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Bill O’Reilly and Roger Ailes

Four score and seven years ago, AKA last September, Fox News paid former anchor Gretchen Carlson $20 million smackeroos to settle her lawsuit against former Fox chief sex-slimer Roger Ailes. While it was nice to see Carlson take home all that money, it was a bit weird because Rupert Murdoch gave Ailes a severance of $40 MILLION AMEROS, in exchange for leaving and promising never to sex-slime a Fox News lady again. Fucked up, yeah?

Now, we are learning that Bill O’Reilly is getting a severance package in the neighborhood of $25 million, AKA basically a year’s salary, now that his sexual falafel hot chocolate loofah harassment grossness became such a problem (for advertisers, not for Fox’s moral compass) that he had to be fired. So, using Fox’s ratio in the Carlson case, you’ll be shocked to learn that five of the women harassed by O’Reilly have been collectively paid out just a little more than half that, AKA about $13 million.

The New York Times did some back-of-the-napkin math on its abacus and calculated the following:

For 21st Century Fox, the network’s parent company, payouts related to sexual harassment allegations at Fox News now total more than $85 million. The vast majority of that — up to $65 million in exit packages — is being paid to the men who were ousted from the network because of the harassment allegations.

Now, the New York Times reports that much of the $13 million that went to O’Reilly’s victims actually came from his own piggy bank, so we’re guessing the $85 million cited above is just money directly paid out by Fox, WHICH MAKES IT EVEN WORSE. They’re more than happy to compensate these boys for getting caught playing “Got ‘Yer Puss!”, but they get stingy when somebody asks them to write a check to the victims.

Maybe the network is just trying to reimburse O’Reilly for all the money he had to pay out. You don’t want him to STARVE, do you?

Anyway, the point is KA-CHING. And they say puss-grabbing doesn’t pay! (We don’t know if “they” say that, but we doubt any high school counselors are out there saying, “Have you considered a career in pussgrabbing? It pays!” Of course, it’s Trump’s America now, so that could change.)

To put in perspective how fucked this is, Wonkette made you a handy educational chart:

Note: Final bar should be divided, unevenly, among five women. See New York Times for details.

Anyway, shit’s all fucked up, yo, we are just saying.

Wonkette is funded by readers like you, and we don’t even sex-slime people! If you like us, click below, for to fund us!

[New York Times]

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  • Anna Elizabeth

    Perhaps things can continue to be made “expensive” for Faux Noos?

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Send envelopes full of votes, that actually are only full of votes, but they’ll still have to hire scads of personnel to make sure that all the envelopes really are only full of votes.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Maybe the network is just trying to reimburse O’Reilly for all the money he had to pay out. You don’t want him to STARVE, do you?

    Meh. Wouldn’t mind. Of course when Trump replaces Spicey with Bill, at least he’ll have all the chocolate cake he wants. The best chocolate cake. Just tremendous.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    $25 million is an awful deep pocket to be going after. Just sayin’, Counselor.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    So, if this was all just some scam, as Ohreally says, it would point to him as the chief scammer?…

  • msanthropesmr

    Dick grabbing is the growth industry.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      they have pills to fix it if it ain’t growing…

  • msanthropesmr

    I give up again for the second time today.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    OK, but what is he severing? His vocal cords?

    • msanthropesmr

      He severed ties with decency and reality a long time ago.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      aim lower…

  • not_vh

    thank god they were not caught selling loose cigarettes. that would have gotten them killed.

    • Moebym Reborn

      It wasn’t the cigarettes.

    • Or playing with a plastic gun. Or shop lifting a few cigars. Or trying to help your mentally disabled patient get out of the middle of the street…..

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        While you lie on your back with your arms in the air

    • JMP

      If someone who looks like O’Reilly or Ailes was selling loose cigarettes, they would have gotten at most a verbal warning from the police, and most likely completely ignored, in fact someone who looks like them pretty much has to murder someone in public to attract police attention – and even that is dependent on what the victim looks like.

