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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

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  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • MynameisBlarney

      Good mornin’ and good luck!

    • Oblios_Cap

      since you are a prolific non-commenter, I predict you’ll get the job. Succes!

    • Painter of Goats

      Bon chance!

    • Contemplative Ron

      Break a leg!

    • calliecallie

      Good luck!

  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Nounverb911
    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      “Federal taxes are due today, I am told.” #DeletedTrumpTweets

      • From Russia with Love

        “No Honey, that can’t be right, can it?”

        — Mrs Trump

  • beingreleased

    Here’s something to inspire confidence:
    1) Trump apparently doesn’t know the North Korean leader’s name.
    B) Trump apparently thinks that Clinton made a deal with Kim Yong-un.

    I hope things work out well. I hope there’s going to be peace, but you know, they’ve been talking with this gentleman for a long time. You read Clinton’s book, he said, ‘Oh we made such a great peace deal,’ and it was a joke. You look at different things over the years with President Obama. Everybody’s been outplayed. They’ve all been outplayed by this gentleman and we’ll see what happens. But I just don’t telegraph my moves.

    http://gizmodo.com/wait-does-donald-trump-know-the-leader-of-north-koreas-1794407350

    • Oblios_Cap

      He doesn’t telegraph his moves because he can’t think that far ahead.

      • PubOption

        And he’s afraid his telegraph wires are tappped.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      All mouth and no trousers

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “Congratulations to Turkey POTUS on huge victory yesterday. Will stop TERIBLE protesters disrupting his country. #MTGA ” #DeletedTrumpTweets

  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Nounverb911
  • Oblios_Cap

    Jim Bakker is still alive and groping guys in the sauna, eh? I guess it is true – only the good die young.

  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Vincent Ricola

    C’mon Georgia, Jon Ossoff for the win! If you don’t love him for his policies, love him because he is a smoking young hottie!

  • Oblios_Cap

    Gerrit Lansing’s joint roles, while legal, have raised questions of cronyism and profit-making at the Republican National Committee

    Why, he sounds like the very epitome of a Republican.

  • Bebecca

    KellyAnne maybe should read something into ending her long silence by being allowed to speak at the Easter Egg party. Just sayin’….

  • Nounverb911
    • vivian

      Wow. After watching this for a couple of minutes, I no longer have the urge to smoke!

      (you are getting sleeeeepy)

  • Nounverb911
    • Oblios_Cap

      …And all of the darker skinned people were deported. The end.

      • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

        Or turned into “Strange Fruit”

    • Vincent Ricola

      The children would’ve probably enjoyed stories about the magical cookie tree Jeff Session’s people originated from much more than the cliche bunny story.

    • SeeTrain65

      “I readed this book all bah muh-sailf.”

  • Chadwells

    Reading those bullet points is like taking a flurry of jabs to the face…Christ…stop hitting me!!! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/441a3bb19d6fbadc7157de1d27da382df478af5760012bc950b42d3288472f6c.gif

  • Oblios_Cap

    A Chicago detective framing people? Color me shocked!

  • Nounverb911
    • Oblios_Cap

      That scum-sucker will do anything and throw anybody under the bus to save himself. For a guy who supposedly values loyalty, Trump has surrounded himself with the biggest bunch of people who only look out for themselves.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Oh sky god, please let me live long enough to enjoy Ghouliani’s eventual perp walk.

      • Parakeetist

        Me too please.

    • Chadwells

      For a guy who claims to have brought down the mob…he learned nothing about keeping your mouth shut. Gutless sack of shit. I hope he rots in prison with those same monsters he put away. That would be some sweet sweet justice right there!!!

    • wait! what?

      The first thing Rudi learned to say in Russian:

      девять / одиннадцать

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Somehow this reminds me of Pearl Carr & Teddy Johnson’s second place song in Eurovision 1959.
      /pythoned

      • I had got over that and YOU REMIND ME

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Mao?

    • vivian

      “If Giuliani’s smart…”? hahahahahahahahaha!

  • Lulu Mac

    It’s kind of scary how complacent I am getting about all of this…like, seriously, just wake me up when the nuclear winter begins because I just can’t even anymore…ugh…

    • Parakeetist

      Me neither. I’m making a fort out of pillows.

    • Contemplative Ron

      It wears you down. What you end up with is Russia in the 70s – people uncomplainingly putting up with endless fuckery and only able to cope with alcohol and bleak humour.

      • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

        Looks like I picked the wrong decade to quit drinking

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Wow. Tom Cotton gets cheers from crowd after whinging about “liberal judges and politically correct pharmaceutical companies” teaming up to halt the always popular Mass Execution Week. You be you, Arkansas.

    • Nounverb911
      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Indeed…I just thought it telling that his supporters in the crowd were more enthusiastically vocal about murdering 8 people than any other issue.

        • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

          And untold brown people too, also.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Here’s my take on capital punishment. Point 1: We might as well get rid of it. It doesn’t do anything useful, and (under the current system) there’s always the possibility, however remote, that you might kill an innocent person. Point 2: However: if you’re going to do it at all, you might as well do it right:

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dfa0c00bd0cb3bee8dbff9dfd4270481a8097dff6d6508b0fa545933512e2e27.jpg

      • ariel_gee_398

        We have executed someone innocent relatively recently. Cameron Todd Willingham – railroaded by a gung-ho prosecutor who faced ethics charges for his handling of the case and a practioner of junk science on how fires behave. That should be enough to turn everyone off it, but some humans ain’t human. Our sainted Scalia thought there was some acceptable risk of killing innocents as long as we got to kill a couple baddies, too.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Morons, con men and sadists can all exploit the current fucked-up system. As long as it’s like that, the death penalty should be off. the. table.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Aside from being an ineffective deterrent and unjustly utilized, the entire death penalty apparatus brutalizes and dehumanizes everyone it touches…the convicted and their families, the families of the victims, fellow convicts, corrections officers, those tasked with carrying out legal murder. Sister Helen Prejean has written very poignantly about this.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            That too.

          • ariel_gee_398

            At least Susan Sarandon didn’t ruin her

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Probably the only kind thing left I have to say about Sarandon.

          • calliecallie

            She’s has some very poignant – or maybe pointed – tweets on this lately too. Responding to Arkansas politicians telling their constituents “Happy Easter.” Good for her.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            She’s a formidable woman…as many nuns are.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          And Willingham was white. You’d think that alone would be enough to get Republicans to rethink the whole concept.

          • ariel_gee_398

            He was poor, so that’s enough to make people like Scalia think it will never happen to them.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I’m sure Hillary had that in mind while she was pressing that pillow down over his face.

          • ariel_gee_398

            If only she had brought her murder pillow over to visit Huma and Anthony…

          • That’s what they all think before the pillow shows up…

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          This is the case that finally changed my opinion for good about the death penalty. I had been wavering, for what now seem like shamefully shallow reasons, but after the obvious murder of an innocent man, I came around.

      • The conservative estimate has over 4% of capital sentences as miscarriages because …

        “Gross and his co-authors estimate that 36% of all those sentenced to death between 1973 and 2004 – some 2,675 people – were taken off death row after doubts about their convictions were raised.”

        Rate of false conviction of criminal defendants who are sentenced to death – PNAS May 2014
        as reported by The Guardian

        So somewhere between 1 in 25 and 1 in 3 executions are unjustified

      • Shibusa

        ‘Anatomy of Injustice: A Murder Case Gone Wrong’ by Raymond Bonner changed my view of the death penalty. Edward Lee Elmore (who was illiterate and seriously mentally impaired) served 29 years on death row for a crime he did not commit. What was done to him, over and over, by the justice system was just so wrong.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Yeah – even if the death penalty were gone forever, there’s a lot more to fix in the American justice system. But at least the mental torture of being held on ‘death row’ for years could be eliminated.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I worked with a guy who was on death row. Store owner gets killed in a robbery. Guy comes home, and his mother tells him the police are looking for him and his friend. She goes down to the cop station to straighten things out, and he’s arrested along with his friend, tried, convicted, and sentenced to death. The SC rules the electric chair is cruel and unusual, and the gov commutes all death penalty inmates to life in prison without parole. Project Innocence takes up the case, finds that the prosecution hid exculpatory evidence from the defense, and gets both men released from prison.

