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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

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  • Michael R
    • From Russia with Love

      Naw, keep the shit sandwich, kid, you’ll be eating it soon enough.

  • Nounverb911
    • schmannity

      Russian coffee for that slow drip goodness.

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Anna Elizabeth

    Why’d those Losing Losers put up statutes to Losers anyway? F’ you, Confederacy,

    Signed,

    Yankee Rose Anna

  • Nounverb911

    Donald trump’s plan to destroy ISIS has finally been revealed:

    https://twitter.com/robenfarzad/status/856695563986898944

    • FlemmishSpy

      Boring!

      • calliecallie

        ISIS hogging the headlines again.

        • FlemmishSpy

          It’s one of their pork projects.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Looks like Karma has an excellent sense of humor.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        No shit — poetic justice

    • From Russia with Love

      What were they trying to do with Mr Fury Pig that got him so riled up?

      • FlemmishSpy

        Their morale goat wandered off.

    • Michael R

      WILD BOAR 2020

    • If you don’t eat pig, pig kill you

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I hope the boars don’t get sick from contact with Daesh scum.

    • coozledad

      The PKK says YOU AIN’T SEEN NUTHIN’ YET!
      https://rurritable.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/dsc01847.jpg

      • Contemplative Ron

        ‘Okay, where’s the “start” button on this thing?’

    • PubOption

      Donnie would only be involved if a wild boor attacked.

    • therblig

      that ain’t kosher

    • Querolous

      Not a halal of a good way to go!

  • geoffalnutt

    Trump wants to send people to Mars – all the people. That way he could have his very own planet.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      If we sent him to Mars instead, he could still have his own planet. It’s a much more practical solution.

      • MynameisBlarney

        But wouldn’t that pretty much ruin the planet for terraforming?

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          I’m willing to make that sacrifice. But if it means that much to you, Neptune or Uranus is a destination option for him too.

          • Contemplative Ron

            Send him to Pluto. It will make him look larger, relatively speaking.

          • janecita

            Why not the sun?

          • Contemplative Ron

            And risk putting it out?

        • Stulexington

          Naw, just add some fertilizer from all the bullshit he spews.

  • Nounverb911
  • azeyote

    about those coal jobs – it seems one of the largest coal strip mines in Kentucky is going to put in a huge solar array on top of their mine, creating energy and jobs for people who don’t want to get black lung or further destroy their back yard –

    • Contemplative Ron

      That’s actually a really clever idea, since otherwise they’re just scars on the landscape that nothing will ever grown on again.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I wonder if the local dimwits will whine about that too.

      • Contemplative Ron

        If they refuse to be retrained and the company has to bring in workers? You bet they’ll whine.

  • calliecallie

    Hmm. Justin Trudeau’s wood…I’ll be in my bunk.

  • Still fighting w my Trumpster sister in Michigan who is a program manager for a robotics/automation firm. The more she praises Trump, the less I even recognize her…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/987cacc47126dfc9fadbf9845ec7bf037c633d79ec1ac4d442e44d3dff984477.jpg

    • NastyBossetti

      My neighbor stopped me yesterday to say that although he’d told me he was giving Trump 90 days, now he’s giving him a year, even though in those 90 days Trump hasn’t done anything he liked. And he told me to keep an open mind. I told him maybe his mind is a little too open.

      • Contemplative Ron

        It’s so open his brain fell out.

        • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

          Exactly. They’ve all been brainwashed into a state where they cannot see things clearly or think about them rationally.

          Right wing media is toxic. It indoctrinates people into being intellectually shallow, mean, self-destructive, and petty. There are millions of Trump voters who don’t care that he’s failing miserably. They don’t care that he’s not keeping his promises. They don’t care that he’s caving easily on issues they used to care about. They don’t care that he’s digging in his heels on issues where it’s dangerous to do that. They don’t care that they’ll lose their jobs, healthcare, food stamps, and maybe even their lives.

          All they care about is that they made the ‘liberal snowflakes’ in NYC, LA, and Chicago cry by voting for him and making him win. They don’t really believe things will ever get better anyway so it’s good enough for them to make the people they hate for being uppity and looking down on them miserable. That’s all this is about for anyone who isn’t filthy stinking rich and looking for a massive tax cut.

