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There is a mighty odor wafting over Washington DC today — or maybe over New Jersey, or Miami, who can even say? It is the smell of poo, and it is emanating from the vicinity of President Donald Trump’s pants, because he has shat them very much!

Our president, in addition to being a genius who knows all the best words and when he doesn’t he gives us new ones, seems mighty concerned with today’s Senate Judiciary subcommittee hearing with the former acting Attorney General Sally Yates, whom he shitcanned! (The hearing will be at 2:30 Eastern, and despite Evan having the day off, we assume we will be liveblogging it at you, even though we’re not sure that’s even legal.)

Sally Yates, you will remember, warned the White House “council,” Don McGahn, that Trump’s National Security Adviser, Mike Flynn, had been caught talking about sanctions with Russian ambassador and reported spymaster Sergey Kislyak, after Vice President Mike Pence had gone on the squawk box to say Flynn (an actual literal foreign agent) assured him he’d done no such thing.

Even after Yates’s warning, the White House kept Flynn on for two more weeks — until it somehow “got into the newspapers.” Before then, they just weren’t in too much of a rush.

So whose fault was it that Team Trump picked Mike Flynn to be national security adviser and failed to vet him, even minimally? Well, if you looked at our president’s second tweet up there, it was obviously Barack Obama’s! Which caused somebody (Barack Obama) to call up NBC News right away and ask, “man with pants full of doody says what?”

Former President Obama warned President Donald Trump against hiring Mike Flynn as his national security adviser, three former Obama administration officials tell NBC News.

The warning, which has not been previously reported, came less than 48 hours after the November election when the two sat down for a 90-minute conversation in the Oval Office.

Those three Obama administration officials were Barack Obama, Barack Obama in a porn mustache, and Barack Obama in cat-eye glasses and a Dolly Parton wig.

According to all three former officials, Obama warned Trump against hiring Flynn. The Obama administration fired Flynn in 2014 from his position as head of the Defense Intelligence Agency, largely because of mismanagement and temperament issues.

To be fair, if Barack Obama really thought that Donald Trump should not hire Mike Flynn to be his top national security dude, because of how Flynn is a crazy dick (and also a literal actual foreign agent), then Barack Obama should have said he was the greatest guy and Barack Obama loves him very much, and please, whatever you do, make sure you hire Mike Flynn.

So really, as you can see, it’s all Obama’s fault, AS USUAL.

In other breaking news, Donald Trump is a spiteful toddler spitty asshole man. See you at 2:30!

UPDATE! Trump Lies That He Thought Obama Was Just Joshin’ When He Said Not To Hire Crazy Dick Mike Flynn

[NBC]

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  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    spiteful toddler spitty asshole man

    Was this not a GOP jerb qualification?

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      More like a definition.

      • Pisto75666

        And a requirement.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Little Ms. Orangeshine does seem to have a longer than usual tie on today, twitchy twitter fingers, and a long unhappy face. What the Dems are doing is painting Flynn into a widdle itty bitty corner that includes prison time. He’ll sing a song that Trump will not like very much.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Sing a song of Trumpence
      A pocket full of spies
      Four and twenty and traitors
      Caught in their lies

      When the hearing opened
      Flynn began to sing…

      And Ill let a more talented Wonketeer finish it

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        And a Faceplacer finished it for me
        “Then the trap door opened and they all began to swing” (with votes)

  • Ride, Sally, Ride.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Trump is a little kid. Tell him not to do it and then he does it.

    Only if someone told the toddler in chief that Obama really hated Single Payer…

  • Mpeg

    If Evan liveblogs this thing on His Day Off, that’s reason alone to throw money at him/ by extension at yer wonkette~

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Gee, isn’t there something sort of…you know…unethical and immoral about the President attempting to influence a Judiciary Committee proceeding?

    • Oblios_Cap

      There’s something unethical and immoral about everything Popular Vote Loser Pussgrab does.

      • Once&futureFred

        yeah, i was going to say, when has he done something moral & ethical?
        That would be news. “DJT decent about xxxxxx, details at 11”

  • Jgb979

    I would seriously love to meet the man who ever got outfoxed in a business negotiation by this idiot….

  • Oblios_Cap

    All whining and twattering, full of sound and fury. A tale told by A Idiot, signifying nothing.

  • CutterTeam

    I’m thinking about this afternoon’s testimony and I was wondering. . . is an erection considered a pre-existing condition? Asking for a friend.

    • Once&futureFred

      Only if it lasts 4 hours or more..

    • WotsAllThisThen

      If it is, please cover it!

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Without pants?

    • Shibusa

      Straightforward question.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Ask Sally Yates, under oath, if she knows how classified information got into the newspapers soon after she explained it to W. H. Council

    Erm…if Yates were the leaker, wouldn’t it have been just as likely that the info would have hit the press before she went to the White House staff? WTF does Donald think he is proving here…oh, right.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e48d3ef252e6dec4545b90a0fef6b89c49e9d5966000e69a800885d8fbda209f.gif

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “W.H. Council”?

    • Beanz&Berryz

      He meant tapp

  • LarryHoudini

    Wow–even when his presidency’s about to go down the shitter, this guy’s thinking about golf.

    • Jgb979

      Didn’t he JUST come from another three day golf weekend?

      • Blackest Noobs

        the surprise would be the weekend Trump didn’t go golfing

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Well, I think he was trying for one, but it rained two of the days. Sad. Loser.

      • birdbrain53

        He needed to get his updates from his Russian handler.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      “about to go down the shitter” ???

      That started the moment he spoke about carnage at his inaugural.

    • Bill D. Burger
  • susan_g

    John Daly and big cheeto are living proof that golf is not a sport.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Secret Service Agent #1 “Did Littlefingers Poo in his pants again?”

    SSA #2 – “Bigly. You’re lucky you aren’t on Close Protection Detail, I think a Russian crawled up his ass and died.”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    General Flynn was given the highest security clearance by the Obama administration – but the Fake News seldom likes talking about that.

    And since that has fuck all to do with why you kept him on after having been warned, why should the media do your bidding and chase a non-story, asshole?

    • Al Swearengen

      Flynn didn’t have “National Security Advisor” clearance. He lied, or they ignored, the Russian questions on his application for NSA.

  • memzilla Ω

    Nelson Muntz, to Dolt 45: “Stop impeaching yourself! Stop impeaching yourself!”

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Erm..WH does not adjudicate clearances. Period.

  • wait! what?

    Barack: Flynn is a dick
    Donald: But he’s my dick
    Sally: Donald, chop off your dick

  • Anna Rompage

    2:30?
    What happens at 2:30?

    • wait! what?

      The earth returns to the “same position” it was 24 hours ago, because it’s flat.

    • rebecca

      Yates hearing!

      • Anna Rompage

        Sweet!

        I had this moment of panic that the Portland drinky thing time got moved up…

  • Shibusa

    If Trump had one iota of respect for (or understanding of) the separation of powers, he’d let the Senators ask Yates whatever they want. But Twittler cannot stop himself from butting in with his stupid tweets.

    • Rick Hill

      “What do you mean, I can’t do that?”

  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin
    • snigsy

      He thinks???

  • mardam422

    The poop’s in his pants now, but will soon be hitting the fan.

  • ltmcdies

    OT…for anyone interested in comic irony while waiting for hearings to begin…

    http://www.newstatesman.com/world/europe/2017/05/deep-macron-country

    • Edith Prickly

      Spot on!