          • Shibusa

            Wow. (Did you happen to see “Rectify” on Netflix? Loved it. It’s about a guy on death row who gets released after 20 years…)

          • Celtic_Gnome

            The guy I worked with went in at 23 and got out at 46. His friend got out first with a multi-million dollar settlement, plunged headlong into sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll, and, numerous DUI’s later, died of a heart attack. The guy I worked with had lawyers who decided he probably ought to have a job for the structure in his life despite the big settlement.

          • Shibusa
      • SweetDeeKat

        Despite being a godless librul, I’ve wavered throughout my life, having worked on some horrific cases. The March Harpers has a thoughtful article for people like me:
        http://harpers.org/archive/2017/03/a-matter-of-life/1/

    • SeeTrain65

      “Excuse me … I ordered that.”

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        “I’ll have what SHE’s having.”

    • Chadwells

      Yum.

    • Nounverb911

      Plate looks furrin!

      • Plate is large enough to hold large slice of cake, so, perfect

        • Contemplative Ron

          So where’s the large slice of cake?

          • willi0000000

            what’s shown in the pic is “what’s left” , , , i want the slice that was taken from that!

          • I also cut a slice to pack for lunch at work later

    • memzilla Ω

      Cake for breakfast. Who says adulting can’t be fun?

    • Contemplative Ron

      Cake. It’s not just for breakfast any more.

    • HazooToo

      Not the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake, but I’d announce a bomb strike over it!

      • SweetDeeKat

        Middle son made toll house cookies with chocolate and butterscotch chips last night. Breakfast of champions!

        • HazooToo

          Ohhhhhhh, that sounds perfect!

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      You’re not ordering any missile strikes, are you?

  • wait! what?

    Trump will direct all businesses to hire Americans, and instruct federal agencies to buy American.

    I think the next pass will be:

    “Trump will direct all businesses to buy Americans.”

    • Celtic_Gnome

      But they can still have all their products made overseas, right? Asking for an Ivanka.

  • memzilla Ω

    In an E.O. expected to be signed later today, Trump will direct all businesses to hire Americans…

    Somebody should tell Eric Joonyur about this, he wants furriners for his winery. In fact someone should tell Lord Dampnut hisself about this, since he’s hiring furriners at Mar-A-Lago. What a duplicitous smegma-splat of mendacity.

  • baconzgood

    OT.

    Lesson’s Baconzgood has learned.

    #2,586

    If you say “Go Fuck YOURSELF!!!” to the director of a half-way house for criminals you lose your smoking privileges for a week.

    • snark-lurker

      do you recall Lesson #2,585?

      • SeeTrain65

        “Contrary to popular belief, bed sheets do not make decent ropes in an emergency.”

        • Oblios_Cap

          Yes, but they makes a good costume for Steve Bannon.

      • baconzgood

        Freeze dried coffee is really the devils diarrhea.

        • Oblios_Cap

          I went to the coast and couldn’t find a single postcard for sale. But I was thinking of you. I’m too busy with school and work to do much of anything the next few weeks.

          This country is really going to hell when there aren’t cheesy postcards for sale on the coast in Flor-i-duh. I’m blaming Rick Scott.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Try to be like water, as Bruce Lee would say. I know it’s tough, Baconz, *you* know I know.

      ~hugs~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJMwBwFj5nQ

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The word “please” is your friend, hombre. Use it.

      • Shanzgood

        Considering the circumstances, I’m not sure I wouldn’t have said worse. And louder. And for longer. And at least he apologized right after.

        • Oblios_Cap

          good Baconz!

          • Shanzgood

            Bad me, though. I have a long fuse but there’s a huge bomb at the end of it and I’m pretty sure mine would have gone off already.

          • Oblios_Cap

            It takes a lot to get me really pissed of anymore but when I do, it’s best to stay away.

    • HazooToo

      Do you know of anyone we could contact about this place that wouldn’t eventually connect back to you? They’re utter assholes and I want to do something, but also don’t want to screw you in the process.

      • baconzgood

        I’m going to call the DHS on one of the dudes here. He’s an ass hole and happens to be a mooslum.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Seems like, if you ARE the director of a half-way house for criminals, you would expect the occasional go fuck yourself. Perhaps he is director of the wrong half?

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      What is wrong with wishing someone pleasure?

      • BearGHAZI

        Amen!

  • Nounverb911

    So DeVos’s brother is in on the Russian deal too?
    https://twitter.com/davidjoachim/status/854317676549820418

  • OneYieldRegular

    So we were down on California’s amazing Carrizo Plain a couple of weeks ago, and if ever there was an illustration of how wretchedly awful this administration is, it’s that they’ve chosen this image for the Bureau of Land Management website:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bb2eb4de5166fb8818dcabc4c28ddef4904a7a3579372e0b49631b861c2e784a.jpg

    …when this image is what one can find on BLM land:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fb52ef492937d30970a380fc31798ea500686f451c9ae1fce5b8d79b01559888.jpg

    • Chadwells

      That super bloom is crazy!!! Gorgeous!

    • SeeTrain65

      “This could be your National Park. This is the number to call.”

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      If Trump and Pruitt get their wishes, the entire fucking country will look like the Alberta Tar Sands…with the Cuyahoga River aflame running through the middle of it.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Make
        America
        iGnite
        Again

      • OneYieldRegular

        That bottom photo is the Temblor Range. On the west side of it is Carrizo Plain, a.k.a. California’s Serengeti, now a national monument thanks to Bill Clinton. On the east side of it is a stark reminder of what Carrizo would have looked like if its GOP opponents had blocked Carrizo N.M.: a vast sea of oil derricks and access roads, one of the most scarred landscapes in the entire state, and site of the largest oil spill in history on land or at sea.

      • Jeffocaster in the desert
        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Never too early for a song.

  • The Librarian

    Apr 17, 2017 — New Cosponsors

    H.R. 676: Expanded & Improved Medicare For All Act

    New Cosponsor: Rep. Vicente Gonzalez [D-TX15]

    New Cosponsor: Rep. Ed Perlmutter [D-CO7]

    New Cosponsor: Rep. Jared Polis [D-CO2]

    New Cosponsor: Rep. Gregorio Sablan [D-MP0]

    New Cosponsor: Rep. Adam Smith [D-WA9]

    The bill now has 98 cosponsors (98 Democrats).

    • Parakeetist

      Yes

    • Lulu Mac

      Hey! My “blue dog” dem rep just joined on. Color me shocked!

    • calliecallie

      So we like this bill, right? Is it single-payer?

      • Antonin Dvorak

        Yes we do. Here is a summary:

        Expanded & Improved Medicare for All Act

        This bill establishes the Medicare for All Program to provide all individuals residing in the United States and U.S. territories with free health care that includes all medically necessary care, such as primary care and prevention, dietary and nutritional therapies, prescription drugs, emergency care, long-term care, mental health services, dental services, and vision care.

        Only public or nonprofit institutions may participate. Nonprofit health maintenance organizations (HMOs) that deliver care in their own facilities may participate.

        Patients may choose from participating physicians and institutions.

        Health insurers may not sell health insurance that duplicates the benefits provided under this bill. Insurers may sell benefits that are not medically necessary, such as cosmetic surgery benefits.

        The bill sets forth methods to pay institutional providers and health professionals for services. Financial incentives between HMOs and physicians based on utilization are prohibited.

        The program is funded: (1) from existing sources of government revenues for health care, (2) by increasing personal income taxes on the top 5% of income earners, (3) by instituting a progressive excise tax on payroll and self-employment income, (4) by instituting a tax on unearned income, and (5) by instituting a tax on stock and bond transactions. Amounts that would have been appropriated for federal public health care programs, including Medicare, Medicaid, and the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP), are transferred and appropriated to carry out this bill.

        The program must give employment transition benefits and first priority in retraining and job placement to individuals whose jobs are eliminated due to reduced clerical and administrative work under this bill.

        The Department of Health and Human Services must create a confidential electronic patient record system.

