SHARE

Once again, Fox News has its finger right on the pulse of the most important news of the day, and that news is a call to the women of this great and glorious nation to be “nicer” so their husbands will like them more. Because men, it turns out, like women who are nice. Woah, if true.

Suzanne Venker, niece of the much-missed feminist icon Phyllis Schlafly and author of such classics as “The War on Men,” “How To Choose A Husband” and “The Flipside of Feminism,” explains in an earth-shattering op-ed, “Most men just want a woman who’s nice,” that husbands would prefer to have their wives be pleasant and ask them how their day was and stuff!

At the end of the day, most men just want a woman who’s nice. “Nice,” to a man, means being soft, gentle and kind. It means asking your husband how his day was and really listening. It means doing something nice for him with no expectation of getting something in return—you know, the way you did when you were dating.

They prefer this, reportedly, rather than beating them repeatedly over the head with a frying pan and telling them that they have a very small penis, as those feminists are always suggesting.

Problem is, women have been taught that being a nice or solicitous wife equates to servitude, as though a woman’s niceness automatically equates to being a mouse—whereupon her husband will walk all over her.

But women also like it when men are nice, right? No, says Venker. We like “bad boys.” A truth universally acknowledged by guys who are actually jerks but think they do not have dates because of how nice they are, and also Suzanne Venker. Everyone loves guys who are jerks, which is why Fox News exists and Donald Trump is president.

Most women do want a man who’s kind, but that’s not the same as nice. Ask any guy you know, and he’ll likely give you example after example of women they know who said they wanted a nice guy but in reality wanted a bad boy. That’s because just as most men are attracted to femininity, or softness, most women are attracted to masculinity. And masculinity is hard. Gruff. Take charge.

This is some real deep shit, right there! Talk about insight into human nature! Except probably if you ask the women they are talking about, they probably think that the guys they chose to date were, in fact, very nice.

Because hey — it sure is a lot easier to say to oneself, “OH, she just didn’t like me because of how nice I am. Not because I smell like soup or talked endlessly about my reasons for not believe in tipping, or offered her the ‘opportunity’ to edit my screeenplay that has basically the same plot as ‘The Hangover’ for free as soon as I get around to writing it, or only had one song downloaded to my computer and that song was the Eric Carmen version of ‘All By Myself.’ No, surely it is because I am so nice.”

Not everyone is naturally nice, Venker astutely notes, but women who do not naturally “ooze” niceness should try being nice, instead of being not nice. Nice! However, it is not nice when people who are not nice only pretend to be nice. So you have to be nice for real.

It’s really obvious when you’re dealing with a genuinely nice person (as opposed to a phony nice person). Women like my hair stylist and my editor at Fox, or even my own daughter (though at 17, I can’t call her a “woman” just yet), ooze niceness. It comes so naturally to them! That makes them easy to love.

Venker then explains that men like women who are “easy to love.” Which is a lot like saying people like laughing at things that are funny.

This is a very important thinkpiece that definitely could not have been written by a 15-year-old who is pretty sure they’ve figured the whole world out. Definitely very worthy of national publication.

Incidentally, said article has been published on the heels of Fox News having some trouble with ladies who have sued the news organization and its pundits for all kinds of sexual harassment. It is, naturally, not very easy to love a woman or think she is nice when she is suing you for sexual harassment. Perhaps if ladies would just be nicer, Fox News would not be in this mess at all!

[Fox News]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

    Fuck me.

  • memzilla Ω
  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Not everyone is naturally nice, Venker astutely notes, but women who do not naturally “ooze” niceness should try being nice, instead of being not nice. Nice! However, it is not nice when people who are not nice only pretend to be nice. So you have to be nice for real.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/471c5c5e71c18858208a5e404481b8b0b0db3c14afdd667070ff8b55a7f5fae3.png

  • Beanz&Berryz

    But, are Bad Boys actual adult men?

    • HoldonKaitlaninEncinitas

      Nope. They are generally walled-off boys incapable of real intimacy, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable and intimate is how you actually get a woman to love you, in my humble opinion.

  • dslindc

    But will that make them more vulnerable to “President” Pussgrab McWeakSAD?

  • jesterpunk

    Most women do want a man who’s kind, but
    that’s not the same as nice. Ask any guy you know, and he’ll likely give
    you example after example of women they know who said they wanted a
    nice guy but in reality wanted a bad boy. That’s because just as most
    men are attracted to femininity, or softness, most women are attracted
    to masculinity. And masculinity is hard. Gruff. Take charge.

    FRIENDZONE waaaaahhhhhh, was that written by one of the MRA morons?

  • dslindc

    In other news, Presidents who aren’t complete and total shit shows enjoy better popularity! It’s science!

  • timpundit

    I like the way Margaret Cho flirts with a boy.

    “STICK IT IN”.

    Romance is not dead , people.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • arglebargle
  • maxneanderthal

    Hellfire, I need to check the date.
    Yup, it says it’s 2017, right here…

  • Treg Brown

    Let’s switch genders to really highlight how incredibly stupid this sounds.

    At the end of the day, most women just want a man who’s nice. “Nice,” to a woman, means being soft, gentle and kind. It means asking your wife how her day was and really listening. It means doing something nice for her with no expectation of getting something in return—you know, the way you did when you were dating.

    It’s really obvious when you’re dealing with a genuinely nice person (as opposed to a phony nice person). Men like my barber and my editor at Fox, or even my own son (though at 17, I can’t call him a “man” just yet), ooze niceness. It comes so naturally to them! That makes them easy to love.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9da50fa3f901868fd1e3f282f6a5957dd46429a6a0a6d000a030d8522a9399c8.gif

    • OddMan

      GMTA

    • kaydenpat

      Interesting but Fox News would think it blasphemous to flip the sexes since to them women are the “weaker” sex.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Bad Boys, Bad Boys what you gonna do
    Drink bad beer and self abuse too

  • exinkwretch

    I thought they were supposed to answer the door naked except for a few turns of Saran Wrap.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I only asked for that the one time…you gonna hang that over my head forever?

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Ya but that one time you asked her to do it every day forever.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Well, if you’re gonna be nitpicky about it…

    • kaydenpat

      That’s more naughty than nice. Too much!

  • Mary Sandoras
  • maxneanderthal

    I’ve dated nice girls, and not-so-nice girls. On the whole, the not-so-nice were less nice. but more fun…if you get my drift..

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Yes. I know this. It is the story of my failed love life and marriage.

  • therblig

    it wouldn’t kill you gals to smile a little more, also too.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Problem is, women have been taught that being a nice or solicitous wife equates to servitude, as though a woman’s niceness automatically equates to being a mouse—whereupon her husband will walk all over her.

    Actually, I was taught that being nice is fine as long as one ins’t being taken advantage of and others are nice to me in return. I was also taught that it is nice to stand up for yourself when others are mistreating you. Thank God I had loving parents, as opposed to ones who thought my goal in life should be to be an obedient wife FFS.

  • Suttree

    I know who cooks the bacon. Then makes hash browns. And eggs over easy. I love my woman! Lizzietish!
    ETA: it is me!

  • Michael R
    • kaydenpat

      Too big. Needs to be flatter and much smaller. Women should be nice and not take up too much space. A careless man could trip on that.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    In other news, Suzanne Venker’s husband announced that he is seeking a divorce saying, “Fuck all this nice bullshit. I’m going to find me a real woman, one who farts and everything.”

    • msanthropesmr

      Women fart! That’s where butterflies come from.

    • DrBigHead

      When I was really beginning to feel comfortable with Ms. BigHead, I had one of my many childish moments and tried to belch the alphabet. Only made it to “D”. Without missing a beat, she picked it up and made it to “G”. We’ve been together 28 years.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        My beautiful, petite wife snores like a bear, much louder than I do. We’ve been together twenty years.

        • DrBigHead

          When you find the right person, you hold on like hell.

      • Eileen Besse

        Hahahahahahahah! Sounds like my kind of marriage….

  • arglebargle

    All I wanna know is where’s my sammich.

  • Lulu Mac
    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      Never hotter.

  • Claire

    OT: Here’s an interesting tweetstorm about the GOP and shame, and why they can’t afford to break with Donald Trump. I don’t think I buy it when it comes to GOP politicians, because it is not possible to be an elected Republican without being grifty as fuck, but it strikes me as pretty insightful when applied to some of Trump’s voters.

    https://twitter.com/i/moments/862357729381363716

  • jodyleek

    So, her mentor was her dear, deluded, I mean, departed aunt Syphilis Shaftly. I mean Gonorrhea Slaply. Anyway, I don’t exactly equate Phyllis with being “nice”. Pretty sure the family members she had a falling out with before she died didn’t think she was nice either. Suzanne dear, take your do as I say not as I do faux Xtian bullshit and shove it sideways up your nice twat.

