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Expendable. Can't even ride a 4-wheeler on that thing!
Metate Arch in Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument.

It’s pretty much spring, and a fine time to get out and enjoy America’s National Monuments, especially any of them that were designated by Bill Clinton or Barack Obama, because they were terrible presidents, so Donald Trump signed an executive order today calling for a “review” of national monuments designated by the three previous presidents (G.W. Bush included, for “balance,” wink-wink). Best go visit them before they’re strip-mined to Make America Great Again. It’s OK, we have plenty of pictures already.

BYE!
Cedar Mesa Citadel Ruins, Bears Ears National Monument

Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke will undertake a “careful review” of a couple dozen national monuments designated after January 1, 1996, and which cover at least 100,000 acres. Zinke will take a serious look at whether to recommend Congress change their status as protected land. Now, if that sounds like those criteria just might have been carefully crafted to undo some very specific National Monuments that Republicans don’t like, then you are a very cynical person indeed, and right on the money. Because it is totally about the money. Or local input, you know, so an out-of-control federal government won’t ignore the wishes of ranchers, timber interests, and the extraction industries, who are every bit as important as a bunch of stupid “sensitive habitats” or “natural wonders” or “sacred Native American lands” and “irreplaceable archaeological sites.” If critters and Indians — Republicans give equal amounts of respect to both — think they have a claim to Western lands, they shouldn’t rely on Democrat handouts, they should get jobs and buy them.

Zinke explained all this Tuesday evening, saying President Trump simply wanted “to make sure the people have a voice” when it comes to lands that might be closed off to making the people — the ones who matter — filthy rich. Or in Zinkean English,

“It restores the trust between local communities and Washington,” Zinke told reporters, adding that the sweeping review of more than two dozen monuments aims “to give Americans a voice and make sure their voices are heard.”

Americans who vote Republican, that is.

Rs in the west have, since the Reagan years, wanted to get rid of or at least limit the Antiquities Act of 1906, passed by that notorious socialist Theodore Roosevelt, who claimed to be a Republican but is only acknowledged by the party when it’s convenient. The Antiquities Act gives presidents the power to declare national monuments without an act of Congress, so obviously any Democrat national monuments, like Grand Staircase-Escalante (Bill Clinton, 1996) or Bears Ears and Gold Butte (Barack Obama, 2016), need a new look, because there is all sorts of money to be made and now the stupid things are off-limits to the exploitation that God clearly demanded in the Bible.

Not that Zinke will act rashly or anything. He’ll take a whole 45 days to review the Bears Ears monument before making a specific recommendation to please Utah Republicans, who are very unhappy that all that land is just sitting there going to waste now. The Antiquities Act doesn’t empower presidents to undo a national monument designation, though Crom knows until now no president has even tried it. Zinke’s review will carefully weigh whether preserving the land as part of America’s natural and cultural heritage actually counts for anything, as compared to these important considerations:

Zinke said he will examine whether any designations had led to “loss of jobs, reduced wages and reduced public access” in areas where grazing, fishing and other extractive activities take place. “We’ll look at what sectors have been affected, plus or minus,” he said, acknowledging that with several designations, “some jobs probably have been created by recreational opportunities.”

Not that a bunch of damned campers voted for Trump, of course. Even so, folks in the tourism industry aren’t crazy about the monuments being opened up to logging, mining, and drilling, so their economic influence, plus a lot of angry outdoorsy people, may be enough to help build resistance to changes in Congress, we can hope.

Besides, the executive order and its nod to the folks who want to dismantle public lands have already been issued within Trump’s first 100 days, so after that, if we’re lucky, he may lose interest.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations! Please click that “Donate” linky below the story so we won’t have to sell the drilling rights under our survival bunker in Idaho, or allow strip-mining of Donna Rose’s sandbox.

[Verge / WaPo / Politico / Image: Top photo by John Fowler from Placitas, NM CC BY 2.0; second photo by Bureau of Land Management]

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  • Michael R
  • MynameisBlarney

    Why are republicans so fucking intent on destroying everything?

    • dluch

      Profits

      • MynameisBlarney

        Won’t be anyone to profit from if everything’s dead.

        • Oblios_Cap

          No one said they were too smart.

    • writersbloc

      As Nick Nolte once said in “Blue Chips”- “It’s about money. Just GODDAMN MONEY!”

    • Annie Jomes

      I feel like the simplest way to describe them is to say that they have no souls. I’m an atheist and don’t even believe in souls, but it’s a succinct way to get at their lack of appreciation for/understanding of natural beauty. They have no sense of wonder, they feel no awe, the grandeur of natural monuments means nothing to them. They are hollow inside. Soulless.

    • Claire

      This is what it looks like when they’re down to the last bits of profit they can extract from this country. When they’re done here, they’ll move on to another one. I hear New Zealand is fashionable nowadays.