  • Rick Hill

    Gawd. Over one hundred days of pure, unadulterated awfulness and it. Just. Doesn’t. Stop. Here, cleanse your palate, one of the bestest cartoon moments from the wayback:
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aAdL0P9_460s.jpg

    • SeeTrain65

      The reaction shots alone are worth it.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Oh by the way I love how the current white house made me remember and update so much about my knowledge of American history that I have learned as a History student and at the same time learned me so much about IC affairs. I could become a spook just by following twitter in the Trump era.

  • lucidamente
    • elviouslyqueer

      Somebody needs to physically remove the phone from his tiny, tiny hands, log his whiny toddler ass off Twitter, and then run over the phone with a Mack Truck.

      Or, failing that, send his whiny toddler ass directly to federal prison for the rest of his miserable, insane days.

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        Just change his password (1234, allegedly) to something he’d never be able to figure out. Like 12345.

      • jesterpunk

        Let him keep the phone, he keeps digging that hole deeper and deepr. Eventually even congressional republicans will get sick of his shit and their constituents yelling at them and impeach him.

    • Notreelyhelping

      I love the smell of witness tampering in the morning.

  • memzilla Ω
    • Anna Elizabeth

      “Jester Actual, this is Spitfire Lead – Roger, Affirm, a-fucking men to that. Spitfire Lead, Out.”

  • CutterTeam

    On such a rough day, may he take comfort in his “employee” down the hall. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/400a916feb01a574e1602365f551165846d7c34bd2cc4aff97836a89bd7c2def.jpg

  • Anna Rompage
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    It’s true that Flynn got his top level security clearance renewed in January 2016, but what Trump didn’t mention is that Flynn should have received a far more thorough vetting in advance of his becoming national security adviser, a job that allows access to the nation’s most closely-held secrets. What was the nature of that vetting, and did it raise any flags about Flynn’s lobbying work for Turkish interests during the campaign, or his paid appearance on behalf of Russian state media, both now under scrutiny by law enforcement agencies? The White House hasn’t said.

    The only vetting this administration does is to make sure its people will do Donald’s bidding. Oh, and that they’ll blame Obama for anything that goes wrong FFS.

    • Rick Hill

      “Oh, he also has Putin’s ear? Good, Putin’s my buddy.”

    • Al Swearengen

      Yeah, you would expect that our media would educate themselves on the ins and outs of the levels of security clearances before reporting on this.

  • memzilla Ω
    • YoBunnyBunny

      Wow. Is this more of the Trump Grand Strategeryisms?

      If the Obama Administration was allegedly solely responsible for Flynn’s malfeasance, why the fuck would Yates warn Trump that he was a foreign agent shit weasel if she were really a “democratic operative” out to get Trump???? That would be like telling your frenemy that she has spinach between her teeth before her big live teevee debut.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        See, where I think you went wrong in your analysis here is that you applied “reason” and “thinking things all the way through.” Abandon those, along with common sense, decency, and taking responsibility for your own actions, and the Fuckface von Clownstick regime will make a lot more sense.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        Well, see, in goperworld, you’re not supposed to be investigating your frenemy’s teeth, and if you are, you’re clearly motivated solely by politics.

  • DONALD TRUMP SHITTING BRITCHES…

    “So how is this different than any other day, dahlink?”
    -Melania Trump

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Sally Yates is on her way to testify, Mr. President.”
    ____
    ~The moment you realize that wasn’t a fart.~

    https://www.thewrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/GettyImages-501018436.jpg

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Another big question that has never been answered: Did Flynn coordinate with the president over his repeated contacts with Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak? Those contacts raised alarms not only within the Obama administration, but within Trump’s own transition team, according to reports Friday confirmed by NBC News.

    “Come on, guys, don’t make it this obvious!”

    – Trump transition team

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Vincent Ricola
  • memzilla Ω
    • proudgrampa

      LOCK HIM UP!!!!!

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      On the plus side, he learned how to spell “Counsel.” Glass only half broken?

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        Spell check gave him a couple of options, he just guessed right.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Or as Politico described it this morning, he “heckled” the investigation.

  • wait! what?

    John Daly disappoints on a level par with Donald:

    In March 2008, Daly’s swing coach Butch Harmon quit, saying that “the most important thing in (Daly’s) life is getting drunk.” Daly responded by saying “I think his lies kind of destroyed my life for a little bit.”

    • Carpe Vagenda

      In an almost poetic (although seriously cruel, like wtf, golf people) touch, the drink named after him is an Arnold Palmer spiked with vodka.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    In advance of her testimony, Republicans have been accusing her of acting politically, and noting that she was fired by Trump for refusing to enforce his travel ban. They call her a partisan Democrat.

    In response, her defenders point out that she spent much of her 27-year Justice Department career working as a line prosecutor, a non-political job. Though she was appointed to positions in both the Clinton and Obama administrations, she was widely respected on both sides of the aisle. Georgia Republican Johnny Isakson, her home state senator, was among those introducing her at her 2015 confirmation hearing to become deputy attorney general.

    She was confirmed, 84-12.

    That’s a much larger winning margin than yours was, Donald!

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      “Fake news! 306 is bigger than 84! I win AGAIN! Punting the ball into the endzone for a touchback! WINNING!”

      • thewalkindude

        Kellyanne Conway @KellyannePolls
        Lack of self-awareness is stunning.

        (She was referring to HRC here, but it can be repurposed)

    • schmannity

      Also, too, every court that has considered the ban, including one in a place called Hawaii (?Sp?) said Yates was right and the Nazi Numbnuts were wrong.

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        I think the correct spelling is K-E-N-Y-A.

  • Blackest Noobs

    p.s. Barry told him Flynn would be an issue…but like most White People, Trump ignored the black guy’s advice.

  • schmannity

    That’s right, Dumbo the Fatass. Obama gave him the highest security clearance and then fired his ass for insubordination. You, on the other hand, hired him (insubordination of a black President is a good thing) and then, when warned that he was compromised by Russian spies, took TWO WEEKS to let him continue.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Sally Yates will continue the process to Make America Great Again:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C_P_trfW0AQKwhL.jpg

    • Blackest Noobs

      in a perfect perfect world we all would get to punch the shit outha him.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    “There is a mighty odor wafting over Washington DC today — or maybe over New Jersey, or Miami, who can even say? It is the smell of poo, and it is emanating from the vicinity of President Donald Trump’s pants, because he has shat them very much!”

    https://youtu.be/YSmWhlFjuw4

    • proudgrampa

      A Mighty Mighty Wind.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Best in Loo.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Don’t worry Herr Drumpf! America is building you a wall. We can’t wait to show it to you.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C_QKsr2W0AEQf9u.jpg

    • birdbrain53

      Looks more like a fence… ;-)

  • Bill D. Burger
  • TJ Barke

    “He will die in jail” Please, FSM, let it come to be…

    • Noxious Resistance

      r’Amen!

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    Shut the fuck up, Donnie. You’re out of your element!

  • Wild Cat

    Yates? Does that mean we have to endure 67,980,765 more “Slouching Toward Bethlehem” references? Because it was Yeats, SHEEPLES!!!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      JOAN DIDION LIBELZZZ!!!!111!!!

  • CogitoErgoBibo
  • Bill D. Burger

    Sally Yates will help Make America Great Again:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C_QQRlLWAAEQzvt.jpg

  • William
  • MynameisBlarney
  • Bill D. Burger

    I just want to give a lil’ shoutout to Martha today. She’s baaaad’! And that’s good.

    https://i.redditmedia.com/IiaTFmHcn9EkwoaOQ6xGoKI4t-3H2dEjdEyz81Kx13I.jpg?w=640&s=19439fb0587e5c8de16f71c6c14a55dc

    • Skaarphy

      Did she learn that in prison?

