SHARE

Morning Wonketariat! HOOOO BOY, here’s where we are this morning!

Just let that sink in for a moment. Now here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • THAT’S RIGHT, ANOTHER FIONA VIDEO!

    You love it!

    • BadKitty904

      Yes. Yes, we do.

    • Crystalclear12

      I am starting to think of her as family.

      Well, except I like her.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Hey she resembles my side :)

    • dslindc

      Now we just need more of those cakes we like.

  • memzilla Ω

    FUN FACT: Trump has been in bed with the Russians longer than he has with any of his three wives.

    • Crystalclear12

      Which his wives are grateful for.

      • TundraGrifter

        And so is Russia.

  • Scooby

    Why, did Comey pee on the bed too?

    • Chris

      He’d have kept him if he had.

  • memzilla Ω
  • dslindc

    Can we get that giant meteor to just end it already?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Giant meteor is booked all the way through 3715.

    • Crystalclear12

      If you wanted the giant meteor then you should voted for it!!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    So you’re saying that you fired Comey to end the Russia pee-hookers-for-votes scandal investigation. Proceed….

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    Sarah Huckabee Sanders…Jesus wept. Surely only this administration could have pulled off the monumental feat of unearthing someone who could make Lyin’ Spice look forthcoming and honest.

  • FlemmishSpy

    The steampunks have gotten to Donnie!

  • Mary Sandoras
  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “Galaxy Quest” helps us understand Mika complaining about “politics porn”…
    https://youtu.be/JJ83r886Kyg?t=60

    • snark-lurker

      isn’t she a hoot?

  • memzilla Ω

    “President Trump threatened Friday morning to end White House press briefings, arguing that “it is not possible” for his staff to speak with “perfect accuracy” to the American public.

    Trump’s comments come after his description of his decision to fire FBI Director James B. Comey in an NBC News interview Thursday flatly contradicted the accounts provided earlier by White House officials, including Vice President Pence, exposing their explanations as misleading and in some cases false.”

  • arglebargle

    “Tapes” is in quotation marks so Trump is immune from prosecution on everything.

    Huckabee the Lesser

    • SweetDeeKat

      It was “in jest.” Actually, my first thought was that tapes can be subpoenaed. Deja vu, anyone?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      That whole “Huckabee the Lesser” thing is unclear, since IMO it’s impossible for anyone to be “lesser” than each individual one of them. But the daughter is a real piece of work, where work = shit.

    • aureolaborealis

      I heard on the internets that because Trump has publicly talked about these conversations, he has nullified his ability to claim privilege/confidentiality. No idea if true.

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    Spicer serving in the reserves has my respect. The words falling out his cockholster? Not so much. I hope he finds a nice place up north to retire amidst the shrubbery.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    DailyKos tells me there are about a half million elected officials in this country. I say we round up the Republicans and send them to ICE and see how many are Russian spies. Think of the money we’d save then!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      There are all those Walmarts in Texas we’re not using (Thanks, Obama!), right?

  • Chadwells
  • Lulu Mac

    Seriously wondering what the Russians have on Paul Ryan and other GOPers who were never really on the Trump train. I was sure we would see Impeachment proceedings by now so they could crown Pence and go about their merry way of fucking over the wimmens and poors old-school style without the incompetent orange distraction in the White House.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Dirty Russian money laundered through shell companies and campaign super pacs?

      • Pre-existing Ron

        Not a bad explanation for the depth of the GOPs pockets.

      • Maria Sewell

        That explains GOP luv of Putin over the last few years…

    • snark-lurker

      I bet the ruskies have been collecting dirtly laundry on congresscritters for a long time and now they control most of them

      • Claire

        God, do you suppose there’s a McConnell pee hooker tape too?

        • aureolaborealis

          “OK, honey. Hold still while I sexily upend my leg bag over you.”

    • Darlene Underdahl

      In the case of Ryan, it might be money, lots of money.

    • Dunno how reliable it is, but it *IS* on the internet, but there MAY be a RICO investigation into lots of the Rethugs for some money laundering stuff underway…

      (Note: I have NO idea how reliable this source is, but it did schaden my freud for a while).

      https://patribotics.blog/2017/05/11/sources-russia-probe-means-president-hatch-rico-case-against-gop/

  • Vincent Ricola
    • Chadwells

      I encourage him to keep at it!!! Keep smacking that hornets nest and see what happens!!!

      • Darlene Underdahl

        I’ve known narcissists, compulsive liars and sociopaths, but none were this crazy.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Don’t forget that he’s not just crazy, he’s also stupid all the way to the bone. This is a person who obviously has not read anything that didn’t have his name prominently featured in it since he left college.

          • Old Man Yells at Cloud

            And he never got past his name on those.

        • David Chaillou

          You’re talking about the 50 million Americans who still support Trump unconditionally?

        • Pre-existing Ron

          This is what you get when a narcissistic compulsively lying sociopath’s brain starts to decay.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Oklahoma state Rep. Mike Ritze thinks that he can save his state $900 million Ameros by rounding up 82,000 non-English speaking public school students and then “turn them over to ICE to see if they truly are citizens.”

    One’s man’s Mkay is another man’s ¿Qué?

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I wish he would go to the FBI. Though I suspect even if he doesn’t, the FBI will eventually come to him.

    • They’re known to make house calls.

      • Pre-existing Ron

        Think Donnie’d have the cojones to make the Secret Service keep them out?

    • Darlene Underdahl

      Long memories. They’ll get him.

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Another week of unhindered Russo-Republican attacks on America. But at least it’s
    FRIDAY!!1!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuYF-EnpLpc

  • Nounverb911
    • Crystalclear12

      Eww, I bet it’s cold.

  • Chadwells

    HAHAHA!!! That Dickface tweet threatening Comey has already been reported on my local news….

  • schmannity

    Now that Trump has abandoned the Rosenstein Ruse, I wonder if Rosenstein is less favorably inclined to Comrade Trump for using him like a Russian pee hooker.

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    Why upgrade the IT infrastructure? Just send all the passwords to Vlad.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Trump’s been holding auditions while Sean Spicer has been away serving in his Naval Reserve regiment, leaving the Shuckster to spin out of control at the podium in the Brady room.

    According to Huckabee Sanders, James Comey committed “atrocities.” How in holy f*ck did this person obtain a position in a communications role? Do words mean nothing to her? I mean, Pol Pot committed atrocities. The Hutus of Rwanda committed atrocities. Ratko Mladić and Slobodan Milosević committed atrocities.

    But James Comey?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      He didn’t pledge his life and his sacred honor to King Donald I – that, to them, is an atrocity.

    • Crystalclear12

      Well, that one thing he did got Trump elected. But I don’t think she was worried about that.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      She really seems dense. Like, granite all the way through the top story.

  • Chadwells

    Any bets on Dampnut running away to New Jersey any minute now?

    • snark-lurker

      you mean he didn’t leave last night?

    • geoffalnutt

      I’m thinking Russia. We have no extradition rights there. I think they’ll all begin to peel off…and mysteriously end up in Russia.

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
    • Crystalclear12

      Waste of Putin’s money.

      • Pre-existing Ron

        He can afford it.

  • Mary Sandoras

    Okay Alex, the deep state will take care of it.
    https://twitter.com/RealAlexJones/status/863002928562491393

  • schmannity

    Executive Order to investigate non-existent 3 million vote voter fraud?