  • msanthropesmr
  • Treg Brown

    Oh sure it’s OT, but this is my first break in 5 hours:

    https://twitter.com/ericgarland/status/862748971428610049

    • Nounverb911

      Ted Cruz too, still, also.

    • kaydenpat

      Why isn’t McConnell on there?

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Majority Leader isn’t a Constitutionally-named office.

    • arglebargle

      We’re gonna need a bigger impeachment.

    • Mavenmaven

      This is like the upgrade list for first class at the airport. Ben Carson is probably thinking, hmm, might still have a chance!

    • The Wanderer

      This list reads like the menu at a shitty restaurant – not much there and nothing you’d like.

      • Lulu Mac

        Meh, I could choke down some Mattis.

        Wait…not like that…GET YER MINDS OUTTA THE GUTTER…

        • The Wanderer

          I understand. (pats consolingly)

      • Major_Major_Major

        Not super hungry, but I guess I will take #6.

        • The Wanderer

          With #6, you get boot to the head!

    • Boscoe

      Maybe my brain is broken, but for some reason Ryan/Hatch actually scares me more than Trump/Pence…

      • Treg Brown

        Trump has no brain. Ryan has no soul. I get why you’re afraid.

  • NastyBossetti

    Oh, man, I really wish society had told me all the time for my entire fucking life that I should be soft and gentle and nice so that boys would like me! This is such a shocking bit of advice for someone to offer to women!

    • TakingAmes

      I know. Boys seem to like me just fine, and I am not what one might describe as “nice.” Smart? Yes. Funny? Yes. Pushy? Also yes. Not willing to take shit from anybody? Yes, also too. If I weren’t married to the love of my life and getting laid on the regular, I’d have no trouble at all getting laid by others. I’m not too worried about being “nice.”

  • Nounverb911

    I read on the internets that Fox is getting ready to hire this… um… woman of odd principles.
    https://twitter.com/apurposefulwife/status/862508184484884480

    • proudgrampa

      Wut?

      • Nounverb911

        Exactly!

    • HazooToo

      … Her purpose is having white babies. Lots of white babies. That is literally it.

  • Mavenmaven

    A bit of useful etymology, in which this Fox op ed makes more sense: the word “nice” is derived from the Middle English word “stupid”: Middle English (in the sense ‘stupid’): from Old French, from Latin nescius ‘ignorant’, from nescire ‘not know’. http://www.oed.com/viewdictionaryentry/Entry/126732;jsessionid=C2E4682B8CF9665B3CFC2297EFBDB81D?print

  • HoldonKaitlaninEncinitas
  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • proudgrampa

      Must be…

    • Nounverb911

      Sooner or later everything will be.

  • theblackdog

    I have to wonder, does Suzanne “ooze niceness” as well, or is her “niceness oozing” hairdresser telling her colleagues how nasty she is as a customer?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      She should see a doctor about that.

  • kaydenpat

    I guess Trump’s exes weren’t “nice” enough for him and that’s why he kicked them to the curb for a younger “nicer” model. Ditto Newt Gingrich whose wife was so not nice that he had to divorce her on her deathbed. Sad.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Their exes had broken pickers.

  • Michael R
    • Eileen Besse

      EDITH libelz!

  • canes_pugnaces

    My dog just wants to chase apples, and I just want to throw them. Isn’t that enough? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5c21530321f14582123f4a08850fe6e047fde4c29f96592f2c86db35912c8ae1.jpg

    • MynameisBlarney

      That is a fucking gorgeous doggo.

      • honeywest

        Catahoula? Love this doggie!

        • canes_pugnaces

          No catahoula => She’s GS/Red Wolf/some aussie something or other/some houndish… basically a New York City Shepherd (aka: mutt). She can jump 5ft from a sit.

    • boyblue122

      German Shepard, Aussie Shepard mix?

      • canes_pugnaces

        She’s GS/Red Wolf/some aussie something or other/some houndish… basically a New York Shepherd (aka: mutt)/.

    • arglebargle

      “The better to hear you with, my dear.”

    • Parakeetist

      Arf.

  • Nounverb911
    • Lulu Mac

      Want.

      • BearGHAZI

        I’m a penis -haver but I would also like this shirt

      • Nounverb911

        Amazon has it.

    • Serolf Divad

      OMFG, that’s amazing! Why haven’t I seen that before?

  • JMP

    And most women want men who are nice to them, yet the media isn’t filled with idiotic stories giving this “advice” to men which stupidly conflates “nice” with “submissive”.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Well, isn’t she nice.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Bless her heart, even

  • MynameisBlarney

    I dunno…

    I kinda like womerns whats feisty.

  • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl
    • empf

      Yes!

  • OddMan

    How does this sound?

    “At the end of the day, most women just want a man who’s nice. “Nice,” to a woman, means being soft, gentle and kind. It means asking your wife how her day was and really listening. It means doing something nice for her with no expectation of getting something in return—you know, the way you did when you were dating.”

    “Problem is, men have been taught that being a nice or solicitous husband equates to servitude, as though a man’s niceness automatically equates to being a mouse—whereupon her wife will walk all over him.”

    Hmmm.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Ugh…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    OK, I’ll take one for the team and click on the link:

    Problem is, women have been taught that being a nice or solicitous wife equates to servitude, as though a woman’s niceness automatically equates to being a mouse—whereupon her husband will walk all over her.

    That’s not how it works. Most husbands have no desire to lord over their wives, but they don’t want to fight with them either. All they want is peace.

    And the nicer you are, the more likely they are to find it.

    Most men don’t want to be bullies, so be nice to them if you don’t wan’t trouble!!!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/62443458defa7afabfda36dd8b989c857a54d6dad1a4cf2e3432d1f20c7190ce.gif

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      Ever had 2 of these fly over you? They are *really* loud, awesomely loud.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Fucking pieces of shit fly over my beach all the time.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

          I had 2 pass over me in Rotary-wing Mode walking home a couple of weeks ago. I couldn’t hear anything but their downbeat.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            The downbeat is what makes them so useless. They can’t be used for rescues.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            That was SMRT planning on the USMC & USAF’s parts, then. Geez Louise.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Can you say BOONDOGGLE?

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            I think you might be being generous in this assessment.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Anna, I’m already struggling here. Between the news and another flirtation gone south, I’m ready for my next pill. Don’t make me think about this motherfucking piece of shit. Please.

          • Shanzgood

            (((Hugs)))

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Thanks, Shan. I have to learn how to flirt better, I guess. Eventually my heart catches fire and then I have to say something and then they say oh, I was only kidding. So fucking sick of this I am out of words.

          • Shanzgood

            I’m sorry. I don’t do it right, either, so I don’t have any advice.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Thanks. It’s just nice to commiserate. It will pass. It always does. And the news is refreshing my soul today bigly! Yay news!

  • elviouslyqueer

    They prefer this, reportedly, rather than beating them repeatedly over the head with a frying pan and telling them that they have a very small penis, as those feminists are always suggesting.

    Mmm hmmm.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f89d118c7fecc199e0edd3ee9b38a4d7a88a49b4d411369ab32d6c539b4a1209.jpg

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      Male – “I *know* what you’re looking at.”

      Female – “I wish *I* knew what I was looking at! The last thing i saw like that was holding a tomato on my sandwich.”

    • MynameisBlarney

      So..he was in the pool, right?
      LOL

      • elviouslyqueer

        It was COLD that day.

    • The Wanderer

      I think she’s discovered his ‘shortcoming.’

  • Red Bird Ω

    TL:DR

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    I can remember one woman I could have gotten closer to if I’d been a little rougher and gruffer. But frankly, the giant burning skull tattoo between her tits didn’t do that much for me.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      But, that was during the campaign. It doesn’t count anymore!

    • Boscoe

      The irony runs deep with conservatives…

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        It’s almost as if their past selves are determined to fuck their future ones.

  • wait! what?
  • empf

    Gonna quote my favorite sci fi female:
    “oh. I’m not good at nice.” And she ended up with the handsome hero anyway.

  • Michael R

    The sweetest kittens have the sharpest claws

    https://s13.postimg.org/y2d0mgfg7/faster_pussycat.gif

    • Skeptical_thinker

      I’ll be in my bunk.

  • Suttree

    My bed now resides, moose, mouse, lobstah , and spacepig.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Oh, but some of the comments in the FOX link are great:

    Heeheehee! Fox giving *relationship* advise! Perhaps they should have offered some to O’reilly, it would probably have been a lot cheaper for them in the long run ; )
    ——-
    HOLY MOTHER OF …. Did someone transport this woman here from the Stone Age? Personally, I just want a man that doesn’t need to be mollycoddled and stroked constantly, and knows how to be a decent human being without being flattered and manipulated.
    ——–
    Is there any actual factual data substantiating this piece? Has the author even left her home since 1950?

    Zing!

    PS: Don’t read the other comments there FFS.

    • Lulu Mac

      NEVER. READ. THE. COMMENTS.

      • arglebargle

        That’s why they’re not allowed on the Wonkette

    • elviouslyqueer

      Most men liked to be stroked constantly. IJS.

      What?

  • Internet Hitler

    She seems nice.

  • BearGHAZI

    What a gruff article. She should really tone it down if she wants a husband.

  • Oblios_Cap

    No advice for men? How am I supposed to know how to act?

    • therblig

      take the red pill

      • elviouslyqueer

        And don’t eat the yellow snow. Or take the brown acid.

    • Crystalclear12

      Your female overlord will let you know.

  • The Wanderer

    Apparently Ms. Venker would like someone like Henry Higgins:
    HIGGINS. It’s all you’ll get until you stop being a common idiot.
    If you’re going to be a lady, you’ll have to give up feeling
    neglected if the men you know don’t spend half their time
    snivelling over you and the other half giving you black eyes. If
    you can’t stand the coldness of my sort of life, and the strain
    of it, go back to the gutter. Work til you are more a brute than
    a human being; and then cuddle and squabble and drink til you
    fall asleep. Oh, it’s a fine life, the life of the gutter. It’s
    real: it’s warm: it’s violent: you can feel it through the
    thickest skin: you can taste it and smell it without any training
    or any work. Not like Science and Literature and Classical Music
    and Philosophy and Art. You find me cold, unfeeling, selfish,
    don’t you? Very well: be off with you to the sort of people you
    like. Marry some sentimental hog or other with lots of money, and
    a thick pair of lips to kiss you with and a thick pair of boots
    to kick you with. If you can’t appreciate what you’ve got, you’d
    better get what you can appreciate.

    Pygmalion, George Bernard Shaw

    • Thiazin Red

      I hated the end of My Fair Lady. Higgins was such an unbelievable dick to her the entire time, and there was that awesome other guy who was also way better looking.

  • C4TWOMAN


    and he’ll likely give you example after example of women they know who said they wanted a nice guy but in reality wanted a bad boy.

    Sigh. Okay, listen very carefully people who need to listen to this:

    The ONLY reason a girl/woman is attracted to “bad boys” is she’s out of touch with her own power/virility, her inner “badness”, and is trying to get in touch with it through someone else. Which is always unhealthy/doing it wrong.

    This isn’t counting just having a fling for funnsies ; this is mistaking a “bad boy” for relationship material. Any woman in touch with her own physical power and virility doesn’t even consider needing a dangerous, brooding man-boy.

    In other words, the solution is MORE feminism, not less.

    And, frankly, these women have done men a favour by telling them they’re not ready for a functional relationship and the men who are should just go find a woman who is. Not whine or project that ALL women are that way.

    Jesus. H. Christ.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Can be crossed wires.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Never cross wires!

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Or streams.

    • jesterpunk

      It is also that friendzone BS excuse for the loser MRA idiots to excuse why no one likes them.

      • jowgajen

        But but she has a vagina and it’s not right that she won’t share.

        • jesterpunk

          You know if they didnt run right out and call anyone who had sex with them a slut for sleeping with them that might help a little too.

        • Michael Smith

          Its like Vito Corleone in the Godfather with all his connections. The 5 heads of the other 5 families were in the organized crime friendzone!

        • Fancy Meau-Faux

          I’ve found that many ladies are willing to share if you are not a jerk.

      • C4TWOMAN

        “Psst…it’s because you’re an ASSHOLE.”

        The truth is even other men with lives can’t stand them.

        • jesterpunk

          “If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an
          asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole.”

          • C4TWOMAN

            I first heard that in the SCA. After a war many fighters are so wound up, high on adrenaline, and damn if you don’t run into jerk after jerk after jerk…

            “If you run into three assholes in a row, it’s YOU”.
            =^-^=

          • Fancy Meau-Faux

            I have been known to say this to people. It’s usually not something they want to hear.

  • HazooToo
  • hanadora444

    I would imagine, on the whole, people prefer people who are nice to them. Not exactly news. But the Fox report implies that women had damn well better be nice to men while men can be as crappy as they want.

  • I like strong women. I like women who challenge me. I love women who are as smart or smarter than me, hell, I married one of the latter ones. Don’t know how I got that lucky.
    We’re friends. Best friends. And we’re equals in this partnership.

    If I wanted a Stepford wife, I’d have just ordered a sexbot and been done with it.

    • OddMan

      You got that right, a smart defence attorney fell in love with me and I thank my lucky stars everyday.
      I don’t win many arguments, but I am a lot better.

    • BeachBum

      Sexbot? Asking for a friend .

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Nice girls go to heaven.
    Nasty girls go everywhere.

  • Chadwells

    OT: No shit, dude….you were just tucking your junk between your legs and asking for immunity.

    “Giuliani: ‘I’m not gonna be FBI director’”

    http://thehill.com/policy/national-security/fbi/332996-giuliani-im-not-gonna-be-fbi-director

    • Major_Major_Major

      Thank fuck for small miracles.

  • OddMan

    OT as hell but, odd.
    This one sentence from this morning’s 202 caught my eye.
    Paul Ryan.
    “The congressman from Wisconsin sniffed a canister of walleye bait that gets packaged at the facility. “I spray my lures,” he explained to his tour guide.

    Okayyyy. I’ve got bass spray in my tackle box but I don’t go braggin about it.

  • honeywest

    Oh GAWD. Phyllis Schlafly is dead and wrapped in saran wrap walking around in hell. These idiot women make me embarrassed I have a vagina. You know what else men like? Men like SMART women who blow them. Work on that.

    • arglebargle

      Yes. Yes we do.

    • Zombishroom

      I totally forgot she was dead. It’s one thing the grim reaper got right in 2016.

    • TJ Barke

      Go on…

    • Shanzgood

      You mean smart women who LIKE blowing them.

  • BearGHAZI

    Mayhaps, though ’tis said that a womanly smile oft hides a wanton’s heart

  • MynameisBlarney
    • BearGHAZI

      She’s very ornately dressed, for a brutal whipping

      • MynameisBlarney

        She’s one of the “nice” dommes.

      • MynameisBlarney

        In all seriousness…
        I think most of the bondage gear looks ridiculous.
        I guess some folks need all that crap, knock yourself out.
        As for me though, if I’m the mood for a little whippin action, I could care less what they’re wearing.

    • TakingAmes

      She looks like Bebe Neuwirth. By which I mean awesome and terrifying at the same time.

  • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

    Nice, well behaved women rarely make history. It’s the nasty ones that make the most difference. Sorry if you quivering man-children can’t handle it, put on your big boy undies and deal with it.

    That is all.

    • BearGHAZI

      And if some men need help with the undies????

    • MynameisBlarney

      But….but…

      Sammiches?

  • boyblue122

    “It’s really obvious when you’re dealing with a genuinely nice person (as opposed to a phony nice person). Women like my hair stylist and my editor at Fox”

    Had to find a way to suck up to Fox on a Fox show, eh

  • Chadwells

    I’m gun shy to say anything about this post.

    I just spent the month of March listening to my wife run around saying she’s too fat to fit into her wedding dress. A week after the wedding, she asks me “have I gained weight?”…to which I replied “According to you, yes.”

    I’m sure you can all imagine how THAT worked out for me!!! I just got my bed privileges back.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Wow, never do that, man.

      • Chadwells

        I know…and I knew it then. I’m an idiot.

        • Shanzgood

          She didn’t want to know whether you thought she’d gained weight, dummy. Play dumb next time and then immediately bone her stupid.

          • Chadwells

            I know!!!! HAHA!

          • Shanzgood

            You should talk to baconz. His response to “does this make my ass look fat?” would be “No, your ASS makes your ass look fat! Now come here with that beautiful fat ass so I can grab a handful!”

            NOW I WISH I HAD A FAT ASS!!!

          • Chadwells

            Niiice!

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          I’ve been there and I’ll go there again. Stupid just falls out of my mouth.

          • Chadwells

            Exactly!

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            I have no idea why they put up with us. I wouldn’t take a fraction of the shit they do.

  • SomeBigRedDog

    Lots of people call me a bitch. Even my doctor.

  • Roadstergal

    I blame the ‘women don’t like nice guys’ meme on the burden placed on women to let guys down easily. “You’re a nice guy, it’s just not working out.”

    Let’s quit that shit and just say “It’s not working out” and/or “I’m dumping you.”

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      I’m in.

    • jesterpunk

      But the movies like Twilight show if you just stalk the person enough they will fall in love with you. Some morons think that kind of stuff is real.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Let us not forget the General Hospital standard of if you get raped, you will fall in love with the guy and eventually marry him. Laura, you stupid cunt.

        • jesterpunk

          My wife watches that show, I have no idea how or why. It just seems like a huge show about Stockholm syndrome and a little bit of Jerry Springer thrown in for fun.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Minus the fun. My Gran watched all of them.
            I decided to go fishing with Grandad.

        • Octavia Bratenpfeffer

          Getting back to biblical values…

      • C4TWOMAN
        • Shanzgood

          HAHAHA!

    • MynameisBlarney

      That’s too easy!
      It’ll never work!

    • BearGHAZI

      Honesty is the best policy, unless your cancer ridden child asks if she’ll see you in heaven. Then you can lie.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      When I was dating, had a lot of partners say “it’s not working out” to me. Always hated “nice” and never took “nice” as any kind of compliment.

      “Nice” is the vanilla of human description.

      Not ironically, I was invited to the weddings of all those partners who said “it’s not working out.” I’m still good friends with them, we just couldn’t be in a relationship. Imagine the horror of being put in “the friend zone” (cue sinister music).

      • Shanzgood

        I used “Why are you here?” once.

        • Oblios_Cap

          “How can I miss you if you won’t go away?”

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

          XD

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          LMFAO! That’s a great one!

          • Shanzgood

            I guess I’m not “nice” after all.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Not “nice” is just great. Ask baconz, I’m sure he’d agree with me.

          • Shanzgood

            He doesn’t call me Stroppy for nothing.

      • C4TWOMAN

        It’s so stupid. What exactly is wrong with these people they can’t just say “It’s not working”? Is it an MRA version of the immature girl who thinks if she loses a boyfriend she’s lost her chance at happiness FOREVER?

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          I think it’s a weird version of “cushioning the blow”, a principle that has long since been debunked. But what do I know? Not like they’re putting me on TV or anything.

  • Manders

    Damnit, if my eyes keep rolling this hard every day, I’m going to have to start physical therapy.

    • snigsy

      I worry that my eyes will soon be permanently crossed.

  • Skeptical_thinker

    Ms. Thinker is a smart, well educated, successful in several careers and nice. Why do these misogynists think being a whole human being and being nice are mutually exclusive?

  • HogeyeGrex

    Fox “We’re the Screamiest!” and/or “Shivving our political opponents in the back is our style!” News talking about being nice.

    Irony has finally decided to plunge head first into the sun.

  • Chadwells

    OT: Corrine Brown Found Guilty of Fraud and Fox News is jizzing all over each other.

    • TJ Barke

      Who?

      • Chadwells

        Dem senator or some shit.

        • Major_Major_Major

          Rep from the Orlando area, IIRC

          • Oblios_Cap

            We all knew she was a crook. They redrew the election map because of gerrymandering of the FGOP, and her “safe” district got chopped up. All she did was bitch about how it was unfair to her. Not that gerrymandering was unfair to the voters of the state, though.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Former Florida Senator. All told the amounts were less than a single Fox harassment lawsuit.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Well duh. With minor exceptions, everyone likes nice people. Will Suzanne Venker be exploring how water is wet in her next think-piece?

    • C4TWOMAN

      “Next up: Is the Sky Blue or is it just some conspiracy of light hitting atmospheric molecules?”

  • anwisok

    So, they think Grease is an instructional video?

    • wait! what?

      But it’s the word…

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      “Did she put up a fight??”

      • Roadstergal

        “That’s a creepy question, Kenickie, but not as creepy as you being a 35-year-old in high school.”

        • wait! what?

          No worries, Rizzo was 34…

  • CindyinEncinitas
    • Shanzgood

      Hi, Cindy!

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Hi Shan! My god, I am so happy for you I could cry. Wait, I just did.

    • grindstone

      Want want want want want.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        It’s online. Cafe press or something.

  • Chadwells

    OT: LOLOL!!! These maroons have just given up.They aren’t even trying anymore. Guess they didn’t see the Holt interview. Sad.

    “White House on Comey: Our story is consistent”

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/333000-white-house-on-comey-our-story-is-consistent

    • The Wanderer

      “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.”

    • Roadstergal

      They sent me a certified letter telling me their story is consistent.

    • jesterpunk

      Well they are right, their stories are consistently bullshit. They just left off the last word by mistake.

  • Nockular cavity

    Yes! By all means, always…

    “Be nice.”
    “What if somebody calls my mama a whore?”
    “I don’t know. Is she?”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTh5JzRziHE

  • TJ Barke

    Nice ladies usually seem condescending to me…

    • Certified Green Bastard

      How abt a gal who gives you dirty looks while she tries to perch her bewbs on your arm?

      • TJ Barke

        No idea…

      • MynameisBlarney

        *raise eyebrow*

        Go on.

      • Shanzgood

        Maybe she just lost track of them.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Sounds like Michelle Fiore…

      • Oblios_Cap

        sounds interesting…

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      There’s a certain kind of “nice” I admire- the kind of nice that can cut a boor to ribbons with a polite phrase or two.
      Better when everyone in the room knows the boor has been dissed, but the boor themselves is oblivious.

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      Yes. I don’t trust that kind of nice. You never know how they really feel.

  • Moebym Reborn

    I get this from my own parents. They insist that I smile and act cheerful all the time, because everyone likes a nice girl.

    They also insist that if I’m thinner and have a cheerful personality, guys will form a line behind me, calling my name.

    Granted, they also want me to be confident and assertive, but I feel that it’s difficult to gain confidence if I’m often hiding my true emotions just so I can please others.

    • Roadstergal

      “guys will form a line behind me, calling my name”

      Holy fuck, that’s disturbing. I’m reminded of Higgins describing the bodies of men killing each other for her to Dolittle, and her appropriate horror.

      I have a good job and money that lets me buy motorcycles and good booze. I don’t need lines of guys yelling my name.

      • TJ Barke

        Motorcycles plural?

        • Roadstergal

          Yup. I have a streetbike, a track bike, a minimoto race bike, a supermoto, a flat-tracker, a 2T MXer, and a scooter.

          Now imagine how many more I’d have if I were Nice To Guys!

          • MynameisBlarney

            One?

            Two?

      • Steve Cole

        1995 Kawasaki gpz1000rx, no tattoos. How am I doing?

        • Roadstergal

          If you’re happy with it, you’re doing fine. :)

      • DrBigHead

        I’d be more inclined to line up behind a motorcycle-riding woman who appreciates good liquor….

  • Shanzgood
    • MizzMazz

      I won’t even clean with that shit anymore, and to think women used it to douche?

      • Shanzgood

        Also for birth control.

        • MizzMazz

          I once read girls would use coca-cola too. Shake up the bottle and put it in. Dunno if that was real or an urban legend. Boardwalk Empire had a scene with the Lysol thing. Made me clench.

          • Skeptical_thinker

            Coca-Cola story is true. Not that I was involved personally but I knew of its use.

          • Shanzgood

            Great way to get an embolism. Jeez.

          • Shanzgood

            Also supposedly used to go pee after sex and hold their labia shut to force it into the vagina as an impromptu douche.

            Goddess bless Margaret Sanger and the rest.

          • MizzMazz

            I pee after sex, or I get a nasty UTI, but the thought of forcing pee into my vagina? Ugh! as much as I like the music and clothes of bygone ages, I am glad to be living now, despite the shit we’re in.

          • Shanzgood

            I stopped getting UTIs when I quit using scented clothes detergent, dryer sheets, scented bubble bath, oils or soaps. And no getting touched by the body parts of anyone who’s got any residue of any of that on them. My XH was terrible for not rinsing himself properly and I got so many UTIs that were so bad I would pee blood and cry from the pain. Since I fixed all that, I haven’t had a single UTI in years.

    • chortlingdingo

      I like how they defined inhibitions in a parenthetical just in case those silly women didn’t know what it meant.

      • Michael Smith

        Haha you beat me to it.

        I can just see the guys sitting at a meeting:

        “Jim, I don’t think you should use the word inhibitions. The ladies aren’t going to know what that means. I mean I had to send my interns scrambling all over for two hour to figure it out myself.”

        “It means doubts, Chris. Doubts.”

        “Well I have inhibitions over its inclusion in this ad. Can we come up with some kind of compromise?”

    • Michael Smith

      Lol thanks, advertisement, for the clarification as to what “inhibitions” means.

  • Shibusa

    https://twitter.com/SarahHuckabee/status/794255968448020480
    Sarah Huckabee seems…”Nice”. (Note the date on the tweet.)

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    Nice. That kind of nice is why the phrase “Mothers little helper” was invented- referring to tranquilizers, not sex toys or bladed weapons.

    • wait! what?

      A tranquilizer that’s a sex toy AND a bladed weapon?

      Tell me more…

      • Rasilom

        Switchbladed vibrating ludes baby!

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        And a dessert topping and a floor wax. It slices, it dices. . .

