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Everybody ready for some Senate-Judiciary Trump-Russia Sally Yates whatever-other-SEO-terms-should-be-here LIVEBLOG? US TOO! Even though it is Evan’s day off and we’re not sure it’s even ALLOWED for us to handle the midday-drunk-typing, and also we’re gonna need a drink!

Be right back!

Appropriate.

The question on everyone’s lips of course, is will Donald Trump shit himself in rage, or in fear? Which shitting shall it be???

2:33 PM: Lindsey Graham opens the hearing by calling Russia “no good” about 50 hundred times and enunciating their manifold crimes against us. Did you know you shouldn’t like Russia trying to fuck our elections EVEN if it helps Republicans? So weird. Oh yeah, “also we’ll talk about unmasking, since my fellow Republicans are pretty sure they can turn this whole thing around to be a slam on sneaky evil wire-tappping Democrats, which they can’t.”

2:42 PM: Oooooh, Sheldon Whitehouse brings up Felix Sater — a convicted felon with ties to the grand dragon poobah of Russian Mafiosi, who worked with Trump for YEARS getting Russian investors. Trump? Yeah, doesn’t know him.

2:48 PM: James Clapper, former Director of National Intelligence, is testifying first. He said in March he’d seen “no evidence” of Trump Russia collusion. Now he will briefly address this 52-page list of topics. BRING US YATES YOU FUCKERS.

2:50 PM: James Clapper wants to remind you, Senator Lindsey, that although Putin hacked the RNC as well as the DNC, he declined to release any stolen Republican emails through his BFF Julian Assange at Wikileaks. (And don’t forget Paul Ryan and pals in the House made good use of stolen emails from their opponents as well!)

2:55 PM: James Clapper says, approximately, “unmasking is fine Jesus Christ shut up about it you big fucking liars with your unmasking lies!” But he doesn’t use exclamation points, because he is extremely ancient and a yell might kill him dead.

3:00 PM: I THINK James Clapper just said it was his bad that he pooh-poohed Trump Russia collusion, because he didn’t know about the FBI investigation into just that very thing, but I don’t know how to rewind my sister-in-law’s TV, so we’ll have to mark that “unproved.”

And it’s YATES TIME! She sounds like she could be played by Sandra Bullock doing her Texas “Blind Side” thang.

Yates says she ain’t gonna say shit she ain’t authorized to leak in public, or are part of ongoing investigations, she is a serious person of seriousness, not some kinda Republican shitbird.

3:06 PM: Dianne Feinstein: “Hey lady, what’s up with the shitbirds in the White House? You see this crazy shit about President Bamz TOLD Trump not to hire the crazy dick?” (Direct quote.)

3:10 PM: Lindsey Graham: “Yo James Clapper, you still stand by that nonsense about no Trump Russia collusion?” Clapper: “Ayup.”
Lindsey: “Same question to you, lady.”
Yates: “Classified, can’t answer.”
Lindsey: “The fuck you think is wrong with Clapper, Yates? Think he ain’t know nothin’?”
Yates: “Probs yeah.”

3:11 PM: Lindsey: “Give us the dirt, Yates. Give us ALLLLL the dirt. The fuck was up with this grifter Mike Flynn?”
Yates: “I had a meeting with Don McGahn, the White House ‘council.’ Everything you ask me ’bout whether I unmasked this fucker is classified, never gonna tell you nope.”
Lindsey wants to know if we’ll be able to find out who unmasked poor, persecuted Mike Flynn, but moves on eventually. Yates “walked the White House counsel” through all the shit they knew about Flynn being a big ol’ Russia-talker who was talkin’ to Russia, and he’d been caught “lying” to Mike Pence. They were very clear that they weren’t accusing Pence of lying to the public on purpose, heavens no!

Well, that’s one of you, lady.

3:17 PM: Lindsey gets to the heart of this whole thing: Were Trump or his associates netted in incidental collection during the election? Clapper: Nah bro. Yates: Not tellin’.

3:20 PM: Sheldon Whitehouse: Miz Yates, was Don McGahn worried you were going to put Mike Flynn in jail?
Yates: Oh, hell yeah.

3:25 PM: Yates: “To state the obvious, you don’t want your national security advisor compromised by the Russians.” Boy howdy nope!

3:30 PM: Chuck Grassley knows what is important, and that is that someone leaked THE TRUTH to the Washington Post, which meant that poor Mike Flynn didn’t get to be NSA anymore :(

3:30 PM: Chuck Grassley: Did you request an unmasking of Mr. Trump or his associates?
James Clapper: As a matter of fact, lemme think about it, YUP SURE DID.

James Clapper gonna go to unmasking JAIL!

Here is what “unmasking” is and why Clapper is NOT GUILTY HOORAY!

3:36 PM:

Factcheck: TRUE!

3:50 PM: Everybody got home and they are FULL OF BEANS and also TALKING and mama can no longer hear SHIT! Dok shall take over for you NOW!

3:55 PM: John Cornyn is getting to the really important stuff: Why did Sally Yates decide, all by herself, that Trump’s Muslim Ban I was unconstitutional? This may be a hearing on Russian interference in the election, but just who is this crazy woman and why does she think she can buck her boss, the President of the United States? He’s only askin’.

4:00 Dick Durbin of Illinois just reminded everyone that three federal judges agreed that Muslim Ban I was indeed unconstitutional, but failed to point out they were all liars who hate Trump, and bad judges. Then he pointed out that it’s awfully weird the Senate’s Russia investigation doesn’t have a single full-time staffer assigned to it. Then he got back to the actual questions about Flynn and wire tapps and stuff. We believe John Cornyn’s shin just got kicked.

4:02 Sally Yates is smarter than to speculate how Sean Spicer comes up with his ideas. Not going there.

4:05 Sally Yates can’t comment on why it took 18 days after her warning for the Trump administration to shed Mike Flynn, because, as you’ll recall, she was fired January 30.

4:03 Holy shit it’s Ted Cruz, someone get us a barf bag, and is he fucking asking about Huma Fucking Abedin? Good lord. Now THIS is some investigatin’!

4:05 Fuck you Ted Cruz, fuck you Ted Cruz, fuck you Ted Cruz. Hey, let’s ask about Whitewater, while we’re at it.

4:06 Miss Yates, would you eat green eggs and ham on a boat? Would you eat them with a goat? Would you eat them while openly defying the constitutional authority of the President of the United States?

4:08 And once more, we’re litigating Yate’s decision not to defend Muslim Ban I. And Yates just owned Cruz: You know what? Usually the writing of an executive order doesn’t shut out the attorney general, acting or otherwise. Cruz: It sure would if you’re a big ol’ DEMOCRAT!

4:12 Damn, we really thought this hearing was supposed to be about Flynn and Russia. Instead, we’re going to try Sally Yates for failure to follow the president’s orders, even if they’re illegal.

4:15 Sally Yates would definitely not say she merely gave the White House a “heads up,” and that she didn’t leave any doubt Flynn had been talking to Russia, not to a 400 pound man on a bed in New Jersey. And she made it clear he was open to blackmail.

4:20 Amy Klobuchar would like to ask about shell corporations and money laundering done with shady real estate deals. Not that any particular real estate is under discussion here. Also, hey, wouldn’t an independent commission be useful in preventing foreign interference in our elections. James Clapper seems to think the focus really should be on the Russian interference in the 2016 election, for some reason, instead of all the other directions this circus has been going.

4:22 Republican Ben Sasse is actually asking cogent questions about the Russian hacks. Didn’t he get the memo that the goal here is to go off on tangents?

4:25 Clapper is chuckling at the characterization of Julian Assange as a journalist. Is he protected by the First Amendment? Can we torture him? Err, treat him as something other than a journalist?

4:28 Rebecca in the Sekrit Chatcave: “Ben Sasse acquitted himself well, spoke in proper, grammatical clauses, and didn’t totally avoid the topic. One to fear 2020 I think.”

4:30 Clapper is not going along with Chris Coons’s question about whether “certain alt-right websites” (he means BREITBART) amplified Russian fake news operation. That’s a question for domestic intelligence. Also, who wants to even read Breitbart?

4:32 Yates simply can’t answer any of these detailed questions about what she told Team Trump about Flynn. How seriously did the White House take her warning? Well, she doesn’t know exactly what they did, but she doesn’t know whether they actually did anything. But if she hadn’t been fired, and she knew nothing was happening, she’d have brought it up again.

4:40 Oh, thank goodness, we’re back to Yates and the Muslim Ban, because clearly THAT tells us a whole lot about national security. Yates notes that if Congress passed a law she thought was unconstitutional, she wouldn’t send DOJ lawyers to defend it. Dear Crom, are the Rs really going to spend all their time cross-examining Yates? “With all due respect, Who appointed YOU to the Supreme Court,” lady? Fuck you, baby Senator Kennedy from Louisiana.

4:42 Have you ever leaked information, classified or unclassified, to the press? Cornyn: If it’s unclassified, it’s not a “leak.” And everyone laughs at the aggressively stupid senator from Louisiana.

4:45 Patrick Leahy seems to think refusing to defend an unconstitutional law is somehow admirable. How partisan!

4:47 Leahy is saying something, but all we can hear is Grandpa Simpson complaining he’s missing “Matlock.” This is quite unfair of us, we realize.

4:52 Al Franken! He sure pauses a lot for a comedian! Hey, why DID the Russians decide they liked Trump so much?

4:56 General Clapper, since you retired, have you felt the need to go on Russia Today? That’s sort of weird how Flynn did that, huh?

Also, in the very first meeting, since Yates laid out Flynn was lying, why do you suppose the White House Counsel didn’t seem to understand it was a big deal that one White House staffer lied to another. Who was the Vice President? And why would Justice find that relevant? Franken thinks this is clearly a matter of concern, for some reason. So uptight, these Dems.

4:58 Maybe the reason nobody in the White House thought Flynn lying about the Russians was no biggie was that every third person in the administration was talking to the Russians, too. “Care to comment?” Larffs!

Mr. Franken is gobsmacked

5:00 Mr. Blumenthal of Connecticut wants an independent commission AND a special prosecutor. Instead he’ll get Devin Nunes in a clown suit and be told to stop making a fuss.

5:05 Let’s list all the ways Mike Flynn could go to the pokey!

5:07 As a private citizen, wouldn’t you like to see a special counsel appointed? “Not gonna go there, Senator.” How about as an expert witness for this committee? As a dessert topping? A Floor wax?

5:10 Hawaii’s Maisie Hirono would like to know precisely how full of shit Sean Spicer is in contending that Barack Obama should’ve vetted Mike Flynn better for Donald Trump. James Clapper explains that, in general, a security clearance is very different from an investigation for a White House job. But he doesn’t have any special information about what Flynn’s background check included.

5:13 Clapper will not comment on Donald Trump’s Tweets, because there are some shows he’d rather not watch.

5:15 Can we all agree cover-ups are bad? Welp, we can’t agree that babies deserve medical attention, so maybe not.

5:17

5:18 Lindsey Graham is taking us into the Lightning Round, and this will eventually end, since there’s a vote at 5:30. Do we know who unmasked the conversation between Flynn and the Russians? How did the information get to the Washington Post? Who put the overalls in Mrs. Murphy’s chowder?

5:20 Sheldon Whitehouse clarifies, once again, that having a security clearance from the Department of Defense is not the same as being vetted for national security adviser, so there. Also, now he’s just trying to talk fast to trip up the stenographer. Not gonna happen.

5:25 Chuck Grassley will now take the remainder of the hearing asking something incoherent about unmasking. Maybe Clapper could answer it in a classified briefing. Someone PLEASE slip Grassley the “Fuck You, San Diego” cue card!

5:28 With time winding down, James Clapper says continued investigation will be educational for the public. Perhaps it could be a reality series! Or an actual independent commission, outside of Congress, please, please?

5:30 Amy Klobuchar: are Americans well educated on Russian disinformation? Why should that topic be different from any other?

5:33 Oh God it’s Kennedy from Louisiana being a damn idiot again. How did Flynn get a security clearance in the past if “they” knew in December 2016 he’d been talking to the Russians? The whole point here is that the Trump administration didn’t vet him, you chowderhead. Now let’s yell at Yates more about that executive order.

5:39 Lindsey Graham is glad we all know more about what Russia did to our election in 2016, at least when the hearing actually addressed that, and now it’s all just housekeeping. But Sheldon Whitehouse would just like to mention one more time that shell corporations are very risky, GOODBYE! Now shut up, Brian Williams, THE END.

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  • Dg Hacket

    Me, I’m ready to rumble

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Trump’s large intestines, also too.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    This is Spitfire Lead, all Spitfires, check in:

  • FlownΩver

    Bqhatevwr you can type will be fine.

  • La forza del resistino

    Please let Sally enter the room with a pair of canaries in a cage.

  • Mpeg

    I feel like singing ♫ “A Very Un, Ver-Un-Birthday” ♪ and I’m not even drunk yet.

  • Spurning Beer

    Alright! I may be old, but I came here to chew bubblegum and, uh, I forgot the other thing.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Come senators, congressmen
    Please heed the call
    Don’t stand in the doorway
    Don’t block up the hall
    For he that gets hurt
    Will be he who has stalled
    There’s the battle outside raging
    It’ll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls
    And the pants y’all will be shitting.

    /apologies to Dylan

  • dslindc
  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Bonus of working at home: Access to alcohol at times like these.
    Drawback of working at home: Not being able to drink and effectively work.

    But at least I can non-drink in my PJs.

    • msanthropesmr

      What is effectively working, anyway?

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Good point. But I do give it the old college try. Which may be the issue, since I should be giving it the law school try. Hell. I’m just trying.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Wonket HR wants your assurance that those PJs do not include pants. Appropriate non-standards of non-appropriateness among your fellow non-commenters must be maintained.

  • crabbychic

    Whatever you do, do NOT throw a briefcase on the floor because then Sally might look and blow the whole case against Mike Brady…

  • Ben_Hz

    Can’t wait for the “Talking Sally” show on AMC after the show!

  • mrFawkes

    Bring on the Yates, Keats, dick jokes, mommyblog recipes…all of them Katie

    • politicallie

      Awe!!!

  • Proud Liberal
  • Chadwells

    Let’s get the show on the road!!!!!

    https://youtu.be/G7MoXPxA5LM

    • Proud Liberal

      Ha! I was just thinking the same thing.

      • Chadwells

        I’ve been running around my office screaming this!! LOL! They hate me….

        • MynameisBlarney

          I do that far too often my damn self.

  • elviouslyqueer
    • BadKitty904

      I so luv that graphic.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Pupperz, stop distracting me from work, or so help me Dog I will squeeze you and pet you and hug you and call you George.

  • bbayliss

    “only god knows” Graham.

    • FlownΩver

      Assuming “god” = every sentient being.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Don’t fuck this up, Lindsay.

    • La forza del resistino

      1 minute in and he let you down. he’s talking unmasking.

      • Shibusa

        Remember when Robert Novak unmasked Valerie Plame as a covert CIA operative? Good times.

  • Thiazin Red
    • Chadwells

      LOL! That was on last night!!

  • Chadwells
  • Mpeg

    That kitchen and its contents look so inviting Trix. Imma parachute me there..

  • Marceline

    OT: If you want a little chicken soup for the soul, my senator Sherrod Brown (or I as I call him Dimples McCurlyTop) wrote a damn fine op-ed about populism for USA Today.

    “Populism does not divide our society into these people here or those people over there. It doesn’t fan resentments and exploit grievances. Populism never excludes based on race or gender or religion. It doesn’t appeal to some by pushing others down; it embraces everyone.

    Populism speaks out against a church shooting, or a threat against a Jewish center, or the bombing of a mosque. A populist stands in solidarity against all acts of hate.”

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2017/05/08/true-populism-unites-not-divides-sherrod-brown-column/101407506/

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    Hi, I’m Lindsay Graham, and I’m here to run interference.

    • ariel_gee_398

      He’s looking rather low energy. Is he up for the job?

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    And we open with a soliloquy from Miss Lindsey. “It could be our campaigns next.” Ah yes. Self-interest. It’s about time you arrived at the party.