    Yes.

    Money to investigate collusion with a foreign power bigger than anything since the American Revolution?

    Waste of taxpayer money.

  • Mary Sandoras
  • La forza del resistino

    Trump say we can’t have a showboating grandstander in public office. Then every mirror on a WH wall crashes to the floor in pieces.

    • Pre-existing Ron

      When he said that my spare irony meter blew out. And it wasn’t even turned on at the time.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I have an autoship order on irony meters. It’s costing me a fortune to keep up with this regime.

    • TakingAmes

      It’s just that we can’t have ANOTHER showboating grandstander in public office. One is more than enough, thanks.

  • Chadwells

    I’m curious…when all the top legal minds and scholars across the country say loudly that what Dickface has done amounts to obstruction of justice…why does no one start the process? Are all our legal scholars dumb and wrong? It’s just strange to me.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      If all the Jews had just rushed Hitler at once…

      • Chadwells

        Oh. Damn it. Still…2 very different situations. Not sure that’s a proper analogy for what I meant. The lawyers going to Impeach fuckface are not facing a military in war position.

        • From Russia with Love

          Yet.

          • Chadwells

            You ain’t kidding…

    • Lulu Mac

      They have to be involved somehow…that’s the only logical explanation I have even though it feels a little tinfoil-hattish to say it…

  • Crystalclear12

    The Trump shitshow needs to be cancelled. It’s derivative and unimaginative.
    We did this with Nixon.
    Worst remake ever.
    Nixon did it better. (A sentence I have never typed before.)

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I think the moment Mike Pence breaks with Trump, Republicans will flock to impeachment or 27th Amendment.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      And at least Nixon played piano beautifully. Or maybe not, but I read that somewhere once and I choose to believe it.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I think John Dean said, the other night on MSNBC, that Nixon was not a good piano player.
        But I have REM issues, so I may have dreamed it.

        • SpideySenser

          Have you discussed this with Mike Mills?

    • BosGrl

      I was thinking that Nixon did it better, too, but then I wondered if he wouldn’t be doing the same thing as Trump if Twitter had been around back then.

    • Pre-existing Ron

      Nixon was a paranoid whackaloon, but he also accomplished much good in office. Donnie has zero interest in doing ANYTHING that doesn’t benefit himself personally.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Seriously. Did you ever, in your wildest imagination, believe we’d ever see the day when we would make comparisons of Nixon to another president and Nixon would come out ahead? It boggles the mind.

  • schmannity

    Quinnipiac Poll:

    Trump approval 35%, disapproval 65%.

    Fiona approval 99%, disaaproval 0%, no opinion 1%

    • Mary Sandoras

      38% approval at Gallup and their usually behind a week or 2 on the Orange alert system.

    • There’s alot of hippsters out there, obv.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Unpossible to have no opinion about Fiona. This is FAKE NEWS. Her approval rating is 100%….about the same as Trump’s.

      • schmannity

        Cannot rely on a straight answer from hyenas.

      • geoffalnutt

        She’s much better looking, too.

    • Blackest Noobs
    • Blackest Noobs

      https://poll.qu.edu/national/release-detail?ReleaseID=2457

      for a guy who promised so much winning you would get tired of all the winning, he sure does have some shitty numbers. even among fucking white Republicans…go figure, right?

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    many FBI agents are changing their social media profile pictures to James Comey in memoriam.

    James Comey’s decision to REVEAL about Hillary’s emails and CONCEAL about Trump’s treason makes me a little nauseous. It is a cautionary tale about the political power one unelected official can have in our electoral system. He deserved to be fired.

    But Little Donnie fired him for other reasons. (Just like he fired Flynn, not because Sally Yates said he was compromised and not for lying to Pence, but “for other reasons”.) He fired Comey for failing to pledge fealty, for not publicly backing the (made up) wire tapping story, for being too tall, for … well, Little Donnie has his own little reasons.

    • BosGrl

      Exactly. It’s not the firing per se, but the timing and reasons. I think President Obama should have fired him last fall but he didn’t – probably because he had people around him saying “timing”.

      • shivaskeeper

        He should have been fired about 30 seconds after his bullshit briefing to Congress. Timing and optics stopped it. Comey knew what he was doing then and he knew what the fallout would be. He also knew that the timing made him untouchable.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend
    • Major_Major_Major

      Damnit I should have read down

  • La forza del resistino

    Did Donald cancel his pep talk at FBI HQ after Betsy DeVos let him know it can be rough out there?

    • DrBigHead

      I wonder if one of the staff “accidentally” locked him in the bathroom. They can’t be so delusional that they could not see what the outcome would have been if he had gone.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        “String him up”?

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Don’t let the door hit ya on your ginormous ass on the way out, either
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3ea8d5f7e4a62618c93768c363ef595062b28c3dee0df136d68f82dbc1ea8447.jpg

    • Keith Taylor

      Personally I hope the door hits him in his ginormous ass so hard his rectum pops out through his belly button … figuratively and with votes. Of course. My reason for wishing this is that my country and the U.S.A. have been pretty tight so far, and I love ’em both, and we still owe America a big one for coming into the Pacific in World War II, otherwise the Japanese would have taken us and New Zealand also. Not without a tough fight, but they’d have done it. Okay, we’ve entered a few ill-advised wars with the U.S.A. since then, proof that you need a completely valid casus belli unequivocally approved by Congress and no head of state should be able to tap-dance around that under any circumstances, because “We need to act NOW!” usually translates as, “We don’t want anybody to have time to think about this or examine the facts.” But you blokes still saved our golden-wattle-waving kangaroo asses and our memories aren’t that short. We hope and pray better times are coming for America and coming fast.

      • Painter of Goats

        Thank you for writing encouraging words and not just pointing and laughing.

  • Michael R
    • Lulu Mac

      Don’t you mean “daily”?

      • Michael R

        Pertymutch

    • CeeQ

      Today on “What Fresh Hell is This??!!”

  • Major_Major_Major

    DPRK News Service is the bestest. https://twitter.com/DPRK_News/status/863022981567528960
    Welcome back to the “breif”, thanks Dominiic-I always thought it was going to be a part of our style guide

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Awesome. Let’s add witness intimidation to the impeachment articles.

    • DrBigHead

      OK, exp;lain to me why this is NOT obstruction justice.

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    Today we are all baby hippos living in chaotic, autocratic theocracies.

  • Sophia

    Trump seems to get away with his shit quite often but I tell you his guardian angel must be looking like this now.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cad4a63539c2114b869ccec790b642e543aa06d43f097b30382d61fc43d6b4b1.jpg

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      My favorite tomb – Evelyn Story, in the Protestant Cemetery in Rome!

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I really do think Dolt 45 is afraid of the Russians. He absolutely, positively cannot say ONE BAD THING about them. He must know they can reach him even in the Oval if they want to, or get to one of his – I almost said “kids,” but hey, it’s more likely he’s worried about his businesses.

    • BosGrl

      He’d probably sacrifice his other daughter, you know, what’s-her-name?

      • Major_Major_Major

        It’ easy to remember, she is named after one of those high end stores, Macey.

  • Anna Rompage

    Better hope there’s no tapes?

    What, are you going to fire him….

    This reminds me of when a 4 year old does something really really bad and tries to deny it by blustering and then running away…

    • snigsy

      That’s his basic m.o. in a nutshell. (WWTD: What would a toddler do?)

