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Last Tuesday, Sonny Perdue heeded the call of the Almighty and got sworn in as Trump’s Secretary of Agriculture. It’s only a shame God didn’t help old Sonny finish his homework on time, so we could have had the benefits of his wise counsel sooner! It takes a couple months to throw a giant blue tarp blind trust over several million dollars of Ag stocks, though. And the Georgia governor has already faced one or twelve ethics violations, so he was being careful. But now the guy best known for leading a prayer vigil to cure Georgia’s drought will share his gift for creative problem-solving with the whole nation. The Lord works in mysterious ways, y’all!

And PTL, because Sonny Boy is ready to hit the ground running! First up, he’ll show mean, old Michelle Obama what’s what by ditching those tyrannical school lunch laws she forced Congress to pass.

The Evil Queen disguised her Let’s Move! plan as a fight against childhood obesity. But patriots who DO YOUR RESEARCH!!! knew it was a Totalitarian plot to conscript American youth into a Soviet regimen of calisthenics and borscht.

Dance, Comrades!! (Official White House Photo by Chuck Kennedy)

The school lunch program began in 1945 as an effort to feed poor kids, aka SOCIALISM. Under Saint Reagan, it achieved holy perfection as a dumping ground for surplus agricultural commodities and captive market for processed food conglomerates.

With lower subsidies, the lunch ladies needed cheaper calories, and they turned to the increasingly efficient processed-food industry to find them. School cafeterias also began to rely more on revenue from so-called competitive foods — snacks and lunches that are not regulated by federal guidelines and “compete” with the regular school lunch on cafeteria à la carte lines. Some districts even struck deals with McDonald’s, Chick-fil-A and other fast-food chains to sell versions of their commercial products directly to school kitchens.

Those were the good old days! Tyson, Hormel, Schwan and ConAgra supplied American kids with all the pizza, fries and nuggets they could eat. So what if 1 in 3 American kids was obese! At least they were happy! Until Michelle Obama ruined everything with the Healthy Hunger-Free Kids Act. Using her superhuman strength and ninja reflexes, the First Lady forced Congress to feed kids vegetables, and limit the fat, salt and sugar in school lunches. Sure, it looked like a bipartisan Act of Congress. But NBC knew who to blame!

The National School Lunch Program provides nutritionally balanced reduced-cost or free lunches to children. Former First Lady Michelle Obama imposed strict nutritional standards on the program as part of her campaign against obesity.

Not content with armtwisting Congress to pass laws, FLOTUS personally visited every school cafeteria in the country to ensure the food was gross and inedible.

Once she even put maggots in some poor kid’s lunch!


Well, that last one was probably a bit too far, Mrs. O.

In fact, kids did get a little less fat after the Health Hunger-Free Kids Act was enacted. But conservatives were sure she deserved none of the credit. As the National Review put it,

Childhood obesity has declined, but that’s no thanks to the first lady’s initiative.

Has First Lady Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move campaign actually reduced childhood obesity rates? That’s a $4.5 billion question whose answer appears to be “No.”

Thank goodness Sonny Perdue is here to save us from these cursed vegetables! Friday he announced a new USDA rule “to provide flexibility for school meals.” Time to bring back those crinkle-cut potassium spears!

No one is sure what Perdue actually means by “flexibility.” Probably pepperoni pizza and a lunchtime prayer vigil to cure diabetes. But he dished up a full plate of the life-sustaining hate that feeds the vampire pundits of wingnutistan. So at least someone’s getting fed!

[NYTimes / USDA Press Release / NBC / WaPo]

Please throw a dollar in the kitty so we can make our famous marshmallow fluff-potato chip sammiches! #ThanksMichelleObama

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  • PubOption

    I assume that he is the Perdue of Perdue chicken.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Surprisingly, that is a totally different family; at least as far as I could research.

  • Mpeg

    “This one time… in bland camp..”

  • Nounverb911
  • Seamus Romney

    What says “AMERICA” better than Triglycerides pegging at 500 mg/dL.

    #MAGA #AdmireThePresidentsFatAss #ChildrenAreDisposable

  • schmannity

    Pork rinds restored to its rightful place as a vegetable.

  • TJ Barke

    Truly this administration is made up of the very worst that America has to offer.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Amen to that.

    • ArgieBargie

      Their platform is simply a bunch of wingnut bumper stickers mangled together.

      • TJ Barke

        If it’s good enough for a selfish, most likely racist, ignoramus’s bumper, it’s good enough to be a government policy.

    • goonemeritus

      Not yet but they working hard to fill those remaining seats.

  • William
    • FlemmishSpy

      Ferengi?

      • The Wanderer

        Ablow doesn’t have the lobes to be a Ferengi female, let alone a Ferengi.

  • William
  • Marceline

    I can almost guarantee that Michelle has no fucks to give about this anymore. These morons can shove all the poison down their gullets they want.

  • schmannity

    These thinner kids were a future demographic landmine for the hoveround industry. Saving American jobs!

    • TJ Barke

      How are they going to be money mines for insulin providers if they don’t all get diabetes? Freedumb!

  • Fancy Meau-Faux

    Back to the good old days when ketchup was a vegetable!

  • William

    Lets never forget. THIS is the voice of “conservative” America who called Michelle Obama fat and classless. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1613923499e13cfb29fa3908f4e1f12c46e91b9a725690662fa33de8fe49168b.png

  • TJ Barke

    Freedumb or death! Or to death as the case may be.

    • TJ Barke

      Oh come on, that was funny!

  • But do they still have those DELICIOUS squishy yeast rolls?

  • memzilla Ω

    BREAKING: Lunch Lady Doris To Head FDA’s School Nutrition Program
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/13af4c2b00bf4d73f8804f2b90e9d63819a3f92c58034188a5a7f19ddb6099a2.jpg

  • Ezio

    Michelle Obama promotes healthy lifestyles for children? EVIL. SHE CAN’T TELL US WHAT TO DO. THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION IS FASCISM!

    Melania Trump sits in a golden tower at taxpayer expense doing nothing all day? So glad we have a real woman and first lady back again!

  • Proud Liberal

    Plus, they want to gut your healthcare….

    “Obesity is one of the biggest drivers of preventable chronic diseases and healthcare costs in the United States. Currently, estimates for these costs range from $147 billion to nearly $210 billion per year.1 In addition, obesity is associated with job absenteeism, costing approximately $4.3 billion annually2 and with lower productivity while at work, costing employers $506 per obese worker per year.3”

    http://stateofobesity.org/healthcare-costs-obesity/

    These guys couldn’t govern their way out of a brown paper bag.

  • Anna Rompage

    It’s just a matter of time before vegetable shortening, and the ̶s̶a̶w̶ ̶d̶u̶s̶t̶ cellulose they sprinkle on pre-shredded cheese food products are considered one or two of the recommenced servings a vegetables

    • TJ Barke

      Hey, sawdust used to be vegetation!

  • Nounverb911

    Oscar Meyer is mobilizing now to feed Amarikkka’s kids weiners…

    https://twitter.com/StephLauren/status/859053362175774720

  • William
  • Oblios_Cap

    When did healthy food become disgusting? Does this mean I should plow my garden under?