      • and if they bought skittles or not.
        Urge. To rage punch. Growing.

    • Michael Smith

      Fox News should also be happy it isn’t black.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        they reiterate that fact to their viewers every day

  • JMP

    Huh, it’s almost like allowing a pervasive illegal culture of harassment for decades ultimately ends up being for profits once exposed. It’s so fucking depressing to see those creeps get giant settlements, but nice that Fox “News” is losing still more money.

  • Michael Smith

    People in the future are going to find this very confusing.

    “It looks like Americans in the 21st century considered sexual assault to be a highly valuable activity.”

    • msanthropesmr

      Highly illogical Captain.

  • msanthropesmr

    I am not a gross pußgrabber. I work very hard at job I had to get a PhD to get. I will never have that much money. Shame I was raised to have.a moral compass by a couple of agnostic hippies.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      But isn’t it nice to be able to look yourself in the eyes whilst brushing your teeth?

      • msanthropesmr

        I got a new electric toothbrush. It’s like sticking a single cylinder motorcycle in your mouth. I can’t see anything in the mirror

        • Anna Elizabeth

          OMGLOL

          So glad I had set my tea mug down.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          If the vibration is that intense, are you sure you’re putting it in the right orifice?

        • YoBunnyBunny

          Quick, what brand? Asking for a friend…

    • C4TWOMAN

      It’s really hard to listen to these people whine when they make in one year more than I’m likely to make in my lifetime.

  • weejee
    • Contemplative Ron

      Those poor chickens.
      ‘Is he going to eat us?’
      ‘I can’t tell, he’s just lying there.’
      ‘Should we SAY something?’
      ”Maybe if we’re really quiet he’ll forget we’re here?’

  • Who new sex assault pays almost double what being sexually assaulted does?

    You’d think it would be at least .79 cents on the dollar.

  • boyblue123

    Fox rule #1 – hire sexual deviants, allow them to act like sexual deviants on air, then act surprised when those people are exposed for being sexual deviants off the air

  • Joke’s on Billo, his lawyers ought to eat up the bulk of that 25mil

    • msanthropesmr

      You have to pay them.

      • Not like he is a common Trump to get away with that not paying your people.

  • memzilla Ω

    Nobody ever paid me $40 million to leave a jerb. But at least I left with my GOD DAMNED DIGNITY intact.

    Hmmm… can you sue someone for being enriched by tortious behavior?

  • Happy 4:20 on 4/20 ya’ll!
    Dang missed by 2 minutes, too busy scrollin. Ah well, next year!

    • BMW

      Central time zone doesn’t know what you mean.

      • Not my fault, get a real timezone!

        • Crystalclear12

          We refuse to live in reality.

    • Poly_Ester

      Moving to the central timezone and do it again. You’ve got 32 mins.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    “Joke’s on you, suckers! I would’ve paid to sexually harass the staff. Oh, wait . . .”

  • This is no justice in this world.

    • not_vh

      none actually.

  • BMW

    “Ch-ching!”
    -Clarence Thomas (probably)

  • Anna Rompage

    Republican family values!! Jeesh!

    If I sexually harassed numerous women at my job, I’d be fired on the spot, and would be looking at both criminal & civil penalties…

    • Obviously you are not screaming about the evil democrats enough where you are at.
      Just do that and you’ll be fine

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      The trick is to offer a huge cash settlement early and get a NDA — that way, no matter what happens, those women are just greedy sluts who are probably lying.

  • AndyC316

    So, is the lesson from all this to just go around harassing any/everyone until I’m drowning in millions of dollars? Bc being a decent human being has gotten me bupkis and I need a cash infusion :

    • Ryan Denniston

      You have to convert to Republicanism and family values first. Family values is key. It lets you use bbaby Jeebus as a human shield.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      No, you also have to be a horrible, woman-hating bigot blowhard, pandering to elderly white men, in particular Rupert Murdoch. Not worth it.

    • not_vh

      no chance man. don’t lose your day job.