  • PubOption

    Rename the park Gold Butt. Trump will think it’s a monument to him.

  • CogitoErgoBibo
  • MynameisBlarney

    LOL

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/04/ann-coulter-cancels-her-speech-at-uc-berkeley/

    Coultergheist cancels her shrill hate-speech after makin such a big fuss about it.

    • Oblios_Cap

      No one was buying tickets.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Plus the agitators were publicly outed about their plans to provoke the protestors.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Ahhh.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      “I looked over my shoulder and my allies had joined the other team,” she wrote.

      WTF?

      • Noxious Resistance

        “The other team” being “the humans”.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Ahh, thank you for the clarification. It makes sense, now. :)

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      “There will be no speech,” she wrote in an email to Reuters on Wednesday, saying two conservative groups sponsoring her speech were no longer supporting her. “I looked over my shoulder and my allies had joined the other team,” she wrote.

      So the wingnuts are turning on her? Good to know!

      • Erala Contratista

        Well, a fine bunch of allies you people turned out to be!

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    The Antiquities Act doesn’t empower presidents to undo a national monument designation, though Crom knows until now no president has even tried it.

    I imagine this will go up to the Supremes and Gorsuch will say “Well, the statute clearly says ‘the President’. It doesn’t say which President.”

  • Nothing is valued but money by the Republican party. Human life, happiness, joy, the environment, clean drinking water and air, human rights, families, they don’t matter unless they can be exploited to make a buck.

    Their ideal future is a blend of gated communities, strip malls, blasted toxic wastelands, and perhaps a few national parks preserved and owned by the Disney Company.

    • DrBigHead

      If it cannot be monetized, it ain’t worth shit..

    • calliecallie

      Hunger Games, and they live in the Capitol.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Strange, ain’t it, that it’s all the rubes in the boonies that vote ’em in.

  • Anna Rompage

    What was once Yosemite will now be known as the ‘Donald & Ivanka Trump National Quartz Mine & Granite Quarry’!

    Yes, come on down and see the inner working of a quartz mine & granite quarry. Stay at our beautiful, Trump resort, where you will be served by actual real miners who are working for their stay over in the employee camp & working off their debt to the company store (when they’re not down in the mines), and have a real California Miner’s Taco Bowl!

    • Oblios_Cap

      You can check in, but you can’t check out!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Washington and Oregon have both, predictably, acted pretty quickly to tell Donald to fuck the fuck off.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I just had this argument with an Eastern Washington pol. “But, it’s our (the State’s) land!”
      “No it isn’t. It was the (Nez Perce) Tribe’s land. Then, after anglos started building illegal settlements, the Feds took it from the Tribe, called it “public land, ” then later called it National Forest. It was never the State’s land. The State of Washington wasn’t even the State’s land. The federal government negotiated it away from the British and created a Territory. Washington didn’t spring up from nowhere — it is literally a creation of the federal government.”
      “But, but . . . we know how to manage it better.”

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Do tell! How/where is the fuck off??

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    I am flattered. I really am, but… there is no National Monument between my legs :)

  • Chadwells
  • Oblios_Cap

    Well, it really won’t matter, what with the dismantling of the EPA and lack of action to try and mitigate the effects of climate change.

  • Ezio

    Okay wingnuts, how is it not a form of fascism to try and decide what does or doesn’t get to qualify as a national monument?

  • elviouslyqueer

    Lovely. So basically Mango Mussolini’s 100 days can be distilled down to:

    1. Carp about fake media
    2. Putin
    3. Activist judges
    4. Ivanka’s panties
    5. Destroy everything

    PROFIT!!!

    • Shoto

      It’s the circle of life!

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Splitting up families because reasons.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “It restores the trust between local communities and Washington,” Zinke told reporters, adding that the sweeping review of more than two dozen monuments aims “to give Americans a voice and make sure their voices are heard.”

    Here’s a voice for you, asshole:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d4e0c2ef65c956d7ca460a095af54a0f18a51793a4a955691a46bbb5c49e71f2.jpg

    • Claire

      The fucking gall. If Americans’ voices had been heard we’d have President Hillary right now.

  • rick

    You know that Christoper Street moment in NYC of Stonewall Inn, the birthplace of gay resistance, is Target Numero Uno on Trump’s list.

    • Thiazin Red

      I don’t see that going over well.

      But what would someone even do with it? Its pretty much the size of a traffic island.

      • rick

        Given the Alt-Right pretty much running the Trump Administration, any gay monument, in my opinion, will be delisted as a monument.

    • Thaumaturgist

      Rebuilt. Trump Stonewall Tower. Yooughe.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Zinke will examine whether there are drilling and mining rights to be sold, and, especially, whether these can be managed by a subsidiary of the Trump Corporation for a nominal yet exorbitant fee.