    • anon_the_great

      Yes, and replace with a hog farm.

      • Oblios_Cap

        EPA! EPA!

        • Nounverb911

          IOWA! IOWA!

    • MynameisBlarney

      Right after the inauguration and yes.
      Fast/junk food only for us peasants.

    • Ezio

      Since healthy food is for hippie vegan libtards! IT’S ALL ABOUT THAT RED MEAT AND FUNNEL CAKES 24/7.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Corndogs and deep fried butter!

    • BosGrl

      If it was Ivanka or Melania proposing healthy food, they would be hailed as goddesses because who doesn’t want to look like them, white and thin and dead eyes?

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Trump: Ivanka’s got great legs.
        Pence: I think you mean great legumes, sir. For schools.
        Trump: Yes, Ivanka in schoolgirl outfit was what I was thinking of.
        Pence: I think I need some prayer time right now.

        • The Wanderer

          Trump: Hey, Mike? Why do you always take that bottle of lotion with you when you go to pray?
          Pence: I like my skin soft.
          Trump: Oh, okay. And could you please keep the noise down when you pray?

      • SnarkON

        That isn’t healthy eating; that is probably $100,000 worth of lipo and implants.

        • BosGrl

          The idiots don’t get that.

      • therblig

        the social x-rays with the boiled teeth

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Well kids have been hating on vegetables for a long time. One interesting way to combat that is a vegetables first course, and when that’s done, they get the rest of the meal. That seems to work because the little dears will eat veggies when they are hungry.

      Unfortunately, I don’t know how practical this is for school lunches, though that was where the research about this was done, IIRC.

      • cmd resistor

        One day I was chopping some broccoli to put in a salad I was taking to work for lunch. My kid was young enough to be sitting in a high chair eating breakfast and he said he wanted some of that. I’d never even tried broccoli on him but quickly cooked some and he’s loved it ever since, and made it to adulthood. We didn’t eat healthy every meal and did our share of fast food, but did healthy enough to cancel out the bad stuff, maybe.

    • chortlingdingo

      Part of the problem, I think, is that most Americans have absolutely no idea how to cook vegetables. Grow up eating overcooked, mushy, bland vegetables, and it’s no wonder people don’t like them.

  • anon_the_great

    I’m not saying the Republican Party are sworn enemies of the American People, but they sure act like it.

    • Proud Liberal

      I believe they have admitted to being sworn enemies of the American people behind closed doors though.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I’m saying it.

  • William
  • Antonin Dvorak

    Why would those kids assume a) it was Mrs. Obama’s fault personally and not the school and b) that not that the school was possibly skirting regulations and cutting corners which led to their current predicament?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Their parents, perhaps?

    • SnarkON

      Why would you assume it is the school cutting corners and not the school being underfunded and relying on shitty corporations to feed their effectively starving students?

      • Antonin Dvorak

        Fair point. I will amend.

  • Nounverb911

    New official NY Yankee one fisted feeding system!

    https://twitter.com/HuffPostComedy/status/858764725802467328

  • Oblios_Cap

    Looking at Trump and his enormous girth, I can at least give him credit for practicing what he preaches.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      That’s no way to talk about the “healthiest Presidential Candidate in history”, according to words a gastroenterologist typed on a piece of paper.

      • Doug Langley

        To be exact, we know he put his signature on the paper. Anything else, though, is a toss-up.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Hey, as the fat white guy party, we just want to make sure there are more fat white guys in the pipeline.”
    — Sonny Perdue

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    The high-fructose corn syrup industry applauds this decision. Chris Christie will be the new czar of Youth Fitness and Stadium Food.

  • Antonin Dvorak

    I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again:

    Dear Right Wingers,
    Giving yourself Coronary Artery disease on purpose is not dying for the cause.

    Yours,
    A.D.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Yes it is. Don’t listen to that guy.

  • William

    Sure the guys at work look at my lunch and giggle. They like to brag about their weekend beer debauchery and barbacues….so I bought this shirt. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cfc56d73feb6732ac9168120fe072a923555a5a5956a59d5625d44d7edf2fdfd.png

    • Doug Langley

      Nice!

    • SnarkON

      Cuck!

  • Ezio
    • Antonin Dvorak

      See my comment below; re: Coronary Artery Disease.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Say….isn’t this that loser fucknut that lost custody to his children?

      • Edith Prickly

        And who gets amnesia from eating chili?

        • Querolous

          Farted. Passed out from the stench. Hit head on floor.

    • Stulexington

      Having a pleasant day doing stuff, random insult to someone who’s not involved in any way.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      If that fucking piece of human garbage ever has a massive heart attack, I hope it’s on camera. And that someone makes a GIF of it.

      • Doug Langley

        Fun fact: on the original Twilight Zone, they wanted to hire one actor for an episode but worried he had a drinking problem. His agent assured them the actor was on the wagon. So they hired him, but he was just awful. Slurred dialogue, spastic movements, the works. Furious, the producer called the agent and said “You promised me he wasn’t drinking!!” Agent said “To my knowledge, he hasn’t.”

        Turned out they had filmed the guy having a heart attack.

        • vivian

          Paging Pinky Lee, paging Pinky Lee…

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      You know they get off on the idea of licking the sauce off his chest.

    • JohnBull

      I wonder if he’s read the science that links overconsumption of red meat to testicular cancer and erectile dysfunction.

      • wavicles

        “Nope, nope, got nun a that. Not me. Virile like tiger.”

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Classic conflict of science vs. the free market. Nutrition and metabolism are scientific realities. School budgets and food corporation profits are economic realities.

    Guess which ‘reality’ is more important to these assholes?

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    When Michelle O stated publicly that drinking plenty of water each day was good for you, The National Review actually found a writer to sniff “Eh, not necessarily.” And it wasn’t even Jonah Goldberg.

    • TJ Barke

      If only she had told them not to go breath out of a tailpipe….

      • jesterpunk

        She should have told them breathing is good for you. If she did that they would have died just to spite her.

  • Crystalclear12

    Why are we trying to save these idiots again?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      These fuckwits are the reason our healthcare system is upside down.

    • SeeTrain65

      We’re not. We’re trying to keep them from killing us.

    • SnarkON

      Seriously. Let them all shoot each other and die of heart disease.

    • JohnBull

      Because those who survive their first heart attack expect the rest of us to pay for it. Strange how socialism is good in some circumstances.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Michelle Obama is too good for this tubby ass country. I hope she starts her own island country so I can move there.

    And I heard on the internet that chick-fil-a “chicken” is made out of ground up sewer rats and stolen cremation bones.

    • therblig

      bone meal and earwig honey

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        But it’s Jeebus™ approved sewer rats, stolen cremation bones, bone meal, and earwig honey.

        • therblig

          so, kosher but not halal?

    • Helene Logan

      Please, may I move there, too.

  • Chadwells

    Kill Obamacare….kill kids With fatty trash food like Dear Leader eats (KFC and McD’s…like the fat fuck he is) who will now be uninsured under trumpdontcare.

