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hello Alex Jones

Alex Jones’s custody hearing with his ex-wife Kelly Jones continues apace! We’ve learned so many wonderful things about Mr. InfoWars this week, like how he’s not ACTUALLY crazy (according to his lawyer), but he IS ACTUALLY CRAZY (according to him, and apparently doctors). He is naked most of the time and he can’t remember what his kids look like if he’s eaten chili recently, but he really wants to keep his kids, presumably when it’s not chili day. His ex-wife, on the other hand, wants 50/50 custody.

Well, Thursday’s proceedings got REAL fun, and Huffington Post reports that Kelly Jones’s lawyer was finally able to get poor Alex to lose his marbles on the stand, which is quite a feat, considering how mentally stable he is. It all started when Jones was asked about his new wife, Enya (no, not the lady who is all “SAIL AWAY SAIL AWAY SAIL AWAY!” but a different Enya), and whether she used to be a massage hooker:

Jones began to lose his cool when [attorney Bobby] Newman pressed him about his current wife’s past, in which she allegedly worked six years ago as a masseuse under the name “Enya” advertising private, discreet services to men in hotel rooms. Jones said Newman mischaracterized her profession and that she worked as a yoga instructor, but Newman responded that she had testified herself in depositions that she advertised the private services.

JONES: Don’t call her a massage hooker!

NEWMAN: But she said she was a …

JONES: THE ILLUMINATI IS THE REAL MASSAGE HOOKER!

Anyway, according to HuffPo, the jurors were able to see Enya’s advertisements for “sensuous” massages, which pissed Jones off, but unfortunately Newman was like, “Again, Enya already said this stuff is legit, so shut up.”

But THEN he finally got REAL MAD:

Jones finally lost it when Newman walked him through a series of yes-or-no questions, trying to get Jones to say he attempted to keep his teenage son from seeing his mother. Newman was referring to an episode Jones mentioned in the previous day’s testimony, in which he tried to drop his son off for a visit with his mother and she refused to see him, and the son returned depressed for several days.

“You sit here and twist it!” Jones said, launching into a diatribe against the attorney, his voice quivering and appearing on the verge of tears. “You have won the award. You have no decency!”

It was the moment Newman had been waiting for. “Is that how you treat your children?” he asked. Then, twisting the knife: “Is that how you treat Enya?”

OUCH. Honestly — and we are showing grace here, like a common Kellyanne Conway — that sounds like quite a moment in a custody hearing, about a very personal issue between two divorced parents, and we don’t know if Alex Jones is bad to Enya or to his kids, so we’re not going to make fun of it.

Other things we learned in Thursday’s hearings were that Alex Jones banged another lady while he was with Enya, but it was before they got married, and also he smokes devil reefer once a year, just to see how strong George Soros is making it these days.

Just another day in the life of Alex Jones!

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[Huffington Post]

 

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  • JMP

    Yeah, I think Jones has officially won the award for worst civil client ever.

    • exinkwretch

      If he had only hired Larry Klayman as his lawyer — this could have been a PPV gold mine!

    • jenny_whyme

      I don’t know.. Ivana and Trump’s divorce was full of crazy shit. I’m sure there are plenty of lawyers hoping to get Trump under oath for a myriad of pending cases.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      We have a couple here who could give him a run for his money. Wish I could go into detail, but we have one who is putting up his trailer park as collateral for a pilot for a reality show.

      • Contemplative Ron

        ‘Putting up his trailer park as collateral for a pilot for a reality show’ IS a reality show.

        • Oblios_Cap

          “Life with the Palins”?

        • CindyinEncinitas

          He could do the first recursive reality show and maybe, HEY, we can go back in time. We could get Obama back, maybe, and this vain, bombastic, clueless client could actually end up doing some good in the world.

  • jesterpunk

    Did Alex Jones take off his clothes though? Also how much are his lawyers being paid and did they get cash up front since he seems to be doing everything he can to lose by being his crazy self.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      To be fair, I’m not wearing pants, either.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Me also too either.

        • Christopher Story

          What are these “pants” of which you all speak?

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Patriarchy. Go pantsless, and Smash the Man!

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            Down with the pantriarchy!

            ftfy

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Yiss!

            Boxers, Jockeys, G-strings, Bikinis
            Shove it to the Man, flash your Vaj or Weenie!

          • Christopher Story

            Wow. I had no idea my casual lounging attire (or more specifically lack thereof) was a political demonstration. Cool. Burn the pants! Lol.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            XD

          • nosuchuser

            They’re napkins you wrap around your legs for convenience

      • jesterpunk

        Yes but you’re also not in court. That is one of the few times pants are required.

  • schmannity

    Enya allegedly said, G.I. Jones, I love you long time.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “I leave door unlocked in case you give me trouble.”

  • Me not sure

    “Is that how you treat Harvey, your invisible rabbit pookah friend?”

  • Randy Riddle

    Is there a transcript of the full hearing available? I’m really thinking about putting together a theater piece for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival next year.

    • theblackdog

      You think we can get the voices of Rick and Morty to read it?

  • Ralph Gauer

    Man…. at the bottom of all this crazy, there are kids.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Honestly, I have no shaming for this Enya. Believe me, when bills and rent and all look hard, I think about ways to make it possible to pay them.

    Alex Jones is such a despicable excuse for anything that it’s just shocking, however.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Yeah, I’m not going to fault her for giving massages (or “massages”) in hotel rooms to make a living. I will, however, fault her for even associating with that lump of cray that is Alex Jones.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Agreed with that.

  • schmannity

    I’m still coming to terms that one woman has had sex with Jones at least 3 times.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Attorneys for Alex Jones’ ex-wife grilled him on the witness stand Thursday in his high-profile custody battle, in an aggressive line of questioning that focused on the conservative radio host’s temperament and character.

    First on the agenda: whether Jones had eaten chili that morning.

    “Is that a serious question?” Jones responded.