      • Bill D. Burger

        Trump inspires that in just about everyone who has ever had any contact with him.
        Seems to be automatic.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          It is with me.

      • Aileen

        I’d bet that Martha’s stint in the pen is a big reason why she hates Donald so much. Insider trading is practically a hobby in her circles, except she got caught and had to pay the price, while Donald and plenty of rich old white men like him have done far worse and no one bats an eye.

  • William
  • MynameisBlarney
  • Anna Elizabeth

    Inspiration: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJzdgZ1lOTA

    Music added for Judgment at Nuremberg (1961)

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Suttree

      I’m sure Kislyack has a direct line to Michael Cohen though.

    • so many cheap knock off Russian ties….

      • timpundit

        iswydt

    • timpundit

      Very nice.

    • chicken thief

      No love for Eric and Russian loans?!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Suttree

      He’s #1

  • Yr. Gma

    I don’t want to be a big ole wet blanket, but maybe we should save our celebrations until after Sally’s testimony. It’s more likely what she’ll say will be another nail in the coffin rather than the knockout blow that sends Donnie off to the hoosegow. (I probably could mix up a few more metaphors in there.) I’m remembering Watergate and how it wasn’t one thing that took down Tricky Dick but lots of small things, drip, drip, drip.

    OTOH, if looking forward to Sally makes anyone feel better, then go for it.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      You’re right.

      Thing is though. While Watergate was drip drip dripping, Nixon wasn’t systematically destroying the country.
      Nor was he a foreign agent.
      Time is not on our side here. Trump can’t be removed from office fast enough.

      • Yr. Gma

        That is true.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance
    • artem1s

      Walnuts did say there were a whole centipede of shoes to be dropped. Sally is one of them. And I’m going to savor them all.

  • Suttree

    I am lion, hear me roar. I am stupid shitgibbon, hear me tweet.

  • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’
    • NastyBossetti

      That Obama! Always joking about national security!

    • elviouslyqueer

      “You expected us to take a black guy seriously?”

      • ariel_gee_398

        “I only listen to a black guy when he’s advising me on when to use my 9 iron.”

      • An Outhouse for the Resistance

        That Richard Pryor guy is outrageous! Don’t get me started on Tyler Perry. I love the blacks and they love me.

    • Proud Liberal

      What is wrong with these people? Obama just jokes about the National Security Advisor? Jesus, these people are fucking nuts!

    • ltmcdies

      trust Obama to joke around about national security, Trump WH

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      If they’re gonna lie, can they at least try for something more creative?

      • An Outhouse for the Resistance

        C’mon who doesn’t send a justice department official to josh about spies on your campaign staff. Its a big staff too! Did you see my staff?!

    • wait! what?

      Of course! It went something like this:

      Barack: Knock, knock.
      Donald: Who’s there?
      Barack: Russian spy-bait Mike Flynn. If you don’t shit him out now. Sally Yates will crawl up your ass with soccer cleats and rip him out.

      • Doug Langley

        “HAHAHA, oh Barry, what a thigh slapper!!”

    • anwisok

      0.0 >.< 0.o

      Seriously? SERIOUSLY?

      • NastyBossetti

        As you are no doubt aware, Donald Trump has the very best sense of humor. He knows a joke when he hears one, and when a sitting President warns you not to hire a possible foreign agent as your national security advisor, could that be anything BUT a joke?

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I despise cowardice about all other human weaknesses, and GOPers are all, 100% of them, hate-filled, pants-shitting Cowards.

      • Christopher Story

        That’s one of my personal mottos:
        The only thing I hate worse than thieves and liars are cowards.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          *nods* Exactly.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      At some point someone must have told Trump being President is a difficult and deadly serious job. He though they were joking.

    • Crank Tango

      So firing him in 2014 was just part of a Punk’d episode?

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      Dude, when they said “impressive crotch”, that was in jest.

    • Antonin Dvorak
    • artem1s

      yea, just like the August 8th memo was a joke.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Trump loves to fall back on this one. “I was being sarcastic! I thought someone else was being sarcastic! Even though my voice never changes, you should be able to tell when I am joking! I am joking whenever I get in trouble for saying something!”

      • Noxious Resistance

        “When you look at me like that, that means I’m joking!” – Krusty the Clown

      • rEVOLutionist

        My mother was a narcissist. It’s a classic argument when you call them out for the shitty things they say.

  • elviouslyqueer

    I for one am going to thoroughly enjoy watching Head Cheeto What Thinks He’s In Charge blow every single last gasket in his empty brainpan.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Too bad President Obama didn’t realize exactly how big a baby he was dealing with – though with Assmouth’s proclivity for corruption, he’d have done something impeachable sooner or later, even if he did have a black ex-president constantly advising him not to do the sensible thing, just so he would out of petulance.

  • anwisok

    It’s almost like “Feelgood Monday.” We never have “Feelgood Mondays.” What next, dogs & cats living together?

    https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2014-06/20/9/enhanced/webdr03/enhanced-17782-1403272540-9.jpg

  • cheetojeebus

    I like to think Leon Golub could have crafted some lovely horrific paintings from all of this.
    https://youtu.be/C2wbFf6pc4k

  • fawkedifiknow

    That Sally Yates – I like the cut of her jib. Three reasons: (1) Refusal to enforce Muslim ban. (2) Pants on fire warning about Flynn. (3) Her refusal to back down on request to testify (the White House tried to tell her she couldn’t – and she said, “Eat shit and die, you assholes!”)

  • Bill D. Burger

    OT…but SHIIIIIIIIIIIT! What the hell is happening to MSNBC? They’ve just about completed their race to the bottom. Nichole Wallace, Hugh fucking Hewitt___ and now George Will????

    [MEDIA 05/08/2017 12:18 pm ET
    Conservative Columnist George Will Is Joining MSNBC
    It’s the latest right-leaning hire at a network known for its progressive commentary.
    By Kate Abbey-Lambertz

    NBC has snagged another conservative voice, hiring Washington Post columnist and former Fox News commentator George Will as a contributor for MSNBC and NBC News, Politico reported Monday.

    Will has been a regular guest on MSNBC shows since January after his Fox News contract wasn’t renewed. He officially joins the network ― strongly associated with outspoken progressive personalities like Rachel Maddow and Chris Hayes ― as it faces scrutiny for recently veering in a more conservative direction.]

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/george-will-msnbc_us_5910746ce4b0e7021e99410e?ri1c&ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/68e9d5bbd323defe1fb35388afadd07ee796d2a020a498f70f5af5e6d92ad273.jpg

    • ltmcdies

      apparently they want to lose their fucking audience as well

    • jesterpunk

      If Rachel and Chris Hayes leave I wont have any reason to watch MSNBC ever again.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      I wondering if the conservatives are desperate and work for less. Get 2!, 2!, 2 fucktards for the price of one! Offer only good until mother’s day or they starve to death, whichever come first.

      • jesterpunk

        The new head of MSNBC wants to turn it into Fox light with less sexual harassment but Rachel’s ratings are hurting his plans.

    • It’s the latest right-leaning hire at a network known for its progressive commentary
      erm….aside from like 2 or 3 people…who the fuck knows MSNBC for its progressive commentary?

    • ariel_gee_398

      Apparently “balance” at MSNBC means a balancing thoughtful, intelligent nerd types with idiot hack pundits.

    • chicken thief

      According to InfoWars and Brietbart, George Will is a socialist and part of the far left.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Well, I mean, compared to THOSE guys, he’s at least a Blue Dog Dem.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      They’re obviously just picking names from Chuck Todd’s Rolodex.

