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Justice does NOT wear a grass skirt!

Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions (pardon us while we vomit again) is just plain flobbergummled to learn that a beautifully crafted executive order from the president of these United States can be overturned by some upstart judge. Especially some whippersnapper “federal judge” from an island out in the Pacific that hasn’t even been a state — if it even is a state; has anyone seen its long-form Statehood Certificate? — as long as the president has been alive.

Sessions expressed his wonderment that a mere island stripling could overturn travel ban 2.0 during an interview about fixing the broken federal courts with rightwing radio gabber Mark Levin, who brought the world the “Trump Tower Wire Tapps” story, so you know the Attorney General of the United States has the highest possible standards for truthiness.

After bitching about the “very, very liberal Ninth Circuit,” which doesn’t even know how to law good, Sessions told Levin that the watery upstart in “Hawaii” will surely be vanquished:

We are confident that the President will prevail on appeal and particularly in the Supreme Court, if not the Ninth Circuit. So this is a huge matter. I really am amazed that a judge sitting on an island in the Pacific can issue an order that stops the President of the United States from what appears to be clearly his statutory and Constitutional power.

We sort of know the feeling. We were amazed that a doddleheaded old moron who was too racist for Republicans to confirm to a federal judgeship in 1986 could ever become the nation’s top law enforcer. Strange days, indeed.

Both senators from Hawaii Tweeted their displeasure at A.G. Fudd’s comments:

Not that they matter, since not only are these people from way out in the Pacific Ocean, they’re also Democrats, which means they’re barely even citizens of the United States. And it’s not like Trump has to worry about losing support in Hawaii. Once he can appoint enough federal judges, that little problem might be resolved, too.

Now get to your open threading, you Poi Holloi.


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  • Anna Elizabeth

    I am nows crushing on Senator Mazie Hirono. You *GO*, Grrl!

    • MizzMazz

      Her and Tammy Duckworth.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        *nods* fer shure. Senator Duckworth is a Mimetic Badass!

  • memzilla Ω
    • janecita

      Smart and adorable, perfect combination!

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Smart kid! Liberal in training?

    • Nockular cavity

      Never try to out-lawyer a kid.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    you Poi Holloi.

    I thought we were the cognate scenti.

  • PubOption

    Upfist to Dok for ‘Poi Holloi’.

    • Al Swearengen
    • JMP

      “Poi”, one of those words I know because its’ odd spelling makes it a favorite of crossword puzzle makers; like “oleo” which is apparently an old-timey word for margarine, or how the most famous actor appears to be Rae Dawn Chong.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        And a “nef” is a ship-shaped clock.

      • I like aa

        • Erala Contratista

          Pahoehoe yeah!

      • Shucky Ducky

        This comment, like Red Bull, gives me alar.

    • Internet Hitler

      Dok wins the internats today.

  • JMP

    As Attorney General, shouldn’t Session be a lawyer? Did he not take basic Constitutional Law and learn that the Federal courts have the power to strike laws, and certainly mere executive orders, that very clearly and obviously violate the Constitution?

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Get with the times, man. It’s the Trump Era now!

      • JMP

        He really doesn’t seem to understand the difference between a President and a dictator. Just like his master, come to think of it.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          “It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends on his not understanding it.” (Upton Sinclair)

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Yeah but so many brown people. And they have rights! *gasp*

      Something like that, I imagine.

      • “M”

        That and he took the bar exam in Alabama.

        Which, for example, just ejected its erstwhile (now former) governor and his mistress (who was in charge of suppressing the minority vote) from office.

        So … that.

  • Pilotshark

    not only Democrats, but the birth place of President 44.
    you know the one on his worst days was still head and shoulders above crap.

    • MizzMazz

      Always with dignity and intelligence. That is how I will remember him. I watched one of the videos posted here of his and Michelle’s Easter Egg Roll, and burst into tears. I never knew I would miss him this much.

  • Nockular cavity

    Aloha, motherfucker.

  • mancityRed6

    Is this a thing yet?
    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/04/chaffetz-may-be-leaving-dc-his-term-ends
    “Jason Chaffetz May Be Leaving Office As Early As Tomorrow”

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I must know what the Russians have on him!

      • Mary Sandoras

        Please, let it be pee hookers?

        • Anna Elizabeth

          “Olga, I mer American Buckaroo, head like a Scrotum. He was into Schiesser, like a German Salesman!”

          “Natasha, so grody! Call FSB, make offer!”

        • “M”

          He made reference in the press to enemas.

          And I was like …

          “Wow.”

      • janecita

        I’m scared to find out that it’s a sexual thing. I don’t want to see that!

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          I don’t want to *see* anything, I want to know what it is.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Awwwww . .. I am saddened by this possibility. So very sad. Well, not that sad, really.

    • Shoto

      That’s a tragedy. We should have a moment of silence.

      OK, that’s enough. Now you can point, and laugh, and throw spitballs.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      I can only see two possible explanations and it won’t take long to find out:

      He’s starting a megabucks job on Monday the nature of which is so vital it simply couldn’t wait another day.

      or

      Yooge scandal

      I’ll go for the latter, and I’m inclined to live boy over dead girl

      • Crystalclear12

        That quickly. . . somethings up.

      • He does have out that sort of aura, doesn’t he?

        Reminds me of Jimmy Savile

        • “M”

          It’s that weasel face.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I’m going with “as Chairman of the whatever-it-is committee, he’s seen what’s coming like a tsunami towards the republican party and he’s getting out before the wave washes him too far out to sea.’

    • ariel_gee_398

      He cheated on his wife with a Russian pee hooker on a bed littered with cash he was laundering for the Russian mob? And there’s video?

  • Nockular cavity

    Was it over when the Confederates dissed Pearl Harbor?

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    I took a rose milk bath today and 10/10 would clean all the petals out of the tub again. I smell like expensive perfume and fairies.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      :D Nice!

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        If you get the chance, you should try it! It’s so relaxing and the bath looks like a picture.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I will when I can. :) Our Mizz Mazz told me about bathing with some Coconut Oil and Bubble bath to break it down in the water. Afterwards, my skin is like silk. It’s divine. :)

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            From the ingredient lists I’ve seen all you’d need are some dried rose petals, powdered milk, and a bit of baking soda.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Oooh! Payday then, thank you! :)

          • CindyinEncinitas

            The first time I showered with tea tree soap, it cleaned the shower/tub! That shit is amazing! Smells like turpentine, though.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I’m using tea tree shampoo this month, I adore it. :)

          • CindyinEncinitas

            I get contact dermatitis every time the sensitive side of my arms touch cardboard or detergents and tea tree oil takes it away instantly, and it’s the only thing I’ve found that does.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Oh, I’m glad you found something that works. :)

    • MizzMazz

      I love special baths. A good thing to do is make a giant teabag out of cheesecloth or a nylon and shove the herbs/petals in there, so less of a clean up. One of my favorites was to go to the beach in the morning, collect kelp, bathe with it, then put the kelp on the compost pile. It was a win win.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I bought them in tea bags and both of them exploded (my fault). So then I just enjoyed how picturesque it was.

        • MizzMazz

          It’s a lovely thing, an indulgence that is not illegal, fattening or harmful. I kind of miss the Lush bath bombs with all the flowers and the glitter in them, but they can clog drains. In my old apartment, I had maintenance come up and snake my drain, and all this glitter and flower petals came up, and he growled. “It was probably the kids who lived here last!” I smiled, and thanked him for his work. XD

          • CindyinEncinitas

            When I had a garden and I grew roses I would throw the petals in the bath. Comical to stand up and be covered in roses.

          • MizzMazz

            And it’s softening and soothing. I miss having a garden so much.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            If I think about it I will cry.

          • MizzMazz

            I swear, plants give you so much and ask for so little.

          • janecita

            My 13 year old daughter is addicted to Lush. I’m glad that they don’t make that bath bomb anymore, I don’t feel like unclogging her tub!

          • MizzMazz

            The new ones are just as nice, without the clogging issues. I love the hair care, shower gels, and the moisturizers…it sounds like I still work there, LOL, but they have stuff that just makes me feel great.

          • janecita

            Even their toothpaste is good.

          • MizzMazz

            Not a huge fan of the tabs, but I liked the charcoal and eggplant toothpaste from a few years ago. My mouth felt so clean.

          • So you didn’t go for the 70’s porno movie trope

          • MizzMazz

            He was cute, but not that cute, and he was a friend, so that pretty much squashed any porno tropes. The pizza guy, on the other hand…>:)

    • BadKitty904

      <– ponders how one would milk a rose

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    I mean, what kind of name for a state is “Hawaii”? Huh? Not a good name like Alabama or Mississippi, that’s for sure. *hikes britches, spits*

    • Suttree

      They’ve all had foreign armies in their lands though.

      • tomamitai

        Federal forces in rebellious states aren’t “foreign armies” to anybody but traitors.

  • Chadwells

    Any bets The Rock has a few words for Jeffro?

  • Vecchioivan

    Poi Holloi my ass, I’m a goy from the estoi.

  • janecita

    People at Fox aren’t very happy about Springsteen’s new song, “That’s what makes us great.”

    http://insider.foxnews.com/2017/04/20/bruce-springsteen-calls-president-trump-con-man-protest-song-thats-what-makes-us-great

  • Opalescent Riddles

    Point of order: I was under the impression that it was Attuhney Genrul Jayfuhsson Beauregard Sayssions the THUD!

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      That’s only after you throw him out the window. Onto the carefully placed votecushion, of course.

    • BadKitty904
      • Me not sure

        After the war he lived out his life, pennyless, in a spare room in the basement of a widder woman’s house in Mobile.

      • Me not sure

        After the war he lived out his life, pennyless, in a spare room in the basement of a widow woman’s house in Mobile.

        • janecita

          So nice, you said it twice?

          • Me not sure

            I tried to edit “widder woman” to “widow woman” fearing I had used an easily misunderstood southernism, and Disqus dicked me again.

          • tomamitai

            Even we Yankee olds know the word from The Beverly Hillbillies.

          • Me not sure

            Hoowee!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        “This *is* my war face!”

        • MizzMazz

          It looks like his constipation face.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            XD That too. He’s like Mike Pence that way.

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            Great minds!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Ninja’d! XD

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            He and Pence have the same “constipated look of resolve and badassishness.”

          • BadKitty904

            I’d simply say they look “peevish”.

          • MizzMazz

            The same look a seventh grade teacher tries to give to the kids, and they all laugh their asses off at him.

      • Werewolf

        Attorney Colonel of the Confederate States?

    • Me not sure

      Are you sure that’s not “the C.H.U.D.”?

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    Sessions… what an ass-haole.

  • A minor distraction, or “bloody hell doesn’t time fly”
    https://twitter.com/Shypixel/status/855140684873027584

    • janecita

      She is already better at it than Trump.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        Correcting for the fat ass factor, she has him totally smoked.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Such a low bar, though.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Cuteness at Maximum!

    • TJ Barke

      WHY ARE YOU INCULCATING SUCH BOURGEOISIE TENDENCIES IN THE WONKBABBY!?

    • Dg Hacket

      Already better than me

    • jaspersdad

      An impressive waggle.

  • BadKitty904

    Tough talk from an unconvicted perjurer.

  • Proud Liberal
    • BadKitty904

      Vlad’s certainly getting his rubles’ worth.

      • Proud Liberal

        Also, too, President Obama spent his childhood there. Trump probably wants to go to war with them too.

    • cmd resistor

      Wasn’t Pence in Indonesia this morning?

  • Zonath

    There’s a reason most lawyers will advise clients not to talk (or tweet) about pending litigation, kids…

  • Bill D. Burger

    Jeffy ‘Jugears’ Sissyions: “Lawdy’! All thez’ hea’ non white people a thinkin’ theyz’ as gud’ as us members of tha’ Master Race.”

    https://twitter.com/LawyerRogelio/status/854763057020534794

    • BadKitty904

      Dobby the House (and Senate) Perjurer…

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        You have won one Internet. Where would you like it delivered?

        • BadKitty904

          *purrs*

      • Shucky Ducky

        I award him no socks.

  • BearLeft

    Poi Holloi — Good one, Doc.

  • Vincent Ricola

    I’ll bet young Elmer Keebler wouldn’t be so happy if Hawaii talked shit about his home.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/87c99e5c140e2f26c02d2e116f5d061154cca6b1afdaefb448847a8e1a774fad.jpg

  • Crystalclear12

    So if Cheeto does get impeached. . . what happens to his cabinet?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      For the most part, the Cabinet will stay in place unless there is a major upheaval (Nixon’s Cabinet by and large became Ford’s until he reorganized them in 1975).

      • Crystalclear12

        The Russian compost is pile deep.
        Pence had to know.
        Rumors that both McConnell and Ryan were at best aware, at worst active.

    • jesterpunk

      Depends when it happens and if Pence goes with him. If democrats retake the house in 2018 and Pence is also thrown out I dont think Pelosi would keep any of Trump’s cabinet.

      • Crystalclear12

        President Pelosi.
        Like that.

        • jesterpunk

          Speaker of the house is 3rd in line after the VP. But if Pelosi doesnt want to be POTUS there is no actual rule saying the speaker has to actually be in congress it can be anyone they vote for. So theoretically its possible to have Hillary as speaker then POTUS.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      It probably just stays gold-plated, just like it was.

      • Suttree

        Chop it up with an ax.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I think they’re all guillotined. And when I say “think” what I mean is “hope” and when I say “guillotined” I mean “guillotined, with votes if necessary.”

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    Not all that trenchant, except that any culture that can inspire this cool an act of cultural appropriation has nothing to answer for to some Elmer Fudd-lookin’ racist shitstick, no matter what his job description is:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iW6To74Ntrw

    Note: The humuhumu-nukunuku-a-pua‘a who go swimming by are the state fish of Hawaii.

    • Vecchioivan
      • Elvis Causticfellow

        I have a friend who was in an all-ukulele band named Humuhumunukunukuapua’a. Their name didn’t do wonders for their bookings.

    • tomamitai

      Is it true they recently made Woody Harrelson their state bird?

  • msanthropesmr
    • BadKitty904
      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        OMG. me too!

        • janecita

          Me three!

      • Anna Rompage

        Oh my….

        • BadKitty904

          Exactly.

          Male hula is a Big Deal in Hawaii and it’s…impressive.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Either one is fine with me.

      • LucindathePook

        Now, those are some man buns I like!

  • jesterpunk
  • johnnyangel

    Pffft. What would Hawai’i know about the threat of foreign invaders? I mean, have they ever been attacked?

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Eh. Pretty sure Tulsi Gabbard’s got his back.

    Meanwhile, back at Alex Jones’ trial,

    https://twitter.com/cwarzel/status/855166724274106368

    Um. Maybe? But I think you’re talking about the Army McCarthy hearings.

  • Chadwells

    Pearl Harbor what, Jeffto? You’re such a dumb fuck. Vets gonna be pissed.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    I’ve learned a lot since moving to this island in the Pacific. For instance, “Mele Kalikimaka” means “Jeff Sessions should sit on a pineapple” in Hawaiian.

    • Anna Rompage

      It would not surprise me one bit, if he’s had to make more than one unexpected trips to the emergency room to have his head removed from his ass…

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      How do you say “oh, for fuck’s sake” in Hawaiian?

      • Suse

        Oh la no ka anal ka pono! (per the Google). I did not say anything about buttsechs, yet there it is.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Jeff Sessions.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I thought that was the right way to say “Merry Christmas” to you? Or have I been mis-hearing that song all these years?

      • hendenburg2

        No, “Jeff Sessions should sit on a pineapple” IS the traditional Hawaiian Christmas greeting

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Jeff Sessions arse on a pineapple is the quickest waaaaay to a bright Hawaiian Christmas daaaaay….

  • sadboy

    Well, not all of us hail from the Great State Of Alabama, JB. Some of us folks out here west of the Mississippi are citizens too, in case you hadn’t noticed.

    By the way, why are my fellow Americans from Hawaii being derisively dismissed by someone from a state with a history of secession and violent insurrection against the Union?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Because 150 years later they won?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Not yet, not yet. :)

    • tinker12

      Don’t cha’ just lurv how the same people who are yelling at us to “Get Over It” are still waving around the Confederate flag. FFS!

    • Jamoche

      Jealous that we were a successful sovereign nation once upon a time, because they never managed it.

      • Contemplative Ron

        Funny thing:
        Republic of Alabama, Jan 11 1861 – February 8 1861.

        • Jamoche

          Not even long enough to make it eligible for a Six Flags theme park :)

  • Nick Scroggs

    So instead of the South looking to secede from the union, it’s a Southern attorney general looking to oust a state not his own form the union.

    • Anna Rompage

      (Raises hand) can we be next?

      • Nick Scroggs

        Nuclear fallout doesn’t stay in border lines though.

  • Thiazin Red

    Cleaning is dangerous. I swept out the back patio and scrubbed the whole fridge over the last couple days and I am bruised as hell today.

    • HazooToo

      I take 3d6 sanity damage every time I look at my dining room and kitchen.

      • TJ Barke
      • Thiazin Red

        I’ve conceded the area under the couch. I don’t bother whatever is under there, as long as it stays under there.

        Funnily enough, I’m doing more than my usual cleaning because I’m hosting a D&D session and I’m turning into my mother.

        • MizzMazz

          …but there might be money.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Watch out for that shit under the couch — can you borrow a neighbor’s dog or cat to get in there and address it? It’s amazing how fast that crap can become mobile and sentient…

        • HazooToo

          You need a properly dungeonlike atmosphere. Throw some dust around, and order three pizzas and get two 2 liters of Mountain Dew. No one will be able to see the mess.

    • Persistent Demme

      I once had a full-on EKG work up because I was sore (from cleaning).

  • Good_Gawd_Yall
  • BadKitty904

    It’s EOB Thursday. Let’s see how many more states and nations the “Administration of Amateurs” can insult and/or offend before the weekend.

