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GOOD NEWS: Roy Moore is no longer chief justice of the Alabama Supreme Court. BAD NEWS: He resigned because A) he had been suspended for the rest of his term on the court anyway, and term limits prohibit him from running again, and also B) he is running for Jeff Sessions’s old Senate seat, which is currently occupied by a man named Luther Strange:

Suspended Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore today announced he is running for the United States Senate.

“I’ll stand for the rights and liberties of the people” if elected, Moore said to reporters gathered at the State Capitol.

“We can make America great again, we’ve got to make America good again,” Moore said.

And NO GAYS ALLOWED.

You’ll remember Moore was suspended for a whole bunch of ethics violations relating to his deeply held religious belief that God Hates Fags. Back before the United States Supreme Court decided to throat-cram all of America with marriage equality, a nice federal judge in Alabama named Callie V.S. Granade ruled that Alabama’s gay marriage ban was unconstitutional. Moore, of course, was determined that her ruling would not stand, because what is she, a federal judge or something? Yes, she is!

Nonetheless, Moore ordered Alabama’s probate judges to ignore Granade’s ruling, and stated in no uncertain terms that if/when the Supreme Court ruled for marriage equality, he would appeal that ruling directly to God. Unfortunately God failed to grant cert. :(

Then, in January of 2016, months after the Supreme Court made its ruling, Moore wrote another little order that said SCOTUS’s ruling was causing “confusion and uncertainty” among Alabammy judges, because they weren’t sure whether they were supposed to obey SCOTUS or Roy Moore AKA “God.” He assured those judges that he was still the supreme boss of marriage, and that gays were still gross, so please do not issue gay marriage licenses.

So, as we noted, he got suspended, even though he was being persecuted by the heathen homosexuals and also the transgenders, which hurt his feelings very much. As AL.com notes, just last week the Alabama Supreme Court upheld his suspension, despite his insistence that he remains chief justice and and also God’s chosen son.

Moore, of course, is also the famous Ten Commandments judge, who first lost his position as chief justice way back in 2003 because God wouldn’t allow him to remove a giant Ten Commandments monument from state government property.

If he manages to get the Republican nomination and wins the seat, he will be very, very bad at Senate.

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[AL.com]

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  • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

    I’m not sayin’ nuffink until I know whether this is the Open thread or not.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      It’s Schroedinger’s Open Thread, so yes and no.

      • aureolaborealis

        We won’t know if it’s open until we open it?

      • Latverian Diplomat

        I feel uncertain, just on Principle.
        — Heisenberg

      • FlownΩver

        So threaddy’s dead?

    • Red Bird Ω

      You East Coast people. You get everything before we do.

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    At least his opponent will have a ready-made slogan: “Moore is Less.”

    • ManchuCandidate

      Even a theme song…

      Who can turn the world off with his bile?
      Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it seem full of spite?
      Well it’s you Roy, and you should know it
      With each glance and every lusty glare at homos you show it
      Hate is all around, no need to waste it
      You can never tell, why don’t you take it
      You’re gonna make it after all
      You’re gonna make it after all

  • JMP

    “I’ll stand for the rights and liberties of the people” if elected, Moore said to reporters gathered at the State Capitol.

    But you’ve opposed the rights an the liberties of the people throughout your entire career; and fuck, you’re running as a far-right republican, part of the party that hates and wants to destroy human rights and civil liberties.

    • FlownΩver

      For certain values of “the people.” Rights and liberties need not be extended to those of certain hues.

      • Contemplative Ron

        Or genders, or sexualities.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Moore wants some Strange.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I like my strange on his side.

  • Master Contrail Program
  • Red Bird Ω

    I am officially sick and tired.

  • aureolaborealis

    He’s got that grifty salesman confidence of the True Believer.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Fuck me if we introduced a forehead tax Roy Moore could pay off the national debt.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Moar like a SIX-head, Amirite?

    • Opalescent Riddles

      Add that to Roger Stone’s and we could also pay Canada to take over our government.

  • Prof. T. Green Bastard

    Dude’s HAIR. That is horrifying. The top was probably grown from donor plugs of ass hair.

    • GoutMachine

      Not only is he the president of Hair Club for Men …

      • Prof. T. Green Bastard

        He also did all his own work w a small hand mirror!