        The bill establishes a National Board of Universal Quality and Access to provide advice on quality, access, and affordability.

        The Indian Health Service must be integrated into the program after five years. Congress must evaluate the continued independence of Department of Veterans Affairs health programs.

        • The Librarian

          Lol, I was just about to post this. Thank you!

      • It is. Jan schakowsky had a good description last night and where it is in process (not all Dems can support it yet depending on their committee assignments but it sounds like nearly all Dems ACTUALLY support it).

        She also reminded us that back in 2009, there WAS single payer in the house version of the bill that went to the senate. But fucking Lieberman pulled his support on a sunday talk show and killed it.

  • Nounverb911
    • Anna Elizabeth

      Geez Louise

    • PubOption

      he was frowning while being sprayed. Someone mentioned Melania or Tiffany.

  • Left Coast Tom

    In an E.O. expected to be signed later today, Trump will direct all businesses to hire Americans, and instruct federal agencies to buy American, so don’t take any shit from some layabout brat this summer, olds!

    The metric system is the tool of the devil! My car gets 40 rods to the hogshead and that’s the way I likes it!

    • PubOption

      520 US gallons per mile by my calculations. At that rate you will go bankrupt more often than Donnie.

      • Contemplative Ron

        We had a 1963 Plymouth Max Wedge replica once that got mileage like that.

        • willi0000000

          i had a ’61 Ford Fairlane 500 that got worse mileage . . . with a small V8

          [ worst engine ever built ]

    • PubOption

      Chinese pipe may still be used where expedient.

  • snigsy

    Those baby goats are adorable. Maybe we can have them as our overlords?

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Donald Trump pays no money in taxes, but to be a good sport, he’s going to write out a yooge check to the IRS for them to all go out and buy a frapuccino.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Maybe he can have a big ceremony to donate his next large rubber foam paycheck to the IRS.

  • stankbait

    God damn! There is a lot of shit going on.
    If you are playing whacka mole you have
    plenty of targets.

  • Nounverb911
    • Parakeetist

      Maxine in 2020!

    • ManchuCandidate

      But but but her hair!

      -Bill “My favorite work suit is my sexual harassment suit” O’Really

      • Jacquelynrharrison

        Managing director of Google!, is explaining to users to start off “Work at home” method, that People have been doing for about one year now. These days alone, I generated close to $36,000 until now with no more than my home computer as well as some spare time, despite that i have a fulltime 9 to 5 job. Even everyone not used to this, can make $89/per h easily and the earnings can go even higher over time… This is how i started
        !sy264c:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs554MarketNovaGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!sy264c:….,……

  • LarryHoudini

    The magic of the marketplace is competition, which forces companies to either make better products or shut down.
    Anyways—MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! BUY ONLY AMERICAN!!!
    🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸

    • ManchuCandidate

      Trump don’t like competition… because he usually loses

      See Trump Taj Mahal (everyone else in Atlantic City)
      See USFL (NFL)
      See 2016 election (well popular vote anyway…)
      See pretty much anything Trump touched in his life.

      • Jennifer R

        Everything donnie touches turns to shit. People need to get cracking on making lemonade.

        • Shanzgood

          I don’t think lemonade would be very good made with shit.

        • Oblios_Cap

          King Midas in reverse!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Taj Mahal? Shouldn’t it be named after something less furren?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      That means none of his shitty ties, or Ivankas not so great clothing.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Uh okay Jim Bakker. I guess he was too busy groveling for cash to remember.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tea_Party_protests

    • Contemplative Ron

      Yes, but he didn’t see any of them. Perhaps he was looking the other way.

  • Jennifer R

    A reminder for that people who didn’t check in last night, Georgia had FOUR electronic voting machines stolen over the weekend and no one reported it until now.
    https://twitter.com/th3j35t3r/status/854190554736939008

    • Lance Thrustwell

      And, lemme guess – they were stolen from blue districts?

      • Jennifer R

        These had poll worker’s master voter registration records on them. So every registered voter’s name and address.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          The plot sickens!

          • Jennifer R

            I assume there was a blitz of targeted voter disinformation yesterday/today.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            I confess, I feel equally angry at the people who perpetrate that shit and the gullible morons who are so vulnerable to it.

          • Claire

            A person who actually says “Well, I was going to vote for this guy, but then I saw a Facebook ad this morning so I guess I won’t” is a person who should not be allowed to vote.

          • Jennifer R

            Ossof’s best chance to win is to get 50 +1 today.

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            And Trump twitters in at the last moment with a metric fuckton of lies, that probably sound exactly like whatever propaganda was released on those feeds yesterday.

        • ZAmazingProfessionalCrastinatr

          So the GOP can delete only Dems in the next round of voter purges.

    • Oblios_Cap

      If you can’t trust a GOP election official, who can you trust?

    • Wild Cat

      Democratic Party officials MUST protest now nationwide; repression of the vote is not acceptable.

    • willi0000000

      don’t worry . . . i’m sure they’ll show up in time to be counted.

  • memzilla Ω
    • wait! what?

      Secretary of State Brian Kemp has criticized the county elections office for waiting two days to publicize the theft. His office has rendered the stolen units ineffective.

      Nothing like a good head start to make a clean getaway.

  • Nounverb911
  • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

    How can Huckabee be straddled by Obama? There is no way in hell he’s a top.

  • wait! what?

    WHINSEC will get testy if you don’t give them credit for structured gang operations in central, and south, America.

  • Nounverb911
  • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

    Anyone who has ever worked under federal contracts knows that you already have to buy American whenever possible. To make a capital purchase from a foreign country, you have to prove that the price difference is not the sole reason.

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      Yeah, but Trump likes to pretend he is actually doing something.

      • Claire

        And now that he’s said it in public his idiot base will go around telling each other that Preznit Trump done made it ILLEAGAL to hire anyone from Not-Murrica!

  • Contemplative Ron

    Bad omen: Disqus is ALREADY fucking up on me.

  • Antonin Dvorak
    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      “Vote Motherfuckers!”?

      • Antonin Dvorak

        Close:
        We have to channel the great vengeance and furious anger we have for this administration into votes at the ballot box.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    ADJECTIVE! NOUN! U.S.A! U.SA! Also too, adverb and possessive!
    My
    Ass (is)
    Ginormous
    Already!
    USA! USA!

    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/07/11/article-2171634-1401AB1C000005DC-116_306x513.jpg

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      As his torso balloons, he’s starting to look like Michael Keaton at the very end of Beetlejuice when his head gets shrunk in the waiting line.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Looks like he’s put on even more weight since that pic was taken:
      (Reports are he’s added 60+ lbs since he started his assault to the White House.)

      http://i.imgur.com/WZGDqfI.jpg

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        “Greens” are also something a lard-ass should be eating. Just sayin’…

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          I get the sense he feels the same way about salads as he does about Mexicans.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Those pants sure make his ass look big.

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          As Al Bundy used to say to Peg, “It’s not the pants that make your ass look big.”

        • Bill D. Burger

          The caption should also read:

          “THIS ASS MAKES OUR COUNTRY LOOK SMALL.”

      • Claire

        I wonder if anyone’s pointed this out to him or if his staff just quietly replaces his clothes with the next size up as needed.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Maybe if Ivanka were to tell him she no longer finds him sexually attractive.

          Sorry.

          • Wild Cat

            Love means never having to say you’re sorry . . . or some other pabulum people used to yammer.

      • Wild Cat

        Is that Curt Schilling dripping out of Its’ asshole?

      • Little Doll–MOAMF
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Contemplative Ron

      Good thing it wasn’t wasted on all that stuff, eh?

    • calliecallie

      Needz moar time frame.

  • Nounverb911
    • Oblios_Cap

      I’m rooting for Tennant and Baker.

      • Though i have to say, capaldi has always intrigued me.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Who?

    • wait! what?

      Tennant for life!

      • Lance Thrustwell

        He had the perfect name for playing the Doctor, didn’t he?

        • wait! what?

          I don’t know… I’ve always considered David more of a Hebrew name…

          • Shanzgood

            Wales is absolutely lousy with Davids, though.

          • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

            Aren’t they something like Daveed or Divid or something?

