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In an exclusive interview with none other than Glenn Beck, former Fox host Bill O’Reilly accused “the far Left” of orchestrating his downfall at Fox News. Apparently, someone from “the far left” figured out time travel and was able to go back to 2002 and force O’Reilly to start sexually harassing ladies who would later sue him for that reason. Somehow!

O’Reilly explained to Beck — without going into details — that this firing was all the work of some left-wing cabal trying to destroy voices they don’t like:

Look, this was a hit. And in the weeks to come, we’re going to be able to explain some of it. And it has to do with destroying voices that the far left and the organized left wing cabal doesn’t like. So that’s the general tone. Now, I can’t get specific because there’s a lot of legalities here.

O’Really, O’Reilly? Do go on!

There’s going to be an exposition soon, but I can’t tell you when about what exactly this crew that goes in and terrorizes sponsors, that threatens people behind the scenes, that pays people to say things, we’re going to name them, and it’s going to be a big, big story. The story will be downplayed by the left-wing media, but guys like you and talk radio and the Internet will get it. It’s coming. And, unfortunately, I was target number one, and it’s sad. It’s sad for me. It’s sad for my family. It’s grossly dishonest. I did what I thought I had to do to protect my family. But those days are over. From now on when I’m attacked, I’m going to take action.

Did we also sexually harass all those women for you? And allegedly beat your wife? Do we have someone on hand who does an amazing Bill O’Reilly impersonation to call your employees and tell them all about how much we want to rub them down with falafels? HOW DEEP DOES THIS GO? Also, you’ve been on the air for approximately a bajillion years — why, if we have so much power, did we not destroy you before?

In the interview, Beck compared O’Reilly’s firing with the fact that Tim Allen’s show “Last Man Standing” did not get a seventh season. Yet another example of the liberal conspiracy to destroy conservative voices!

I really want to — we should see if we can get Tim Allen on because there’s something weird going on with this Last Man Standing being canceled and maybe it’s just me, but it doesn’t help when the media is in such disarray and there’s so much distrust, ABC didn’t do itself a favor by canceling a show that had much better ratings than some of the other shows that they brought on.

Beck isn’t the only one who is pretty sure we all conspired to get “Last Man Standing” off the air. When the announcement was made on Thursday that the show would end after it’s sixth season due to behind-the-scenes funding issues, conservatives across the internet cried conspiracy. Their belief is that the Left conspired to get their most favoritest show canceled on account of Tim Allen saying that he liked Donald Trump.

In the midst of this, they failed to take note of one very important thing. SCANDAL HAS ALSO BEEN CANCELED. I’m pretty sure that if liberals had the power to manipulate ABC’s television programming schedule that we would have been more concerned with keeping Scandal on the air than seeking out some kind of revenge upon Tim “The Toolman” Taylor.

As much as I would love it if we did have such powers, I’m pretty sure we do not. And not for lack of trying, either! I can’t tell you how many damned petitions I signed to keep My So-Called Life on the air — and if you will notice — that did not happen. If it were up to the Left, it would probably still be on the air to this day and we’d all be tweeting at Claire Danes to just get the fuck over Mid-Life-Crisis-Jordan-Catalano. Who, coincidentally, just bought a new red car to write a terrible song about.

We also would have been able to save both Firefly and Veronica Mars.

Also, Phil Donahue would have kept his MSNBC show, with network executives fully encouraging his opposition to the Iraq War. Oh! And probably MSNBC would not currently be experiencing an influx of former Fox News anchors, and Megyn Kelly would not be hosting shit on the Today Show. Fox News probably wouldn’t even exist, and the History Channel would show like, actual history documentaries instead of that Ancient Aliens crap.

Let me be very clear here — I am pretty sure that at least 70% of liberals in this country had no damned idea that “Last Man Standing” was even a thing. Nor would any of us be the slightest bit bowled over to find out that Tim Allen was a conservative who loves Donald Trump. Were we to have such magic TV powers, there is no way in hell we would waste them on a show we barely even know exists.

Bill O’Reilly is another story. Bill O’Reilly has been on the air for decades and has always been consistently horrible. Just like pretty much every other jerk on Fox News, like every other jerk on talk radio. They are legion. He was not fired because he is an asshole who says asshole things, he was fired because he had one too many sexual harassment lawsuits against him. Had a far-left conspiracy been the cause of his dismissal, I’m pretty sure he would have been replaced with someone other than Tucker Carlson. What kind of shitty nefarious left-wing cabal are we that we allowed that to happen?

Seriously, we are the absolute worst at controlling the media. Hell, we’re not even actually that good at getting people kicked off the air just by boycotting their sponsors. I had a “Flush Rush” sticker on my damned Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper in elementary school, and yet somehow dude is still on the air.

The interesting thing here is that conservatives like Bill O’Reilly love to talk about “personal responsibility,” but won’t take any themselves when it comes to this whole “We’re being silenced!” thing. They appear to think that the Left owes it to them to amplify their voices and make sure their shows don’t get canceled for financial reasons or because sponsors didn’t want to be associated with a sexual harasser.

Maybe they should stop asking us for media handouts, huh? Go start their own network where every lady signs an agreement consenting to late-night phone sex with Bill O’Reilly and no one can ever cancel one of Tim Allen’s shows! Spend your time doing that rather than whining about how liberals are trying to “silence” you, which — again — we don’t seem to be doing a particularly good job of doing anyway.

[GlennBeck.com]

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  • Chadwells

    “This was a hit” is the verbiage of an asshole who thinks WAY too highly of himself. Who the fuck is douche bag BillO thinking he is important enough to orchestrate a “hit?” GTFOH. Dude….you were a moron TV host at an actual Fake News network….don’t get it twisted that you are some fucking martyr.

  • Nounverb911

    Wait! Lachlan and the other Murdoch son made O’Reilly shove his wife down the stairs?

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Robyn anticipated me -I don’t even know what “Last Man Standing” is. The only thing I’ve enjoyed with Tim Allen was Galaxy Quest. About all I watch on TV is Bobby Flay & American Pickers, mostly I do my shows on Prime or STARZ. ETA – and my Formula 1 racing is on TV as well.

  • Fartknocker

    Meh, I steal my cable, have Amazon Prime, and Roku. I come to Wonkette for the real news and to watch the embedded videos. It was nice to learn that Tim Allen had a tee-vee show for 7 years I never watched.

    • Little Lulu Ω

      I either.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    Fuck ALL OF THEM, Katie!!!! I think I have had it up to HERE with all the fuckshit this week.

    I’m gonna binge watch My Little Pony and drink fruity flavored girl-beer when I get home tonight. If us Libtards were really running things, that’s what would be on the tubes Every. Night. Friendship is fucking magic! (And, yes, I did say that like a menacing, scary black man)

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Which Girl-beer do you like? And whom do you consider Best Pony?

      • YoBunnyBunny

        I like Redd’s Strawberry Ale. Though the last time I was in the liquor store, they had every flavor but Strawberry. Like, wtf???

        I’m a split between Rainbow Dash and Rarity. Rainbow is all the AWESOMENESS but Rarity is a pony who knows how to throw a fit!

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Nice! I enjoy a Redd’s at times. Dashie is my favorite, but Rarity is right up there too, along with Fluttershy and Scootaloo.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Have you ever tried any Belgian lambics?

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I had to Google that, and I think I had a Raspberry Lambic once, and liked it, they sound yummy, and I adore Sourdough bread.

        • JCfromNC

          Rarity’s epic whinefest to the Diamond Dogs (or whatever they were called) earned her a warm spot in my heart for as long as it beats. :-)

          “I am NOT whining. I am COMPLAINING. Would you like to hear whining?”

          • YoBunnyBunny

            YAAAAAASSSSSS!!!!!! Rarity won my heart in that episode, too!

    • HorseChestnut

      I want to like that show. Is there a particularly good point of entry?

      • YoBunnyBunny

        I dunno… I only started watching it from the beginning/first season within the six or so months (I had to know what all the pony references were about here, lol). I think I’m on the 4th season now.

        Fortunately, while there is an overall series arc, it’s standard kid-friendly self-contained episode format, so you don’t necessarily have to follow each episode or season in order to know what’s going on or to enjoy it.

    • mancityRed6

      well, then I read that in Terry Crews’ voice

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Great minds, Man! Great minds…

  • Nounverb911

    Tim Allen’s show was still on? I made it though maybe the first 5 minutes when it premiered and promptly forgot it existed.

  • ltmcdies

    first off…colour me shocked that show has been on for six seasons????

    second …could this god damn whining right wing snowflakes stop ” being triggered” by every single imagined slight going…shows get cancelled….sometimes cools shows …coughFireflycough……so quite yer bitchin’ about the tv marketplace, assholes.

  • Chadwells

    Tim Allen is a tool, man.

  • “There’s going to be an exposition soon, but I can’t tell you when about what exactly this crew that goes in and terrorizes sponsors, that threatens people behind the scenes, that pays people to say things, we’re going to name them, and it’s going to be a big, big story.” yada, yada, yada…

    Hmm, on paper O-Reilly does a pretty good trump impersonation.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s all going to come out. Next week. Or the week after next. It’s hard to say. But it’s going to come out. Someday. And it’s going to be awesome.

      And that is all the mouthbreathers need. Assurances from their high holy ones that their fears and suspicions will be confirmed and they will be validated.

      Soon.

  • Nounverb911

    Breitfart or the Alex Jones ‘Wife Abusement hour’?

    https://twitter.com/NYDailyNews/status/863010377998708736

  • Michael Smith

    Conservatives do love that show. A friend of my parents who claims he doesn’t watch TV anymore because it is all “too liberal” made an exception for this show. I guess Tim Allen’s character was a kind of Archie Bunker that they could all relate and look up to. And I saw a fake news site article bitching about how it was cancelled because Allen was a conservative, and reporting that ABC’s executives were very mean to Tim Allen.

    Allen recently came out and said being conservative in Hollywood was like being in 1930’s Germany, which is a favorite conservative motif right now. So this will probably add to his messiah complex and his viewers’ victim complexes. But you can’t keep a show on the air because its star is trying to back you into a political corner.

  • BearGHAZI

    Hmmmm, you know WHO ELSE blamed all his problems on a shadowy left wing cabal?

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Alex Jones?

    • Nounverb911

      Amelia Earhart? (Or was that the right wing?)

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I think she had problems with both wings.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      My uncle Gerald?

