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First off, big Mazel to Jon Ossoff on his engagement to longtime girlfriend Alisha Kramer! We’re all just kvelling over you, Boychik! Even Karen Handel, that loon running against you for Tom Price’s seat in Georgia, sent her best wishes.

“Steve and I send our congratulations to the future Mr. and Mrs. Ossoff,” Handel said in a news release. “We have learned a lot over nearly 25 years of marriage. Most days are beyond awesome but there are some tough times too. Having a partner who is the love of your life ultimately makes the hard days better, and the journey more complete. Steve and I wish them the best in their future together.”

Pretty sure she meant “the future Congressman and Dr. Ossoff,” but that’s still very nice so we won’t bitch TOO much.

Related

And now on to the chutzpah! First Georgia officials tried to ratfuck the runoff by claiming that it was just a continuation of the primary, so they didn’t need to extend voter registration. When a GOP-appointed judge rolled his eyes and issued an Are You Even Kidding Me! GTFOH! Order, Georgia was forced to extend registration to May 21. Because Georgia officials are BAD AT LAW.

Well! Karen Handel is SO MAD, YOU GUYS! Because if there’s anything Karen Handel hates more than Planned Parenthood, it’s allowing her constituents to select their own representatives. And apostrophes!

Its [sic] clear Jon Ossoff’s campaign to deceive the voters of the 6th District is not working. When the Democrats can’t win Elections following the rules – rules they themselves authored and enforced for years – they file partisan lawsuits to change them. This lawsuit should be seen for exactly what it is: A partisan attempt to change the rules in the middle of an election for a nakedly partisan outcome.

Then Karen Handel sent out a fundraising appeal to her supporters bemoaning the unfairness of letting the unwashed masses vote.

“This is going to boil your blood. Just hours ago, the Democrats won their lawsuit to extend voter registration in Georgia before our election,” she wrote in the email. […]

“Friend, I need your immediate support to fight back aganist the Democrat’s latest trick to deceive this election,” she wrote.

Holy shit, Karen! This is the most expensive Congressional election in history. Hire a damn proofreader! And also, voter suppression is BAD, and you are terrible!

But wait, there’s more! This week Paul Ryan’s favorite SuperPAC, the American Action Network, ran an ad criticizing Ossoff for taking out-of-state money. The AAN PAC is dumping tens of millions of dollars into special elections across the country, but somehow Jon Ossoff is Nancy Pelosi’s guy because of outside funding? Riiiiiight.

Is there anything more hypocritical than Paul Ryan’s PAC running an ad calling Ossoff “California’s Congressman” for taking money from Nancy Pelosi’s PAC?

NO. NO, THERE IS NOT.

This ad actually has an actress saying, “Pelosi and Ossoff will weaken the military. ISIS? Pffffft. They’re overrated.”

So, if you have a couple bucks to throw at Jon Ossoff, have at it. If anyone deserves to get smacked down WITH APOSTROPHES WITH VOTES, it’s Karen Handel.

[East Cobb Patch / Karen Handel for Congress / HuffPo / TPM]

Hey, did we distract you from the Comey-Russia shitshow for five minutes? Don’t forget to tip your server!

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  • memzilla Ω

    Counter ad: “JOHN OSSOFF SUPPORTS AN INDEPENDENT INVESTIGATION OF RUSSIANS IN THE WHITE HOUSE. KAREN HANDEL THINKS PUTIN SHOULD HAVE HIS OWN BEDROOM THERE.”

    • desida

      How wasteful! Why give him his own bed when Trump is perfectly happy to share?

  • Nick Scroggs
  • dslindc
    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Those people” voting. Very unfair to racist bitches like Handel.

  • BearGHAZI

    I will deceive the election, right after I defraud my bathroom

    • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

      Don’t forget to defibrillate the tub first!

      • Lascauxcaveman

        My wife just reminded me it’s my turn to defenestrate the windows :(

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “A partisan attempt to change the rules in the middle of an election for a nakedly partisan outcome.”
    Are they extending registration only to Democrats?

    • arglebargle

      It’s worse than that. Nakedly partisan? Wonkette commenters only.

      • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

        “Partisan sans Pantaloon!”

  • AJ Milne

    Yeah, fuck those apostrophes.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Tools of the elite!

      • AJ Milne

        You can just tell someone’s

        • Mpeg

          ?
          !

          • AJ Milne

            Smartphone/beer/early senility.

          • Mpeg

            Oh no it’s fine.. I was just using your comment to reply with some punctuation play of my own.

    • jenny_whyme

      At least we aren’t arguing over the Oxford comma….

      • leemoder

        Bloody Thatcher!

      • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

        The Oxford comma was, is, and always will be my friend!

        • Seek

          Eats shoots and leaves
          Eats, shoots and leaves
          Eats, shoots, and leaves

          • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

            That was a fun book!

  • Anna Rompage

    Hows dares thems demoncrats fighting for peepol’s constipational wrights to cast a vote in electioms! The shame!

  • Chadwells

    Lest we forget Handel’s racist scumbag husband. He even sucks at being racist…I’ll deduct a racist point for him just being fucking ignorant. Still a racist tho.

    “Karen Handel’s husband shares meme urging voters to ‘free the black slaves from the Democratic plantation'”

    http://www.salon.com/2017/05/03/karen-handels-husband-shares-meme-urging-voters-to-free-the-black-slaves-from-the-democratic-plantation/

    • Historicat

      Did no one ever tell him it’s the “Democrat plantation”? Sad.