    • bbayliss

      Never fails.

  • BadKitty904
  • bbayliss

    The great unmasking

    • BosGrl

      You meddling kids!

  • Proud Liberal

    This unmasking bullshit again?

    • bbayliss

      You voted for it asshole.

      • Proud Liberal

        No. I absolutely did NOT.

        • bbayliss

          I was addressing Mr Graham, sorry,.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            You lie down with dogs, you get up with doggie STDs.

          • Proud Liberal

            I apologize. I was wondering what I had said. LOL.

          • bbayliss

            Happens all the time.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I always think of that party in “Eyes Wide Shut” when I hear “unmasking.” Right. I really can hear you judging me.

      • cmd resistor

        I often think of masking tape.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I love that movie.

    • Creepoman

      Isn’t that how every episode ends on Scooby Doo?

  • Chadwells

    Have Graham’s aides brought in his fainting couch yet? He gone need it!

    • bbayliss

      tight bodice.

    • eggsacklywright

      And The Parasol!

  • Lamashtar

    Reminder: they DID hit the Republicans in hte primary!

  • Vincent Ricola

    C’mon with the Q&A – no one is watching to hear Linds ramble about “unmasking.”

    • La forza del resistino

      It’s not the crime. It’s your cover up plan taking on leaks

  • CripesAmighty

    Ahhh, here we are. Got popcorn and chili dogs–ready to rummmble *chrinch, crunch*.

    • msanthropesmr

      With chili dawgs it’s more of an internal rumble.

  • crabbychic

    I wonder when Miss Lindsay lost his girlish 18-inch waist..

    • BosGrl

      Whalebone is hard to come by these days…

      • mardam422

        I was going to use Whalebone as my porn name. You know, if I was a pornstar, and I had a…you get the drift.

    • OrG

      Not compatible with a quart of Gin a day.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      You’d be surprised how many calories there are in,…..
      Ooops, said too much.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Propaganda, fake news and bots! Oh my!

  • politicallie

    We have charts!

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      But who gets to fill in the boxes? WHO?

      • jesterpunk

        George Soros?

    • CripesAmighty

      Works better if on a checklist, you actually *check* the list.

  • h4rr4r

    Please let there be something to this.

  • Spurning Beer

    Sheldon! Little Rhody represent!

    • La forza del resistino

      Best POTUS candidate name in the business.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        The only Whitehouse I trust any more.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Right. Of course we need to get to the bottom of unmasking. Because you have no idea how that works.

    • jesterpunk
    • Shoto

      Nor do they have any idea that “unmasking” is a fucking routine matter in the intelligence community. But don’t take my word for it, ask Malcolm Nance.

    • bbayliss

      GIYF

    • FlownΩver

      Or, apparently even what it is.

  • Shoto

    I’m confused. What does this have to do with Benghazi!!!?

    • CripesAmighty

      George Soros.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I know. They haven’t even mentioned her emailz yet.

      • “M”

        Any minute now.

        Nothing about Pence’s, though …

    • exinkwretch

      Hillary will be revealed as a Russian sleeper agent!

      • La forza del resistino

        Donald did accuse her of excessive napping.

        • “M”

          He’s a walking, talking, shouting case of projection, isn’t he …?

    • “M”

      Jason isn’t here. He’s foot surgery.

      ‘Cause his Obamacare includes pre-existing conditions, ’cause Congress.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    “No one has been poisoned here…yet.” [*duh, duh, DUH*]

    • CripesAmighty

      Wanna bet? I’d say there are a few hundred million of us feeling pretty queasy…

  • Msgr_MΩment

    How did the classified information get in the newspapers, Donnie? Couldn’t be your super secure assistants, now, dude, could it?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Come on, senators, STFU and get to the good stuff!

  • Lamashtar

    Leeeee-vrage!!

  • Suse

    Tell me again how Drumpf’s win was legitimate.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      So.Much.Winning

  • goonemeritus

    I don’t have time to listen, has Trump been hauled off in shackles yet?

    • BosGrl

      Unfortunately, his tiny little hands keep slipping out.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Not yet – hopefully soon after the long introduction portion of the event is finally completed.

      • goonemeritus

        I’ll set a Google alert, I put aside a very nice bottle of Nyquil to celebrate when the happy day comes.

    • bbayliss

      We’re still on money laundering.

    • Shibusa

      Prisondent Trump

    • ltmcdies

      Wait for it…..

  • mrFawkes

    “I’d like to start things off with a favorite quote. Wine comes in at the mouth
    And love comes in at the eye;
    That’s all we shall know for truth
    Before we grow old and die.
    I lift the glass to my mouth,
    I look at you, and I sigh.”

  • These liveblogs (among other things) are why I subscribe to you fabulous bitches. You’re doing the metaphorical lord’s work here, Wonkette!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Of course, Trump could clarify this by releasing his taxes. GO SENATOR WHITEHOUSE!

  • crabbychic

    If this was an episode of “Scarecrow and Mrs. King”, Boxleitner would have WRAPPED THIS SHIT UP, YO

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I like you. :)

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Nancy Drew and her boyfriend Ned would already be at the soda shop by now.

      • therblig

        the scooby gang would have pulled off that mask and found Old Mister Putin!!

        ruh-roh

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        One of those guys was a beard for the other. I’ve never been able to decide which.

        • cmd resistor

          I was about to say Ned, but you’re right, could be either and I wasn’t paying attention back when I read the books.

        • georgiaburning

          Nancy always blushed when Cherry Ames was mentioned

      • MynameisBlarney

        Johnny Quest and Race Bannon…

        Well….nevermind.

    • TJ Barke

      Columbo would have One More Thing’d by now.

      • eggsacklywright

        “Just clearing up some details for my report.”

    • MynameisBlarney

      HA!

      Talk about a blast from the past!

      • cmd resistor

        Not THAT far in the past. We periodically watch all the old episodes.

        • MynameisBlarney

          ’83?

          • cmd resistor

            I figure the past is before I was born.

          • goonemeritus

            No, it’s before I was born.

          • cmd resistor

            Or, it’s not ancient if you saw it first not in re-runs.

    • Shoto

      And MacGyver would have already MacGuyvered the shit out of this bullshit.

  • bbayliss

    Carter Page, drink!

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    Anybody notice the size of the font on Whitehouse’s notes? It’s huge.

    • jesterpunk

      Trump only reads briefings with large double spaced font and lots of pictures and it has to be on a single page.

    • mardam422

      I tried that on a two page book report in 10th grade. Came back with a giant “C” on one page and a “-” on the second.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • bbayliss

      Goodness that’s me without the coffee

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    So? What’s happening?

  • Suse

    I like how the crimes and Drumpf connections are being laid out succinctly.

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Who’s doing that? I’m at work and I can’t watch the live stream.

      • Suse

        Sen Sheldon Whitehouse.

  • Nick.Trite

    Compromising material? Come on, pee tape (not literally, please. That will ruin its value as evidence)

  • Beanz&Berryz

    So Evan spells his name Rebecca now? And also too, the Wonkebago in Portland has a bigger fancier kitchen than it used too…

  • Lamashtar

    18 Day Gap is compared to 18 Minute Gap from Watergate!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I got my jeans form The 18 minute Gap.

  • bbayliss

    !8 minute gap…18 day gap…
    that writers workshop paid off.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    FINALLY! Witnesses and less speaky speaky!

  • Chadwells

    18 minutes vs 18 days….BOOM…Whitehouse starts firing shots!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Here she is!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Clapper: I thought this shit was over.

    • bbayliss

      did he invent it?

    • Lamashtar

      But they pulled me back in!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    “He’s served his country for many years, in uniform and out.”

    Buried lede: Clapper doesn’t always wear pants.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Underground Wonketteer.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Basic geometry… tops and bottoms…

  • Shibusa
  • Nick.Trite

    Poor James “I can’t believe you dragged me out of retirement for this shit” Clapper. Don’t force the poor guy to talk about what we all already know.

  • Bill D. Burger

    If you missed Babble Spice’s presser today, here’s a summation:

    http://www.underconsideration.com/brandnew/archives/giphy_sideshow_bob.gif

  • Lamashtar

    Clapper says WH took Executive Privilege!

    • h4rr4r

      Where do you grab them for that?

      • Vecchioivan

        Hey-o!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    So, Mr. Clapper, are you happy to be out of office?

  • Suttree

    “When my term happily ended.”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Who’s in charge of happy endings at CIA?

      • BosGrl “Unmasked”

        Friendly’s…

      • Suttree

        Whoever they have at the black sites?

      • elviouslyqueer

        Um, Ivanka. DUH.

      • OrG

        Russian pee-hookers.

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Those prostitutes in South America last I heard, although current administration may favor the Russian variety.

      • La forza del resistino

        Boris and/or Natasha?

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        “Those creepy Dulles brothers, doing unspeakable things with bananas.” – Malory Archer

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Clapper’s head is shiny.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      It makes his brain look bigger.

    • eggsacklywright

      Is he the one that lied to Congress?

      • Lamashtar

        Yes.

        • eggsacklywright

          It’s hard to keep track of all these fuquads.

      • BadKitty904

        One of the ones?

    • bbayliss

      Acme billiard ball wax

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”
    • Bill D. Burger

      Confuses the enemy___the American people.

      “Look…shiny object!”

    • eggsacklywright

      Improves his deflection capabilities.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      It’s called a stealth ‘do.

  • Meccalopolis

    Clapper better not say no evidence of collusion

    • h4rr4r

      He will.

      That is why they have him going first. To soften the blow.

  • politicallie

    Stop fidgeting and pay attention!

  • benkozicki

    OH MY FUCKING LORD IT’S GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      The last six months have been really shitty… we need this.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Clapper: the IC was professional and did its job, unlike some other assholes.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Air quotes FTW!

  • elviouslyqueer

    Shorter Clapper: the Intelligence Community knows what the fuck it’s doing, no matter what the babbling shithead in the White House says.

  • CripesAmighty

    Haha. Clapper slaps down ‘unmasking’ bullshit.

    • bbayliss

      Karate chop

  • Marceline

    Clapper is going to walk these folks through unmasking like they’re idiots.

    • Vincent Ricola

      I’m amused.

    • ltmcdies

      Well….

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Probably a safe assumption, for some of them anyway.

      • “M”

        They keep bringing it up, despite its utter irrelevance, because they want to try to hang something on Susan Rice – because white men like that want all black women (April Ryan, Maxine Waters, Donna Banks, Donna Brazile) to be scapegoats.

        Their fault.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Sometimes you don’t get the grade school explanation you want; you get the one you need.

    • Shoto

      To be fair, they are idiots – at least on the Republican side.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • benkozicki

      Let’s have Feinstein ask questions whose answers we all already know already.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        It’s to establish the baseline. Like when the polygraph operator asks you your name. So I’m told.

    • BadKitty904

      Because they are idiots.

  • politicallie

    Quote” ” unmasking.

  • Shoto

    Is Clapper kicking the legs out of the “unmasking” stool?

    • bbayliss

      one legged stool

  • Vecchioivan

    Looks like Trump & Co. is catching a dose of Clapper.

  • bbayliss

    25% have been unmasked

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Didn’t Walter White off this guy in one of the very last episodes?

    • Wild Cat

      He only killed bald Latinos, I think.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Clapper: Leaks =/= unmasking, idiots.

  • Lamashtar

    LOL leaks and unmasking are different, Clapper says

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    “Everyone got ‘unmasking,’ now? Here’s what a ‘leak’ is, you morons.”

  • elviouslyqueer

    “Unmasking is totes okay, so STFU, Lindsey.”

    • laughingnome

      Except at those parties he goes to. You know – those parties.

      • BadKitty904

        *wink, wink*

  • La forza del resistino

    And to think we’re paying Donald 400k to watch teevee.

    • Shoto

      To be fair, there are a bunch of teevees in the White House, and some of them are even Big Screens.

    • FlownΩver

      And we’re paying his golf courses to let him not do his fucking job

  • bbayliss

    Distinction between unmasking and leaking for idiots.

  • Shibusa

    Context Schmontext!

  • CripesAmighty

    A ‘leak’ is what the craven dipshits squatting at the White House do.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      And the hookers of the Ritz Carlton.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        The Pitz Carlton

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    Who wants to bet that “unmasking” will resurface as a right-wing talking point as soon as this guy goes back into retirement?

    • jesterpunk

      I wouldnt even give it that long, it will be a talking point in a few minutes if it isnt already.

    • Suttree

      It will be their main talking point. Completely lying about what Clapper just said.

    • Kelly Leonhard

      Maybe they’ll save it for when Bengazi loses steam…

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Fox News: “Unmasking.. The Deep State!”

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    The FBI straddles things. Dirrrrty.

    • laughingnome

      Reverse federal style.

    • La forza del resistino

      picture J Edgar and add a eewwww

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Dammit, how long until Sally gets to speak?

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    James Clapper is a bad ass!

    • BadKitty904

      James Clapper is fed up with GOP Congressional bullshit.

      • MynameisBlarney

        So are a LOT of people.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      He sounds pissed as fuck to be there. “I shouldn’t have to tell you all this very basic bullshit, you idiots.”

      • BadKitty904

        “If you morons would do your fucking jobs…”

        ~ J. Clapper

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        Subtext: “Now fucking act on it!”

  • CripesAmighty

    Shorter: ‘FISA For Dummies’.

  • elviouslyqueer

    “Non-US persons… LET ME REPEAT THAT IN CASE YOU DUMBASSES DIDN’T CATCH IT.”

  • bbayliss

    MISCONCEPTIONS! used to be called lies

  • crabbychic

    And THAT’s how you “Clap back”

  • Vecchioivan
    • Wild Cat

      You think Jonathan and Flip ever got it on?

  • bbayliss

    Clap on, clap off

  • Wild Cat

    Is the Russian Bear statue off of the White House roof or are we still Putin’s serfs?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Clapper: this is a threat to democracy, assholes: pay attention.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    SALLY!

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      Ride, Sally, ride!!

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Dayum

  • bbayliss

    MARRY ME!

  • Shoto

    And here we go…

  • crabbychic

    The cutaways to Miss Lindsey frantically flipping through her Trapper Keeper take me back.

  • LadyLaz

    Did Clapper reverse himself and say he was wrong wrong wrong in March of 2016

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    And we’re pleased to have you here, Ms. Yates! Speak truth to power!

    • Vecchioivan

      Scatter pearls before these swine.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Here, Sally. Imma drop this mike right here.

    • eggsacklywright

      I wish she was my girlfriend.

  • Lamashtar

    ah, she’s a Georgian :D

    • LadyLaz

      There are a few good’uns down here. Or to channel my occasional southern… he’ah…

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Run, Sally, run!

      …for office, of course. What did you think I meant? ;-)

    • laughingnome

      They have a complicated relationship with Russians.

    • Nick.Trite

      Shout out to that accent, it really is going to make everything frightening she’s about to say way less terrifying.

      • chortlingdingo

        We lived in GA when I was about 3-4, and my dad likes to tease me that the reason that we left was because I was starting to sound an awful lot like a little Georgia Peach.

        Of course, I ended up spending 4 years in TN and then I’ve been in TX for the past 17 years, so I probably sound pretty Southern anyway

    • Spurning Beer

      Today we are all Georgians.

  • laughingnome

    Sally. Mustang Sally.

    • Mpeg

      I will name a racehorse after Sally. As soon as I can afford one.

  • BadKitty904
    • Suse

      Just read a really good bio of her.

      • Claire

        Really? Which one?

        • Suse

          Joan of Arc: A Life Transfigured by Kathryn Harrison

          • Claire

            Downloaded a sample, thanks!

      • BadKitty904

        The Maid of Atlanta

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Authorized?

    • Beanz&Berryz

      She was a persistent one also too

      • “M”

        LOL. I see what you did there.

    • La forza del resistino

      Stay away from the wood pyre on your way home Sally.

