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We like this picture. Makes knowing what she’s like really easy.

Oh, goody! In another of the special elections to replace a member of Congress elevated to the Trump administration, one Republican candidate is working her hardest to out-wingnut all the rest. Meet South Carolina’s Sheri Few, the nice lady pictured above with two of the main planks in her campaign to fill the seat Mick Mulvaney left open when he went off to be the director of the Office of Management and Budget. But while any ol’ nut can pose with an AR-15 and a flag, Ms. Few has another hobbyhorse she thinks she can ride to Washington: wingnut butthurt over the removal of Confederate flags and memorials from public places. You might think she’d see the cognitive disconnect of posing with a gigantic flag of the USA and arguing in favor of preserving public monuments to a bunch of traitors who went to war with people flying an earlier version of that flag with fewer stars, but it doesn’t sound like Ms. Few is especially good at making such subtle distinctions.

In a wonderfully bad campaign ad aimed at getting her the GOP nomination for S.C.’s Fifth Congressional District, Few castigates “weak politicians” who ignorantly think the Confederate flag somehow had something to do with the 2015 massacre at Emanuel AME church, just because the white-supremacist gunman happened to pose a whole bunch with that flag, as have any number of Klansmen and Nazis and other people who haven’t yet understood Confederate imagery is about heritage, not hate.

Sort of have to wonder whether her campaign disabled comments on the YouTube video due to comments from people who oppose the Few’s message, or because too many supporters let their enthusiasm for keeping the blacks in their place run away with them.

Few told The Guardian that if she’s elected to Congress, she’ll focus on “fighting the destruction of every bit of Confederate memorabilia in our country,” which may not actually be quite enough to sustain a career in the House. Just wait til she finds out she’ll also have to think about ethanol subsidies and bridges and all sorts of things that don’t involve the people who lost an insurrection 150 years ago.

Even so, Few is absolutely committed to preserving a memorial to the Confederacy on the grounds of the South Carolina statehouse, which still stands after former Gov. Nikki Haley ordered the removal of the Treason Flag. Nobody in state government is actually trying to get rid of the Confederate monument, but if it does get removed, says Few, then by golly it would only be fair to pull down another monument to the victims of slavery. In fact, since the slavery monument was installed as part of a 2001 compromise that moved the Treason Flag from a pole on top of the statehouse to the lawn, that stupid slave monument is already getting an unfair advantage since the flag came down:

“So that issue had supposedly already been settled,” Few said.

“So then there’s this huge monument to African Americans that is still on the statehouse grounds.

“And, you know, why hasn’t anyone called for the removal of that? Because that was a part of the compromise. So that doesn’t seem fair, does it?”

And by gosh, if the Confederacy monument is removed, then the monument to the African-Americans — which we suspect Few may spell with two g‘s in private — would absolutely need to come down, since if we’re not going to memorialize the people who fought to preserve slavery, then it would be unfair to still remember the people who were enslaved. It’s just logic!

Few, since 2010 a perennial loser of elections for the state legislature, had a couple of specific people in mind with that line about “cowardly politicians”: state reps Tommy Pope and Ralph Norman, her competitors for the GOP nomination in the special election. Both voted to remove the Confederate flag from the Statehouse grounds; Few told the Guardian those votes were “a kneejerk, politically correct decision in response to the horrible shooting in Charleston.”

Happily, Few doesn’t yet appear to be getting traction with her pro-Confederate monomania; the most recent poll — conducted for her own campaign in late February — has her running third for the May 2 Republican primary behind Pope and Norman. If none of the six Republicans gets a majority, the top two candidates would go to a May 16 runoff. Even in Few’s polling, Pope is in the lead with 19 points, but with over half of voters undecided a month ago, perhaps her pandering to fans of the Lost Cause will help her reach the coveted second-place position for the runoff. The actual election for Mulvaney’s former seat will be held June 20.

And if nothing else, she can perhaps start a Flags-n-Guns club with ousted Nevada assemblywoman and failed Congressional candidate Michele Fiore.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click the “Donate” linky below to help us continue not buying any Confederate memorabilia.

[Guardian / Sheri Few for Congress / Ballotpedia]

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  • Proud Liberal

    Far too Few brain cells….

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    Divine? Is that you? You really lost weight!

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    I don’t like to shame, buuuuut…

    She looks like a swine version of Pepe the Frog.

    https://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/sheri-few-gun-n-flag-737×420.jpg

  • William
  • memzilla Ω

    Why won’t Donald Drumpf condemn Radical Confederic Terrism?

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Isn’t the capitol dome a monument to slavery now?

  • dslindc

    Oh. Bless her heart (in the judgey, fuck-you, southern way).

  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

    God these people are dumb. I am so out of empathy for the willfully idiotic.

  • btwbfdimho

    She approved her own message…
    Very few…

  • DainBramage

    I thought these nuts didn’t acknowledge that the Confederacy was all about slavery. So why would the removal of a monument to the Confederacy trigger a removal of a monument to the victims of slavery?

  • proudgrampa

    pew pew Few.

  • Master Contrail Program

    Things went bad for Kitty Foreman after Eric went to Africa and they moved from Wisconsin. Even Red is afraid of her now.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    We like this picture. Makes knowing what she’s like really easy.

    She seems nice stabby fiery.

  • schmannity

    Spicer in a wig and eye shadow.

    • Oblios_Cap

      A female Trey Gowdy.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Running for office in South Carolina as a crazed, over the top bigot. It just might work.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Yeah, but what’s her gimmick?

      • Master Contrail Program

        With the modern-day GOP you don’t sell the steak, you sell the gristle, err, sizzle!

    • proudgrampa

      What a concept!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Too many bullets chasing too Few brain cells.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    That “Shari Few for Congress NOW!” statement takes on a rather menacing quality when she’s cradling an automatic weapon in the accompanying picture.

