SHARE
Oh, just go fuck yourself.
Oh, just go fuck yourself.

Thursday afternoon, something happened that seemed like it might be a “whoa!” moment in the whole Trump Russia investigation. Attorney General Jeff Sessions announced that the United States is putting together plans to arrest Julian Assange, based on charges going all the way back to 2010, that WikiLeaks actively colluded with Chelsea Manning to publish leaked government secrets, and later, that it did the same with Edward Snowden. It’s also been publishing NSA and CIA secrets, and the intelligence community is pissed. And oh yeah, WikiLeaks did Russia’s bidding (and probably Trump’s bidding!) in the 2016 election, by indiscriminately leaking whatever Russian hackers had on Hillary Clinton, but that’s not what Sessions’s thing is about, not at all. But at the same time, WHOA IF TRUE! Is this the opening salvo in what will be many indictments that will ultimately put most of Team Trump in jail? LOL, slow your roll, because yr Wonkette smells a decoy.

(We are not, at the moment, addressing what this means for press freedoms, the First Amendment, etc., because it’s been a while since our Civil Liberties and 1A classes, we’re not sure if WikiLeaks counts as “press” or just “spies,” and Popehat has yet to weigh in.)

Let’s look at what Jeff Sessions actually said in his presser Thursday, when he announced that his Justice Department has decided to be “GRRR ARGH” about Julian Assange, which is a marked flip-flop from the campaign, when Sessions’s boy Donald Trump howled constantly about how much he loved the “Wicky-Licks”:

Attorney General Jeff Sessions said at a news conference Thursday that Assange’s arrest is a “priority.”

“We are going to step up our effort and already are stepping up our efforts on all leaks,” he said. “This is a matter that’s gone beyond anything I’m aware of. We have professionals that have been in the security business of the United States for many years that are shocked by the number of leaks and some of them are quite serious. So yes, it is a priority. We’ve already begun to step up our efforts and whenever a case can be made, we will seek to put some people in jail.”

“All leaks,” huh? So that’s what this is about? Have we decided to try to lend a shred of legitimacy to Donald Trump’s bullshit obsession with people leaking mean things about him, by starting with the ultimate leaker of them all? Because we know what “leakers” means when Trumpers say it. Is the strategy to take the existing case against Julian Assange (that the Obama administration didn’t move on), and then from there go after government employees who leak things and journalists who publish things that make TinyHands McPussGrab sad? Former Obama Justice Department official Matthew Miller is curious:

Last week, we were pleasantly surprised to see Trump’s CIA director, Mike Pompeo, actually go HARD after Julian Assange. He read that piece of shit for filth. However, taken in context with the announcement from Sessions, it makes us wonder if there’s a strategy in play here.

Consider:

  • Assange is not going anywhere at the moment. He’s holed up in the Ecuadorean embassy in London, where he is fat and unhappy and hiding from rape charges in Sweden. Sessions’s announcement isn’t likely to change that, unless Bubba knows something we don’t know.
  • Jeff Sessions is NASTY DIRTY with Trump Russia scandal filth, having met multiple times with the Russian ambassador, and then having lied about that in his confirmation hearings. This led him to recuse himself from any investigations involving Trump and Russia. We have no idea how deep he is and how much treason he’s committed, but he’s implicated.
  • Mike Pompeo is one of Trump’s boys. He’s not directly implicated in the Russia thing (that we know of), but he was one of the Benghazi investigatin’ douche-rockets, and he exists on an ideological plane with Trey Gowdy and enema boy Jason Chaffetz. What we’re saying is that he’s a fuckhead.

So, with those things in mind, let’s think about what Jeff Sessions’s newfound desire to declare Julian Assange Public Enemy No. 1 could mean, and what it probably doesn’t mean.

MOAR BULLET POINTS!

  • It could mean Justice actually has some sort of strategy to lure Assange out of the shadows and give him what he deserves. Good, if so!
  • It could mean, as we stated above, that this is a decoy to make it look like the Trumpers are taking the Russia thing seriously, because LOOKIE HERE, WE WANT TO ARREST THIS ASSHOLE! But instead of using that as a springboard to go after all the rest of those #complicit in the Russian/Wikileaks attack on our election, they instead want to pivot to prosecuting “leakers” who say mean things to the Washington Post about how (HIGHLY CLASSIFIED INFORMATION) Donald Trump has a tiny dick.
  • It could mean that, even though it’s widely accepted — even among Republicans — that the Russians actively used Assange in their campaign to meddle in our election, the Trumpers want to paint an #AlternativeFacts picture where Assange becomes the scapegoat, so we can stop investigating all the Trump associates who may or may not have colluded with him. Nothing to see here, folks! That Julian Assange is a BAD HOMBRE, and Trump’s gonna GIT HIM.
  • Meanwhile, it could mean team Trump has decided to burn an asset that’s no longer useful to them. There are rumors out there on the internets (rumors from James Comey saying it out loud) that Assange is sitting on SHITLOADS more information than he’s released, and that could include compromising information about the current administration. Short version: Maybe Assange has all the pee hooker tapes. WHOA IF TRUE! If he were to turn on Trump, oh boy, that could be bad news! Better arrest him now!

What we’re saying is that all this might be designed to make it appear as if Trump and pals are Gettin’ Tuff, while they kill off (figuratively! we’re not Russia YET) a non-state actor who was part of the conspiracy to get them elected, now that he’s no longer useful to them. And they might just want to set up a narrative, again, where he is a Bad Dude who worked independently, so they can be like “PROBLEM SOLVED, AMERICA! We fixed the election meddling thing! Now shut up.”

We’re not saying the plan to bring charges against Assange and arrest him is bad in and of itself, because fuck that piece of shit. We’re saying PAY CLOSE ATTENTION to what they do next, because the Trump regime hasn’t given us one reason to trust them in the past, so there’s no reason to start now.