          • Dafydd (pronounced Davith)

          • Shanzgood

            Dafydd. It’s lucky to have a vowel in it.

          • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

            I wonder if Welsh and Czech are related languages

          • Shanzgood

            The Welsh say their language comes directly from the angels, or something like that.

            Angels with mouths full of taffy.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            The “w” in “cwm” is still a vowel, so no.

          • aureolaborealis
          • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

            I loved that show

          • wait! what?

            That’s only because they can leap from London to Cardiff in a single bound.

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/94df94f31b081ca46e281448e060c272d12a8d686de675afad9d1d50806360cd.gif

      • Little Doll–MOAMF

        You might enjoy this–a doll blog I follow costumed two dolls as DW and Rose and took them to the Doctor Who Experience for photos:

        http://www.swish-swirl.com/2017/03/16/tenth-doctor-and-rose-in-the-doctor-who-experience/

        • wait! what?

          Sweet. Thanks for posting.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          You know, I should have realized that ‘doll blogs’ were a thing. But it never occurred to me. Thanks for expanding my world a little this morning.

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            LOL, there are blogs for everything.

            I didn’t know either until I started researching the doll market. There are even YouTube channels run by little girls who film themselves unwrapping new doll clothes their mothers have bought them on Etsy.. That’s when I knew there was still a market for what I used to do and plan to do again. :)

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      I only know the one from Harry Potter. From Harry Potter. I have never made it through an entire episode of DW.

      • Jennifer R

        I usually make people watch an episode called “Blink” first. The doctor basically isn’t in it and is totally stand alone in plot. Plus it’s really an entertaining 40 minutes.

        • Shanzgood

          Oh god, that’s nightmare fodder.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        The older ones especially are an acquired taste for many people. If you don’t have an affection for low-budget sci-fi in general, they can be a bit of a hard slog.

        • PubOption

          I’m not sure that Hartnell was ever likeable.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Hogwarts new staff seems promising. I wonder if they take American children.

    • Shanzgood

      I was really partial to Ecclestone.

      • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

        He is an amazing actor. Have you caught any of his non-Who stuff?

        • Shanzgood

          Yes! I fell in lust with him and Daniel Craig and Gina McKee in “Our Friends in the North”!

          • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

            Belated: I haven’t seen that one. My personal fave of those I’ve watched is Shallow Grave (c. 1994) but having just perused IMDB I see there is tons I need to check out. And of course there’s Jude, which I loved, but swear I will never watch again as long as I live.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Tom Baker FTW!

    • wait! what?

      Mad Eye Baker has a nice ring to it.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Who’s running against Who?
      Third base!

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Huckabee was bound to be right about something eventually. Comcast really does suck.

  • Chadwells

    OT: So by now we have all seen that 20 yo dreadlocked girl get punched at the Berkeley protest.

    While I do not condone violence towards women in any way, shape or form….that being said, let this be a cautionary tale. You don’t jump into a pool and expect not to get wet.

    You gotta be careful. You are expecting someone who believes in Hitler NOT to be low enough to hit a woman…and that’s just silly. These people are the scum of the earth and do not care about societal rules.

    After seeing her on the news this morning…she looks like she wasn’t injured at all. Not a bruise, scrape or cut anywhere. So that is great news. Still an unfortunate event.

    Anyway…just my 2 cents.

    • SnarkON

      Careful….you’re about 2 1/2 steps away from victim-blaming.

      Also, as a woman, the whole “never hit a woman” thing has always bugged me. It’s patronizing. How about “never hit ANYONE”?

      • Shanzgood

        You said that better than I was about to which is why I didn’t.

      • Chadwells

        I was very careful in the way I worded that to avoid just that.

        It’s funny…as I typed that “never hit a woman…” it felt super sexist and I wasn’t digging it. I thought about amending it…but I specified a woman because I’ll beat the shit out of a man, no problem.

        I’m not for violence…but I don’t run away from it.

    • Marceline

      There are a lot of people protesting now who are woefully unprepared for the possibility of violence. It’s one of the reasons I keep my ass at home.

      • Chadwells

        Exactly!! That’s all I was trying to say in my very bumbling way, as pointed out to me by Snark On!

  • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’
    • PubOption

      “Mercenaries for sale, all quantities from individuals to private army.”

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      His sister plans to destroy public education while he sells us out to the Russians. What a fucking family!

      • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

        Uneducated folks make great cannon fodder.

        • Red Bird Ω

          They’re also good at holding pitch forks.

          • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

            And beers

    • cmd resistor

      Some reporters should have been hanging out at the back door of Trump tower instead of the lobby.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Sort of makes one pine for the old days and proscription where the family was denounced and exiled, and the state took possession of all of their holdings.

      • Contemplative Ron

        A Sensible Policy for a Better America.

      • Nockular cavity

        Strike their name from all the monuments!

    • shivaskeeper

      Color me shocked that a mercenary motherfucker would go where the money was.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    He didn’t drain the swamp, he stocked it.

    • DesertedPictures

      He builld a better swamp: bigger than ever before!

      • MynameisBlarney

        Tremendous swamp!

        • Jennifer R

          Goldplated at the taxpayer expense!

    • Wild Cat

      It drank it, got dysentery, and it exploded shit all over a nation already full of shit.

    • snark-lurker

      he has turned a badly polluted swamp into a hazardous waste superfund sink

      • Contemplative Ron

        Compared to what it is now, the old swamp is starting to look like a high-mountain freshet draining off a 100,000 year old glacier.

  • Nounverb911

    If you ever get a chance, you should read the compilations of Ernie’s columns. They were the best.

    https://twitter.com/LiterateIndy/status/854295384256106496

    • shivaskeeper

      Yes they were.

  • Jgb979

    “There still hasn’t been anyone appointed to the State Department to oversee diplomatic security overseas”

    Gosh I VAGUELY remember this being a thing not even one year ago. Something that was the subject of 8 congressional hearings……

    Ben Jazzy?

    • Contemplative Ron

      Next time someone gets killed at a US embassy, they’ll just blame it on Hillary anyway.

    • Lizzietish81

      I’m sure the people who clamored for investigations into Benghazi will kick up a fuss about this.

      • TJ Barke

        Naw. Because, you know, IOKIYAR.

    • shivaskeeper

      Only if the President is black and the SoS is named Clinton. None of the other ones prior to that really mattered.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Don’t want to cut into those golf weekends.

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      Because keeping these posts vacant is all part of his brilliant plan to cut government spending.

      • Contemplative Ron

        Well, not so much ‘cutting’ as ‘diverting it into his own pockets.’

        • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

          Why split hairs?

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    So, dear ol’ ‘Vanks is using Daddy’s position for grifting too (you are not surprised). Can we throw her in the slammer too?
    http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/329225-china-approved-three-ivanka-trademarks-on-same-day-she-met-with

    Here’s my investment tip of the day:
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0ed104b0594005a665f27b592c3fd4a00ed8388e7c732ebf70a25d67f06fe6f2.jpg

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      The Trumps make $arah look like a selfless and dedicated civil servant.

    • SnarkON

      Bully stick libel!

  • Chadwells

    OT: I think you woke folk know most of this already…just in case

    “Guess Who Came to Dinner With Flynn and Putin”

    http://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/guess-who-came-dinner-flynn-putin-n742696?cid=public-rss_20170418

    • Lance Thrustwell

      The Woke Folk! No joke.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    That’s kind of rude of Governor Huckabee, when you consider how much the news division of Comcast’s NBCU property did to hand his party control of most of the country.

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    Everyone settle down. Everyone knows that stolen polling equipment is never involved in election fraud. There are “collectors” that will pay big money to obtain them.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Yeah, but once they’re out of their original packaging they lose a lot of value.

  • Proud Liberal

    I want those God damned taxes. He owes Russia a shit load of money and who else is he beholden to? Somebody, for the love of God, subpoena those TAXES!!!

  • rocktonsam

    “taxes are for the poor schmucks who voted for me . And other people”
    -djt probably

  • Chadwells

    OT: Dampnut…you stupid fuck…Mara Salvatrucha (MS-13) has been around since the fucking 80’s!!! STFU!!!!!