    “We just want to know if we need to breathe through our mouths instead of our noses!”

    – Court participants

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “We need to know this to determine if the jury must be equipped with chemical protection gear”

  • Marceline

    I continue to hope to the FSM that someone in there has a button cam and is is recording this stuff for upload as soon as the trial is over.

    • boyblue122

      The best we can hope for is someone will get the court transcripts then make a “drunk history” style reenactment

      I dont think cameras are allowed

      • Marceline

        I know they aren’t allowed and yet…how awesome would it be if video for this got dumped on the part of the dark net usually reserved for hacked nudes?

  • Jenny

    So wait how did the kids up living with him at all?? How bad was she that he got sole custody??

    Because Travis County is liberal as fuck towards Mom. That’s just a thing family lawyers will tell you here.

    Want to nail the other parent for being a dick? Take it to Wilco.

    Are you the fuck up parent? Keep that shit in Travis.

    • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

      Seriously, how nuts is she that being with him was ever even an option?

  • AndyC316

    What’s the over/under that the judge in the case says he can’t see kids at all w/out supervision? Because I think that would be best for everyone involved.

  • exinkwretch

    Waiting for AJ’s nomination as “White House Drug Policy Czar.” Or maybe “White House Massage Hooker Policy Czar.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      He can get a job at one of Donald’s new Trump branded spas in China!

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      Hope Dampnut’s lawyers are following this case closely, because Melania will be using many of the same tactics in a couple of years.

  • memzilla Ω

    … a very personal issue between two divorced parents… so we’re not going to make fun of it.

    lol you didn’t say WE shouldn’t. UNLEASH THE CRACKIN’!

    Q: How many massage hookers does it take to screw in a Alex Jones?
    A; That’s tomorrow’s testimony!

  • Of all the immensely toxic and dangerous people in the media he has been one of the greatest over the last 20 years. He truly sunk the nation to entirely new lows.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Newman’s cross-examination also brought up where and when Jones has smoked weed. Jones said he takes a few puffs every year to gauge how strong it has become since his high school days, arguing that law enforcement tests the potency of weed the same way he does.

    He expects us to believe that?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9889468d6c8d494fe81467335528339653dc9086c86fbf59b32cafc40b63765a.gif

    • schmannity

      No dedication. Yearly? I monitor daily, you slacker.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I admire your drive and dedication.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Thank you for your service.

      • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

        Thank you for your service.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Great minds, etc.

        • schmannity

          Just “thinking of the children.”

    • memzilla Ω

      lol and we thought “but I never inhaled” was weak sauce.

    • Vincent Ricola

      I can’t wait to drop a “I’ll hit it, but only to test the potency” line on my stoner ladies club friends.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Why, sure, the cops (who undoubtedly are given piss tests for drugs on a regular basis) smoke dope to gauge strength.

      That’s an excuse I never heard in all my time in the Army.

    • Prof. T. Green Bastard
      • Villago Delenda Est

        “Pass the Doritos.”

    • The people with the best dope are cops

  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

    No Massage Hooker, No Massage Hooker, You’re the Massage Hooker.

  • goonemeritus

    Haven’t we advanced far enough as a society that a man can’t date or even marry a nice lady that makes a living by going to hotel rooms and giving handjobs?

    • schmannity

      . . . and then be elected 45th President?

      FIFY

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Hey, a job’s a job.

  • Reality Killswitch

    You would think people that make their lives out of name calling everybody would have thick skin.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Newman, who has expressed frustration with Jones over the last days for gesturing at him or shaking his head during proceedings, badgered Jones when his answers veered off track.

    “If you’re not high, why can’t you just answer my questions?” Newman asked Jones at one point.

    Oh, there are so many places to go with that one…hee hee hee…

    • schmannity

      Home schooling?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Because you’re a human chem trail?

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      “Newman”….sounds “Northeasterly”. (BTW, if you didn’t watch “Trial and Error,” shame on you. It actually made me laugh hard enough that I had to hit “pause” several times. And John Lithgow is just soooooo good.)

  • Vincent Ricola

    I cannot see any sincerity in this clown show that makes it seem like Alex Jones actually wants custody of his children. If anything, it seems like he’s trying to lose custody, not gain it.

    Can someone explain this to me… it’s a money thing, right? Like one of those dumb MRA things where “that bitch shouldn’t get any of my money because I can just take the kids?”

    • jesterpunk

      Its George Soros’ fault.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      People lose their damned minds during a divorce. A friend stopped taking divorce cases after two people spent tens of thousands of dollars on attorneys only to have the negotiations collapse because they were bickering about tupperware. Not the house. Not the kids. “12 bucks worth of fucking plastic,” as my friend put it. My wife — a family law practitioner — has to regularly warn people not to commit felonies to get revenge on their ex. About a year ago, she went through 8 hours of mediation over a single child’s spring break schedule.

      Those were relatively sane people. I have no doubt that someone with as tenuous relationship with reality as Jones seems to have would fight tooth and nail just to keep his ex from seeing her kids.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      It’s a money thing. It is ALWAYS a money thing. I am sure he expects Enya to do the actual hands-on parenting if he gets custody.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    This whole trial thing is going so well for Alex.

    And I’m enjoying every second of it!

  • JMP

    It is the most self-immolating testimony since Sideshow Bob’s.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXU2vZTTeMU

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “I deride your truth-handling abilities!”

  • ManchuCandidate

    Newman: *Alex Jones, did you order the Code Red?*
    Judge Randolph: You *don’t* have to answer that question!
    Alex Jones: I’ll answer the question!
    You want answers?
    Newman: I think I’m entitled to.
    Alex Jones: *You want answers?*
    Newman: *I want the truth!*
    Alex Jones: *You can’t handle the truth!*

    /to be fair no one can handle the truth of Alex Jones sexy times outside of Illuminati, Reverse Vampires and RAND corporation bird mask orgies/

    Code Red = Happy Ending.

