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You all know what James Comey looks like anyway.

So, don’t read anything into this, folks, but in an interesting bit of completely coincidental timing, it turns out that just a few days before he was shitcanned by Donald Trump, former FBI director James Comey asked Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein to approve “a significant increase in resources for the bureau’s investigation into Russia’s interference in the presidential election,” according to three anonymous “congressional officials” who spoke to the New York Times. By pure coincidence, Rob Rosenstein wrote up that excellent letter about how mean Comey was to Hillary Clinton, which simply was the last straw in deciding Donald Trump to fire Comey, although as we learned in Wednesday’s White House briefing, Trump had actually lost confidence in Comey from Day One.

Although Comey briefed several members of Congress about the request to fund an expanded investigation, Justice Department spokesperson Sarah Isgur Flores was quite certain Comey made no such request, because as everyone knows, Russia is a ruse:

[Flores] said “the idea that he asked for more funding” for the Russia investigation was “totally false.” She did not elaborate.

The Los Angeles Times also found another DOJ spokesperson to say almost exactly the same thing:

“Totally false,” said Ian Prior. Comey “never made the request for more resources and money for the Russia investigations.”

Strangely, the LA Times also found a congressional staffer who said, yes, Comey had requested “significant increase in resources.” Weird thing to say about a request that never happened! If you can’t trust two Trump administration spokespeople, who can you trust? Maybe a used car salesperson, a late-night TV infomercial, or anyone on “Fox & Friends.”

According to Politico, the briefing “included Senate Intelligence Committee leaders Richard Burr and Mark Warner along with Comey[.]” In the briefing, Comey

told the senators that the inquiry had been effectively stalled due to a lack of access to prosecutors and because there was no one at the Justice Department to guide the probe forward.

The Failing New York Times says when Comey briefed the members of Congress about the request that he obviously never made, he said he’d become frustrated by the resources the FBI had been given to pursue the investigation. The officials who spoke to the Times said he had requested the additional funding to “accelerate the investigation,” and had assumed Rosenstein would support his efforts. The story says it’s not clear whether Rosenstein responded to Comey’s request positively, negatively, or with a mumbled excuse about having to wash his hair, and it’s also unclear whether the White House knew of it.

The Times was also very careful to note:

The timing of Mr. Comey’s request is not clear-cut evidence that his firing was related to the Russia investigation. But it is certain to fuel bipartisan criticism that President Trump appeared to be meddling in an investigation that had the potential to damage his presidency.

Yeah, we guess it might fuel criticism, at that. Or at the very least result in some angry Tweets from the president, who’ll insist that since the DOJ denies such a request occurred, the Times made up its sources like it always does.

The Washington Post asked California Senator Dianne Feinstein, ranking Democrat on the Judiciary Committee, if she’d been briefed on the matter by Comey, and she was completely “can’t tell you or I’d have to kill you” in reply: “I was not. But I understand that there have been additional requests. That’s all I can say.”

Huh! The FBI isn’t saying anything, and just because several news outlets found sources in Congress who confirmed Comey briefed them about his request, we’re going to withhold judgment on this story, since after all as Democrats we’re dancing in the streets over Comey’s firing, just like Trump said we would be.

Nahhh, we wouldn’t trust a Trump spokespeople as far as we could throw them, and we were the worst fielder in Little League. Let the leaks begin!

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  • anwisok
    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Thank you for your service…

      • anwisok

        *bows* Much less likely to get banhammered this way, also too.

        • could always redact yourself. Like…
          I would like to [redacted] and then [redacted] that lousy fucking traitorous son of a bitch, and when he is [redacted] and [redacted] finish him off with a [redacted] of votes!

  • HoldonKaitlaninEncinitas

    DiFi sure seems stoic about the actual firing, though. Her comment was kind of well, shoot, let’s pick another guy. It’s a day.

    • Seek

      And that surprises you why? DiFi is close to useless

  • ManchuCandidate

    Comey also complained to Congress that Trump stole his Red Swingline Stapler and was upset that the TPS reports weren’t properly filed.

    http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view4/1418494/office-space-o.gif

    A later memo showed his dismay that Trump and some guys stole the office printer and beat it down like Putin does his opponents.

  • whitroth

    “The potential to damage his Presidency”? How could it be more damaged, short of his being impeached (the sooner the better)?!

  • I wonder which federal penitentiary will be the site for the Trump Presidential library?

    • whitroth

      Please, please: Levenworth.

      • I guess that depends upon whether they convict him of money laundering, treason, or both.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Orange Is The New Trump (also the Old Trump.)

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      It will be the first presidential library with a porn section.

      • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

        Jay Leno Stupid Bill Clinton joke Libel!

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          He said that about Bill? I…okay…fair enough. Though in Dolt 45’s case I was thinking of a section dedicated to pictures of his third wife.

          • SterWonk

            “Dolt 45” — You Magnificent Bastard! How have I never heard that one before? I’m totally stealing that. Well played!

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            Not me. I stole it from another wonker who said, “We’re all in this together.”