  • jesterpunk

    https://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/06/upshot/why-the-government-owns-so-much-land-in-the-west.html

    But studies have established that there would be substantial administrative
    costs for states if they took over. And the federal government
    transfers a lot of its leasing revenue back to states to compensate for
    the taxes the states might have collected if the land were in private
    hands. If they owned the land, the states would have to collect rents
    and administer permits themselves.

    An economic study from Utah in 2012 found that taking over land management would cost the state government a substantial sum: $275 million a year.

    It may turn out that if the states own it, the ranchers will just be angry
    at another level of government for a different set of reasons.

    • h4rr4r

      Not if they just auctioned it off on day 1. Which is what these folks want.

      • jesterpunk

        The states still wouldnt want it because it would still cost them more then they would get for it. Plus when those companies go away the states would have to pay for the cleanup. Wait sorry i forgot they dont think long term just what they can make money on now.

        • h4rr4r

          How would it cost more?
          Feds give states land for $0, land is sold for $100. Cost of auction on ebay is very low.

          • jesterpunk

            State gets X per year from the Feds for that land plus tourism money.

            State sells land for $100 to private companies

            State no longer gets X per year or tourism money from people who want to see the land.

          • h4rr4r

            That sounds like fancy long term talk to me. It’s my money and I want it now.

          • jesterpunk

            Just call J.G. Wentworth they will help you out.

          • Opalescent Riddles

            Right! Selling golden eggs is too slow! I want to eat the goose now.

      • OrG

        Why have an auction,just parcel it out to “campaign contributors”.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Some thing

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      This is why Nevada doesn’t want most of the land under Federal Control. Excluding the large area that is the Nevada Test Site, there is still a lot of land that is only marginally hospitable and certainly of no value for agriculture or mining interests.

  • Nounverb911
  • Undocumented Skwerl!
  • WiscoJoe

    What’s the fuss? Everyone lives in gold-plated penthouses or at luxury golf retreats, so who cares about what’s outside? Real Americans clearly don’t give a shit about things like what Utah looks like or how their tourism industry operates.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Just tell him we’ll rename the Yellowstone Lodge as TRUMP Wyoming and sell IvankaWear in the gift shop and he’ll be happy and go back to playing with trucks.

  • Me not sure
  • dslindc

    BUT EMAILS!!!!

  • schmannity

    I wish Zombie Teddy Roosevelt would kick his ass.

  • kindness

    But Hillary had an e-mail server in her basement!!!!!!!

  • snigsy

    I’m just whistling while I quietly work on finishing another tumbril.

  • Chadwells

    Nature is for poor people, apparently.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      And so they don’t deserve any.

      • Chadwells

        Yep. Bullshit.

    • BigCSouthside

      That’s exactly true. Poor folks see nature as an amusement park they can afford, rich people see it as a financial asset to be leveraged

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Has there ever been a place unmonumented? How is that even done under the Antiquities Act?

    • jesterpunk

      It has never been done before and the way the Antiquities act is written its not possible. Congress would have to write and pass a new law saying they can undo the designation.

      • Prof. T. Green Bastard

        Batting 1000 as usual, Trumpy.

        • jesterpunk

          Who knew Presidenting was so hard.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Precedenting, either….

      • Anna Rompage

        Lets not forget that they will also add a clause saying that once a monument is unprotected, it can never be protected never ever again…

        • jesterpunk

          Good thing the CRA doesnt apply to monuments. But they would have to get enough people in both houses to agree to the law first and they cant even get republicans to agree with each other.

      • Plus budgetary changes are the province of Congress

  • calliecallie

    Trump, Zinke and the lot of them can kiss my gold butte.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Good to see the GOP has their governing priorities in order during these difficult times.

    On a related note, I hope mother nature targets their homes for a nice tornado vote disaster.

  • Chadwells

    Well…we won’t have insurance to cover us if we hurt ourselves while out enjoying the parks…soooo win/win? Maybe they think they’re doing us a favor. Assholes.

  • anwisok
  • Thaumaturgist

    Am I the only one who gets those Utah tourism ads that talk about all the National Parks and National Monuments in Utah?

    • Chadwells

      Nope. We get them in LA.

    • Chadwells

      Or did you mean get…as in “understand” that Utah is flipping them off for trying to kill Obama park lands?

    • Shoto

      On a positive note, you won’t have to worry about receiving those ads for very much longer.

      ♫ Always look on the bright side of life… ♫

      Wait, wut?

    • BigCSouthside

      I get em. Probably my next trip west to be honest

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    “Charge!…..”

  • Shoto

    “Who cares about a buncha goddamed rocks? You can’t even put a decent oil rig up in there.”

    — Rex “ExxonMobil” Tillerson

  • Anna Rompage

    For a mere $1 million dollar donation to the Donad & Invaka Trump Foundation for Personal Enrichment, we’ll let you blow up a real, genuine, natural arch!