  • wait! what?

    This feels like it will end tragically with Alex taking his own life.

    • Caepan

      “Tragically” would not be a word I would use when speaking of Alex Jones offing himself.

  • theblackdog

    I’m wondering why KJ isn’t seeking sole custody of the kids if Alex is this batshit crazy.

    • Alan

      Yeah, what’s that about?

      • schmannity

        $$$

        • Alan

          I don’t get that. If the court gives her sole custody she gets even more money.

          • schmannity

            He wants sole custody to avoid paying. She wants half custody for half the work but she still needs 100% of the house to accommodate 3 children.

    • Perhaps because it presents her as the reasonable one

      • theblackdog

        Is she not?

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Sole custody is not that easy to get generally. You usually have to show the other parent is really unfit to be around his or her children. Which, I admit, if anyone can make that case with regard to the father here, it is Alex Jones.

      • theblackdog

        Yeah, that makes sense, though even with the high bar to prove it you’d think one of Alex’s Info Wars episodes would clear that bar and the moon without much effort.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    [providing] private, discreet services to men in hotel rooms

    To be honest, many people have done that at some point. Names and contact info, please. Thanks.

  • Alan

    I’m just shocked he has children.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I’m shocked that there are apparently at least three women on this planet who were willing to have sex with him

      • Villago Delenda Est

        It would be more shocking if any man wanted to have sex with him.

        • Contemplative Ron

          They say everybody is somebody’s fetish. But yeah, that would be stretching the aphorism to the breaking point.

  • Oblios_Cap

    So Alex wants the kids so he doesn’t have to pay child support, and mom only wants them half the time.

    This family sounds just like the Waltons!

    • Nynaeve

      That’s unfair. I’m sure the mom wants them all of the time. Her seeking 50/50 custody probably indicates that she loves them enough not to want them to be put through a giant custody battle. At least as far as she can control it.

  • clairence

    quivering voice, edge of tears… isn’t that the persona he said he’s play-acting on his show? Find some range, actor-dude.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    All I can say is- Kelly Jones must be a real piece of work too, or this case should have been over thirty seconds after it started…

  • Jurassic Ezio

    Oh boy, another Alex Jones article.

    I need to take a swig of my fluoride water before reading.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I just sprayed my monitor with vinegar

      • Jurassic Ezio

        Don’t forget to inspect your toaster and/or microwave for hidden cameras.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          Another Chemtrails drop over the Sekrit Chat Cave™

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Jason Chaffetz, is that you?!?

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Deny them your essence, Ezio.

  • Caitlin Fairchild

    Someday, somewhere, somehow, this man is going to kill himself.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Just like Breitbart.

    • snark-lurker

      he is doing it every day, one fit at a time

  • I remain shocked that there are women out there who look at him and say, “Yeah, I want some of that sweaty shirtless chili covered crazy man.”

    Even if you’re looking for a sugar daddy, you could do better.

    • Jenny

      In a Ferrari. He needs to be driving a Ferrari. Otherwise he is just your average hobo.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Careful research is essential when one is looking for a sugar daddy. Pick the wrong guy, and all of a sudden you’re stuck being First Lady of the United States.

  • Reality Killswitch

    That Newman got a very very easy case. SLAM DUNK!!!

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Nobody smokes pot “once a year to sample its potency”.

    Not even illuminati hookers.

    • MynameisBlarney

      What about illuminati pee-massage hookers?

    • boyblue122

      and how can you tell how strong pot is if you havent smoked in a year.

      Theres nothing else to compare the one sample of pot to

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    If she wasn’t a pee hooker, I’m gonna be pissed.

  • Chadwells

    If only AJ could figure out how to weaponize his amnesia farts…he’d get that mean lawyer good. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c80c046df1b8960c8b24b4c185ca023ecc2002cae7ac2e4d5632ca78373cb8bc.gif

  • Contemplative Ron

    I frankly have no fucks to give for the adults in this foofarah. But those poor kids…

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Can you imagine being the kid of someone famous and going through this? That shit on tape forever? Everyone watching? Poor things.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        My dad was a well known physician in town and I had to bear hearing stories of his bannangins. If my dad had been nationally known, I would have changed my name earlier.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    So I wonder if this case is going to have a happy finish?

    • Oblios_Cap

      I think that would be a reach.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Wouldn’t get too pumped up about it.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      One that tugs at the old heart strings?

  • Duke

    Google Erika Wulff

    He wouldn’t be the first to marry his favorite hooker.

    • ChancellorKnuckles

      It’s very possible Trump married his.

  • ChancellorKnuckles

    Newman actually began his questioning asking if Jones had had chili that morning. From HuffPo: “First on the agenda: whether Jones had eaten chili that morning.
    “Is that a serious question?” Jones responded.” I love that Newman took the opportunity to take that little snipe at him!

  • His current wife’s former occupation is a lot more respectable than his current day job.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Honestly, though, this Kelly Jones has to be a few bowls of chili shy of sanity herself. She, after all, met Alex Jones and thought to herself “I want to get me some of that, and make a life with him!”

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      And sexxxy time.

      Oh, wait. I just threw up in my mouth. A lot.

    • AndyC316

      Turds like this are very charismatic, and very good at hiding their crazy. We see it because of his show, but I can see someone knowing him from before all this and falling in love.

      • I think it much likelier she looked at his money and fell in love with that.

    • Pickles

      maybe she was smoking that soros grade weed

    • NerdWithNoName

      Is there a third person who could take the kids? Perhaps there is a cousin or grandparent that is semi in touch with reality. This family court stuff must be hard.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Having been married to an asshole and narcissist, I can attest that they can keep a facade going until they can’t. And that’s when the fun begins. Gaslighting. Isolation. Luckily, I had no kids with exH#2 and I never have to have any contact with him ever. I will probably attend his funeral, just to make sure he is dead (apologies, Mark Twain).

      • Swampgas_Man

        Bring a can of worms.

