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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

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  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      That most certainly is a dunce KKKap.

    • LesBontemps

      Did this guy even go to law school? Or high school?

  • memzilla Ω
    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Coming soon to the White House: a Celebrity Apprentice reunion, featuring Gary Busey, Gilbert Gottlieb, Lou Ferrigno, Jose Canseco, Star Jones, Cyndy
      Laupner, Rod Blagojevich, and many, many others.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        Little Donnie has to fill all those empty jobs with people he likes and people like him.

    • MongoJustPawn

      I see Trey Gowdy and his banjo! Cool!

  • memzilla Ω
    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      not enough disused toilets

    • folderol

      Not enough pit bulls

  • Nounverb911
    • Michael R

      which is an island in the Pacific !
      Thanks Jeff Sessions and Keebler

  • memzilla Ω
    • Duke

      Triple espresso. Then another… and another…

    • Crystalclear12

      My ritual also involves bacon.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Wait….not judging, but is that enema quote from Chafed Ass for realz? XD

    • Nounverb911
      • Saxo the Grammarian

        Colonics are big in Utah?? Who knew????

      • Anna Elizabeth

        “You sure this is standard practice for a Lacrosse coach?”

      • Mary Sandoras

        Clearly not enough enemas since he’s still full of crap.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        On the plus side, I now know what to say the next time Mormon Mishies knock on Muh Door.

        • Old Man Yells at Cloud

          I have always found “Please get off my property before I call the Police” works pretty well.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            That’s a good idea. :)

      • An Outhouse for the Resistance

        Dude, it’s not a fetish if you tell everyone. Keep your kink to yourself.

      • PubOption

        I understand that coffee enemas are a thing. Are they permitted for Mormons?

        • puredog

          Coffee enemas are not a good idea.

    • MynameisBlarney
      • Anna Elizabeth

        XD

  • MynameisBlarney

    Happy Earth Day, ya fargin’ bastages!

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10028958599

    • Duke

      Thanks!

    • JohnBull

      This is the day every hick, rube, and doofus south of I-80 rolls coal, right?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Don’t remind me.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Thanks, although isn’t it technically tomorrow? Earth Day is also my wedding anniversary, so I try not to get those things wrong. But sometimes, when I eat chili, I forget details…

      • Oblios_Cap

        Alex, is that you?

  • Michael R
    • schmannity

      Begala referred to them as the White Trash Mount Rushmore.

    • schmannity

      Donald and Melania Trump: Both pussy grabbers

    • JohnBull

      A lot of boobs in one pic, even for me.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      That’s perfect.

  • Nounverb911
    • therblig

      i forget, is power the ultimate aphrodisiac or the ultimate emetic?

    • Michael Smith

      They’ve got a few other things in common as well.

    • PubOption

      Would also apply to Roger Ailes, Cyril Smith, Leon Brittan…
      Looks like you are on to something.

  • Michael Smith
  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
    • therblig

      trumpy must be working very hard indeed, to deserve so much time off.

  • dslindc
    • JohnBull

      To quote Mr. Noblet: God DAAAAMMIIITT!

    • therblig
    • Oblios_Cap

      They should give Sessions a tour of Hawaii. A helicopter tour of Mauna Loa would be cool; just make sure to tilt the helicopter way over so that he gets a good view of the caldera.

      • President Trump wants to keep The Money Pit. So much for fiscal conservatism. Spend money on meaningless and bad imagery just to fulfill his desire to spend more taxpayers money on waste.

        Fortunately for the Donald, he inherits an America that is doing better than ever. Thanks to Obama, we have record unemployment numbers, record stock market highs, low gas prices, legalized gay marriage, low health insurance costs (mine is less than 100/month thanks to Obamacare), low car insurance costs (mine is just 25/month from Insurance Panda), low mortgage rates, high consumer confidence, legalized marijuana (almost), and more personal freedoms than ever before!

        Trump, on the other hand, picks another ignorant right wing fascist with mental health issues for his administration. We are in trouble, America!

      • Rebekahhmurphy

        Managing director of Google!, is explaining to users to start off “Work at home” method, that People have been doing for about one year now. These days alone, I generated close to $36,000 until now with no more than my home computer as well as some spare time, despite that i have a fulltime 9 to 5 job. Even everyone not used to this, can make $89/per h easily and the earnings can go even higher over time… This is how i started
        !so262c:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs552ShopElectroGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!so262c:….,……..

