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Looks like he has solid nerd support

Democrats missed a chance last week to take a House seat in a special election, but this week, things are looking hopeful for the second of four special elections to replace Republicans who left to join the Trump cabinet. In Georgia’s sixth district, Democrat Jon Ossoff is currently leading a pack of 18 candidates in an open primary, where if no one wins 50 percent plus one vote tomorrow, the top two candidates regardless of party will have a run-off in June. In the most recent poll, released Friday, Ossoff is at 45%, scary close to an outright win, which would be awfully efficient, wouldn’t it? Ossoff’s closest competitor, Republican Karen Handel (remember her? she broke that breast cancer foundation), gets 17 percent. If the two go to a runoff, it’s likely that gap will narrow a lot with no other candidates to split the vote. Seriously, Georgia Democrats, get out there, win this one tomorrow, and make Donald Trump very angry. Trump is already under the impression that Ossoff isn’t running as a Democrat — Trump wants people to think Ossoff is the Dishonest Media’s candidate:

Sure, maybe he is, to an extent, thanks in part to people like Rachel Maddow pointing out that while the former representative for the sixth district, Tom Price, handily won reelection, Donald Trump only won there by two percentage points, possibly making the suburban Atlanta district ripe for the metaphorical plucking. All the attention has given Ossoff a huge fundraising lead and an $8 million campaign fund, and it certainly hasn’t helped the various Republicans in the race that a Republican superPAC, the Congressional Leadership Fund, blew a million dollars to run a cheaply made ad mocking Ossoff for having — gasp! — appeared in a Star Wars parody video when he was in college. The ad mostly garnered ridicule for the people running it, and Ossoff now happily embraces the nerd side, appearing in campaign photos with little kids in Star Wars masks and having toy lightsaber duels with 8-year-olds at campaign events, which makes for a nice lede in this New Yorker profile.

Unlike the election in Kansas, national Democrats are actually spending money in Georgia to support Ossoff, who’s also getting support from some big national names, like a DCCC ad running in Atlanta featuring Morehouse college alum Samuel Jackson saying “We have to channel the great vengeance and furious anger we have for this Administration into votes at the ballot box,” because that was one of the few radio-friendly lines from Pulp Fiction. (Sorry, no “I have HAD it with these motherfucking Republicans on this Motherfucking ballot!”) The New Yorker piece frets, just a little, that all the celebrity attention could backfire if it makes voters perceive Ossoff as a carpetbagger, but he’s been focusing primarily on local issues — and local Dems’ anger at Trump — so that seems unlikely? We’d like to think there’s no such thing as anti-Samuel Jackson backlash anywhere.

The leading Republican, Karen Handel, may sound familiar to Wonkers: She’s the former head of the Susan G. Komen Foundation, who tried to get the breast-cancer charity to disassociate itself from Planned Parenthood, and instead resigned under pressure from the Komen Foundation and has since been trying to build a political career as a professional victim of Planned Parenthood. Handel even wrote a book about the struggles of losing her job as a highly paid foundation president and becoming a highly paid rightwing celebrity, titled Planned Bullyhood, GET IT? Needless to say, her narrative of victimhood at the hands of the Abortionplex may make her an appealing Republican candidate, or at least a contender for a regular gig on Fox News (depending on how nice her legs are).

Are Republicans worried? Maybe a little — they’re doing their best to suggest that despite his lead in the polls, Ossoff is actually in big trouble, since with eight million bucks, he should somehow be doing better than 45 percent in an 18-way race, at least according to GOP strategist Brian Robinson:

“The bad news for him is that he had $8 million,” Robinson said. “No one in this race has come anywhere near the resources that he has, and he only has 45 percent. That’s bad news for any Democrat going into a runoff in a Republican-friendly, long-term Republican-held district.”

Hmmm… if that’s supposed to be a Jedi Mind Trick, it doesn’t seem especially convincing. Still, it would be awfully nice if enough Dems in the 6th district could show up to give Ossoff an outright win. As Luke Skywalker always said, “Make it so.”

And while you’re at it, you can help out too, by sending the proton torpedoes of democracy Ossoff needs to take on the Republicans — yes, we mean money — to his ActBlue fundraising page. He’s the candidate you’re looking for, something something Destiny.

Yr Wonkette can make the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs, but only with generous donations from our readers. Please click the “Donate” linky below. You’re our only hope.

[New Yorker / Jon Ossof ActBlue donation page / WSB-TV]

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  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Paulinerwilliams

      Managing director of Google!, is explaining to users to start off “Work at home” method, that People have been doing for about one year now. These days alone, I generated close to $36,000 until now with no more than my home computer as well as some spare time, despite that i have a fulltime 9 to 5 job. Even everyone not used to this, can make $89/per h easily and the earnings can go even higher over time… This is how i started
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  • Villago Delenda Est

    I’m glad he’s giving the Rethuglican scum an “up yours” with those Star Wars kids.

  • memzilla Ω
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Baby stoats for Ossoff!

  • elviouslyqueer

    Even Hitler wouldn’t vote for Jon Ossoff.

