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Knock it off with the smiling portrait face, Rick Perry and Robert Bentley
Attention indicted governors everywhere: This is what a mug shot looks like.

The most obvious news about Tim Nolan, a former district judge for Campbell County, Kentucky, and now a member of the Campbell County school board, is that he’s been indicted on charges of human trafficking of a minor, as well as “inducing a minor to engage in sexual activity” and one count of providing alcohol to a minor. The Cincinnati Enquirer notes that the court documents “don’t give much detail about the incident or incidents that led to the charges,” but that the criminal complaint accuses Nolan of inducing a minor into illegal sexual activity in August 2016; the complaint doesn’t mention the minor’s age.

The Enquirer adds that prosecuting Nolan my be procedurally tricky since he was a judge in Campbell County during the 1970s and ’80s, and his daughter, Taunya Nolan Jack, is currently serving as Campbell County Circuit Court Clerk. To avoid conflicts, all court documents are being filed in nearby Boone County and the case is being presided over by a judge from outside of the area.

Nolan is apparently a pretty big deal in northern Kentucky politics: He served as Campbell County chair for Donald Trump’s 2016 campaign (we have no reason to think Trump had any awareness of him, however) and is described by the River City News thusly:

He is an outspoken and controversial figure in local politics. Last year he sued the creator of GOPfacts.org, which took aim at Nolan and others, and specifically referred to Nolan as a vehement racist and posted a photo that purported to be of Nolan in a Ku Klux Klan robe.

So that’s a pretty weird digression: Nolan alleged last June that GOPfacts.org had defamed him by reposting the photo from Nolan’s Facebook page. Nolan’s attorney said the guy in the Klan outfit wasn’t Nolan at all, but actually a friend who thinks it’s hilarious to dress in KKK robes for Halloween because the friend has two black grandchildren “that he loves to death,” which made it all a harmless joke, HA HA. The website’s owners said they had done nothing wrong since Nolan had posted the image to his own Facebook page, with no names attributed, and the caption “Comn (sic) out to the Rabbit Hole [bar] and join the clan.” After the controversy over the KKK photo, Nolan was kicked off the Kentucky Boxing and Wrestling Commission, to which he’d been appointed by Kentucky Governor Matt Bevin.

If there’s been a resolution to the lawsuit against the website, we haven’t seen it in our admittedly limited searching, because we really want to focus on the portion of Nolan’s political career just prior to his arrest: In November, Nolan was elected to the Campbell County School Board, which serves suburban Cincinnati. And what was his platform? You know, the sort of thing a rightwing Republican with no experience in teaching or school administration in his life might propose. Running against an incumbent school board member and former teacher with 27 years in the classroom, Nolan advocated school vouchers and also had this brilliant idea:

Nolan [advocated] eliminating property tax revenue for schools gradually. “We can no longer afford to fund the public schools on the back of the homeowner,” Nolan said.

Naming schools and other “innovative thinking” needs to happen to come up with sources of revenue with the business community, Nolan said.

That’s right. The citizens of suburban Cincinnati elected the man who promised they wouldn’t have to pay for schools anymore, because the good corporate citizens of PepsiCo and Exxon would do it out of the goodness of their wallets.

Or Brawndo. It has what kids crave.

Yr Wonkette relies on donations from readers like you to keep us going. Please click the “Donate” clicky below the story so we can keep bringing you news of Republicans’ innovative ideas for dismantling public education.

[River City News and KSBA via RawStory / Cincinnati.com / Cincinnati.com again]

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  • WotsAllThisThen

    I don’t understand. Where does the pizza parlor fit into all of this? Or am I thinking of the Alex Jones story downthread?

    • puredog

      Everything is connected. Everything. [Insert Illuminati quote; insert Morpheus visual meme.]

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    Child sex trafficking? Does he maybe own a pizza restaurant? It would explain a few things…

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Jinx! Owe me a coke! (they’re served in the pizza parlor basement… go ahead, right down those dark stairs…)

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I’ll ask Podesta when I go to get my Soros check.

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        Could you pick mine up? My car’s in the shop.

        • TundraGrifter

          I can’t pick up my Soros check. It’s too heavy.

      • cmd resistor

        Can you get direct deposit?

  • Msgr_MΩment

    …but that the criminal complaint accuses Nolan of inducing a minor into illegal sexual activity in August 2016.

