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Lo this past week, an article has been making the rounds on social media claiming that Malia Obama was arrested “with a gang of thugs” in Chicago. For dogfighting. It came from a site called America’s Last Line Of Defense, which reported:

Malia Obama may have done irreparable harm to her career this morning when she decided to join a gang of thugs in Chicago for a day of drinking, drugs and dogfighting at a public park in Chicago. Malia was arrested along with seven others and charged with wanton endangerment of animals, public intoxication and possession of a controlled substance.

Included was this very realistic looking Malia Obama mugshot along with the 7 “thugs” she was supposedly arrested with. You know, because they always let people look to the side in a mugshot.

Thousands of racists excitedly shared and commented on the article with sly quips about how of course the mainstream media won’t report this!

And they were right! The mainstream news sure didn’t report this — not because they are so madly in love with the Obamas — but rather because it’s not true. America’s Last Line of Defense is a satirical news site, as noted on their “About Us” page:

DISCLAIMER: The Resistance may include information from sources that may or may not be reliable and facts that don’t necessarily exist. All articles should be considered satirical and any and all quotes attributed to actual people complete and total baloney. Pictures that represent actual people should be considered altered and not in any way real.

This is the same site, by the way, responsible for another widely-debunked but viral article about Malia Obama supposedly being kicked out of Harvard.

Looking at the site itself, as well as its Facebook page, it clearly exists explicitly for the purpose of trolling Republicans and Trump supporters to see what dumb shit they will believe. And, admittedly, some of it is comedy gold.

People believed that article, too. Many responders were half in tears at the beautiful thing they thought Donald Trump wanted to do for them, at no taxpayer expense (on Air Force One?). One lady even took it extra far and insisted that Trump actually uses his own plane for trips rather than Air Force One!

hes a very giving man,,he gives his all even when people like you put him down,he has his own plane,he does charge the american people nor do we pay for his trips.

Also rather delightful were the reactions to this post about how the 9th Circuit declared Christianity illegal.

Now, no one loves a good “They thought The Onion was real!” moment more than I do. It is maybe one of my favorite things in life. I could probably spend hours sifting through the comments on this Facebook page. People believing dumb shit PLUS conservatives not knowing what satire is? Sign me up! Hell, as I type I am in the thralls of a gigglefit over the fact that alt-right douchebag Mike Cernovich and all his minions are retweeting a Tweet I wrote making fun of him:

A few of them have even followed me!

However, as delightful and honestly kind of satisfying as it is to see how truly, truly stupid Trump supporters are, their stupidity is dangerous. Their stupidity affects elections. As tempting as it is, those of us who know better cannot go around encouraging this.

The plain fact is, this shit makes them worse. As I clicked on the shares of each of these posts, there were only a handful of times in which any of the thousands of people who shared them were told “HEY, you just fell for some fake news! That is not real!” For the most part, there were either zero comments or comments from those who also believed it. So it’s not like these people are sharing these stories, finding out they’re fake and feeling embarrassed and being more careful about what they share next time. Most of them just go on believing them.

In the case of the Malia articles — as well as several other of their articles specifically intended to bait racists, they’re contributing to making people more racist. And that’s not only not funny, it could cause real and actual harm to black people.

These people come up with enough dumb shit on their own. They come up with enough racist bullshit on their own. They don’t need any help.

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  • h4rr4r

    “wanton endangerment of animals” is not the name of the crime anywhere. Why do our racists not make these things more believable? Rarely is the question asked, is our racists learning.

    • mancityRed6

      they believe because it fits the narrative they already have

    • therblig

      my vegan cookbook cites the “wonton endangerment of animals”

      • Alienist

        I think the only animals harmed by won tons are pigs. Delicious, delicious pigs.

  • JMP

    These people are shocked to be told that the word “gullible” isn’t in the dictionary.

    • Oblios_Cap

      it has a mirror on the page next to the definition.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Really? I have to see this for myself—heyyyyyyy!

        • H0mer0

          Like “Harvey” with Jimmy Stewart.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    In a way, I kind of wish that sites that don’t do satire that well would kind of stop it.

    • BearLeft

      I agree. Who’da thunk these asswipes could read?!

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        The problem is, they see this, believe it, repeat it, and then freak out and claim that Snopes is a liberal website when someone points out that what they are sharing on Facebook isn’t actually true.

        • James

          “Facts have a liberal bias, and I don’t want to be biased.”

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Is the Earth flat? Teach the controversy!

          • James

            Phlogiston or aether? Can both exist in the same space?

          • Bad Tom

            Well sure!

