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Enhanced photos show strings going from red hat guy straight to Trump

In your Party of Personal Responsibility news today, an update on that lawsuit by three anti-Trump protesters who are suing two men who beat them up at a Trump campaign rally in Louisville, Kentucky, in 2016; the suit also names the Angry Orange One and his campaign for inciting the Nazi dudes. This didn’t sit well with one of the Nazi dudes, Matthew Heimbach, leader of the Traditionalist Workers Party, who Monday filed a counterclaim insisting he’s not responsible for beating up any protesters — he was only acting on the orders of his beloved leader, Donald Trump, who was yelling “Get ’em out! Get ’em outta here!”

Personal responsibility is very important to your rightwing guys, and Matthew Heimbach simply wants the world to know Donald Trump was personally responsible for the actions of Matthew Heimbach and his racist buddies. Or in the formal language of the countersuit — Heimbach’s representing himself, so you know he’s a top-notch legal mind — Heimbach denies that he assaulted anyone, but that if he did do anything at the rally, he “acted, if at all, in self defence,” and that he also “acted pursuant to the directives and requests of DONALD J. TRUMP and DONALD J. TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT lnc. [sic] and any liability must be shifted to one or both of them.” So, yes: He did nothing, but if he did, it was both in self-defense and he was only following orders.

While he’s at it, it was also the fault of the Trump campaign and the venue for the rally that there wasn’t enough security on hand to keep Matthew Heimbach and other attendees of the rally safe from violence, or perhaps from perpetrating some. Not that there was any, of course. But if there was, it was from agitators like the three protesters who filed the original lawsuit, Kashiya Nwanguma, Molly Shah and Henry Brousseau, who were there to interfere with Trump supporters’ first Amendment rights “by noise, signs, name calling and pushing and shoving against TRUMP supporters, all under the fraudulent guise of “peaceful protest.” But there’s more! Since these agitators were everywhere, it was the usual practice of Trump and his campaign to enlist Trump supporters “to assist in the removal of so called ‘demonstrators’ and ‘protestors.'”

Heimbach then goes on to list any number of Trump’s greatest incitement hits, like his Iowa urging of the crowd to “knock the crap out of” anyone who was “getting to throw a tomato,” along with Trump’s promise to pay their legal fees. And then there was Trump’s nostalgia, at a February 2016 Las Vegas rally, for the good old days, when you could punch troublemakers in the face: “I love the old days. You know what they used to do to a guy like that in a place like this? They’d be carried out on a stretcher.” And so on, eventually pointing out that Donald Trump is such a smart rich businessman that only a fool would fail to follow his commands:

HEIMBACH relied on TRUMP”s [sic] reputation and expertise in doing the things alleged. HEIMBACH relied on TRUMP’s authority to order disruptive persons removed and that TRUMP was legally within his rights to ask other attendees to assist in defending their constitutional rights against “protestors” who were disrupting.

It’s a pretty good bit of fan fiction. Poor Matt Heimbach, who shortly after the rally bragged on his Naziblog about how he’d bravely helped Donald Trump restore order, though it may have looked a little rough, as the New York Daily News reported:

“[Video] features yours truly helping the crowd drive out one of the women who had been pushing, shoving, barking, and screaming at the attendees for the better part of an hour,” he wrote in a post on the website for the Traditionalist Youth Network, a group that promotes white supremacy.

“Taken out of context, the elderly veteran, several others in the crowd, and I appear to be roughing up the woman because she’s black,” he wrote.

Yeah, we can see why it might look that way. For that matter, we can see why it looked more than a little bit like the integration of Little Rock High School in 1957, as Shaun King noted at the time:

You can see what a threat Ms. Nyanguma is posing to the Trumpers there; shortly after the rally, Yr. Editrix described her as a “poised young black woman who floated serenely through the angry, male — and military — crowd as it took turns shoving her like a super racist game of Blind Man’s Bluff […] look at her beautiful face and be proud of her.” (Dang, we were so biased and poetic in our campaign coverage.) At least we can be relieved Heimbach didn’t also sue Elizabeth Eckford for inciting the protesters by standing so tall and proud back in 1957, when she was all of fifteen years old. If it weren’t for troublemakers like her, blacks 60 years later wouldn’t think they have all these so-called rights.

Heimbach’s isn’t the only countersuit filed in the case; lawyers for another of the men seen shoving Nwanguma, Korean War veteran Alvin Bamberger (another target of the original suit), filed a motion Friday stating that Bamberger “admits only that he touched a woman,” but that he “denies that he assaulted that woman.” In that filing as well, Trump is named as the real instigator:

Bamberger’s lawyers stressed that “to the extent that Bamberger acted, he did so in response to — and inspired by — Trump and/or the Trump Campaign’s urging to remove the protesters.” They added that Bamberger “had no prior intention to act as he did” and “would not have acted as he did without Trump and/or the Trump Campaign’s specific urging and inspiration.”

While Donald Trump’s own filing in the case insists he can’t be sued at all because he won the election — you did know he won, right? — and as president of the USA is immune from liability, we think it would be a shame to miss the larger point of all these legal filings: No matter what their politics, Americans can at least agree that Donald Trump is a big fat loudmouth who incites violence. Makes you want to wave a flag, or at least try to run someone through with the pointy thing on top of the pole.

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[Politico / Matthew Heimbach answer via Politico / NYDN / WaPo / NYDN]

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  • UncleTravelingMatt

    “I was just following orders.” — Serving Nazis since 1945.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Great minds, etc!

    • shivaskeeper

      I don;t know how well it served them, since a lot were hung anyway.

      • PubOption

        Cue Trump joke.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        These fellows don’t have to worry about that, because I doubt any of them are hung.

  • lowenufc

    “I vas just following zee orders given by mien fuhrer…” he said in the mirror as he practiced his defense.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      And yet another great mind!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down
      That’s not my department,” says Orange von Brown

      • Querolous

        Missile goes up, missile comes down. You can’t explain that.

  • baconzgood

    “DONALD J. TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT lnc.”

    Oy vey!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Instead of Incorporated, let’s call it what it reall is: Limited Liability.

      • Spurning Beer

        But unlimited lie-ability.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Yo! Matthew Heimbach! “I was only following orders” went south as a defense at Nürnberg in 1946! So sad for you, asshole!

  • Fartknocker

    Pffffft. Inciting riots is sooo yesterday. Today I have the MOAB, cruise missiles, the nuclear Football, and Mar-A-Lago as the Presidential Beach House with its fancy green beans, wedge salads, and listeria-creating warmed hams in the kitchen. I’m MAGA!

    D. Trump
    Gold-platted shitgibblin.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    “I didn’t do it! Anyway, he made me!”

    Seems legit.

  • Spurning Beer

    Too bad this didn’t occur in Florida. Here, you can “stand your ground” and claim self-defense if someone makes you mad. And if you’re white.

  • Darlene Underdahl

    Let them eat each other. In other news, if Ivanka can get her hands on it, it goes in her pocket.

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    or at least try to run someone through with the pointy thing on top of the pole.

    Finial justice?

  • Msgr_MΩment

    “NO PUPPET! NO PUPPET! Okay, I guess I am a puppet. Just a bit.”

  • Shibusa

    Matthew Heimbach was just being a Good German.

    • Nounverb911

      “Ich folge Befehlen von meinem Führer”
      –Matthew Heimbach

      • Undocumented Skwerl!

        Ein volk, ein Trump, ein Führer!

  • Nightcrawler

    Isn’t Matthew Heimbach the crybaby who tried to start a white people club at a Maryland university because white genocide or some crap?