    • elviouslyqueer

      I’m going with AOT, K.

      • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

        Yeah, it’s pretty easy to make extra copies of that one coloring book.

    • schmannity
  • whitroth

    Oh, and Presidential spokeperson? Which one, since he seem to be going through them at about 331/3 per administration-month.

  • DeliaJones

    I woke up to a picture of Trump sitting next to Kissinger on CNN’s front page and I want to kiss the person who did that.

    • oh no, that was not a photoshop. Ill Douchebag thought that would be a good idea, at this point, to pose next to Kissyface

      • doktorzoom

        It’ll really be time to worry when he starts wandering the halls of the White House at 3 AM, praying to the painting of Lincoln (who was a Republican, did you know?), and muttering “Where’s my Jew?”

        • Red Bird Ω

          Then someone will tell him his daughter’s in her office.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    [Flores] said “the idea that he asked for more funding” for the Russia investigation was “totally false.” She did not elaborate.

    The fact that he asked for more funding, on the other hand…

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Did something tear? I thought I could hear something tearing…..there it goes again….did you hear that?…

    • Creepoman

      I hear the sounds of a shredder choking on a large, single-page, hand-written sheet of parchment.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Comey “never made the request for more resources and money for the Russia investigations.”

    Request? No. Demand? Well…

  • mrFawkes

    Here’s the current Vegas odds on Trump’s pick to replace Comey.
    1) Sheriff David Clarke 5 to 1
    2) Rudy Guilliani 8 to 1
    3) Chuck Norris 12 to 1
    4) Scott Baio 20 to 1
    5) Ted Nugent 24 to 1
    6) Joe Arpaio 25 to 1
    7) Gary Busey 40 to 1
    8) Boss Hogg 50 to 1
    9) Jerad Kushner 50 to 1
    10) Sally Yates 1,000,000 to 1

    • I’d still put my money on Sally Yates to win. At life.

      • mrFawkes

        And winnin an election in her home state of Georgia.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Alright! My bet on Steven Seagal is going to pay big money if he’s not even listed! He’s a big Putin-Popper and was recently banned from Ukraine.

      • mrFawkes

        Nice catch. Arpaio is actually Seagal in disguise.

    • elviouslyqueer

      What? No love for Kid Rock? Sad! Weak!

      • mrFawkes

        When he returns from his three-week bender with $arah, his odds will improve.

      • goingohm

        Correct. The background check on the Kid confirmed he is both sad and weak.

    • Crank Tango

      No Steven Seagal?

    • Joe Beese

      He’s here to restore confidence in the Justice Department. (And get those Duke boys.)

      http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iDrq-rEpt9k/VNgyNXInSBI/AAAAAAAA9xA/-D9dxbLH8iE/s1600/77d0cb06-29d8-4440-bce1-4f35fce256c4.jpg

    • Lyly Sirivong

      It has to be Jared. He’s got a lot of free time.

      • mrFawkes

        Jared is the Swiss Army knife of Trumpistan. He’s like McGyver minus the skills, brains, experience and wherewithall.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      James K. Kallstrom, you heard it here first

      • mrFawkes

        He’d be a lock if he had one more k in his name.

    • Nockular cavity

      How about that fine All-American law enforcer Schmadimir Mutin?

    • cmd resistor

      I saw a Reuters story, I think, that listed 4 FBI guys being considered for “interim” job, one being McCabe, the assistant guy now who would be acting. I don’t know how reliable the story was. Also, too, if true probably an acknowledgement that it might take a while to get someone confirmed, especially if that person is A Idiot, as one would expect Trump to pick.

      • mrFawkes

        My spidey sense is saying Trey Gowdy.

    • goingohm

      Barron to place. Jared to show. Rudy to “win.”

  • Asking the boss’s people for more money to investigate the boss’s people.

    I would have enjoyed being in on that meeting.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    The utter shitshow that is our government left me kind of giddy last night, but now that the shock has worn off, I’m just bored with how long it will take before I can see Jeff Sessions in shackles.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Or all of us here also too.

    • elviouslyqueer

      I’m looking forward to the entire administration being perp walked the length of Pennsylvania Avenue.

      • Ωbjectifier

        It will be a better turnout than inauguration day!

      • Edith Prickly

        The Trail of Turds.

      • dlemex

        I’d drive up to watch that… ROAD TRIP!

        • arglebargle

          Drinky thingy

          • dlemex

            And bring everyone back for a beach party after it’s over!

    • goingohm

      Somebody order elf shackles.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        I’ll bet the LOTR prop department has some hobbit versions left over.

  • Joe Beese

    When (most of) the Senate Democrats voted to confirm Rosenstein, they did so despite their dissatisfaction with his lack of a commitment to a special prosecutor, but also because he promised to assign one if it became clear one was needed. That Rosenstein then proceeded, almost immediately, to recommend the termination of the man overseeing the investigation is a jarring turn of events. He not only cut the head off of the investigation but is in a position to make the decision whether to bring any charges. That’s not what the Democrats thought they were signing up for when they gave him their confidence.

    http://www.boomantribune.com/story/2017/5/10/103854/317

    Democrats sure are stupid, huh?