            Phlogiston is the substance of heat.
            Aether conducts light.
            Totally different things.
            ——-
            If you start mentioning things like how that cannon dude (Benjamin Thomson, 1798) found that a dull cannon drill can make unlimited heat just by turning, or that Michelson-Morley could not find the effect of the Earth flowing through the luminiferous aether, I’m gonna stick my fingers in my ears and holler “NeenerNeenerNeenerNeener”.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
  • Vecchioivan

    I’m old and antisocial, and I can’t help laughing myself silly over what these people will believe.

    • kareemachan

      I’m old(ish) and antisocial, and this scares me. A LOT.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Only problem is, they vote.
      Fuck Voter ID . . . what we need is Voter IQ. (Sadly, the GOP would shit bricks if we tried.)

      • JCfromNC

        As much as poll tests belong in the past, things like this do make it tempting to shill for a standard, federally-determined civics exam to qualify people as voters. It wouldn’t do anything about teaching voters not to fall for fake news sites, but at least the ones that hate education and taking tests wouldn’t bother to get qualified.

  • schmannity

    “information from sources that may or may not be reliable and facts that don’t necessarily exist.”

    Otherwise known as the President’s Daily Briefing (from Bannon).

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      More like the President’s Daily De-Briefing (by Bannon).

      • Rags

        More like the entire contents of 4-5’s head

  • Sekhet Bast-Ra

    So, instead of stopping the satire maybe we should up the ante. Like waaaaaaaay up. “Liberals are pre-disposed to hate lizard people like Ivanka and Jared! WHOA if true!” “Obama and El Chapo linked to anti-Illuminati syndicate that targets Grand Illuminatus Trump! EWIGE BLUMENKRAFT!” “Hillary un-hooded at KKK rally! SHAME!”

    • WotsAllThisThen

      First they said Hillary wasn’t doing enough to court Trump supporters, now she’s doing too much. She just can’t win, can she?

    • mardam422

      I hear when the hood came off Hillary there was a man underneath.

      • TheBoatDude

        That yelled “I would have gotten away with it, if it weren’t for you damn kids and your fucking dog!”

    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      I would settle for the same thing I’ve always been willing to settle for: a headline that says, “Obama Demands Conservative Voters Continue To Breathe, Eat Food, Drink Water: Arrogant Kenyan Tyrant Instructs Values Voters Not To Off Themselves.”

    • James

      “Obama unhooded at Klan rally.”

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Malia was, in fact, dogfighting. She shot down several ME-109s in the Battle of Britain, and even a ME-262 while escorting a bomber squadron deep into Nazi territory. The MSM doesn’t give her nearly enough credit for this.

    • therblig
    • MynameisBlarney

      She also built the Great Pyramids.
      BY HERSELF!

      • TJ Barke

        With this one weird trick!

        • onedollarjuana

          She even shoveled in the grain by herself!

        • H0mer0

          but Mojo Nixon told me it was Elvis.

          • Naytch

            I thought Elvis needed boats?

      • Well if you want it done right….

        • MynameisBlarney

          True.

      • mt2099

        I didn’t even know she was Jewish.

    • TJ Barke

      BillO was there, but refuses to report on it

    • janecita

      She was one of the original Night Witches.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      She’s being recognized more and more.

      • Jamesacolin

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !sp307c:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. Follow this link for more information
        !sp307c:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs597NetworkKingGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!sp307c:….,…….

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          McClaren or GTFO!

    • Rok E Raccoon

      No one even asks why was there a WW II. Sad

  • ArgieBargie

    The stupid. It hurts.

  • therblig

    fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

    i know lots of stupid people, but i don’t know anybody this fucking stupid. are they born that way, do they work at killing their brain cells? i just can’t even.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Cernovich?

    Ain’t he that magic spoo guy?

  • mardam422

    Do you think any of those people feel any shame at all when they find out they’ve been believing something like that? Sorry, not really a question, I suppose.

  • JasonB

    I think the analysis of their intent is incorrect. I believe that they exist to create false stories that will be believed and spread by these idiots for the sole purpose of spreading defamatory stories for which they can not be prosecuted. After all, the website clearly states that they are satire, it’s not their fault that people believe the stories, right? They know exactly what they’re doing. Remember, a false story travels half way around the world before the truth can even get it’s shoes on. We need to shut these f’ers down.

    • James

      Regrettably, the I Amendment would disagree. One may lie, as long as one is not slanderous or libellous. Marking the item as “satire” gives them just as much I Amendment protection as The Onion.

      • Suttree

        You also can’t force satire to actually be funny.

        • James

          I would argue if it’s not funny, it’s not satire, but that’s just me.

          • Nockular cavity

            Good luck defining “funny” in court.

          • TheBoatDude

            Funny! Funny, how? How is it Funny? What the fuck makes it so Funny?

      • Red Bird Ω

        But who has time to sue everyone.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Morons are hilarious – so long as you don’t elect them.
    http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/a-family-in-crisis-rethinks-the-president-they-chose/
    Anderson Cooper has a conversation with the wife of a deported job creator:

    COOPER: You voted for him.