    • h4rr4r

      I seriously doubt it’s an automatic, those are like $30,000.

      This is the cheap substitute.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Semi-auto are still a menace, though.

        • h4rr4r

          Horse, barn, etc.

          Also what if they look like this instead?
          http://picturearchive.gunauction.com/1398064513/10617991/IMG_0202.JPG

          For the record, that is a semi-auto, with a magazine and it shoots big boy 30-06. Yet somehow no one ever gets upset about grandpa’s old woodsmaster.

          • georgiaburning

            This looks like something that would put some meat on your table. WTF is it with these weapons that look like they came from some bad 1950’s flying saucer movie?

          • h4rr4r

            That thing is a descendant of the BAR, by the way. The cartridge it shoots while generally not sold as armor piercing tends to be simply from being so powerful.

            The AR series of guns are in use by modern militaries so they end up popular in the civilian market.

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        She has a cheap substitute for brains, so that would make sense.

      • William
        • h4rr4r

          Even cheaper crap.

        • Oblios_Cap

          “Don’t rob my non-running bus!”

        • Jeff Ackerman

          Did Joe Dirt’s cousin marry his sister too?

        • BeachBum

          I hope that is not real. I hope it is staged. It is too real I must admit.

          • William

            All the times I’ve looked at this, I I just now noticed the little girl with the Beretta pistol.

          • h4rr4r

            Beretta? That sounds too expensive. Which Beretta do you think it is?
            I was thinking makarov.

          • William

            Mow that I magnified it, it looks like some third word blow-back

          • h4rr4r

            Also loads were imported as BB guns, they had been converted. Which makes me think it fits for a little kid.

          • kindness

            I’m thinking Crossman.

          • h4rr4r

            Crosman does not make anything that looks like that, do they?

            They tend to make pellet gun looking pellet guns.

        • RS07

          get’it’done!

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    The Few, the Proud, the Batshit.

  • x111e7thst

    god bless you William Tecumseh Sherman

  • vivian

    Maybe the kerning’s wrong and her name’s Sherif Ew.

  • h4rr4r

    I thought the monument to the victims of slavery, was a monument to the victims of slavery in the state of south carolina USA. Unless it is monument to slaves of the CSA, I don’t see how these things are even remotely related.

    Why is this clear supporter of treason being allowed to be part of government?

    The south needs a de-confederation program.

    • willi0000000

      first we have to get them to accept that in The War of Northern Aggression their side surrendered unconditionally back there at Appomattox Court House . . . all of their side, not just General Lee.

      [ of course, they will never stop fighting . . . even if somehow they managed to win, they still wouldn’t stop fighting ]

  • she’ll focus on “fighting the destruction of every bit of Confederate memorabilia in our country,”

    So she’s against States Rights …

  • Oblios_Cap

    She’ll sheri a few what?

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “You’ll have to pry my enormous Confederate Monument out of my cold, dead prominent public space.”
    — Sheri Few

    • OddMan

      Now I am thinking of Ms. Few’s cold, dead prominent public place.
      Ewwww.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I tried to have a prominent public place once, but the judge told me it had better never happen again.

    • h4rr4r

      I think you made a spelling error. Extra letter.

  • exinkwretch

    Man, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is particularly nasty when caused by white lightning and complicated by rickets.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Anna Elizabeth

      Fuckin’ A-men to that.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Traitor, flying a traitor flag. Can’t be taken seriously about the oath of office, as evasion and mental reservation are burned into her tiny reptile brain.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Damn. I guess you’ve got to get elected to office in order to keep your Obamacare these days.

    Thanks, Trump!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Headlines from the Future: Many are Appalled, Few is Chosen

    ?

    • Christopher Story

      I tip my cowboy hat to you

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Please come to the front desk to claim your prize.

  • schmannity

    Ladies and gentlemen, your next U.N. Ambassador.

    • willi0000000

      more fun to make her Ambassador to the Vatican.

  • TJ Barke

    The failure of reconstruction is really the greatest mistake our country’s ever made.

    • h4rr4r

      The states should have had their borders changed and names changed. To make it a clear break.

      • laughingnome

        I’ve got some ideas about names.

        • They can’t ALL be called Dumbfuckistan

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            North Dumbfuckistan, South Dumbfuckistan, New Dumbfuckistan . . . .

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Had Lincoln lived, things might have turned out differently. He might well have realized that “charity towards all” was not going to work, and altered the course of Reconstruction.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Yes, it was a tall order, and they murdered the one guy who might have pulled it off and gave us…President Andrew Johnson.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Zombie Lincoln-Vader: I am altering the deal. Pray I don’t alter it any further…

    • Hutch

      I like how comedian Kathleen Madigan phrased it.

      “I think they want to fight the Civil War all over again. It’s like winning a fight with a drunk, and then when he wakes up in the alley he says, ‘Come back here! I’m not done!’ No, drunkie. It’s over. Go away.”

    • BeachBum

      I think so. The South really needed to be broken up politically and put back together as part of the US. We had a second chance with Tilden-Hayes and we blew that too.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      After not letting the fuckers just go in the first place.

      • TJ Barke

        Well… Couldn’t just let them keep slaving, also, they had a lot our stuff.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    44 minutes till I spoke to someone. I reported that guy who is not behaving like an American, who has received aid and comfort from the enemy, violated the Emoluments Clause, etc. I did get her to admit that they are NOT law enforcement (She had some wiggle words about how this report would be shared with “appropriate” parties), but, and she admitted to this phrase “public relations”. She hung up on me after I pointed out that it was federal money paying for a certain someone’s 2020 campaign.

    • snark-lurker

      be sweet to learn that 99.9% of the callers currently calling are trolling

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Well, that’s 44+ minutes you’ll never get back. The Wonkettariot thanks you for your service.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I can haz a Purple Heart? I’ve always wanted one of those.

        • aureolaborealis

          You can have a purple body part, but it probably won’t be a heart.