    • janecita

      Pinochet?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      That dead baby bird I found on my sidewalk?

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    I’m still pissed off over the cancelation of Firefly and that was 15 years ago

    • Me too… :(

    • Little Lulu Ω

      I wrote ABC, begging them not to cancel My So-Called Life. They wrote me a nice letter back, basically telling me, thanks, we’ll do whatever we fucking want, and we want to cancel.

      • Miss Dill

        I loved that show.

  • DAT

    You may not have the power to get shows cancelled, but I personally got Dusty’s Trail cancelled because I felt it was tarnishing the brilliant social satire of Gilligan’s Island.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    but guys like you and talk radio and the Internet will get it.

    True. They get Porn Hub updates every day in their inbox.

  • Scoot

    ABC also cancelled The Real O’Neals, which was a super liberal gaymosexual hippy show, so we are apparently really terrible at controlling the media if we can’t keep that on the air, either.

  • jesterpunk

    Tim Allen had a show after Home Improvement? I thought he was just making Santa Clause movies?

  • Chadwells

    OT: I really think Comey is making a big mistake by declining to testify. He is giving Fuckface a reason to believe he scared him away with his threat tweet this morning.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I wonder if he would have been limited in what he could say if he showed up voluntarily, and if that changes if he is subpoenaed.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        In any case, I think I’ll still take a fifth.

        • Chadwells

          Maybe Comey is happy to let Rosenstein take the lead after his show yesterday?

        • Chadwells

          Also…none of this will stop Dampnut from thinking he scared Comey off.

      • Chadwells

        I reckon it depends if his testimony would have been closed or open. Did they say which it was going to be?

        • ariel_gee_398

          Closed, but I’m not sure that makes much of a difference. I’ve seen separation agreements and NDAs where the party is not permitted to voluntarily provide info to an investigation or assist in litigation against the former employer, but there’s always (and has to be) a carve-out for compliance with due process of law, meaning that it’s not a violation if they testify after being subpoenaed.

          • Chadwells

            Ah…so if I understand what you mean, Comey would have more leeway if he waited for a subpoena?

          • ariel_gee_398

            Basically. It would give him cover for testifying without risking running afoul of any agreement he may have signed when he left, assuming those documents are negotiated and signed already. This is pure speculation on my part, of course.

          • Chadwells

            Makes a ton of sense, speculation or otherwise!

        • ltmcdies

          it was going to be closed.

    • Hemp Dogbane

      It’s now someone else’s job to not-comment.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I think that Comey is much more effective behind the scenes.

      • Chadwells

        I don’t disagree with you. I just think he is giving Fuckface Twitter ammo.

  • Michael Smith

    If we have reached the point in which the phenomenon of sponsors abandoning a person accused of sexual harassment and domestic abuse is a liberal conspiracy, I’m starting to wonder what kind of soul you need to not be a part of that conspiracy.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      They didn’t abandon him, they were TERRORIZED BY LIBERAL SHARIA LAW. And then abandoned him.

  • ariel_gee_398

    You’d think these free-market loving capitalists would understand that their shitty behavior reduces demand for their shitty products. Which makes them less attractive to advertisers, which lowers their value to the network, which makes them more likely to get shit-canned. But I guess it’s only capitalism when you’re subsidizing corn or allowing health insurance companies to charge money for premiums on policies that they know they will never pay out any claims on.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Next thing you’re going to tell me is that “My Mother The Car” has been cancelled.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kz3hfJweE0

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Tim Allen’s $4.2 million annual salary (a little less than a quarter million per episode) certainly didn’t have anything to do with it I’m sure…

    • Chadwells

      We paid Sarah Palin more for her TLC series.

  • Chadwells

    Would a snowflake cry about a perceived “hit?” Yes. Yes they would. Pot…meet kettle. Besides…BillO ain’t worth the proverbial bullet.

  • Michael Smith

    Yep those damn liberals have control over entertainment and can destroy anyone they disagree with, while conservatives have to suffer through liberal sermons without recourse.

    That’s why the Dixie Chicks are still one of America’s top country acts.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I bought my first Dixie Chicks CD after the cons got all Butthurt. They make some good music!

      • Michael Smith

        They do! And the country music crowd used to love them, until they found out that these ladyfolk were the holders of unauthorized opinions.

        • jesterpunk

          Remember them getting really mad about this shirt?

          https://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzeg9vrNxu1r8svaqo1_500.jpg

          • BMW

            I don’t remember what they thought the “F.U.T.K.” stood for.

          • Michael Smith

            Haha yeah. It was widely interpreted to mean “fuck you Toby Keith.”

            So I just went to see if Bush responded to their criticism (I didn’t think he did) so that I could compare him to Trump, but Bush did say something a few months later:

            “They can say what they want to say. They shouldn’t have their feelings hurt just because some people don’t want to buy their records when they speak out. Freedom is a two-way street. I don’t really care what the Dixie Chicks said. I want to do what I think is right for the American people, and if some singers or Hollywood stars feel like speaking out, that’s fine. That’s the great thing about America.”

            Although that probably seemed petty for a president at the time, now it looks pretty noble. Trump would call them failed artists with horrible record sales and no talent.

          • jesterpunk

            They said it meant Fuck You Toby Keith.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlO8xaAIazE

          • Michael Smith

            Haha I was under the impression that they meant for it to say Fuck You Toby Keith, but there was some official other explanation.

          • Jgb979

            Man what a difference a decade makes.

            George W sounds like George Washington given the current shit show

          • Opalescent Riddles

            That’s downright Shakespearean compared to our current YAMmerer-in-chief’s effluent.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Yup, that’s what got me, not just that I agreed with the Chicks, it was “how *dare* these Wimmin not love Bush?”.

          • SecludedCompound

            Man, that was a rough time. If you didn’t have an American flag somewhere on your Hummer, you were pretty suspect to a lot of people. Thank god we’re in the majority now.

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            Was that meant as a double entendre? If so, nicely done.

          • Opalescent Riddles

            If I’d wanted you to have a double entendre, I’d have given it to you.

          • Clararharper

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          • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

            I love bush. WAIT! I may have misunderstood.

        • (((fka_donnie_d)))

          See under Nelson, Willie

  • Nounverb911

    Scandal got cancelled? Good, there wasn’t a sympathetic character in the whole show.

    • Shoto

      Imma have to take your word on that. I never fired that one up.

  • Shoto

    “Apparently, someone from “the far left” figured out time travel…”

    Obama’s time machine, duh.

  • Last Man Standing was marginally better than watching Fox News, but it had a boring, uninspired storyline, one-dimensional characters, and way to much politics in it (this is judging from the dozen or so episodes I had to watch last time I was at my parents’ house).

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      At least you didn’t have to watch Bill O’Reilly blaring at 92 dB on a 50 something inch giant flat screen. I get seizures everytime I visit my parents and I’m not even epileptic.

      • ACTUALLY I did. Do we have the same parents, perhaps? No wait, my brother turned out to be a conservative troll, he’d never complain about that…

  • memzilla Ω

    Serial wife abuser meets convicted cocaine trafficker? Yeah, two heroes of the alt-reich, for sure. Cry me a fuckin’ river.

  • jesterpunk

    If we have so much power why isnt ST:TNG still on?

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Damn right!

  • undercover epicurean

    It’s true! It’s the same reason Clint Eastwood can’t get nunna his movin pickshers made!

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    So that’s why they cancelled Son of Zorn.

    • janecita

      Man, that show was funny!

  • mancityRed6

    yeah, I didn’t know that show was a thing.
    and now I will go bow down before my hulu and netflix and beg them to never get it

  • Slamtundra

    I loved my trapper keeper. It opened and closed so smoothly. So nice.

  • janecita

    I also miss “My so called life!” I’m still pissed that Terriers and Life got canceled, also, Tim Allen isn’t funny.

  • Shoto

    “…this firing was all the work of some left-wing cabal trying to destroy voices they don’t like…”

    OK, I admit it. I was offered Big SorosBucks to bring about the downfall of Bill O’Reilly. One thing does puzzle me, however: Did the SorosBucks check get lost in the mail? I got “left-wing cabal” expenses, goddammit!

  • Spurning Beer

    You know who else controls the media?

    The Jews. That’s who.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Sitcoms get cancelled because the writers get lazy and resort to creating a different scenario to tell the same jokes over and over. See Married With Children for example.

  • Mavenmaven

    The Left popularized falafel, the cause of his downfall.

  • Hemp Dogbane

    The far-left also tanked the career of that Dennis Whatsisname comedian.

    • Michael Smith

      Its almost like people with a good sense of humor need political commentary to be intelligent at least for it to be funny.

    • Shoto

      alleged comedian.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      I was always leery of that guy.

      • Hemp Dogbane

        I think I was thinking of Miller. Smug, big vocabulary, might have been on NFL. Had an HBO show long ago. Smug.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          Oh, the hair guy. Fuck him too.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Yeah, he did one season of Monday Night Football, and he sucked. Funny thing, one of the guys he beat out for the gig was…Rush Limbaugh.

      • Miss Dill

        That is one angry guy.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Nice essay, Robyn. Thank you to you and the other Wonk-writers for doing what you do.

  • Courser_Resistance

    I haven’t watched a single thing on ABC in years, particularly since they emphasize that ABC Family shit all the time. I don’t have a ‘family’ so I don’t need pureed entertainment.

    Thank you very much

    • BMW

      Do you mean ABC Family the cable channel? Because they replaced that with something called “Freeform.”

  • Michael Smith

    I will say that I liked Home Improvement when it was on, during which time I was a child. But that was back in the day when network shows were still the king of evening entertainment. Now, unless you’re the Big Bang Theory, you know what game you are getting into with network sitcoms.

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    If my employer gave me $25 million to go away, I’d be gone.

    • jesterpunk

      Damn right, that would be enough to retire to a nice remote place away from crazy people and never have to worry about working again.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        I’ve been reconnoitering remote places for retirement, and what few people are there all seem to be a mix of others who are trying to get away from crazy people, and actual crazy people.

        • Lamashtar

          Sometimes the crazy people are there because we prefer them to stay away from the rest of us.

    • janecita

      Me too, but O’Reilly is a narcissist and loves the spotlight.

      • Michael Smith

        You know what the Beatles said – Money can’t buy me the demagogue’s satisfaction from rousing the stupid masses into a hateful lather.