  • Nounverb911

    Ooh, look progress. How’d that happen?
    https://twitter.com/frankthorp/status/856847138633994240

    • From Russia with Love

      I’ll bet Trump’s got some sweaty boxers right about now.

      • folderol

        He’s hoping the Russians take care of the “Yates situation”. In exchange for Alaska.

    • cmd resistor

      FINALLY a bit of news that doesn’t make me want to scream.

      • Today’s a ‘call your senators about trump and russia’ day.

        Never hurts.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    That little squeek when the Langur gets his bottle is adorbs!

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    So instead of coming down on the service industry for not 1) paying a living wage and 2)providing meaningful benefits, all service workers should just go get another job? Dude, you might want to reconsider eating out, because every waiter in DC is going to be spitting in your food.

    • Contemplative Ron

      If he’s lucky it’ll JUST be spit.

    • Bruh, my dad owns a dealership.

  • dslindc
  • Nounverb911
  • calliecallie

    They burped that little monkey just like a real baby. Awwww. Squeee!

    • Shanzgood

      Reminded me of burping my daughter. I tried her with the way I did my son, over the shoulder, but that didn’t work. I accidentally discovered the best way with her was to pick her up under her armpits and squeeze.

      • Contemplative Ron

        Works with adults too.

        • Shanzgood

          I’ll remember that if I ever need to burp an adult.

  • ManchuCandidate

    He’s a lumber jerk and he’s not okay.
    He raises tariffs and golfs all day.

    The one thing about raising tariffs on Canada City soft wood is that it slows down US America erections er construction.

    • Contemplative Ron

      And raises prices. Win-win!

    • coozledad

      Canada handed us our asses the last time we fought them, and they’ll do it again. You can’t build all those ugly ass white trash mansions without OSB and plywood.

  • Nounverb911
    • Anna Elizabeth

      Ya Burnt, Kunt! XD

    • FlemmishSpy

      Fluffer.

    • vivian

      “Um… I was told there would be no questions…”

    • wait! what?

      Well Eric, Don-Don Jr. and Barron don’t know dick. And I can tell you, after spending several late nights with my pops, I know dick.

    • NastyBossetti

      Her role should be to live her own damn life and maybe show up from time to time, like to sit in a box at the state of the union and be photographed, but that’s about it.

  • coozledad

    The only foreign country Trump will be able to visit is Alabama.

  • Chadwells

    Fun fact about this fucking Sonny Perdue jerkoff who is now our SECRETARY OF AGRICULTURE!!!!

    “On November 13, 2007, while Georgia suffered from one of the worst droughts in several decades, Perdue led a group of several hundred people in a prayer on the steps of the state Capitol. Perdue addressed the crowd, saying “We’ve come together here simply for one reason and one reason only: To very reverently and respectfully pray up a storm” and “God, we need you; we need rain”.”

    So rest easy farmers of America…whenever you need rain, just PRAY you filthy heathens!!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/505a1f78d82e40ddc3aa2c9634371fee97d5a9a719a931cf052e1f699b413e41.gif

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    His signature issue –the Tortilla Curtain* — is going nowhere. Who could have predicted? He and his knuckledragging supporters should be mocked at every turn or every minute of every day or every week …. Anyone with an IQ higher that a turnip know this was a racist bullhorn and would NEVER be realized.

    *Dominic Gwinn, April 24, 2017

  • Nounverb911
    • Wild Cat

      Corey Stewart should have a bushel of lingoberries stuck up his white azz.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Not only do your Confederate Monuments not matter, you Confederate Lovers don’t matter, you Asshat.

      ~Yankee Rose Anna

      • Lori

        Actually the monuments do matter. They matter in a bad way, which is way they needed to come down.

        I guess the 140 character limit made it too difficult for Stewart to more accurately whine about racist, murdering “heroes” no longer being lauded.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Indeed, and well said.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Typing from NOLA. The monuments do matter. They should be reerected in a museum of racism with the proper context carefully and unequivocally described. We should never forget just how horrible the human race can be. If we don’t learn history something something repeat it.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          People, I am respondin g in context to the idiot Rdeneck’s Tweet. *Any* further lectures to me will be. Blocked. KTHXBAI

    • The Witch of Endor

      So….Stewart’s a true Yankee Carpetbagger. Hmm, something something something.