    Well, no wonder he is opposed to funding schools. Keep ’em ignorant, amirite?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      And to think his property taxes paid for those nosy school counselors. Snitches get budget cuts!

    • Christopher Story

      Probably hates sex-ed in schools as a liberal plot to have sex with all the children

    • puredog

      And out and about, where they are more accessible.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Damn good think Trump is bringing back middle-class manufacturing jobs which don’t involve knowing stuff, or those white kids in suburban Ohio would be well and truly fucked when mom’s basement gets repossessed.

  • BearGHAZI

    Trump comes in, human trafficking of minors comes out. You can’t explain that.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Naming schools and other “innovative thinking” needs to happen to come up with sources of revenue with the business community, Nolan said.

    Cribbing ideas from “The Simpsons” is no way to develop policy.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f0040b203b6d69d7531545ca69572f9b8f19bae6a59f32765a222691e05e736c.jpg

  • Beanz&Berryz

    The safest journanimalistic start these days: “we have no reason to think Trump had any awareness of ____________.”

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      “we have no reason to think Trump had any awareness of what day of the week it was, or that he used the Declaration of Independence as a napkin”

      • Msgr_MΩment

        He seems to be completely unreceptive
        The tests I gave him show no common sense at all
        His eyes react to light the dials detect it
        He hears but cannot answer to your call

    • SterWonk

      The safest journanimalistic start these days: “we have no reason to think Trump had any awareness of ____________.”

      FTFY.

  • Alt-dog

    OT: Andy Borowitz is consistently one of the funniest people in America…

    OBAMA’S BARRAGE OF COMPLETE SENTENCES SEEN AS BRUTAL ATTACK ON TRUMP

    • Ellencconway

      My last paycheck was $22500 for working 12 hours a week online.Start earning $97/hour by working online from your home for few hours each day with GOOGLE… Get regular payments on weekly basis… All you need is a computer, internet connection and a litte free time… Read more here
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  • Vecchioivan

    That picture reminds me of Mary McCarthy’s description of John Erhlichman: a deeply evil face from a medieval fresco.

    • maxneanderthal

      Hieronymus Bosch would be reaching for his sketch pad by now…

      • Msgr_MΩment

        And a couple of rocks of meth.

  • maxneanderthal

    The corruption and moral degeneracy of these wankers is so predictable it’s like reading the weather forecast in the Amazon Jungle. A fetid stew of searing heat and sweaty humidity, repeated until the end of time….

  • Msgr_MΩment

    I was already dating 15-years-olds by the time I was a college guy.

    Ooops. Wrong thread.

    • Vecchioivan

      When I was that age I was already 21.

    • Me not sure

      Maybe not. He may have lured Alex Jones into a relationship while in drag.

  • TundraGrifter

    For decades Louisiana has tried to have public schools without funding them from property taxes. Actually, it hasn’t tried very hard. And it hasn’t worked very well. Particularly for those students who can’t afford private schools.

  • Me not sure

    An upstanding pillar of his community.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      A pillar of assault.

      • Me not sure

        That says a lot.

  • DainBramage

    Let me get this straight. His “friend” thinks it’s funny to dress up as a racist, murdering terrorist, the likes of which is still plaguing our society?

    • Anna Rompage

      I gave a Jihadi jesus doll as a gift at a white elephant party once, that had nipple clamps in one hand, a anal plug in the other, and was wearing a black face mask…

      Now that was some funny shit!

  • Oneofthebobs

    Trouble in River City!

  • jesterpunk

    Nolan’s attorney said the guy in the Klan outfit wasn’t Nolan at all, but actually a friend who
    thinks it’s hilarious to dress in KKK robes for Halloween because the
    friend has two black grandchildren “that he loves to death,” which made
    it all a harmless joke, HA HA.

    http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/58/58e19c20335f297162ad639abfdf0f93ac6a2451c814d25346299270cf6d988b.jpg

  • MynameisBlarney

    He looks like he’s been chasing parked cars.

    • TundraGrifter

      I would just like to say that is a very, very funny comment!

      FTW !!1!!

  • TundraGrifter

    That certainly looks like a mug that’s taken a few shots.

  • Mary Sandoras

    I wonder when the letters of support from republicans will flood the judges chambers.

  • coozledad

    “Cincinatti Gentleman’s Club” is no name for a school, son.

    • TundraGrifter

      Cincy has always been a fairly respectable place. For sin you cross the River to Newport, Kentucky.