  • Mpeg

    “… and that’s *Ee*-nyah by the way. My wife’s name is pronounced, E-E-E-E-E-E-E-ENYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGHHHH”…

  • Jurassic Ezio

    Do you think Alex is just trying to become the real life Hulk? Was that his goal all these years? Because with all his tantrums that seems like what’s happening.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Needz moar exposure to radiation.

      • Jurassic Ezio

        With Donnie as Prez, that ain’t a problem.

      • Contemplative Ron

        Send him on a fact-finding trip to Korea, with no return ticket. That oughta do it nicely.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Can’t be, Bruce Banner is a genius.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Roid Rage would be my guess except he isn’t buff.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Messers Manafort and Lewandowski, your winnings, gentlemen.”

    • Vincent Ricola

      We have serious problems when the presidential inauguration fund is being used as a money-laundering scam.

      Those emails tho. :(

      • Anna Rompage

        But money laundering is the only way Trump can make any money, and now that’s he’s president, he doesn’t have to abide by ethics rules…….

  • TundraGrifter

    “Yogi Instructor.” “She’ll bend over backwards to please her clients.”

    • Contemplative Ron

      ‘Gee, Yogi, Mister Ranger isn’t gonna like that.’

      • snark-lurker

        LOL : )

      • TundraGrifter

        Smarter than the average bare.

  • Pickles

    “If you’re not high, why can’t you just answer my questions?” Newman asked Jones at one point.

  • cheetojeebus

    O/t the fashion biz, well, soulless. Soulless bottom feeding scum. http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-39639834

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Uh, why is there a skull on his desk?

    I hope that wasn’t the previous wife.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Whoa! I thought he was interviewing Ann Coulter!

    • Jurassic Ezio

      There’s a youtuber named Hbomberguy who makes response videos to alt righters, white nationalists and MRAs. He notes one of the things that show up in the backgrounds of their videos sometimes is they have skulls lying around.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        It’s macho, the skulls. because, um, death. And bones.

      • C4TWOMAN

        David Aunrini (sp) of the Sarkiesian Effect was mocked for this(snark about skulls begins around 1:35)

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsdIHK8O5yo

  • Fartknocker

    I remember when I was younger, sitting up late at night, and Alex was bloviating on Time Warner Cable public access channel 10 in Austin. I also remember he from time to time had some white stuff around his nose. I can only assume he liked the small little donuts covered in powdered sugar. I remember he was very excited on the shows where he had the little white powder covered donuts.

    • snark-lurker

      you got ME all excited now!!!

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I like those donuts.

    • Ralph Gauer

      I saw him then, too (recovering Texan shout-outs!)… and I genuinely wondered 1.) why does that poor man not get the help he clearly needs?; and 2.) where can this possibly end but obscurity? So I am 0-for-2…

    • Little Lulu Ω

      Included in his paranoid fantasies back in the 90s was the Austin City Council. I can’t recall why them. They were part the same sort of nightmarish imaginings he usually reserved for Clinton and the martial law Clinton was about to declare. Any moment now. I also recall that he somehow impersonated a Kennedy and attended the very exclusive annual weekend retreat where politicians and media whores gathered to worship Satan. It sounds like I just made that up, but I swear that that scenario is at least close.

  • Anna Rompage

    “Enya’s Happy Endings Massage & Yoga Services” we offer private, discreet services to you, and provide them in the comfort of your hotel room, or home…

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I’m all in until I read the part about yoga. That shit’s hard.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        You need to eat a lot of yogurt, and work with a yogi. In a yurt.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          That’s why I go to the YMCA.

          Ok, and maybe a few other reasons.

        • Nockular cavity

          I think she works with a yoni.

        • Anna Rompage

          I’ve got a yurt in my backyard, and make my own yogurt as well…

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    What’s gotten Enya, Alex?

    • janecita

      Allegedly, a whole bunch of her clients.

    • H0mer0

      did she “give-it-away-give-it-away-give-it-away-now?” I would agree, that in this type of work, it isn’t good business.
      Fine, I’m going!

  • boyblue122

    OT – House Intel Trump-Russia hearings back on for May 2nd

    https://twitter.com/leahmcelrath/status/855477484212629505

    • The Wanderer
      • Rebekahhmurphy

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        !so261c:
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    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Futility is useless.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I read that the closed hearing is on May 2nd and the open hearing will be later.

  • LarryHoudini

    Holy shit–that’s got to be Enya used to work down at the Motel Six on Sam Houston Boulevard. Chick was fuckin crazy! Used to pay her an extra $50 for the “Inside Job.”
    Gosh . . . hope Alex ain’t readin this.

    • The Wanderer

      I’m not sure he can read – unless it’s what he smears on the wall in his own feces.

    • Gregory Brown

      Oh, I hope he is.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    You know, marriage and children aren’t for everyone.

    • The Wanderer

      I found that out before children entered the picture.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Same here and felt like that was the best time for that realization.

        • The Wanderer

          Yep. When I finally brought up the subject of divorce, I discovered that she’d been thinking about it for 6 months.
          I’ve celebrated June 12th every year since.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            September 2nd here. Luckily, it coincides with DragonCon so I make it a twofer.

  • janecita

    OT, I had my annual GYN visit today, and my doctor gave me an early 40th birthday present, a script for my first mammography.
    Thanks Trump!

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      I’m coming up right behind you, sister. Not to give you a mammogram, though! You know what I mean!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      A script?

      PATIENT: Ouch!
      DOCTOR: Hold still, ma’am.