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    In an E.O. expected to be signed later today, Trump will direct all businesses to hire Americans, and instruct federal agencies to buy American,

    Maybe he should do that with his own businesses first?

    • Contemplative Ron

      It’s an EO. Nobody has to actually do what it says. Certainly not Himself.

    • DesertedPictures

      Seems like a very nice symbolic gesture: I’m sure that will work.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jiUu8od_I8

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Sadly, NRA no longer stands for No Rats Allowed.
        Thanks, Jimmy

        • DesertedPictures

          Was it rats? I thought it was Reds!

          • William

            National recovery act.

          • georgiaburning

            Do your part, they used to say

    • Lefty Frizzell

      There is zero chance that this will be adhered to by any big Trump donors, and zero chance they will be penalized for it.

      Fucking swamp.

      • TJ Barke

        Fucking toxic waste dump.

  • VirginiaLady

    I understand that the evilgelicals are cool with dolt 45’s P word grabbing and money grabbing and thieving and compulsive lying. Those things are the norm for them. What I don’t understand is why they aren’t having a flip out because he DID NOT GO TO AN EASTER SERVICE!
    It’s no excuse that he was too busy golfing or hunting those elusive eggs. Sunrise service to watch the resurrection re enactment is mandatory! He ain’t a born again believer! Burn de false one!!!

    • Zonath

      But he’s not black, or a Democrat, and so is not required to constantly prove to people that he isn’t a double-secret Muslim and probably a Hindu too.

    • Plus he had to be reminded to put his hand on his heart during the National Anthem – by an immigrant

    • cmd resistor

      I believe he did go to a service in Palm Beach, at some big church where he and Melania got married. Episcopal? I saw pictures of tents set up outside with metal detectors.

      • VirginiaLady

        No that was a job fair. It was where he bought Melon instead of hiring her. Strange that he paid for the cow when he could have rented. Unless he got a super loan deal from a close personal friend;)

  • Mavenmaven

    Once Trump blocks the H1B program, America will be finally free from science! Why should we have silicon valleys, we just need bombs and DEALS!

    • SnarkON

      THE EARTH IS FLAT THE SKY IS A HOLOGRAM

      • Lance Thrustwell

        THE UNIVERSE IS AN ILLUSION WE ARE HOLOGRAMS FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION CREATING A TEMPORARY SIMULACRUM OF SENTIENCE okay sorry never mind.

        • Ghenghis McCann

          Shush, nobody’s supposed to know that.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          When I get back to Alpha Centauri B, I am SO telling on you.

      • shivaskeeper

        I HAVE PHOTSHOPPED PICTURES TO PROVE IT. HOW ABOUT YOU?

    • Oblios_Cap

      I guess we’ll have to unleash the nuclear holocaust, since we won’t have the know-how to build more bombs without the scientists.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      As long as we don’t cut off the silicone valleys of Eastern Europe.

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      As I started to read this thread, my iPod started playing Genesis’ “Illegal Alien”. I call that serendipitous.

      “It’s no fun being an illegal alien!”

  • SnarkON

    “In an E.O. expected to be signed later today, Trump will direct all businesses to hire Americans, and instruct federal agencies to buy American…”

    Is it OK that I don’t completely loathe this idea?

    • Lefty Frizzell

      It’s OK in theory. I have extreme doubts as to whether any big Trump donors will be carefully vetted in this regard.

    • DesertedPictures

      Sure: it’s a nice symbolic action. But who knows, it might work. And what will be the result? The EU will direct companies and european organisations to buy European. The Canadians will do too. The Australians. Etc. Etc. And what will you have accomplished than?

      • SnarkON

        A lot less economic growth, but also a lot less trade overall, which would equal less environmental damage, more countries minding their own business, etc. For sure, though, I get that the world is significantly more complicated than I am making it sound with this simplistic explanation.

        • DesertedPictures

          Fair enough: and if Trump comes out with a plan to curtail enviromental damage by limiting transport use (even though it might hurt the economy), I will gladly here out his arguments.

          Somehow I doubt that’s the case here though!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      When you institute protectionist policies, you’re playing with fire and you’ve got to be careful. That’s what my econ profs taught me.

      • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

        Pointy headed nerds don’t know how Real ‘Merica works

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I’m sure there are yooooge exceptions for Mar-a-Lagofuckyourself in hiring staff, particularly the pee hookers.

      • SnarkON

        And Eastern European mail-order brides.

    • wait! what?

      E.O, E.O, screw you, America!
      – Donald Trump

    • Proud Liberal

      Me too. Everybody will be paying double for everything. I don’t think people understand trade and how it works.

    • Mavenmaven

      Except that we don’t make anything anymore.

      • Erala Contratista

        Never did make karaoke machines, I don’t think. Hmmmmm.

    • NastyBossetti

      As someone married to a non-American, I don’t love the idea of directing all businesses to hire American.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Why do you hate America, traitor?

        • NastyBossetti

          Why does America hate me?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Nuptial choices. Duh. And if Mr. B isn’t white, well….

          • NastyBossetti

            I interviewed plenty of American men, but if America wants its women to marry American, it needs to produce some better options. Kinder, better-educated, more self-sufficient options. That’s why I had to outsource to Canada.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Maybe punk clubs and mosh pits weren’t the best place to do your exploratory research. Then again, maybe they were.

          • NastyBossetti

            Ha! Couldn’t possibly be worse than any other kind of clubs, and at least a lot of them have a passing interest in what’s going on in the world.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Believe me…you could do a damn sight worse at a karaoke bar.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Should subcontract out sexxytimes to Americans anyway.

          • NastyBossetti

            No need. That is all handled in-house.

      • Juan de Fuca

        One of our best engineers at work is Chinese, so good luck with that, Trump. What a dipshit.

    • shivaskeeper

      He cannot direct anyone company not doing business with the Government to hire or buy anything or anyone. EO’s don’t have that sort of scope. I would have to see the EO. It has been a long standing policy that government contractors buy American. Especially military contractors.

      The only exceptions were if the contract couldn’t be met by an American supplier alone. In that case the normal course of action would be to buy up the American stock of whatever, and then seek non American supplies to fill the gap while the American stocks were rebuilt or supply was ramped up.

      ETA: Even when a company was large enough to have multiple dealings going on, the buy American bit only applied to the division that held the government contract. Think of a company as large as Boeing. Any part of Boeing that doesn’t hold a government contract would be exempt from this sort of thing.

      • It’s all flim-flam, part of the con

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        Yeah, like all that steel going into the KXL and DAPL!

        • shivaskeeper

          Neither of those is a government project though. Yes the Army Corps of Engineers is involved with the surveys and site approvals and whatnot, and portions of each go over public lands, but they are private enterprises. This EO,assuming it’s even remotely written by a competent person, and the normal government procurement rules don’t apply at all.

          Like I said no EO can direct a private enterprise to hire/buy American. Only the parts that deal with a government contract.

  • Proud Liberal
    • TJ Barke

      Well yeah, he’s in real estate in New York…

      • Real estate New Jersey and Casino’s Atlantic City all well know to be mob connected totally ethical businesses

        • Indivisible Snark Tank

          What are the chances he’s got money tied up in Waste Management also too? Of course, we’ll never know unless he’s pressured to release his tax returns….

      • Proud Liberal

        So, he is still the president of the United States. I kind of prefer at least one who isn’t tied to the Russian mob.

        • TJ Barke

          Me too.

          • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

            Maybe his new EO will get him to hire American gangsters

        • MynameisBlarney

          Yeah, I’d like one not connected to the Rooshan mob and not an illiterate fuckstick, also, too.

      • I said this since his stupid campaign started: he’s in real estate. In NY. He is going to be up to his eyeballs in trouble.

        Course, i didn’t count on hillary sending an email once.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    Over at LGM, they have a link to a very interesting article in the Boston Globe about Ivanka and China. Conflicts of interest? Perish the thought!

    http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2017/04/not-even-fee-gaming-license

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Recep Tayyip Erdogan received a congratulatory call from Trump for solidifying his rule as a dictator who imprisons journalists, silences the opposition, and rigs elections. You know he’s just jealous.