    • Marceline

      Seriously. That was my biggest complaint about Obama in his first term. He just kept taking these fuckers at their word.

      • aureolaborealis

        “So if we just include these horrific, regressive provisions in the ACA, you say you’ll vote for it? I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE YOU!”

    • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

      “Maybe, just maybe, next time a Rethuglican promises something they’ll actually mean it.”

      – nearly every goddamn elected Democrat.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Lies! Joe Manchin never says that!

    • Michael Smith

      I think its in the post-LBJ character of the Democratic Party. LBJ was able to get liberal reforms passed with cleverness and ruthlessness. Substantively, he was a great domestic liberal. Imagewise, he was not – and this got unfortunately tied to Vietnam.

      Since Johnson, we’ve rarely seen a Democrat who proudly projects dominance over other politicians and who follows through on threats to destroy the careers of fellow Democrats who don’t fall in line.

      • Old town Urbandale

        Didn’t Johnson say, “Never trust a man unless you’ve got his dick in your pocket” or something like that?

      • Ωbjectifier

        “LBJ was able to get liberal reforms passed with cleverness and ruthlessness.”
        That and his huge dick.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Closet we’ve had since then was Slick Willy and he was still a triangulating SOB

    • 14 days=/= almost immediately. Trump asked the dude for a reason, he gave him the reason on demand.
      What the Dems should have asked is “would you help the president cover up his crimes if he asked you to?” Because then they would have him lying under oath

  • Crank Tango

    That’s weird.

    I always assumed the NSA was watching me masturbate.

    • Crystalclear12

      No, no, FBI stateside, CIA when you masturbate internationally.

      • Master Contrail Program

        Who watches when I masturbate after midnight?

        • Nockular cavity

          Videodrome.

    • dlemex

      It would help if they could send a photo of who is watching. There should be a web page where we can fill in our preference as to viewers. It’s only fair…

    • doktorzoom

      I believe it’s The Police. Every breath you take, every herring you bake.

      • aureolaborealis

        Is this the Opus remix?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        The Dream Police. A wet dream, as it were…

  • Crystalclear12

    ‘Cause calling the FBI liars always ends well.

  • UncleTravelingMatt
    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      This is DONALD J: TRUMP, Esq., the person, not the corporation.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    I seriously feel like the Russian Puppet is in the middle of a coup attempt.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      because he is

  • Shoto

    The money was for extra pencils, paperweights, and scotch tape. Nothing to see here. Move along.

  • They were watching me masturbate. Then they went insane from the horror and my webcam was put on a “DO NOT VIEW.” list.

  • After reading this, I am thinking the same thing I think after reading most stories about Trump – I need a shower. Probably a Silkwood shower.

  • JMP

    How stupid does Trump think everyone is to assume that no one would immediately realize the firing was entirely to try and stop investigating his criminal conspiracy with Russian intelligence, anyway?

    • BearGHAZI

      Stupid is as stupid projects

    • Creepoman

      Well, he did get elected, so he can be assured the stupid meter is showing somewhere around half-full.

  • Michael Smith

    Until the Trumpists can find a way to ditch him without feeling humiliated and defeated, they’ll stick with him no matter how many of these details come out.

    If we were sinister ratfuckers like them, we might be tempted to start a huge campaign of “former Trump supporters” that blog about how they had been huge fans of Trump, but that it turns out he was just a big mean liar who took advantage of us trusting, kindhearted middle American regular folk.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      Oh, hell yes. Before all this is over, Trump will be a Trojan Horse Democrat elected as a fake-ass Republican, and it’ll all be Russia’s fault, as soon as they can figure out a way to make ’em Cawmniss again…

  • Beanz&Berryz

    I could field pretty good, and almost had the distance, but if i was supposed to get the ball to where a baseman could catch it my team was SOL.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    “I believe in coincidences. Coincidences happen every day. But I don’t trust coincidences.”

  • Wild Cat

    He installed a tyrant, then got fucked over by the same tyrant.

    Comey might actually be a greater failure in US history than the NY Rangers.

    • William

      You mind if I borrow that? I’m pretty sure that is the most profound and true statement I have read so far this week.

      • Wild Cat

        Absolutely.

        LGI!

    • georgiaburning

      The Rangers have a head start, but the San Jose Sharks will take that title.

      • Wild Cat

        Nah. The Sharks are new. The rags walk around NYC like they’re gods. They’ve won ONE Cup in SEVENTY-SEVEN YEARS!!! That’s Comeyesque!

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Let the leaks begin!

    Yes! I just put the rubber sheets in the Mar A Lago presidential suite- Donnie

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Trump had actually lost confidence in Comey from Day One.

    Correction, Dok. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of Dog was hovering over the face of the waters.

    Oh, carry on.