    HELEN: I voted for him. Because he said, “We’re going to make our economy better.” I did like that idea. And I said to Roberto, “You know what, you’re getting a small business, and that’s going to help you with your taxes.” But he said, “Okay, well, but you don’t think he’s going to deport all of us people?”

    COOPER: Roberto actually raised that idea?

    HELEN: Yeah, he did. And I said, “Roberto, c’mon now. You’ve got your documents, you obey the law, you haven’t done anything bad — you’re not a criminal.”

    Cooper asked Helen, who is herself a naturalized citizen from Greece, if she regrets her vote. “Like they say, you should read the fine print first before you make a selection, I should have listened closely to those debates,” she said. “That was the mistake I made. I didn’t listen.”

    Her, and how many million other morons?

    • Carole

      Ah, the tragic history of the Bearenstain Bears again.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Listened closely to the debates???? WTF??? The shitgibbon was at PEAK FUCKSHIT during the debates!!!! You should have listened closer to his rambling nonsense and derived what exactly??? Jeezus!!!!

    • MynameisBlarney

      If stupidity were painful, she’d be in shock right now.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Cheapy divorce!

      • Bad Tom

        If stupidity were painful, that would be awesome.

        • Regret

          We need a microbiologist, geneticist, and/or epidemiologist to make that happen for us! SCIENCE!

          • wavicles

            Now that’s some CRISPR that might help.

        • Rags

          ..and the dome would have blown off the Congressional building from the screams years ago

          • Bad Tom

            Republican Conventions would be another danger zone.

    • jesterpunk
      • James

        Pretty much the answer to every person who says “but I thought he meant those other people.”

    • Oblios_Cap

      Sounds like Roberto really must be regretting his big, fat Greek wedding.

    • Dutchman

      So, is she now one of those people that I get behind at Publix waiting for them to finish their funds transfer to MeHiCo?

    • SeeTrain65

      At least 62.

  • Mpeg

    How many grandaughter-witch’s does does Ms. Liu have in all, I wonder?

    • H0mer0

      that seems like a nice Chinese grandma, unlike my patient’s Chinese grandma who is always saying stuff like “Dasane wa!”

  • TJ Barke

    Which side is the one that does the fake news?

  • snigsy

    Dang, America, I know you daily by following you on that news-box thingy called the radio-thingy (what my grandparents sat beside) and STILL, despite my old-timey wishful thinking, you still go on. According to the radio-thingy, some of you live in the here-and-now. But, others, well there’s not even a French word for that.

    ETA: But I digress because I’m getting drunk.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Maybe they’re onto something mystical:

    In the Shurangama Sutra, the Buddha reveals that what we take to be the real world may not be real at all, but rather distorted perceptions of reality arising from perceiving the world through our body and its senses.

    • Oblios_Cap

      No, they really aren’t

      • Dutchman

        How you do that hidey text thing?

        • Oblios_Cap

          , with “spoiler” behind the slash.

          • Dutchman

            Mucho Coolio! Thank you.

          • aktlib101

            will try test

        • Oblios_Cap

          “” and “bracket”/>” with “spoiler” between the brackets. Had to spell bracket – < -out otherwise you wouldn't be able to see it.

        • SeeTrain65

          Always wondered that myself. Now I know.

  • I’m inclined to agree.

    I see these everyday from relatives on social media, and even when I provide links to debunk them, the stories become part of their mind’s worldview. Thus Obama, a competent and scandal free administrator, Christian, and seemingly devoted family man is now the sinister, corrupt, murderous son of Satan scheming to destroy America and Jesus while visiting gay prostitutes.

    Let’s not push them into an even larger break from reality.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Even THAT is projection.

    • James

      Don’t forget that President Obama was running a sinister scheme to overthrow Christianity and replace it with Islam, undermining the government, supporting anti-American terrorist groups.

      Simultaneously, President Obama was the most incompetent president ever seen, who had to go round the world making an “apology tour” for fake American misdeeds in the world.

      Cognitive dissonance: It’s what’s for dinner.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Meanwhilst, in France…

    “Macron campaign knew the hackers were coming so they laid a trap for them.”

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2017/5/7/1659800/-Macron-campaign-knew-the-hackers-were-coming-so-they-laid-a-trap-and-defeated-them

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      That’s fantastique.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Oui! Bon, tres bon!

    • unclejeems

      That’s great, but let’s not go assuming the Democratic Party has learned anything from any of this.

  • Carole

    My crazy fucking RWNJ pseudo father-in-law told my daughter that she would be arrested if she said “Merry Christmas” in her public school. She justifiably scoffed at this (and virtually everything else he says). Imagine my surprise when I found this on the interwebs: http://www.snopes.com/politics/christmas/suspended.asp
    Alas, the original article, which clearly stated that it was political satire, is no longer there. But a bunch of fine, upstanding right-wing web sites have run with it, sans disclaimer, and the aforementioned fuckhead probably subscribes to more than one of them.