    Trump tried to call Adolf Hitler to congratulate him on annexing the Sudetenland, but Sean Spicer grabbed the phone before he could call directory assistance.

  • btwbfdimho

    Buy American, hire American…
    What about marry American?
    (asking for a gringacard-holder)

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I thought he was against Lesbian-, Gay- and Bi-Americans.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Marry American! Makes me realize that “fuck American” can be a phrase with a benevolent meaning.

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      Immigrants take the jobs American workers don’t want.

      • DesertedPictures

        True: although (devils advocate) without wages might be hirer to make jobs more appealing in the absence of labour. (Of course the jobs can also move to other countries).

        • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

          Do you really think there are many American women (or men) willing to marry him next time around?

          • DesertedPictures

            Oh wait…

            now I get it.

          • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

            It’s early.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Melania Libelz! Then again, maybe not.

  • Red Bird Ω

    Goats are nice and everything but, Dominic, you promised us baby sloths.
    Also, I hope everyone understands that the GOP is grooming Niki Haley for the first woman president. Meh and *sigh*.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Buy American! Good idea, send money to Wonkette……

  • Me not sure

    It’s electing day in Georgia’s 6th. VOTE your Ossof if you can!
    Also a large chunk of I 20 in Atlanta, suddenly and without warning, just buckled yesterday closing the road and a chemical spill from an overturned semi closed the
    I 75 / I 85 connector. Two weeks ago another section of I 85 collapsed and will be closed indefinitely. Just getting to the polls could be an ordeal. Infrastructure much? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4754ecadae937e978a90268b488705bf769eddbbecfd372239c41678929ca5db.jpg

    • Proud Liberal

      Come on Georgia! Do us proud!

      • SnarkON

        …for once.

      • Me not sure

        We’re gunning for returning to red dirt pig trails, the way God meant it to be.

      • cmd resistor

        It would be so nice. I lived in Ga (not THAT district) when it was Newt’s, so this would be an amazing thing.

    • SnarkON

      “Vote your Ossof” for the win, y’all.

    • Doug Langley

      That’s the most blatant case of voter suppression I’ve ever seen.

      • NastyBossetti

        Maybe that’s where the stolen voting machines are buried!

      • Me not sure

        A motorcyclist hit it like a ramp and flew 40 feet through the air. A car went airborne as well. Where’s a common Evel Knevel when you need one? This was repaired overnight.

      • Me not sure

        If there is an explosion on the MARTA line today we’ll know the fix is in.
        Also too, Atlanta will grind to an ugly halt

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Damnit. Now God’s angry at the homosexxicans in Georgia!

      • Me not sure

        Gay? Ya’ll cain’t git thar frum here.

    • cheetojeebus

      C.H.U.D., we are so fucked.

      • Me not sure

        C.H.U.D.! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN! First the Walking Dead, now this.

  • William
    • Juan de Fuca

      100 mile an hour tape libelz?

  • btwbfdimho

    Hire American…
    There is nothing more anti-free-trade anti-capitalism than that idiotic line.
    Expect Silicon Valley to move to Bangalore, India.

    • Proud Liberal

      Bingo!

  • Chadwells

    Deregulation of industry poisoning the earth and people….but go BUY American to slowly kills us? Idiotic.

  • Doug Langley

    UPDATE: yesterday got a Dear John letter from a place I’d applied to a month ago, and the job sounded so close to my skill set. They won’t even interview me.

    Ran across an ad for a local job that’s PERFECT for me. Slammed in an application fast and dropped a LindedIn note to the hiring manager. But, I’ve been disappointed so many times it’s hard to get hopes up.

    • NastyBossetti

      Good luck!

    • I shall cross a variety of body parts for you!

      • Doug Langley

        You must be a master at Twister.

    • SnarkON

      I’m actually a little jealous that they bothered to send you a rejection. In my field, they never respond.

      • Doug Langley

        Did surprise me a bit. Most places never breathe a word and I never know if they even saw it.

        • SnarkON

          They’re the best, kindest company you never worked for.

          • Doug Langley

            Would you believe JP Morgan Chase? They’re the biggest company in town. Have applied to several jobs with them over the past year, one interview, no dice.

    • Doug Langley

      UPDATE UPDATE: Just got a phone call from a recruiter who has an opening locally that matches my skill set. Suddenly we got cut off. I phoned back, but no connection. Now I’m in phone limbo.

    • lroom

      Good luck!

  • DesertedPictures

    Trump should have asked people to ‘buy Chinese’. At least than he could claim people actually listen to him.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      I thought he preferred Taco bowls to Chinese food.

      • DesertedPictures

        Only when the taco food is sold at Trump Tower.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    OK. A rhetorical comment. I read the “news” each morning and wonder why the abuses of the Trump gang do not cause an uproar. A phony, lying, immoral fuckwad. (OK guys carry on, just venting like a oil derrick in the tar sands)

    • Chadwells

      Co-sign.

    • SnarkON

      They do cause an uproar.

      • Proud Liberal

        Apparently, not to any Republican in Congress who could do something about it.

    • Proud Liberal

      It’s disconcerting that he is getting away with these crimes right in front of our faces and it appears nobody is doing anything about it!

      • shivaskeeper

        There are people working on it in the background. All those investigations and whatnot are something being done.

        • Erala Contratista

          Yup, I was getting exercised abut the lack of action. Then I remembered the ancient rule of rope length…You need plenty of it to get the job done in an unambiguous fashion.

          • shivaskeeper

            There is that. Also the practical reason is what does anyone expect to happen? Military coup? Storm the WH and drag him and his collaborators out to the nearest tree? Other illegal actions?

            For the system to work, the GOPers need to be voted out starting with the current special election, then in 2018 and 2020. Of course part of it is to never let this shit become the new normal and do everything in our power to ensure this is a one time glitch in the system.

      • Terpsichord

        Patience, grasshopper…..

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      This is something that has been bugging the fuck out of me. My fear is that he is slowly but surely becoming normalized by the media…the vastness of the shitshow he’s running just overwhelms their small minds and budgets. So instead, it’s “he bombed Syria, hooray!” Odd that their thirst for “investigating” every single aspect of Hillary’s professional and private life never seemed to slack off.

    • I was at a town hall last night (IL 5 – libtard). Both durbin and quigley had thoughtful things to say (specifically about Russia and the process). I came away somewhat heartened.

      Course, it was schakowsky who had the best disses. That lady is simply delightful.

  • Proud Liberal

    I find the special election in Great Britain interesting. Will they stop the Brexit?

    • Chadwells

      Nah…May is trying to gain more of a Tory majority, if I understand the situation from what I’ve read.

      • DesertedPictures

        And she is probably going to succeed. It’s very smart and she won’t have to defend the actual Brexit result in 2020.

        • Chadwells

          And the Labour Party is in total disarray and she is jumping all over it. Very cunning of her.

          • DesertedPictures

            Only the Lib-Dems might be able to fight her; they are organised but they are too small a party to make a dent. (to spread out) Still: if they can get a ‘Macron’ effect and get the ‘challenger status’… Elections are funny things. Everything is possible.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Which she thinks will make Brexit negotiations easier. But if (when) they wind up with a shitty deal, it leaves no one else to blame but her and the Tories.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      If Labour, Libs, or SNP make large enough gains they can slow it way down. And the process, as of now, is going to take 2 years.

      • ariel_gee_398

        The 2 year timetable is set by the EU treaty, not the British government. Changing the government wouldn’t change that.

        • Antonin Dvorak

          Ah, I didn’t know that. Thanks.

        • DesertedPictures

          But if she lost her majority (not going to happen) it might become a ‘soft Brexit’.

          • ariel_gee_398

            For the life of me I cannot figure out her negotiating tactics. She has zero leverage with the EU, however large the Tory majority is. And all her tough talk about turning the UK into a tax shelter just united Europe against her.

          • DesertedPictures

            That: and the constant streams of insults from current EMP’s, newspapers etc… “You call us bureacratic dictatorial Britain haters? We will show you!”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I understand that they’re ratifying a new constitution that will solidify May in power as a totalitarian. Or maybe I’m mashing things together now.