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Same as: I didn’t pay my taxes so I want relief from the IRS. Same as I overspent on my VISA so I want all this to go away. It is a little secret the Credit Card companies don’t want you to know….(you don’t have to have personal responsibility)

    • Villago Delenda Est

      If you say the magic words in court, the judge has no choice but to force the bank that secured the credit card to not only pay off your balance, but to award you $3000 a month for LIFE!

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        I read that in Art of the Steal by Donald “fuckface” Trump.

      • Undocumented Skwerl!

        But you have to cut the gold fringe from the flag first.

      • janecita

        What are these magic words you speak of?

  • janecita

    My dog has a squeaky toy that says, “The devil made me do it,” every time he chews on it. I see that these people are using the same defense.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    I don’t think the “I’m an idiot who can be easily duped into breaking the law” defense will be popular among defense attorneys.

  • baconzgood

    I haven’t seen that many white dudes in a picture since the 76 Flyers team photo.

    http://www.thephillysportscave.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/1975-76-Flyers.jpg

    • Nightcrawler

      What about the GOP interns picture?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      BACONZ!

  • Nightcrawler

    “When will white leaders address this culture of thuggish behavior in the white community? Always engaging in hate crimes against minorities, shooting up the school, shooting up the church, shooting their wives and kids, screwing the dog etc. Where is Trump to address this? When will white parents take responsibility? I bet it’s all that country music they listen to. It’s screwing with their minds!”

    • janecita

      That Kevin Chesney (?) and his thug music!

      • The Witch of Endor

        Kenny.

        I’m ashamed that I know this without having to resort to Google.

        • janecita

          Thanks! I should have Googled it, I don’t know shit about country music:-(

          • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

            In Wonkette non-commentry, he shall forever be known as Kevin Chesney.

          • janecita

            Yay! I’ve been meaning to ask you, how are you feeling?

          • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

            Thanks for asking. I’m getting better little by little. I developed an infection in one of my incisions a couple of weeks back but it’s healing nicely now. I’m back to working in my shop again so I feel mostly normal.

          • janecita

            I’m so glad that you are feeling better! Hopefully, that infection will be the last bump on the road:-)

    • grindstone

      Perfect comment. Glorious.

  • pstockholm

    He was just practicing the Heimbach Maneuver.

  • Nounverb911

    World’s most punchable nazi Richard Spencer was in his bunker and could not be reached for comment.

  • FlownΩver

    Most of us gave up this theory of defense somewhere around the second grade.

    “But jeez, Mom, Donnie told me to do it!”

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    I see. He didn’t do it. And if he did do it, he was provoked. And if he wasn’t provoked, he was acting on someone else’s direction. Have I got that?

    • SweetDeeKat

      He was ordered to do it by the Pussburglar in charge. What could he do, resist?

    • puredog

      The late great law prof Irving Younger used to lecture on how you might defend at common law a lawsuit by one farmer against another after the second farmer’s goat allegedly ate the first farmer’s cabbages. “You never had any cabbages. If you did, they weren’t eaten. If they were, they weren’t eaten by a goat. If they were eaten by a goat, I don’t have a goat. If I do, they weren’t eaten by my goat. And if he did eat them, he was insane.”

      • C4TWOMAN

        Insane goat libelz!

    • C4TWOMAN

      Need to work in blaming Jews somewhere….

  • Indivisible Snark Tank

    Makes you want to wave a flag, or at least try to run someone through with the pointy thing on top of the pole.

    …with votes?

  • Lefty Frizzell

    You can bet your house that if there was no lawsuit Heimbach would be bragging right now about his actions being his responsibility and his alone.

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    These pussies amuse me. They’re all manly-man when shouting from a safe distance and roughing up those they know won’t fight back. When shit gets real they soil themselves, deny they did anything wrong and, if they did, it’s somebody else’s fault. Alt-right pieces of shit don’t even deserve to be called men. They’re just a bunch of pathetic scared children. Useless turds. Fuck ’em.

    • shivaskeeper

      Typical bullies in other words.

    • Nightcrawler

      They’re manly when they have guns marching at Mosques or around women and children who cannot defend themselves. But if you punch one of them or stand up to them they either retreat or cry victim.

    • JohnBull

      They need guns because they’re too cowardly to walk down their own street because ISIS is hiding behind the garage.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Basically it’s bully mentality mixed with an entitlement to win, regardless of evidence in the real world. Recently I had and encounter with a PUA jerk at a bus stop, which was mostly entertaining for me (there were many f and c bombs thrown back and forth in the ‘banter’ stage of the interaction) because I knew I wasn’t in actual physical danger. He should have known it too–I was about his size and clearly had the core body strength of someone who does something physical. Nonetheless he persisted–lol– thought he’d follow me, board the bus and suddenly tried to sit right next to me.
      At which point I body slammed him into the aisle.

      The the look on his face during that second when he realized he’d miscalculated-that moment of fear–was priceless. He found another seat, away from me, and said NOTHING to anyone during his short ride.

      My point–in his head he assumed he was going to “win”. Anyone else with a brain who saw I was NOT interested would never have taken it that far. But something was broken in this guys head and I think it’s similar to these Nazi lites. And it part of the reason why I’m not hardcore anti violence . The fact is force–legal, physical or whatever– is the ONLY thing that will stop these people.

      • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

        Good for you. That’s the way to handle it. I have no patience for these assholes. I have the advantage of being oldz and that misleads them into thinking they can “win” in a spat with me. They can’t unless they went through the same training I received when I was younger (most didn’t.) They don’t know that, though, until they hit the floor like a sack of potatoes.

        • C4TWOMAN

          And what is that? There’s a big difference between “old” doddering and frail with a zimmerframe, and someone who is clearly still hale and powerful, but just has been on the planet a while. My neighbor is in his 70’s and does most of his yard work. He’s perfectly capable of defending himself physically. The only thing “youngs” have on a fit older person is more energy…but if they can’t control it–or do a simple “duh files” visual risk assessment–all that energy doesn’t matter.

          I suspect impulse control disorders might be a factor…

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Pathetic scared children libelz!

  • Nightcrawler

    There’s nothing like a good story about white wingers pointing fingers at each other to get you going in the mornin’.

    • C4TWOMAN

      IKR? We’re off to a good start…

  • Vincent Ricola

    Donald Trump and Matt Heimbach can share a very large bag of dicks. They are both terrible people that do terrible things of their own accord. Fuck them.

    • Parakeetist

      Preach!

  • C4TWOMAN

    “along with Trump’s promise to pay their legal fees. ”

    Bring on teh schadenfreude…

    • Oblios_Cap

      He’ll just raise the fees at Mar-A-Largo.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Ahh, the “good German” defense. This should be fun.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    As leader of the Traditionalist Workers Party, Matthew Heimbach also heads up the Traditionalist Workers Action Team. Yep, the TWATs were out in force during the campaign.

  • memzilla Ω

    … he was only acting on the orders of his beloved leader, Donald Trump…

    This weekend, look for Pinkham’s recipe on how to cook delicious Nurem Burgers.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They’re traife, for sure!

    • Querolous

      With cedar cheese!

  • Mavenmaven

    Join in, all you Nazis, you know the words, sing it loud: “We were just following orders”.

  • Chadwells

    OT: Legal peeps…I need some advice, please!!

    Here’s the situation:

    My wife was a widow before we got married. The only thing left in her dead husbands name is the car. It’s paid off 100%…by her, not her dead ex. The new 2017 registration and stickers were lost in the mail, of course.

    So…she went to the DMV to get them replaced. They will not give them to her because she is not her dead husband. The bank will not send her the title because she is not her dead husband….even though she was the one making the payments in her name and paid the car off.

    WTFF?!?!