    • SeeTrain65

      I guess MSNBC leaned forward so often they needed to shift back to the right to make themselves more comfortable.

  • Opalescent Riddles

    Ask Trump Team, under oath, how classified information got into the newspapers soon after it was explained to W.H. Counsel.

    Ask Trump Team, under oath, why Flynn was “fired” for “lying to them” only after newspapers went live re: his duplicity.

    • Khavrinen

      “Trump Team” “Under Oath”

      Bwa-ha-ha-hah!
      Like oaths of any kind mean anything to anyone on Trump’s Team.

  • Jenny

    Look Donald, Obama fired me because I wanted to go yipee kayii aye on some muslims and Obama is a sissy. You can trust me Donald, I am honest and not a foreign agent. Also I really like how you did your hair today. Looks great. – Mike Flynn

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    If anyone follows Jim Wright on the Book of Faces, he does a good job explaining how the whole clearance process works ( and as an ex Navy intelligence officer, he’s been through it)

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    OT: Monday and still no Evan posts. Must have been a great weekend. WHOA if true!

    • elviouslyqueer

      Apparently Trix gave him the day off. DAMN THOSE SLAVE LABOR LAWS.

  • Treg Brown

    Martha gets it…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3fbcf39d6dc5da862ecb73fd15513c4adca8b1e82155a6c889809bb3aeb59ab5.jpg

    ETA: Should have scrolled down. Looks like I owe Bill a coke. Sorry man.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Oh FFS. Suuuuure. Because Barry Bamz was known for joking about national security.
    https://twitter.com/NBCNews/status/861607784269447168

    • Srsly, don’t hire that guy that I fired, you’ll regret that…
      They took that in jest?
      REALLY?
      Did they just admit out loud that they are complete idiots?

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Or that they consider absolutely anything that Obama could possibly say on any topic to be a joke. Maybe that one.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Again …

      • Al Swearengen

        I guess it beats admitting to being Putin stooges.

    • NastyBossetti

      Look at Obama’s face in that picture. That is his joking face. He’s clearly been having a grand old time, telling Trump all kinds of jokes about the presidency and how easy it is, and how absolutely silly national security is!

    • cheetojeebus

      A joke isn’t fucking cover motherfuckers..
      “I was just joking about black people* eating watermelon all the time” “I was just joking about women holding an aspirin between their knees” “It was all just a joke….”

      *substituted for sake of decency, you can imagine original term

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      In today’s “guess the anonymous Trump admin official,” I’ll say Kellyanne. Hard to be sure with such a short quote, but it sounds like her.

  • jesterpunk

    Since the House came in to the Rocky theme last week can Sally Yates come in with this song?

    https://youtu.be/N8i5NLyXZdc

  • ltmcdies

    Question…am I the only one who’s reigning expectations of what Sally Yates will be able to accomplish in the hearing.

    Don’t get me wrong…I would love to Trump perp marched out the White House sometime today post hearing but these things don’t happen overnight..and the Rethugs on the committee will duck, weave and deflect…mostly deflect.

    I’m thinking…Flynn is going down….with any luck Pence wears it enough to help make him unpalatable as a replacement for Trump.

    what am I missing?

    • Yr. Gma

      I just said something similar down thread.

      • ltmcdies

        great minds think alike….

    • NastyBossetti

      I don’t expect the drip drip drip to become a waterfall today, but I’m still glad something is happening.

    • timpundit

      I don’t expect (but still hopeful) the real fireworks to take effect until democrats control the House or Senate, frankly.

    • SisterArtemis

      No, you’re not the only one. I’d love it she blasted the whole thing wide open, but my guess is she can’t, at least not in an open hearing. What I’m hoping for is a significant couple of chips in the wall hiding whatever’s actually gone down. Those chips can be enlarged over time,etc etc etc.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      There won’t be anything today. The juicy stuff is all classified.
      And I think about it this way:
      You’re going to indict a sitting President for criminal behavior that took place before he took office.
      This is unprecedented in American history (I believe Clinton’s case was civil) and likely to precipitate a constitutional crisis.
      There’s about 50% of the Republican base that will never believe it no matter what the evidence. If you’re a Republican, they’ll blame you.
      No sympathy for Republicans for enabling this situation, but I understand they will want an ironclad case.

    • artem1s

      I think it depends on Flynn really. Yates can only set the table. The difficult (and tedious boring part) will be getting the MSM and to follow the dots from all the shady business stuff back thru the FISA warrants and then on to Flynn who clearly didn’t GAF whether he was a security risk. He’s evidently been skirting the law on this stuff for a while and just doesn’t seem to think any of it applies to him and that he’s never going to have to pay a price for it. I think it’s likely he keeps blabbing even when he gets on the stand. He really does think he can just talk his way out apparently. The panic will come if Flynn decides to obfuscate his way out of it all.

    • TJ Barke

      *Reining

      • ltmcdies

        fixed it….guess I had a “donald” moment

  • chicken thief

    Surprising Trump didn’t listen to Obama – I thought he liked and admired evil dictators.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      In a sense he does. Anything previously done during the Obama administration makes Trumps same actions ethical and OK.

    • georgiaburning

      Trump really turned around on executive orders once he found the pen drawer

  • Anna Elizabeth
    • Yr. Gma

      I see you have used the fine china today.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        You know it, Grrl! XD Ima behind on dishes.

        • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

          Time to buy more.

          • Doug Langley

            Oh, come on. Haven’t you ever heard of dishwasher detergent?

          • Yr. Gma

            The thing is, that stuff doesn’t work very well if there’s no mechanical dish washer.

          • jesterpunk

            Just have the maid do the dishes. If you cant afford one just borrow a million from your parents.

    • cheetojeebus

      mmmmm tacos..[drool]

    • Suttree

      I’m going to the kitchen for my salsa and chips right now. Be right over!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        AWe-sum, I have plenty! :D

    • William

      Tuna salad street tacos? What? You couldn’t find a bus station restroom vending machine that has those things?

      • Yr. Gma

        You need to get out more, William.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          It depends on the tuna. I had empanadas made of canned tuna one time. The cat wouldn’t eat them.

          • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

            YOU MONST… Oh, you said tuna. Never mind.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Gotta be fresh tuna or GTFO!

    • MynameisBlarney

      What’s on top, other than the tomato slices?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Veggie Straws, just a bit of texture.

        • MynameisBlarney

          I bet some bbq slaw would be good on top of that.

          http://southernbite.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/BBQ-Cole-Slaw.jpg

          • Anna Elizabeth

            OOOh, it would! :) Got a recipe?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Basically, it’s Eastern Carolina Style bbq sauce added to slaw.

            http://allrecipes.com/recipe/214982/red-bbq-slaw/

            There are others without ketchup, but this might a good one to tinker with until you get it dialed in to your liking.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Nice, thank you! Bookmarked. I love getting ideas for food, I get into ruts quite often. :)

          • MynameisBlarney

            You’re welcome!
            I love sharing my odd food ideas.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            :) Not odd to me, and I adore Carolina BBQ sauce. The tuna had Apple Cider Vinegar on it already.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Every other restaurant here has tuna/mahi/snapper tacos. Only a few get the toppings right.
            Dry cabbage is not a good topping.

          • Shanzgood

            I would think a light sesame oil based dressing for the cabbage with the tuna/mahi would be nice. Not sure about snapper since I don’t eat it.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I just put Sesame oil on the list, thanx. :)

          • Shanzgood

            There are different kinds. Some very mild and some quite dark and strong.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Oh, OK. I’ll probably look for somewhere in the middle. :) Thank you, I had zero idea.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Snapper is better than any other fish down here in my opinion.
            It doesn’t grill as well though. Especially Mutton Snapper and Hogfish.
            It’s better deep fried, sauteed or baked.