    — New Republican attack ad, probably

  • dslindc
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Or a fuckup like Donald get, you will.

  • LarryHoudini

    Polls . . . close election . . . predictions . . .
    Sorry, I’ll be laying in the guest room with the shades pulled for awhile. If some one could bring me a warm ginger ale in a bit, that’d be just great.

  • FDRliberal

    VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! Georgians!!!

    The biggest “fuck you” we could deliver to the illegitimate scumbag currently fouling the White House would be an Ossoff victory in Georgia. Let’s add to Trump’s already long list of failures and get a rational person into the House.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      In vile insider-training asshole Tom Price’s old district, to boot!

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    Remember the promise of tacos? Keep the dream alive!

    • MynameisBlarney

      They tried to make that sound like a bad thing.

      Like, who in the fuck doesn’t like tacos?

      • redarmyzombie

        Sad, pathetic tools, that’s who!

        …And by tools, I mean dildos.

        • Skeptical_thinker

          Dildos are the finest kind of tools for people with tiny hands.

    • Vincent Ricola

      The dream will never die in my heart! VIVA DOS TACOS!

  • schmannity

    Time for Handel to face the Wassermusik.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    And Georgia’s always on my my my my my my my my myyyy mind….

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Take me to those snowbig mountains way down south
      Take me to your daddy’s farm
      Let me hear your balalaikas ringing out
      Come and keep your comrade warm

  • aureolaborealis

    I love that when someone defends themselves against the wingnut hate war, the wingnuts feel bullied. And we’re the snowflakes.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      they sure are a bunch of crybabbies

      • Villago Delenda Est

        And Donald is the crybaby-in-chief.

  • Crystalclear12

    Georgia Democrats, you that thing you always forget to do. Well, it’s tomorrow!
    Vote!!

    • Suttree

      I know one person in Georgia, but she’s a fucking republican. I have been trying to turn her into a Dem for 9 years.

      • Crystalclear12

        In that case, don’t bother the poor dear tomorrow. Let her rest.

        • Suttree

          But I’m angry! She got food stamps and bitches about black people. I dated her for 6 years.

          • Crystalclear12

            There, there. The important thing to remember is sleeping people don’t vote.

  • Suttree

    Have I told you lately how much I hate Sean Spicer and his pressers?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Nope.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Oh, they’re great exercises in a very bad, uncomfortable liar doing very bad lying. He’s no Ron Ziegler, that’s for sure.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        he’s not even a decent Ari Fleischer

        • MynameisBlarney

          Ari Fleischer isn’t even a decent Ari Fleischer.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            He’s no Marlin Fitzwater

          • MynameisBlarney

            And he’s no Ron Ziegler.

      • Notreelyhelping

        Ziegler had a gift for humiliating reporters for asking questions; Spicer has a gift for humiliating himself by answering questions.

    • Suttree

      Haha! Whitehouse visitor logs!!!!!!!

    • msanthrope

      You should go to physical therapy.

  • WiscoJoe

    Please vote, if only to spare the rest of us a week of stories about how the DCCC didn’t do enough to support Ossoff while also forcing everyone else to not to do anything to support Ossoff independently and how the DCCC needs to take more of a leadership role in saving us but also how the DCCC isn’t the boss of me and can’t tell me what to do.

    • Vincent Ricola

      For the love of goddess, thiiiiiisssssssssss.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Has Bernie campaigned for Ossoff? If not, he can STFU about the outcome, either way.

      • WiscoJoe

        Bernie who?

      • RobKanC

        Why would an independent campaign for a democrat.

      • Marceline

        Bernie doesn’t know the meaning of STFU. He’s out here complaining that the Dems didn’t throw enough money at Kansas. Bernie lives to talk shit from the backseat.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    look for the ballot that says bad motherfucker and vote for him…

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      …and Hold onto your butts!

  • Claire

    Jesus, Karen Handel. There’s a blast from the past.

    I hope someone’s running attack ads reminding everyone of that fiasco. As I recall, the screams of internet rage were pretty bipartisan.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      bear in mind, that source is Louise Mensch

      • MynameisBlarney

        Aaaah…shit

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          doesn’t mean it’s not true, but with her…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      This could be even better than the pee hooker tape. Less chance of vomiting, at least.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Get a rope. Several score ropes.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        “Let them all hang together.
        Or else let them all hang separately.” — Benny Franklin

        “If this be treason,
        I look forward to seeing you in hell.” — Patrick Henry

    • redarmyzombie

      *cracks knuckles*

    • Claire

      I’ve been reading about this. I can’t quite get a handle on whether the claim is that Page secretly taped Trump promising quid pro hacking quo, or whether the claim is that Trump actually said down and said, into a recording device, something to the effect of “This is Donald Trump and if you hack the election in my favor I’ll lift the sanctions.”

      I mean, and this is a serious question, could even Donald Trump possibly be that stupid?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The latter, I think, and yes, Donald is that fucking stupid.

        • Lefty Frizzell

          Presumably just in case his phones were tapped.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            There you go, typical GOP dipshit with no critical thinking skills.