    • DrBigHead

      I’m REALLY getting tired of saying this, but damn, every time you think that Trump could not possibly be more childish, he proves us wrong.

    • Marceline

      People I know with experience dealing with NPD say that he’s probably well on his way to a psychotic episode so it’s only going to get crazier from here, especially if we see more FBI raids.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    I posted this yesterday, but I may just keep posting it until Donnie is safely out of reach of the launch codes.

    I wonder if James Mattis and the Joint Chiefs are presently having discussions along the same lines as this. I hope they are:

    There were also serious questions about whether or not Nixon, in a desperate attempt to hold on to power, might use the military to protect himself and the White House. Tensions were already high in the streets of Washington, D.C. with protesters loudly demonstrating and calling for Nixon’s resignation. High-ranking officials in the Department of Defense and the White House privately worried about the possibility that Nixon would ring the streets around the White House with tanks and armored personnel carriers, ostensibly to protect the Executive Mansion from acts of civil disobedience, but also to set up a fortress-like barrier that might allow him to remain in the White House in the case of a Congressional or Supreme Court-ordered removal from office.

    Most startling of all is the fact that in the week before his resignation, Nixon’s inability to efficiently or appropriately wield executive power had dwindled so far that Secretary of Defense James R. Schlesinger urged General George S. Brown, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, to not take military orders directly from the President. In an attempt to save the country from any extra-constitutional power grab by a desperate President, the military chain-of-command took the extra-constitutional step of removing the President from the loop. Schlesinger also investigated what his options would be if troops had to forcibly remove the President from office. The Defense Secretary’s tentative plan was to bring the 82nd Airborne to Washington from Fort Bragg, North Carolina if that was necessary.

    • Lulu Mac

      JFC that’s way to analogous for my comfort…

    • Sheepshagger

      Wouldn’t a hundred dollar bill on a fishing line have worked?

    • PubOption

      I believe that the 82nd Airborne are currently on their way to Afghanistan

      • Major_Major_Major

        Yup, Mattis might want to put SEAL Team 6 on speed dial.

        • I’m sure the Legion Etrangere would be happy to lend a hand

    • LadyLaz

      Eell

    • Thaumaturgist

      Did they use the 82nd to take out Osama bin Laden?

      • Sheepshagger

        Bin Ladens wife lived with him, so he posed more danger than trump.

    • shivaskeeper

      Different military now than there was then. The current military from the rank and file grunts on up have the concept of illegal orders pounded into their heads.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      You know, that’s scary as fuck. It does make me wonder – Nixon, while obviously desperate and criminally-minded and paranoid and all the rest, was at least mostly sane and pretty intelligent. The orange shitgibbon is neither sane nor smart. What would the military brass do if he ordered a nuclear strike, or attempted a coup? One hopes they would remember that their oath to protect this country can mean from the president as well, but it does make your testicles climb back up to think about it.

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        Military officers consider and plan for some pretty far out contingencies. It’s part of the training syllabus. They’re already thinking about what they would do. You can bet on that.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Thank you – that actually makes me feel much better.

    • TakingAmes

      Dampnut has already said he leaves military decisions to the generals, so he essentially took himself out of the loop. We can have hope that Mattis, etc., have more loyalty to their nation than to their “commander in chief.”

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    This is not a Fiona video, but appropriate for today, I believe:
    https://www.facebook.com/clickhole/videos/1878683642371893/

    • snigsy

      “Them!”

  • FlemmishSpy
  • Claire

    I love that Fiona video. How obvious is it that her care team dotes on her and she knows it? And she’s almost ready to go outside!

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    “Going to goddamn steam” seems like an apt metaphor somehow for everything Trump represents.

    • snigsy

      As in a steaming pile of shit?

  • Thaumaturgist

    I’m like Donald. Why let the Navy go down the slippery slope of using “science” when a non-scientific thing like steam is better and cheaper?

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      I have no doubt that James Watt would agree.

      • TundraGrifter

        Watt? WATT?

    • Steam … non-scientific … errrr

    • Sheepshagger

      Steam is pretty fucking scientific. Put your hand over a kettle.

      • TundraGrifter

        Most of what comes out of a tea kettle is water vapor – hot, of course, but still water vapor. There is a little bit of steam at the mouth of the kettle when fully boiling (but it’s invisible). Science.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      If only it there were digital steam catapults. Then everyone would be happy.

      • Sheepshagger

        Like a Bluetooth tea kettle?

        • Skeptical_thinker

          Bluetooth tooth brush?

          • you do know that bluetooth kettles and toothbrushes are actual things

          • Lulu Mac

            My SIL has a bluetooth crock pot.

          • Skeptical_thinker

            Yeah, Ms. Thinker just bought a bluetooth tooth brush. It was cheaper than the one without bluetooth. Go figure!

      • Have you checked the Sharper Image catalogue?

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          I have not. I have a steam punk vision of a digital steam catapult in my head that I do not want to ruin.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • snark-lurker

      so does most of congress

    • Well, he’s already saddled the Supreme Court with arguably the worst possible asshat… Wonder if the whole lot of ’em are dragged out in cuffs, if there’s a way to reverse that.

  • memzilla Ω
    • Mary Sandoras

      Trying to change the narrative at this point is going to be impossible.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Cow’s thinking: “Dude, that’s just bullshit!”

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Cow’s thinking: “Dude, that’s just bullshit! and I should know!”

        IFYPFY

  • TundraGrifter

    Taking a step back for a moment, looking at the big picture – the Regressives don’t seem to mind a bit that Mr. Trump didn’t have the guts to call Mr. Comey into the Oval Office and deliver the bad news in person. Face-to-face. Like a human being with guts.

    The whole “You’re Fired!” lie has been exposed. But they rubes and gulls don’t care.

    I’ve written it before and I’ll write it again. President Trump’s supporters lack a rational foundation for their deeply held views, opinions and beliefs. So facts won’t ever change their minds.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Trump is the classic vindictive, insecure bully. He publicly grovels and kowtows to those he feels are smarter and tougher than him-remember that black female preacher in Detroit that smacked him upside the head?- then sneaks over to put a thumbtack on their chair and say nasty things once he is safely out of their reach. It’s behavior any parent would be appalled at in their own child.

      • His mother would rightfully be ashamed of him.

      • TundraGrifter

        Wasn’t it the PM of Scotland who said it was a shame that when he was a lad Mr. Trump’s mother didn’t tell him that he couldn’t have that cookie?

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Racism and bullying are definitely a big part of the family values he was raised with. Look what he did to his own fucking brother.

          • TundraGrifter

            And what he did to his late brother’s children – such as cutting off money to help the one with severe medical issues.

  • Bill D. Burger

    The first step in Making America Great Again:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C_gx2JcW0AAZAST.jpg

    • Lulu Mac

      The tie is about the right length…

    • jesuswasablack
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      “You’re nothing but a lot of talk and a badge! You’re nothing but a lot of talk and a badge! LET ME GO!”

    • Thaumaturgist

      Nah. You’d have to take Donald out in a straight jacket.

    • FAKE NEWS! Not fat enough.

  • A call to your senators and representative regarding trump’s attempt to intimidate Comey would be highly effective today…. you know, before the next thing to call them about happens.

    • aureolaborealis

      Not even sure what I’d say, at this point.
      “Hey! HEY! Are you seeing this shit?”

