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Somebody should tell that Lincoln guy it was two houses all along.

Thank goodness Donald Trump has done his part to get America’s schoolchildren thinking about the question that nobody ever asks: Why did the Civil War happen? (Answer: Because Andrew Jackson didn’t stop it.) So in her continuing mission of always sounding like that one Libertarian kid at the dorm party who’ll stay up til three in the morning explaining why Disney cartoons are really about the Free Market, bloggeress Megan McArdle is doing some Serious Thinking about the Civil War and why the North invaded a foreign country to free the slaves:

So, a couple things here. First up, there’s that characterization of the Confederacy, which set off Wonkette Alumnus Jesse Taylor, among others:

The past is another country — the Confederacy was not. Or at least not a legitimate one if you want to move past wordplay. The whole point was that while the war was indeed caused by slavery, and the South’s secession to preserve it, the immediate cause of the North’s going to war was to preserve the Union — as we are constantly reminded, of course, by people who insist slavery was incidental to why the war happened. Seriously, this is not really that hard. Apart from diehard abolitionists, few in the North were marching off to battle to free the slaves, but the South was definitely fighting to keep them. Also, several others in the thread said they seemed to remember something about the South attacking a fort, or Sumter like that.

McArdle thinks she’s got that covered:

We’re more than a little skeptical of the claim that nationalism and the desire to bring the rebels to heel was insufficient motivation for Union troops. It certainly played well in musical propaganda, after all. While “The Battle Cry of Freedom” does at least mention slavery, the refrain is all about Union and vanquishing Johnny Reb:

The Union forever! Hurrah, boys, hurrah!
Down with the traitor, up with the star;
While we rally round the flag, boys, rally once again,
Shouting the battle cry of freedom!

We can only say Pffft! to the very notion that nationalism wasn’t a big deal prior to the Civil War; Francis Scott Key seems to have done fairly well with a little poem that was just a bunch of questions during a fire, as Laurie Anderson put it. And McArdle herself, once someone asked her outright what she thought the real motivation for Union soldiers could have been, briefly set aside her initial claim that the North went to war out of altruism:

But then she was right back to wondering why it is that the North came to see slaves — a group of outsiders — as a valid reason for going to war.

Honestly, while the conversation is sort of interesting, it seems awfully divorced from contemporary accounts of the war. Lincoln famously — or infamously — said he’d allow slavery to continue if it would preserve the Union, which seems not to play much of a role in the rest of McArdle’s Twitterpation.

Still, at least McArdle is willing to take an absolute moral stand against slavery, which is certainly admirable, however completely ahistorical it may be:

Oh, that Lincoln. Nice guy, but it’s not like his opinion mattered. Still, it really makes you wonder:

Tariffs. It was all about tariffs. Discuss amongst yourselves.

Yr Wonkette loves a good argument. Please click the “Donate” linky below and we’ll try not to wander into getting-hit-on-the-head lessons instead. Also, hi Jesse! We miss you!

[Megan McArdle on Twitter]

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  • msanthropesmr

    How are these people allowed to speak?

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      How did these people ever learn to speak?

    • chortlingdingo

      Don’t worry, when net neutrality goes away, a lot of them probably won’t be able to afford internet access to twitter.

      • SkinlessGenderlessMan

        Oh, they will be able to access it, but it will take most of the afternoon for those 140 characters to ooze out of their “basic connection” phones and routers. Those with “Platinum Plans” will be able to post faster than they can think.

        Just like now….

    • Crystalclear12

      Well, I blame Facebook. They started it.

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        I blame Steve Jobs. Thanks to slide screens, every moron that couldn’t previously operate a computer is now vomiting their beliefs online.

        • SkinlessGenderlessMan

          Me too! Me too!!!

        • Mark Lungo

          I blame the morons for being morons in the first place.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Myspace libulz!!1!

      • WotsAllThisThen

        The Lincoln-Douglas AMA started amicably enough, but quickly deteriorated.

        • FlownΩver

          And Frederick is only now being recognized for his valuable role.

    • arglebargle

      Hey, it’s a free country. At least for another month or so.

    • SkinlessGenderlessMan

      Allowed to speak? Why not?

      Able to think critically beforehand? Demonstrably not as strong a talent as the speaking thingy……

    • Msgr_MΩment

      How are they able to survive a shower without drowning?

      • willi0000000

        not curious enough to look up?

  • msanthropesmr

    A morally neutral superleader. Linkler a combination of Abraham Lincoln and Adolf Hitler.

  • msanthropesmr

    I’m stupid. How can I get a national audience? Only two people came to hear my peer edited paper on the effect of single gender intervention or interest in STEM and STEM careers.

  • msanthropesmr

    It’s better to be thought a fool than to tweet about something and prove it to the world.

    • BJW

      Too bad that thought never enters Donnie’s mind.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    The War of Northern Aggression Between the States was fought, as any fool knows, because of a misunderstanding that arose during a tea party in a Virginia farmhouse in 1860. Miss Dottie Lawrence’s compliments regarding the shade of Miss Nellie Lampshade’s (a visiting Pennsylvania resident’s) petticoats was taken as snide and, well, things simply escalated from theah.

  • mrFawkes

    “What caused the Civil War?”

    Bannon: The Jews!

    Sessions: The blacks!

    Pence: No! It was the gays!

    DeVos: Guys, it was definitely bears.

    McArdle: My favorite color is turnip.

  • aureolaborealis

    The past is another country — the Confederacy was not.

    Well played, sir.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Take it from someone who heard it first hand from old southerners.

    It was about states’ rats.

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    They thought they were putting down a rebellion, and that it would be relatively quick. Millions of men over the millennia have signed up for wars on that basis, including before nationalism even existed.

    Why anti-slavery grew from fringe to mainstream in the North and in the mind of Abraham Lincoln before and during the war is a worthy topic. The North’s war aims, on the other hand, is kinda settled.

    • willi0000000

      seems like most of every generation has to learn that it’s not . . . glorious, over in a few days, medals all around and everybody home to cheers and parades.

  • TundraGrifter

    The issue of whether the Southern States actually ever left the Union is a most interesting one.

    President Lincoln, of course, was very careful to never say that. However, shortly after the end of the War he was dead. And the states that comprised the Confederacy had to reapply for admission as states (having met certain specific criteria).

    If they never left why did they have to ask to return?

    • FlownΩver

      The land and people were never severed from the union. The governments, as instruments controlling the land and people, had to say pretty please to get authorization.

  • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’
  • Dr Skwerl B-bart MI-6 Expert

    the immediate cause of the North’s going to war was to preserve the Union

    The even more immediate cause was that the North was attacked.

  • lucidamente
    • JoeChristmas

      And it’s not worth the price of the paper it was printed on.

      • therblig

        had value in the outhouse

  • Beanz&Berryz

    I don’t think Lincoln was mobilizing for war before Ft. Sumpter. Was he? I think of the attack on Ft. Sumpter being like the attack on Pearl Harbor, it galvanized a disparate public opinion. Before Ft. Sumpter, I don’t think Lincoln had to political support to build/mobilize a big army. I don’t know what Lincoln was doing about secession, but I don’t think he was planning an invasion of the South. Or was he?

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      He wasn’t, and even had he wanted to build an army half of the entire United States officer corps had just defected.

      Bear in mind this was still the “militia” period of American military preparedness; the U.S. army before the Civil War was 10,000 men strong and mostly fighting Indians. The only part of the Union that was remotely war-ready was the Navy.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        The Constitution really only says we can have a standing Navy… “To provide and maintain a Navy”… mostly because Navies are hard to build-up fast, maybe

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          It’s also harder to topple a government when you’re restricted to the water.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Unless, as Cornwallis learned, you’re the government guy and you’re on a peninsula.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Not if it’s a standing navy. It only gets expensive if you expect them to sail places

          • FlownΩver

            Standing, sitting… potato, potato.

        • georgiaburning

          Standing armies are expensive and can get ito mischief (see Cromwell, Oliver). Standing navies are expensive but keep pirates away, so the 18th century ecomomics balance out.

      • The Wanderer

        (Chiccolini) I think we should have a standing army.
        (Firefly) Why a standing army?
        (Chiccolini) That way we save money on chairs.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Why do the French have trees along all their roads?

          So the Germans don’t have to march in the sun….

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Indeed. It’s interesting that initial enlistments prior to the First Battle of Bull Run were only 90 days. Quite a sizable chunk of the army marching to Manassas actually quit and went home because their enlistments were up. It wasn’t until after the Union lost that battle that they started asking for longer service.

        • Bobathonic

          What, no Stop Loss Orders? Primitives.

    • TundraGrifter

      You are correct. Read Mr. Lincoln’s first Inaugural Address. He didn’t want war.

      But he didn’t want to see the Union divided.

      Not many people know Mr. Lincoln opposed the war with Mexico. If you read his arguments against it, they echo many of the objections to the American invasion of Iraq debacle.

      • FlownΩver

        It’s why he was voted out after one term in the House.

        • TundraGrifter

          Wasn’t there also an agreement among the members of the party that each would only serve one term and then give another guy a shot?

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Megan McArgle-Bargle. The poster child for nitwits with technology.

  • HazooToo

    Okay guys, I’ll stay until my Dad passes away, but after that, I am getting the fuck out of this country. Things just keep getting more and more fucking stupid, and they keep finding more and more places to be stupid in public.