            And I’ve got a great recipe for a dressing like that.
            sesame oil
            soy sauce
            fresh ground ginger
            minced scallions
            rice wine vinegar

            Makes a nice marinade for most fish and poultry too.

          • Shanzgood

            Nice!

          • MynameisBlarney

            Also, too; very thinly slice cucumbers become addictive when pickled in that stuff.

          • Shanzgood

            I’m dying here! I need to go to the store now….

          • Bad Tom

            That dressing sounds FABULOUS!

          • MynameisBlarney

            It really is.
            Wish I had thought of it.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Snapper and grouper are my two favorites.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Not a big fan of grouper.
            When I worked at a restaurant here I was the fish cleaner/prep guy for a while, and the grouper were loaded with parasites quite often.
            Had to scoop them out with a melon-baller.

          • Shanzgood

            So I guess I’m just having salad for dinner.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Hehe…sorry.

    • jodyleek

      Those look tasty but wouldn’t they have been even tastier with, say, canned clams?!?

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      You have tacos? I kinda hate you right now.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        you can have some…

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Awwww! I love my liberal friends! We can all just share our stuff.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Yiss! ~hugs~

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            ~hugs~

    • chicken thief

      Served with guacamole made with green peas?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        No, Ima out of peas. XD I just hate buying cheap bread, but I was too tired and hot to bake, so I bought little tortillas.

  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

    Others have made this point in the unallowed comments, but I really want the MSM to start correcting the record. Flynn was not fired when the WH found out that he lied to Pence; he was fired when the media found out that Pence knew about the lie but didn’t do anything about it. This alone should keep Pence from EVER becoming POTUS.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Pence is the fruit of a poisoned tree, anyway. If Drumpf committed treason by colluding with Russia then he’s illegitimate same as drumpf is. Of course that does leave us with “president” paul ryan. BRB, throwing up

      • suziq

        Well, we have some hope that we can flip the house in 2018. Speaker Pelosi will be next in line, and since the drip drip drip will take a long time it might just work out? I can dream can’t I?

  • calliecallie

    What I am going to enjoy most about this – and I hope its a well-paced drip, drip, drip of hearings all summer like Watergate – is watching the smug Republicans around me squirm uncomfortably as it become clear what traitors these people are. And then the perp walks, of course.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Don’t count on it. From what I’ve been hearing around the water cooler, the Rep voters are prepared to decry this as fake, unimportant, and no big deal. They’re going to fall back on the usual blame-everyone-except-a-republican shtick. SSDD

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I wish I had your faith in this system. I don’t see the Dept. of Justice doing anything on this.

  • chascates

    Sean Spicer on now saying Obama didn’t like Flynn because Flynn called him out for his failing Syrian policies. Plus, why didn’t Obama take away his clearance if he didn’t trust him?

    • ltmcdies

      isn’t firing the man also removing his security clearance….

      • britishvoiceman

        No, but it is removing his access to classified material.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Nice try, Spicey, but deflection isn’t going to make this shit go away.

    • jesterpunk

      So now they admit Obama fired him but still blame him for them not vetting him before he was a speaker at the RNC and Trump’s national security advisor?

      • Turgid Love Skwerl

        When in doubt, throw the blame card out!

    • Anna Rompage

      From what I’ve read, Flynn’s clearance was revoked when he was fired in 2014, and then he was given basic security clearance, by the Obama admin for being part of Trump’s campaign.

      He was not vetted by the Obama admin for his official role as National Security Advisor, which that level of clearance would allow him to access all US secrets.

    • Proud Liberal

      Presidents don’t give or take security clearances. The State Department does.

      https://www.state.gov/m/ds/clearances/c10978.htm

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Thank you- so tired of that particular lie

      • Bad Tom

        The State Department Trump unfunded.

    • beingreleased

      Read this thread:
      https://twitter.com/JoyAnnReid/status/861625725039894533

      One important point is that having clearance is different from having access. Because Flynn didn’t have a job that required access (until he started working for Trump), he didn’t have access to any classified material ever though he had clearance. Clearance doesn’t mean you can go in whenever you want and read classified stuff.

    • snigsy

      This morning I got all ragey about the Smirkin’ (rhymes with ‘Mercan) Ryan post, but Aniswok got my blood pressure down with pics of sweet animals. Now it’s early afternoon and my rage-o-meter is soaring again. Fucking hell, America? How do you get through each day of all this lying shit???

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I had to walk away from the post about the scientists earlier. Just . . . rage-strokes ain’t good for me.

    • SeeTrain65

      He’s doing an awful lot of work defending a complete failure while bad-mouthing the person who rid us of that failure in the first place.

  • ltmcdies

    so this is a thing going around on my tweeterfeed….claim in WH had a request for the GOP to cancel some hearing that’s going today

    https://twitter.com/funder/status/861628362082615296

    • jesterpunk

      Isnt that illegal?

      • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

        Obstruction of justice, I’d think.

        But of course, IOKIYAR.

        • Suttree

          Nunes canceled the last hearing for no reason.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Oh there were reasons alright.
            None of them good.

          • Suttree

            That is probably why he recused himself. No other choice after that move.

          • Bad Tom

            And Nunes is out.

        • HooverVilles

          IOKiffYAR
          iff = if and only if

    • Yr. Gma

      Of course they did.

    • Bill D. Burger

      If so they would be on some very shaky legal ground.

    • wait! what?

      They’re afraid she’ll talk about that one time Superman was a communist.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ad512457ff79e4398740b394f49f443611f14cf828347fdebbfe70b10e8d2bd0.png

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        How did he even get American citizenship, anyway? It’s not like he came here legally! DEPORT.

        • wait! what?

          …and it’s not like he came from money…

        • Bad Tom

          YOU arrest Superman.

          • Shanzgood

            HAHAHAHAHA!!!

            Best thing I’ve seen today!

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            I don’t want to arrest him so much as make it so hard for him to be here that he’ll self-deport. -Mittens

          • Bad Tom

            Yes, yes. Send Mittens in. He will *something* *something* proceed, Governor, and then Superman will leave.

          • SeeTrain65

            Use the Kryptonite cuffs.

          • Bad Tom

            That would work.
            ——-
            Does Superman have lawyers? Is using Kryptonite to deport him cruel and unusual? Just wondering.

    • ariel_gee_398

      While it doesn’t do much to redress the cosmic balance, I gotta say that these self-professed paragons of masculinity cowering because they’re afraid of a lady really brings a smile to my face.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Ms. Yates hasn’t even had time to put her Persisting Panties on for chrissakes!!!

        • Daisyacutler

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !sp310c:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. Follow this link for more information
          !sp310c:
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      • chimichanga

        How can I say this? what a bunch of cowards. I’d say pussies, but they’re no good enough for that appellation.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Crap. I’d love names on which Senators were contacted. Not that we’ll get them or any statements from them on how inappropriate that is. Which means we’ll be left with anonymous (but still verified) reports. Or in Trump’s world: Fake news.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I don’t think Trump gets the concept of obstruction of justice. It’s not like shredding papers required for a civil lawsuit deposition. One of his attorneys should explain it to him soon.

      • Suttree

        Or not!

    • Bad Tom

      The White House has SUCH PULL with the Congress, they MUST do whatever he requests.
      ——-
      Trump ain’t no Lyndon Baines Johnson. If LBJ wanted something done in Congress, he knew how to twist arms, because he had the goods on everyone.

      In Trump’s case, everyone has the goods on him.