    • jesterpunk

      Is all of them an option?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Oh, isn’t this now considered the weekend? I thought once the reds retook the White House new rules applied. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/59f0df81628ea7feb5830866315f3a047bba54616984ffea520afdf826dc0ba9.jpg

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I <3 the Dowager.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Me too. Have you seen “shit the dowager countess says” on YouTube?

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Yiss! XD

            Bates and Anna are my faves, but Carson and the Dowager are up there too.

        • Marion in Savannah

          If I live long enough (and, frankly, I’d rather not…) I want to be just like the Dowager. As it is I don’t take shit off anyone, but I do need to work on the killer cutting remark…

          • Anna Elizabeth

            She is a Badass, and often doing what’s best for others. I really relate to Anna (big shoxk, eh?) and she never gives up despite all of the shit she goes through.

      • Thiazin Red

        I just realized how much I want a fan fic where somehow the Dowager Countess, the Queen of Thorns, and Avasarala from the Expanse meet.

        • BadKitty904

          With the Maid of Tarth standing guard…

          • Thiazin Red

            She would be thrilled to meet Bobbie.

        • Marion in Savannah

          No love for that little blonde Targaryan girl?

          • Thiazin Red

            I was just thinking of the older generation. She can be in the sequel.

  • Mary Sandoras
  • MizzMazz

    Been waiting for the appropriate place to share this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MqTOEospfo

    We’re not going to convince the hard core ‘believers’ with facts, and that this is coming from a black man will probably put plenty of people off, but it can’t hurt.

    Neil is right – we grew up at the same time, and there was a respect for scientists and science. It was a good thing. Now? I just don’t know how to reach these people.

    • DrBigHead

      I am convinced that the problem with most science-deniers is that they do not understand that science is a process, and that the scientific understanding of the world can and does change. Religion provides an unchanging certainty that must not be questioned. What these people see as a weakness of the scientific method is actually its greatest strength. Understanding changes as more data are acquired or new analytical tools are developed. That is the very definition of progress.

      • MizzMazz

        And what kills me is the whole idea that changing ideas according to data is a bad thing – flip-flopping. Taking a step back and looking with a critical eye at ancient texts could lead to that, and probably dancing.
        The only way to make advances is to continue to do research and experiment, and develop, but you know that.
        I hate to dumb shame, but those fuckers are the biggest sinners of all – willfully ignorant.

      • MizzMazz

        I like you, DrBigHead!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I really am amazed that a judge sitting on an island in the Pacific can issue an order that stops the President of the United States from what appears to be clearly his statutory and Constitutional power.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8f340148bd26a516d7c051a357a83413c394e1b0bf3672c912c6e35708237eb4.jpg

  • Nick Scroggs

    I think I’ve run out of things to say. The world is just, you got Idahoans trying to block a community college in order to stop “sharia law”, you got an attorney genera saying a state can’t overrule Trump because it’s far away, it’s just, impossible to come up with anything to that.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Don’t forget that Alex Jones is trying to gain custody of his kids by saying he smokes a lot of pot and can’t remember things good when he eats too much chili.

      • Nick Scroggs

        When did the pot thing come out?

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          About two posts ago.

        • Crystalclear12

          4/20, of course.

        • Mary Sandoras

          I think it was this morning at his trial.

      • Mary Sandoras

        And it’s George Soros fault.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Sessions is an almost incalculably dumb dumbass. It’s not that he’s from Hawaii, it’s that he’s a FEDERAL fucking judge, you fucking stupid inbred fucker.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      4/5, needs more fucks.

      • Crystalclear12

        And more caps lock. But stuck the landing.

        • puredog

          Good_Gawd must be a Russian judge. 10/10.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      The correct spelling is IGNINT.

      • Werewolf

        Iggernant.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Oh dear. Kissinger wrote Jared Kushner’s Time 100 entry.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b8197bee328e65b120a3844d7834603ab136175e9762e7aa6430e59af20654fb.png

    Let me try: For as long as I’ve known him in passing, Jared Kushner has been bilaterally symmetrical and very popular with the political reporters of the New York Times…

    • BadKitty904

      …and very popular with the political reporters of the New York Times…

      …as long as their wives don’t find out.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Ms Haberman is married to a man.

    • janecita

      War criminal, motherfucker said what?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        “At least I’m better than this guy.”

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      There’s a ringing endorsement if I’ve ever read one. Hee hee hee…

    • Nick Scroggs

      It’s guys like Henry Kissinger and his descendant policy makers that partly inspired me to think “let’s just get rid of nation-states.” Just saying, doubt it could happen or work now.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Kissy is like, 9000 years old. Why the fuck should he give a fuck about some kid who got nepotisted?

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      And as a member of the tribe, I am sure he had a proper brit milah.(bris)

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        And he IS the opposite of tikkun olam.

    • Dg Hacket

      They can both fuck off

      • Carpe Vagenda

        They sort of deserve each other, don’t you think?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      That’s just a step above “You’re a good worker, reliable… punctual.” in the blandishment scale.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Actually, since it’s not a big secret that his daddy spent many millions buying him admission to both those schools, it’s slightly less flattering than that.

    • puredog

      Oh, Henry, just please go fuck yourself. Mmkay? Right, then.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        It’s like Trump’s not grateful for being given the gift of KT McFarland.

  • BadKitty904

    Aight, time to feed the livestock and start supper. Laters, chirren!

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Laters, Potaters! :)

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Is he going to deport all the Hawaiians now? Is that the next logical move?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Well, they sure as shit can’t come to the 48 contiguous states… Or Alaska. ‘Cause Sarah The Grifter controls that, right?

      • jesterpunk

        She did but no one told her governing was so hard so she quit.

    • Jamoche

      Deport them from Hawaii, or to? I’ve got one of them there dodgy ’60s Hawaiian birth certificates, and if it’s to, sign me up.

      (Damn it, I was really hoping to retire that meme…)

      • puredog

        um, someone calling for people to be deported to Hawaii? Where do I line up?

  • Bill D. Burger

    This should be infuriating to anyone of any political stripe. “A judge sitting on an island in the Pacific”? He’s a federal judge exercising his constitutional duty in one of these United States of America!
    It’s doubly infuriating that an fucking inbred asshole from some hillbilly backwater in the swamp (Alabama) who loves to question the patriotism and Americanness’ of people who disagree with him would denigrate a public servant and a state in our union.

    • Suttree

      He only like John Yoo, Roy Cohn, Roy Moore……..

    • puredog

      I like the cut of your jib.

  • Heyzeus Ahchay

    To paraphrase Granny Clampette’s dumber twin brother:

    — I’m really amazed that some never-seen Ghost figure reportedly lounging on a cloud somewhere in space can issue orders that stop most of humanity from what appears to be clearly their ability to intelligently and rationally apply reasoning to the world around them.

    Or something like that.

  • boyblue123

    Sessions got his law degree from Trump U so what does he know exactly?

    • Bill D. Burger

      Probably found it at Goodwill.

  • not_vh

    hang on. wasn’t this guy found to be ethically compromised and had to withdraw from perhaps the most important investigation going on currently?

  • Thiazin Red

    Ah, so this explains all of the “Ossoff is a corporate shill/not progressive/the worst” comments I’ve been seeing.

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2017/4/19/1654428/-Bernie-Sanders-Says-He-Doesn-t-Know-If-Jon-Ossoff-Is-A-Progressive

    • TJ Barke

      FFS, the most corporate shill dem is not as bad as the least corporate shill repub!

    • jesterpunk

      Oh Fuck off Bernie, you are not even a democrat and all you are doing is hurting any democrat who runs.

    • janecita

      At this point, I’d vote for a cheese sandwich over a Republican. As long as the candidate isn’t a blue dog Democrat, he could be blowing the Wells Fargo CEO, and I’d still vote for him.

      • bupkus231

        Cheese Sandwich 2018!!!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Why? Because Ossoff isn’t down for ideological purity tests?

    • HazooToo

      He’s quickly ensuring that he will never be accepted into another Democratic primary, and if he is, he won’t get any of Hillary’s voters.

  • Nick Scroggs

    Think we could convince these guys that Vietnam is in fact the 51th state, with little effort.

  • tinker12

    In honor of 4/20 this message is for General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/12900a07520d4953e5ed45dfd9a9a42c04372dc8dc2f8ff84c0d96f48c283e9b.jpg

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I can roll with that.

      Psst. I hear tell there are folks who smoke the clove.

    • Thiazin Red

      Okay, I support legalization, but thats stupid. Its a plant which produces a drug. We don’t say Aspirin or quinine or opium aren’t drugs because they came from plants.

      • mackafritz

        So is tobacco a drug? It contains nicotine a highly addictive drug.

        • Tobacco is, also, a plant.
          Nicotine, if distilled from tobacco, is a drug. Otherwise it is a chemical in the plant.

          • puredog

            I think you should have to repeat these kinds of explanations all day.

      • Except…we don’t derive pot from the plant. It is the actual physical plant. It happens to have medicinal qualities, but it is still a plant, not a manufactured drug.
        The argument can be made however that pot butter et al are, in fact, drugs derived from the plant

      • tinker12

        You can partake of cannabis without any processing, like you can enjoy rosemary, lavender, etc.; whereas, you have to process plants to create aspirin, quinine, and opium. Sorry, I’m standing with Willie on this one.

      • aureolaborealis

        We don’t say willow (salix) is a drug; we say aspirin (acetylsalicylic acid), which used to be derived from willow, is the drug.
        We don’t say poppies are drugs; we say opium, which is derived from poppies, is the drug.
        Etc.

        Also: You can have pot without THC. I mean what’s the point, but there it is.

        Also, also: Marijuana is an anti-cannabis propaganda label (“Potted-up Mexicans with penises are coming for our white women!”) we’ve co-opted and disabled.

    • Nick Scroggs

      Apparently in Gardena this morning, some high school kids staged a protest of its legalization, citing car accidents and peer pressure to smoke it. How the world’s changed.

      • Chadwells

        I Saw that and was gonna post about it too!!! What a bunch of a-holes!!

      • Chadwells

        Maybe a-holes was too strong. I mean, they’re kids and good on them for standing up…but get your facts straight.

      • Yr. Gma

        Well, Gardena…

  • wandajayne

    I know our American ways may seem strange and unusual to someone coming from the Confederacy but there are American Civics classes that Beauregard can take to get him up to speed.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      He won’t know how to interpret what he hears. He’s a Son, first and last.

  • Mary Sandoras
    • Reximus

      New holiday: Festi-Trump-ivus..air your easter grievances

  • not_vh

    paris. again.

    • HazooToo

      Of course. Goddammit.

    • janecita

      Fucking terrorists, my mom is freaking out about my mini birthday trip to Paris next month. I feel sorry for my kids that are going to have to deal with her drama for 4 days!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Oh Jeffy, you jugeared’ ignorant slut! Most people in Hawaii don’t think a racist lawn gnome should overrule common sense and human decency either, but there you are.

    BTW: Jeffy Sessions can’t respect a state that (1) never seceded and (2) didn’t harbor terrorist groups like the Klan.

  • jesterpunk
  • Reximus

    WIKILEAKS MUST HAVE THE PEEPEE TAPE

    • Meccalopolis

      You gonna take that assange? Oh snap! He cold dissin’ you!

  • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’
  • God Emperor Emeritus

    This haole with a suspiciously Hawaiian birth certificate would like to kindly invite Little Jeff to go fuck a [vote] toaster.

    • Jamoche

      Mine’s not just Hawaiian, it’s suspiciously ’60s.

    • bupkus231

      With plenty of ( conductive ) lube!

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Not to worry Blue Hawaii. California Republic here. We got your back.

    • Persistent Demme

      Totally.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Fuck yeah.

  • MizzMazz

    Also, Fuck You Sessions! My Father’s parents came from Hawaii, and I had the marvelous experience of that culture, and it is so real and passionate and diverse that your head would explode. Which would not be a bad thing. Get outside, you dumbfuck, and experience the world. It does a mind good.

  • Persistent Demme

    That’s some Pandora’s Box you’ve opened, Jeffy-boy!
    Pop the popcorn, Mr. Demme!

  • Nick Scroggs

    Remembering 2008, when Nancy Pfotenhower-whatever was saying that there was the coast America, and the “real America.”

    • tomamitai

      Why do they consider the parts where sheep and cattle outnumber humans as “the real America”?

      • janecita

        Maybe sheep and cattle, and the people that fuck them, are the real America! Maybe the rest of us are the inspiration America, the one thing that those goat fuckers aspire to be.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Why do the NYT and WaPo continue to run around on anthropological expeditions to interview rust belt Trump voters?

        It’s what coastal libtards do- elevate those spoiled and entitled “real Murican” white people far beyond what they deserve

      • Nick Scroggs

        Because they were going to vote for McCain.

  • dslindc
    • Anna Elizabeth

      “General Quarters, Missile. Box 1-4, to ruin Christmas. Report when ready.”

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      Mele Kalikimaka, motherfuckers.

    • tomamitai

      It’s a little early for Christmas, can’t we just war on Easter by saying “Hoppy Holidays”?

      • Vecchioivan

        Hare-raisingly punny.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        That’s the war on Octoberfest

      • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

        Stopping egging them on!

    • Thiazin Red

      I will not rest until Christmas is forced to accept its historical boundaries, of the two weeks before the holiday and no more. For too long Christmas has engaged in a steady course of aggression against its neighboring holidays, totally consuming Thanksgiving and now assaulting the borders of Halloween.

      No longer will we see Christmas displays in September, or hear Christmas music after December 25th. Christmas must be contained or it will continue to spread.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Quarantine babby Jesus!

      • God Emperor Emeritus

        What about Saturnalia? The original casualty. #NeverForget

        • Contemplative Ron

          Solstice – it’s the reason for the season!

      • LucindathePook

        Christmas lasts 12 days, from 12/25 to 1.6. Before that is ADVENT.

        • Thiazin Red

          I’m reluctant to allow Christmas to linger, it encourages Christmas’ ambitions.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Can we just get rid of all the Christmas music? Well, except that one by George Michael and the one by Mariah Carey. Oh and the Hawaiian one. But that’s it!

        • Thiazin Red

          I accept none of those. Working retail during Christmas for years is pretty much the same as Clockwork Orange aversion treatment for popular Christmas songs.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            I feel your pain. I really do. Christmas music really, really grinds my gears. I can only tolerate those three songs in very limited quantities, and only the week before Christmas.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    We spy w/our lil 👀, people celebratin 420 in da Mile Hi. Das ok, we dont really mind. Jus#ConsumeResponsibly or we'll bust u guys. #420Songs pic.twitter.com/YAKw41dGcR— Denver Police Dept. (@DenverPolice) April 20, 2017

    • Msgr_MΩment

      4/20. Colorado Independence Day!

  • Reximus
    • puredog

      I never did hear if the winner in Ecuador was the guy who was going to eject Assmunch.

      • janecita

        No, Ecuador dodged that right wing bullet.

        • puredog

          Well, still, if the US is somehow going to arrest him, maybe he and Hannity can be waterboarded together. . .uh, with votes.

          • Reximus

            JA has lots of dirt on Trump

    • Thiazin Red

      Maybe he should have thought twice about being a Trump shill.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      It’s time to tie up all the loose ends.

      • Reximus

        This is Yoooge

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        time to silence Julian so he can’t be coerced to tesify

    • janecita

      What for? Trump wants to give him an award?

      • Reximus

        He has a LOT of Drumpf dirt

        • Thiazin Red

          Well then its time to hope that Assange continues to be as much of a spiteful douche as he has been.

        • janecita

          Exactly! Why would he want him arrested? If I were Assange, I’d dump my Trump cache, before the American government got their paws on me.

          • Reximus

            Trumpie always plays offense, he knows what WL has on him

      • Stulexington

        The orange jumpsuit award for truth in journalism.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    HEY! It is 4:20 on 4/20!!!!!! Don’t bogart that joint my friend…

    • dslindc

      Pffft, maybe in the so-called, “Mountain Time Zone”, which is not a thing.

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        Dok and Rebecca are in the Mountain Time Zone, therefore all you other wonkers, I mean, wankers, don’t exist.in time nor space.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Damn right! The Mountain Time Zone is the center of everything, all this Timey-wimey stuff.

        • dslindc

          Fake news! SAD!

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Hoofwankers, if you wish to be precise.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Brigadoon is in the MTZ, fwiw.

    • Picabo
      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        A modern day spiritual….

        • Msgr_MΩment

          It’s all about Sweet Jesus and Sweet Mary. How sweet what the children are singing about these days.

      • Yr. Gma

        My God that is funny!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Mind Blown.

  • Poly_Ester

    The War of the Rebellion, part deux — Sessions leads the charge.

  • bupkus231

    Presumably the OT – I don’t know what I did, but I screwed up my old disqus account, so made a new one. Probably nobody here cares, but figured I’d better put a “disclaimer” out here….

    I guess I finally learned why everyone always disses disqus….

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Good ol’ Dicks-us. :)

  • OT Found this ob Crooks and Liars, one comment said the address was an empty lot – Fraud?
    https://twitter.com/christinawilkie/status/855114727361589248

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Red Bird Ω

      Hmmm. Why?

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        The hints are that DOJ’s view of him began to change when they realized he took an active role in recruiting and assisting Snowden, and then the 2016 election fiasco, etc.

        My guess is that they have him cold busted working with Russian intel.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          My question is if they’re still supportive of Glenn Greenwald’s marriage.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        felony being a smug asshole?

      • jesterpunk

        The election is over and he is no longer useful?