  • Skeptical_thinker

    We are saved!!!11!!!eleventy11!!

    Chuck Norris meets with Utah fans, says he’d accept job as FBI leader if America needs him

    Read the sublime details here:

    http://www.sltrib.com/home/5279875-156/chuck-norris-to-meet-with-utah#disqus_thread

    • Sheepshagger

      Shoot me.

      • snark-lurker

        if I thought it would help…

    • Mary Sandoras

      Yes, let’s glorify lack of experience for these yahoos.

      • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

        Why stop now?

    • OrG

      Who?

      • Sheepshagger

        Walker, Texas racist.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Sure, why not? At this point, I’m surprised Trump hasn’t hired a He-Man action figure for the job.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Not with that sissyboy haircut he sports.

        • Swampgas_Man

          And the steroid scandal.

          • ariel_gee_398

            The PEDs-era was a dark time for cartoon superheroes.

      • AndyC316

        😂😂😂😂

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Someone remind Chuck he only played a cop on TV? And you can’t roundhouse kick every problem.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Actually, in real life, he used to pal around with Joe Arpaio, terrorizing immigrants. They literally bulldozed a Mexican guy’s house because he was raising chickens illegally.

        • Ninja0980

          That was Steven Seagall, who is also a POS.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            And also has ties to Vlad the Puppetmaster

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Shit. Thx. In my defense, how do you tell these douchebags apart without a scorecard?

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            And who wants a scorecard of all douchebags?

          • Erala Contratista

            All look the same….

          • aureolaborealis

            Chuck Norris is the old creep who actually knows how to play kicky-foot.
            Steven Seagal is the slightly less old creep who is also hugely fat and doesn’t really know kicky-foot, but can make his opponents flip and fly with his magic circles, as long as they are completely cooperative.
            Also: Everybody knows Seagal is the king of improv:

            https://youtu.be/vZADl7z8yI0?t=56s

    • OrG

      How about Ice-T?

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Bless his heart.

    • Spurning Beer

      I don’t think that would ever happen. It would require Chuck Norris to confirm the Senate.

    • Stulexington

      Well all his experience with the Texas Rangers will really help him out there.

    • TakingAmes

      And Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has already “not ruled out” running for Pres in 2020. Maybe he should just be the FBI Director instead.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance
    • Villago Delenda Est

      The vile little shit that is Chris Cillizza has been PWND!

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      That is dark as fuck! Laughed my ass off, then cried a little, then redsisted the urge to start drinking.

      • TakingAmes

        And that’s the most appropriate possible response, I think.

    • I enjoyed that.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Villago Delenda Est

    Donald, don’t worry about Comey’s “tapes”. Worry about Lithuania’s “tapes”, you putz.

    • Major_Major_Major

      That is SOOOOOO unfair to putzes everywhere.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I don’t think he’s saying Comey has tapes; I think he’s warning Comey that HE DOES. He’s taking another stupid page out of the Nixon playbook. Of course, for that threat to work, he’d have to A) be in the right and [for once] not lying about what went down in their dinner meeting and B) release the secretly-recorded tape to prove himself right, which of course would also prove that he secretly recorded the director of the FBI in order to, presumably, get “dirt” on him.

  • Skeptical_thinker
    • Swampgas_Man

      Wish Middle America would wake up and smell that.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • jesuswasablack

    That Sarah Huckabee Sanders is awesome! Sufferin Suckatash!
    http://blog.arthursteel.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/marty_feldman_happy_wm.jpg

  • Sheepshagger

    Is dan Quayle still alive? I feel as if his time is now somehow.

    • Chadwells

      Oooohhh yeah he is!! He was circling around after the election it late November. I’m sure he figured Dickface would be stupid enough to hire him!

      • Sheepshagger

        Probably just forgot to put his left shoe on again. That’ll get the circuits happening.

        • Chadwells

          Potato potatoe.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Too busy golfing.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      The addition of a pathetic, drooling, 3rd-rate intellect WOULD be a step up for this administration, wouldn’t it?

  • Chadwells

    How can you prove this idiots ineptitude and utter stupidity better than him threatening a former director of the FBI…whom he fired in the midst of an investigation?!

    I mean…WHO FUCKING DOES THAT?! I just can’t get past it. It’s absolutely insane.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Can anyone help out a poor emu with a walnut-size brain? Does anyone understand what Trump’s tweet means? Is he suggesting that he, Trump, recorded their conversations, so Comey better not try to lie about what was said in them? That’s what it seems to say, but it doesn’t quite seem likely.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Because recording conversations in the White House has never gotten a President into trouble. Nope, not once.

    • HazooToo

      Do you recall, during the campaign, when he threatened to “spill the beans” on an opponent’s wife? He likes to threaten scandals, whether they exist or not, to taint public trust in his opponents.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        That’s true. And it’s probably no more specific than that in Trump’s little angry hamster brain.

      • Bebecca

        If you go under the impression that “he lies about everything he says”, you will have a much easier time of it.

        • HazooToo

          Yes, this is the thing that bothers me. I know that. You know that. Everyone knows that. No one is doing a fucking thing.

    • shivaskeeper

      Here is my comment form the open thread on this:

      So is this an admission of guilt? I mean he’s claiming Comey would be
      compromised by the “tapes”. That would make him complicit. Either he
      ignored whatever shady shit Comey was trying to run by him and left him
      to be the FBI director, or he was an active participant in whatever
      bullshit he is claiming to call out. Fucking idiot. Spicer and Huckafuck
      are going to be spinning like tops over this one as well.

      Comey, for all his faults and they are many, is a professional. You do not do
      27 years in government service signing all those NDAs and just forget
      about them because you got fired by a shitgibbon,. Comey will talk only
      under oath as part of the investigation as it proceeds.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I wasn’t taking it as an admission of guilt – rather, it seems like a suggestion that Comey might be inclined to lie about the content of their conversations, e.g. say he didn’t assure Trump he was not under investigation, but Trump cleverly recorded them, so Comey better not try it.

        • shivaskeeper

          He’s trying to taint anything Comey might say forever more. It’s just that the way he worded it makes him look guilty of not removing Comey for suggesting something that wasn;t above board or being involved in some shady shit with him. Either way it’s a dumb statement.

          I think we can all bank n there being no “tape”. It’s just him being him and trying to lay some groundwork to get out from under.

          • cmd resistor

            The tape is in the vault with the birth certificate research and his tax returns. And the video of the celebrating Muslims. I think he knows Comey can’t say anything in public so just throws that shit out there so his followers will buy his bullshit.

          • Skeptical_thinker

            Every time I read “he knows” where the pronoun is standing in for DJT, my brain gets the hiccups.

          • shivaskeeper

            Here’s the thing, Comey can say something in public. If he’s sitting on information and he thinks the investigation is not going along apace as it should, he can dump everything he knows to the press, the public, Congress, and anyone else who will listen. He will also have to face the full force of the law for violating his NDA. That is a choice he might have to make at some point.

          • cmd resistor

            I’m guessing Trump is banking that he won’t. But we shall see.

          • shivaskeeper

            That is the sort of thing that is a huge step to take. I doubt DJT even knows it’s an option, but it;s not something that would be undertaken lightly.

          • Tania

            The only vault I am concerned with is the one on Dr Who – that makes more sense than what Trump is spinning.