    Got it. Good call, Fuckface.

  • Stulexington

    Oh my fucking god that is some of the most obviously made up bullshit I’ve seen and I’ve seen some blatantly obvious bullshit.

  • William
  • Chadwells

    For the 7 billionth time….Idiocracy has now become a documentary.

    *Brought to you by Carl’s Jr.*

    • OddMan

      “Not Sure” 2020.

  • SnarkON

    True story: Back in probably 1992, I heard an NPR story on practices at Perdue chicken slaughterhouses. It was so disgusting and horrific, so inhumane to both the humans working there and the animals getting slaughtered, that I have not eaten chicken from any source since, and I eventually stopped eating meat. Basically, the Perdue family made me a vegetarian. Thanks, Sonny.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Not to change your mind, but the former gov is not related to those Perdues.

      • SnarkON

        Dammit! You mean I can eat McNuggets now?

        • Antonin Dvorak

          Up to you buddy, it’s your life.

      • beingreleased

        FACTS HAVE NO PLACE IN POLITICAL DISCUSSIONS!!!1!11!!

    • MynameisBlarney

      I stopped eating chicken from places that use industrially farmed chicken.
      The restaurant that I spend waaay too much money at uses organic, locally raised chicken.
      Sure, it’s a bit pricey, but it tastes like actual chicken.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      My parents neighbor, an old farmer, raised capons. Every Christmas, he gave the ‘rents several dressed and halved capons. It was too much for just the two of them, so they spread them around to the kids. After too many years of grocery story chicken, I couldn’t believe how good those things tasted.

      They really did taste like chicken.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Yes, by gawd, we’re going to eliminate every. single. thing. the Obamas did, and if it means our kids are fat, lazy, stupid, and disease-ridden, well, you can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs. And by the way, no more poached eggs – fried in lard was good enough for my daddy, so it’s good enough for these young ‘uns!

    • Ezio

      “But we don’t want fetuses to get killed, so we’re pro life!”

    • William
      • BosGrl

        What happened was that kids who were starving during the Depression grew up to be grandparents who never let us stop eating.

        • Dr Skwerl B-bart MI-6 Expert

          Agreed. Mom was a rail. Dad grew up rich and was fat.

        • William

          Maybe. My grandmother maintained that you should always leave the table a little bit hungry. My mom and dad were those “go have an apple if you’re hungry” parents. As it turns out, poverty during my childhood meant that we could only afford healthier snacks.

          • BosGrl

            It’s now just the opposite.

      • JohnBull

        Republicans. And “freedom.”

        • Proud Liberal

          Correction “freedumb”.

      • Doug Langley

        The good ship Lollipop is what happened.

      • OddMan

        Fast food.

        • cmd resistor

          Did you ever read Fast Food Nation?

          • OddMan

            Yes, liked it. I am a also a fan of Michael Pollan. But really my favorite food book is the classic, “On Food and Cooking: The Science and Lore of the Kitchen” by Harold McGee. I think I have all his books.

  • William
    • JohnBull

      Do their couches double as toilets, like in the movie?

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    I swear to Pete, if the Obama’s ever came out in favor of breathing, these fuckers would all die.

    • Chadwells

      Hmmmm….that’s actually a lovely thought.

  • Nounverb911

    Does trump realize that obese kids won’t be eligible for the military once he starts invading countries?

  • RobKanC

    Thank FSM for this. More obese children means more obese adults means less soldiers for war means more peace. I whole heartedly(pun intended) support this.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Though we don’t need any more evidence of the racist motivations of these knuckle-draggers, it’s pretty telling they didn’t get this het up about Laura Bush’s literacy programs. Literacy is a far greater threat to Republicans voter rolls than kids that don’t develop heart disease and diabetes by the age of 25.

    • RobKanC

      Ssssh. They might be reading this.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Remember how the Obamas, shortly after taking office, railed about the evils of literacy and vowed to stamp it out? Funny… I don’t either.

    • cmd resistor

      Of course none of them were even paying attention to Laura or looking for shit to complain about.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
  • Wuulf

    Makes me wonder if they are going to declare that ketchup is a vegetable again.

    • Chadwells

      They’re still arguing whether it’s a fruit or vegetable.

      • RobKanC

        Well. Did you know that a wheat grain is a fruit?

        • Chadwells

          I did not!! Today I learned something!

          • RobKanC

            We both did. 🙂

        • Erala Contratista

          Dry fruit!

      • Shanzgood

        I remember getting into a big argument about that with my 3rd grade teacher who marked points off a paper because I said tomatoes were fruits. I even showed it to her in a dictionary and she STILL wouldn’t give me my points back so I slashed her tires.

        • Ghenghis McCann

          One of those old style teachers who had the teachers’ edition of textbook with the correct answers in the back. Therefore she was right, so don’t argue.

          • Shanzgood

            I had problems transitioning from alternative hippie schools to public school, mostly to do with authority and fighting (I.e. defending myself against bullies). I got in trouble a LOT for leaving class to go to the bathroom. I thought it was barbaric to have to ask for permission to go pee.

          • Ghenghis McCann

            They should have been glad that you left for the bathroom, rather than staying in the classroom. Much more hygienic, and less smelly.

        • RobKanC

          That escalated fast.

          • Shanzgood

            Well, not really. But it makes me happy to remember it that way.

  • arglebargle

    Surely the children can boil their bootstraps for broth, no?

  • Mavenmaven

    The drone class doesn’t need healthy food, we need undereducated low ambition minimal wage workers for cheap labor, and if they die young and quickly from cardiac/diabetes related issues we don’t have to cover their medical care.

    • Helene Logan

      Exactly. The Karl Rove/Dick Cheney build the party plan.

    • Stulexington

      Yes, better they die young than outlive their usefulness.

  • Shanzgood
    • MynameisBlarney

      I thought that was the pink slime they use for filler in “beef” products.

      Looks like cheap convenience store strawberry ice cream.

      But I bet it smells friggin horrible.

      • SeeTrain65

        Looks more like a glimpse into the Care Bears’ bathroom.

        • The Wanderer

          You are making me laugh inappropriately. Thank you!

          • SeeTrain65

            Pleasure.

      • Shanzgood

        They use white meat for McNuggets now so I have no idea what that pink goo is.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        The last time I ate at McDonald’s, I took a bite of a burger, and the only thing I could taste were the condiments.

        For that reason, that was the last time I ate at McDonald’s.

    • Anna Rompage
      • Shanzgood

        Guck

    • Vincent Ricola

      This picture never fails to make my stomach turn.

    • That video was fake, thank goodness.

      • Shanzgood

        Yeah, I did the Snopes thing first.

  • goonemeritus

    Under the tyranny of the Obama administration the US slipped behind Mexico as the fattest most diabetic nation. Over the next four years I’m sure we will regain our crown.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Make America Grossly Obese Again.

  • Nounverb911
    • SeeTrain65

      “God shed his grace on thee …”

    • The Wanderer
      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        La Jolla? :( I used to go there a lot when I worked in San Diego. Was pretty much my first real experience with living in the states.