  • schmannity

    Time for Fort Sumter to start lobbing shells into Charleston and suburbs.

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    ♫ She’s got Jefferson Davis eyes… ♫

  • Vincent Ricola

    OT – Someone just asked Spicy how the tax plan will affect the Trump family. Hahahahaha. At least some journalists are taking smart Wonkette comments to heart.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      How’d he answer? Besides with his forehead vein, I mean.

      • Vincent Ricola

        He gave a nervous, dance around answer, ignored the follow-up, and quickly moved to a different reporter. Then ended the press conference before anyone else could ask again.

        TLDR – exactly how you would expect.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I missed it, but apparently he refused to affirm that 401K funds would continue to be tax free. Of course.

  • Mpeg

    …Is that eyebrowshadow?..

    • BadKitty904

      In South Carolina, who knows…

    • Hutch

      She did draw them back a little too high.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Ronald McDonald School of Cosmetology is not a fraudulent pyramid scheme, thank you very much!

        • willi0000000

          from what i’ve seen walking the streets and malls, you must be doing great.

  • Creepoman

    “So then there’s this huge monument to African Americans . . . So that doesn’t seem fair, does it?”

    If elected, I imagine one of her first priorities will be the creation of a Nazi Memorial Museum across the street from the Holocaust Memorial Museum. It’s only fair.

    • BadKitty904

      I have a difficult time keeping from laughing when Reich-wingers start talking about what is “fair”…

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Me too, BadKitty. For many reasons, foremost of which is that complaining about the “fairness” or “unfairness” of a thing is the best definition of a snowflake (to use their third-grade terminology).

        • BadKitty904

          “Unfair” = “anything that threatens my self-entitled privileges”

          • HogeyeGrex

            “Fair” = “any way I want to exploit, destroy, denigrate, or pollute anything or anybody.”

            “Unfair” = “you trying to stop me.”

          • BadKitty904

            GOP, is that you?

      • “M”

        According to them, equal rights are always “unfair”.

        /eyerolling forever

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    Sheri. Whew.

    • therblig

      pew pew pew!

  • Tell you what? You and your fellow Confederates agree to be slaves for 450 years, then have your basic human rights suppressed by Federal, State, and local governments, be forced to use separate, but much crappier facilities, have formal laws on the books that say you can’t marry the person you love, be denied the right to eat in restaurants, be denied houses and loans, and randomly have angry violent mobs lynch some of your kin and burn down your businesses that you somehow managed to turn into successful enterprises despite the systemic oppression, and then maybe… just maybe… we might give you your own monument… you know, after we call you whiners, moochers, violent felons, and why can’t you just get over it?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Not to mention that after you pose with your big guns, we’ll pass gun control measures a la Ronnie Ray-gun.

    • therblig

      c’mon, they had 8 years of literal slavery under the tyrannic thumb of the kenyan muslim oppressor. cut them a little slack.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        If I recall correctly, it was actually Slavery Holocaust Times Infinity, and nothing’s worse than that.

        • Paul

          It was. And it isn’t.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I’ll cut them a little rope…

    • ANNG14

      Excellent!

  • canes_pugnaces

    You know how all these batshit crazy conservatives and low-country rednecks hate us edicareated progressive aethiatics? Well, the feeling is mutual.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “OK, South Carolina, clearly seven is too many. We should have cut you off at four.”
    — Bartender at the Reapportionment Saloon

  • TJ Barke

    If a liberal went on a tangent about real freedom while holding a gun, do you think all the wingnuts heads would explode?

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Looking at that picture, one has to ask, “Is this candidate loaded?”

  • Lefty Wright

    What’s wrong with people celebrating their Southern heritage with proud displays of the stars and bars. Next thing you will say is it is wrong to display the swastika to celebrate our common ancestry and Indo-European language roots with civilizations originating in the Indian subcontinent. I’m sure that is why groups are displaying it now. You guys see conspiracies everywhere.

  • BadKitty904

    A Few bullets short of a full clip…

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      IT’S A MAGAZINE, NOT A CLIP!!1!1!

      • BadKitty904

        That, too. Also.

      • laughingnome

        And I only look at it for the articles!

      • therblig

        AND THEY’RE SUPPRESSORS NOT SILENCERS!!!1!!11

      • Gayer Than Thou

        No, The New Yorker – now that’s a magazine.

        • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

          Oddly, “magazine” as a periodical comes from magazine as an armory. Way back in time when even John McCain was young, someone published “a magazine of ideas to arm oneself in debate” — something like that.

    • Mpeg

      She’s gonna make an offer you can’t refewse!!

  • BadKitty904

    Such a delicate snowflake…

  • I can think of at least two things that Michele Fieore has over Few…

    • Hutch

      Truly, Few’s fried eggs are not going to impress the readership of “Ammo and Chicks.”

  • Bill D. Burger

    OT..but…Did you see Babble Spice’s presser? General Flynn’s fucked up mess is all ….. ~wait for it~ …. ~wait for it~ …. Obama’s fault!
    Yup: ” Uh uh…General Flynn had a security clearance during the Obama administration. We accepted that.”

    Oh goddamn, you can’t make this shit up. Nosiree’ no need to vet him for National Security Adivser. Nope…..If something was wrong, it was wrong long, long BEFORE he even did it: So…OBAMA’S FAULT!

    bwwwwahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

  • Wild Cat

    To think, when I was young, naive, and romantic I used to think women were the kinder of the species.
    Our right-wing women are fucking outdoing Eva Braun.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      So THAT’S what’s on Kompromat Tape #2.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Oblios_Cap

      Perp-walks all around!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.
      This would literally be the biggest thing since Watergate if Fuckface von Clownstick actually taped himself offering treason. I just. I have. NO WORDS.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Just reading that and thinking of the possibilities made my nipples hard.

