SHARE

Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the (almost exclusively) James Comey fallout stories we may be talking about today!

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • dslindc
    • ariel_gee_398

      Also would have accepted: “he’s too busy punching Nazis.”

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    OT: So I live in a medium-size town in Arkansas and I just found out that Shonen Knife is playing her Friday. Crazy! I had no idea they were still touring. Missed out on seeing them play with Nirvana and the Breeders during the 90’s. Can’t wait!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Are they perhaps touring the Southland in a traveling minstrel show?

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Asian girl pop-band in blackface? That would be.. Odd.

        • aureolaborealis

          Oddly hot, you mean.

      • Koch Blockula

        Where did you get those shoes?

    • Me not sure

      It could be just the original drummer and three ringers. It happens.

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        The lead singer, Naoko Yamano still heads the band. But you’re probably right about the other two. They’ve changed up members several times since the 90’s.

        • Me not sure

          So,… not The Ringo Starr Beatles Experiance, then?

          • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

            Is that the show where he plays “Octopus’s Garden” for a full hour?

          • Me not sure

            Seriously, there really is a band currently touring called Carl Palmer and the ELP Experience
            Even though Keith Emerson and Greg Lake have both passed.

          • Bozilingus

            Is it A Carl Palmer or THE Carl Palmer?

          • Me not sure

            The.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Awesome. Tortoise brand pot cleaner. Specially selected pot cleaner. The best pot cleaner in the world is Tortoise brand.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Ah, Singapore!

    • Let’s Knife!

  • Crystalclear12

    You know this is going so well for Trump I may not even drink today.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      So does anyone else still think Bender when Jake talks?

  • OrG

    All I wanna know is: Which side is the Pentagon on?

  • Crystalclear12

    Dominic, it’s cheating just typing the same name over and over again.

    • Bozilingus

      CTRL C, CTRL V
      Easy as pi

  • Me not sure

    Has Jeff Sessions gotten his free subpoena from the Federal Attorney’s Office for the Eastern District of Virginia yet? Let the paper fly!

  • UnsaltedSinner

    How dare you ask questions. Wonkette? For shame!

    https://twitter.com/PhilipRucker/status/862274825120886784

    • artem1s

      really, are they trying to trot out that Harridan again? No Kelly we don’t live in your fantasy world of alternative facts and laws.

      • cmd resistor

        She outdid herself, between last night and this morning. Although to be honest it has been a long time since I’ve seen her and maybe just forgot how horrid she is.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I am just old enough to remember when this phrase first hit the news cycle:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiHN3IJ_j8A

      My 11-year-old self said, “That sounds like bullshit to me.”

  • Chadwells

    Nothing is funny today.

  • OneYieldRegular

    You can tell what kind of morning it is when out of every item on the Wonkagenda I skip everything with my eyes focused on the floor and go straight for the one about Shaq running for sheriff in Florida. I sure hope Quincy Jones does the soundtrack for that movie.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I think Shaq would make a pretty decent sheriff actually.
      He’s already an honorary officer in Miami.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Yeah, he’s been doing ride-along patrols for a long time. And at the very least, the optics of a black man in the seat of power is very good for FL.

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Hands too big.

  • arglebargle
    • YoBunnyBunny

      We are all Anderson Cooper.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Sweeet!
        That means I’ve got a full head of hair now!

      • The Eye Roll is strong with this one.

    • CeeQ

      The Bitch, Please eye roll was well deployed.

  • Nounverb911
  • YoBunnyBunny

    Here’s the thing. If there is no THERE there in these investigations, why the fuck would Trump and his minions try to run interference? Granted, one could create a case out of nothing if they’re really creative, but they’d still have to convince everybody else about the strength of their case.

    Even if the fuckshit that we think is going on is NOT going on, I’ll wager, that Little Digits is still afraid unrelated fuckshit will be unearthed. Because… of course.

    By the way, when’s Comey’s kill switch gonna detonate?

    • UnsaltedSinner
    • Crystalclear12

      Well, firing someone within hours of Grand Jury subpoenas are issued doesn’t scream nothing.