      • “M”

        I keep asking “Does she have good security?” and nobody will answer me.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Our Editrix might be live blogging this all from right near here, what I think is the Portland Wonknic site later today:

    http://www.pdxfamilyadventures.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/im003996.jpg

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    Many faces at Fox just fell when they realized her southern accent will make it harder to make her look like a librul elitist.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Bob Barr hired her too.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Do people from Georgia say “bless your heart” or is that only ‘bama and ‘ssippi?

      • Tovarish Z

        They do.

      • MynameisBlarney

        NC says it too.
        I think it’s a Southern thang.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          It is, but the South is large and I wasn’t sure how far the saying extended.

      • chortlingdingo

        We say that in Texas too.

      • valgalky23

        Kentuckians say it too.

      • Little Lulu Ω

        South Carolinians too.

      • Little Lulu Ω

        And I’ve never heard anyone but ladies say this, of course.

      • Chris

        They do as do North Floridians.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    I usually like a lot of foreplay, but I’m ready for some action now.

    • janecita

      I’m with you, in this case, foreplay would be overrated.

  • CripesAmighty

    Yates: I was a professional prosecutor while you shmucks were losing races for Sewer Inspector.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • elviouslyqueer

    “And will be conducting in the future.” GURL PREACH.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Yates: I’m glad to be here so I can correct the record and put the haters in check.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Adversary

  • mrFawkes

    Trump’s reaction to turning on the teevee and seeing Yates testifying. https://media.giphy.com/media/13YroVUrUrLCec/giphy.gif

    • Claire

      You know he’s shut down the entire White House to watch, too.

  • laughingnome

    She can protect me anytime.

  • bbayliss

    snowball melts?

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    “I’m ready. Fire away.”

    • BadKitty904

      “And may God have mercy on your souls.”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Yates: I take the obligation to STFU about classified information seriously, unlike some assholes.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Diane, sweetie, please just ask a question.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I don’t know if she even can anymore.

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        She can sure flip notebook pages like nobody’s business.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I already have a fair idea what’s involved here, and I have no idea what she just said.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            It started out sounding like a question and then veered unexpectedly into entering notes in the record. Odd.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Bless her, did she ever know how the public hearing thing works?

    • Mpeg

      “Who knew what and when?”
      DRINK

    • Anna Rompage

      “I hope to ask that today”

      Please then, ask the bloody question…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Feinstein: Let’s get Russian involvement on the record before Donald tries to tweet it out of existence.

  • Chadwells

    Yates got a real Holly Hunter vibe going on….and I dig it!

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      I hope she gets to yell “Turn to the right!” to Drumpf.

    • BadKitty904

      “Don’t make me count to three…”

    • aureolaborealis

      “It must be great being the smartest person in the room all the time!”
      “No, it’s horrible.”

    • FlownΩver

      Glad I’m not the only one to see that. If only I’d learn to scroll first, comment later.

  • bbayliss

    Warned 95 days in advance

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Feinstein: How much was Flynn able to fuck up our national security?

  • bbayliss

    Dead Russian moles?

  • CripesAmighty

    No Diane, the French actually exercised some critical thinking skills and went all, “Non, c’est bullshit. Haha.”

  • elviouslyqueer

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Dianne is all “Yo, Trump, you knew about this motherfucker five days in to your admin. You are F-U-C-K-E-D.”

  • Meccalopolis

    Can di fi please stfu and let Whitehouse do the heavy lifting?

    • jowgajen

      That’s not how Senators operate in general.

      • Meccalopolis

        I know I know but she’s so past it

  • anwisok

    SOOOOOOOOO wish I could watch this!

  • Shibusa

    Trump, Watching this in the Oval Office:
    https://media.giphy.com/media/VB5WwlZIt8eRy/giphy.gif

    • Suse

      Needz moar KFC.

      • FlownΩver

        Kremlin-Friendly Clown?

        (I was gonna say “cocksucker,” but apparently anything like that gets you an FCC “investigation.” Colbert bewert.)

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Whitehouse: Let’s get Elijah’s warning in the record as well to make sure it isn’t buried by Donald’s lies!

  • weejee

    Oh my, this is like being back in skool – some research in the morning, then pinochle and the Watergate Hearings in the afternoon.

    / jumps and clicks cloven hoofs

    • msanthropesmr

      Fuck the pinochle!

  • BosGrl “Unmasked”

    OH SHE CAN’T SAY NO!

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    “Classified.” DRINK!

  • timpundit

    Finestein always looks so sharp. To match her wits.

  • bbayliss

    Classified =Yes!

  • Meccalopolis

    Miss Lindsay is such a fucking tool!

  • elviouslyqueer

    Is Lindsey drunk? Again?

    • yyyaz

      Sure looks it. He knows how tough a con job this is going to take to protect the guiltyl

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Lindsey: Do you people know anything?

    Seriously, WTF?

  • politicallie

    My popcorn is gone and Sally hasn’t even been asked a question.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Live: Sally Yates testifies before Senate subcommittee investigating Russia ties to the election

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtIQdneqlq4

  • Meccalopolis

    Yes! Yates I would have to reveal classified info

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Recipe calls for fewer jerks. Sorry.

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        God accidentally flipped open the half of the lid with the “spoon” symbol on it instead of the “sprinkle” half. Oooops.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      “Me Damn! Fuckin’ lid fell off!”

  • ExecutorElassus

    OH SHIT
    Graham: is there evidence of collusion?
    Yates: answering that question would reveal classified information which I am not at liberty to do in an open hearing.

    zomg

    • Manders

      DOOD.

      DOOD.

      I wish I could have wine at work.

    • BadKitty904

      “I.e., yes.”

      • ExecutorElassus

        Well, to be fair, Yates is taking pains to clarify that declining to answer is not equivalent to “yes.” She also, for example, cannot comment on information subject to ongoing investigation (which presumably covers this).
        But yeah: there’s something here for sure, and fuckers are going to jail.

    • ExecutorElassus

      Sally Yates’ Timeline: called WH, met at WH, twice, on Friday. Said she’d check back at DOJ over the weekend to arrange for WH officials to view the intel. Called Monday to say the materials could be viewed. Was fired that day.

      hrm …

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Pee hooker dossier!

    • Wild Cat

      Making fun of my porn collection again, eh?

  • bbayliss

    The same way 19 young muslims we’re identified but not stopped?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Lindsey: Have you seen the pee dossier? Were there pictures?

    • laughingnome

      Clapper didn’t poo poo it.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      “And can we see them? Purely for research, of course.”

  • Shibusa

    Urine trouble, Donnie.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Yates: I can’t tell you if there was collusion because that is classified.

    Whether Donald is a traitor or not is classified.

    Let that sink in…

  • La forza del resistino

    Take your finger out of Lindsey’s eye, Sally. Or not

  • Chadwells

    Even the way Graham says the word “mature”….get the fainting couch ready…

  • bbayliss

    Heads up?

  • janecita

    Should I put my headphones on and watch this thing, or should I do some work instead?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Yes.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Do both. Just half-ass the work.

      • janecita

        It’s Monday, and I’ve no programs today. I’ve been half assing all day long.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Well.. it’s fun to watch an earnest Southern lady smack Lindsey back.

      I’m pretending to read IRS regulations while listening.

      • I’m pretending to do some ACA while i read your comments b/c I’m too high strung to listen live.

    • bbayliss

      What are you more likely to remember on your death bed/

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        THIS.

      • janecita

        Probably nothing. I’m planning to die from very old age.

        • bbayliss

          good idea

    • Meccalopolis

      I give up, I’m not getting shit done

    • laughingnome

      Both – I am.

    • jesterpunk
  • laughingnome

    Sally is going to sensitive places.

    • BadKitty904

      Here’s hoping Donald is going to prison.

      • Suse

        It’ll be a Club Fed, if so. Maybe just an ankle thing at Mar-A-Lago.

        • Roadstergal

          I don’t care how nice the prison is, as long as he’s in it and not President.

        • BadKitty904

          As long as it’s not the Oval Office.

        • Wild Cat

          Arby’s. A weekend in Arby’s. That’s torture enough.

          • AJ Milne

            True fact: Christopher Hitchen volunteered to eat at Arby’s to determine if it should be construed torture…

            … And now he’s dead.

          • FlownΩver

            He lacks the capacity/taste to recognize that as punishment. Make it a shwarma shop or Taco Bueno.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I’ll be in my bunk.

  • Wild Cat

    Can I start shaving Putin Collaborator’s heads now or is that regime still standing?

  • BadKitty904
  • Opalescent Riddles

    Hey, look, your TV reflects lamps and doors and windows just like mine. If you move around a bit, you can probably make it look like Sally has a halo!

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Oh, ffs. Let’s just make this about the unmasking, because it’s important to you.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Lindsay: “And what of Benghazi?!”

    • Bill D. Burger

      “…and her email server. Wuz’ thur’ Rush-uun’ stuff on it? “

  • Carpe Vagenda

    So what you’re saying is that Sally Rice leaked to the Post, is that right, Senator?

    • NellCote71

      Did the Russians help her kill Vince Foster? Perhaps aided pornographic children through a pizza parlor (sorry, I never did understand that event)?

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Miss Lindsay is asking Trump’s question for him.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Lindsey: there is a record of unmaksing somewhere, right?

    Clapper: Yes, but who gives a fuck? Back to the collusion…

  • ariel_gee_398

    I guess Lindsey read Donnie’s twitter feed this morning.

    • yyyaz

      Helped him write it.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Did she take the question and smack him across the face with it?

  • Suttree

    Fuck you miss Lindsey with the heat of a thousand suns!

  • mikejaz2

    Great, so EVERYTHING is classified and the only peepuls who kin look at it are the peepuls that Donn the Conn puts in classified positions. Great. fucking helpful as hell.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      If they really wanted to know any of this, they would hold a closed hearing.

      • BadKitty904

        If they really wanted to know any of this, Trump’s treason trial would be over by now.

      • Claire

        Do they have closed hearings to follow up on the open hearings, or are the open hearings transparency theater?

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          Yes and yes.

      • mikejaz2

        Yup. but they don’t.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Which part of “that’s classified, you bitch” did you miss, Lindsey?

    • Suttree

      He understands. He’s just an asshole!

      • BadKitty904

        Aunt Pitty knows exactly what she’s doing.

        • NellCote71

          And Aunt Pitty knows exactly what he/she is doing.

  • Chadwells

    Finally figured it out….LINDSEY GRAHAM IS DILL SHEPPARD!!!

    https://youtu.be/fSIYFIsCI7Q

  • politicallie

    How did he do?

  • Lamashtar

    The Russians told WaPo?

  • BosGrl “Unmasked”

    Oh damn, how could Pence not have known unless he was living in a skiff (sp?) 24/7?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    How fucking long is Lindsey going to be allowed to hijack the meeting with this unmasking distraction? Get back to the point, please!

    • BadKitty904

      “Distraction” is what it very precisely and intentionally is.

  • janecita

    Please, don’t make Pence look all innocent!!!

    • Suse

      I know! He’s in on all of it.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    BLACKMAIL opportunities! Yay! Now we’re getting somewhere.

  • bbayliss

    TAKE ACTION MOTHERFUCKERS “what should we do?”

    • BadKitty904

      What We the People pay you to do – lead and ACT.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Yates: We didn’t tell them to fire Flynn because we thought they were smart enough to figure that part out for themselves FFS.

  • mrFawkes

    Pence’s “mommy” is pearl clutching his hand right now. No other women or alcohol in attendance.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Oh good lord. NOT the damned “Obama tapppped me” thing again.

  • Lamashtar

    oh shit Yates got all cagey about incidental collection of Trump!

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    Oh FFS MISS LINDSEY.

  • Suttree

    That would be what incidental would mean you fuckface!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Did I just see Lindsey pour himself a drink?

    • BadKitty904

      He’d better.

      • elviouslyqueer

        It was a bottle of Trump’s tears.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Mint juleps for everyone!

    • Claire

      I hope he brought enough for everyone.

    • Suse

      He seems a bit “sniffy” today, if you catch my drift.

    • NellCote71

      The sun is long over the yardarm, so yes.

  • NellCote71

    Why isn’t Sheldon Whitehouse be in the White House? That would be so cool.

    • politicallie

      I JUST said that to my husband. Soulsisters!

  • janecita

    Can we just do a South Korea now, and get rid of our Mofo so called “president?”

  • jesterpunk

    Miss Lindsey, lets spell this out for you again.

    If the police are monitoring the drug dealers phones and you call him 500 times a day and the police get recordings of you discussing illegal shit they still are not monitoring your phones they are monitoring the drug dealers phones. You are still a moron for calling them 500 times a day like a little kid who just got dumped.

    • bbayliss

      Hunh? I don’t get it?

      • jesterpunk

        The “Obama wires tapped me” claim they keep pushing.

    • Notreelyhelping

      Uh…wrong number?

    • AJ Milne

      Infuckingcredible he’s actually doing this. It’s to be going full lying fuckwad, then.

      You have chosen your side of history, senator.

    • puredog

      Especially when you KNOW he’s a high-powered drugn dealer and you STILL call him 500x/day.

  • CogitoErgoBibo
    • Roadstergal

      I finally got a chance to watch the Not The Correspondents’ Dinner. GENIUS.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    For an on-topic tweet, my congress critter nails it:

    https://twitter.com/RepAdamSchiff/status/861581818826563585

    • bbayliss

      All of it katie

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      The part where we blame the nice black guy.

  • Suse

    I love her hair.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      She’s a bit Liz Warren-esque in that way. I like it. Sensible, but you know it’d be sorta sexy with some of the bangs all tosseled around her face.

      • puredog

        I haven’t really studied the topic in depth, but my passing impression is that Yates is sex on wheels. Besides — or perhaps because of — being a high-powered attorney with (ick) a prosecutorial bent, that is.

  • bbayliss

    This is no minor “heads up”

    • Bill D. Burger

      No indeed! They were warned extensively…..and yet Drumpf persisted___in holding on to Flynn until he had to cut him loose.

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    I’m gonna give Lindsay a smidgen of benefit of the doubt; he knows Trump is going to scream (again) about WIRETAPS so he’s heading off that entire bullshit pile at the pass.

    • FlownΩver

      He failed, then. Grassley, and later Lindsey himself, got all over the leak distraction.

      Nice try. Nobody’s buying, although a short refresher course on a certain WaPo “garage freak” source wouldn’t hurt.

  • DrBigHead

    Shit, nothing is going to come out of this except the same uncertainty we had going in. The Rebubs will focus on Clapper’s testimony and the rational people will do the same with Yates. And in the meantime the Trump bastards move on unscathed.

    • Claire

      I have many thoughts on this and I can’t decide which of them I like least.

      (1) R voters are a lost cause. They’re completely divorced from reality at this point.

      (2) R politicians will be divorced from their seats really quickly if they don’t play into their voters’ lunatic conspiracy theories, and R politicians like their seats.

      (3) I guess we’re stuck hoping there are enough rational people left in the country? But clearly not many of those people are in Washington or we wouldn’t be in this mess.

      (4) Maybe the rest of the world will slap sanctions on us until we can prove we’re sane enough to participate in international relations again.

      • DrBigHead

        Add “vast majority” to R voters and politicians, and I agree with all of your points above.

        • Claire

          My R representative was an outspoken no vote on the AHCA, so I suppose I have to allow for the occasional exception.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Maybe it’s time to declassify some shit. This is kind of important.

    • BadKitty904

      “Is the POTUS guilty of treason?” Yes, that’s important.

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    No, Sally, sorry… the Vice President knew.

    • BadKitty904

      As did his owners, the Cock Bros.

    • weejee

      She’s being polite.

    • Meccalopolis

      She may not know that part but he went on to deny it after the Yates briefing

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Whitehouse: Did Flynn lawyer up?

    Yates: No, I don’t think so.

    Whitehouse: We’ve got the bastard!

  • weejee

    Zing on that one!!!

  • Turgid Love Skwerl
  • La forza del resistino

    Kate McKinnon prolly has Sally’s accent down by now.

  • bbayliss

    “Every time the lie was repeated it was more compromised”

  • politicallie

    That White House counsel is an idiot.

    • laughingnome

      Well, for a regime where law doesn’t matter it doesn’t matter.