          • Yellow_Dog_Dem

            There you go, typical GOP dipshit with no thinking skills. FIFY.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            NOT TRUE! Donald can think about grabbing pussy all day!

        • Claire

          That’s what I thought and I’m having a great deal of difficulty wrapping my head around it.

        • NastyBossetti

          I have a hard time believing anyone is that stupid, even Donald Trump.

      • Lefty Frizzell

        That’s what I was thinking – could one be stupid enough to not only make that tape – but then give it to Carter Page, known weaselly fuckwit? And then ask him to carry it round the world and give it to Vladimir Putin, known murderous blackmailer?

        • Claire

          I mean… I mean, Jesus Christ. HOW.

        • artem1s

          Twittler did make a point of telling the world he preferred using couriers over email. yes, I think he’s that stoopid

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “It’s called the Art of the Deal, not the Smart of the Deal.”
        — Donald Trump

        • Bobathonic

          Given what he’s doing to the USA, it should’ve been “The Shart of the Deal”.

      • MynameisBlarney

        That brings up a moar bigger question.

        How many takes did they need before it was right?

    • Proud Liberal

      I’m of a mind to believe her. She was a British MP and knows British intelligence officers very well.

    • Alt-dog

      A tape? What is this, 1980?

      • Claire

        In fairness, if you get caught you can delay the arrest process for hours while some poor beat cop goes to every Best Buy and pawn shop in the city trying to find a tape player.

        • Alt-dog

          LOL. That’s why I store all my secret documents on 5 1/4 inch floppies.

          • Contemplative Ron

            Fun Fact: the real reason the housemate and I moved into a much bigger house was that we were doing our backups on punch cards. 28.6 million of the things takes up a LOT of space.

          • dlemex

            Dog help you, if you ever dropped one of those decks.

          • dlemex

            Once, long ago, I had the source to the original Adventure game. I knew the big tape drives did not produce machine-independent tapes; so I decided to dump the source to punch cards. After the 5th or 6th box of cards, I cancelled the job. I would have killed for a 5 1/4″ floppy back then.

        • TJ Barke

          They’ve probably got an old AV setup in the basement or something.

    • Thaumaturgist

      For those of us who didn’t know, patribotics is Louise Mensch’s blog. Louise is the controversial British conservative who has been out in front of a lot of the Russian story. Some of her stuff has turned out to be reliable. In this instance, she doesn’t say any western intelligence service has a copy of the Trump promise tape; all she says is that they have Carter Page, Paul Manafort and Boris Epshteyn talking about the tape. It’s unclear how reliable Louise is.

  • Suttree

    And Turnip still won’t release his taxes via Spicer presser.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      “The president’s view has been very clear.” And that view is “get bent.”

      • Latverian Diplomat

        His view has been clear, but his financial dealings remain murky.

    • Proud Liberal

      He can’t! He owes hundreds of millions of $$$ to Russia and its oligarchs.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “Dear Mr. Trump, ‘I plead the fifth’ is not a valid response to our request for an audit.”
        — The IRS

      • Suttree

        We need to keep making this a thing! Fucking fascist fucker is indebted!

      • Erala Contratista

        And Germany, aaaaand so on.

    • efoveks

      He seems to think that “winning the election” is the same thing as “my taxes no longer matter” because orange man is stoooopid.

    • Tennessee Rain

      That’s okay. The harder he digs in, the more obvious it is that he’s hiding something.

  • The Wanderer

    Vote, Georgia! Don’t make me have to trot out my copy of Necromancy for Dummies and bring Sherman and his army back!

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • Proud Liberal

      Geez. Will they never learn?

    • The Wanderer

      Just digging that hole
      Digging in that hole
      Deeper and deeper
      Deeper and deeper
      Just gotta dig that goddam hole.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      United needs to toss Munoz out of a plane.

      • elviouslyqueer

        I am sick of this MOTHERFUCKING Munoz on this MOTHERFUCKING plane!

    • redarmyzombie

      You know, there’s something that comes to mind…something about nice things…

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Ha – that’s why the first incident was such a terrible blunder – who now is going to believe a word of United’s account?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The rule of holes seems to be asserting itself aggressively.

      • Claire

        For real. The couple’s story sounds pretty shady to me, but now United has zero credibility to dispute it.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          then again, who is their right mind would continually disobey a United flight attendant after last week’s news?

          • Claire

            People who figure they can survive a beatdown if there’s a multi-million dollar settlement on the other side, is my guess.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            on their way to their wedding?

          • Claire

            All it says there is that the Daily Fail said that they said they were on their way to their wedding. It could be true, or they could be grifting – there’s not enough information to be sure. Either way, though, United’s got no credibility to dispute it.

        • Yr. Gma

          The story does sound suspect. Why didn’t the flight attendant just wake up the guy in their rightful seats? But, yeah, no one is going to believe United now.

  • Asterix
    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I guess he didn’t get the memo.”
      — A Bernie-bro Perez-hater

  • Shanzgood

    Unlike the election in Kansas, national Democrats are actually spending money in Georgia to support Ossof

    Thanks, you chickenshits!