    • boyblue123

      His twitter bot army is going to try to melt down the internet

    • Stulexington

      Just think: Hillrod would probably have just ignored you to death Assenge.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    I know what I want to do for a recipehub post, trying to find THE recipe to use. *hmmmmm . . .nope, don’t have all the ingredients* *oh, THAT looks good . . . “serves 12” *eyeroll* *OMG!! But HELL NO for the prep!*

    I am fricking STARVING now! LOL Maybe I’ll just make myself a burger.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      XD It’s close to dinner time for me, and I’m starving too.

    • HazooToo

      Tuna grinders?

    • Thiazin Red

      Whenever that happens to me I usually end up getting Thai takeout.

    • Try that pasta mix I posted 3 weeks ago
      Per person

      2 oz (50 gm) small pasta

      1 pt (500 ml 2.5 cups) stock of choice

      2 heaped teaspoons sun dried tomato pesto or normal pesto

      Some black olives

      A small clove of garlic
      2 oz (50 gm) grated hard cheese

      2 – 3 of oz of some vegetables that need no cooking (eg bell pepper, courg zucchini, mushroom, spring onion – you get the idea)

      Edit to add. a 2-4 slices salami (thanks, Poorly Behaved)
      +++++++++++
      Cook the pasta on a rolling boil – about 7 – 10 mins (20 if you live in Seattle)
      While cooking cut up the vegetable, the salami and the finely chop the garlic.
      Drain the pasta put it back in the pan
      add the pesto and stir to coat, then the cheese and stir, then everything else and stir

      Leave for a couple of minutes to let the flavours mix

      Taste explosion!!!!

    • Marion in Savannah

      Here? It’s baked pork chops, mashed potatoes and succotash.

    • tomamitai

      Maybe I’ll just make myself a burger.

      Good Godwin, have things gotten so bad you have to cannibalize yourself?

    • Contemplative Ron

      Fresh Italian bread with butter. Cream corn. Some nights it’s hard to even think about eating.

  • Chadwells

    OT: Watching Stripes. I can’t help but think Dampnut would have been a John Larroquette type soldier…Capt. Stillman.

    https://youtu.be/w6Oy4Prsai0

    https://youtu.be/u1IqRpw9hG4

    • Anna Elizabeth

      “But what we have in common is, we were all*stupid* enough to enlist in the Army!”

      I <3 this movie, especially PJ Soles.

      • Bozilingus

        She was very good in Rock and Roll High School also, too.

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    I would write a legal rejoinder that says, “Oh yeah, Jeff Sessions? Well your mother is so fat that when she sits on an island, sits ON the island.”

  • Shucky Ducky

    Rick Wilson’s twitter account (not linking, no account of my own, I just lurk) has a #ImetJared thread that is comedy gold. 4 stars; do not miss.

  • Anna Elizabeth
    • davidhollenshead

      No one should have “super cars” as the rich don’t care about hurting others with their dangerous driving.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I can’t even afford a model kit of one, but I’m not going to apologize for thinking they are beautiful.

        • davidhollenshead

          I have no problem with that, but I do have a problem with the carnage their owners cause on public roads.

          • Bobathonic

            It’s not the car. I see idjits driving stupid in everything from pick up trucks to motorcycles to suvs to mini vans, etc.

          • davidhollenshead

            Actually it is the car, as seen by the many serious crashes they cause. We don’t have pickup trucks & minivans doing 0 to 60 in our neighborhood, but a Tesla owner does this on a regular basis. There are other cars, like a BMW, a Porsche, etc. that are driving insanely thru the neighborhood as well.
            They even once hit and ran an old man, because they are rich.

          • tomamitai

            Can you hear an electric coming at that speed? At least with an ic engine you have the noise to warn you.

          • davidhollenshead

            Only when the tires spin, otherwise they are silent & deadly.

          • Persistent Demme

            FWIW: They’ve had to re-train seeing-eye dogs, who used to listen for the sound of a car.

      • janecita

        I can’t blame the rich for owning cars like this one. If I ever win the lottery, the only thing I’m planning to collect is speeding tickets;-)
        I would buy this one! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/24b4e41155cca8e95812fedce24865602caa99328ce2d34ade939b9561a6013c.jpg

        • davidhollenshead

          I can blame the rich, for driving cars on the street that belong on a race track, as most states have public track events, if that is what you are into.
          We even have a sociopath who owns a TESLA, who has done 0 to 60 runs in the neighborhood, and I’m tempted to tell a neighbor who wants to torch it, were it parks at night.

          • janecita

            That is fucked up. Tell your neighbor, where the car is parked!

          • davidhollenshead

            I’m considering it, if it continues to race in the 20 mph zone.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        At the very least, if you can afford a car like that, you can afford to have it airmailed to the Bonneville Salt Flats to satisfy your need for speed.

        • davidhollenshead

          Most states have public track time at a few race courses.

    • Bobathonic
      • Anna Elizabeth

        Me Likey! I never heard this one before!

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I’ll be in my bunk.

  • Mary Sandoras
  • Shoto

    ♫ Kleptocracy, Fuck Yeah!! ♫

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6n75G1C8Nzc

    • janecita

      God, I hate these fucking grifters!

      • Red Bird Ω

        Who doesn’t?

        • Shoto

          Wait: That’s a trick question, right?

      • Shoto

        I suppose it’s theoretically possible for Grifty Barbie Vank-Vank to be more smarmy, but it’s impossible for me to get my tiny pea brain around the notion.

        • hendenburg2

          reality show idea: The Griftprentice

          Sarah Palin and Ivanka Trump compete to out-scam people (and each other) for the title of Grifter Barbie Queen. It’ll be okay, since it’s reality TV, everyone else on the show will be actors.

          • Shoto

            I like it. Basic cable, right? It ain’t like I’m gonna pay a premium for it like HBO. Now if they mud-wrestle, I might do a PPV.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        If they are all soooo that, they would have the ethical and moral stance that they do not deserve nor are qualified to be anywhere near the WH.

  • not_vh

    oh this the OT. Was waiting since AM when i discovered Giorgio Moroder.
    His name is Giovanni Giorgio, but people call him Giorgio
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhl-Cs1-sG4

  • Shoto
    • Thaumaturgist

      And we thought we were going to make America Great Again.

      • davidhollenshead

        By reinstating slavery and limiting the vote to WASPs ???

        • tomamitai

          And repealing the 14th, 16th, 17th, and 19th amendments also, too!

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      It’s several dozen strikes, a few widely publicized lawsuits, a advertiser boycott and you’re out, buddy.

    • tomamitai

      And punished with a meager $25million in severence pay.

      • Shoto

        That’ll teach him…

      • Stulexington

        Have they considered actually writing people up whenever they have to pay a settlement? I mean with proper documentation you can actually fire people without paying severance. Oh right they’d have to actually violate company policy first.

        • Contemplative Ron

          Rather than following company policy.
          And remember, his actual ‘crime’ was costing Murdoch money.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Like Sessions has any room to talk. He was born in a tree where his parents bake cookies…

    • shastakoala

      Now I want elfen goodness cookies!

      • Reximus

        not THOSE ones

    • Nick Scroggs

      How dare you disparage the Keebler name!

    • janecita

      Lol!

    • Thiazin Red

      Now its bugging me, were there ever any female elves? Or do they have some kind of Left Hand of Darkness type society?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I think Saruman bred them in deep dark pits, so no wimmenz

        • Thiazin Red

          Sounds plausible.

      • snark-lurker

        fairies

    • h4rr4r

      The Keebler Klansman!

    • HogeyeGrex

      Pretty sure his parents were baking crackers.

      Sorry.

  • Randy Riddle
  • Nick Scroggs
  • Nodrama4mama

    Hawaii is also kind of important since the IDK, the Pacific Command for the military is out here.

    • shastakoala

      Luaus, also too.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        no poi though- that stuff is nasty

        • hendenburg2

          I would say that poi should burn, but it can’t :-(

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Yesyesyes. Big shirtless muscley dudes bringing pulled pork = Bearadise.

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      Whatever. Nothing of military significance ever happened there anyway. — Propaganda Spice

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Looks like the DPRK is putting us all on double secret probation

    North Korean state media warned the United States of a “super-mighty preemptive strike” after U.S. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson said the United States was looking at ways to bring pressure to bear on North Korea over its nuclear program

    In the case of our super-mighty preemptive strike being launched, it will completely and immediately wipe out not only U.S. imperialists’ invasion forces in South Korea and its surrounding areas but the U.S. mainland and reduce them to ashes,” it said.

    • Marion in Savannah

      At this point being reduced to ashes is starting to sound like a really viable alternative to the Trump “administration.”

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Does the DPRK have a Death Star up there?

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        Derp Star.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Derp Star, Jerry!

          Let Phil sing…

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Well Played!

          • puredog

            I can’t remember what asshat it was, but one of them, several weeks ago, referred to the North Koreans as “norks,” a term I had never heard. I liked it; kind of nerds + dorks, with a soupcon of vomiting soundtrack. Then I thought of my white privilege, and that perhaps I was a little too ready to adopt a pejorative term for an entire country of people (race different from and darker than my own). “But,” argued my lesser self,”are not those norks members of the Axis of Evil, and therefore worthy of the basest calumny?” I was convinced by this for a moment, until I recalled from whom the AOE characterization had come. I tried to rally by remembering how totally fucked-up the boy emperor and his country are, but then realized that I — as a 2017 American — have no moral high horse to mount, and that it all must be my inherent racism speaking. Quite illuminating. (But I still like the sound of “NORKS!”)

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Nicely essayed. :) “Norks” reminds me of Warhammer 40000 and the Space Orks.

    • Jamoche

      Can we just put both the ego-babies in a Thunderdome cage and leave them there?

      • Stulexington

        Two men enter … and that’s it.

        • HogeyeGrex

          Men libelz?

      • davidhollenshead

        As long as we get to shoot the winners……..

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
      • Shoto

        It’s supposed to be a Sekrit. How did you get hold of that classified material?

        • jesterpunk

          It was leaked by pee hookers.

    • boyblue123

      North Korea better watch out or Trump will have his buddies at the National Enquirer write a scathing article about lil Kim

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Breitbart will turn its commenters loose on them…

        • jesterpunk

          If that doesnt work Breitbart will threaten to send Milo Yabadabadoopalas and Steve Bannon over.

          • davidhollenshead

            I would love to send Milo & Bannon to NK……

          • jesterpunk

            I would too but I think that would violate a UN treaty or 3. They do ban biological weapons.

          • davidhollenshead

            You have a point, but we don’t have to take responsibility for Mr. Bannon.

          • georgiaburning

            They might like it there, Kim could give them jobs in the propaganda ministry.

          • Persistent Demme

            “Yabadabadoopalas!”
            FTW!

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Unless they hold the battle in the matrix I don’t think that’s going to be a problem for them.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          And that, ladies and gents and nonbinary ppl, is the very definition of a Hobson’s choice.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            that’s the point were you cheer for the rogue meteor

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        Kim is Hitlery’s alien babby all growed up.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Picabo

      “A screaming comes across the sky” – Gravity’s Rainbow.

      • Suttree

        “I gave up 150 pages later. Six different times.”
        -Suttree

    • Bill D. Burger

      “I have super-mighty missiles, bitches!”

      http://elmirism.org/kim-jong-un_orig.gif

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      What’s Korean for “Niedermeyer”?

    • Let’s see, so far their “nukes” turn out to be less powerful than what we dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki back in the day (when they actually go off), and their missiles have this incredible tendency to explode right after launch. While I’m sure they can do some pretty awful things to South Korea and maybe parts of Japan, they should get back to us in a couple of years with better threats.

      • davidhollenshead

        NK can’t make a deliverable thermonuclear weapon, unless you consider a freighter to be an ICBM.

  • Anna Rompage

    I do’;t know, I kind of like ‘Bubba Shrimp AssFace’ as Session’s new nickname…

    What do you think?

    And why the fuck does he always seem to have a look on his face like he just saw his sister naked, and really really liked it?

    • Shoto

      I second the official naming.

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      That’s Bubba Shrimp Ass Face III to you, missy.

    • hendenburg2

      I dunno… I can’t really compare any face on Jeff Sessions to any face made by Nicolaj Coster-Waldau

      • puredog

        Yes, that would be difficult.

  • boyblue123

    Alex Jones throws a fit at his court hearings

    https://twitter.com/RoqPlanas/status/855166831736344577

    • Shoto

      It’s an outrage that this comedy show is not being live-streamed!

      • Bill D. Burger

        I would pony up if it were Pay Per View.

        • boyblue123

          Id like to see this episode of InfoWars in a court setting too

    • TJ Barke

      Way to prove everybody that thinks you’re crazy right, AJ, you nutbar.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Point of order, if you please. Alex Jones is more of an Ass-Tricorn.

        • Jennifer R

          Simply put, I wish I could lie to the courts like alex jones or jefferson sessions gets to do. Stupid being too poor to be above the law.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            It sux, don’t it?

          • Jennifer R

            Stupid being under the powers of the rules of society.

      • Jennifer R

        Sadly it only made him look better. The judge hasn’t really let any infowars or crazy nutball in a painted car media in, and the other lawyer has settled for making him look like an asshole, which isn’t valid grounds for losing your child in Texas.

    • Bill D. Burger

      [‘You have no decency!’ (Jones) Shouts at lawyer.]

      “It was as if millions of irony meters cried out….and were suddenly silenced.”

      http://votersopinion.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Extreme-Irony.gif

      • Back when Orly Taitz was busy, we found out that even putting enormous resistors on the meter didn’t stop them from exploding. Good for the manufacturers though, and I’m sure Trump will now be claiming he’s creating jobs.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          Got to fill them with mineral oil. Damps the slamming of the needle and conducts the heat away from the coil.

    • puredog

      Sounds like a very muddled recollection of the Army-McCarthy hearings. About what I’d expect from Our Boyo.

    • Alex, Alex, Alex. Just admit you didn’t want the kids, and walk away. Really.

      • davidhollenshead

        Oh no, the issue is that he wants to hurt his ex-wife, it’s really not about the kids.

        • Little Doll–MOAMF

          Bingo. She broke his narcissist list of laws for spouses.

          1. I am always wonderful and you will always want me.
          2. You will never leave.
          3. I’ll say whatever I want to you and you will bend to my will.
          4. You will never expect emotional support of any kind from me.

          5. You exist to meet MY needs, which are bottomless.
          6. The kids are my property and exist to reflect my awesomeness.
          7. If you question/break any of the above laws, I have the right to punish you. Forever. In any way I can. It’s your fault.
          8. It’s always your fault.
          9. It is forever your fault.

          • davidhollenshead

            Yup, and I’ve also had to deal with years of stalking by my ex-wife and yes, it all was really about her & what she wanted…….

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            I’m sorry you had to go through that. :( And are still going through it.

          • davidhollenshead

            Nope, I moved 2000 miles away, so if she turns up here, a court order will be easy to get…..

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            Oh good! :)

      • Stulexington

        It’s not the kids, it’s the principle. And the interest. What I’m saying is he doesn’t want to pay for the kids.

  • Rick Hill

    Fire ALL the judges!!

  • Anybody got a linky to Bruce’s new song?

  • Shanzgood

    Daughter’s friend is here. The one who cuts herself. I need to look at last night’s damage (which is why she’s here, because she’s scared to go home) but I’m really squeamish.

    I can do this. For this child.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      ~hugs~ Baby Girl used to cut herself. It gets better. :) Be strong Shan, stay cool.

      • Shanzgood

        She doesn’t need medical care, thankfully, so I’m just feeding her what she wants to eat tonight and letting her play Rock Band with my daughter in a safe space like I used to do with the neighbor kids.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Good, I’m glad it’s not worse. The safe space is what she needs.

          You can EMail me if you ever need to talk, Shan. :)

          • Shanzgood

            Thanks, Anna. This is a bit beyond me and also closer to home than I’m comfortable with so I’m a bit freaked out.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            ~hugs~ I kinda figured. It’s not easy. I made lots of mistakes with my Baby because I was so scared. But that was 3 years ago, and she’s working on her degree now. :)

    • janecita

      I’m so sorry, poor girl!

    • Jennifer R

      She needs all the understanding that can be found right now.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Brave heart, Shan. You can do this.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      You’re doing a really good thing helping her through her teenage years.

      • snark-lurker

        i have never known a cutter, so no idea what makes’em tick

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          Telling them not to cut makes them leery to ask for help, and also cut more.

          • snark-lurker

            i would not know what to do. call my kid who is a psycho-analyst is all i can think of but his field is autism

          • Jennifer R

            It can be a way to process internal emotional pain as physical pain that eventually passes. Sort of taking a pain that was inflicting it from an outside force against one’s will and consuming it on one’s own terms. Sometimes just feeling like you should hurt and if nothing else is going to do it, to do it yourself. but everyone is different.

          • snark-lurker

            trying to get it but still beyond my understanding

          • Jennifer R

            Gaze not into the abyss, lest the abyss gazes back into you.

          • snark-lurker

            i have been to the abyss, and traveled there, my next visit will be as death’s companion

          • Old Man Yells at Cloud

            I had to fly United Airlines once too.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          I’ve known a couple – one ended up being diagnosed with serious depression, and the other got a bipolar diagnosis (the cutting tended to happen during the deepest part of their depressive state). It’s a very tricky path to help them without driving them further down the spiral.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Part of what helped my Baby was telling her that I would always love her, no matter what, and when she believed I wasn’t going away like all her friends had, it helped.

            As life got more positive, she found other ways to cope. It took time.

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            How is she doing today, Anna? Are things any better?

          • Anna Elizabeth

            She did her uni classes, and she’s ok. :) She’s working on what she can do to get free of her sitch, the way I spent all last year doing with mine. She has a good plan, and I’ve told her I have a place for her with me if all goes south.

            I want her not to interrupt her education and all that, but I have a safe place for her so she’ll never be in despair.

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            Good. :) OK

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Anna, you’re a pip.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            :) Thank you.

          • snark-lurker

            pitty is all i have & that never helps when that’s all yuh got

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          I was married to one. Her childhood was especially dark and abusive.