    • SeeTrain65

      Offer not available to decent human beings.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    A frugal BillO asks if his compensation can be deferred until Donald’s tax plan is in place.

  • memzilla Ω

    I think we’re all waiting for those five ladies’ book, Killing Pussgrabber.

  • Crystalclear12

    Well, I am I completely surprised. 13 million dollars! They should have been grateful for the exposure!

    Owww, oww I hurt myself typing that!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Southern exposure, that is.
      Ow! I’m leaving, alright? Quit shoving!

  • elviouslyqueer

    Nice network you got there, Bill Shine. Be a shame if something were to happen to it. Again. And again. And again.

  • anwisok
  • BearDeLaOursistance

    Meritocracy™.

    • Contemplative Ron

      Without, mind you, any actual Merit™.

  • Ryan Denniston

    I see the scene is perfect. Tucker Carlson, failing ever upward, gets the time slot.

  • I think you should consider by-lining this article as “Fox schlobs Billo’s knob one last time”

    • Bobathonic

      Fox was heard to whisper, “I wish I knew how to quit you.”.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
    • but but but, I thought the last time it was the best plan ever? Even more than the time before that when it was a tremendously beautiful plan!

    • Ryan Denniston

      His health care plan will no doubt do many great things. Things that were seen as controversial at the time. Oh, no that’s Frederick Douglass.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      “A lot of people” = “everyone on my payroll who knows what’s good for them!”

    • Internet Hitler

      It’s not. Unless he’s going to get behind HR 676.

    • boyblue123

      Even Frederick Douglass believes its getting better and better. Hes saying great things about it

  • C4TWOMAN

    Another factor to consider is how insurance works. When I was driven out of a job for injured workers discrimination, a friend suggested, after the goons realized I wasn’t a crack addict they could pay off with a couple grand, they had invested money with the idea that about the time of the trial, they’d use that as a serious settlement offer.
    Given how much larger the much more reasonable settlement was, when it was made a year later, I’m inclined to think they were on to something.

    This could be at play here as well as whatever contract O’liely had that might make FOX feel they’re safer from litigation just giving him his damn golden parachute.

  • whitroth

    The pics confused me – I thought I noticed a family resemblance.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Ryan Denniston

      (eyes my dogs suspiciously)

    • Al Swearengen

      But you drink water, right? From out the?

  • elviouslyqueer

    On the plus side, Tucker Carlson is moving into BillO’s slot. Fox shouldn’t have to worry about him grabbing puss since he’s too busy clutching his pearls and desperately trying to locate his balls.

    • He has balls?????

      • elviouslyqueer

        ALLEGEDLY.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        That’s just nuts.

        • elviouslyqueer

          There’s a vas deferens between the two, I’ll have you know.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            Scrotum, if you got ’em, I always say.

          • Swampgas_Man

            Carpe Testiculum.

    • jesterpunk

      Objection, assuming facts not in evidence.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      that trustafarian piece of shit won’t hold the audience either. He’s a textbook example of failing upwards thanks to rich parents

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Charter member: Lucky Sperm Club

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Serious question: how employable is BillO going to be from now on? I know all the fucking Hatejizzers are into their Hateshow, but he’s going to have trouble selling ad time on any network, wont he?

    And how well do his books really sell when I see them at Family Dollar, Big Lots, and the Thrift store next to Big Lots?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Oh, the wingnut welfare circuit will provide. After all, conservatives don’t fail. They are only failed by the system.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Shit. I wonder how BillO’s legal affairs will proceed?

    • TJ Barke

      He’ll have to be on some sort of subscription service.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Yeah, good point. I forget how many ways there are to stream ducats from the stoopid.

    • jesterpunk

      He did criticize Russia so he may not be able to get a job in the Trump administration. But he could always get a job with Glenn Beck or start his own right wing channel unfortunately.