    • snark-lurker

      where yuh gonna go? (not snark)

      • HazooToo

        Somewhere with a much lower population, probably one of those dirty socialist countries that are clearly failing because they try to do wildly irresponsible things like providing national health care and not having regular mass shootings. Maybe the UK, but that depends on if they manage to survive Brexit with their society intact.

    • TundraGrifter

      I think you’ll be taking off right before things turn around. I’m betting the Trump Administration is the bottom of the curve.

      • HazooToo

        I hope not, because I want my Dad to outlive the Beast.

        • TundraGrifter

          I hope your Dad lives and long and happy life! I just think we’ve hit bottom right through here and things are going to start to improve.

          I mean, who doesn’t think President Trump makes President Obama look like President George Washington? Except for the gray hair, of course.

          • Meccalopolis

            I am glad my dad didn’t have to see this shit show. Katrina damn near broke his heart

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • therblig

      needs moar tearstains

  • Bill D. Burger
  • elviouslyqueer

    tl;dr. STEAFU Megan.

  • schmannity

    All I know is that Thomas Jefferson was vehemently opposed to the Vietnam War and of course, Adams was in favor, the bastard.

    • therblig

      and ironically, tom cruise was born on the 4th of july.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    ITS AN INTERESTING QUESTION TO PONDER, THIS “WHY DON’T WE EAT MORE OLD PEOPLE?” EVEN FOR SNACKS?

    • SomeBigRedDog

      They’re stringy and tough.

      • Bobathonic

        Not juicy and tender, like babbies.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        SEE, ALREADY JERKY! IT ALMOST MAKES SENSE, WHY HAS NOBODY ASKED?

        IN THE OLD DAYS MEAT WAS A LUXURY, SO OLD PEOPLE PROBABLY ATE A LOT OF DRIED MEATS.

        WHAT INTERESTS ME IS WHY OLD PEOPLE WOULD NOT BE IN AGREEMENT ABOUT EATING THEMSELVES, EVEN AS SNACKS?

        • FlownΩver

          Paging Ron Jeremy…

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Altruism?

  • BearGHAZI

    It was a Tarriffic war

    I’ll let myself out

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    How exactly do you invade your own country?

    • vivian

      verrrry carefully?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      It’s like punching yourself in the face, like all good Nazis do.

      • SkinlessGenderlessMan

        Fight Club libelz!

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Does it involve sneaking in your own back door, or something?

      MAYBE IT IS ALL THE GAYZ FAULT AFTER ALL!!1

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        The Randians are digging around trying to find the antistate gland.

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      I’m sure Trump and Bannon are working on it.

  • Proud Liberal

    Question to the readers: Are they trying to start a 21st Century Civil War?

    • TundraGrifter

      Let’s get the 19th Century one over with first.

      • Proud Liberal

        They want the South to rise again!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Paging William Tecumseh Hitler!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Why would we do that in a foreign country of US America? Altruism?

      • vivian

        You mean USA, Inc.?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Trying?
      Start?

    • Canada’s all for another round of 1812 if you guys wanna give that a try

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Sure. Address is still 1600 Pennsylvania. You can’t miss it. Please don’t do it during the weekend, though.

    • TJ Barke

      Less civil war, more soviet purge.

      • Bobathonic

        A Pogrom LLC for America!

    • Red Bird Ω

      Yes. I get the feeling there’s a group out there that thinks it can win.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • doktorzoom

    …briefly set aside her initial clam that the North went to war out of altruism

    Typo corrected. McArdle’s wrong, but she’s no monster

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      sounds like a canned response

      • jesterpunk

        A canned clams response?

        • The Wanderer

          You MONSTER.

    • vivian

      Curse you Doc for making me think of Megan’s initial clam.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Her clam to fame?

    • TJ Barke

      Dok, libertardians are always monsters.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      You canned it?

    • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

      The clam before the storm.

  • vivian

    “all war is some variant of ‘outsiders bad'”
    except for every civil war, ever.

    • FlownΩver

      All of which are “bad insiders bad.”

  • Carpe Vagenda

    I’m just going to gently point out that this is a person whose introductory bouleverse tour of the blogiverse was under the name Jane Galt. I don’t really think you need to know anything else about her, except that she thinks she’s elfin.

  • Ricky Gay

    “.. set aside her initial clam..” –she is so obtuse I knew clams had to be involved.

    • Bobathonic

      Oh. Dear. Lord.

  • Oneofthebobs

    Maybe Andrew Jackson could have prevented the Civil War if it hadn’t been for Obama.

    • Boscoe

      But the obvious question is why Wolverine didn’t stop it.

      • Bobathonic

        Was Canada even invented then?

        • Boscoe

          Adamantium definitely wasn’t, so there would’ve been a LOT more healing factor involved…

        • Sort of

        • jesterpunk

          Everyone knows Chris Jericho invented Canada. (Yes I watch wrestling and no I dont take it seriously and know its fake, its basically a male soap opera)

          https://i.imgur.com/hkDuI.jpg

          • Boscoe

            careful, don’t wanna end up like Stossel…
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrX9Ca7LSyQ

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Those were fake slaps – Stossel would never have gotten up…

          • Boscoe

            Hey, just because he is a wrestler doesn’t mean he doesn’t know what “manslaughter” means… ;P

          • Little Lulu Ω

            Stossel filed charges! And sued the WWWhatever, which netted him about $400k. Claimed that the hits made his rouge harden or something.

          • Little Lulu Ω

            Awesome! I’ve wanted to smack that douchebag myself. With votes. 🙄

  • Boscoe

    Obviously the REAL question is: “can a country invade itself?” ’cause Megan clearly thinks so.

  • The Wanderer

    Why is she allowed a Twitter account? My head hurts from trying to wrap it around her reasoning for this arglebargle.

  • JoeChristmas

    I thought it was about protecting Southern Pride and heritage.

    • georgiaburning

      a war for diabetes, you mean

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        fought at the battle of Paula Deen

        • JoeChristmas

          Oxy or Die!

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            My pies will rise again!

          • brucej

            yer making yer pies wrong if they rise…just sayin..

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            lol, I wondered if anyone would catch that

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          That was a greasy conflict!…

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            bloody biscuits everywhere

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            And the terrible carbage everywhere!…

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          “Praise the lard and pass the ammunition!”

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        ‘Twasn’t a war; the Islets of Langerhans were actually the first to be submerged as a consequence of climate change.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          I thought they were “far flung” into the ocean.

          • FlownΩver

            Just east of Smegma, Spasmodic and Frog.

    • wait! what?

      Now they just have Southern Decadence.

    • Dr Skwerl B-bart MI-6 Expert

      You’re thinking of lynchings.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Boscoe

      OH SNAP!

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      I don’t know: Bernie and his die-hard Berners seem to do a good job of never growing up too. :)

      • La Tijera

        More Bernie bashing from Hilary shills on this site. Some never learn…

        • Lamashtar

          SHOW US YOUR FEC FILINGS

        • CB

          It’s not Bernie bashing… It’s Bernie bro bashing.

          There’s a big difference…

          …and Hillary didn’t win the electoral college, BTW. There’s no reason to shill for her now.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Well, gosh, why did the Austrians appease their ethnic minorities rather than just allow them all to take a hike and form their own countries?

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Uh, her premise is a little wrong. Nationalism was actually fairly strong in the 19th century, particularly in the North. So strong, in fact, that it was a part of the Republican platform: “We denounce those threats of disunion … as denying the vital principles of a free government, and as an avowal of contemplated treason, which it is the imperative duty of an indignant people sternly to rebuke and forever silence.”

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      of course she’s wrong, she’s making shit up like a common Trump

      • Bobathonic

        Whatever it takes to make the sale.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      That and it assumes that you need nationalism to crush a rebellion. Every civil war or failed rebellion prior to the 1800’s begs to differ.

  • whitroth

    Dear Blogeress McArdle,

    Did you actually flunk elementary school? Perhaps you never learned the meaning of the words UNITED STATES, not “disunited states”, and the Confederation of the 1780’s turned out to be a mess, which is why we became a federal state.

    Get the fuck out of our country, traitor.

    • Poly_Ester

      Not flunk exactly , but she did get a certificate of participation rather than a diploma.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    She’s not being stupid – she’s just trying to maneuver everybody into agreeing that it wasn’t about slavery, it was about imposing federal rule.

    OK the “another country” bit was stupid.

    • Boscoe

      EXACTLY. The tactics are much like when creationists try and get you to agree to their redefined/made up “science terms” so they can then debunk them with Jesus.

    • Red Bird Ω

      That makes sense. She seemed to like brining up the dislike of slavery part too much for a libertarian.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Hawaii, Cuba the Phillippines, Haiti, most of Central America, Iraq…”
    — An incomplete list of US invasions done out of claims of Altruism, anyway

  • You see, once upon a time, some people decided that work would be a lot easier and cheaper if they didn’t have to do it themselves or hire others to do it for them, so they came up with the idea of buying human beings and forcing them to work for free in their fields. Naturally, people objected to being forced to work for free, so they beat some of them and killed others to set an example and “worker” complaints stopped.

    They also decided that it would be pretty awesome to rape some of the women they bought. So they did.

    And just to add the white supremacy cherry to being an insufferable asshole sundae, they also broke families apart and sold husbands, wives, and children to other insufferable assholes.