  • William

    Your meme concerning the FBI watching me masturbate should be a wake up call for all good Americans. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6ea11c16a3ad531ae2d366ff154917001cd8bd10335a7dd7ec95bbbd021d56e1.jpg

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Speaking of Dianne Feinstein, I just got this email from her:

    Late yesterday, we learned of President Trump’s shocking decision to fire FBI Director James Comey.

    The next FBI director must be a strong and independent voice. But it is also clear that an independent investigation into Russia’s collusion with the Trump campaign is needed more than ever so we know what truly happened.

    That is why I am calling for an independent investigation into Russia’s connections to President Trump and his campaign. Will you sign my petition and add your voice to mine?

    This firing will likely slow down our investigation into the Trump campaign’s connections to Russia. For such a critical issue, we cannot let this stand.

    That is why I am raising my voice to call for an independent investigation. If you agree, please sign my petition right away.

    Thank you for your vigilance and your action,

    Dianne

    I’d link to the petition but my personal info autofills and I don’t see where I can clear that. But I gladly signed!

    • Chadwells

      I got it too and signed it post haste!! I’m looking forward to her Town Hall in LA next month. I hope I can get to it.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      open the link in a different browser or incognito mode

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Done–thanks Zippy!

  • Chadwells

    OT: Go fuck yourself, W.Va. I’m sure you made Gorsuch happy. Ignorant fucking hillbillies.

    “West Virginia Supreme Court Rules Anti-Gay Assaults Are Not Hate Crimes”

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2017/05/10/west_virginia_supreme_court_rules_anti_gay_assaults_are_not_hate_crimes.html

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Fuck them.

    • chortlingdingo

      Since when is attacking someone specifically because they are part of a certain group of people not a hate crime?

      Like, if the excuse is “I attacked them for being ____”. It doesn’t matter what that blank is, it’s a hate crime.

      Why is this so hard to understand?

      • Chadwells

        It’s lunacy.

  • jowgajen

    Obama should have fired Comey. Just saying.

    • It is funny why Dems still care what the Republicans think. It is quite obvious the Republicans do not care what the Dems think! Or even their fellow Republicans!

      • jowgajen

        I think he was trying to make the best of a bad situation. We are fully aware that a replacement for Comey will be worse. But sometimes you just have to stand for principle.

        The fact that everything Comey was supposedly fired for is objectively true has served as a Sword of Damocles over Comey’s head. He has been effectively compromised ever since.

      • Ricky Gay

        We are living in a post-think world

    • Crank Tango

      Yeah but he knew it would be funner when Chump did it.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I knew it was Obama’s fault.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Thanks Obama!

  • Vladimir Putin is like your sensible little brother who keeps ruining your cool YooToob dance videos…
    https://media.giphy.com/media/qqBQm1IPNGvzG/200w.gif

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    If only Comey had asked for $$ to investigate Hilary’s emails, he’d probably still have a job. And the funds he wanted, also too.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      That’s so obvious it’s not actually funny…

  • Mpeg

    How do SNL writers know what in the he-e-ell they’re going to draw up amid all the revelations and rumors and developments day to day. Each sketch that makes sense today will have to be tweaked or revised tomorrow. They might be the only ones relieved that Mar-A-Lago is a weekly exploit of this nutjob president giving himself a Time Out that they can pretty much count on.

    • If nothing else, The Trump Fiasco of 2017 will show us who the real improv geniuses are.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Melissa McCarthy is going to have fun switching in and out of Spicey and HuckSanders outfits. Or maybe she could just do both!

      • jowgajen

        Do the two sided costume gag!

      • ooo like a victor Victoria thing?

        • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

          Two-Face!

  • William
  • Old town Urbandale

    I think it’s about time I bring out of mothballs the ol’ torches and pitchforks concession stand.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    TPM: White House: Trump Has Considered Firing Comey Since Day Of His Election

    No shit. Like I said, He gave ’em the excuse they were praying for.

  • wait! what?
  • BreakingDeadMen

    Parties filled with gun
    and money junkies finish
    with Russian Roulette

    • Me not sure

      Gold star for haiku.🌟

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    If I was worried about the FBI watching me ‘bate, I would be more careful about how I was busying my idle hands while I waited for my popcorn to microwave.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      I’m going to do it hotter, now that I know. I’m going to moan more, the whole bit.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Deactivate your laptop camera in device manager while bating.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        How does one do that on a microwave? I’m guessing press the clock and defrost button at the same time. Or “up down up down left right left right a b start” on the fancy models.

    • whitroth

      Debates: should I offer to help? Is the popcorn buttered?

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Wild Cat

      How come ‘dogfucker’ is missing?

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Hey, if pussy grabber isn’t on there….

      • Red Bird Ω

        Dogs probably lobbied against it for PR reasons.

      • whitroth

        Abuse of innocent dogs! No, he *is* an abuser of innocent dogs!

    • Crank Tango

      It’s almost as if half the respondents are total fucking shitheads.

      • k9feline

        The total number of people with positive word associations for Trump is 125.

        I lost count of the number of people with negative word associations for Trump after I reached 200 and was still not halfway through the page.

        It’s considerably less than half.

    • Sheepshagger

      Racist American bigots. Good.