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Robert Mapplethorpe is on line 1…

  • arglebargle

    I’m sure his closets are very tastefully decorated.

  • memzilla Ω

    O/T BREAKING: 45* Likely To Sign Executive Order Withdrawing US From NAFTA

    There is a six-month notification period to end it, so this should come just in time for the repercussions from Brexit negotiation fears start to tank the world economy. Rest assured, though, it will still be all Obama’s fault somehow.

  • Fartknocker

    Rick Perry has that exact same smile after a few minutes of goat fucking.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Sorry to say, the goat has a bag over its head. Probably better that way. For the goat’s family.

  • Bebecca

    Why doesn’t he just give up and go work for the Christian broadcast network or that lawfirm that defended Kim Davis? I really wish they had disbarred him too.

    • Wes Grogan

      It would have been nice, but honestly suspending him for the rest of his term was the best possible outcome. It kept him from being a martyr a second time while still making him utterly impotent.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    even though he was being persecuted by the heathen homosexuals and also the transgenders

    We straights are persecuting him too also!

  • kareemachan

    That looks like a brown Brillo pad on top of his head.

    • Wes Grogan

      Brillo is going to put out a statement denouncing any connections to him.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Some people take the clean cut look too far.

  • GoutMachine

    I don’t know anything about Alabammy politix, but I assume he’ll get a big slice of the vote pie because he’s a Strong Christian Man who is Standing Firm for His Beliefs and running a Righteous Crusade against the Godless Libruls.

    • Wes Grogan

      Honestly, he barely won the vote for Chief Justice, and it was at the height of Tea Party mania with his opponent clearly a commie socialist pinko. Of course, we also have a woman named Twinkle who will be running for governor and in the last year the heads of our executive, legislative, and judicial branches have all been removed from office, so there’s just no telling.

  • Wes Grogan

    The only upside to this would be knowing who the legislative shit-muffin of the year is going to be for six years.

    Guys, in all seriousness, I’m from Alabama. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Luther Strange, my halfwit Southern Cousin, Master of the Misfit Arts.”
    — Stephen Strange

  • Alan

    Are people stupid enough to elect this guy?

    • Wes Grogan

      I live in Mobile, AL. I can tell you without hesitation that there is a definite, but not certain, chance he could win the Senate seat.

      • Alan

        Oh I’m sorry.

    • Lizzietish81

      Do you really need to ask anymore?

    • GoutMachine

      Have you met Americans?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      It’s the U.S. Senate, he’ll fit right in. :-(

    • Proud Liberal

      It’s Alabama. What do you think?

    • janecita

      Yes.

    • IHaveThoughts

      Almost certainly. On the one hand I feel kind of bad for Alabama because Roy Moore is incompetent. On the other hand, I feel like if they vote for him, they’ve earned him.

  • diogenez

    So many terrible people.

  • Master Contrail Program
  • jesterpunk
  • Ezio

    And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I do not take right wingers seriously when they always single out Muslim majority countries as being anti-gay and ignore what they do here.

    • GoutMachine

      They’re really just jealous that they’ve figured out theocracy.

      • Meccalopolis

        True. My radical fundie cousin who converts homesick foreign college students always gushes about how the Muslims are doing it right in those annoying fliers he sends out.

    • jesterpunk
      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        That’s a lot of nuts!

        • jesterpunk

          We are talking about Republicans here….

  • Crystalclear12

    So. . . he’s the new senator is what you’re saying.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Unless they catch him eating his grits the wrong way, probably.

    • Greyhame

      I’m sure Alabama will continue to live-up to our expectations of them.

  • schmannity

    And to think, they said the evil dumbfuckery of Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, III could not be replaced.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    If we throw glitter on him, you think he’d melt?

    • Meccalopolis

      Glam him, find out

  • maxneanderthal

    The Talibchurian Candidate….

  • Jgb979

    Hey Alabama? You still want out???

    Doors open! You can take mississippi and Arkansas with you

    • Proud Liberal

      And take the fuckwitted president with you!

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      They can leave all they want. They just can’t take the real estate.

      • Marsupial99

        I’d be willing to part with it… but they have to take it somewhere else. Not here.