      Oh…TMI

    • h4rr4r

      I will believe it when I see it. Put that shit on youtube!

    • snark-lurker

      currently, once a thing is confirmed it is quickly burried by MSM

    • jesterpunk
      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        “It’s very important, if you have something really important, write it out and have it delivered by courier, the old fashioned way because I’ll tell you what, no computer is safe,” Trump responded when asked about the importance of cybersecurity, according to pool reporters.
        THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART SO FAR.

        • jesterpunk

          That backfired when he picked an idiot like Carter Page to carry the recordings.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Impeach, Convict, Imprison…every last member of Donald’s Crime Syndicate, to include all accessories after the fact in Congress.

      • Jim Johnson

        The Griftocracy must come to an end.

      • willi0000000

        if it’s true (and i sincerely hope it is) the new associate justice of the supreme court should also be impeached . . . just to snip that loose end.

    • BadKitty904
    • boyblue122

      Is that like the pee-pee tape though? They know it exists they just dont have possession of it.

      or is it something they have possession of

      • MynameisBlarney

        It’s tape of turmp offering to betray this country for russian hacking help.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I listened to her ad, and all I can say is she seems disturbingly unhinged.

  • georgiaburning

    She’s free to go to Brazil and join her compatriots in exile

  • OddMan

    Jesus H. Dancing-on-a-Ritz Christ. This lady is a piece of work. I had a look at her website, don’t
    And that damned gun in her hand, what the hell does she need a ‘Rhino Red and Green Dot Sight’ Laser on her gun for? She says she has a handgun on her all the time. What the fuck is she afraid of, and I bet it has two g’s in the middle.

    • Wild Cat

      The Duggars? No way!

      O, you mean the blahs. Nevermind.

    • h4rr4r

      A dot sight is not usually a laser.

      Dot sights are just a bright dot in a no or low magnification tube.

      https://www.amazon.com/Tactical-Rifles-Shotguns-Ozark-Armament/dp/B010OMQSR2

      They are much easier to use than open sights and faster than a scope. I use them on pellets guns to kill feral soda cans.

      • snark-lurker

        soda cans bite!

      • OddMan

        I’m old fashioned, I think using any scope is cheating. I used to be a crack shot but don’t shoot any more.

        • h4rr4r

          I prefer a peep, my current favorite is a daisy 499.
          At 5 meters it can put 10 in pretty much one BB sized whole. I love it so much I think I am going to get into 10 meter airgun. Too old really, but it is fun.

  • therblig

    they can have my childhood when they pry it from my cold, dead fingers! why, even that wounded yankee and his gal agree!!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NY1O5ny7Q1g

  • Wild Cat

    Why is Karl Rove in drag holding a big rifle at the top of this article?

  • Gorillionaire

    So she’s basically a slightly younger version of Virginia Foxx.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Or a much older version of FOX.

  • mrFawkes
  • Gayer Than Thou

    Gafrican-Gamericans? I never heard that expression before.

  • Wild Cat

    The Left always thought guns were phallic symbols.

    Turns out they’re just dildos for bored Christian wingnuts.

  • Shibusa
  • Mr. Blobfish

    One Republican candidate flew over the cuckoos nest.

    • Jenny

      To join the rest of them in the bird house?

    • willi0000000

      one?

  • BeachBum

    Years ago when I lived in the South, I thought the Civil War was still going on. Only the shooting had stopped.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    People like Few argue that the Confederate flag and similar are part of Southern heritage passed down through generations. It gives them regional pride in their distinctive culture and history. They argue they can’t discard that heritage; it is simply part of who they are. And some of them sincerely mean it in a totally non-racist way.

    But other people also have an antebellum heritage that is not so uplifting (if that’s the right word). It’s the heritage of slavery passed down through the generations. I suspect our latter day Confederates would tell the descendants of slaves that all that happened a long time ago and is not part of how we live today; to put it behind them.

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      Yes, the Confederate flag sure is a part of a heritage– of treason and slavery. It’s hard for me to fathom why someone would be proud of that.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      The Confederate battle flag was intended as a giant middle finger to those opposing segregation.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        DELIBERATELY adopted for that very reason. It’s a flag that is all about racism, not “heritage”…unless you’re saying your “heritage” is racism, in which case, fuck your “heritage”.

    • Jack Rogue Tenhet

      The Confederate flag is no more about modern day regional “pride” than the Swastika is about modern Germany.

      People like Few are just pandering to racist white rednecks who still believe things were milk and honey for poor white trash like them during slavery. They don’t even know that indentured servitude was a thing that absolutely applied to them.

      These same ignorant white rednecks piss and moan about the welfare state while claiming the benefits of it for themselves. If a black person has a nickle, these guys will use their last dime to take it from them. It’s only about having a class to hate and blame because that’s a hell of a lot easier than working to change things and rednecks will always take the easy way.

    • mardam422

      Some heritage and history should be put behind us. But not mine.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Arguing that Confederate flags are “heritage” is like Germans arguing flying the Hackenkreuz is “heritage”. Sorry, does not fly, if you catch my drift, and I think you do.

  • Shibusa

    Q: How many NRA members does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: More guns.

    • Bill D. Burger

      A: (2) None. They’ll support passing laws laws forbidding light bulbs to burn out and when they do burn out, NRA members will wonder why it’s dark while people are getting hurt because they can’t see.

    • RS07

      You are not beeing NRA(ish) enough in that joke

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    If Fewer people like Ms. Few were elected to office, maybe this country could have nice things again.

  • Shibusa
  • Mr. Blobfish

    Don’t they sell camo tops and sweaters at Cabela’s?

  • willi0000000

    so . . . who would notice a few more of those in congress?

  • boyblue122

    So when people like this lady mention states rights its just a dog whistle for slavery i assume

    • Jack Rogue Tenhet

      Isn’t it always?