        • cmd resistor

          Is this the story where the white guy shot up a pool party where most of the victims were black, holding a gun in one hand and a beer in the other? The one non-black victim was Hispanic.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            So, economically anxious?

          • cmd resistor

            Actually I did read something about him declaring bankruptcy and financial issues. I know when I have financial issues I just go shoot up parties where people not of my ethnic background are attending.

  • Anna Rompage

    Um, chickens don’t have nuggets…

    • Ghenghis McCann

      The cockerels do.

      • SeeTrain65

        “Whoa! Milton Berle there!”

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G0stojwYjI

        • The Wanderer

          Great short.

        • Doug Langley

          . . . came from the Egg of Yesterday.

          • SeeTrain65

            … which in turn came from the Hen of About Three Weeks Ago.

    • SeeTrain65

      Just like the joke from Good Morning, Vietnam:

      Tuan: “Oh, she pour Nuoc Mahmm Noodle Soup with Fish Ball.”
      Cronauer: “Didn’t know they had balls.”
      Tuan: Eat.”
      Cronauer: “Eat? I can’t. It’s still paddling.”

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Every now and again, I wake up in a positive mood and forget for a few moments how astonishingly small-minded, pinche, vindictive, and flat out mean Republicans are. Thanks, Wonkette.

    • Nounverb911

      Anytime.

    • La forza del resistino

      Donald’s staffing choices are akin to a baby sitting service only hiring dingos as staff.

    • Bebecca

      We went to a party on Saturday night and on the way home I told hubby “wow, two whole hours and I didn’t think of Trump once”.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I need to go to a party like that.

    • cmd resistor

      Mine last about as long as it takes me to figure out what day of the week it is and whether I have to get up and go to work.

  • Chadwells

    Say what you want…show all the pink slim you can…..I care not…chicken nuggets are still delicious!!! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4125a2b9dd6afc0950a1f3bb42e6c9f94b2c462ba360abe59d53bd24ef31168a.gif

  • beingreleased

    This post is reminding me of some of The Wonkette’s greatest hits:
    What Disgusting ‘Food’ Stuffs Are Sports Stadiums Shoving Into Your Faces Today?

  • OddMan

    This is yet another of those things that the GOP really has a hard-on for. Go after anything that that black man and his black wife ever touched, breathed on or got close to. Literally whitewashing government regulations to get the black out.

    I will never understand the level of hate and racism that bubbles under the surface of our country.

    • Vincent Ricola

      The first 100 days has been spent trying to wipe the entire 8 years of Obama out of existence. This is a very racist and vindictive asshole way to “govern.”

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I thought for a while we were making racial progress. Turns out the bigotry was just dormant.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Sometimes I find myself wondering why the republicans think it’s a good idea to do the random horrible things they do. Feed children unhealthy lunches while they attend their bible classes at publicly-funded religious madrassas? Make healthcare optional again? Make the air and water poisonous? Then I remember that my mind will never be small and mean enough to grasp it, and I stop wondering and start day-drinking.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      God will look after them.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      And the first to screech about the gummint not helping them out when the ground subsides due to fracking, rupturing the wildcat chemical storage tank, poisoning the river next to the squatter lot in the flood plain where they’ve illegally parked their mobile home. But by all means, let’s get feds off their backs.

    • Bebecca

      Bill Maher asked the same question and all he could come up with is that they are just dicks. did you know we can now kill hibernating bears? lead bullets were once outlawed because eagles eat them and die-that regulation is gone. the republicans are even looking at whether asbestos is really a problem.

  • shastakoala
    • Doug Langley

      Pizza . .. chipped beef . . . mac and cheese. The three main food groups.

      • shastakoala

        And Ranch dressing!

      • cmd resistor

        My kid’s kindergarten had a Thanksgiving potluck and each class got to pick a theme. They picked macaroni and cheese so there was a bunch of it.

  • You know, the greatest missed opportunity of the Obama administration was the fact that they didn’t come out strongly against people playing Russian Roulette with five bullets in the revolver.

    • jesterpunk

      Should we tell them that the Obama’s are strongly in favor of breathing?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • jesterpunk

    Make ketchup a vegetable again. But they are just being really really petty and anything the Obama’s are for they are against no matter what it is.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Just wait until the vending machines go back in – high fructose corn syrup for everyone!

  • Dr Skwerl B-bart MI-6 Expert
  • Alexander Stallwitz

    At this point, i am surprised that Trump hasnt bulldozered Michelle Obama’s vegetable garden and paved it over.

    • Anna Rompage

      Joe Biden gave Donnie a tree that he said grew Big Macs as a housewarming present. Donnie planted it in the garden and is still waiting for the first harvest

      • Shanzgood

        That is so Biden-meme!

      • Doug Langley

        M*A*S*H: “Don’t throw away that applesauce! Apples don’t grow on trees, you know!”

    • wavicles

      Hasn’t he?

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        Wouldnt surpise me if it wasnt a putting green already . I think Melannia Trump said she would keep it through

        • wavicles

          All of a sudden there’s 48 gophers in it.
          (cheaper by the dozen)

        • cmd resistor

          That’s the only thing I ever read about Melania that I liked. She put out some pro-garden statement after taking Mrs. Abe to see the Japanese Gardens in Palm Beach and she said she looked forward to working with the White House Garden. Not to mention Michelle put up some permanent type fixtures before leaving that would make it harder to pave over, and I think the National Parks Service (?) is supposed to maintain it, with a grant from some seed company.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Which means that she’ll never know whether Donnie bulldozed it or not. Can’t see the White House from NYC.

  • janecita

    This is the Republican plan in a nutshell, Betsy DeVos will make sure that the kids become too stupid to think for themselves. Pardue will make sure that the are too fat to run. When the North Koreans invade us, they will be used as human shields.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      I don’t think lard will stop a speeding bullet but healthcare cost will go down if we shoot the fat kids.

    • chortlingdingo

      When will y’all understand that only wealthy people deserve to live? If you can’t afford to feed your children organic, free-range, artisan foods, then you and your children should die. Sheesh!

    • Erala Contratista

      Or lunch

  • Dr Skwerl B-bart MI-6 Expert
    • Stulexington

      Wrong! It’s fruit puree!

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        Smoothie!

  • La forza del resistino

    1st to 4th graders can see Nurse Smith for their after lunch insulin shots and 5th – 8th will See Nurse Jones.

    • La forza del resistino

      apologies for idiotic post of the day. what school would have 2 nurses or even 1?

      • Antonin Dvorak

        The local school system where I live not only requires a nurse by that nurse must be an actual RN; instead of a random para. It is mostly to stave off lawsuits.

      • chortlingdingo

        When I was in HS, I had a throat infection that came back after my antibiotics course, and I went to the nurse’s office where we found I had a 103 temperature. I had come from a building across the campus, so she made me sit and wait for 20 minutes because “walking across campus can raise your temperature.”

        When she checked again, it had gone up to 104, and then she finally called my mom.

        Same lady also argued with me that tetanus shots didn’t cause a reaction, despite the giant, red lump at the exact spot where I had had a tetanus the day before.