      • zerosumgame0005

        um, no? Carpetbaggers were the (at the time, it has all changed today) ones who came to the South during Reconstruction, mostly Republicans then. They brought their stuff in “carpetbags” and were ever so mean to the treasonous scum who lost the war so they also lost all the sweet sweet slavery they had come to love so much… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/317201f59fa83d385be1e31e29a46a6385c9a5001fe97295048fc8db41b2a196.jpg

        • The Witch of Endor

          I’m actually aware of the history of Carpetbaggers, which is why I likened Stewart to one as he’s originally from the north, republican(ish), and is an all around dick. Carpetbaggers did indeed act mean to the treasonous people of the south, but they also were just fine with fucking over newly freed slaves or each other. So I’m good with my original non-comment.

        • Yr. Gma

          I like that bag.

    • janecita

      Carpetbagger said what?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      152 years. We should’ve either let them secede or hung every one of them as traitors after kicking their asses.

      • Contemplative Ron

        This is what happens when you’re magnanimous towards an enemy. The British kindly let Quebec keep on being Quebec after defeating the French in 1759, and we’ve been paying for it ever since.

        • You sound like my mom. (English Montreal-er)

          • Contemplative Ron

            I began as one, so no wonder.

      • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

        We couldn’t let them secede because they had four million hostages who were being treated worse than cattle. But I agree that Lincoln’s determination to “heal the wounds of division” by not punishing the traitors allowed the toxic Confederate culture to remain and eventually spread was a huge mistake. Always cut off the head of the snake.

        We didn’t stop fighting WWII in Europe until Hitler was dead the Nazis surrendered.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Then we tried the worst of them at Nuremberg (or gave them jobs in the space program). Lincoln did what seemed to be the right thing…buy yeah, it has come back to haunt us.

    • Virginia, my dear, you have one job to do, and that is to hand Cor-cor his ass in a humiliating and total defeat.
      If you make NOVA bail you out again because stupid, I will ridicule you mercilessly.

  • janecita

    That Langur monkey baby, is cuter than any human baby I’ve ever seen, including mine!

    • Wild Cat

      They’re ashamed to be related to humans.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Animals have access to a purer form of cute – unalloyed by human expectations, comparisons or irritation. Human babies & toddlers can have flashes of it, but sooner or later you look at them and think something like “is she about to cry?” or “I wonder, is that normal for this age?”

  • Contemplative Ron

    I’m assuming the hard-on Donnie’s developed for fucking us over Up Here has to do with Our Justin beating him at the handshake game.

    • janecita
      • Lance Thrustwell

        She totally wants to bang ‘im.

        • In all fairness…who doesn’t?

          • janecita

            Exactly!

          • The only thing preventing me from going there and declaring my undying love and adoration of JT is the stupid mounties who told me to quit that already and start acting my age and show a little dignity and respect.
            :/
            Stupid mounties.

          • janecita

            In all fairness, they have caught you five times already! It is getting a little ridiculous.

          • hey that one time doesn’t count! I was there on legit business reasons that just so happened to be right across the street….

        • Red Bird Ω

          What about Jared?

        • Who doesn’t?

  • grindstone

    Hey, Good_Gawd_Yall — just checking in. How you doing these days, chica?

  • Nounverb911
    • I knew I forgot something this morning.

      • Nounverb911

        So many scandals so little time…

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I’m sure the crack investigative team at the Senate will get right on it.

      • Bill D. Burger

        If allowed they would, just in order to ignore completely the same problem here…..not that they aren’t trying to ignore it here anyway.

      • Call your senators today. Seems to be in the zeitgeist.

        I call everybody everyday and I’m in blue blue blue district.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Trump doesn’t understand how things work, pt. infinity: If he really goes ahead and cuts off cost-sharing reduction payments to insurers, insurers will raise premiums to make up the difference. The government will end up paying for those premium increases via subsidies to the insured, costing the government an extra $2.3 billion dollars. You begin to see how the man could fail in the casino business and underperform a savings account.
    http://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/4/25/15409268/trump-obamacare-cost-sharing-subsidies-costs

  • Chadwells

    That monkey is weapons grade CUTE!!!!!

    • Mpeg

      Its digs look pretty comfy too, no? I could totally hang out there.

    • Don’t you always envy the zoo folks who get to handle them?