    • artem1s

      Nixon couldn’t stand to look bad. So he covered up a relatively minor crime of the burglary. It wasn’t The Plumbers who got him in trouble. It was his own hubris and ego that he should be allowed to do anything he wants. The cover up lead to the blacklist and the slush fund and the corruption and the Saturday Night Massacre. He tried to argue that if the President does it, it can’t be illegal. Sound like anyone we know?

      • MrTusks

        The difference is that Congress cared enough to impeach Nixon and Nixon had enough shame to quit.

        • Yr. Gma

          They “cared” enough when the mood in the country began to shift and Nixon began to hurt Republicans in their own districts. Nixon did not quit because of “shame.” He quit because his fellow Republicans told him how history would view him if he was impeached and that resignation was the way to save his legacy, what was left of it. All of this happened slowly, over years, not months.

  • Nounverb911
    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Yeah. The correct headline is “Obama and BLM to Blame for Comey Resignation”

      • Chris

        Don’t forget Hillary Clinton! If it isn’t Obama’s fault it is Hillary’s!

  • Chadwells

    Good thing I’m cutting a soft scripted heartfelt feel good show….I’ll be interested to see how it looks at the end of the day considering my mood. HAH!

    • msanthropesmr

      Where did all these facehuggers come from in this Lifetime movie of the week?

      • Chadwells

        Mississippi!

  • Nounverb911
    • YoBunnyBunny

      Death by small cuts, Donnie. That’s what you’ve got coming. All these, in your estimation, itty bitty scandals are going to add up if you keep at it. But, as you were, sir.

    • Chadwells

      There’s a lot of truth in that statement.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Go get him! And then, lock him the fuck up!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I have to say, I don’t really understand this weird academic distinction between investigating the “Trump Campaign” versus investigating “Trump himself.” Exactly how would they excise information about Trump from his campaign? And why would they?

      • shivaskeeper

        The campaign can do shady shot to win without telling the boss. The candidate is not the campaign and vice versa.

        Think of it as investigating a corporation. Despite the SCOTUS ruling corporations are not people, so investigating a corporation might or might not lead to arrest and convictions for the CEO. It depends on where the malfeasance took place in the chain.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Well sure, but… if you’re investigating without making any assumptions (which is what real “investigation” would have to consist of), and you’re investigating a campaign, every member of that campaign would have to be “under investigation”, or you’re not really investigating the campaign!

          Does that make sense? Maybe I’m just dense.

          • shivaskeeper

            It does, but a campaign is really going to be like a corporation in this instance. The campaign may have broken the law, An investigation has to be started to determine if something illegal happened at all. If something illegal did happen the next step would be to determine how bad it was, who was behind it, and who knew about it.

            It would be a waste of time, effort, and money to investigate every single person involved in a campaign if there is no way they could have any knowledge of what was going on. If you are investigating collusion between, say a campaign and an adversarial foreign government, there is no reason to waste resources looking into a campaign canvasser in WY. Unless Joe Schmoe in WY has his name cropping up all over the place. When that happens it’s time to look at Joe Schmoe personally.

  • Nounverb911
  • baconzgood

    Baconzfree!!!

    Thanks to all the Wonkers (around the WORLD, YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT?) Who sent me letters, post cards, books and porn while I was unjustly incarcerated for poaching ligers. Your good thoughts and vibes got me through a lot of bull shit.

    Also thanks to Shan (the cool chick I want to bone) for sticking by me when I was being a little bitch complaining about being there.

    Thanks

    • YYEYY!

    • MynameisBlarney

      Didja get sprung from the klink?

      • baconzgood

        Yes

        • MynameisBlarney

          That is fuckin awesome!

          • baconzgood

            Yes it is. Yes it is.

    • Shanzgood

      STOP CALLING ME A COOL CHICK

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Hot chick?

        • Shanzgood

          Ok fine…

      • baconzgood

        It’s a compliment in my circle

        • Shanzgood

          I know, I’m just joshin

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Ahhh….first post-incarceration spat. We all get a little teary when we remember our own.