    • Jim Johnson

      I think they would settle for some good ol’ southern segregation, discrimination, and a return of Jim Crow laws. Most of them are too lazy, ignorant, and incompetent to even own or manage slaves at this point. They have remote controls (I think) for turning on FoxNews so slave labor is not really needed for that chore. What else do they do?

  • nightmoth

    Sheri Few is Very Shrewish.

  • goonemeritus

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ce8f4b78ea926d803383e8e2c0cad6c82a623255a867edbe5637884d4db2f8af.png Wait until she finds out our plan to melt down all the confederate statuary to cast more statutes of General Sherman.

    • h4rr4r

      This should be a federal law. All confederate statues must be replaced with Sherman warming his hands over a fire.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        A fire Made with fine plantation furniture.

    • Jim Johnson

      Let’s start a GoFundMe for a General Sherman Victory Tour extravaganza with Scorched Earth parades, participation trophies for all the redneck losers, and all the glories of industrialized warfare. To the victor go the spoils! Sorry, redneck racist assholes you lost — get over it.

  • Jack Rogue Tenhet

    I did NOT just notice this:

    Rightwingers throw the term “politically correct” around like the tail of a dead cat and have no damned clue what the term even means. It doesn’t have to mean anything anymore, it’s just political short-hand for “shit you don’t agree with”.

    Every politician has to be “politically correct” or no one will vote for them. You know what is “politically correct” in Few’s district? Posing in front of an American Flag brandishing an AR-15. Dumb-ass redneck!

  • Napoleanofthetrump

    What is it with wingnuts and that tacticool shit. I fucking love guns but I’d never buy an AR and put 80 pieces of unnecessary, or even counterproductive, shit on it. It looks stupid; you look stupid holding it.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      But on the other hand, she’s giving me an idea for a comedy-action franchise: suburban soccer mom housewife/trained assassin. It will be HI-larious!

    • h4rr4r

      The AR is the Barbie of the gun world.

      • Napoleanofthetrump

        And you look just as manly playing with it.

    • William

      I was a cop for 16 years. Any modification of any kind on any weapon carried by an officer was strictly verboten. With good reason. These idiotic rednecks think these krap-co add ons make them a better shot. The “top gun” in the department carried an ancient security six with most of the bluing worn off.

      • OrG

        To be fair, these idiotic rednecks think a LOT of stupid shit.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        “…Or IS the safety on? Man, I really wish Krieger wouldn’t do these idiot mods.”

        • William

          Our glocks had no safety aside from the trigger safety. I would sometimes look at these weird 45 acp’s with more add-ons than a 17 year olds Honda civic, and wonder why. My dear wife analyzed the nomenclature surrounding these idiotic modifications. EXTENDED mag release. EXTENDED slide release, and finally, muzzle COMPENSATOR.

      • aureolaborealis

        You mean being good at something is about practice and discipline … not just buying shiny gadgets? That’s crazy talk.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Give me a Spanish, Italian, or German shotgun with a fine wood stock and a little (not too much) engraving.

      • Napoleanofthetrump

        Makes me sad that Browning has just become the go-to bumper sticker for dumb hicks. The Auto5 Sweet Sixteen is the perfect combination of form and function, and now I kinda feel like a jackass bringing it out.

      • aureolaborealis

        I’ve got a Czech over-under that I’m pretty fond of. No engraving, tho. Haven’t touched it in years.

    • Blackest Noobs

      i know, right….like these dicks with their AR-15, i just laugh cuz pretty much none of them know how to shoot properly or how to zero in a sight.

      Though my Marlin lever-action only hold six rounds, it is more than enough to deal with these dumb dickweeds.

    • aureolaborealis

      When SUVs first assploded on the scene back in the 80s (Golden Jeep Grand Cherokee, anyone?), someone pointed out that the fad was all about the illusion of capability, rather than any actual capability. I think that pretty handily explains the AR wankers and recreational wearers of military camo.
      Also falling into that category in my part of the country: magnum handguns worn by people who would have a hard time hitting any part of a paper target at 50 feet with the thing … forget about a charging bear. I used to see them at the range, flinching, wincing, and missing pretty much everything they aimed at.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        I lived in Dallas when the SUV (or weapons-carrier, as I like to refer to them) became the rage. We used to see these teeny Highland Park matrons pull out their little footstools just so they could climb up in the thing. It was also the height of chic for these women to run around town in a Mexican wedding dress. Nothing like appropriating the wedding garb of your servants to appear even more witless than usual.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    The sad thing? She’s probably just a little better than Mulvaney. At least she is openly and nakedly racist and opposed to the government she wants to be a part of. What’s Mick’s excuse?

  • Prof. T. Green Bastard

    Kitty Foreman’s asshole older sister.

  • cheetojeebus

    All of the figural monuments/sculptures on the campus of UT Austin have their backs to the North. Because poor losers.

  • Ducksworthy

    Sherman had it right. Just needed more time.

  • William
    • BearDeLaOursistance

      No rights. No rights. YOU’RE the rights.

    • Bemused

      No, I’m lefts. They’re rights.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Spelling and punctuation: The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

  • cheetojeebus

    That’s a big ol loaf of congealed stupid.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      You’ve done enough already…

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      Ya know, I seem to remember one B. Barry Bamz beating Hilz in the Democratic primary by knowing the ins-and-outs of the Democratic primary process. Seems like Bernie & his bros should have done more homework before running as a Democrat.

    • boyblue122

      Ya have to appeal to more than just white guys to win the democratic primary Bernie. Its the reason you are likely to lose the democratic primary again.

      When your post-election outreach consists of talking to just Trump voters who have been screwed over and not the rest of the entire democratic coalition, you arent setting yourself up to win the primary (If you are allowed to run)

      • artem1s

        please Bernie, just switch to T-Idiot party and be done with it. I’m sure one of the independent idjits will be your running mate. Jill or Ralph or Dennis the Menace. Take your pick.