    • Please correct your spelling error from Donad to Gonad

      • Anna Rompage

        I saw it before I posted, and thought Donad had a good ring to it…

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Democrats are always playing defense. I say, it’s time to designate Mar-A-Lago a national monument to stupidity and claim it in the name of the people!…

    • Prof. T. Green Bastard

      The People already had it. We didn’t want it & sold it to Trump.

    • Anna Rompage

      I’d prefer it to be converted to a bombing range, with live fire drill while Trump is there…

    • Nockular cavity

      I say let the Atlantic Ocean declare it seafloor.

      Which it will soon enough.

    • Fartknocker

      I remember when the fine people of San Francisco wanted to rename a wastewater treatment plant after GWB2. I thought it was a thoughtful exercise of free speech.

  • MynameisBlarney

    And so it begins…

    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/04/white-house-briefing-april-26-2017

    WH briefing on tax cuts for filthy fucking rich.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Well, then they have to give up on Health Care. Can’t do both at the same time under reconciliation rules. And I have a feeling if you put both before His Fraudulency, he’ll pick tax cuts every time.

      • Shoto

        “…he’ll pick tax cuts every time.”

        That’s exactly what ZEGS Ryan and Turtle-Boy McConnell are counting on. Buncha fucking psychopaths.

    • Anna Rompage

      The biggest tax cuts in the history of the US!

      I guess they didn’t read about what happened when St Senile Ronnie did that back in the 80s and had to subsequently raise taxes by the most ever in history!

      These folks aren’t very bright, are they (yes, it’s a rhetorical question)

    • Shoto

      Slash the (marginal) corporate tax rate from 35% to 15%. What could possibly go wrong?

      Does anyone, anywhere actually buy the idiot notion of “trickle-down economics?” If you cut revenues, you’ll end up with less money in the coffers. (Duh) This ain’t exactly rocket science. Jeezuz Fuckstick on a Slash-and-Burn Bender.

      • jesterpunk

        Wait you mean every time I get more bills I am not supposed to ask my boss to cut my pay?

        • Marsupial99

          You are supposed to spend more, because that will encourage you to work harder, and make even MORE money. See? The more you spend, the more you make!

          • Marsupial99

            Which, incidentally, is also the basic premise of The Secret.

          • Claire

            You just have to work harder at manifesting abundance.

          • Marsupial99

            Live as though you already have what you want.

          • cmd resistor

            Plus, if God likes you, you will get more monies, also, too.

        • HogeyeGrex

          It helps if your dad can “loan” you a few million bucks whenever you get into trouble.

      • OrG

        Like “science” is real,rocket or otherwise.

      • Anna Rompage

        But Shoto, there’s a new magical way of thinking called Dynamic Scoring, in which all the president’s men have said that by reducing overall tax receipts by 25% or more, the deficit will go down, and we’ll have all of our debt paid off in the next 6 years!

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          And if that doesn’t work, just declare bankruptcy and stiff all the folks holding Treasury bonds!

          • Anna Rompage

            Bankruptcy has worked bigly for the Donad in the past!

          • HogeyeGrex

            That’s why so many banks were lining up to lend to him.

            Oh, wait.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            The Russians will bail us out. No worries.

      • DrBigHead

        But perhaps it will finally sink in when it fails AGAIN!!

      • cmd resistor

        Too many things reminding me of Reagan these days.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Let’s see now . . . at 15%, in order to break even, you need to create an extra $6.67 in corp profits for ever $1 you cut from their taxes.
        A 667% ROI is pretty typical, innnit?

  • Chadwells

    OT: not sure what to say about this…

    “White House Readies Order To Quit NAFTA: Administration Official”

    http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_5900d5c0e4b081a5c0f9ff72?ir=Politics&utm_hp_ref=politics

  • Undocumented Skwerl!
    • Shoto

      “That splosion blowed up good!!”

      — Ryan Zinke

    • Alan

      It’s soooo beautiful!

  • ArgieBargie

    “President Trump today signed an executive order calling for a review of lands designated as national monuments, saying the practice had turned into a ‘massive federal land grab.'”

    And trust me, this man knows a thing or two about grabbing.

    • jowgajen

      It. was. already. Federal. land.

      • ArgieBargie

        I thought it was just “locker room talk.”

      • elviouslyqueer

        Oh, you and your “facts.”

    • MynameisBlarney

      Without fail, turmp demonstrates his abject ignorance several times a day.

    • HogeyeGrex

      I’m sure there is a tribe or three that would agree, but I doubt that’s what he’s talking about.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      He wants to be the only one to grab vast tracts of land.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Why does this make me think of that time the Taliban blew up the Buddhas of Bamiyan back in 2001?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Because both the taliban and the turmp regime are incredibly ignorant assholes?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Yes, and unfortunately they are incredibly ignorant assholes with a lot of power. I live surrounded by a lot of incredibly ignorant assholes who do not have power, and the worst thing they can do is shoot off fireworks at 3 am every night for 3 weeks in July.