        • Shanzgood

          Hey!

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Hot diggidy daffodil!

    • Shanzgood
      • baconzgood

        Is this foreplay?

        • Shanzgood

          Pft.

    • Dazza

      Baconz!
      Welcome back!

    • snark-lurker

      R U gonna behave now?

      • baconzgood

        Is getting shot faced at a red neck bar “behaving”? Then yes. I’m going to “behave” in about an hour.

        • Pace yourself. You’ve been dry for a while.

          Or at least eat pizza.

          (Congrats man – really really good news)

    • Ezio

      I don’t recall seeing you much around here but hello!

    • arglebargle

      The only thing better than free bacon is baconzfree.

    • Edith Prickly

      Welcome back! Good to see you.

    • Werewolf

      Molotov!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Yay! I never mailed anything because I’m a total flake. But I am glad you’re out, Baconz. Congratulations.

      • Kaylarmundy

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !ss257c:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. Follow this link for more information
        !ss257c:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs547NetworkTalkGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!ss257c:….,……

    • Chadwells
    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      ~hugs~ This is the first thing that’s made me smile today. :) I’m so happy for you Baconz!

      And you hold on to Shan, Y’hear? She’s a keeper. :D

      • baconzgood

        Yeah she is….I’m in lurv.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

          Smart man. :)

          • baconzgood

            Just lucky. She doesn’t know I’m a Dick yet.

    • Nounverb911
    • LucindathePook

      Yay! Just YAY! But if you want to go back there, I have more postals I can send.

    • Bozilingus

      That reminds me, I have to free some bacon from the freezer.

      Congrats on your return to the fold!

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Hey, la, hey la, the baconz back!….I missed why you were gone, but I just believe in you anyway, ya old crook….

      • Shanzgood

        Apparently it’s illegal in PA to ride centaurs in public.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Welcome back! Now leave the ligers alone! But if you can’t, I recommend a slow cooker, not poaching.

    • CeeQ

      Best news of the day!!!

    • aureolaborealis

      No better bacon than liger bacon.

    • SeeTrain65
    • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

      So glad you’re safely out!

  • Ezio
    • MynameisBlarney

      Huckabee is so goddamned dumb.

    • arglebargle

      The only thing more A Idiot that Huckabee is/are/am anyone who follows him for anything other than shits and giggles.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Oh my freakin’ god. I know Huckabee’s not that stupid. What a lying sack of shit. If I were Christian, I would be ashamed to share a religion with this man.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        I am ashamed to share a *species* with this Bloviating Blivet Bag.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        What, exactly, has led you to believe that he is not that stupid?

        • Lance Thrustwell

          He’s not the sharpest guy in the world, but you don’t have to be a genius to understand that the Democrats’ consternation over Comey’s firing is predicated on a different set of criteria than what constituted their problems with him before. ALL these Republican mouthpieces understand that – they’re just being conveniently disingenuous – i.e. they’re fuckin’ liars.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            You noticed he couldn’t even get the acronym right?

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Hm. You do have a point there.

    • arglebargle

      It’s spelled Cardiaccare NNetwork.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      That boy ain’t right.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      That’s one too many k’s….

    • PubOption

      Cardiac Care Cable Programming?

    • Amongst so many other reasons, i want trump to go down for treason so all these sanctimonious assholes are left utterly defenseless.

    • Yr. Gma

      His new career as comedian isn’t going so well.

      • SeeTrain65

        Yet his career as an asshole continues unabated.

  • Nounverb911

    Katz’s lovers of the world, your long wait for pastrami is over!

    https://twitter.com/WSJ/status/862260701854924800

    By Charles Passy
    May 10, 2017 5:30 a.m. ET

    1 COMMENTS
    For 129 years, Katz’s Delicatessen has served New Yorkers hefty portions of classic Jewish-style fare.
    Now, it is looking to broaden its customer base and deliver pastrami to Pakistan and corned beef to Colombia, among other global locales.
    The deli, a fixture on Manhattan’s Lower East Side, is launching a world-wide shipping service in the coming months as part of a growth plan. Already announced: Katz’s expansion into Brooklyn with a 400-square-foot outpost that is part of the DeKalb Market Hall, a food hall slated to open in early June.