      • h4rr4r

        He did not even get all the white guys.

      • GreyWolfSC

        Maybe he could at least, ya know, join the Democratic party before he talks about rebuilding it? Will not vote for it.

    • Professor Fate

      yes please, this we don’t need.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      I still like Bernie but he’s wrong on this. Work as a team with the establishment Bern. Teamwork. It’s not that hard. It’s what your whole socio-poltical philosophy fucking stands for, after all.

    • HogeyeGrex

      No, Bernie. You wouldn’t have.
      There was a reporter who mentioned having seen the oppo research folder on Bernie that described the tactics they would have used should he have won the primary. It was devastating. They would have buried him, even without the Russians.
      I’m saying this as someone who voted for him.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I voted for him too.
        Then once he lost, I voted for Hillary.

    • chortlingdingo

      This is the kind of shit that makes me lose respect for Bernie.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yup. Me too.

    • Beowoof14

      I now am officially wondering what his plan with still fighting a primary he lost. If not continued demoralizing and dividing democrats, then what’s up Bernie.

      • C4TWOMAN

        I never trusted him. With friends I know who are impressed by him, I usually just say “He’s a nice guy but unqualified for the presidency”.

        But the fact he appealed to the radical fringe always made me leery. It is not accident when fringe radicals–many who turned to Trump–think you’re okay. Either Bernie has some extremist sympathies we don’t know about (yet) , or, more likely, there is something about him the reactionaries think they can use.

        In either case, letting himself be used either means he’s a player or the played.

  • William
    • BeachBum

      Grate Pic ! Thanx !

    • RS07

      Needs a MAGA hat

  • colo303

    Inbreeding is bad ya’ll.

  • Dr. Strangelove’s Child

    I just spent a week in Clanton, Alabama, for work. It was a different place, but the most interesting part of the trip was that I had the joy of listening to THIS asshole:
    http://www.talk995.com/lelandlive/
    What’s interesting about him is that he doesn’t rant and rave, and he never mentions race, but my God, he is a fan of Trump and imminent North Korean ICBM and EMP attacks and ESPECIALLY Roy Moore, who is is certain is going to be the next Senator… I tried to call in a debate him, but unfortunately for me, he just HAD to go to break (at 2:05, less than three minutes after coming back from break) so we didn’t get started.

    Oh well, it’s what I should have expected.

  • chicken thief

    I stand corrected. It appears you can put lipstick – and eye shadow, on a pig.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      New keyboard in my future!

  • Me not sure

    Boy, does she ever have a bad case of those squinky Sam Brownback eyes.

  • kindness

    I see that picture and my mind thinks of Divine in Pink Flamingos.

    • Dinz6315

      Oh, come on. Divine was way prettier.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    OK, the bottom line of this pitch, the core of the message, is that there’s one reason and one reason only why anyone would have as their top agenda item “more respect for the confederate flag”, and both Few and her Few supporters know fucking well what that reason is.

    • dshwa

      Getting the immigrants, both the voluntary and involuntary ones.

  • Blackest Noobs

    if a person has to pose with a gun to get your vote, then you’re both fucking morons who deserve to eat a fuckin’ bullet.

  • Meccalopolis

    (Points ar-15) few, few, Bang. Ow!

  • nightmoth

    Oh, South Carolina—don’t ever change! You’re the only thing making your border states look remotely sane.
    —a native of N.C. now living in Ga.

  • chicken thief

    Ya, it’s heritage, not hate, says the woman born in fucking Glendale, AZ.

    http://votesmart.org/candidate/biography/60371/sheri-few#.WQI9dlf950w

    • Ωbjectifier

      She must have lost family at the Battle of Picacho.

  • dshwa

    She reminds me of the office worker from the Drew Carey show. Only crazier and better armed.

    • Bitter Scribe

      And her eyeliner is a lighter shade of purple.

    • GreyWolfSC

      She’s Pam from Archer but without the adorable cocaine addiction.

      • Dg Hacket

        And the tattoo on her back!

  • anwisok

    With people like this around, does anyone wonder why I’m always on Wonkette at night, rather than out and about?

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Are girls even allowed to hold guns?

  • C4TWOMAN
    • Bitter Scribe

      Damn it, I was all set to make a “Sheri Few should share less” joke and you blew me off my feet.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Oh don’t let that stop you. The more, the merrier.
        =^-^=

  • Me not sure

    I hope that those were memorials to those who were enslaved and not memorials to slavery itself, but it being SC, one never knows.

  • Ωbjectifier

    Fuck that cunt. That is all.

  • ANNG14

    Get the message: Monuments to traitors and their flag is so yesterday and un-American.
    You all lost the war over 150 years ago. You all were on the wrong side of decency.

    • norcalOG

      Atty Gen. Sessions, still fighting rumors of serious dementia, said he’s not sure what will happen in SC. He said he ‘s been in constant contact with both Gen. Bureaugard and President Davis. He’s hopeful the SC militias can move north and join other troops in an all out assault on Washington, promising “to populate that swamp with as many dead criminals as we can.”

      • ANNG14

        Whoa, Sessions channels dead Confederates?
        Have they learned that their “glorious cause” was betraying their country so that rich people could have slaves?

  • norcalOG

    You can’t mention Nevada and not fondly remember Sharron Angle, the original Nevada Nitwit whose mouth turned a sure victory over Harry Reid into a very significant defeat.
    She had so many good thoughts too: 2nd Amendment solutions, lazy people on unemployment when Nevada’s unemployment rate was the highest and n the country, her inability to distinguish between Asians and Mexican at a high school speech.
    So, she may have a close relative down south.
    BTW, she said God chose her to run. I’m sure Harry Reid thanked God many times over.

  • Marceline

    I could never vote for someone who didn’t have the foresight to touch up her roots before making a TV spot.

    • Buzz1313

      My attention was drawn to her cool eyeshadow.