        Not sure if they have real nurses there now. It has been almost 11 years.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Also too, I call utter bullshit on those so-called “school lunches” pictured in the stupid tweets. It’s just too easy to get a “lunch tray” and put whatever your twisted not-funny moron thinks is funny on it and then pretend it came from a school. I don’t care how bad your school lunch is, there is NO WAY it is made of a fish under a bun.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      A raw fish if you look closely.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      When I served as a School Board Secretary/Recorder, prior to Board Meetings we would be fed the same food that we provided to the students. It wasn’t at all bad – my only complaint was it was usually a little bland (since you can’t season it too much).

    • h4rr4r

      Have you never been in a US school?

      These lunches are totally in line with what I saw 20 years ago.

    • Jenny

      The only place I can see that happening is Alaska. But odds are there were a lot more choices, that’s all they grabbed.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      It is during Lent at the Catholic schools.

    • cmd resistor

      The maggot, however, surely she is responsible for.

      • Erala Contratista

        More like a moth caterpillar, very common in veg., sorry guys but true. Get lots in broccoli.
        They ate broccoli and probably taste like it too, also. They are often more or less the same color as the veg. they lived on.
        We’ve all eaten our share.
        A vegan protien, kind of…….

  • goonemeritus

    It’s amazing how many things you can add high fructose corn syrup too if you really try.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I rarely have actually ‘laughed out loud’ when I type LOL. But I sure did just now.

    • h4rr4r

      The same amount of things you can add organic pear concentrate to.

      They play this same game up and down the processed food market.

  • Jenny

    School lunches always were horrible back in my youths, but you never noticed cuz 1) hungry 2) southern style pepper gravy covered everything. Eating nuggets or ground up garbage?? Who knows, there is gravy on it.

    Also too, I have had to eat michelle obama imposed lunches with my kids, on take your mom to school days or whatever. There’s like 4 different menus a day! So weird, but my kids liked them and yeah they aren’t that bad. They even steam the veggies now! Not from a 10lb can.

    • Jennifer R

      If you let your kid have candy cereal for breakfast and carby trash for dinner, listening to them bitch about having to eat broccoli at lunch sounds criminal. How long until we have a 50% childhood obesity rate? 50% childhood diabetes rate? I know that stigginit is important and all, but at some point survival instincts have to kick in right? I mean otherwise how did they live long enough to breed in the first place.

      • h4rr4r

        They only need to live to their 20s.

  • Bill D. Burger

    New Trump Cabinet position: Secretary of School Lunches
    ___ Cookie Monster is a shoo in!

    • Shanzgood

      Not Chris Christie?

    • cmd resistor

      I did some volunteer work at my kid’s school during the later Bush years and partook of the school lunches now and again. Hamburgers, cheeseburgers, some kind chicken sandwiches, bad pizza. There was a salad bar of sorts. The best things on the menu were big fat cookies that were made onsite. Overall fairly gross. I never got to eat after the Tyrant Michelle took over.

  • Chadwells

    Is it weird that I’m kind of rooting for Un?

    I’m at the point…in today’s political cluster fuck…where I welcome the cold embrace of nuclear winter.

    I think humankind needs a do over.

    Just my doom and gloom thought of the day. Not to be taken seriously…so don’t get your panties in a bunch.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fcb6f2032fef2ad0359084ba765d525b8bfa66ee227a1d099acfd39ca1820862.gif https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/41eae6972a201aed64c1cf8838baed19b66efe5ee8b63fdbdc6322067712d2c8.gif

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I’ll bunch my damn panties if I want to!

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        You look really cute in bunched panties.

    • BosGrl

      Jeez, give us a chance to bunch before you get all defensive!

  • Reximus

    LOLLLL

    Scumbag Duterte just blew off Trumpie’s WH invite “Too Busy”

    http://thehill.com/policy/international/331356-duterte-on-trumps-white-house-invitation-im-tied-up

    • TJ Barke

      Good, but it’s still a fucking travesty that he was invited.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Trump couldn’t meet his high standards, huh?

      bwwwahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

      • Reximus

        Best part is…he’s keeping his invite with Poots

        • Jennifer R

          Damn, that IS a masterstroke.

    • Jennifer R

      Getting punked by the guy who is gonna be violently overthrown and dead body will be pulled through the streets in two years has to hurt our country’s social standing.

    • NastyBossetti

      Well, that’s embarrassing.

  • Wild Cat

    I’m fine with this, as long as we don’t go with Lindsay Graham’s “Linda Lovelace Lunch Special” for the kids.

    • Doug Langley

      It’s enough to make you gag.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      That’s Milo’s dietary recommendation.

  • Nockular cavity

    “She picked the incredibly controversial topic of…” school lunches? THAT’S what they call “incredibly controversial?” Get. A. Fucking. Life.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Whew! For a moment I was afraid those were airline menus being served to our brave Road Warriors in Sales.
    https://media2.giphy.com/media/61loJm0ZYPugw/200w_s.gif

    • Doug Langley

      For the love of humanity, don’t give United ideas.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    OT, I know, but…sweet bleeding Jesus:

    I mean, had Andrew Jackson been a little later, you wouldn’t have had the Civil War. He was a very tough person, but he had a big heart. He was really angry that he saw what was happening with regard to the Civil War. He said, “There’s no reason for this.” People don’t realize, you know, the Civil War — if you think about it, why? People don’t ask that question, but why was there a Civil War? Why could that one not have been worked out?

    Has anyone ever asked why there was a Civil War? Surely it’s a conversation Americans need to have.
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/05/completely-inept-cnn-pundit-says-too-late-for-trump-to-save-presidency-after-bizarre-civil-war-remarks/?comments=disqus

    • BosGrl

      I’m done.

    • Wild Cat

      Well, when CNN Pundits talk, normal people go hissin’.

    • Anna Rompage

      Andrew Jackson, Harriet Tubman & Fredrick Douglas walk into a bar….

      • Ricky Gay

        Harriet gets a pussgrab, Frederick is led to the kitchen, and Andrew is welcomed to the Mar a Lago.

    • Bebecca

      OMG I never thought to ask.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      “People don’t ask that question.” Just every American History department and Civil War buff ever. And there are no answers, aside from the thousands of published books and articles on the subject. Not one of which he has read.

      I’m getting numb to his idiocy. That’s not good, is it?

    • Doug Langley

      When Jackson was President, there was no Civil War, so . . . QED?

      • cmd resistor

        George Washington, either.

    • snigsy

      If you think about it, why? Why is there a Donald Trump?

      • Opalescent Riddles

        People don’t ask that question, but why was there a Dronald Dump? Why could that one not have been worked out?

    • NastyBossetti

      It was certainly never a topic of conversation in any of the schools I attended over the course of my life. I did not have to write essays on tests every damn year outlining the causes of the Civil War. It’s almost like the whole thing never even happened.

    • chortlingdingo

      Oh my god, why haven’t we ever wondered about the Civil War? Did you also know that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican? I don’t think anyone really knows that!

  • Anna Rompage

    It’s just a matter of time before this admin proposes that the kids getting supplemented/free lunches should be forced to wear a giant funny dunce hat during lunch period… You know, just to try to get them to stop being so lazy and humiliating them for mooching off of the system..