          • Stulexington

            Which would mean he still thinks he has some sort of ability to bluff at this point. Sad.

          • shivaskeeper

            I really don’t think he is a Russian agent. He is pathologically unable to keep his mouth shut so I don’t think he was groomed personally as he would be unable to not talk about it. I think he is surrounded by compromised people in his staff and Cabinet for sure, if not in Congress as well. He’s also easy to manipulate so there is no need to groom him. There probably is compromising material at the Kremlin, but whether they told him about it or not, who knows.

            I think he is eyeball deep in dirty Russian money and that’s what he’s worried about. Nothing more or less than his cash flow. He’s to stupid to realize that he’s always gotten by by living somewhat in the shadows and being able to bury any complaints in lawsuits. He’s in the spotlight now and he’s scared about it. He used to think he was in the spotlight building his brand buy that was nothing compared to this so your are right. He is trying to bluff his way out.

          • Precisely

    • BosGrl

      I think he’s saying, “you’d better not have been secretly recording our conversation”.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        …that still leaves two questions. 1) If that were illegal to do, Comey wouldn’t have done it, because he couldn’t benefit from doing it. 2) If it’s not illegal to do, then what is the basis of Trump’s threat?

        • shivaskeeper

          Insanity? Dementia? Idiocy?

          • Skeptical_thinker

            Insanity? Dementia? Idiocy? All of the above?

            IFYPFY

        • BosGrl

          Drumpf is incredibly paranoid at this point. He doesn’t understand that Comey wouldn’t have done it. He said something during their conversation that he (Drumpf) is afraid of.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I think that’s what he was intimating, but I also think it’s extremely likely that Trump only listened to the parts of whatever he said that Trump wanted to hear. Like that time he thought Elijah Cummings told him he’d be a great president. Or anytime anyone says something negative that he wants to wish out of existence.

      • cmd resistor

        I thought of that Elijah Cummings thing, too. I think he stretched it even to Cummings told him he would be the GREATEST president. Right.

    • Vincent Ricola

      I think it meant he recorded his interactions with Comey and thinks they can be used to embarrass him.

      But I also too think Donald has everything from Mar-a-Lago to the White House to Melania’s penthouse bugged like a common Putin, so I’m already down the rabbithole.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        So that’s what he meant about “the cyber.”

        • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

          Barron has been very busy

  • HazooToo

    That wasn’t even a “veiled” threat. And the top story is not “Trump is being impeached”. … Why are we supposed to think this isn’t hopeless?

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      In Trump’s defense, it ts unpossipble to know what word he actually means: tapp, tapas, tape, tap, etc.

  • anon_the_great

    I WANT MY COUNTRY BACK !
    (from the Russians)

    • From Russia with Love

      From the ignorant hicks who manage to be over-represented in our government as well.

  • Reximus
  • Ninja0980

    So how many tweets is Trump up to today?
    Seven, eight?

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    “And another thing, what’s with all these complicated airplanes? All these buttons and digital whatsits…why can’t we go back to Mustangs and Dauntlesses, huh?”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Shut up, Fokker, you’re out of your element.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        ISWYDT

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        YOU WIN THE INTERNETS

      • Thaumaturgist

        Boeing! Boeing!

      • chicken thief

        Whoa! That wasn’t very Curtiss.

    • Skeptical_thinker

      Sorry Donald, you have zero credibility on the subject.

  • ariel_gee_398

    My best guess as to what is on any tapes, if they exist:
    “Mr. President, I cannot discuss any investigation regarding collusion between your campaign and Russia with you.”
    “So you’re saying no investigation exists? Great news, Jim. By the way, did you catch the rack on the girl I have working the door? I mean, she’s no Ivanka, but she’s a solid 9. I said to Reince and Steve, ‘No dogs. I’m the fucking President. 9s and up, only. Period.'”

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “And don’t forget to drop off your signed copy of the Loyalty Oath with Bannon. Or else…”.

  • Treehopper1104

    It sounds an awful lot like he is threatening to blackmail Comey. Is that not illegal?

  • Uh oh, with that Comey tweet it looks like donnie took Putin’s cock out of it’s holster.

  • Proud Liberal

    Somebody lock this crazy man baby up! Come on Republicans! Do your fucking job!

  • MynameisBlarney

    So, looks like the turd in the Oval Office may be just a weeeee bit unstable.

    What y’all think?

  • Msgr_MΩment

    One snowflake little congressvermin:

    Since the vote, the attacks launched against me by the radical left can only be described as what they are – reprehensible. https://www.facebook.com/EliseforCongress/posts/1031838570279467

    Throwing millions off healthcare to give your wealthy treasondonors a tax handie? Priceless.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Geezers with wheelchairs, walkers, and oxygen tanks are the radical left now? I mean, I know we’re an aging demographic, but…

    • chicken thief

      The comments under that post are great. It appears she represents a lot of radical left reprehensibles.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      So now it’s “radical left” ? Really?

      Of course, in this country the worst thing being “radical left” leads to are participating in marches and maybe being a vegan. The radical right are terrorists Nazis, so there is that.

  • William

    Donald is simply telling Comey to not say anything about the investigation he assured Donald he’s not under (three times).

    http://media2.giphy.com/media/xrvCI5ykhg9QQ/giphy.gif

  • MynameisBlarney

    Also, Mr. Unpresident.
    I think it is YOU that better hope none of those conversations were recorded. You stipid fucking traitor.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend
  • Proud Liberal
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Was it on Fox News? Then, no.

  • chicken thief

    ““He’s trying to get a result. And as smart as he [Ted Cruz] is, he can be a real
    force in making that happen,” said Sen. Lamar Alexander (R-Tenn.),…”

    And we all know how SMRT Ted Cruz is – about half as smart as Sally Yates.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Ted Cruz is smart like how John Holmes was celibate.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        At least Mr. Holmes had some considerable “talent” to work with.

    • Half as SMRT as Sally Yates makes him the intellectual powerhouse of the Republicans

      • chicken thief

        PAUL RYAN THE WONK LIB…!11!!!!!

        Ah, fuck it – good point!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Proud Liberal

      All enemies of the state.

  • Bebecca

    This is a serious, and possibly rhetorical, question. Why did Trump decide to admit HE made the decision to fire Comey? There was some political gain for him, in his mind at least because that is his reason for everything he does.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Reportedly Comey’s deputy threatened to resign and hold a press conference if Trump kept saying that he (the deputy) made the call to fire Comey (which was the story they gave Sarah Huckabee to tell).

      • shivaskeeper

        Not Comey’s detupy McCabe, it was Asst AG Rosenstein that was threatened resignation wasn’t it?

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Huh. Yeah, looking back over yesterday on the google, that seems right, although I could swear McCabe was in there too?

          • shivaskeeper

            McCabe was the one who contradicted the Admins narrative about Comey having lost the confidence of the rank and file agents.

          • chicken thief

            McCabe is like “fuck you, POTUS, go ahead and fire me, too”.

          • shivaskeeper

            Since he is the Acting Director there was already talk yesterday about replacing him with an Interim Director. Supposedly the Admin had interviewed at least four people. Acting is replaced by Interim and the Interim would be the one that gets the confirmation eventually. It doesn’t usually move that fast. Acting is not the one who will necessarily get the nod either.

            I have to wonder who would be stupid enough at this point to work for this Admin. Earlier some of his Cabinet picks backed out and it’s just gotten worse since then.