      • Dg Hacket

        It was all going well, until I noticed he had both hands on my shoulders. “Al right” he said ” your going to feel some pressure and then a little prick”

    • Shanzgood

      I’m not so sure about them as a routine procedure any more. The first one I ever had after my 40th BD (I called it al my 40K Mile Checkup) got me sent back scared 6 months later, then 6 months after that, because “dense tissue” is a thing that makes them worry. I don’t have a history of breast cancer in my family so I’m not super concerned about keeping up with the extra radiation from lots of mammograms. I’ve had my boobs for long enough to know when they’re behaving abnormally.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        So, are misbehaving boobs something we married husbands should look out for or look forward to? Asking for a friend …

        • Shanzgood

          Yes! There are physical signs. I had to go to PP to find out initially. They gave me a plastic boob to grope so I would know what different lumps felt like, what the normal ones were compared to the “get this checked out NOW” kind. There’s other stuff as well.

    • teele

      Tip: about 2 hours before you are scheduled to have this procedure, take some ibuprofen (or your preferred OTC pain reliever). You will have to take some afterwards, anyway, so you may as well get ahead of it. Just about the time you’ve got past the humiliation of the pap smear, they throw you on the torture rack!

      • janecita

        Thanks for the tip, I’ll do that!

  • MynameisBlarney

    HAHA!!!

    No waiver for ol’ pooty poot!

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10028959995

    • AndyC316

      Political kabuki — or bukake — pick your pleasure

      • thixotropic jerk

        kabukake –y not both?

    • Reality Killswitch

      No waiver for ya!

    • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

      Eh, they’ll just wait until the heat dies down a little and then green light it.

  • janecita

    I’m sorry, but to do Alex Jones you need to be a hooker. Enya’s line of work makes a lot of sense. I hope that he is paying her well.

  • Nockular cavity

    Wait, are you telling me Jones has a bad temper, as is prone to flying into fits of rage? I find that hard to believe.

    • thixotropic jerk

      So Wonkette has this bridge they’re looking to sell, it’s a really great deal, and they thin you might be just the person to buy it–

  • Jurassic Ezio

    Donald Trump may be orange but Alex Jones is straight up pink.

  • Jgb979

    “he can’t remember what his kids look like if he’s eaten chili recently”

    I can understand pretty much everything associated with Alex Jones, when you consider he’s a deeply stupid narcissist performance artist with rage issues.

    The chili thing is completely insane

    Is it some form of untreated diabeetus that causes his blood sugar to skyrocket when slurping down the savory goodness? Is it the illuminati replacing cumin with cyanide?

    • I think it is his hardening arteries and little mini strokes.

    • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

      Maybe he only eats chili when he’s high off his ass?

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Alex Jones needs to be on some heavy anti-psychotics….or the biggest bowl of chili known to man

    • Jurassic Ezio

      You could say that he needs to…chili out.

      I’ll leave now.

      • thixotropic jerk

        Be sure and come back tamale…
        …I was never here, m’kay?

  • Reality Killswitch

    Alex Jones is worth $5M for making bullshit up.

    • Whollyholeyholy

      Until I started reading Wonkette’s coverage of this trial, I had assumed he was aware that it was make believe.

  • The Witch of Endor

    What I really worry about is if Jones loses his custody battle. There are a lot of reasons to worry about his children, but if the hearing doesn’t go his way, I don’t see him just accepting it.

    • Boscoe

      Meh, he’ll rant on youtube with his shirt off. I don’t see him throwing away his life doing anything more stupid than normal. Anyway, I hear he and Enya are busy making more kids for the Jones media dynasty…

    • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

      Alex Jones is so used to just saying what he thinks, he’d fuck himself over pretty quickly by ranting threats on TV or internet against his wife and/or the judge.

  • Shanzgood

    The children are mostly of an age (9, 12, 14) where the judge could take into consideration what their wishes are. When I was adopted at 12, the judge addressed me in court to see if I understood what was going on and if it’s what I wanted. I would think the Jones kids could go the same.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      It depends on the state and the judge. A lot of them actually don’t really care about the children, so much as they do “parents’ rights”.

      • Shanzgood

        It’s sad the judge hasn’t thrown it out entirely already.

      • puredog

        It’s Texas, so I think we have to default to “whatever makes the least sense.”

  • Reality Killswitch

    It seems like liberals are systematically dismantling the GOP propaganda machine.

    • undercover epicurean

      Nah, it’ll collapse under the weight of its own hubris eventually. Not that the damage won’t already be done.

    • DainBramage

      There’s always another idiot to take the place of those that have fallen. Usually, they’re worse.

      • Gregory Brown

        I don’t think Tucker on his tuckeriest day could outdo the Falafel Master on a day when he had the flu.

    • Gregory Brown

      Au contraire, I think they are being hoist on their own petards. They are so vile that eventually they horrify even their greedy sponsors. Now, liberals do help to keep up the scare, but without the heinous, despicable behavior and towering arrogance of the propagandists, there’s no way we could get any traction.

  • Whollyholeyholy

    She wants him to have them 50% of the time! So neither of them are suitable parents.

    • LucindathePook

      It’s kinda the opposite of the Judgment of Solomon.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      50% of this guy? Why not just send the kids to Gitmo?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Actually, it wasn’t until my daughter went to live with her dad full time at age 15 that she got to see all of the stuff he had been hiding from her on the weekend visits. Before, when she’d ask me questions, I had to weigh whether to tell her the truth or hedge.

      • mancityRed6

        the only thing I’ve learned from the people I know: you never speak ill of the ex in front of the kid. if they’re smart, they’ll figure out the truth eventually.

        • Gregory Brown

          The former wife and I never put the kids between us. One of the best things we ever did was suck it up and act like adults. Helped that the boys were off to college when we split, but we get along fine now and get together with our guys when we can, for holidays and such.

          • mancityRed6

            the only one I saw happening (after the big D) was where the dad had money but didn’t want to share it and he was generally a dick. his ex didn’t say anything bad at all and the daughter ended up knowing how much of a dick her dad had been.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      She is someone who once looked at Alex Jones and said to herself: “Marry him!”

      • Gregory Brown

        Exactly. Never lose track of that fact.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    I feel that we Wonketteers should point out that we have absolutely nothing against massage hookers. At all. Just for the record.