          • snark-lurker

            i see (not really)

    • Tell her that worldwide there are people rooting for her.

      In my personal experience (which admittedly may not be hers) the pain or numbness that drove me to do these things did go away and I did start motivating myself without the scars.

    • davidhollenshead

      Yes you can, and thank you for doing the right thing.

    • Persistent Demme

      I’m not squeamish at all, and I’m sending you some of my “whatever, bring on the gore” vibes.
      She chose you for a reason, and I’m sure you’re up for this.
      Take care.

    • Treg Brown

      God or who/what ever bless you. Hero to that person.
      *chaste internet hug*

    • Shoto

      Maybe think about getting a professional involved, or would that create too many ancillary problems?

      • davidhollenshead

        That is the idea, but first you have to have reason for contacting the professional for another person……

        • Shoto

          And if a professional determined that she was a danger to herself, she could be locked up for a few days, right?

      • Shanzgood

        Yeah, she gets hell at home if SRS gets involved, apparently.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      I’m so happy that she feels safe enough to turn to you! It speaks volumes about you and her potential to heal all of her wounds. You can handle the wounds, you’ve pushed a child out of your vagina after all.
      Sending love your way!

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Let her talk. Sit still, listen, don’t ask too many questions, make sure you don’t look like you’re judging and don’t squirm or recoil as the story gets deeper and darker (it will because that’s probably why she cuts herself.) If you can show her you can take as well as she does hopefully it’ll show her she’s not alone. That’s what she needs. Good luck and thank you for being there for her.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        *nods* This, this.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        You are absolutely correct. I took someone in who needed a place to live and a mother figure. He lived with us for a little over a year. When my kids were with their dad, we would sit in the living room and talk for hours. He said to me one time, “You give the best advice.” I had to point out to him that I actually never gave him any advice other than, “believe in yourself.” All I did was listen and ask questions.

        • Rebekahhmurphy

          Managing director of Google!, is explaining to users to start off “Work at home” method, that People have been doing for about one year now. These days alone, I generated close to $36,000 until now with no more than my home computer as well as some spare time, despite that i have a fulltime 9 to 5 job. Even everyone not used to this, can make $89/per h easily and the earnings can go even higher over time… This is how i started
          !so263c:
          ➽➽
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    • DrBigHead

      Sometimes I think just being there and listening is all one can do. Three of my closest friends in high school spent time living in my house because my dad listened to them when their own fathers wouldn’t. When he thought they were full of shit he would tell them, but in the supportive way that I have seen very few people in my life able to do.

      Be strong.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      You’re being very brave.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      You got this, kiddo.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • IOnlyLikeCats

      That guy appears to be committing assault, that appears to be blood, and that woman appears to be laughing. I’m going to need an explanation.

      EDIT: Read the caption and I’m still going to need an explanation, but for other reasons.

      • Not blood, look at the “cling” on her fingers and hands

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          According to the caption, that man is injured and the Trump guy is helping him. Which really doesn’t explain that entire picture.

          • Edited – and to me that stain still looks like paint or nail polish

      • Yr. Gma

        I don’t see laughing.

      • jowgajen

        The injured person is male.

        • janecita

          I was wondering about the hairy belly.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          Yeah that’s my bad. His hair is long, his lips are full, and his nose is straight (also covered in blood).

    • hendenburg2

      Holy fuck… even the Oaf Keepers asshole is calling his own sides’s guys crazy

  • Jamoche
    • aureolaborealis

      Where are all the Sovereign citizen dip-shits who like to show up at police calls to make sure governmental authority isn’t being abused? I’m guessing it doesn’t count if it’s browns.

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    “A judge sitting on an island in the Pacific…”

    You treasonous assholes lost the Civil War and, even if you take up arms and re-instigate the conflict (without votes) you will not win.

    No, you cannot have slavery back, there isn’t going to be resegregation, birth control is here to stay and the Great Society is the future (no matter how hard you try to kneecap it). Deal with it you clueless, pathetic, reactionary, unfuckable cretins.

    Oh, and y’all can’t tell a joke either.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Huh – looks like soon you can get your B.S. in B-E-E-R in Colorado.

  • andyshelt

    Senator Mazie Hirono: “Jeff Sessions’ comments are ignorant and dangerous”

    I thought “Ignorant” and “Dangerous” were the Secret Service code names for Trump and Pence!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I would have put money on “Tangerine” and “Mayonnaise”.

      • You sure it isn’t “Pussygrabber” and “Closet Case?”

        • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

          Or “Douche” and “Bag” perhaps.

  • Mister Smith

    USA Out of Hawaii !!

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Blow the bridges!!!

      • calliecallie

        There’s a bridge to Hawaii?!

  • Chadwells

    OT: what do you know about that.

    “DOJ official leading Trump-Russia probe to step down”

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/04/20/top-doj-cyber-official-to-leave-post-next-month-237427

    • HazooToo

      This could either be good, or unfathomably bad, and I am alarmed that I don’t know which.

    • Suttree

      “How long can we make this stall?”

  • Chadwells

    DOJ pours gas on fire.

    “DOJ clarifies Sessions’s remark: ‘Hawaii is in fact an island in the Pacific'”

    http://thehill.com/homenews/news/329814-justice-dept-clarifies-sessions-remark-hawaii-is-in-fact-an-island-in-the

    • davidhollenshead

      Someone also will have to tell Führer Trump that Hawaii is not in the middle of the atlantic …..

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      Hawaii’s just this island, you know? — Gag Halfrunt

      • davidhollenshead

        Then who is Zaffod ???

    • More than one island in the state. Details, details.

      • God Emperor Emeritus

        Well, one of them is named Hawaii, too. — DOJ

        • RobespierreHoo

          “I think some people don’t know this, but Hawaii has lots of islands. The best islands. It’s not like it’s just one island, like some people think.”

          • God Emperor Emeritus

            It’s very complicated.

      • Jonny On Maui

        He’ll, we got more than one island in the county of Maui.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
    • Bill D. Burger

      They seem to be taking their cues from Babble Spicer.

      (“The White House did not mislead or lie, the USS Vinson group will eventually be going to the waters off North Korea.”) ___ PERIOD.

      • Chadwells

        I thought it sounded Spicey too!!

      • Duke

        Bigly

      • Beanz&Berryz

        So when the Vinson heads out of its San Diego home port its really heading on its way back to San Diego. But maybe with 6 months driving around in the oceans along way.

        • Suttree

          Whenever I get out of bed I am going to the liquor store also too.

    • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

      Everyone knows islands in the Pacific are brown people, what’s the problem?

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Is that why we’re surrounded by all this water??

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        What, you thought someone just left the bathtub on?

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          That’s what Jonny told me!

  • jesterpunk

    This can pretty much apply to anything anyone associated with Trump anytime they say or do anything.

    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/0e/8b/c3/0e8bc30b13ff71d5cd49b90ab68edfba.jpg

  • Well, as we learned from the previous 8 years, Hawaii is like part of Kenya, right?

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      DUH. That’s the reason Obama was such an anti-colonialist.

    • aktlib101

      Well, lots of brown-er people live there, so furriners. Screw them

  • BreakingDeadMen

    A Lysol grade douche.

  • Freida Peeple

    Here’s an idea : Have the racist little twerp disbarred.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Golly, we couldn’t do that unless it was something BIG– like lying to Congress under oath.

  • ltmcdies

    OT…this is an impressive young man, Dems…be proud

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/855136927351275521

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    It’s Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions the Turd.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKTwvqR6BiI

    This is such a hard time for us all. My nature is to lash out. The sword stroke through the Gordian knot, the smart bomb that collapses the bridge, the one gunshot that drops the Black hat.

    But life isn’t usually like that. We usually just have to endure, press on, and if we endure long enough, maybe we get the shot at the knockout punch.

    But it’s hard to endure sometimes.

    • HazooToo

      Sometimes I think you could have an author inside you, waiting for a book to write.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Thank you. I think about it sometimes. If I could get some time with less stress, I might even start one.

        • HazooToo

          Start carrying a notepad and pencil in your purse, write stuff whenever you have to “hurry up and wait” somewhere. Stretch your creative muscles!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I think I will, I have a bunch of little notepads, and I always carry a pen. :)

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Could someone explain to me why certain countries have a ton of sex scandals that end up on pornography sites? It’s for work.

  • Scooby

    To protest I am taking my next vacation in Hawaii instead of Alabama.

    • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

      FFS, what you libs will do to pretend yer making some kinda point about summin.

      • Scooby

        I’m willing to take a bullit for the team here.

    • not_vh

      other than pilgrimage to civil rights sites anything else in alabama? there’s nasa in hunstville. you could drive thrive through natchez chase. anything else?

      • Scooby

        Gulf shore

        • Suttree

          Orange Beach is rather nice.

      • Little Doll–MOAMF

        Tornadoes?

      • mt2099

        College football, but that’s only on autumn Saturdays.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          What’s this abt sportsball? Do people like that?

  • ltmcdies

    OT again…looks like somebody named Assange is of no further use to his handlers

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/20/politics/julian-assange-wikileaks-us-charges/index.html

    • Shoto

      I can’t help but wonder if the unhinged orange monster-baby might wipe Assange’s slate clean, since he was of so much use to him during the election. Drumpf is, after all, White Sheet Sessions’ boss.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Maybe NOW we’ll get some good dirt on The Orange One.

    • boyblue123

      Assange better turn himself into the Swedish authorities ASAP. Their prisons are much nicer

      • C4TWOMAN

        Oh yeah. They’re like elven country clubs. I’m not complaining–I think the problem with prisons being horrible is the worst people can manipulate themselves to avoid/exploit the horribleness. I wouldn’t necessarily push for them to be as nice as Swedish ones. but run well so anyone who wants to improve themselves can, and assholes loose privileges every time they’re assholes.
        Japanese prisons do that. And some Aussie outback ones.

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      I’m worried they’ll give him a new identity, plastic surgery, a wad of cash and they’ll let him off the hook with an American passport so he can go anywhere. I honestly don’t think Sessions would prosecute one of his own.

      • Undocumented Skwerl!

        Nah. This group of thugs has no loyalty.

      • ltmcdies

        that’s assuming an amount of competence that has been yet to be demonstrated by anyone within walking distance of the Trump administration.

        And I don’t think the CIA would be on board

    • mt2099

      Does this mean we’re going to forget about North Korea for now, and instead declare war on Ecuador?

      • ltmcdies

        Embassy in England…it will be the Brits who haul his ass out of the Embassy, I guess

        • mt2099

          I was thinking more in terms of dropping MOABs on Quito until they agree to turn him over.

    • C4TWOMAN

      He said WikiLeaks “directed Chelsea Manning to intercept specific secret
      information, and it overwhelmingly focuses on the United States.”

      Want to know the exact person who did that. I hate scammers who set up vulnerable/naive people.

  • Shoto
    • DainBramage

      Offal Office.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      They’re just classin’ up the joint, aren’t they?

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Hillbilly My. Rushmore.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Somebody forgot to take out the trash.

    • epazote

      The Resolution desk hasn’t been spray painted gold yet
      whatdafuck ?

      • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

        It’s been sprayed, alright.

    • therblig

      palin looks like a lot lizard

  • Michael R
    • not_vh

      both bananas and nuts.

  • Treg Brown
    • C4TWOMAN

      What a dick. You’d think he’d at least want to look good for the cameras….

      • Little Doll–MOAMF

        He thinks he does.

        • therblig

          he just hates sharing the spotlight.

          • Opalescent Riddles

            She should just stay in the damn plane a time or two. Why fucking bother with this fucking guy.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      He shits all over his wife? Eeeeeww…

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    Using the word ‘statutory’ impressed Levin’s audience. They had only heard it before in regards to their rape charges.

  • Duke

    In other news news, the Fox website doesn’t mention Bill O’s demise. They had it on the top section yesterday. Bless their hearts.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Again, if these people were a smidge more competent they’d be even more dangerous.
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/855199558783119368

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      I dunno. I begin to worry that their incompetence will eventually rise to the “Hey, did anyone remember to take any food to those prisoners at some point last month?” level.

      • Swampgas_Man

        Was it ICE that inadvertently (they say) left a prisoner in a locked room for three days over a holiday weekend without food or water?

        • C4TWOMAN

          If so, they’re lucky that person is a alive. A very healthy adult can survive 4-5 days without water, but they risk kidney damage.

        • epazote

          In San Diego they forgot about a guy for 9 days…he died in custody, locked in solitary

          • C4TWOMAN

            Fuck.

          • ltmcdies

            there a citation for that…that’s pretty god damn awful.

          • epazote

            Happened at the Fusion Center
            don’t have a link handy

    • Little Doll–MOAMF
    • ltmcdies

      John Oliver has been saying it for weeks ..”stupid Watergate”…apparently applies to ICE too

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      This is bound to happen when all you hire are professional wrestlers.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Like Italian Ice, but disgusting. Even worse than Vanilla Ice.

  • Picabo

    The Euro Christians tried to eliminate hula dancing and surfing in Hawaii. The Merrie Monarch Festival and big wave surf riding off the North Shore of Oahu are BIG annual events. HA!
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merrie_Monarch_Festival

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Aikau

    Resistance works. Eddie would go!

    • C4TWOMAN

      Good luck with that.
      Suppose they’ll try to outlaw drinking and skiing in Germany Octoberfest….

      • Stulexington

        Also sausages because homoerotic euphemism.

    • TJ Barke

      What won’t the christ lovers ruin?

      • Contemplative Ron

        Racking my brains, not coming up with anything.

        • FlemmishSpy

          Three bean salad?

  • Jonny On Maui

    “Poi Holloi?”

    And a fine “Taro to you too” Dok!

  • weejee
  • boyblue123

    Im hearing better and better things about that nice Italian singer all the time…….

    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/855151308289998851

    • C4TWOMAN

      Don’t be silly. Pav and Fredrick Douglas are hanging at the Lincoln Memorial these days–with Lincoln.

    • ltmcdies

      just like the awesome Fredrick Douglass guy, huh…

    • HazooToo

      Seriously guys, I know we’re not supposed to armchair diagnose, but that is getting really fucking hard.

      • ltmcdies

        My job is neuroscience … I hesitant to say Trump has a dementia as opposed to Trump being a completely and utterly disinterested in anything but himself type of guy for the last 70 years, and this is the result

        He doesn’t know anything…

        • HazooToo

          And he won’t bother to learn from anyone who isn’t more powerful than him.

    • Michael R
      • boyblue123

        ha, thats great

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Drumpf is like the Ur-exemplar, the Maximum Law youTube Troll installed as POTUS.

      Jesus Christ, our nation will never fully recover from this.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      “He’s dead? Are you sure?” – Trump

    • Vecchioivan

      I hear great things about this Caruso fellow.

      • therblig

        Robinson Caruso? sounds, you know, kind of black to me.

        • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

          Italians, they’re not really white, you know. Or Christian.

        • Vecchioivan

          Robinson “the Admiral” Caruso, played center for the Spurs back in the day.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Fake news! Just today, Pavarotti was doing more and more good things. People were noticing.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        “He smelled a little funny, but…”

    • jesterpunk

      What a great friend Trump is, he didnt notice Pavorotti hasnt responded to him in 10 years and just thought he agreed with him on everything.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Didn’t he and Frederick Douglass perform together at the Met that one time?

    • Count Awesome

      Next thing you know Trump will insist that Enrico Pallazzo sing the national anthem at his next rally.

    • Chyron HR

      It’s okay, guys. He meant Falco.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Amadeus Libelz!!11!1

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Nah, Falco was Austrian. Also dead, also too.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      “That’s a Spicy Meatball, am I right? And I’m hearing good things about this Renaissance.”

    • tehbaddr

      Unfit? Insane? Delusional? Take yer pick, time for the impeachment to proceed!

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Not too many people know this, but Pavarotti was a pretty good singer.

    • Contemplative Ron

      Alzheimer’s. Definitely Alzheimers. Next up, he’ll wander out of the WH one morning at 2AM looking for his real bedroom.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUXjWeWuVSk

    This song has really been helping me the last several days. It’s like it’s helping me take my darkness and rage and focus them outward, instead of inward.

    Arm Yourself because no-one else here will Save you!

  • Shoto
  • norcalOG

    Attempting to put to rest rumors he’s suffering from severe dementia, Sessions today told select friends that since the fall of Fort Sumter last week, he’s been in daily contact with President Davis, plotting future strategy. He also again praised Gen. Beauregard who, he said, had authorized the Mother of All Bombardments to capture the fort.

  • MamaBrown

    Well. I didn’t know anything about Mazie Hirono before today, but I like the cut of her jib.

    • puredog

      I only wish she had addressed her email to “General Sessions.” I am a firm believer in prefacing any sick burn with a careful adherence to the proper mode of address. It embiggens it.

  • ltmcdies

    OMG OMG….HE NOTICED US, HE NOTICED US……

    https://twitter.com/WSJPolitics/status/855197434099662849

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Whatcha goona do, Drumpf? Send a carrier?

      • ltmcdies

        it would probably get lost on Lake Superior.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          XD

        • calliecallie

          The SS Edmund Fitzgerald.

          • Yr. Gma

            Haha! You beat me to it!

        • mt2099

          Or the Second Battle of Lake Erie?

    • boyblue123

      Hes looking spookier every picture i see of him

      • jesterpunk

        Don’t you think he looks tired?

        • ltmcdies

          and bloated….very low energy….sad.

    • Blackest Noobs

      Until he meet with Canada’s leader again and becomes a fucking ineffective twit…you know like he did with the Chinese President….talked tough about China, meets the guy ( who probably laid some reality truths on him like ha ha Donald we would crush you puny Americans with our Mega_Godzilla which is helluva better than North Korea’s Mega-Godzilla), and then becomes a fucking pussy for China.