Wonkette is fully funded by YOU! Click below, to give us money!

[CNN]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • msanthropesmr

    Giant meteor FTW

  • ManchuCandidate

    Rapist, Racist, Dickhead, Assholes

  • Anna Elizabeth

    RE: the Headline:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e99ad3b70fc810e8f312df0fbf66c0b62f24d3f35b143e9ba278b778ff665114.jpg

    EDIT: no spoilers please, I wont be able to watch “Civil War” ’til May. THNX! :D

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I’M WITH CAP!

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Stark’s a huge fuck up!

      • Oblios_Cap

        I liked him better in the comics when he was a raging alcoholic.

      • TJ Barke

        He’s got PTSD! Leave him alone!

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        Ned or Robb?

        • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

          Haha! Starks in general. You see a Stark, run! You’re either going to get beheaded or have an entire city dropped on you.

    • goonemeritus

      I’m Team Baron Heinrich Zemo

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Masters of Evil, eh?

        • goonemeritus

          I appreciate his fashion sense.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Meteor.

    Or, injuries.

  • Nounverb911

    Well, Wikileaking is fund raising off of this already.

    https://twitter.com/wikileaks/status/852665192299278336

    • DainBramage

      No way I give those guys my credit card number. Or anything else.

      • Me not sure

        Might as well just sign over your first-born child.

      • Reddishrabbit

        As long as you do nothing wrong* all you information is safe.

        *Wrong includes, criticizing WikiLeaks, Julian Assange, that they like, Russia, and anyone or thing they decide upon.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      I don’t know anything about how Bitcoin works. If I just email them and say I HEREBY GIVE YOU ALL MY BITCOIN MONIES, will that make them think they have them?

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • msanthropesmr

      All these people suck.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Pithy, but pray tell, upon what or whom doth they sucketh?

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Meteor.

  • goonemeritus

    Trump wants to prosecute now only because the next leaks will probably involve leaky Slavic hookers.

    • ziggywiggy

      I think that pee hookers aren’t what trump is worried about, hell he’s probably proud of that. He’s worried that the actual size of his penis will be revealed. All of this national nightmare known as trump has been because he is insecure about his tiny dick.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Reporters vs. useful idiots for Vlad. How do we draw the distinction? Given that the Village is filled with stenographers, not reporters, it’s pretty easy, actually.

  • memzilla Ω

    According to Wikileaks, if you make a contribution to Wonkette using the linky above, Disqus loads 50x faster and never crashes.

    • Me not sure

      “CLICK”… Sweet jesus, it’s true!

  • memzilla Ω

    Julian Assange vs. Jefferson Beauregard Sessions? You’re asking me to choose between a Russian propaganda mouthpiece vs. a Confederacy propaganda mouthpiece?

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Either way, you get oral.

    • DainBramage

      I say we put them on an island together and let them work it out. Or maybe an iceberg.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Death Match 2017!

  • William

    The GOP actually used WikiLeaks as a political tool. IE, “news doesn’t care where it comes from”. Now they seem “concerned”https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e9f87147e2bf90c89472a2e0378249fc4ed730ad780392ef0af8abcbee47b1c4.jpg

    • schmannity

      Zombie Richard Mellon Scaife libulz!

      • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

        Scaife is dead? I probably knew that at some point but forgot so thank you for reminding me.

        • schmannity

          Breitbart, also too.

          • Rebekahhmurphy

            Managing director of Google!, is explaining to users to start off “Work at home” method, that People have been doing for about one year now. These days alone, I generated close to $36,000 until now with no more than my home computer as well as some spare time, despite that i have a fulltime 9 to 5 job. Even everyone not used to this, can make $89/per h easily and the earnings can go even higher over time… This is how i started
            !so262c:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs552ShopElectroGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!so262c:….,….

  • Michael R

    How much damaging material has WIkileaks produced on this administration ?
    NONE?

    https://s23.postimg.org/v005d92jv/laugh_in_very_interesting.gif

  • undercover epicurean

    Can we maybe just lock them both together in an airtight room?

    • Me not sure

      With a shower head and no drain?

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Godwin? Is that you?

        • Me not sure

          Trump killed him.

  • Nounverb911

    Someone needs to order 50 pizzas a day for delivery to the Ecuadorean Ambassador in London.

  • schmannity

    It is truly tragic when a New York pussy grabber can’t get along with a Swedish pussy grabber.

    • Me not sure

      The grabber is an Aussie, it’s the pussy twas Swedish.

  • Suttree

    It’s all bullshit cover. The rubes have the knowledge and memories of slime mold. So they’ll eat this shit up and scream about patriotism, while we go full fascist and lock up all of the reporters. (except the ones at brilghtfart and faux)

  • Chadwells
    • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

      priceless!

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    Buckle down, Injuries, buckle down
    You can win, Injuries, if you knuckle down
    If you break their necks (with votes),if you make them wrecks
    You can break the hex, so buckle down

    Make ’em yell, Injuries, make ’em yell
    You can win, Injuries, if you give ’em hell
    It you don’t give in, take it on the chin
    You are bound to win, if you will only buckle down

    If you fight you’ll chuckle at defeat
    If you fight your luck’ll not retreat

    Knuckle down, Injuries, knuckle down
    You can win, Injuries, if you buckle down
    If you mow them down, if you go to town
    You can wear the crown, if you will only buckle down

    • Me not sure

      Do you know if anyone else but me knows that old chestnut.

      • LucindathePook

        I do, I do! Yay, Winsocki!

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        As long as there are guts, determination, and barely sublimated violence –that song will be with us.

        • Me not sure

          Winsocki!

          • Elvis Causticfellow

            I admit, I do not know why the original lyrics urge such a martial attitude on a wind sock.