    • politicallie

      Sorry…errrrr…council???? Oh, potato patato

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Their last job was getting you a great deal on a pre-owned vehicle.

  • bbayliss

    Little miss “fair”

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    “You don’t want your National Security Adviser compromised by the Russians.”

    Understatement of the Decade.

    • OrG

      Oooooor….. do they?

    • BadKitty904

      No, “we” don’t. The GOP, however, is perfectly OK with it.

      • Marsupial99

        Apparently, they consider it a prerequisite for the job.

  • FlownΩver

    Is there any doubt Holly Hunter should be cast as Sally Yates in “All the President’s Slime”?

    • Meccalopolis

      I could watch her read the phonebook

    • bbayliss

      “All the ‘president’s’ poop”

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      She’s the clear choice.

  • Suttree

    OK, I can’t watch anymore. Let me know what happens.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • LadyLaz

      That needs to be the headline in every newspaper ever

  • HogeyeGrex

    “What bizniss of yours is it if one of us lies to another? Butt out, ladyparts!”

    Fuckin’ hell. They can’t even figure out it’s a bad idea to have people in high places in extortable positions.

  • laughingnome

    She looks about as honest as a witness can look.

  • bbayliss

    “Thay was my last day at DOJ”

  • Lamashtar

    holy crap, she invited them to LOOK at the Flynn evidence and got fired the day after.

  • yyyaz

    Shut up, Grass-ass.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Did someone let Grandpa Cornpants out of the home?

  • BadKitty904

    Trump declares war on North Korea in 5…4…3…

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      “Quick! Look over there. Bombs. Tremendous bombs.”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • bbayliss

    But there’s a snowball. see it’s snow! oh it’s water, well it was snow which proves something.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Oh FFS. These two do not leak. Not even if you punch holes in them. They’re just that way.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Granny Grassley begins his typical hem-hem-roid’ rage.

  • BosGrl “Unmasked”

    Chuck Grassley, ladies and gentlemen…

    • Shoto

      He’s Real Smrt.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        He rates half a Gohmert on the Smrtscale.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          So, he’s a quarter wit?

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            Thinking generously… yes.

    • NellCote71

      Doesn’t have quite the ring as Ladies and Gentlemen, The Rolling Stones.

      • FlownΩver

        Evidently somewhere around their combined age, though.

  • Jeremy7

    “Absolutely not.” Suck it, Trump.

  • FlownΩver

    Grassley’s (big shocker) trying to turn it into a leak inquisition. Assume senatorial integrity dead.

    • BadKitty904

      WHAT “senatorial integrity”?

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      No one expects the leakquisition.

      • FlownΩver

        “Our principal weapon is bullshit. Bullshit and distraction. We have two principal weapons: bullshit, distraction and extreme partisanship. Amongst our weapons…”

  • elviouslyqueer

    What the hell kind of questions are those, Grassley?

    • BadKitty904

      “Deliberately misleading.”

    • Mojopo

      He did help to cockblock *45’s fake gossip.

    • FlownΩver

      They just handed me this paper and I read it into the microphone. Senatorial!

  • ariel_gee_398

    Oh goodie. Grassley. Assume brain dead.

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      “Goodie Grassley” – that’s about right.

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    Shut the fuck up, Chuck.

    Let it fucking go.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I hear that that guy John Barron has been leaking like a sieve.

  • Notreelyhelping

    Gosh. Maybe this Presidenten isn’t as easy as he expected.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    What can you tell me about classified matters you no longer have clearance for at the agencies you are no longer affiliated with?

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    Ugh, why is Grassley here again? An ignorant dickhead quota to be met?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Anna Rompage

    Jesus christ… The issue at hand is Flynn’s illegal behavior, not someone’s emails…

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      But but but but

    • AJ Milne

      It’s _always_ about emails. Everything. Ever.

      True fact: if you are caught insider trading, you’re allowed to shout ‘Hillary’s emails!’ if the prosecution ever fails to address the judge properly as ‘Your Honor’. The prosecution is then required to discard three (3) exhibits entered into evidence, at your choosing.

      Also true fact: if you shout ‘Hillary’s emails!’ and touch your NRA card before dumping PCBs onto public lands, it doesn’t count.

      Also also true fact: if you are caught red-handed burning down an orphanage, as long as you shout ‘But Hillary’s emails!’ before the police can count to three, they aren’t allowed to charge you.

  • janecita

    Republicans really don’t want to get to the bottom of this thing!

  • bbayliss

    Unmasking!

    • The green tape is better than the blue for clean unmasking.

      • bbayliss

        roll it…that’s the secret.

    • Tishalicious

      I’m beginning to get The Shining flashbacks..

  • bbayliss

    Wasn’t this just explained?

  • Aaron Wise

    Um uh, um, duh.
    When is supper?

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    To those of you who chose “unmask” as your drinking word, we hope you made that 9-1-1 call by now.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Fortunately, I chose “inpeach!”

    • NellCote71

      My drinking word is “tapp” (hic).

  • merty

    Oh, I’m so glad they’re focusing on the important stuff: leaks to the press.
    [[[[[EYE ROLL]]]]

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Number 1? Trump is intrigued.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Leak this, leak that. Chuck Grassley is auditioning hard for that Depends endorsement contract.

  • Shoto
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Again with this use of unmasking to distract from the collusion? Fuck you, Grassley.

    • Shibusa

      It’s pretty obvious that the Repubs have all been told to ask about unmasking and leaks.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      With a rusty toolshed of votes.

  • Turgid Love Skwerl

    Fox is currently leading with Sanctuary Cities. What hearings?

  • Anna Rompage

    They can’t talk about this in public, it must totally be a cover up!

    • BadKitty904

      The Tin-foil Hat Brigade will just love that.

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    WE DON’T CARE ABOUT FUCKIN’ LEAKS RIGHT NOW, dipshit!

  • BosGrl “Unmasked”

    Where is Al Franken… Grassley’s giving me a migraine.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Lord, somebody put Grassley’s corpse back in the ground. It’s starting to smell.

    • Shoto

      Needz Moar Formaldehyde.

  • weejee

    Grassley seems to have skipped both his Geritol and Metamucil today.

    • La forza del resistino

      Constipated face is his natural look.

  • elviouslyqueer

    OH FFS, BUT HER EMAILS.

    Seriously?

  • BosGrl “Unmasked”

    Guccifer… who had that on their bingo card?

    • Anna Rompage

      I’m a winner!

  • bbayliss

    June the 15th 2016 vs, Oct 28th

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      “In the year of our Lord two thousand and sixteen”

  • So Grassley is running out the clock, stonewalling if you will.

    • BadKitty904

      Imagine that.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        How many time-outs do we get? Team fouls?

  • Anna Rompage

    Emails?

    FFS, come on Chucky… What the fuck does Hillary & the DNC have to do with Flynn perpetrating illegal actions?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I’m beginning to wonder if there isn’t some connection, something tiny and minor, that they want so badly to spill the beans about but haven’t been able to get the press to bite.

      Either that, or they really are simply stupid.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Grassley is that uncle of yours who no one wants at Thanksgiving because he can’t stop criticizing the food. Or all your life choices.

    • bbayliss

      Shitting his pants grinning and saying “AHHHHH, warm”

    • NellCote71

      And the room temperature, and what you are wearing and some arcane complaint about something that happened years ago and that no one else remembers or cares about.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Grassley: The Russians insulted Republicans too! Both sides were the victims!!!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/042f95b248360b3b25270ffb53a30c6cb7c6de536119527ad38af8afad2c0aac.jpg

  • Carpe Vagenda

    It’s interesting that Grassley isn’t uncomfortable testifying about classified material.

  • Aaron Wise

    Do either of you know of iTunes?
    How can I load that on my conputer?

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      OMG totally OT but my dad got an iPod today and is waiting for me to come over and make it work.

      • OrG

        Why not an 8-track player?

        • BosGrl “Unmasked”

          I wish… I’m cringing already.

    • Anna Rompage

      And can you tell me more of this popular group, The Backstreet Boys…

      • Turgid Love Skwerl

        Oh god I loved them, but in my day they were The Bowery Boys, but then “bowery” was found out to be sexual and they made the name change.

        • NellCote71

          And “backstreet” is less sexual?

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      If it’s Chuck Grassley, I think that’d be “cornputer”

  • ExecutorElassus

    Is Grassley always this much of a bootlicking toady?

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Yes

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Does he always sound like he’s experiencing a stroke in real time?

      • Farrrrrrrrrrts

        yes

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        You should check his Twitter feed.
        It’ll give YOU a stroke, too.

    • bbayliss

      This is nuthin’

    • “M”

      He stuck that letter from Mrs. King about Racist Sessions in that drawer to keep it there after Strom Thurmond died so that WaPo couldn’t get it out without an FOIA request.
      You can draw your own conclusions, of course.

  • HogeyeGrex

    “Goosifer.”

  • “M”

    What is Grassley even shouting about? Does he even know?

    • bbayliss

      nope

    • elviouslyqueer

      He thought he saw a cloud.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      There were kids on his lawn.

  • ariel_gee_398

    If ever we need a new voice actor for Mr. Magoo…

  • elviouslyqueer

    What the fuck is Rice-shan interference?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      It fucks up your cell phone reception.

      • TJ Barke

        And gives you radiation poisoning…

    • merty

      I was trying to figure out how to spell that phonetically : Ruh-ISH-ieehn ?? It’s two syllables only Grassy!

    • eggsacklywright

      Maybe Shan knows.

    • Chris

      She wouldn’t show due to a request from only the Republican members of the committee. Republican spin: she must have something to hide, she is after all is living while both black and female…/s

  • FlownΩver

    Yes, Sen. Grassley, your time is up.

    • La forza del resistino

      What is 1982.

  • janecita

    Grassley is alive, and Paul Wellstone is dead, one more proof of God’s nonexistence.

    • PhloxALot

      Amen.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      And in his last race? The Greens tried to primary Wellstone.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Because Purity Ponies are Pure.

        Pure assholes.

    • bbayliss

      Seriously, john lennon/paul Mccartney

    • Chris

      Trump is alive and Robin Williams is dead. More proof that life is neither fair nor kind.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    I just love those very loud dramatic pauses after Grassley’s questions–I can hear the “What the fuck are you actually asking, Man??” quizzical looks loud and clear.

    • BadKitty904

      <– actually loled about that. "I'm sorry, Senator, I don't speak "Pointless Bullshit."

  • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

    Grassley time up thank you Jeebus.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    “My time is up.” — Grassley

    Standing fucking ovation!

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Did he actually ask a question and get an answer?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Yeah. He said “Can you tell me if your classified discussions involved beating your wife?” three or four times.

      • bbayliss

        “did you do bad things?”
        “no”
        “no”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Yates: Trump’s lackey to me–doing something might interfere with an investigation! And why do you give a fuck if White House staffers lie to each other?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Meccalopolis

    My time is up is the best thing chuckie said

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Ever.

  • I’m having a crush on Ms.Yates.

    • bbayliss

      GET IN LINE…I was here first.

      • eggsacklywright

        Nuh-uh!

        • bbayliss

          Why I outa!

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      If I went that direction, Rachel and Yates would be worthy of political fanfic.

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        Go on…!

        • Rags

          scuuze me while I tidy up my bunk in anticipation (and love yr hat!)

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

            I think it makes my nose look big!

    • NellCote71

      Me, too. Move over Cecile Richards.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Today, we are all masturbating to Sally’s testimony.

    • BadKitty904

      My Mom’s from Georgia. These guys have NO idea what they’ve started.

    • Aaron Wise

      I wanna have her babbie

  • timpundit

    I ma behihnd…any reason for me to listen to Grassley?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      For future reference, there is NEVER A REASON TO LISTEN TO CHUCK.

      • BosGrl “Unmasked”

        He is funny to follow on the Twitter machine, tho.

    • NastyBossetti

      If you hate yourself.

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      Save yourself!

    • BadKitty904

      Not once, ever, in his entire political career.

    • AJ Milne

      Cheaper than hiring a Dom?

    • Meccalopolis

      Nyet!

      • timpundit

        FFing then

  • politicallie

    The fuckers are just lying to one another…big fucking deal. Yes, it’s a big fucking deal. Plus, Pence knew it was a lie.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Feinstein: The Brits tried to warn us–why didn’t we get off our asses and do something?

    • Wild Cat

      Reverse Paula Revere Cowgirl?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Feinstein: When did we get off our asses and at least investigate this shit?

  • mfp

    and as per usual, graham and grassley are more concerned with leaks and unmasking than the treasonous undermining of our democracy….these dumb mothafuckas, asking for a drink o water while the house burns down…fuck these people

    • bbayliss

      PRIORITIES!

      • OrG

        PRIORITY!

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • BadKitty904

      G&G are more concerned with covering up the GOP’s treasonous undermining of our democracy than with any actual leaks and unmasking.

    • TJ Barke

      The house is on fire and they want to know who called the fire department.

      • mfp

        thankyou…havent had my morning coffee yet and was dizzily reaching for the right metaphor…Nailed It!!

        • TJ Barke

          Originally by Garry Kasparov.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        …In order to yell at them, because there might be roaming charges!

    • Claire

      Don’t Republicans always froth at the mouth when someone Questions Authoritay and doesn’t Follow the Rules? Because those are the highest civic virtues a human can possess.

  • Anna Rompage

    OMG! I’ve had enough of this feminazi harpy! All Sally is is just a lazy, life long worthless, liberal snowflake bureaucrat, who’s brain has been compromised by Obama ordered ChemTrails that were released over the DOJ…

  • politicallie

    Keep an eye on the 4 points…the 2nd question by the counsel is the biggest concern.

  • Wild Cat

    I’m in Plato’s Cave. I take it the kindly Republicans are acting against their superior Christian natures and fucking talking shit again, right?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Their shadows are.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Superior Christian natures? Facts not in evidence.

      • Wild Cat

        They are a good people. They just fell in with the wrong crowd of traitors.

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    Diane F. sounds as drunk as Peggy Noonan!

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Unpossible! No one is as drunk as Peggy!

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        I aspire to be…

      • laughingnome

        Hold my gin and tonic.

        • ariel_gee_398

          While I chug my whiskey…

    • Shoto

      I was just thinking that it’s time for her to retire.

    • bbayliss

      No one sounds as drunk as Peggy

    • Suse

      She takes meds that make one a bit woozy.

    • politicallie

      It’s called old age. Grassley has it too. So only old women sound drunk?

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        Please don’t associate any sexism to my comment. It was not intended.

        • politicallie

          All I am saying is she is 86 years old…maybe she should retire…but so should a lot of 80 year old people.

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

            Agreed.

  • Aaron Wise

    Meanwhile Teddie von Cruz is beating off under the table, waiting for his turn.

    • politicallie

      You just killed my boner.

      • Jenny

        He killed all boners, past present and future.

    • Chris

      Ewww.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Feinstein: Sally, of all the things to worry about with this shit, which do you think is the most important?

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Very poor production. Lacks narrative punch. I think they should rewrite the script from scratch.

    • bbayliss

      Crappy production values.

  • bbayliss

    Those Ruskies are tricky devils.

    • BadKitty904

      Just ask Moose and Squirrel.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Was DiFi even briefed on this? She’s letting openings go by left and right.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I’m going to hope that they worked out a cleanup team to pick up on that stuff later in the questioning.

    • BadKitty904

      Sadly, yes, she is.

  • Lamashtar

    So we can’t speak to the accuracy of the Guardian article, BUT we totally DID receive intel from our allies about Trump advisors meetings with Russians?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Yates: We thought it was important to warn the VP that he was a lying POS.

  • janecita

    Dianne, simple questions, please! Something like; Are all the members of this administration traitors?

    • BadKitty904

      “When did the current Administration and Congress stop committing treason?”

      • janecita

        Are we all Putin’s bitch now?

    • OrG

      When did you stop committing treason?

  • Shoto

    Bonehead Cornyn.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Oh, Christ, it’s Cornyn’s turn, and I can’t drink because I have yoga later. By then I will need a fucking ohm or ten!