        • Khavrinen

          I don’t think that was McCartney, it was probably Lenin Lennon…

          • Fancy Meau-Faux
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    • Gayer Than Thou

      I’ll make it easy for them: I won’t even sexually harass my co-workers! Win-win!

  • Ωbjectifier

    Last Man Standing was cancelled?

    By Grabthar’s hammer, by the suns of Worvan, you shall be avenged!

    • Anna Elizabeth

      My Baby Girl is in college, we got to Skype a couple of weeks ago, and she was like “I saw an old movie you’d love! Tim Allen was like your Star Trek captain, and it was really funny.” And I was thinking “My goodness I’m old.” XD

      • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

        Our neighborhood movie theater let my daughters’ school show that, to raise money to send kids to Space Camp. That was in 2005–oh, gosh, I feel old now, too!

        • Anna Elizabeth

          XD Baby Girl isn’t related by blood, but she’s my Daughter in every other way.

          She is way smarter than I am, too.

          • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

            We are both lucky to have smart young women in our lives!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Yes we are. :) Baby Girl is amazing, Y’all would love her.

      • Boscoe
  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    TRUE FACT: Tim Allen’s real name is Timothy Allen Dick
    TRUE FACT: Bill O’Reilly is a dick.

    • Shoto

      Coincidence? We report, you decide.

      • Three Finger Salute

        “We distort, you abide. You can’t explain that.”

    • janecita

      Fun fact, Tim Allen is not only a Dick, he is also a Snitch.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Yup. He knew he couldn’t do the long stretch, so of course he sold out whoever he could.

    • Lucas Foxx

      I read that as “Bill O really is a dick”

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    GALAVANT! Pretty sure the evil, right-wing, anti-musical cabal destroyed my favorite TV show.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    It’s not just a liberal conspiracy. I used my magical feminist vagina to cancel Bill O and Tim Allen’s unknown show because I hate testosterone. It’s the one weird trick.

    • Shoto

      That’s scary. But intriguing…

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        “I find your ideas intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.”

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Oh, and like everything else, the idea that Last Man Standing is “highly-rated” is baloney.
    On a good day, it draws about 6 million viewers. That doesn’t even crack the Top 30 programming. (By contrast, Scandal was still a top 20 show and drew about 10-12 million).

    • Truthiness2U

      To be fair, Friday has lower ratings than other days of the week, so shows on Friday’s will have lower ratings overall, thus can still be renewed with lower numbrs. I don’t know why, as I don’t actually watch a lot of television (RuPaul’s Drag Race is probably the only series I watch regularly at this point,) but I like tracking tv show ratings.

      So I visit tvbythenumbers at least once a week, and they have a cancel/renew index, and one of the things is “is it a Friday show?” because it will be expected to have lower numbers than the rest of the week. Tim Allen’s show was doing okay, but not great for Friday, BUT it’s expensive! AND it’s not a Disney owned production, Fox owns it. So of course as us Libtards know, cancelling it was a strictly business decision.

  • OddMan

    Call me odd – please, but I like Tim Allen and liked Last Man Standing. It’s a OK sitcom with good writers. I like sitcoms, but then again I am old enough to remember “My Mother the Car” and when “The Beverly Hillbillies” was the most popular TV show in the world.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Hey, you do you.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      We’ll have to see if we can use our liberal super-powers to end his career. What a fucking tool. And that picture. You know he’s deeply conflicted.

  • Marceline

    “I am pretty sure that at least 70% of liberals in this country had no damned idea that “Last Man Standing” was even a thing.”

    This. And this mess ran for SIX seasons.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Never heard of it.

    • SomeBigRedDog

      I didn’t know ABC was still a thing.

      • They’re the ones broadcasting Blackish. Get woke, people!

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Hollywood leftists killed John Wayne, too. And Jon Voight, probably. Or maybe he’s still alive and they just disappeared him.

    • Wild Cat

      The odious Voight’s early films were mostly edgy and liberal.
      He’s a sick fuck from the racist bowels of NYC’s suburbs.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      John Wayne.. The true patriot that deferred himself out of WWII so he could play a soldier in films (Just think of all the roles he got while the real American actors actually signed up and went to war).

  • BMW

    In fairness, “Scandal” isn’t actually ending until next year.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Can I still love “Galaxy Quest”?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Sure. I mean, he’s just playing a (not so loosely-based) William Shatner pastiche.

      • Boscoe

        I still want a “behind the scenes” feature on how they gave Sigourney the epic cleavages…

      • desida

        Meh, I have way more respect for Shatner. “Accidentally” flubbing take after take of Kirk kissing Uhura, so they had no choice but to air it and piss off the entire South? Awesome.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I do. :)

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Also too, I have a model kit of the Protector in the same scale as my TNG-era Starship kits.

      • Boscoe

        Those better have lighting kits… ;P

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I have a couple of sets, I have 2 Galaxy-class molded in clear plastic. :D

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
  • ManchuCandidate

    Oh silly Cons. It’s not the liebrul MSM controls everything. ABC is a fucking hot bed of conservatism (hi Diznee). CBS produces shows that are geared towards olds. No one knows what the fuck NBC is doing even NBC. Faux showed 24 for almost a decade.

    It’s about $$$$. If shows about racist stereotypes and Tim Allen playing a jackass makes shit tons of money in syndication then that’s what the MSM will make. Hence, the Kardashian Klan of Karikatures and their grip on US Amercia’s most brain dead network… E!.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      TLC is even more brain dead, IMHO.

      • jesterpunk

        Remember when TLC was The Learning Channel?

        • Boscoe

          I do. :(

          • jesterpunk

            I used to love TLC and discovery channel as a kid. They always had something interesting on. Now you are lucky to get anything good on unless you go to BBC America or get lucky and one of the channels is showing some science show.

          • Boscoe

            Yeah, first the history Channel turned into the Hitler Channel and then everybody just threw up their hands and started filling all the time slots with reality-TV. Sad, but ultimately it freed up a lot of my time. :P

          • jesterpunk

            Now the History channel is the reality TV and Ancient Aliens channel.

          • Three Finger Salute

            “I’m not saying it was Hitler… but it was Hitler”

          • Khavrinen

            ( But they don’t. )

      • LucindathePook

        And Biography!

  • Truthiness2U

    To get my “actually…” on. Scandal wasn’t cancelled. Shonda just didn’t want it to go past 7 seasons. Now her series The Catch was cancelled.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      The Catch was awful. I am shocked that Grey’s Anatomy is still on too.

      • Truthiness2U

        Yeah, shocked about Grey’s Anatomy as well. And it’s still doing well in the ratings. Weird.

  • Chadwells

    Tim Allen’s dumb show cancelled….Invader Zim movie coming out on Nick. Yin/Yang….the universe is balanced.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fb9a25065c39ba46c236b020ce6e0c8bbe35959e7b51f026f24cefab78b3198c.gif

    • janecita

      OMG, when?

      • Chadwells

        No air date yet…was announced early April this year!

        • janecita

          Samurai Jack, Invader Zim and the second season of Attack on Titan, our president sucks, but cartoons/anime still rock!

          • Chadwells

            YASS! I need my Adult Swim to calm my nerves and turn my brain off about Fuckface before I go to sleep!!! And MMJ!

          • Tokays_don’t_blink

            Oh yes, must have cartoon hour before attempting to sleep.

    • TJ Barke

      Doom doom doom, go home now!

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    I’ve only got one thing to say to conservatives who claim their voices are being silenced. We’ve been force fed your bullshit nonstop for 40 years that has been enacted into policy and look where we are now. We’re sick of it.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I’ma just say that if liberals were in charge, Keith Olbermann would still be on MSNBC and Steve “I Personally Vetted $arah Palin” Schmidt wouldn’t be.

  • jesterpunk

    BillO the only thing you where missing is how this is part of the war on Christmas or Christianity. Better luck next time.

    https://skepticalsunday.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/christian-persecution.jpg

  • guppy06

    Let me be very clear here — I am pretty sure that at least 70% of liberals in this country had no damned idea that “Last Man Standing” was even a thing.

    So it’s not just me? Thank God

    • janecita

      I had never heard of it until today.

  • anwisok
    • Parakeetist

      Squee!

  • How can I join the left-wing TV cabal, because I still want to have some words with the Inner Circle about cancelling Firefly, damn it.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Yeah, what was up with that?

  • mrFawkes

    So wingnuttery is boycotting ABC. A shame it will succumb to their power/influence and go extinct like Starbucks, Hamilton, Beauty and the Beast, Hawaii, Target…

    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      …Colbert….California…

  • canes_pugnaces

    Dear Dumbfuck Rush, et al:

    Shows get cancelled. People get fired. Grow the fuck up.

    — Canes

  • Marceline

    What’s funny is that I can barely keep up with all the television that I actually want to watch. I have no fucks to give about how Tim Allen pays his rent.

    • Boscoe

      Right? I didn’t even know that show existed until right now. And I STILL don’t give a shit. Weird.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Boy, whiny-ass titty babies sure are soft, aren’t they? They want us “snowflake” liberals to suck it up, and their attitude toward anything we bring up is “So what/you lost/get over it” – but let one of them take a well-deserved hard fall for atrocious personal behavior and they have to run to their safe spaces for a kiss-n-cry.

    • Boscoe

      And somehow it is NEVER their own fault.

  • Me not sure

    I hear that zombie Hitler’s next book is going to be called “O’Reilly’s Last Days”. I hear he “writes it himself”.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3a16b5c333f46aa86ab892772585e5f9d9ee5bc58d99933b5a2d718fe0c34b86.jpg ys”

  • Me not sure

    I hear that zombie Hitler’s next book is going to be called “O’Reilly’s Last Days”. I hear he writes it himself.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3a16b5c333f46aa86ab892772585e5f9d9ee5bc58d99933b5a2d718fe0c34b86.jpg ys”

    • Three Finger Salute

      Killing Hitler: The Story of Hitler, The Man Who Killed Hitler (and Killed the Man Who Killed Hitler). AKA Hitlerception.

      • Me not sure

        “Now with even more Hitler!”

  • They also cancelled that wonderful ‘WASHINGTON DC IS INVADED BY ALIEN MIND CONTROL BUGS’ show BrainDead. It was smart and hilarious and dead on its satire of DC.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnsiZOJjfUg

  • TJ Barke

    The fuckers wouldn’t know far left if the YPK executed them.