    One day, some people said, “This is not cool and not Christian at all.”

    The insufferable assholes said, “Totes cool, and look at these bible verses.”

    The cool people said, “You’re kind of missing the point. We’re going to try to change the laws to stop this monstrosity.”

    The insufferable assholes said, “We’re going to change the law to support it. And if you win control of the Presidency with this Lincoln character, we’re going to take up our ball and go home.”

    The country elected Lincoln, and he was like, “Hey, guys, I’m cool.”

    And the insufferable assholes of South Carolina said, “Fuck you, Abe” and shot at an American fort. Then they go together and drafted a letter of secession which said, “We love owning black people and you can’t make us stop, so fuck you, America.”

    And then other states drafted letters of secession that said the same thing.

    And the rest of America looked at their crazy ass backwater shitstain relatives and said, “You can’t leave the Union and you can’t own people and you shot up our fort. Of course you know, this means war.”

    So we had a war and Robert E. Lee betrayed his country to go fight for the right to own people and was responsible for the deaths of more Americans than Al Qaeda could ever dream of killing.

    But the cool people won the war, and slavery was outlawed. But the cool people weren’t exactly committed to the idea of letting black people be full citizens either, so rather than root out all of the insufferable assholes who killed good Americans, the ‘cool’ people just sort of forgot about everything and let the insufferable assholes continue to run the South and call slavery ‘share-cropping’ and ‘Jim Crow’. There was money to be made after all, and a few more Native American tribes to genocide.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      You’ve been drinking, haven’t you?…..I’m pretty sure I saw this episode on Comedy Central…

      • Crystalclear12

        Trump is president. We have all been drinking.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Tense correction: we are all drinking.

          • Crystalclear12

            Well, I am drunk so it is nice to have an editor.

          • Perkniticky

            Or even: We are always drinking.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Too bad you weren’t Megan McArdle’s high school teacher.

      • It wouldn’t have worked out. I think parents and the school board would object to my frequent use of “fuck” “shit” “assholes” and “shitstain” in my lectures.

  • Bill D. Burger

    One of the oldest political jokes I remember hearing:

    Young man is severely injured in a car crash.
    Doctor: “I’m sorry. Your son is brain dead. What would you like us to do?”
    Parents: “We…we…we don’t know. We’ve never had a Republican in the family before.”

    (*’Libertarian’ would work just as well.)

    • BeachBum

      He can now watch all the Adam Sandler movies.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Based on both Michigan and Minnesota at Gettysburg, I’d say the whole thing was made up out of suicidal tendencies….

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Headlines from the alternative past: US perfectly OK with attack on Fort Sumter by other country. “No big” says President Lincoln.

  • Jenny

    Because she is a three year old who keeps asking “but why?”

  • FlownΩver

    Ask yourself this, Megan: If some of the states could just decide to say “Pffff… laws,” what would be left of the union, or of the Supremacy Clause, or of the Constitution its own self? If some people or groups are allowed to say “Nuh UH” when they want to, then laws are just suggestions and nations are just areas on a map.

    At some point the Big Government has to apply force or abandon its claim of authority. The responses to Shay’s Rebellion, the Whiskey Rebellion and the People Owners’ Rebellion differed only in degree. And while it was fun to play with the idea in the late Sixties I’m pretty sure the US Army could/would have kicked Jefferson Airplane’s ass if it had come to it.

    Everything has its limits, though. I’d be OK if Washington were to expel Texas for the general good.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      As I always say, the South can still leave the country any time they want. They’re just not allowed to take the real estate.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        or my tax dollars

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          Too late for that.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Not to mention the Sovergin Rebellion, with it’s devastating degrees of butthurt…

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        “What’s all this I hear about virgin rubbing butt-whores?”
        — Miss Emily Litella

    • norcalOG

      It was Andrew Jackson himself who said he would not tolerate South Carolina’s nullification nonsense. That he would personally lead the army to SC and hang any nullifier who got in his way.
      He later said–according to legend–he regretted not hanging his Vice President and leading nullifier–John C. Calhoun–and not shooting Henry Clay.

    • BeachBum

      We could sell Texas to Mexico to pay for the wall. Wait…..what ?

      • FlownΩver

        Win-win!

        But wait! If you act right now we’ll include a free Oklahoma! You pay only a separate handling and shipping charge!

        • BeachBum

          THAT is a DEAL ! Win-Win-Win !

  • MadMadAlwaysMad

    Actually, Dave Barry settled this in one of his books, “The causes of the Civil War were complex”

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Who knew?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Jeff Davis called Mary Todd the “b” word.

  • Ezio

    “Libertarians are just conservatives who smoke weed”. -A wise man

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I think we can all agree that the New Deal was the real slavery, am I right?”
    — Megan McCardle?

    • Ezio

      “Yeah slavery in the south was bad but right now we’re all in slavery to Soros and the globalists. Thats the REAL slavery.” -Alex Jones, probably

    • georgiaburning

      Most of the people with first-hand experience had died by then. Also, don’t recall seeing photos of the WPA auctioning off or whipping workers..

  • Picabo

    Who is Megan McCardle and why should I care?

    • Bill D. Burger

      She’s is a journalist (?) sorta’ and blogger based in Washington, D.C.. She writes mostly about economics, finance and government policy from a libertarian perspective.
      In short, it’s all a way of saying she’s an unintentional comedian. :)

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I liked her better when she just hawked overpriced kitchen gimmickry and pretended that buying a $1400 mixer or a $100 flour sifter made her just like those pioneer women.

      • As the owner of a $350 mixer, i can assure you, that thing has changed my life

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          It’s why your upper body is not as well-developed as it might have been.

        • Shanzgood

          My dad sent me one years ago but I never figured out how to use it. I just needed one of those 80lb ones with one blade and 3 speeds and the one he got me requires an engineering degree and three hands to deal with all the attachments.

          • 3 attachments, 10 speed. Kitchen-aid is the best and it is super useful

          • Shanzgood

            I just wanted to make marinades and smoothies.

          • I use mine for bread, pasta, peanut butter cookies, and gingerbread cookies

          • Shanzgood

            Swot

          • Yeah. I really am

          • Shanzgood

            Thank you for knowing what that means!

          • Anglophile. I looked at an apt over the weekend, and took one look at the kitchen and just said “Nope” and walked out. The oven wouldn’t hold any of my cookie sheets

          • h4rr4r

            Ninja blender! Or blendtec if you are rich.

            The Ninja that comes with the food processor top is really great.

        • h4rr4r

          All hail kitchen aid!

          I got mine for free! My Mom bought one and never used it. Score!

      • Red Bird Ω

        She used to sell kitchen appliances?

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          In a sense. TBogg used to make merry sport of her tedious video blog posts when she was with The Atlantic. Especially if she started gushing about Himalayan Pink Salt or how she bought this $200 geegaw for some kitchen task that could do the same thing in the same amount of time as using a $15 off the shelf item and a little elbow grease.

      • brucej

        “Little Penthouse on the Prairie”

    • BadKitty904

      Don’t know or care, but saying her name three times, fast, is fun!

      • Bill D. Burger

        Just don’t do that in a mirror or Jill Stein will appear.

      • Ezio

        If you do that in a mirror Ron Paul will appear wearing a tinfoil hat!

        • BadKitty904

          On his tin-foil head, presumably.

      • What do i need to say to have Rachel Maddow appear with a cocktail shaker?

        • BadKitty904

          I have the Russian pee-hooker tape.

    • TundraGrifter

      She’s no Meghan McCanns.

  • BMW

    Can we all agree that at least it wasn’t about ethics in video game journalism?

    • Shanzgood

      Well, actually..,

      • h4rr4r

        That is where us white guys get our water!

  • Red Bird Ω

    Don’t know who this person is but she sounds very self absorbed. Isn’t there a mute button on Twitter?

  • Ezio
  • Msgr_MΩment

    Anybody else remember how Uncle Vlad was all “na na na na, hey hey hey, good-bye” to the Ukraine? Or maybe that was Uncle Joe.

  • Vicious Babushka

    I have never heard the word “altruism” used by anyone other than Ayn Rand cultists. People who are not Ayn Rand cultists will use words like “compassion” and “humanity” instead of “altruism” although the notion that you should help your fellow human being even if there is no benefit in it for you, is “all true”

    • Shanzgood

      Altruism is the only word they can use to “prove” that it doesn’t actually exist. Compassion and humanity apparently allow for doing good deeds because it ALSO makes you feel good to make someone ELSE feel good. But as soon as you call it altruism, the sophomoric Rand pundits think they have a “gotcha” and tell you that if you like what you’re doing, it’s not really altruism and WELL ACTUALLY you’re just being selfish like everyone else.

      Because they’re miserable and shitty and want to make everyone else feel miserable and shitty, too.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Ayn Rand proved conclusively that psychopathy isn’t a philosophy.

      • georgiaburning

        But it could become an industry with proper marketing

    • Serai 1

      Altruism is the word people use when they want to ascribe things like compassion and pity to creatures they can’t bring themselves to acknowledge as sentient, or they are forced to acknowledge actions by those creatures that in humans would be called “compassionate”.

      • BeachBum

        Well said.

        • Serai 1

          Thanks. I’ve always despised the double language we use to separate ourselves from the rest of the planet’s population.