    She has his death certificate….she has everything in the world to prove she is his widow….but no one will talk to her even when presented this evidence and no one will tell her how to figure it out.

    She even has the will stipulating that the vehicle is hers.

    Any ideas on how to proceed? Thank you in advance.

    • puredog

      I feel it is safe to say that there are fifty different answers to this question, depending on what state the car is registered in. You need local legal advice. A helpful DMV sloth — they do exist — could also probably guide you, if you can find one.

      • Chadwells

        Thank you! California is the state. I figured we were going to need to lawyer up. Ugh. What a pain in the ass.

        • Little Doll–MOAMF

          Ugh, this seems to be the month for this shit.

        • Little Doll–MOAMF

          I don’t know if this will help or not, as the California DMV isn’t a business, but complain about them on Twitter? Include them in the tweet. I checked–they’re on there.

          It worked for me with Verizon this morning. I complained on Twitter and they had someone tweeting back to me so fast I was amazed, and the issue is already resolved. This has worked for me with both CenturyLink and Verizon.

          • Chadwells

            Dang…I’m not on twitter anymore. Got tired of death threats. Wife isn’t on there either.

            Shivaskeeper was right…I gotta start at the bank and get my hands on the title. Once we have that…the rest should go accordingly.

            Thank you so much for your help!

        • Erala Contratista

          Also try asking the nice people at AAA, if you are a member. Had to change our address on everydamnthing and AAA handed me the forms, gave instructions and it worked!

          • Chadwells

            Another good idea!! Thank you!!! They are good at stuff like this too!

    • Farley Bot

      Which state? Ms. Farley Bot decided we need wills. Went to see JD who told us not to bother since Ms. Farley Bot automagically gets it all in California. She is poisoning me slowly, but that is different story.

      • Chadwells

        California.

      • Chadwells

        Also…LOL!!

    • Shartiblartfat

      Walk away from the entire deal. If your dead husband was such a shitheel he didn’t title the vehicle in the name of “John OR Jane Doe,” you’re likely screwed. All you married people who want titles to pass painlessly, pay heed.

      • Chadwells

        Well, it’s my wife. She was a widow when we married. No walking away, sadly. Can’t even sell the car without the note and no one is out to take it from her since it’s paid off.

        Problem is…we can’t register and tag the fucking car!!! It’s driving me nuts!

      • Chadwells

        And yes….her deceased husband was a fucking dick!

    • The Witch of Endor

      Call your State representative/senator. If they won’t help, call your US representative and explain the situation. Unless s/he’s a dipshit, you should be able to get *some* traction without having to spend a shit-ton of money.

      If they were married when he died, this shouldn’t even be a question.

      • Chadwells

        They were married when he died!!! That’s why I’m so pissed! It’s all totally provable that the vehicle is hers…he’s just the one on the title. We have payment history, death certificate and the freaking will saying she gets the car…and all we get in reply is “so what, you’re not him.” Grrrrr

    • shivaskeeper

      As for the bank holding the original note, keep working up the chain until you get a hold of someone who can fix the issue. The Death Certificate and the will should be all that’s needed and there is no way this is the first time this issue has come up. Same with the DMV.

      Keep notes of names, dates, and who told you what. If you do not get the right answer, keep moving up. It will take time and effort, but it will eventually work out in your favor.

      • Chadwells

        Ok. We went to supervisors and so on at the DMV…and they all said the same thing.

        I think we need to deal with the bank first. Get the title and get her name on it. Then the DMV will fall in line.

        Thank you!!!

        • shivaskeeper

          That would be the route I would take. The DMW won;t be able to help until he bank gets the title right.

  • Nightcrawler
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Is it too much to hope for that the Velveeta Voldemort bids his followers to take a long walk off a short pier and then they all do it, because sheeple?

    • C4TWOMAN

      Imma stealing Velvetta Voldemort.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        It’s pretty clever. I didn’t make it up, but I think it should be widely used :)

  • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

    Say…you know who else was just following orders?

    • Nounverb911

      Trump?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Vlad gets very upset when you don’t follow his orders. You might “slip in the sauna” for example.

    • JohnBull

      Eichmann?

    • II Gosala

      Seven of nine?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      A young Ensign Will Riker?

      “I wasn’t a hero, and neither were you. What you did was wrong. And I was wrong to support you, but I was too young and too stupid to realize it.”

    • Wild Cat

      The Chinese guy who serves my lunch at Hung Fat?

    • Lizzietish81

      Math Students when navigating FOIL?

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Give me PEMDAS or give me death!

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        Rather than google that, I’m just gonna concede (yet again) that LT is super more smarter than me.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Really, just avoid the effort and acknowledge the truth. We’ll all be better off in the long run.

    • janecita

      The son of Sam?

    • Ricky Gay

      my ISP so they can sell the data?

    • The Witch of Endor

      Anyone in the food service industry?

    • C4TWOMAN

      Scientologists?

  • Lizzietish81
  • JohnBull

    Saw a Trump voter at Costco the other day, with his dippy red hat on. He had all the other characteristics–bulging beer belly, vacant dazed look in his eye, impatient fidgeting and sneering when the lady in the hijab walked by, the frumpy wife in jogging pants. For once I agree that we could go back to the 50s where at least people didn’t look like shit when they left the house.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      His attire is the least of his problems.

      • JohnBull

        This state (Iowa) just passed a gun law that pretty much allows any crazy idiot with a permit to have a gun wherever he pleases. A hundred bucks says this Mr. Tough Guy will be the first to show it off.

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      In short, a fucking loser. Yup. I know the type.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Love that he’s spending his disability check at a progressive company.

      • Jacquelynrharrison

        Managing director of Google!, is explaining to users to start off “Work at home” method, that People have been doing for about one year now. These days alone, I generated close to $36,000 until now with no more than my home computer as well as some spare time, despite that i have a fulltime 9 to 5 job. Even everyone not used to this, can make $89/per h easily and the earnings can go even higher over time… This is how i started
        !sy264c:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs554MarketNovaGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!sy264c:….,….

    • Nightcrawler

      The top advisor to the President constantly looks like he just rolled out of bed.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        And the SCPOTUS talks like he just rolled out of 2nd grade.

      • Contemplative Ron

        That bed being a cardboard box under I-695.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I saw someone in a “Veterans For Trump” shirt the other day. Managed to bite my tongue, because I’m thinking “Yeah, how’s that working out for ya so far?”

    • Shanzgood

      That makes me feel really old fashioned! I will put on decent clothes and make sure my hair is tidy and what little makeup I wear is OK (or on) before I go to the grocery store.

      • JohnBull

        I lived in Russia where people put on makeup just to repark the car. I’m sure there’s a happy medium somewhere.

        • Shanzgood

          Well, I just slap on a bit of lipstick and mascara so nobody stops me in the grocery aisle to ask if I need an ambulance.

          • Erala Contratista

            I wear flashy earrings and used to be called “sir”, but now the staff and I all know each other’s names so that doesn’t happen now.
            At least my logger jeans and tee shirts are CLEAN for HS!

        • aureolaborealis

          I had a couple of female Russian students in an ESL class I was teaching. Full formal finery in every class, including furs and jewelry. Their classmates: T-shirts, Carhartts, flip-flops, etc.

        • Ducksworthy

          Well,in Russia you still can never be sure how long you might be gone.

      • C4TWOMAN

        My rule is I want to look presentable enough that if my mortal enemies snapped a pic, I would not be embarrassed if it wound up on the Internet.
        What a world we live in…

        • Little Doll–MOAMF

          It’s a good philosophy though!