  • Tim Allen was still on the air? Huh. If ABC had some objection to the content of his show… probably they wouldn’t have put it on the air in the first place? I DUNNO I’M JUST SPITBALLING HERE

  • SecludedCompound

    I / AM / The 70%!
    I / AM / The 70%!

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend

    The magical powers I wield determine your showbiz fate asshole. If I find you uninteresting or tedious, I will change the channel.

  • Nick Scroggs

    My one comment for the day, this insanity and conspiracy mongering by right wingers is just, insane. They also canceled Dr Ken, probably for health care reasons. Or more likely because network TV is dying, ratings are going down, shows just suck. It is not good for my brain. Also, a very stupid question, but when gay guys have sex, who falls asleep first?

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Who says anyone gets any sleep?

  • A Groucho Marxist

    Your favorite show gets canceled and you take to Twitter to cry foul, and you’re calling who a “snowflake”?

    (“snowflake”, by the way, being the stupidest attempt at an insult in possibly forever)

  • Jacob Prescott

    Conservatives crying that some low brow comedy show didn’t get a 7th season…and liberals are the snowflakes huh?

    • Boscoe

      It’s almost as if they have no self-perception…

    • I heard that if you blame liberals hard enough, you eventually attain sainthood.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I’m just happy that the left gets another chance to shut down American Idol again.

  • georgiaburning

    Between his two shows, Tim Allen streched a thin premise and minor talent into years of appeal to a declining base of devoted idiot viewers. Lesson? Don’t take defeating Drumpf in 2020 for granted.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Wait, verbally abusing and generally disparaging women are good family values…? Conservatives need Jesus, man. Or Muhammad. or Buddha. Or someone else who can tell them how terrible they are.

    • georgiaburning

      My mom

    • Count Awesome

      Getting caught trafficking a shit ton of cocaine and turning informant to save your own ass is another upstanding personal trait.

      • h4rr4r

        I respect the former a lot more than the latter.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “I like your Christ, but I don’t like your Christians.” -Gandhi

  • Truthiness2U

    And it only took 6 years for Librulls to use their evil powers to get Last Man Standing, cancelled. So in the meantime, huge jerk, and raging hypocrite Tim Allen, made millions each year.

    I wish Librulls would hating me would get me that kind of cash. My Soros checks just aren’t cutting it.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    https://youtu.be/Mapr5l9SuYU

    Golly I miss Alan Rickman.

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      He was awesome, and had amazing range. Really liked him in CBGB. I just looked up his filmography and see tons of movies that are going to go on my “to be watched” list!

      • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

        My favorite is still “Sense and Sensibility”…

        • Bad Tom

          Thank you for the recommendation!

      • Vel Venturi

        If you’re in the mood for a good cry, check out ‘Truly, Madly, Deeply.’

  • Turgid Love Skwerl

    As much as I would love it if we did have such powers, I’m pretty sure we do not.

    Oh we do.

    Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!

  • TJ Barke

    Why we don’t like “conservative” voices; they’re exclusionary, selfish, ignorant, militaristic, short sighted, rapacious, intellectually dishonest, imperialistic, I could go on…

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Let’s not forget the bigotry and as I mentioned below, outright abuse.

      • TJ Barke

        That’s partially what I meant by exclusionary.

    • A Groucho Marxist

      Unfunny…

    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      …corrupt,venal,anti-American….

    • Bad Tom

      Stupid. Thunderingly stupid.

  • A Groucho Marxist

    “The story will be downplayed by the left-wing media, but guys like you and talk radio and the Internet will get it. It’s coming. And, unfortunately, I was target number one, and it’s sad. It’s sad for me. It’s sad for my family. It’s grossly dishonest.”

    – Bill O’Reilly, Agent of the “No Spin Zone”

    • Boscoe

      He’s clearly seen the writing on the wall and knows he has no future unless he ramps up the crazy, Alex Jones-style. So from this point on, it’s going to be endless PENDING exposes that will “rip the lid off” the massive left wing conspiracies against Bill O’Rielly, but somehow he’ll never *quite* get to the point where he actually reveals the evidence…

  • jesterpunk

    Will Tim Allen join Milo Yabadabadoopoolises comedy tour now with BillO, Ann Coulter and Ted Nugent now that his show is cancelled?

  • h4rr4r

    Us far left wackos need to force ABC to bring back Pushing Daisies.

  • Suse

    I’m still lamenting the demise of Frank’s Place in 1988.

    • LucindathePook

      God, I loved that show.

  • Bill Slider

    I has magical TV powers. It’s called knowing where the off button is located.

    • Bad Tom

      See, I lost the remote in the bowels of the couch two years ago, so…

  • Boscoe

    It’s funny the way paranoid conservative conspiracy theories crumble to dust if you just apply 15 seconds of rational thought to them…

    • ryp

      Which is why they never go away in conservative circles.

      • Boscoe

        ZING!

  • ryp

    I was in that 70% who were unaware the show existed. Until today. Thanks Wonkette.

    I don’t think I’d even thought about Tim Allen in any respect since watching Galaxy Quest, in which he did a pretty decent William Shatner parody.

    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      Ah, you missed the part where he compared being a Conservative to being a Jew in Nazi Germany. Because most Jews in Nazi Germany had TV shows, enormous houses in nice areas, and complete freedom to move about, live not in a ghetto or death camp, have bank accounts, jobs, and appear publicly.

      • SeeTrain65

        (cough *Pat Sajak* cough cough)

  • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

    If us lefties had any clout at all, Firefly would be in its 15th season.

    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      Well, for one thing, there would certainly be no Fox News.

    • Eh, some lefties I know hated Firefly because it was “Confederates in space”.

  • ryp

    i’m just hoping the liberal cabal uses it’s powers to get “The Donald Trump Show” cancelled before the season ends. Worst writing on television.

    • Three Finger Salute

      SAD!

    • Opalescent Riddles

      Bad premises! Unbelievable!

    • Lamashtar

      People don’t realize it was a children’s show.

  • SomeBigRedDog

    I’m off to write a fan letter to Netflix and Hulu algorithms for never suggesting this Tim Allen shit in seven years.

  • Jesse

    “The FAR LEFT forced me to masturbate AGAINST MY WILL while I was on the phone with those women.” – Bill O’Reilly

    • sadboy

      Never let the right hand know.

      • Jesse

        Feels like cheating! 😃

        • Bad Tom

          No, no. Compartmentalized high security.
          ——-
          Eyes only. Ummm.

  • Nockular cavity

    For years now, I’ve been using my magical liberal Hollywood control powers to make Guillermo del Toro’s version of At the Mountains of Madness finally happen, but obviously they haven’t worked worth a shit.

    • Bobathonic

      Shit, is that a potential thing? Imma add my super awesome magic media powers to yours, that’s SURE to make it so!

  • Dolmance

    I’m a Liberal Red Terror kind of guy, and I never even heard of this show.

  • Edith Prickly

    1. Somebody gave Tim Allen another TV show?
    2. Six years is a pretty decent run for a show starring a one-joke wonder people were already tired of in the ’90s.
    3. BillO, if a “left-wing cabal” had the power to kick you off TV, it would have happened as soon as those Andrea Mackris documents went up on The Smoking Gun. You got fired because your behaviour (and the payoffs) got to be too much for the Murdochs to stomach, which is saying something.

    Also, if I had the power to keep TV shows on the air – Square Pegs would be going into its 35th season.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Hey Bill, was that security guard you hired a liberal? You know, the one you shocked when he saw you half nekkid dragging your wife down the stairs?

  • Poly_Ester

    BillO a victim of ‘TRUMPED UP’ accusations, you say?

  • Angela Ruzzo

    For the record, I have never watched “Last Man Standing” and not just because I don’t like Tim Allen. I did, however, gather 1000 names on a petition to save Dark Shadows in 1971 (it failed) so does that make me a cabal? What about the petition I signed to save “Dinosaurs” in 1994? Was that a cabal? That didn’t work either. I put a hex on several people at various times (i.e. sociopathic male bosses), as well as one on the rooster that lives a block away and crows every morning at 4:30 am, but those didn’t work either.

    I had no idea O’Reilly was a paranoid psychotic. That could explain a lot.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Conservatives are the biggest fucking WATBs on the planet. They spend their entire lives either bullying others, moral scolding others for their lack of “bootstraps” or whining and crying and playing the victim the moment they get the slightest pushback for doing the first two things.

    • Panika MCD

      we need a new word for them because Edmund Burke they are not. there are very few people who really qualify as “conservative” anymore and they’re pretty pissed that these rage monkeys, religious zealots and fascists are co-opting their good name.

      • BosGrl

        It’s true. I know some rather conservative religious folks who absolutely despise Drumpf. As they should.

        • Bad Tom

          That’s a good sign.

          • BosGrl

            Yeah but there just aren’t enough of them to make a difference…

          • Bad Tom

            Your experience might well differ, but I think there is a national trend.

            Trump is not executing some master plan. He is simply reacting to events. He shows signs not of early dementia, but of midline dementia.

            Trump’s claim that he invented the term “priming the pump” was not some crafty troll of the editor of The Economist. It was a symptom of a seriously ill man.

            His dementia is only going to get worse. In a year, if he is still President, he will begin to openly hallucinate. No joke.

            That is the course of this disease, even if the patient is not in the highest pressure job in the world.

            Then he will be removed.
            Because there will be no other choice.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        True- I’ve struggled with finding a label for them. The modern conservative movement is in no way, shape or form conservative by any legitimate definition of the word. They are actually angry reactionary faux populists- none of them would hesitate a second to violate any and all conservative norms in the pursuit of what they want. But they self identify as conservatives so I’ve defaulted to calling them what they claim to be. Besides, I hope it irritates the shit out of real conservatives to the point they do something to distance themselves from these imposters. True conservatives are guilty of making the Faustian bargain to let these frauds into their tent to win elections, so they deserve to get smacked down and humiliated for their association with these whackjobs.

        • Panika MCD

          there’s a give and take with true conservatives. I mean, I’d rather have them on the other side of the street trying to fix their party than to have them in our party as DINOs. but the business community is starting to get really pissed, so maybe they’ll soon have the funding to start a Conservative Party in this country.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I agree. I can have an intelligent conversation with a classical conservative and at least know we’re both on the same page here in the real world. By the end, I may not agree with them but I can at least respect their opinion and POV. And I can be confident that we both want what’s best for the country, even if we disagree about how to get there. But they made the deal with the devil to win elections, so they deserve to have their noses rubbed in it- consequences, bitches! Until they decide that their pride and integrity are more important than electoral victories they need to be tied to all the nutters, religious fanatics, bigots and criminals in their midst at every opportunity. They need to kick those clowns to the curb, even if it means they lose a few elections in the process.