      • Chadwells

        Yes!!!!!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Persistent Demme

      Couldn’t happen to a nicer crowd.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Lance Thrustwell

      Because when they get all that extra money they’ll embiggen their biznesses, and then they’ll give me a jerb! Yayy!! That’s how it works, doncha know? Every time! widout fail! fapfapfap sorry, Republibating…

    • Blackest Noobs

      isn’t funny they did this to the absolute degree (i.e. the trickle down failed experiment in Kansas) but yet still put up the blinders on when it all goes to fucking hell.

      point of example…Kansas thought doing this, giving the wealthy HUGE tax breaks would do such wonders for the state they were gonna have these quarterly reports about HOW FUCKING AWESOME IT WAS.

      turns out..it’s not that fucking awesome, and they stopped producing the quarterly reports after the goddamn first one.

      fucking white people and fucking republicans, assholes through and through.
      may there be a unspecial place in hell, if it exist, for you.

  • Me The People

    Includes Bernie Sanders telling those of us who don’t want to hear Anne Coulter screaming at us from every possible location that we are just afraid of “her ideas”.

    https://newrepublic.com/article/142218/colleges-right-reject-hateful-speakers-like-ann-coulter

    • We are not afraid of their ideas.
      We have heard their ideas a million times before. They are gross, bad and stupid ideas that have been thoroughly beaten to hell about 1945 or so.
      They lost, they should get over that.

      • Me The People

        Exactly. But no, lets push the overton window over to the place where we have to pretend this is a matter of debate, says Bernie. I did say he would start aggressively defending the opposition – didn’t really realise he’d start with Anne Coulter.

        • He is trying to appear reasonable and whatever else. Sort of like GG with all his Russian slobbering and the bros and their McCarthiisms!!!! cries.
          Stupid fucking useful idiots.

          • Me The People

            You’re going to see much more of his sort of thing from him. He’s chasing the Trump voters – and in so doing, fucking everyone else off. It’s a conscious strategy, a very stupid one too.

          • I know :/ I am not that pleased at all.
            Looks like dark times indeed when the self proclaimed progressives embrace identical regressive tactics such as the “all opinions are valid even if they are not based in fact” schtick.

          • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

            Honestly, Bernie’s a shit-stirrer. That’s all he’s ever been and all he’ll ever be. The notion that he’s some progressive savior is an ignorant delusion, one that was sold hard via the same Russian propaganda that pushed Stein.

    • HazooToo

      Her “ideas” are not new. Not unheard of. And not acceptable in society. They are not intelligent. And they should not be given any respect in a public forum. They are racist and hateful. They inspire violence and hatred in the people who accept them. What part of that should be treated like a rational opinion, Sanders?

      • Red Bird Ω

        It’s funny how the same people who complain about “forced” diversity and multiculturalism use the need for diverse opinions as their defense.

      • Thaumaturgist

        Maybe her ideas aren’t knew. She has lots of new facts.

        • HazooToo

          Alt-facts?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “Confront her intellectually”. Last time she came to Tucson, she got a cream pie in the face. I thought that was pretty much exactly the level of intellectual confrontation Coulter deserves.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        We’ve all seen people try to ‘confront her intellectually’ on Maher or elesewhere. It’s a maddening exercise in futility – she just changes the subject and adds in an insult or racist comment, and the crowd goes “ooh!” and it appears like she’s scored a point. Milo does the exact same thing.

        (I’m sure you recognize this, APID, just venting.)

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          You’re exactly right. She’s a hate monger and a provocateur, not an intellectual opponent. You don’t fucking “debate” people like this. It’s a game these assholes play to supposedly unmask the “hypocrisy of the left” in matters of free speech. Right. Have a Panther start talking black revolution in a crowd of these white peckerwoods, and getting run up a poplar tree would only be the start of what happened to them.

      • HazooToo

        Reading that again, “Confront her intellectually” implies a challenge that there is no intellectual argument against her ideas, and that it’s all hurt fee-fees. I am unbelievably ashamed that I ever supported him.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Yeah, he really needs to STFU. He’s becoming more bombastic and less credible by the minute.

      • PubOption

        I hope the ‘cream’ was edible. Food in her mouth would probably upset her more than the mess on her face.