  • Thaumaturgist

    We agreed yesterday that we’re going to call Jared Secretary Kushner NOT PRESIDENT KUSHNER,!!!!!1!!!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Trump this morning on the new&improved “Zombie Trumpcare” charade:
    “We’ve taken a great bill and made it better. It’s getting better and better. It’s going to pass. Believe me. It’s great and it’s getting better. Believe me.”

    (*Translation: More people will get fucked over by this new abomination. People with pre existing conditions will have choices they CANNOT afford and so will lose their coverage very quickly. It also gives much more money to the richest 1%. This isn’t like our first shit sandwich; it’s our first shit sandwich on steroids. )

  • Mary Sandoras
  • Chadwells
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Nounverb911
    • Lance Thrustwell

      What irritates me about the whole First Amendment/Campus-Snowflake kerfuffle around Coulter and Yiannopoulos is that they’re not serious thinkers, so it’s a bit inaccurate to say that a “perspective” is being “suppressed”. They’re essentially shallow provocateurs masquerading as political pundits.

      • Mike Steele

        Lady MS: Still say, no problemo. Let ’em speak. Everyone, everywhere. Their evil will ultimately reveal itself, as they can’t seem to stop spewing – witness Spicer, Trumptwitter, MSM spoxpersons, etc.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Oh sure, no argument here. It’s just that the sham nature of their presentation makes defending their “right to speak” seem like such wasted effort. It’s a little like trying to convince the cops not to arrest the homeless guy on a soapbox babbling conspiracy theories while masturbating under his raincoat –
          it seems kinda pointless.

          • Mike Steele

            If Ann & her ilk think an audience at Berkeley will advance her cause, then – in the immortal words of Evan Hurst –
            bless her heart. She is scum, and the more clueless millennials who witness this, the better.

          • puredog

            You win the Simile of the Day award.

          • Mike Steele

            Yeah, catch your drift, but recall ACLU defending Nazis in Skokie. Ann, of course, doesn’t need a rights group to defend her, as she pukes her bile at will w/o asking permission. Cannot wait for the Berkeley folks to give her a taste of town hall hospitality:)

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      It’s almost as if they don’t know how free speech works.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Waitaminit – When you say, “Jones was cheating on his wife who was a masseuse named ‘Enya’ ” should that indeed be “who was”, or did you mean to say “with”?

    If the latter, did she sing along to multitracked vocal-harmony New Age songs while spanking his monkey?

  • Thaumaturgist

    Just because you have a city ID card doesn’t mean Chicago cops can’t beat your head.

    • Nope. One step forward, two concussions b…

    • phoenix00

      A United Airlines boarding pass, on the other hand……

  • Bill D. Burger

    “If you don’t have a seat at the table it’s probably because you’re on the menu.”
    ___ Elizabeth Warren

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2f5a656a3f742f3b5a121ef67196857c79e82a8bb1aa1c3336daa974587fb8f5.jpg

  • The Justice Department might level new charges against Wikileaks and Julian Assange

    Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it, Julian?

    • Two Words: “Pee Hookers”

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      The best thing to do is to keep the threat of charges going so Julian has to spend the rest of his life in that embassy. It saves the tax payers the cost of a trial and prison but has the same effect.

      • bupkus231

        Ecuador’s eventually gonna get tired of his ass…

  • Nounverb911

    Oh well, this just happened, enjoy the protests Annie.

    https://twitter.com/NYDailyNews/status/855391171320983552

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Anna Elizabeth

      *That* shall be a day long remembered.

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      I wish I could be there. It’s gonna be a riot I am sure.

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        There’s a better way to handle this. Just make sure nobody actually GOES. A huge, empty theater…maybe 2 or 3 hillbillies in the 2000 seats. Crickets take the other 1998 seats. And no protesting. Coulter would go fucking ballistic.

        • phoenix00

          I’d just stick her in a closet. Or a chem lab.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Yellerduck

      Don’t give them any ideas.

      • Contemplative Ron

        I doubt they needed the help. I’m sure BillO has been thinking about 2020 for a while now.

        • puredog

          I could see him reacting to his Fox ouster in a manner similar to Donnie’s reacting to his WHCD skewering: “I’ll show those muhfuhs.”

    • folderol

      Oh, cripes….

  • Vincent Ricola

    Oh my, this Alex Jones courtroom drama is a gift that keeps giving.