    Katz’s move into shipping isn’t entirely new. As far back as the World War II era, the restaurant encouraged its patrons to “send a salami to your boy in the Army,” a phrase that became forever associated with the establishment.
    But it wasn’t until the ‘90s that Katz’s began shipping in earnest throughout the U.S., with mail orders growing to 10,000 to 12,000 annually, according to owner Jake Dell, who took over the business from family members.
    Mr. Dell plans to grow the shipping side of the business by sending its corned beef, pastrami and other favorite menu items to Canada and Mexico by the end of the year and to other countries starting in 2018. To that end, Katz’s will soon open a 30,000-square-foot facility in Hackensack, N.J., to process domestic and foreign orders.
    Katz’s hasn’t ruled out opening additional retail locations, too, with Mr. Dell mentioning Washington, D.C., Philadelphia and Boston as cities he is considering after Brooklyn. But he said the mail-order business can often be a more effective way to grow a food brand than a restaurant.
    “There’s a limit to the number of people you can fit under one roof, but there’s no limit to the number of pastramis that you can ship,” he said.
    Katz’s isn’t alone among restaurants in embracing shipping. A number of well-known New York dining spots and other purveyors, from Magnolia Bakery to Papaya King, sell items via Goldbely, a company that specializes in mail-order foods.
    And Junior’s, the six-decade-old New York restaurant company, said it ships about 250,000 of its cakes, including its cheesecakes, to customers annually. The company said its mail-order business accounts for roughly 10% of its overall sales.
    Junior’s owner Alan Rosen said the growth speaks to the fact that this is an era where everything can be delivered.
    “When we first started shipping, the thought of sending cheesecakes by mail was strange,” he said.
    Write to Charles Passy at cpassy@wsj.com

    • MynameisBlarney

      AAAAWWWW YISSSSS!!!

  • Crystalclear12

    Today is brought to you by the letters:
    W
    T
    And F.

  • La forza del resistino

    Always thought the Russia/Trump web was more than just plausible but didn’t want to jump in the conspiracy pool like a common Alex Jones.
    This all changed after seeing the Russian foreign minister reply just now to a question re Comey by saying ‘he was fired? you’re kidding me?’.
    Looking for my bathing suit.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      So even the Russians can’t take Trump serious anymore.

    • Chyron HR

      “He was fired? Metaphorically fired, not actually set on fire or otherwise killed? Oh, you wacky Americans!”

      • YoBunnyBunny

        “This is not how we do things in Mother Russia.”

    • arglebargle

      Bathing suit? If you’re already not wearing pants why bother putting anything on?

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Oh, just go European…

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      With Lil’Donnie’s #PeeHooker fetish, you might want to be careful about jumping into that pool and make sure its filled with water first.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    One of the most amazing things is that these dumb fucks obviously thought they were going to get a pat on the head and a cookie for this.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Like when they promote an anti-choice woman to some position of power and feminists refuse to celebrate. Yeesh, what does it take to make you dumb broads happy?

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      No, they thought they could get away with throwing shade in every direction. It’s worked for them so far, for the last few years….

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        SOMEbody is going to get bombed today. Syria? Afghanistan? Australia?

        • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

          Lichtenstein?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I mean, why the fuck not, right?

          • PubOption

            I doubt it. It’s full of dodgy banks, so Trump probably has contacts there.

        • Old Man Yells at Cloud

          Quick, check the Whitehouse menu. Does it have chocolate cake?

  • Well, the shit weasel deserved to be fired, but now we’ve all got to start bothering our congress-dickheads to appoint a special prosecutor.

  • Ezio

    “Roger Stone tells me: “What Comey did to Hillary was disgraceful. I’m glad Trump fired him over it.”

    WHAAAAAAT!!?

    https://mobile.twitter.com/PfeifferDC/status/862093060884312068

  • YoBunnyBunny

    Ok, the red panda babbies were cute, but where’s our non-comment of cute fur babby pics? We need all the cuteness right now.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “stop using the Bible as a weapon.”

    Territory already covered by “Saved”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Z_ajsD4cbY

    • Beowoof14

      On of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies. And appropriate for evangelicals to hear.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Mitch McConnell pretty much choked on his own words on the Senate floor just now, harrumphing about the mean Dems who wanted Comey gone all along and are whining about getting their way at long last. [*cough cough cough*]

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      I love how they’re trying to twist this into, “Look what happens when we try to help the Democrats!” Fuuuuck off with your last minute talking points..

    • cmd resistor

      That guy should be ashamed to walk down the street.

    • Brad H

      Fuck Mitch McConnell. Full stop.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Well at least some little good news: After not getting that job I started applying feverishly to jobs that are a bit out of my league (experience wise) but I felt that was the way forward. Today two got back to me inviting me for a job interview. So kinda proud of myself.

    • chortlingdingo

      Congrats! And good luck with the interviews!

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

      Get some! :D

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Thanks. Empowered by the assesment results I decided to up my game. Feels good to turn a negative into a positive.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

          Well done. :) Believe in yourself!

    • Ghenghis McCann

      By any chance is one of them Director of the FBI? I’ve heard they need to fill that position.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Do they hire Dutchies nowadays?

        • YoBunnyBunny

          No, Russians only.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Доброе утро

          • Oblios_Cap

            Nicely played. You’re hired!
            O/T, but I got an “A” in my COM 5450 class I was taking last semester online. I loved being the oldest person in the Testing Center.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Never apply to a job you already know how to do. Never hire someone who already knows how to do the entire job. You’ll/they’ll be bored and unproductive.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Funny thing is that is exactly why the last job didn’t go through. They were convinced I was the right candidate for what they saw as the future perspective. While evaluating the candidates all of a sudden they realized that if the expected growth wouldn’t go as fast as they initially anticipated they feared I would be bored and a little over qualified. They did not want to start over the entire process after a year so they deciced to hire the guy with the talent but not the proven track record I had.

  • Joe Beese

    I’ve calmed down now.

    Thanks, Donald.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Looks like some potential replacements for Comey are already being considered.

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029040886

  • Antonin Dvorak

    I was going to say something about Mick Mulvaney’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Conference Call; but damn.

    http://www.salon.com/2017/05/03/watch-mick-mulvaneys-phone-call-with-the-media-descends-into-conference-call-hell/

    • UnsaltedSinner

      That was hysterical.

  • shivaskeeper

    Tom Cotton. A man who learned none of the lessons of military service.

    • Chadwells

      I’d like to put him to the test, if you catch my drift. That man is an asshole of the highest order.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Chadwells

      A-fuckin’-men.

    • OrG

      Well, I don’t think their heads are in the sand, but otherwise yes.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Well, metaphorically, “up donald’s ass” is a lot like a large desert, isn’t it?..

        • artem1s

          sry, I’m not going there. I don’t want my imagination ruined forever.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Word this morning is that Spicer is hiding in the pillow fort he built under his bed and is refusing to go to kindergarten.

    • Khavrinen

      Well, to be fair, I suspect he is going to have to deal with even more being shouted at than usual today. On the other hand, he did take the job, after all.

  • Antonin Dvorak
  • artem1s

    ya gotta wonder if the staff has been running Kool-Aid practices the last 100 days. these people are straight up cult lunatics. at this point I’m expecting a full on Waco/Jonestown meltdown when the whole mess collapses.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I wonder how many of his water-carriers are just now realizing that loyalty is a one-way street in Trumpland.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      If they didn’t know that before November, they were not paying attention.

    • artem1s

      this. the IC understood from the beginning what Twittler was all about because they deal with this dictator shit all the time. The FBI has been doing a slow burn because that’s how they roll with RICO cases and mob activity. They are trained to build solid cases. GOPers are generally clueless tools like Issa who don’t recognize they are the sucker at the table until they’ve lost their shirts and underwear. the smart ones are the lifelong bureaucrats who have to develop the skills to survive multiple administrations. That even some of them have been jumping ship tells us a lot about how dangerously chaotic this administration is.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        If their case against Lord Dampnut and his enablers isn’t strong enough, they won’t get another bite at the apple. When a jury acquits a defendant there are no do-overs.

    • Red Bird Ω

      All of them. I’m just waiting for Ivanka to get stomped on. I feel it coming soon.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Nah, I give her 6 years. But once they hit 40, Trump has no use for women.

    • Khavrinen

      No, see, the leopards won’t be eating my face….

  • anwisok

    With Murray quieted, Spicer continued to explain why there’s no need for a special prosecutor.

    “There is clearly at this point no evidence of a reason to do that,” Spicer said. “You have a system that’s working.”

    Nothing to see here, move along. Move along. It’s only the end of the Republic. Move along, move along!

    http://www.ikreddewereld.nl/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Daad-347-Neushoorns-redden.jpg
    http://www.emmaspawprints.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/AAgrL1i.png

    http://amazinganimalstories.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Cute-Baby-Animals-20.jpg
    http://eskipaper.com/images/adorable-baby-animal-wallpaper-1.jpg

    • Red Bird Ω

      I’ll take number 2, please.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    The headline on foxnews.com is how Demoncrats have flipped 180º on Comey. In a few minutes, Fox will be reporting that “many people are blaming Obama for not firing Comey last summer”.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸
      • alwayspunkindrublic

        As we know, the Republican hive mind is incapable of nuance.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Thankfully, Trump has always been consistent in his criticism of Comey.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoIA7y_Kccc

      • Ghenghis McCann

        You can just make out the point when Trump stuck the knife in his back.

      • Yr. Gma

        I like that picture. Giant, slim Comey towering over short fat Donnie.

    • artem1s

      yea, that’s going to go over just about as well as blaming Obama for not properly vetting Flynn for Twittler.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      “Some people say Fox News is full of shit.”

      • Ghenghis McCann

        It must be true. I’ve heard it on the internet. Repeatedly.

  • AJ Milne

    (Blinks…)

    Needz moar stories about Comey.

  • Proud Liberal

    And yet Republicans will pretend to be outraged but will do nothing.

    • OrG

      Again.

    • Yr. Gma

      Again, we can look back at Watergate (which took years to play out, not months.) Nixon was gone when the Republicans saw that he was hurting them more than helping him. His Republican pals were the ones who told him to resign. When Donnie is hurting them more than he’s helping them, then this crowd of spineless thugs will ask him to go. As I keep saying, Donnie’s trajectory is downward.

  • La forza del resistino

    Given that the GOP were using blue slips to light their cigars in the cloakroom for the last 8 years, Tom Cotton is full of Ozark chutzpah.

    • Finnabar87

      AKA hog shit.

  • Ezio
    • YoBunnyBunny

      I’m glad they’re flying their “Fuck you, I got mine!!” flags at full staff.

      Once upon time not too long ago, they were calling themselves the “moral majority” and “compassionate conservatives” and doing all that high-minded holier-than-thou posturing. Not so much anymore, which I don’t mind using my own libtard moral authority, which many of them have no adequate comeback for.

      • At the crossroads, stay strong

        In order to have moral authority you have have actual morals to begin with. The Freedom is Slavery Caucus has declared morals as GOP heresy.

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I’m not sure whether our country being led by 3rd-graders is cause for laughter or to go hide in the closet.

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Apparently they picked all of the 3rd graders that enjoy burning ants alive with magnifying glasses.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Thanks….I did neglect to add “malignant” 3rd graders.

      • It really does feel like we’re in crisis.

    • UnsaltedSinner
      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Huckabee Sanders press conference: “How ya’ll doin’? Aww, bless ya’ll’s little hearts. Well, that’s all the questions I’m taking today, ya’ll come back now, ya hear!”

      • Beowoof14

        When all you do is shovel bullshit, you really would think she would be better at it.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Fools, angels fear to tread, and all that….

      • jodyleek

        I feel bad saying this, but SHS’s hair and blouse look like something more appropriate for a five year old. She looks very immature and my guess is her outer aspect matches her inner.

        • Yr. Gma

          Consider the source (her dad).

    • OneYieldRegular

      “Blow the candles out, Laura.”

  • ServantToTheStars

    I knew Sean reminded me of someone.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Qf6Sv3A9zs

  • Bill Slider

    If I remember correctly, it was Comey’s wife, who was threatening to cut off sexual favors, if Comey didn’t do something to halt the Clinton victory train before November 8th. Now FBI employees allegedly are literally crying that Comey was fired. Comey should be grateful that the president fired him before he could announce the discovery of too many Russians in the Trump White House Mess, pun intended.

  • weejee

    The tRump trolling begins. Send all the White House Orange Shitgibbon Cage staff emails with GoogleDoc spreadsheets attached. Just because.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/362060357676a01190c6925ee6b8a9cefa5c22b36c78611e2a09f825bd39bfda.png

  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    Trump has tweeted himself into maximum over-Drudge this morning, screaming into the ether about confidence and credibility, two of the myriad things he knows nothing about. FIFY

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Stephen Colbert needs to put Tuck Buckford on more often…

  • Bill Slider

    Will Sheriff Shaq require the Florida prisoners to wear pink boxer shorts, like the Arizona famous Sheriff required the Maricopa County prisoners to wear? Inquiring pink flamingos would like to know.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      They must watch “Steel” 5 times a day as punishment.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        Or “Kazaam” for the hard cases.

        • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

          “Kazaam” on a loop in solitary.

          • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

            That’d be too harsh for Gitmo.

    • phoenix00
  • Doug Langley

    I finally talked with the recruiter. Sure enough, the client suddenly decided to wait an extra month before thinking about whether they should hire me or not. Lots of sorrys, etc.

    I don’t have a month. My bank account is down to $1300. That is all the money I have in the world. In a month or so, it gets blown.

    Now I’m dragging myself to mediocre office jobs, anything, but I’m not optimistic. It has never been this bad for me. Never.

    • Red Bird Ω

      Not good. Sorry to hear that.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Keep chuggin….there was a time once when I had $20, no money coming in, and my two year old daughter and I went shopping for food – amazing, how peanut butter, bread, potatoes can last. That was forty years ago. She’s a very accomplished scientist with a good job and I’m still here, maybe a little worse for wear…you will succeed….

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      $1300?? Wow. Can you lend me a few bucks until Friday?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I hope things become better for you quickly.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Keep at it Doug; make sure your friends know your difficulties. When I finally shared this my kids stepped in to pay part of my phone bill, another person hired me to taxi her daughter from school, and some friends moved in here with me to help with housing expenses until the end of summer. If I hadn’t let people know, I would be in much deeper shit than I am.

      Plus my ACA subsidy went through the roof lol, so I’m actually lower on my health care expense.

      • Doug Langley

        Um, I don’t have any kids and you people are pretty much it for my friends. I moved to this town 5 years ago and the only people I know are those I’ve worked with.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          I suspicioned that might be the case. But you need to create yourself a support system. (And I know this is really hard for introverts)

    • VirginiaLady

      Sorry. I know it’s scary as fuck. Keep some funds rolling in anyway you can. I hope it gets better soon!

    • Do you have any access to gov’t assistance programs? Local DHS offices? Not sure where you are, but your local rep can also sometimes help. Here in Chi, our alderman have loads of referrals.

      Also have you tried the local library (I’m sure you’ve done all these things, i just do ACA outreach and we keep a list of people that can help).

    • Yr. Gma

      I’m sorry, Doug.

  • Scooby

    What did Fox & Friends have against Comey?

    • chicken thief

      Doocey’s face on James’ crotch?

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend
    • jodyleek

      Oh lord, he has those creepy, dead shark eyes. Figures.