        • MynameisBlarney

          For now.
          I think turmp and his minions are gonna fall. Sooner rather than later.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            But who will they take with them before that happens? I have friends who will DIE if the ACA is repealed.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Hopefully the only casualties will be the GOP.

            But it looks like the pace is picking up a bit.

            http://crooksandliars.com/2017/04/sen-mccain-flynn-russian-activities-are

          • Judithrmoore

            My last paycheck was $22500 for working 12 hours a week online.Start earning $97/hour by working online from your home for few hours each day with GOOGLE… Get regular payments on weekly basis… All you need is a computer, internet connection and a litte free time… Read more here
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    • snigsy

      I dunnoh, toddler rage, maybe?

    • Nockular cavity

      It shouldn’t, because Muslin. Nothin’ to do with us, praise Jesus.

    • Alan

      Because you should?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Is there some way we can creatively combine the words “Republican” and “Taliban” to make a new word that accurately describes them? I have been trying to do this for days, and I am getting nowhere.

        • Alan

          I just call them both Taliban.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          Reptaliban.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            That’s pretty good, thanks. I’m just afraid some people will think I’m talking about an endangered gecko species. I’ll give it a try and see what results I get.

          • Opalescent Riddles

            I’m not seeing a downside to confusion with a species of reptile, as it will surely be momentary.

    • kareemachan

      Or the damage done at Petra?

      • CripesAmighty

        Rome. 476ad.

  • Pilotshark

    America the Beautiful NO MORE!

    • Marsupial99

      America the Formerly Beautiful, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Trump Presidency, LLC.

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      Obviously, Great =/= Beautiful.

  • IAMBOWLINGGREEN
  • MynameisBlarney

    “Why are republicans such dicks?”

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10028981628

  • jesterpunk
  • Internet Hitler

    Review: Not a damn one of these monuments is turning a profit. Knock ’em down and put up condos (with other people’s money).

    • MynameisBlarney

      They want the resources first.
      Then they’ll build McMansions.

      • ahughes798

        And then name the development after the natural feature they destroyed to build the development.

        • CripesAmighty

          Or some fake equestrian/ersatz British themed whatsis that doesn’t/never existed.

          • ahughes798

            The Estates of Wiltshire Farms! The Heath of Forest Glenn!

          • CripesAmighty

            Cantering Downs at Fartsworth Trace…

          • ahughes798

            The Horseplops at Upside Downes.

          • CripesAmighty

            You win!

    • Vecchioivan

      Think of the possibilities. The Trump Memorial Crater Lake Landfill. Trump Devil’s Tower Resort. Trumpland, featuring the last redwood tree.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        He’d have it cut down before he thought of it as something of value. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with a fiberglass tree – less mess, no pesky birds, and best of all, you can charge people to ride up in the elevator.

  • Alan

    All those museums take up a lot of valuable space that could be used to build fast food restaurants and put people to work too.

    • BosGrl

      Don’t forget schools – condos just waiting to happen! We don’t need schools, anyway.

      • kareemachan

        I was at Breitfart yesterday, and one conservative nitwit proudly stated that she is NEVER letting her kid attend college.

        Poor kid.

        • cmd resistor

          Of course if the kid got education from her, he/she won’t get into any college anyhow.

        • C4TWOMAN

          And how is she planning to do this? Most college “kids” are legal adults. The best she can do is refuse to pay for it.

          • CripesAmighty

            And unless he has a phat trust fund, might as well get out the measuring tape for that McUniform.

      • Alan

        Yes, schools! And the fucking fire department is just sitting there sucking up tax dollars too.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          Privatize! No, wait, that sucks ballz when they do that.

  • Internet Hitler
    • Chadwells

      Just try to deny that animal instincts are real!!!!

      (Update: I really phrased this badly…but I’m standing by it!)

      • Opalescent Riddles

        I understand it perfectly. You’re saying the reality of animal instincts re human character is undeniable.

        • Chadwells

          Yes! Thank you!

    • maxneanderthal

      Reaching for anything near a raptors feet is asking for big trouble. And all sea eagles just luurrve to belt you in the ear with a wing butt. It’s like taking a full swing from a Louisville slugger…

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        Perfectly clear that Trump knows absolutely nothing about animals, including other humans

        • jesterpunk

          You could have left it at “Perfectly clear that Trump knows absolutely nothing” and it would still be valid.

          • Opalescent Riddles

            Upvote bigly.

      • ahughes798

        I’ve heard of people getting their leg broken by Canada geese in the same manner. A swan drowned a man in a retention pond in a suburb not too far from here a few yeas ago. Do not mess with big birds!

        • C4TWOMAN

          There’s a reason some farmers consider geese better than guard dogs.