          • Panika MCD

            to be fair: in TX they have come to us trying to get us to keep any commercial worthy events from happening so they can vote their conscience. it’s the Occupiers who keep fucking that one up–and they can’t even be bothered to vote–in fact, they chase around our voter registrars yelling at them about how “voting silences” us. also too: see the Austin American-Statesman and Texas Tribune articles I posted on the open thread–sometimes they openly despise the fuckers.

        • Swampgas_Man

          Well, we discovered how “Conservative”, not to mention “Religious”, they are, when they threw their support behind Cheeto.

        • Bad Tom

          Reactibabies.
          ——-
          Sort of catchy, but it doesn’t look good on the page.

          • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

            Cultservatives?

            I mean, they mostly function like a cult.

          • Parakeetist

            Cool name for a band.

  • Just Noh

    as someone who embodies “last man standing,” by dragging his wife by the neck down a flight of stairs, i can see how bill would feel slighted. does he have to drag his wife down a flight of stairs by the throat in front of his children to get the point across?

    oh, wait…

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Sounds like some precious little snowflakes need their safe space…

  • Mumen Rider Justice CRASH!

    Am…am I a far left?

    • Swampgas_Man

      Look to your right, do you see anybody there? Now look to your left. If anyone’s there, you’re not Far Left.

      • Bad Tom

        But if nobody’s there on your left right now, then yes, yes you am a far left.

      • natoslug

        There’s some redwoods and the Pacific Ocean to my left, but no people at present. To my right is a tortured bonsai plant and “Introduction to Automata Theory, Languages, and Computation.” Still no people. Now I’m confused.

  • DainBramage

    We also would have been able to save both Firefly and Veronica Mars.

    And the amazingly goofy and wonderful Wonderfalls, despite that fact that I was probably the only person who watched it.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Andy Richter Rules the Universe, for me.

      Too, I would get all the channels I want in my cable package, like Boomerang and Turner Classic Movies, instead of drek like The Golf Channel and endless Teen Titans GO (Away, please!) marathons on Cartoon Network.

    • miss_grundy

      Ahem…..

  • BosGrl

    “… this crew that goes in and terrorizes sponsors …”

    Live by the free market, die by the free market. It’s OK when Hobby Lobby does a thing you like, but if a business decides it’s probably not in their best interest to be associated with a guy who does sexual harassment, then it’s terrorism.

    • Spurning Beer

      Terrorizing sponsors, sponsoring terrorists, same diff.

      • Three Finger Salute

        You can’t explain that.

  • Panika MCD

    Bill’O was sexually harassing women to protect his family? and now he’s in full attack mode and his family may be the victims of it? and beating his wife was not attacking? my far-right rage translator must be malfunctioning again. can someone help a sister out?

    • Not sure I understand everything there, except you can only be an asshole for so long before you wear out your welcome. Billy Boy was getting pretty threadbare.

  • I did really like Home Improvement – but mostly because Patricia Richardson was so good at putting him in his place that the manly men stuff seemed to come off more as satire than actual views. I’ve heard nothing good about Last Man Standing and had no desire to watch it. I guess it was cancelled in part because the only relevant advertisers could get their commercials on Fox News and Bullshit for less money.

    • Duchess Gummybuns

      I did occasionally watch it to see her, just like I watched “Frasier” to see David Hyde Pierce. Sometimes we all watch shows we wouldn’t normally watch for love of a certain character or actor.

      • Bad Tom

        How was it? OK? Or did it suck?
        ——-
        People who never knew they were in the Cabal want to know.

        • posereddie

          Filled w/ idiot characters. I hate watching people play over-the -top stupid imbeciles. I guess they inhabit the planet, but not in my world.

  • AustenFuego

    The thing that shocked me most in this story was finding out that a) there was a show called “Last Man Standing,” and b) that it had been on for SIX seasons.

    I suspect I was confusing it with “Last Comic Standing” this whole time and not realizing it.

  • WiscoJoe

    Last Man on Earth was finally officially renewed for a fourth season, which is all that matters. Best show on network TV. (And season 3 featured the best Trump admin joke I’ve seen so far.)

    • Nancy Duggan

      Are you referring to Kristen Wiig’s character watching the funerals? Because hahahahahahahahahahaha!

      • WiscoJoe

        [Spoiler Alert]

        YES!!!!! I was cry-laughing as they went down the line of succession starting with President Pence. That show is laugh-out-loud hilarious. Hopefully we see more of Kristen Wiig in season 4 (though in typical LMoE fashion, she’ll probably die a horrible death after 3 episodes… or 3 minutes).

  • They Took My Show Away!
    https://youtu.be/tfW247_xpJI

  • Ducksworthy

    Why did Faux cancel Firefly? Paranoia about space cowboys?

    • Boscoe

      Civil War in space, but the wrong side won? Interracial marriage?

  • Jennifer R

    Amazing how many conservatives love known, unrepentant drug traffickers.

    • Jennaratrix

      Only the white ones.

  • katkelly57

    Next time Shutup Sean shows up at his podium…have that Tool Time logo superimposed on it….that is, if he ever shows up again from da bushes.

    Do the same when Huckabilly shows up too.

  • Jennaratrix

    Let me be very clear here — I am pretty sure that at least 70% of liberals in this country had no damned idea that “Last Man Standing” was even a thing.

    Go ahead and count me in that number; this was the first I’ve heard of it. It’s also the first I’ve heard that I’m part of a power-wielding cabal that axes not-liberal shows. I do NOT promise to use my power for good and not evil.

    • Boscoe

      Depends on how you define “good”. >:)

      • Bad Tom

        Good for me, but most definitely not good for thee.
        ——-
        Yes, yes, I think that’s it.

    • EddieFrancis

      Same here.

      If I had of been, Freaks and Geeks would have got another season.

    • Lefty Wright

      Hell, I didn’t even know Tim Allen was still alive.

  • Duchess Gummybuns

    Meh, Tim Allen isn’t funny to me. His only comedic skill is growling several times in succession.

    That being said, Roger Stone has a special that just popped up on my Netflix. Shall we cry conspiracy like those idiots that had kittens over the show “Dear White People”?

    Not me! I just flipped it back to MST3K like a sane person.

    • Portia McGonagal

      Never thought Home Improvement was funny and this one I tried to watch once and meh. Plus IIRC it has a laugh track and if you need a laugh track to make it funny you’re doomed.

      Pretty much the only thing I liked Tim Allen in was “The Santa Clause” and sequel (the third one was one too many).

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Have you seen Avalanche on MST3K: The Return? featuring Rock Hudson, it was the most hilarious.

  • Tj McGee Wright

    Yay for snowflakes! So pretty and pure!
    If we only we could be cool with all the underprivilidged rich white guys getting held to account. Comeon America, that’s just not fun.

  • Bad Tom

    I confess!

    I am part of the shadowy liberal conspiracy against Last Man Standing, even though I did not know it was a television show with six seasons under its belt, nor that it had been canceled under my baleful influence, until the moment I read this Wonkette post.

    It’s cool what you can accomplish without even knowing that you are trying!
    ——-
    I’m still waiting for my SorosBux™ check. If we can do all this, why can’t we do that?

  • Swampgas_Man

    There’s a reason Tim Allen’s shows don’t show on Nick @Nite or TVLand or METV– nobody remembers a damned thing about them. Hell, I can watch re-runs of Leave It To Beaver and even Dennis The Menace on the higher cable channels, but not — uh, whatever Tim Allen’s last show was. Before this one, I mean. Tool Time, or something like that?

    • Bad Tom

      I liked him in Galaxy Quest.

  • PersianOregano

    Well this liberal didn’t even know Tim Allen had a show to cancel. As an elitist I am obligated to watch only PBS where shows like Call the Midwife and Doc Martin glorify that commie socialized healthcare.

    • SnarkON

      And what about Downton Abbey? If we are so powerful why’d they kill off Matthew?

      • PersianOregano

        I know right! And better pre-natal monitoring from Planned Parenthood certainly could have saved Sybil

    • idiotboy

      Nope, I never heard of it till a month ago. Must be on after 7:30, that is when my parents make me go to bed.
      They do not know that I sneak into the corner and watch “Get Smart” and “Laugh In”.

      • Bad Tom

        But, see, those are good shows.
        Don’t tell your parents.

    • zerosumgame0005

      Martin Clunes was great in Doc Martin! I would love to visit Portwenn someday! oh and Stephen Fry in Kingdom also too (seriously Ireland? fucking blasphemy? grow the fuck up!)

    • Opalescent Riddles

      I knew Allen had a show. I just didn’t watch it. The same would be true of any number of other shows, as I only regularly watch 3 or 4. Therefore I don’t know enough about it to personally say whether it was funny or good or not. That it held on for 7 seasons is some indication that some people liked it, anyway.

      Some shows I’ve liked had a good run, others were cancelled sooner than I’d have expected; some shows I thought were stupid were cancelled after a short run, others ran longer than I’d have expected. It’s just capitalism: if a show brings in less than it costs to make plus a desired margin, then it gets pulled from the market. The same is true of any other product, like a car or a variety of breakfast cereal.

      Take note free-market lovers: the unregulated market is under no obligation to forever provide you with product that is of good quality and that YOU personally like or can even afford. All that matters is that it makes its producers a profit. Consider that fact seriously as it applies to healthcare and education.

  • SnarkON

    Last Man what now? Literally have never heard of it.

    • SeeTrain65

      I imagine it was like Last Comic Standing but not funny.

  • chascates

    Wait, can’t Billo and Crybaby host Tim Allen, Sarah Palin, that fucking Scott Baio asshole on TheBlaze TV? If these shows are so great they’d make a fortune.

    • SnarkON

      Can Victoria Jackson and Dennis Miller be on?

      • chascates

        Sure, as well as Stephen Baldwin, Ben Stein, and the other 5 or 6 talentless wingnuts who despise reality and progress.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Damn right. We’re avenging you bastards for Air America.

  • TundraGrifter

    Robyn: Hotter than bus station chili.

  • Portia McGonagal

    These guys all speak the same dialect of bullshit. “We’ve got double secret probation stuff we can’t talk about yet, but it will bring everything to a screeching halt blah blah blah”. Of course it’s always crickets.