    • divegrl

      There was not a “total lack of support from the Democrats.” The state party spent close to $30k on the race. A $20k request was turned down because the money wasn’t there.

      • DrBigHead

        Then why is it that we read about the phenomenal amount of money in the DNC coffers? If this is even remotely true, then something has to change, and change NOW.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Even with HUGE amounts of money, you need to spend where the chances are good that you’ll get an actual victory, not a moral one.

          • DrBigHead

            NO! That’s the whole point! You said yourself that the Donald has made “safe” districts competitive. If the money isn’t being spent there, then where the hell is it to be spent? Only in places where the DNC think they will win?

          • Shanzgood

            Exactly. Like tax breaks for the wealthy. They don’t NEED the money. Ugh.

            They could have invested in the GOTV beforehand. I got my “go vote!” call mid-day on Election Day.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Yes, but going into the 4th district race in Kansas, that was not known. Now it is. You have to look at the reasoning before the vote came in, not after it.

          • DrBigHead

            And again, if the DNC is not willing to treat EVERY race as winnable, then we should just give the fuck up.

          • Claire

            Willingness to support candidates affects recruiting, though. I hate moral victories as much as the next person, I just feel like if the Dems never bother to spend the money to promote highly qualified Dem candidates from the community in a given red area, the voters in that red area can’t entirely be blamed for continuing to think that highly qualified Dem candidates don’t exist. I don’t think we have the luxury of not even trying anymore.

        • divegrl

          Don’t know about the reasoning at the national level, but, the state democratic committee did supply financial support to James Thompson campaign at around $30,000 worth free media, a lot of print material, some get-out-the-vote help. They gave as much as they could. The state democratic party doesn’t normally supply financial assistance to the candidates but since this was a special election they did. The state democratic party doesn’t actually have a lot of money to give out. It is more about building infrastructure. Especially getting people registered to vote.

          • Shanzgood

            I got a LOT of those state-party funded fliers but the complaint here is about lack of support from NATIONAL Dems. I can’t help thinking that if Thompson had had more support from them, especially to GOTV, he might have won. The national GOPs dumped $100k into the Estes campaign at the last minute because they were scared, and they went straight for the throat with a smear campaign just a few days before the election. Thompson got hung out to dry by the national Dems.

          • divegrl

            Pretty much lack of political well within the Democratic National Party. The Washington Post and the Observer both have great articles about this lack of political will within the party and it said but they’re pretty much ruling out rule areas.

          • Shanzgood

            Not all of Kansas is rural. With enough support, Thompson could have easily garnered the extra votes in the urban areas to win. All he needed was about 8200 more votes and those could have come from Wichita alone.

            Yeah, I’m still angry.

          • divegrl

            I know. I campaigned for him.

          • divegrl

            We didn’t have a lot of time to do rural outreach. See my post from Tom Witt under tap my wires post earlier today about ruralnKS.

          • divegrl

            It’s hard getting people to volunteer to campaign to make phone calls and to knock on doors so it’s hard to get out the vote.

        • divegrl

          I found out that one of the reasons the DCCC did not contribute to James Thompson is that he had not raised $50,000 by a certain date, probably 2/9/17. John Is sort did.

          • DrBigHead

            At least that is a rational reason.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The thinking behind this is Ossoff actually has a chance, while in Kansas, in a deep red district, James Johnson didn’t stand a chance. The fact that Johnson did so well without spending much and no national backing indicates how Donald has made even “safe” GOP districts unsafe.

      • Marceline

        I think part of the reason that the vote was even as close as it was is because there was also a Libertarian running who probably siphoned off some Republican votes.

        • Shanzgood

          He only got 1-2%.

    • divegrl

      It’s because he’s a Centrist Democrat and a corporate Democrat. He’s not a progressive like James Thompson

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I’m not worried. As my friend Vladimir always says, ‘If Georgia gives you trouble, just invade.'”
    — Donald Trump

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Today we are all Georgia voters.

    • wait! what?

      “I’ve voted in Kansas, and I can tell you, it’s no Georgia. ‘

  • Proud Liberal

    Your vote is your voice, Georgia! VOTE! When we vote, we win!

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    I was told by the Wonkette editgencery that my (paltry) donation to Ossoff would make a difference. Don’t make Wonkette a liar you Georgia voters! After all, we bought those votes fair and square.

    • Christopher Story

      With Soros bucks!

    • Proud Liberal

      I am donating to him monthly. I’m hoping he wins with over 50% tomorrow but, if not, I will continue to support him. If millions of people do that, he will have plenty of $$ to win the run off.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Oh, so you’re one of those “outside agitators” that a bourbon-soaked Deliverance reject NPR interviewed a couple days ago was complaining about. Well done!

      • Dutchman

        I have a genuine, if somewhat irrational, fear of the banjo people.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Fuck politics, it is all about music………..

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZceOIAh1i0

    • William

      https://youtu.be/mXtE2Rku7AE BTW, he’s on tour again.

      • Proud Liberal

        One of my faves!