    • Lulu Mac

      Because his narcissism prevents him from letting anyone else look like they made a decision. He HAS to take credit for it…even if it is taking credit for a crime.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      He’s the (New) decider!

    • Phoenixdoglover

      He likes to bullshit and he likes to brag.

    • snark-lurker

      no matter what, it always has to be about “The Donald”

    • shivaskeeper

      It is his decision. He is the one with the power to fire the Director. He is trying to make himself look strong and decisive by doing this.

      • Sophia

        I agree with you. He can not have it looking like anyone else made a decision. He is the leader not the follower period

    • Bill D. Burger

      Reportedly, he was “white hot” after Comey’s remark that the idea he influenced the election made him “mildly nauseous” (Trump took it personally. Always the thin skinned, paranoid egomaniac.) and Comey’s earlier testimony on the Russia/Trump connections had already enraged Hair Furor.

      • chicken thief

        “white hot” ? Does orange turn “white hot” when heated?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      He assumes he can lie his way out of it later…a strategy he has been successfully employing literally his entire fucking life.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      It’s part of his (unfortunately, rather effective) method: create confusion around every potentially unpopular move. He did it. No. I did it. This was planned for months. No, something changed. It changed because of what this other guy said. But that other guy was acting on my recommendation. Which I made after he said that. Or did I?….

      • Bebecca

        I read that he’s now considering not having press briefings because how can his people possibly keep up with the latest goings on?

        • shivaskeeper

          I thought they were just floating the excuse that since he’s so busy there is no way for his official spokespeople to keep up with him. I hope the media is paying attention. This is your reward for going along with everything so you can have access.

    • Me not sure

      It was a “strongman move”. He has to show he’s the big daddy.

      • chicken thief

        After confessing to being tricked by them Russians.

    • Yr. Gma

      He doesn’t do it for political gain. He does it for personal gain. He needs to feed his narcissism.

  • MynameisBlarney

    When you’ve lost Iwanka…

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/05/no-one-can-talk-sense-into-him-cnn-guest-says-even-ivanka-seems-to-have-lost-control-of-president-trump/

    I honestly think it’s just a matter of time before they sedate him and throw him in a rubber room.

    • Proud Liberal

      Who the fuck is going to step up and do something? This is getting ridiculous.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I’m beginning to think that the IC might take extra-legal action if the fuckin repubs don’t do something really goddamn soon.

        • ltmcdies

          pee tape….on every screen….

      • BrendaKay

        The problem is, any Republican that steps up is going to have to be willing to throw away his career. I don’t think any are willing to do that.

        • Proud Liberal

          They don’t deserve to have a career if they are that spineless.

          • BrendaKay

            I agree!

        • idk, I think at this point, with the numbers in the toilet, a smart GOPer could be in a great spot to “save the party and the nation” as it were

        • Me not sure

          If at some point they don’t step forward, the voters will throw their careers away for them.

      • shivaskeeper

        If this is a calculated thing and they are hoping to get things done before the midterms they are trying to walk a fine line. Trump is tanking their brand. They need to get him out far enough ahead of the midterms that they can recover but not so far out that they still get nothing done with Pence and also not so close that it’s still ongoing or too raw.

        If this is calculated. At this point there may be too many of them who will get swept up if they try to impeach.

      • ltmcdies

        agreed…this is not sustainable….

    • wait! what?

      Donald has gone prompt critical.

      “This becomes a firestorm of whether or not Trump is tampering with an investigation and obstruction of justice and risking impeachment,” she said. “This is all illustrative of the fact that no one can stop President Trump. No one can say pause for 36 hours, let’s think about the consequences of running your mouth to Lester Holt, or tweeting Rosie O’Donnell on the same day. No one can stop this.”

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Yes, I can tell Ivanka is really, really upset about the things her daddy’s administration does. Just look at the poor dear, struggling with her tears.

      https://twitter.com/Only4RM/status/860657484771536896

    • chicken thief

      “No one can talk sense into him,” she [Stoddard] said. “Not Vice President Pence.
      Not Reince Priebus. Not Steve Bannon. Not the kids. Nobody.”

      Wow. That’s quite the list of deep thinkers there…

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    I am still wrapping my head around Trump not understanding the Navy’s aircraft launcher. Basically we have a luddite in the oval office. He doesnt understand it so its not good. Its like the Old fashioned Guy sketches from The State. Lord have mercy on the US

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Which is hilarious, because he’d rather have robots serving hamburgers than humans, but he’d rather have servicepeople working around live steam than have a robot calculate shit.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        his weird obsession with steam was a massive WTF to me, Theres a reason the navy stopped using steam.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          One of my grandma’s brothers got his legs pretty much cooked going back into a ship’s boiler room to get people out after the pipes burst. I would think that’s one of the things we have technology to avoid.

    • Bill D. Burger

      And his revealing that 35 stealth aircraft flew over Japan undetected was a monumental example of his ability to keep highly sensitive intel a secret.

    • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend
    • Ignorant people fear what they do not understand and hate what they fear.
      Exhibit A: Trump

    • jesterpunk

      There was a show on the science channel last week talking about a bunch of ship built before WW1 that where made out of wood. They where never used for anything and where just sunk after the war was over. How long until Trump calls to return to those kind of ships because they where used for a long time?

    • I try to sneak those military/defense stories in sometimes to see who’s paying attention to the other things. This is one of those that made close my eyes and heave a heavy sigh.

  • I’m just gonna watch Fiona videos all weekend. My psyche has been assaulted this week on an epic level.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Lurv the headline — invoking my NUMBER one all time favorite film. It’s a sublime movie.

  • Proud Liberal

    The Electoral College had one job. It failed miserably.

    • At least we finally have proof that the electoral collage- which was really put in place to keep slave holding states from having less power than free states- was not really set up to “prevent a lunatic from being president”

      • Proud Liberal

        It should be abolished once and for all.

        • Yes. Yes it should.
          Funny how Conservatives are ALL FOR!!!! Mob rule…except for in that one leetle instance….

          • Proud Liberal

            They know they could never win a national popular vote.

    • jodyleek

      I was thinking about this last night. If all the blue states voted 100% for the Dem candidate and the red states voted for the Repub by the slimmest of margins, what would be the theoretical imbalance between the popular vote and the electoral college outcome?

  • Me The People

    Anyone heard from worthless scumbag Mitt Romney lately?

    • Proud Liberal

      He’s thinking of running in 2020.

      • Me The People

        Till then, he’ll be cringing silently behind the curtain, shitting his pants it seems.

        • jodyleek

          If you soil your magic undies you have to burn them. Someone check his house for a smoke plume.

    • Yr. Gma

      He lost me when he went to dinner with Donnie after the election. Up until then, I had hope he would be part of taking Donnie down.

  • wait! what?

    I’m loving the idiocracy around the Navy catapult tantrum Donald threw. The new EMF design doesn’t require dedicated reactors to operate. Going back to “steam” would be a hyooge mistake.

    • It is weird, I thought he wanted to have the best most modern ever military!!! Why the tantrum over a new Navy toy?

      • wait! what?

        Maybe a vendor complained. There’s usually 2 reactors dedicated to the catapults out of a possible total of around 8. That’s a lot of contractor money that just went out the window.

      • kareemachan

        Cuz he heard some idiot say it on Faux Noise…

    • UnsaltedSinner

      He doesn’t trust it because he thinks it’s “digital”. It’s not clear what he thinks that word means.