    “He also took the occasion to call out Stephen Colbert for “making fun of
    me this week” and asked whether or not Colbert “brings his character
    home to his kids.”

    “How this plays with the seven female jurors could spell trouble for Jones.”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    • Bill D. Burger

      And yesterday, in one of the greatest moments of irony in the history of jurisprudence, Jones snapped at the lawyer questioning him: “Have you no shame?”

      Irony meters exploded around the world.

    • Contemplative Ron

      As I recall, his kids LOVE ‘the other Stephen.’

  • LesBontemps

    a masseuse named “Enya” who offered “private sessions.”

    Enya Wendo?

    • YoBunnyBunny

      OH, STOP IT!!!!!!!!!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Oh my, that’s {pant} good.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      If I asked you for double entendre, would you give it to me?

      Wait, that belongs in the Chaffetz post. Enya Wendo, out-you-in-do.

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    In light of Cal being home of the Free speech movement, canceling the seance by Skeletor was wrong. The right thing to do is for those who booked her to lose their shirts because no one bought tickets. The right loves the “Free hand” of the market, so use that free hand slap them across the face.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      I don’t mind Coulter speaking anywhere but she should be booked as an insult comic not a serious public commentator.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I certainly wouldn’t listen to het hateful diatribes.

        • cleos_mom

          Especially when the “heard one, heard ’em all” aspect is factored in.

    • bupkus231

      “…because no one bought tickets.”

      The only problem with that is that some right-wing “dark money” group would likely buy up all the tickets and distribute them free ( to the “right” people, of course ) – the same scam that allows so many right-wing author’s screeds reach the “bestseller list”….

      “Free hand”, my ass.

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    “President Trump … worked for several weeks … to secure the freedom of Aya Hijazi, 30, a U.S. citizen, as well as her husband, Mohamed Hassanein, who is Egyptian, …. Trump dispatched a U.S. government aircraft to Cairo to bring Hijazi and her family to Washington.”

    where her husband was apprehended by ICE and deported back to Egypt.

  • BMW

    If this Canada trade war includes a Bieber embargo, he might be onto something.

  • Crystalclear12

    Assange, honey, might be a good time to start shopping for a deal.

    • cleos_mom

      Maybe Doctor Stein and Saint Bernard could help out.

  • Nounverb911
    • Bill D. Burger

      And irony abounds in that they will be the biggest losers. And the new bill would ensure that many, many more could not afford and would therefore lose their coverage.

      • Crystalclear12

        But, hey, the survivors will vote Democrat.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Actually, there’s almost no end to how much you can abuse folks and still fool them. There’s a whole lot of abused wives out there who can attest to it, and history shows us what the Jews put up with prior to WWII…

          • What is that quote about how Republicans will tell you the others are the bad guys and keep picking your pocket?

          • puredog

            President Lyndon B. Johnson once said, “If you can convince the lowest
            white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re
            picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll
            empty his pockets for you.”

          • phoenix00

            “Government has 10 cookies. Republicans takes 9, and convinces the base that the Liberals are stealing the last one.”

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Wait, Trumpcare will turn everyone into Anne Coulter?

      • PubOption

        Well, they won’t be able to afford both food and medical care.

  • Yellerduck

    For a second, I thought that was a leopard eating somebody’s face off.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Alex Jones’s custody battle is quickly becoming the trial of the century after it was revealed that Jones was cheating on his wife who was a masseuse named “Enya” who offered “private sessions.”

    It appears that this story will have a happy ending!

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Is there a slight editing correction required? Or maybe not, but I assume Enya was the side-action and not the wife.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I love how he lives on nothing but barbecue chili, and bile, but tries to cut down on his drinking because it makes him “fat”. Dude…

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I inquired about that earlier but Dominic didn’t address it directly. Yes, I think Enya has the soothing professional touch.

    • Bill D. Burger

      “…a happy ending.” Enya? ___ “Oronoco Flow” comes to mind?

      Eww…just made myself a little nauseous.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Orinoco Spurt?

      • phoenix00

        Sail away sail away sail away….

  • Mary Sandoras

    After reading Trumpcare V2.0, it looks like screw the poorz even more, with a vengeance. It throws optionally (state waivers) those with expensive health care needs into underfunded states high risk pools.

    The bill looks like, “well we just can’t decide, so we’re gonna give you all these waivers and the states can come up with their own version of screw the needy.”