    • HazooToo

      Don’t you fuck with America’s little brother, you son of a bitch! I WILL VOTE YOU INSIDE A VAT OF MAPLE SYRUP!

      • Yr. Gma

        America’s little brother? Do you kiss your mamma with that mouth?

        • HazooToo

          Hey, if Canada wants to be the big spoon, we’re cool with that too!

    • Stulexington

      Still better than the senator who suggested nuking Canada to get us to stop subsidizing grain all those many years ago.

    • Carpe Vagenda
      • Lambsendbeds

        That’s just Ivanka’s resting porn face.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          You think? I mostly see her as wildly uncomfortable or lacquered into immobility.

    • Contemplative Ron

      Good idea, Donnie. Piss off your biggest trading partner. You need us WAY more than we need you.

  • Reximus
    • HazooToo

      Whhhhhhhhhaaaaaat the fuck

      • tehbaddr

        Yup! And Barron will be he new …

        • HazooToo

          student at a school in DC, if his parents were any kind of respectable fucking people.

    • DainBramage

      Not “Prince” and “Princess”? I haz a sad.

      • tehbaddr

        Ooops, should know better to read down thread! Kudos!

        • DainBramage

          Great minds, and all that.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Secretary of what, exactly? Secretary of I’m my dad’s external hard drive and my husband is actually Secretary President Jared.

      • puredog

        Secretary of Nepotism and Secretary of Male Nepotism. In other words, he’ll be under her. Kinky.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Gross.

    • jesterpunk

      Secretaries of grifting?

      damn autocorrect.

      • therblig

        Secs

    • Thaumaturgist

      In other words, DON’T CALL HIM PRESIDENT KUSHNER!!!,!1!!!1!

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      Alright who has been celebrating 4-20?

    • Chyron HR

      TRUMP
      From every kind of man
      Obedience I expect.
      I’m the king of America–

      KUSHNER
      And I’m his son-in-law elect!

    • therblig

      thank you for understanding that we work for a madman.

    • tehbaddr

      What! No Prince and Princess decree?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      The leaks from this WH are monumental. Basically nothing goes unreported or unreleased. Awesome.

  • aktlib101

    Taxes. Cutting taxes (again) for the rich will work THIS time, believe me. Because Reagonomics/”economic neoliberalism”/”trickle-down” worked so well for the past 40 years. So, why not do it again? That will surely balance the budget, since less money in the Treasury and increased spending (military, walls, infrastructure, etc) is how math works. Republicans do math good and they believe in the Tooth Fairy also
    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/04/trump-no-longer-has-a-tax-plan.html
    “President Donald Trump has scrapped the tax plan he campaigned on and is going back to the drawing board in a search for Republican consensus behind legislation to overhaul the U.S. tax system. … Some view the search for new options as a result of Trump’s refusal to set clear parameters for his plan and his exceedingly challenging endgame: reducing tax rates enough to spur faster growth without blowing up the budget deficit. Administration officials say it’s now unlikely that a tax overhaul will meet the August deadline set by Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin.

    At least the White House is totally clear on its political strategy: According to the AP, “administration officials have signaled that they want to pass tax legislation with only Republican votes”

    “The president reportedly wants to “cut tax rates sharply enough to improve the economic picture in depressed rural and industrial pockets of the country where many Trump voters live.” Doing so would require cutting taxes for middle-income households. But the cornerstone of virtually every Republican tax plan that’s been introduced in Congress — or on the campaign trail — is a giant tax cut for the rich. And if you want to pass revenue-neutral tax reform, you can’t really do both.

    Case in point: Paul Ryan’s tax plan restricts its benefits to the country-club set, delivering 99.6 percent of its relief to the one percent. This leaves the House speaker with a “mere” $3 trillion hole to fill, to be accomplished by levying new taxes on Americans who lacked the personal responsibility to invest in Republican campaigns or lobbying firms.

    By contrast, the plan Trump campaigned on would have delivered a modest 50.8 percent of its gains to the one percent. But since the GOP nominee wanted to cut the middle class in on the deal without reducing returns to his friends at Mar-a-Lago, his proposal would have increased the national debt by $7 trillion over ten years.”
    $7 trillion? Not that bad. Is it? Think of all those jobs and economic boom. It so worked (not) in the past.

    • jesterpunk

      So when this plan they want to pass with republican votes fails like their healthcare plan they wanted to pass with only republican votes they will blame democrats?

      • aktlib101

        1. Obama. 2. Hillary. 3. Moochers. 4. China. 5. Mooslims. 6. Isis. 7. Illegals 8. Jooz 9. Hollywood 10. Fake news.

        • Stulexington

          Also too “we’re going to tell you exactly what went wron SQUIRREL!”

  • TundraGrifter

    Off-the-Mark Levin is a shill. He offers a seemless blend of crackpot opinion, paid for “editorial advertising,” and outright ads. It’s often almost impossible to tell where one stops and one begins.

    Time after time he tells folks how wonderful AstroTurf organizations are – groups paid for by people who throw money at him.

    He continues to recommend Goldline. After it was fined $1,000,000 for deceptive sales practices. Is that a good reason to drop a paying advertiser? Of course not!

    How are those overprices “collectible” Swiss francs workin’ out for the rubes and gulls, now that gold is down from over $1,800/oz. to less than $1,300/oz?

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Limbaugh with a bargain aisle thesaurus.

  • Anna Elizabeth
  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Oh, terrible :(

    • ltmcdies

      ugh…that’s very sad news….

  • Count Awesome

    “Hawaii is barely a state. It’s never even tried to secede​.”
    –Sessions

  • Picabo
    • snark-lurker

      Rikers iland for jeff

      • calliecallie

        Guantanamo! That’s on an island also too.

    • therblig

      great movie.

    • wait! what?
  • Michael R

    Open thread ?
    Here’s a song you can roller skate to while on acid maybe
    ( Album released November 1966 )

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xvmo_NStvEw

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Eddie would go. Fuck you, Beauregard.

    • Juan de Fuca

      I do believe that’s my favorite comment of the week, just on principle.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Thx. I figured you, of all people, would get the reference.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I read this first as IQ, rather than 1Q. Both work, really.

    https://twitter.com/oppstn/status/855205693443497985

    • mackafritz

      Nobody likes you.
      Everybody hates you.
      Why don’t you eat some worms!

      • Pinkham’s Law

        In Russia, worms eat you! Seems a better outcome.

        • wait! what?

          Especially in Chernobyl.

  • geoffalnutt

    Beauregard was apparently home schooled…poorly.

  • Picabo

    Jeff Sessions is as useless as taste buds on an anus.

    • snark-lurker

      that is beyond the pale! uncalled for. outragous.

      • Picabo

        Please report me to Dok. I’m sure he’ll LOL.

    • not_vh

      oh my.

    • Anna Rompage

      Not to step on any toes, but Jeff Sessions is as useless as taste bud on a filthy, dirty, disgustingly unwashed, Klingon encrusted anus….

    • DainBramage

      …as useless as handles on a head. Oh wait, those are his ears?

    • Meccalopolis

      Tits on a boar

    • Yr. Gma

      I never gave any thought to that concept before. What would be the evolutionary advantage of an anus with taste buds? Picabo giving me something else to think about…

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Taste buds on a penis?

      • therblig

        when someone tries to insult you by saying “your taste is in your ass”, you can reply, “go on”

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Between the propaganda and the shooting in Paris today, French elections have me nervous.

    https://twitter.com/selectedwisdom/status/855021097284239360
    https://twitter.com/AP/status/855207802217869313

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Plays right into Le Pen’s hand, yeah?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        that’s the idea

        • ltmcdies

          I suspect why ISIS is claiming they did it. Pretty rapid response for them

  • tehbaddr

    “Poi Holloi” Why I’ll let you know I’ve never partaken in that mushy starch substance! Harrumph!

  • Shibusa

    From Slate: ‘Seriously. What would Hawaii know about people who want to attack America?’

    • unclejeems

      You’ve got to be kidding.

      • Shibusa

        Pretty sure it was kidding.

  • Puck

    I was just thinking about that Alex Jones custody trial thing… so i’m assuming it’s in Texas, where he lives, and weed is not legal there. Isn’t kinda fucking stupid to admit to a judge then that you do use? I mean I know i’m talking Jones and logic here but seriously wtf dude…

    • TJ Barke

      He’s white.

      • Puck

        True, but I still think it’s a pretty stupid thing to admit to in a custody hearing. The whole weed taboo thing, especially with a Texas judge.

    • Anna Rompage

      IOKIYAR

      • Puck

        Idk if hes a Republican though. More just… batshit crazy. Yeah I know splitting hairs there lol.

    • Jenny

      It is also Austin. White people with weed are ok.

    • Edith Prickly

      Alex Jones’ cross-examination in his 10-day custody trial began today with an unusual question:

      “You haven’t had any chili this morning, have you, Mr. Jones?”

      “Is that a serious question?” Jones shot back.

      FUCKING GOLD.

      https://www.buzzfeed.com/charliewarzel/alex-jones-testimony?utm_term=.oknXz5PAV#.cs8pQXylP

      • Puck

        So chili causes memory loss. K, got it.

      • Doug Langley

        I think it’s really gross the way his lawyer drinks Maalox straight from the bottle.

        • Edith Prickly

          are we sure it’s Maalox?

          • Doug Langley

            They won’t let him bring the hard stuff into the courtroom.

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    Sneaky cops are sneaky!

    Undercover #420 operations are in place. Discreet traps have been set up throughout the city today. #Happy420 pic.twitter.com/Jo8mh0Z5lQ— Wyoming, MN Police (@wyomingpd) April 20, 2017

  • Hey ladies and gentlemen. Want to feel something “down there” (Your heart, you pervs!)

    Behold a pictoral epitome of Elizabeth Warren:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/370f02b352680059d4d04275c561734c97dc2822e2d89047b272f030c12832b4.jpg

  • CriticalDragon1177

    Off course the right loves to talk about “small government,” but obviously they don’t love “small government” enough if they fail to understand why we need to courts to be able to do something like this.

  • Jamoche

    Lucky 10K moment

    The coffee-colored water, rich with sediment, runs down from the Andes Mountains on the Rio Solimões. The black-tea water from the Colombian hills and interior jungles is nearly sediment-free and colored by decayed leaf and plant matter; it bears the name Rio Negro. Where the two rivers meet, east of Manaus, Brazil, they flow side by side within the same channel for several kilometers. The cooler, denser, and faster waters of the Solimões and the warmer, slower waters of the Negro form a boundary visible from space and from the water surface itself. Turbulent eddies driven by the faster-moving whitewater eventually mix the two, as they merge to become the Lower Amazon River.

    https://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/IOTD//view.php?id=79111
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0hS0uwMmfE

  • Juan de Fuca

    I really am amazed that a judge sitting on an island in the Pacific can issue an order that stops the President of the United States from what appears to be clearly his statutory and Constitutional power.

    I wonder if he’s also amazed that a Navy Admiral sitting on the same island in the Pacific can be responsible for the largest unified combatant command (USPACOM) in the U.S. military? A command that is responsible for the defense of over half the earth’s surface?

    I wonder if he’s even been to Oahu? I’m going to assume he has, so I’ll chalk it up to the fact he’s a dipshit.

    • Anna Rompage

      The only Oahu he’s done is
      Oh, ahhhhh, who?

      • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

        Dirk Gently reference, FTW!

  • Jennifer R

    I guess Fox News must have a person who’s whole job is signing sexual harassment payments. https://mediamatters.org/video/2017/04/19/fox-host-tells-colleague-she-giving-america-erection/216110

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      WTF????

      • Jennifer R

        Hey, looking at Alies and O’Reily, you get about twice what the victim does as a severance package. It’s really just a rational business choice. Money on the table if you don’t harass them really.

  • Marceline

    Of all the things I hate about life under Trump, having this ferret-faced, racist dickbag as AG is tone of the two worst. The other is Gorsuch. Fuck everyone who helped make this happen especially those on the left.

    • Jennifer R

      I hate the defamation ferrets have to put up with. They have adorable little overbites and spy like faces. They just want plastic bags to hide under the couch!

      • ariel_gee_398

        I prefer to call them ROUSes. http://princessbride.wikia.com/wiki/R.O.U.S.

        • Jennifer R

          Not rodents!

          • ariel_gee_398

            I meant the Republicans, not ferrets.

      • Marceline

        Understood. But I hear they stink. Is that true?

        • Jennifer R

          You should have them descented when you have them fixed. And give them a bath with ferret shampoo once a month or so. Most of them like water so it should be easy to get them in.

        • Lambsendbeds

          No! Absolutely not ! They do have a rather musk-y scent that I love. It’s no worse than a lot of the smelly stuff people anoint themselves with.

          • tehbaddr

            Lambsendbeds has been cheesing off ferrets!

        • Puck

          They do have a bit of a smell, but honestly it’s not that bad (if desented) and you do get used to it.

      • Keith Taylor

        Yes. I prefer to call these people hyenas.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      DeVos sticks in my craw, but Gorsuck is gonna be a thorn under my mixed methaphorical saddle for way longer. Honestly, we’ve got and surfeit of things to hate most.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        And that EPA guy. Damnit! Our FOUR worst appointments are Pruitt, DeVos, Gorsuch, Sessions, and Rick Perry. FUCK. Our FIVE worst appointments are…

  • ♚ King Leo ♚

    Did we miss this little nugget from the Alex Jones mess?
    “Alex Jones testifies he smokes marijuana to “monitor its strength,” adds it’s now too strong because of George Soros”

    https://twitter.com/oliverdarcy/status/855124173689163776

    • TJ Barke

      The man is fucking unhinged…

      • ♚ King Leo ♚

        This marijuana made me TOO HIGH! Damn your sorcerous Globalist ways, George Soros!

        • TJ Barke

          It can’t be the simple fact that stoners want more potent weed, no, it has to be a globalist plot…

          • Puck

            Isn’t the quality of weed getting better just a “free market thing”? Ah, nvm. Looking for consistency with these peoples beliefs.

          • Kooolest G

            isn’t vodka like 30 times stronger than beer? maybe if the super soros kush is too strong you could just smoke less of it?

          • Puck

            Well now you’re just thinking logically about things silly.

    • DainBramage

      So, he’s admitting that he’s brain damaged.

    • Yr. Gma

      Then stop buying Soros weed, moron.

      • ♚ King Leo ♚

        that’s just what They want you to do!

      • Puck

        I would totally try Soros weed.

      • Jenny

        Someone is going to name a new strain Soros.

        • TJ Barke

          If my grow op was up and running I’d be on it.

    • Puck

      Just posted something downthread about that and had forgotten about the Soros thing. Soros, the liberal bogyman that’s behind everything.

      • ♚ King Leo ♚

        I kinda hope someone brings this to Soros’ attention, because I feel this is probably the funniest one.

        • Puck

          I just honestly don’t get the rage boner for Soros. Like, what is it he’s done? Put some money towards liberal causes? So fucking what. All I have to say to that is the Koch bros. Hypocrites.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Motherfucker’s even crazier than I thought. Sure hope he gets custody of his kids.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Apparently everything he does is an act, so he doesn’t really want custody or visitation rights. If he did, would he be saying these things?

    • OrG

      Thanks,Soros!

    • Edith Prickly

      Oh, so THAT’s what Soros uses to pay all those protestors!

      “Will carry a sign for Soros weed”

    • Puck

      I guess Soros has been pro weed legalization for a while, a quick google search shows some stuff about Uruguay, so maybe that’s what this is about? I don’t fucking know, translating crazy is hard.

    • RobespierreHoo

      Too bad good ol Jerry Garcia is not around to partake of some Soros Gold. Jerry always called exceptional herb “polio pot”, as it had to leave him immobile on the floor.

    • Jenny

      So if this asshole still walks away with joint custody, will the red pill fucks shrivel up and die?

      Probably not. He will be hailed as a conquering hero.

  • calliecallie

    It cannot be soon enough that these fucking assholes go to jail, IMHO. AOT,K.

  • Moebym Reborn

    Nothing like a reminder that the Trump Administration is still in office and still doing dastardly deeds to ruin an otherwise nice day.

    I was actually a responsible adult today, initiating the process of rolling my employer-sponsored 401(k) into an IRA about a year after I should have, doing some cleaning around the house, sending in paperwork for my job, and exceeding my step goal.

  • Contemplative Ron

    Well, THAT was interesting. I wonder if there’s another storm behind it? Horizon’s looking a lot darker than any sensible person would prefer.

  • Shanzgood

    WTF!!! I can’t get here except by Dick-suck previous posts!

    • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

      Oh my. Dear. I . . . I’m really quite speechless.

    • Anna Rompage

      Did your gov skid mark fuck with the intewebs or something?

      • Shanzgood

        I have no idea.

    • Picabo

      Are you OK?

      • Shanzgood

        I dunno. Maybe.

        • Picabo

          Hugs.

    • tehbaddr

      Uuummm. At your service?

  • aktlib101

    OT: “Stroke and dementia risk linked to low-sugar drinks, study finds
    Drinking a can of diet soft drink a day associated with almost three times higher risk, say researchers – but critics warn against causal connection”
    Drinking chemicals could have adverse consequences? Who knew?
    https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/apr/20/stroke-and-dementia-risk-linked-to-low-sugar-drinks-study-finds

    • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

      Nonsense. Weird chemicals are so much better for you than sugar.

      • aktlib101

        Does Von Clownstick drink diet Coke? He doesn’t drink alcohol, so…is that why his brain seems fried?

        • Michael R

          Trump’s father had Alzheimers for many years .

        • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

          One of the things I really cannot believe is that people drink diet sodas. They are just disgusting.

          • Puck

            Eh, I get it. I’ll have one maybe once every 2 months or so cause i’m diabetic and watch my sugar intake. It’s just kinda something you get used to. There is a thing I drink almost daily that has Stevia in it but I don’t think iv’e heard anything bad about that sweetener.