    • Randy Riddle

      I’m all for Anne Coulter getting to speak in public if she has the opportunity to get punched in the face like any other bigot or Nazi.

      Free speech has consequences.

    • Red Bird Ω

      Bernie can shut up now. I think it’s pretty obvious that he only ran to mess with Hillary’s chances to become president. He had no intention of getting elected. Just wanted to throw a wrench in the system.

      • Me The People

        Meanwhile Bernie’s pal Cornel West (who refers to him as “brother Bernie”) is fantasizing in the Guardian about the destruction of the Democratic party

        https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/apr/24/democrats-delivered-one-thing-100-days-disappointment

        • Red Bird Ω

          Well that was the point of the whole charade wasn’t it? Has anyone noticed that Brother Bernie said publically that he isn’t a Democrat? He’s so quick to drop the label when he didn’t need it. He should have been forced to run as an independent so all of those Bernie Bros who defected to Trump’s side could have eroded his votes.

          • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

            No one should ever be allowed to run for President as a member of a party unless they are an actual member in good standing of said party. That requirement alone would’ve weeded out both Sanders and Trump.

    • ltmcdies

      right Bernie…reproductive choice is negotiable but Coulter spew is sacrosanct … go it.

      yes yes I know America has a First Amendment but Coulter is perfectly capable of defending herself and it’s not like she gets arrested for her views.

      • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

        Coulter has every right so speak, nobody’s denying her that. But she has no right to expect to be given official platforms from which to speak.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Because, dog knows, we really need to listen to what Anne Coulter has to say….

    • Persistent Demme

      Keep fuckin’ that chicken, Bernie.

    • lroom

      As I will continue to say he can fuck right off.

  • Nounverb911
    • snigsy

      Is he going to Mars?

    • er…or…socially awks and or on the spectrum or a million other things, Oxford. Da Fuq?

    • NastyBossetti

      Sure. Students who avoid walking to class could be guilty of racism. Students who avoid studying in the library could be guilty of racism. Anybody’s weird social tics could mean they’re guilty of racism, I guess? Or they could be the result of run of the mill social anxiety.

      • HazooToo

        He didn’t even include a link to the article. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/2017/04/22/students-avoid-making-eye-contact-could-guiltyof-racism-oxford/

        NOW we can discuss properly. Does anyone even remember the last time they made eye contact with someone? Either it happens or it doesn’t.

        • NastyBossetti

          I actively avoid making eye contact because I am painfully shy and afraid of people.
          And I think when you’re at university, asking people where they’re from is kind of natural small talk, because people come from all over to go to school.
          I appreciate that they’re trying to make people more aware, but I’m not sure they hit the mark.

          • HazooToo

            They totally missed. I don’t make eye contact, because I don’t want to speak to ANYone.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Yeah. What do you call it when you have an irrational dislike of other people, not just people of color, but, you know, every-fucking-body? Misanthrope?

        • NastyBossetti

          I just call that life.

    • bupkus231

      Aw, geez – Another molehill for the right to make into a mountain.

      The Telegraph piece clearly trumps up ( no pun intended ) something from a quarterly newsletter of the Oxford “Equality and Diversity Unit” ( whatever that is ) into something more than some idiot’s opinion.

      Of course, the right-wing blogosphere is all over this. Have some sense of perspective, people – it’s like if I were to violate the Riles for Non-commenting Radicals here, and someone tried to turn iit into a national ( or international ) scandal.

      Best to just ignore it ( both the original newletter bit and the right’s attempt to turn it into something…

      • Anna Elizabeth

        The only part I care about is this Asshole’s Butthurt. PJ Watson is a worthless waste-of-skin Conspiritard.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      KTHXBAI, Fuckwit Watson. Get your parole from this Prison, Dickshit.

    • Thaumaturgist

      Tell them to smile when they make eye contact.

  • Chadwells

    Nothing gets your day started better than seeing LAPD kill someone live in TV in the morning!!!

    Popular opinion or not…I really hate the police.

    • janecita

      I do too.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I really hate the politicians who have armor-clad the blue wall so cops who just want to do their jobs can’t get rid of, and frequently work for, the sociopaths.

      • Chadwells

        I completely agree. They aren’t all bad…sadly, in my estimation, about 80% are bad. Sucks for the good ones.

        • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

          The really bad part is that the good ones have to work with the bad ones, frequently under their command. They see the bad ones get away with everything and, eventually, a portion of the goods become bad too simply because they’re immersed in a culture where it’s not only permitted but encouraged. A lot of the bad ones wouldn’t be bad now if their shit hadn’t been tolerated when they were starting out.

          • Chadwells

            Totally! I do have sympathy for the good ones who really want to help and do good!!! We just need to figure out how to tear down that blue wall of silence.

    • HazooToo

      I saw a clip on Fusion this morning of cops holding three black teenage boys at gunpoint, because someone called and said “three black kids walked by with a revolver.” So they pulled up and pointed guns at them and made them like on the ground. None of them had a revolver. All of them were just walking in their own goddamn neighborhood.

      • Chadwells

        I saw it too!!! I heard that the cops were responding to a fight, which is even worse if true…they suck.

    • nightmoth

      Do you have “Back the Blue” signs all over your town? Just curious, because here in rural Georgia, we do. They went up during the election.

      • Chadwells

        Thankfully, I’ve never seen one in LA!! I support good cops….if you can show me one!

        • Yr. Gma

          I know a couple, but they are atypical.

    • ltmcdies

      shit…..what a lousy thing to see first thing…

      • Chadwells

        And worse is that it will be declared a righteous shooting…claiming they feared for their lives. I didn’t see it that way. The suspect had nowhere to go and was trapped in a cul-de-sac. However, the suspect was still in control of the vehicle….so it’s debatable.

        • ltmcdies

          really…declared? This soon? What utter bullshit.

          • Chadwells

            Well not officially…but they like to start covering their asses quick.

    • Yr. Gma

      What did I miss? I suppose it was on all the stations, not just KTLA and Fox?

      • Chadwells

        Chase at 6:30 this morning. Saw it on CBS. Cornered suspect in cul-de-sac….suspect couldn’t go anywhere…but continued to inch car forward…they shot. Passenger escaped, driver not so lucky. I guess it might be justified…but I think it could have been avoided.

        • Old Man Yells at Cloud

          Of course it was justified. The coffee and fresh donuts were going to get cold if the situation didn’t end quickly.

  • snigsy

    I keep wondering how future historians (assuming there is a future) will describe this administration.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Nounverb911
    • Contemplative Ron

      You mean Florida doesn’t count?

      • janecita

        Right? It is, after all, a banana Republic.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          I thought it was a cojera polla Republic….

          • janecita

            Do you mean “Coge la polla?”

      • therblig

        fuck. i always forget to scroll down first.

    • wait! what?

      Bannonburg…

    • Randy Riddle

      Well, keep in mind that Obama had to make an apology tour after eight years of Bush …

    • NastyBossetti

      Yes, but how many countries were harangued and insulted by those presidents in their first 100 days?

    • Red Bird Ω

      That’s because he is afraid of either getting arrested or assassinated.

      • Ducksworthy

        Or both?

    • therblig

      Florida doesn’t count?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      If he can’t have overdone steak w/ketchup and watch FOX News, he ain’t going.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        Don’t forget the chocolate cake and iceberg lettuce wedge salad.

    • ltmcdies

      let’s be honest….does anyone really want this guy showing up in their country, insisting on a carriage rides and mispronouncing the name of whatever city he’s in

    • It’s the possibility of stairs.

  • Mavenmaven

    Another Mars a lago?

    • Contemplative Ron

      Can we strap AF1 onto a couple of leftover Saturn Vs?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        If not, maybe Putin can loan his Bitch a couple of heavy-lift boosters.

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        Sounds like a plan for July 4th.

  • Panika MCD

    TX is investing in renewable energy (we produce the most wind power in the nation already) because we don’t want to get screwed by the Saudis again. we got lucky and only lost 4% of our budget this time which wouldn’t have even happened had we not done a tax cut last session. and IA already is getting over 31% of its energy from wind with an initiative to move to 100% renewables…so while some voters may be skeptical about renewable energy, Red State legislators are embracing it.

    and Houston stole my police chief. that story is part of why.

    • Fartknocker

      TX also has the largest natural gas reserve in the world and most of the formations doesn’t require hydraulic fracturing like Oklahoma.

      I miss Art Acevedo. He wasn’t Stan Knee (who was about the best Chief of Police we ever had) but he didn’t cotton to some of the officers bullshit.