    • azeyote

      i appreciate their services – didn’t seem to help him mellow out though –

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        IKR?

        • thixotropic jerk

          They do make my working life difficult better they just get legalized and be done with the subterfuging

  • Mavenmaven

    Hopefully this story will have a happy ending.

    • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

      A happy ending would be the ex-wife being granted 100% custody, getting a restraining order against Alex enforced, and then hundreds of people then gaslighitng him by saying his kids were just government actors, or never existed at all.

    • H0mer0

      ISWYDT

  • Libby liberal

    The biggest revelation of this mess is that multiple women had sex with Alex Jones.

    • chortlingdingo

      It is kind of baffling.

      • Gregory Brown

        Old grandmas’ saying: There’s a lid for every pot.

        • H0mer0

          Is there a pot for every lid? A lot of lids in my cupboards would like to know.

    • thixotropic jerk

      sex or $ex?

  • Technus

    Did he really call the Illuminati a massage hooker?!? Lol!

    • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

      He’s married to the Illuminati? It figures!

      • thixotropic jerk

        I just saw Illuminati Massage Hookers at Coachella -meh show but they gave out free LED minidildoes shaped like Alex Jones

        • H0mer0

          I would think that would trigger vaginismus.

  • BrianW

    One thing for sure: if this goes boom he has no future in rap music. I mean, “smoke weed once a year” is not the most compelling lyric, ya know?

    • hendenburg2

      Well, it’s probably that PCP-laced twigs-n-seedz stuff from Training Day, so there’s that bit of street cred at least.

      • BrianW

        When you start from zero, any increase is a major one.

  • Steve R.

    The ex-wife actually stated that she thought Donald Trump paid off the courts… in Austin, TX… in favor of Jones… Sounds like that cunt needs some scitzo meds… LMFAO no wonder alex is fighting so hard to keep his kids away from that loon.

    • WiscoJoe

      Well, meds can certainly help treat people with delusional tendencies.

      Here’s hoping everyone with serious mental problems can access the treatment they need. It takes personal responsibility and courage, but it’s worth it to take that step. Do you have any experience with this?

    • Little Doll–MOAMF
      • gratuitous

        Would it be irresponsible to speculate on the size of his penis? Or would it be more irresponsible not to speculate?

        • anon_the_great

          What would be irresponsible would be to allow it within a mile of another human

      • hendenburg2

        totally OT, but give me that kitten right now.

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      I actually think he wants nothing to do with the kids and that’s why he’s acting like crazy person. I think he wants the jury to award custody to his ex-wife so he doesn’t have to deal with the kids.

    • Rex Thorne

      The foul language, inverted-reality, and poor-spelling makes me think you’re just a common wingnut.

      • BrianW

        Wingnuttus Americanis. The one invasive species that is in no danger of dying off. To celebrate(?) our most recent infestation, let’s play a game. What would the names of some subtypes be?

        • kareemachan

          brianw would be my guess

          • BrianW

            Oh, I’m too modest to claim this discovery. I was thinking something along the lines of naming the subspecies along the lines of who they support. Steve R, for instance, could be: Wingnuttus Americanis/Alexichili

          • H0mer0

            I think that would be “Alexichilii.” (then again, there isn’t a dubya in Latin and probably not an equis either)

          • BrianW

            Well, my Latin is pig at best, so I will defer to you on the finer points.

          • H0mer0

            [that would be a grave mistake]/sn

    • Treg Brown
      • BrianW

        You know, in looking at that picture of Jones, I can’t decide if he’s:
        A) Laughing,
        B) Crying
        C) Dying, or
        D) Ejaculating

        • Vienna Woods

          I’m too busy looking at picture #2.

    • kareemachan

      and blocked.

    • Gregory Brown

      In case you had not heard, comments are not allowed on this site.

    • thixotropic jerk

      so does the “R” stand for “Really Dumm” or “Raging Mouthbreathing Ratfucking Runcible Spoonface?”

    • doktorzoom

      You seem nice. Or maybe banhammered. Yes, definitely banhammered.

      — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

      • The Flaming Carrot

        Lovingly corrected.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    So who do we think will play Alex Jones in the miniseries?

    • WiscoJoe

      Sarah Paulson.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        She could do it, too. She’s that good.

        • WiscoJoe

          She’s a national treasure.

          American Horror Story: The Mechanical Elves vs Alex Jones

    • Little Doll–MOAMF

      Better still, who would play him on SNL?

      • Pisto75666

        Bring Melissa McCarthy back, OBVIOUSLY.

    • WiscoJoe

      Alternately, Kathy Bates would kill it as Jones.

    • nosuchuser

      Gary busey 45 days into a 90 day bender….

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    We’ve uncovered photos of this mysterious masseuse that finds Alex Jones so attractive:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ac6dea11bcf9d963d66721e469df0a64298437de42318a4a1c7663c19256c58f.png

  • Pisto75666

    “You sit here and twist it!” Jones said, launching into a diatribe against the attorney, his voice quivering and appearing on the verge of tears. “You have won the award. You have no decency!”

    “You have won the award.”.I know this is redundant but…whatthefuck?

    • Swampgas_Man

      Alex Jones Impersonator of the Year.

      • Pisto75666

        Can you imagine what the real thing must be like? *SHUDDER*

  • Bitter Scribe

    …he really wants to keep his kids, presumably when it’s not chili day. His ex-wife, on the other hand, wants 50/50 custody.

    Wait, what? He has full custody now and he wants to preserve that?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      How better to hurt and punish his ex? But it looks like a few years away from Kelly have helped her get over the gaslighting, abuse and threats whe must have had to live with. And that the kids, as they get older, have to deal with.