          • Me not sure

            On Broadway the song was about the fictional Winsocki College, but the movie version changed it to Winsocki Military Institute for an extra martial attitude to stir up war fever during WWII.

          • Elvis Causticfellow

            This is how attuned to sportsball I am–I assumed there must be some school out there named Winsocki.

          • Me not sure
      • Anna Elizabeth

        OT, but thank you again for the “Quantum of Solace” theme video. I is now a huge Fangirl of Jack White. :D

        • Me not sure

          Talented guy.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Amazingly so. And Hot, too. :)

            I’ve listened to tons of his music, I haven’t found one yet that I don’t love.

          • Me not sure

            Oh shit! Styrene! I completely forgot. Give me some hints and I ‘ll try to come as close as I can . Scale? Era?…AFVs?, Planes?, Ships? Cars? I think my car crash scrambled my brain for awhile there.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Oh, no worries Hun. :) Whenever. I like 1/48, 1/35, and I like jets, tanks, cars, ships, anything.

            :)

  • Oblios_Cap

    Why does everything in the Russia treason involve leaking?

    • Suttree

      Shitty plumbers?

      • Querolous

        Same as Nixon’s.

  • Michael Smith

    I feel like Trump is getting rid of anyone who can connect him to the Lufthansa heist. Next thing you know, Layla is going to be playing and Rudy Giuliani will turn up in a freezer

    • Nounverb911

      I settle for Giuliani under the Meadowlands with Hoffa.

    • Jurassic Ezio

      Would it surprise you? I mean Rudy is the one with Mafia ties.

    • ken_kukec

      Guessing Christie will end up in a new Caddy under the George Washington bridge, Johnny Roastbeef-style.

  • Nounverb911

    Needs more flaming bags of dog poo on the embassy steps.

  • Jurassic Ezio

    This is like asking if I’d rather take rat poison or get hit by a freight train.

    • HazooToo

      Well, the train would be quicker if it hit you headfirst, but you could possibly vomit out the rat poison and survive? I’m gonna go with rat poison.

  • Marceline

    Albino Rapist vs. Ferret Face. It’s a WWE episode that writes itself.

  • Chadwells
    • Vincent Ricola

      I can’t be excited or hopeful until I know if he backs Ossoff in Georgia or Mello in Nebraska since that is the most important thing facing our nation right now.

      • Chadwells

        True…but I can’t imagine why he wouldn’t. We shall see.

  • BloviateMe
  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    I think this is how they’re going to actually reward Assange for his service. He’s going to be “arrested” and he’ll be taken to a secure location. He’s going to be given free plastic surgery, a new identity, a new passport (it could be a US passport from some other country,) a really nice cash reward and he’s going to be allowed to go on his merry way.

    • Me not sure

      I think I saw that plot in an old Republic Pictures serial.

    • zerosumgame0005

      too much trouble, more likely he will just vanish from that secure location into the cornfields…

  • Me The People

    Whatever this is it ain’t about the Trump admin suddenly doing something right, you can bet on that. I’m sure they are thinking of this as a stepping stone to going after real journalists.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Agree. We need to get Rachel Maddow and the Washington Post to a safe zone asap.

  • Michael R
  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    Can we pleeez have the ongoing deluge data dump on the entire administration, congressional and senate republicans, their wives, mistresses, children, housepets, and houseplants that would result if Assange is arraigned (never mind convicted of anything?)

    “He who rides a tiger cannot dismount”

    -Charlie Chan

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I’m with you. Except for the not-adult children, pets and plants.

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        Unfortunately we don’t get the option here. If assange gets within spitting distance of american leos we will have a skunk hunt of truly epic proportions, in which the entire world will see what disgusting excsuses for humanity Assange and pretty much every republican past or present is. Assange will see any legal moves against him as a vicious betrayal and respond to the best (worst) of his ability. His cronies have already promised to do this.

  • Michael R

    “World Tomorrow” featuring Julian Assange as host started broadcasting weekly on Russia Today on the 17th of April 2012

    https://s9.postimg.org/hwlzudwfz/assange_world_tomorrow.png

  • Reality Killswitch

    Has someone told Jeff that is not working for Donnie but for the people?

    • Contemplative Ron

      Yes, but he had his fingers in his ears and couldn’t hear them.

  • LegionOfDo

    Assange wouldn’t have helped them with Hillary without first having secured damaging information about Trump as insurance to prevent them from turning on him. This is most definitely about something else.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Much as I would love to see Assange in a Swedish prison, I can’t see that the US has much of a case against him, unless they really want to make it illegal to publish leaked stuff. And that’s one hell of a Pandora’s box to open…

  • MynameisBlarney

    What do y’all think?

    Are teh rooshan trolls still trolling?

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10028955704

    • TJ Barke

      Nyet, comrade, is not trolls, is great patriots of US of America!

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Not true, Buckaroo. Every poster as American as Apple Cake. What a Country!

    • Vincent Ricola

      According to all the fuss around “Dem infighting” in the past month, I’m going with yes.

    • Suttree

      That’s why I never comment here. I know everyone.

    • Lamashtar

      I think it might be partly keyword based. Saying particular words summons them. Wonkette might have few devoted to Democratic division tho.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    I’m going with that last one, because I have no doubt Assange is completely dispensable to TrumpCo. One problem I see, though, is with this part
    Maybe Assange has all the pee hooker tapes. WHOA IF TRUE! If he were to turn on Trump, oh boy, that could be bad news! Better arrest him now!
    Because if Assange has the Pee-Hooker Tapes™, he was given them for a reason, by PootyCo, and since Pooty-Poot is was SMRTer than Trump, iffen I was Trump, I’d think twice before letting Assange’s trove loose in the world, because it just might piss all over him…

    • Lamashtar

      Anything Assange has, the Russians already have anyway.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • jesterpunk

      I am not sure about that, I had a problem with so called Doctors diagnosing Hillary during the election without actually examining her. I would say the same thing about this, you really cant diagnose someone without seeing them in person and just trying based on public statements is pretty irresponsible. Dont get me wrong Trump does fit a lot of the standard definitions but its still irresponsible to diagnose him like that he could just be an asshole who only cares about himself.