  • Suse

    Is Franken on this committee?

  • bbayliss

    This is nothing new …cornyn

    • BadKitty904

      Good. Then leave.

  • La forza del resistino

    Susan Benghazi Rice? really? who saw that coming?

  • Vincent Ricola

    Oh Sally, I’m pretty sure that Pence knows he is lying to the American people every time he opens his fuckface mouth.

  • Slamtundra

    Cornyn is an unwiped ass. Fuck him.

  • bbayliss

    Why won’t rice appear so we can distort her role?

  • Aaron Wise

    Dilution

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Lamashtar

    At this point I think the American people understand unmasking better than Congress does, mr Cornyn

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Cornyn: This is making the intelligence community look bad!

    • yyyaz

      Not nearly as bad as he’s making himself look.

  • Anna Rompage

    Here’s a fucking relevant question that Diane might like to ask…

    Is it illegal for an ex-military officer to accept payments from a foreign govt, and work as a foreign agent?

    • BadKitty904

      Has she been drugged or what?

      • Anna Rompage

        Sundowners…

      • Suse

        She takes meds.

      • janecita

        I’ve never liked her. I think that she always sounds like that.

  • weejee

    Cornyn is such a weasel.

  • merty

    So is it common knowledge now that Yates talked to WH officials on Feb 27, then 5 days later trumpy twittered about Obama “tapping” his phones? WOuldn’t that make HIM the leaker??

    • Turgid Love Skwerl

      He does like leaks.

    • Notreelyhelping

      Let’s not bring logic into this.

    • artem1s

      that’s certainly the first thing I thought when I read that crap. also,too ‘how stoopid do you have to be to incriminate yourself on twitter?’

      • merty

        Never underestimate his stupidity! But also don’t misunderestimate his evil mastermind-ness either!

  • bbayliss

    Unmasking casts suspicion on the intelligence community..
    it casts suspicion on your intelligence
    geeezus christ google it.

  • Aaron Wise

    Let me dilute this…

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Cornyn: let’s face it, the Russians are in the White House. You wouldn’t want to say anything to keep us from funding you at a risky time like this.

  • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

    I’m so motherfucking tired of hearing about motherfucking unmasking.

    • Claire

      I swear it’s the new Benghazi.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        At least I know now what I’m going to be for Halloween. The Unmasked Operative Ranger-Pimpernel.

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    Concern troll Cornyn is concerned about unmasking. Get to the topic of the treason by Flynn and how TrumpCo aided and abetted said treason.

  • Wild Cat

    I predict by tonight that instead of having 97.87% of an uninformed populace, we will achieve 98.06%. 98.09% if the WSJ rushes out an evening edition.

  • bbayliss

    Let me take you by the hand and explain this one more time. because you don’t get it.

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    Jesus Christ, this is JUST like that first House hearing. Asking about relevant Russia stuff? It’s a Democrat! Leaks and unmasking? Hey, it’s a Republican with Trump’s hand up its ass!

  • bbayliss

    Is it a crime to leak?
    Apparently it depends on who’s getting pissed on.

  • Suse

    Is this going to do any good? I have my doubts. The traitors need to be thrown under the bus by somebody.

    • Wild Cat

      So chuck a few thousand in front of a speeding bus—every GOP whore will dive in the road to grab it.

      Mission Accomplished!

      • Suse

        :-(

  • Aaron Wise

    Need moar Bengazi and fingerpainting

    • bbayliss

      Emails

  • bbayliss

    Sudden concern with privacy/?

  • TJ Barke

    Outlaw the goddamned republican party, they’re clearly all complicit.

  • Chadwells

    Fuck off, Grassley….grab your stupid fucking glasses again to try and make yourself seem important.

    Dude looks like a 105 year old scrotum came to life.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      105 year old scrotum libelzzz!!!Z

  • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

    Willful stonewalling. I know that’s redundant.

  • BadKitty904

    OK, I have to get back to actually doing stuffs. Y’all let me know if they schedule the start times for the treason trials, please.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Cornyn: Why didn’t you defend the President’s unconstitutional Muslim ban? BAD!!!

  • politicallie

    So the Senate hearing is more serious about getting to the bottom of this Russia thing…they are the adults in the room…please!

  • BosGrl “Unmasked”

    Oh now we’re going to litigate the travel ban.

    • bbayliss

      Isn’t that a question that’s been answered?
      Who was right again, oh ya

    • mfp

      asked and answered…by three different fed courts

  • Anna Rompage

    Yes, unmasking classified info is crime, but it’s not nearly as bad as an ex-lieutenant governor officer taking payments from a foreign govt and working as an undisclosed foreign agent, and then being appointed NSA…

  • “M”

    STOP INTERRUPTING ATTORNEY YATES, YOU JERKS

  • Slamtundra

    WTF does Sally Yates refusal to carry out those bullshit EOs have to do with this shit? WTF CORNYN! Fuck you!

    • ariel_gee_398

      Trying to show that Trump had a good reason to ask her to step down, that it had nothing to do with her warning about Flynn (which is probably the real reason).

      • “M”

        He also fired her because he’s a petty bastard and he wanted her to rubber-stamp his unConstitutional Muslim ban.

        That’s not – and shouldn’t be – and wouldn’t be if it weren’t for these treasonous Rethuglicans – a subject for THIS hearing, though.

        But they just had to drag it in, because when you’re completely corrupt, you think that’s your job.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    “Let me explain the Office of Legal Counsel’s limited power, you idjit.”

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Oh, for fuck’s sake. How is Trump’s illegal executive order relevant to hearings about Russia? And if it is, maybe you should let the woman talk.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Yates: It was my fucking job to make sure presidents don’t defy the constitution.

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    And now the smearing of Ms. Yates starts.

    • “M”

      I think it started earlier this morning — 45 started Tweeting reeeeeaaally early

  • Shoto

    Idiot Cornyn is punching way out of his weight class.

  • La forza del resistino

    Cornyn is gonna blame Sally for any turrorist attack for the next 5 years. Stay on topic, tool

  • Slamtundra

    Can’t somebody say “John, shut the fuck up. That’s a bullshit line of questioning and you know it?”

  • Aaron Wise

    Malfeasance.
    Spanked for doing so.

  • In other words Mr. Cornyn you dimwad, you can’t defend the indefensible.

    • “M”

      Right? And he still keeps digging that hole.

      Is he an attorney? Does he have even half a clue?

    • yyyaz

      He just doesn’t get it.

      • “M”

        He doesn’t WANT to get it.

        He’s also stupid, but …

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          And paid in order to stay that way.

  • laughingnome

    Yates should be on the Supreme Court.

  • artem1s

    all arguments have to be base on truth. YA BURNT!

  • bbayliss

    INTENT motherfucker.

  • BosGrl “Unmasked”

    @Yates_Regrets

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Cornyn : I voted for you–how could you defy Donald?

    • Suse

      Oooh – I want to smack him with a coal shovel.

  • Wild Cat

    I’m so media and government savy that I can critique a congressional hearing without watching it because I know it’s all kabuki.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Yates: This was about the fucking constitution, not policy, asshole!

  • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

    FUCK YOU CORNYN.

  • 3FingerPete

    This douche is my senator. Gaaahhh…..

    • “M”

      VOTE HIM OUT

      • 3FingerPete

        I’ve tried.

        • “M”

          There are a few more committees ramping up that may be able to help you that didn’t previously exist. I think HRC is starting a PAC, and she’s not the only one.

  • Aaron Wise

    This guy is a fucking ass

  • Anna Rompage

    Shouldn’t Cornyn be having this conversation over a couple drinks in a bar, and not at an official hearing?

  • OrdinaryJoe

    I would like to do something unlawful to Cornyn…with votes naturally.

  • bbayliss

    “We do everything according to bias, we assume the same of you.”

  • Shoto

    What a dim-bulb, asshole partisan hack Cornyn is.

    • OrG

      Redundant.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Eat all the dicks in the bag, Cornyn.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      Without salt even.

    • Shoto

      With a canned clams chaser.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        You…

        no, I’ll allow it.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Oh, man. Yeah, drag his ass back to your confirmation hearings. Burn.

  • laughingnome

    In your face Cornhead.

    • arglebargle

      “I said it was unlawful, shithead.”

  • zingata, zingata.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Noxious Resistance

      Hmm. OT but also not OT. Good job.

  • artem1s

    haha, they asked her if she would say no to Bamz but can’t believe she’d have the audacity to say no to a GOPer

  • bbayliss

    The 702 hearing What the fuck happened to Russia?

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      (smoke + mirrors) x (red herrings)

      • bbayliss

        equals a slogan from which policy is reverse engineered.

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    Okay this asshole is raising my blood pressure even more than Grassley.

    • bbayliss

      Harmful to health,

  • weejee

    Oh my Sally just kicked Cornyn clear out of the Capitol.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Text book how not to cross examine. She kicked his ass with that answer.

      • Notreelyhelping

        They’re just not very good at this.

        • OrdinaryJoe

          If there were a jury there, 10 of them would be looking at him wondering what cracker jacks box his law degree came out of.

          • eggsacklywright

            Crackerback Jocks.

  • La forza del resistino

    That last exchange is what we call as being bitch slapped, Cornyn

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    OH, the look Sally Yates gave Cornyn when she said “I didn’t say it was lawful–I said it was unlawful.” You can tell she thinks he is a complete moron FFS.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      And she is correct.

      • bbayliss

        And smart and honest

        • Msgr_MΩment

          And her hair is as soft as a unicorn’s mane.
          But I digress.

          • bbayliss

            Please elaborate.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Sorry. Classified.

          • bbayliss

            AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, no fair

        • 3FingerPete

          And dreamy.

          • bbayliss

            Bet she smells good

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      So do we all. So do we all.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      She’s right.

    • OrG

      She’s right.

    • weejee

      Cornyn brought a knife to a gun fight.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        A butter knife.

        • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

          Made of plastic.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        He came unarmed for a battle of wits.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Flush out your fucking ears, Cornyn.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Durbin: Some of us on this committee will actually try to do our fucking jobs.

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    Good job, Senator Durbin.

  • bbayliss

    Independendentttttttttttttt PROSECUTOR!!!!!!!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Durbin FTW!

  • laughingnome

    Can’t wait til she cuts Cruz off at the balls.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      Assumes facts not in evidence (Cruz has balls).

      • laughingnome

        You are correct counselor. I withdraw the comment.

        • goingohm

          Given the size of the prick, inferring balls can be forgiven.

    • Aaron Wise

      Ganglia are not balls

      • mfp

        wowsa…all the upfists for ‘ganglia’

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Can Durbin take DiFi’s time from now on?

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      He is swinging at the fences.

  • Nick.Trite

    I’m glad that we’re getting bogged down in this irrelevant crap. This is definitely what this meeting was convened for.

  • Chris

    Ms. Yates just kicked ass and took names. Senator, I promised you in my confirmation hearing that I would defend the law and the Justice Dept. if requested to do something unlawful, I would say no. I did.

    • bbayliss

      A thing of beauty.

      • Chris

        My favorite so far in the hearing.

    • La forza del resistino

      ”I recall it was you who asked that question Senator’. The burn.

      • Chris

        Hehehehehe

  • bbayliss

    Spicey lied!

    • OrG

      OMG!!!!!

    • laughingnome

      It’s a day.

  • bbayliss

    What’s it to ya?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Durbin: Is it cool for white house staffers to lie to each other?

    Yates: DOJ wanted to throw up when we heard that crap.

  • janecita

    The vice president is also a fucking crook!

    • bbayliss

      liar

  • Lamashtar

    Flynn compromised Pence, thats why!

  • Aaron Wise

    FOX News – tonight’s news will be akin to a centrifuge

    • OrdinaryJoe

      More like whitewash, spin and whitewash again.

    • anon_the_great

      …of poorly prepared fecal samples. The fun is watching the pareioldia

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • bbayliss

      Thanked them for bipartisan support then said fuck you.

  • BosGrl “Unmasked”

    Shorter Yates: Spicey is a moron.

    • OrG

      He prefers to be called sphincter.

      • TJ Barke

        Do not put spice on your sphincter…

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          What about cumin on the side?

          • arglebargle

            a lovin’ spoonful

    • TJ Barke

      Sky blue, also.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Durbin: That fucker could have messed up our security, couldn’t he have?

    Clapper: Um, yes.

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    Self-righteous smarm incoming.

  • 3FingerPete

    She used “opine”. I’ve got a vocabulary boner.

    • yyyaz

      I always hold out until “supine.”

      • Doug Langley

        I am not prone to argue.

  • janecita

    Man, I fucking hate Ted Cruz!

  • Aaron Wise

    Need moar old white guys askin questions
    Here is one now!

  • bbayliss

    LEAKS!!!! must leave room danger to health.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Mr. Clapper, what do you know about my father’s relationship with Lee Harvey Oswald?

  • yyyaz

    Cruz on, sound OFF.

  • VirginiaLady

    CRUZ!!

  • arglebargle

    The honorable Goofy McPunchyface, the floor is yours.

  • BosGrl “Unmasked”

    Every time I hear “DNI” I think “do not intubate”… which actually makes sense here.

    • yyyaz

      To me it is distributable net income.

      • BosGrl “Unmasked”

        Life, in acronyms!

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      There are several candidates for the Do Not Intubate order.

  • weejee

    Freakin’ Cruz playing the Hillary email card ffs

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    UGH IT’S TEDDLES!!

  • laughingnome

    I suddenly want to punch someone.

  • Suse

    Eeww… get out the slug bait, Maude!

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Oh, holy fuck, Cruz is trying to make it about Huma Abedin.

  • TJ Barke

    In a just world all these interference running republican motherfuckers would end up in jail alongside donnie.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Yucky.

  • LarryHoudini

    Ahhh, the dulcet tones of Ted Cruz’s voice . . .
    [jams ice picks into both ears]

    • Doug Langley

      On the upside, it’s guaranteed to remove the most stubborn ear wax.

  • mfp

    oh boy, here we go, greaseball teddy gets his chance to frothily emote..LEAKS!! UNMASKING!!1!1!1!1!!

    • Carole

      Frothily . . . is that like Santorum?

      • OrG

        It is!

      • mfp

        outta cruz’s mouf?…abso-fuckin-lutely

  • Bill D. Burger

    Oh goddamn! Here we go. ‘

    EMAILGHAZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      If only Texans were smart enough to realize this.

      • janecita

        They aren’t.

      • Roadstergal

        My sister lives in a very blue area of Texas. Aside from gerrymandering, their fucking representatives don’t answer phone calls or emails, and refuse to see their constituents when they show up in person.

  • Marceline

    I’m hitting mute on Ted Cruz. His voice is as punchable as his face.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      If Hobbits were real, that’s the voice I imagine.

      • Carole

        Keebler elves.

    • Vincent Ricola

      But what if he asks a question that really gets to the heart of the Russia discussion?

      hahahahahahahaha j/k I’m muting him too

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      The reason throat punches were invented.

    • Roadstergal
  • La forza del resistino

    I wouldn’t trust the GOP senators to look for leaks on the Titanic.

  • Chadwells

    Fuck. Off. Cruz.

  • Shoto

    Ted Cruz: Top-level competitor, “Punchiest Faces in US America” contest.

  • Carole

    Wait . . . Cruz is asking about Huma Abedin’s emails? What a fucking waste of air.

    • weejee

      The ol’ misdirection play.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Senator Ted Cruz, a man so odious he makes Cornyn the most popular Senator from Texas.

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    Let it go Ted!

  • Chris

    Cruz: excuse me while I beat the shit out of Hillary Clinton email issue again because we should at all times remember that everything is always Obama’s or Clinton’s fault. /s

  • OrdinaryJoe

    I’m waiting for one of those assholes to open up about Benghazi.

  • janecita

    Have I mentioned how much I hate Cuban American politicians? They all SUCK!

    • Lamashtar

      :'(

      • janecita

        I’m Cuban, I know what I’m talking about:-)

        • Doug Langley

          Lucille Ball libelz@!!!!