        • William

          Yeah and get this. He’s in concert with (no shit) Cindi Lauper. Got my tickets to the July 2nd show in New Hampshire.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I saw him in Tallahassee last April. Great show.

        • William

          He must be getting on in years. I think it was 1975 or 6 he opened for Crosby Still and Nash and Carlos Santana at Rich Stadium in Buffalo. (They told me I had a good time). I remember saying “who the heck is Boz Scaggs?”

    • Chadwells

      I wanna play!! Anything with Georgia???

      https://youtu.be/AMFMf9cN64U

  • whitroth

    I tossed money at him. And at least the DNC is helping him. Trumpolini – yeah, right, it’s a Bad Thing when the Satanists, I mean, DemocRats try to win an election in Our Private Preserve….

  • Get out and vote, folks. I just read that the Regressives are going to turn out in big numbers.

    It’s, as always, all about the turnout.

    • divegrl

      That is what the state parties do mostly get people register to vote get people in the precincts to get active.

  • goonemeritus

    Come on Georgia, we believe in you.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    I donated again, after doing so a few weeks ago. Be forewarned though, that MoFo sure is a prolific emailer…

    • Anna Rompage

      Can;t be any worse than after donating to Hillary, can it be?

      I mean I had the FBI coming to my house twice, sometime 3 times a day, wondering what she had just emailed me…

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      This is why god created “spam-me email accounts”. I have one account that I ONLY use for accounts that I know will be constantly bombarded, like this. And I never check it. It’s probably ready to explode by now.

      • puredog

        My Yahoo email account got tired of counting, and has said “you have over 9,999 unread messages” for quite some time now.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        only reason I use a real acct is because ActBlue has a nasty habit of making your contribution recurring without your permission, so it’s good to keep an eye on them

  • Jgb979

    It just clicked who Karen Handel was:

    http://s3-origin-images.politico.com/2012/02/120207_karen_handel_ap_328.jpg

    That’s one spectacularly awful Republican candidate. We can get this done in the first round.

    • artem1s

      even in a run off, Handel is a horrid candidate. crazy forced birthers might turn out for her. But anyone who worked their butts off for Komen or who had a relative or friend saved by early screening were the one who pitched a fit until Komen fired her. Planned Parenthood didn’t have to lift a finger. Handel grossly misunderstood Komen’s constituents. She hasn’t been able to get elected yet. So she’s probably the best possible candidate for Jon to go up against if it comes to a run off.

  • Mavenmaven

    If he wins, Trump will blow a gasket on Twitter.

  • Chadwells

    OT: yeah…because “birds of a feather…” you dumb bastards. Shouldn’t be a difficult concept to grasp. Shitty people like other shitty people. How is this a story?!

    “Bill O’Reilly’s Viewers Still See Him Favorably, Despite Sex Harassment Claims”

    http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_58f4f9d4e4b0da2ff8623c87?ir=Politics&utm_hp_ref=politics

    • Claire

      I honestly feel like more metaphorical newsprint ink has been spilled since the election on stories that can basically be summed up as “Fans of awful people surprisingly discovered to be awful people themselves, and to value awfulness in others! No sign that awful people will regret the error of their ways so far, but we’ll send reporters on safari once a week and keep the public updated!”

      We know, okay? Damn.

      • Chadwells

        Exactly!!

  • calliecallie

    Samuel Jackson: Tomorrow’s the primary. You got vote.
    Voter: What?
    SJ: Special election. Jon Ossoff for the win. You got to vote.
    Voter: What?
    SJ: Say ‘what’ again. Say ‘what’ again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say what one more Goddamn time!

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      One of my top five favorite movies!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        “Would you give a man a foot massage?”

        “Fuck you, Vince.”

    • MynameisBlarney

      “What?”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Do you speak motherfucking English, motherfucker?”

    • WHAT DOES JON OSSOFF LOOK LIKE?
      Uh, he’s white…
      GO ON!
      He’s a nerd…
      DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?!?

  • Msgr_MΩment
    • WotsAllThisThen

      And you all thought Donald couldn’t get this solved! Easy peasy!

    • Asterix

      A paranoid, delusional regime just wants to be loved, just like everyone else.

      I bet if Donnie had invited Un to the Easter Egg Roll we’d all be singing kumbaya right now.

      • Anna Rompage

        But then Lil Kim would have a temper tantrum after being served egg rolls, instead of being to participate IN and egg roll contest…

      • Msgr_MΩment

        You just know that Un has the second bestest pee hookers on the planet.

    • Miles Monroe

      Calling Twitler’s bluff; gee, who could have possibly seen that coming, eh … ?!

    • CindyinEncinitas
      • Miles Monroe

        ALL YOUR MEDALS ARE BELONG TO US

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Other than the hats, our generals aren’t a whole lot less ridiculous.

      • Yellerduck

        All the badges end in even rows. Do they award them in threes?

        • Msgr_MΩment

          You get a bonus badge for neatness if you do it right.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        “This one is to protect me from the shrapnel of an exploding missile test, and so is this one, and this one, and this one, and this one. Actually, the only one that isn’t one of those, is this one, ‘for leading Flair Club.”