          • eggsacklywright

            Ask Lydia.

        • Jennifer R

          He does drink diet soda. He is on record saying that obesity is a personal character flaw. He likes to look like he cares about such things but really he is a hypocrite.

          • OrG

            McDonald’s order: 3 big macs,2 large fries an apple pie… and a diet coke.

          • Doug Langley

            In a 50 gallon drum.

      • OrG

        Weird chemicals rule!

      • not_vh

        i just had the most beautiful can of ginger ale you will ever see. that made up for not eating the most beautiful chocolate cake, since that has already been eaten.

        https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/e1/4d/90/e14d901fd97e5dfa938e05f7dcff42cf.jpg

    • Puck

      Wish they would have put in that article what artificial sweeteners the tested though.

    • Jennifer R

      I am all for slamming fake sugars, but chemicals shouldn’t be a scareword.

    • aktlib101

      Heh, was looking for that aricle in “Stroke” journal.
      http://stroke.ahajournals.org/content/early/2017/04/20/STROKEAHA.116.016027
      Just found that same authors have another article just published re: sugary drinks. Also makes sense.
      “Alzheimers Dement. 2017 Mar 6. pii: S1552-5260(17)30050-X. doi: 10.1016/j.jalz.2017.01.024. [Epub ahead of print]
      “Sugary beverage intake and preclinical Alzheimer’s disease in the community”
      https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28274718
      Their conclusion: Higher intake of sugary beverages was associated cross-sectionally with markers of preclinical Alzheimer’s Disease

      • SkinlessGenderlessMan

        Was there anything about fermented sugars? Maybe malt sugars? With hops….

    • ♚ King Leo ♚

      Correlation is not causation. People who drink diet soft drinks are likely to be overweight already, with all the associated health risks that brings.

      • aktlib101

        You’re right. Was the same with smoking, for oh, about 30 years. How did that turn out?

        • ♚ King Leo ♚

          Ah, so it’s a conspiracy. Got it.

  • LarryHoudini

    It’s not just “islands in the Pacific.” For me, any court ruling outside of the original 13 colonies is absolutely suspect. And yes Ernie Keebler Jr., that includes the brain-dead, diabetes-riddled shithole known as Alabama!
    Um . . . sorry, Alabama Wonkers. No offense intended! ; )

  • Shibusa

    Meanwhile, as Jefferson Beauregard Sessions blathers on about that uppity judge, his Justice Department does not have any U.S. attorneys in place.

    • Count Awesome

      “Who needs attorneys when I can just make executive orders.”
      –Trump

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    It’s late here, so gonna sign off and get in my jammies like these baby goats. G’nite all!
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RN50R3gycgo

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Awws! Have a great sleep! :)

  • Count Awesome

    Hawaii will have to create a new hula dance to tell the story of the court tossing the executive order.

  • Left Coast Tom
    • Jennifer R

      Is that before the civet eats it?

    • Count Awesome

      I think kona is better for blending than on it’s own.

  • Left Coast Tom
  • BMW

    When is the Trump Administration going to learn that the argumentum ad hominem is not a acceptable communications strategy/legal strategy/economic strategy/foreign policy strategy?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I’m not sure, but I anticipate it will be sometime around the heat death of the universe.

    • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

      It’s the entire RW thought process.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      You’re an ad hominem!!1

  • chascates

    Maybe it would be a good idea to keep a backup judge on say, Midway or Tinian, just in case Trump has judges rounded up.

    • georgiaburning

      Samoa might be safer

  • Picabo
  • Treg Brown
    • Count Awesome

      “I am not a crook’s accessory”

    • Al Swearengen

      Stone just stopped a billion people from ever smoking MJ again.

      It’d be so much fun to break it over his head.

    • jesterpunk

      Would I be a bad person for hoping Jefferson locks him up for that tweet?

      • Al Swearengen

        Retweet it to Stone’s local PD.

        • jesterpunk

          I dont have a twitter account or I would.

          • puredog

            Even Roger Stone should, in my opinion, be able to get stoned without being busted for it. Now, there may be other acts giving rise to probable cause, but that’s a different inquiry.

          • jesterpunk

            I dont smoke but generally I have no problems with people who do. Roger Stone however is an ass and he did support and help Trump get elected. Trump, John Kelly and Jeff Sessions all think pot is really dangerous, so him getting punished for something he helped cause wouldn’t be so bad.

      • Treg Brown

        Nope.
        Locking him up for any reason is a step in the right direction.

    • Puck

      I thought he just got suspended on twitter. Or that may have been before looking at the time.

      • Treg Brown

        You’re right!

        • Puck

          Huzzah! It can happen lol.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I am NOT putting my weed in that hole.

    • Red Bird Ω

      Wait! Roger Stone has a yorkie???!!!/??

  • memzilla Ω
    • not_vh

      lol.

    • HazooToo

      The password is “cock”

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Okay. Trump says Canada is “a disgrace”. Okay.

    • Rick Hill

      Well, yeah. Sitting up north like that’s something a decent country would do. Being quiet and sneaky, who knows what they’re up to.

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        *adjusts toque in suspicious manner*

        • TJ Barke

          We know you’re up to something, hosehead.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            IKR? Eh?

          • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

            https://youtu.be/sI4VXvn6Z5k?t=16

            You can insult our single payer healthcare, but you will have to take my hockey stick from my cold, dead hands.

      • Al Swearengen

        They’re waiting…always waiting…until our fingers get too fat to fit in the trigger guards of our guns…then Canada pounces!

        • Rick Hill

          It’s not a joke! Think about it, they are all polite now because it’s so cold up there. They have to cluster in large groups to conserve body heat, to keep from freezing. Makes them real nice so everyone will let them back in the next cold snap(usually around the end of July when winter starts again) With global warming they won’t have to do that and then they will sit round thinking of ways to make everyone else sorry, for a change…

          • Al Swearengen

            Plus, they’ll own our breadbasket when the Jet Stream moves north and the Midwest turns into the Texas Panhandle.

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        I’ve been cooking sausage and mushroom risotto and spaghetti with avocado sauce. Is that bad?

        • Doug Langley

          Avocado with sausage?? WHAT ARE YOU UP TO??????

        • janecita

          What is this avocado sauce you speak of?

          • Doug Langley

            Not entirely certain, but guessing it’s the byproduct of canning clams.

          • janecita

            You Monster!

          • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

            Since you asked:

            Spaghetti With Avocado Sauce

            Ingredients
            12 ounces spaghetti
            2 avocados–halved, pitted and peeled
            1 garlic clove, smashed
            1 bunch scallions, roughly chopped
            Juice of 1 lemon
            ¼ cup extra-virgin olive oil
            Salt and freshly ground black pepper
            ½ cup chopped parsley, for garnish

            Directions

            1. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add the spaghetti and cook until al dente, 6 to 8 minutes.
            2. While the pasta cooks, make the sauce: In the bowl of a food processor, pulse the avocados, garlic, scallions, lemon juice and olive oil until smooth.
            3. When the pasta is tender, reserve ½ cup of the cooking water, then drain the pasta. Add the reserved water to the avocado mixture and process until smooth.
            4. Add the sauce to the pasta and toss to coat. Season with salt and pepper. To serve, portion the pasta onto plates and garnish with parsley.

            *I sometimes add an ounce or two of dry white wine to the food processor. Parmesan cheese on top is nice too.*

          • janecita

            Thanks, I’m saving it! I love avocados!

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            That is awesome! My son can’t eat tomato sauce any more, I’ll give this to him.

            He also has the food processor he asked me to buy, which he never uses, so, double cool.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Yes, because I’m not there to perform quality control checks.

          • Rick Hill

            My wife does those. I say she’s eating but she insists it’s to ensure it’s seasoned just right

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Do NOT add peas. Nobody on this hemisphere likes peas.

      • jesterpunk

        They are also hiding all the great hockey players. Its so unfair Canada is better at hockey then the US and states like Florida and Arizona. SAD.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Sharpening their skates, waiting for a polite pause in conversation…WE’RE ON TO YOU!!!1!11!!

    • TJ Barke

      The fact that it’s superior to America in most ways is just details for nerds…

    • ariel_gee_398

      He’s just jealous of the way Ivanka looked at Justin.

    • janecita

      Just their disgraceful dairy farmers, they are bigly, tremendously terrible, believe me!

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Wisco actual outlaws foreign dairy. For obvious reasons ( big dairy).

    • Edith Prickly

      Takes one to know one…

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Don’t these Hawaiians realize they’re south of the of the Missouri Compromise’s 36°30′ parallel and are de facto part of the Confederacy?

  • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit
  • janecita

    OMG! Did Trump really say that, long dead Pavarotti, was a “great friend” of his? What a fucking moron!

    • not_vh

      it ain’t over till the fat one groans.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Trump has never had a real friend in his entire misbegotten life, the worthless prick.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      He’s planning on hosting Frederick Douglass for brunch at Mar-a-Lago next w/e.

      • janecita

        Susan B Anthony, will also be there.

        • tapp_my_wire,please

          Susan would be too old to pass his 35 y/o and under female age test.

          • janecita

            She is at best a 4, definitely not pussy grabbing material.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        They’re meeting at the Bowling Green Memorial.

  • Juan de Fuca
    • Persistent Demme

      Hilarious!!

      • Juan de Fuca

        I used to watch that news channel years ago and they really did have that carefree sense of humor, because Hawaii. It still cracks me up everytime I watch it.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Tonight’s forecast, dark. Turning to partly scattered light by morning.

  • Left Coast Tom

    So Trump now hates Canada as well? Here’s a picture of one small part of that “disgrace” (Kalthleen Lake, Yukon)

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/559cf6eda4a309ac068c15a77c57329c4c24814a1af6a54d38ef2b316bffad70.jpg

    • TJ Barke

      Needs moar development! Smog and SUVs and condos and clear cuts!

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Gross!!! Please accept my sympathy for your maple flavored plight. Thoughts and prayers, man.

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit
      • janecita

        That’s breath taking beautiful!

      • BadKitty904

        Dang, how long does it take to mow that?

    • Edith Prickly

      He can hate all he wants, as long as he stays on the south side of the border…

  • Me The People

    http://occupydemocrats.com/2017/04/20/sarah-palin-just-victim-shamed-women-bill-oreilly-harassed/

    Sarah Palin with the victim shaming, what a scumbag:

    “At the same time if a woman believes that she is being intimidated and
    harassed, she needs to stand up and do something about it, not
    stick around for a paycheck for years and years and years, and
    then after the fact complain about what she went through.”

    • Edith Prickly

      Fuck off, Lady Quitterface.

    • OrG

      Or they could be like sarah and quit.

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        And Ivanka, lest we forget.

    • Edith Prickly

      I believe filing a lawsuit counts as standing up and doing something, but then I’m not a meth-addled alcoholic floozie who hasn’t had a real job since 2009…

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      IIRC, some of them did. And FOX News didn’t do anything because a) Ailes was the big boss and b) BillO was the golden goose. And yeah, the advice of “Just quit” is the advice of someone who doesn’t give a shit but wants to act morally superior anyway.

      • Little Doll–MOAMF

        “Just quit” is the advice of anyone who has never had to worry about being able to pay the rent.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I don’t wonder that Jefferson Beauregard Starsnbars Klanhumper Sessions is sniffish about Hawaii. In the 1950s, the opposition to statehood for Hawaii was led by Southern segregationists who were appalled by all the nonwhites living there, and horrified by all the mixed-race inhabitants. Miscegenation, don’t y’all know.

    • puredog

      Thanks for this intel! Makes perfect sense. The things I learn from Wonkworld.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    I just started watching Spectre, the 007 movie. It’s free on Prime, and I haven’t seen any of Daniel Craig as 007 before, but I’m impressed. He reminds me of the feel in Ian Fleming’s novels. Almost thuggish, tough, brutal.

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      Personally, I’m holding out for Idris Elba.

      It will finally make canon the theory that 007/James Bond is just a code name, after the former Bond dies in action (or retires).

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I love the idea, and Idris Elba will be a super cool, and Gorgeous 007.

      • janecita

        My boyfriend Idris, is good at everything he does. I can’t wait for “The Dark Tower!”

    • Nounverb911
      • Anna Elizabeth

        Yiss! Connery is my favorite. “Sho, Moneypenny, Have you sheen the beasht?”

        • BadKitty904
          • Anna Elizabeth

            “Mr. Bond, perhaps you’d like to sleep with my Mistress while I explain the details of my intricate plot to take over the world?”

            I gotta say, in Spectre – 007 just shot 2 men dead as casually as I put on lipstick. There is something chilling about Craig’s portrayal.

          • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

            I bet that nowadays, most people see Ernst Blofeld and think “So that’s where they got Dr. Evil’s look from.”

      • Me The People

        Sean Connery is the best Bond.

        • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

          Sean Connery is the ONLY real Bond. After he left, the movies turned into a series of gimmicks (and that includes the Daniel Craig movies).

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Oh, 30 minutes in: Q Branch Aston-Martin DB7. What a machine! XD

  • Picabo
    • Bitter Scribe

      Goddamn, that was BEAUTIFUL!

    • Vecchioivan

      Gott in Himmel!

    • Brad H
      • cmd resistor

        Nice!

    • cmd resistor

      Someday I would like to be in a cool flashmob. This is one of the greats.

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      Alex the Droog would love that.

      Would that Jeffy had Alex’s honesty and morality.

  • Count Awesome

    When will Trump learn. The executive order would not have been tossed if he made a sacrifice to the volcano God.

  • Red Bird Ω

    Overnight thread thoughts: I’m glad we have one. It’s been one of the best developments from the rise of the Orange Empire. You always get something interesting to read.

    • Nick Scroggs

      The Orange Empire? I think Operator No. 5 fought them off back in the 30s.

      • Red Bird Ω

        Donnie Dementia, then.

  • Nick Scroggs

    I can’t believe I forgot about thisfilm, I think it just might explain Trump voters. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gabriel_Over_the_White_House

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    OK, everybody has had fun pointing out that Jeff Sessions is bad at Laws and Geography with that “island in the Pacific” comment., but… since some of us are bagging on Hawaii (the state, and not the island), let me just say this…

    “Interstate” Highway H-1 on Oahu is an oxymoron.

    http://www.hawaiihighways.com/H-1-BGS-xl.jpg

    • Left Coast Tom

      Well, true, but it’s still longer, and less offensive to Highway Numbering Purists than California’s 2-mile I-238 (there is no I-38 from which a “238” could loop)…

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        H-1 is not only not a real :”interstate” highway; it doesn’t even connect to any other island, not even by proxy via merging with some other highway.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          Last time I was on the H-1, I went from a state of frustration to inebriation. (I was on a bus.) So to me, it counts as “real” interstate.

          That, and it surely gets funding from the same pot as the rest of the Eisenhower system.

    • not_vh

      interstate is a state of mind. specifically, it is the state between being excited and frustrated, and typically caused by being stuck on road designed federal highway specifications.

    • not_vh

      in any case that road is still broader than sessions’ narrow single track mind.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Ahh…I used to live off the Middle St. exit on Oahu at Fort Shafter. Ran under that overpass many times for morning PT. Also found it funny the H-1 was part of the Eisenhower interstate system of roads in America but it is a state. Don’t ever question it with a local.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        inter = between, intra = within.

        Interstate = connects two or more states.

        • Juan de Fuca

          I’m gonna go out on a really short limb and guess two things:

          1) You don’t live in Hawaii
          2) You haven’t spend much time there

  • Nounverb911

    Isn’t Alabama in the middle of Dumbfuckistan?

    • jesterpunk

      Pretty sure its the capital of Dumbfuckistan.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Mobile is kind of nice. So is Gulf Shores. Huntsville has educated folks.

      • Wild Cat

        Lotta great ballplayers used to come out of Mobile.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          It’s nice. And Huntsville has one of the highest per-capita populations of PhDs. Because NASA.

          It’s a lot of the rest of Alabama you have to watch out for.

          • Wild Cat

            It’s ironic because the African-American ballplayers I watched as a kid grew up dirt poor. I always thought Mobile was impoverished, but it seems to have smothered only the Usual Victims.

      • BadKitty904

        Mobile also has some fabu seafood joints. Or did ’til Exxon killed the Gulf of Mexico.

      • cmd resistor

        A coworker retired to Gulf Shores and it actually sounds like a nice place.

    • Picabo

      Well. . . there is a Sleepy Eye, Minnesota.
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleepy_Eye,_Minnesota

    • Rick Hill

      Just read that the legislature just authorized a mega church to have their own police force. Bets on how long till there are suits brought alleging abuse of power, misconduct and sexual abuse? I say 1 1/2 years

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        After they stop suppressing the attempts at lawsuits. 10 years actual time.

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      Every southern state competes to be the biggest embarrassment.

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        They’re all jealous of Florida.

  • Nounverb911
    • Msgr_MΩment

      “…but enough about my love life.”

      • Me The People

        It would be irresponsible not to draw the conclusion that this is in fact an attempt to hide a particularly weird romantic abnormality in plain sight.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      CHAFFETZ on a scandal coming: No. “I’ve been given more enemas by more people over the last eight years than you can possibly imagine.”

      Not really interested in what you do for fun, shitstain.

    • Puck

      Is that a typo or did he really say that?

    • BadKitty904

      Well, he was raised Jewish, but converted to Mormonism in college.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Because he decided he could live without caffeine but not without bacon-wrapped scallops.

        • BadKitty904

          Because Jews are too smart to fall for his grifting.

    • Steely_Fan

      Every time I think the political discourse can’t get any lower… every single fucking time.

    • Dazza

      Oh, Jason – whatever floats your boat, honey.
      Who knew Mormons were into kink?