      • MynameisBlarney

        You and your decency and logic!

        PAH!

      • redarmyzombie

        Are you saying it’d be *irresponsible* to speculate? Hogwash!

        • jesterpunk

          It would be irresponsible for a doctor to speculate and publish it as an actual fact if they havent seen him in person in their office.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        I tend to agree, and there will be a blowback on these guys for their overreach. Better to just let normal everyday Americans notice that themost powerful man in the world is nuttier than a shithouse rat.

      • Vincent Ricola

        Also, too, if he’s mentally ill then I’ll feel bad about calling him all those names like “asshole” and “orange pussygrabbing russian agent from hell,” so I’m going to wait for further medical evidence before stopping my regularly scheduled Trump hate.

        • jesterpunk

          He can still be an asshole and an “orange pussygrabbing russian agent from hell,” even if he does have a mental illness.

          • Vincent Ricola

            Sure. But I’ll feel bad about making light of it if there are untreated physiological reasons for his behavior.

            Not that his behavior isn’t damaging either way, it’s more about how I approach things morally than how I approach Donald Trump’s behavior.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            You are a better person than I.

          • Vincent Ricola

            Not really, I was raised with a bunch of Catholic guilt is all.

          • jesterpunk

            That makes more sense now.

          • Suttree

            Nah, he’s been an asshole his entire life. Feel free to hate.

        • efoveks

          He still knows the difference between right and wrong. That said, your feelings of guilt are misplaced. You are a truly decent person though, for feeling reticent.

      • snark-lurker

        i donut agree. physical v psychological have nothing in common. one may affect the other, but they are totally different–in diagnosis, it’s like comparing a master-mechanic to head librarian.

      • HazooToo

        I agree. But he’ll never be professionally examined. And until he is, all of his bullcrap must mean that he is just a spiteful, vicious, stupid little insulated bastard, who is purposefully wrecking the country and is too dumb to learn how to do the job. I am okay with assuming that, but we’ll see how quickly his lawyers rush to claim he’s “unfit to prosecute” if he’s ever brought up on charges of treason.

        • jesterpunk

          His old lawyers testified they have to meet with him in pairs because he is a lying sack of shit. But those where also bankruptcy and business lawyers, cant wait to see what his new lawyers claim.

          http://www.rawstory.com/2016/10/trumps-own-bankruptcy-lawyers-say-he-lies-so-much-they-could-only-meet-with-him-in-pairs/

          • HazooToo

            And yet, when Trump gives his rallies, dozens of people are present and they still can’t fit it into their thick skulls that the thing he says in public is not the thing he does or says in the White House. I just can’t fucking deal with that level of stupidity and willful blindness.

          • jesterpunk

            Oh they have that part covered, they claim you cant take Trump literally or seriously except when you can.

            https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/take-trump-seriously-and-literally/2016/11/16/cbdcf2c8-ac25-11e6-8b45-f8e493f06fcd_story.html

          • HazooToo

            He says what he means, but he didn’t mean it like that. So why did he say it like that if he says what he means? Jesus fucking christ.

          • jesterpunk

            Their answer is because it pisses off liberals. Yes they act like little kids who just want to piss someone else off.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            I think many of these folks stick with Trump to protect their own ego. It is hard to admit you are wrong. Especially if it will cause you to face ridicule.

          • HazooToo

            That’s true, but a grown adult will do it anyway. And they even have a built in defense! Trump lied to their faces! They could just point at him and scream “LIAR!” and the press will bend over backwards to comfort them and ask them about their fee-fees! But still they cling, like fetid little dingleberries on a traitor’s ass.

          • aureolaborealis

            I used to work for someone who did that. A toxic young ‘wunderkind’ who got Peter-principled into management. We all got to the point that we would ostentatiously take notes during any conversations with her. Then we had to start sending summary emails to head off crazy “interpretations” of what was said. Then she started sending pre-emptive emails after meetings “confirming what we’d agreed on,” which always included stuff that we hadn’t agreed on, and often included stuff that wasn’t even discussed in the meeting.
            All senior staff have left. She carries on, mostly because of turmoil in management at the level right above her, where even though some folks figure out she’s a disaster, they inevitably move on before mustering the will to solve the problem.
            I’m sure there’s a future in politics for her.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Ethically and legally you can’t render a diagnosis without an exam. But you don’t need a weather man to know which way the wind blows.
        Symptoms can be described, behaviors can be documented.
        If you see someone on a street corner waving a sword in one hand and a box of Ritz crackers in the other while he curses God, you are justified in crossing to street to get away. You don’t need training in the DSM to know something is unusual and possibly dangerous.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Don’t the dangerously mentally ill deserve representation too?

      • TJ Barke

        Not like this…

      • BadKitty904

        They’re already wildly over-represented, thanks to the Republicans.

      • efoveks

        GOP: “We let them pack heat instead. Cheaper for everyone and it keeps our government small.”

      • Paul

        Of course. They are served well by the republican party.

  • Jenny

    Nobody wins.

  • C4TWOMAN

    Just going after him has the feel of a reckless, panicky clean up operation. This is a dangerous game. IF Ass-ange has the pee hooker tapes or equivalent, and he thinks he’s done for, he WILL release those puppies, knowing even the people who hate him, like us, will welcome that info with open arms.

    That makes me think the Trumpsters are scared as shit about being strung up as spies. It’s the only thing that would make this risky gambit worth it. Otherwise, they’d just let ASs-ange rot indefinitely.