    • Fartknocker

      I’m surprised no used “treason.” I was drinking some really nice bourbon last night when Quinnipiac called (we chat at least once a month) and when they asked me the first word that came to mind was the phrase “gold-plated shitmuppet.” I guess it didn’t score high enough or it was too many words.

  • Crystalclear12
    • Chadwells

      That was awesome!

      • C4TWOMAN

        Al Franken is on fire these days.

        • Chadwells

          He certainly has been. I hope he took his pep pills….because he’s got a lot ahead of him…

          • C4TWOMAN

            I’m listening to him and thinking EVERYONE in the Senate should be saying these exact things.

    • jon stewart for senate 2020!

  • Beowoof14

    Trust Kellyanne, Sean or Sarah Schmuckabee, not in this lifetime. Each one is a lying weasel with no moral compass. They only care about how much money they will get for protecting that ratfucker in the White House.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Link to Dianne Feinstein’s petition calling for an indepencdent prosecutor.

    And thanks to Zippy for telling me how to clear my personal info!

    • Koch Blockula

      I had a look at this and it doesn’t look right to me… “Postal Code”? It’s called a Zip Code where I come from. I think they call it that in Russia and other furren places like that. Hope it’s not a phishing site.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        It’s legit – Act Blue and NGP are behind it – but be prepared to be solicited for money.

        • Koch Blockula

          Thanks, giving it a pass though…

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    Shortage of prosecutors, you say? Federal type ones, like, whatchamacallit, “US Attorneys”? Like they ones that all got you’refired at once a while back, and we were all like hey, I bet they got canned so there’d be nobody to prosecute Trump or any of his friends? I do believe in coincidences, I do I do…

    • whitroth

      I’ve got one: how ’bout Preet Bharara? He should already be up to speed….

  • Jenny

    Let’s see, Trump will want to pick someone who is unqualified for his job but rich, loyal but corrupt, but looks like he can play an FBI character on TV.

    I pick Erik Trump haha just kidding, Eric Prince. Come on down!

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      Eric Estrada?

  • Red Bird Ω

    I’m thinking this summer will be hot!

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Ah yes, my young rapscallions. Takes me back to the summer of ’73, yyyesss.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b6c7d6d98b4315e75412583036a07a571d6dd4573d2d25dbe657b2e0bdc4f22c.jpg

      • Red Bird Ω

        True fact, I think I was conceived because of Nixon’s resignation. At least that’s what I tell people.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          “Tricky Dick”…

          *chortle*

      • Joe Beese

        Is Steve Bannon mixed up in this too?

    • whitroth

      We should all have a party on Aug 8, anniversary of Tricky Dick’s resignation. And call your Congresscritters and Senators, and let’s see if we can make it two on that day….

      • Red Bird Ω

        Good idea!

  • Sheepshagger

    They’re like sovereign citizens. No idea that the gentle consideration the court is showing them is not regard, just the kind extension of rope so that their auto hanging will be procedurally correct and appeal proof.

    • C4TWOMAN

      It’s like the people who mistake “benefit of the doubt” or kindness for weakness. Then act shocked when the boom comes down on their behaviour they’d been given SO many chances to stop/change.
      WTF is that? Because it’s NOT rational self interest…

  • whitroth

    I just called my Congressman and *both* of my Senators, to tell them that with Comey’s firing, it’s way past time, and that they needed to put forth a motion to set aside the business of the House and Senate, and to debate the appointment of a Special Counsel (not Special Prosecutor – that law expired).

    ALL OF YOU FUCKERS, GO DO THE SAME!

    • Roadstergal

      I wrote to my Representative and Senators. They’re already in the right part of the ring, but it never hurts to let them know their constituents have their back.

    • chortlingdingo

      *sigh* I don’t know that my letters and calls have any effect, given that my Congresscitters are Lamar Smith, Ted Cruz, and John Cornyn, but I’ll try again.

      • rock on and thank you for your service.

        we will eventually get this.

  • Master Contrail Program

    I have a newfound respect for the G-Men’s dedication to their trade if they’ve repeatedly seen my “O” face. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/50a36e1ffe5062928e4526bc7a4803e892ab5acfcb395dfb62f5959413d7dc06.gif

  • Bill D. Burger

    “More money to investigate Benghazi and Hillary’s emails? Oh…..here’s a blank check. Just fill in the amount. And there’s plenty more where that came from.
    You’re welcome!”

    “You want more money to investigate our Mr. Trump….the what? The Trump-Russia connection? Whaaaaaaat’! You want what…”

    https://cdn.meme.am/cache/instances/folder191/49383191.jpg

    • CripesAmighty

      “Deficits! Fiscal Resposibility! Arglebargle…”

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Quinnipiac poll taken before Comey firing…

    Trump approve/disapprove; 36/58 (-22%)

    Top five words used to describe Trump:
    – idiot
    – incompetent
    – liar
    – leader
    – unqualified

    2018 Congressional preference:
    Rep: 38%
    Dem: 54%

    • whitroth

      And that’s the right-wing leaning Quinnipac?!