  • Mpeg

    Well, the family that grifts together, stays together, sort of.
    And the family that opts to name one of their offspring “Taunya,” surely was under the influence of a well known sci-fi film series at the time.

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      …or got a “D” in spelling.

      • Mpeg

        Sorry I changed my comment! I’m too fickle for my own good~

        • Indivisible Snark Tank

          ‘sa’ight…I just redacted my own!

    • Yr. Gma

      No.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    Handsome devil, isn’t he?

    • shastakoala

      The Bannon look is really popular this year.

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        He appears to have a touch of acne rosacea.

  • Fartknocker

    For so much passion towards limited Gubermint, one does wonder what’s on the agenda the meetings of the KY Boxing & Wrestling Commission and why Tim, a true Patriot, a fan of Ronny Raygun, and apparent perv does at these meetings.

  • cheetojeebus

    Looks like he’s been burrowing into a pile of gravel like a tick.

    • vivian

      Looks like he’s been burrowing into a pile of gravel like a tick.

      FIFY?

  • Vincent Ricola

    C’mon Kentucky, you can’t elect a man who got kicked off the Boxing and Wrestling Commission for being a racist dick to the school board and then be surprised when he is trafficking your children to his creepy GOP (probably) friends for sex (allegedly).

  • proudgrampa
  • The Wanderer

    This guy needs to be strung up by his ankles and beaten like a human pinata with votes.

    • Crystalclear12

      Nobody wants to break open that piñata!

  • cheetojeebus

    Old shriveled apple carvings can look so realistic.

  • Anna Rompage

    Seeing how old and backwards thinking this guy is, I have a very sneaky feeling this isn’t the first time he’s done something like this, and there’s likely a long sting of kids who have ben abused by this sad sack of shit…..

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Well, there is always the first time, however, the first time is rarely the last time.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Screw property tax school funding. The income from turning the cheerleading squad girls into hookers should offset.

    • VirginiaLady

      Debbie does the Derby?

      • don

        Or Darby….

  • Crystalclear12

    Is being a closet pervert a requirement for Republicans?
    ’cause that would explain a lot.

    • GoutMachine

      I just kind of assume they all are.

      • Crystalclear12

        Time saver.

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    When I was young we all drank Rondo: The Thirst Crusher!

    watch them crush that can!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9P1hNs94tG0

  • maxneanderthal

    The resemblance to a certain Mr A Jones, of current and ongoing litigation, is uncanny, doncha think? Have they ever been seen in the same mugshot at the same time? The public demands to know…

  • memzilla Ω

    Tell us more about Campbell County, Wikipedia linky:

    “The racial makeup of the county was 96.64% White, 1.57% Black or African American, 0.17% Native American, 0.54% Asian, 0.01% Pacific Islander, 0.31% from other races, and 0.76% from two or more races. 0.86% of the population were Hispanics or Latinos of any race.”

    [IOW, a place so white that the albedo would blind you from space]

    For those who don’t know, Covington-Newport, Kentucky, just across the Ohio River from Cincinnati — for all the Civil War implications you can readily see — has traditionally been, since the 1830s, where the good burghers of Cincinnati went to do their whoring, drinking, gambling, and moonshine-running so they could return home and proclaim their Christian innocence and better-than-thou-itude in church.

    Old people like me will remember the hue and cry that Robert Mapplethorpe’s exhibition, “The Perfect Moment,” caused the upright citizens of the area, the first and only time that a museum and a director faced criminal obscenity charges. Which were laughed out of court.

    tl;dr: Hypocritical Rethuglican bigots.

    • Jukesgrrl

      So in other words this dumbshit doesn’t even KNOW any people of color. So of course he hates them.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Pretty awesome how Hillary used her hypno-ninja skills to get this guy to take the fall for her.

    • GoutMachine

      She probably used Obama’s time machine, too!

  • cheetojeebus
    • Suttree

      hedgehog! nonm nom nom

    • The Wanderer

      Squee!

  • Suttree

    Does the Campbell county school Board really serve Cincinnati? I lucked the fuck out that my parents decided to move when I was a kid!

  • Hmm… I’m starting to think that the obsession of some conservatives with Pizzagate is based on either wish fulfillment or projection.

    • GoutMachine

      My default: Any time a Republican accuses someone of something, assume said Republican is guilty of it.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        you will never, ever go wrong with that

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I assume it’s fear of competition.