  • HazooToo

    Has anyone ever explained why extending voter registration is a bad thing? I mean, it’s obvious that the reason is they’re afraid Democrats will realize they’ve been purged and re-register and vote against them, but have they ever given any kind of excuse to cover that up?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      They like to complain that adding more people to the rolls right before the election makes it hard for the people working the election to have an accurate voter list.

      • HazooToo

        Uhm… Don’t they get their voter list from the same place where people are registering?

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Didn’t say it was a good excuse, mind. It’s the best plausible thing they can come up with that isn’t “Well, we don’t want *those* people voting wink-wink-nudge-nudge”

      • Villago Delenda Est

        If the people working the election were adequately funded for IT upgrades, wouldn’t be a problem. Well, would be a problem for Rethugs attempting to suppress the vote, I suppose.

      • georgiaburning

        Umm, how about ctrl-p and select the number of copies?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Yeah, my county auditor can print up an up-to-date voter list any time you want, ’cause she gots computers. Mebbe they ain’t gots down there in Jaw-juh?

    • jenny_whyme

      Well, there are those busloads of illegal immigrants who walk in a register to vote at the last minute (because the people doing registrations never notice all the buses lined up outside the office)…

      • HazooToo

        You’d think one single person would have video of these buses. Just one person.

    • Vecchioivan

      Making it easy to register means more of “them” voting.

    • jesterpunk

      Because democrats win when they actualy vote and higher turnout favors democrats.

      https://forwardprogressives.com/numbers-dont-lie-democrats-win-show-vote/

      • HazooToo

        Well yeah, that’s the real reason, but what’s the cover story?

        • voter fraud.
          Somehow.

        • jesterpunk

          That is it, they complain that democrats, women and minorities voting ruins the country. See Ann Coulter for an example of their “logic”.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    I thought money was speech?

    • Anna Rompage

      IOKIYR…

    • jenny_whyme

      On Republican money being spent on Republican candidates is “free speech.”

      I thought everyone knew that.

  • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

    Ima really sick of Republican Cunts today.

    • jesterpunk

      Just today?

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        Ah, you’re correct – *Especially* today.

    • Roadstergal

      Cunt libel!!

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        XD Well Played! *golf clap*

    • MynameisBlarney

      What about Rebuplican Taints?

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        *nods* thems too, also.

    • BUT you have an adorables hat

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        XD Thanx! I do love hats, and it was too windy to wear one with a brim.

    • Thaumaturgist

      Republicunts. FIFY.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        Thank you kindly. XD

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Villago Delenda Est

      That’s my Senator, and he’s right!

    • Roadstergal

      He should have resigned for being a racist fucknugget ages ago.

    • Hot damn

  • “Friend, I need your immediate support to fight back aganist the Democrat’s latest trick to deceive this election,” she wrote.

    See, Boys and Girls? This is what happens when you skimp on your Russian/English translator.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Apostrophe error! Must sterilize!

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        “Where Nomad Has Gone Before”.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      “Not to be letting Democrat Party stealing your Borscht, Comrade.”

    • mailman27

      In Russia, election deceives you!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Does she mean Obummer or does she mean Hitlery?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    This vile bitch needs to find [redacted in deference to the Commenting Rules for Radicals].

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    An out of state PAC spends money making an ad to yell at a guy for taking out of state PAC money.

    HYPOCRINCEPTION

    • AJ Milne

      Approaching hypocrisingularity! Brace for hypocrevent horizon!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    That Ossoff kid has spunk.
    I love spunk.

    • Doug Gardner

      That’s what she said.

      C’mon, that remark was just itching to get out. Or as Archer would put it: Phrasing!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I’m no Lou Grant.

  • How does one deceive an election? Do you promise to marry it? tell it that the check is in the mail? Offer to sell it some beautiful ocean front property in Kentuckistan?

    • Roadstergal

      Tell it you’re going to build a big, beautiful wall?

  • Mpeg

    Has anyone seen a pic of Handel? Her hair probably has split infinitives.

  • arglebargle

    Karen can’t Handel the truth.

    • Roadstergal

      Are we Bach to bad puns already?

      • arglebargle

        Her brain is baroque.

        • Roadstergal

          She won’t Weber on being a twat.

          • She’s Hayden her true feelings

          • Roadstergal

            I’m too Bizet to keep up with this thread.

          • Yeah I can’t hang, got grocery Chopin to do

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I foresee a Liszt forming…

      • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

        Well, the school did threaten to Mahler the diplomas.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      No truth Handeler, you!

    • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

      She’s obviously Haydn something.

    • Roadstergal

      Follow the Monet!

      • Ill-Advised

        Yes, do, she’s Grieg-y.

    • Shoto

      Handel can’t Copland.

    • mailman27

      When she loses she’s fleeing to Britten.

      • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

        She’s really screwing the Puccini.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          She’s not trying to Beethoven, just Ossoff.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Do I need to bring in de Busey?…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Do I have to show you the Dvořák?

  • ManchuCandidate

    Karen will soon declare one person, 3/5th of a vote.*

    *only applies to Demoncraps.

  • Suttree

    It was very nice of her to send good tidings. Now go fuck off!