  • James

    My wife once got a wingnut E-mail sent to a whole bunch of people claiming that the VA had ordered all crosses be removed from chapels. I was not aware she got it.

    The next day, she made a point of going to the VA chapel when I had an appointment, and took a picture of it. I asked her why she wanted a picture of the chapel, and she recounted the E-mail.

    She then attached a photo of the chapel (complete with crosses in the stained-glass windows and another on the wall) and hit “reply all” to the E-mail.

    A bunch of people insisted she’d faked the photo.

    • grindstone

      I made the utter mistake of answering one of my MIL’s wingnut email chains with facts. This happened to be some old “they’re about to vote on this” email, and I pointed out that the congress wasn’t in session and if you looked on the website you could see what bills would be coming up in the next session, and this one, you know, the one where they come and take all your guns? wasn’t on there.

      Last time I ever tried to inject facts. I picked up a lovely troll who sent me emails for ages basically wanting me to die in various horrible ways. And when I asked my in-laws who belonged to the email address, they had no idea, but surely it wasn’t one of their friends…….yeah.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      My mother was outraged when the VA took away all the crosses…

      You think I’m kidding.

      She still cites it as an example of the War on Christians.

  • whitroth

    Still sounds like libel to me.

    And Trump’s *not* giving away fully-paid trips to Mar-a-Lago. Why, a friend of mine had to cancel, when she found that it didn’t include transportation (she opted, instead, to have lunch with me).

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    If it’s too good stupid to be true, it probably isn’t.

    One of those rules I try to live by.

  • Red Bird Ω

    Those articles exist due to confirmation bias. If the story were about someone you didn’t like you would be less likely to verify. If it’s about someone you like, you check to make sure it’s true.

  • RobKanC

    This gives fake news a entirely different meaning. This is like news from a alternate dimension and the racist shitbags in the comments. Holy shit. Fuck them all.

  • James

    Off-topic: Life in a rural village.

    The penalty of being around all the time and vice-mayor of my town:

    I just got a call to go look at the abandoned house across the street from mine. “Okay, why?” You’ll find out.

    So I go outside. There is a goat standing on the steps, chained to the yard.

    Call the person back. “We have an ordinance against livestock in the
    village, but we don’t have any way to enforce it. Would you like to
    volunteer for the open village marshal position?”

    A bunch of not very nice statements about why the village government
    is not enforcing ordinances followed. For that, we need a marshal and a
    municipal court (costs money), or we need to contract with the county
    sheriff to enforce our ordinances (costs money).

    Costs money is where the argument usually ends. So now I have a goat across the street.

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      Hey, long as it ain’t _that_ kind of goat story

      • James

        The goat has a collar. . . . and is on a leash. . . .

        • chicken thief

          Now yer milking it! Is its name “Billy”?

        • Regret

          It is also an illegal goat.
          What is the owner going to do? Call the cops?
          All you have to do is deny any such goat ever existed.

        • wavicles

          Yes, go on…

    • natoslug

      On the plus side, goats are usually pretty cool. And if this particular goat isn’t cool, goats are also pretty tasty.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        They do like to climb on things- like the roof of your car.

        • James

          I own a Smart: the goat would probably crush it.

          • H0mer0

            SMRT!

    • jesterpunk

      On the bright side you dont have to mow your lawn anymore if you can borrow the goat.

      http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/google/5297097/Google-hires-goats-to-cut-grass.html

      • James

        I was out with a scythe because the grass is too tall for my lawnmower. The goat would probably be easier.

      • Pre-Existing CatCafe

        It’s true, those guys eat EVERYTHING. They use them in the Bay Area to keep the hillsides cropped. I didn’t need to mention the “Bay Area” for you to know if would have to be the Bay Area, of course.

        • jesterpunk

          My grandfather used to have goats when I was a kid, he had a hard time keeping them in the fence because they kept eating it.

        • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

          The city of St Paul has been renting them from a farmer, to eat Buckthorn (an incredibly invasive species of shrub) in the parks. last weekend, a car sped past the police, near one of the parks.
          A chase ensued, and the cops made the car pull over. In the back of the vehicle, they found 2 very frightened goats, that the thieves were trying to, er, kidnap.

    • Dutchman

      I did not realize that you were my neighbor! Also too, Goat Libelz!!!!1111

    • chicken thief

      You’re kidding us, right?

      • James

        Baaa . . . the goat is full-grown, not a kid.

    • whitroth

      To which story I have but one thing to say, to wit: BAHHH!”