    • boyblue123

      BillO will land a gig on RT. Putin doesnt care

    • Ryan Denniston

      I hear the Blaze could use some talent. And of course he can write books projecting his desire for assassination of various folk.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Speaker circuit- he can spend the rest of his shitty life being an arrogant blowhard for hire

    • not_vh

      let me put it this way, if BillO was a Syrian refugee #3698765 in waiting list, he would be the first to get a US green card. Sessions would personally go to Syria to hand him his greencard and escort him to the US.

  • TJ Barke

    Who knew slinging lies and bilious bias was so lucrative?

    • rosenbomb

      Every Republican ever.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      All of us, Katie

      those of us with morals and ethics refuse to do so, despite the payday

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Oh, Christ, this chyron says it all when it comes to FOX News and women:

    http://cdn2.crushable.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Frozen-Fox-News-segment-2015.jpg

    • Anna Elizabeth

      A message for the Hatejizzers: Life is not a Zero Sum game unless you make it one, but only a needle-dicked coward would do that.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Note to world: most of us men folk are not nearly this big of a precious snowflake WATB. These crybabbies just get all the attention…

    • Gayer Than Thou

      As you would say, FFS. After watching Frozen I did wonder if it was truly as girl-power-positive as the hype suggested it would be. I really wondered if I would ever get that song out of my head. I never at any moment wondered if I was somehow still a man.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Oh for the love of…….take your son to a Transformers movie then. Yeesh. Didn’t some wingnut back in the Bush glory years say something like if you want your son to grow up right, show him your big old man cock? What happened to that sound advice?

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Oh gnoez, someone else got something that I didn’t get at exactly the same time! How old are Foxheadz, three?

  • Gayer Than Thou

    One thing I never need to hear again is how women make up sexual assault claims as a way to get rich quick, because obviously the real money lies in being accused.

    • How much could one make by spewing borderline hate speech and then shaking one’s boobs at subordinate males? Asking for a friend

      • Contemplative Ron

        There’s probably some sort of calculator on the Fox News Careers page.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        depends… in the local strip club?

        • Bobathonic

          Depends? In a strip club?

          • Contemplative Ron

            It’s called ‘Wrinkles.’ New place. VERY niche market. Complementary glass for your teeth on every table.

      • Swampgas_Man

        If Anne Coulter had bewbs, you could ask her.

      • theblackdog

        Ask Sarah Palin

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      A-fucking-men

  • Red Bird Ω

    Pro tip: men are dogs…….sometimes…..most of the time…..pffff…..all the time.

    • Contemplative Ron

      SOME of us are equine, not canine, TYVM.

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        And a few are porcine, while many right wing conservatives would consider us to be ovine. I, for one, am ursine, so….

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          And some of us are Ittsine.

        • Red Bird Ω

          Avian.

        • TJ Barke

          Bears of the world unite!

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          I think Red Bird’s point was, mainly, obcine…. and Toomush can’t argue that point…

      • Anna Elizabeth
        • Contemplative Ron

          You have no idea how wonderful it would be to wake up to that first thing every morning. <le sigh>

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Oh, I can imagine. I hug my Dashie plush in bed. :)

      • Red Bird Ω

        Point granted.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Let’s not forget our brothers and sisters who are cosine, or on a tangent.

        • Contemplative Ron

          Don’t let’s get off on a tangent here, okay?

          • Bobathonic

            Exactly, circle back to the origin.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Silly japanese empire. You attacked the wrong place.

    https://twitter.com/thehill/status/855136578779402240

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      What a pathetic piece of Suthern-fried shit on a racist shingle.

    • Al Swearengen

      Sessions always looks like he’s on acid.

      • marxalot

        Sessions always looks like he was just told there was acid in the punch. Like, half an hour after drinking it.

        • Al Swearengen

          Exactly!

          • marxalot

            “A-whaaaa? Gra-cious!”
            Miss Prissy voice

    • Ryan Denniston

      Mr. Attorney General, tell us what you really think of Puerto Rico?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        It’s. Just. That creatures like this would bring the american experiment to an end if the confederacy doesn’t rule it. I can’t even.