  • anon_the_great

    Just had the weirdest insight. These racist, bigots and corporate whores of which Roy Moorer is a fine example are like antebellum Southern Pols in that censorship, disbarment if not actual convictions are badges of honor for them. Telling these assholes to shut up and sit down only makes them feel better. You can you see the conundrum we have here.

  • m3bosha

    OT… But Caitlyn Jenner was on The View this morning, trying to cover her ass for voting for Trump. She was all “well, I regret my vote when it comes to LGBT issues, but I really want to see what he’ll do for limited government and taxes, because I’m a republican.” Then she had the holy shit cut off your nose despite your face when asked what anything positive he’s done so far, and his response was “well I really wanted a conservative SC justice appointed”. AHHEMMM….. dude, this SCJ is not on your side. Fuck pubs be dumb.

    • jesterpunk

      Actually no, that tweet doesnt work here. She is the typical “fuck you I got mine” republican.

    • Christopher Story

      And before Trump she voted for Ted Cruz. The sooner people stop trying to bill her as a champion of the LGBT community and show her for the alt-right Nazi sympathizer she is, the better.

  • dslindc

    Dear Roy Moore,

    We regret to inform you that your services are no longer desired in any public office anywhere. Please fuck off forever.

    Regards,
    Me

  • elviouslyqueer
    • dslindc

      Now we just need the voters in Alabama to adopt this view.

      • Judithrmoore

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        • dslindc

          No. Your comment is bad and you should feel bad. #blocked

          • Grumpy Twat

            Also, too; typos and only a single space after that first full stop.

  • Nockular cavity

    What the hell’s wrong with his head? Did he have the 10 Commandments duct-taped to his head as a boy, or something?

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Forceps? Or possibly hydrocephalus, which would explain a lot.

  • exinkwretch

    If Judge Roy makes it to D.C., do you think he would be caught molesting a page in the Senate Cloakroom during the first week of his term or the second?

    • Parakeetist

      Second.

      • efoveks

        I don’t know whether to classify your response as optimistic or pessimistic…

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Doesn’t Miss Roy just look like the belle of the ball in that picture?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      He looks like a clapper-less belle to me.

  • Granny Sprinkles

    Dear Alabama,
    I know it’s hurtful when we point at you and laugh. I see the pain you’re trying to hide by repeatedly voting for the same corrupt assholes – against your own interests – again and again. Believe me, I understand.
    Sincerely, West Virginia

    PS: I’m still betting on the home team to lose the March To The Bottom Madness tournament, though Kansas has me a bit worried.

    • Relativicus

      The only thing that hurts 80% of Alabamans is “WAR EAGLE!” The only thing that hurts all of them is “Geaux Tigers!”

    • puredog

      I have this bigoted Northern rationalist opinion of the Alabama electorate, I’ll admit it. Still, this guy is such a craven fuckwad, I find myself wondering if his occupancy of the Republican side of the ticket might possibly — just possibly — enable someone of the Democratic persuasion (as defined in Alabama, yes, yes, I know it would not be the kind of candidate who would get elected in, say, Massachusetts) to beat his sorry ignorant ass in a run for the Senate? Anyway, it’s pretty to think so.

    • Robert James Nugent

      Kansas has lots of returning experience and a deep bench. You can never count out Sam Brownback and Kris Kobach.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    If only fuckheads like that would just be so kind as to up and die (with votes) the world would be so much better for us sane people.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cb18ff81dcb499ea45fc77ac811f6cc0f6994abcb0729e612d198e37279677a2.gif

  • Relativicus

    Roy vs. Luther. The Sophie’s Choice of Rednecks.

  • Under all that sanctimonious prattle Moore probably has a history of rough trade in bathroom stalls decades long.

    • Contemplative Ron

      He does fit the profile.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      It must be really hard to be a hooker and have to look at faces like his while doing your job.

    • Parakeetist

      Indeed.

  • FlownΩver

    I smell the possibility of an objection to Moore’s taking the oath of office if he wins. He’s pretty much “God is in charge of the government,” so to swear (or affirm) that he will “support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic” would be at odds with his view of the Big Guy in the Sky. Add in a history of telling state officials to ignore the Supreme Court and you’ve got yourself a popcorn-worthy dust-up when he shows up in the Senate chamber.