    • RobKanC

      Goat curry is amazing. Just saying.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Well, that’s life in the nanny state…

      • Pre-Existing CatCafe

        ^^^This is genius

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          *blush*

    • Dudleydidwrong

      So now you’re on the horns of a dilemma? Don’t you wish the guy who called you had not butted in?

  • Jo Mathie

    Jesus. Trump keeps going on about “fake news” (mostly things that he has been filmed or recorded saying) and these idiots are still going after the Obamas? It’s obviously ridiculous. Maybe pay a bit more attention to what is going on with the people in congress that Trump elected to screw you over.

  • honeywest

    All this sounds like Wing Nut Daily. They are no better.

  • chicken thief

    That you, Robyn, and the web site have both claimed that the Malia story is false only proves that it is real!!!!

  • Terry Australis

    Of course Malia wasn’t dogfighting. She doesn’t even know how to fly a fighter plane!

    • Contemplative Ron

      As far as we know!

    • TheBoatDude

      She’s only certified on the C-130…

  • Mike Wallace

    I mean, what is unbelievable about people openly fighting dogs in a public park in one of the largest city’s in the nation….

  • Portia McGonagal

    I just can’t even snark about these people anymore. I feel like we’re trapped in the movie “Idiocracy” and cannot get out. Maybe because we are.

    • WeaselPoo

      “Dumbs, dumbs in the deep! We cannot get out! They are coming!”

    • keenanjay

      We have fallen and we can’t get up! I keep pushing the fucking button and no one answers…

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    It can happen to anyone. I lived in terror for a week or so once because I watched a newscast at the movie theater about a race of technologically advanced aliens who traveled to Earth on July 4th, situating themselves in strategic positions around the globe. At first, no one knew what their intentions were, but when the first death rays shot out of the spaceships, destroying everything and everyone in their paths, it was pretty clear they were up to no good. I hid inside for daaaaaaays, refusing to answer my phone, because I was convinced it was an alien, calling to lure me outside with it’s mind-powers. I kept wondering why things were so normal in my neighborhood, but I figured the aliens just hadn’t made it that far yet. When I ran out of cheese, it became clear I had to go out for supplies, no matter the cost. Imagine how silly I felt when I rolled up at the Food Lion, and realized that newscast was a movie, and there were never any aliens at all! I wish I could remember the name of that movie. It was pretty good. You guys would like it. They fooled me good!

  • Ezio
  • LSP

    I agree with Robyn, this shit isn’t funny because conservatives, their target audience, have no sense or sense of humor. It’s like all the fake statisics they have about immigrants being monsters. No matter what you say to these people, they eat that shit up. Mass fear-mongering is how we ended up with Trump. We can still make fun of them without making matters worse.

    They should have posted a picture of the Brady Bunch with Malia in the middle square, in my opinion.

    • James

      Maybe not, that’s where Alice was (the maid), which to an awful lot of wingnuts would be about the only appropriate job for Malia.

  • Me The People

    Totally agree, Robyn, they see this stuff, it inflames them to a new level of hate, which they will then look to justify and reinforce even after they discover they were fooled (which is an optimistic scenario), even more so because of the added layer of butthurt from the shame of being shown to be an idiot.

  • James

    The Republicans are throwing up nothing but chaff in the hearing with Sally Yates and James Clapper. Everything from Emailbenghazipodestarissotarecipepizzagatecllintonfoundaiton to humaabadeinanthonyweiner.

    Amy Klobacher when she got her turn to ask questions: Can we get back to Russia now?

    James Clapper noted that the E-mail hack (under oath) was against both parties: Against the Democrats to try to destroy them, against the Republicans to try to control them.

  • Marla

    I love it. This shit was so comical and I needed a laugh today

  • Hardly Ideal

    Call me crazy, but I suddenly started imagining Malia dogfighting in the aerial combat sense. It’s kind of awesome.

    The sky above Chicago swirled with the trails of Tupolevs and their Sukhoi escorts, all pursuing a lone American jet. In the cockpit, Malia Obama grunted with effort to maintain consciousness as she pitched and rolled, the high-g turns shrouding her wings in compression clouds. A panicked voice came in over her radio.
    “Thug 7 to Thug 1, what are you doing? There’s too many up there!” Slipping behind a straggler, she locked a missile and grinned.
    “Don’t worry, Thug 7.” She let the missile fly, the enemy pilot bailing just in time before their plane was blasted to smithereens. “I’ll leave a few for you guys!” Despite her efforts, one interceptor stuck close to her back. She jammed the stick back, sending her jet straight up in a suicidal climb. Thug 7 cried over the radio,
    “This is crazy!”
    “You’re probably right,” she cursed through clenched teeth as tracers flew over her head. They climbed for what seemed like an eternity until the enemy fire finally abated. Glancing in her mirrors, she saw her gambit had paid off and her pursuer had stalled out before her. Rolling over, she roared back behind him and let rip with her main gun. Sparks and flame flashed across its wings until the interceptor started to tumble, twisting and flaming as it crashed into Lake Michigan.