    • jesterpunk

      Should we tell him Hawaii is part of the US?

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        HELL NO!!!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        and the Panama Canal isn’t? Only if I can watch.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      we definitely need to send zombie Bill Sherman through for a second march…

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Oh, he’d be on board, I bet. Trump gilded the poor fucker.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      So? The attorney general was raised in a hollow tree as a cookie baking elf. Why does he have any standing over actual humans?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Elves and dwarves, living together. Total chaos.

        • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

          Miscegenation. Frightful.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Not that I have read this fanfiction. YKINMK, but it’s OK.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          Loving v. the Shire?

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Hey, if we let non-humans marry non-humans, it could lead to. Um. Working on that one.

          • Indivisible Snark Tank

            Hey, if we let non-humans marry non-humans, it could lead to. Um. Working on that one. Uruk hai.

            FTFY….I’m a nerd.

    • BadKitty904

      Has said Hawaiian judge publicly perjured himself before Congress? Then shut up, ya little hobgoblin…

    • ltmcdies

      Well Obama was born there so doesn’t make those islands “not America”

      • Carpe Vagenda

        They’re a suburb of Kenya, right?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    The lawsuits from Tucker Carlson’s (alleged) sexual harassment suits will be a bargain.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Well, his father-in-law’s didn’t work out well.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Well it’s only sheep, so some oats and a bale of sweet hay should be enough.

  • BigCSouthside

    Can anyone name a single one of these family values Christian motherfuckers who can even come close to the squeaky cleanliness of “Muslim communist anti Jesus no morals traitor” Barrack Obama?

    • Err…. I think… well, there’s…. how about ….

      Nope.

    • Ryan Denniston

      You are forgetting the mom jeans incident.

      • BigCSouthside

        Oh yeah. And he likes Dijon Mustard on burgers too. Amoral bastard

        (Just kidding Dijon on burgers is awesome)

        • Ryan Denniston

          Remember the good old days? Meanwhile, we were wondering if Trump would kick puppies at the Easter Egg Roll.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1TxMKaYHYA

          • BigCSouthside

            I was thinking about all that when a rapid fire Wolf Blitzer breaking news alert hit the TV yesterday and it was all “holy shit are we going to war? Also to are we fucking over our allies? And as well is our president a Russian asset?”

            And I was like “I remember when these used to be “we killed bin laden”, or “the economy is looking pretty fuckin good” or “a shitload more people have health insurance”

          • not_vh

            that guy had more character and charm in the peanut skin stuck in his tooth than all the real estate developers turned premiers have had in their family history.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      That’s it – CUT HIS MIC!

    • Mavenmaven

      See, that just proves he’s un’Merican!!!

  • goonemeritus

    As my mother always told me, lead a honorable life and the riches will be come in time.

    • Contemplative Ron

      She should have added, ‘But they’ll come to someone else.’

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    I, for one, am SHOCKED beyond belief the kind of men who claim women are showered with sweet, sweet dollars whenever they’re raped, assaulted or harassed, are the ones actually being showered with those sweet, sweet dollars!

    • SnarkON

      The irony; it burns.

  • Crystalclear12

    OT but apparently it’s Italy’s turn to be insulted by Trump.

    Right, I’ll go preemptive on this one:

    Dear Italy,
    On behalf of the United States, I apologize.

    This has been a long day

    • BigCSouthside

      What did he claim Chef Boyardee is a great Italian or something?

      • Al Swearengen

        Trump said “Syria? That’s a spicee meata balla!”

      • Crystalclear12

        Don’t know what he has done yet. But you know it will be something.

        • BigCSouthside

          “I love you guys. Super Mario brothers? Great family business. Brothers. Plumbers. Blue collar guys. Just the best. You guys have contributed so much to the world. I mean, pizza, amirite. Just beautiful. “

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        Hey! Ettore Boiardi WAS a great Italian!

    • There are a lot of countries on this planet, and he’s only been in office less than 100 days. He’ll get around to all of them pretty soon, so you might want to make that a macro that fills in the country’s name.