  • Nyumbu

    I guess if he’s elected he won’t be having lunch with Lindsey Graham.

    • Poly_Ester

      They should get along fine in that closet.

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    Can someone please explain to me how it is these fuckwads are suspended/resign in shame from whatever gov’t position. Yet are allowed to go on to run/win higher gov’t position? Seriously. I do not understand. In the real world, if you’re fired from a job for gross misconduct or something terrible, you generally have a hard time finding a better job after. The LAST thing we need right now is another LGBT-hater in DC.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Well, we live in a society where a lot of rich investment bankers can fuck up the entire planet’s economy, and not only do they not go to jail, but they get bail-outs and bonuses. Meanwhile, your Cousin Ernie loses his job and his house and his pension due to them, and when he applies for welfare he is called a lazy slob and required to take a urine test before he can feed his children. It all makes no sense at all.

      • MeerkatsRMammals

        I’m pretty sick of the rich getting richer while telling the rest of us to “pull yourself up by the boot straps” :(

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Didn’t that happen in France that one time? It did not work out well for the rich if memory serves…

          • MeerkatsRMammals

            Something about cake, right? Wasn’t Trump just talking about cake the other day?!?!

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I always want to laugh when I hear people say “pull yourself up by the boot straps” because our boots used to be made in the US when I was growing up, and now they are all made in China and they are crap. There’s a socio-political statement in there somewhere, but it’s time for bed and I’m too tired to think it through.

          • Zyxomma

            My winter boots (shearling lined and waterproof) were made in Canada. They just got through their 12th winter, although to be fair, I did get them re-soled here in NY two years ago. They have no straps, just laces.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Canada makes good stuff. I went out to buy a wood double bed frame 11 ago and discovered that no American bed manufacturer makes double bed frames anymore – they are all Queen or King. The only double bed frame I could get was made in Canada, and I had to order it from a catalog. It is an excellent bed and far better made than the ones I saw in local stores. And I’d like to know why there is a much greater range and variety of kitchen appliances in Canada and the UK and Europe than I can get in the US. This is bizarre, because they are all made by the same companies, yet the variety of styles available in the US is very limited. The best examples are refrigerators and cooktops. I needed a fridge to fit in a space that was 34″ wide and 69″ tall, and I could find exactly 4 styles to choose from in American stores that would fit. Then I looked on a UK site and found 15, but I can’t buy any of them. It’s insane. When I needed a 24″ gas cooktop, I had to buy one in Canada.

    • Robert James Nugent

      Welcome to the Bible belt

  • duckshoe

    And Strange, the incumbent, is an influence peddling conman. What a primary.

    • kaydenpat

      I guess it’s too much for a girl to dream that a Republican could win a Congressional Senate seat. Sigh.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    This guy’s face reminds me strongly of some evil space alien I saw in a science fiction movie or TV show long ago, or possibly a vampire, but I can’t remember which one. He looks like he is about to drink human blood or convert Grandma into fuel for the Mother Ship.

  • tinker12
    • UpstateNYObserver

      We need retire that word, it implies that they’re simply neurotic like all the other phobias. They hate someone simply because of who that person loves. Asshole is just too generic. Perhaps Wonkette could sponsor a contest that would help find a new way to describe irrational haters of gays? Unfortunately Santorum is already taken but this is along the same lines. Thinking caps on everyone..

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        Yes, I agree. Gay-hater? Weakling? The only “fear” they have is about their own masculinity, so it really should be Hominophobia (closely related to Humminaphobia, fear of the Honeymooners).

        • Opalescent Riddles

          It’s fear of their own gheyness, so how about autohomophobia, and/or homoautophobia.

        • Dudleydidwrong

          I thought Humminaphobia was fear of hummus, something that strikes me whenever I shop at the Safeway or Trader Joe’s. Vocabulary is hard.

          • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

            No, no, that’s garbanzophobia, isn’t it?

          • Dudleydidwrong

            I’ve had the vaccine for garbanzophobia.

      • FlownΩver

        irrational haters of gays?

        iHOGs?

        • UpstateNYObserver

          That’s a great start. It has a nice ring to it…

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Moorists?