    • cmd resistor

      Cruz isn’t really even a real Cuban American politician. I don’t think he even speaks Spanish! He does, however, SUCK.

      • janecita

        I blame his craziness on his Cuban ancestry.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Ted looks like his suit is trying to throw up Jar Jar Binks.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Cruz: I tried this same distracting question last week–will it work this time?

    Clapper: Bitch, please.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      didn’t work. LOLOLOL

  • Carole

    Backpfeifengesicht to the 10000th power.

  • Aaron Wise

    Ted Cruz is on the cover of Wasting Time Magazine this month

    • laughingnome

      Wasting Space too!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Cruz proving again he has the most punchable face in congress…..and that everything is bigger in Texas, especially the fucking morons.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The Backpfeifen is certainly bigger.

  • VirginiaLady

    Did not know this was about Hillz and her staff’s emails. God bless you Mr. smarmy man!!

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Shorter Cruz: LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Cruz: That didn’t work–let me shift to a different distraction.

    • cmd resistor

      I was trying to think of an appropriate Dr. Seuss book for Cruz. How about Marvin K. Mooney Will You Please Go Now.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Clapper: the last administration prosecuted more people for leaking than any previous one.
    *drop mike*

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Switch to a different topic? Let’s try sticking to the topic at hand.

  • Yellerduck

    OMG…is he talking about HER-EMAILS again? What does that have to do with anything?

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Benghazi

      • Notreelyhelping

        Gesundheit.

    • Edith Prickly

      It means he’s got nothin’ else.

    • VirginiaLady

      Squirrel!!

    • Edith Prickly

      I’ll answer that if you tell us who ordered all those cans of Campbell’s Borscht for the White House kitchen, Ted…

  • ariel_gee_398

    Ted Cruz is pretending Hillary is president, too. Who knew we had so much in common?

  • Aaron Wise

    Obfuscating asshole

  • janecita

    Fuck Ted Cruz!!!!!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I would not wish that on a smallpox virus.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    “Is it true that the Constitution vests the executive authority in the President? I skipped Civics that day.”

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Jesus, that is the most annoying ad I’ve ever seen for Silly Putty!

    Oh, wait, that’s Ted Cruz asking questions.

    • OrG

      Silly Putty Libelz!

  • Chadwells

    Thank you for making the hearing and everyone in that room more fucking stupid, Ted Cruz….you fucking hard on.

  • Aaron Wise

    Need moar McCarthyism

    • Tishalicious

      He’ll provide it

  • artem1s

    STFU Cruz. my god I forgot how much I hate his fucking mug

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Cruz: If an attorney general disagrees with the president, can she fuck him up?

    Yates: I didn’t lead a coup, no.

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    “Glad I got a chance to clear that up, you rotten little piece of shit, bless your heart.”

  • Suse

    The point is it WAS NOT LAWFUL, you fuckface!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Blobfish Cruz has out his grab hook and he’s a goin’ fishin!

  • ariel_gee_398

    OH FUCK OFF TED.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Lyin’ Ted is lying about what Yates did. In more surprising news: dog bites man.

  • BosGrl “Unmasked”

    Every time they try to get her, she shows she is smarter.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Cruz just got crushed !!!

  • Aaron Wise

    Tell this cock to fuck off!

  • Chadwells

    Yates just said….go fuck yourself, you sawed off fucking cock!! BOOM!

  • janecita

    Cruz, go fuck yourself, you boot licking asshole!

  • Shoto

    “Aliens” *Drink!*

  • 3FingerPete

    And this douchenozzle is my other senator. Geld him, Sally.

  • Nick.Trite

    Shout out to Yates for having that quote ready to go.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    My statute trumps yours. Kaboom.

  • BosGrl “Unmasked”

    FUCK OFF TED CRUZ “partisan litigants”.

  • elviouslyqueer

    OH COME THE FUCK ON, TED.

  • bbayliss

    What’s this hearing about?

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      Tastes great vs. less filling.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        candy mint vs. breath mint

      • OrG

        Trick question. It’s neither.

    • NastyBossetti

      The Muslim ban, apparently.

      • bbayliss

        Everything except Flynn

    • Msgr_MΩment

      HOw many Benghazis Anthony Weiner exposed to little girls on the intertubes?

    • Edith Prickly

      the soup that eats like a meal!

    • janecita

      Who the fuck knows! AARP?

    • Doug Langley

      Four and a half hours, I think.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Shorter Sally: STFU lyin Ted, I’ve actually read the constitution you claim to love so much

    • Juan de Fuca

      I’d say he just got his ass kicked though. Damn that was nice.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Pummel that little shit, Sally!

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
  • Chadwells

    Why the FUCK is this jerkoff talking about EO’s?!?!?

  • laughingnome

    Down goes Cruz! Down goes Cruz!

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      According to the FCC, we’re not allowed to say that under the First Amendment any more.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Cruz: The president’s office said the order was legal so why the fuck did you disagree?

    Yates: Because that shit was fucked up, yo.

  • elviouslyqueer

    HAHAHA. My reading TRUMPS yours, assface.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    Aieee! If anyone mentioned Cruz’s name, I missed it, and I’m listening to the audio while working, and finally just said “Who is that annoying little jerkwad weasel speaking?” and turned on the video and there he was! I can’t believe it! Every syllable the man speaks drips with repellence!

  • Tell him Sally, you’ve got to slow that Mustang down!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Fine whoop-ass.

  • VirginiaLady

    Get him girl!

  • Shoto

    “Partisan litigants” this, Punchy-Face Ted.

  • Chadwells

    Belittle the fuck out of him, Mrs. Yates!!!

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Cruz: “You outflanked me so you’re a partisan hack.”

    Asshole.

  • bbayliss

    OK both siders tell me both parties are the same. C’mon, motherfuckersc

  • Aaron Wise

    I wish she had a hammock and a MaiTai for this line of questioning.
    Fuck you…next!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Alien vs Predator.
      Works on several levels.

    • 3FingerPete

      This photo was taken a split second prior to Trump draining Ted’s life force.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Why are we relitigating this? Jesus fuck, Ted.

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      I think he wants it established that Yates is a dirty, no-good, Trump-hating lib so nothing she says is important.

  • The Wanderer

    Fuck Ted Cruz. That is all.

  • janecita

    He surely forgot all of Trump’s insults about his wife!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      quintessential GOP, suck up to the big dog, no matter how he may have treated you

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Cruz: Has this shit ever happened before?

    Yates: No, because we’ve never had a lunatic POTUS like this one before.

  • La forza del resistino

    RBG has some lace collars she will pass on to you Sally, once Donald’s days are done.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Let her finish, you little shit.

  • proudgrampa

    Sally Yates OWNS that little fuckweasel Cruz.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    SOMEBODY PUNCH THAT MAN with thoughts and prayers or whatever

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I think Yates just did- several times

  • @MrsRazor66

    Fuck Ted Cruz. Seriously. This hearing has nothing to do with the Muslim ban you fuckboy

  • bbayliss

    OK both siders tell me both parties are the same. C’mon, motherfuckers, this is the most transparent attempt to…awww fuckit.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    And in the three months since the courts said Yates was right, Little Donnie’s crack team has (to best of my knowledge) done NOTHING to improve vetting. Even after they said a million Real Americans™ will die every second the Muslim ban is delayed.

  • Shoto

    Hey Ted: There’s a reason why everyone in Congress hates your jagoff moron ass.

  • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

    Oh goody, an adult.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Yates: I learned about this crap in the media–the assholes didn’t even give us a heads-up FFS.

  • Carole

    Klobuchar: thank you for your loyal service, and also for not getting up and punching tht motherfucker in the face.

  • CripesAmighty

    I blame Castro. Instead of just kicking the Cubanos out, if he’d just (CLANG/REDACTED) ’em, we wouldn’t have to deal with reptiles like Ted.

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    Who groaned when Teddles made his last crack about partisanship?

    I’m listening without watching and couldn’t see.

    • Manders

      I did. You could hear it across four states.

      • @MrsRazor66

        I thought that was my echo

      • BosGrl “Unmasked”

        Also, Jesus wept.

        • Manders

          I love how he snuck it in so that she couldn’t respond. Had to get the last, weasely word.

          ETA: I mean, Ted would never be so partisan as to support a Republican who called his wife ugly in front of the whole world. He would never be so craven as to ignore such a low, low blow as that.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      All of us, Katie.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Tru dat, yo.

    • laughingnome

      I think it was Whitehouse

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        It was hilarious.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      There’s the Ted who elbowed his wife in the face.

  • Sheepshagger

    This is the bit where your client is utterly destroyed in the trial, and going to jail forever, and they lean over and say ” it’s going good, right?”

    • Carpe Vagenda

      God, that thing about the administration ignoring legal procedure because there are partisans in the woodpile was so petulant.

  • Anna Rompage

    In the year 2046….

    (Ted Cruz) So, as the director of the FBI, would you believe that someone using a private email server to be an illegal action that should be prosecuted?

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      I just pictured him as a head on a robot body.

      • Parakeetist

        I think he is a giant insect.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Yates: People of good will can disagree, but that has nothing to do with Donald’s people.

  • Aaron Wise

    Is this a travel ban hearing?

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      Jinx.

    • Chris

      Depends on who you ask. If you ask any Republican with the exception of Graham, it is about Benghazi, Hillary Clinton’s emails, Muslim Ban, basically anything but the Russian intrusion into 2016 election.

  • merty

    Guess what, fuckers! When people have to make an oath in order to take their job it’s usually to uphold the Constitution! Not to be loyal to the Pres, especially one who doesn’t even understand how the govt works!

    • mfp

      i’m pretty sure the 22-30% that is the idiocracy here has no clue that civil servants swear loyalty to the constitution and not whoever happens to be the top elected official presiding over whatever agency they work

      • merty

        And it’s only going to get worse with the wanna-be king trumpy.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    So I guess this boils down to, “Yates won’t even enforce our totally illegal, unconstitutional EOs, so she hates us. Whaaaaaah! Mean Sally! Bad witness!”

  • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

    Why are we fucking talking about the TRAVEL BAN? Is this the TRAVEL BAN hearing?
    Jesus Fucking Christ!!!

    • Greyhame

      Sort of an ad hominem attack, I suppose.

    • Shoto

      Every hearing is the travel ban hearing. Because Benghazi!!! and Emailz.

  • mfp

    sally yate–asswhupper….ted cruz–ass whuppee…yes, senator, your time is up, TKO without benefit of an 8-count

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    CRUZ: Was any Attorney General, in the history of this and all prior universes, ever as disloyal and traitorous as Obama sycophant Sally Yates?

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Elliott Richardson.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Edwin Stanton? (Yeah, he was Secretary of War when Johnson fired him. But he was AG under Buchanan).

  • La forza del resistino

    Is Cruz done? Can I let the dog and kids out of the bedroom? He scares them.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      Hell he scares his own kids.

      • bbayliss

        I just came back from the porch.

      • janecita

        And his wife.

    • janecita

      Done, but not forgotten.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Klobuchar: Wasn’t this more than a “heads-up” FFS?

  • bbayliss

    “HEADS UP” Suck liquor like it’s your last day on earth.

  • elviouslyqueer

    “I did my job.” So stick that straight up your ass and rotate it 90 degrees, Ted.

  • ExecutorElassus

    Good *LORD* Ted Cruz is a smug mansplaining douchebag. Holy crap.

    • bbayliss

      Much admired by….i got nuthin’

    • Richard Grijalva

      The groans in the gallery when he was wrapping up were telling. He’s such an annoying pissant.

    • jesterpunk

      Isnt Ted Cruz the guy that read “Green Eggs and Ham” a book about someone hating something until they try it during his filibuster show about the ACA without any hint of irony there?

  • Aaron Wise

    oof

    • bbayliss

      UFF DA

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Klobuchar: Couldn’t that asshole have been blackmailed?

    Yates: Yep.

    Klobuchar: I just wanted to make that clear to the assholes who are babbling about unmasking FFS.

  • mfp

    senator amy gets my next woman-for-president vote

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      I bet she’ll be on Rachel tonight.

    • bbayliss

      not so fast.

      • mfp

        wha…jinx?

        • bbayliss

          Warren’s smarter.

          • mfp

            true…and i love me some sen warren…but she’ll be 70 yrs old next time…i think that’s a problem with current demographic trends

          • mfp

            dont get me wrong, she would be a great pres…but the kids, oy, the kids…i’m losing faith

          • bbayliss

            You’re prolly right.

    • Jenny

      I don’t know how I feel about a president amy but I also don’t like the feeling of a president named chad, either.

      • Chris

        I would consider a President Heather or Jennifer but would probably suggest a name change. Probably a name change for a Misty Dawn as well.

    • Chris

      I don’t know, I’m leaning pretty much for Ms. Yates at the moment. For those who don’t think she has enough experience or background think where we are now. Way more experience than that.

  • timpundit

    Ooo. Yates basically told Ted to STFU.

  • Aaron Wise

    The Dems need to press criminal intent asap

  • The Wanderer

    All part of the plan, as far as Cornyn and Cruz are concerned. Lie, bullshit, obfuscate, and bring up totally irrelevant topics.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Klobuchar: The Europeans are doing something about money laundering–why the fuck aren’t we doing a thing?

    • bbayliss

      Money?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Independent commission NOW!

  • Lamashtar

    America is the “Last Haven” of dark money shell corporations. USA! USA!

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Independent commission and prosecutor. Need a special prosecutor!

    • The Wanderer

      Only after the Democrats retake the Congress.

      • bbayliss

        Or we scream our fucking heads off.

  • @MrsRazor66

    Independent commission now bitches!

  • Notreelyhelping

    As Trump maniacally Tweets: Hey! This going great! And then they yank his phone.

  • laughingnome

    Yates is absolutely kicking ass!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Chris

      Why yes she did. Teddie, UGA just kicked your flabby Harvard ass. With lawz.

      • I think now we see the difference between bought Harvard degree andddddd actually working your ass off to achieve your position

  • We are all allergic to shell corporations.

    • Lamashtar

      …clam shell corporations?

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      aka “canned clams”

  • Aaron Wise

    Lets not bicker and argue…?

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      This is supposed to be a happy occasion! Let’s not argue about who unmasked who…

    • CripesAmighty

      About who killed who…

      • BosGrl “Unmasked”

        Ha – I owe you a coke.

  • bbayliss

    Ancillary Issues, motherfuckers!

  • CripesAmighty

    Clapper says fuck all this bullshit, let’s talk about the real issue…

  • 3FingerPete

    Badass Lindsey Graham.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Clapper: The important thing is the Russian interference.

    (Clapper to himself: I can’t believe I have to spell this shit out to them FFS.)

  • Carpe Vagenda

    And what price would that be, Senator Graham? Are you going to have strong words for them between votes for their agenda?

    • Manders

      WTF was that?

    • bbayliss

      Strongly worded message.

      • Stern finger shaken in their general direction

        • bbayliss

          dirty look.

  • @MrsRazor66

    I’m here because I hit my tweet limit for today… I have to root for Yates somewhere!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    unmasking = ancillary issue
    The real issue here is the Russian shit

    — Clapper, loosely translated

  • janecita

    Senator Sasse sounds stupid.

    • Lamashtar

      His haircut is still dumb. :(

      • janecita

        Great minds;-)

    • laughingnome

      rhymes with ass.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Smells are rhymes, to your nose.

    • Manders

      Sounds like he’s worried about his porn collection.

      • laughingnome

        AOT/K

    • janecita

      He also has a stupid haircut.

    • Vincent Ricola

      It’s better than another 25 minutes of OMGUNMASKING!!!!1!

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      He looks like his name should be “Bif” and that he’s most at home hazing pledge recruits.

      • mfp

        thank you sir, may i have another?

    • bbayliss

      Naw he doan

    • 3FingerPete

      His family named was changed at Ellis Island. It used to be Rektum.

      • mfp

        rectum, shit….kill-t ’em!!

      • AJ Milne

        Ah yes. From the venerable, long-respected line of the Rektum-DamnNearKilledEms.

  • Aaron Wise

    Um. Is cybercrime a crime?