      • Crystalclear12

        It would be a time saver.

      • jesterpunk

        To whom my concern,

        Trump is a moron and we apologize for anything stupid he says.

        Signed the US.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      It’s a form letter, isn’t it?…

      • Crystalclear12

        No,no they are done person. . .
        *slumps shoulders*
        Yes, it is. There have just been sooooooo many!

    • not_vh

      on related tangent. I wouldn’t be suprised if NoKo’s nukes are proxy for ahem their southern neighbor. I mean there are n other countries with middling capabilities, skills, resources and capital needed to get where NoKo is.

      • whitroth

        You mean like Saddam Hussein’s WMD were to defend against Iran?

        But his threat… I figure that he’s actually thinking that “missiles would be nice”… but I wonder if he’s got one or two on ships, maybe flying Panamanian flags, that are near the US coast?

    • ariel_gee_398

      They elected Berlusconi. They’ll forgive.

      • Al Swearengen

        Has anyone ever seen Berlusconi and Trump in the same room? They’re pretty much identical.

  • SnarkON

    Grab some cooch; earn millions. Nice work if you can get it.

  • goonemeritus

    You can’t get more “Old School” than being given a massive golden parachute to go away.

    • Al Swearengen

      Trump has got to be sooo jealous. Especially about the “golden” part.

      • David Chaillou

        It’s golden and it falls down to earth in a graceful arc. Everything that Trump loves.

      • I’d be perfectly willing to chip in to make his jail cell gold plated.

  • Anna Rompage

    Is there anyway to exchange these men’s golden parachutes, for ones where the cords have been cut?

    • It’s more impressive when it forms a roman candle and they can see it unopened above them as they come down.

    • Granny Sprinkles

      Or maybe lead balloons.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      What they should be getting are golden showers. Everyone remember to eat their asparagus…

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        I wonder what canned clams do to the final product…?

        • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

          *yawn*
          you monster..
          *zzzzzzz*

      • phoenix00

        Trump will actually want those. Especially the Russian kind.

    • Nockular cavity

      Parachutes made of gold would be just as good.

  • arglebargle
    • Al Swearengen

      Good, Gutfield now has a larger platform on which to make people despise him. Because to know him is to…

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Greg Gutfeld is gonna be Greg Gutpile soon if he keeps that up. Which suits me.

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      He’s just shooting for an 8-digit parachute himself.

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      Ew. Just ew.

    • SeeTrain65

      A sexist joke from a sexist joke.

  • Nick Scroggs

    Was watching the film The Pruitt Igoe Myth for class, for some reason this reminds me of that. And also a relative who designed highway clovers so angled that people would crash all the time.

  • Vincent Ricola

    OT – Sarah Palin is on CNN wordsalading to Jake Tapper while dressed in my 12th grade sexy witch Halloween costume right now. This might be too much 420 for me.

    • BadKitty904

      Wth are you smoking, dude?

      • Vincent Ricola

        That killer Soros green.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          90% Indica.

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Even the Republicans can’t fuck this up…

    Look Up! The Lyrid Meteor Shower Peaks Friday Night
    https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/sciencefair/2017/04/20/look-up-lyrid-meteor-shower-peaks-friday-night/100706126/

    • jesterpunk
    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      Well, burning coal is a start. It should smog up the sky and foul the weather so the stars are completely blocked out.

      • Al Swearengen

        Democrats are from Earth, Republicans are from Giedi Prime.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Wanna bet?

      • BadKitty904

        Even if I gambled, which I don’t – no.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Now on Fox News dot cum: “Fox News Channel programming changes”

    In the wake of Bill O’Reilly’s departure, Fox News Channel will introduce a new evening and prime time lineup that promises exciting guests, lively debate and compelling news coverage.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2ec327ef7ae224d5e238a737f50e3bb7b18a55838bc4e23054b6f3074b3591b0.jpg

    http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/04/19/fox-news-channel-programming-changes.html

  • SayItWithWookies

    Wow – if I could get rich by just being hateful and lecherous, I’d be – oh wait – president, probably.