      • marxalot

        I’m basically a casual nudist at home, so I have a very clear distincition between “in the house” and “out of the house” clothes/grooming, and trust me, never do the twain meet. Not even to walk to the donut shop on Sunday morning.

      • Erala Contratista

        I try to remember to check my clothes and hair before I go to the market. Which is why I found myself neatly dressed and combed in my slippers in the produce department one fine day.
        Sigh.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance
    • Little Doll–MOAMF

      LOL, I remember my mother being appalled when someone she knew went grocery shopping with curlers in her hair.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Welcome to my experience every. single. time. I have to step foot inside our Wal-Mart.

      • marxalot

        Ugh, I live behind a Wal-Mart (very easy walking distance even by our Western standards) and I will drive to Target rather than setting foot in there. I hadn’t spent a red cent in a Wally world in years before I moved here and awoke at 4 am my first day, hungry, alone, cold, and in need of cereal and a humidifier.

        • Annie Jomes

          I avoid Wal-Mart at all costs. I know that there are a lot of people who can’t, because it’s literally all that’s available, but since I can choose, I choose NO WAL-MART, EVER.

    • aureolaborealis

      Our new Russian overlords do not approve of slob-shopping.

  • Reximus
    • janecita

      Global Warming isn’t real! That picture is obviously photoshopped!

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Damn right, in the original the iceberg was much bigger and closer inshore.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “The Titanic was here!”

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      Chunky!

      • Reximus

        and there’s another 1/3 of it that you cant see behind the point of land!

    • JohnBull

      Trump won’t do a thing until that floats all the way down to Florida and blocks his precious view.

      • Oblios_Cap

        MOAB it!

        • wavicles

          More like try to sell it to some poor schmuck. “The most beautiful ice you’ve ever seen, believe me.”

          • Reximus

            vodka makers buy them when they are broken up in august

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      James Inhofe just came in his pants.

    • clairence

      unclaimed territory!
      Trump Iceberg Resort coming soon!

    • Bill D. Burger

      Republicans and Trumpanzee logic: “Look at all that thar’ ice. And them tree-huggin’ libs say theyz’ such a thang as global warmin’ and climate change. Shiiit.”

    • proudgrampa

      Wow. That’s impressive. Definitely bigger than the house, eh?

    • If anyone would like a movie recc based on this location, please try and see The Grand Seduction. Wonderful, hilarious, and charming movie about a tiny Newfoundland town trying to trick a doctor into moving there

    • marxalot

      Uh… hey sailor. Looking for a good time in port? (what do you mean, “it just showed up?!” how do you MISS THAT?!)

    • Contemplative Ron

      ‘Get the boat out, Martha, we’re restockin’ the freezer tonight!’

  • elviouslyqueer

    Man, for folks who claim that they aren’t triggered precious snowflakes at all, Heimbach and his merry band of motherfuckers sure sound like triggered precious snowflakes.

    • Nightcrawler

      Snowflake is a supposedly derogatory term coined by people who need to have an AR-15 with them when they go buy groceries.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I’m sure that if Trump-with his formidable mind control powers-had told these dipshits to go help the homeless and plant more trees, they would’ve obeyed just as eagerly.

    • Nightcrawler

      No! The mind control powers are used by the leftists! Haven’t you listened to Alex Jones!1!?

      • Treg Brown

        Alex Jones? Isn’t he that fat-assed “performance artist” I keep hearing about?

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Yes. He’s nothing at all like that in real life. His wife and kids hate him for entirely different reasons.

        • Ghenghis McCann

          If he is a “performance artist” then he’s the Best Actor Ever™.

        • Me not sure

          You laugh, but that is the only explanation that even remotely makes sense.
          Otherwise he’s just dangerously insane, and would be committed by now.

          • But Regan closed the hospitals for the mentally ill. They Might Be Giants just told me

          • Me not sure

            You’ve got me there.

      • Me not sure

        After gaining control of Alex Jones’ mind, I should think Trump’s would be a piece of cake ( beautifulest chocolate cake ).

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Donald’s mind control powers only affect the lizard brain.

  • Chadwells

    I hope asking for advice doesn’t break some non comment rule, because I’m out of ideas on that situation. Sorry if I did.

  • Suttree

    I’m innocent because I support a fascist is not a defense.

    • Me not sure

      It didn’t work at Nuremberg either.

      • Creepoman

        20 years from now, I wonder what we’ll be calling our Nazi trials.

        • Me not sure

          Trumpbunals?

  • wide_stance_hubby

    I abhor his attempt to blame Tramp for this, because the liberal-crooked-biased-rigged media will not reveal what this woman with a troubled past was wearing at the time.

  • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

    NASA launch imminent, if you’re interested…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdmHHpAsMVw

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      Weeee!!!! That was fun. :)

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Damn! I missed it.

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        Nice and clean launch. Lots of flat earth trolls/teenagers in the comments.
        EDIT: The 360 feed apparently failed/was crappy, which of course threw up even more trolls and conspiracy tinfoilers.

        • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

          UGH! Commenters are the worst. amirite?

          • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

            Welp, at least they’re looking at sciencey stuff. :)

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Suck it North Korea!

      (NOTE: Under Little Donnie’s budget for NASA, rockets will only go halfway to space.)

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        It’s all good. ESA and China/India will take up the slack/claim all the mineral rights ;)

    • Contemplative Ron

      From the depths of human behaviour to the heights of human achievement in one post. What a world, eh?

  • Ghenghis McCann

    How quickly he went from a right winger to a right whinger. Bless his heart.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They’re all only an arrest or a lawsuit away from that transformation.

      • Contemplative Ron

        Or an argument. Or, really, just being made aware that someone doesn’t agree with them.

  • Major_Major_Major

    Just following orders, eh? He really is a “Traditionalist Worker”.

  • clairence

    I thought “only following orders” was no longer a valid defense after that one big event in history.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Lyin’ Sean calls it “The Holocaust, fake news”.

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      The Great McRib Scandal of 2013?

    • Contemplative Ron

      He meant ‘only following odors.’ He was pretending to be a hound dog at the time.

  • Nightcrawler

    Imagine how pathetic and mediocre you must be when being born with pale skin is your crowning achievement in life and you need to constantly justify why you need to inflict harm upon people who have never done anything to you (even though they would be just in treating you as you have treated them).

    And I say that as a white Italian guy….

    • Ducksworthy

      Italians are white now? What’s this country coming to? Next it’ll be the fecking Irish.

      • II Gosala

        Down hill ever since we let the Germans in.

        • I thought it was when we imported Irish to do menial labor..

      • TundraGrifter

        What was that movie with Dennis Hopper and Christopher Walken?

      • Nightcrawler

        White genocide!!!!1!1!!!!

    • New Year 1080p

      Not a blue German guy?! False advertising!

  • fawkedifiknow

    These defendants are just begging for a super lawyer to come to their rescue. Where the hell is Orly Taitz, anyhow?

    • Me not sure

      Probably trying to sell a house to someone while rummaging around in their mouth with a sharp object.

    • geoffalnutt

      The Dentist With A Difference!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        “It’s a loon’s life in the Taitz Dental Association!”

    • Suttree

      Do we have no respect for Larry Klayman?

  • Jgb979

    “acted pursuant to the directives and requests of DONALD J. TRUMP and DONALD J. TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT lnc.”

    You could have just said president fuckhead, unless than INC. is a nod to sovereign citizen nonsense then you’ve just become my favorite defendant in the country

    • JohnBull

      To me he will always be “Your Royal Shitbag.”

      • kareemachan

        Not very royal, IMHO….

    • TundraGrifter

      Actually, that “Inc.” is a pretty accurate summation of Mr. Trump’s campaign and current Administration.