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        I’m surprised Twitler hasn’t ordered one of those for himself yet

  • CindyinEncinitas

    Um, Dok, Jean-Luc Picard says “Make it so,” and they’re photon torpedoes. *ducks*

    • Anna Elizabeth

      “Mr. Worf. prepare two Class X Quantum Torpedoes, and write on them “Don’t *fuck* with The Sisko.”

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Oooh, I want that one… Actually, either captain would work.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          You know why USS Defiant has that name? Starfleet regrets that there was no room to paint USS Ben Sisko’s Motherfucking Pimp Hand on the ship.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Great. The makeup is gone. My eyes are burning. You fucking guys. brb – have to go reapply mascara, etc.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            XD Jokes stolen from sfdebris.com. I only steal from the best.

          • The Wanderer

            USS Leeroy Jenkins?

    • Zippy W Pinhead
      • CindyinEncinitas

        You owe me a fucking keyboard, Zip.

        • Zippy W Pinhead
          • WotsAllThisThen

            See this is why I don’t like Monty Python.

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          Do not sip any beverage while reading Wonkette’s Disqus threads.
          When will you people learn?

          • CindyinEncinitas

            And mashed potatoes are right out.

    • MynameisBlarney
    • Yellerduck

      They’ve upgraded. Protons are much more environmentally sound and can be fairly sourced.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        My second cousin has a beautiful proton farm in the Central Valley. Protons as far as the eye can see, frolicking in the poppy-covered fields. You really should see it. He has a special breeding program for quarks, too. The really exotic ones.

    • doktorzoom

      1) I know. That’s the joke.
      2) Not in Star Wars, they ain’t!

      • SeeTrain65

        I thought David Dickinson said “Make It So.”
        Captain Picard said “Cheap As Chips.”

        I’ve got to stop watching old Kumars At No. 42 episodes.
        And old Bargain Hunt episodes, for that matter.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Upon reflection, I do believe I been punkd. But it was fun.

        • doktorzoom

          As Lt. Worf said, never turn your back on a Sicilian when death is on the line!

      • H0mer0

        [somehow I knew someone would try to correct the Dok trying to make a joke]

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Data shot first?

      Also, too, I could swear it was phonon torpedoes I heard.

  • Mumen Rider Justice CRASH!

    OK so I’m in South Carolina upstate…where do I catch the bus? (nudge nudge wink wink)

    • Vecchioivan

      Shhhhhh

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      That only works if you’re an “illegal”.

    • dlemex

      You know that the directions will be attached to your Soros check. Shhhh!

  • Tennessee Rain

    Okay. Okay. I gave to both Wonkette and Ossoff. And to Ossoff, I channel my inner Rupal and say, “Don’t FUCK IT UP.”

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Envisioning that gives me great hope but also terror of what will fill the void.

      • artem1s

        anti-Cleeks law. If the person filling the void enrages the rubes and the GOPers accuse them of all kinds of crimes and goat fucking, then said person is probably the best possible choice to fill that void.

    • Yellerduck

      The spoon is already standing up in the plot. How much thicker can it get?

      • The Wanderer

        It’s not opaque to X-rays yet.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        “Did I put too many quaaludes in that Jello-Pop now?” — Bill C.

      • Claire

        I’m hoping the IC has a better grasp on the plot than I do and doesn’t just throw up their hands, round up everyone with Russian surnames, and start loading them back on the boat. They might scoop me up by mistake and I hate the cold, though I am a big vodka fan.

    • Mumen Rider Justice CRASH!

      Is Rachel Maddow aware of this?

    • artem1s

      there is literally not enough booze in the universe for all the parties that will spontaneously erupt if half of this spy stuff is real.

  • Bill D. Burger

    If Ossoff wins:

    DonaldJTrump@realdonaldturnip
    Georgia election rigged by crooked Dems. Republican won by bigly margin but media won’t report. Sick dudes stole. Bad hombres stealing our cherished elections. Dems interfering in sacred GA GOP elections. SAD

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Bad hombres being code for Messicans.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      He’s projecting, again. In other news, Sun rose in the East today.

      Film at 11.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “And he would have won, too! If only that Georgia district had an Electrical College.”

  • h4rr4r

    Now let’s see if the purity ponies will approve of him or once again sit out voting and let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

    • Vecchioivan

      Bourgeois revisionist!

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Everyone who can needs to get out and vote in Georgia. Please help us make Donnie Dumbass cry!

  • Persistent Demme

    Speaking of elections…
    Happy Nice Times in CA:
    “California Democrats focus on normally safe GOP House seats”
    http://www.sfchronicle.com/politics/article/California-Democrats-focus-on-normally-safe-GOP-11077138.php

    You don’t have to be in CA. Check it out!
    https://swingleft.org/

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Anna Elizabeth

      LOL Pence is the Asshat of all Fucktards. What you bet but Mother puts enough starch in his Boxers to emulate cardboard?