  • Sophia

    Ooh, he frowned at them. That’ll show them

    Mike Pence thinks mean-mugging at North Korea might deter nuclear aggression
    In lieu of an armed armada, the VP deployed a withering glare.

    https://thinkprogress.org/mike-pence-dmz-mean-mugging-4416f20192f9

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      It was not so much “withering” as “gassy”.

      • Rick Hill

        “Don’t think about all these handsome soldiers, don’t think about all these handsome soldiers….”

    • Rick Hill
    • cmd resistor

      Sometimes Mr. CMD will glare at a stupid person on the road, before or after showing them the finger, and I always think, yeah, that will stop them from being an asshole, for sure.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      But, that’s Mike’s happy face. Just don’t bring up the gayz or ‘bortions.

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      Where o where has my armada gone?
      Where o where can it be?
      Maybe it’s in the Sea of Japan
      Or maybe in Gay Paree!

      Vive la France!

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Rachel is on talking Nigerian slush funds. Expecting her to plant a sensible shoe up Exxon’s azz when she finishes her wind up.

  • Dg Hacket
  • Anna Rompage

    Yay, the cherries are finally blooming, and from the looks of it, I might gat a good harvest this year!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a2fffe95518a9e44a9d687616a0c2b9f7e98a0652f12a080edbdd4dd2dec786b.jpg

    • BadKitty904

      Can she bake a cherry pie,
      Billy-boy, Billy-boy?
      Can she bake a cherry pie,
      Charmin’ Billy?

    • Little Doll–MOAMF

      Yummy!

  • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit
    • TJ Barke

      That’s fair.

  • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

    Let me just put it thusly:

    Hawaii is more inhabitable than Alabama. Maybe that’s why the Keebler Elf disses it.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, the Keebler Elf is from Alabama.

      I rest my case.

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        Inbreeding will tell.

  • BadKitty904
    • BadKitty904

      And yes, that’s Ringo Starr singing along with Redbone…

  • Nephilim

    Everyone lighten up and let our Attorney General violate the constitution. /s

    • BadKitty904

      “Our”?

      • Nephilim

        My bad.

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      What you mean “we” Kemosabe?

  • FDRliberal

    “I really am amazed that a judge sitting on an island in the Pacific can issue an order that stops the President of the United States from what appears to be clearly his statutory and Constitutional power.”— Jeff Sessions

    It’s called a “state” you worthless Confederate asshole.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      William Tecumseh Sherman really should have taken a brief detour into Alabama and removed these genes from the pool when the iron was hot.

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        He was on his way to North Carolina when the war ended. Another 6 months was all he needed.

    • not_vh

      i forget the name of an alabama chief justice (moore or something) who had his panties in a twist over civil rights recently. until they decided to relieve him of his misery and let him suspend. i wonder what our man who had to recuse himself had to say about that.

      • FDRliberal

        You must mean suspended “Justice” Roy Moore, the fundamentalist nutcase.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Yep, the Alabama Supreme Court just ruled that his “suspension” was legal and above board.

  • Nounverb911
  • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit
  • Nounverb911
    • Opalescent Riddles

      Just fucking put a lien on it, seize it and auction it off. Two problems solved.

  • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

    Donald Trump’s first words to the Italian Prime Minister, “Bitch, where’s my money?”
    Trump jabs Italian PM Gentiloni on meeting financial NATO obligation
    http://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2017/04/20/Trump-jabs-Italian-PM-Gentiloni-on-meeting-financial-NATO-obligation/7261492693309/?utm_source=fp&utm_campaign=lh&utm_medium=2

    • jesterpunk

      Ok i have almost the full board, just need Russia to win.

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      After the shakedown he tried on Merkel, Trump clearly thinks he’s running a protection racket.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Nice Colosseum you got there, be a shame if I irradiated it.

      • BadKitty904

        And failing miserably at doing so.

  • Left Coast Tom

    NASA Link on the SIerra snowpack.

    Two cool things…

    1) The JPL has developed a way to measure the Sierra snowpack from the air, greatly increasing the accuracy of water supply projections.

    2) Backpacking season will be somewhat challenging this year as there’s a massive amount of snow… “In much of the Central Sierra, snow lies 25 feet deep (8 meters). In
    some high mountain basins, it’s deeper than 80 feet (24 meters). And
    since April 1, it has continued to snow.”

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      From what I’ve been told, if all the snow above the Reno-Sparks area were to melt all at once, it would cover the entire Truckee Meadows basin with six feet of water

      • Left Coast Tom

        I can actually believe it, now that Tahoe is very close to it’s max height and therefore providing no flood protection downstream.

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      Yep, The PCT will not be passable for most thru hikers.

      • puredog

        Cheryl Strayed Sequel!

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    Copying from the Masters is good practice for any painter, so here’s the copy I just finished of John Singer Sargent’s portrait of Henry James. I’m personally not a big fan of either of them, but my wife is. So I make a gift of it to her and I get practice at master-copying plus big brownie points from the wife. Pretty sweet deal.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6e764cfadf40088ea831749d6ff4a186b6fd9e3ee0b807ca7d69e0202ac0192b.jpg

  • Nounverb911

    I feel so much safer with air marshals on board…..
    https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/855209720919019521

    • jesterpunk

      Its ok they are good guys with guns, everyone knows its bad guys with guns that are a problem. Its really easy to tell the 2 apart too, see this chart.

      https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c4/a6/5f/c4a65fa088642fa52d14f8fc71943e54.jpg

      • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

        Also need a militia on the plane in case they become tyrannical.

        • HazooToo

          Did you know that according to some douche on Twitter, boarding an airplane means you suspend any and all rights as an American citizen?

          • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

            Only if you have failed to capitalize your name correctly and declare yourself an idiot.

          • HazooToo

            Or if your boarding pass has a gold fringe on it.

          • Thaumaturgist

            That certainly is true in economy. First class, however, you’re good to go

    • BadKitty904

      Because guns in a pressurized cabin hurtling along, thousands of feet up in the air, is always a good idea…

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      At home I always leave my damn phone in the bathroom due to having taken it out of my pocket.

      I’d assume these guys have shoulder holsters?

  • Reality Killswitch

    “… not the Ninth Circuit ….”

    Not the Ninth Circuit, that’s for sure!

  • Nounverb911
    • janecita

      Damn, those two look so alike!

    • Nick Scroggs

      Remember, wimp rhymes with limp.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        And Reek rhymes with leek.

    • aktlib101

      He’s not talking about Chimpy. It could also be dementia.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      That old man did not write that tweet himself. I feel bad for him. Sometimes we keep people alive way too long.

      • Wild Cat

        He killed many innocent humans. He’s as big a shit as his son and his political party.

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          Yeah, but the that guy doesn’t exist anymore. That shell of a human receiving way too much medical care just ain’t the same guy.

          Though I would argue, if I were in the mood to argue, which I’m not, that Reagan and Jr. were far worse than Bush I. And, yes, the party should burn in hell. More so every day.

          • Wild Cat

            Bush I ran most of Reagan’s presidency due to Reagan’s dementia. Atrocities were committed.

            I agree about euthanasia. It’s often merciful.

    • mailman27

      Yeah, well.

  • nightmoth

    For Lowregard:
    Maybe I’m amazed at the way you pulled me out of time,
    You hung me on the line.
    Maybe I’m amazed at how much I want to slap you.

    • efoveks

      Nice! Also, I’m stealing “Lowregard”.

  • Nounverb911

    I bet she’s opening a new store.

    https://twitter.com/business/status/855075877117452288

    • BadKitty904

      She looks almost life-life in that photo.

      • janecita

        She never looks life-like.

    • Picabo

      What is an official visit? Show your work.

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        Exactly – the fucking Establishment is full-on normalising the kleptocracy.

    • aktlib101

      As what? First Lady?

    • Rick Hill

      Special envoy Ivanka and special envoy Jared. It’s going to come to that, the only ones he will trust are family. I wonder how long those two will keep that pace up

    • Bill D. Burger

      To promote her new line of perfume:

      http://www.mimifroufrou.com/scentedsalamander/images/forgiveness_perfume_bottle_Krafft_Charles.jpg

      And jewelry:
      https://sociorocketnewsen.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/sn-4.png?w=580&h=435

      Alt right approved!
      “Daddy loves it!” ___ “Jared knows to be silent.”

      • HazooToo

        Okay, wait, what the hell is the perfume? I tried to google it and that was no help at all.

    • mailman27

      Are we paying for this? I’m on a fixed income. FFS

  • mailman27

    They’re gonna get away with it. They’re gonna get away with everything.

    • BadKitty904

      Not unless we let them.

      • boll ocks

        This is right. “We” including a bunch of dickbags, of course.

      • snark-lurker

        just like “we” let bushco get away with all the war crimes, and crimes against humanity?

        • janecita

          Exactly!

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Popular opinion still matters. We’ve won some really important victories.if it hadn’t been for those calls and town hall meetings, the ACA probably would gave been repealed and replaced with that pos Trumpcare by now.

      • Delu

        Yup, like how America let Trump.

    • janecita

      Of course they will, they always do!

      • mailman27

        The good news is Ossof in Georgia. The non-news is Tom Price’s almost undoubtedly illegal donations that have a direct
        bearing on his cabinet appointment. MSM? No comment.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      I’m reading down this, sorted by newest. For a moment I thought you were saying those people who bagged and labelled corncobs as onions were going to get away with it. “And you might be right!” I thought.

  • memzilla Ω
    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      I blame those pesky onion ninjas.

      • vivian

        That’s corny.

  • Shibusa

    The woman leading the Justice Department’s investigation of foreign meddling into the 2016 election and possible ties between the Trump campaign and Russia will leave the department in May. This can’t be good. http://www.npr.org/2017/04/20/524905899/leader-of-justice-department-national-security-division-on-the-way-out?live=1

    • snark-lurker

      she must have been doin her jerb too gooder

    • HazooToo

      There is a chance she was holding up progress. But that chance is lowered considerably by how no one is firing her for being corrupt, so I’m not reassured.

      • snark-lurker

        no, not fired–she just took an offer she couldn’t refuse (IMHO)

    • Meccalopolis

      Ze plot, it thickens?

  • Picabo

    Follow Malcolm Nance every chance you can get. Good night.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Night

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    If Hawaii had been a real state it would have joined the Confederacy.
    /s

    • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

      It was a kingdom, because Obama. Figures.

  • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

    Help! I’ve fallen down a 90’s music rabbit hole and can’t get up!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilKcXIFi-Rc

  • Bill D. Burger

    No, There’s Still No Zombie Trumpcare Deal

    The president is desperate for one, though.

    By Jim Newell
    4/20/2017
    The White House seems to think that it’s on the shoals of victory on health care. This comes as Freedom Caucus Chairman Rep. Mark Meadows and Tuesday Group Co-chairman Rep. Tom MacArthur neared an agreement this week to try to sell to their colleagues. There was no sign on Thursday, however, that this agreement would be enough to corral the 216 votes necessary to revive the long presumed dead health care bill.

    http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2017/04/no_there_s_still_no_deal_to_resuscitate_trumpcare.html

    White House efforts continue: “Get up and run, goddammit’! You’re a bigly winner and I’m betting on you. I win. It’s what I do. We’re almost across the finish line. Get up! Get up!”
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a02a847c0d175a668e1cd8c6431255128ca7a569e0135be49da87a6fefd38119.gif

    • Left Coast Tom

      shoals of victory

      Isn’t that what the Exxon Valdez ran into in 1989?

  • Me not sure

    I just got back from a cajun-a-palooza gumbo fest and crawfish boil.What’s this I’m seeing about a Maddow-gasm that has been going on?

  • Jennifer R

    China is preparing their bombers and air to ground aircraft.

  • ♚ King Leo ♚
    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      I’m now convinced of the dementia theory.

      • Major_Major_Major

        Gonhosyphilmentia, turns out his personal ‘Nam may have not left him unwounded.

        • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

          His “personal Holocaust”, new guidelines.

          • Major_Major_Major

            Holocaust centers is his new nickname for his swimsuit area.

      • jowgajen
      • ♚ King Leo ♚

        Would explain why he keeps calling Paul Ryan “Ron”.

        • HazooToo

          His name IS Ron. I don’t know who this “Paul” guy is, but he’s nowhere near the cravenly chickenshit that Ron Ryan is.

    • Delu

      Was he also a good friend of Marco Polo?

    • jesterpunk

      I am impressed Trump knows who Pavorotti is, he just learned Lincoln was a republican and who Susan B Anthony and Frederick Douglass are.

      • ♚ King Leo ♚

        Trump probably remembers the name from last year, when Pavarotti’s widow asked him to stop using Pavarotti’s music.

      • ♚ King Leo ♚

        Also there’s no evidence that he has more than a cursory knowledge of either of those people. If you skimmed the Wikipedia article you’d know more than Trump.

        • puredog

          If you’ve even heard of Wikipedia, you know more than Trump.

      • Apple Scruff

        He just knows that Pavarotti is famous. That is all. And he wants to be associated with famous people. He is the ultimate star fucker.

  • chascates

    Here’s a very interesting read of how Rightwing Got To Crazy by excellent Wonkette alum Alex Pareene:
    https://fusion.net/the-long-lucrative-right-wing-grift-is-blowing-up-in-t-1793944216

    • HazooToo

      I want the universe to see that. I want it to be engraved in titanium and sent into space, as a warning to alien civilizations.

  • Suttree

    Ok. I just watched the final 2 episodes of The Expanse. Gah! I don’t want to have to wait until 2018 for more!

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      I know how you feel!

  • ~ ☆ míkhαílα ☆ ~ 【忠実反抗】

    Fun Fact! “Jeff Sessions” in ‘Ōlelo Hawai’i means “dumbass haole”.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c98b15286799c947f4de7ab3b71d734937fc8e2f4a8a8736c6e99fa7ffd3a495.jpg

  • Bill D. Burger

    In response to the despicable site of the white trash (Palin, Nugent, Kid Rock..etc.) standing mockingly under a portrait of former First Lady Hillary Clinton in the White House, former Obama White House photographer Pete Souza posted this remarkable visual retort on his Instagram page.
    He entitled it: “BEING RESPECTFUL”

    Perfect!

    http://cdn.washingtonexaminer.biz/cache/730×420-666015c2d5907d80d7491f577565fe50.jpg

    • ~ ☆ míkhαílα ☆ ~ 【忠実反抗】

      So much class… 😢

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Trailer trash don’t know what “respectful” mean.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Just compare and contrast with THIS:
      (This trio, this putrid gaggle of human garbage, is representative of what has infected our government and our lives.)

      http://thehill.com/sites/default/files/styles/thumb_small_article/public/article_images/screen_shot_2017-04-20_at_8.15.58_pm.png?itok=5_DU6d5q

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Surprised she didn’t pull her mobile home up on the White House lawn and get down to some good ol’ methlbilly drinkin’ and brawlin’.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          it’s probably up on blocks in her front yard in Wasilla

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Along with a few old washing machines and a cathode ray tv or two.

      • janecita

        They are just jealous, because they know that their combined IQ is still lower than Hillary’s.

        • Shoto

          They are just jealous, because they know that their combined IQ is still lower than Hillary’s room temperature.

          Went ahead and fixed it for you.

    • OrG

      Well,raygun deserves no respect.

  • Keith Taylor

    This humble person feels unworthy suspicion that Attorney General Sessions may be repelled by Hawaii because the state has been scene of exotic racial mixing for many generations. Even more disgusting is manifest fact that this racial mixing has resulted in existence of many persons more attractive than Jefferson Beauregard Sessions.
    Excuse please. THE THIRD? Have there indeed been two others like him?

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      The Turd.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      No, the Mk. 1 and Mk. 2 were even worse

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Generations of marrying sisters and 1st cousins tends to produce unattractive offspring.

    • Left Coast Tom

      My only response is that you appear to have misspelled “reasonable suspicion”.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Tropical miscegenation is the work of libruls and Satan.

    • Juan de Fuca

      This Italian/haole American married an Asian American from Oahu and fast forward 20 years, I’m working a civilian job with other white guys and girls who married people from Pacific Islands, overseas, people from different races right here in America. When we were stationed in Australia, the thing we liked the most in your major cities was the cosmopolitan thing, the different mix of races within those areas. You see the same thing in our major cities.

      The World is changing and some people just don’t want to accept it.

      • Keith Taylor

        Including some Australians. We have our share of ignorant mugs who drape themselves in Australian flags (often while soused to the gills and chugging more beer), start fights, abuse Asians on public transport, and generally act like obnoxious dopes or worse. We call them bogons and wish they’d stop embarrassing us. But things have improved and that damned White Australia policy is a thing of the past, anyhow. I agree, the much greater degree of ethnic mixture in our cities is a huge improvement over the days of my childhood (I’m 70) when almost the only non-whites apart from aborigines (wholly ignored) were Chinese market gardeners. Yep, Australia has changed, and not before time. Glad you enjoyed your visit here. Hope you come back.

        • Juan de Fuca

          Thank you and I will indeed. It was more than a visit though as I somehow managed to be stationed there for seven years. It got to the point the U.S. Embassy in Canberra told my commander – “He can’t extend again. He either leaves Australia or retires from active duty and becomes a citizen.”

          My daughter still has an Aussie accent because she was raised through her primary school years in Australia.

          You folks are good people. You have your share of rednecks just like every other place in the world but good people overall, again – just like every other place. I still wonder if I should’ve retired there. I surfed the best wave in the world for seven years straight after knocking off from work in Oz and still can’t another surf break like it in California.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    My least favorite part of searching for answers on forums is people who say “I don’t know anything about that but what you say is wrong and impossible”, especially when what is “wrong and impossible” is very common and widely acknowledged as a thing.

    Unrelated, the casing of my laptop broke around the bottom left corner (the hinges seem to be too tight) and I don’t have the time to send it in for repairs so as a temporary measure, I’m going to replace the glue in that spot and hope it holds up for a few months. Should I go with putty or actual glue?