    But it’s a race. Can they get to Jules before he releases the info? Who would be willing to release anything he gave them?

    .02

    • Me The People

      It will also be interesting if Assange doesn’t react vengefully, doesn’t seem too bothered etc. Not seeing any significant reaction yet.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Right now that makes sense. If he’s really threatened, he needs to stay cool until he knows more, while he makse plans.
        If he’s not, he’s staying cool to let people wonder.
        Definitely a wait/watch and see situation.

        • Me The People

          Ok, but I have trouble imagining him keeping quiet if it were Hillary’s admin doing this.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Of course not. There’s no personal risk there and the Russians and GOP actors had his back. But now he’s got to juggle several things:

            1- The Russian Alliance
            2- whether or not its safe to release anything from his location
            3- who he can trust. Cuz is he’s on outs with Trumpsters/Russia he really burned his bridges….

            This is all dependant on whether this is real or some staged slap fight bs.

          • Lamashtar

            The best part of the speculation is that they all know their communications are being watched. So they might be flying as blind as we are.

          • C4TWOMAN

            At the very least it raises the stakes if they fuck up because they know the whole world is watching.

    • DrBigHead

      I would suspect that wikileaks would release any info they have immediately upon his arrest.

      • C4TWOMAN

        But remember Wikileaks has multiple hosts and a couple of them are based in Russia. I’m not sure even if Julian is ready to turnface, that their Russian “associates” are ready to dump their Trump puppet. ASs-ange might have to-gasp-release his data to the MSM–which effectively would mean giving up his gig as a “radical” iconoclast. It would also mean pissing off the Russians.

        My god, when did we start living in a Michale Critchton thriller?

        • efoveks

          Isn’t that what The Intercept is for? ;)

          • C4TWOMAN

            Maybe. Forgot about that. He’d want to chose someone who “stands up to the Man” *yawn* but isn’t invested in the Russian/Trump show. If nothing else we can find out who is fake scammy media and who is just gullible as fuck.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          The Anncoultera Strain.

        • Lamashtar

          I’ve been telling people, TrumpRussia has turned the entire world into a spy thriller. Everyone we meet (online) might be a enemy spy, pretending to be one of us but trying to twist our plans/perception.

          ..People pay so money for this kind of verisimilitude!

          • C4TWOMAN

            Just remember next time you order a “latte to go”, the countersign is “Blue Fish”. Got it? “Blue Fish”.

    • data_ninja

      Google “wikileaks insurance files”. they’ve had a contingency plan in place for a while. And if I recall, something recent happend with them as well, like an update. That leads me to believe that they’ve been anticipating something soon.

    • Lamashtar

      I have a half-ass theory that this is part of a negotiation with the intelligence community, who reallyreallyreally want Assange. Assange did claim publically that he would come to the US for trial if Manning was released.

      But I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a doublecross on someone, and Assange is either handed over to Sweden by the Brits immediately, or after a US trial.

      • C4TWOMAN

        One one hand the really really want Assange. OTOH, compared to treason charges and Russian espionage, he’s medium potatoes.
        Unless they can prove they’re the same thing. Then yeah, they’d feel justified in a doublecross.

  • Crystalclear12

    You are proposing they are playing 3-D chess. They might be trying but Assange isn’t stupid.

    Trying to intimidate someone who professionally releases secrets for a living might be a bad idea.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Makes a person wonder what’s in the “insurance file” WikiLeaks claims to have.

    • Jurassic Ezio

      Playing 3-D chess is the excuse wingnuts make for all Trump’s boneheaded moves.

      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        Yes – he’s such a genius that it will take generations for us lesser mortals to realize that all the bluster, whining, grifting and lying were, in fact, visionary.

        Too bad only the cockaroaches will be left to sing his praises.

      • Edith Prickly

        LOL. Playing 2-D checkers would overtax Trump bigly brain.

        • msanthropesmr

          Actually he will have to work his way up from 1d checkers.

          • @MrsRazor66

            But first he needs to be taught how to play in the 1st place….

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        My general retort is that he is actually playing Chinese Checkers. He can’t even keep his pieces on the board.

    • Me not sure

      I, for one, don’t think that being trapped in an Ecuadorian embassy with a pending Swedish extradition warrent is all that smart, but who knows what shit he is sitting on?

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        I’ve been locked up in worse places. He gets to order pizza and Brit beer. I could deal with that.

        • Me not sure

          And those fresh, hot fish ‘n’ chips wrapped in newspaper.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            And a 16 oz can of Whitbread Ale!
            I loved my time over there. The best was 2 weeks in Edinborough. Scots make great Whisky, but crappy food.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            My daughter says that if she ever goes back to the UK, she’s packing a bottle of hot sauce to mask the blandness of the food. When I went, I ate mostly ethnic food, the best being lamb shanks from a halal restaurant. I di have the English Breakfast once, so I consider myself covered.

    • canes_pugnaces

      Trump can’t even play checkers. 3D chess is what baffled, moronic conservatives use as an excuse when Trump betrays them, and they can’t wrap their minds around it. Ie: He didn’t just make up the story of the armada, he was playing 3D chess with Jong Un to make him believe the Navy was on the the way, brilliant.

      Instead of: The president has dementia.

  • canes_pugnaces

    So much speculation, so little time. My guess: whatever evidence once existed, is long gone.

    • proudgrampa

      In today’s world, evidence is never truly “long gone.” If it’s really there, someone will find it.

      • Lamashtar

        Gonna be tough to get permission from Russia to inspect the servers.

  • Suttree

    It also is probably because Assange has damaging info. Turnipers love to scream fake news about everything that doesn’t praise the glorious leader. So now they can just ignore anything from wikileaks.

  • Raan
    • efoveks

      Yep, just get the popcorn, sit back & enjoy the show..