    • Contemplative Ron

      Nope, there is an actual corporate entity called ‘Donald J. Trump for President, Inc.’ See http://www.p2016.org/trump/trumporggen.html

      • Ghenghis McCann

        I see the office holders include all the usual suspects.

  • Buffy proved that pointy thing is SUPER handy

  • Nightcrawler

    Whatever lawyer decides to take their case must be at the end of his career.

    • Nounverb911

      Orly Taintz?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Bamberger “admits only that he touched a woman,” but that he “denies that he assaulted that woman.”

    So he admits assaulting her and then denies it? Crazy…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      No one has ever accused the tough guys at Donald rallies of being the sharpest spoons in the drawer.

    • Zonath

      Technically, in the context of civil litigation, offensive touching is battery rather than assault.

      • Oblios_Cap

        What if he was holding a salt shaker?

        • I always carry one these days. Very helpful against slugs, both physical and social

          • TundraGrifter

            I’m searching for my lost shaker of salt.

          • Have you checked Margaritaville?

          • TundraGrifter

            First I’ve got to let these shrimp finish boiling.

            I just purchased the “Fruitcakes” CD and it’s pretty good – vintage Jimmy. I had the t-shirt for a number of years but I’d never listened to it.

          • Contemplative Ron

            Just between you and me, if you find yourself listening to a t-shirt you should probably call someone.

          • Oblios_Cap

            You had to be there.

          • TundraGrifter

            I’ll start to worry when I get an answer…

          • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

            Beer. also too.

          • That’s for me

        • TundraGrifter

          Weren’t those the anti-nuke negotiations with the Russkies?

  • TundraGrifter

    In this case, “personal responsibility” consists of “Personally, I think you are responsible.”

  • Oblios_Cap

    “Taken out of context, the elderly veteran, several others in the crowd, and I appear to be roughing up the woman because she’s black,” he wrote.

    Taking video out of context is so easy to do.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Yeah, that context stuff is difficult. Especially when you have the tiny brain of a Donald supporter.

    • PubOption

      The last three words were not needed and don’t help his case.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    Perhaps they should start “zapping” some of the American businessmen who exploit migrant workers?

    WATTERS: Well, Mr. Cain, I think maybe if you pony up some dough, you get a special section of that Trump wall that’s electrified and we can start zapping things as they try to cross.

    CAIN: Jesse, I just want the sign to be put up on the other side: “We will kill you if you cross this wall.”

    They both chuckled heartily.

    “I think that will send a very clear message,” Watters said, approvingly.

    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/04/jesse-watters-and-herman-cain-share-laugh

  • Paperless Tiger

    You can’t fix stupid, but you sure can whip it into a frenzy.

  • Juan de Fuca

    For all of the fear mongering about MS-13, Muslims and illegal immigrants, I’ve always believed the biggest threat to my personal safety are over-aggressive white guys. I experienced it this weekend with my own wife and daughter when a bunch of drunk, middle class looking white dudes in weekend warrior biker vests started hooting and whistling at my daughter this past weekend. I looked at them and said, “Dude, she’s 18 years old.” One guy kept shouting “YEAH BABY!” while another guy apologized for him but still.

    I’m white myself but put a bunch of white guys together and they’re just as likely to cause violence as any other group of people.

    • shivaskeeper

      You have more self control than I do. I salute you for that.

      • Juan de Fuca

        It almost got out of control. But I was way outnumbered and am not getting my ass kicked in front of my family but still said my peace. That and one of his buddies apologized for him but still. I was thinking, “This seriously just happened?” Dudes were my age, too. Older guys, who probably have daughters of their own.

        • The Librarian

          Indeed, they probably do have daughters, but look how Trump talks about Ivanka. They look at that and think it’s ok.

          • Juan de Fuca

            Exactly what I was thinking. I walked away and said to Mrs. de Fuca, “The Trump effect.”

          • shivaskeeper

            Dudes like this have been doing shit like this long before DJT came to the spotlight.

          • efoveks

            When I was 13, I went to a ball game at candlestick with my grandparents. The jerk one aisle up from us, while sitting next to his wife, propositioned me. I told him to go to hell, but I was too freaked out to tell my grandparents. To this day, almost 40 years later, I wanna kick that guy in the nuts.

        • shivaskeeper

          My standing theory on something like that is “a few of you are going to go down with me”. Also too, in a situation like that Mrs Keeper would be more than willing to get stuck in. Me and her used to spar a fair amount so she knows how to hurt someone larger than her.

          • Juan de Fuca

            Nice :-) When I first started dating Mrs de Fuca in Hawaii, she was taking BJJ classes. She had also studied Kempo when she was younger. So one day we’re wrestling around in my barracks room and I shot in for double leg, she spun around and got me in a rear naked choke before I learned what a rear naked choke was and we weren’t even naked.

            She’s 5’1″ and choked me out. That’s when I knew I was in love.

          • shivaskeeper

            That is outstanding. I focused on Modern Army Combatives.

            I went to one of the advanced schools at Ft Benning and about a month after I got back Mrs Keeper’s unit decided they were going to implement MAC into their training. She wanted a leg up before their program ramped up, so I started training her and we started sparing. At one point she was in the changing room of the local gym her reserve unit was using for larger scale PT and a civilian lady came up to her and said, “I don’t want to get into your business, but I can help you find a shelter if you need it.” She forgot she had all kinds of bruises in various shades of yellow to purple on her. To be fair, I was also fairly tore up as well, as we had moved up to full speed throws, chokes, counters, ground work, and arm and leg bars, with full speed, half strength strikes and kicks at that point.

            Needless to say, when her unit started to do MAC she was able to dominate. Good times.

          • Juan de Fuca

            Awesome. I think the Army and Marines started the whole combatives training thing? I was slightly older school Army like you back when hand to hand combat meant – don’t try this in the street because you’ll get your ass kicked. Then the Gracie family got invited to train the Rangers or some SF group and it took off. IIRC?

            I left the Army in 2000 and joined the USAF in 2001 (don’t judge!) and right before I retired in 2012, even the USAF had a thriving combatives course for new recruits in basic training. I actually trained with the USAF guy who started that program up. He was a SNCO combat controller or TACP, can’t recall which one but was a gentle badass.

          • shivaskeeper

            That’s just about right. The old school hand to hand stuff you got taught would get you killed in a real fight. The problem was the manual for hand to hand combat was pretty much all about killing, so there was no real way to train it. So hand to hand, if it was done at all, was whoever you had in a unit who was a Golden Gloves, or trained in some of the martial arts.

            The Gracie’s started working with SF and it went from there. The new manual is all about wining a fight, and having a live enemy as a POW at the end. A lot of the lower level training is all about taking a hit and closing in to grapple. In fact, when I retired, the Level 1 certification after two weeks of training was essentially the instructor wore some fight gloves and pummeled the shit out of you while you closed in and either held him in the clench for 5 seconds or lifted him off his feet three times. The thing is you were not allowed to strike back at all. The whole point was to show you that you could take a hit and not crumble. The level 4 folks I worked with could have competed in UFC if they wanted to. They were damn good.

          • Juan de Fuca

            Tim Kennedy turned out to be a helluva fighter even if he started MMA before joing the Army, The Army has produced several good fighters. Colton Smith is another good one.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      White guys are horrible and they start harassing girls around 13. I’ve had many a walk ruined. I’ve since been told the best reaction is to start screaming.

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        “Testosterone is a hell of a drug.”

        • aureolaborealis

          Seriously. Middle age sucks in some ways, but freedom from the high testosterone levels of youth is not one of them — as long as you can still get a boner when you need one, that is.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        First time I was cat-called, I was 12. A bunch of construction workers building a house yelled stuff I didn’t understand at me as I rode my bike through my own neighborhood.