    • Red Bird Ω

      Which is why it is funny to hear people fight so hard for fossil fuels. Even Exxon is working on alternative fuels in the background while drilling the last remaining drops of oil in the world.

      • Internet Hitler

        Disgusting that Trump gang is selling out USA for Russian oil. Same investment in solar and wind could provide free power to the world.

        • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

          Maybe not free. But everyone would settle for affordable and available.

  • Crystalclear12

    This is too depressing, I’m going back to Sims Free play.

    • I’m doing witch research for our summer shakespeare show. I have to say, i haven’t thought much about the world all morning.

  • Blackest Noobs

    Definition of a Misogynist:

    When speaking with Commander Peggy Whitson about her absolutely awesome accomplishment of being the person who has spent the MOST time in outer space, Trump had to make it all about himself stating he wanted to move up NASA time table for a mission to Mars ( NASA estimates a decade from now) during his first or (HA HA no way dude) second term in office.

    DUDE! this moment isn’t about you, you thin-skinned narcissistic fat fuck!

    • Khavrinen

      What? How can that possibly be true when, as far as tRump knows, EVERY moment is about him?

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Trump has fired the first salvo in his trade war with Canada by charging a steep tariff on Justin Trudeau’s wood.

    and who saw that coming.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/367a2bbd19a3950d031d0719734b6d579e3c08296dc59d6b1a1106234e267d93.jpg

  • Nounverb911
    • PubOption

      Is the snowman more accurate than the groundhog?

    • ltmcdies

      is it unusual for snowmen not explode if one sets them on fire?

  • Blackest Noobs

    Brillo O’Reilly is back but in podcast form.
    now i am not sure podcast have advertisers too.
    maybe???

    but wouldn’t Brillo run into the same problem again.
    i.e. no fucking company worth their salt wanting anything to do
    with this shithead.

    though other side note….he didn’t sound like his usual bombastic self.
    he was much more subdued, as if someone punched him in the ball sack.
    SOMEONE OUGHT TO PUNCH HIM IN THE BALL SACK…like 50 or a 1000 times.

    • Internet Hitler

      Free podcasts have ads. BO’s isn’t free, and I ain’t a-payin’ to find out which boner pill co. is sponsoring.

  • Ghenghis McCann

    If the white supremacists are so keen on the New Orleans monuments, why don’t they donate them to Trump as building materials for his wall?

  • Mpeg

    Your lineup’s descriptions are making me laugh more than usual Dominic, I can even dance to some of them, which is making my Tuesday morning welcomely tolerable for having driven through standing water/ ongoing rain to work. By god it was worth it. And now I get to click and read all of these juicy headlines…

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      You are my new hero!…

    • William
    • Opiwan

      Got me right in the feels. Teachers are so awesome I married one. She would BAWL TEARS OF JOY if she got a letter like this, and I’d be doing it right next to her.

    • eyelashviper

      WOW, what a fine testament to you.
      Being able to touch the lives of young people is powerful, and you clearly changed this young man’s life.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Oh, gee whiz, no, it’s not me. I think it’s a man, actually.

        • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

          Thank you for bring along some sunshine on a cloudy day.

        • Like ‘fuflans’ you are condemned to androgyny.

  • nightmoth

    Well, OF COURSE Sonny Perdue is now in the Rump cabinet! He lied to Georgia voters about putting the rebel insignia back on the state flag (which was a GOOD thing, although predicated purely on the Atlanta business community interests, but still a LIE to the redneck suckers who put Perdue in office) and he evaded indictment on a financial scam involving the Port of Savannah, so OF COURSE Rump hired him. (Grumble, mutter, mutter #%&#)

  • William Cook

    I remember the last time the US did this, tariffing our softwood lumber. Beginning of the Iraq Invasion, right after the first time Canadian troops got hit by an American airstrike, and right before Bush called us to ask for more troops.

    But hey. Trump is learning, at his own special pace, that there are consequences for talking shit about places like China. So he needs to feed his ego by picking on the quiet kid sitting next to him and hoping the rest of the class doean’t notice/care.