  • snark-lurker

    mebbe Jules has nuttin damning and is only bluffing

    • Contemplative Ron

      A strong possibility.

  • Edith Prickly
  • canes_pugnaces

    I have never been locked in a few small rooms for years at time, and am hoping to miss that pleasure, but my guess is that Assange has gone mad. He certainly betrayed every principle he had when he crawled into that rancid sack with Putin and Trump.

    • HazooToo

      It’s not entirely solitary confinement, since he has access to all of the comforts of life, including people to speak to at any time. It’s more of a self-imposed house arrest, except that it’s NOT HIS HOUSE, and he may hopefully be evicted sooner rather than later. I sincerely hope that the Brits are waiting for him with handcuffs, and that he quickly becomes familiar with actual involuntary detainment.

    • Me The People

      He was never ‘right’, IMO. He’s an obvious narcissist and very likely a rapist as well, right from the start.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Playing information god for sketchy world leaders, while Pamela Anderson brings Whole Food snacks on her regular visits and US media begs for interviews, has to be a serious ego fuck.

  • MynameisBlarney

    So…this just happened…
    There’s a bloodied and disoriented guy down the block, next to US1 doesn’t know what happened or why he’s there, and it took them 5 minutes to get him in the ambulance with 3 cops and four EMT’s.
    I think the gurney was stuck or something.

    • HazooToo

      Jesus, I hope he ends up okay!

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah. Me too.

        • HazooToo

          If you find out more later somehow, give us a heads up? That shit is weird.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Will do.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            No, not really. It happens multiple times every day in our great country. Could be mental illness, could be drug abuse, could be he was mugged, could be a result of a crime of passion, could be a hit and run. Could be a combination.

          • HazooToo

            I maintain that common things can also be weird. But yeah, you’re still right.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            You are too. It happens a lot, and is still upsetting. We never hear about these things in the news because fatal car wrecks and murders get all the press.
            Any news from your brother as to what happened?

          • HazooToo

            Not actually a blood-brother, but I’ve wonk-dopted him. Nothing yet, but if it doesn’t end up in the news, that might be a good sign. Weirdness-as-usual, with the poor guy hurt, but not permanently injured, and getting helped.

    • BadKitty904

      Wth?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Dunno.
        It was in front of an auto repair shop, and my brother happened to be there because the Mac Tool truck was there, I asked him what happened, and he said the dude looked like he was beat up pretty bad.

        • BadKitty904

          Yikes.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Good gravy. Maybe he was in an accident. Hope that works out ok.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      I’m glad you didn’t diagnose him, cause that would be wrong.
      I hope he gets the help he needs.

  • Who do I root for? Here’s the ideal scenario:

    Assange realizes he’s been burned. He dumps or has already dumped all of his info into a dead man’s drop. He is arrested, shipped off to Sweden, convicted of rape and thrown into jail for the rest of his life. The information is posted online detailing Russian ties and spies within the Trump administration. Trump, his kids, and lots of Republican cronies end up in the hoosegow on treason charges. The GOP fractures and is no more.

  • Crystalclear12
    • HazooToo

      Is it just me, or does she look like Carrie Fisher’s twin?

      • MynameisBlarney

        A little bit. Maybe a cousin?

        • HazooToo

          Maybe. It’s just so eerie, but in a good way!

    • MynameisBlarney
  • BadKitty904

    Well, here it is, another Friday in Spring, at last!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67qi-AxK8jA

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Is all of Laibach’s stuff that… laid-back?

      • BadKitty904

        Heavy mellow, maaan

  • YoBunnyBunny
    • Mumen Rider Justice CRASH!

      Thanks to this GIF I wound up on youtube somehow and now my afternoon is shot. Thanks a lot.

    • aureolaborealis

      Getting knocked out is never good for you, but the arm movements on the guy to the right make me nervous for his brain health.

  • Bitter Scribe

    If he were to turn on Trump, oh boy, that could be bad news! Better arrest him now!

    Except that doesn’t really make any sense. If they did try for a pre-emptive arrest, all they would do is give Assange an incentive to disgorge any dirt he has on Trump. That way Assange could claim a biased prosecution. It’s more logical to keep prosecution as a threat, a sword of Damocles to keep Assange silent.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    The first two bullet-point points are dead on. That last bullet-point point ain’t it. There’s no arresting Assange “before” he can release any intel on Trump. He’s a crafty motherfucker.

    If they’re going after him, this is just another example (even though Assange is actually guilty of something) of blame-shifting, scapegoating, and SQUIRREL!

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Vincent Ricola

      They’re trying to set up their stooges for slaughter. Until they add Bannon, Kushner, Ivanka, Sessions, ect to that list, I’m calling shenanigans.

    • BadKitty904

      Old-Republicans Problems…

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      It doesn’t bother his base that he was a clueless idiot surrounded by Russian stooges, and had no idea the whole time.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Nope, not even a little bit.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    There are rumors out there on the internets (rumors from James Comey saying it out loud) that Assange is sitting on SHITLOADS more information than he’s released, and that could include compromising information about the current administration.

    If so, and the dickhead has still not released it despite the horrors coming from the White House on a daily basis, than Julian Ass-anger deserves everything he gets FFS. Asshole.

  • Mumen Rider Justice CRASH!

    I’m not clear why he’s being harbored against a rape charge. Dafuk, Ecuador?!

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I think they’re tired of his bullshit too, but don’t want the blowback from evicting him. Damned if, damned if not.

  • Shoto
    • HazooToo

      I’m not gonna be able to celebrate a single jerkbag at Fox getting fired for harassment until Fox News itself is completely shut down. Christ.

      • Shoto

        It’s being rumored that there are more firings coming at Fox Fearotainment. If federal and state law enforcement and regulators step in, there will be further housecleaning. Further, I doubt the stockholders are any too happy about the $Millions that have been paid out over the years to cover up this shit. With any luck, Shine will be gone, along with the execrable psychopath Jesse Watters, and a host of others. (Hi Doocy and Kilmeade!)