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Yeah, but is anyone credible on the other side?

    https://twitter.com/JesseFFerguson/status/859064917202259971

  • Bebecca

    Hubby and I decided to eat much more healthfully about 10 years ago. I am living proof that food can be both healthy and delicious and it doesn’t take that much effort to do both.

    • Jennifer R

      The highest form of stiggin it is causing massive life altering damage to your own body while doing it.

    • RadFacJack Tenhet

      So am I. A lot of meds I’m on have dietary restrictions and some of them even raise blood sugar. We had to start eating healthier for those reasons. My blood sugar is down to 5.9% and I am way healthier thanks to a better diet and very, very little, if ever any, processed foods.

      The thing I love the most these days is pureed, fresh cauliflower with lemon juice. No carbs and no starch. It’s better for me than mashed taters and I just love it!

  • House0fTheBlueLights
  • Oblios_Cap

    If he continues gaining weight at this rate, we’ll be making jokes about his tiny head:
    https://static01.nyt.com/images/2017/05/02/us/02health/02health-master768.jpg

    • RadFacJack Tenhet

      “Healthiest president in history.”

  • jesterpunk
    • Ghenghis McCann

      Don’t people who want to become US citizens have to know things like the cause of the Civil War? How lucky for Trump that he was one already.

      • jesterpunk

        Yes they do, Trump wouldnt be able to pass a 5th grade history test let alone the immigration test. Here is the practice test.

        https://my.uscis.gov/en/prep/test/civics/view

        • Ghenghis McCann

          Hey, I got them all right. Unfortunately I wouldn’t want to join any club that would have me as a member.

          • jesterpunk

            Damn, you know what that means right? You are too qualified to ever run as a Republican for any office anywhere.

        • chortlingdingo

          I got ’em all too. It’s sad that there are Americans who don’t know the answers to those questions.

          • jesterpunk

            You also not qualified to run as a republican for any office.

        • Contemplative Ron

          Hell, I got 19 out of 20 and I’m a filthy foreigner.

      • Jimmy R

        Slightly O/T:

        Did “Carmine” slip Malaria the answers? Or was it Bo Dietl?

    • SeeTrain65

      Scorched earth?

    • Jenny

      People who think Andrew Jackson was a good president are usually the worst assholes and should be avoided.

    • RadFacJack Tenhet

      Really? People “don’t ask why was there a civil war”? Literally everybody asks that question all the damned time.

      “It can’t get any dumber”– America

      “Hold my beer.”– 45

      • jesterpunk

        The worst part is he doesnt drink at all. That just makes it even worse.

        • RadFacJack Tenhet

          But aren’t dry drunks the worst? Dry drunks are always pissed off at the world all the time.

      • CripesAmighty

        America: “Hold mah beer” (casts vote).

  • snigsy

    And once the children are nicely fattened up, they can be sold as tasty edibles.

    • RadFacJack Tenhet

      That’s a very modest proposal.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Look, you know Republicans. Tax cuts for the grown ups, junk food for the kids. Everyone’s fat and happy.

  • RadFacJack Tenhet

    So, quick question for everyone to ponder and maybe someone to answer.

    What costs more? Soaring type 2 diabetes rates or healthy lunches?

    That is all.

  • Michael Smith

    Also, in order to earn their lunch each student will be asked the following question daily: “Did you read your history lesson today?” to which they will be required to respond “History? America is the greatest country in the history of the world. What else do I need to know?”

    • Bebecca

      Did you see The Newsroom on HBO? The series started on that very premise. I love that show, I’ve watched all three seasons several times.

  • NastyBossetti

    Timely. My 16 year old nephew was just saying yesterday how Michelle Obama ruined his school lunches.

  • Something tells me that the pictures of lunches up there- along with the inedible meme- is complete bullshit.
    I’ve seen the school lunches, could be even healthier far as I am concerned. Love how concerned the wingnuts are for The Children!!!! ™

    • MizzMazz

      Yeah, they lie with their anti-choice posters, why wouldn’t they lie with school food pics? Lying just comes naturally to them.

  • Serai 1

    I knew I shouldn’t read any of the articles. This is getting too disheartening and depressing. I’m sticking to the Open Thread and weekend silliness from now on. I can’t take reading about this hateful, sinful, disgusting bastardry anymore.

    • BrendaKay

      I have had to take breaks from the daily posts too. Some days you just need to live without news and work on replenishing stores of hope for a better tomorrow.

  • Indivisible Snark Tank

    I’m too lazy to look through all the posts, so I’m posting this just in case:

    http://youtu.be/vH8jAjtvc10

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    Its more cost effective to fat shame the little prokers into losing weight. Otherwise Presnit Donald won’t want to grab your pussy in 10 years.

  • RadFacJack Tenhet

    “When her muscles start relaxin’
    Up the hill goes Andrew Jackson!”

    Not school lunch related, but stupid thing stupid 45 said stupidly, as usual.

    • For the culturally deprived:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4zRe_wvJw8

      • RadFacJack Tenhet

        I had to play it! The Marx brothers every day of the week and twice on Sunday.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        My cousin’s 18 year old grand-daughter told me she had got a tattoo. She regretted telling me when I started singing that song.

      • Erala Contratista

        My MIL and I loved this song!

  • PsycWench

    Whattaya expect from a POTUS who orders steak well-done and eats it with ketchup?

    • RadFacJack Tenhet

      Well, in his defense, he’s used to meat so nasty that it HAS to be cooked well done or it’d kill a person.

    • cmd resistor

      And let’s not forget that catsup is a vegetable.

  • RadFacJack Tenhet

    This is really close to what my school lunches looked like in the 80’s

    Does that look edible at all? There was even sugar added to the corn. I remember that because it was way too sweet for me.

    I couldn’t get the picture to load. Oh well.

  • RadFacJack Tenhet
    • Tis what I thought, the pics up there are made up.
      Cute.
      Anti lunch program propaganda. What patriots. So much brave wow.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I’m glad they’ve gone with cups instead of salad bars because that’s WHY kids don’t want to eat the vegetables there, they don’t trust their fellow students or cafeteria workers. (But also that’s really carb heavy, where is the protein???)

      • Fidel Jack Tenhet

        There’s little to no protein and very heavy carbs for such a sedentary schedule. They literally fed us like we were doing heavy labor while sitting at a desk all day. i assure you, it was awful.

    • Contemplative Ron

      I love how the cookie had to be LABELED ‘cookie.

      • Fidel Jack Tenhet

        I know! Mine was never labelled “cookie” or even wrapped in anything. It was a stale patty of dough with waxy symbols meant to be chocolate chips. It was just awful (I’m getting a lot of mileage out of the word ‘awful’ lately.

        • Contemplative Ron

          Well, ‘awful’ applies to so many things these days.