  • Shanzgood

    OT: Guys, I can’t wait for the open thread. I talked to baconz a bit ago and his attorney says there’s a very real chance they’ll let him go home after tomorrow morning’s hearing. With the long list of crazy shit that’s gone on at the Goodwill center, last week’s refusing to let him take the job he was offered is the kicker.

    He went out to see his pshrink today and ran into a former staff member on the way back who had worked there for several years. He was there when Cindy refused him the pass to go sign the paperwork to start the job and said EVERYONE there thought it was fucked up. But then that’s apparently her MO whenever someone is close to getting out, apparently: makes up some new, bogus requirement. Gotta keep that sweet government money rolling in or how else is she gonna afford that new Range Rover on a County clerk’s meager salary?

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Cindy=Lori???

      Yay for Baconz! I hope this goes his way.

      • Shanzgood

        It’s about time something did. I don’t think he can make it another 3 months.

        • memzilla Ω

          As I told him earlier and he acknowledged, remind him to look remorseful and use his body language. He has to look repentant, because judges pick up on non-verbal clues like a vacuum cleaner. All the shit he’s endured has NO BEARING on his case other than the provable denial of a pass for the job interview. Everything else is immaterial and will strike the judge as reponsibility-dodging and blame-shifting if he brings it up at the hearing. He can do something about that AFTER the hearing.

          • Shanzgood

            Ok, I’ll mention it again. Thanks!

          • Shanzgood

            Oh, and the pass that was denied was for actually getting HIRED for the job. They did first try to deny the pass to GO to the interview because it was “too long” but they eventually relented. Then when he got the job offer, they wouldn’t let him take it.

    • memzilla Ω

      Is that a new Land Rover Range Rover? Is this where Lori went after her Google jerb?

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Oh my. I hope Baconz gets out! Poor guy, he’s been writing me about the fucked up shit the staff pulls.

      All fingers crossed for you two!

      • Shanzgood

        Thanks! I’m really trying not to get TOO hopeful but…he really needs to get OUT of there, for his own sanity. And he’s desperate without his kids.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I know, Hun. Let’s all hope, and we’ll cross the bad bridge only if we have to. ~hugs~

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Send him my regards, and here’s hoping he’ll finally be freed.

      • Shanzgood

        Thank you! The place brings out the worst in everyone, staff and residents alike. He was a hair’s breadth from snapping last night.

        • Red Bird Ω

          That’s why they need to reform the system.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Captain Renault must be getting really tired of having his lines repeated on the Intertubes over and over again every time another Donald supporter is revealed to be criminal sleaze.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Sex trafficking and Ku Klux Klan promotion? The TrumpPenceZees sure know how to pick ’em…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0c38ea987c81534676eb574e512735226fa040138f39af4b5e2fc2e07518992b.jpg

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Something something … emails… something something… “economic anxiety”… YUR THE REAL RACISTS!!!1!1!1

      • don

        Would sum up a depressing number of my family’s views. Courtesy of Reagan’s war on education and the destruction of independent media

    • Wasn’t that the plot for one of those BILLY JACK movies?

    • Shoto

      Science Fact.

  • Ezio

    There are racist judges, senators, reps, teachers, cops and studio executives.

    Are people finally understanding the systematic part yet?

    • YoBunnyBunny

      What you talking about, henghhh?? They were just one rotten apple in all those places!!!!!111!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      When women, children and dark skinned people are considered property, some people don’t treat the things they “own” very well

    • Red Bird Ω

      LOL. You think that the presence of racists in positions of authority affects the way minorities are treated. pffffff……fake news!

      • Ezio

        The power of white privilege is the ability to not understand cause and effect, it seems…..

        • Red Bird Ω

          Yes. It’s either blissful ignorance or willful ignorance. But either way, they’re ignorant.

          • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

            But we are all ignorant. The difference is acknowledging that fact.

    • Iam Reading

      You libtards always with the victimization. ….sheesh. /sarc

    • doktorzoom

      Lots of bad apples is all. The barrels are just fine.

  • SomeBigRedDog

    He named his kid Taunya. That’s all you need to know right there.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I do not know that reference.

      • snark-lurker

        ice skater mebbee

      • Thaumaturgist

        KO’d me.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Think Amber, Tiffany, Brittany, Bambi- all names that people gave their kids to be unique, and non traditional- but ended up being so common they’re a cliche. Extra points for funny spelling.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Everyone knows it’s spelled Tawnyuh!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      The souvenir miniature license plate industry has suffered greatly with the fad of xtreme kool spellingz.