    • CriticalDragon1177

      I’ve heard other people use it besides her, although her definition is clearly the most far out there. She’s just about the only person who insisted that the world’s problems were caused by a non existent epidemic of “self sacrifice.” Never mind that even people who constantly preach altruism and self sacrifice are not necessarily motivated by those things.

      For one thing, since we’re talking about slavery and the Civil War, slave owners may have claimed that black people were better off as slaves and it was for their own good, but that’s hardly the thing that motivated them to keep black people in bondage. That’s just one example.

      Not to mention that anyone who did nothing but demand that people sacrifice everything for the greater good, and get nothing in exchange is unlikely to ever gain powers. Politicians will always try to convince people that they will be better off if they support their cause, in one way or another.

  • Kurt Weil

    The thing that makes this difficult to discuss is the fact that the US had no written language until after 1865. With no documentary record, historians have been left with only conjecture and oral history (as well as the famous cave paintings of Gettysburg) to assess the root causes of the Civil War.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Certainly the number of cave paintings about State’s Rights should be considered.

      • Kurt Weil

        I forgot all about the Mason-Dixon Tapestry as well.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          And the eloquent pottery about protective tariffs.

    • mackafritz

      It may have been over some pig getting shot. We’ll never know for certain.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        I blame Jenkins’ Ear.

        • BosGrl

          Mrs. O’Leary’s cow.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            Ooh, burn!

          • Lynnrreel

            My last paycheck was $22500 for working 12 hours a week online.Start earning $97/hour by working online from your home for few hours each day with GOOGLE… Get regular payments on weekly basis… All you need is a computer, internet connection and a litte free time… Read more heres
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      • WotsAllThisThen

        I thought it was about who controls the conch shell.

      • brucej

        That’s how we ended up with Seattle and Portland, and they got to keep Victoria. Was a kind of a good deal at the time, I think…

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        At least it wasn’t over a ruddy football match.

      • Rags
      • Johnnymoreno

        Mostly started over sugar subsidies.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      LOL. This is so on target. There might be a newspaper editorial or three from that time period that answers the “question” rather conclusively. I bet McArglebargle could even find some in the nearest big library.

      • FlownΩver

        Are there big libraries? Where?

    • jesterpunk

      Maybe it was over “economic anxiety” and the northern states not listening to the south’s viewpoints on owning people or something?

      • h4rr4r

        The coming end of slavery caused a lot of economic anxiety. Since rich plantation owners would lose the economic output of the slaves.

        This is also why the South could never win such a war. Without industrialization, since they had no need for labor saving, they could not keep up economically during the war.

    • Nockular cavity

      To Hell with written language, and the cave-painting elite! TRUE Americans communicate only in grunts and violence!

  • cheetojeebus

    You know what’s got me stumped? The effort, the herculean effort-I’m thinking that thing with the stables, to quibble over semantics re the alt right’s racism? Why do they spend so much time arguing about whether their beliefs are racist when they so clearly embrace it? You’ve got 88 tattooed on your forearm and you’re mad someone is calling you a racist? You’ve filled your cabinet with racists and neo-nazis, man up, say it out loud, you clearly feel it. The fucking endless arguments over the South’s motivations in rebelling. What the fuck do they have to loose at this point?

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      So white they’re snowflakes…

    • Stulexington

      What! But then all the liberals will be mean to them, which they’re not allowed to be because free speech.

  • In my view it began with states rights – that is the rights of the Northern states to tell slave hunters to piss off. The Southern States were all “but everybody who knows how to work will run away and then we’ll have to work for ourselves – WAAAAAHHHHH”

    • Ms.Moon

      I thought that the superior white man would be all about hard work for themselves. I mean they characterize black people as lazy I wish their ancestors had thought that it would have prevented a whole lot of grief.

      • Shanzgood

        That’s why they had to beat them so often.

        (Pardon me while I vomit.)

    • VirginiaLady

      Strangely similar to our illegal Messicans cleaning our houses, butchering our livestock, and pickin’ our crops. They do all the work, but get low pay and no legal rights.

  • Darrell Imaginarian

    In 1870 the nation of France attacked Prussia because Prussia was threatening to form a unified German nation from all the petty city states. That could possibly be described as nationalism.

    • Also- Prussia just sounds stupid

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “You are making me blue.”
        — Ghost of Otto von Bismarck

      • georgiaburning

        The real Russia was threatening a trademark lawsuit.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        In some cirles, Pee plus Russia is wery popular kind of Kompromat!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Well, all Trump knows its that it’s a shame that the country didn’t have Andy Jackson as president during the Civil War…..and had to settle for that LOSER Abraham Lincoln.

    • Shanzgood

      Hey, if Jackson was so great why didn’t he PREVENT it in the first place, huh?!

      • Me not sure

        Well, he was 16 years dead by then and died a slave owner,…so there’s that.

        • Shanzgood

          No I mean why didn’t he anticipate it when he was prezinent and keep the Northern states from rebelling?!

          (Oh, god, I can’t do this.)

          • Me not sure

            Well, he actually did get into quite a snit with his Vice President, John C. Calhoun, over the idea of nullification of Federal law by states. They ran on separate tickets in those days. He threatened to send the army to SC to hang the first nullifier they found from a very high tree. Many think he was hoping it would be Calhoun.

        • FlownΩver

          Fucking details. Don’t you know who won the electoral college?

          • Me not sure

            Murica?…Because “great again”?

    • therblig

      Mister we could use a man like Andy Jackson again
      didn’t need no human rights
      all the blacks were owned by whites
      got those yankees in our sights
      Those were the daaaaaaaays!

  • peteywheats

    The attack on Fort Sumter pales in comparison to the all out assault on our country’s institutions and traditions by these Russian Tools in the Kakistocracy.

  • BMW

    At least she’s not Amity “Make Up My Own Unemployment Statistics To Prove My Point” Shaels writing about the Great Depression.

  • Ezio
    • Latverian Diplomat

      Never Always Forget!
      — Donald Trump

      • Snopes Shop

        Haha

    • janecita

      Stolen!!! It shall be posted on Facebook to piss off my Trump voting “friends.” Fuck those ignorant bitches!!!

  • Yellerduck

    The idea that it was all about international trade barriers is tariffying.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I find this line of conversation overly taxing.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      You can reach that conclusion after your fifth or sixth Cotton Gin&Tonic.

      • Rasilom

        Cotton gin & tonic. Well played, Very well played indeed!

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Don’t get all over-excised about it.

          • FlownΩver

            🎵Waitin’ on the levy
            Waitin’ on the levy
            Waitin’ for the Robert E. Lee

      • Little Lulu Ω

        Tacky! (Look it up if you must)

        • Little Lulu Ω

          Ok, google’s no help. Tacky, as Southerners know, is the name given to cotton cloth made from cotton that hasn’t been ginned.

          • Little Lulu Ω

            So if something looked tacky, it looked cheap. Ok, leaving now. Yes, I’ll shut the door.

          • therblig

            i’m bolled over

          • BeachBum

            This is why I come here. I learn something everyday. I honestly thought tacky meant wood being nailed together in a poor way showing the tacks, rather than being formed and fitted.
            Please forgive a Yankee !

          • AmusedAmused

            I always thought cotton comes from the store, and ricotta comes from inside ravioli.

          • SayItWithWookies

            “Outside of a ravioli, a man’s best friend is a book. Inside of a ravioli it’s too dark to read.” — Karl Marx

          • Swampgas_Man

            I thought “Tacky” meant hardtack, as in dried meat.

          • SpideySenser

            I’ve been ginned more times than I actually remember.

          • grindstone

            Dear lord, tacky is the worst insult a southern woman can give. Our family motto? For god’s sake, don’t be tacky.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      We should excise that comment.

  • Jukesgrrl

    “I regret I have but one life to give for my ham biscuits.” — South Carolina

  • WotsAllThisThen

    So why did George Washington invade the British colonies? Was it altruism?

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      Lower Taxes!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      And Nathan Hale, what a slacker! No fervor, that guy.

      Not to mention Patrick Henry and Thomas Paine. Low-energy guys, the both of them.

    • natoslug

      Guns. They were comin’ to take our guns!

  • azeyote

    the civil war happened so Trump could wonder why it did –

    • mackafritz

      And why Andrew Jackson couldn’t stop it.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    “It makes no sense, really. Fort Sumter was just one of many forts of those days, and wasn’t that nice, especially after being fired upon. Why the big reaction??”

    –Megan McSequitur

  • m3bosha

    Internet trolls with Twitter accounts make my eye hurt. It makes the other eye hurt to know people listen to them. Thank the heavens nobody ever listens to internet trolls with Twitter accounts or would ever dream of giving them a position of power.

    Oh shit… chainsaw…. gently… fucking…. cornnuts!

  • Beaufighter

    How is hour four going?

    Troll Level 11.

  • therblig

    obviously, jackson didn’t prevent the civil war because he knew they’d replace him with harriet tubman on the $20.

  • Nockular cavity

    “Why did we have a civil war in the 1860s if countries hadn’t been invented yet? And don’t try to correct anything in that question.”

  • capnkrunch
    • CriticalDragon1177

      I really should start watching that show! Rick and Morty looks Hilarious!

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Megan, look at my thumb

  • Maybe Jackson should have taken his genocide on the road and invaided what is now Germany…
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c8a51c50228f9a0e86791831ca8bc6a3d010dbf40106845250567ba33f2fa08f.gif

  • zerosumgame0005

    basically because the FUCKING “SOUTH” ATTACKED FIRST you moron! is that plain enough for you? not to mention the fucking ABOLITIONIST (to ABOLISH slavery!) movement was started in the god dammed NORTH. read a book someday you dumbass!

