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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

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  • Nounverb911
    • Red Bird Ω

      That looks cozy.

  • Nounverb911
    • Crystalclear12

      Sean, get back to work!

  • Nounverb911
  • Msgr_MΩment

    Trump Embraces His Inner Nixon.

    Ingrown Dick?

    • FlemmishSpy

      He’ll nominate Kissinger to FBI

    • Crystalclear12

      So that’s how he fucks himself!

  • AndyC316

    The interesting thing about Comey’s firing and all the lying lies that have been lied about it, is that it signals the beginning of the fucking end and thank God almighty

    • snark-lurker

      i donut know about that. every week he does something that makes us think, “He can’t get above this.” and here we are 4 months in

      • AndyC316

        I’m not sure he can out-bullshit himself from this one tho

        • Contemplative Ron

          I’m sure he’ll try.

        • snark-lurker

          i know, but i’ve felt the way…how many times? before

    • Mpeg

      And maybe, MAYBE I’ll be able to hold a civil conversation with my Trump-smitten dad again. Except he’ll insist it’s all Obama’s fault anyway…

      • Crystalclear12

        Well, you can’t fault Obama’s work ethic.
        He is always busy.

      • AndyC316

        My Dad was in the hospital on the day Sally Yates testified, and maybe it was all the drugs coursing through him, but he actually agreed with me that Trump was in a metric fuckton of trouble over Russia. My Dad voted for one Democrat in his life, JFK, and for him to admit that to me, after all the shit I’ve given to him lately, really undermines how much shit Trump and co. is in. So don’t give up him on your Dad, he might see reason too :)

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      He will destroy the US if the craven fucksticks in the GOP let him. And so far . . . Well, so far they’re being craven fucksticks.

    • grindstone

      From your lips to the jesus-of-your-choosin’s ears.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    The laptop banning thing will be great for people like me that do international consulting. Another terrific Trumpian pro-business idea.

    • OneYieldRegular

      One the bright side, you probably wouldn’t be able to use your laptop anyway while strapped into a standing position in the new “Sardine Class” section of the plane likely to be approved by the Trump FAA.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Bombardier makes both commercial jets and subway cars. The next step seems obvious.

        • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

          Well, at least you’ll get personalized delivery at the termination of your flight.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Do you think Drumpf ever touched a keyboard? I get the impression he went straight from flip-phone to smartphone, with lessons by Ivanka. I have been traveling for 20 years with a portable/laptop/notebook. This will be interesting.

  • Mary Sandoras

    “how many secret spy bugs did they bring?”

    AOTK

  • Nounverb911
    • dslindc

      It was quite chummy with the racist bits.

      • FlemmishSpy

        Y’all Qaeda.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          I’m fine, thank you.

      • Red Bird Ω

        Really. I look forward to the day when I can say the majority of Americans are nor racist.

        • Contemplative Ron

          I don’t, but maybe my grandkids can.

          • Red Bird Ω

            You underestimate the power of mixed race Americans.

          • calliecallie

            Once upon a time, I was in a writing class with an idea for a science fiction story that would take place 10 generations from now, when everyone was mixed race and racism was dead. I was told by a guy in the class, mixed race with freckles and a fro, that 10 generations would not be far enough in the future. At the time I thought that was a ridiculous thing for him, of all people, to say. Now I see he was probably right.

          • Red Bird Ω

            Well that’s because you can’t trust people with freckles. But seriously. … ten generations ago my ancestors lived on different continents. Now I’m a commenter on Wonkette. There are more mixed race people in America than is estimated because not everyone calls themselves mixed. But I’ve noticed that changing recently. My guess is the more we identify as mixed the less race will matter.

          • calliecallie

            Indeed. According to my DNA test I am 2% Jewish and 3% West Asian.

  • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

    How hard would it be to make sure that every application for the New F.B.I. Director is submitted in Russian?

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    More from Quinnipiac poll:

    Who do you trust more to tell you the truth about important issues: President Trump or the news media?
    Trump: 31%
    Media: 57%
    Trend is toward the media.

    27. If Hillary Clinton had won the 2016 presidential election instead of Donald Trump, do you think that the country would be in a better place than it is now, a worse place, or do you think it would be in about the same place as it is now?
    Better: 40%
    Worse: 33%
    Same: 25%

    77. How often do you think that President Trump and his administration make statements without evidence to support them: very often, somewhat often, not so often, or not often at all?
    Very/somewhat often: 77% (52+25)
    Not often: 19% (15+4)

    https://poll.qu.edu/national/release-detail?ReleaseID=2456

    • Oblios_Cap

      On the last question, why wasn’t “all of the time” one of the answers?

      • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

        Trademark issues.

        AOT,K™

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      So there’s a fair fraction who want a President who lies to them. Good to know the population of complete idiots, I guess.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        My thoughts exactly. I was hoping the support numbers would be lower. I guess I’m still an optimist.

        • Oblios_Cap

          The unreachable 30%.

      • grindstone

        There is a fair portion who are enjoying the “troll president”.
        There is a fair portion who believe any white man is going to be better than “O-bummer”.
        There is a fair portion who are afraid of women.

        We call these people assholes. Because we have a large and diverse populace, we have more than our fair share.

  • Oblios_Cap
  • Vincent Ricola

    I miss living in a world where the white house isn’t full of Russian spies and blackmailed republicans.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I read that the BCU dean came out and threatened students that graduation would be cancelled if they didn’t stop the boos. And yet, they persisted.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5688b269387476e6a00fbc27009975bf563e0bafb1d30d37d6043beec8952cf5.gif

    • dslindc
      • Oblios_Cap

        She was more concerned about how it might affect their fundraising than about how the students felt.

        • Contemplative Ron

          It’s a university. What do students have to do with anything?

    • FlemmishSpy

      “Let’s show Ms. DeVos the respect she deserves.”

    • Lori

      This is not quite the perfect empty threat, but it’s close. “If you don’t stop booing this speech we will….end this speech & let you leave.” I know some parents would be upset at missing the onstage diploma handout photo op, but I doubt many of the students cared. Certainly not more than they cared about making a point about DeVos.

      • Historicat

        Can you just imagine the future appeals to alumni?

        “Sure we cancelled your graduation ceremony to be nice to the crazy person who bought her cabinet position but we really want your money now!”

        • Lori

          I suspect that donation from the Prince family foundation that DeVos used to by this speaking invite (to go along w/her purchased cabinet post) may end up being a net financial loss for the school.

  • Nounverb911

    In other sportsball news, the Yankees are retiring Derek Jeter’s number on Sunday.
    https://twitter.com/PlayersTribune/status/862638743697715200

    • Congratulations, Derek!

      (Was he always so egg-shaped? I don’t remember him being so egg-shaped.)

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    A sadistic part of me can’t wait for today’s news cycle to officially start.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f2f0c53b7e6e879857d3aee50f8235f7b6bc3e375abd5f90a21922eaa497b9af.gif

  • schmannity

    Despite the reporter ban, some pictures of the Russians’ visit to the Oval Office have emerged. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e2fb69a1744a8c4baeca7b377402d67340a8a6cfc36d37e53cdfa94cc5130185.png

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      “You can’t fight in here! This is the war room!”

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Russian press was allowed in. Because they never report fake news.

      • PubOption

        By definition, Pravda can only report the truth.

        • Werewolf

          V’Izvestia nye pravda, i v’Pravda nye izvestia.

          • PubOption

            I thought that my comment might spark some discussion.

  • Chadwells

    OT: I’ll let you guys make your own jokes about this unbelievably demented mother fucker.

    “Trump: Being president ‘feels very natural to me’”

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/332891-trump-being-president-feels-very-natural-to-me

    • Mpeg

      Dominic’s given us plenty of material (as always) to work with – – thanks!!

    • Parakeetist

      Sure, lizard people practice human ways before they come to our planet.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Says the Trojan condom of presidents.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Did anybody tell Spicer he could come out of the bushes yet?

    • Chadwells

      I’ve heard scuttlebutt about Spicer….he may not be around much longer…but we’ve heard that before.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Probably gone after SNL mocks the shit out of him this week.

      • OneYieldRegular

        Tuesday may have been too much even for Sean Spicer.

  • dslindc

    We are all Anderson Cooper reacting to KaC.

    https://twitter.com/chillmage/status/862107879519682560

    • Mpeg

      Cool, but didn’t need it to take up 1/3 of my screen view :

      • dslindc

        Unpossible! Comments are not allowed.

        • Mpeg

          I owe a hearfelt f*ckin apology. I did not realize “Display Media” was an option per Disqus, to “Hide” oversized, megapixelated or random acts of pictorials in the comments. This setting has saved me now & i needn’t natter at you or others any longer. The whole entire wonkette ‘discussion’ surface has become a gigantic Comics strip IMO. Personally I only come for the dick jokes…

          • dslindc

            No offense was taken, I assure you.

  • Roman Elazar

    Laura “that wasn’t a hitler salute” Ingharam is showing the value of a UVA and Dartmouth degree:

    https://mobile.twitter.com/IngrahamAngle/status/862509994834636801

    • John Thorstensen

      As a long-time Dartmouth professor I’ve seen many wonderful folks graduate from Dartmouth and go on to truly distinguished careers. I’ll just stop there.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        Dinesh libel

        • John Thorstensen

          Ah, yes, when he was here he was known as “Distort D’Newza”.

    • Oblios_Cap

      The fact that she has a UVA degree and got that wrong is beyond unbelievable…

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        Seriously — Monticello is, like, about ten miles or so away. lol. Big mouth twunt.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Let’s drive to Hawaii!

  • dslindc
  • schmannity

    Russia: We’re not tired of winning yet.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Unpresidented!

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029046502

    Chins up Wonky-Woos!

    • Mpeg

      Unpresidented

      One of my favorite gaffes of this abominable administration, yet I keep forgetting to reference it. Maybe I’m waiting for the ultimate opportunity to come (congruous with ‘ImPEEch”….)

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yes.
        I concur.

  • Chadwells

    Anyone see Mudd completely savage Fuckface yesterday?

  • Nounverb911
  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend

    Most hippos dread going to the dentist. Not Fiona!

  • Ryan Denniston

    The Atlantic is an ocean. It would be transoceanic flights. But, laptop bans still suck. THANKS OBAMA!!1!1!!

    • From Russia with Love

      Good catch.

    • chicken thief

      But all the Moose Limbs fly across the Atlantic because duh!

  • MynameisBlarney

    Breaking News!
    Faux clutches pearls after Anderson Cooper absolutely horrible eyeroll.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Terrific article by Bob Cesca in Salon: Excerpt below.

    [THURSDAY, MAY 11, 2017 08:59 AM EDT
    Nixon didn’t have Twitter: The parallels are clear, but Trump might be more dangerous
    Trump is a lot stupider than Nixon, but he also has social media, Fox News and the undying loyalty of his fanboys
    BOB CESCA

    (Excerpt): Ultimately, we’re looking at Nixon 2.0, with significantly more power to potentially overcome whatever investigatory hurdles appear in his path. Consequently, Watergate-style investigations, as well as resistance by the opposition, must be amplified accordingly to meet the strength and persistence of the coverup. Trump’s slow-motion Saturday Night Massacre is just a prologue. What comes next will make Comey’s firing seem quaint.]

    http://www.salon.com/2017/05/11/nixon-didnt-have-twitter-the-parallels-are-clear-but-trump-might-be-more-dangerous/

    http://media.salon.com/2017/05/trump-nixon-620×412.jpg

  • ZAmazingProfessionalCrastinatr

    Steve Schmidt, a Republican strategist had this to say on MSNBC with Brian Williams:

    “My old colleague Mark Salter, a longtime chief of staff to Senator John McCain, may have hit the nail on the head today when he said… perhaps we need a Democratic Congress to protect the national security of the United States,” he said …

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/05/mainstreamed-lying-to-a-degree-that-defies-imagination-gop-strategist-steve-schmidt-slams-trump-on-comey-lies/

  • Bill D. Burger
    • From Russia with Love

      Nothing like some sealed indictments to get the presidential juices flowing!

  • snigsy

    At least Fiona seems to be sane.

  • Nounverb911
    • From Russia with Love

      Or like his “military” career, Retweet.

  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger
    • wait! what?

      Note to James:

      I’ve been to a quarry; and you, sir, are no rock.

    • From Russia with Love

      A lot of words when a simple “Eat my ass, Donald” would have sufficed.

    • chicken thief

      Pffft, get it right, Shimon – it’s only three letters!!!! C-C-N.

      ~ Mike Huckleberry

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Been coming back to this song a lot lately. It’s from the lesser known Pink Floyd album The Final Cut . The song is Fletcher Memorial. Here are the lyrics. You can see why the song is stuck on repeat in my brain.

    Take all your overgrown infants away somewhere
    And build them a home, a little place of their own.
    The Fletcher Memorial
    Home for Incurable Tyrants and Kings.

    And they can appear to themselves every day
    On closed circuit T.V.
    To make sure they’re still real.
    It’s the only connection they feel.
    “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, Reagan and Haig,
    Mr. Begin and friend, Mrs. Thatcher, and Paisly,
    “Hello Maggie!”
    Mr. Brezhnev and party.
    “Who’s the bald chap?”
    The ghost of McCarthy,
    The memories of Nixon.
    “Good-bye!”
    And now, adding color, a group of anonymous latin-
    American Meat packing glitterati.

    Did they expect us to treat them with any respect?
    They can polish their medals and sharpen their
    Smiles, and amuse themselves playing games for awhile.
    Boom boom, bang bang, lie down you’re dead.

    Safe in the permanent gaze of a cold glass eye
    With their favorite toys
    They’ll be good girls and boys
    In the Fletcher Memorial Home for colonial
    Wasters of life and limb.

    Is everyone in?
    Are you having a nice time?
    Now the final solution can be applied

  • Crystalclear12

    This is exhausting.

    Only 111 days in!!!!!
    Nonononononoooooooooo!

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Because I’m a glutton for punishment, I listened to a little of Alex Jones interview with Roger Stone. What I learned was Nixon didn’t have anything to do with Watergate, it was a globalist set-up to destroy a great man and take over this country.

    I wish I was kidding.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Oh good lord! Alex Jones plus Roger Stone? Every rat in the universe is guarding it’s anus.

    • cmd resistor

      Wow, it was bad enough watching Stone w/Chris Cuomo this morning. At least one person in the conversation was not batshit crazy.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Shanzgood

      Wot?

    • Nounverb911
    • Claire

      Jesus Christ, this guy is on a plane of stupid that I didn’t even realize existed.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        The new carriers are developing/deploying linear-accelerator technology.

        New tech takes a bit to get right. Grandpa wouldn’t have allowed the internet had he been asked.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electromagnetic_Aircraft_Launch_System

          EMALS – Electromagnetic Aircraft Launch System.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Cool. I hadn’t heard about this, but it makes sense.

          • KnaveOfSwords

            Or if you want to get the geeks excited about this, “It’s a rail-gun that shoots fighter jets.”

        • DrBigHead

          But does the old technology no longer function, or is this being driven by some really good salesperson at some tech company? What is the cost-benefit analysis for the transition? I would think that you would want something as simple as possible to operate and maintain when going into combat. The steam catapult has done its job for decades.

          And while I may not be a grandpa yet, I am old enough to be one, so that may explain my attitude.

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            The old technology is large, inefficient, expensive (but reliable), and incapable of launching lighter air frames.

          • DrBigHead

            I guess I just don’t trust the military to make rational decisions on new hardware (see the move to replace the A-10 with the still non-functioning F35)

          • Meccalopolis

            Also dangerous

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Maybe Barron can be Sec of Navy. He’s very good with the digital.

    • From Russia with Love
      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I’d like to see a piano laughed with that sucker.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          If not full-on laughed, then maybe at least chuckled.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Or maybe “launched” would be even better.

          • Opalescent Riddles

            I’ve lunched on a piano, after which I chucked the refuse.

    • therblig

      you try and work on the problems of day to day life and tend to forget what an absolutely stupid fucking moron trump is. And then, something like this appears and you can’t ignore it. And to think, he’s actually smarter than most of the people who voted for him.

      vogons – if you’re monitoring us, please send the constructor fleet asap!

    • DrBigHead

      Come on now, digital just gotta be better, right? They can call it an iCatapult.

    • bupkus231

      Gawd – that TIME interview is horrendous. This shit about the steam catapults is just one of the shit nuggets spewing from Rump.

      Are we sure TIME didn’t hire Andy Borowitz and/or “The Onion” staffers to write this?

    • Opalescent Riddles

      Here’s another turdberry from that “interview”:

      “I’ll say anybody ever see the Oval Office? Nobody’s ever said they’ve seen the Oval Office. President Obama was different. He didn’t, not a lot of people invited in. Me, I invite people in. … And it means something, the Oval Office. It means something to them. I’m telling you I’ve had big people, some of the biggest business people, you’ve seen it. They go in they’re like, they can’t believe it. And I’ve seen them cry. It’s weird.”

      Not so weird to me. If I were in the Oval Office with this so-called president, I would probably cry, too, and not tears of joy, of that I can assure you.

  • Nounverb911
  • therblig

    Fiona: “I love you, delicious looking foster mother”

  • OddMan

    Let’s see if if have this correct.
    1 – Trump investigated about his dealings with Russia
    2 – Comey is the head of the investigation and wants more staff and monies.
    3- Trump fires Comey and says it is all because Comey was nasty to Hillary.
    4- The very next day Trump invites the Russian State Press and talks to the Russian
    Foreign Minister (who just made fun of Trump firing Comey) while excluding American
    Press
    5- All the GOP line up to kiss Trumps butt and back up his Bull shit.

    You would not believe this shit if it was a bad James Bond Movie.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      And they made the word “liberal” synonymous with treason for no reason at all.The truth is clear now, the GOP is the Grand Old Propaganda party and they will destroy this country to enrich themselves. Party before Constitution with these people.

      • snark-lurker

        they all wanna get super-rich like the Russian oligarkz

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          And they still have too many cultists still rattling sabers over how Obama’s gonna be a dictator. . . Still.

        • Oblios_Cap

          God, can you imagine the way they would decorate America? I don’t to live in a gaudy country.

    • DrBigHead

      Add to #4, …but allows the Russian media to set up video and audio equipment in the Oval Office to record the event, and God knows what else.

    • Koch Blockula

      Add another one: Meets with Henry Kissinger on the same day as Russian meeting.

      • OddMan

        Oh yeah, forgot that one.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      This cannot be stressed enough: we are doomed.

    • Shibusa

      And the former deputy head of the CIA (under Obama) did say that allowing Russian (state controlled)TV equipment and people into the Oval wasn’t especially smart.

      • cmd resistor

        Tha;nks, Obama, somehow your fault, then.

    • chicken thief

      4.1 The next day we have to put up with Ms Mike Huckabee Jr, Kellyanne, and the rest of the surrogates on the teeveez. For that alone, Trump should be in-peached.

    • cmd resistor

      I kept reading that Deputy AG “memo” and I don’t think the beef is being mean to Hillary as much as deciding not to prosecute her and going public about it. Of course it is so poorly written (support for theory maybe Bannon wrote it), it’s hard to say. Because the big beef seems to be that Comey wouldn’t admit he was WRONG.

  • Darlene Underdahl

    My dad liked the term “shitass.” Man, he’d be throwing that around!

    • Shanzgood

      That sounds Southern for some reason.

      • snark-lurker

        well our ass is the “south”

        • Shanzgood

          Not of our feet

      • Darlene Underdahl

        Northern Minnesota (Fargo accent), but Dad was well-read.

    • Edith Prickly

      So did mine! I always thought it was one of his personal compound swears, but I guess it’s a dad universal.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      My dad preferred “fuckton”.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      my dad (a big-assed Okie ginger) preferred “that sum-bitch”

    • Meccalopolis

      Crooked bastards!

  • Mary Sandoras

    “Special Election Fights Expose House Republicans’ Squabbles With White House”

    It’s so cute to watch republican children fight over lunch money.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      It’s our lunch money those welfare queens are fighting over.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    http://nymag.com/selectall/2017/05/nixon-library-shades-trump-on-twitter.html ouch even Nixon supporters are throwing shade at Trump.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
  • Bill D. Burger
    • schmannity

      What did the President grab and when did he grab it?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      Snopes and Magic 8-Ball Sez: Dat Shit Be True, yo!

  • Shanzgood

    Am I the only one who doesn’t watch the hippo videos? Hippos kinda freak me out. Even baby ones.

    • snark-lurker

      me. reminds me of a guy i know & donut like

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Monster.

    • Oblios_Cap

      They’re right up there with clowns on my list of things that I am not fond of.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Fiona is adorable. You watch now.

    • Lori

      I watch them, but I think “Sure, she’s cute now but in a year she’ll be a death machine.”

  • Nounverb911
    • Bill D. Burger

      Also:::: Mike Lee should be forced to drink a gallon of Flint, Michigan water.

      • Nounverb911

        Hourly.

        • bupkus231

          I think he already has – at least he seems brain-damaged…

    • La forza del resistino

      Why dafuq would someone give up a lifetime judge gig for a 10 yr appointment that serves at the pleasure of the preznit? Oh, yeah, they would like a Gop azz sitting in Garland’s seat by the next week.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • dslindc
    • bupkus231

      Not after last night ( the Penguins closed out their series with the Caps, 4 games to 2 )

    • SeeTrain65

      Oh, my.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    So Captain bone spurs took to twitter (surprise) to call out someone for lying about the details of their service in Vietnam.

    How do those bone spurs taste, Donnie? You should know since you kjeep sticking your foot in your mouth.

  • La forza del resistino

    Betsy bombs at Bethune. DeVos/Prince Family Foundation wants their donation back from the school

  • schmannity

    Mark Felt is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more.

    • laughingnome

      Felt. He’s soft. Not worried.

      • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

        A touching tribute.

      • I think your logic is kind of fuzzy.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    He could only wish he was as cunning as Nixon — and look what happened to Nixon. The intelligence community hates this guy. He is going down. Bank on it. He is dirty and a fucking traitor.

    • Darlene Underdahl

      Yep. They’ll get him even if no one else does.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        And after he’s out as president, they’ll keep digging and leaking shit. For-evah.

        Do NOT piss off the intelligence community or the FBI.

  • Nounverb911
  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    Dipshit Conservative Logic:

    November: “Lock her up!”
    December: “Lock her up!”
    January: “Lock her up!”
    February: “Lock her up!”
    March: “Lock her up!”
    April: “Lock her up!”
    May: “It’s outrageous how mean Comey was to Hillary!
    June: “Lock her up!”

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend
  • Bill D. Burger

    In case you missed it, here is Anderson Cooper rolling his eyes at Kellyanne Conway’s ridiculous excuses related to Trump firing Comey.
    It’s got the FUX News and the Rightie WOOWOO fucks all up in arms today. lmao

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C_gAsb5XYAIbSAV.jpg

    • Chadwells

      Did you also see that she is now accusing him of sexism?! HAH! Can a gay man be accused of sexism?

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        In order for it to be sexism, does KaC have to be, y’know, human first?

        • Chadwells

          Another fantastic question!!!

        • Opalescent Riddles

          SPECIEISM!

    • JohnBull

      I am so sick of these multimillionaire, arrogant coastal elites thinking they know more than everyday Americans out here in flyover country.
      Anderson Cooper, however, is pretty cool.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        And I have seen him nothing but a towel (and stood buck naked next to him) at my gym…Personally, he doesn’t do that much for me but his BF does.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack
    • Opalescent Riddles

      And the condescending tone and phrasing and lies she fobs onto the whole country is not disrespectful HOW?

  • Pisto75666
    • Roni Raven

      It’s hilarious until you realize this man has access to the nuclear codes.

      • Pisto75666

        They don’t even let him read negative things about himself. I doubt he has access to ANYTHING besides his TV remote and his phone.

  • Nounverb911
    • wait! what?

      Spicer’s Petard – A christian-grunge glam band that only does Doris Day covers.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Poor Betsy…saving all those impoverished black kids with Jesus Academy vouchers, and look at the thanks she gets!

  • Bill D. Burger

    One of the more telling tweets

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C_fpBNdXkAEj76_.jpg

  • Mr. Blobfish

    So. Here’s the thing.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    “Department of Useless Leaks.”
    “Hello. I just wanted you to know that I totally threatened to resign yesterday because of the way the administration blamed me for firing Comey.”
    “But you didn’t.”
    “No, but I threatened to. I thought you should know that.”
    “Did you also threaten to close the barn door after the horse got out?”
    “I don’t follow you. . .”

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      I wish I could like this more than once.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I’ll give you an extra upfist, and you can share it with Matt.

  • Bill D. Burger

    A Section of the first article of impeachment drawn up during Watergate /Nixon ..

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C_folZ3WsAAJllq.jpg

    • snark-lurker

      “But you can’t Prove anything.”

      –fuckhead

  • Lulu Mac
    • snark-lurker

      oh that’s a good one

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Nounverb911
    • TJ Barke

      Wake up, fucktards, Republicans don’t care about any of you. You’re just votes on a ballot to them.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The asshole had the fucking gaul to bitch about his constituents not treating him with respect. He’s fortunate he did not get treated with barbecue sauce.

    • therblig

      Au Jus – “Jew’s Gold”?

      I knew they were out to get him.

    • artem1s

      gotta say this one is epic. how much longer can the MSM pretend that the GOP base isn’t pissed off about ACA and even the Russia/Comey stuff?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    White House Deputy Press Secretary Sarah Fuckface Sanders tryout for Spicer’s job is going well, don’t you think?

    • Lulu Mac
      • Villago Delenda Est

        You bet your sweep bippy I upfisted this last night on the Twitter Machine.

    • Mary Sandoras

      Needz moar lies.

    • La forza del resistino

      Just saw her on NBC. The WH musta bought a few gallons of Estee Lauder product and gave her something between a city and a clown face.

      • cmd resistor

        So is Spicer out for the rest of the week doing military?

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Too many “atrocities.”

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      They’ll be killing some dogs in celebration back at the Huckabee Pedo Compound if she gets the job.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      She went on television and lied her ass off … ON HER DAUGHTER’S BIRTHDAY!

  • William
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Out of all these, Sid seems the most rational choice.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Where has the Crazy Old Man been? Cyber-securing us?

  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger

    OT…but just made me laugh:

    “All Occasion Card”

    https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/812B0YMzJ2L._SL1500_.jpg

  • Chadwells

    Yeah…no. That’s what’s actually going to remove you from office and put you in jail, jerkoff.

    “Donald Trump Now Claims He Might Release His Tax Returns ‘After I’m Out Of Office’”

    http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_59144dace4b030d4f1f010fc?ir=Politics&utm_hp_ref=politics

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Suuuuuuuure.
      [insert Anderson Cooper eyeroll gif here]

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The Anderson Cooper eyeroll is EPIC!

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          It’s one of my most favorite things to come out of this clusterfuck of a farce of a “presidential” administration’s tenure.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You’re going down, Shitgibbon. Your ass is grass and the Constitution is the lawnmower.

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      So… next Friday? I’m cool with that.

    • That’s from the economist “interview” with trump that dropped today.

      Scary read.

      http://www.economist.com/Trumptranscript

      • Chadwells

        Where he lectured an ACTUAL economist on how the economy works….yeah, I don’t need to be triggered this early!!! Christ…

  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger
    • Rasilom

      Both of them Katie?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • chicken thief

    Let’s not get all hyperbolic about the Russian film crew in the Oval Office, mkay. The soon to be vetted, maybe, if they get around to filling out the paperwork, official Oval Office cleaning crew, Sergey and Ivan, said the film crew are ‘ok’. No problem. Nothing to see here so just move on. Or at least I think that’s what they said. I don’t speak Russian.

    • La forza del resistino

      Vlad hopes Donald’s allergies don’t act up with the addition of his gift of all the new potted plants.

    • chascates

      Those images will be shown all over the world, illustrating:
      a. America isn’t exceptional, just another thug country
      b. Russia has no enemies, they’re friends with everyone
      c. Putin is great, long live Putin

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        The White House is apparently livid – they were assured that the photos would not be posted. Apparently they’re mad that someone lied to them rather than them lying to everyone else.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          That’s their whole M.O.; the REAL problem is people leaking evidence of their criminality, not the crimes.

          • snark-lurker

            no, the REAL problem is Congress shrugging at ALL THAT EVIDENCE!

          • chicken thief

            Agreed. Mitch “The President Can Do What He Wants” McConnell should rot in hell for his complicity.

          • chortlingdingo

            I’m just shocked he hasn’t burst into flames from sheer hypocrisy.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          This happens when everyone in the WH is a toady, lickspittle, or turd-polisher with no actual real-world experience of what a hostile foreign government will do. The fact that none of them seem to have yet realized that the Russians are playing 45 like a fiddle boggles the mind.

        • Today, the US became Poland in a “Polandball” comic.

          https://cdn.drawception.com/images/panels/2016/1-16/AFRTStPnXX-2.png

    • To be fair, nothing of intelligence is coming out of the White House anyway.

  • William
    • Bill D. Burger

      The new director. ___ Tiffany will be crushed. That job was hers!
      rotfl

    • wait! what?

      He’s also trying out to replace Angus Young.

      • He know’s “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” by heart.

        • Ghenghis McCann

          He’s happy to do Dirty Deeds for you, but when it comes to paying back the favour, it’s not cheap.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • snark-lurker

      buy what is that number? he just keeps going, and going, and going…

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Rosenstein self borked. What a idiot. What a moran.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      but, but, but he threatened to resign — insert Anderson eyeroll

      • puredog

        Does he have absurdly tiny white forepaws, and did he stamp them in pique?

  • AJ Milne

    Pod Save The World did a special thing yesterday on the Comey thing. I know I keep saying stuff like this, but worthwhile as frequently. Don’t really have time to scratch out all take homes, but generally: former DOJ Matthew Miller on how _very_ fucking not good is this kinda full on attack on DOJ independence.

    … also, America, from beyond your borders, being a bit rushed, I _will_ still briefly say: this looks like a code blue moment for your democracy if there ever were one.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Should be on the vehicles of everyone who did not vote for Cheetolini.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C_VyD3rXUAUiZSI.jpg

  • William
  • chascates

    I’m just afraid Trump will start a war to change the subject.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish
    • ExecutorElassus

      Oh don’t worry: VP Pence is caught up in this, too (remember, he was head of the transition team, knew about Flynn and did nothing, and then lied about it). Good twitter account to follow is @20committee: he has inside dirt, and says “20-40” high-level officials are going to jail.
      He seems to think we won’t even get stuck with “President Ryan”, but with someone much further down the food chain.
      Hooooo boy, this is going to be a wild ride. Strap in!

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Seriously, who the fuck let Russian state-news photographers into the Oval Office yesterday, and how many secret spy bugs did they bring?

    And their defense? “What, you don’t expect us to meet with the Russians?”

    THAT’S NOT THE PROBLEM! You have a huge building! You could have used any other room in the building except the Oval and it probably would not have been a big deal.

  • William
    • Ryan Denniston

      Sadly, my guess is that he is not the wealthiest. That is, unless you include Russian laundered money.

    • eyelashviper

      MOAR WINNING!!!
      Tired of it yet?

    • therblig

      “I shoulda been a contender” – William Henry Harrison

    • Doug Langley

      Now all he has to do is start WWIII and James Buchanan is off the hook, too.

    • SeeTrain65

      It took less time than that. Jus’ sayin.’

      • William

        Donald You had ONE job!
        Sincerely
        Vlad:

  • TJ Barke

    Kissinger kinda looks like an old deflating gnome…

  • Ryan Denniston
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Word has it that Trump spends a lot of time screaming at the teevee over the Russia investigation. Funny…he and I have that in common, though for vastly different reasons.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    We’ve come here to chew bubblegum and specially prosecute, and we’re all outta bubblegum.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/739074d803f20d0eb7192afe2c747a07a5707f80d35f3fe12bd10eb51d06e768.jpg

  • TheGrandWazoo2
  • Proud Liberal

    Trump invited Russians and Russian press into the Oval Office. Denied US Press access. This is chilling and should make all of us FUCKING ANGRY!

    • eyelashviper

      My anger meter has burned out 723 times since the election, and I am going broke replacing it.

      • Proud Liberal

        This shit can’t go on any longer. It’s unbelievable what people are allowing to happen.

      • Crystalclear12

        Replace it with the Fuck It tm button. Much bigger scale.
        Mine has pegged a couple of times but not broken

    • artem1s

      swear to Jeebus, they are claiming they got tricked by those tricksy Russkies
      http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2017/05/idiot-king-part-ii
      you can’t make up people this stoopid

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • TJ Barke

      One party already is, fucknuts, it’s just impossible for them to look nonpartisan while doing it.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Another shithead says what?

    • Antonin Dvorak

      That’s nice, but I still don’t trust him.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Hell, I don’t even think it’s nice ;)

        • puredog

          Really. Now if he had called for a special prosecutor, I’d have sat up and taken notice. Even though he would still be a shitbird, it would be a good sign if Trump were losing the shitbirds.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Impersonating a “reasonable centrist” is obviously Kasich’s 2020 election strategy.

      • artem1s

        or worse, appointed to VP and eventually P when the impeachment/25th hammer falls. This jackass has been betting on this scenario since June of last year. He is a fucking snake in the grass and will ride C+ Augustus ‘regular guy I’d like to have a beer with’ coat tails into the WH.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I think Trump is too much of a butthurt ego monster for that. The whole mess at the convention has to be a shining jewel in his grievance hoard.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            But all the fabulous celebrities….

          • artem1s

            yea, but Trump isn’t going to have a say in who replaces him. Pence has no credibility with the GOP. They hate him almost as much as Cruz. Pence will be forced to appoint a ‘sane, fiscally responsible’ GOPer as VP. Kasich is the banking worlds wet dream candidate. Better even than Mittbott2020, new and improved assholishness. And he has proven he can win Ohio. He is the dream replacement for the Monster That Was Worse Than W! Kasich is that ‘smart’ amoral candidate that we have all been afraid of since DJT appeared on the scene. Be afraid, be very fucking afraid.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          His appeal is “I’m slightly less odious than the others”. What a strategery.

          • artem1s

            it’s worked for him over and over. Not much to crow over in Ohio. But he won the governors seat even with Lehman Brothers, Abramoff and Coingate on his back. The suburban, gated communities, ‘reasonable’ Rethugs love this guy.

      • Proud Liberal

        Yeah, his policies on women won’t fly.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          When it comes to women, his idea of reasonable centrist is that he won’t have them stoned to death for adultery or abortioning.

          • Proud Liberal

            Truth.

          • Chris

            Or rape.

    • Crystalclear12

      Well, it was only a matter of time before “both sides” raised its ugly head.

    • Al Swearengen

      His comic book character would be “The Enabler”. Like all the quisling Republican moderates, he talks pretty, then slips into the closet when trouble strikes. And stays there.

    • I have a secret theory about John Kasich’s buddy-buddy behavior. Get me drunk, I’ll tell a story, and you’ll never look at him the same way again.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Remind me to send you a bottle one of these days :)

      • SeeTrain65

        He’s a phony? Always works for me.

  • artem1s

    JFC, so apparently we are going to be treated to an episode of When Losers Collide on CNN. http://www.cleveland.com/politics/index.ssf/2017/05/john_kasich_to_appear_on_cnn_d.html
    Christ on a sidecar. Will you just fucking go away Bernie? YOU DO NOT SPEAK FOR THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY. On the other hand, it is helpful to have all the assholes in one room where you can keep an eye on them. FFS

    • Proud Liberal

      FFS! Debate what???? What the fuck is going on????

      • TJ Barke

        Probably Trumpism versus New Dealism.

    • snark-lurker

      he has never claimed to be a democrat and he is not holding a gun to anyones head to be given a platform

  • Lulu Mac
  • Bill D. Burger
  • MynameisBlarney

    The FBI”s acting directors testimony…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgdzH9d-JO0

    • eyelashviper

      This should be veeeery interesting.

  • Marion in Savannah

    Just got back from a dentist appointment to have my teeth cleaned to find Fiona getting her dental checkup. She seemed to enjoy it more than I did…

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • rosenbomb

      Nothing shows credibility more than the phrase “look it up”

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Missing link? Just look at the photos from the Oval Office yesterday. Sheesh!

    • Internet Hitler

      Snake Eyes is A dumb.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Those two Sergeys are trump’s Russian pee hookers?? GROSS

    • Al Swearengen

      They’re “The Borises” in our Slavic Office Space. They were there to see what exactly it is that Trump does here.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        “Fucked if we know, Mr Putin.”

  • Proud Liberal
    • Antonin Dvorak

      It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

      • Al Swearengen

        People are sayin’ is what I’m sayin’.

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        If you follow Josh Marshall, no speculation is really necessary…

    • Bill D. Burger

      It’s been all over the tubes of the interweb. It’s TRUE!

    • MynameisBlarney
    • Edith Prickly

      That seems very plausible, given Trumpolini’s paranoia about releasing his tax returns.

      • H0mer0

        why would anyone expect him to have accurately done his taxes? He probably did the same thing as that idiotic “doctor’s statement.”

    • Chris

      Follow the money. Good advice with Nixon, essential with Trump.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend
  • MynameisBlarney

    LOL

    The poor bastards just don’t know when they’ve been beaten. Take note of the downvotes.

    Also, too: you can downvote and comment without having to sign up.
    I troll their occasionally.

    http://cheezburger.com/9033574912/i-am-growing-stronger#comments

    • Certified Green Bastard

      Oh, lookit that: I got to down vote twice. Oops.

  • The Librarian

    Babby Fiona is getting teefs!

  • Keith Taylor

    I. Could. Not. Believe. This. Makes me wonder if there’s such a thing as “Fake News” after all. Betsy DeVos was slated to receive an honorary degree — FROM BETHUNE COOKMAN! — when she was booed and students turned their backs? I’m not astounded by that last bit. Just that DeVos was going to receive an honorary degree at all, from that particular seat of learning. I understand she has a Bachelor of Arts already, which is hard to believe also.
    The hero of Sabatini’s SCARAMOUCHE should be with us today. He’d appreciate this. “He was born with a gift for laughter and a sense that the world was mad.”

    • I’m beginning to think these Trumpanzees do this intentionally so they have footage to show how MEAN liberals are to them.

      Never mind – that’s EXACTLY why they do it.

    • RugzYaBurnt

      Yeah, she did not earn that doctoral hood she was wearing. *academic side eye*

  • Zyxomma

    The Here/Now program at NYCB last night was so terrific I’m still on a high from it. Thanks, cousin. Oh, and Donnie? ITMFA.

  • Yr. Gma

    I have missed Fiona. Thanks, Dominic!

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance
  • Bill Slider

    I see lots of lemonade and watermelon as the White House barbecues itself over the summer

  • Economist interview with trump.

    http://www.economist.com/Trumptranscript

    There is something really wrong with his brain.

    • mancityRed6

      I haven’t even gotten that far and this sticks out like a thumb in the eye:
      “They called separately ten minutes apart. I just put down the phone with the president of Mexico when the prime minister of Canada called. And they both asked almost identical questions. “We would like to know if it would be possible to negotiate as opposed to a termination.” And I said, “Yes, it is. Absolutely.””

      Yeah, there’s no way they talked first, huh?

      • jaspersdad

        Canadian media reports that trump’s advisers persuaded Trudeau to call trump and ask him not to shred NAFTA. I imagine they did the same with Mexico.

        http://news.nationalpost.com/news/canada/canadian-politics/white-house-urged-trudeau-to-call-trump-over-nafta-threat

        • mancityRed6

          I honestly wouldn’t have been surprised if one took a trip and they both called from the same phone.
          The ten minutes was how long it took to stop laughing.

          • H0mer0

            (reminds me of SNL when Baldwin playing Trump crank called Pena and tried to get him on the old “Loser say what” ploy to agree to pay for the wall. )

  • David Chaillou

    With Bannon and Kushner camping there on a permanent basis, who cares about additional bugs in the oval office?

    • Jim Johnson

      Good point. We need vermin control. Maybe rat poison.

  • Emberae

    And somewhere in the back of Trump’s mind (a.k.a. the sprawling suburbs of Cum-Dumpster City), he’s thinking that by firing Comey, he can start taking steps now to ensure that if need be, he can effectively spin…
    ‘Kicked out of office!’ into
    ‘Not a loser!’ (with vague hints at martyrdom).
    …for his very special fanbase.

    Fun steps to delicious absolution:
    – Fire James Comey
    – Throw FBI onto a mess of sloppiness and bureaucracy
    – (Destroy evidence?)
    – Count on a rushed and flawed investigation report
    – Tweet that the crappy report is clearly PROOF of bias
    – Be forced from office ’cause of “Plot against me”

    In which case, he wouldn’t have to keep playing President, wouldn’t lose face (…allegedly), and would get to blame the new administration for the shit-stain Pollocks he dribbled over all our faces, while still putting a nostalgic tear in the eye of every confused supporter for years to come.

    The sad thing is that if he remains in office, it just means he got away with it anyway.

  • eyelashviper

    When will someone PLEASE bring on the ketamine dart gun, the strait jacket, and whatever else it takes to remove this Orange Menace from our midst?
    Every hour has a new piece of insanity rolling out of the WH.
    This, now, the Hoofwanking Shitgibbon takes credit for the term “priming the pump”

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/05/god-save-us-all-the-internet-is-bewildered-by-trumps-claim-that-he-coined-the-phrase-priming-the-pump/?comments=disqus

    • Jim Johnson

      That phrase only makes sense in the context of “pumping” a massive re-distribution of wealth away from those who need help towards those who are filthy rich and really don’t need any more money. The Shitgibbon’s wealth pump must be “primed” since this is a very unnatural flow for wealth.

      • H0mer0

        “priming the pump” is a phrase also used with spray medications and column chromatography/protein purification (can’t let the columns run dry while boss/professor is watching.)
        The Donald can take credit for anything he wants, I just want him to go away more than I want Sarah Palin and Fuckabee(s) to STFU.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Thank you Mr. Gwinn. Very good work.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    I’m actually really feeling bad for that little hippo. My kid is teething, but he doesn’t have to sprout tusks.

    • H0mer0

      they are so adorable (well, all the time unless you’re sleep-deprived) but I have a few pictures of one of them with the teething face.

  • Chris

    Are we using this as an open thread? If we are, great! If we aren’t, this is way off topic,
    I’m still on my quest for $125 total food costs for a month. I’m cooking for one but it also includes food for two cats, one homeless gray cat and random possums/raccoons who eat the outdoor cats kibble. With $20 for the monthly kibble costs, $15 for wet food and about $5 for catnip they are seriously making inroads into the budget. Until I started this project, I hadn’t realized how much I was spending on these items or frankly, how much food for me I was throwing out.
    Today’s lunch menu was my version of potatoes O’Brien which includes ground beef and mushroom sauce, cucumber and onion salad with a strawberry/blueberry fruit cup.

    • Open Thread? Pretty much!

      Food on the cheap? YOU’RE IN LUCK! Some people will say you can cheat and use supplements or vitamins, but ignore them because if you eat proper you can avoid it. The secret is portion size, hydration, and BYO containers.

      I’ve spent several years doing the rice and beans thing, and it’s not at all tasty or filling, but it does sustain you. Rice and lentils are a super cheap combination for protein (they’re available in abundance all over the world for a reason) but you also NEED vegetables. You’ll want creative, and learn to eat your mistakes.

      Also, protip, steam your veggies, this helps save calories, vitamins, and also reduces the need for a lot of salt and oil. This was my route because not only was flat broke, I was also trying to lose weight.

      Google around for frugal meal prep recipes. There’s some really obscure forums on reddit with active communities, and that’s probably the best place to start. Also, cats CAN eat regular healthy people food instead of kibble (if you choose to go that route), so look around and start making a list of things that are healthy for both you and the cats.
      A few suggestions…
      https://www.google.com/search?q=reddit+eat+cheap+and+healthy&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8#q=frugal+meal+prep
      https://www.google.com/search?q=reddit+eat+cheap+and+healthy&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8
      https://www.reddit.com/r/7dollardinners/
      https://www.reddit.com/r/EatCheapAndHealthy/

      • C4TWOMAN

        I must disagree on your point about vitamins and supplements. They are essential in not developing any deficiencies. Even most people with plenty of money don’t have the time to cook every single meal with 100% balanced nutrition from scratch. Most athletes have a trainer/wife doing this as a full time job.

        I will agree it is not a reason to “cheat”. You should try to do everything you can to get good nutrition in. But the supplements are your nutritional safety net. If you have ever had a deficiency, it takes so long to recover you never want to chance it again.

        Of course if this is a project, trying both ways out will be informative.
        If this is fer realzies, buy the supplements, even if it’s juts one multi. Go on Amazon and get it cheap.

      • Chris

        Thank you for the suggestions as I will check them out. It seems to me that the keys to cheap nutritious meals is planning with what is in season and what is on special. If you are lucky enough to have a Piggly Wiggly in your area, make the point to shop there. Meat, fresh vegtables (suprising wide selection), and sauces (these are uneven). When I say they are inexpensive, I mean they are amazingly inexpensive. $1.65 to $1.85 a pound for ground beef, 85 cents to $1.15 per pound for mis-cut chicken breasts. Hard to feel you are depriving yourself when you are eating Salisbury steak, buttered noodles, tossed salad loaded with veggies and corn bread muffins and chocolate cake. You can make a scratch 1 layer chocolate cake w/chocolate frosting for about a dollar and it tastes better than box. I usually try to only eat one cornbread muffin but I usually pig out on two. The rest I crumble for corn bread dressing to by used with some of the chicken breasts I’ve cooked and frozen.
        It takes effort to plan out meals and cook them at home. I’ve found that if I suck it up and cook, prepare the meats I purchase, prep vegetables as soon as I bring them home I end up using them rather than throwing them out. I make my homemade frozen dinners and keeping them to around a $1 a dinner means I eat well and I don’t feel deprived. Also, make it look pretty. This shouldn’t matter but it makes it look like a ‘real’ meal. For $5 at the dollar store you can buy placemat, plate, bread plate, salad bowl. I use coordinating dish towels as napkins.
        As for cats eating regular healthy people food, well you’ve never met Puff. I might be able to pull that with Bleach Kitty or the homeless kitty, gray cat but never with Puff. She doesn’t gets the food she likes when she expects it? She will pee on my bed. Her litter box not cleaned twice a day, the same. I allow Bleach Kitty to use it? Ditto. It is her go to expression of disdain and anger.

    • C4TWOMAN

      So this is a voluntary project? Not an IRL privation situation? Just asking for clarity.

      If this is fer realzies look into whether you qualify for food stamps. Seriously, check into it. It helped me for 6 months during a really bad time. It’ll free up cash for the cat food, etc.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Get rid of the wet cat food, they don’t need it (unless vet says otherwise). Catnip? Grow your own…

      • Chris

        Twice a week per my vet. I’ve tried growing catnip (and mint) outdoors and indoors and it is not safe from indoor or outdoor cats. I’ve given up on it. And yes, I am whipped. I remind myself that at least I don’t have to save to send them to college.

        • Jonny On Maui

          There’s that of course. Can you just not grow the catnip or is it all demolished by the cats? I put a metal basket over the outside catnip, well anchored. Only the stuff that makes it thru the basket weave gets eaten.

          I used to have a black thumb too, tortured and killed plants. It’s green now, I learned about over watering. I was basically waterboarding my plants…

          • Chris

            Actually I can grow other stuff and I’ve tried the metal basket but what the cats don’t take out the possums and raccoons do. While funny (you’ve not had fun like watching a raccoon high on catnip dance) it gets expensive.

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    WTF is with the weird triangle thing he does with his tiny hands when he sits? He is doing that in every photo.

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