    …wait, what were we talking about again?

    • RobKanC

      Would totally pay to watch this movie.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Callsign: Black Ice.

  • Treg Brown
    • Internet Hitler

      BREAKING: Prezident’s dog missing!
      The Trump family are in tears worrying about their little pooch Ketchup, who was last seen peeing on the bushes in the White House rose garden.
      Security footage revealed a white van driven by a young black woman cruising nearby at the time Ketchup was last seen.
      Anyone with any information about Donald Trump’s beloved dog should contact Wonkette immediately.

      • TundraGrifter

        I’ve been working all day and not on the Internets. Thanks for the chance to catch-up.

    • H0mer0

      Reminds me of my Lhasa Apso, may she frolic with FSM across the rainbow bridge

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    These people come up with enough dumb shit on their own. They come up with enough racist bullshit on their own. They don’t need any help.

    “Besides, it is costing me a lot of business!”

    –Mr. Balawan Smith, Nigerian President in Exile Holding Your Lottery Winnings For You

  • Rick Hill

    “it’s funny because no trump is ever going to be prosecuted for the actual crimes they commit”

    • TundraGrifter

      It’s not the crime. It’s the cover-up that gets ’em almost every time!

  • Michael Sullivan

    Let’s not get too high-horsey about dumb Trump supporters. The ones buying this ARE dumb and racist, but your Aunt Crystalraven would also share a similar post claiming GMOs cause autism. Let’s fight stupidity and people who prey on it, generally.

    • Snarkbot 9000

      It was their personal choice to ignore reality and copious evidence to adopt a false worldview. They deserve no sympathy for being willfully negligent in meeting the responsibilities of citizenship.

      Those who refuse to see the world around them are not all blind.

      • James

        Perhaps you don’t live in an area like I do: No Internet (except in my house, for which I pay a fantastic price), only one conservative newspaper, no television or cable service except a FOX station, and Christian hate radio.

        If you have no source of news other than propaganda, it is not surprising that your view is skewed (there has been no local reporting on Trump’s racist remarks, his alleged Russian collusion, nothing – as such, people look at me like I’m deluded when I bring it up because they literally have no source to check).

        Thus it is not surprising Nate Silver listed my House district most likely to go to Trump. Eight whole people voted for Hillary Clinton in my township.

        • Ducksworthy

          Vast areas of this country have been receiving almost noting but Active Russian Propaganda disguised as news for years now. Oh and Christian Hate Radio. (I just got back from a long road trip.)

        • WeaselPoo

          That’s awful for you and explains a lot–including some of the people I have met in my highly diverse metropolitan area ,well connected to various sources of information and well informed, who have somehow ended up where I am from Flyoverland, and only see a hells-cape from which they are chafing to extricate themselves. Granted the road ‘repairs’ , litter and old cheap architecture easily found scattered about is old and cheap and ugly, BUT it’s hardly the end times—the curry is really good. .

        • TheBoatDude

          Without doxxing yourself, can you give a general idea of where the hell you’re located? Because it doesn’t sound good…

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      LOL Aunt Crystalraven

  • TundraGrifter

    To this very day, there are right (well, wrong) wing nutz claiming Mr. Obama received a “foreign student scholarship” to Occidental College. They say he applied as a Muslin, but the records are “sealed.”

    There are more things wrong with that silly claim than with the Trump Administration. It started as an April Fool’s Hoax – and apparently it’s impossible to drive a stake through its heart.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      My mother believes that to be 100% true.

      • James

        Thank goodness I was born in a poor, atheistic, liberal family. One that valued things like “edumakashun” and “newz”

        To my knowledge there is only one RWNJ in my family (a cousin), who won’t have anything to do with me (doesn’t have to do with politics)

      • TundraGrifter

        Perhaps the funniest thing about that hoax is that it was clearly dated April 1st.

    • Ducksworthy

      It’s too early to say how many things may be wrong with the Trump Administration. There’s something new every day and no amount of Russian inspired obfuscation can cover it all up much longer.

      • TundraGrifter

        How many things may be wrong with the Trump Administration?

        AOTK.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Maybe we need to hold a funeral, like with Pepe?

  • Lucas Foxx

    My family probably believes every word of that crap. But I’M the brainwashed one…

    • Ducksworthy

      My wife’s brothers have raised the possibility of demonic possession. Maybe that’s why I lover her so…..

  • Ricky Gay

    Stoopid is a pre-existing condition.

    • Pre-Existing CatCafe

      The one pre-existing condition the Republicans encourage

      • Ducksworthy

        These traitors encourage all of them now Katie. The more death and disease in America, the better Putin’s Russian looks.