    • mancityRed6

      funny how the “it wasn’t about slavery” crowd forgets this.
      even if it wasn’t (even though it was a huge factor), you’d think half the country seceding and attacking would be a good go ahead to do something about it.

      • zerosumgame0005

        they even dare to call it the “War Of Northern(?) Aggression”!

  • Me not sure

    Trump’s next book will be “The Deal At Appomattox Courthouse”.
    “You still get to own people, but instead of slaves they will be called “involuntary associates” and in return for you getting to keep them I get will $100,000,000 up front in gold and ten percent of the value of the goods and services that they produce in perpetuity. Done.”

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “I love the slaves. Nobody loves slaves more than me. By the time I’m done being president, we’ll have so many slaves, you’ll be sick of slaves.”

      • Me not sure

        “Bigliest, happiest, singy-dancy involuntary associates ever.”

        • therblig

          all the doo dah day!

          • Me not sure

            Damn right! Whether they like it or not.

  • HogeyeGrex

    Christ, what a vapid, useless sack of offal. How does somebody with that little grasp on the most basic history of her own country get a paying gig writing about anything more socially relevant than comparing brands of cat litter?

  • Blueb4sunrise
    • CriticalDragon1177

      I doubt that Lincoln would actually use those words, but he would agree, and he would be correct.

  • BeachBum

    I have always thought that the GOP puts up with libertarians because of free market-laisser-faire- business can do what they want bullshit ideology, and ignores the rest.
    Dems think libertarians are just hypocrites on everything, and do not need to waste time on them. IMHO.

  • Stephanie Rakowski

    If nationalism was so “not a thing”, why were we fighting Mexico just 10 years before in order to bring Texas into the Union? We didn’t even have our Oil Lust yet.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      SHUT UP! That’s why.

      • Stephanie Rakowski

        Such language for a Silly Old Bear! :)

  • AmusedAmused

    What WAS the Civil War about? Who knows? No one knows, that’s who. Maybe it was about jazz vs. country music. Maybe it was about architectural styles. Maybe it was about the correct beets-to-tomatoes proportion in borscht.

    One thing we know for certain: it may have been about anything, except slavery.

    • marxalot

      Country vs Western

      • mancityRed6

        yeah, but where does outlaw country come into it?

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Oh, that’s what happened after the war and they all headed out west….

        • unionthuggery

          After the spy agency you work for as a receptionist goes belly up, and you decide (after one too many LSD gummy bears) that you want to live out your dream of being a country star?

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        “They play two styles of music – country and western!”

      • An Outhouse for the Resistance

        Splitters.

    • Major_Major_Major

      I blame the tides, the position of Mars in the night sky, and the book of Revelations in descending order of culpability

    • Sid Pevear

      I’m going with The Illuminati and Satanic Cults for 1000 Alex!

    • Left Coast Tom
  • President in Exile Firefly

    “Why did so many Civil War battles take place in National Parks?” added McArdle.

  • Jukesgrrl

    Arglebargle is right. That should be her name: Megan McArglebargle.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Dear President Trump,

    This historically accurate photograph clearly shows that the Civil War was fought over dilithium crystal mining rights.

    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-npucLJM0iRk/UhZBVfcyEVI/AAAAAAAALKg/7Xfk7BiqfZU/s1600/thesavagecurtainhd0211.jpg

    • CriticalDragon1177

      LOL! Star Trek was a great show!

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Jesus fucking Christ, the Civil War was fought to preserve the Union. Every school child knows this, or they used to in my day. If the North hadn’t wanted to preserve the Union, they would have let the Confederacy secede, because the truth is the Abolitionists were in the minority in the North, although they were a loud minority. My great-great grandfather was a farmer in Indiana at the time, and he had never even seen a slave, but he felt compelled to fight to save the Union. Case closed.

    P.S. Great Great Grandpa left behind a pregnant wife and 4 children under 10. They almost starved to death on the farm while he was gone for 3 years. I have mixed feelings about this. We saw what happened to the women and children left behind in “Gone With The Wind” and “Cold Mountain”, but people rarely talk about the Union families left behind. A man doesn’t walk away from his farm, his wife, and his children just for black slaves he never saw.

    • mancityRed6

      she’s just “asking questions” and rabble rousing at the same time.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        “asking questions”. . . you hit on a hot topic for me. I figured out somewhere around second grade that asking questions was frowned on by authority figures, especially the ones running my Catholic Catechism classes, and the ones in my public school’s administration office. I have taken great pleasure in disappointing such people ever since.

  • mancityRed6

    Kansas. We started it all. The Missouri compromise said any state admitted to the Union after that date and below that latitude could or would be slave owning. A whole shit ton of people from Massachusetts moved to Kansas with the strict idea of making it a free state by vote (this is why the main street into downtown Lawrence is Massachusetts street, also, read this story http://www2.ljworld.com/news/2006/apr/21/states_confusion/)
    and read this book: http://quod.lib.umich.edu/cgi/t/text/text-idx?c=moa;idno=AFK1368

  • vivian

    Pretty sure that if you gave Megan a 3-way mirror it would result in an amber alert.

  • mardam422

    And this is another in the series “Why do we have a moron in the White House?”. Just sayin’.

  • SayItWithWookies

    1. The argument over slavery had been going on for decades;
    2. Many Americans just wanted it to be over and were convinced (rightly) that the South wouldn’t end slavery under peaceable terms;
    3. When it happened, both sides thought they were fighting for a noble cause, the soldiers were young and thought it would be great fun, and nobody thought the war would last for more than 90 days;
    4. By the time they figured out it might last a lot longer, everyone was pretty much committed.

    There, was that so difficult, Megan?

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Lady is a couple of chapters shy of a full book.

  • Manhattan123

    No matter how much right-wing “intellectuals” like her and Andrew Sullivan try to avoid the usual right-wing dog whistles, their underlying (usually-hidden) racism still occasionally peeks out.

    • Alan

      Intellectual? You made a funny.

  • mardam422

    I have LITERALLY read a dozen books on this very topic in the last year alone. And that only scratches the surface of the good information that is out there. And yet, here we have someone who is supposed to be a Conservative “thinker” without a fucking clue about something any 7th grader could tell her.
    I weep for the Union. And this time I don’t think Abraham Lincoln is walking through that door.

    • Duke

      Too busy going round-and-round

    • He’s too busy learning to surf and giving speeches. PAID if you can believe it, of all the crimes.

  • guppy06

    We’re more than a little skeptical of the claim that nationalism and the
    desire to bring the rebels to heel was insufficient motivation for Union troops

    Megan McArdle: Woman Without a Country.

  • Jesse

    After reading that I think we should all require her to marry someone with the last name of ‘bargle’ and hyphenate. For accuracy’s sake.

  • SpudRaider

    I think the point she is trying to make is that she’ just as ignorant of history as the president, and to infer like him slavery was not worth fighting for

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      There’s the Socratic method, and then there’s Megan.

      • TundraGrifter

        Then there is our President, who seems to favor the Sclerotic Method.

        • thixotropic jerk

          “Hey!!!” said offended scleroses everywhere

      • Left Coast Tom

        There’s the Socratic method, and then there’s Megan.

        The McArgleBargle Method.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      Plus she had 4 hours to kill.

  • mardam422

    Why did we fight the War for American Independence? I mean, sure we wanted to be free. But why did they fight? Was it because of tariffs? Stamps? Taxes? Tea? Was George III just trying to grab too much colonial pussy? Was Madison just looking for an excuse to ogle Hamilton?

    I could go on for hours. Maybe I should ask Megan McMegan?

    • CriticalDragon1177

      She would probably be able to give you a more accurate answer to that question than as to why we fought the Civil War.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      I’ve heard colonial pussy was the best – wild and untamed.

      • thixotropic jerk

        But worth dying for? Well maybe

    • epazote

      Why the War for American Independence ?
      The King had forbid colonial “settlers” from venturing beyond the Appalachian Mountain range…all land west of the mountains was Indian territory and the “settlers” wanted it !

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    When the tumbrels roll up to take Megan away, she’ll complain that the rails aren’t made of polished birds-eye maple.

  • CriticalDragon1177

    Doktor Zoom,

    I also really doubt that nationalism was all that much weaker in the 19th century than it was in the early 20th century. Its very telling that Megan McArdle doesn’t seem to be able to comprehend why the rest of the nation gets angry at the south, when they talk about the “war of Northern aggression.” Even ignoring the issue of slavery, and the fact that the Confederacy wouldn’t even have existed if rich white guys weren’t terrified of losing their slaves, the south started it. Confederate troops fired the first shot at Fort Sumter

    Fort Sumter
    http://www.civilwar.org/battlefields/fort-sumter.html?tab=facts?referrer=https://www.google.com/

    Also since when do national governments not get enraged when one of their provinces tries to breakaway? It pretty much always happens.

  • Mack N. Nietzsche

    The point here, Megan, darling, isn’t that the “North” invaded the “South”. What happened was a bunch of extremists decided to attack US soldiers in a US Fort and started their rebellion. The “South” started the war and the “North” finished it. The “South” has never been able to get over it. Sad. Weak. Losers.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      Yes, exactly, and the extremists fired on a United States military installation because they wanted to be able to own human beings–something else she’s conveniently glossing over.