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Cheating and voter suppression has worked well for the GOP in the past, why would one expect them to embrace real democratic process now?

  • “No no no no… we’re not against people voting… we’re against… THOSE people voting, you know… by which we mean n- uh… Democrats… yes… Democrats….”

    • maxneanderthal

      “Non-reflective voters!”
      “Sorry, I meant “Low albedo voters””

      • Chris

        Original constructionist rule: a person with a high concentration of melanin should only be allowed to vote 4/5 of the time.

  • Shibusa

    “You liberals want more people voting?” https://media.giphy.com/media/rEuqDEnb2X9G8/giphy.gif

    • Roadstergal

      Votes have a well-known liberal bias.

      • As do facts, reason, humor and fantabulous fashion sense.

        • Roadstergal

          Tangent – I am moving to Switzerland for the summer for work. I have been instructed to Dress Very Nicely because they do that there, and I am suddenly discovering how difficult it is to get clothes that are a: nice, b: businesslike, and c: lab-appropriate.

          I understand the pantsuit thing even more than I ever did before. I just want to find a place where I can buy the Clinton wardrobe and be done with it.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Stop off in Italy….

          • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

            You can get one outfit here, then the rest there. They’ll have exactly what you need, and have very nice department stores, and the Euro is crazy low right now.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    OT: Oh, wow! Betsty DeVos did not get a warm welcome today at the commencement ceremony for Bethune-Cookman (where she also received an honorary doctorate). Apparently it reached a point where the President of the school threatened to cancel the ceremony and simply mail the participants their diplomas.
    https://twitter.com/AdamHSays/status/862352037798957056

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      But mail order education is the Russian Puppet’s thing, isn’t it?

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      If I were there I’d have said “Fine, Fucking *mail* it, you Motherfucker!”

      • timpundit

        No shit, those ceremonies are long , hot and boring as fuck.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          I skipped my undergrad one (I was sitting for the LSAT at the time, plus the ceremony was 2 weeks before the end of term because the arena had been booked for the National Finals Rodeo the weekend after exams). I did sit through my law school ceremony (mainly because my folks flew 2,000 miles to see it). Indiana in May with a black robe = OMG I’M DYIN’ HERE!

      • NastyBossetti

        Yeah I would have walked out at that threat. It’s not like they really give you the diploma at graduation anyway.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

          *nods* Don’t threaten me, evers. Ima “Bring it, Motherfucker” kinda Grrl.

        • norfolkandway1

          Yeah, diplomas are totally mailed because they can’t know whether or not you failed your final classes in time for the ceremony. You get a piece of cardboard in a fancy case.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Haha good. Those graduates are America’s future heroes.

    • Damn colleges are liberal indoctrination centers – Rick Santorum, later today on Fox news.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        “Good!” – anyone with a brain.

        I’d love the frothy one to meet my outspoken, liberal, Catholic, (and, incidentally, ahem, *valedictorian*) college daughter.

    • Suttree
    • Slithytoves

      The diplomas are mailed anyway. What they get is an empty, decorative folder. Dumbass.

    • Anna Rompage

      How much does an honorary doctorate from Bethune-Cookman cost these days?

      • Pilotshark

        enough to cover the postage for the diploma`s?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Don’t they have any dishonorary doctorates?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        And what kind of idiot college invites to commencement the only anti-education Secretary of Education in the entire history of the US?

    • timpundit

      Fuck you, they paid their tuition and you gobbled it up. They can what they want on graduation day.

    • Pilotshark

      that what have been great if the whole class just got up and walked out, singing mail it to me, than it would mean something!

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      An honorary doctorate carries as much weight as a roll of tp -as said by all those who earned their fucking degree, ba, bs, ma, ms, jd, md, dd, ds, phd, etc.

  • If you give a Liberal a vote, then they will want universal healthcare.

    • Suttree

      It’s my pie! Get the fuck away from it!

      • Have you been talking with Christie again?

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Ooh, pie!

    • JohnBull

      If we get universal healthcare, we may bring costs down. If we bring costs down…

      • Cat Cafe for the Investigation

        …we may be healthier. If we’re healthier, we can take the time to educate ourselves. If we educate yourselves….

        • Lascauxcaveman

          …It’s liberals all the way down from there.

          Or up, rather.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      for every bunny…

  • RobKanC

    All those blah ppl thinking they can vote. How dare they.

  • Marceline

    Since this is a Republican district just chock full of white people it’s harder for the Repubs to do voter suppression.

    • RobKanC

      Simple. Make it so that the wimmins cannot vote. Why do they even want to vote instead of making sandwiches.

      • jesterpunk

        Ann Coulter?

        • Skeptical_thinker

          Woman?

  • writersbloc

    While I live in Texas, I might be free to vote in this election of someone sends me the link to download some “Soros bucks”

  • schmannity

    It’s a holiday tradition! Handel’s Meshuggah.

  • Crystalclear12

    “Its” not even a hard one.

    • snark-lurker

      it was hard when i woke up this morning

      • Suttree

        You are a disgusting bastard! I still like you though. Would you grab me a beer from the fridge?

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        It’s getting to the point, where I’m no good anymore – I am sorry…..but you….

  • biologydave

    Remember when Steve Douchey thought it was a great idea for some kind of test before being allowed to vote? With the right calculus, voter suppression could be be all the new rage in the South (and Mid-west and anywhere else…) In the current political climate I would not be surprised to see it come up in the House.