          • LucindathePook

            They saved Rome from Gallic hordes at one point, no?

          • C4TWOMAN

            I’m fuzzy on those details. My knowledge of the Celts is more solid after colonizing Hyperborea aka the future British Isles. I just thought they ran sacked the place, rode off with a bunch of souvenirs and didn’t bother sticking around because Rome was all about rules and shit (BORING)and Celts are all about partying.

          • They sounded the alarm of an attack while the watchdogs were sleeping. From then on, there was always a group of “sacred geese” kept, and a festival in their honor every year in which some poor stray was stuffed in a sack and whacked to death (or some equally gruesome ritual) for the dogs being bad at their jobs.

    • HazooToo

      I read an explanatory post on that, on Tumblr, but can’t find it now. It pointed out that Uncle Sam (the eagle’s name, naturally) had been dropped by Trump in an earlier picture shoot that same day. Trump was afraid of the bird, and surprised by his weight, and the bird did not take kindly to being placed on a precarious perch like that, so freaked out and he dropped it. This is a “DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH ME AGAIN, I REMEMBER YOU!” reaction. That bird is smarter than American voters.

  • maxneanderthal

    Fairly obvious that the only way the west will have any economic future in the very long term will be by returning it to the wild in some shape or form, as per the Buffalo Commons idea. Every other type of land use will run head on into the immovable fact that it’s a desert out there, and living off prehistoric water from the Oglala aquifer is time limited.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      And that time limit is ticking down.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      But by the time the Ogallala aquifer is an underground puddle these bastards will be dead and gone. They don’t worry about their grandkids or anyone who comes after them. And half of ’em think they’ll be raptured/ruptured up into the sky anyway so they’ll leave Ft. Stinkin’ Desert for the heathen.

  • miss_grundy

    Freakin’ bald eagle should have gone for the jugular…..without votes.

    • Marsupial99

      Ill (tempered) eagles can’t vote anyway.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Why don’t they drill into Donald Trump’s head. Once they get through the thick skull it should be easy going.

    • jesterpunk

      There is nothing in his head though.

      • ahughes798

        You mean that thing that sits on his shoulders? Oh, there’s stuff in there, alright. A tiny carrot cube sized brain, surrounded by solid concrete.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Once they get through the thick skull they’ll be out the other side.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    As this to his list of accomplishments. I’m going out camping.

  • Master Contrail Program

    It seems like one monument is safe. Hell, it’s being expanded by the hour. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b4bfb2df911ca4ff9394f5fd9e7083e5c6ecc9259b0bc354fde9f78e13cd07cd.jpg

  • BigCSouthside

    I’m a lib

    But I’m also a gun owning crazy outdoors enthusiast, so I run into a LOT of conservatives in my spare time activities

    There is literally only one thing we can ever agree on and that is don’t fuck with public recreational land.

    I guarantee you even the most hardcore red state camo wearing NASCAR loving conservative motherfucker will agree with me 100% that walking through oil pumps in pheasant fields or nothing but tree stumps lining trout streams fucking sucks.

    I’ll tell you right now lumber companies get big fat chubbies at the thought of getting to harvest protected land. If they pass control of say the national forests to states, especially poor states, kiss those goodbye

    • ahughes798

      Well, if they agree with you, perhaps they should make their thoughts known to the person they elected President. The ranchers, or “squatters with hooved rats” as I like to call them, would love to see all federal land turned over to the states.

      • BigCSouthside

        Oh definitely, honestly this is the one thing I’ve seen conservatives perk up and be like “hey that’s kinda fucked up”.

        To which I generally reply “you know liberals are actually trying to protect this shit, right?”

    • SnarkON

      Fuck your fucking dumbass gun-humping conservative friends and their fucking collective hard-on for public lands. (No offense to you, though; you’re cool.)

      • BigCSouthside

        Hey I didn’t say they were my friends. I hunt and fish and shoot with Libs lol, we just run in the same circles with the Red Hat MAGA assholes

        • SCK

          Fuck those MAGA hat wearing fucktards. Where’s Cheney when we need him?

      • Opalescent Riddles

        Public land is cool and all as long as they can play on it for free. Post it as “no hunting” and they’d flip their shit.

    • I will take you up on that bet and win it, seeing as I work with quite a few red state camo wearing NASCAR loving conservative mother fuckers who say fuck the earth, we should get to do whatever we want where-ever we want to do it.

      • BigCSouthside

        I always found it odd those same people can be like “climate change is a bullshit lib conspiracy” and then say “man they shouldn’t be mining where I like to fish”

        • Opalescent Riddles

          Because if it does not affect them PERSONALLY, it does not exist.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        Their god will just fix it for them if they believe hard enough.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Simultaneously expecting pristine lakes and forests, at whatever national park campground they park their RV in.