    • ltmcdies

      that quiet kid is already trading with China….america ain’t Canada’s only softwood market any more.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      This will only have a negative impact on the building industries…no biggy…

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    I am not at all surprised that Donnie wants to slap a steep tariff on Justin’s wood. He’s very concerned about where that wood might end up…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/72b209b4c4eab3f0e8b8b365decca48ca0362d4db1284a6c2e2a94dec4bc613f.jpg

    • Yr. Gma

      Justin’s wood is in no danger of ending up in that. He has principles.

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        Donnie has no clue what “principles” are. So he doesn’t know that.

        • Old Man Yells at Cloud

          Lil’Donnie has one guiding principle, “What’s in it for me?”

  • ltmcdies

    morning, friends…..I see Barry is back
    https://twitter.com/Phucktrump2/status/856772805618159616

  • Opiwan

    I thought Janney’s character was C.J. Cregg on WW, but what do I know. Everyone loves pedantics!

    • phoenix00

      We all know how awful Sean Spicer is at imitating Melissa McCarthy at this point.

  • Bill Slider

    I don’t think this tarriff on timber is a new
    idea. At least one former Republican president slapped a tariff on soft wood from Canada, which is used for framing in the building of new houses. The housing industry was furious before and I doubt if they changed their minds. Without the tariff, I assume Canadian timber is cheaper than softwood from our Southern States for home construction framing in our northern tier states. Shipping costs are real. They also add to the cost of buying a new home. The effect of the tariff will be to raise housing prices on new homes in the northern portions of the U.S. it’s a bad idea and a no-brainer. Which means it’s a great Republican policy. Hire American buy American sometimes is not a good idea. Trump can add that to his successes of the first 100 days, but there’s no success for the consumer, particularly the middle class. No snark here.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Hey, give Trump credit on the Holocaust. This time he remembered to mention Jews.

  • eyelashviper

    Ivanka not getting quite the Princess Reception she anticipated in Germany…booing and hissing when she blathered on about her Dear Daddy being an advocate for women and families.
    The whole family is a disgrace, and the booing and hissing needs to resound around the planet, until it becomes a tsunami that sweeps them from the WH.

    • Internet Hitler

      Germany hates Trump even more than most other countries.

      • Querolous

        Großvater Drumpf was booted out for being a draft dodger. Der Apfel fällt nicht weit vom Baum

      • The Wanderer

        (blinks) Sorry to go all grammar maven on you, but shouldn’t there be “hate Trump” after the word “countries?”

        Asking for a friend.

        • Yr. Gma

          “Do” would work. But I can see how Germany would hate Trump more than any other thing on earth including countries and sharp sticks in the eye.

        • Internet Hitler

          Can’t have enough of the words “hate Trump” together.

  • Internet Hitler

    Theory: Trump is spending so much time in Florida and milking his properties there while he can, realizing his policies will sink the whole state.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      He’s not worried about that. Once the feculent Mal-de-Mar-lego goes under water, the taxpayers will reimburse him for his loss.

  • The Wanderer

    I found myself in the throes of a ragegasm this morning after hearing about Trump blathering at Commander Whitson about going to Mars. If Lord Dampnut and the fucking GOP wouldn’t keep slashing the NASA budget, we might actually have a chance of doing something like that.
    As it is, the first flags we see on Mars may end up being the Indian and Chinese banners.

    • Greyhame

      So of course, they want it done quickly, and for not a lot of money.

  • andyshelt

    A week before the US election David Sedaris wrote about undecided American voters, and he compared them to passengers on a plane being presented with their meal options:

    “‘Can I interest you in the chicken?’ [the flight attendant] asks. ‘Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?’ To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.”

    http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2008/10/27/undecided

  • Querolous

    OT. Ella would have been 100 today. Right now we could use some blue skies.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epRXoS_P0lk

  • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre
  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Josh Marshall:

    When we last left our story, President Donald Trump was involved in a long twilight struggle to find his way out of a paper bag.— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) April 25, 2017

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    Ivanka Trump booed at a women’s conference in Germany
    Good times, good times.
    https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/04/25/ivanka-trump-meets-germany-angela-merkel/100873112/

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    White House aides purposefully lie, for shits and giggles
    And President Bannon encourages it.
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/04/its-a-game-to-them-sources-close-to-white-house-say-staffers-do-much-of-their-lying-for-sport/

  • Yr. Gma

    That babby monkey burp. I can’t even.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!
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