    • Suttree

      Can I administer these vote tests?

    • JohnBull

      An IQ test? That’ll go over well in Wal Mart nation.

    • Khavrinen

      “voter suppression could be be all the new rage in the South”

      Everybody sing along: “Everything old is new again…”

  • LarryHoudini

    Yes, Karen, these days my blood is boiling! But a court injunction against voter suppression is not what’s doing it.

  • HazooToo
    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      Half the wives, half the IQ, twice the clusterfuck.

      • Professor Fate

        I keep seeing these shots of Trump and the eyes are starting to creep me out – there’s no there there. There is nothing going on behind them at all. They look like dolls eyes to tell the truth. rather creeps me out truth to tell.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Twice the male heirs sharing half the IQ.

        • desida

          I do love that Eric is SO dumb that he spills the beans to the press about stuff because he doesn’t know not to, though.
          Eric: Oh yeah, we’ve got TONS of investments in Russ–
          Donnie Jr.: Ack! Ix-nay on the ussia-Ray!
          Eric: What? We do! So many! It’s almost like they own our whole family!
          Ivanka: *facepalm*

    • Moebym Reborn

      Also, let’s please not allow his daughter to “inherit” the “throne” like Queen Elizabeth I did.

    • schmannity

      LOCK HIM UP IN THE TOWER OF LONDON!1!!!1!

    • Ill-Advised

      The Mouldwarp Himself! (a mythical demon from Henry’s period, who Henry was said to resemble).

      • HazooToo

        Oh my god, I love that so much!

  • Proud Liberal
    • Suttree

      Bill Moyers is my gawd

    • snark-lurker

      it’s not up to the people, it’s up the Republifuckz

      • Yr. Gma

        The people tell the Republicans what to do. Make your self heard.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Shoto

      “Recusal, Schmrecusal.”

      — Jeff “The South Will Rise Again” Sessions.

  • OrG

    Again, lying and cheating is the ONLY way the rethugs can win elections.

    • TJ Barke

      Well, sometimes their voters are just terrible.

      • PubOption

        Deplorable, even.

  • JohnBull

    If Republican ideas were so good, wouldn’t they want more people to vote and more time to vote for them?

  • Michael R

    I don’t need relationship advice from a lump .

  • I wonder if Trump will tweet about the lack of respect at traditionally black universities tonight?

    • Major_Major_Major

      ” These thugs, I call them thugs, so uppity. We pay 3/5’s of their education, and then these thugs are just gonna walk out on Secretary Devos,she’s a lovely lovely person, believe me. They just runaway on her speech like a common fugitive”-DJT

  • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

    OT – the Traitor’s Administration is fucking up my diet, but I’d really like to thank Everypony here, I was too angry to eat anything earlier, and after hanging out, I had some pizza.

    I’ll cook something healthy tomorrow. :)

    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

      Tomorrow is very much another day and you can do it and are awesome!

      I’m also trying to diet and exercise, so I feel ya.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        ~hugs~ Thank you. I hit a personal best milestone this month, but my tummy isn’t going to be bikini-ready for June as I’d hoped.

        But I’ve lost almost all of my depression/med/self-hatred weight.

        • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

          That’s huge, that depression weight is the bastard I’m working on now. Hooray for you!

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

            Thank you. :) Since I Came Out, I’ve been walking, eating healthier, and not eating so much because of feeling down.

    • Yr. Gma

      Pizza is not unhealthy. Maybe a little on the fatty side with too much sodium, but the basic stuff is still nourishment. (I just ate a slice.)

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        Thank you. :) I wanted something i didn’t have to cook, I’m sure it wont hurt me.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Karen. Fat, bigoted and stupid is no way to go through life.

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Yeah, even Mama June (also from GA) decided to clean up and slim down.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Although POTUS might have an opening or two at Press Secretary soon.

    • bupkus231

      No, that’s the way to go through “Republican life”….

    • Ill-Advised

      Hey, we fat persons deny Handel! Skinny, bigoted and stupid is pretty damn common up my way.

  • Lizzietish81

    Oh THAT Karen Handel.

    Surprised she can still walk after Cecil Richards put her foot up her ass

  • Chadwells

    OT: That this is even up for a vote is disgusting. What kind of evil fucks stake out a fucking high school to deport people?!?! Oh right…

    “LA schools vote to block immigration officers from campuses”

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/332786-la-school-district-blocks-immigration-officers-from-campuses-report

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Betsy DeVos Was Booed Heavily As She Gave A Commencement Address

      “Students jeered and turned their backs, and one walked out while giving the black power symbol, as the education secretary spoke Wednesday.”

      https://www.buzzfeed.com/coralewis/devos-booed-heavily-at-commencement?utm_term=.iyDnoRPAj#.xePEByj9K

      • Chadwells

        That has been my moment of zen for the last couple hours!!! I love it!!! We need WAY more of that kind of resistance!!!

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Well, fine then! No schools for you black kids! See how you like that!….

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Yeah, that’s already been the treat. The administrators are sucking up to keep that sweet Uncle Sugar. The kids are appalled, as they should be.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Finally. Our children is learning.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Yeah! Trying to steal the election by allowing more people time to vote! Cheater! What the fuck is this, a democracy?????….

    • UnsaltedSinner

      “It’s a REPUBLIC!”

      Every wingnut I’ve ever encountered

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        by which they mean, the Public reprised…..

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        what those wingnuts don’t understand is that the US is a constitutional democratic republic

  • La forza del resistino

    Can anyone one else think of ‘ the rules – rules they themselves authored and enforced for years’ in GA by Democrats since 1865 that needed a little fixing?

    • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

      Right back to “party of the KKK” nonsense again.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Yeah, it’s not the parties but the participants that need changing. We’re fighting gerrymandering that keeps the same racists in power, regardless of how they have labeled themselves over the years.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Its [sic] clear Jon Ossoff’s campaign to deceive the voters of the 6th District is not working.

    Extended voter registration = deceiving the voters now?

    I guess in the age of Donald the Terrible, that shouldn’t surprise me…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8e7d7ae6eaf3b552bfcd9083469adf9915efe2691c723085cf07c48a23b26cd9.jpg

  • Apparently, Karen can’t Handel the truth!

    • UnsaltedSinner

      She’s Haydn from it.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        She’ll be bach.

        • Let’s hope not.

          • Mpeg

            Shatterer of Glass ceilings she is not.

          • Rags

            OK – ‘she’ll be Patrched when she is stuck in that Cage.’

      • Mondoshawan

        There is a veritable Liszt of things she’s Haydn from.

        • george lastrapes

          Her head’s on the Chopin block, her reality is about to unRavel, and her favorite drunk uncle Debussy Fields just died.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Handel: “Fake truth!”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Hallelujah!

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Having a judge uphold the law is not changing the law, you fuckwit!

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Words, what do they alligator?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Better to be the alligator than the alligatee.

      • TJ Barke

        I doormat raspberry anymore.

      • Red Bird Ω

        Button my nose but don’t zip my tee.

  • Chadwells

    OT: Tiffany & Co.trolling Dickface….he gonna be boo boo but hurt because he named his daughter after them.

    “Tiffany & Co. Has A Powerful Message For Donald Drumpf”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/tiffany-co-has-a-powerful-message-for-donald-trump_us_59132b9de4b0a58297e15d78

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Mordor’s congressparty says what, now?

  • Relativicus

    I probably won’t throw any cash to Ossof’s campaign, but I’m happy to throw coins at Handel…

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Pretty sure the Rightie PACs have tucked a bunch of crumpled bills into her g- string.

      • Relativicus

        Can’t… un… SEE!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Throw her a noseful of nickels.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lm2Dy39hv5A

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Hot ones like Caligula reportedly threw?

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    I just sent some moniez to Mr. Ossoff. We need him to win this thing.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    I threw a few more coins at Ossoff and a few more at Quist while I was there.

  • whitroth

    Already sent Ossof money, days ago, during the 3-for-1 match.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Me too

  • Shibusa
    • SeeTrain65

      One problem: If you put her there, she won’t be available for the AG’s office when Sessions is impeached.

      • Shibusa

        Somebody over there IS lying about Comey asking for more money and manpower to investigate Trump/Putin collusion.

  • Chadwells

    OT: This is awesome! How do I donate to THIS cause?!?!

    “Activists Are Bailing Out Incarcerated Black Moms For Mother’s Day”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/activists-are-bailing-out-incarcerated-black-moms-for-mothers-day_us_591344e3e4b05e1ca2040094?ir=Politics&utm_hp_ref=politics

    https://nomoremoneybail.org/

  • The Wanderer

    Handel needs to be defeated. The English language must be defended, and she is not the one to do that.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Blackest Noobs

      for fuck’s sake indeed..and ya know…he probably did.

    • OMG, I wonder if Trump is considering “Judge” Napolitano for FBI director. It would certainly fit his pattern of incompetent hires.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Astonishing how failing ISIS, which has a couple thousand guys in pickup trucks, is our foremost military threat. While North Korea, which has nuclear bombs, and Russia, which has nuclear bombs, are meh.

  • elviouslyqueer

    I am very much looking forward to Karen Handel’s sad, illiterate campaign being aborted. With many, many votes, natch!

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      But it’s more than 20 weeks old.

      • elviouslyqueer

        EVEN BETTER.

  • theblackdog

    I hope there is voting, lots and lots of voting.

  • Let’s hope this Handel will be singing the blues after the election.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    This reminds me of that Sally Yates woman. Remember how Ted Cruz was all, “here’s what the law says” and she was all “no, here’s what it actually says” and he was all “you smell” and she was all “I smell like a winner” and he was all “boo hoo hoo i’m going home.”

    • elviouslyqueer

      9/10, but you forgot “he was all, ‘You made me do a boom boom in my diaper, you meanie.'” Because you totes know he did.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Totes

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      And then his daughters kicked him unconscious.. with votes!

    • TheBoatDude

      Cruz “You ever see this shit before?”
      Yates “No, but I’ve also never see people so twatnozzled to try an end run around the AG, either, fuckstick.”

  • elviouslyqueer

    Also too, has anybody mentioned that Mitch McConnell needs to go fuck himself with an entire toolshed of rusty farm implements?

    No? Well by all means, ALLOW ME.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/05/10/mcconnell-rejects-call-for-special-prosecutor-238206

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      They’re going to shut the fucking thing down and not tell anyone.

    • SeeTrain65

      Approximately 175 million Americans have.

      But, by all means, please continue. You can’t say it too often.

  • Do Republicans accept money from Ritz crackers?
    https://media3.giphy.com/media/8BtMUn6DPLxja/200w_d.gif#492

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Wouldn’t extending voter registration benefit everyone in the race?

    • Not the white race.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        lol

      • TheBoatDude

        Oh, you!

  • Crystalclear12

    Handel, honey, save your money, that Trump-shaped albatross is going to drag you down.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      The rime of the ancient pussgrabbiner.

      • msanthropesmr

        He grabbeth one of three. Oh wherefore ancient pußgrabber, wherefore you grabbeth me?

        • therblig

          pussy, pussy, everywhere
          and little hands to grab

  • Thiazin Red

    It could also be Congressman Ossoff and Dr. Kramer, because its 20 fucking 17 and women don’t automatically have to assume the name of their owner.

    • Fivedollarfeminist

      You are 100% right!

    • TheBoatDude

      A married woman? That doesn’t assume her husbands surname? IN THE SOUTH? Ah do declare!

  • Crystalclear12
    • Bill D. Burger
      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Is that Carly fiorina?

        • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

          It’s one of her sheep.

      • Thiazin Red

        I woke up this morning where it was a real and not made up thing that the White House press secretary hid in the bushes. I’ve said it before, but now is really the point where nothing makes any sense anymore.

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          Other countries see this and are “wtf? This be cray-cray.”

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          We’re living in a Carl Hiaasen novel, I think.

          • Thiazin Red

            But not as charming. That reminds me I should get a couple more for my father, his birthday is coming up. He likes them because I’m pretty sure he would love to live in them.

        • NotReallyHere

          Well, this is appropriate again. Although, I feel that way almost every day now.

          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/53c5d55b9112181904b94fd4ff3edc380318ba5968f266cf8ebc057de750a7ba.gif

    • Blackest Noobs

      what comes around, goes around.

  • Chadwells

    OT: Of course.

    “James Comey’s Temporary Replacement At The FBI Is Under Investigation”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/who-is-andrew-mccabe_us_59134d3ce4b050bdca61b74e?ir=Politics&utm_hp_ref=politics

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Lol I think my brain is broken. You really can’t make this shit up!

      Makes the keystone cops look like steely-eyed law enforcement professionals.

    • Jennifer R

      And Grassley is sniping at him already. Go fuck a goat chuck.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        How much goat can a fuck chuck fuck?

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Somebody needs to put Chuck’s “Death Panel” scare video on loop and play it 24/7 in Iowa….that goatfucker…

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Grassley needs to go shuck some corn back home.

        • elviouslyqueer

          And by “shuck some corn” you mean “shove a corncob straight up his ass and rotate it 90 degrees,” right?

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            and then Joni Ernst him

      • FlownΩver

        Assume last brain cell dead.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      The video discussion was on “the appearance” of him looking like he might be biased, because he is a Democrat. We are so far beyond the Caesar’s wife principle we can’t even see it in the back window with this trump team, and someone brings up “appearances”! Can you hear this? This is my loopy laugh…

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Yeah, this came up when they were making excuses for Comey back in October.

  • DainBramage

    We’ll all sing the Hallelujuh Chorus when Handel is defeated.

    • therblig

      it’ll be a mess, I, uh, imagine

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    I guess the party of ‘party over country’ don’t know how ridiculous they sound when they complain about other peoples partisanship.

  • wait! what?

    If Karen loses John can claim she got smacked down by apostles.

  • Chadwells

    OT: Un fucking real….so Ghouliani a few weeks ago was looking to cut a deal for immunity with the FBI…and now he is a contender to replace Comey.

    This shit comes straight out of a comic book.

  • Finnabar87

    Handel the Horrible strikes again.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I’d rather have someone better. I’m not about to fall in love with Comey just because he ended up on Donnie’s shitlist. He shouldn’t have been fired, but that’s a far cry from being competent and professional- which he wasn’t

  • yyyaz

    Sorta OT: Who is the genius that thought giving One L facetime on CNN was going to do anything but bury the level of discourse at bedrock? ZOMFG.

  • Jennifer R

    Guess that writing is on the wall. GOP folds like card table.
    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/mitch-mcconnell-defends-comey-firing

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Yes, Mitch McTurtle, it is sooo believable that you wish to do something that the Democrats asked for!

      I can’t think of a single time that you haven’t subverted a Constitution or two, just to thwart them, or anything!

    • Greyhame

      At this point, McConnell is personally responsible for inflicting more harm to the country than any other elected official in recent memory, and I’m including the Orange Beast in that assessment because without 8 years of the the McConnell strategy constantly poisoning our democracy, I don’t think the conditions would have been right for the thing squatting in the Oval Office to ascend to power.

      • Jukesgrrl

        I’m convinced that the “turtle look” is working for him as a cover. People don’t realize how dangerous he is because he looks rather benign.

    • Paperless Tiger

      “Two investigations are currently ongoing,” [McConnell] said, naming the Senate Intelligence Committee and FBI investigations.

      No, Trump already interfered with both of those investigations, just like he did the House one. So there are no clean investigations at this point. Time for a special prosecutor.

  • Rags

    I gave but I was smrt and used a junk email address of mine – turns out it was a good move. These guys make Barry’s and Hillz’s email blitzes look like dead silence.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Yeah, Ossoff’s team is awful that way. But what you have to worry about is your credit card information, because there’s literally no way to keep their database from capturing it. You have to delete it every time.

    • Jukesgrrl

      It helps if you go to the bottom of E-mails that purport to be from Ossoff and click on the “unsubscribe,” It gives you the option to cut back on the amount of E-mail you get. That worked well for me. It cut the money pleas I was getting down to one-a-day instead of 8 to 10.

  • Maclare

    Handel’s team have finally pulled back a bit on the subtle-as-a-dumptruck ads, the ones that have the tag line, “Karen Handel: SHE IS ONE OF US!”.

    This might be the creepiest ad I’ve seen this year, and that’s saying something.

    Now I’m only seeing it several times a day, instead of every 15 minutes.

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))
      • Maclare

        Gabba Gabba Hey Now!

    • kaydenpat

      Better than “I am not a witch”. That one worked out real well — for the Democrat.

    • FlownΩver

      Tod Browning, campaign creative director.

  • Boscoe

    I cannot even begin to parse how extending voter registration is something that should be “blood boiling”… so many options! is SHE a idiot? Does she think her supporters are? Mebbe they’re ALL a idiots? -Like a human centipede of idiots pooping derp down each others’ throats? Is it a false flagg?? WHO KNOWS??

  • Portia McGonagal

    Who knew ensuring people can vote was deception! I thought it was that other d word. What is it again? Oh yeah DEMOCRACY!

  • Lori

    Holy crap, that letter. If that was what she sent out, what did the first draft look like? I’m imagining something along the lines of “Lordy ya’ll. They’re tryin’ to let the nigras vote! This must not stand!”

    • kaydenpat

      What a crisis! Imagine Negroes voting just like that as if they were good, decent, Christian White folks. The Horror! Reverse Discrimination!! Benghazi!!

    • TheBoatDude

      Ah might get the vapors!

  • Marceline

    “This is the most expensive Congressional election in history.”

    Seriously? Because I remember how much money they dumped into Ohio during Sherrod Brown’s last campaign. If they’ve surpassed that on a House special election, yikes. My thoughts and prayers to the people of GA-6.

    • FlownΩver

      They prefer, of course, unilateral (Democratic) disarmament. What was that tweet today from Dolt 45 about hypocrisy?

  • notaten

    When did somewhat correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation become a liberal elitist unamerican trait, that no real ‘murican would ever stoop to using?

    • Jukesgrrl

      During the second Bush administration.

    • kaydenpat

      When reporters started talking about wanting to drink beer with a presidential candidate as a criteria for his qualifications.

    • FlownΩver

      About the same time Dave & Charlie realized they could have more billions if they didn’t have to help pay for those un-Amercian good public schools. Why should everybody have access to a quality education if they can’t pay for it themselves?

    • JohnBull

      Ironic that the people who think everyone should speak English are the least likely to use it correctly.
      That’s one of the thousands of reasons why I hate these people.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Think “progressive” and “politically correct”, cause progress and being correct are as unAmerican as one can get!

    • TheBoatDude

      About the same time being an American meant having a shitty job with bum pay. Real muricans work hard labor under shitty conditions for a shitty boss that they’re loyal to, and never leave the town they grew up in, because that’s what real muricans do. Only fancy elite pussies get a degree or higher level training in order to get better pay, then move to the big city.

    • mightysprout

      Americans have been DEEPLY anti-intellectual for most or all of American history. This is not new. It’s weirdly juxtaposed with our technological and scientific superiority over the last century, but it is a lasting and core component of the worst of our national character.

  • Bitter Scribe

    A partisan attempt to change the rules in the middle of an election for a nakedly partisan outcome.

    WTF does “a nakedly partisan outcome” mean? Winning?

    • kaydenpat

      It means Democrats should roll over and lose.

    • FlownΩver

      “Partisan” is the new GOP buzzword. Peak projection achieved.

      • this country says it’s about

        Unlike the Senate refusing to hold hearings for Obama’s nominee for SCOTUS, That wasn’t partisan. LOL!

      • Grokenstein

        “Oh, partisan! Oh, aren’t we grand!”

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bA2rF4ZA5Gc

  • kaydenpat

    Go Ossoff!! Go beat Handel!

    Shame she has the last name of such a musical genius.

    • SisterArtemis

      He was probably an asshole – so many musical geniuses are

      • kaydenpat

        Now that’s a little harsh! Lol.

      • Sakonyachen

        Hey! I’m not a musical genius!

        • SisterArtemis

          not ALL, just… you know… so many.

          • Sakonyachen

            Well after all, I’m an asshole. I was just a bit miffed that I am not a musical genius as well.

          • SisterArtemis

            Oh now I think you’ve got it all twisted around – I really think it’s a mix and match situation. You can be BOTH, EITHER, OR, AOT,K! and switch it around on alternate Thursdays! And I’m absolutely SURE you’re a genius!

          • Sakonyachen

            But not a musical one.

            I am a musical asshole though. Wait, what?!

      • Tosca

        He once tried to throw a soprano out of a window. So he had that going for him.

      • The Flaming Carrot

        Confirmed.

  • Lefty Wright

    Maybe Ossoff needs to counter with the backwoods Neanderthals from “Deliverance” running pro Handel spots.

  • Scooby

    She looks more like a politician than him.