      • The Wanderer

        I heard that he secretly puts cheese in his underwear to attract mice.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          EWWWWWWWW OMGLOL

          • The Wanderer

            (evil grin)

        • MynameisBlarney

          I heard that it wasn’t cheese.

          • The Wanderer

            Peanut butter?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Initial reports are suggesting it is some form of naturally occurring Tapioca pudding.

      • jesterpunk

        Does that explain the stick up Mike Pence’s ass?

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Actually, it might. XD

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        One man’s “blue steel” stare is another’s “owie, area chafing” grimace

    • Iron Monkey

      HA. Wait until the North Korean intelligence service realizes that’s the Mike Pence really, really constipated face.

      • The Wanderer

        It certainly can’t be anything else. Pence has all the personality of a parking meter.
        A violated parking meter.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        “Run for your lives! He’s going to blow!”

        • The Wanderer

          “And all I could see was that poor trained monkey trying desperately to put the cork back in.” – Survivor of the blast

    • Msgr_MΩment

      He threatened to have dinner with Un’s wife. Unchaperoned.

    • Miles Monroe

      Whan are these jagoffs going to grasp what a fucking insult parading around in a Top Gun jacket when they’ve never seen any military service is to people who have, not to mention those who’ve lost a family member?!

      No class, empathy, or even a sense for optics; worst part is, exactly what we’ve come to expect from the Trump Reich; WWIII and martial law won’t even be a surprise, at this point.

      • DT

        Apparently it’s not insulting at all because military morons keep voting for them.

  • Thiazin Red

    I honestly can’t believe that opponents were trying to use being a Star Wars fan against him. Because its not one of the most popular media properties in the history of ever, and only weird shut ins like it.

    • jesterpunk

      I cant believe anyone that graduated high school would think calling someone a nerd would be an insult.

      • Thiazin Red

        It depends I suppose. The entire republican party seems to think that getting an education and studying a topic means you’re an “elitist” and should be ignored or worse.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        I cant believe anyone that graduated high school …

        FTFY

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Obviously, they never saw Revenge of the Nerds…especially the part where the head nerd’s erotic skills stole the quarterback’s babe from the quarterback.

        • jesterpunk

          Maybe they did and they are still mad about it.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Point taken.

        • Jennifer R

          There are some good things to take away from that movie, rape isn’t one of them.

          • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

            I don’t understand? How so? If I remember correctly is was consensual. BTW I am the product of a sexual assault.

          • theblackdog

            It was pretty much rape because Lewis was wearing Stan’s mask, it covered his face, and Betty assumed it was Stan. Would she have consented if she knew it wasn’t Stan at the time? No.

          • Erala Contratista

            She couldn’t tell them apart at all? Wow. No wonder we are in such a mess.
            Unless it was a full body mask and anatomically correct…

          • H0mer0

            [if he was James Earl Jones, youknowwhatI’msaying?]

          • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

            OK, now I remember. And, yes, I agree.

          • theblackdog

            Yeah, it’s a terrible thing to realize about a movie you once enjoyed.

            On a different note, when my brother went to visit Univ of AZ, they must make the tour guides remember to point out all the places where they filmed scenes for the movie

          • Jennifer R

            She thought she was having sex with her boyfriend, but actually it was someone in the same costume pretending to be him. Which is a crime in every state and pretty much all of western europe at this point.

          • H0mer0

            I’m glad you are here (even though my parents let slip that I’m the result of contraceptive failure, but then they backtracked and said they really wanted me after all.)

          • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

            Well, you’re in the majority. I wonder how small the percentage of human pregnancies were from “trying to have a baby”.
            I have quite the story to tell…I was adopted (by two people who had no business having children) but anyway, a few years ago I found my birth-mother. We have the most amazing relationship! In fact we all, 7 of us, just went on a cruise around New Zealand and Australia!

          • H0mer0

            That’s a great story!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Kind of funny, when you consider that Trump’s pop-culture obsessed online fans think they’re the Republican base.

      • They do know they lose a lot, usually to some farm boy or rug rat from a desert planet, right?

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I’m pretty sure they think life has cheat codes. I guess it’s a better story than blunt objects.

        • Remember that some of them think THEY are Luke Skywalker and the Joos/cultural Marxists/queers are the Evil Empire.

      • Whitney Alex Barkley

        Excuse you. I happen to be both politics AND pop culture obsessed, and the pop culture/celeb gossip sites I frequent drag Trump on the regular.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          and you are yourself excused, because the whole point of the story is that the Republican party was willing to bet $1 million that voting Republicans think pop culture is nerdy and pathetic.

          And we all read the AV Club :)

    • Claire

      I’m betting the only Republican Star Wars fans ARE weird shut-ins. They’re the ones boycotting the new movies because they have A Girl and Some Not White People in leading roles. Ossoff’s opponents probably just generalized from their own cheeto-eating, basement-dwelling Angry Nerds to everybody’s nerds.

    • phoenix00

      Don’t look now, Fate of the Furious just beat it.