  • Bill Slider

    The most troubling part of all is it there are three young teenagers in need of an adult role model, preferably two emotionally stable parents, when the evidence rather clearly indicates there is not even one such candidate. These children, with their five millon dollar father, are no better off than three homeless teenagers who live on the streets. Yet Republicans continue to believe that lowering taxes for the wealthy, reducing the federal burden of costly social programs and increasing military spending are the solution to a stronger and healthier economy. It is surprising not at all, that these are the people who believe that Jesus existed, had blonde hair, blue eyes and white skin, while favoring US citizens who speak English, over the rest of the world. At least their logic is consistent.

    • Gregory Brown

      You are right. The kids are the ones getting screwed here, no matter what.

  • hendenburg2

    Gonna be honest, I do think that Newman crossed the line a few times.

    Not that I have any sympathy for Jones.

    • vivian

      That’s his job. Bait the witness into revealing their true character.
      It’s not pretty, but it’s absolutely necessary.

      • Swampgas_Man

        PERRY MASON IS A LIE!

        • mailman27

          Perry Masonary.

          • thixotropic jerk

            Perry (was a ) Mason = ILLUMINATI!!!!

    • kareemachan

      whatever

    • Gregory Brown

      Newman’s job is to make Jones look unfit as a parent. So far, so good.

      • hendenburg2

        I get all of that. But remember, all of this is now open, public record. And for better or for worse, this is still happening to 3 children.

        • Gregory Brown

          Correct. And, as always, it’s the kids who take it on the chin.

    • hillarysleftone

      like, where the fuck was the judge? where are the relevance objections? I understand that when the issue is as amorphous as “best interests of the child” and the inclusive nature of the definition relevance in what were the “new” rules back in the 70s when I was in law school, but this is everything that makes family law practice the skeeviest litigation practice there is.

      • Swampgas_Man

        I imagine the judge was sitting back and eating popcorn, just watching the spectacle like the rest of us. Judges gotta have fun too!

    • OrdinaryJoe

      It was cross examination. Here are the rules of cross examination:

      There are no rules in cross examination.

      • hendenburg2

        What about “no hearsay”?

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Yep. I’m good with it.

  • anon_the_great

    Someone asked earlier what’s wrong with massage hookers. Um, prostitution?

    The Happy Hooker is a lie of patriarchy.

    • HazooToo

      I dunno if I know enough to say whether prostitution should be a legal choice for people as a career. That’s for smarter people than me to argue about. But I do want them to feel safe reporting crimes against them! Just because prostitution is illegal doesn’t mean that a prostitute is no longer a person who deserves justice.

      • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

        That would require decriminalization of sex work. There’s not really any other way to make sure that sex workers will feel safe reporting crimes against themselves.
        It would also have the benefit of putting pimps out of work, and reducing human trafficking significantly.

        • HazooToo

          I have read articles where women and men talk about their jobs in sex work favorably. And I can understand their views. On the other hand, we have people who are either trapped into it with no other option that keeps their lives together, or people who are forced into it through violence and abduction. I’m not sure it would entirely put pimps out of business, and it also doesn’t rule out the concept of a prostitution corporation taking control. The most it seems like it would do is give it the same structure as a business. You could freelance. You could be a “small business owner”. You could own a publicly traded escort company which included sexual services. And any of the problems people have had with freelancing, small businesses, or large ones would happen with the men and women working in those situations. But they would indeed have the benefit of being able to report a robbery, rape or assault without fearing arrest for their line of work. That said, I still have no actual moral opinion of sex work, only the circumstances it’s done in, and I still think I don’t know enough to have any business saying any of the stuff I just said.

          • Angry Hour

            Nordic model. Arrest pimps and johns. Selling sex is legal, buying it is not.

          • HazooToo

            That actually sounds good. Yet ANOTHER damn thing we could observe in other countries and use in ours that would make a bloody difference, if we weren’t so busy pretending we’re the greatest fucking nation in the world.

          • Zannah Merrill

            Still makes it rough on sex workers, and does nothing to encourage them bringing their business into the light. It’s great for abuse and trafficking, horrible for those who rely on sex work to survive, many of whom have difficulty with other employment due to disability or other issues. Either it’s acceptable or it’s not. Either we want to assist the people involved or we don’t. We can’t have it both ways.

      • Gregory Brown

        Back in 1971 I attended American Legion Boys State, which, if you haven’t heard, is an educational camp where “good” boys from various high schools gather to establish a mock state legislature and governor, submit and debate bills, pass laws, etc. My friends and I in the Assembly crafted a bill that would regulate prostitution as a legitimate business, including health care for the employees, safety regulations, and taxes on the business for the state treasury. Almost got it to a vote on the floor when some momma’s boys warned that what we did was being covered by our local newspapers, and how would it look, yadda yadda, our parents, yadda, blah blah blah, and scared our legislative “colleagues” away from it. Damn, that was a great bill.

        • HazooToo

          Maybe you should try to rewrite it as well as you can, then send it along with an essay supporting it to one of our more responsive Dem congresscritters. It would be interesting to see what they have to say about something like that, even if it’s just in a letter back to you.

    • Angry Hour

      Exactly. It is exhausting that I have to argue this point with progressive minded people. Opposition to prostitution and sex positivity are not contradictory positions. Consent is not possible when sex is a commodity.

      • Zannah Merrill

        Excuse me? Why is consent not possible? As a nurse aide, I was often elbow deep in people’s dignity, and being paid for it did not make either of our consents less necessary.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Jones was formally diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder according to case worker testimony.

  • Ian

    WHY ISN’T THIS BEING TELEVISED LIVE !!!!????

    • lastroth

      Yeah! What ever happened to Court TV?

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    Not sure if someone posted this, but wow…

    https://twitter.com/oliverdarcy/status/855495474396237825

    • Gregory Brown

      The schadenfreude is rich, and full bodied, with a piquant tang on the finish.