      • Duke

        They wanted there to be more states with slaves and the Union wasn’t going to accept new slave states. This is the veneer of “states rights” that some apply to the war. They feared that after free states became a larger majority that they’d be forced to give up slavery. Happened sooner than that.

        (Insert Oklahoma joke)

        • Lamashtar

          Had the Slave States truly respected “states rights”, the Northern States would’ve been safe harbors. Slaves could’ve run away and become instantly legally free. If the Supreme Court had held up this definition? Imagine how things would’ve changed.

          Slavery couldn’t have held up with constantly running. The pressure would’ve made slavers had to offer some basic rights and wages to sweeten the pot of being able to live with the people you knew. The caveat to running away is that Northerners treated black Americans as second class citizens. So there was wiggle room for those who didn’t want to run.

      • doktorzoom

        Much though I hate to defend someone who’s so obviously wrong, I gotta say McArdle isn’t at all ignoring the evil of slavery. She’s quite sincere in her belief that the North went to war primarily to free the slaves, and she’s praising that. She even says, somewhere in the thread, that if the Union and the Confederacy had been founded in 1776 as two separate nations, it would have been appropriate for the North to invade the South to end slavery.

        Of course, she’s kind of missing a hell of a lot of real history about how the war happened.

        • javadavis

          There is at least one state out west that got into the union early (before there was enough population to permit it according to the rules) but with the caveat that said state would support the Union in return – or so the flag implies.

  • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

    I don’t understand how she can even remotely try to say it was “us invading another country.” First–the South FIRED on their OWN country, just as if someone in North Carolina today took a machine gun and fired at a U.S. military installation. As you say, it was a rebellion that needed to be put down. She’s deliberately mischaracterizing it to begin with. Everything else she says is seditionist, deliberately inflammatory nonsense. Like saying “The U.S. invaded Normandy in WW2 for no reason.”

    • CriticalDragon1177

      She seems to not understand as why a nation state would get enraged at such behavior.

  • Edith Prickly

    Is she still getting paid by a media company for her warmed-over Randroid derp, or is she just mooching off the Koch brothers these days?

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      Some friend of her parents is paying her.

      • Edith Prickly

        The looter class looks after their own.

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    Is ((( school marm Megan a joo?))). Otherwise I don’t get all the ((())). what’s up with that?

    • Shibusa

      Anything in parenthesis can (not) be ignored.

    • javadavis

      I was wondering the same thing. I see this format a lot, popular on twitter, but WTF? I tried the google, but it either ignores that part – the ()s – of the query or offers a bunch of chatter about emojis.

    • When people on the twitters put that around their own names, it is like the safety pin thing. Sort of a twitter badge for “I am not against the Jews! Also, fuck off Nazis!”
      Considering libertarian, I kinda might give Mz. McArdle a pass on her pot hazed wonder of why the North fought the war in which they were attacked and all of that. From a whole nuther country even.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    A lot of people don’t realize that the people who voted for secession didn’t exactly follow any kind of due process. The drawing up of letters of secession, the voting, etc, was done by groups of southern oligarchs plantation owners community leaders. The general populations of the seceding states had no say in the matter.

    Also too, West Virginia came into being because the counties that comprise that state refused to leave the Union and so seceded from Virginia. You have to admire that degree of cussedness.

  • WeaselPoo

    I always though it was that bitch, Auntie Bellum’s, fault.

  • Juan de Fuca

    Borrowing from a phrase my late grandfather used –

    Megan McArdle is two nickels short of a dime.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Stolen (((with citation, of course))). The best Smokograndpa had was “Jimmeny Christmas!” I mean, cheese and crackers, that’s the best a pious German had is his day! FFS.

      • Juan de Fuca

        My grandpop used that one too! I’m reminded of him everytime I see that Disney cartoon character, Jiminy Cricket. LOL

      • javadavis

        Oh, look, you used that triple parentheses thing, too. What is that? I missed the memo, clearly, because I see them everywhere but I don’t know what the meaning is.

  • ExpatGirl

    I love the way she smugly smacks back at people who clearly took seventh grade history as if she has a better handle on this deeply mysterious subject.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Give her credit. I think this is about, like, 9th grade level. I literally had an 8th grader ask me if Lincoln was a slave.

    • Shibusa

      A freshman in my UNM Composition 101 class wrote a 5 paragraph essay about the moral wrongness of “human beans” owning other “human beans”.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      I was very interested to hear that a colleague’s high-school-aged daughter had written an essay that approved of how Martin Luther freed the slaves.

      • Contemplative Ron

        Hey, at least she didn’t say it was LEX Luther.

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          That IS a plus!! Good point!

  • Scooby

    I just woke up…did I miss a civil war?

    • Duke

      Not in the US…unless you’re amazingly old.

      • javadavis

        Or unless you showed up early.

  • richardgrabman

    Nationalism wasn’t a big issue? If you overlook Manifest Destiny, the invasion of Mexico, the “filibustros” of the 1850s…

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Not to mention the international drive for nationalism that precipitated the agitation of 1848…the whole middle part of the 19th century was lousy with nationalist fervor.

  • thixotropic jerk

    How can Megan McMcMc consider herself a serious thinkerer on the Civil War without discussing the culinary perspective? That the war was actually fought over butter, fried food and mint juleps vs tinned meat, Boston baked beans and NY cheesecake?

    • Bigby

      Don’t forget Moon Pies, Philly Cheese Steaks, Jersey Corn, Grits, Lobster Rolls, and Peaches. Mmmmm, culinary warfare….

      • OppressedMass

        Dammit. Now I’m hungry.

  • Duke

    This is why I don’t do the tweeter. I prefer to sound confused in the privacy of my car.

    • Alan

      Are you the guy sitting at the light next to me?

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Trump really didn’t do much studying in school did he nor did this Megan person? They did kinda try and work it out with things like The Kansas-Nebraska act. There was no real way to work it out. One side had to relent.

  • unclejeems

    I thought the Civil War was Obama’s fault. Oh, well . . .

    • Alan

      Give it a week.

  • Alan

    I’ll have to start keeping an idiot list. Can’t keep up.

  • SeeTrain65

    TBogg used to excoriate this idiot mercilessly nearly every week on his old blog, and by the way he wrote, it almost seemed too easy.

    Nice to see Megan hasn’t changed a bit.

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    If I face-palm myself any more, I will do myself an injury.

    For the love of Murgatroyd, somebody slap this woman with a 4th grade history book.

  • AJ Milne

    For all my muttering about Twitter’s limitations as a medium, as this has reminded me, I gotta grant: it _does_ have some advantages…

    First, a sufficiently silly position, broken into multiple Tweets, takes on an interesting, anticipatory, water torture by stupid quality. It’s a bit mesmerizing. Like watching someone dig their own grave, one shovelful at a time. You can watch as long as you like. It has, even, sometimes, a certain suspense… How much further does this go? Will they continue indefinitely, past even all who still know them in the world interjecting to notify anyone following that all legal and social and financial ties have now been formally severed, and please don’t expect us to forward their mail? Or, perhaps, will some local emergency detail trained exactly for such crises force their way into their residence, and tear the device from the afflicted tweeter’s grasp?

    Also, that drip by drip quality, mercifully, means there’s a concrete mechanism of shutting off communications literally between sentences. Block, even, if necessary, at any time. So, unlike being handed a heavy, 200,000 word manifesto, printed on several reams of paper, and then having the inconvenience of awkwardly having to hand it all back, possibly after hitting the dedication to Joseph Goebbels on page two, you can just click a button, and we’re done…

    It’s a kinda safety/containment measure, I guess. A bit like an airlock, but for dumb.

    • phoenix00

      Now you see why a certain POTUS loves it so much.

      • AJ Milne

        Dunno. Figure the reason he loves it is probably more 140 characters is plenty for blind assertion, fits the clipped, overly-certain, hypersimplified bumper sticker sloganeering style of dictators and would-be dictators perfectly…

        … and, of course, because it’s instant gratification for attention seekers, and instant is as much as he has ever had the patience for.

        • phoenix00

          Ding ding ding ding ding!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    One of the most incredibly stupid cunts in the history of stupid cuts, Megan is.

  • Bitter Scribe

    What, seriously, does McArdle think would have happened if the North had just ignored the attack at Fort Sumter? Does she really think the USA and the CSA could have lived side by side in peace, as a slave country cheek-by-jowl with a free one?

    For one thing, why would the North need or want to return fugitive slaves to an independent South? That means the Mason-Dixon line would have to be fortified, armed raiders from the South would go across the border looking for slaves, they would meet armed resistance, and before you know it, a shooting war would begin.

    Even leaving aside the question of fugitives, why would industry and workers in the North tolerate competing with slaves? They would put pressure to keep out cotton and other slave-produced products, and with no Southern politicians around to counteract that pressure, the North would be impelled into a de facto boycott of the South. This would lead to hardship, resentment and, inevitably, a shooting war.

    Thank God Lincoln was a lot smarter than McArdle and could see all this coming, else the conflict between North and South might have been even bloodier and more protracted.

    • The Flaming Carrot

      What I hear from the Civil War naysayers (including my own father!) is that “the South would have abolished slavery, eventually). McArdle appears to be his spiritual descendent.