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    Out of curiosity I found one of Handel’s ads. Of course, one of her points is anti-Obama BS because that’s what is getting these fuckwads elected.
    https://karenhandel.com/handel-campaign-releases-first-television-ad/

    • H0mer0

      still waiting for a blue agent provocateur to latch on to the wingnut welfare teat and suck it dry.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Villago Delenda Est

      “And if you sell 10 eggs to ten different people ten times, you get a promotion up the pyramid!”

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        And the toaster oven!

      • Gorillionaire

        Now look at this slide show of my boat and my two McMansions!

    • Dawn Abraham

      Secretary of Educatuon?

      • MynameisBlarney

        FINALLY someone saw that!

        • H0mer0

          didn’t spell check help out, or is it one of their intenshunal misspellings inside jokes like on this here wonkitt?

    • Please. This is not real. Right? I mean. They did not spell it that way. right?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Oh, it’s real alright.

    • phoenix00

      Porviding the bestest edookashuns.

  • Jennifer R

    Last three grams of the 5 dollar strain at my local place, and they emptied the whole display trough in because they can’t sell less than 1 gram at a time.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Awww. Extra bonus points for not letting the leftovers go to waste.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Yes, Mr. Republican Elections Pundit Guy, funny you seem to think the ONLY thing that wins elections is how much money you have.

    It’s almost as if you believe the qualifying factor for anyone to get political power is a ginormous wallet, or something!

  • Dutchman

    As one of the 34 Democrats living in N. Fulton County’s part of the 6th district I will be casting my ballot for Karen Handel…..hehe…fooled’ya! My Jon Ossoff sign has been out for weeks.

    • Mowgli

      Tomorrow our Johns Creek household will be voting our Ossoff… He is a long shot to hit 51% but it would be an amazing, magical thing to see happen.

  • Dutchman

    And as a bonus, if we can get Jon elected without the runoff I get to have a lot less recycling when I return from the mailbox each day. Oy and the people knocking on my door. You’d think the Ossoff sign displayed at the end of my drive would be a dead giveaway that they don’t need to convince us.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      At one point I was up to nine emails a day from his campaign, and I’ve literally never gotten a thank you note which wasn’t a demand for more money. I’m much more likely to donate to Thompson next time.

      • Dawn Abraham

        Let them know.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          How, exactly? I’m certainly not clicking on a link in one of the emails that are supposed to be from his campaign, and there’s no feedback page on their website where you can unsubscribe or ask for lower frequency. .

          • Dawn Abraham

            Hm. Then maybe it would be best to link with local Dems who know better what’s goin’ on. Worse comes to worse, there’s no shame in starting a fresh email account.

            Saying “Thank You” should be a priority of any good campaign.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I would probably just bozo filter the address before changing an account I’ve had for over two decades :)

            But yes, I tend to agree, bad manners are generally a bad idea :)

  • ken_kukec

    “We have to channel the great vengeance and furious anger we have for this Administration … ”

    That’s some coldblooded shit to say to a Republican before Ossoff pops a cap in his ass.

  • Nicholas Jacob Underwood

    This is my district. I may have to walk (I would bike there, but the path to the polling place from my house has a TON of hills) to the polling place, but I WILL get there, even if I have to walk in the rain.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      Make it a brisk walk, one with determination.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Take others with you!

  • Me not sure

    I used to live and work I that district, but alas I don’t any more. Part of that district is in Cobb County, which used to be one of the reddest counties in the US. Hillary came very close to winning it in October. This can happen. VOTE, YOU GLORIOUS BADTARDS.

  • Marceline

    In other special election news, Bernie is going to Montana to campaign for Rob Quist. So we’ll see if that helps or hurts.

    http://missoulian.com/news/local/bernie-sanders-coming-to-montana-to-campaign-for-rob-quist/article_22e41a89-7bc5-5048-a31f-30e3bbfccc8d.html

    • HazooToo

      It had better help, but I’m still so fucking done with him.

  • Nodrama4mama

    I would personally donate $100 to every campaign that had Samuel Jackson use ‘motherfucker’ in it. Its my go to word since 11/9

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    My latest theory on the national Dems hanging Kansas our to dry was that they were seeing what would happen with no support; I’m guessing they said “wut” and will pour money into that race next year.

  • Mystery_Poster

    I work in the district, but don’t live there so I can’t vote for him. I did spend an evening making phone calls for him, though. WAY out of my comfort zone, but I felt like I needed to put myself out there for “the cause.”

    Fingers crossed that he can take his one home.

    Interesting fact: Osoff is only 30 years old, a mere baby!

  • phoenix00

    We need more nerds and geeks in government! Go Jon Ossoff!

  • Lamashtar

    Because my job in life has become to be an alarmist, I bring the article below and remind people that Trump won partly because voter information was stolen and used to micro-target people for psychologically tailored ads and misinformation (false times, etc). The GOP and their shadow partners are trying to steal EVERY election.

    http://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/329213-voting-machines-stolen-pre-georgia-special-election-report

    • HazooToo

      Another story on the site claims that Sanders thinks the “I’m with Her” slogan was “so phoney”. I seriously regret ever supporting that man.

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