rather think of her showering with dry cleaning fluid — clothed, because my brain refuses to imagine the alternative.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      She’s anybody’s media whore for a nickle.

  • Shoto

    Kellyanne Goebbels-Conway buttered her toast, and now she has to lie in it. Forever, and ever, amen.

    Also, too: RIP, Bowling Green Massacred.

    • rocktonsam

      I heard Donald is going to tear down the Bowling Green Massacre Memorial Monument to drill for coal.

    • SeeTrain65

      “You b-buttered your bread. N-now sleep in it.” – P. Pig

  • SecludedCompound

    Sounds like somebody’s afraid of getting caught up in the dragnet!

  • Shibusa

    Honey badger don’t give a shit what Mika says.

  • Mavenmaven

    Or, the KellyAnne Conway Chick Tract.

  • chicken thief

    Wow. If only she had had a choice to not get on the teeveez and lie through her ass….

    Clearly, the real victim here is Kellyanne!

  • thewalkindude

    The rats are beginning to edge toward the exits-

    Conservative pundit and ardent Trump supporter Ann Coulter is starting to think President Trump’s detractors might have a point. In an interview Sunday with The Daily Caller, Coulter admitted that she is “not very happy with what has happened” in Trump’s presidency. “It’s just that it has been such a disaster so far,” said Coulter, who wrote the book In Trump We Trust.

    She said that “everyone who voted for him knew his personality was grotesque,” but they’d been banking on Trump to act on the issues — and so far he hasn’t. “It’s not like I’m out yet, but boy, things don’t look good…”

    • BigCSouthside

      It’s almost like Coulter doesn’t know that literally the only thing Trump does well is flagrantly lie about everything

      Strike that he isn’t even a good liar. He’s only good at being a tenacious, albeit extremely poor liar

      • Bebecca

        and that he consistently lies. Has there ever been a person on a national stage that was so completely incapable of telling the truth? I assume everything he says is not true.

        • Jim Johnson

          Professor Irwin Corey?

        • Erala Contratista

          Hmmmm, he constantly lies, but his lies are inconsistent to a remarkable degree…usually 180°. From the previous lie.

    • WeaselPoo

      “his personality was grotesque” says grotesque personality Coulter.

      • TakingAmes

        Takes one to know one?

    • ltmcdies

      She think’s Trump is grotesque ???? This woman attacked 9/11 widows

      • eggsacklywright

        Right. She once complained that all the widows wanted was money and TV exposure. If only the interviewer had said, “So you have something in common.”

    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      They’re trying to isolate Republicanism from Trumpism, tying bells to their crazy old goat and sending him out of the Republican village to distract the political press so they can get on with doing every damn thing that the old goat, a good Republican courtier, was already doing—slashing the safety net, killing affordable care, destabilizing the already-fragile economy with massive tax cuts for the super rich, deregulating toxic industries (fossil fuels in particular), packing the federal bench with right-wing ideologues and Federalist Society loons, and axing our justice system. Oh yeah, and reviving the war on drugs. And celebrating white pride.

      Trumpism is Republicanism. Don’t let them get away with pretending it’s not.

      • Jim Johnson

        And voter suppresion laws in red states.
        Can’t have a level playing field when Republicans are making up the rules of the game.

      • Tiffany de Houston

        Bravo! Well said!

    • anomie

      I can see Ann Coulter and Kellyanne as drinking buddies.

  • cmd resistor

    So speaking of Joe, I read in a D Kos story about MJ this morning and a panel discussion about Trump,wherein: “”Here is the rub,” Morning Joe said. “They already found the string. And they are pulling on it based on my contacts within the FBI. And they are starting to tug on that string. And they are going to keep going. And it has accelerated because of the way he fired Comey. He knows it.””
    Interesting, if nothing else.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      My personal theory: Drumpf is guilty of financial crimes, probably involving dirty Russian money, and he’s terrified that the FBI will dig up the evidence.
      This sort of shit can get him jailed, so ‘pulling a Nixon’ – which can only get him impeached – is well worth the risk.
      Putin knows Russia’s mobsters (he’s one of them), and I’d bet he knows, which is why he has Trump’s tiny balls in a vise.

    • in the name of the moon

      For some reason this made me think about tampons.

      But i hope he’s right.

  • Jacob Prescott

    To quote Maher “I was just doing my job” is beginning to sound a lot like “I was just following orders.”

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Whereas Maher’s excuse is generally ‘I’m not really a fan of evil as such, but it really annoys liberals.’

  • ltmcdies

    And I would give a rats ass about KellyAnnes soul because…………….?

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      That’s the going rate.

      –Satan

      • Khavrinen

        I think you just got over-charged.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I don’t think knowing that your client is loathsome, and representing him anyway, is better than being a true believer. I think it’s worse.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Lawyers have to do it. Publicity flacks, not so much.