  • market apartments

    All the wrong people have guns.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      And votes.

  • not_vh

    talk about face being the index of mind, he even looks creepy. at any moment he seems ready and willing to abduct a child.

  • PixieThis

    Why is it always the creepy looking guys who have these beliefs? And vans with “free candy” scrawled on the side? I mean, he looks like the kind of guy who would talk to you about sin, while touching you inappropriately.

    • not_vh

      exactimento. my thoughts precisely.

    • Me not sure

      I believe “Free Candy” is the new state motto. I saw it on a license plate.

      • Zyxomma

        Nothing’s free in Waterworld.

    • Carole

      Word on the street is the City of Montgomery had to relocate a school because it was within 500 feet of the Alabama Supreme Court.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Homophobic men make me sick to my stomach. Men are always telling me
    how awful it would be if some gay man propositioned them, or touched
    them, as if women haven’t been putting up with men raping them and
    harassing them and making unwelcome advances to them for 10,000 years.
    And when we complain about it, they tell us it’s our own fault. They can dish it out, but they can’t take it.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      That’s why they’re homophobic. That’s exactly why they’re homophobic. They are horrified at the idea of someone treating them the way they treat women. The other reason is when they’re suppressing their own gayness, i.e., making “a choice” to lead “a straight lifestyle”–that’s why they have the absurd nomenclature of calling gayness a choice, or a lifestyle. It’s all about fear and hate and weakness.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Yep, you nailed it. And the look on their faces for 3 seconds right after I tell them this is priceless – it is absolute fury and rage at being found out.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Well put!

      • UpstateNYObserver

        ” fear and hate and weakness.” Those three words sum up just about every bigoted asshole that ever lived.

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          Don’t forget stupid.

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        This sounds contradictory, but I believe that gay sex is a naturally occurring desire among straight men. Worshipping each other’s masculinity is seen every day in professional sports. I am not talking about bisexuality where an emotional attraction of wanting to have a relationship with another man is involved. Quick, anonymous sex between straight men is WAY more common than most people think…or admit as the case may be. The problem is that due to society’s intolerance that desire scares the hell out of most guys.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          I don’t know if this is true. However, I also do not believe that there is one type of man that homosexual men would all find attractive any more than I believe that there is one type of man that heterosexual women would all find attractive.

          • …well. There is JT…just sayin…

          • Opalescent Riddles

            JT* is on the short list of “if I were stranded on a desert island with one other person…” but so is Rachel Maddow. There is a hell of a lot more to my life than workin’ the gherkin.

            * I assume you mean Justin Trudeau, but I’d also accept James Taylor.

          • Unregistered Hijabi Rockstar

            Justin Timberlake?

        • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

          Of course it is. But you say “due to society’s intolerance” when it is “due to homophobes’ intolerance.” I’m fine with it, so are you, and so are most decent people. It’s not “society,” it’s the gay-haters. The gay-haters who are making a choice to suppress their natural inclinations, then become furious at those who don’t, or, are using gay-hate as a “cover,” are the ones who are the problem, not society. The only thing I will say is that there are gay-haters who have the misfortune to be raised in some vile church, absorb the teaching, and think themselves to be “abominations,” and I feel terribly sorry for them. Again, though, it is the church, which itself is led by gay-haters (who themselves are often closet gays), who is it at fault in those cases.

      • Tiffany de Houston

        Bingo!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Maybe 100,000 years

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I caught a news bite on PBS news hour tonight saying they found a mastodon skeleton in California that indicates humans moved into North America 100,000 years earlier than anyone thought. If that is true, then it means that humans left Africa about 100,000 years earlier than we think, which means your reply should be “Maybe 200,000 years.” Either way, it’s too damn long.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      And they seem to think about how awful it would be to have a gay guy hit on them….A LOT!

      • Opalescent Riddles

        I can say through personal experience that it’s not awful, and they should not worry about it any more than having women hit on them.

  • kaydenpat

    Unfortunately, in such a red state, he may cruise to victory. Would be a shame. Republicans really need to get a handle on their bigots. It’s embarrassing.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      In Bammy they’re most proud of their ignorant bigots. Seriously, you’d think that it’s some kind of Stupid Contest or something.