      (I’m pretty hard on myself, but I should give myself credit that I was raised by two right-wing lunatics and didn’t end up like them. I used to pretend that my real dad was Studs Terkel).

      • mailman27

        The “eventually” is the tricky part.

        • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

          Yeah. To the actual living, suffering human beings who were enslaved the whole “eventually” thing would have seemed less than persuasive.

          • I remember once getting into an internets argument with someone who backed into that eventually corner.
            So, me being me, went all “Well, glad we could help you sort that out sooner, then!”
            think he blocked me. Rightly, to be honest. No regerts.

      • C4TWOMAN

        There is some truth to the South would EVENTUALLY abolish slavery…as in it was being abolished in all Western European countries and it was only a matter of time before Europe would have boycotted the South’s goods.

        But we’re talking a LONG damn time…if I was to bet, I’d say it would be near 1900 before it became economically infeasible…and that would be mostly because slaves could escape into the expanding West.

        • Dudleydidwrong

          I’m not sure that “eventually” would have come by now, had Lincoln and the North said “just go in peace.” Slavery still exists in the 21st century in different guises and with the mindset of many today there would be acceptance of and support for some form in the name of capitalism and property ownership. If corporations can be people then people can be property.

      • Darrell Imaginarian

        Or maybe the Civil War would have happened later. Maybe the Confederacy would join the Kaiser in WWI, or Hitler in World War II. I bet they would have been a pain in the ass. Even more so than the usual Yankee imperialists.

      • Fusilier 0770

        Sure, slavery would have died on the vine “eventually,” but it would have, barring some violent revolutionary overthrow by ex-slaves or descendants of ex-slaves, been more than likely a brutal society similar to the South African apartheid government where a white minority controls the majority black state. Even at the time of the Civil War, some states like Mississippi already had significant majorities over the white population and that gap would have gotten only wider as the years went by.

  • II Gosala

    McArdle, and most modern commenters, miss the important point that republicanism in the 1860s was still very much an experiment.

    Most political thought of the time said that republics were unstable and short lived.

    The European powers were salivating at the prospect of the United States breaking up into small, weak states, which they could recolonize.

    This was the background of the Gettysburg address and what was behind Lincoln’s declaration that if he could save the union by freeing no slaves, he would do it.

    It was only late in the war that the North realized that freeing the slaves was the only way to preserve the union — because a house divided cannot stand — that it realized that slavery was not commensurate with republicanism.

    Had they really taken seriously the articles of sucession, they would have understood the real issue so much sooner.

    But, their interests were against it. The Northern economy depended on the slave economy, for the raw materials of cotton and tobacco, for places to invest in trade, for opportunities to make financial deals.

    All in all, given how much interest was arranged against the preservation of the union, it seems a miracle that Lincoln pulled it off.

    https://youtu.be/aSvH4s-4sCQ

  • SavageElbow

    Seems to go with the current Republican/Libertarian party line – Treason ain’t no thang.

  • Me not sure

    Many people ignore that the key question driving the intensity of feeling in the n
    North wasn’t abolition but the free soilers who saw the American West as a place where slavery should never be allowed to spread. The South knew that Lincoln had no authority under the Constitution to affect slavery where it existed, but he could keep it out of the West. The South was “farmed out” and had an ever growing population of enslaved people that had to earn their keep or else be a burden. The minute you start freeing slaves merely because you have no profitable work for them to do, you have admitted that the idea that slavery was a “positive good ” for the enslaved and not a “necessary evil”, as even southerners called it in the days when the Constitution was adopted, was a damned lie.

    • VileWhig

      Yes! The North (aka the U.S.) did not fight for the slaves themselves. It fought for the Union, but more specifically it fought against the spread of slavery to the West just as the southern “slave power ” fought to extend it. The war really had little to do with slavery in the states where it existed. But slave owners wanted to extend
      their holdings, and give their younger sons opportunities in the West, and anti slavery farmers feared being shut out by rich plantation owners and feared a national political system dominated to their detriment by slave owners. Viewed that way, it is easy to understand that most unionists were racists and were content with the oppression of blacks after the Civil War. The slave power no longer threatened them; they didn’t much care what happened to former slaves and their descendants and in fact they preferred that blacks be kept away from them. The other point to be made is that if the US government had agreed to secession by the Confederate States, or a treaty granted independence, there would have been war or several wars between the USA and the CSA in the second half of the 19th century. European Powers, especially Britain and France, would have been involved.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        Lincoln explained over and over that he couldnt outlaw slavery. He felt he had no power to do so. He did however want to confine it to the South where it would die of its own accord. The South needed to expand it to keep their way of life going

      • Gregory Brown

        You might want to reel a bit of that argument back in. Certainly the expansion of slavery was an issue, but in the first half of the war, it was not a factor for the soldiers in the north, nor was slavery where it existed. Slavery, and white supremacy certainly was, for the officers and the enlisted men of the Confederacy, the reason they fought. I heartily recommend that you read the articles of secession of the rebel states, along with their accompanying reasons, all of which put slavery, and slavery in their state, squarely front and center as the reason they were ready to fight. After the war, the northern support for the freedmen was strong, but Andrew Johnson helped to undercut it and enabled the South to reassert racial hegemony over blacks, who, briefly, had made inroads into business and politics. And the Southerners drove the northerners out, making the region hostile again to northern influence, so it was not as though blacks were callously abandoned by the north.

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      Slavery had to expand or it would die. The South needed to keep the system going and without the lands out west, it was over.

  • LiPao

    The only thing more pitiful than Megan’s Civil War synopsis is people that re-enact Civil War battles. What the hell are they trying to prove? People lived and people died.(yawn)

    • Gregory Brown

      You’re a complete jackanapes. We still are not over the Civil War, and fuck your yawn right in your big, fat mouth.

  • Jon Sussex

    I don’t know who she is but I would guess that when she sobers up she won’t remember any of this.

    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      Inside the reactionary right wing bubble, when she says things like this people tell her “clever girl,” and she believes them.

      It never does to forget that when Charles Koch, et al, set up shop half a century or so ago, looking to take down the institutions of democracy so that they wouldn’t have to pay taxes or obey laws or be nice to black people any more, they promised to share their billions with anybody who could come up with a “new paradigm” (or some such bullshit) that would help to usher in the libertarian paradise.

      That was the opening bell for an eruption of intellectual grifters such as the world has never seen before, and may never see again (largely because if this keeps on going in the direction it’s going, we’re all gonna die, but that’s another story for another day).

      Megan comes out of the same grift mill as people like Frank Luntz and Rich Lowry and Jonah Goldberg and Bret Stephens and Ross Douthat. She spews mendacious and catastrophic bullshit for ready cash. It’s a handsome living.

      There’s just so much money on the right, and you don’t really have to be terribly good at anything to earn it.

      • We really need to dip into that you know. Obviously we can’t get them to see reason anymore, their greed is now too entrenched. So I postulate we pose and bankrupt the mother fuckers instead.

    • Heyzeus Ahchay

      Sobers up: no; comes down off her ‘shroom high: yes.

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    Maybe someone should send her a copy the Ken Burns’ series.

    • ExpatGirl

      Or any of the estimated 65,000 books written on the subject, or hundreds of movies…or documentaries…or countless magazine articles…or the reams of contemporary newspaper articles, speeches, etc. of the actual participants talking about their motivations…

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        I think i need to make a go FundMe page and donate history textbooks to various people including this lady and Donald Trump.

        • kareemachan

          Nope. Don’t waste your money.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        I was assuming that her skill set limited her learning to watching TV.

        • ExpatGirl

          Hmmm. You could be right.

  • Werewolf

    I’m surprised she didn’t say that Lincoln should’ve organized some first graders to bum-rush the Army of the Northern Virginia.

  • It is so weird, to me, that people cannot even conceive that there might be more than one reason, more than one motivation, more than one cause and effect that our ancestors moved to. It is as if they are saying those who came before were too simple, too stupid, and not /as/ human as modern population.
    It’s some sort of weird thing…like sexism but for past people. Pastism.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Simpletons live in simple worlds and the concept of multicausality brings out the simpleness in such people–“We don’t want anything other than a simple answer, professor.” And the professor seeks solace with his friend Jack Daniels.

      • Spurning Beer

        “Multicausality” is good. Psychologists tend to use “multidetermined.”

        • Heyzeus Ahchay

          When an 18-wheeler rolls by on the highway near her house, I wonder how many hours’ worth of inane things Megan writes in her diary as she contemplates where they might be going and why.

    • phoenix00
  • efoveks

    Does Megan McArdle eat paste?

    • Pretty sure she is absolutely partaking in something.

      • The Flaming Carrot

        That’s what I thought. And with her Bloomberg salary, she can afford some good shit.

    • unionthuggery

      She only eats paste when she runs out of glue to sniff.

      • Gregory Brown

        It’s hauntingly similar to a dismembered think piece column by gin-soaked Dame Peggington Noonington.

        • H0mer0

          mebbe Megan wuz thinking she could get a Pulitzer with her brain farts

  • Lizernst

    Maybe Megan McArdle should read Mandingo.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Watch the movie. The scene where Mandingo gets pitchforked in the boiling brine is horrendous.