    • jowgajen

      Crazy glue? Depends on if there is a gap. Also assumes plastic case.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Definitely plastic. And because of the way it cracked, there is a gap when I put the top plastic part back on the metal underneath part.

        • Jennifer R

          Some sort of plasti-weld like substance.

        • HazooToo

          Gorilla glue expands to fill cracks?

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            I have gorilla glue (I cracked my headphones… a lot) but I’d rather get something more specifically for this.

          • Major_Major_Major

            Duct tape and chicken wire. ‘Merica!!!1!

          • HazooToo

            This suggests rubber cement, but I don’t know how long that will hold for your purposes:

            https://www.ifixit.com/Answers/View/189398/What+adhesive+is+safe+to+use

          • Doug Langley

            No. You’re supposed to use just small drops, about one per square inch. I used it to repair my sandal, which had practically torn in half. About 8 droplets scattered about, and big surprise, is holding up just fine. but you gotta press the surfaces together.

          • HazooToo

            Every wooden chair in my house is coming apart. All of them. Mostly the ones my Dad uses, because he is about 6’4″ with a large gut he can’t shed. He refuses to get new chairs, so I bought him a pint of the shit. God-willing, it’ll work for a few months, and we won’t find out that it’s finally failed when he sits on one and breaks his coccyx.

        • memzilla Ω

          You can’t go wrong with E6000 glue. Developed for NASA. Will fill gaps and bond plastic to plastic, metal to plastic. Dries clear. Flexible bond. I’ve used this shit for fifteen years, great stuff.

          Caveats: clean all areas of grease and dirt. Works best, as any glue does, if you can scratch up the surfaces to be bonded with a cross-hatching; use a No. 11 X-Acto blade. Coat both surfaces with glue, wait five minutes, then bond pieces together. Clamp tightly. Full cure in 24 hours.

    • snark-lurker

      if it ain’t broke, you’re not really trying

      • Major_Major_Major

        ^The motto of my Civil Engineering Materials course

    • Panika MCD

      internet forums are wrong and impossible!

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      Try turning it off and then on again.

    • jesterpunk

      Is it just cosmetic or is it actually affecting the use of the laptop? If its cosmetic I would really leave it alone, if its bad though be very careful with any kind of glue or putty. You dont want either of those to short out your laptop.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I know the casing itself is held together using glue (or was before part of it broke and wore off) so I’m not really concerned about it shorting out (also the amount of spills that have not affected anything…? This thing is almost built like a tank).

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit
    • Major_Major_Major

      I recommend arc-welding it or pop rivets. Better yet, both.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Love Levitz’ take on the Zombie Trumpcare reemergence. “If we can just fuck more people over, take away health care from more people, take away insurance from more, fuck over people with pre-existing conditions…..then we’ve got it! Winning!”

    [House GOP Still Thinks America Didn’t Like Trumpcare Because It Wasn’t Cruel Enough
    By Eric Levitz
    4/20/2017

    In the weeks since Trumpcare died its first death, public opinion has turned even more sharply against it. Recent polls show:

    (1) A majority of Americans want more federal spending on health care, not less — including a plurality of self-identified “tea party” Republicans.

    (2) A majority of Americans now approve of Obamacare.

    (3) Democrats now enjoy a 19-point advantage on the issue of health care, their largest such margin since 2009.

    Paul Ryan’s caucus listened carefully to this feedback, and to that of their constituents. And after weeks of soul searching and negotiation, they have arrived at a compromise: the same bill, but with a new provision that allows states to opt out of guaranteeing affordable health insurance for non-affluent cancer patients.]

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/04/zombie-trumpcare-is-undead-again-and-crueler-than-ever.html

  • Panika MCD

    next those damned judges will think that they can officiate marriages or something. THE NERVE!

    • Lord Jim

      They’re already marrying teh gheys. JUDICIAL OVERREACH!ZOMG!1!

      • Panika MCD

        soon we’ll all be ghey married. and the subpoenas! did I mention the SUBPOENAS! how are you even allowed to spell a word like that? IT. IS. UNPOSSIBLE. AND. RONG!!!

  • Claire

    I knew Brutalism was a tool of Satan and the Deep State.

    https://www.jwz.org/blog/2017/04/nsa-exorcism/

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      Le Corbusier was a Rosicrucian!

    • TJ Barke

      OH GOD! GREEN INK!

  • FDRliberal

    Two sick sexual predators fouling the White House with their execrable presence.

    https://twitter.com/shannonrwatts/status/855127535562219522

    • jesterpunk

      So how is that outreach to women going?

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      *clorox sales go through the roof*

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Both are examples of what a waste of DNA looks like.

    • Blacktop Autumn

      Did anyone shit their pants to dodge the draft?

    • ~ ☆ míkhαílα ☆ ~ 【忠実反抗】

      Ewwwww!! Okay, whoever the Democratic Prez is in 2020 should REALLY have the place deep cleaned.

      • TJ Barke

        They should nuke the site from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Probably have to strip the whole place down to the frame and start over.

        • ~ ☆ míkhαílα ☆ ~ 【忠実反抗】

          Assuming, of course, that the British don’t invade (again) and burn D.C to the ground (again).

          • dshwa

            I’ve heard worse ideas today.

    • i’mjustaskingthequestion

      My only response to todays visitors is this is trump burning shit down. He is systematically destroying the respect and integrity of the office under the heading, “if I can’t have you no one can!” You know, the typical cry of the misogynist.

  • Jonny On Maui

    Happy 4:20 everyone!

    • Puck

      I’m a sick stoner who’s out of weed till tomorrow. I has a sad lol.

  • Apple Scruff

    There are more Patriots in this photo than that wide-angle one Trump posed for yesterday. And more smiles, also too.

    “With the New England Patriots in April 2015. Gronk was there.”

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BTG7HktFpvl/?taken-by=petesouza

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      The explanation given was that the Obama photo includes the Patriots staff as well as players. Trump made the staff wait on the South Lawn and only included the players. Well, the players that went. And enthusiasm for going was less because this was the fourth win, not because of Trump distaste. Yeah, right.

    • Snopes Shop

      Was Mr. Special there?

      • Apple Scruff

        Nope!

  • Oh my FSM! This dairy thing is hilarious. Canada ain’t gonna drink your hormone and antibiotic filled milk. I love you guys, but your food policy is terrible

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit
      • jaspersdad

        Supply management was actually proposed for a wide range of commodities in US agriculture by Dr. Willard Cochrane when he served under JFK, they basically ran him out of Washington as a ‘communist’ for proposing the idea and 50+ years later they still haven’t taken ownership of their folly.

    • boyblue123

      Our roided up American MAGA cows, can totally beat up your whimpy, puny Canadian cows. Your loss ;)

      • Yr. Gma

        In the French /Swiss Alps they have a thing called “Combat des Reines vaches,” where the cows fight. It’s seriously funny to an outsider comme moi. They take it seriously. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nT_vwOnqW7Y

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      We also have different (and horrifying) meat packing standards. There is a lot of things wrong with America.

      • I am so glad i have a butcher i trust. All local to local-ish. Same with my cheese monger. Yes, i am a food snob, why do you ask?

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          If I had the money I’d buy bison and wild turkey meat because it occurs to me indigenous food probably affects the environment less. Clearly, I’m both a food snob and a poor.

          • I don’t go that far, but all the animals are SW Ontario, maybe Quebec and small farms. Have been really impressed with the quality over the years

          • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

            We have plenty of feral fallow deer that some fuckwit let loose from their hobby farm. BYOG

          • TJ Barke

            45-70 or GTFO!

      • TJ Barke

        Mostly it’s republicans. Mostly.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          Don’t discount the country’s misplaced sense of superiority. Don’t. It’s dangerous.

          • TJ Barke

            Something tells me that that afflicts more republicans…

          • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

            They have the more virulent strain, that’s for sure, but….

          • Yr. Gma

            Not exclusively.

      • jaspersdad

        “So what’s our own Environmental Protection Agency’s take on DPA-coated apples? It green-lights residues of up to 10 ppm—100 times the new European norm—and hasn’t reconsidered its position on the chemical since 1998, EWG reports. Nor does it have plans to do so in the future.”

        http://www.motherjones.com/tom-philpott/2014/04/europe-just-banned-apples-you-eat

    • Panika MCD

      you’re not one of those raw milk people are you?

    • Yr. Gma

      Canadian cream is the best. Loaded with butter fat. I drink gallons of it in my coffee when I’m in the homeland.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    He’s still bitter about the vacation he took with his wife there https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmZ0b4Tr8fg

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Video has been taken down.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Huh. Works here. It’s the Hula Hula Boys by Zevon

  • jaspersdad
    • Seems foggy. Vancouver needs more sunshine

      • jaspersdad

        Yeah, that’s the ticket.

    • Juan de Fuca

      We have that same thing hanging in our front entryway. All this time, we thought it was a didgeridoo.

      • jaspersdad

        Can you smoke it?

        • Juan de Fuca

          One of these days, I’m going to fill it up and try.

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      At least that’s one campaign promise Trudeau didn’t shit the bed over.
      *cough proportional representation cough*

      • jaspersdad

        That was disappointing alright. On the bright side the Cons won’t see the PM chair for a decade.

        • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

          I’m not counting anything out any more.
          I mean, O’Leary and Kellie Leitch? Eesh… but I hear a lot of pushback (okay, mainly from Albertans visiting or working in BC, because their own economy’s tanked) about the *expletive deleted* Trudeau and what a ‘disaster’ he is… in much the same tone as Obama got.
          And we know how that build-up of resentment worked out.

          • There’s a significant chunk of Ontario that still hates Mike Harris. I often wonder how tings would be different if Jack Layton had lived…

          • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

            Indeed, I liked Jack Layton.

            Actually, the same what-if happened in the UK, if John Smith hadn’t had a heart attack in the mid 90’s.

            Instead we got a jesus-complex War Criminal taking over the Labour Party.

          • WTF is wrong with the Labour party? Did they ALL fall and hit their heads A LOT?

          • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

            Blair took it over and “success” (aka following Tory economy and social policy so there was no discernible difference) went to their heads.
            The party is now infested with Blairite “moderates” (aka Tory Lite) and it’s going to need a full fumigation/civil war to get them to fuck off.
            The reason why Corbyn gets so much shit is the distinctly un”friendly fire” from the Blairite wing.
            I mean, he’s not a ‘leader’ but he’s there because the actual party members (and unions) want an actual left winger in charge of the party and start to impose actual people-friendly policies.

            And that’s the last thing the Blairites want.

          • No really, i watch The Last Leg every friday and they had Ed Milliband on a couple of weeks ago and some of the stuff they were saying about his general and the stunts the party thought were a good idea were INSANE

          • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

            I think maybe, having been bitten by installing a charismatic hollow man once, Labour members have decided that charisma is a bug, not a feature.

          • Someone should just run Stephen Fry.

          • TJ Barke

            Those petro state fuckers should go hang.

          • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

            Plus we now have to have more of their stinky, sandy tar pumped through our lovely clean forests and out to our lovely clean coastline.

          • jaspersdad

            I just had a visit from a cousin who just retired from a refinery job. He’s lived in Alberta for 25 years now and he’s been brain washed by big oil propaganda. (damn NDP, effin Trudeau, etc)

            The propaganda by the oil companies is very difficult to demonise in oil country. They are everywhere, contributing to everything form charities to community projects.

          • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

            Monoculture has rotted their brains.
            Strange, as I don’t hear the same sort of groupthink from NWT people, although that’s more mining and stuff….

          • jaspersdad

            They get em young….

  • II Gosala

    1. Because when the users are white, they are victims and deserve compassion and treatment

    http://orlando-politics.com/2017/04/20/marco-rubio-lauds-hhs-funding-to-fight-heroine-addiction-in-florida/

    2. That $450 million? It’s not new money. It’s the same money that Obama already afflicted under a different name.

    3. Little Marco is a dick.

    • Panika MCD

      but its a swamp free version?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      What else is new? Remember how Republicans voted en masse against the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, then turned around and took credit for various ARRA projects in their districts?

  • Panika MCD

    TREND WATCH FOR THE PRO-LIFER!

    today in TX Sen. State Affairs we heard a bill which would revise certain portions of the Revise Uniform Anatomical Gift Act (expansion pack for the law what makes it legal to donate yr organs). basically, when you are brain dead and you haven’t registered as an organ donor (REGISTER AS AN ORGAN DONOR) there’s a list of people they try to find in order–first a number of next of kin; then, if your family is pretending they don’t know you, your primary care physician or dentist or something’ then, if they still can’t find anyone who will admit to knowing you, they go to the hospital administrator who looks at thinks like your advanced directive and to see if you have the markings of a 7th Day Adventists (which, in these circumstances, you’d think the hospital had already violated your wishes because you are on life support) before deciding whether or not to donate your organs; finally, if all else fails and they’re like, “we get the organs now or they are not going to contribute to society in any meaningful way ever,” they can go to a judge or other county official because the county is going to have to deal with your body anyway. it’s called the alternate consent provision and they’re supposed to have a 3rd party impartial party do it.

    “WELL, I NEVER!” says Texas Right to Life. this is just exasperating because: BODILY AUTONOMY! which was not something I was aware they believed in. I thought they actually believed the opposite. and this is the more moderate of the 2 main pro-life groups in this state that when Wendy Davis said she’d had 2 abortions were all, “technically, a tubal ligation isn’t an abortion because the zygote has to implant in the uterine wall first for you to be ferrealz pregs.” so I was a bit surprised they were opposed to this given that 50% of the state is on the donor list, 75% of people say they are or have been meaning to get around to it and a full 95% of people say they’d be cool with having their organs donated in this country. but apparently the 95% of us who want our bodies doing something more than rot aren’t going to have the bodily autonomy to make it so as long as the PRO-LIFERS are on the case!

    this law has been used in only 3-4 cases a year and it was about 26 people whose lives were saved or dramatically improved last year. there was a doctor who was like, “you really want to save people? the alternative consent provision is too week. we could be saving 600 people per year with this stuff if you’d just get some balls and actually be in favor of life coming out of tragedy. no, no, no. you can keep the rest of your IT’S A BABBY to yourself, thanks!”

    https://nypdecider.files.wordpress.com/2015/11/jessica-jones-ep6-37-15.gif?w=618&h=377

  • boyblue123

    Drump and co and Rubio appearing even more mafioso then usual

    https://twitter.com/ProPublica/status/855228626694008832

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      What is with the nostalgia tour? Riling up East Asia, trying to reignite the Cold War, and meddling in Latin America?

      • aktlib101

        War = profits. Republicanism 101

      • boyblue123

        Gotta distract from crappy domestic policies i guess

    • Anna Rompage

      Is there a fascist, authoritarian asshole that they’re not willing to meet with, or praise for their constitutional “victory”?

      Did we step back into the the 1950s or something?

      • ~ ☆ míkhαílα ☆ ~ 【忠実反抗】

        Did we step back into the the 1950s or something?

        More like 1930’s Germany, but the guys in charge are dumber than a box of hammers and twice as useless.

        • Rasilom

          At least you can drive nails with hammers. Not that I would mind trying to druve some nail with the shitgibbons forehead… Votes of course..

      • Panika MCD

        doesn’t he usually claim victory?

      • boyblue123
    • Panika MCD
    • Reality Killswitch

      What a surprise! Sen. Rubio who acts like we are in the 60’s but in actuality, Fidel Castro is dead. But that happens often in life. After your mortal enemies are way gone, the mental ones stay there … until you are gone.

      • Stulexington

        Unless it’s Russia.

  • FDRliberal
    • Reality Killswitch

      Wow, a former Mexican president knows better than some of our own people.

      • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

        I think that has probably always been true.

  • Nick Scroggs

    I think i posted this before, but here it is again. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzzCPHdpISo

  • C4TWOMAN

    My issues with WHTM community aside, David got one heck of a “Dear Shitferbrains” style email from an alt-rt snowflake :

    http://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2017/04/20/booger-sluts-and-she-tornados-an-unsolicited-critique-of-we-hunted-the-mammoth/

    My favourite bit:

    you fucking syphilitic devil-llamas, wild west firecracker window-smashing soap-averse unionized cowboy Jacobins from Hell.

    At least he has a way with words.

    • TJ Barke
      • Jennifer R

        Just string words together until the other side shuts up works. I once got a friend to be stunned to silence with “bung monkey”.

    • II Gosala

      Tis a finer troll than we’ve seen here in many a moon.

      Rioting like a….werebonobo, indeed.

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      “werebonobos” FTW!

    • Dazza

      Spleen-filled troll free verse at its finest. I rate it 4 bedpans out of five.

      • C4TWOMAN

        At least 4 and a half chainsaws on the deranged scale.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I had a Troll try to slut-shame me earlier. When I said today that the last time I wore a certain pair of heels, they got me layed by a 25-year old man, this troll said “congratulations on your marriage”, so I said “no, I took this guy to bed”, and then blocked the troll. I just don’t give a fuck for their fucking useless opinions anymore.

  • Reality Killswitch

    Eh, Hawaii belongs to Japan you illiterates!

    • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

      No, it belongs to PR! So does Japan!

  • Nick Scroggs
  • Nounverb911
  • Anna Rompage
    • Reality Killswitch

      It’s hard to when you live in MD and hear that Donnie just arrived to Andrew AFB.

  • TJ Barke
    • Anna Elizabeth

      I like this. :) I think a lot of us can relate.

      I miss having a girlfriend for intimacy. I’m doing “ok” meeting guys for some fun, but it’s nice to have someone I care about that cares about me.

  • Nounverb911

    Hawaii AG is trolling jeff sessions.

    https://twitter.com/AtghIgov/status/855247724605718528

  • Somecallmetim

    Oh my god, I hate Ted Nugent

    • Nick Scroggs

      Oh god, what’s he fucking done now?

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot