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Fresh off firing FBI Director James Comey, who spent too much time worrying about the completely fake Trump-Russia scandal, Donald Trump met in the Oval Office Wednesday with Russian foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov and Russian Ambassador to the U.S. Sergey Kislyak. Yes, the same Sergey Kislyak with whom half the Trump campaign had undisclosed contacts. American reporters were excluded from the meeting, which was covered by Russian state media instead, because Trump has already decided he has transcended optics, norms, and all standards of normality. For all we know, he and the Russians may have kicked around the idea of shooting someone on Fifth Avenue just to see how that worked out.

The visit wasn’t the first time Lavrov has been in the Oval Office — he dropped by for a chat with Barack Obama in 2013, but wasn’t invited back after Russia invaded Ukraine and annexed Crimea in 2014, which for some reason Obama and lots of other people who are neither Russian nor Donald Trump think was a bad thing. Fortunately, Politico’s Susan Glasser informs us, all Vladimir Putin had to do was ask, and the Oval Office was open to Russia once more:

“He chose to receive him because Putin asked him to,” a White House spokesman said of Trump’s Lavrov meeting. “Putin did specifically ask on the call when they last talked.”

Just to make clear who’s important and who isn’t, shortly before meeting Trump, Lavrov laughed off questions about whether the Comey firing had cast a shadow on the talks. Posing for photos with Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, Lavrov deadpanned, “Was he fired? You’re kidding. You’re kidding!” There’s that famous Lavrov wit, which might even be called “Kennedyesque” had the joke actually been funny.

All in all, the session was a big win for Russia, although the exclusion of American journos for the Russian A.V. Club did raise a certain bit of fuss, even from rightwing voices like former Rep. Joe Walsh, who took a brief moment away from bashing Muslims and poor people to condemn Trump’s Russian-only press pool as “bullshit.” (Don’t worry; he was back to Trump-fluffing today, praising Trump for his ability to “wig out the media every single day.”) A White House official is now claiming Team Trump had no idea the photos of the meeting would be published by the state news agency TASS, because why would they ever circulate the photos they were taking? Perhaps the Trumpers assumed the pics would only show up in Russia, because they have never heard of this “Internet” thing. CNN’s Jim Acosta reports the official said the White House is “furious” over the photos:

That, or Trump is noticing how good a friendly press can make him look — he may just replace the American press with the Russians from now on.

And then there’s the question of whether inviting Russian media into the Oval Office was such a great idea from a security standpoint; “former U.S. intelligence officials” told the Washington Post it was possible the photographer and crew might have brought in “a listening device or other surveillance equipment could have been brought into the Oval Office while hidden in cameras or other electronics.” Which, given Trump’s friendliness with the Russians, seems almost redundant, but we can see the concern. But hey, with an open line all the time, who needs a hotline? For its part, the White House said Nah, mang, it’s no big, since

the photographer and his equipment were subjected to a security screening before he and it entered the White House grounds. The Russian “had to go through the same screening as a member of the U.S. press going through the main gate to the [White House] briefing room,” a senior administration official said.

Well that makes us feel all kinds of better, knowing that the Russian reporter was subject to the same strict vetting as American “reporters” like The Stupidest Man on the Internet, the Pizzagate guy, and the guy who’s certain France’s new president is a mind-controlled zombie. (More so than usual.)

Make sure you read Glasser’s excellent, thoughtful piece on Lavrov and his skills at manipulating weak-minded American presidents whose names start with Donald Trump. Even though many American diplomats don’t like him — one top Bush official flatly said, “He’s a complete asshole” — Lavrov knows all it really takes to impress Trump is to call him smart, so the Russians won’t need more than some flattery and puppy biscuits to ensure his continued loyalty. Trump doesn’t have a foreign policy, so Lavrov will be happy to provide one, and having an open door at the White House will certainly cut down on having to send disreputable flunkies like Michael Flynn off to “secret” meetings that U.S. and allied intelligence agencies find out about anyway. And if any of the adults in the room try to constrain Trump, that’s easily taken care of — as with Preet Bharara, Comey, and Sally Yates, the insane little magical boy in the big chair can wish them into the cornfield, and everyone around him will smile and tell him what a great job he’s doing.

Everyone’s smiling, as long, of course, as you’re not a U.S. ally:

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[Politico / WaPo / NYT]

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  • Bill D. Burger
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      “Who knew that the man walking around with the camera would actually be taking pictures with that camera?? Outrageous!”

      • Oblios_Cap

        She said the man in the gabardine suit was a spy
        I said, be careful, his bowtie is really a camera

        • coozledad

          We’ve all come to piss on America.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Dim-witted rube says what?

    • Joe Beese
    • proudgrampa

      Well, you certainly can’t make this stuff up…

    • Werewolf

      “Stop saying that! Jokes don’t write themselves! Jews write jokes, and they’re scared shitless!”

      -Samantha Bee

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend

    It is the pravda, the whole pravda and nothing but the pravda, so help me Putin!

    • There is no truth in Pravda and no news in Izvstia

  • memzilla Ω
  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Is we winning yet?

    • FlemmishSpy

      So tired.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Joe Beese

    … just days before the foreign minister’s arrival, hackers with suspected ties to Russia attempted to interfere in France’s election. Typically, such an event would make an American administration think twice about granting the Kremlin its desired photo op. But Vladimir Putin had personally asked Trump to meet with Lavrov during a recent phone call, and the president decided to be obliging.

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/05/russia-misled-white-house-about-oval-office-photographer.html

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    What could we get if we traded Trump and a couple of draft choices with Russia,

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      A bag of ratty old pucks and a couple of cans of borscht that are bulging suspiciously?

      • Historicat

        Quick – close the deal before the Russians change their minds.

    • Rick Hill

      At least end the facade and have Putin just run things directly

    • BFD

      Nothing needed; just take the fuckers.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Not even some rolls of tape and some Icey-Hot?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      That’s going to change to minutes, if it hasn’t already.

      • Oblios_Cap

        seconds

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Rick Hill

      Didn’t play any power games with the Russian handshake, did he?

  • schmannity

    After their meeting, Trump and Lavrov attended a service at the National Cathedral. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3adb36fc55f34354dd5ef0efc082c18475269523d76706de1686f921b5aa0059.jpg

    • LucindathePook

      Then they went out to the WH lawn, where Lavrov tossed a Frisbee for Trump to catch in his mouth.

      • OddMan

        While Spicy watched from the bushes.

  • memzilla Ω

    I don’t think the Russians were planting surveillance devices in the Oval Office. I think they were just changing the batteries on the ones that were already there.
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a0bdef3ef8456b00388bf99a0ebddba99f3326ff6dcad68c40d9c7bb8ad7abc7.jpg

  • Chadwells

    OT: Rep. Mike “You can’t have your privacy violated if you don’t know your privacy is violated” Rogers seems to be a frontrunner for FBI head.

    Awesome.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      That sounds like the kind of thing a peeping Tom would say. Holy fuck.

  • anwisok
    • Lance Thrustwell

      That goat looks highly amused.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        For a change, he’s not the one being fucked by Republicans.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      “We had no idea they would be taking pictures! We walk around like this all the time!”

    • Ghenghis McCann

      “Now children, can you tell me how many chins are in that picture? The one who guesses closest will get a prize.”

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        11?

        • Ghenghis McCann

          Close enough. I’ll email you one of those cakes that we like.

        • Little Lulu Ω

          To be fair, only the bottom four have cellulite.

      • coozledad

        I thought it was “spot the hidden bag of Crisco.”

    • Notice no hand jerking

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Oh, he’s jerking him. Later.

    • proudgrampa

      Many upfists for this compare and contrast…

    • cmd resistor

      I just figured it out. Trump wanted a photo standing next to this guy because the ambassador guy’s extra chins make his look smaller in comparison.

    • nightmoth

      Trump is a traitor. There’s no doubt in my mind. All he cares about is money and he’s in debt to Russia.

  • Nounverb911
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    CNN’s Jim Acosta reports the official said the White House is “furious” over the photos

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/53743e4e8afdeed2ce35bc8490065afcdef153f2955b6bec3bfd8daae3b77336.jpg

    • Chadwells

      Is it weird that I kinda want to see that? LOL!!

      • snark-lurker

        yes

      • Antonin Dvorak

        Just wait until CinemaSnob reviews it.

      • OddMan

        Do not click the link, do not click the link . . .
        er I have to go look at some . . . stock quotes.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      What are pants?

      • Nockular cavity

        Things that people wore before the internet.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          I was ahead of the curve. When browsing the card catalog, I took my pants off at the library door, to practice safe card thumbing.

          • proudgrampa

            They still have card catalogs???

          • Oblios_Cap

            You’ve got to love that Dewey Decimal System!

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Is that supposed to be Boris or Donald?

    • OddMan

      “‘Teaser May’” and “Tronald Dump” according to the article. They are filming ‘right now’, and the movie comes out later this year.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Thank you, Dok. I commented (as if) on this all day yesterday and even emailed Olbermann (hell, why not) that what went down in the Oval Office was absurd and possibly dangerous. Had Hillary or Obama done that, their heads would already be on pikes in front of the WH. Individual Russian citizens may be our great friends. Russian government officials are NOT. And I’m not even anybody. I’m just an academic hack with degrees in geography who has lived on the Earth longer than Dok Zoom. I do not suffer fools. But our country and more to the point, the GOP, is suffering their titular pussy-grabbing leader.

    Now the administration is all so shocked they got rolled. It’s not just fuck them, it’s fuck us. Fuck US for putting up with this clown for as long as we have. Fuck US for being so amused and sated by our technology and our diversions and our distractions that we cannot function as a nation of people capable of perceiving a known threat and doing fuck about it.

    • jodyleek

      I doubt the so-called administration was shocked. They say one thing while winking and nudging themselves. They are traitorous con men and the “culturally and economically anxious” (read: racist ignoramuses) have thrown us all into the hand-basket headed for Hades.

    • proudgrampa

      Well said, cuz.

  • vivian

    So Comey was fired because Dear Leader’s fee-fees got hurt when Comey claimed in testimony that it made him mildly nauseous to think his actions could have impacted the election. In short: Comey stole the limelight from Dear Leader’s one accomplishment.

    • OddMan

      Good insight. I think that one phrase Comey said, “mildly nauseous” and Our Dear Lord Dampnut™ immediately thought it was all about him. Last straw.
      Which come to think of it, it was.

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    Clearly those photos were only supposed to go in the Ambassador’s scrapbook.

    • Oblios_Cap

      With the Pee Hooker tapes.

  • exinkwretch

    Direct quote from Lavrov: “President Trump is an amazing leader! Russian would need to drink two bottles of vodka to be this fucking crazy!”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “The fact of the matter is the president and secretary of state have said relations are at a low ebb and it’s important to get them back up from the floor, and to do that we’ve got to talk,” Michael Anton, head of strategic communications at the National Security Council, told me about the “warm” session between Trump and the Russians. “Maybe we can see some semblance of cooperation in Syria. Some semblance in Ukraine. We certainly don’t have much prospect of progress if we don’t talk.”

    “Progress at whose expense?”

    – Ukrainians and Syrians

    • Celtic_Gnome

      And let’s not forget that the Russians said American aircraft would not be allowed in Syrian airspace.

  • ServantToTheStars

    He’s looking extra bloated these days and has gone from a Troll Doll to a Tiki Doll. Maybe the stress actually will get him before a rogue agent takes one for the team.

    • Eileen Besse

      Will the stroke-out be televised? I hope?

    • Ghenghis McCann

      From the colour of his face, it looks like a rouge agent has already had a go at him.

      • Oblios_Cap

        It’s a good thing he stays away from stairs because they would need to reinforce them pretty soon.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    On a personal level, Lavrov is universally disliked among U.S. diplomats. “He’s a complete asshole,” a top Bush official told me for that Foreign Policy profile. Added a top Obama official in a conversation Wednesday: “He’s a nasty SOB. He would be relentlessly berating and browbeating and sarcastic and nasty. His job was to berate and beat and harass us and Secretary Kerry into conceding the Russian view. It wasn’t defeating America; it was that Russia can’t win if it has to compromise at all.”

    These are unbelievably striking comments—and not at all what former senior officials have to say about foreign ministers from other countries in the world, even those with whom the United States is at odds.

    Now I know why Donald likes him.

    • LucindathePook

      Birds of a feather…

    • georgiaburning

      That’s the Repubs next speaker of the House if Donald gets tired of Ryan

  • Anna Rompage

    “the photographer and his equipment were subjected to a security screening before he and it entered the White House grounds.”

    Seeing that the TSA has a failure rate of 74+% on detecting illegal contraband, including bombs & firearms, I’m not so sure I have much faith in that screening process

    • snark-lurker

      no worry. they donut need listening devices when drumph calls them all the time for instructions

      • Meccalopolis

        Lavrov: can I smack him around a little?

        Putin: not in front of camera

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    When I first saw that picture I thought Kislyak was the monster from the Legion TV show.
    https://i0.wp.com/www.monstersandcritics.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/legion-chapter-6.jpg?resize=300%2C250

  • Chadwells

    So they used the same screening they used for Flynn? Got it. What could go wrong, you ignorant fucks.

    • Meccalopolis

      Too many motha fucking Russians in this motha fucking Whitehouse!

      • Chadwells

        Snakes works too!!!!

  • Proud Liberal

    One word. PATHETIC.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      A trumpist would call you out by saying “That’s three words! Pah Thet ick! People don’t know that, but I have a lot of smarts!”

  • Flashman

    After screening The Battleship Potemkin, they sang the Internationale and drank a toast to Smersh.

  • shastakoala

    Sergey, Sergey and Darryl.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “Everyone had been hopeful that adult supervision would mean that Trump’s foreign policy would become more predictable and rational,” said another longtime Russia hand. “We thought he would be constrained from making stupid decisions on Russia policy because of all this furor. But look at this mad-tweeting and the Comey decision: Anything can change at any moment.”

    Adult supervision only goes so far, you know…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4ab5a4a007d31ff08455ee2f2febe5b590d291e6869be7e83ce6329b58082db7.jpg

    • MynameisBlarney

      What a fucking simpleton.

    • PubOption

      Is that caption missing an n?

    • Ghenghis McCann

      On the back of the jacket, there’s a larger patch saying “Kick Me.”

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      There’s just something about that smug, shit eating grin.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Obligatory, full metal jackoff
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJMP0FEz51U

    • snigsy

      That’s the same sort of smile I had in my Grade 1 class photo.

    • Naytch
  • Chadwells

    OT: More trolling of this deformed Yam:

    “Merriam-Webster Politely Tells Drumpf He Did Not Invent Phrase ‘Prime The Pump’”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-prime-the-pump_us_591458dbe4b00b643ebba843?ir=Politics&utm_hp_ref=politics

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      Whoever mans the MW Twitter deserves a medal when this is all over (and it will be over).

    • Mpeg

      Nowhere does the HuffPo piece acknowledge this is yet another sign of dementia and/or ruanaway narcisstic grandeur of delusion~

      • Meccalopolis

        I like it

    • SeeTrain65

      Nor did he invent the phrase, “To Coin A Phrase.”

  • Bill D. Burger
    • That’s the only smile I’ve ever seen on trump’s face

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        That’s the same “smile” a gazelle sees on a Nile crocodile’s face just before it’s grabbed and dragged underwater.

      • BFD

        We have ways of making you smile.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      “We have more and better looking pee hookers”

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Missed the ears. Amateur mistake.

  • Spurning Beer

    The gaslighting is working. I feel dizzy.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Thank you Comrade Trump: Great pictures! Kisses from Russia

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C_eaq0XUQAAjaHd.jpg

    • proudgrampa

      Hmmm. Vodka martinis!

      • snark-lurker

        hey, that’s not a martini!

        • proudgrampa

          Well, it sure ain’t a wine spritzer…

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        With canned clams!

        • Oblios_Cap

          Monster!

        • proudgrampa

          (obligatory) YOU MONSTER!!!

    • Meccalopolis

      Is that kalishnakov?

      • Mondoshawan

        Indeed it is.

  • proudgrampa

    We are freakin’ doomed.

    Get out the old Russian phrase books — we’re gonna need them.

  • freakishlypersistent

    This should be the line in the sand. It HAS to be. Republicans need to start acting like Americans. America First my ass.

  • The Librarian

    WaPo headline:

    Acting FBI director vows to inform congressional committee if White House tries to upend Russia probe

    • snark-lurker

      lol and if you can believe that…

    • georgiaburning

      And they’ll do what?

      • The Librarian

        Something, something, something?

  • MynameisBlarney

    Federal Judge orders Kobach to hand over the documents from turmp meeting…

    http://www.kansascity.com/news/politics-government/article149757479.html

    • Heather

      Good. He’s another one that seriously needs to roast in the hell that I don’t even believe in.

  • coozledad

    Apparently Comey’s request to the DOJ wasn’t something as vague as “more resources” The request was for PROSECUTORS. Doesn’t that mean the indictments were already in the pipeline?

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Lavrov’s contempt for the reporters was all I needed to see to wash away any last doubts that Trump is fully in the sway, if not the actual pay, of Russia. They know he’s theirs, and have no need to pay even the most cursory lip service to American principles.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Well ,we let them have the space program.

      • Contemplative Ron

        For now.
        – China

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Thanks Obama

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Proud Liberal

      This is what a world of confusion looks like.

      • Historicat

        Oh, Superman, where are you now
        When everything’s gone wrong somehow

  • writersbloc

    Was thinking Trumps ambivalence to Merkel might have been more related to her being a woman than being German.

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      Make that a woman who looks her age.

      • Major_Major_Major

        and a woman who is SOOOOOOO much smarter than him.

        • Ghenghis McCann

          Aren’t all women smarter than him?

          • Major_Major_Major

            The vast majority, yes. Then there are the KaC’s that need to be accounted for.

  • Chadwells

    OT: I. Hate. This. Fucking. ASSHOLE.

    “Donald Drumpf Announces Commission To Investigate His Baseless Widespread Voter Fraud Claim”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-voter-fraud-investigation_us_591465f6e4b030d4f1f03d26?ir=Politics&utm_hp_ref=politics

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Y’know, commissions have a way of finding shit the creators of them didn’t want them to find. So have it Donnie, and they’ll end up finding out the Russians and/or the RNC hacked voting machines in PA, WI, OH, and MI. Also? See you in hell.

      • Contemplative Ron

        I don’t think he needs to worry, since he’ll be instructing the commission on what they will find.

      • Historicat

        Kris Kobach is going to be on the commission and you know he’s a voting expert.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Next will be: “High Commission Investigating Fraudulent Inauguration Pictures That Made President Trump’s Crowd Appear Smaller Than the Biggest Crowd to Attend an Inauguration in History….Which it Was. PERIOD.”

    • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend

      I’ll tell you where you will find the voter fraud. It will be in the states of Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania and east, west and south of there somewhat.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Good. He’s going to piss off every Republican Secretary of State by calling into question their ability to secure the electoral process in their states, something they need as a talking point when they’re running for reelection or another state office.

      There’s talk that Ohio Secretary of State Jon Husted wants to challenge Sherrod Brown next year. This gives Sherrod a nice talking point: “How good was he as Secretary of State if the President from his own party is investigating him for voter fraud?”

  • Crystalclear12

    Nobody in the White House thought to say:
    Hey, man baby, this is a bad idea?

    • Oblios_Cap

      They are probably not allowed to say things like that.

  • Nockular cavity

    he was back to Trump-fluffing today, praising Trump for his ability to “wig out the media every single day.”

    You know, actually shooting someone on Fifth Avenue every day would probably wig out the media, and most other Americans, besides. I suspect that Joe Walsh and the other Trump fans would still be cheering. “He scares the crap out of the libtards, LOL!”

  • Internet Hitler

    “Was he fired? You’re kidding. You’re kidding!” Lavrov deadpanned, “Haha, but no, I kid. I already know of course, since I ordered it myself!”

  • laughingnome

    Let’s face it. Our new dad is Putin. He’ll be taking us us to Disneyland this summer. Get over it.

    • Proud Liberal

      NEVER!

      • laughingnome

        I know it’s difficult. Especially when you see him at breakfast in a bathrobe, but he’s here to stay.

        • Proud Liberal

          If this continues, you will find me hanging in my bathroom.

          • laughingnome

            Okay.

  • Marceline

    All the IC folks on Twitter are all abuzz about something coming down today or tomorrow. I try to take the chatter with a grain of salt because…Twitter but it sounds like something is going to drop. *fingers crossed*

    • Anna Rompage

      There are a bunch of subpoenas coming down the line, in regards to the Trump investigation…

    • Yaaassss.

  • cheetojeebus

    Watching the Senate hearings, Pompeo is an asslick, that is all.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Nope. Cannot with this shit today.

    • jodyleek

      My only relief is knowing there are like-minded people on Wonkette to commiserate with.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack
    • coozledad

      Trump came up with “priming the pump” on his own.

  • Internet Hitler
  • ken_kukec

    Trump’s about to discover the implicit clause in Lincoln’s famous saying — “You can fool none of the people some of the time.”

  • OddMan

    Lavrov deadpanned, “Was he fired? You’re kidding. You’re kidding!” There’s that famous Lavrov wit”

    The motherfuckers are literally laughing in our face as they ‘Move Into The Oval Office!’

    And the GOP ignores it all.

    • TJ Barke

      Hey, if it helps American oligarchs loot the treasury and exploit the public harder then they’re for it.

  • JohnBull

    Now that we’re under Russian command, when are we getting new subway systems and gin and tonic in a can?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      And dogs that ride the subway?

    • Oblios_Cap

      I’m drawing he line at borstch

    • sadboy

      “Sergeant, I hope you like vodka.”

      “Yes sir, I just hope they don’t make me eat those damn fish eggs.”

      -WarGames

  • Chadwells

    Kasich compares Fuckface to meth. LOL! I have to give it to the guy, that’s pretty fucking funny!!

  • I actually think that the Russians are sending a message:
    “We published these photos but you know we have more photos of you in a very embarrassing pose”

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    “Golly gee, Wally. They tricked us!”
    Yeah. Yesterday, during the campaign, many years ago fluffing up their puppet with monetary incentives, etc, etc. It’s a real surprise.

    Or maybe he really is that stupid.

    • JohnBull

      When you say “fluffing their puppet,” strange things come into my head.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        The strange things were already in mine, man. Pity me.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Puppet Porn? Well, different strokes etc.

    • proudgrampa
      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        cavemen, indeed

  • TJ Barke

    Hey donnie, if by some amazing twist of fate you really don’t have ties to russia, this sort of thing is why people think you do…

  • Thiazin Red

    They were tricked? Oh well we saw the guy bringing in a camera but we didn’t know they would take pictures with it!

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    ‘…This is the way the world ends
    This is the way the world ends
    Not with a bang but a whimper.”

    • anon_the_great

      Bang. Like w/ Russian Hookers?

      • Ghenghis McCann

        “First bang was free. Now you have to pay.”

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Well, from what I understand, the Russian Puppet didn’t actually bank them. He just watched, like Chauncey Gardner.

    • proudgrampa

      I loves me some poetry:

      ee cummings:

      i sing of Olaf glad and big
      whose warmest heart recoiled at war:
      a conscientious object-or

      his wellbelovéd colonel(trig
      westpointer most succinctly bred)
      took erring Olaf soon in hand;
      but–though an host of overjoyed
      noncoms(first knocking on the head
      him)do through icy waters roll
      that helplessness which others stroke
      with brushes recently employed
      anent this muddy toiletbowl,
      while kindred intellects evoke
      allegiance per blunt instruments–
      Olaf(being to all intents
      a corpse and wanting any rag
      upon what God unto him gave)
      responds,without getting annoyed
      “I will not kiss your fucking flag”

      straightway the silver bird looked grave
      (departing hurriedly to shave)

      but–though all kinds of officers
      (a yearning nation’s blueeyed pride)
      their passive prey did kick and curse
      until for wear their clarion
      voices and boots were much the worse,
      and egged the firstclassprivates on
      his rectum wickedly to tease
      by means of skilfully applied
      bayonets roasted hot with heat–
      Olaf(upon what were once knees)
      does almost ceaselessly repeat
      “there is some shit I will not eat”

      our president,being of which
      assertions duly notified
      threw the yellowsonofabitch
      into a dungeon,where he died

      Christ(of His mercy infinite)
      i pray to see;and Olaf,too

      preponderatingly because
      unless statistics lie he was
      more brave than me:more blond than you.

      • Meccalopolis

        Sun, moon, stars, rain

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        I had not read this poem. It’s fantastic. Thanks!

        • proudgrampa

          “i will not kiss your fucking flag” — best line of poetry EVAH.

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            EVAH

    • Querolous

      ‘…This is the way the world ends
      This is the way the world ends
      Not with a bang but a whimper twitter.”

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        That’s gold!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Oblios_Cap

      Those scamps probably called him a pig-fucker in Russian, and he’s just laughing but doesn’t get the joke.

      • Eileen Besse

        I think he wouldn’t get it in English, either….

        • Celtic_Gnome

          He would be confused. He only fucks 10’s.

    • JohnBull

      But we’re the commies for reading Nabokov in college (and pronouncing his name right.)

    • nightmoth

      In-fucking-credible.

  • BosGrl “Unmasked”

    Argh. I’m so sick of “that’s just Trump being Trump” whenever he speaks.

  • anon_the_great

    Where are all those earnest men and women militia members who solemnly swore an oath to defend against enemies foreign and domestic? THERE ARE FUCKIN RUSSIAN OPERATIVES LAUGHING AT US FROM THE WHITE HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!! DEFCON ONE BILLION

    • proudgrampa

      FSM help us…

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      They were more worried about a woman getting in the White House. Now that’s something worth fighting against!

    • DainBramage

      What they meant by enemies was anyone trying to keep the air breathable and the water drinkable. You now, hippies.

    • georgiaburning

      Wandering around Cabela’s buying overpriced rifle scopes and the spring camo collection

      • Lamashtar

        Well, yeah.

    • JohnBull

      At the Wal Mart cafeteria, picking up chicks?

    • VirginiaLady

      We saw a few at Horn’s getting take out. Brunch there is very good though so I can’t blame them. Priorities are a bit different in the Northern Neck of Virginia.

  • Oblios_Cap
    • Contemplative Ron

      If and when a Dem gets it back, they’re going to need to strip the room to the lath to get all the Russian bugs out.

      • C4TWOMAN

        God can you imagine? They’ll have to strip down or replace all the furnishings too….

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      “Do not mind us Rusian mens here, we are here just, as you say, measuring of the drapes! Haw! Haw!Haw!”

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Nothing to see here, move along now. Oh, what’s that…?
    https://twitter.com/AP/status/862695285356679169

    • chicken thief

      Hmm. He must have another job lined up already….

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Like Burgess and Maclean.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Poor Donnie can’t get a break with this Russian thing…

  • mancityRed6

    “Was he fired? You’re kidding. You’re kidding!”
    I guess Rex didn’t include the question about “Why didn’t you just have him killed?”

  • DainBramage

    Trump was assured that those photos would only be filed in the dossier along with the pee-hooker tapes and the spreadsheets of the hundreds of millions of dollars that he’s laundering for them. Russian perfidy!

    • Ghenghis McCann

      “Not dossier, Mr President. We call it portfolio, like supermodel has with pictures to sell herself. Not that you need to sell yourself. We own you.”

  • canes_pugnaces

    And the POT (Party of Trump) is OK with this? The press is silent. WTF is going on?

    • JohnBull

      Nothing to see. Trump could set a school bus of nuns on fire and they’d just laugh maniacally like that German guy on “Schindler’s List.” They are beyond help.

      • canes_pugnaces

        I’d like to call you a horrible name and a liar, but you’re right, of course. So I’ll close my head in a vice instead. Thanks.

      • chicken thief

        Well in all fairness, Trump will sign a bill slashing any and all taxes so what can Congress really do?!

      • Sophia

        I have to watch that movie again.

        • C4TWOMAN

          It’s heartwrenching and haunting. Especially at the end when he’s beating himself up over not saving more Jews…..

    • nightmoth

      There is no real POT, but the GOP is wiggling in glee that they’re in the catbird seat and still thinking they can control the ignorant dickhead. IMO.

      • Historicat

        They may not be a party of but there is the Cult of Trump. They’ve drunk the Kool-Aid, we just need them to drink the Flavorade.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
  • Mr. Blobfish

    So what if they bugged the Offal Office. What are they going to hear? Trump yelling at CNN all day?

    • Doug Langley

      “This Coke needs another ice cube! You’re fired!!”

  • Atheist

    I’m starting to think he doesn’t even want the job as President anymore. He yells “fake news” then excludes the entire American press from a meeting with a Russian ambassador? Why doesn’t he just ADMIT IT that he’s got all kinds of hinksy shit going on with Putin and be done with it. I can’t imagine having to hear about this for the next four years when we all know it’s true and denying at this point is just gaslighting the American public.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      I still don’t think he ever really intended to get elected. I think he hoped to make some waves, get richer and do what he’s always done, profit off of being a troll. Basically, he’d be doing what he’s doing now, except it wouldn’t have mattered so much and he wouldn’t be about to get “you’re fired” as a result of it.

      That’s why he’s so obsessed with crowd sizes and electoral votes. He really can’t believe he won. Maybe he’s being strangely honest when he says “nobody thought I would win.” Maybe he actually means “I never thought I would win, they told me I wouldn’t win, so I bet the farm on not winning and lost yuge! Sad!”

      Just my theory and it doesn’t absolve him of anything. History might reflect more clearly on this. I’m interested to find out why for myself.

      • nightmoth

        Definitely. Remember a few days before the election he was making excuses as to why he was NOT going to win: i.e. Hillary had “fixed” the election? He had NO transition team in place and many positions he is responsible for are still not filled. This whole thing would be a ridiculous and hilarious SNL skit, were it not that we are talking about Commander in Chief of one of the planet’s most powerful and influential nations.

        • C4TWOMAN

          The one very thin silver lining is by saying “it’s rigged” then winning, he single-handedly gave any fence sitting people considering that conspiracy the proof that no one is “rigging” things. At least not in the NWO/Jews/Illuminati way.
          ALL those political conspiracies only work if one can identify as an outsider.

        • Regret

          Lesson learned: Don’t have positions with that much power. Someday, an idiot may get in.

          • nightmoth

            I’m trying to be hopeful because of the old “checks and balances.” Congress has to pay attention, though, and with the GOP in control, I fear they are power mad and not thinking of the big picture.

      • Doug Langley

        Nobody expected him to be given the winner’s wreath. All the polls, all the analysis pointed to Hillz sailing to an easy win. Nobody was adding up all the crap weighing the scales.

        • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

          Nobody was paying attention to the man behind the curtain–Putin.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        I think you are right.

      • Zyxomma

        Been saying this since the 10th of November. He wanted to go on TV to yell about “crooked Hillary” for four years; never thought he’d actually win.

  • Jeff Ackerman

    comrade Trump = Товарищ козырь

    • JohnBull

      More like Товарищ Козел.

      • Querolous

        That’s baaaaad!

  • chicken thief

    If I didn’t have total confidence in Trump as a hard line negotiator and man who knows how to deal with politicians that whole “they tricked me” about something as mundane as photos would be an eye opening revelation.

  • ken_kukec

    “There’s that famous Lavrov wit … ”

    Stalin’s old NKVD chief, Lavrentiy Beria, was quite the cut-up, too.

    With all that competition, no wonder poor Yakov Smirnoff is stuck playing Branson, MO.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Well, he was cut up with bullets.

  • VirginiaLady

    He feels so invincible and unafraid around them because they gave him an amethyst ring that protects you from all forms of poison mounted on a unicorn horn worn internally at all times. It’s a genuine Faberge!

    • Phoenixdoglover

      With a 5-year battery life.

  • Phoenixdoglover

    The race is on. Will the sanctions get lifted? Will Rex and Donald get their billions? Will the donor class get their sweet tax cuts?

    Or will the career G-men stop them in their tracks and save America from the clutches of evil?

    Join us next week for the exciting conclusion of Drumpf or Nothin’. Brought to you by Ovaltine.

    • Zyxomma

      Not by Brawndo?

  • sadboy

    Did this Russian photographer look like Gary Oldman? Because you really don’t want a Russian photographer who looks like Gary Oldman around the President. Just ask Harrison Ford.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I wonder if anybody, including his family, is comfortable around Gary Oldman. He plays such an amazing villain that I’m not sure I could sleep in the same house as him.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Wow, that Lavrov is such a hottie. I just want to fondle his chins all day.

  • Bitter Scribe

    (Don’t worry; he was back to Trump-fluffing today, praising Trump for his ability to “wig out the media every single day.”)

    Yes, “wigging out the media” certainly is a special, useful skill. You have to 1) be elected, or at least nominated, to office and 2) regularly say idiotic, offensive things. It’s no wonder that those who were most accomplished at “wigging out the media” include such distinguished lights of the Republic as Donald Trump, Sarah Palin and Joe Walsh.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Why would the Russkies need to plant a listening device in the oval office? They got their listening device elected president…

    • C4TWOMAN

      IKR? Or they can just use the land line:
      “Hello. Donald? Anything new?”

    • richardgrabman

      But it’s an unreliable one. Human intelligence depends on having an intelligent human.

  • NastyBossetti

    That tweet about the White House being mad about the photos really, truly baffles me.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Everything Trump has said for decades baffles me.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    “How dare you publish those photos we let you take!”

  • President in Exile Firefly

    In Soviet America, photo takes YOU!

    • OrdinaryJoe

      In Soviet America, Oval Office is Red Square !

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    “Hey nice camera”

    “Is not a camera, is highly technyichal piece of equipment, only gives people with gryeatest brains even more super-powers”

    . . .

    “THEY TRICKED ME!”

  • Bill Slider

    Not long ago the Ivanka beautique line dropped its perfume fragrances. Perhaps it’s time for a new one. May I suggest Eue de Suicide?

  • Paperless Tiger

    “Yeah, they got a thing, the Constitution, but, you know me, I made a much better deal. Reince said don’t worry about it as long as I sign their bills. I don’t read those either. Now let’s get back to Rosneft.”

  • Me not sure

    Those photos are probably being mounted in Putin’s scrapbook of treasured memories right next to the pee hooker snapshots.

  • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

    Honestly, I think he thought “They’ll have pictures but only in Russia–no one else will ever see them.” Seriously, I think he’s that stupid.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Putin is getting tired of his bottom.

      Underaged pee-hooker video coming up.

  • jjdaddyo

    The Siberian Candidate

  • Run2Live
  • Scooby

    Kislyak really earns his paycheck.

  • Poly_Ester

    Beam me up, Vlad!

  • r m reddicks

    Two of these guys are laughing and one looks like an idiot. Makes sense to me!

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