  • Shibusa
  • Mavenmaven

    Why shouldn’t the Rich own all the beaches and parks? Be grateful they give you underpaid jobs and don’t put you in debtors prison!

  • Panika MCD

    if the bullshit I had to sit through this morning in TX Sen. High Ed. is any indication: even Republicans can see that these types of things bring in more money as intact nature preserves than they ever would strip mining.

    you can watch the video if you dare, but the gist is:

    Texas A&M asked for clarity in what they could do with W. G. Jones State Forest near Conroe. the deed of land from the family that donated it says that it’s owned by the state for Texas A&M purposes, see?

    Creighton filed a bill which would allow them to build a facility near their Lone Star satellite campus.

    the people in Conroe proceed to FREAK THE FUCK OUT! (a lot of it having to do with drainage and tourist monies from those nice Audubon people with too many pockets.)

    Creighton changes the bill to say, “on second thought: no you can’t develop the land because it turns out that people like it just the way it is!” which serves the same intent of answering A&M’s question.

    the people of Conroe continue to FREAK THE FUCK OUT! all over the hearing because they don’t understand that legislation isn’t forever, the reason all that other stuff come after “forest” is statutorily required to do what they want it to do, and it doesn’t have to talk about the Endangered Species Act because that exists regardless (except maybe it doesn’t and maybe they should protect the red-cockaded woodpecker in the bill because Tsarina Von Clownstick is POTUS). they also think that a week is too short a notice for a hearing–funny, this could have been referred to IGR where they would have gotten less than 24 hours notice.

    Creighton went on several arglebargle tangents about how the legislative process works both before and after the witnesses, but he was splainering to the committee and not the witnesses. I think his mouth just doesn’t work well before noon, which kind of sucks because my brain doesn’t want to translate such things before noon.

    so, basically, the legislators are going to get yelled at by constituents they know and like this time. I’d have a hard time believing they’d end up doing away with any of these given the number of times I’ve heard arias about the beauty of Palo Duro Canyon.

    video (works best on Explorer with the Silverlight plug in…doesn’t make sense, but this is the same system the US Senate is now using for SOMEONE IS BEING GRIFTY but I don’t know who): http://tlcsenate.granicus.com/MediaPlayer.php?view_id=42&clip_id=12307

    red-cockaded woodpecker (I don’t need dick jokes with a name like that):
    https://tfsweb.tamu.edu/uploadedImages/TFS_Main/Learn_and_Explore/State_Forests_and_Arboretums/State_Forests/image2%20-s2.jpeg

  • btwbfdimho
    • The Flaming Carrot

      Which one is the Dementor, or is it both of them?

  • SnarkON

    Let’s pave paradise and put up a parking lot.

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    I had to check out why Bear Ears NM is so controversial. I cannot figure out why it is other than the Black Guy. There will still be oil and gas exploration, stock grazing, …

    There is nothing there of of much value to develop the region beyond tourism.

    I might go there this summer and check it out.

  • diogenez

    Land grab? LAND GRAB???? Does President Fuckface understand that Bears Ears was requested by area tribes to protect land that was GRABBED FROM THEM???

    FFS

  • Panika MCD

    if the bullshit I had to sit through this morning in TX Sen. High Ed. is any indication: even Republicans can see that these types of things bring in more money as intact nature preserves than they ever would strip mining.

    you can watch the video if you dare, but the gist is:

    Texas A&M asked for clarity in what they could do with W. G. Jones State Forest near Conroe. the deed of land from the family that donated it says that it’s owned by the state for Texas A&M purposes, see?

    Creighton filed a bill which would allow them to build a facility near their Lone Star satellite campus.

    the people in Conroe proceed to FREAK THE FUCK OUT! (a lot of it having to do with drainage and tourist monies from those nice Audubon people with too many pockets.)

    Creighton changes the bill to say, “on second thought: no you can’t develop the land because it turns out that people like it just the way it is!” which serves the same intent of answering A&M’s question.

    the people of Conroe continue to FREAK THE FUCK OUT! all over the hearing because they don’t understand that legislation isn’t forever, the reason all that other stuff come after “forest” is statutorily required to do what they want it to do, and it doesn’t have to talk about the Endangered Species Act because that exists regardless (except maybe it doesn’t and maybe they should protect the red-cockaded woodpecker in the bill because Tsarina Von Clownstick is POTUS). they also think that a week is too short a notice for a hearing–funny, this could have been referred to IGR where they would have gotten less than 24 hours notice.