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Hearing about Jason Chaffetz’ numerous enemas and his seeking a “television relationship” is not exactly how I envisioned starting my day.

    • Salmon River Libby

      I would prefer not going visual on that one.

    • Randy Riddle

      The only thing missing from the current GOP scandals is Japanese tentacle and school girl sex.

      • phoenix00

        That’s for us coastal elites.

  • Doug Langley

    Krugzilla has a nice comment on The Return of Trumpcare (apologies if someone already posted):

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/21/opinion/the-balloon-the-box-and-health-care.html?_r=0

    • Lance Thrustwell

      There are almost no conservative writers who can approach the kind of simple clarity you see from Krugman, Chait, Taibbi or many other liberal columnists. The closest they can come is maybe Douthat, Salam or Frum – and to the GOP base, those guys are RINOs!

      • YoBunnyBunny

        It’s amazing how conservatives have literally destroyed themselves from within, it’n it?

        • Contemplative Ron

          It’s the quest for purity, and the definition of what ‘purity’ IS.
          Annoyingly, it’s not keeping them out of power.

          • YoBunnyBunny

            Annoying, yes, it is…

  • Mike

    Jones’ only chance at ever seeing his kids would improve if he just changed his plea to insanity…

    • phoenix00

      He doesn’t need to plead insanity, he /IS/ insanity.

  • wait! what?
  • YoBunnyBunny

    I’ll say it again: When TrumpCarev2.0 gets murdered in the crib just like it’s older brother, it will solidify (oh, who the fuck am I kidding?) what a colossal fuck up the Trump Administration is.

    First the Muslin travel bans, now healthcare. Getting their asses handed to them twice is an interesting legacy for them to create for themselves.

    • Oblios_Cap

      they need to gut it so that they can finance their tax cuts for the rich.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Gotta make the calls, show up….

      • From Russia with Love

        Yes!

        • LeftyProud

          I guess I am being a little selfish, but I am SO depressed about this asshat and his idiotic supporters. But if we peesist and SHOW up and work, we can win, right? Hold me!

  • Oblios_Cap

    Henry Kissinger is kind of “meh” on President Jared (AKA, “J-Kush”) and told a magazine, “an incoming President is likely to be less familiar with formal structures.”

    And he’s talking about a “normal” president, not some fuckstick like Trump.

  • Nounverb911

    So putin has a pee hooker tape on Chaffetz too?
    https://twitter.com/jasoninthehouse/status/855140390185324544

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      No, same tape. Jason was one of the #Pee Hookers.

    • Mary Sandoras

      I don’t get it. Chaffetz mother died of breast cancer at 28 years old. Apparently he failed his lifes lesson in compassion a long time ago.

      • Ryan’s dad died when he was a young AND get got lots of gubmint handouts allowing him to do such things as live and eat and go to school.
        He still wants to kill all those programs dead.
        I am starting to think when they talk about the takers who just want to take and not give anything back, they are talking about themselves

        • Mike

          The only private sector job Ryan ever held was driving the Oscar Meyer Wiener mobile…he’s fed of the gubmint teat his whole life.

    • puredog

      In one of his tweets, Chaffetz whinged that he was sick and tired of being separated for his family for some 1,500 days. I immediately thought: 1,500 nights. Even a loathesome smegma-face can probably git some given that kind of opportunity.

    • HazooToo

      When you are being hammered by people who hate you and everything you stand for, why the fuck would you push your WIFE forward as a shield to hide behind? She doesn’t have anything at all to do with this, but he’s made a public spectacle of her. Is he an idiot, and/or is he expecting people to attack her so he can point to how horrible the left is?

      • phoenix00

        Yes

  • Mike

    Filed under crying over spilled milk…
    Trump calls one of our greatest allies “despicable” but congratulates Ergodan becoming a dictator…

    • Contemplative Ron

      He’s certainly not shy about showing people where his sympathies really lie.

  • DerrickWildcat

    Mr. Jones wants custody of his kids, so his council has to convince the jury that the Alex Jones seen on the show is only a role he is playing and not the real Alex Jones. Guess what Alex Jones does? He posts a video on the front page of infowars to assure his fans that Alex Jones is Alex Jones and he’s not playing a role.

    • Oblios_Cap

      What a maroon!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        A moran, also, too!

        • Oblios_Cap

          A Idiot wrapped in a maroon moran?

    • Mike

      It’s some of that 4D chess we’ve been hearing about.