    • Master Contrail Program

      So, who will we be at war with by Halloween 2018?

      • Turgid Love Skwerl

        Micronesia.

        • Master Contrail Program

          Yikes! I know quite a few Micronesians, that’ll be a tough fight

        • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

          That’s not how you spell micropenis.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        Obligatory AOTK.

      • jaspersdad

        So far Canada is the only country taking any real hits from This administration.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I’d Tapp that.

      • Joe Beese

        Get to the Tappah!

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          Tapp on, Tapp off!

    • Nockular cavity

      If only everybody in the Federal gov’t could stop swearing to defend the stupid Constitution, and swear loyalty to the Fuhrer…uh, the President, instead.

      • Roadstergal

        Well, it’s good to know that the Republicans would have been totally col with it if the 44th president had demanded assurances of loyalty from all major government employees.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Mrs Pixelz is wondering why D.A.G Rosenstein’s recommendation to fire Comey was acted on same day. A.G Yates recommendation to ditch Flynn took 18 days plus an article in the Washington Post.

    • cmd resistor

      BECAUSE !!1!!!11 Trump is DECISIVE. Didn’t you hear Kellyanne? Anyway, decisive THIS WEEK.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      He had to. How could he ignore the fucking outcry from the entire country? He was just wanted to assuage our anger as quickly as possible.

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • SeeTrain65

      No, something even more vicious. He asked a question.

  • Mpeg

    Still a better [breakup] story than Twilight[‘s lead couple’s]~

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    I’m really glad MSNBC gave Nicolle Wallace a new show because, goshdarnit, there’s just not enough Republicans giving their opinion on TV.

    • jesterpunk

      Something something lamestream liebral media and you can only trust Fox News or Dead Breitbart…

      I think I got that right, need to ask one of those brain dead Trump supporters to be sure though.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      and George Will and Hugh Hewitt and Greta and Morning Joe and…

  • Crystalclear12

    Jezz,guys, I am sorry I completely forgot.

    But her emails. . .

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I’ll be in my undisclosed bunk.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      “Maybe I hang around here a little more than I should….”

  • Chadwells

    Hmmm….and what are you gonna do about it?

    “Source close to Comey says there were 2 reasons the FBI director was fired”

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/10/politics/donald-trump-james-comey-russia/index.html

    • Joe Beese

      I understand that Idi Amin was big on “personal loyalty” as well.

    • cmd resistor

      If you want to really drive yourselves nuts, watch that Kellyanne interview in that CNN link. BUt perhaps with the aid of some mind-altering stuff.

      • Chadwells

        Noooooo….that meth faced lot lizard ignites my rage more than almost anyone alive!!

  • cheetojeebus

    I’m looking forward to Giuliani restoring dignity to the FBI……

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Oh, take me Donnie, take me now.*
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9de6a1584816a70cc4f182f731714839afc2d004a07adfb23e126421bd121213.jpg

      *apologies to all decent drag queens everywhere

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        He’s no Hoover.

        • doktorzoom

          But he sucks all the same.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            I see what you did there.

          • BearDeLaOursistance

            Clyde Tolson libelz!!!!

    • Chadwells

      …after asking for an immunity deal from the FBI a few weeks ago…

      • cmd resistor

        I figured there was enough dirt on him to make sure he doesn’t get a position that requires much screening or Senate approval. I hope I’m right.

        • Chadwells

          I hope you are too.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        that’s why it won’t be him, it’ll be Kallstrom, Rudy’s BFF and fellow wingnut/Clinton hater. As a former assistant FBI director, he’s got enough cred on paper to withstand Dem opposition, but he’s buddies with Rush and the RW outrage machine and he’ll ramp up the Clinton Derangement Syndrome in a heartbeat. Plus, he’ll make Rudy’s problems, as well as the rogue NYT FBI office problems, all go away

        • Chadwells

          I hope you are right. I mean you have got to be right! Still, I don’t believe anything until it happens these days.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Kallstrom won’t be any better, just more under the radar. He’ll still be a rubber stamp for the Trump regime and he’ll scuttle the investigations and he’ll make Rudy happy- the only difference is he’s not a lightning rod like Giuliani is. I just hope they’re not that smart…

          • Chadwells

            I meant about Ghouliani getting the nod. I just assume that anyone they pick would be equally horrible.

  • schmannity

    Comey was fired on May 8. Peter Rodino died on a May 7. Maybe Trump is superstitious.

  • SayItWithWookies

    See, the problem is obviously the fake news. Government officials are just getting sucked into the fake news vortex, and when they start going on and on about the fake Russia scandal, Assmouth knows they’re past saving and shitcans ’em. Because he’s laser focused on – um – the economy or something.

    • Rick Hill

      “Because he’s laser focused on ”
      Hiding the Russian connection with his out of control grifting?

  • Crystalclear12

    Apparently the White House staff learned about the firing the same way and time Comey did. In that case, Spicer handled it pretty well.

    Holy shit.