        I guarantee not one of them realized how pedo-ey they were being, either. To them, having bewbs in public is reason enough to harass and humiliate.

    • Ducksworthy

      I blame the Neanderthals.

    • NastyBossetti

      When you said she’s 18 years old, all they heard was “She’s legal!”

      • Juan de Fuca

        It’s sad but you’re probably right. Sick fuckers. They were my age, too. Bunch of wannabe 1%’er bikers.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I’m a white guy too and I was raised in the South, and most of the people that gave me trouble during my time there was other white dudes.

    • What’s always amazed me more than anything else is that the people who are most terrified of these groups are in no way in any danger from them. I hear it a lot in my very rural, mostly white area, and considering that the number of Hispanics, Muslims, or any other race/religion/ethnic group can be counted in not very high double digits, the actual “danger” is nonexistent. On the other hand, the number of drunk assholes and idiot teens is pretty high.

      • Juan de Fuca

        I couldn’t agree more and in fact, I probably shouldn’t have lumped all of us white folks together because that’s stereotyping also. Was being snarky and most of us white folks don’t behave badly. But as long as other white people are stereotyping, I’m gonna bring up the fact our demographic is the one who started a riot at a pumpkin festival. Because as you put it – drunk assholes.

        • When I first moved here, I had a “well, it’s something” job working for the local store of a convenience chain. The manager there told me “we sell more beer than any other store in the system.” I thought that was probably wrong, since this chain had stores in places with large populations. On the other hand, I was restocking the beer coolers several times a shift. It wasn’t until I got put on “rotating duty” (the regional manager wanted me to go into the manger training program) and worked at other stores that I found out… my first manager was right. At any other store, if I restocked the beer coolers at all, it was once in a shift. Now, this is a town with less than a thousand people in it, there are two bars, a liquor store, and another (locally owned) convenience store… and all of them are doing quite well. So, yeah, lots of drunk assholes.

      • aureolaborealis

        That’s because they have no real-world data on the subject, so they can believe any crazy old thing that happens to pop — or get inserted — into their heads.

    • aureolaborealis

      Yep. I’m way more concerned about my redneck neighbors than anyone else.

  • The Librarian

    There’s no responsibility like the responsibility of responsibly blaming others of what you’re responsible for doing.

    • Anna Rompage

      Isn’t that what conservatives do best?

      Tell people their are individually responsible & to pull themselves up by their boot straps in one breath, and in the next, blame all their woes on the gays, liberals, feminists, labor activists, brown people, immigrants, the govt, & non-christains…

      • Mavenmaven

        Well, Trump’s H1B block is essentially affirmative action for dumb Republicans.

      • Trip Space-Parasite

        Upfist for “christains”.

  • Anna Rompage

    First they were ordered to round up all the instigators, next they were ordered to put them into the gas chambers. Most willfully complied…

    • TundraGrifter

      “The road to Auschwitz was built by hate, but paved with indifference.”

      ~Sir Ian Kershaw

      And that’s how Mr. Trump’s path to the White House was built. Also.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Just one big ol’ happy klan at a Trumpanzee gathering.

    http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/128000/Violence-At-Trump-Rally–128492.jpg

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Real Sturmabteilung don’t cry.

  • He didn’t attack them because they were black.

    He attacked them because they were black and uppity.

  • marxalot

    Has Suttree checked in this morning?

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      Very early. Many wonkers told him to go to physical therapy.

      • He’s dowstream a bit. Has called, is waiting on call back

      • Suttree

        I called a few minutes ago. Thank you for the concern. :)

        • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

          Weee!!!! Great news :)

          • Suttree

            I need a kick in the ass sometimes. :)

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            *Kick*

            But only so you don’t relax after calling. Make sure you go!

          • Suttree

            I’m about to call them back. I have not received my referral yet.

    • Suttree

      Hi! I’m here and feeling better. I just called the doctors office to get a referral for PT.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        What did I miss? What’s going on?

        • Lizzie asked us all to kick him in the nuts about going to PT for his back.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            I think he’s had enough kicking, if I can hazard a guess.

        • marxalot

          He spent last night puking, drinking, and taking pills to be able to live with his back, so I was Worried. And now he’s hauling his busted ass to a damn PT, so we don’t have to be Worried anymore.

          • Oblios_Cap

            “Suffering Builds Character”.

            At least that’s what my Dad (GOP, of course) always said. I never believed him.

          • shivaskeeper

            Adversity builds character, not suffering.

          • Suttree

            I like challenges, I don’t like suffering.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Hahaha!1 I must be Wonder Woman now!!!!!

        • Suttree

          I had a really bad freakout last night with my ongoing back pain.I went on a pretty bad anxiety attack. I’m feeling a lot better now though.

      • shivaskeeper

        Go to your appointment.

  • MynameisBlarney

    I spotted some people at the govt. center with signs demanding turmp release his taxes.
    About a dozen of them, but more than I would expect in the Upper Keys.

    I honked in support.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Help a gal out, y’all.

    I realized something personally important last night, which is this: since 11/9, I have lost all belief in a future. I’m overeating (and getting fatter, surprise), spending money like there’s always going to be more, and am literally unable to experience any feeling about events that are coming in the next couple of months that would ordinarily have me either very upset or making plans to do something about them. I didn’t bother to file my taxes, I have bills piling up on the bill-piling chair, I need to take action on about twenty important things, and instead I sit most of the day playing around on the computer, eating potato chips and almost willfully not looking ahead. I know that part of the problem is my depression trying to flare up again, but a big part is that since Dumpster Fire was “elected” there just seems no point at all in trying to imagine a future. Does anyone else feel this way, or is it just me?

    • MynameisBlarney

      I did for a bit, but ya just gotta keep forging ahead like you were before that stupid fuck got “elected”.

      Turmp’s gonna be taken down and taken down hard.

      • Erala Contratista

        More like he’ll do it himself. Even better.

    • Shanzgood

      I know the feeling wery well and only just recently dug myself out of most of the paperwork and filed my taxes yesterday. I think if I didn’t have my kids and baconz, I’d be in a way worse state.

      • Suttree

        If I didn’t have Lizzie, I have no idea where I would be.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          I woke up thinking about you. I’m glad you’re ok.

          • Suttree

            Thank you sweetheart! I just get really bad anxiety attacks when my back acts up like this.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            I’m glad you reached out and I hope we all helped.

          • Suttree

            You guys definitely helped! And I have gotten poked at today to go to PT. I love you guys sooooo much! It is hard to reach out for help though. I’m just glad that y’all are so understanding. :)

          • Shanzgood

            Hey, could you email me? It’s my username (in profile, not shanzgood) at Yahoo dot com.

          • Suttree

            I emailed you.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Not just understanding, but have experienced or witnessed things along the same lines and are not scared or judging. Last night while I was reading your posts my son came to my house really drunk after I bailed him out of jail (for being really drunk) and he started acting sketchy so I sent him away and then felt horrible about it and walked around half the night in my bathrobe looking for him and crying. At least you have Lizzie. I’m all alone. Enough whining. It’s a new day! We can do better and we will.

    • Suttree

      Nope. Me also too. I just had a long talk with my father this weekend about getting off of my ass and the steps to take to do that. I have taken two steps so far. #1 was doubling my antidepressants and #2 was just calling the doctors office for a physical therapy referral. I still have another half dozen life changing things to do though. One step at a time.

    • Edith Prickly

      I understand the feeling very well, but don’t let the Orange Menace stop you from taking proper care of yourself. Make a list in order of priority and get a couple of things done per day until you are caught up. Go for a short walk to clear your head and get some air.