    And Scandal wasn’t really cancelled so much as it’s a planned series ending. Shonda Rhimes has always said it would be 7 seasons.

  • TundraGrifter

    “There’s going to be an exposition soon…”

    “Well, I’ve been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard…”

    ~ Maj. T.J. “King” Kong – “Dr Strangelove”

    • natoslug

      I’m hoping there will also be a soliloquy, a monologue, and maybe a bake sale.

      • Bad Tom

        Will there be cakes? The ones that we like?

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          They will certainly NOT be the cakes we like. Urinal cakes, maybe.

    • Mystery_Poster

      So, he’s exposing himself, too?

  • TundraGrifter

    “I did what I thought I had to do to protect my family. But those days are over.” ~ Bull O’Really?

    “Well. That’s all we need to know about that.” ~ Forest Gump

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    Oh Bill, Bill, Bill….how par for the fucking course. Why is it that the “party of personal responsibility” folks are never willing to take any responsibility for their own actions? If you’re gonna talk the talk, you’d goddamn better be willing to walk the walk.

    • Stulexington

      But talk is all he can do … that and attack people.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    We also would have been able to save both Firefly and Veronica Mars.

    And Sarah Connor Chronicles. Literally too well done for ADHD-TV, according to a few post-mortems I’ve read. Never will understand Firefly. Makes me think some fine day there will be a Nielsen scandal of comet-impact proportions…

  • Aileen

    Confirmed. I had no idea Tim Allen has had a show since Home Improvement, and the only reason I knew about that show was because one of my sorority sisters had a really inappropriate crush on Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

    Also, fuck Bill O’Reilly. Fuck him and his, “I haven’t spoken out because I want to protect my family (you know, the people I domestically abuse).”

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I’m with you. I watched one episode of “Home Improvement” and thought it was repulsive. I did not know he had a new show because I gave up watching network TV 15 years ago, and gave up on cable 4 years ago. Someone told me about “Breaking Bad” a few weeks ago, and the main plot line – a teacher diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer who turns to manufacturing and selling methamphetamine in order to make money for his family – was so revolting I couldn’t believe anyone watched it, but it is very popular. And the people I know who like it are mild-mannered law-obeying Christians who don’t even drink, let alone use illegal drugs, yet they like this show??????? I just don’t get it. Why didn’t the teacher buy life insurance when he got married, like a rational person does?

      • Aileen

        I actually really liked Breaking Bad. So well-acted. But yes, the premise is incredibly dark. They didn’t spend too much time justifying his turn to a life of crime, but considering he was a public high school teacher, I think it is believable he skipped getting life insurance. Plus, he used the money from making and selling meth for his cancer treatment, so I think he might have been hoping to beat it. And yes, I knew a lot of mild-mannered Christian types who loved it, I think because they all secretly fantasize about “breaking bad” themselves. The one thing that really bugged me was how much fans hated his wife’s character, because she did her best to interfere with his criminal deeds.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Well, I really don’t understand this at all. People should get some fucking life insurance as soon as they start a family, and start a GoFundMe campaign if they get cancer, they shouldn’t sell meth, which kills people. That’s like offering a pill to a cancer patient and saying “Here, take this pill and your cancer MIGHT be cured, but 10,000 strangers will die instantly whether the cancer is cured or not.”

          Life insurance is cheap and a better choice, and the magic pill is no guarantee you won’t be hit by a bus next week and die anyway. Either a person has morals and ethics, or they don’t. The fact that this program is so popular tells me that most people don’t have either, which goes a long way towards explaining why so many Germans not only tolerated the Holocaust, but also helped it along. I think the idea behind this show is repellent on every possible level.

          I say Brava! to the wife. She should turn him in and divorce his ass, and then send flowers to his funeral.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    oh god who cares

    • SayItWithWookies

      See, that’s exactly the kind of attitude that’s keeping Victoria Jackson from getting her own major network comedy/variety show.

    • FlownΩver

      That was the one right after George Burns died, I’m guessing.

  • natoslug

    I admit it — it was me. I personally made them cancel “Last Man Standing.” And not just because Tim Allen is suffering from a humor deficit, but because I did not like his stance on Trump, which I was totally aware of before this post hit the interwebz.

    • SeeTrain65

      Thank you for your service.

  • chascates

    I don’t watch network teevee but here’s a list of cancelled shows. How many are fantastic, conservative values works-of-art?
    https://www.vox.com/culture/2017/5/11/15599492/cancelled-tv-shows-2017-renewed-canceled

    APB (Fox)
    American Crime (ABC)
    American Gothic (CBS)
    Aquarius (NBC)
    The Blacklist: Redemption (NBC)
    Bones (Fox)
    BrainDead (CBS)
    The Catch (ABC)
    Conviction (ABC)
    Doubt (CBS)
    Dr. Ken (ABC)
    Emerald City (NBC)
    Frequency (The CW)
    Grimm (NBC)
    Imaginary Mary (ABC)
    Last Man Standing (ABC)
    Making History (Fox)
    Mistresses (ABC)
    No Tomorrow (The CW)
    Notorious (ABC)
    The Odd Couple (CBS)
    Pitch (Fox)
    Powerless (NBC)
    Pure Genius (CBS)
    The Real O’Neals (ABC)
    Reign (The CW)
    Rosewood (Fox)
    Secrets and Lies (ABC)
    Sleepy Hollow (Fox)
    Son of Zorn (Fox)
    Time After Time (ABC)
    Timeless (NBC)
    Training Day (CBS)

    The Vampire Diaries (The CW)

    • Terri S

      I’ve never seen any of them. Guess it was my fault

      • Wee Mousie

        Better give me half of the blame. Was “Last Man Standing” anything like the Bruce Willis movie? Or was Pure Genius anything like Val Kilmer’s “Real Genius?”

    • SeeTrain65

      “Come on, Blue Bloods! Come on, Blue Bloods! … Shit.”

      (Full disclosure: One of the only people I like from that show is Cady Huffman.)

      OH, GOD! NOT DR. KEN!

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Reign was so awful that after 15 minutes I found myself shouting “Off With Her Head!” at the TV. I never watched it again.

  • Scooby

    I’m pretty sure the also got Joni loves Chachi cancelled.

  • Scooby

    Hey can we use this power to get Guy Feiri off the air?

    • SeeTrain65

      “Last Exit to Flavortown.”

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    SHE TURNED ME INTO A NEWT
    and then SOME GUY WAS CRUSHING MY HEAD!

    THE LIBTARDS GOT ME!!!1 THEY ARE EVERWHARRRRrrrrr

    • zerosumgame0005

      many up-fists for the Kids in the Hall reference :)

      • SeeTrain65

        KITH/Monty Python Fusion. Great stuff.

  • zerosumgame0005

    the only reason I ever knew about this show was it comes on after another one I record and catch a minute or so after it ends. it was just unwatchable. just a bunch of stereotypes and straw men for Tim to “knock down”. it just seems so forced and dumb,so I just stop as soon as the show I DVR’ed ends.

  • CripesAmighty

    Tim Allen had another show? Well spank my ass and call me Charlie!

  • SKruetheratbassedarDs

    Wow, does he mean that Vast Left Wing Conspiracy that has no dedicated news network, no nationwide syndicated radio network, no access to the armed forces networks, but a mythical being named Soros whose every skin tag magically morphs into c-notes for gay-moose-limbs? That conspiracy? Thanks, that’s what I figured.

    • Tokays_don’t_blink

      No, you see, that’s how you can tell it’s really a conspiracy: nobody involved knows about it!

      And now my brain hurts.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I’m surprised the far-right wingnuts have not yet suggested that all us liberals involved in the alleged conspiracy have been subjected to post-hypnotic suggestions just so we won’t remember any details. Then Soros won’t actually have to pay us, because we won’t remember being offered money, which explains why none of us have made any suspicious deposits lately. Give it time. . .

        • Tokays_don’t_blink

          Heh. Sounds about right.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • miss_grundy

    The show’s ratings weren’t that great and the show was on for four seasons. It isn’t as if it was cancelled in its freshman season. And frankly, he isn’t that funny and that whole stupid man-child act is wearing thin on someone as old as he is.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    What is funny? Bill O’Reilly bragged to several people about his FOX-empowered thugs who could go about destroying anybody who crossed him.

    I think he first threatened Al Franken when he called him splotchy. I thought I remember reading something about that in the Mackris complaint, too.

    Weird! Supposedly The Left actually has their own, real, functioning set of thugs who are able to shut down all these Conserva-loons, but nobody brags about it?

    Not a single Soros-paid protester has said “look out Steev Doochey, or we GET YOU AND YOUR DUMB FACIAL EXPRESSIONS NEXT!”

    Yet Billo was telling folks he had enforcers, and gosh, only got into real trouble … recently. Almost like someone who had real enforcers actively shutting people down.

    WEIRD COINCIDENCE!

    • Stulexington

      I guess we’re just better at keeping secrets than the right wingnuts … weird huh, and super awesome at keeping everyone we’ve intimidated cowed into silence. Every last one not one peep.

      Of course we were also smart enough not to confront and try to intimidate ol’ Billo directly, after all we’re smart enough to know he’d never cave so why bother trying the direct approach, just do the way more complicated shadowy cabal shtick.

    • HooverVilles

      It’s all about projectioning their behavior onto others.

  • Stulexington

    I love the sound of manchild butthurt in the morning. Well not the sound, it’s actually quite grating, but reading about it is quite relaxing.

    • Wee Mousie

      It would be of considerable value if the amount of butthurt could be quantified on something like the Richter scale for those of us who like to take our Schadenfreude intellectually.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I suspect that quantifying it would require getting too close to the butthurtee, and nobody would volunteer to do this.

        • Wee Mousie

          Nobody volunteers to sit on a volcano that is threatening to go off, either.

          Using explosive-projectile technology, just sink a couple of probes into those butts one is most interested in seeing get hurt, and then monitor remotely.

    • HooverVilles

      There must be a way to monetize that.

      • Stulexington

        *points at the conservative talk radio/crying manbaby and their enablers industry.*

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    “Are we one of the baddies, Robyn?? I mean… we’ve got ponies on our websites.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hn1VxaMEjRU

    • sherman

      Yes, we could use our powers to bring back the British comedies on BBCA.