  • DaveM

    Reunification did not work out so well I think. See Mitch McConnell, Jeff Sessions and any number of other southern republicans.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    I mean, let’s (for the umpteenth time) cut the shit. They keep picking up his disgusting mouth droppings and describing them as Pearls of Great Price because (despite all their pathetic protestations of individual liberty) slavish obedience to authority is the _default baseline parameter_.

    It’s not a bug, it’s _the_ feature.

  • Raan

    But then she was right back to wondering why it is that the North came to see slaves — a group of outsiders — as a valid reason for going to war.

    Because that’s exactly the hill that Confederate politicians chose to send a bunch of poor farmboys to fight and die on, couched in the language of state’s rights.

    Was…was that not clear?

  • AJ Milne

    It’s probably thanks to strips posted to these very threads that now whenever Trump demonstrates, yet again, he presumably once was (and kinda still is) a noticeably weak grade two student, I think inevitably of Watterson’s Calvin…

    … and then wonder: should it be a cautionary tale for fathers like Calvin’s, too? Sure, guy, you think it’s just hilarious to prank your kid with stories about how the world was actually all in black and white before the fifties, but what if he makes it to seventy, improbably becomes president of the US, and somehow still believes you?

  • Darrell Imaginarian

    I totally agree we should have fought a brutal war to free the slaves, I just wonder if the people who fought and died in that war for the Union, in extraordinary numbers, were cucks for the Jewish conspiracy.

  • Nick Scroggs

    Bleeding Kansas. The decades-long debate over what if slave states get more power in the Congress. What to do with land after the Mexican-American War. These sentence fragments and others I have just stated, for McArdle to check into. You’re welcome.

  • Begin Anew Day

    I got through about half of this article and then I realized I had to take a dump. Imagine my chagrin to walk into the bathroom and see no TP on the roll holder!

    But my boy scout training has always served me well. I always keep some Confederate States battle flag napkins handy for just this emergency. I also have paper products with Robert Lee’s mug shot and the Mississippi state flag.

    And I don’t flush them either. If Alex Jones can call himself a performance artist I figure I can donate my artwork to the various Confederate Heritage museums that dot the landscape of Dixie.

    Sure, it’s a waste of good art sending it to them but that is how I roll…generous to a fault!

    • The Flaming Carrot

      That’s how you roll. Groan.

  • Mike Steele

    Many people are saying that, in 1860s, we were just several generations beyond having fought a tough war to become the UNITED States of America. Perhaps, unlike today’s Trumpanistas, Americans were willing to go to the mat for that which they had comparatively recently created. Or, to put it in terms Megan Who? might understand: As relations became strained, South stomped off in search of a divorce
    lawyer, while North attempted to save the marriage.

    • mfp

      we’re even less # of generations beyond fighting a world war to stomp out fascism and genocide, yet…here we are

  • Spork

    Thus leading to the ultimate question: Just how low is the bar to becoming a nationally prominent blogger?

    • Niblet58

      Buried six feet under ground….

    • The Flaming Carrot

      It’s not just that. Bloomberg actually pays this person to be a pseudo-journalist.

  • cicatricella

    The North was automating its manufacturing. The South wanted to keep the established slave system.
    The cotton gin was invented.
    The Northern states wanted to keep the trade ports that had been established in the South (largely by the slave trade).
    Slavery had been outlawed in the British Empire by that time which means Canada and the Bermudas and Jamaica would not be welcoming ports for the Southern states that used slavery as their manufacturing basis.
    A large number of Quakers had settled in the Northern states and Canada providing a safe haven for escaped slaves.
    I’m pretty sure that the man who created the Trail of Tears could not have stopped that from happening.

    But hey, that’s just one take from a random not-USian person.

  • Lynnrreel

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  • The Flaming Carrot

    McArdle’s take on the Handmaid’s Tale is even more bizarre:
    “Meanwhile, the culture is moving the other way. Women are gaining more economic power relative to men; the culture is becoming less religious. The “Handmaid’s Tale” is becoming less plausible a future with each passing year, no matter how hard feminists insist that there is only a brief and slippery slope between overturning Roe v. Wade and forcing women into state-sanctioned breeding programs.”

    McArdle is obviously clueless about what happens outside of Lower Manhattan; there are towns in Tennessee, for instance, that have more churches than people, and an ever-increasing number of fundamentalist churches where ministers preach that gays and adulteresses should be executed. McArdle (purposely?) left out a major premise of the book — diminished fertility caused by nuclear fallout — to which the authoritarian, theocratic government responded by setting up said breeding program.

    And if she truly believes that Americans are becoming less religious, why does she cushion her name in triple parentheses? Clearly she’s aware of the mad dog anti-Semitism that is rampant on the Internet.

    Although I disagree with Libertarians on many issues, chiefly on their dogged insistence that everyone and everything is for sale, most of the ones I know have a bit more integrity than this fool. She’s a neo-con in Libertarian clothing.

    • mfp

      “she’s a neo-con in libertarian clothing”…mmmmm-yessss…arent they all….

      • The Flaming Carrot

        They’ve already endorsed every authoritarian regime; it’s hardly surprising that they would be comfortable with having one in the U.S.

  • Oblios_Cap

    “Jerk” is probably the best adjective to use when describing McArdle-Bargle.

  • grief_dog

    The war didn’t start until rebels FIRED ON FEDERAL TROOPS who were only trying to re-supply Ft Sumter.

  • Lily412

    “Also, several others in the thread said they seemed to remember something about the South attacking a fort, or Sumter like that.”

    Sublime.

    • Jim Johnson

      Fort Sumpthin’ or Other…

    • H0mer0

      I thought Sublime did some song about Santeria.

  • LadyLaz

    So much derp.

  • William
  • Fidel Jack Tenhet

    Head, meet desk.

    On an unrelated note, I really miss being able to work. I wish more than anything that I could actually hold down some kind of jerb. 22 years disabled sucks way more than I had ever thought it would.

  • akita96th

    To argue the civil war using documented facts with conservatives is like arguing with an idiot, they will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.. you dont have a chance….facts always lose out to fiction in the conservative world of spinning brains.

    • Jim Johnson

      Most of these “extreme conservative” opinions are actually mental health issues.
      The state of mental health in this country is atrocious.

  • Tony Prost

    I thought these people went to college?

  • ryp

    The answer is: Boys like to fight.

  • ryp

    McArdle is none too bright, and if you have to spend 10 tweets explaining what you meant by your first one, you have failed at twitter. But it is an interesting question as to why so many were willing to sacrifice to hold together such a contentious union. We are much firmer in our sense of a nation now, but if most of the former confederacy wanted to leave today, much of the rest of the country would be helping them pack their bags.

  • Serolf Divad

    McArdle raises a good point: why did Lincoln launch a space-flotilla to free slaves held by a distant aquatic civilization 900 light years away on a water-covered planet in the Nebulon 7 super-cluster?

  • mfp

    screen shot of one of several ads that keep popping up in comments…yes, i’m logged in https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/42788849df6f0580e2ac032dec3b5a36a8adc9923eda578c7336a08c4803ee22.png

    • Sakonyachen

      Does this also get rid of P-Funk? I will boycott if it does.

      • mfp

        p-funk forever!

  • FZsdaughter

    If only Stupid were a monatizable commodity. The U.S. would be El Dorado and Shangri La put together.

    • NCSteve

      And McMegan McArglebargle would be able to hold down a job for more than the two and a half years it seems to take the average editorial board of Sensible Sober Thoughtful Publications About Politics and Stuff to realize she’s not an asker of provocative questions, but, rather a never-right, always wrong nitwit.

      Fortunately, she makes it easier for them to see that she’s an idiot by having lady parts. Never-right nitwits who are men seem able to conceal their idiocy from editorial boards for years and years.

    • Sakonyachen

      “If only Stupid were a monatizable commodity.”

      You haven’t watched much “Reality” TV I guess.

  • Donkey Option

    Someone probably said this already, but I at least appreciate that she came out and said “it was slavery.” I am so sick of the whole attempt to recast the civil war as being about anything other than slavery and the south’s desire to keep slavery. And in the end, I think the reason for war was different for different people who pushed for it. But there really was a big abolitionist push, and in the end, the confederacy was a traitorous mob of uneducated white people being lied to by their leaders who wanted to keep their financial and economic position by maintaining slavery on their lands. I think individual people who fought for the confederacy bought the lie about states’ rights even back then. But the leadership had a vested interested in keeping slavery, and that was why they seceded. It’s kind of ironic that the exact same dynamic is present in the south over 100 years later.

  • Zyxomma

    … sumter like that was very clever, Dok. Of course, you know that.

  • Maybe

    What I find fascinating is that this fool’s counterarguments would apply pretty well now. Certainly nationalism is weaker than it has been in the past, in large part because of WingNuts who hate the federal government and do everything they can to undermine it. WingNuts go into federal government in order to destroy it–just look at the House Repubs.

  • Teto85

    Ew. I can smell the shit Ms McArdle has for brains through the monitor.

    Did she even make it the 8th grade to take US History?

  • Sitkajo

    The Federal soldiers beseiged by traitorus rebels in Ft Sumter, would have been surprised to find out they were invading a foreign country!

  • Mathew G. Smith

    “The Battle Cry for Freedom” is about the worst example you could have used. The South used a slightly modified version themselves. Which also didn’t mention slavery, come to think of it.

    Of course that always was the tragedy of it. The poor bastards dying in the mud on both sides were there for identical reasons. A rich man’s war and a poor man’s fight as they say.

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