    • Parakeetist

      The election made me physically ill. I think most of the country feels the way you do.

      Hang in there.

    • Me not sure

      Hang on. Now is the time to reflect on your own value, not the worth of that jackass in The White House. Set some goals that you can meet right away and then begin to project to more difficult goals as you gain the ability to deal with them. We are here and want to help. Seek what help you can for that depression issue. You are too valuable to let it consume you.

      • Little Doll–MOAMF

        Sentiments Seconded!

        • Erala Contratista

          Thirded!

    • Thaumaturgist

      This is a “do your own research moment.” I’ve seen posts on an epidemic of depression overwhelming shrinks since 11/9, but I don’t have the energy to google it.

      • MizzMazz

        Anecdote, not data, but when I checked myself into hospital after the election (because I couldn’t stop crying and freaking out) The doctors told me there was a huge uptick in admissions for depression, anxiety, and even strokes. Real honest to goodness rage-strokes. I don’t have numbers, just what I was told at this hospital, but it wouldn’t surprise me that it was happening all over.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I figured if I could make it through Nixon, Reagan, and both Bushes, I will probably make it through this asshat, too. Though I’m getting kinda pissed at my countrymen who don’t vote and allow these dickheads to get elected.

      • Erala Contratista

        And McCarthy too, also!

        “At last, have you no shame”???!? Stock up on popcorn!

    • shivaskeeper

      We all go through it in one way or another. The big trick has always been how to keep going on when you don;t see the way. Sometimes it helps to look outside your normal sphere to see a bigger picture.

      I read a post a few months ago by David Gerold, I think. He was talking about feeling something similar, but then got a chance to go see the Space X project in person. His take away, was none of the people working on that think there is no future or they would have just packed it all up already.

      Possibly look to people and projects like that or even smaller scale for inspiration?

    • NastyBossetti

      I don’t suffer from depression, so I really can’t speak to that except to say talk to your doctor before that becomes too difficult.
      I have been experiencing general malaise and uncertainty about the future. However, there WILL be a future, and we all need to keep acting like it. No need to fuck ourselves over because of this mess. Take care of yourself and your life. Try not to look at the overall state of things you should have done because that will make it overwhelming. Pick one task at a time, focus on that, and get it done before doing anything else. Then take a break if you need it before picking another task.

      • SnarkON

        This.

      • grindstone

        I have a kid. I have to assume there will be a future and it will be decent for him, whatever I have to do to make it that way. It’s fucking daunting, is what it is! I try to remember Kinky Friedman’s anecdote about Willy Nelson and another performer who were stuck facing an angry crowd between them and their bus. Willy’s comment was, “Any chance we have to fuck our way out of this?” ;-)

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      Sounds like depression, sure enough.

      All I can tell you is this: I was born a pessimistic misanthrope who loves animals, distrusts humans, and lives in a constant state of mourning for all that is being lost. I have never had an ounce of faith in anything, and everything that has happened since 11/9 has lived up to my worst expectations.

      That said: I live for fighting the good fight! Find others, join together, and give ’em ever-loving’ hell!

      Also too: being in nature, friends, culture, laughter, adventure: life has much to offer if you can switch that dark part of your brain off long enough. I’ve been doing it all my life, and it’s getting easier with age.

      • keenanjay

        Sounds like a great bumper sticker…
        Never Forget
        11/9

      • Erala Contratista

        Yes! To this!
        Depression comes and goes, when I’m feeling it, I seek out quiet, beauty, friends, the Contratisto and music. Also just got a DVD of “Old Jews Telling Jokes” which made both of us laugh, also Ernie Kovacs (we are Olds).
        Plus my black Scots outlook keeps me in anticipation of the future.

    • MizzMazz

      Try to do just one little thing a day to begin with. One bill. One good meal. Try to get outside for some fresh air. If you need help, ask for it – you have friends and allies you may not be aware of. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s worth it to get someone else to do your taxes; I freak out about them, I know. Take a break from the politics, even for a few hours, and do something you love, or something completely new. We are here for you.

      • Little Doll–MOAMF

        Definitely sometimes have to take a politics break. It’s why I’m no longer “Dee Andee”–I cancelled that Twitter account because I had so many political accounts I followed there that it was like slow poison, drip drip drip, all day, every day. I do better sticking to Wonkette, where at least the poison is served with a big platter of humor.

        But yes. Take 3-4 days and don’t look at anything political. It’s amazing to come back and realize the sky hasn’t fallen yet. It really helps.

        • MizzMazz

          I have to take those breaks now and again, even from here, but what’s wonderful is that Wonkette will always be here, and this wonderful community. Time to send the Wonkette crew some of my Soros money in thanks.

    • marxalot

      I feel like this, but I’m still functioning. Not sure how: I feel like I’m two people. One works out, is cutting down on sugar, making plans for September, paying bills and reducing the student loans, walks the dog, etc. The other… well, the other one is all START SMOKING AGAIN BUY A NORTON AND WRECK IT STREET RACING EAT CAKE AND STEAK WEAR GUCCI DROP ACID BATHE IN GIN GET A PLASMA TV FUCK STRANGERS NOTHING MATTERS.
      I haven’t relaxed my jaw since November.

      • Suttree

        I’ve been thinking about buying a Triumph. I hesitate because I’m broke, and also my baby cousin just got run over by a car about 8 months ago on hers.She broke everything below the knee! Everything!

    • A local NPR radio show covered this last week–you are not alone. I don’t know if this will help, but give it a listen for a while:

      http://wnpr.org/post/are-you-cracking-under-weight-your-political-stress

    • SnarkON

      I feel this way, though perhaps not to such a degree. But Good God, Yall — if I may offer some constructive advice, at least try to stay healthy. There *will* be a tomorrow, and if you succumb to overeating and too much weight gain, you’ll just be punishing yourself, and then the terrorists have won.

    • grindstone

      “I know that part of the problem is my depression trying to flare up again”

      Honey, I don’t know you, but I would say it HAS flared up again. My armchair advice is to treat this like you would any depressive episode. What’s happened since 11/9 is real, we do have to face it, and we do have to do some self-care to get through it. Get whatever help you would normally get, and soon, because I look forward to your non-comments.

    • Persistent Demme

      Do you have a pet?
      Nothing like focusing on the needs of a dog or cat to make you think of the future.
      And see a doctor.
      Sounds like depression to me.
      You are not alone.
      Take care.

    • louça louca

      It’s not just you, and I think your depression is definitely flaring up and you should seek some additional help to get through this patch. I’m bipolar and finally on a good combo of meds that works, but post election has made symptoms harder to manage, so I have some idea of what you are going through.

      One piece of advice that has worked for me is to try to look at your situation as if you were a close friend going through a rough patch. Chances are if you’re depressed, you’re not being very kind to yourself. Think of how you would want to be kind to your friend in a similar disgusting and try to be nicer to you.

      Besides, barring a collapsing universe, there’s always going to be a future. Even if Hillary had won, we would still be dealing with all kinds of problems like climate, racism, Syria, etc. Sure djt is sucky, but ultimately he’s more a symptom than a cause. There’s lots of good out there and its springtime.

      I would also limit my consumption of news, even wonket, for a while. As therapeutic as this place is the daily deluge of djt sewage is enough to bring down anybody.