      • gkshenaut

        What about lawyers who are publicity flacks?

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Hey – wanna be outraged? Check out what happens when a gov’t program that pays for stuff meets the free market:
    http://time.com/4778645/john-oliver-kidney-dialysis-taco-bell/

    • SeeTrain65

      DaVita opened their location near me in an abandoned Ryan’s Steakhouse. On a large hill. Next door to a Aldi, which is next door to a Walmart. And I didn’t want to go into the place when it was a steakhouse.

      My county seat is class all the way, baby.

  • whitroth

    It’s unethical to misrepresent your client…. And I’m sorry, she doesn’t have a soul, she’s got two. Also heels… and she is most certainly a heel.

    My mother, when she was young, once told a bus stop evangelist that her father saved soles….

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    Mika with a vendetta is the best Mika.

  • O_Hellllllllp

    So maybe this information could have come out when it mattered? Maybe? No one had the integrity to leak this? I think that relects poorly on more people than Conway. I get that there is off-the-record stuff, but this is just….c’mon.

    • Joe and Mika liked Trump back when it was still fun and before he did stuff like personally sign EOs to kill people.
      Now they are playing the “let’s pretend we were never really for him!” game

      • O_Hellllllllp

        That’s how I remember it, too. You can almost hear them saying back then, “oh, c’mon Kellyanne! It can’t be that bad!” Probably why she felt safe saying it.

  • susan_g

    If Conway possessed a human soul she would not have been working for Ted Cruz.

  • William
  • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

    Wow, I respect all 3 of them even less than I did before, and I didn’t think that was possible.

  • Swampay

    “She may not be on TV that much anymore, but she will live fat and happy for the rest of her life, because of the work she has done propping up the Trump regime” unless they all end up in jail in which case not so much but it’ll probably be one of those cushy jails with badminton and nice high walls to keep out the folks with pitchforks.

    Finished that one off for ya.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    She HAD a soul. Sold it to the Devil. How do you think Beelzetrump won?

  • evergreendeadly

    She actually has several. Screaming, in constant terror and pain.

  • Albert E Short

    It will pass. Has anybody noticed how MSNBC is now giving unlimited airtime to any of George W Bush’s old staff who wants it. Michael Steele, Steve Schmidt, etc are all on at least once per night. I nearly sneezed coffee watching Nicole Wallace solemnly intone, as regards Spicer and Huckabee, that at least GWB never deliberately sent her out to lie. Saddam was about as close to a “nucular” bomb as I am, (actually less, I’m right near Sandia lab) and the oft-repeated claim that he was was, in my native Queens parlance, pew-ah manew-ah.

    It hit rock bottom a few nights ago, when Chris Hayes had to have on (and he noted that the 25 year old version of himself couldn’t believe it (the 55 year-old version of me couldn’t, either)) WaPo’s Cheney stenographer Jennifer Rubin, and none other than “NostraDumbass” himself, Bill “Democrats seem to believe this pop psychology that Shia and Sunni’s don’t get along” Kristol. Were it not for his buddy Paul Wolfowitz seizing the title for life in 2002, Kristol would be the front-runner for “Stupidest Man Alive Damned From His Own Mouth”.

    They’re all trying to pitch how credible they are compared to the carnival barker in the White House.

    And I’m faster than Steven Hawking.

  • Scooby

    Actually, I thought that if true it made it look as she had even less of a soul.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Not about to feel sympathy for KaCa. What I’ve got is contempt for Joe and Mika, who knew the whole thing was a con, were happy to be part of the con, and put ratings above country like a common Republican.

  • Panika MCD

    maybe they didn’t say “soul” but “spirits”. I’m sure she has a lot of spirits that she is even willing to share because WHO IS GOING TO PAY FOR THEIR OWN DRINKS AND LISTEN TO HER BITCH AT THE SAME TIME?! not you, not me, not Mika or Joe! no, she has no soul no more, but she certainly has a well stocked liquor cabinet. it numbs the feeling of being engulfed in flames and gets her people she can call “friends” even if they’re just there for free booze. and, sure, maybe her eyes always appear to be mostly closed because she forgot what the appropriate amount of falsies to wear is (NONE OF THEM, KATIE!), but I’m sure the booze helps with not having to see her boss straight out of the slits she’s peering through.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    What is that word they use for people who do repugnant stuff for money?

    • phoenix00

      Corrupt?

    • Nena

      Republican?

    • sarafina

      Prostitute??

  • UnsaltedSinner

    I guess Kellyanne hopes she will have a career after Trump leaves the White House in disgrace, and is laying the groundwork for her inevitable “I never liked him!” defense. It’ll probably work, too. Usually does.

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