  • Up In Smoke O’hontas

    He will be as bad at Senating as his is a lawing and handsoming, because he is a dumb, ugly god botherer who probably smells. See, I can judge too!

  • Alabama is an on-going social experiment where all the smarter folks have left for a better state.

  • Swampgas_Man

    Eeeugghhhh. That face.

  • Scooby

    Is Alabama an island in the Pacific?

    • Me not sure

      It should be!

      • Scooby

        That would be too nice for them.

    • dshwa

      If we wait long enough for the polar caps to melt, a good part of Alabama will be underwater.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      It was, until the Pacific vomited it like a hair ball. Unfortunately it landed on N. America.

  • Manhattan123

    Self-loathing closet case.

  • Goposaur

    The only noise I ever want to hear from him is a lightning bolt strike.

    As a private citizen, he’s welcome to spew whatever sewage dribbles out of his cortex, but as a public servant, nope and nope.

    He is bad at being a human being.
    The Emu of Disappointment is disappointed at him for continuing to be him.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/32389a64e1eb238ff47e1ebd081fbec9e94a84804bb0f5357ae086a6df16131e.jpg

    • Me not sure

      I’m not sure if he’s completely human. He looks a little squiddy to me. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6ef517129bfd6f198f211c3dfee597e8730614ad788f80947e0d79ca615e02ea.jpg

    • Fifth-and-a-Half Element

      All hail the Emu of Disappointment!

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Here is my namesake. I met him recently at the Bonorong Wildlife Sanctuary in Hobart, Tasmania. Although, my closest thing to fatherhood responsibility would be changing the litter box. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0387fe9bfe3b53ebe213bd70581a49f88e67c5e231064840959475013c41152f.jpg

      • Goposaur

        that’s one heck of a litter box for an emu

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          Actually, the whole park is a litter box for kangaroos. You haven’t lived till you’ve had to scrape kangaroo shit out of the tread of your shoes. And having a joey eat right of your hand is pretty cool, as well!

          • Goposaur

            sounds lovely. if you’re into dropbears, flying box jellyfish, poisonous snakes that go after your dingus, and lord knows what else that you cover up.

            I like them utes, and I figure I’m part Bogan, so, what the heck… let’s throw a party!

      • Goposaur

        meant to say, an Emu is gonna need a heck of a litterbox. I mean, I used to have a St.Bernard, and his litterbox was 5 acres of woods. 30, if you count my indignant neighbors.

  • Jukesgrrl

    Look at that face. Surely some kind of sex crime can be dug up against this guy. Judging from the exploits of their recently renounced governor, Alabamas aren’t quite as forgiving of pussy-grabbing as some other voters.

    • redblack

      sex crime, yeah. if not by him then certainly by his parents during his conception.

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    Make America good again? Again? When was that exactly? I would like to know at what point in time America became no longer good. One more thing, why do you hate America?

  • pgjack

    “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.” That seems pretty unambiguous to me and ‘Bama dung spewer sure seems intent on restricting homosexuals’ right to pursue happiness. Conservative christians are America’s Taliban. All religion is individual interpretation. Everyone who reads any “holy” book interprets it differently than every other person who reads that same book.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      And the Bible was written by God so it is infallible. Which is why there are so many different versions of it?

  • miss_grundy

    And there are very stupid people in Alabama who would vote for this putz.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Well, he’s running for Sessions old seat so nothing new here!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Sessions? The Russian asset Sessions?

    • mrpuma2u

      Sadly, many southern voters are one issue voters, and since this guy is pro-life and pro-gunz, that will take care of most of the reactionary honkeys he needs to win.

  • Panika MCD

    maybe he would like to run for one of those openings at FOX instead! I hear there are a lot of those that recently became open. but he needs to be reminded about how there is a line between verbal sexual harassment and waking people up in the middle of the night about that falafel thing.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    I hate to sound like an upper-class British twit, but last names like Sessions and Strange make me think that these people come from families that haven’t had last names for very long.

    • Zyxomma

      Tell that to Benedict Cumberbatch, who kept insisting that he was not Mr. Strange, but DOCTOR Strange. Horrible soundtrack ruined what could have been a fun movie.