      • SnarkON

        Pairs well with crow.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Bwahahahahahaha.,,

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    “Alex Jones Gets PIIIIIIISSED” can pretty much cover any article on/by him, ever

  • CatCope

    jonsey gets pissed when ………. YOUR NEW WIFE IS A MASSAGE HOOKER, YOUR NEW WIFE IS A MASSAGE HOOKER, YOUR NEW WIFE IS A MASSAGE HOOKER, YOUR NEW WIFE IS A MASSAGE HOOKER (But on the brighter side, she probably makes GOOD $$$$) !!!
    YOUR NEW WIFE IS A MASSAGE HOOKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    And – seriously – we all wish that this will cause him to fade away into obscurity, but we know what’s really going to happen.

    After he loses custody, he’ll become another fucking Men’s Rights martyr (now that the space formerly occupied by Paul Elam is pretty much vacant). Our only hope is that he doesn’t try to go down in a blaze of glory.

  • obadiahorthodox

    thanks George soros for the devil’s green

  • President in Exile Firefly

    So this won’t have a happy ending for Alex.

  • Respondent#124847

    I’d say Ol’ Alex’s sanity has sailed away, sailed away, sailed way, but that ship sailed a LONG time ago…

  • Querolous
  • Chris

    Pehaps the final result will be that neither party is responsible enough for custody and the court will seek a responsible (read less crazy) family member or foster care until this couple has enough therapy to not be a danger to their kids.

    I can dream can’t I?

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend

    “Marihuana, the weed that has its roots in George Soros’ backyard!”

  • Panika MCD

    1) chili is the State Dish of TX. what day in TX is not chili day?

    2) *Kelly’s 4th or 5th lawyer. because: of course she’s crazy! she married Alex Jones and stayed with him for like 15 years and bore 3 of his children. you don’t do that if you aren’t a little nuts yourself.

  • merl1

    Soros needs to step up his game. I’m developing a resistance against the now weak shit we have.

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      I would just love to see George Soros debate Alex Jones. Soros would have to say only one sentence and Jones’s head would explode from having to process complex information.

      • Eric

        Soros, the Nazi collaborator?

        • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

          Had you listened to an actual news source instead of a whack-job source, you would know that George Soros lost his parents to the Nazis. Even before the Nazis invaded Hungary, Soros’s family had to change their last name from Schwartz to Soros due to anti-Jewish sentiment.

          • Eric

            In his own words, Soros admitted to helping the Nazis. This was on 60 Minutes, a known wack job news source.

    • Duke

      I’m sure Alex will tell you, from his studies, that today’s shit is way stronger.

  • The Librarian

    I cannot believe Mr. Jones ever tokes. If he did, he wouldn’t have throbbing face veins all the time. Once a year is clearly not enough.

  • LadyLaz

    Wow

  • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

    Tubby always acts the populist. But ask him an intelligent question and his face will melt in confusion.

    Like I said, it’s too bad that Chris Farley didn’t live long enough to play Alex Jones.

  • Rebekahhmurphy

    Managing director of Google!, is explaining to users to start off “Work at home” method, that People have been doing for about one year now. These days alone, I generated close to $36,000 until now with no more than my home computer as well as some spare time, despite that i have a fulltime 9 to 5 job. Even everyone not used to this, can make $89/per h easily and the earnings can go even higher over time… This is how i started
    !so261c:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs551ShopElectroGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!so261c:….,…….

  • SeeTrain65

    Jones is the only person who believes “massage with release” means to get a massage and scream at the top of his lungs about chemtrails throughout.

    • Duke

      What’s beyond “ironic?”

      Where’s my English majors at?

      Where’s my English Majors at?

      Excuse me. “Where are my English majors.”

    • Tread

      Fuck that motherfucker and his children.
      –All of the Sandy Hook families

  • I remember where I was when I first heard an Enya song. No I don’t…
    https://media4.giphy.com/media/9PM7YAqh2e5sk/giphy.gif

  • QuestionMark666

    What this all says to me is that it must be time to legalize sex work, prostitution should no longer lead to shaming in a time when great men like Alex Jones and even the billionaire president are married to ex-hookers.

    • L.M.C. Oma

      Wow, misogynistic much? It’s still illegal because people like you (and 17 others) use it to try and bring women down. There’s​ enough crap for you to say about those women without demeaning others. Please don’t say it was just a joke or that I’m being a snowflake (conservative word). I’m just sick of casual bias.

      • QuestionMark666

        I am not at all joking when I say that professional sex work, intercourse for cash, should be legal. I know several long-time (I mean decades) HDH escorts. I have produced several websites for escorts and hosted meet and greets for providers and hobbyists. I know personally dozens of hookers. There is nothing MORE empowering for women than to be a small business with an infinitely renewable resource to sell.

        • L.M.C. Oma

          I agree 100%.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Normalcy is a tough sell when your whole career has been built around being a paranoid psychotic. Then again, Trump pulled it off, so there’s hope for Jones.

  • SnarkON

    “You sit here and twist it!” = that’s what Enya said.

  • The Flaming Carrot

    As a onetime Guardian ad Litem, I can tell you beyond a reasonable doubt that “masseuse” is an euphemism. Particularly if it’s in an ad in the “bitches of back page.” Not saying that a “masseuse” can’t make a good parent, though.

  • onedollarjuana

    “Flail away, flail away, flail away!”

  • Chris Doseck

    You people lie, twist facts and defame people like it’s fun. You’re sick and I hope that the writers of this article end up sued.

  • Jay Alvarez

    Just listening to your tone tells me enough not to come here for news anymore everything is so biased in the way you put it.

  • Barb

    Here’s a flat out lie from this article: “he can’t remember what his kids look like if he’s eaten chili recently.” The truth is that he was asked to remember his kids TEACHERS’ NAMES, not his kids faces you lying POS. This lie alone should make people NEVER read anything you publish. You and your articles are just CRAP.

  • Larry Faught

    who cares what alex jones opinion is! he’s a slime, snake making millions off of a network that’s as slime ly also.WHO LISTENS TO HIM AND WHY? I’VE NEVER WATCH HIS SHOW.Any women that finds him attractive(like his ex. is a bottom line,floozy.

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