  • ltmcdies

    OT…. it appears @jasoninthehouse is tweeting cutesy poo facts about his lovely wife begging the question … how many Russian hooker photos feature Jason

    • HazooToo

      I wanted to say aotk, but somehow I’m not sure they’d touch him…

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • Professionalism, how does it work?

    • Vecchioivan

      Gutfeld looks and sounds like a character actor hired to play a right wing crank.

  • theblackdog

    Dear advertisers, If you’re smart you will not go back to advertising on Fox News as your money will be used to refill their coffers after paying BillO and Ailes, which is pretty much the same as paying those two while they were being gross harassers.

  • Chadwells

    OT: I take a weed nap. Felt nice. Then I wake up hearing Dampnut Dickface talking about “the spirit of the law”….WTFF does that asshole know about law…or spirit?!?!!!!!???

    • HazooToo

      There is no nap. There is only Easter candy and tuna grinders. And tons of root beer and chocolate soda. And hypnotic video games.

  • ♚ King Leo ♚

    I really don’t want to think about Bill O’Reilly’s sex slime, thanks.

  • Jgb979

    Gosh……

    Prolly could have kept Megyn Kelly, or Gretchen Carlson, or Greta, or Orielly/Ailes many nameless victims for even one gross sex monster payment!

    At least you have……….. Tucker Carlson……..(dies of shaudenfraude)

  • boll ocks

    Thats like 1$ per disgusting thing they did. if anything they were underpaid. (/s for those of you lacking a snark detector)

  • Scooby

    Any businessman knows it always cheaper to just hire hookers for the evening.

  • Blackest Noobs

    you know with all this awfulness…i.e. the Trump administration i have to find things to make me happy…this photo makes me happy>

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/919e5d2fbd883976653c033279713f893bbe7c495f629dde315c12bc9f5debd5.jpg

    • Me not sure

      I can’t wait for the sequel. Part of it was filmed here in the small town that I live in.

    • We are Groot.

  • Fox news has a sexual harrasment problem? The hell you say!

    http://freakoutnation.com/2017/04/more-sexual-harassment-fox-host-tells-co-panelist-shes-giving-america-an-erection-video/

    Incidentally, this guy is giving America “shrinkage”

  • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

    Is there anything not disgusting about Ailes, O’Reilly, etc?

  • Bitter Scribe

    I wonder if he’s going to file for unemployment?

  • Me not sure

    Fox needs to be flexible let about keeping that time slot open. Trump might be suddenly available in less time than one might think.

  • Blackest Noobs

    disquis account:
    Jafo Angelo IS A TROLL.

    pass it on.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    The SEC will want to know where that $85MM of shareholder money was disclosed to said shareholders. I’m betting there’s about $15MM not accounted for.

  • unclejeems

    I see from the figure that Roger’s long orange thing is, in fact, longer than Bill’s shorter yellow long thing. Who would have thunk it?

  • Moar Wordz

    There’s $$$$$$$$$ in Poverty and Lechery,
    yet they can’t sell 50K tix to a round table Black tie event on fucking the chicken.
    ✋, oh yeah, they can.
    (Cough.)
    Remember the illustrations in the Hunter S.Thompson novel ” Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas ? ” The one of the reptilian Police Association dinner ? Where one of them bites into a 🚺’s neck or something while drooling ?!
    Yeah, that.
    ” Money and Power, Power and 💰.”

  • pixeloid

    That looks like $98 million to me. How does NYT come up with $85 million?

  • rick

    Stingy CONservatives not willing to pay out the victims, much? Says it’s not so!

  • Lily412

    Ugh.

  • Truly Madly Derply

    On the bright side, I love imagining Bill’s thin-lipped shit eating grin morph into a twisted rage-snarl when he realizes that, as a sex harasser, he’s valued 38% less than Roger Ailes. ROGER AILES.

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