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        I had no problem with the soundtrack, and I thought it was absolutely fucking hysterical, the best one next to ant man with the greatest ending of all time. Even the first avengers was not quite as good, I think. But, I am a massive cumberbatch fan, so there’s that.

        • Zyxomma

          I’m an unrepentant Cumberbitch; I adore him. I loved the look of the film, and since I’m also a fan of Mads Mikkelsen, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and Tilda Swinton, I thought I’d really enjoy it. Would have, too, had it not been for the music and sound effects.

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        Unless you mean sfx, which were obviously intended for 5.1 surround.

        • Zyxomma

          Nope. I abhor having my eardrums pummeled, and by music that’s so bad it doesn’t even approach mediocrity. Awful. Then again, I don’t like being told what to feel with musical cues. It’s why I won’t go to a theatre to see Spielberg. My ears are not garbage cans. The worst offenders are John Williams and Danny Elfman, and the music for Dr. Strange was horribly Elfmanic.

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      This is Alabama. There’s very little introduction of new last names into their family trees. We’re not joking when we call them sister-fucking rednecks: they actually are.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      All were named “Oog” until they discovered they needed different last names so they could get government benefits. Then it was whatever they could spell.

  • BrendaKay

    This. is. brilliant. “Unfortunately God failed to grant cert. :(“

  • thixotropic jerk

    When do all the stoopid people get to have their own planet to relocate to? Is there a dumbo-rapture coming for fine folks like Moore? These questions do not keep me up at night and neither do the crazy answers I come up with.

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    Auburn University told Richard Spencer to go speak somewhere else. It’s not all bad in Alabama.

    • Mike Steele

      Just mostly bad. Moore or Strange? Howzabout hemlock? Are there ANY viable (D)s down there?

  • Incoming “/FFS” Ham

    Hows about we “Make America Not Be The Laughingstock Of The World?”

    • Too late.

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        Yeah, I think that ship has sailed. Maybe we can recover some of what was lost by replacing as many of the nuts as we can in 2018 …

        • Pierre, you may not send them here. 🇦🇺

          I hear that we may be taking more refugees tho, they are much nicer than republicans or fascist nazi wannabes.

          Anyhoo, we’re still laughing 😂

          Not at Americans so much as the current administration.

          Most normal people here feel sorry for you guys. 🙁

  • Raan

    So, you know how Democrats and other assorted liberals (i.e. most of us) are really angry over The Evil One and the idiotic bullshit he’s doing? And how a lot of people oppose his policies and are channeling their anger into activism? And how President Baby probably isn’t going to stop doing and saying dumb shit in the, what, about a year and a half until the midterms?

    I guess what I’m saying is, this race might be fun.

  • Skaarphy

    Germany here. Wouldn’t that be a solution: Same-sex marriages by state is the universal law, same-sex marriages by church is up to the respective churches?

    That way the only people who would suffer were same-sex couples who want to get married by church but belong to one that doesn’t allow it. They would then have to either look for another church or not get married.
    Everybody else should be happy.

    Or is there something I’m missing?

    • rick

      America here, gays can be married wherever they damn well please…because America.

      • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

        We can’t, and most of us are OK with that. It matters little to me that I can’t get married in a Catholic church (my childhood denomination) or a conservative synagogue (my hubby’s). Most of us are not/never were seeking approval from religious organizations, we demanded equal treatment under the law.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Basically, Skaarphy, that’s what the situation is: gay marriage is legal but individual denominations and clergy can choose not to perform such marriages. The issue with pseudo-judge/jury/executioner Roy Moore is that he decreed from Mt. Sinai that no marriages of gay-type folks would occur in his world.

    • Ah, but people like Moore believe that secular Law is secondary to the “Laws” of his particular twisted Christian sect, and that the religious tenets he follows should be imposed on the country (and world) at large, in a Christian-ruled Dominion.

      In their minds, if the State affirms marriages other than those *they* believe valid, then it somehow weakens the validity of *their* marriages.

  • rick

    With Trump and his Alt-Right posse in cabinet positions, idiots like Roy Moore think the Alt-Right are so in vague, there’s an actual mandate for their shit-way of thinking.

  • William Cook

    I try to keep an open mind about the American South, but Alabama conforms to stereotypes pretty closely doesn’t it?