  • You remember those immigrants accused of rape that Trump made such play about during the election?
    https://twitter.com/washingtonpost/status/860501270225932288

    • TJ Barke

      He’ll still call for them to be killed, like the central park 5.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Of course.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        And the Dave Clark 5, PBUT.

      • miss_grundy

        And he still hasn’t apologized to the Central Park 5 for the ads he took out demanding that they be executed. Those five guys should have filed lawsuits against him.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Spicer did not really get the memo about the “just joking” defense.
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/861632440271421440

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Dickweed.

      • efoveks

        It’s the Spice of life!™

        • Anna Elizabeth

          XD

        • Anna Elizabeth

          XD Spicy will be looking for a new job soon, maybe Ronco is hiring?

    • YoBunnyBunny

      In short: Obama wasn’t a fan, so we decided to hire Flynn anyways because FUCK OBAMA!!!11!!!

      • “M”

        It really makes them look like the emotional eight-year-olds they are, doesn’t it?

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      “Barry made it known, in that joking way that he has, that we shouldn’t hire Flynn. It’s all in the inflection! PERIOD!”

    • Bill D. Burger

      Babble Spicey has just give a new add to the Trump House of Lies…..It’s the “Just Kidding Lie.”

      “Just kidding” is the last refuge of an uber liar caught with no excuses left.

      https://www.wititudes.com/wp-content/uploads/out-of-alll-the-lies-i-have-told-just-kidding-is-my-favorite-ecard.jpg

      • The Wanderer

        AIYEE! I’ll be seeing that face in my nightmares . . . oh, wait, I already do.

    • Shoto

      So Spicey is resorting to the always-reliable “Thanks, Obama” defense. Way to go, Spicey.

    • UnsaltedSinner
      • Naytch

        Ugh, The Indigo Girls lost to those no-talent hacks for Best New Band at the Grammys that year 😒

    • Bad Tom

      Not only by telling Trump, but also by FIRING Flynn’s ass.

  • goonemeritus

    Look every story has two sides, Trump side will need to be translated from the original Russian, but it is still a side.

    • beingreleased

      “Look Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie, and one to listen.”
      — Homer Simpson

    • Bad Tom

      A lying, deceitful side, but a side nonetheless.

  • Anna Rompage

    Seeing that ex-general David Betrayus was on the short list to replace Flynn, is all we need to know about Donad’s seriousness when it comes to appointing people in sensitive security positions…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Right. People who know how to keep from getting compromised. Isn’t that like Rule #1 of Security Club?

      • “M”

        You mean the one in Mar-A-Lago?

        Where $200K buys you a peek on your phone at where the missiles are going to go next?

    • HooverVilles

      ^^^^THIS^^^^

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Really? They have no idea how to just shit the hell up.

    “I didn’t eat that cookie!” They say, apropos of nothing, confirming they did indeed eat the cookie.

    It’s not the corruption so much as it is the sheer stupidity of them.

    So, we’re calling it.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e6cc213ef6040b24672180a6a90abf5928989357401db8fa92f07bcec9d6d9f0.jpg

    • Bad Tom

      We weren’t even asking about cookies.
      But now we see the cookie jar has been robbed.
      So now we are taking about the cookies you just admitted you stole.

      • Turgid Love Skwerl

        DERPORT!

        • efoveks

          Ah, that works on so many levels!

          Well played, Skwerl!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        This is to say

        I have eaten
        the cookies
        that were in
        the breakroom

        and which had
        your name
        on the
        sealed package.

        So what, fuck
        you, I’m sending
        nazis to your house.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Oh, I think it’s gone even farther than that. They’ll tell you they aren’t eating the cookie even as they take a big bite and spray you with crumbs.

    • HooverVilles

      Now that is definitely a moar accurater version of that meme.

  • Oh you remember when an actual adult was recruited to replace Flynn as National Security Advisor?

    Seems the WH doesn’t like him
    https://twitter.com/Charlesthornt/status/861635107253342208

    • jesterpunk
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Not surprising. Integrity is a pre-existing condition of which he is not fond.

      • miss_grundy

        He can’t spell the word and doesn’t know what it means.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      “No one is allowed to be more popular than me, General. I’m sorry but you have to go.”

    • therblig

      so who hates him, president bannon or president kushner?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I’m going to guess President Bannon, since McMasters is an actual military historian.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        And who has been baiting McMaster?

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Just. So much ouch. 😶

      • The report says Bannon

      • HooverVilles

        Both!

    • YoBunnyBunny

      This professional military officer has failed to read the president —
      by not giving him a chance to ask questions during briefings, at times
      even lecturing Trump.

      Oh, to be a fly on that wall. I wonder what McMaster had to lecture him about? I’m guessing all the lectures started with “That’s not how it works, actually…”

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I’m picturing Rommel, shaking his head sadly at the dusty corpse of Patton and saying “You didn’t read my book, did you.”

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        I’m pretty sure if a 3-star general were to actually “lecture” him, it would be akin to watching him ream out a butterbar.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          The USMC makes officers Col and above read his doctoral thesis about not letting politicians order the military to do stupid shit for political reasons. This should have served as a red flag to the stupid shit for political reasons faction in the administration, which is to say all of them.

          • YoBunnyBunny

            This administration just loves ignoring red flags, amiright? They’ll probably blame Obama for this shit show too somehow.

      • HooverVilles

        B-b-but, “the Donald” knows military strateegery better than them thar generals dontcha know!

    • Turgid Love Skwerl

      Guess which general never learned to be a sycophantic kiss-ass?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Over the weekend, McMaster did not accompany Trump to meet with Australia’s prime minister; the outgoing deputy national security adviser, K.T. McFarland, attended instead.

        A woman who literally accused Hillary Clinton of having black helicopters buzz her private island off the Hamptons.

    • wait! what?

      I think Donald got him confused with the general who sells car insurance and the mustache was a deal breaker.

    • Bad Tom

      General McMaster’s hair was not good enough.
      Seriously, I think that was the reason.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • wait! what?

    Clarification. Barack STARTED the conversation about Mike Flynn with a joke.

    “Donald, did you know Darth Vader was Jewish?”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/42ccc53e82b922ef26cc06b33f4ad67fbe7fdccaead3e0b5cdab393c21d3a70b.jpg

    • Khavrinen

      Don’t start with jokes! tRump didn’t even get Dubya’s joke about the Oval Office not having corners. Anyone who’s not up to the “sophisticated humor” of George W. Bush shouldn’t have to deal with jokes AT ALL.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Are those supposed to be tweets or turds? (It can be both.)

  • Shoto

    What are the chances that wingnut Republicans on the committee will focus their line of questioning on “But the leakz!!,” rather than asking about, y’know, Flynn’s relationship with Russian kleptocrat gangsters? If they do go in that direction, I might be forced to pull an Elvis on the electro-picture box.

    http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kxypq3mCWF1qa8ibao1_500.jpg

  • efoveks

    If all this terrible talk about Flynn came after Sally Yates talked to WH council, it stands to reason that maybe, just maybe, the leaky mcleaker was the WH council…

    nah, who am I kidding? Trump only hires the best, whatever the fuck that means.

    • jesterpunk

      Has anyone asked John Baron or John Miller about the leaks?

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Like with everything else he says, it means he doesn’t.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        “I stand by nothing”. His own words.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      You know who else had a leaky WH council?

    • Bad Tom

      Especially given that Yates knew that stuff before she talked to the WH counsel, it seems it was the lawyer with the loose lips.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    In unrelated new of stupid white celebrities not knowing reality from fiction, Piers Morgan think James Bond is a real man.