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      “Anna’s Little Helper” is a reproduction V42 Combat Dagger, as issued to the First Special Service Force in World War 2.

      It had a thumb-grip on the blade to aid in turning Nazis into rag-dolls.

  • Michael R
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      “What do men want? Men want a mattress that cooks.”

      • Skeptical_thinker

        I have been married three times, 19 years, 16 years and almost one. I have been the cook in all of them. I like to cook and I’m good at it.

        In bed, I want a partner, not a receptacle.

    • Shanzgood

      God, I loved her!

    • CindyinEncinitas

      This. For sure.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    I don’t like “nice” women. I love my wife, she’s not “nice” and I love her for not being “nice”.

    She fixes the car. I can’t do shit with that, is just an example of what I’m saying here.

    She’s a fully realized human fucking being who just happens to have a vagina. She was a fully actualized human being long before I met her and will continue to be one long after I’m gone and I love the hell out of that.

    That’s why I married her. That’s why I stay married to her and that’s why I will love her until the day I die.

    So screw anyone telling me who or what I should love. Stick to what you know best, Faux News, stick to being rapists. It’s a good look for you.

  • susan_g

    Venker then explains that men like women who are “easy to love.”

    Like hookers.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba
    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Holy shit! If it were my book I would be crying after reading that review. Not nice is an understatement.

    • Michael R

      ” IVANKA TRUMP HAS WRITTEN a book about female empowerment, and it is about as feminist as a swastika-shaped bikini wax. “

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        My favorite line.

        • Michael R

          also see :

          ” Ivanka saw the trend for empowerment-flavoured pseudo-feminist punditry and wanted it, so she got her father to buy it for her “

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Her pearls must be clutched to a fine dust by now.

        • Shanzgood

          So that’s what Donnie is always sniffing.

    • Rasilom

      This is awsome!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      That review is gonna leave a mark.

      • MizzMazz

        Once again a white rich woman writes a self improvement/self help book for other rich white ladies just like her. Fuck off, Ivanka.

  • whitroth

    I was once married to a Nice Girl/Woman from VA. I’d vastly rather find a troublemaker….

    There are women of many descriptions

    In this queer world, as everyone knows.

    Some are living in beautiful mansions,

    And are wearing the finest of clothes.

    There are blue blooded queens and princesses,

    Who have charms made of diamonds and pearl;

    But the only and thoroughbred lady

    Is the Rebel Girl.
    – Joe Hill (yes, the *original*, the Wobbly)

    • SisterArtemis

      Hey, I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night, alive as you and me….

      • whitroth

        I kid you not: I leaned Joe Hill on my father’s knee, literally.

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    There’s a certain type of woman-hating but technically heterosexual man–the kind of man Germaine Greer was talking about when she said, “Women have very little idea of how much men hate them”– who finds this kind of crap attractive because it spares them the moral burden of expressing their own contempt for women.

    “It’s not me saying this,” they shrug, “it’s Suzanne Venker.” Then they can go into their whole frat-boy routine about how all the hot chicks are conservative, but liberal chicks are ugly, or whatever.

    Gah. Fascists can’t even come up with fascinating new ways to be fascist, they just keep serving up the same old crap-sandwich reheated on day-old bread.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack
    • Oblios_Cap

      He is a Republican.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        I know, just. . . I dunno.

    • DrBigHead

      Its bad enough we live in a country with capital punishment. Why do these bastards have to act like they enjoy it so much?

  • Poly_Ester

    I thought real men (MRAs) choose who they want to marry, end of discussion.

    • Certified Green Bastard

      Well, there’s more n more fuss being kicked up abt clubbin wimmin n draggin em back to the cave.

      Times are tough for knuckle-draggers.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Kidnapping/rape laws being what they are, they don’t want to go to prison.
      What a bunch of cucks.

    • clubseal

      Only after the coming apocalypse makes them shit themselves in terror kills off all the stronger men and leaves a power vacuum for them to build their harems of oh Jesus Christ I can’t even type it with a straight face.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Yes, who the fuck cares what these baby factories think?

  • Hemp Dogbane

    “To the moon, Alice. To the moon!”

  • Back when I was a younger, long haired, ripped jeaned, flannel lumberjacket wearin’ lad, the ladies would be interested in me ’cause they were angry at their parents… Jokes on them, though, parents LOVED me!

    • C4TWOMAN

      “Oh thank god!” they said. “He’s really a nice guy!”

  • Michael Smith

    Well, we all like nice people. I’m nice to people and they usually seem to appreciate it. And I’m a man! I’m not even supposed to be nice, apparently. But being “nice” comes natural to me.

    In the past, I tried to be mean and gruff because, having been inundated with gender-role-specific garbage like that quoted above, I thought it would impress The Ladies. However, since that wasn’t my natural disposition, it just came across as fake and ridiculous.

    I’ve found that those “bad boys” who are less forthcoming with niceness but nevertheless are able to attract The Ladies, aren’t attractive because they are mean (they aren’t really mean, just a bit more reserved than a guy like myself), but because they are being themselves and project confidence in their own personality.

    Guy that are actually mean and nasty are, like women of the same temperament, only attractive to people with low self-esteem, which tends to create a mutually hostile relationship, which is undesirable anyway as I see it.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Good comment. Sounds like a testimonial:

      “And that’s why we here at Nice Guys But Not Creepy Jerks(NGBNCJ) believe than men can be nice too!”

      • MynameisBlarney

        “For just 3 easy payments of $99.99 you’ll get the tutorial DVD’s AND the NGBNCJ hoody and inspirational poster!”

        “Act now, and we’ll throw in a second set for only $19.99!”

        • C4TWOMAN

          You know, some people NEED those tutorials. Heck, I’d pay for them myself if I had the extra cash….

          • MynameisBlarney

            Some though…are gonna need more…creative encouragement.

            Like a summer camp for chauvinist douchehammers run by Amazon Femdoms, lol.

          • clubseal

            I could make one for free. It would be the words “Don’t be a dick” with soft elevator music playing. Maybe pictures of raccoons showing in the background.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I am in accord with this non-comment.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Also, too; I’ve noticed over the years that a lot of women my male friends and co-workers would refer to as a “bitch” tend to be bit nicer to me.
      Not sure why, but maybe it’s because I’m not a misogynist asshole that thinks women are only good for one thing.

      • Michael Smith

        Totally! I think that people recognize when you are treating them like a person rather than a nasty little creature with a vagina that she refuses to share.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Do unto others, etc.

          • Michael Smith

            And when I was young and impressionable, those kinds of guys would make fun of me for it. The girl who is a bitch to everyone because she’s hard to get is nice to me, because she can tell I’m not going to try and have sex with her. This was called the friend zone!

            It used to bother me, like what is the matter with me? Why can’t I be mean to girls and have them be defensive around me like a regular guy? Thus the pretending to be mean and gruff (which, if you know how I really am, is comically misguided). When that didn’t work out, I realized I had been duped into stressing the hell out over aspects of my personality that were completely normal and fine. And I’ve never looked back.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Before I ever heard “Friend Zone” it didn’t matter to me if a girl just wanted to be friends, it only bothered me when the bullies would call me names over it.

          • Roadstergal

            Ah yes, the evil concept of the ‘friend zone.’ Like there’s nothing more useless out of a woman than friendship. If you’re not putting your dick in her, she’s not worth your time.

      • clubseal

        What is that one thing? Curly didn’t help.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Makin’ sammiches.?

  • Lance Thrustwell

    It’s nice to be nice to the nice.

    • SisterArtemis

      I gonna get that on a tee shirt

  • Certified Green Bastard

    I’m​ a bitch, NO RAGRETS.

    Salt n Pepa helped me out early:
    https://youtu.be/na3u8S9tF9o

  • clubseal

    “Not because I smell like soup …”
    Well, ease up here. If I were dating a woman who smelled like clam chowder, I’d be pretty stoked. Very calming, it would be.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      I smell like soup right now, because I’ve spent the day making soup. Lady jack’s favorite, buffalo soup. Not as awful as it sounds. Soon, she will join me in the bliss of smelling like soup.

      • clubseal

        Buffalo soup sounds pretty great to me. [Kevin Costner tatanka gif]

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          It’s really good. Leftover Chicken, some heavy cream, a bit of blue cheese, buffalo sauce simmered all day in a crock pot on low until the chicken practically disintegrates. It’s the Tahiti of soups.

          • clubseal

            That sounds delicious. Although I had first thought it was soup using buffalo meat. Which I have used to make spaghetti and meatballs before, to delicious effect.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            I wish we could get buffalo meat here. The only game meats we can get here are all seafood. I know, I live on the Gulf Coast, in walking distance from a clean beach and I’m suffering over it.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I wouldn’t mind smelling like chicken noodle. I hope I don’t smell like cabbage soup, or at least not often.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        I like the smell of cabbage soup. Not for nothing, of course.