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        I just learnt the other day that D’Brickashaw Ferguson was named after Richard Chamberlain’s character in “The Thorn Birds” miniseries from back in my youth. And I understand that “Khaleesi” is now one of the more popular girls names. You never know where people find inspiration!

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    It’s almost like there is one political party attracting more than it’s fair share of Nazi sexual predators…..

  • exinkwretch

    Bravo for the Party of Personal Responsibility! He’s not expecting the gubmint to provide the kiddies he diddles!

  • ariel_gee_398

    So far today we had Donnie’s broken brain, rapists going free cause ladies can’t be trusted, Alex Jones’ sad and gross family tragedy, and now sex trafficking Klan members. What’s the open thread story going to be? Cannibal Nazi toddlers?

    • nightmoth

      Furry ones.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Mohr kittens please.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        But not Nazi kittens!

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          A cat would never be a mindless follower, and in fact cats have been loathed by fascists everywhere.

    • MynameisBlarney

      No, I think it’s going to be gun-toting transvestite car-jacking gangs, or something.

    • jesterpunk

      A space pee article was just posted.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        I have been binge watching “The Expanse”. They actually show space peeing.

    • puredog

      Filipino cannibal Nazi toddlers.

  • nightmoth

    Now THAT’S a mug only a mother could love, and she might be jiving, too.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Up fist for B. B.!

      • nightmoth

        Up fist for your knowing the reference!

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Do none of these lackwits understand that when Pepsi or Exxon pay for naming rights they just pass on the cost by charging more for their product? You’re still paying for that school, idjits, only this way will be less efficient and will end up costing you more, because there’s not a chance in hell Pepsi or Exxon will lower their prices once they finish paying for those naming rights

    SMH

    • YoBunnyBunny

      And then right off the naming rights expenses on their corporate taxes… so we can pick up the tab anyway right???

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        The country is being run by people too stupid to get out of their own way

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Plus the other things that come with it. You think Pepsi’s gonna ante up unless all those rules about vending machines and stuff go away? Or Exxon unless they get the exclusive rights to all the fuel for the busses?

    • jesterpunk

      That is a feature not a bug to republicans.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      And, also, property values are heavily influenced by school districts. Better schools =higher prices. But this is probably one of those places where most of the young people left, or are in rehab, or don’t make enough to buy their own place, anyway.

  • Suttree

    Ok. I woke up and remembered where and when my doctors appointment is tomorrow I cannot find the piece of paper with my physical therapy appointment on it though!..

    • Trip Space-Parasite

      Call them. You are not the first person to lose a scheduling note, they will be perfectly willing to tell you when to show up.

      • Suttree

        I did, and it is in the mail.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    Seems pretty weak to assault children. You would think members of the stronger sex could control themselves a bit better.

    • Suttree

      At least cook them!

  • not_vh

    please tell me mr. nolan, by inception, this is all a bad dream inside a bad dream.

  • Suttree

    I lost my little piece of paper. I don’t know when my PT appt. is!

    • snark-lurker

      you need a safety pin it on your boob

    • not_vh

      not falling for it. PT it is. and you must go.

      • Suttree

        I just called and it is in the mail. I totally forgot. But screw you for nor believing me. :P. hehe.

        • The Librarian

          I’m going to PT and I love it. Always feel better coming out than when I went in. :)

    • Yr. Gma

      Call the office and ask them.

      • Suttree

        I just called and Dolores said that she put it in the mail.

  • ANNG14

    “He is an outspoken and controversial figure in local politics. Last year he sued the creator of GOPfacts.org, which took aim at Nolan and others, and specifically referred to Nolan as a vehement racist and posted a photo that purported to be of Nolan
    in a Ku Klux Klan robe.” (From his Facebook page) ant Trump chairman.
    Now charged with sex trafficking…If true, I hope he dies in prison.

  • The Wanderer

    “KY Wrestling” actually sounds rather kinky.

    • not_vh

      it’s all done aesthetically. its all greco roman.

      • snark-lurker

        they do it in the naked?!

        • not_vh

          not in the biblical sense

    • Spurning Beer

      They use that special Kentucky wrestling jelly, right?

  • JD Mulvey

    The Campbell County School Board has lower standards than the Kentucky Boxin’ an’ Rasslin’ Board.