      • Chadwells

        That’s how I read it too. The Labour Party is in disarray and she is seizing on the opportunity for a power grab.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          The fight is on in Labour between the Blairite dumbshits and actual Labour voters.

          • I don’t give a fuck, Brits vote anyone but Conservative

        • Nope she knows that by 2020 the effects of “Hard” Brexit will be catastrophic and will destroy the Conservatives either from the Right or the Left.

          In fact the effects will be felt from about 2018

          • Chadwells

            Ahh. Thank you! I have a very rudimentary understanding of U.K. Politics. I’m trying to learn tho!

          • DesertedPictures

            It’s smart: In 2019/2020 the results of Brexit will be clear. Any negative economic effects will materialise by than (either slower growth, or even a short recession). By 2022 a possible recession will have passed and the economy will be growing: not by as much as it could have, but by enough to keep the conservatives competitive in the election.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        There are people who have been saying that as the Tories won the last election under Cameron, she’s not really Prime Minister as she wasn’t leader of the party then. She’s wanting to establish her legitimacy as PM. Joe Stalin would have managed it much more quickly, and cheaper.

      • We don’t have a Constitution

        • Msgr_MΩment

          We could send you ours. It’s only being used as toilet paper presently.

          • Ghenghis McCann

            And in the spirit of the Special Relationship between Britain and America, we can send you some of the more useless members of the Royal Family. No need to thank us, it’s a pleasure.

    • DesertedPictures

      No…

      The Conservatives are going to win this one bigly. The left is in shambles (and still pro Brexit). The only parties that are against Brexit are SNP and the Liberal Democrats. The LibDems might gain some seats but they won’t win the vote.

      This vote won’t change a thing. That’s why May didn’t wait until 2020.

      • Sorry, Downvoted

        We need to fucking vote if you can. If we get lucky we’ll slow Brexit down as well and end up with a “soft” as opposed to a “hard” exit

        • DesertedPictures

          Don’t take it the wrong way: I hope for high turnout and a nation swept up by Anti-Brexit parties. Fight for it, believe in it; get people to vote! But based on the current polls (good for May), current party positions (bad for Brexit except for Lib-Dems and SNP) and the divided opposition (Labour is in shambles and no other party seems eager to be able to take their place).

          The only way Brexit could be overturned is if the left and centre pro-Brexit forces work together. Look at all the districts that are competitive and agree not to run against eachother there. (The Greens and the Lib Dems are planning something like that: but Labour will never agree on something like this).

  • Msgr_MΩment

    What Taxes? Trump Has No Taxes! Wonkagenda For Tues., April 18, 2017

    NO TAXES! NO TAXES! YOU’RE THE TAXES!!

  • The Librarian

    Wow, Mr. Huckabee, with all that’s going on in the world, this is the most important you have to tweet? We’d like Obama back, too, based on rational thinking, not lousy cable service. Priorities, man!

    • shivaskeeper

      Nah. It’s typical Religious Right comedy. Years and years behind the rest of the country when they tell a topical joke. This is Religious Right humor in it’s most pure form

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        “If I could just get that darned 8-track tape player working right, I would have more time to look for Obama’s birth certificate!”

    • TJ Barke

      He should be asking why his fellow republicans voted to allow them to fuck us every which way.

      • The Librarian

        Needs moar brain cells and empathy.

  • Juan de Fuca

    I’d personally rather have Comcast if it means I don’t have to listen to Mike Huckabee.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      We’re voting you off the planet, Mike. Good luck breathing on the Moon!

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Voting machines stolen ahead of Georgia special election: report

    http://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/329213-voting-machines-stolen-pre-georgia-special-election-report

    h/t to Our Jennifer R.

    I’m guessing voting is not going to matter much in the “Free World” anymore.

    • DesertedPictures

      I take offense to that.

      The electoral integrity of the voting booth will be just as high as in Turkey!

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Turkeys voting for Thanksgiving?

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    In an E.O. expected to be signed later today, Trump will direct all businesses to hire Americans, and instruct federal agencies to buy American

    Meantime, according to the Boston Globe article linked to below, Ivanka Trump’s brand increased imports, mostly from China, by 166% last year.

    • diogenez

      Will Trump sign that using the IRONY font?

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Careless with our munitions? Us?
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/854343261783281664

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They’re just Mooslimbs. Fake religion, fake people, no problem!

      • weejee

        Fake prezidunt too, also.

    • Oblios_Cap

      As Elvis Costello sings, Accidents will Happen! Whoopsie!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      /recycled from earlier
      Second coming ends prematurely as Jesus killed in American airstrike
      Read more at http://chaser.com.au/world/second-coming-ends-prematurely-as-jesus-killed-in-american-airstrike/#yRJbV7hfJjdFzMiI.99

      • Ghenghis McCann

        This song was written in New York City
        Of rich man, preacher, and slave
        If Jesus was to preach what He preached in Galilee,
        They would lay poor Jesus in His grave.

        Woody Guthrie

    • Blackest Noobs

      is it a win-win or a lose-lose.

      win-win…we killed more future suicidal towel-heads.

      lose-lose- we just created more future suicidal towel-heads.
      (i’m thinking it’s a fucking lose-lose….seriously we GOTS to DO better but that is not happening anytime soon with this jackass in charge)

    • Notreelyhelping

      Hearts and minds, baby. Hearts and minds.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    RE: that video.
    Good to see that April’s kid is already rambunctiously jumping around.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Jim Bakker obviously didn’t bake long enough in prison for his crimes.

    • tomamitai

      I thought he died years ago.

      • Thaumaturgist

        Baker. The undead gopper.

  • Blackest Noobs

    it doesn’t surprise me Trump didn’t keep a promise to release his tax returns.
    just like how he didn’t keep the promises he made to the rubes that voted for him.

    and of course those rubes will make excuses or stretch the truth about Trumpie keeping his promises but when they do complain and whine about why certain shit isn’t happening or the fact their sons and daughters are sent off to another unwinnable war, i will be there, ready, to slap the fucking shit outha them.

    • Wild Cat

      Let the twerks get their war on. If you volunteer to kill on such a flimsy whim and lie, who cares. Seriously. We’ve had six decades of nonstop Orwellian wars now. Gotta learn sometime.

      Plus how can we play ballgames without fat, farty, limping soldiers getting their balls slathered by the pathetic chicken hawks in the stands?

      • Blackest Noobs

        i am not too sure the twerks are all that enthusiastic about another war, which seems very likely, and possibly two at the same time (one in middle east as proxy or real one with Russia and one in north korea)…for lots of them, gulf war II really turned a lot of them off getting their WAR ON.

        they still exist….WAR ON’ers, but their numbers are reducing.

        • Wild Cat

          We’re a nation of imbeciles that lusts for guns, wars, violent sports, homelessness, Calvinism, torture, sexual sadism, humiliation, serial-killer movies, ultraviolence, video-game rape, starvation, poverty, cruelty, animal torture, and Adam Sandler.

          Other than that, we cool, yo.

          • Blackest Noobs

            i dunno even the appeal of Sandler has its limits.

          • tomamitai

            Did your comma key stick, or has the censorship begun? (@.@) Also too, WTF are Calvinis? Is that some delicious new take-out food that I don’t need to shovel into my mouth-hole, but will?

          • Wild Cat

            Your Disqus may be having trouble.

          • Jim Johnson

            Nice summary of the American Dream.

      • georgiaburning

        Speaking as someone from a military family, your description is uncomfortably accurate. War is to be a desperate last resort, not an intentional political distraction.

        • Wild Cat

          I’m the son of a soldier. I saw what it does. Whomever speaks of war lightly should be shot. Whomever worships war without ever serving should be enlisted on the spot.

    • Ricky Gay

      You can’t. It’s shit all the way down.

      • Internet Hitler

        That’s not fair. I’m sure that there’s some sort of thin shit-containing cellulose membrane to give it form. Something like that spinach heart.

        • Ricky Gay

          well, if you want to get all technical and stuff

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    Huckerbee: I’d rather have Obama as president than have Comcast service.