    • Greyhame

      And still, no one has ever heard him speak a word in public.

  • eyelashviper

    I just contacted my Congress members here in Florida, an was respectful (how I had to grit my teeth and control my angry fingers), but essentially demanded that they push for a Special Prosecutor, and anything less is collusion with criminality and treason.
    The heat has to be on, from everywhere, to get this done, and to rant at those who refuse, as they are as dangerous as the Shitgibbon in the Oval Office.

  • BrendaKay

    I think we are going to need extra cute animal videos and pics today. I’ll start:
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e2809f2fc9c6a8363dda0499722934ae056c43cb9b1af118c651a5c306b7c150.jpg

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    Theres no way to sugarcoat it. The Republican party is a enemy of America. They have basically chosen the party over country. They are now the greatest threat to America and its people. If i had my way, every republican in congress and in the white house would be in jail, they would have to build a bigger prison to hold them. Since that wont happen, we need to decimate them with votes. Vote them out of every public office down to fucking dogcatcher.

    • chicken thief

      Just slow the fuck down, now, libtard. Just you wait and see how great America becomes after the marginal tax rates for the upper .1% are cut to zero!!!! Little Baby Jesus is going to have to up His perks in heaven ’cause America will be that good!

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        I am still waiting to be tired of winning myself

  • Thaumaturgist

    Dominic. Good catch about Spicer saying the reason they fired Sally Yates is that she was a Killery Klinton supporter.

  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    I’d like to stay and play longer, but it’s going on tomorrow and I just got an email from Sean Spicer saying he’d send Sarah Huckabee Sanders to my house if I didn’t give my cats their evening treat and prepare to be received by the arms of Hello, Kitty. Y’all stay as sane as ya can now, y’hear? おやすみなさい and all that.

  • Marceline

    How much do you want to bet that Eric Cantor was at David Brat’s town hall with a big ole tub of popcorn and a smile?

    • Bitter Scribe

      Maybe, but don’t ask me to sympathize. Cantor would almost certainly have voted for that health care abomination himself.

      • bupkus231

        Hell, Cantor would have insisted on “co-authorship” credit!

  • SweetDeeKat

    Whoa, first story about Angry Spice IS THE BEST. Actually huddling in the bushes to avoid reporters, then frothing and blathering as he’s surrounded.

    • eyelashviper

      yep, and even SNL didn’t think of it first, though I do anxiously await an update by Melissa.

      • I hereby decree that Spicey is henceforth known as Bush Spice

        • mancityRed6

          since he is bush league at best, it works for me

  • Mpeg

    ..”kicked Ken Cuccinelli right in the talking points” – – moar impeccable headlines like this, please. I will savor this one like a thirsty Red Panda gulping down that exotic ceramic-container’d drinkywater~

    • bupkus231

      All Cooch has is “talking points”. The allusion to him having anything else to kick is a wasted effort….

  • chicken thief

    Rodney Frelinghuysen is my rep (in hiding)! Look at the big balls on Rodney, who won’t hold a town meeting!

  • calliecallie

    How many hours of animal videos must Dominic watch to find us the cutest ones every day?

  • Poly_Ester

    With donnie’s work schedule, Tuesday is the new Friday.

    • Wookie Monster

      He has a schedule? I thought he just wandered around until someone shoved an EO in front of him or he walked past a TV.

      • phoenix00

        Golf schedule. Since you know, Presidenting is so hard and he deserves his regularly scheduled 5-day weekends.

  • Khavrinen

    “Ben Carson woke up and praised federal workers, now that he’s seen how much they actually bust their ass”

    Sounds like someone wants to be next on the list of people says “You’re fired” to…

  • aureolaborealis
  • Jeff Mc Donald

    Look, there are people who just don’t like our President. We call those people “sane”. It means you seem OK mentally speaking. There are other people who like our President. Mom said not to talk about them because if you don’t have anything nice to say…

Previous articlePussy Trump Fires FBI Director James Comey For Failure To BOW DOWN
Next articleRod Rosenstein Just Borked Himself