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    Don’t let Mooshell turn our youg patriots into flaming Frenchies.
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tom-conrad-/michael-moores-new-movie-_b_9385504.html

    • RadFacJack Tenhet

      It wouldn’t surprise me if that’s their actual logic. “Eating healthy makes you gay”. They’re galactically stupid enough to think that.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Erm, my school lunches (which pre-date the Obama administration) weren’t exactly catered gourmet feasts, wingnuts…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/30813fd98c2488f8b9aef0781449210edd2712f0430a3488ed75ec866d7ce425.jpg

    • Courser_Resistance

      TrueDat!

      I went to a pretty affluent high school and our school lunches were nothing to write home about. But this was back in the 70’s. And my first job was in the dishroom of that high school. Man, was that a character-builder. It was my own idea though, so… I knew I could quit anytime I wanted to. I didn’t.

      • cmd resistor

        Everyone should work in food service for at least some period of time. For lots of reasons, many of which build character.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Gross mac and cheese, gross “fish sticks” gross pizza, canned vegetables, and little cartons of milk. The cool kids had bag lunches with Twinkies, Ding Dongs, and HoHo’s.

      • cats530

        The fish sticks were the worst. Tasted like those little stones you get in your tonsils sometimes. Absolutely inedible.

      • cmd resistor

        I do remember in public high school (mid-seventies) they had really good chocolate milkshakes in our cafeteria. That’s kind of all I remember but they were great.

  • nightmoth

    Don’t need to tell you Wonkers this, but I had a friend who did secretarial work at one of those food factories where they press bits of leftover chicken bits into “chicken nuggets” and she swore off chicken for a long time after that. Also, thanks, south Georgia rednecks, for Sonny Perdue. When your kids get juvenile diabetes and aren’t covered by insurance, THEN will you realize that you are NOT competent to vote?

    • I wrote a college paper about the chicken industry years ago, and the research turned me off all chicken for a long time.

      • Bitter Scribe

        I worked for years for a trade magazine that covered the food processing industry. Every month I visited a different plant. After I had been to about three dozen, I listed them all and put a check mark next to the ones that made food I would actually consider eating. Total check marks: three.

  • mancityRed6

    When I worked at a Pizza Hut way back in the early ’90s, we made pizzas that went to the high school. They only required 2/3 the amount of cheese as a regular pizza.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Just keep repeating “The Healthy Option.”

    • Contemplative Ron

      What’s 2/3 of none?

  • Lefty Frizzell

    I’ll tell you what’s disgusting:

    So many fat corporate fucks and brainless bigoted assholes sounding so fucking gleeful about taking healthy lunches away from their own kids.

    That sure showed Michelle eh? Damn right! Remember that and chuckle at the sweet revenge when your kid’s too fat for a fucking plane seat, you redneck fucks.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Well, cruelty & mockery is now the official State Sport so… yeah

      “Let’s piss on EVERY LAST THING the Libtards like and then take an enormous shit on the World Stage by courting authoritarian genocidal maniacs”

      How do ya like that LIBTARDS!! That’s what you get for electing a fucking BLACK MAN PRESIDENT.

      “We will destroy everything you love, rape and harass your women, starve and cripple your children. Because we can and Obama shoved stuff down our throats we didn’t like. Turnabout’s fair play! Trump is our God Emperor”

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        You’re absolutely right–this is primitive, barbarian “triumph”–enacted by primitive, ignorant barbarians.

        • Lynnrreel

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      • Grokenstein

        I wouldn’t be even slightly surprised if the next step were to require every school to hire bullies to slap those little cheese sandwiches out of the poor kids’ hands and into the garbage. Just to show ’em.

        We have to put a stop to this.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Maybe it makes sense in some twisted way, but the same bunch who hate healthy school lunches are also into fat shaming.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I’m really gonna laugh when those kids discover that their asshole parents were the ones responsible for also destroying the ACA- just in time for them to deal with the cost of their diabetes and heart disease

      • Paul

        Those kids won’t figure it out. Too fucking dumb to start and now that Betsy DeVos is in charge of edumacation, things ain’t looking up for them.
        Hell, they’d have to have a class in history and one in civics to be capable of critical thinking. THAT certainly is not going to happen. I’d say Ma and Pa Goober are safe.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        The parents will justify it with “see what they made us do?” and the kids will buy it.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    I was in school for a bit after that passed and it hasn’t stopped schools from serving pizza or french fries. They’ve just got a bit better with balancing the meal.

  • cats530

    So how much will the chicken king, Sonny Perdue, make from “big gubmint” (the schools purchasing his schlock) by pushing his craptacular chicken nuggets?

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      He ain’t related to the chicken-conglomerate Perdue’s, so at least there’s that.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Besides, the chicken nuggets that the kids will be eating will come from China and likely won’t have any actual chicken in them…

        • Shoto

          To be fair, the chicken nuggets might actually contain some artificial, chicken-like food substance. So that’s pretty good, right?

          • Erala Contratista

            So does kibble.

        • cats530

          Yes, loaded with delicious and nutritious melamine.

          • javadavis

            I thought they used cardboard in food meant for human consumption. Mmmm, fiber.

      • cats530

        Whew that’s good. But I did read a bit more about him and he’s a hog farmer. Deep-fried pork McNuggets anyone? : )

        • VirginiaLady

          McRiblets and sausage in a pancake on a stick. Lipitor approved.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    As an official oldz, I have to wonder about these people’s memories. Because I remember school lunches sucking long before Obama got elected to anything. In fact, he was probably eating the same lunches in his school in Hawaii or Kenya or wherever at that time. The idea that school lunches were ever tasty is just more conservative bullshit.

    • Shoto
    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      The entire thing is conservative bullshit. People have tried and tried to improve school lunches for years. In Berkeley, my home town, Alice Waters (Chez Panisse) started a wonderful program where she works with the schools to grow gardens and then teaches the kids to cook fresh food, hugely successful. It’s been replicated all over the country. Michelle made a concerted effort to make school lunches healthy and edible. The idea that somehow this made school lunches “disgusting” is a simple, grotesque, racist lie. It’s coded dog whistling–you have a lunch prepared by a BLACK LADY, disgusting! Not even coded.

    • Hardly Ideal

      Hell, as recently as the turn of the century, my friends and I would joke about the cream cheese bagel breakfast. “Take a bite. (chomps on bagel) Take a swig. (suck on packet of cream cheese)”

  • Shoto

    “Using her superhuman strength and ninja reflexes, the First Lady forced Congress to feed kids vegetables, and limit the fat, salt and sugar in school lunches.”

    Why does Michelle Obama hate fat, grease, lard and America?

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Also being chopped – the “Let Girls Learn” initiative.
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/859095326623506433

    • Contemplative Ron

      Why single out girls? They’d be happiest if NOBODY learned.

      • Grokenstein

        And it’d be “equality”! Everybody wins!!

    • VirginiaLady

      Girls learn? Not in my Murikan schools they won’t! Fuck all you monsters in DC.

    • Pisto75666

      Because of COURSE they are. *sigh*

    • Truly Madly Derply

      Yeah, it’s a double whammy; he can lash back at the Obamas and stick it to Hillary at the same time, since she famously said “I believe the rights of women and girls is the unfinished business of the 21st century.” He’s just going down a checklist of Obama accomplishments and ticking them off due to his deeply held personal conviction (that Obama made fun of him in 2011 and he has to PAY).