      • SeeTrain65
      • Angela Ruzzo

        I want “Mystery” back on Thursday nights on PBS. MILLIONS of people protested when they took it off Thursday nights, but did PBS care? Nope. Merging it with “Masterpiece” came very close to ruining my life. Some cabal, can’t even get Mystery back on Thursday nights (sob!). What do I get on Thursday nights now? “Show-Me Missouri Agriculture” or highlights of the Central Missouri University Mules And Jennies sports teams. Gaaaaah!

        And I’d like to see “East Enders” back. Also Doctor Who.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Myself, I wish they’d release the classic kids shows to DVD and/or give them a permanent spot on Netflix. I remember Wishbone and The Puzzle Place fondly and wish I could see them again without having to resort to a low-quality bootleg on YouTube.

        • Th’ottest curry in th’ouse

          I don’t remember that. All I remember is 23 hour John Titmarsh garden shows and an hour of news. Hulu & Netflix are a much better source of britcom than BBCA ever was.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Yes, they are a very good source, which is one reason why I gave up cable. But I had an established Brit Fix on Thursday nights for 28 years (long before Netflix and Hulu), which broke up the work week nicely back in the pre-Internet days, and gave me something to look forward to so I could get through the week. I’m over it now that I’m retired and have high-speed internet, but I still harbor a tiny grudge.

  • JDM

    I’d be watching new episodes of Wonderfalls and Pushing Daisies and poor Lee Pace would be run off his feet appearing in both shows at once (a feat outdone by one of those Canadians, Gabrielle Miller, who was on 3 sitcoms simultaneously).

  • SerialParkingViolator

    Wait, wut? Firefly could have been saved? Dammit, who the hell was asleep at the wheel on that one?

    • Lambsendbeds

      *weeps*

  • But those days are over. From now on when I’m attacked, I’m going to take action.

    He has other jobs he can be fired from?

    • Angela Ruzzo

      He has an $85 million dollar net worth. He doesn’t need to work. But I bet he’ll write another stupid book so he can be “attacked” and then “take action.”

      • HooverVilles

        His new book should be titled, killing the career of Billo Oh’Really.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I thought he could sell a lot of copies if he called it “Zipped!” as in “Keep your pants zipped!”.

      • A few lawsuits from the girls he molest at the neighborhood bus stop should take care of most of that.

  • Kay Jay Day

    Nooooooooooooooo! Ok Rapey O’Reilly can have his show back if we get more seasons of SCANDAL.

    • Wee Mousie

      But from now on he can only threaten Daleks, and only rape Muppets.

      • Lambsendbeds

        EXTERMINATE!!!! EXTERMINATE!!!!

    • phoenix00

      You and I both know that’s not a good trade.

  • Maybe they should stop asking us for media handouts, huh? Go start their own network where every lady signs an agreement consenting to late-night phone sex with Bill O’Reilly and no one can ever cancel one of Tim Allen’s shows!

    I thought that was the whole point behind the formation of Fox News in the first place.

  • Jgb979

    FFS the canceled the real o’Neal’s (aka the show about the gay kid )

    It’s almost like the “liberalscontrol everything” narrative falls apart with even the tiniest bit of scrutiny

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Scrutiny? Conservatives don’t need no damn scrutiny.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    ABC is owned by Disney. Last Man Standing was cancelled for one reason, and one reason only: It wasn’t making Disney enough money. That is the only thing that motivates the Mouse.

    • BMW

      I wouldn’t be surprised if the Fox broadcast network doesn’t pick it up, although it doesn’t necessarily fit in with their target demographic.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Yes, Disney just made ESPN ax a hundred employees, many of them long-time on-air talent. Why? Money.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    Where is the claim that Obama did it? Must be fake news.

  • BMW
  • FDRliberal

    As a member of the “far left cabal”, I’m proud to have had a hand in getting a show I never heard of, i.e., Last Man Standing, cancelled. Let me know if there are any other shows that I know nothing about, that I can magically force the network to cancel. So long as these shows are favorites of idiots like Glen Beck, then I’m game.

    • Mister Atoz

      I loved Tool Time so I gave that show a watch. He spent a large part of the show whining about President Obama so I never watched it again.

      • FDRliberal

        I didn’t know Tim Allen was a wingnut. I recall he was once convicted on a drug offence prior to his becoming a TV star. You’d think he’d prefer a Holder over a Sessions, but the atrophied wingnut mind is not governed by logic.

        • Mister Atoz

          I think the problem with Last Man Standing, at least from what I saw, was that it was too blatantly political. Conservatives whine about Hollywood being too “liberal” on the basis of its values (like not demonizing gay people), but I haven’t seen anything like LMS where the star spends his time whining about President Obama.

          I guess we can add Tim Allen to the long list of “alpha men” who whine and cry about being disagreed with.

          • JohnDough610

            It was canceled because it had good ratings… for a show on Friday. ABC decided to move away from comedy on Friday’s and it lacked the success to be on another night.

  • C4TWOMAN


    Apparently, someone from “the far left” figured out time travel

    As if. First order of business: Kill Hitler before he rises to power.

    • Wee Mousie

      After WWI there was this batshit crazy story going around about how delusional Germans believed that they had been winning the war, but the generals decided to surrender because a few civilian Jewish bankers wanted them to.capitulate.

      It seems that mankind has a built-in delusion button to hit any time they need to say “I lost.” or “I fucked up!”

    • Angela Ruzzo

      But there’s a problem with that. Take me for example. . . I can’t go back in time and kill Hitler, because then my parents would never have met and gotten married and I would never have been born and I wouldn’t exist in 2017 to go back in time and kill Hitler. . . it’s called the Grandfather Paradox.

      • C4TWOMAN

        One of the major problems encountered in time travel is
        not that of becoming your own father or mother. There is
        no problem in becoming your own father or mother that a
        broad-minded and well-adjusted family can’t cope with.
        There is no problem with changing the course of
        history—the course of history does not change
        because it all fits together like a jigsaw. All the
        important changes have happened before the things they
        were supposed to change and it all sorts itself out in
        the end.
        -Douglas Adams

        TL;Dr
        Keep Calm and Kill Hitler

        • HooverVilles

          Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
          -Douglas Adams

        • HooverVilles

          And This,
          Isn’t it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?
          -Douglas Adams

      • Tiny kaiju

        I’d be happy if I could go back just far enough so my mother married the nice Chinese med student she met in Nursing school instead of my father.
        Sure I probably wouldn’t exist, but I at least my mom might have enjoyed being married little more.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Sounds intriguing. All I want is to go back to when I was 21 and just got out of college, but I want to know then what I know now.

  • O_Hellllllllp

    The fact that people think liberals are organized into some type of conspiracy is why I call bullshit on the whole “middle America knows you, why don’t you try to know us for once?” No. You clearly don’t know “us” because then you’d know there is no “us”. We don’t give a shit about what you watch on TV, until it fucks up elections. We would all be much happier if we could all go back to not giving a shit. You don’t want me to care, and neither do I.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I keep thinking of that line from Hamlet, which I will paraphrase as “Methinks the man doth protest too much.”

  • Tokays_don’t_blink

    Someone is smarting from the Free Hand of the Market, no?

    • HooverVilles

      Ah yes. Yes he is. Trouble is, he is so willingly blind he can’t see that.

      PS: if you have not yet seen Tom Tomorrows cartoons dedicated to “The Invisible Hand of the Free Market”, do so. They are funny and on target.

      • phoenix00

        “Free Hand Of The Market” is only good when they benefit. Otherwise it needs to be made illegal or taxed out of existence.

      • Tokays_don’t_blink

        I’ll have to check that out!

  • THEY CANCELED SCANDAL?!?!

    Also, I have watched Last Man Standing. It is a total snooze. It’s got all the obnoxiousness of Home Improvement, but with worse writing, worse acting, and less funny. It’s a miracle it wasn’t cancelled in its first season.

  • Wee Mousie

    Tucker Carlson replacing BillO demonstrates how seriously Fox does not wish to lose more millions in workplace sexual harassment lawsuits, ever again. It is not only unlikely that Carlson will ever harass anyone, let alone sexually. First, and most obviously because Tucker Carlson is a snirp and a dweeb, but mostly because Fox knows Tucker’s cajones were cancelled back in prep school.

  • Nephilim

    Fox News Corporation executives fired Bill O’Reilly because of multiple accusations of sexual harassment. Fox News doesn’t seem to care much about liberal opinions so why now?

    • Stulexington

      Because as long as Billo cries and wails about the big mean Liberal machine people will keep watching and eating it up. This only ends when the slackjawed moron patrol stops buying this shit so never.

    • empf

      I love how liberals are so powerful all of a sudden.

  • ginos_way

    Okay, so I caught a couple of episodes of Last Man Standing awhile back. Before that, I figured ABC’s worst sit-com of all time was something called According to Jim. How did Allen’s piece of crap stay on that long? Makes According to Jim look like A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

    • empf

      It was poor man’s Home Improvement.

  • Truthiness2U

    Oh and I forgot to say…Veronica Mars!! Well the first two seasons, at least. And the first season is one of the best seasons of TV I’ve seen.

    Good reminder to watch it again.

  • Greg Comlish

    As if the Jews would ever let the liberals control the media …

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “Let me be very clear here — I am pretty sure that at least 70% of liberals in this country had no damned idea that “Last Man Standing” was even a thing.”

    I was vaguely aware of it, but I thought it was a game show. Also, I love that women who is whining and bitching about her favorite TV show going off the air while calling other people “snowflakes.” Bitch, please.

  • Anita Ledford

    Olbermann has a show and o’liely doesn’t! HA HA HA HA HA!

  • Dazza

    Robyn is right. Tim Allen had a show called “Last Man Standing”? I – and the other members of my left wing cabal had no idea. I guess attending all those Soros meetings has really cut into my TV watching time.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I had no clue he had a show. I figured he just went back to selling coke after his first show got cancelled.

      • Dazza

        Same.

  • SeeTrain65

    Star Trek got three seasons. WKRP got four.

    On just two series, Tim Allen received 15 years worth of paychecks, seven for this pile of garbage and eight for “Home Improvement.” All for grunting like an ape. Now THAT’S comedy.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      And “Three’s Company” got eight, which says something about several things I don’t have space here to write about.