    • Joseph Stans

      Why should I open my mind to accommodate nasty backward low dull people who begin closing their mind about five years old and continue until it snaps shut and locks. There are not many places in the world with fewer redeeming qualities than Alabama.

      • ThaagNasty

        Alabamans are like abuse victims who left strict but loving parents to run off with some asshole: they will keep going back to their abusers until they reach that breaking point when they overcome their fear of what their authority figures would do if they didn’t capitulate.

  • mardam422

    “We can make America great again, we’ve got to make America good again,” Moore said.
    Good AND great?? All at once????

    • Moore (and too many others) likely see that as an insightful comment, addressing two different things.

      “Greatness” has to do with secular dominance in the world — authoritarian power and success.

      The “good” is about imposing on the country and world the hateful Christian “morality” in which he believes.

  • Trish62

    I live a few miles away from Moore’s home town. I have seen him in local restaurants with his entourage. He is a repellent individual that if you shook his hand you would subconsciously wipe the karmic slime off your skin.

    He is creepy, totally in love with himself (I used to think it was a summer thing) and believes that the small little group of fanboi’s he has represent the desires of everyone in the state of Alabama.

    That’s not saying that he doesn’t have a following; Alabama seems to have large numbers of morons who will fall for anyone who makes just the right kind of noises that appeal to their intolerant dark hearts.

  • Roy Moore, as with others who agree with his twisted views, do and say evil in the name of God. What a coincidence that they are able to use the Bible to “justify” their hate.

  • Jack Rogue Tenhet

    Okay, this I can speak on with personal authority. Roy Moore is, in fact, an evil bastard. I’d dealt with his foul stink since 2002 when he issued the following ruling in February of that year (Citations follow actual ruling)

    “Homosexual behavior is a ground for divorce, an act of sexual misconduct punishable as a crime in Alabama, a crime against nature, an inherent evil, and an act so heinous that it defies one’s ability to describe it. That is enough under the law to allow a court to consider such activity harmful to a child. To declare that homosexuality is harmful is not to make new law but to reaffirm the old; to say that it is not harmful is to experiment with people’s lives, particularly the lives of children.”
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roy_Moore#Early_prayer.2FTen_Commandments_controversy
    http://caselaw.findlaw.com/al-supreme-court/1303306.html

    He issued this ruling as a reason for denying custody to a mother based on her sexuality alone, despite the allegations of abuse by her ex husband. He based his denial of custody based solely on the woman’s homosexuality.

    Later, he had a two and a half ton stone monument installed in the State Capitol rotunda, in violation of ever law and even common sense of reason.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1a602c1bcf15e8e863224ad4d83e5dc6b8e6ba1a1c35ff8d5c7c81e36211b5d9.jpg

    He is, in fact, evil. He is dangerous and cannot be taken lightly.

    • ThaagNasty

      I concur. I live in that city.

  • Foundryman

    He looks better with his white pointed hood on.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      He does look uncomfortable without it.

  • Upright Ape

    There’s still room at that “farm upstate” for Ol’ Roy, along with O’Reilly, Ailes, hopefully Anthony Wiener, and now Jesse Watters, who recently fantasized on Fox about Ivanka Trump performing felatio upon him and is now “taking a vacation with his family”. I guess all those racist Water’s World segments didn’t count as much as the royal daughter.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I’m just amazed Judge Cracker has restrained himself from denouncing interracial marriage. You know he wants to.

  • Rex Thorne

    What would crazy bigot who tries to push his absurd superstitions on others know about making American great or good.

  • Ray in VT

    Come on guys. Give the man a break. Don’t you know how hard it was to be a white, male, conservative, anti-gay nutjob from January 2009 to January 2017? They were as persecuted by Obama as the rich people were.

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    Roy Moore is one of the things I point to when someone accuses me of only hating Alabama because of college football.

  • ThaagNasty

    He tried to run for governor about 11ish years ago. Didn’t make it past the primaries.

  • Joseph Stans

    I don’t think we should over think this. They are just stupid and and have no moral or ethical rudder. The philosophy they would use for guidance was shabby 2000 years ago and it has not any better today. The best among them are little more than junk yard dogs.

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