    Creighton went on several arglebargle tangents about how the legislative process works both before and after the witnesses, but he was splainering to the committee and not the witnesses. I think his mouth just doesn’t work well before noon, which kind of sucks because my brain doesn’t want to translate such things before noon.

    so, basically, the legislators are going to get yelled at by constituents they know and like this time. I’d have a hard time believing they’d end up doing away with any of these given the number of times I’ve heard arias about the beauty of Palo Duro Canyon.

    video (works best on Explorer with the Silverlight plug in…doesn’t make sense, but this is the same system the US Senate is now using for SOMEONE IS BEING GRIFTY but I don’t know who): http://tlcsenate.granicus.com/MediaPlayer.php?view_id=42&clip_id=12307

    red-cockaded woodpecker (I don’t need dick jokes with a name like that):
    https://tfsweb.tamu.edu/uploadedImages/TFS_Main/Learn_and_Explore/State_Forests_and_Arboretums/State_Forests/image2%20-s2.jpeg

    • Beanz&Berryz

      They shoulda named it the red-rosetted wood pecker if they didn’t want everyone forever to have to ask for no dick jokes when they refer to that little pecker.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I don’t see no red cockade – must be a female.

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    I predict Zinke will do nothing and just wait until something shiny distracts Trump and he forgets all about the request.

    • Sister the Resister

      That does seem to part of the operating procedure in this administration

  • Mormos

    to repeal the antiquities act would be monstrous. its the law against grave robbing for christ-sakes

  • Browncoat Krieger IRL

    The outdoorsy-type people of whom I count myself are already rallying against these actions. We won’t stand for some Day-Glo pussgrabber sliming all over our wilderness.

    • Jukesgrrl

      I have to think that even some of his base might appreciate national parks and monuments.

  • Tony Prost

    REpublicans love destroying things.

  • Duke

    These interfere with making money off government property by people who happen to live nearby. Horrendous.

  • SCK

    It’s as if they fucking assholes just want to call them a bunch of fucking assholes to their faces. Fucking assholes.

  • Jukesgrrl

    He doesn’t have time to fill necessary job openings, but he has time to destroy things.

  • Scooby

    National Monuments is what I call Ivanka’s boobs.

    • SeeTrain65

      So does her father.

  • Jukesgrrl

    There’s a 40,000-acre fire currently burning in the Santa Rita Mountains, Pima County, Arizona (southeast of Tucson). How was it started? By a man target-shooting on state land … using exploding targets. It’s been exceptionally dry in Southern AZ this spring and all public lands are posted with wildfire hazard warnings. The fire has doubled in size from Tuesday to Wednesday and currently at least 300 firefighters are on site. People living in homes outside the protected land are under a pre-evacuation warning. It’s an early time of year for such a bad fire. To his credit, the perpetrator did call his fire in immediately and turned himself in to sheriffs. But the thing is truly out of control at this point. Photos from yesterday:
    http://tucson.com/news/local/photos-of-sawmill-fire-south-of-tucson/collection_2f85f920-2938-11e7-a3c4-6f0d93449130.html

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      When deciding who gets a gun, the applicant being stupid is the very last thing that will ever matter.

  • shivaskeeper

    The tourism industry is going to be the big hope here. I am a fairly avid outdoors man and Mrs Keeper is an avid outdoors woman. The thing with outdoors folks is there is a fairly large subset that think their particular activity is the only thing that should be protected. Most of them will not work with another group to get equal access to anything. They will go out of their way to poison any common use if it puts any limit at all on what they, personally, can do. A good analogue would be the hard core Bernie Bros and Steinbots who will not compromise with people who share 90% of their views because they don’t share 100% of their views.

    There is also a smaller, louder, and much more destructive subset that look at the outdoors as nothing more than their personal property to tear up any way they please and fuck everyone who might want to come out after them. Think of the Bundy Dildo Militia ATV ride through protected land. They are not going to work with anyone at all, ever.

    Tourist dollars are going to be the only thing that might cause the various Senators and Representatives to take notice. But the tourist dollars will have to be worth more than the corporate interests.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Tourist dollars – most especially in wilderness areas – do not accrue to large corporations. The GOP won’t give a shit about it.

      • shivaskeeper

        The states will. States do not like it when anyone fucks with their revenue like that. The GOP as a whole won’t care, but the individual reps from each state will. If they can’t reach a consensus, they can’t screw everyone else over.

        The end result would be the same thing as them actually trying to do the right thing. It won’t be an easy fight to be sure.

  • Beawild

    I hate this vile and disgusting old man!!!!!! I have disliked other presidents, but I have never despised one as much as I despise Trump. He’s a malignant narcissist, petty, vindictive and with a mean streak. He’s also supremely ignorant, ill informed and arrogant. He’s the least qualified and most unfit person ever to be elected president. How is the nation going to survive four years of this administration?

  • akryan

    what might get this turned back is the blood lover republicans. if they try to take away hunting grounds or convienent places for militia loons to play GI Joe, they’ll face a lot of opposition.

  • nightmoth

    Every day brings a new difference between the Obama and Trump administrations. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6cef6ceb33e38d868331e9a1b369092d32060317bebe2a9f2657418edbb936a9.jpg

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