      • TheBoatDude

        Yeah, Suzanne Sommers was the reason…

    • TheBoatDude

      WKRP was classic. It’s a bitch that the DVD release has all the music cut out, so each episode is 12 minutes long…

      • SeeTrain65

        I read somewhere they remastered the episodes “with most of the original music,” which I took to mean increased the episode length to 12 minutes and 15 seconds.

      • Chris

        Several years ago Johnny Fever and Jennifer were on a panel at Dragoncon. No, I have no idea how they figured into the whole Dragoncon thing. Usually it is easier to go with it. Neither looked any different and it was the oddest thing about them being at a Science Fiction Convention.

  • SeeTrain65

    BTW, Conservatives, wanna do something useful?

    TELL DISCOVERY TO STOP FUCKING AROUND AND KEEP EDD CHINA ON WHEELER DEALERS. YOU’RE WELCOME.

  • pixeloid

    Saw the first season of Last Man Standing and thought is was funny, but then in season 2 they took a hard right turn and started pushing politics and religion. UGH! Dropped that shit in a hurry. Seems I wasn’t the only one as the ratings dropped as well.

    • Carole

      I’ve seen exactly one episode (the one with Reba Macintyre). It didn’t proselytize, but neither did it bowl me over with peels of hysterical laughter. I’m just glad Reba didn’t try to sing.

  • Tania

    I didn’t mind the show as the support cast were as interesting as the lead. I wouldn’t be surprised if Allen priced himself out of a job. Catch a few episodes if you can as its an amusing distraction. Then again I’m really excited about Twin Peaks coming back.

  • mailman27

    Gee, I never looked at it like that. So, did conservatives get Arrested Development canceled? They must have, cuz I’m a liberal and I really liked that show! Conspiracy theories are fun, and easy too!

    • phoenix00

      West Wing? Their fault.
      Breaking Bad? Their fault.
      Star Trek? Their fault.

      • God Emperor Emeritus

        O’Rielly cancelled Firefly.

        • phoenix00

          Damn it!

          Alex Jones had something to do with Stargate: Atlantis. I’m sure of it!

          • Chris

            Since someone mentioned ole Alex…Have his numbers fallen since his custody hearing? You would think that having been told while he was under oath that what he did was ‘satire’ and not real he might lose some of his true believers.

          • Mike Rhodes

            I’m sure the very next day he opened his show by saying he was lying to the “libral so-called judge” and that now he’s going to be even wingier and nuttier than ever.

          • phoenix00

            Since I try not to pay any more attention to Jones than necessary, nor make any calls to the right wing nutcase-verse, I believe this calls for a Wonkvestigation.

          • Chris

            Have to confess that until the last election I was blithely unaware of him. I was better for it.

      • Carole

        Star Trek? You mean those outer space Communists?

        • phoenix00

          Is there any other kind?

  • FlownΩver

    Oh yeah? What about Teh Wonket silencing us by not allowing comments? Huh?

    • TundraGrifter

      Many people don’t know that!

      • HooverVilles

        Shhhhh! Don’t tell.

        • John Norris

          Remember, you read it here first.

  • Outzie

    Never forget — Tim Allen is a convicted drug dealer.

    • Grokenstein

      FAKE NEWS! WHAT ABOUT OBAMA? BENGHAZI!!

  • empf

    Well, “The Middle” is still on and I’m pretty sure Patricia Heaton is a conservative. The difference is that it’s a much better show than Last Man Standing. So there’s that.

    • Jukesgrrl

      I’ve never seen either one of those programs but I read the eulogy Patricia Heaton wrote for Breitbart when his venom finally killed him, so I certainly would never watch any show she’s on.

      • Did not know she did that, but the Middle is adorbs.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    I’ve never heard of “Last Man Standing”, so I guess it must have been really successful. I have been aware that Bill’O harasses women for a decade or so, though, so I’m not entirely out of the loop.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Same here. And I’d love to hear someone ask O’Reilly’s daughter if he failed to fight those lawsuits all because it was best for her.

  • Jo Mathie

    I will never get over how Republicans keep calling Democrats/Liberals “snowflakes”. They are the whiniest people ever – literally everything from non-existent “attacks on Christmas” to having their crappy TV show cancelled is “wahhhh oppression”.

  • Jukesgrrl

    Never forget that Tim Allen (real last name “Dick,” look it up) was arrested at an airport for possession of over 650 grams (1.4 lb) of cocaine. He pleaded guilty to trafficking, and provided the names of other dealers in exchange for a sentence of 3 to 7, instead of life in prison. Now tell me how many African-American men would even live through their time in jail after ratting out their bosses, let alone later be cast in multiple FAMILY SITCOMS that stayed on the air for years, not just a couple of minutes. Talk about white privilege.

  • BPMM

    Billy O has the same mindset as Trump. There’s a big media conspiracy against him and he has the proof and will release it…..it will be a big, big story that won’t be reported by the liberal media. WTF? Both these guys are mentally insane. They will make these statements and nothing ever comes of it. I guess that’s because the liberal media won’t report it so we won’t be aware of it….but the deplorables will believe that the proof of the conspiracy was delivered.

  • Carole

    If I were Tim Allen, I’d sue Glenn beck for even mentioning my name in the same breath with Bill O’Reilly. I don’t know what the statute of limitations for spousal battery is, but O’Reilly dodged a 9 mm bullet on that..

  • middleclassman1

    Maybe it was the Illuminati lol

  • Tiny kaiju

    Tim Allen had a TV show that last six seasons? I did not know this, nor do I care now that I do know this. Besides, if ABC wanted to keep shows that involved fighting Nazis and Hydra, they’d have kept Agent Carter.

    • Myrddnn

      I’m still mad about that…. :-/

  • William
  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Bill O’Reilly …what a whiney crybaby loser. Go change your diapers, wife beater. Sad!

  • Zyxomma

    I never even heard of Last Man Standing till it was canceled.

    • I saw it once or twice but had no idea it was “conservative” until this fiasco.
      It wasn’t very funny. Buncha sexist jokes (against men even! As in men were basically cave men who were confused by this modern world!) and good ol dad ALWAYS had to bail out his silly girls. Bout it really. Only watched a couple cause I liked home improvement and figured Tim was gittin back to his roots

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      I’m not sure I knew about it until this very article. Oh well, without “Person of Interest” I have gone back to reading. Expect to revive for GOT.

    • Chris

      Funny, that is how I learned about it. It was really on all those seasons?

    • H0mer0

      that’s usually how I learn about most trends.

    • Krissie

      Be glad you didn’t. I tried to watch a few episodes when it first aired, and I didn’t think that it was funny at all.

  • I am reminded of when the network attempted to can Quantum Leap. There was a write in campaign, I signed a bazillion petitions, and they brought it back and then did the stupid fucking evil leaper story line.
    Moral of the story: Sometimes you need to let go of things gracefully.

    • kareemachan

      I LOVED Quantum Leap. And HATED the way it ended…

  • Crystalclear12

    Tim Allen had a show!?

  • John Norris

    I remember the RWNJs going crazy when Sec Clinton called the harassment of her and Pres Clinton a ‘vast right wing conspiracy’. But Billo the Clown is OK with ‘some left-wing cabal’.

  • Phil Wentworth

    We would definitely have conspired to keep “Freaks and Geeks” on too!

    • Chris

      And Firefly. At least 7 years of Firefly, Eureka and Warehouse 13. That would be a must.

  • Pickles

    can we use this power to get Adam Sandler to stop making movies

    • H0mer0

      [But Billy Madison gives us so many memes!]

    • MisterShoebox

      I would use this power to pluck 80’s Adam Sandler into the Future and go – “DUDE. THIS IS YOU IF YOU DO NOT GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. PIXELS WILL HAPPEN.”

  • Bitter Scribe

    The interesting thing here is that conservatives like Bill O’Reilly love to talk about “personal responsibility,” but won’t take any themselves…

    Of course not. Nothing bad that happens to them is ever their fault.

  • The Librarian

    I thought the Joos controlled the media? I demand that all networks play “Fiddler on the Roof” nonstop. That’ll teach ’em.

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    If we libruls ran the media, all networks would be running marathons of The West Wing always, forever, in perpetuity.

    • Chris

      With the occasional break for Big Bang Theory and Rachel Maddow at 9:00 pm.

  • Incoming Ham

    Bill O’Reilly either doesn’t know or is simply lying about how Hollywood works. Money.

    Possibly it’s a shitty show that rated poorly and isn’t worth spending any more money on.

  • Christopher Boscarino

    Bill, success rolls in, success rolls out, just like the tides. Obviously, God is causing it. She hates you.

  • Lisa Churinskas-Hulit

    Oh no!! They’re on to us!!!!

  • Oops, the wingnuts were in such a rush to scream “More Power” with Tim (But only if it’s “white” though) that they forgot (much like with Milo What’s-his-name) that it’s the Conservative backers themselves that pull the plug on instigators like Bill.

  • Kooolest G

    Highest rated cables news channel: fox. Most widely read newspaper: wall st journal. Most listened to radio show: NPR but a close second: rush Limbaugh. Tell me more about this “liberal media” again

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      Dont forgot about Air America.

    • H0mer0

      so THAT’S why they keep trying to take NPR down, even though just like Politico, it’s a conservative’s idea of what constitutes librul media.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    So, how does “Blue Bloods”, starring noted conservative mustache Tom Selleck, remain on the air?

    • H0mer0

      He got acceptable to us after being Monica’s boyfriend. Also other eye candy on that show

  • Chris

    Firefly and Frank’s Place didn’t get even close to the amount of time they deserved.

  • unionthuggery

    I have never heard of this last man standing show. Does Tim Allen grunt like an animal and have industrial accidents on it?

  • Kerryjlape

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !sf156c:
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  • Relativicus

    “Next on ‘Being a Has-Been Has Brought Me to THIS!’…”

  • Somecallmetim

    I’ve always said that if O’Reilly were oranger I wouldn’t be able to tell him and Trump apart. But, in fact, Trump isnt so orange anymore so I can’t tell them apart if their names aren’t listed at the bottom of the tv screen when they volunteer to show how paranoid and stupid they can be in an interview. And the way O’Reilly looks at Trump when he interviews (used to interview) him, you’d think they were secret, insestuous lovers.

  • Prolecat

    If they’re so butthurt over the cancellation of LMS, they can always petition one of the Christian networks, like TBN or Daystar, to pick it up. I’m sure one of them would be thrilled to be promoting a fine “family values” dude like Tim Allen.

  • Bongstar420

    Such snowflakes.

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