      • Notreelyhelping

        My attention was drawn to the eyebrows glued to her forehead.

    • Internet Hitler

      Or watch Roots.

    • honeywest

      No kidding. And that eyeshadow. Honey, no.

  • azeyote

    seems that a lot of monuments are for some war hero who either killed a lot of folks or got killed trying to kill a lot of folks –

  • GreyWolfSC

    Fuck her… with votes.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      You wouldn’t want to do it with anything else!

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    The first rule of confederate fight club is secede from the confederate fight club.

  • Randy Riddle

    She’s _really_ publicly lobbying for a job with Jeff Sessions’s office…

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Sherman didn’t get to finish. Unfortunately. Another reason to put Andrew Johnson as the worst president ever, at least until now.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Buchanan was the worst, the only proven outright traitor, for now.

  • Ray in VT

    “Since if we’re not going to memorialize the people who fought to preserve slavery, then it would be unfair to still remember the people who were enslaved. It’s just logic!”

    Yeah, totally flawless. I mean what can you possibly find wrong with that link of thinking?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      It’s the same logic as “How can you honor Anne Frank and not the gallant Waffen-SS officers buried at Bitburg?”

    • wavicles

      A few things, at least.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    All this focus on the “victims” is just liberal propaganda. Where’s the appreciation of the skill and steely nerves of a shooter who can take out 5, 10, 20 unarmed screaming people?

  • Truly Madly Derply

    I was astonished that she represented the Charleston shooting as “horrible” and then I realized she’s probably disappointed that Roof only got nine.

  • It’s a “heritage” alright. A heritage of fear, hate, ignorance & stupidity. (Just for starters.)

  • honeywest

    Sheldon Coopers Fun with Flags and AK 47s and light blue eyeshadow. Ugh.

  • Stulexington

    I don’t understand, I mean the civil war was about state’s rights so why do wingnuts keep trying to tie it to slavery?

  • Scurrilous

    Klannie got her gun.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      I know everything has got to be dark these days, but when they called the sequel “Annie Get Your Gun” I thought that was going too far. Whatever happened to the sun coming out tomorrow?

      • laineypc

        You, sir (I think) , have just allowed me to finish the internet for the day.
        I feel complete.

        • BreakingDeadMen

          Thank you!

    • H0mer0

      what did her daddy do?

  • gallbladder

    I’m betting that were I to walk up to her with a machine gun, she’d fucking shit her knickers.

  • puredog

    “Candidate has Few brain cells.” I swear, the negative ads almost write themselves.

    • Alan

      A Few bricks shy of a load.

  • Alan

    She looks creepy.

    • Nasty Girl Brianna

      Like in a “few chromosomes short of a strand” kind of way.

      • Alan

        Yep, that’s what I was thinking.

  • Paperless Tiger

    They’re worried it might rise again.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Do you see her?! She ain’t gonna make anything rise again.

      • SnarkON

        Ouch. Maybe pull back on the sexist insults just a bit.

        • Jeffery Campbell

          Your right. A thousand apologies. Comments on looks sail perilously close to the wind.

          • SnarkON

            :) thank you

  • Jeffery Campbell

    So that’s what happened to Mimi from the Drew Carey show. Huh!

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    So, after 150 years you can’t come to grips with the fact that your side lost, but you call other people *special snowflakes*? Well…OK.

    • miss_grundy

      But snowflakes can accumulate mightily and turn into an avalanche. Perhaps this chick and her kind need to be hit by one.

    • Keith Taylor

      OMG.

  • Scooby

    She looks like the house mother from The Facts of Life.

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      Mrs. Garrison Libel!

      • boredcatlady

        Mrs Garret!

        • H0mer0

          The legendary rack:

          https://youtu.be/MYek1rQvK74

        • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

          South Park and Facts of Life were essentially the same show.

          • boredcatlady

            Yeah, pretty much the same except FOL had dick jokes

  • Dudleydidwrong

    I would like to write a poem in honor of this fine example of southern femininity:

    Few
    P.U.

    If someone beat me to it I apologize but she deserves all she can get.

  • Portia McGonagal

    The Few, The Loud, The Morans

    • davidhollenshead

      Morons ???

      • MinneMary

        That’s how a lot of dumb tea partiers used to spell it on their signs. It might be a “take-off” on that

        • Not only a take-off, But bona-fied Wonkette etiquette.

          • MinneMary

            thank you. (I don’t come here as often as I would like).

      • Portia McGonagal
        • manndan

          Must be new here.

          • davidhollenshead

            Somewhat.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Also too, a single moran is A Idiot.

          • Yellerduck

            And married morans are A Idiotses.

      • SpideySenser

        Maroons LIBELZ!!!1!!1!

  • thixotropic jerk

    Such blatant hoering for the amdumbassadorship to Dumbfuckistan just let her have it already Shtrump!

  • Jacob DiCiaula

    If you’re going to pretend to be a soldier, please just correctly hold the weapon at the low ready.

    • SnarkON

      She’s aiming at a light fixture in the corner.

      • subatomic

        Well, that fixture had it coming.

      • RS07

        well… it well known that light fixtures have a liberal bias

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I can assure you all that if she were better looking, she’d be winning that primary.

    Signed,
    A South Carolinian

    • SnarkON

      She can just shoot anyone who doesn’t vote for her.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        She’ll probably just really bad mouth them at her Daughters of the Confederacy meetings.

        The funny part is, I have a feeling her family was never part of the landed gentry. I picture them being more like the poor white trash, who went and fought for the rich people’s right to own slaves, rather than the aristocracy who actually benefitted fromslavery.

        • SnarkON

          Absolutely!