      • If it is, he is doing it all wrong

      • Khavrinen

        “4D” is not supposed to stand for “Duh, duh, duh, duh”…

  • puredog
    • YayConspiracy

      Here comes Tweety…

  • not_vh

    Ivanka Trump likes to feed her kids the same healthy hippie organic food like every other wealthy yuppie in Manhattan, but Ivanka doesn’t see a need to to tell her dad about pesticides in all the other foods eaten by the icky poors.
    Read more at https://wonkette.com/616037/trumpcare-rises-again-your-wonkagenda-for-fri-april-21-2017#O16xIdXjX0Gz1cgp.99

    because if every one eats healthy, then what is the difference between them and elites, huh?

    • I very seldom hear any of these people wonder outloud why it is cheaper to buy soda than water.
      Weird, right?

      • Al Swearengen

        But I’m sure they think they work “hard”. It was probably strenuous for Ivanka to tell The Help to pack the suitcases for their 2 ski trips this month.

  • therblig

    i’ll see your Mateo, and raise you…FIONA!!!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lC08u_iDibI

    • Persistent Demme

      What a big girl!
      So happy!
      (Tell me again about how awful zoos are, people!)

  • Opiwan

    So all I need to do to get rid of my chronic head pain is to have different people shoot soapy water up my ass? WHO KNEW?

    • Major_Major_Major

      It’s the one weird trick all the republicans are gushing about.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Bob the Wonder Poodle weighs in on the white trash convergence at the WH: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a41aa0c11690c5ad6b726925171e4578ba320ed3dc8965524cbb815e65b76e8d.png

    • Lance Thrustwell

      God damn, that kind of nails it, dunnit.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Seriously, I need not further comment. We’re covered!

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      All the softwood forests in the world could be clear cut, and it still wouldn’t make enough toilet paper for that pair of assholes…

      • cleos_mom

        That’s where a bidet would be helpful but they’d never go for it. Too furrrin.

    • folderol

      Does he ever take that stupid hat off?

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        He did have it off in some of those pictures. Kid Rock didn’t take his off though.

      • Persistent Demme

        He doesn’t want to show how bald he is.
        The Cheeto should give him hair tips.

    • Nockular cavity

      #2 and #1.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Well, give him this. At least Trump is only into other people covered in urine. Allegedly.

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    So Canada is sealing our milk and China is milking our steel?

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    I would love to see a government shutdown today. Where’s Ted Cruz when you need him? Man, how times change.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Yeah, that picture? I think maybe Trump should have participated in some way in the raising of his children, because then he’d realize that unless you put in the heavy lifting, they only really listen when you’re telling them to do something they already want to do. And the smart ones will exact concessions for that.

    • Persistent Demme

      Dread FIL always confused respect with obedience.
      (His children have told me so.)

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Yeah, the first half of the last century was definitely Phillip Larkin time.

  • thewalkindude

    Trump’s lawyers point out that he explicitly urged his supporters against roughing up protesters, following his calls to “get ‘em out of here,” with the plea “Don’t hurt ‘em.” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a43568c7552aae7074a807b8589427d44642bc7db218d6dea21df5dc5ff126a7.png

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The printed words do not do justice to Wilder’s delivery.

      • HazooToo

        ALWAYS the best Wonka. Depp is just… scary.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    What would be badass in that SCOTUS case would be if the lead lawyer for the anti-gerrymandering side made an argument so superbly knowledgeable, so incontrovertibly fact-based and so inarguably logical that it was decisive for at least Kennedy and Roberts. And then in front of the reporters on the courtroom steps, the who-WAS-that-man lawyer steps up for the victorious side, strips off his full-face rubber mask and stands revealed as our own Barry Bamz Obama!

  • onedollarjuana

    I wouldn’t put it past this Congress to kill the government just to get back at Obama. Only problem is that Obama isn’t around to save the country this time.

  • Doug Langley

    It’s Friday! So time for our weekly takedown of The Fountainhead:

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/daylightatheism/2017/04/fountainhead-randian-guide-retirement/

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Ayn Rand: Crazy ass bitch with no understanding of reality.

      • Edith Prickly

        Worst romance novelist EVAR.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Donald can stick his “obey” where the sun don’t shine.

  • If one of those ocelots isn’t named Baboo, the world is an unjust place.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    Ocelot kittens are, officially, the most adorable baby animals in the world.