    • Sophia

      Sad

  • goonemeritus

    This does sound bad but at least he didn’t violate any government e-mail recommendations.

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    A guy comes home from work and sees his girlfriend standing there with her bags packed.

    “I’m leaving you,” she says.

    “But why,” he asks, “everything was just fine this morning.”

    “Because I heard you’re a pedophile.”

    “Now, that’s a very big word for a 10 year old …”

    Yeah, yeah, I’ll show myself out.

    • snark-lurker

      eww

  • ANNG14

    Let’s elect the KKK guy to the school board. Because …He promised us lower taxes.
    Sounds like Trump. Don’t worry about character.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Or basic intelligence.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Why do we even have taxes at all? Let’s completely dissolve all forms of government and leave everything up corporations.

    • Suttree

      Have you watched The Corporation yet?

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      They’re good people, after all. The SCOTUS said so.

    • don

      Worked great in Somalia ! Oh wait

  • Suttree

    Ok, I got my stuff taken care of, my physical therapy referral is in the mail. I should receive it tomorrow or Thursday,

    • Contemplative Ron

      Good.

      • Suttree

        But I am down to one sock again.

        • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

          Do you have an Ace Bandage for the other foot?

  • OrdinaryJoe

    That guy looks like he may be past his expiration date.

    • JD Mulvey

      Viagra has been a godsend to old Republican pervs.

      Devo was right.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Can we all just go ahead and agree that there is something wrong with you if you’re a Republican office holder?

    • Contemplative Ron

      It would certainly save time, and the chances of being wrong seem miniscule.

  • Yr. Gma

    Cincinnati is where our little Fiona lives.

  • Internet Hitler

    Dear Dad,

    Please know that we love you and will always treasure you. You helped me take my first steps, taught me to ride a bike, and you were always there for me.
    But if you ever show up for my kids’ Halloween party in a fucking Klan robe, I will personally tie you to a tree, smash your face with a shovel, and set you on fire.

    Love always,
    Sonny

    • Shanzgood

      That was quite therapeutic.

    • doktorzoom

      You know, I’m obliged to point out that this probably violates the spirit of our commenting rules, but this time out, I’m gonna leave it.

      — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

      • JD Mulvey

        “Smash you with a shovel with votes….” is what he meant to say.

        • Gregory Brown

          A shovel FULL OF VOTES.

          • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

            The best votes.

        • James Yakura

          “Tie you to a tree with a vote rope, smash your face with a shovel made of votes, and set you on fire with burning votes.”

      • Internet Hitler

        with votes!

  • BeanToes

    Do alleged pedophiles typically get to await trail wearing an ankle bracelet?

    • boredcatlady

      He is INDEED wearing ankle bracelet! (Just heard it on the news today)

    • Jukesgrrl

      I read on another website it’s because he was a judge. Apparently they’re afraid if he went to prison he would meet up with someone he put there. Personally, I think that would be justice, but I’m not one of the numbskulls who elected him to these positions where he could do such harm.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Ankle bracelets by Ivanka!

  • mancityRed6

    “We can no longer afford to fund the public schools on the back of the homeowner,” Nolan said.

    I, for one, am glad that as a renter I don’t have to worry about supporting the schools since I don’t pay property taxes.
    Wait, you mean they figure those into my rent, and I do pay? Huh, imagine that.

    • JD Mulvey

      If the property taxes go up, there’s a rent increase.

      But if the tax got cut, no landlords are going to pass any savings along to their tenants.

      Funny how that works.

      • unclejeems

        Proposition 13 much?

    • Lefty Wright

      Yet many Republicans buy into that obviously stupid idea. For some reason, the fact that a landlord will not just forget they have to pay property tax and include it as part of the rent goes right over their head. As do many other ideas that a third grader should be able to figure out.

  • boredcatlady

    …in a few years, perhaps I’ll be dating her…

  • Suttree

    My pizza took 2 hours to be delivered At least the driver said no tip But i did call them and give the shit, because I didn’t get my salad. I called and bitched and found my salad in the fridge.

    I wasn’t at my best and I was woken from a sound sleep.

    • Sophia

      These things happen to all of us. At least you didn’t take it out on the driver

  • Alan

    Seriously? Quicken Loans Elementary School? What is wrong with these people?

  • weejee

    Did Judge Nolan make it beyond the 10th grade? Edjumahcation-wise, not asking about his dating habits.