        • HazooToo

          I want them all gone. They’ve turned Fox News into a cult, encouraging isolation from other news sources and even family members who don’t agree. They’re as responsible for Trump as the Russians, and they need to gtfo.

  • BadKitty904

    Sessions is just stupid/stubborn enough to bull ahead with harassing Assange and Assange is just spiteful enough to release what he’s got on the Russo-Republican coup in retaliation.

    It’s a win-win for America!!1!

  • JMP

    This seems like a good follow-up to bombing Syrian air strip in a way that did no significant damage to al-Assad’s warmaking capabilities, putting up a show of interfering in the interests of Trump’s co-conspirators in fucking with the election without actually doing anything to harm them.

    • wait! what?

      Maybe bombing the Ecuadorian Embassy’s driveway is next. With no grocery deliveries Julian will lose by attrition.

  • great. So. They want to arrest him.
    He gets to say, see lefties? I am not in the tank for Big Trump!
    ANNNDDDD SCENE.

    • BadKitty904

      So, Assange thinks liberals are just as stupid as Republicans?

      • I used to chuckle about that…but I have seen some lefties still shriek and scream that nu uh, he is too our buddy and a totes lefty even though he is an admitted libertarian, really!
        So….yeah.

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    Did the Equadorians turn his internet back on yet?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Yes, they did. Don’t know why.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    I’m sure Assange, being the dick head he is, has a death trigger(?) on all that data.

    “If I don’t txt ASSWIPE to this number, all the data gets published to CNN.”

  • Edith Prickly
    • Shoto

      Charlie nails it, as always.

    • wait! what?

      Unleashing Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III on the Bill of Rights is a ghastly prospect that should be fought at every turn. The only court in which Assange rightly should appear is in Sweden.

  • WiscoJoe

    Just want to chime in to remind you all that this is totally the Democrat’s fault for forcing this to happen but also not doing enough to prevent it from happening which is why liberalism has failed for all time and also argle bargle something about McCarthyism.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      And Bernie! Don’t forget St Bernie! If he’d been the candidate none of this would have happened!

      • WiscoJoe

        Bernie who?

        • Querolous

          Bernhard Goetz?

  • data_ninja

    For all of those interested in what else wikileaks might have, google “wikileaks insurance files”. It’s their contingency plan that has been in place for a while, even before this whole russian broohaha. essentially it’s something to keep them out of harms way, or else everyone gets egg on their face. that’s the theory/threat at least.

    • boyblue122

      insurance against the GOP?

    • I think they are overlooking the simple fact that shit simply does not stick to Teflon Don.
      I hate it, it is not right, but that is the fuckin truth

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        He doesn’t have Reagan’s avuncular charm. Trump is his own worst enemy, and will achieve more to do himself in than anyone else

        • idk, been watching him get away with outrageous shit for decades now. Nothing has brought him even close to down. A few payouts, but nothing down.

          Edit: Also, props for avuncular :D Forgotted how fun it is to say that out loud. Gonna annoy my co workers with it now

          • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

            He’s playing in a different league. It’s one thing to be head of a family owned company with money and lawyers to insulate you. It’s another to be in government. He may never go to jail for his misdeeds, but I could see him being forced to resign or ending his first term in disgrace.

        • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

          Also, Reagan was legitimately elected by a good margin of the pop vote. Hell, even a lot of Dems liked him, and not in the “well, yeah, I voted for him” sense. The only “friends” Trump has are wearing Lipton tea bags on their made-in-China tricorns…

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Did that Google and the first return is a Torrent file. Seeing that, per Wikipedia, the file was originally created in 2010, there is no telling what jewels and gems are in it? How many times its been downloaded and who has it. Interesting. I would also bet that Beauregard has no idea it exists, or doesn’t think it would hurt them.

      • puredog

        I will wait to download a torrent of Wilileaks material to my hard drive until I have a serious yen to infect it with God knows what.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          I have a different computer that I would sacrifice to that cause.

        • bobbert

          Virtual machines, dude.

  • WiscoJoe

    What’s with this “PAY CLOSE ATTENTION” shit? Can’t we just devolve into nationalistic notions of “Assange is a HERO and can do no wrong for all time” vs. “America fuck yeah kill the traitors when its politically convenient and screw your free speech”? That’s so much easier than paying attention. Ugh, critical thinking and empiricism is so hard you guys!!!

    • Little Doll–MOAMF

      It’s the Liberal Person’s Burden. *sigh*

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Thanks Evan.
    Me, I believe the Trump administration needs to lock up Assange before he releases more anti-Trump info. If they can get him in a US jail they can shut him up. If they can arrest him for espionage they can limit what he testifies about.
    I have to believe Assange has info that will flood the Interwebs if he is arrested. I’m guessing it isn’t just Anti-Trump. It may also be more Panama papers, or something similar.

  • janecita

    I’d forgive Assange for his many, many transgressions, if he grew a pair of cojones and dumped the Trump cache all over the Internet.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      You haven’t been paying attention.

      And there is no forgiveness for things like doxxing donors’ credit card numbers and social security numbers.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Wikileaks did that?

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          Yes, the DNC leaks included social security numbers and full credit card numbers of donors.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Did not know. I have not been paying attention to Wikileaks.

      • janecita

        I have been paying attention. An if Assange had the goods to bring this administration down, I’d want him to publish them. Unfortunately, I think that he has jack squat on Trump and co.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          He sees the USA as the great evil despite the fact that if he’d done what he has done with US intel to Russia or China, he’d not be breathing.

          To that end, Trump is the best thing to happen to the USA. He’s on the same page with Russia more or less. If he turns on Trump–which he may do–it’s still up to sources like Russian intel to provide the docs.