    • Al Swearengen

      “Baby ocelot explores habitat” Baby ocelot goes out and does 360s around horizontal branches with ease.

    • Persistent Demme

      I don’t know, that wolf puppy yesterday was mighty cute!
      (This is my kind of competition.)

      • phoenix00

        Does this call for a showdown?

      • cleos_mom

        Polar bear cubs would be competitors too; but their stage parents can be a bit inconvenient to have around.

  • The Wanderer

    Kissinger managed to fart words out? I swear, for the past twenty years he’s been auditioning for the part of Mumbles in Dick Tracy.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Even war criminals can hold utter incompetents in contempt, and that’s what Henry the K is doing as these bumbling amateurs take over US foreign policy.

      • The Wanderer

        I think that you are not incorrect.

  • thewalkindude

    Today’s national average price for a gallon of regular unleaded gasoline is $2.41. This price is two cents more expensive than one week ago, 12 cents more than one month ago and 30 cents more than one year ago. The national average is at its highest price this year and has now increased for 20 consecutive days. Pump prices in 43 states and Washington D.C. have moved higher over the last week.

    Thanks, Trump…

    • phoenix00

      “No! Thank YOU!” – Rexxon Tillerson

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Today’s long-distance dedication goes out to ALEX! Enjoy, buddy!

    https://youtu.be/CLZ7CYdWacs

    • YayConspiracy

      Enya, the hamburger bun of music.

  • Alan

    At least we still have baby ocelots. For the time being.

    • Khavrinen

      Probably a good thing for them that most of their habitat is on the other side of that wall tRump’s going to be building…

  • AJ Milne

    (Blinks at ‘Bannon is trying to dig up the remains of Trumpcare/Ryancare…’)

    There’s something oddly… a propos about that guy in particular being the one doing the shovel work…

    And I’d say something cautionary about how this kinda thing always ends, from Lovecraft to the B-movies, but, credit where credit’s due, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone else start their tale with the walking corpse shambling _into_ the graveyard.

    (… and then again, I guess it’s also kinda the middle of the serial, by now.)

  • Lucas Foxx

    Damn it! Where’s my George Soros brain destroying weed?!?!? HOw come Alex Jones gets some and I can’t find any ANYWHERE?!?!!?

  • Bitter Scribe

    The Arkansas execution was the first Supreme Court case in which Neil Gorsuch tipped a 5-4 decision.

    The executed man was mentally handicapped, and his lawyers were trying to present DNA evidence that they say would have exonerated him.

    But remember, Both Sides Do It and Hillary was a terrible, unlikeable candidate.

  • SweetDeeKat

    Squee! Babby ocelots! The best thing I’ve seen all morning. I think now is a good time to sign off. Thanks, Dominic.

  • ltmcdies

    Good Friday morning, Wonketeers….does Justin have to put ships on Lake Ontario and re fortify the Citadel at Quebec City yet.

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • Persistent Demme

      LOVE the tiny hands!
      (Maybe it’ll be a thing!)

  • VirginiaLady

    Ok, so Canada is making steel armor for their cows with Chinese steel, while some cheeseheads can’t sell their milk because of NAFTA. I’ve finally gotten the hang of Mr. Trump’s reality!

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I do not understand why we continue to allow state legislators to make decisions about voting districts. It seems obvious to me, based on so many examples of flagrant gerrymandering in our history that there isn’t room here to list them all, that they can’t ever be trusted to do it properly, and it should be done by an independent non-partisan commission in every state.

  • aureolaborealis
  • Remember the last time we went to war with canada?

    • cleos_mom

      That was during the War of 1812, preceded by an attempted invasion of Quebec during the Revolution.

      No one around who remembers, but none of our warbots wants to mention either incident; we got our butts kicked big time.

  • Blackest Noobs

    so Trump is now trying to dismiss the whole first 100 days standard.

    Hey President Chump….you could start by taking fewer flights to Florida, you asshole.

  • Zyxomma

    Ocelot kitten is cute AF.

    • phoenix00

      Isn’t that future indiscriminate maiming factory gorgeous?

  • Panika MCD

    you guys missed the part about the crazy guy what the FBI and Austin PD caught who had plans to shoot up the Pink Dome? this will not at all change the TX lege’s position on having people roaming the Pink Dome with guns what are not law enforcement even though it violates another state law on a regular basis–you’re not supposed to have a gun within 2000 feet of a school group and they’re all up in that piece.

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