  • SnarkON

    I’m sort of transfixed by this image. Here’s a no doubt churchgoing middle-aged lady who is probably a mom and possibly a grandma. She’s wearing blue eye shadow and lipstick and a little cardigan sweater set. Oh, and she’s brandishing a brutal killing machine. Why does she feel the need to carry this weapon? Will she use it to shoot anyone who forgets to bring a gift to the baby shower she’s hosting on Saturday? Does she use it to mow down the neighbor at her book club who suggests reading a book she doesn’t like? Does she need it to get a good table at the local Applebee’s? WTF?

    • BreakingDeadMen

      GODDAMMIT DON’T YOU SEEN THE SIGN THAT SAYS NO SOLICITORS??? BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM!!!!

    • Husband Of Mrs God

      This is your son, when you marry a gun.

    • miss_grundy

      She needs it to go shopping at the Piggly Wiggly because she is terrified of the fresh produce section, especially the asparagus spears that will attack her as she passes by with her shopping cart.

    • capnkrunch

      Turn down your music! Bam bam bam!

      No cell phones in movie theaters! Bam bam bam!

      • C4TWOMAN

        I actually feel this one…
        Firearms just aren’t the solution.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      It’s to protect her from the gub’mint… that she wants be a part of.

  • Husband Of Mrs God

    A few will escape once in a while.

  • Dear Wingnuts,
    Since you are so fond of reminding us that the Democrats started in the south and were all confederate kkk racist whatevers, we have decided now to lay claim to all those confederate monuments, that are ours, because they were Democrats, and we will henceforth be replacing them with gigantic dildos.
    Thank you for your time.

    • cats530

      And for some variety, how about mixing them up with some Festivus poles made from Hamm’s beer cans? Both would be guaranteed to annoy the hell out of the Babble thumpers.

    • laineypc

      That’s right! Democrats were the bad guys for being Confederate KKK racist slavers. But then the Democrats decided to not be racist slavers and to whine about the Confederacy, so they are still bad. Wait, whut?

  • Panika MCD

    the whole idea of conservatism is slow change. someone might want to tell her that. she might want to find something else to call herself.

    someone might also too want to splain to her that the state government, not Congress, decides what monuments do and do not continue to be displayed at the state capitol. amazing how that works, I know! (though, to be fair, she may be doing this all for name ID and end up in the state house.)

    but this is still my favorite nut-job commercial remains Dale Petersen:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU7fhIO7DG0

    • laineypc

      His horse looks mighty worried. Not sure if it’s the gun waving or she probably thinks he’s mad at her.

      • Panika MCD

        his horse doesn’t look like a dummy either.

  • Panika MCD

    I also too very much like this Warren Chisum ad because he admits that shooting people in the face for no reason is a “conservative value”.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjbC5yLL91w

    and never forget how he had to put sodomy back in the TX penile code:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BX5Z6E0lZEQ

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Oh, he’s a Christian, alright. Very. Christian.

    • cats530

      If he’s the guy on the bay, he doesn’t seem all that comfortable on a horse, riding with a roached back and hands a flapping (hopefully not yanking on the horse’s mouth), along with his boot jammed all the way through the stirrup. The other guy seems much more natural.

  • Tracy

    Michele Fiore has aged badly.

  • LadyLaz

    F.U. Few for making us southern ladies look like idiots. And your momma should have told you blue eye shadow went out in the eighties.

    Bless her shriveled heart with votes

  • UnsaltedSinner

    We Few, we happy Few, we band of traitors…

  • JParkerSD46

    Ms. Pew-Pew-Few needn’t worry her pretty little head about Confederate memorabilia disappearing any time soon. There are more than enough ignorant redneck crackers to keep that industry thriving. Fuck you, you fucking fuck. That’s just my way of saying “bless your heart”.

  • 3FingerPete

    Is it fair there are Holocaust memorials and museums while South Carolina refuses to fly a NAZI flag on the capitol grounds?

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    How fucking low do you have to be to be “elevated to the Trump administration”?

    • Brendan_M

      How high do you have to be to agree to be “elevated” to the “Trump” administration?

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      It’s like being pulled from the septic tank up to the toilet bowl. At least you catch a break between sittings.

  • SeeTrain65

    So if the Civil War wasn’t about slavery, Mme. Doesn’tHaveAFuckingChanceInHell, why should you retaliate pulling down a Confederate monument by pulling down a Victims of Slavery monument? Doesn’t that belie your belief that the war had nothing to do with slavery?

    Perhaps you don’t have to think about your positions before you form them in the Palmetto State.

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    The proud, the idiots, the Few.

  • E.A. Blair
  • Belasaurius

    what’s up with her eye shadow?

    • Arthur Conrad

      She took beauty tips from the Mimi character in the Drew Carey Show.

      • Yellerduck

        Shoulda read down. Great minds think alike. Or maybe we just both wasted a lot of time on 90’s sitcoms.

  • cats530

    She certainly has that southern-fried-in-lard pork-fed look. Ammosexuals probably find that picture pin-up worthy.

  • Yellerduck

    Why is her dust cover open!!!?? Weapons inspection fail. Drop and give me 10 Mimi.

  • Tell them to “quit whining” and move on. The idiots are going nuts over here in New Orleans about this shit, and thankfully the mayor is telling them to fuck the fuck off (the only good thing he has done so far). OMG HISTORY!!!”!”!”!11!!

    Monuments aren’t fucking “history”. History is in books and other NARRARATIVES, not in images. Images – hence all monuments – do nothing but distort the truth of their subjects. Monuments are about VALUES.

    You want to know what “history” is dipshits? Tearing them all down – now THAT’S making history.

    • Sorry, Ms. Few. I didn’t bring enough for you and the whole klavern.

  • Joseph Stans

    let us all be charitable and try understand the Mr. Few really wants to get her out of town ASAP. Cut the poor guy some slack and send Sheri to Washington and give her old man some relief. How would you feel if you were Mr. Few?

  • Teto85

    Who let Mimi have a gun?

  • ibwilliamsi

    “Perennial loser”. Is that the same thing as “earning a decent living as a candidate”?

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