      • Regret

        Do you have a link to that story? I would be interested in reading it.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          The emails contain interesting and potentially important political information, but they also include data that is sensitive in a different way. As Gizmodo points out, the data trove is easily searchable for personal information like credit card numbers, birthdays, and even Social Security numbers.

          This isn’t the first time WikiLeaks has recklessly published personal information of innocent civilians, either. Human rights groups such as Amnesty International and Afghan Independent Human Rights Commission have previously requested that WikiLeaks remove names of Afghan civilians in 77,000 classified military documents published online. The civilians were (ironically) collateral damage in the same leak that spurred the “Collateral Murder” video obtained by Wikileaks.

          Exactly why Wikileaks decided not to redact the private information of unsuspecting Americans remains unclear. We’ve reached out for comment and will update as soon as we hear back.

          http://gizmodo.com/wikileaks-just-published-tons-of-personal-data-like-a-b-1784140603

          • Regret

            Thanks!
            :D

  • AndyC316

    Gonna call bullshit — just like the Syria bombing supposedly proving no Trump/Russia collusion (at least according to Trump’s second great disappointment, Eric).

    • AncienReggie

      EVERYTHING proves no Trump/Russia collusion. Except the Trump/Russia collusion.

  • BigCSouthside

    If you are Assange and you have been at this game for years, you have to have some tips shelf shit against anyone who comes after you rigged on a dead man switch to drop in the event something happens, right?

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Yawwn.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Yeah. So?

  • BearLeft

    This has got to be a decoy, as you suggest, put out there secure in the knowledge that Assange will probably die of old age in London’s Ecuadorian embassy … just like Trump’s BS that relations with Russia are at an “all time low.” I would not be at all surprised to learn that Assad’s gas attack and Trump’s response were all choreographed and agreed in advance with US President Putin. As we demonstrated in November (and Fux News has shown for years), you don’t have to be terribly artful to move American public opinion.

    • Apple Scruff

      “If there was anything that Sessions did, it was to validate the fact that there is no Russia tie.” – future Eric Trump quote.

  • hendenburg2

    Okay, so a little bit on the DOJ strategy: They are trying to circumvent 1st Amendment protections by charging Wikileaks and Assange with aiding and abetting the leak of information, aka trying them as accomplices.

    Essentially what they will allege is that Assange/Wikileaks helped encourage/plan the leaking of the data itself. The implication is basically this:
    -> IF wikileaks received the data UNSOLICITED, their actions are covered by the 1st Amendment.
    -> However, if the leaker contacted Wikileaks before obtaining the information, and Wikileaks provided assistance, for example by encouraging their source to take the data, or instructing them on HOW to get the data from secured servers and transmitting it to them, they could be considered an accomplice in the original crime, bypassing any 1st Amendment considerations (because they aren’t being charged for actually publishing anything).

    • Internet Hitler

      Could strategy be to get ‘dibs’ on Assange, thereby somehow keeping him (and his testimony) ‘safe’ from the FBI and Senate committee?

  • puredog

    Well, Wonkette is not only “press” and “spies,” but also too “subversives.” Glad to clear up any misunderstandings there.

    • phoenix00

      Don’t forget “Nasty vile snark mob”

  • Sara F Williamson

    “TinyHands McPussGrab” Woo Boy! Love,love love it. Must not forget . Hope you won’t mind if I might use it? Always with reference to you.

  • whitroth

    This is… bizarre. Unless Sessions wants to lock him away so that he never sees the light of day again…. I mean, is the trial going to be behind closed doors? Because if Assange does go to court, and testifies… maybe he’s got something on Sessions? Or maybe he might talk about how he got the info from Russia, to help Trump, and isn’t happy at being treated thisaway? Maybe he could decide he ain’t going down alone?

    This is like Trumpolini making Susan Rice a story, instead of burying it…. Maybe Sessions isn’t thinking things through, either.

  • pgjack

    I don’t like Sessions but I sure as hell want to see Assange hung out to dry. 30 years in prison would do that antiAmerican SOB some good.

    • Regret

      There is nothing wrong with being anti-American.
      I don’t know if you have noticed, but you are the bad guys.

      We (the rest of the world) can’t trust the USA to not:
      – Torture
      – Imprison without a fair trial
      – Invade other countries

      You haven’t left the top 3 of most evil countries since the start of the cold war.

  • AncienReggie

    “#AlternativeFacts picture where Assange becomes the scapegoat.”

    Just sayin.

  • Moose Lambs

    Assange has dirt on Trump. I don’t believe for a minute there are pics of golden showers, that’s so pg-13. The real scandal would be if the pics are of Trump with his daughter.

    Let’s get real, there won’t be any arrests for Assange. He knows where the bodies are buried.

  • Occam’s 8 ball

    I need a reason to hate Assange. There is no safety for whistle blowers in the US. The evidence is more than circumstantial. I would really appreciate any information otherwise. Privacy was an almost believable myth until our internet activity became for sale. We have to accept that embarrassing, or even illegal activities are now available to police, organized crime, our rivals at the office. Prepare to be blackmailed if there is something there that will disrupt your blissful peaceful life. Do you think Sessions wants him because he is an alleged rapist? The one percent only want to consolidate their power. Did he steal the election from Hillary? I believe she took a dive, circumstantial evidence only. Wikileaks is the only place where secret, but very significant for the teaming masses, information has an outlet.
    I am begging you, how can you say, ‘fuck that piece of shit’?

  • Blackest Noobs

    one is a rapist and the other works for a rapist but like pokemon, we’ll get them all.

Previous articleReturn Of The Two-Headed Trumpcare That Ate Congress’s Brain II: Electric Boogaloo
Next articleGeorgia’s Runoff Election: Let The Voter Suppression Games Begin!