    • jesterpunk
      • Bad Tom

        Yeah, but HE owns his own working spaceship.
        Just sayin’.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Yeah, well, he also thinks Arsenal is a real football team, so…

    • chicken thief

      As a kid I knew a guy named James Bond. For realz. He drove a 440 GTX with 007 on the front license plate.

      • Suttree

        I know a gut named James Kirk.Not sure about his middle initial though.

    • chortlingdingo

      Dear lord, isn’t he British?

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Lately he’s sounding more British adjacent.

        • Internet Hitler

          Britishish

      • miss_grundy

        More British tabloid than British newspaper-of-record.

    • I think it’s Piers and there have been several people claiming James Bond was based on a single real character, which is not true

      It is the same as the claim that Sherlock Holmes was a real character

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Hell, James Bond wasn’t even written by a real man.

    • Pre-Existing CatCafe

      I’m surprised he doesn’t think he’s based on himself!
      Which suddenly reminded me–years ago, our neighbors in the apartment across the hall were an anthropologist and his wife. The anthropologist was literally the dullest, slowest-talking person I have ever met in my life, and we always tried to avoid him in the entryway if we saw him. One day I’d failed and we were slow-chatting, and he told me they’d come and talked to him as some kind of background research for the then-new movie I AM AN OLD SO FUCK ME, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and he seriously told me that therefore Indiana Jones was based on him.

    • miss_grundy

      No, but the guy who wrote the novels was. Piers Morgan is an overpaid imbecile.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Needs moar straightjacket.

  • Bill D. Burger

    We now have our orders!

    http://dr35ey0x3otoq.cloudfront.net/uploads/default/original/3X/f/0/f052bc0054b4d6ed320e4c144645e96530757f8e.png

    Damn! The orange fucker’s really come unhinged. ALL CAPS! rotfl

    • ltmcdies

      oye…

      Donald…your cult will watch FOX….the rest of planet would really like it if you would STFU on twitter.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Is this real/ Of course it is, I should stop asking that.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        I don’t think even he is shameless enough to include the hashtag #ivankaishot.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          But would it surprise you if he did? Dude’s several springs short of a pinball machine.

      • Bill D. Burger

        No…I’m sorry. I should add j/k. But it does ring true and these days it’s hard to tell.

        http://img0.joyreactor.com/pics/post/demotivation-posters-auto-315868.jpeg

        • Red Bird Ω

          Hey, it’s been a while since we’ve had a nice pedobear meme. Thanks.

    • HooverVilles

      FOX NEWS: Trumps’ personal megaphonic noise and propaganda generator.
      Bigly SAD!

    • chicken thief

      #ivankaishot?! WTF, dad… Jared is a cuck if he doesn’t punch your fucking lights out.

      • Chris

        This isn’t real is it? Please tell me this isn’t real.

        • chicken thief

          Who knows with that clown? I’ve lost all ability to accurately predict whether an article is the NYT or the Onion.

    • Pre-Existing CatCafe

      He’s turning into a “Downfall” parody! How can people watch this and STILL SUPPORT HIM????

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack
  • ken_kukec

    How long ’til Mike Flynn shows up at the Moscow airport seeking asylum?

    Maybe the SVR can put him up in one of those dachas the KGB used to use for Kim Philby, Guy Burgess, and the other Cambridge Fivers.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      SPOILER ALERT:
      More likely to turn out like Martha in The Americans.

      • miss_grundy

        She didn’t look terribly happy in the last week’s episode.

    • Suttree

      I doubt they give a fuck. They probably have all of the info they needed from him. He can give them no future info. He’s burnt.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        there’s alway the Ecuadorian embassy in London

        • Suttree

          I hope he has cash moniez!

      • ken_kukec

        The KGB wasn’t all that generous with the Cambridge Five either. Kim Philby defected thinking he was a KGB colonel; turns out, he was just another Ivan Q. Public.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Before it’s all over, I think most of them will defect to Russia and get a steady gig on RT.

      • just_jim

        More likely a polonium appetizer.

  • mikejaz2

    Until Republiturds start getting all arrested and placed in the stocks and stuff, I don’t care.

  • Bill D. Burger

    We have a friend who teaches elementary school. She said as she walked by one classroom and saw the presidents’ pics posted above the boards, she glanced and Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, Roosevelt, Kennedy……and then saw Trump’s pic had been added. She said her knees almost buckled and she lost her breath at the thought of him being there.
    I understood completely.

    http://dr35ey0x3otoq.cloudfront.net/uploads/default/optimized/3X/e/d/ed05527e6491d823b73196a4aa9289ba1b951604_1_366x500.png

    • William
      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Yeah, no. If for no other reason, I will never forgive 45 for that.

        • Shanzgood

          I’m still kinda peeved about all the rapey stuff.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Yeah, I am too. I just meant if that was all he’d done wrong, I still would never forgive him.

          • Shanzgood

            Ah, I see what you mean now.

            I should probably not be posting today.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Well…comments aren’t allowed anyway, sooooo….

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Nah! You stop posting today, we’d miss ya.

          • Shanzgood

            I’m cranky because I feel like I should be doing something to find out about baconzgood’s release papers. He’s working so he can’t chase it down himself. He told me not to call the lady at County again “because that’ll just make it worse” and I can’t call his attorney because he’s in court today. Maybe I should call his mom and see if she knows….augh…

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Maybe you should call his mom. I hope baconz is okay, considering what he’s going through right now.

          • Shanzgood

            His mom doesn’t know anything yet and says Goodwill won’t release that information. I’m going to try anyway.

          • Paul

            Call Goodwill. Fuck them. Ask those people.

          • Shanzgood

            Nobody there knows anything. Besides, even if they do know, they lie. One guy didn’t get released until after midnight when the shift changed. His release orders had been there since early afternoon but the guy on duty didn’t let him know.

          • Paul

            Oh, FFS!!! I looked up both “incompetent” and “malicious” in the dictionary and a picture of the Goodwill logo appeared next to each entry. Hang in there Shan. We are all pulling for you.

          • efoveks

            It’s Monday. Mondays are always a bit of a rude shock. Posting helps purge the Monday Blues.

          • cmd resistor

            Hideous enough that he did it, but on top of that, pretended he hadn’t, also, too. And, people believed him.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            I remember that part vividly. People kept telling me that I hadn’t seen what I actually saw and that the “media” has somehow edited it. Really? They edited the live damned feed I saw it on? How does that work?

          • cmd resistor

            My wingnut aunt posted some you tube video which she claims demonstrates clearly that he did not do it. She posts lots of crazy stuff on FB and like most of it, I didn’t watch it. None of his excuses would pass any decent mom shit-sensor tests.

          • Chris

            Those people didn’t really believe it, they just didn’t care.

          • William

            Got into a political argument with a co-worker. I referred to the Trump, Billy Bush exchange then I said “I’ve arrested people for less than that….a LOT less”. He responded “can’t you people take a joke”. I responded . “Sexual Assault is NEVER funny”. The upside is that particular person has avoided any and all contact with me since January….so there’s that.

          • YoBunnyBunny

            He went to his “Safe Space” then?

          • William

            If by Fox news and Limbaugh you mean “safe place”, then yes.

          • miss_grundy

            Lucky you. You do not need to have that person anywhere near you.

        • Pre-Existing CatCafe

          I myself will also never forgive the assholes who still voted for him after that.

          • Chris

            You and me both!

          • Buzz1313

            Every time I see a Trump bumper sticker I have to refrain from bricking car windows.

          • Pre-Existing CatCafe

            I know, me too!