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Graham: “Senators Ass”

    Sasse: “Can you guys start calling me Ben?”

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    Wait, is Sasse actually asking useful questions? Where’s the other shoe?

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      Paging Dubya.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Compared to Cruz and that dick Cornyn, Sasse seems brilliantly non-partisan so far.

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        Which is an astonishingly low bar, but I’m glad a Republican is actually focusing on national security instead of covering Trump’s ass.

        Of course, that Sasse is going last is probably on purpose, to give the Repubs a good last impression.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          or he’s smart enough to see the handwriting on the wall and wants to draw a sharp distinction between him and the rest of the GOP bootlickers in the hearing

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I sniff a 2020 primary challenge to Donald, if he manages to last that long.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        definitely doesn’t want to be seen as one of the boy king sycophants

      • Vincent Ricola

        This would be my guess.

      • Doug Langley

        I’m sure Donald will last to 2020. In military clock time.

    • janecita

      Now, let’s blame the press.

    • Pre-existing Ugly Dude

      He didn’t get the memo.

  • Aaron Wise

    Um, are computers have information that has national stuff in it?

    • bbayliss

      Is it complicated/

    • all are computers belong to Poots

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Clapper: They’re going to keep doing this shit until you get off your asses and do something about the hacking FFS.

  • Turgid Love Skwerl

    Have they gotten to Benghazi yet? I know there is something there.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      I hope they have time to cover Obama’s birth certificate!

  • janecita

    Can we get Rachel Maddow to ask all the questions?

    • Vincent Ricola

      Yes please.

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      RIGHT???

    • bbayliss

      A 12 hour hearing?
      That begins with “Russia is a big country, it covers more timezones than any other country on earth”

  • BadWolfGirl

    BUT HER EMAILZ

  • Aaron Wise

    Is Russian investment have money for computers wait…um…what?

  • CogitoErgoBibo
  • Aaron Wise

    What The FUCK!

  • Manders

    Sasse: “Is Assange journalist?”
    Clapper: HA HA HA

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Lovely.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Am I missing something, or is Sasse actually making a valuable distinction?

    • Nick.Trite

      I am on his same page with this tbh. But also why are we talking about it?

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      Stupid hair aside, I’ve heard him say really stupid things but occasionally he sounds like a grownup.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      “Oops, it says here on my POG Omem, to COVER UP these things. Damn my slizdexia!”

      –Ben’s Asse

  • @MrsRazor66

    But when we have an administration like Trump, we HAVE TO have journalists willing to tell the truth. That’s not what Assange does.

  • Manders

    Hey SASSE. Assange is not an American, let alone an American journalist! C’mon man!

    • jesterpunk

      Assange is an accused rapist hiding in an embassy basement to avoid being charged as a rapist.

      • janecita

        But he isn’t an American journalist.

        • jesterpunk

          Well yeah there is that too. He isnt an American or a journalist or anything more then an attention whore who was a useful idiot for the right during the last election.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            except calling him an idiot lets him off the hook- he did that shit on purpose knowing what the damage would be- he’s a useful asshole

          • jesterpunk

            Useful idiot has a Russian usage for it. Which is one reason I use that for Assange. That and the nihilist part of the definition.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Useful_idiot

            In the Russian language, the equivalent term “useful fools” (Russian: полезные дураки, tr. polezniye duraki) was already in use in 1941. It was mockingly used against Russian “nihilists” of 1860s who, for Polish agents, were said to be no more than “useful fools and silly enthusiasts”.[1] The phrase is often attributed to Lenin in the West, and by some Russian writers including Vladimir Bukovsky in 1984.[2] However, in a 1987 article, American journalist William Safire noted that a Library of Congress librarian had not been able to find the phrase in Lenin’s works.[3] The book They Never Said It also suggests the attribution is false.[4]

          • janecita

            Yup, he had an axe to grind, and took his chance to do it.

  • Lamashtar

    Far left is gonna make some fun of Clapper’s gaffe “company, uh I mean country” :P

  • @MrsRazor66

    Now it’s time for an Adult to talk…

  • laughingnome

    The resistance has a gift in Sally Yates.

    • Isn’t she a conservative, also, too? Thought I read that she was a pretty centric R but I could be wrong

      • laughingnome

        Hey, don’t care about the label.

        • Me either, but if so, it makes it that much brighter. Cause it means that some CAN be reached

          • laughingnome

            True

      • bbayliss

        She’s honest, a rare quality,

      • Lamashtar

        Google says she’s a Dem

        • I am good with that also, thank you Lamashtar!
          Cannot the google here for /reasons

    • bbayliss

      America. fify

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      Got this in the mail today… can’t wait to put it on my car. In a sea of blue, my town voted for Drumpf. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7e0cf3baa49a02f7a579fee803616a1e1e8a19a1975f2bc933ac835070d11e9d.jpg

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        #Patriot

  • La forza del resistino

    Dude made it though w/o mentioning unmasking, leaks or travel bans. Pull his flag lapel pin now.

    • Lamashtar

      RINO!

  • bbayliss

    “This is an existential threat, let hurry through it as quickly as possible.”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • TJ Barke

      Pretty much.

    • La forza del resistino

      The GOP message is sounding like a prison gang. Snitches get stitches.

    • Greyhame

      Committing to the coverup attempt over an act of treason sure will be a good look for these guys in the next election.
      (Better get rid of these pesky elections, I guess.)

      • Jamesacolin

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !sp308c:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. Follow this link for more information
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  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • 3FingerPete

      To be fair, the Republican member of the committee have the mental focus of puppies.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        … the Republican member of the committee have the mental focus of sleeping puppies.

        IFYPFY

  • @MrsRazor66

    Clapper doesn’t know how the Internet works.. and no one told him.

  • @MrsRazor66

    If Pence was head of the transition team, how did he NOT know about Flynn?

  • janecita

    Who is this man speaking now?

    Edit. Nevermind, I just saw his name.

    • politicallie

      Senator Coons

    • bbayliss

      Mr. tater head.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • timpundit

    Sasse is a republican? He seems so…so…reasonable.

    • Vincent Ricola

      He was a huge never-trumper during the election and has his eyes on the big prize. He isn’t about to blow his chances by going full Cruz.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      don’t worry, after this the Turtle will put him in the hole until he gets his mind right

    • marxalot

      Only by comparison.

  • BMW

    I must say, liveblogging the stupid is what Wonkette does best.

  • Corky Shimazu

    Senator Ben Sasse: American Patriot? WHAAAAAAT?
    Whoa if True®

  • Msgr_MΩment

    4:28 Rebecca in the Sekrit Chatcave: “Ben Sasse acquitted himself well, spoke in proper, grammatical clauses, and didn’t totally avoid the topic. One to fear 2020 I think.”

    Cuck RINO!

  • marxalot

    Yates did her job: uphold the Constitution.

  • arglebargle

    “I can neither confirm nor deny that Flynn is a treasonous piece of shit, and that Pence knew everything and participated in a cover up, and Trump was the ringleader of the entire operation.”

  • Msgr_MΩment

    “I’m trying to be very careful about revealing Classified material, unlike a common Flynn.” — Sally

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • CripesAmighty

    Back to Moooslims ban…
    These putzes would show up at the Kentucky Derby with a pack of greyhounds.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      FOR FUCK’S SAKE.

      TRAITORS, EVERY FUCKING ONE OF THEM.

  • La forza del resistino

    Sen John Kennedy (R-LA), I knew John Kennedy and you are no John Kennedy

    • SeeTrain65

      That’ll teach me to wait six hours before commenting.

  • bbayliss

    “I jes wanna unnerstan”

  • laughingnome

    When was Aunt Bea elected to the Senate?

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Senator Kennedy of the High Anus Port Kennedys.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      LOL

    • From Cape Cob.

    • Lamashtar

      The Republicans wanted their own Kennedys..

  • @MrsRazor66

    Oh for fucks sake!

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Naw, Miz Yayts. Doan answer the question, I wanna stemwahnd foah a wahl.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    “Naw man. I’m not going to lie about whether that EO was legal or constitutional. Hypothetically.”

  • BosGrl “Unmasked”

    You jerks keep trying to make her blow herself up. Good luck with that.

  • Aaron Wise

    Miss Yates…do you eat babies?

    • Turgid Love Skwerl

      Nevertheless she persisted.

  • Lamashtar

    CLAMS!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Yates: We couldn’t defend this crap!

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Not without lying. Hee hee. I’m glad she said that. Twice.

  • BosGrl “Unmasked”

    CLAM LIBELZ!

  • arglebargle

    a canned clam?

    • Rasilom

      Monster!

  • @MrsRazor66

    Let me stop ypu because in don’t wanna hear logic and truth

  • bbayliss

    Mizz yates yer prezz wanted sumptin and you all wount do it.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Fuck, this guy Kennedy is an asshole

  • Suse

    This guy is really a dope.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    A CANNED clam.

    Boy, he was pissed that ‘waxed too metaphysical’ thing didn’t go over the first time.

  • Aaron Wise

    Missy Yates…are you a Satanist?

  • bbayliss

    “AHHHHH preori”

  • BosGrl “Unmasked”

    WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK???

  • @MrsRazor66

    Dude, this guy deserves to be punched.

    • arglebargle

      Dick punch. repeatedly.

  • 3FingerPete

    What has this issue have to do with the Russian probe?

  • Greyhame

    What is this southern accent in a suit getting on about?

  • Nick.Trite

    “At what point does a statute become unconditional?” When it’s written unconstitutionally?

  • Lamashtar

    “Who appointed you..” THE SENATE DID

  • Marceline

    What bayou did they drag this country ass mothafucker Kennedy from?

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Sir. ANY LAWYER CAN JUDGE OBVIOUS CONSTITUTIONALITY. Jerk.

  • CripesAmighty

    Who is Senator Cornpone, here?

    • Suse

      John Kennedy

      • CripesAmighty

        His momma had a sick sense of humour.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Kennedy: When does something become unconstitutional? No disrepect, but who the fuck are you?

    Yates: We did our fucking jobs, asshole.

  • Aaron Wise

    The Constitution

  • Chadwells

    Clams…..

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Can it!

      • Chadwells

        HAHAHA!!!

        • mfp

          you monsters

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    FUCKennedy this guy.

  • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

    Way to stonewall, Repubs. Well done assholes.

  • bbayliss

    When you learn to read.

  • Aaron Wise

    GOP

  • janecita

    What does this shit has to do with Russia???

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    Oh my God dude you’re IN CONGRESS. Why do you not know the definition of unconstitutional???

  • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

    “I don’t mean any disrespect.”

    Yes you do, asshole.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      Sure he does, the fuckface. FUCK OFF DIPSHIT

    • Rags

      the most common phrase in the English language to precede a bout of mansplaining….

  • @MrsRazor66

    Considering she was the acting AG, she had the right and was her JOB to decide if laws are constitutional, you dickweed

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      No, because female.

  • 3FingerPete

    Kennedy: “Ms. Yates, were you having lady problems at the time you refused to defend President Trump’s Muslim ban?”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Dammit, I can only stay for about twenty more minutes, and this asshole Kennedy is wasting time here. STFU and let people ask real questions, please!

  • MarsNeedsWomen

    It becomes unconstitutional when it violates the constitution dummy.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Too complicated for THIS Senator Kennedy.

  • Vincent Ricola

    “Why do you think you can make decisions, little lady?” – this pale creep on my teevee right now

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Didya ask yer husband iffen that was OK with him?

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    Who is this hayseed?

    • valgalky23

      Deep South for sure.

      • LA

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Looooseyana.

        • valgalky23

          John Neely Kennedy R-Louisiana

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      Mr. Haney from Green Acres.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      Foghorn Leghorn’s illegitimate brother.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The Kennedy brother they should have kept in a jar.

    • SeeTrain65

      Sen. Hayseed to you.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    “Did the Russians influence the outcome of the election?”
    Don’t you follow the news, Senator?

  • Aaron Wise

    This clown needs to do his homework

    • The Wanderer

      About as useful as tits on a boar hog.

  • Suse

    Who appointed you to the Supreme Court, Miz Yates? Trying to make her look uppity.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      OMG, seriously. She was the ACTING Attorney General and they behave as though she should have just sat quietly filing her nails.

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    There’s a reason she has “Hon.” in front of her name tag and Kennedy doesn’t.

    • marxalot

      And it’s not because she’s a Baltimore waitress!

    • BosGrl “Unmasked”

      He thinks it means short for “honey”.

      • SeeTrain65

        Don’t remember seeing her at Hooters.

  • Aaron Wise

    68?

  • bbayliss

    The AGB didn’t exist then asshole.

  • politicallie

    So in this rosy cheek asshole’s opinion…the government can do whatever it wants up and until the Supreme Court says no.

  • laughingnome

    OMG – Humphrey??

    • CripesAmighty

      Pshaw. He’s cutting edge. He moved on to Reagan.

  • Notreelyhelping

    Somebody tell him that hokum he ladles out in Baton Rouge won’t fly here.

  • Chadwells

    They put blush on this old fucker just to make him look like he’s alive…the “happy as a clam” asshole.

  • Sheepshagger

    Hubert Humphrey is going to jail! Flash!

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Nonsense. He’s a great man who has been doing interesting things, and I am sure we are going to see more good things out of him in the future.

      -DJT

  • Lamashtar

    LOLOLOL unclasssifed is not leaking.

  • bbayliss

    HAHAHAHAHAHAQHAHAHAHA

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Hubert Humphrey was a Russian tool!
    SQUIRREL!!

    • OrG

      I thought that was Eisenhower.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Only that bit about the military-industrial complex.
        Oh, and integration.
        Maybe you’re right.

        • Doug Langley

          And his pick for running mate . . .

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    D’OH

    sorry Senator, you’re a blithering idiot

  • @MrsRazor66

    Lmao.

  • arglebargle

    Is that Al Franken lurking in the wings? If so, I’d like to yield the remainder of my time to the honorable gentleman from SNL.

  • MarsNeedsWomen

    Also I didn’t know Supreme Court justices were the only ones who could speak about the constitutionality of laws in public. Someone better tell the ACLU about this.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Clapper: Unclassified is not leaking, idiot!

  • La forza del resistino

    Let’s mind read a Trump voter’s decisions re Russia.
    This is where Law&Order’s Jack McCoy objects ‘relevance’

  • Hubert Fucking Humphrey?

    Let’s get on with the program here, gramps.

  • 3FingerPete

    In 1972 didn’t the United States materially support the military overthrow of Venzuala’s elected president?

    • whitroth

      I think Chile in ’73, where Tricky Dick and Kissinger supported the evil dictator-to-be Pinochet.

      • 3FingerPete

        Yep, you are exactly correct. I got the year and country wrong. I was in the ball park, though

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Latin America, anytime last century, and you’re bound to be close to one such “intervention”.

          • 3FingerPete

            Iran in the ’50s, too.

    • janecita

      Original 9/11. 1973 Chile.

    • chortlingdingo

      Similar thing in Guatemala too. In the ’50s, I think?

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    “Dumbass. Unclassified info can’t be leaked. Also, sky blue. Water, wet.”

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Is he gonna go for the Russia-hates-the-hyper-patriotic-Ratfucklicans??

    • yyyaz

      He did.

  • Greyhame

    Leak-gaziiiiiiii!

  • Sheepshagger

    This guy makes jokes like a constipated gibbon.

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    “unclassified is not leaking”…..BURN!!!!!

  • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

    “That’s somewhat of a non-sequitur.”

    — Diagnosis of GOP

    • bbayliss

      Feature not bug.

  • timpundit

    How did Green Acres’ Mr Haney get in the Senate?

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Slapped all the right backs in Baton Rouge.

    • proudgrampa

      People dumber than him voted for him?

    • Suse

      Arnold Ziffel 2020!

    • SeeTrain65

      Because Louisianans wouldn’t recognize a decent candidate (in this case, Foster Campbell) if they were naked and on fire?

  • bbayliss

    Sessions burn

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Leahy: I remember when that asshole Sessions demanded you to stand up if the president did some fucked up shit, yo.

  • janecita

    Senator Kennedy makes me want to insult old people!

    • Leahy will fix that!

      • janecita

        I hope so, because I love old people!

  • Vincent Ricola

    How much time does this goofy bastard get? It’s been a goddamn lifetime. Next.

  • Lamashtar

    Leahy: IOIARDI

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    Avuncular Pat Leahy comes to the plate!

    • arglebargle

      Kinda sounds like drunk uncular.

  • Panika MCD

    I feel like I need to call my senators and leave memos suggesting that if Russia interfered in the general election because the HATED HRC, then there’s no reason to not think that they also too interfered in the primary election because there were several GOP candidates who are still senators and several candidates enthusiastically supported by people who are senators and none of those candidates were who ended up in the Oval Office, but they were all hated by Russia.

    • Lamashtar

      Clint Watts specifically stated Rubio was a Russian target. If Trump was the goal, every Republican in the primary was probably hit.

      • Panika MCD

        I’d be guessing other targets included:

        Christie (if he was on Russia’s side, there’d already be a scandal discovered during Bridge-gate)
        Cruz (if you can’t trust that defector Rubio, you can’t trust Cruz either)
        Kasich (because vanilla with a side of TRAP laws and a garnish of guns in bars isn’t quite a flavor of chaos)
        Jeb! (because: obviously.)
        Lindsay Graham (because: DUH! and, really, Putin can’t get down with mint juleps.)
        Santorum (gross and also too likes to bomb things and torture–remember the time he was all, “what does John McCain know about enhanced interrogation techniques anyway?! HMMMNNNNN?!” and torture is kinda Russia’s THANG)
        George Pataki (forgot he was running, but Russia probably hates him)

  • Pre-existing Ugly Dude

    Kennedy is not the sharpest clam in the can.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      He doesn’t even rise to the level of monster.

    • valgalky23

      Crawfish in the crud.

    • The Wanderer

      Useless as an asshole with taste buds.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Fuck Jeff Sessions.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Heh. “First or second year law student could see that EO was unconstitutional.”

  • bbayliss

    First year law student.
    EAT IT REPUBS

    • laughingnome

      Maybe not at Liberty U. Law

  • Sheepshagger

    Franken with the No. 2 Pencil of Justice.

    • arglebargle

      Freshly sharpened. Good

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Sharper than Grassley et al.

  • mfp

    the right rev leahy lays the SMACKDOWN on the GOP ‘senators’—-‘she did what she said she was gonna do when you badgered her at her hearing if she would do it!’…..assholes

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Leahy: Donald said you betrayed the DOJ.

    Yates: Bitch, please.

  • Aaron Wise

    Enough with this line of questioning

  • Juan de Fuca
    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      A monkey with a football for a dick?

      • bbayliss

        Yers…better.

    • bbayliss

      A monkey flying a rocket to the moon?

      • Meccalopolis

        Fucking a football

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      But enough of Tom Brady.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        DEFLATED!

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    “Ben Sasse acquitted himself well, spoke in proper, grammatical clauses, and didn’t totally avoid the topic. One to fear 2020 I think.”

    Wait, he spoke grammatically? The only worry is that he might run on the Dem ticket.

  • Notreelyhelping

    Yes, an ah remembah as a page with Huey Long–and a good ole boy he was–spearing the goldfish in the capitol pond. Little egg cayenne and breadin’ and BAM into the fryin’ pan. Whut WAS I sayin’?

    • Sheepshagger

      Man sounds like hes had all the cigars and whiskey in the world.

    • laughingnome

      An ah remember standin’ by the water hole while this ole fish came ah jumpin over mah head….

  • Aaron Wise

    Yates is on trial?

    • weejee

      Obviously. Also Huma and Hillz.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Get the dunking chair!

    • Edith Prickly

      Smart ladies are not allowed in Republicanland.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Depends. Does she float?

  • Chris

    Clapper just kicked in the whoohaw Senator John Kennedy, R. LA, racist, sexist asshole . Having to explain that it isn’t leaking if the info isn’t classified seemed to make him a tad upset.

    • “M”

      LOL. Tough.

  • Lamashtar

    Yeowch, burn on Sessions by Leahy..

    • Greyhame

      It’s a slow burn, but deep. Not really gonna feel just how bad until sometime tomorrow.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        like eating all those Jalapeño poppers when you’re drunk- think it burns now? Wait until tomorrow when you’re hungover sitting on the can

  • bbayliss

    Liars!

  • Chadwells

    Leahy….do they have tubes running under the desk, connected to this dust pile, keeping him alive?!?!

    • laughingnome

      Laundry lint

      • Chris

        lint libelz! On the other hand, much rather have him and Diane on life support than Cruz.

  • Sheepshagger

    Lemme ask you this…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

    • arglebargle

      *tap on shoulder* wake up sir.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Pat, honey, I love you, and it’s a good zinger about Sessions, honest , but we don’t really need to hear it three times.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      Can we get back to Russia, please? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

      • AJ Milne

        Wait… There was something about Russia?

    • mfp

      no, no…i think we do…maybe 300 more times

  • Me not sure

    If Ben Sasser can refrain from picking his nose and eating it on camera he will be formidable indeed.

    • weejee

      The nation’s kindergarten nose-miners weep.

      • Me not sure

        My nose bleeds for them.

  • Aaron Wise

    Give him a break…he eats rich food.
    really rich

  • bbayliss

    Hidden financial information HERE WE GO!

    • Lamashtar

      SHOW US YOUR TAX RETURNS!

  • La forza del resistino

    Al Franken in the Dem on deck circle guess I have 10 mins to get to the taco truck. Don’t want to miss him needling his GOP colleagues whose name ends in Cruz.

  • Chadwells

    Leahy burned Sessions…he can’t be all that bad….but can someone hand this dude a Red Bull?

    • valgalky23

      Like me, he sounds like he has a nasty cold. I got it in DC too!

      • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

        He always sounds like that though.

      • Chadwells

        There is certainly a nasty one going around! I’m dodging it in my office as we speak!

        • janecita

          Hide under the table!

        • valgalky23

          lingering fucker..I’m on day 9 but almost done.

          • Chadwells

            Yeah, that’s the word on the street….that it’s got a 2 week cycle…so stay strong!

          • valgalky23

            Thanks! Beer has electrolytes!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        He’s allergic to aging. I get that too.

    • jesterpunk

      Red Bull gives Nazi’s wings. Might want to give him some coffee instead.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Pat has a distinguished history in the Senate. Well, pretty good. I wonder whether he’s had a stroke or something.

      • Chadwells

        I just saw old white guy trying to talk and didn’t realize it was Pat!!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        he appeared to be hoarse, maybe he’s been sick

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    Pat missed the opportunity to say “400 pound guy on a bed.”

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    Muuuuchhh assss IIIIIIII liiiiiikkkkeeeee Leeeeaaahhhhyyy, heeeee reeeeeallllyyy neeeeedddssss aaa moooooorrrreeee yooouuuthhhffuuuulll quuueessstioooonnn-aaaasssskinnngggg ssuuuuuuurrrrrooooooooggggaaaaaattttteeeee.

    • SeeTrain65

      Ever heard Jeff Brantley do color commentary on Cincinnati Reds games?

      Paint dries faster than he talks.

  • bbayliss

    AL!

  • @MrsRazor66

    Franken time!

  • boyblue122

    Yates 2020? Too soon?

    • weejee

      Georgia Senate in 2018 first.

  • janecita

    Yay, Al Franken!

  • Aaron Wise

    Do you like Vermont?
    Have you had our cheese on a cracker?

  • arglebargle

    HERE WE GO…. give em hell Al.

  • Suse

    Al is in the house!!!

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Aaaaaaaaaaal.

  • Meccalopolis

    Franken time!

  • weejee

    Allllllllllllllll

  • Greyhame

    Holy Shit, Clapper actually decided to dance on that “this helps the Russians” angle, with the 400lb guy on a bed in Jersey?

    • Lamashtar

      He knew it would be a quote

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Why does everyone keep bringing up Chris Christie?

  • argent reivich

    the best week of the year so far

    • bbayliss

      Waiting and waiting…long way to go.

  • Marceline

    Now it’s time to hear from the senator from the great state of comedy: Al Franken.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Al Franken has always been at war with Absurdistan.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Franken: We all know Russia hacked FFS.

  • bbayliss

    So many I can not even count!

  • Suse

    That’s a lot, sez Al.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      a LOT.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Anyone else here been on RT after they retired? Bueller?

  • bbayliss

    oh oh 12968…big trubbles.

  • Notreelyhelping

    I wonder if, in prepping for this, he flashed back to him and Tom Davis writing the Nixon’s Final Days sketch while on acid?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The President’s Movements?
      Classic.

      • Notreelyhelping

        Why? Why do they hate me?

  • OrG

    Flynn fails on all counts.

  • Aaron Wise

    Ted Cruz is drawing pee-pees and boobies as Al speaks.

    • arglebargle

      very poorly drawn

      • Doug Langley

        Now be nice. I’m sure he’s coloring inside the lines.

      • janecita

        Anatomically incorrect

  • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

    When Franken says “trustworthiness” he glances over at Ted Cruz.

  • bbayliss

    Mcgahn, you ignorant slut.

  • timpundit

    For whoever said they thought Feinstien sounded drunk get a listen at Leahy for god’s sake.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      Franken also too.
      They’re all drunk!!

  • MarsNeedsWomen

    Why is RT allowed to broadcast in U.S. if they are known as a propaganda front of a hostile foreign government?. I mean I’m all for free speech but its not like we get live feeds from North Korean and Iranian state TV.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Ugh, they keep coming up in search results when I look things up about Syria, too.

    • britishvoiceman

      No, but we do have Fox News.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    who do I need to fire?

    ALL OF THEM, KATIE!

  • Al Franken role playing a knucklehead WH counsel.

    excellent.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      Sort of Columbo-ish, actually.

      • totally.

      • cmd resistor

        What kind of car does he drive?

  • artem1s

    clearly the whole BS on the EO is to provide cover for Twittler firing the sitting AG. Wonder what excuse they will use for firing Preet. Couldn’t possibly be about all that kompromat.

  • Chadwells

    For the record: I worked for RT as a 3rd party contractor!!! Just as they were trying to enter the US TV market about 3-4 years ago. Didn’t know much about them at the time….but I’ve been talking shit about them ever since.

    • bbayliss

      commie!!!!

      • Chadwells

        I’m so ashamed!!! LOL!

    • OrG

      NOW you tell us.

      • Chadwells

        I’ve mentioned it a few times….but no one ever seemed to ask about it which surprised me!

        • Shit, and I thought you were talking about Round Table Pizza.

          This is why I’m not in the spy business.

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            I thought it was short for Reuters. Who cares about REAL journalists?

          • Chadwells

            HAHA!!!

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          I talk about the porn I starred in all the time, and no one asks me, either.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Please write a tell-all.

      • Chadwells

        It would be pretty short. They are as evil as everyone thinks. Margarita Simonyan is as crafty as she is dangerous.

        Fin.

  • bbayliss

    “Let’s quit foolin around.”

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    The guy in the upper right seems both fascinated and strangely glum.

    • Vincent Ricola

      I’m staring at him staring. He never blinks.

      • bbayliss

        His finger smells funny

      • Notreelyhelping

        Alien!

  • PUZZLE TIME ERE’BODY!

  • Chadwells

    Yates got a sexy laugh….

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      I find her rather attractive.

      • Chadwells

        Me too…she is a fine creature.

    • Aaron Wise

      Smart powerful women are alluring!
      She’s a beauty.

      • Chadwells

        Indeed! She certainly is.

  • mfp

    sen al at the plate…here’s the pitch…SWING ANNA LONG ONE…back at the track, at the WALLL….THAT BABY’s OUTTA HERE, GRAND SLAM senator Al fuckin Franken….

    • valgalky23

      He’s good at puzzles.

      • mfp

        so am i…but these dots are easier to connect than in my old highlights magazine days

        • AJ Milne

          Seriously, it’s a bit like one of those reeeealllly easy word searches they print on the ‘keep the kids busy’ placemats at roadside restaurants.

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    YES! Special Prosecutor Preet Bharara!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I’d vote for that

    • bbayliss

      THIS^

  • bbayliss

    INDEPENDENT COMMITTEE!!!!!!
    The real purpose of this exercise… Prepare for a summer of televised hearings
    trump out in Oct…you heard it here first

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Another bitchen summer of congressional hearings. *wipes a tear off cheek*

    • Oily Messiah

      Does he resign to save face or go down in a flaming tweetstorm mif impeachment in this scenario

      • jesterpunk

        Flaming tweetstorm, his ego wont let him resign.

        • Edith Prickly

          Yup, they will need an earthmover to push Trump’s lying ass out of the White House.

          • jesterpunk

            Just wait until he goes to Mar-a-Lago then build a dome around it and make Trump pay for it. He can stay in there for the rest of his life with the rest of the traitors in his administration.

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

            “out of the White House Mar-a-Lago.

            FIFY

      • bbayliss

        Heart attack straining on the golden bowl.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Well, let’s see…choking on a pretzel has been done, getting shot has been done to death…crashing your bike has been done… what else…what else?

          • Al Swearengen

            Taking a header down the Air Force One steps when your adult diaper catches on the door latch.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Perfect. Yes. Then everyone can blame Kellyanne.

          • bbayliss

            Falling downstairs? drinking with both hands?

        • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

          The more ignominious details about the exact circumstances, the better. Pics of the fat fuck on the floor with his pants around his ankles would be nice.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Slumped over on the golden throne with his smartphone still in his hand and a trail of drool running down his chest…

      • Apple Scruff

        I think he resigns but figures out how to blame it on the Democrats. He misses his old life and is looking for a way out of DC, but his ego won’t let him “resign in disgrace”.

      • bbayliss

        Perp walk

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    Starey gloomy guy is still there!

  • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

    Wait… there are *laws* against this? And Blumenthal only tells us about this NOW??

    • jesterpunk

      He didnt have emails and he isnt a women or we would have heard about it sooner from Comey.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Question just occurred to me. Can the FBI get into your tax return files without a warrant? With a warrant I’m sure. But the question is have they seen the returns and do they know things about FauxTUS 45*’s finances that we don’t? Do they know he has his head so far up Putin’s ass he can taste Putin’s food?

    • Lamashtar

      Don’t think so. Not sure they need to inform the Donald tho, as the President’s tax returns are kept inside a special safe at the IRS. They might just give the warrant to the IRS.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    The Republican Ratfuckers took this opportunity to talk* about Emails, Huma Abedin, Unmasking Crimes and Wiretapppps.

    In contrast, take note of how many Democrats mention peepee tapes.
    Would that be zero? That would be zero.

    Take note: The most lurid detail of this whole thing remains un-fucking-exploited, unlike say, for example, The Blue Dress™.

    * kick up distracting dust storms

    • Vincent Ricola

      I’m living for the day that the pee pee tape is brought up in an official hearing.

      • valgalky23

        And the day we all get to see it.

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          Ugh, talk about your Pyrrhic victories. That one’s gonna leave a scar.

          • H0mer0

            DO NOT WANT!!

      • cmd resistor

        So far the closest was that funny video of the little kids at a Sean Spicer press conference and the one kid kept saying he wanted to see the pee pee tapes.

    • Oily Messiah

      I’m pretty sure Cruz wants to show abedin his weiner, bc he can’t get her name out of his mouth.

      • H0mer0

        [that works on more than one level.]

  • Aaron Wise

    Criminal intent.
    Mama like

  • OrG

    LOCK THEM UP! ALL OF THEM!!

  • bbayliss

    SPECIAL PROSECUToR!@!!!!!!

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    They’re all dirty- that’s why we need an independent prosecutor

  • boyblue122
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Which proves she’s a dirty commie libtard

    • Apple Scruff

      Bush senior? No way, she cannot be that old.

      (edit: not that she’s “old” but that she looks too young now).

      • boyblue122

        Maybe if she was fresh outta law school when first hired

      • Major_Major_Major

        In ’89, she’s fiddy or so.

        • Apple Scruff