    • snigsy

      Kilgore Trout smelled of Irish stew. Just sayin’,

  • Rasilom

    My GF is an amazingly tallented person. Keyword here is person as in self actualized human being. She has a career, is active in her church, cooks meals that she buys all of the supplies for at the homeless shelter (Are you kidding yes I help with this! A comercial kitchen to cook mass food un with no cleanup required? It is a dream!) She also speaks her mind. If something is bothering her she tells me and we talk about it. If she has a a rough couple of days and needs time to decompress with her fav TV shows and only the cat butts for company she says so. What I am saying is that to me she is a real person and has her own life that I am lucky to SHARE in. I don’t want it any other way. She takes care of her self, has before I met her and will after I am gone. The thought of being with a yes woman who is just hanging on my whim is just revolting. Stay strong ladies. You do you the way you want and need to. Any guy that aint down with that is not worth the time it takes to tell them to fuck off.

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      Oy, where were you 25 years ago? :D

      • Rasilom

        lol. In Alaska in my 20s .

  • BosGrl “Unmasked”

    I think there’s a difference between “kind” and “nice”. “Kind” means being careful of others’ feelings, which is always welcome. “Nice” is smiling on a cloudy day and trying to infect others, which can either be uplifting or annoying, depending on your mood. “Bad boys” can be kind without being nice. Women who speak up for themselves can be kind without being nice.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Jinx! Posted before I saw your quote appear. I think you’re right, btw.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Yeh, this whole conflation of “nice” with “kind, decent and good” is problematic.

      Nice is a tool of civil communication. It can be a sign of kindness and decency. Many kind and decent people either are nice or at least don’t go out of their way to be nasty. But kind decent people can also turn into tigers defending the vulnerable in a definitely not nice way.

      But being nice can be a tool of malice and manipulation. So without knowing motive, “nice” all by itself means nothing for than “wants to keep things pleasant on the surface”.

      • clubseal

        Nice ain’t just a town in France.

    • Roadstergal

      “You’re not good, you’re not bad, you’re just _nice_/I’m not good, I’m not nice, I’m just _right_…” -Witch

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Seriously, what women want from men, and in a man, is often contradictory and confusing – to themselves as well as to the men they’re dating (or won’t date). That’s absolutely true! But guess what – it’s true about men too! It’s called being human! We’re complicated creatures, and frankly, we don’t always work that great. Venker can post all the la-di-da retro thinkpieces she wants, it ain’t gonna iron out the wrinkles in our weird little species.

    I like Dok’s Vonnegut quote better: “Damnit, you’ve got to be kind.”

    • whitroth

      Simple answer: read Sir Gawain and the Green Knight (I recommend Tolkien’s translation). And that’s from the 15th Century.

      What she will, just like a common man….

  • rosenbomb

    Apparently whatsherface took this song to heart. Oh, who am I kidding? She wouldn’t listen to black women sing.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juqws1LIH-I

  • capnkrunch

    They prefer this, reportedly, rather than beating them repeatedly over
    the head with a frying pan and telling them that they have a very small
    penis, as those feminists are always suggesting.

    Though there are those who prefer the latter.

    #NotAllMen

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    HOLT: Monday you met with the deputy attorney general, Rod Rosenstein–

    TRUMP: Right.

    HOLT: Did you ask for a recommendation [on Comey]?

    TRUMP: What I did is, I was going to fire [Comey]. My decision, it was not–

    HOLT: You had made the decision before they came in the room.

    TRUMP: I was going to fire Comey.

    When the NBC anchor noted the White House’s written claim about the
    recommendations from the Justice Department, Trump couldn’t have been
    clearer about his intentions.

    “Oh, I was gonna fire regardless of [the] recommendation,” the president said.

    In
    other words, according to Trump himself, what the Trump White House
    told the public wasn’t true. The entire narrative created by the West
    Wing has been discredited by the person the narrative was intended to
    protect.

    http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/trump-contradicts-his-own-white-house-team-comey-firing?cid=sm_fb_maddow

    • OneWhiteWhisker

      “I’m in charge! Me! I am! All my idea, everything! Me, me, MEEEE! IT IS ALL MY DOING AND MY IDEAS AND THOUGHTS NOBODY ELSE’S! PRIME THE PUUUUMP!!!”

    • SeeTrain65

      Our “president.”

      CLUE … LESS.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Hey, remember how much fun Andrea Tartaros thought being objectified was until it wasn’t any more?

  • snigsy

    Every time I’m reminded that I earn about 77% of what my male colleagues earn, I will try to remember to be nice. I’m sure that will close the wage gap. Heck, I’m sure that female niceness will also close the world-wide literacy gap. And female poverty! This is such a novel idea.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Yeah, just be nicer and that glass ceiling will come shattering down under the weight of nice.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Smile, sweetheart!

  • cats530

    It’s amusing how Suzanne Venker considers herself an expert on everyone else’s relationship, when the only thing she knows is her own.

  • cats530

    I wonder how much money is involved in telling the manosphere and the religious right what they want to hear? I thought both groups were rather miserly, but apparently Suzanne is able to wring out enough from them that she keeps on promoting this tripe.

  • Bigby
  • I prefer Nasty Women.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      They persist.

    • snigsy

      What are you doing tonight?

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    That’s a very original take on human relationships. Very original.

  • Greyhame

    Soup Boy, you fool! You were SO nice to her, that it drove her into the arms of that obviously cruel, insensitive guy who does all the interesting and adventurous things in life! But clearly m’lady is only into it because women prefer jerks and bad boys who could never possibly treat them with the kind of respect that Soup Boy would provide.

  • Incoming Ham
    • Shanzgood

      I’ve seen a whole series of ads like that and am, unfortunately, old enough to remember seeing some like them in my childhood.

      • Incoming Ham

        Me too. That lovely three martini lunch, bring me pipe and slippers and dinner damn well better be on the table when I get home era

        http://aintviral.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/trainyourwife_vintage_sexist_ads.jpg

      • Incoming Ham
        • Shanzgood

          I worked with a paraplegic veteran who had a service dog who could do more than that.

          • Incoming Ham

            Between these ads and the creepy Love’s Baby Soft ads, it’s no wonder my generation grew up confused.

          • Shanzgood

            WHich generation?

          • Incoming Ham

            Gen X ish

          • Shanzgood

            That’s weird. I fall into that group statistally but don’t identify.

          • Dolmance

            It’s a service wife for guys with PTSD.

          • Shanzgood

            I think people with PTST are more self reliant.

        • Once&futureFred

          I wonder what the Mrs packs in that Hookah at the bottom left of the picture?

        • Dolmance

          She’s the perfect, all around wife and dog.

      • Yr. Gma

        It was standard Madison Ave.

    • Jtown

      Holy cow, that ad copy o_o “Though she was a tiger lady, our hero didn’t have to fire a shot to floor her. After one look at his Mr. Leggs slacks, she was ready to let him walk all over her.” gag

  • puredog

    I like women who are bad. But maybe that’s just me.

  • Doug Langley
  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Closeted baby dyke says what?

  • mardam422

    Nice, to me, means priming my pump. Have you heard that before? I haven’t. But just yesterday I thought, you know, priming the pump is something I’d like. Sometimes I just think of things.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    “That’s because just as most men are
    attracted to femininity, or softness, most women are attracted to
    masculinity. And masculinity is hard. Gruff. Take charge.”

    Ooo, that’s what I’m talkin’ about! Yeah, gruffly take charge of my furry gray equine butt, you bad boy! Use those hips! *pants heavily*

  • Most wussy men in my life love that I treat ’em like shit, but… different strokes for different gimps, y’know

  • Erick the Kracker

    Now that is the REAL vagenda of manocide.

  • Tiny kaiju

    Damn it! All this time I thought I didn’t get asked out in college was because I wouldn’t put out on the first date. I guess I should have been nicer and gotten some STD’s instead. Fuck this bitch with the Washington Monument and a porcupine on top.

  • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

    I, personally, prefer people NOT to ooze. Babies can ooze a little, ’cause its what babies do, but everyone else, please no oozing. Yuck.

  • Jacob Prescott

    I hear this opinion in articles all the time. “Women like jerky guys.” No, No they don’t. What women tend to like (and men for that matter) is confidence. Knowing who you are, what you want out of life, and knowing how to achieve your own goals. These are attractive traits in another person.

    Unfortunately, arrogance can often look a lot like confidence, especially when you are young. So I think the trope that “women date jerky guys” can be somewhat true at younger ages, but it isn’t the jerkish qualities that are key. That same jerk at 35 won’t be able to land a date if his life depended on it. The “nice” guys tend to be the wallflowers who never put themselves out there and think dates will one day just fall in to their lap.