    • Yr. Gma

      So it could be another bout of denial, but I’m looking at history with this thing. I was an adult through Watergate, and I see so many parallels. The big picture, to me, is the trajectory of this asshole and his administration. Nixon didn’t just up and resign. It took a long time, with lots and lots of turmoil along the way before he finally left. It was drip, drip, drip. Same thing here. The trajectory for Donnie is down. (That they had to have a brain storming session to come up with a list of his accomplishments says plenty.) During the long nightmare of Watergate, Nixon’s trajectory was downward (although it wasn’t a straight line.) Donnie’s trajectory is downward, and though he has his “presidential” moments (according to some), the trend is still downward. I’m trying to be patient. Watergate was a long slog, but I lived through it. I’m taking that attitude here.

    • aureolaborealis

      Distraction and escapism have helped me a lot. Reading (something other than political commentary), learning something new, playing immersive video games. Every day I don’t spend keeping myself relentlessly updated on current events is usually a good day psychologically. You can keep yourself informed enough to do your part in all this without destroying your psyche.
      I’ve stopped drinking almost completely since 11/9, too, but I’ve been using cannabis to sleep (instead of the pharmaceuticals I had been prescribed). Those two details have combined to dramatically improve my quality of life.
      It’s cliché, but exercise regularly, even if you hate it and it seems pointless and ridiculous.
      Oh, and start paying your bills and do your taxes. Making even a little bit of progress every day will make you feel better about yourself.

    • CripesAmighty

      I have become a world-renowned expert on medieval Britain ( at least to the extent that watching old BBC documentaries by the bucketful allow…).

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Does Fawlty Towers count? That’s my go-to. I don’t care if there are only 12 episodes.

        • CripesAmighty

          Only as a gateway to Flying Circus. “This–is an ex-parrot!”

    • Swampgas_Man

      I’ll be honest– when this hit me, I had to stay away from even NICE political sites like our Wonkerz for a couple weeks, avoid any news reports about That Man, and lots and lots of sleep. If you don’t get out of it in a couple weeks, get professional help.

    • @MrsRazor66

      My husband watches news constantly and reads it online and we’ve never fought as much as we do now. We’re expecting our 3rd baby in 3 months, which it took 5 years and 7 losses to get here and I fear we’ll divorce before Lincoln is born, it’s gotten so bad. I feel like I can’t do anything about it. I try to tell him about good books to read, as that used to be our thing together, or say let’s go do yoga or get dancing lessons or something that will take his mind away from it and he refuses. I’m at my wits end and don’t know what to do… so it’s obviously not just you. It’s hitting a lot of people in different ways.

      • @MrsRazor66

        Could just be pregnancy hormones or realizing how much of our good selves Trump has taken from us from reading the reply comments, but now I’m crying… When it was announced he won on 11/9 I cried for a week, and I wasn’t even pregnant then. When I told my 8 year old daughter, she started crying and saying, “I don’t want to die, Trump loves war” and I wish I could tell her different. But it looks like she’s right. It’s bullshit what this man, who only cares about himself, has done to all of us just by being there and what he’s done to this country, but most of all, the fear he has put into my 8 year old daughter. It’s truly heartbreaking…

    • SeeTrain65

      My Xanax intake going from 0 to 60 in six seconds flat tells you how I’ve been doing lately.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      It isn’t just you. It’s very important to find a way through. Treat this depression as you have other episodes, step away from the news for a while (maybe several days). Tackle your bills – just pay one today, one tomorrow. File your taxes – you may be due a refund!

      And for me – and this is weird because I hate the out of doors – I went to the local Botanical Garden over the weekend and wandered around the blooming trees and flowers, enjoyed a coffee with some friends on the garden’s patio, and came home feeling a lot better. It might have been the flowers and it might have been the friends. I strongly recommend both.

      Know that we are with you!!

  • efoveks

    I hear a Nuremberg defense in all this, and you know who “inspired” “those people”?

    • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

      “I vass only fallowink ordahss”

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        “I know knossink! But if I do, Trump is ze one who knew it first!”

  • Pazuzu75

    “Bamberger “admits only that he touched a woman,” but that he “denies that he assaulted the woman.””

    That’s an interesting legal ploy: defend yourself from an assault accusation by admitting to battery.

    I’m guessing the “I committed battery but not assault” defense isn’t going to work out too well.

    • clairence

      “Touch her like Trump” isn’t a valid defense?

      • MizzMazz

        It’s not even a good rap song.

        • clairence

          Maybe a Country/Western ballad

          • MizzMazz

            They would love that shit. Some kind of ‘he hit me, but it felt like a kiss’ bullshit. Instant hit with the coal rolling confederate flag waving assholes.

      • Bitter Scribe

        It’s a sex crime.

    • Panika MCD

      so he is retroactively famous and was just grabbing her by the pussy which she knows, as a now famous person, means that she just let him do it?

  • Parakeetist
  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    The best thing about this story is that the Trump racist is as irresponsible as Trump.

  • theblackdog

    He’s the kind of guy who blames his wife for making him so mad he punches her, isn’t he?

  • chicken thief

    If his defense works will it be known forever more as the “Heimbach Maneuver”?

    • And if his defense does not work, well, he choked.

  • chicken thief

    “…one of the women who had been pushing, shoving, barking, and screaming at the attendees for the better part of an hour,” …”

    Which, as we all know, is permissible only if Buff Nordic Jesus told you to do it outside of an Abortionplex.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Terrible. Those protesters were a 2 and a half. 3 at best. Very sick people. Paid. Sad!

  • capnkrunch

    A slightly different perspective from Popehat:

    Viewed this way, Bamberger’s cross-claim is utterly mundane — a legal
    way of saying “it’s not my fault, it’s my codefendant’s fault, and he
    should pay.” It’s extremely misleading to portray it as if Bamberger
    independently sued Trump for damages for Trump. He’s not asking Trump
    to pay him, he’s asking Trump to pay if and only if Bamberger gets hit
    with a judgment.

    Doesn’t make it any less hypocritical coming from the “party of personal responsibility” though.

  • Panika MCD

    wait…so deals he made with the government for a government lease while he was still a “private citizen” who happened to be both a reality TV star host (not a private citizen) and a candidate for POTUS (also too not a private citizen) don’t count as violations of the Emoluments Clause AND AND AND he is free of liability because he won the election even though he could be tried as a “private citizen” for things he said while campaigning. can we get an agreement on what the fuck he is? because he doesn’t seem to even know.

    • Khavrinen

      Starting to sound as confusing as those Sovereign Citizen whackos…

      • Panika MCD

        OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! he’s a sovereign citizen. that explains EVERYTHING. thanks.

  • JParkerSD46

    You know what other punk-ass Nazis said they were merely following the orders of their leader? Yeah, those Nazis. Way to go, tough guy.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    The pointy thing on the top of the flag ple is called a pike. You should write that down, because it will be on the test.

    • HazooToo

      Easy to remember. That’s the sort of thing you put heads on. Usually those of tyrants or traitors.

    • There’s a fish atop the flagpole? Eurgh

      • Sidebar: it occurs to me that you can sing “fish atop the flagpole” to the tune of “Food Around The Corner”, which is a not unpleasant way to pass the time.

  • Girliebird

    “I’m too big an asshole to live and you didn’t stop me, so it’s YOUR fault!”

  • CripesAmighty

    “Next on ‘Despot Divorce Court…”

  • JD Mulvey

    They’re nuts –and I hope they win.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    “It was Trump’s fault!!! NOT MEEE!”

    That’s almost like something a coward would say! Weird that somehow, in both of those cases, Libtard Agitators obviously must have sneaked in and replaced their real legal filings with ones that are ridiculous and make them both look like weak-ass mewling cowards!

    The efforts they go to, those evil Libtards, to make the Good Upstanding Rightwing™ look awful!

  • phoenix00

    “He told me to do it” writ large.

    Bunch of children. All of them.

    • SeeTrain65

      “I was only following orders.”

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