        • Pre-Existing CatCafe

          Eggggsactly.

  • Nephilim

    This just verifies that Trump supporters, like Trump, have no sense of humor.

    • Snarkbot 9000

      A sense of humor requires some level of intelligence….

    • zerosumgame0005

      or of honor, or of ethics, or any kind of education that stuck

    • Swampgas_Man

      Common sense, horse sense. . .

  • Daniel Hooper

    I’m going to have to dispute your point that an article, satirical or otherwise, does more harm than good if it plays into racist stereotypes. Anybody who falls for that kind of article would probably believe that kind of story even if every other line was, “This is a made up article and you’re a moron if you actually buy this.”. If the idea is already in their head or they’re so swayed by a lone article, actual facts will do little to change their mind.
    If anything, I’d argue it’s good that articles like this are shared proudly by racists and other morons. It makes it clear to the more rational and sane among us to avoid spending much time with them.

    • mancityRed6

      it is kind of like the whole “turn their ankles so we know them by their limping” thing, but you’d be surprised how many people don’t do any kind of research on anything. or, maybe not

    • TheBoatDude

      I like that idea. Provocative headline and “You fell for a fake story, dipshit” as the body. Won’t fix shit, but it can be fun watching them set themselves on fire…

  • James

    This will not stand! The goat across the street broke free of his leash (it isn’t a chain it just looks like one) and was in my flowerbeds. Grrr, argh, grab leash and take goat back across the street, because the only other thing to do is go Galt and claim the goat as my own because it’s in my yard.

    • zerosumgame0005

      yum, gyro’s!

      • zerosumgame0005

        too soon?

        • Me not sure

          Never. I’m holding out for a gyro!

  • I misread the headline as Melania arrested in Chicago for dogfighting.

    Now THAT’S a story!

  • Scooby

    As it turns out all 200 trips were won by Trump family members. What a coincidence.

  • Mister Smith

    Trumptards are deplorable maggots.

  • nick kelly

    JUST LEAKED: Trump and Kushner discuss 1967 borders

    A member at Mar-a Lago who asked not to be identified was near Trump and Jarod Kushner on the golf course. Trump asked Kushner how Israel ended up in the Occupied West Bank in the first place. Kushner told him this was lost by Jordan in the 1967 war.
    ‘Well what part of Germany does the US have now?” said Trump, “how come they get to keep it?”
    At this point the two became aware of the member’s proximity and they abruptly began talking about Kushner’s handicap.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Kushner’s handicap is Trump.

      • Spurning Beer

        He’s morally handicapped, too.

    • Me not sure

      Being married into the Trump family or having a jailbird for a dad?

    • Lefty Wright

      Sadly, that story is believable. You are kidding, right?

  • Ducksworthy

    Clearly America’s Last Line of Derpetude is a subsidiary of RT.

  • TootsStansbury

    Just funzies, what could go wrong? It’s not like the Planned Parenthood story or the pizza place sex slave hoax caused any harm. Oh…wait.

  • Shibusa

    http://cdn0.dailydot.com/uploaded/images/original/2017/1/12/14084694785_958c34c7a5_o.jpg
    People who own Portuguese water dogs don’t generally get involved in dogfighting.

    • Me not sure

      Their opponents choke to death on the fluffy fur. ROPE-A-DOPE!

    • Anson Montgomery

      Why are they sitting on chairs? Kinda gross, and I love dogs! And the Obamas. Classy in the face of baseless lies.

  • Dr. Jo

    Brava!

  • hanadora444

    Never mind the story. You can’t get past the mugshot. Are theRWNJs trying to tell us that they hauled eight people, took seven mugshots, and then completely changed the lighting for the eighth?

    • They believe what they want to believe, about everything.

    • TundraGrifter

      Don’t mugshots usually have a bunch of lines on the wall in the back so they know how tall the person is, and a little sign around their neck with the name of the arresting department, their arrest number, and the date?

      All mine sure do.

    • cgthegeek

      They don’t see the difference in her tone from the others. All they see is BlacketyBlackBlackBLACK

    • UnsaltedSinner

      These guys aren’t exactly Lt. Columbo.

      • TheBoatDude

        They aren’t exactly Corporal O’Reilly…

  • TundraGrifter

    Robyn – Wonkette’s Concong Zhang.

  • Delu

    When I read the title my first thought was, when could Michelle Obama fly a fighter plane? My second thought was, when did she join the Air Force? My third thought was, how is dogfighting illegal exactly (unless it’s to commit fratricide)?

    All useless thoughts apparently.