    • That whole “women like jerks” thing is a cornerstone of the MRA/PUA crowd, they use it to excuse their dickishness. I’ve never seen it in other milieus.

      • Jacob Prescott

        While I am not going to take the time now to pull other articles (too lazy but a google search yields articles aplenty) as a proud member of all things nerdy, I have heard this byline countless times within those circles….which come to think of it does have a sizable representation of MRA Red Pill Alpha Wannabes. Either way the real point about confidence still stands…..maybe.

    • I would add that women learn early that men who are not really confident, even if they pretend to be, tend to be emotionally draining if not out right abusive. Can’t speak for men, but I would assume much the same.
      Not that everyone can be confident 24/7, but being needy 24/7 is a big red flag

    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      I actually think it’s two things:
      (1) Asshole men constantly try to explain away their failure with women by saying women “only like jerks.” In fact there’s a whole meme out there with pix of neckbearded assholes calling themselves “nice guys.” They think women don’t like them because women don’t like “nice guys” like them. In fact women really, really like nice guys. Just not assholes.
      (2) It is true that women sometimes go for “bad boys”–but that’s a pure sex thing. The whole “bad boy” concept actually just means “guy who is oozing sex.” It’s almost primal–women don’t actually like “bad boys.” No one was falling all over Jeffrey Dahmer or Jared what’s-his-name. Women like physically sexy guys–it’s pure primal lust.
      Also, you know with a “bad boy” that he will be just fine with your bad sexy self and you can be as uninhibited as you want and he’ll love it and come back for more. With a nice guy you’re worried he’ll judge you–and he often will, in many women’s experience, especially younger woman. On some primal level, you also think the sex will be tamer.
      But generally this is a sowing-our-wild-oats thing–most women grow up and realize that your best sex is actually with a nice guy who cares about you–and even if it isn’t, you’d rather spend your life with someone who is responsible and caring and doesn’t just love you but really LIKES you. We don’t like to marry bad boys. We don’t even necessarily like bad boys.
      I read a hilarious quote back when Jezebel was funny, from a commenter (maybe it was one of our Own Commenters!) “You know how you’re all ‘I will NEVER sleep with this asshole,’ but your downstairs is going ‘Train to Bonetown leaving the station, woo woo!'” There’s a whole thing about the difference between a “boyfriend” and a “husband.” Colin Farrell is a boyfriend. Tom Hanks is a husband. It’s gone on for generations: Cary Grant vs. Ralph Bellamy. Cary Grant vs. “George” in the Philadelphia story. Probably Brutus vs. Julius Caesar. “Veni, over and over, with Brutus, let me tell you.”

      • Jacob Prescott

        I think your synopsis pretty much covers it. I would be seriously interested to know how many alt-right dudes drop their philosophy the moment they get lucky enough to land a girlfriend and just go back to being bog standard libertarians.

  • Napoleanofthetrump

    I for one was shocked, shocked, when I went to the women’s march and there was nary a skillet in sight. They had a bullhorn at least do they didn’t denounce all of the central tenants of feminism.

  • Stulexington

    Actually the problem is women have been taught (by experiences with men) that being nice is treated as an invitation by assholes to harass them. You want women to be nice around you? Stop being an entitled misogynistic dick.

  • dshwa

    “Nice”
    What a great euphamism for “Subservient”

    • ahughes798

      In my watercolour class, when my teacher says about a painting that it’s nice, and nothing else, you have failed in some way. But the worst thing he can say about you painting is the “C” word….cute.

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    “Ask any guy you know, and he’ll likely give you example after example of women they know who said they wanted a nice guy but in reality wanted a bad boy.”

    Oh yes…don’t ask women what women want, because we’re too stupid and feckless to know. Definitely ask men what women want because they are smarter than we are, and able to see right through us. That’s how they know when no means yes, which has worked out so well.

    • Roadstergal

      Exactly. Ask guys what women after women think! Don’t actually ask woman after woman!

  • Napoleanofthetrump

    53% of white women apparently do like bad, like so very bad, boys.

    • mailman27

      Citation.

      • OppressedMass

        He means they voted for Trump

        • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

          Oh, but then, shouldn’t it be “they like incompetent, deranged, abusive idiots”

  • TundraGrifter

    Smart. Brains. Intelligence. Those are sexy in a woman. And a wicked sense of humor.

    Self-confident. Someone who will tell you that you’re full of shit when you need to hear that you’re full of shit.

    Other things are nice, of course. But that’s where it all starts.

  • Fox gets its ass sued over and over and over for sexual harassment and their response is to double down that being soft and kind and nice is what is womanly, and hence, what women really want, but that does not mean they are servants oh no, they just do everything for their men because they are nice!
    It is like they didn’t learn a thing!

    • Gregory Brown

      What is this “learn” you speak of, in reference to Fox?

  • TundraGrifter

    To be fair, both men and women go through a phase where the bad girl or the bad guy is very attractive. Often it’s on the rebound. You break up with somebody who is nice so the transition person is exactly the opposite.

    And sometimes I’ve seen women attracted to the bad boys because they see something deep inside that isn’t readily apparent to almost everybody else. Same for men, of course. Many of us were raised to think the best of people and to stick up for the underdog and like that there.

    Generally, that works for a while and then we realize what all our friends have been telling us for months. The underdog is just a dog.

    • Gregory Brown

      Sometimes, what is deeply buried in the bad boy or bad girl is a really horrible person.

      • Regret

        Or too damaged to help.

  • Me not sure

    The picture of Deanna Durbin reminded me of this mockup of her as the WWII comic book heroine Miss America. Now there’s a nice woman.

  • TootsStansbury

    Oh, go fuck yourself.

    And don’t be telling me to smile either.

  • SadDemInTex

    How can this shit be real?

    • Dolmance

      I don’t know. I really don’t.

  • Dolmance

    His breath smelled like shit, but he was really nice. I hope we can get married, and build on his being so nice.

    Then again, not every woman can be nice, say like Ava Braun.

    • Gregory Brown

      That’s Eva Braun. Don’t Godwin if you can’t get the names right. Unless you refer to Mr. Bitler from the Monty Python sketch, with his “bomcentration bamps.”

      • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

        “You wouldn’t have had much fun at Stalingrad, Mr. Bitler!!”

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Ms. Venker is living in an alternate reality. Women were “nice” for the last 5000 years, and to quote a line from a song in the musical Camelot, “It’s not the Earth the meek inherit, it’s the dirt.” Now, we should ALL be nice to each other. That includes men. This is not something that applies only to women, Ms. Venker. I think Ms. Venker has read too many Barbara Cartland novels.

    • S Snell

      I think there is a lot of overreaction occurring here. In this context “nice” seems to means “pleasant.” As a rule, men prefer “pleasant” to angry or bitter. Not exactly a newsflash.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Very true. But my point is that women also prefer “nice” to angry or bitter, and they also prefer “nice” to violent or abusive. Every rational human being prefers to have a relationship with a “nice” person, it’s a common human trait irrespective of gender, unless you are a masochist. The author didn’t mention that.

  • catnmus

    I think we all just got a big insight into this woman’s marriage.

    • Dolmance

      I’m nice. You seem nice. Let’s get married.

      • catnmus

        Why not? It’s as good a reason as any.

  • Scooby

    That attitude sounds like it’s going to cost someone $45 Million!

  • Keith Taylor

    Riiiiiggght. (Dr. Evil oozing scepticism.) I get it. Being nice is great for women but a sign of being wussy in a bloke. It recalls that cliché used by real real creeps of the sort who would slip a date rape drug in your drink given a chance.
    Rule One: Get her drunk.
    Rule Two: Don’t get too drunk yourself.
    Rule Three: Pretend to be Nice.
    Annabel Dilke wrote a novel with that title. I couldn’t get into it even aged twenty and serving in the army, but I expect Bill O’Reilly could.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    I can’t believe it’s not satire. It’s like they made a list of every false idea men have about women and crammed them all in a single editorial.

  • Heather

    Call me crazy, but what about “women are individuals and therefore like different qualities in men (or women, etc.).” Like, yeah, some women might in fact like “bad boys.” That doesn’t mean that’s what EVERY woman wants. We’re not all the same. Yeesh.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Watching Faux News, its easy to think that all women are the same — like a Barbie doll with blond hair, small waist and and two big boobs with her.
      http://cdn.liberalamerica.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Ainsley-Earhardt-1.jpg

      • Three Finger Salute

        I think the two biggest boobs are sitting on either side of her.

        • Old Man Yells at Cloud

          I fear I may have been too subtle. That was the point of that picture. Or am I missing your snark?

    • ahughes798

      I like funny, nerdy smart guys. Bad boys are good for a fling, but that’s it.

      • S Snell

        Those Beta boys need lovin’ too . . .