      • wait! what?

        Maybe he thought digital meant someone was trying to wiretap the planes…

        • UnsaltedSinner

          He probably looked at a computer and said to himself: “No way that can launch a plane…”

      • Painter of Goats

        It’s almost as worrisome as the cyber.

      • kfunk937

        Possibly remembering his prosate exam?

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Maybe he’ll find a way to bring back “clean coal”. Make Our Navy Great Again

  • janecita

    94% of Pennsylvanians that voted for Trump, would still do it today. Stupidity is strong among Republicans.

    • eh. Where did they do that poll? Cause if it is where I think it was, not surprised.

      • Yr. Gma

        In the last open coal mine?

      • janecita

        It was probably on the Kentucky side of Pennsyltucky:-)

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Admitting that you shouldn’t have voted for Trump first requires you to admit to yourself that you’re an idiot. That’s hard.

      • Claire

        Yeah. A rabbit hole that deep has to be a bitch to climb out of. Doesn’t mean no one will, but I’d be surprised if most of them didn’t just double down on the virtues of mud and rabbit shit.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Number is going back down, according to 538…

    • Blackest Noobs

      “I voted for Hillary; I’m one of those odd Republicans who went the other way,” said Dave Moore, a 56-year-old small business owner from Salisbury Township. “I would never change my vote; I mean come on, look around.”

      http://lancasteronline.com/news/pennsylvania/pennsylvania-voters-stick-by-their-vote-for-president-new-poll/article_7e378552-35c7-11e7-b703-6b81ff7351d2.html

    • cheetojeebus

      Just got off the phone with Toomey’s office. Christ, what an asshole. Rude and clearly uninterested in my opinion once he realized I was a democrat.

      • janecita

        I actually met him once, the man is a smug asshole.

        • cheetojeebus

          Yes, he does give that impression!

  • Spurning Beer

    I think it would be thoughtful to send a muffin basket to the White House Counsel. That’s got to be the worst job in the country today.

    • natoslug

      As long as the muffins are post-digestion, I’m in.

      • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

        With 2 scoops of ice cream cause we’re thoughtful like that.

  • jesterpunk

    The new policy is expected to lead to more federal prosecutions and
    an increase in the federal prison population. In February, Sessions
    seemed to prepare for that inevitability, reversing a directive from
    previous deputy attorney general Sally Yates for the Justice Department
    to stop using private prisons to house federal inmates.

    Yates said at the time that doing so was possible because of declining inmate
    numbers. Sessions, though, said it had “impaired the [Bureau of
    Prisons’] ability to meet the future needs of the federal correctional
    system” — hinting that he saw a very different future for putting people
    behind bars.

    So Sessions order is about filling prisons with as many people as they can for as long as they can. Nothing else.

    • OrG

      PROFIT$$$$

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Racism and mass incarceration do play very well in the rural voting districts.

        • TundraGrifter

          And – jobs! In many rural communities private prisons are major employers.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Yeah, private prisons are one of the few sources of employment that require no qualifications whatsoever. You know, for people too unstable to work at Sizzler.

          • jesterpunk

            So this list?

            Sizzler

            TSA

            Private prisons?

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Soon to be ICE if they get their way.

          • jesterpunk

            Does ICE go before or after TSA?

          • Keith Taylor

            There are things that should never be turned over to private enterprise or run for profit. The armed forces, the courts and the police force head the list. A country’s prison system is only a little below them.
            Warden Norton and Captain Byron Hadley, are you there?

      • jesterpunk

        They are not private prisons (yet) these are tax payer funded prisons.

        • TakingAmes

          Owned by private for profit corporations.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      With as many blah people as they can, let’s not kid ourselves. When Sessions says, for example, that “good people” don’t smoke pot, he really means “white people don’t smoke pot.” I know the guy and his type. he pulls this shit all the time.

      • Sister Suffragette

        “We all know there are two kinds of crime: regular and black.”

        — Kate McKinnon as Jeff Sessions

    • TundraGrifter

      Wasn’t it a for-profit private prison company that wrote the anti-immigrant law for the state of Arizona?

      • jesterpunk

        Why yes it was.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Jan Brewer was ass-deep in that one.

      • bupkus231

        Along with KKKobach….

    • UnsaltedSinner

      It’s like the good old South Sessions grew up in, where police would be sent out to arrest all the blah people they could find to make sure white farmers had workers when the harvest came.

    • We can only hope jeff sessions’ new crackdown will eventually net jeff sessions.

      WHAT an asshole.

    • TakingAmes

      And benefiting the private prison corporations. Of course.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      It is becoming increasingly difficult to utter the phrase “with votes”.

    • SeeTrain65

      And CoreCivic and Geo Group couldn’t be happier.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    So now Trump is openly threatening Comey. Great…

    Remember when Bush fired nine US attorneys because they wouldn’t abuse their office by going after Democrats in an election year? One of the unintended consequences of that was that Bush effectively put a label on every US attorney. After all, if those who refused to use their power for political gain were fired, the clear implication was that the ones who didn’t get fired must have proven their willingness to do Bush’s bidding.

    That same thing could be happening now with officials who are responsible for investigating Trump. If Trump keeps firing anyone he perceives as a threat, what does that say about the officials Trump doesn’t fire? Is the reason they keep their jobs that Trump feels confident that they will do whatever he wants? And is he right about that? Thanks to Trump, it will now be impossible to fully trust those who are tasked with keeping an eye on him.

    • TundraGrifter

      Of course threatening Mr. Comey will backfire on our President. Any LEO who was on the fence about the firing just got a shove to the other side.

      When he was running for President, Mr. Trump promised to unite Americans. I don’t think he intended to rally a torches and pitchforks mob, but it appears to be doing so.

    • LadyLaz

      Mmm. Well there are limits to it.

  • TundraGrifter

    “The Navy has a fancy new system to fling aircraft into the sky which requires less maintenance, but it’s too confusing to Trump, who thinks the Navy should go back to ‘goddamn steam.’ How quaint!”

    I visited a US Navy ship docked in San Francisco that had a catapult to launch a seaplane. It could throw a VW from Fisherman’s Wharf to Lands End.

    • William

      The steam catapults remain a huge maintenance nightmare. They use multiplied steam pressure to take a 15 ton aircraft from 0 to 120 in less than 3 seconds. The new system uses essentially magnets. It’s cleaner, less hassle, and when (and if) it ever gets perfected will save a lot of money. All but one carrier is still using steam catapults. The steam of course is generated through a heat exchanger powered by a nuclear reactor. There is an effort to simplify propulsion catapults and even gun systems by making everything electric. Ironically the “all electric” Navy was tried before. http://futureforce.navylive.dodlive.mil/2015/08/electric-ship-propulsion/

      • Yr. Gma

        Steam engines run on coal, no? I see a plan here…

        • cheetojeebus

          Uranium.

      • Paperless Tiger

        Rail guns?

    • LadyLaz

      That is kind of awesome.

      • TundraGrifter

        It made quite an impression on me. They told me it can toss 2,000 lbs. 7 miles.

    • jaspersdad

      Make Trebuchets Great Again

      • TundraGrifter

        This one is a real catapult. It must be quite a rush to be strapped into the left seat when they fire that baby up and fling the plane.