          • Tom Piper

            I’ve been looking at a way to put machine guns or missiles in the retractable headlights like James Bond and just shoot or blow them up.

    • miss_grundy

      From the great beyond, they must all be watching and saying “Gah! How stupid are these people?”

  • In fairness, Yates is biased against Trump and other criminals, like his advisors.

    • William

      Exactly. My guess is she will spout a bunch of left leaning facts.

      • Pre-Existing CatCafe

        She has an obvious agenda to promote the truth, which is fake, everyone knows that.

      • Noxious Resistance

        “It is a well known fact that reality has liberal bias”
        – Stephen Colbert, neo-con pundit

        • britishvoiceman

          Comedian who played a neo-con pundit for years on his Comedy Central show “The Colbert Report” – a portrayal that many on the right thought was real.

    • Meccalopolis

      You know how career prosecutors get

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    FWIW, I’m assuming that nothing much will happen after this hearing. Dolt 45 will be in office at least until 2019, when the repiles lose control of congress. Flynn may go to prison and that will be well deserved, but for heaven’s sakes, we can’t expect this congress to impeach one of their own. Even if Sally Yates testifies that she heard Dolt 45 on the phone telling Putin he was going to lift the sanctions in exchange for him flipping the election, the reptiles will call it fake news.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      “Librul lies! Sally Yates is just a butthurt librul! Fake Nuwz!”

      Yeah, we know it’ll go down like that, sadly.

      • William
        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          A really credible source named John Miller? Asking for John Barron.

        • Steely_Fan

          “I have people that actually have been studying it and they cannot believe what they’re finding,” Trump told host Meredith Vieira.
          “You have people now down there searching, I mean in Hawaii?” she asked.
          “Absolutely,” he replied. “And they cannot believe what they’re finding.”

          ~Drumpf, April 2011

          • Internet Hitler

            There is a pineapple house! And you’ll never believe who lives there!

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Is he… porous?

          • Noxious Resistance

            It’s true! Chump’s little gnomes couldn’t believe were finding absolutely nothing!

          • miss_grundy

            What they couldn’t believe what they were finding was: a) that Orangina would actually pay them for a free trip to Hawaii and b) that Bamz was born in Hawaii after it became a state. I wonder how much money the investigators conned this asshat out of and did he really pay the bill.

    • Red Bird Ω

      I don’t know. I’m a natural born cynic but this behavior is giving me a tingle in my pants.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Has anyone seen Kellyanne or Steve Bannon? How close to DC can a Russian submarine come to pick them up?

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Shitting his britches? Now we know why Ted Nugent visited the WH the other day…

    • miss_grundy

      He was probably giving him advice on how to do it.

  • wait! what?

    I wonder if North Korea is scared? Who else would Donald bomb to distract the public?

    • Paperless Tiger

      Not Iraq again.

  • Marceline

    I wonder if Yates is going to show up to this thing dressed as Wonder Woman or Black Widow.

    • Shanzgood

      Oooh, Black Widow!

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      A white suit goes well with a golden lasso.

    • Chris

      She is in purple. As a Clue fan: Mrs. Plum, in the Senate Hearing Room, with the truth,.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Remember, Wonkers, it’s Sally Yates, Former Acting Attorney General and a Goddamn American Hero™ ®.

  • William
    • MizzMazz

      I knew it was just a matter of time until someone made this. The original kid was cute. Now someone ‘shop in a phone in one hand, and ketchup running down his chin.

  • Internet Hitler

    Glad Rebecky picked up on how Obama should’ve known Trump would do the opposite of anything he said. Obama must have warned him about the entire cabinet.

    “we assume we will be liveblogging it at you, even though we’re not sure that’s even legal.)”

    This might be a violation of Major League Baseball rules.

    • efoveks

      Who can say, since Comments Are Not Allowed?

  • Marla

    Is Flynn going to prison? If so, you’re not far behind, Grumpy Trumpy.

  • miss_grundy

    Not only should Orangina go to prison but he should forfeit all the money he has made in Russia, since it appears he has been acting as its agent for the past twenty years.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend
  • CripesAmighty

    Ok, just got back from a popcorn run. Is this our Sally Yates peanut gallery *crunch, crunch*?

  • khanurik

    Ok, I’m a Christian by faith and I hate to cast aspersions about other folks because of the whole “glass house” thing, but I just have to think that maybe Pence (the “gays-hatin’, beatin’- the- breast-in- the- public-square-type of “Christian”) might have been slightly fudging (can I say around Mike? – especially when his wife isn’t present) the facts here (i.e., I’m pretty sure he fucking lied about the whole affair)

    • William

      Pence is a shithead. I learned everything I need to know about him the moment he said he was going to model his vice presidency after Cheney. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0b5b8c0e8fc393976b45ba95f16d8d6d02eb58add9791ff7c04ceb40a379b380.jpg

      • Me not sure

        Except for the “pro gay marriage because I have a lesbian daughter” part?

    • Buzz1313

      Pence totally knows. Dude’s an ass. If Pence’s hands were clean, he’d have pushed Trump down the steps by now.

    • whitroth

      Can you cast dispersions, y’know, sprinkle water on ’em? They might melt, you know….

    • TundraGrifter

      I gave up trying to cast aspersions. No matter how many times I tried, and after making model after model, they just never came out looking good at all!

  • whitroth

    Here we go again: with both Yates and Susan Rice, Trumpolini should have RUN from both as fast as possible, and buried them as deeply as possible… but he clearly is utterly unable to think through an entire thought.

    • Michael Loraine

      He still hasn’t realized that some women are really smart and able to kick his ass.

      • britishvoiceman

        Despite the obvious fact that Hillary Clinton won all three debates and the popular vote.

  • Subliberal

    It truly pains me to say this, Rebecca, because you should know better, but the word you are looking for is “counselor”, which is a bar-admitted lawyer/advisor (“consiglioni”), which is who sits in the ‘Office of the White House Counsel’. On the other hand, a “council” is a buncha people sitting around to no particular purpose other than drawing a salary (e.g., the ‘UN Security Council’).

    Words matter.

    • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

      So do quotation marks, oh ‘wise’ one.

    • Perkniticky

      Tell that to the president. He has the best words.

    • redblack

      “to no particular purpose?” what kind of talk is that?

  • Juan de Fuca

    Ask Donald Trump, under oath, if the Russian’s bailed him out when he was one bad move away from declaring personal bankruptcy despite his rich father leaving him an empire.

  • Scooby

    Flynn is Obamas fault but I’ll take credit for Tom Dalys win.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    TPM:
    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/trump-insists-james-clapper-sally-yates-testimony-old-news


    Trump claimed that Clapper just “reiterated what everybody, including the fake media already knows.” He also said that Yates “made the fake media extremely unhappy” by saying “nothing but old news” in her testimony.

    Yates made headlines by testifying that she warned the White House that Trump’s former national security adviser Michael Flynn could be “compromised with respect to the Russians” as a result of his “underlying conduct.” …

    Are the walls closing in? Are you starting to think that maybe they’re on to you? Nah. No way. You’re a smart guy. The best brains! The BEST!

    No way these haters can touch you! Well, maybe they know some stuff, but they can’t touch you!

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  • azeyote

    Obama only said not to hire Flynn so that Trump would –

  • Tom Piper

    I don’t know Sally Yates personally but since she’s an Atlanta native I do know of her and her family. A long line of top judges and lawyers.

    It felt good to see a smart Southern lady rip the Republicans a new one with that Southern drawl and charm.

    On another note, Trump and Flynn led chants of “lock her up” and now they’re facing the possibility of dying in prison. God I love Karma.

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