  • JD Mulvey

    Look at the guy’s photo… What teenager could resist?

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Naming rights are worth real money … for every high school that gets featured for a couple hours a week on national teevee. Nolan knows the ones I’m talking about.
    For some shabby urban school in a poor neighborhood, eh, maybe not so much.

  • What would Travis do?

  • Scooby

    Kicked off the wrestling commission for too many ‘Saturday Night Rides’.

  • Lefty Wright

    This country does not have much longer to survive as a democracy, representative or otherwise. When you have a majority of the population of a school district vote to remove half or more of the funding for public schools, I see little hope for the future. Despite some of the problems in the 1950s and 1960s, including racism, we did not have the total dislike of public education and science. I don’t recall any disputes about teaching evolution, any push for religion classes in schools (I attended schools in North Carolina and Maryland), or any general disrespect for the teaching profession. All of those have come about in the last 30 years thanks to the GOP. So I dispute that the GOP wants to return us to those days. Or at least returning to the part where education and science was considered the key to a better America, not the downfall of the nation as the current GOP claims.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      And another: In primary school social studies it was made clear that the inclusion of different races, religions, languages, ethnicities, customs, nationalities…was what made the USA the strongest and greatest country in the world.

    • tinker12

      Twitler: “I love the poorly educated.”

  • Jukesgrrl

    Do boner pills come with instructions that the person taking them shouldn’t go out in the sun?

  • James Yakura

    Anyone willing to give odds he bought into Pizzagate and thought the investigations meant Hillary must have done Benghazi?

  • Snarkbot 9000

    So you know that time that I’d tell you what irony was? Yeah me neither.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    Has he decided to step down from the school board “to spend more time with his family”? Because that’s pretty much an admission of guilt for a Republican.

    • Mahousu

      He seems more the type to step down because he’s being required to spend less time with his family.

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    Have the police checked the basement of this guy’s pizza place yet?

  • The Librarian

    I read this and the Alex Jones weirdness and I think “this is what real crazy looks like”. I have momentary lapses of reason, but those times I think I’ve lost my mind will never equal this.

    • Isaac Heston

      Thank God!

  • akryan

    Fuck those suburban dwelling assholes. There subdivisions are already subsidized beyond their economic usefulness. The tax revenue gained from their residents doesn’t pay for the utility, police and fire, etc. services they receive for their god given right not to be around black people. On top of that they don’t even want to pay for their schools. Greedy fucking takers.

  • Moar Wordz

    His carbuncle has a carbuncle.

  • 3FingerPete

    And this year’s 9th grade is brought to you by Mentos, the Fresh Maker.

  • thixotropic jerk

    “Kids, in gym class today, remember to smoke at least 10 lemon-lime flavored Marlboro ciggies during laps, 2 per lap, and no dip/chew substitutes except on Mouth Cancer Mondays! That is all!”

  • thixotropic jerk

    Worst Quality Mugshot Evah or scary mashup of Zombie WC Fields meets Sunstroked Red Skelton?

  • NerdWithNoName

    I think it’s cute that Kentucky has a Boxing and Wrestling Commission. When were boxing and wrestling last related in any way? I have heard that amateur wrestling is a real thing but I never see it on TV.

  • SeeTrain65

    I was going to make a point that while this was a Cincinnati suburb, it is in Kentucky.

    But it is Cincinnati. The ones on the Ohio side elected people like Steve Chabot, Brad Wenstrup and Warren Davidson, and in the past such notables as John Boehner and the perpetually insane Jean Schmidt.

    • mardam422

      And butternuts.

  • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

    Is the colour balance off in that photo or is his head actually carved from a giant beet?

    • mardam422

      Shame? Naaaaahhh!1

  • The funny thing is that this post comes up after Shallow Internet Thinker #76436 whined on a message board I read that old tired canard that this election season (specifically the everyone-except-people-who-vote anti-Hillary faction) was NOT about unrestrained racism and bigotry all about White Working Class (or whatever cliches liberally borrowed from Married with Children) fighting for economic equality. It’s like actors reading from a different story than the one the screenwriter think he’s telling.

  • SkinlessGenderlessMan

    “River City News?”

    Ya got trouble, folks, right here in River City.
    Trouble with a capital “T”
    And that rhymes with “P” and that stands for pool!

    ….which, incidentally, rhymes with school.

    Maybe I should stop watching old musicals at bedtime….?

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