  • Me not sure

    I saw the movie “Heathers” years ago, so my memory might be a little fuzzy, but was there a fat Heather named Heather Huckabee?

  • cmd resistor

    So I had a question of great importance. At the Comey dinner, did Trump get more scoops of ice cream than Comey?

  • TundraGrifter

    In another textbook example of “Not Exactly Thinking This Thing Through” (Mr. Obama was known for 3rd and 4th and 5th order analysis; Mr. Trump not so much):

    President Trump warned James Comey about leaking conversations. Doesn’t that suggest there are secrets to leak?

    • Blackest Noobs

      even dumber Trump admits he records conversations; it was also Nixon’s downfall.

      If there are tapes, there is evidence of collusion. with Russia.
      Trump is pretty much a fucking traitor. no lock him up.
      STRING HIM UP!!!!

      DEATH TO FUCKING TRAITORS!!!!

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        I want to see the Flynn tapes!…

    • UnsaltedSinner

      It certainly suggests there are recordings that can be subpoenaed (I refuse to believe that even the Trump administration still uses “tapes”).

      • puredog

        FWIW, “tapes” was in “quotes” in the “Tweet,” WeverTF that might mean.

  • Yr. Gma

    Nixon at his most paranoid was not as unhinged as Donnie is currently. This gives me hope. (Well, as long as Donnie doesn’t launch the nukes at Comey’s house.)

  • witsended

    For some reason this video makes me think of fart and co, arse fucking the rest of you little people.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyriEFU0lnY

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Trump proposes new fleet of “Monitor”-class warships.

    • Doug Langley

      With engines made up of hundred of tea kettles to produce the steam.

  • chicken thief

    BREAKING NEWS: McConnell and Ryan are holding a joint presser at 11:30 EST to address this latest tweet storm from the President!!!!

    Jes kidding!!! They still have their “let’s cut taxes while we still have a GOP majority” boners and that’s all that matters.

  • Blackest Noobs

    you’re a weak leader if you need to demand loyalty.

    • SisterArtemis

      ain’t that the truth!

  • Doug Langley

    Time for this week’s takedown of Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead:

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/daylightatheism/2017/05/fountainhead-selling-dream/

    Bonus! This time they have a Randroid troll!

    • Jim Johnson

      Always good to see scorn heaped on historical troublemaker Ayn Rand.
      I’m convinced that taking her down, along with all the other glorifications of selfishness, greed, and hatefulness, is the best way to Make America Great Again.

  • witsended

    This recipe blog is going to the dogs, the only important news of global importance in the world at the moment and no mention of it anywhere.

    ‘Everything in life right here!’ Proud mom Bristol Palin poses with husband Dakota and their three children in first photos of the family-of-five, taken just after the birth of baby girl Atlee Bay

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4499768/Bristol-Palin-shares-family-photo-giving-birth.html

    One unanswered question. Was Atlee Bay the location of the conception fuck?

    • Ferroequinologist Ron

      I spent one August in Atlee Bay. Good fishing and wonderful sunsets, but the damned neighbours seemed to be drunk half the time and fucking in public the other half.

      • witsended

        So the answer is more than likely yes, as it seems to have all the hallmarks of a Palin destination.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    The “president” is f*ing crazy.

  • chicken thief

    Trump’s law firm was recognized by Russia as “Law Firm of the Year, 2016”.

    One can no longer make this shit up….

    http://fortune.com/2017/01/11/donald-trumps-morgan-lewis-russia-award/

    • Doug Langley

      I really thought you were making that up.

  • Our government is actively hostile to its citizens.

    • SisterArtemis

      I’d agree, if it weren’t so apparent much of our government is struggling to figure out how to protect -us from hostility – thinking of the many senators and congresscritters here on the west coast, as well as our governors, state legislators, and some of our mayors, who are voices in the Resistance.

      It’s a weird time, having our government so split. But at least it IS split into Trump loyalists and those who are trying to legally stand up to him. Can’t imagine how awful it would be if every representative of us citizens was just rolling with this nightmare.

  • Ferroequinologist Ron

    I’m gonna go spla waiting for something to happen today. Think I’ll go work on the tractor or lay some track or something. Laters!

  • Rick Hill

    “…rounding up 82,000 non-English speaking public school students and then “turn them over to ICE to see if they truly are citizens.”

    Isn’t arresting people”s families and vanashing them to another country just how you make terrists?

    • SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Including out of many who aren’t personally impacted by the disappearances. Funny how people who love freedom are willing to go to the barricades for it. Going to be a very, very interesting decade in this Wanna-be Dutertestan.

      • phoenix00

        Oh if it was Duterte there would be 82,000 corpses, “suspected of drug offenses”

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I’m exhausted and it’s not even noon.

    • Al Swearengen

      Well, it has been 3 trumpyears since you got up.

  • Ever notice everything Der Trump does is basically Fascism-101

    Which was the toughest class at Trump University. The prof was an actual Nazi.

  • Lefty Wright

    Concerning the Sessions directive on charging maximum sentences, he did say that with justification, prosecutors could ignore that. I foresee a significant increase in subtle messages to the judge and prosecutor. For example, the 32 year old white guy with no steady employment is charged with doctor shopping and getting 32 prescriptions for oxy in the last 6 months. He shows up at trial in a coat, tie, flag pin, fresh haircut and solemn expression. The defense attorney point to him and says “look at my client. A patriotic American who supports the community.” The unstated message – look, he’s white. Patriotic means he voted for Republicans. American notes he was born in the same county he now lives in. Supports the community – he just gave $500 to the local Republican Party. The judge says “Bailiff, set him free and give him a thousand dollars for his inconvenience. ”

    Next up, a 40 year old black guy who worked in manual labor his entire life, has three kids at home and copped two hydrocodones because he had a back ache from working 60 hours a week. He comes to court in frayed blue jeans and a frayed shirt because that is the best he has. Prosecutor points to him and says “Look at this drug addled man”. Judge slams the gavel and says “20 years. Next case”. I have a feeling that is the discretion Sessions is talking about.

    • Jim Johnson

      Institutional racism is now the American way to “greatness”.
      What’s the maximum sentence for perjury before Congress?

    • phoenix00

      Sometimes the dog whistles are so loud it’s deafening.

  • to make a plan for modernizing and securing U.S. government IT infrastructure

    …with a teensy weensy backdoor for our Russian comrades to waltz right through…..

    • Al Swearengen

      They’re moving all our cybersecurity development into “the cloud”. So our top secret stuff will be on shared servers with people from around the world. Go read Jester Actual’s twitter streem. As a hacker, he says “Perfect!”

  • Khavrinen

    “Comey only pledged his “honesty.””

    And tRump accepted that, because he doesn’t like admitting it when there are words he doesn’t recognize.

  • Khavrinen

    “Trump signed an E.O. to study voter fraud and suppression”

    “It’s a cookbook ‘How-to’ !”

  • puredog

    I am joining the scrum really late today, but must note that one of the people allegedly under consideration to succeed Comey is Trey Gowdy. Boy, howdy. If that don’t beat all.

    • phoenix00

      He’s “under consideration” for one reason only: Hillary Clinton.

Previous articleDid Bill O’Reilly Beat His Ex-Wife For Catching Him Having Phone Sex?
Next articleFox & Friends Newshounds Find Buried Lede In Lester Holt Trump Interview: Holt Rudely Asked Questions!