  • David Chaillou

    It’s all in the wording. If he only asked for “more resources”, then he didn’t ask for “more resources AND money”. So those spokespersons are not really lying, see? Merely obfuscating some more.

    I’ve been reading too much Breitbart, i’m getting into the spirit of the thing.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Not for nothin’, but Michelle Bachman was just on the teevee and she’s clearly still not a witch. Witches are generally cool and know a few things. She is none of these.

    Thad Cochran, my douchebag rep, is still “neutral” on the special prosecutor issue. Oh well, if it were easy, I wouldn’t have to call his ass every damned day.

    In WV, a reporter was arrested for being a reporter and asking Tom Price a question about Trumpcouldgiveashitlesscare.

    The moveon.org protest in Washington got hundreds of people to turn up on a Wednesday and kinda, sorta march on The WH, which would have been a bigger deal if the current occupant actually spent any time there. Still, the link below is to the video, which is pretty cool on it’s own because, #resist!

    http://occupydemocrats.com/2017/05/10/trump-just-got-nasty-surprise-doorstep/

    • georgiaburning

      Block the entrances to his golf courses, that will get 45’s attention

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        My thoughts exactly. Or just talk about him on Colbert. He hates that.

        • georgiaburning

          Also take pics of the plates of who goes in. If being a member of a Drumpf property becomes embarassing, you’re hitting him in the wallet.

          • jesterpunk

            He has that covered, its almost impossible to get a refund.

          • georgiaburning

            So we shame the individuals. If the dues are paid by their employer, also their boss.

  • janecita
  • Shakenbake

    I just sat through a recording of my senator Ted Cruz’s voice (which is every bit as punchy as his face) so I could leave him a voicemail asking for an independent investigation into the whole Trump/Russia swindle. In the words of Mr. Sparkle, join me or die! Can you do any less!?! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d5355c464dd5c708a04ba074f2aac57b1b390d5f4f80b7df5fc6c21713cf01d2.png

    • Master Contrail Program

      What a brave corporate logo!

      • Shakenbake

        Hai!

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Where is Mr Sparkle now that we need him?
      He is disrespectful to dirt!

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender
    • Master Contrail Program

      You can barely see the strings. Last exit before the Uncanny Valley is two miles away.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      He’s actually better at lying than Trump

      • Lambsendbeds

        Pence is able to put together a coherent sentence. It’s easier to slip the lies in that way.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        There is a reason. Trump does it for sport and ego. Pence does it for survival. Do you think he would have gotten where he is if he came out of the closet?

  • wait! what?

    Canadians don’t care if the FBI watches; but it’ll cost ’em a quatter.

    https://youtu.be/l1hJ6ea0Aik

    • jaspersdad

      Hilarious. I’ve never seen that one.

  • schmannity

    Archibald Cox is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more.

  • Poly_Ester

    Coming this summer to a parking garage somewhere in the DC area, Deepthroat, the Sequel!

    • VirginiaLady

      Cockholster the sequel. Fify

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        Thrussy

  • Bitter Scribe

    Historical note: The last straw for Nixon was when his self-bugging revealed that he’d merely tried to interfere with the FBI investigation into Watergate (by getting the CIA to tell the FBI to back off).

    Trump and his minions are actively, openly obstructing an FBI investigation, and they’ll probably get away with it.

    How the fuck did this guy get everyone to lower the standards and throw out the rules for him?

    • Begin Anew Day

      A: just turn on the TeeVee and channel surf, randomly, for about two hours. Pay particular attention to any commercials. Unfortunately WE THE PEOPLE eventually must accept the blame for donnie because we preferred to wallow in our own filth rather than do any of the hard work that comes with actual integrity.

    • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

      A huge swath of the US population is not engaged/does not care, Ill informed or just plain fiercely partisan. The bar has been getting lower for decades. Iran-Contra st reagan should have been impeached. The 2003 invasion of Iraq bush/chenny should face war crimes. nobody cares unless its a blowjob.

      • suziq

        Or emails! Obviously, because emails are the worst.

      • Lily412

        I think it’s because of disinformation sources like Fox News. People believe what they hear and see on TV. Plus, since their media heroes and politicians act like assholes and wingnuts, it just galvanizes their constituents to accept and mimic that behavior.

      • Lily412

        I was like 12 when that Lewinsky shit was going on, and even then I knew it was totally ridiculous. I don’t care what the president does with his cock, I care what he does with the country. And half of these assholes who bitch and moan about the “failing morals” of this country are the ones with the worst ethics. Apparently the public is not familiar with the phrase, “actions speak louder than words.”

      • Paul Dietzel

        “the Post is stuck with a story no one else wants, it’ll sink the goddamn paper.’ “. . . “You know the results of the latest Gallup Poll? Half the country never even heard of the word Watergate. Nobody gives a shit. You guys are probably pretty tired, right? Well, you should be. Go on home, get a nice hot bath. Rest up… 15 minutes. Then get your asses back in gear. We’re under a lot of pressure, you know, and you put us there. Nothing’s riding on this except the, uh, first amendment to the Constitution, freedom of the press, and maybe the future of the country. Not that any of that matters, but if you guys fuck up again, I’m going to get mad. Goodnight.”