    • phoenix00

      Of course Trump has the most respect for women! He can’t go into their dressing rooms to leer at them if they’re in school!

  • chascates

    Trump’s evangelical base is just fine with morbidly obese people; just drive around any church Sunday around noon as they waddle out to their cars to hit Golden Corral.

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      I would bet real money theres a correlation between how fat you are and voting for Turmp.

      • Teecha

        I’m fat and the leftiest liberal you could hope to meet. I just really like cake.

        • Bee-Doo

          Me too. And cookies.

  • Iam Reading

    It is now impossible for me to not be homicidally angry with trump voters. Fortunately, I don’t know any who will admit they voted for him.

    • William

      My Dad said that after VE day, they couldn’t find a single person who admitted to being a member of the Nazi party in Germany.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        Apparently the entire population of France was in the resistance, too.

  • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

    They really, really love to use the word “disgusting” whenever women are involved, don’t they?

    • Grokenstein

      BUT THEY BLEED FROM THEIR WHEREVERS

  • mardam422

    And when the momentary decrease in childhood obesity (that wasn’t do to anything MO did) reverses, I wonder how they’ll blame our former FLOTUS.

  • Teecha

    What a fucking bitch, using her position as First Lady to try and make life better for young people. And she obviously planned it so that local lunch providers did a terrible job so that everyone would criticise her and want to eat fast food instead. #thanksMichelleObama.

    When celeb chef Jamie Oliver tried to provide decent, cheap and nutritious school dinners in the UK, there were parents passing cheap and nasty burgers through the school fence to their poorly fed and arsey offspring. Twats.

    • katkelly57

      I knew someone who was a lunch lady and she bitched and moaned about the J.O. program coming into the school district…how it was soooooooo much work and a pain in the ass….how terrible it was going to be, blah blah fucking blah.

      She was pissed that she wasn’t going to be able to bring home all the leftover hockey puck burgers and pieces parts nuggets anymore.

      She’d probably have a coronary if she had to serve a school lunch like they do in Japan.

      https://www.citylab.com/navigator/2017/03/the-school-lunch-program-putting-all-others-to-shame/519792/

      • Grokenstein

        Sounds like Lunch Lady’s going to have a coronary regardless.

        But thank you for that link. It’s nice to read about a country whose citizens take care of their children and give a damn about the future of their nation. I guess that’s why some countries educate their kids instead of feeding them whitewashed history and using loyalty oaths and prayer to isolate “troublemakers.”

        • katkelly57

          She’ll have the coronary or a breakdown….

          YQW…when I was a kid our public school lunch was ok from what I remember…when I went to caflik school,we had made from scratch lunches…my favorite when it was cold weather was the Croatian rice soup (Italian/Sicilian/Irish/Croatian neighborhood)…I would had that by the gallon if they let me…also, they made the best butter cookies evah!

          Kids need proper nutrition to learn…many of them don’t get it at home and depend on a school lunch to give it to them, so they end up failing on both ends….nutritionally and academically.

          As for pledges, prayers and all that other crapola….get rid of it.

    • Nodrama4mama

      The thing is that kids can have adventurous palates. Yes, my kids do eat chicken fingers, but they also eat calamari and have an affinity for stinky cheeses and are total bread snobs. If you offer kids vegetables enough they will eventually eat them. Will they also eat junk? Of course, but thats what the balance is for.

  • pianoplayer1

    I am a substitute teacher. School lunches are inedible.

    • Spurning Beer

      I’m a 64-year old. School lunches were always inedible.

  • jaspersdad

    I’m reading that the trumpie administration is also cancelling the ‘Let Girls Learn” program initiated by Michelle Obama.

    Oops, should have read further down…

  • Poly_Ester

    Those lunch examples look like malicious compliance to me. Either that or a thoroughly incapable cafeteria staff.

  • Nicholas Jacob Underwood

    I will say that the gross food under the Obama lunch program was the result of the gov saying schools had to make lunch healthier, without giving them the extra funding to do so. The fact is, making healthy food that is actually edible to a child or teenager (whose taste buds really are different than adults) requires quality ingredients and skilled cooks that the schools couldn’t afford, thus the Obama lunch horror stories.

  • tehbaddr

    Just in case it hasn’t already been posted down thread, and I’m a lazy sod what can’t be arsed to load all the comments that are not allowed!

    http://www.sickchirpse.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/fat-kid-mcdonalds-769134-769471.jpeg

  • tegrat

    Actually the most terrifying words are “I’m a Republican and I’m here to govern.”

  • Nodrama4mama

    The thing with most school lunches is that they are not prepared in the individual school cafeteria. They are produced enmasse and brought to each school. Preparing fresh food at most schools does not even happen.

    My son eats the lunches at the HS, but he has the metabolism of a 16 year old boy and a cast iron stomach.

    My 11 year old hasn’t touched a school lunch in years, and unless she gets on a Pinterest kick, her lunches are pretty easy. She likes turkey sandwiches, or salads with chicken, or if the weather is cool, a cheese and cracker plate with cut up cucumbers and fruit. I also figure that its just lunch and I cram the nutrition in at breakfast and dinner. I explain to the kids that I am contractually obligated to provide them with produce at every meal, and they are contractually obligated to eat it if they are with me.

    They also both hate McDonalds so I am lucky there.

  • javadavis

    How did Michelle have time for anything else what with running all over the country personally preparing all those school lunches?

  • TootsStansbury

    Well, it will prepare the little tykes for the food in the for profit prison / slave labor camps.

  • pixeloid

    What happened to lunches in the first place? When I went to school in the 70s, school cafeterias didn’t have burgers, fries, nuggets, pizza and such all the time. There were no flavored milks or sodas. They just had standard cafeteria food which was typically meat, starch (potatoes, pasta, rice, bread), vegetables and some kind of optional desert. Junk food like pizza or sloppy joes was only a rare treat.
    Anyway, my point is, why don’t they just go back to having cafeterias serve typical cafeteria fare instead of junk food buffets?

    • phoenix00

      Because that’s not as profitable!

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Why the hell are we even feeding kids at school? Don’t you know that, if you feed them, they’ll just come back tomorrow expecting more?

  • Annie Towne

    Great. Now I’m craving French Fries.

  • motmelere

    No real surprise that conservatives are gleefully shitting on children’s plates and calling it nutrition; they’ve been pissing in our faces for 35 years while calling it a viable economic theory.

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    Gawdz, these people are so fucking petty.

    • Keith Taylor

      Are they ever. But besides being petty and hating the Obamas, it’s possible Donald Trump won’t be content until all America is fatter and uglier than he is … so that he’ll look handsome and suave. Someone should inform him to his face that even that wouldn’t bring it about.

  • Vavoline Marie Johnson

    This is trumps “Let’s make America fat again” program. So, I give up…. I’m going into hibernation for the next 4 yrs

  • Teto85

    Even our dogs miss the Obamas. The cats not so much, but are willing to hack up a hairball or leave a deuce in Melania’s shoes.

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