    But the fake news convincing Trumpians and their stupidity? Not at all surprising, they wouldn’t BE Trumpians if they were not taken in by fake news. Indeed this is clearly shown during the Presidential elections where people like those in Morocco made big bucks on peddling fake news about the election candidates. While there were fake news published for BOTH ends of the political spectrum (both pro-Hillary and pro-Trump articles), there was OVERWHELMINGLY more articles of the pro-Trump end.

    As anyone who knows market economics 101, you make money best when supply approaches demand, so the only plausible reason why there were so many more pro-Trump fake articles than pro-Hillary fake articles was because there was greater CONSUMPTION and SUBSCRIPTION to the pro-Trump ones.

    Meaning Trumpians are far more likely and far more easily to subscribe to fake news as long as it conforms to their worldview. We already knew this long before the elections. The list of anti-Obama fake news was already far longer than my arm years before 2016.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Tell them it’s fun to play fetch with wolves.

  • Mavenmaven

    …as opposed to the Trump offspring who are as pure as the driven snow.

  • SeeTrain65

    The Onion at least has the decency to make their stories so ridiculous that only the slowest of minds would believe it.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      People do believe The Onion all the time. Their “abortion plex” article was widely quoted by RWNJs.

      • SeeTrain65

        The slowest minds, like a Louisana Congressman.

      • Lefty Wright

        Yeah, when a single article is pulled out and spread, certain stories can seem to be real news, especially to the right wing conspiracy nuts. But going to the website, you quickly find out it is snark and satire.

    • TheBoatDude

      Yeah, but the density of people (mental capacity, not mass per unit volume) increase to the point that it’s satire seems too real…

  • Tosca

    Wishful thinking, but…I would love to see Ms. Obama sue everyone who shared this shit for libel. It’s damaging false information, very easily discoverable as false information, which has been represented as true, with the sole purpose of damaging her reputation. It would make these turdburgers very miserable, and might make others think twice before blindly sharing shit just because they WANT it to be true. Enraging.

  • cgthegeek

    I know it’s unconstitutional, but I feel like too many of us are too stupid for these satirical sites to exist.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    You can’t really troll people who believe everything you tell them, and these people will go to their grave believing this crap. What’s worse, these stories will never go away now that they’re out there in the wingnutosphere.

  • Truly Madly Derply

    Evidently it never occurred to teh believers that Malia’s Secret Service detail would have had to turn blind eyes to her illegal activity. Though if any of them happen to be thugs themselves African American, that’s all the explanation needed.

  • Heyzeus Ahchay

    I think this is actionable in court. She really should sue the fuck out of them.

    • kaydenpat

      Naw. She can live her life, be successful and soar like her parents did. She comes from a classy family and doesn’t need to lower herself to the level of Rightwing trash. She’s a public figure and the courts would probably rule that anyone can say anything about her. I’m sure Malia will be just fine.

  • Jamesacolin

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  • Kaete

    Claiming to be satire like the Onion is just an excuse to keep them from being sued. They’re not in this for trolling, they’re in it for the clicks and advertising.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    We need to counter this shit, like Robyn said. I used to see a lot of things from both sides of the aisle that just were not true. I felt it was my duty to say so and provide at least three independent sources in the process. It worked in some small way as those viral lies stopped being repeated by my small circle.

    I also greatly appreciate the one time in the non comment section when I jumped the gun and put up a misleading headline that stated Jared was under investigation. He was not and I learned a very valuable lesson about disseminating information. Never go off the headline, read the story itself and then fact check it. We’re living in an age where the very nature of truth itself is under attack and part of being in the #resistance is to advocate for truth, even when it’s not advantageous to us, especially when it’s not.

    “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”– Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night

  • dshwa

    Cultural anthropologists are going to have a field day with Facebook and Twitter one day. Assuming we still have electricity.

    • Harbinger08

      You think there’s still a future. That’s still adorable, but it will just seem sad once the roving bands of devolved cannibals are chewing the living flesh from your bones. Do what I do and carry a cyanide pill.

  • nick kelly

    MELANIA GROUNDED FOR LAUGHING AT TRUMP IMPERSONATOR

    Apparently Trump is using either sigint or humint to monitor Melania’s choice of TV news at Trump Tower.
    If human intelligence as distinct from signals intelligence is responsible, a favorite Melania lady’s maid has a good idea as to the spy’s identity.
    Melania wanted to replace a certain Trump veteran, an older housekeeper.
    This Ms. Denvers, seemed to Melania’s maid to often pop into the room around the time of Colbert’s Late Nite Show, which for a time Melania and her maid would watch in a living room.
    Melania went into such near hysterical laughter when the small black child castigated the faux Trump: ” You’re a disgrace to the human race!” that the maid ran to the side bar for either medicinal alcohol or simply water.
    And at that moment Ms. Denvers appeared as though from nowhere.

    Melania now watches TV in her room but Colbert and SNL are blocked. She dares not watch it on Internet in case ‘my wires are tapped’

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