    • Too be fair, Fox is only familiar with the “Wingnut Blonde” model of women. The only “individuality” they have is which minority group they are devoted to slandering.

  • LadyLaz

    So two things….

    First, men don’t like “nice.” I used to be really nice. Super nice. Smile, do stuff. Seemed I attracted jerks. Then, I decided, eff it. And decided to be… well not nice. Maybe I was always not nice. But then I owned it. And I became very … popular frankly. Little mean. Little biting. Little dirty. I still respect people, in the sense I don’t walk on them. I help people out. I ask my honey about his day. But I don’t spread my niceness around. It only belongs to people who deserve it.

    Second, I don’t really like nice men. I like men who respect the word no, who speak kindly, and who don’t step on people. But I don’t want someone “nice.” I want someone who can stand up for me. I will stand up for them. A little nice, good. Nice all the time. No.

    And that is the problem. I remember a line from House. Really the only one I ever remembered. Came from a psychologist: “niceness is overrated.”

    Yup.

    • Gregory Brown

      With all due respect, I think you whiffed on your “nice” quote. I hereby offer one from M*A*S*H: “It’s nice to be nice to the nice.”

      • LadyLaz

        I like MASH too.

        how about “niceness” is overrated :)

        • Gregory Brown

          I think “nice” can be overrated. I also think it can be underrated. You can be nice, and throw you ass into the middle of a fight to break it up, and get bounced off a wall twice, but stop the fight. You can be nice and still hold people accountable for their actions. You can be nice, and help a passel of clueless teenagers change the flat tire on their car and send them on their way. You can be nice, and still have moments as the world’s biggest asshole. I am, of course, carefully concealing my true feelings.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        Yes, but remember who said that, Ferret Face.

        • Gregory Brown

          I do remember. Trapper and Hawkeye zinged him for it.

    • HarpyLibtart

      Oh yeah, this is classic patriarchal bullshit…there is a huge difference between being a good person and being ‘nice’.
      They say ‘nice’ when they mean ‘submissive’, because they know full well women who’ve been trained to be nice won’t cause a fuss or complain or when they’re being sleazy or inappropriate, won’t fight if you treat them badly, won’t go to the cops if you rape them…
      That’s part of why the knuckledraggers went so wild about being called ‘deplorables’ – how dare a woman get up on a stage, wanting to be in charge and say something that’s NOT NICE??? Burn the witch!!

      • S Snell

        Guessing from your comment that “nice” is a word not often used to describe you.

        Hostile much?

        • HarpyLibtart

          Hell yeah, when I see some God-bothering Stepford wife trying to sell some misogynist bullshit about how WOMEN need to change to make them worthy of some fragile little man’s affections, I’m bloody hostile.
          And as a matter of fact, people who don’t really know me invariably describe me as ‘nice’ – everyone else freely acknowledges that I am a delightful bitch.
          I’m guessing from your comment that “pathetic” is a word often used to describe you.
          Bitter, lonely sexist much?

          • S Snell

            Your hostility just pours off the page and fills the room with poisonous fumes. Why are you so angry? What does it accomplish, other than to age you prematurely, make you and those around you miserable and drive away people who might otherwise care? Wow. Please consider counseling.

          • HarpyLibtart

            I know it makes you feel wise and important, dispensing condescending “advice” as a disguise for your patronising disapproval…
            The problem we’re having here is your complete inability to understand that NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU THINK. About anything.
            You’re not wise, or special, or even slightly original, but it is hilarious how seriously you make these cliched little pronouncements, you genuinely think you’re having insights here…
            I needed that laugh though, bless your heart :)

  • Gregory Brown

    On one of our early dates, I reached the restaurant where we were to have lunch a tad late, and she, an Italian, was already eating her salad. I sat down, and to make small talk, asked “What kind of dressing do you have on your salad?” She reached up and tapped the bridge of her nose. I think that’s the moment I truly fell in love with her. I also cracked up.

  • Paperless Tiger

    That’s what I told my daughters. Be nice, but don’t take any shit, ya know what I mean.

  • SeeTrain65
  • Mehmeisterjr

    Define “nice.”

    Groped by Roger Ailes nice?

    Dragged down the stairs and beaten by Billo nice?

    Divorcing Alex Jones nice?

    Grabbed on the ass by your own father on national TV nice?

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    “At the end of the day, most men just want a woman who’s nice. “Nice,” to a man, means being soft, gentle and kind. It means asking your husband how his day was and really listening. It means doing something nice for him with no expectation of getting something in return—you know, the way you did when you were dating.”

    I”ve never been a big hit with the ladies, but isn’t this what EVERYONE wants? Like couldn’t you swap all those genders and it still be true? or made them the same for our gay friends.

    Should this article have just been called, be nice to each other muthafuckers.

    • HarpyLibtart

      I know right? Who even manages to get into a relationship thinking that ‘treat your person nicely and take an unselfish interest in their lives’ is somehow going above and beyond?

    • Lily412

      Exactly.

  • Truly Madly Derply

    Two thumbs up–way up. . . Venker’s ass. And also, too, for Robin, though for you it’s more like thumbs in the air or along the lines of “Who has two thumbs and thinks this post was a pleasure to read? THIS perfectly nice (mostly) feminist.” I even come equipped with a hubby and four kids, and hub and both sons are bad boys/nice guys/feminists/aholes/princes. . . just like most men/people are more than one thing at any given time and sometimes even at the same time. Must be demons.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    This article make it very to watch Archer. Phrasing!

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “It means doing something nice for him with no expectation of getting something in return—you know, the way you did when you were dating.”

    Are we talking about blow jobs, then? Because that’s kind of what I feel like we’re talking about.

    • I expected reciprocation for blowjobs when I was dating.

      • Oral for oral, that’s the moral.

        • Regret

          That’s genius!
          Or i’m very tired.
          Either way, it made me smile.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        As well you should! You’re not a Republican lady though.

  • I just came across a mess of pokeweed at work, and it got me to thinking… who wants a nice girl when you can go out with a wretched, spiteful, straight-razor totin’ woman?

  • motmelere
  • motmelere

    THAT was a sarcastic take from the 80s on a man from the 50s.Get off the time machine, Suzie.

  • Octavia Bratenpfeffer

    Right? Who doesn’t dream of a marriage modelled on Eric Cartman’s relationship with his mom?!

  • Venker then explains that men like women who are “easy to love.”

    So does Rush Limbaugh. That’s why he goes on all of those Dominican sex tours. (But seriously, y’all, that’s totally what Venker is talking about.)

  • Problem is, women have been taught that being a nice or solicitous wife equates to servitude, as though a woman’s niceness automatically equates to being a mouse—whereupon her husband will walk all over her.

    Oh darn it, Robyn you cut off the disclaimer that stated that women have been “taught” (more like “been commanded”) that because of cultural propaganda tentacles arms like FOX news and Vernker.

    • Lily412

      So many of our “traditions” are rooted in the idea that women are property. People just don’t know enough history to realize that.

  • phoenix00

    What’s more scary: Phyllis Schafly has descendants.

    • S Snell

      Technically, not a Schafly descendant. But even if she were, you can’t pick your forebears, and their sins are not yours.

      • phoenix00

        Ok bootlicker, fine, I’m stretching it a bit with the word “descendant” but MY sins? If I have kids I will make DAMN sure they don’t end up like Venker or Schafly.

  • Rickyphoo

    ““Nice,” to a man, means being soft, gentle and kind.”

    I am having a hard time seeing any of those words used to describe her aunt Phyllis Schlafly.

  • Wm Kiernan

    Some people like to “take charge” for the sake of “taking charge.” Generally, they achieve nothing. Other people try to get things done.

  • x111e7thst

    Some people ooze. They should probably see a doctor about that..

  • Thomas McCabe

    And now to a break and an ad from our sponsors at Stepford Inc.

  • Donkey Option

    Dear Suzanne Venker,
    Fuck off. Sorry, was that not nice enough for you? Fine. Please fuck off.
    Sincerely,
    DO

  • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

    Motion to have the word nice struck from life? Thank you.

  • Unregistered Hijabi Rockstar

    Sorry to tell you this, lady, but your hair stylist is not “nice.” What she is is “working in customer service.”

  • Kathleen Perez

    Then those awful feminists refuse to realize that human filth like O’Reilly are just being “take charge” and “masculine” rather than sexual abusers and they go an sue them in court. That is so NOT nice! Thank Gawd we have Suzanne, a.k.a. Captain Obvious to explain to use the the abusers would rather we be nice! That’s cleared that thorny issue up!

Previous articleBetsy DeVos’s Black University Commencement Speech? Yeah, It Did Not Go Awesome
Next articleRep. Tom MacArthur ‘Saved’ TrumpCare. His Town Hall? It Could Have Gone Better