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The Yoogest Story Ever Told
The similarity is uncanny

Pardon us, but we must take a moment to say LMAO!

On Thursday, with much fanfare, Donald Trump gathered a bunch of his favorite religious right idiots in the Rose Garden for the National Day Of Prayer, so he could share his favorite prayer from when he was a child, which is called “God Bless All The Pussy.” He also signed a big exciting “religious freedom” executive order, to revoke the Obama policy of feeding Christian cake bakers to gay lions. Except for the executive order was muy bullshit, intended to make the frothing wingnuts feel like Trump cared about them, when the truth was just that he was conning them like he has been from the beginning. (For a full explanation of the order, including dick jokes, click here!)

At the time the ACLU and other organizations were like “We will See You Next Tuesday, IN COURT!” But apparently they hadn’t read the text of the order yet, because late Thursday, the ACLU changed its mind and was like “LOL we will not see you in court! Your order is too dumb and stupid for that! We will watch Maury and order pizza instead!”

OMG LOL. The Muslim bans? Those are a thing. This is not a thing.

The Hill has quotes from ACLU director Anthony Romero:

“Today’s executive order signing was an elaborate photo-op with no discernible policy outcome,” ACLU director Anthony Romero said in a statement.

“After careful review of the order’s text we have determined that the order does not meaningfully alter the ability of religious institutions or individuals to intervene in the political process. The order portends, but does not yet do harm to the provision of reproductive health services,” Romero added.

Romero also addressed the part about the Johnson Amendment, which prohibits tax-exempt groups like churches from engaging in overt political activity:

“President Trump’s prior assertion that he wished to ‘totally destroy’ the Johnson Amendment with this order has proven to be a textbook case of ‘fake news,’” Romero said. […]

“What President Trump did … was merely provide a faux sop to religious conservatives and kick the can down the road on religious exemptions on reproductive health care services.”

FAKE NEWS! In short, maybe one day this executive order might have some effect on something, but as of now, it’s just Trump patting his religious right supporters on their dumb little heads with his little bitty paws. Therefore, the ACLU has a lot of Netflix to catch up on, so they will BRB.

It’s funny because, with this executive order, Trump is actually acting like a normal Republican. For YEARS, Republicans have shimmied up to religious conservatives on the campaign trail, jamming their G-spots with sweet talk about how they’re going to fuck the gays and the ladies for Jesus. But once in office, they don’t throw that much red meat at the wingnuts’ faces, and instead just govern for the benefit of the very wealthy.

Why, Donald Trump is being a common George W. Bush!

When will the religious right understand that they were, are, and always will be nothing more than useful idiots for the GOP? The answer is “never,” because they are very stupid.

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[The Hill]

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