    • Lambsendbeds

      Tax cuts and fucking over the poors.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        That’s what’s known as a toofer.

  • Aileen

    I know I live in a liberal bubble, but when it is proven that Trump and his campaign colluded with Russia to throw the election, Trump will no longer be our President, right? He’ll be impeached? So many people are acting like his completely insane actions are totally normal, I’m getting worried.

    • hillarysleftone

      shit it won’t even get voted out of the Judiciary Committee until 2018 at the earliest, unless 4 Republicans out of the 24 on the committee join all 17 Democrats. You’ve seen these guys for years–Chafetz, Gowdy, Labrador, Darrell Fucking Issa, Martha Roby from Alabama, et al. Fat chance, in other words.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        If there’s enough public pressure that could change. Those Republican shitweasels don’t love Trump, and if they think impeachment will save their lizard skins, then Trump is doomed.

        • Incoming Ham

          They don’t love Trump. They love what they think is a puppet who will rubber stamp their batshit pet bills.

          • Bad Tom

            The Public is starting to be seriously alarmed about Trump.

          • Incoming Ham

            I hope you are right, but I still see way too many cheering him on.

          • H0mer0

            [guano libel! It had to be said.
            okay, maybe not.]

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        The thing they value more than party is their own skin. If they think they need to to keep their job, they will sell their own mother. Make them feel the heat and they will dance.

  • Lefty Wright

    So it sounds like the DOJ was intentionally underfunding and refusing prosecutorial assistance. Yet Sessions was supposed to have completely recused himself from the Russia investigation. Then who was next in line to handle obstruction? Rosenstein just came in a few weeks ago, and this funding and assistance issue sounds like it started long ago. So either Sessions is still sticking his scrawny red neck ass in this investigation or the perfidy in the DOJ runs deep.

    • i want sessions to go down more than i want trump to go down.

      well or maybe together.

      • H0mer0

        Ima glad you are being metaphorical, you are, right?
        otherwise Ewww!

  • OneYieldRegular

    Is it okay to come outside now? I’m still sheltering in place from last night’s tweetstorm.

  • bluicebank

    I love the smell of smoking guns in the morning!

  • chascates

    Well, the Russians said there was no collusion, and if you can’t trust the Russians . . .

  • Pinkham’s Law
  • LiPao

    Which Russia were Trump voters hoping for?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkb8IQ1oRII

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    When Trump blows kisses at you from his little anus mouth, that means you’re through. Kind of like the the Mafia movies.

  • Scooby

    That’s worse than asking for funding for another “Piss Christ”!

  • wait! what?

    Wow. Comey getting fired is exactly not like Sessions getting fired.

    Sessions, appointed by President Ronald Reagan in 1987, faced allegations that he improperly billed taxpayer $10,000 for a fence around his home, claimed a tax exemption for his official limousine and took official travel for personal reasons. He allegedly refused to cooperate with a probe of the terms on a mortgage.

    • LSP

      Apparently, you can do anything short of killing a guy and remain a politician.

  • andyshelt

    “James Comey Requested Budget Increase For Russia Probe Last Week? That’s A Hell Of A Coincidence!”

    Or as the White House would have you believe……..

    https://youtu.be/rSjK2Oqrgic?t=20s

  • told the senators that the inquiry had been effectively stalled due to a lack of access to prosecutors and because there was no one at the Justice Department to guide the probe forward.

    Translated: The inquiry had been effectively stalled by active and passive actions at the DOJ, under the control of Trump via Sessions.

  • Paperless Tiger

    … as Democrats we’re dancing in the streets over Comey’s firing …

    I’m no fan of Comey, but I did want to hear the rest of his testimony. Trump put the kibosh on that. That’s what I’m mad about, not the firing, the obstruction of justice. Not everything is a popularity contest.

    • Lily412

      Shouldn’t he still be able to testify about everything he learned up to the point of his dismissal?

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    There is one thing that you have to admit. The President is extremely likely to continue doing exactly what he is doing now. I’m not going to tell you how to feel about that, but I hear there is a sale at BevMo! on various wines and such.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    It turns out that Rob Rosenstein is yet another fall guy to deflect from direct action by SOMEONE in the WH to fire Comey, and Rosenstein has threatened to resign because he’s been made the designated bad guy by Donald’s loathsome minions.

    If Rosenstein wants to save his rep, he’d better resign and hold a news conference and direct the subsequent Claymore detonation “towards enemy”, that is, the White House, and declare his allegiance to the Light Side.

  • Stein Olsen
  • Kaylarmundy

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !ss254c:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. Follow this link for more information
    !ss254c:
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    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs544MarketTalkGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!ss254c:….,…….

  • mardam422

    That’s about right. He wants to investigate something that doesn’t exist with money he never asked for.

  • TundraGrifter

    “…because there was no one…to guide the probe forward.”

    Sometimes you just have to turn on the lights.

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