    Poor ‘ol Gov. Hucksterbee – it must be terribly frustrating when your man/pig bestiality porn downloads so slowly…

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Those downloads are fine, its his man/pig bestiality porn uploads that take too long!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Trump’s poll numbers are in the shitter, including the traditionally conservative ones. HAAAAAAAAAA.

    You still can’t spell “Rasmussen Poll” without Russ[ia]n and a little bit of pole up your ass.

  • weejee

    At the Ms game last night saw a chap with an Ms jersey, the number 45, and the name on the back was Impeach.

    • Marsupial99

      I tried to do that with an American League jersey from the 2002 or 2003 (?) All Star game (“Impeach 43”) but they blocked my order. It would have looked really cool.

  • Ricky Gay

    Dammit I was just getting over my goat obsession

    • weejee
      • DesertedPictures

        You know what the problem is with this picture? If a conservative had thought of this he would have just said: ‘Fact: Trump has unnatural sexual relations with goats’ and left it at that.’ He would have spread it out everywhere and complained about a media cover-up.

        Here we get a sideline ‘we’re not really serious’ with the picture. It makes it well thought out, on the spot commentary. It’s also the reason it will fail.

        You will have to believe your own lies, if you want to sink to Trump’s level.

      • Ricky Gay

        Spread it? That’s what he said!

  • Notreelyhelping

    Dept. of Accidental Convergence: “Goats in Pajamas” goes well with U2’s “Vertigo”–it’s like ballet on acid.

    Also, I think I’m off goat meat for awhile.

  • Anna Rompage

    “Conservatives Never Marched Against Obama” Jim Bakkker

    Oh Jim, they tried… They tried Jim….

    Don’t you remember the tragic story about the convoy of people on their HoverRounds, that were making their way from West Virginia to our glorious capital to protest our foreign born mooslum in cheif?

    Sadly, one by one, their mobile scooters ran out of charge and left I-81 strewn with diabetics on their dead Hover Rounds without a Big Gulp filling station to be found anywhere. Why it took the WV national guard several days to track down all these lost, wandering souls, and get them ad their mobile scooters back home again.

  • calliecallie

    That article about the Republican Whiz kid scammer:

    “So essentially their [his company’s] competitive advantage was the conflict of interest itself….”
    That’s a Republican business model, right there.

  • William
  • jesterpunk
  • Jennifer R

    Finally an update on the game I backed on kickstarter! Should get to the distro hubs this week, (which is in Indiana) and that is a 3-4 day delivery according to all the major carriers. So I think I should have it by the end of next week.

  • cmd resistor
    • Blackest Noobs

      Being Black and Not Spoiled makes a difference.

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        Being human beings makes a big difference. Trump and his ilk think they are something special and superior to the rest of us.

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      The poor Secret Service guy. He’s not even allowed to smile while kids have fun around him.

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    How much is Comcast charging for Huckabee’s browsing history?

    • Anna Rompage

      There’s a bidding war going on between the people who want to release it, and those who want to keep it secret…

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Why does trump think there is some nefarious money man behind every demonstration?

    • Marceline

      It’s funny because one one hand the righties think we’re all just a bunch of snowflakes who are complaining in the streets then they will turn around and claim that all protesters are paid. Which if they are then according to Citizens United, that’s just fine because money is speech.

      • SnarkON

        They also routinely accuse us of all being on welfare and insist that we get jobs. You’d think they’d be pleased that we’re now all working for a living as paid protesters.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        How much could it cost to walk around yelling “trump sucks”?

        • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

          Some pay for the privilege.

    • Internet Hitler

      Delegitimizes opposition. Saaad.

    • Yr. Gma

      He pays for his fans at rallies, so it just follows.

  • chortlingdingo

    OT, I’ve got a young pet rat whose been having some consistent weight loss issues over the last few months. I found an exotic pet specialist in my city, and it turns out that she’s diabetic! That’s what I had suspected, given her symptoms, but it’s nice to have a confirmation. Did you know that rats could be diabetic? Apparently it’s super uncommon (not counting those poor lab animals that have it induced for medical testing).

    The positive is that her glucose, while out of range, is low enough that we’re trying dietary management instead of insulin therapy. Apparently, insulin can be very tricky with a rat, and if you don’t get it just right, or use the right type, it can kill them. So, wish me luck with the dietary route! Here’s hoping she finally starts putting some weight on!

    • Persistent Demme

      I think rats are fascinating, and they’re SO smart!
      Someone in our humane society used to give fruit loops to hers, and it would sort them by color.
      Is spaying and neutering rats important for their health like it is for rabbits, dogs, and cats?
      Best of luck to you!

      • chortlingdingo

        Generally, you’d only neuter male rats if you’ve got aggression issues, but spaying female rats helps prevent mammary tumors later in their lives. I’ll probably get both my girls done as soon as little miss diabetic is at a better weight.

        Rats are very lovely pets! You can teach them all kinds of tricks. They’re very food-motivated :)

        • Yr. Gma

          The SIL male rat killed another male, so they have him neutered. I have learned so much about them now. I used to think they were evil. (And they come in so many colors. Who knew?)

    • wait! what?

      Best of luck. Rats can be very affectionate.

    • Yr. Gma

      My SIL has rats. Those little critters just love him. He has two of the Dumbo rats with their Mickey ears. So cute.

      • chortlingdingo

        Oh the dumbo ears are so sweet! I also have a soft spot for the hairless ones.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    It’s a new day. I’m changing my nym, God damn it.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Who knew it was so easy?

  • hendenburg2

    “Taxes, to god-damned hell with Taxes! I have no taxes. In fact, I don’t need taxes. I don’t have to show you any stinking taxes, you god-damned cabrón and chinga tu madre!”

    • Internet Hitler

      Go bankrupt building a gigantic eyesore of a casino. Claim huuuuge losses.

  • Blackest Noobs

    listen gang i know how you can get a huge tax refund.

    1) reproduce and have lottsa offspring
    2) get yourself heavily in debt by going to graduate school
    3) get in more debt by buying a house

    I did number 2 and number 3 and i got a whopper of a refund…though it’s got nothing over my huge debt now…but fun fun because tree over the forest, which is the AMERICA WAY!!!!

    • Hospergar

      I think 3 is the real key- we only did 2 and the cap on student loan interest deductions is pitifully low.

      • Blackest Noobs

        hmmmm i got like shit-ton of refund for school, so dunno, maybe you didn’t get get your taxes won as stated by Jonny Hamm

  • Persistent Demme

    I love how baby goats in PJs is an internet thing!
    So cute!

    • Internet Hitler

      Well they can’t wear their sweaters to bed!

    • Yr. Gma

      So who spends time making goat costumes? I thank him/her.

  • Greyhame

    I’ll be surprised if the Georgia 6th election actually goes off without some kind of massive, election-tampering fuckery, courtesy of the G.O.P.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Gee, it’s almost as though Huckabee thinks the free market isn’t infallible.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Attention Politico: Having a news video and an video ad autoplay at the same time is not a smooth move.

  • Bill Slider

    The 38th parallel that you mention that divides North Korea from South Korea, also divides Nebraska from Kansas. I remember that from my youth and it helps give one a better understanding of just where this invisible parallel lies.

  • Neon-colored lobster-patterned pajamas on a goat is the most random thing ever.

    Also, adorable.

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      I’m curious what they used the rest of that roll of material for.

  • Jonny On Maui

    Baby goats. Gee, thanks! It’s not like I hear about pigmy baby goats ever…

  • William
  • Khavrinen

    Jebus, North Korea again? It seems like we’ve been dealing with those nut-cases since 1970.
    ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066026/?ref_=nv_sr_2 )

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      Try 1950. If it wasn’t for M.A.S.H. nobody would remember.

  • Mormos

    No, seriously, he has no taxes. He doesn’t pay them, so how can he release them?

  • Jacquelynrharrison

    Managing director of Google!, is explaining to users to start off “Work at home” method, that People have been doing for about one year now. These days alone, I generated close to $36,000 until now with no more than my home computer as well as some spare time, despite that i have a fulltime 9 to 5 job. Even everyone not used to this, can make $89/per h easily and the earnings can go even higher over time… This is how i started
    !sy264c:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs554MarketNovaGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!sy264c:….,…….

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