  • eastcoastlib

    In Georgia, Republicans are used to picking their voters so for them, this election is totally upside down. NOT FAIR!!!

  • Once&futureFred

    How is extending voter registration “nakedly partisan”? Are Republicans registered at birth or something, to where only icky Ds need to fill out the forms?

    • Apple Scruff

      They act like only Democrats are allowed to register.

    • Sakonyachen

      It is nakedly partisan because making sure as many people as possible vote is how they lose. Which is why they must defend the rights of their voters to choose for everyone else. That’s how democracy works right?

    • SeeTrain65

      It’s common theory within the GOP that those who register as Democrats or certain Independents should not be eligible.

    • Only Republicans are allowed to vote when dead. Dems are not allowed to vote if brown

  • SeeTrain65

    Handel with her spokesman:

    Handel: “What a ghastly squit. He’s not going to win, is he?”

    Spokesman: “No, ma’am, because, firstly, we shall fight this campaign on issues, not personalities, secondly, we shall be the only fresh thing on the menu, and thirdly, of course, … we’ll cheat.”

    Later, asked by the press about her prospects during the campaign:

    Handel: “First, I’d like a word about the disgraceful circumstances in which this election arose. We paid for this seat, and I think it’s a damn liberty we should have to stand for it as well.”

    Or I could be confusing it with a Blackadder Episode. It does ring somewhat familiar.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26y70Jz7ngY

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Handel to Trump: I care not a jot that you are the son of a certified sauerkraut-sucking loon. It minds me not that you dress like a mad parrot and talk like a plate of beans negotiating their way out of a cow’s digestive system. It is no skin off my rosy red nose that there are bits of lemon peel floating down the Thames that would make better regents than you!

  • puredog

    God, I love you guys. I drove from Portland to Eugene and back this morning and was treated to an NPR-all-the-time report on Comey and all things Comey. The BBC did an okay job. But throughout, I kept asking: however it may have been approved, is no one going to mention the fact that Trump is meeting today with Latvov, whom the Steele Dossier identified as running the Russian hacks, the day after firing Comey. Not a peep. Thanks, Wonkette!

  • this country says it’s about

    God forbid that your right to vote should be easy! In my state when you get a driver’s license you are automatically registered to vote unless you opt out. You either believe democracy is a good thing or you don’t. Where do you think Handel’s belief is planted?

    • TheBoatDude

      Wow…we tried that here in CA and you’d have though they suggested eating babies for brunch, the way folks were carrying on…

      • mightysprout

        Well, there is that pesky issue that undocumented immigrants can get drivers licenses in California. Do you think that might have something to do with it? (Not being sarcastic). I am in favor of undocumented immigrants getting drivers licenses.

      • EasyD1

        First of all, anyone with half a brain know that babies are strictly for breakfast! All that milk and they still stay crunchy!

        Secondly, certain states don’t want any part of making voting easy. Look at the way felons (who have served their time and paid their debts to society) are disenfranchised. I honestly believe that Trump is desperately trying to suppress the minority vote with actions such as the recently announced rollback of Obama era sentencing guidelines. He’s also trying to keep illegal immigrants from voting (duh, which they don’t). I’m trying to find a link to the article where he actually stated that HRC only won the popular vote due to illegal immigrants and formerly incarcerated minorities.

        So, absolutely not! Certain states will have to be, “UA’d” (United Airlines/kicking and screaming) in order to make voting easy!

  • Zyxomma

    I am a professional proofreader. Karen Handel has not reached out to me.

    • She dun need no stinkin proof

    • TheBoatDude

      She don’t need no fancy proof readers from the big city!

  • This is the one contest that Democrats better win.

    DrumpfCare 1.0 polled abysmally at 17%
    DrumpfCare 2.0 polls at 31%

    Rest assured that DrumpfCare 3.0 will pass in 2-3 months, and will be better received.

    All the Democrats seem to be doing is expressing disgust at how bad the GOP is fumbling. There are 193 Democrats. They should ALL be holding town halls not just one Sean Patrick Maloney going to a GOP district as a gimmick.

    Ossoff could have won the primaries outright but 2-3 other numbskull Democrats collectively took away 1.5 points from him.

    And now, after the disaster of a House vote, amid all this Russia nonsense, running against Karen Handel (she of the Komen cutting ties with PP fame) is trailing 49-46.7.

    This spells disaster. If Ossoff wins, the Dems finally have momentum on their side instead of a string of very narrow losses starting with Hillary.

    Yes, Tom Price won this by over 25 points, but Drumpf won it by just one. If this race is lost, watch for a blood bath in 2018, with Democrats at the receiving end of it.

    Just like they were in 2014 after that infamous shutdown around Christmas 2013 that had the GOP trailing Democrats nationally in congressional polls by 10 points or more.

  • Kaylarmundy

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  • toughsister

    I have lived in GA for the past 35 years. The Karen Handel attack ads are the most divisive I’ve seen. And among the dumbest. And why is she taking money from the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, this fine Fascist organization? And should the State of California, in view of the insults the USCC hurls at it in the ads, close down its offices in the state?

  • L to the T

    I live in the GA06, volunteer for Ossoff’s campaign and uh, if you’re going to knock Handel for not using proofreaders, you should probably know that his name is Jon and not John.
    Sincerely,
    Former proofreader

    • Fivedollarfeminist

      Ouch! Fair point!

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