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Alex Jones is in danger of losing his kids. He’s currently engaged in a custody battle with his ex-wife, who says he is an unfit parent and is using his videos as evidence in her case to prove he is a volatile and unstable person.

Via Austin-American Statesman:

“He’s not a stable person,” she said of the man with whom her 14-year-old son and 9- and 12-year-old daughters have lived since her 2015 divorce. “He says he wants to break Alec Baldwin’s neck. He wants J-Lo to get raped.

“I’m concerned that he is engaged in felonious behavior, threatening a member of Congress,” she said, referring to his recent comments about California Democrat Adam Schiff. “He broadcasts from home. The children are there, watching him broadcast.”

Having watched Alex Jones a time or two myself, it’s hard to blame her. Judging him by his broadcasts, I would probably not allow him to babysit my sea monkeys.

But Jones’s attorney, Randall Wilhite, is claiming that using those broadcasts to judge him is like judging Jack Nicholson’s ability to be a good parent by his performance as the Joker in “Batman” — because Alex Jones is just playing a character. It is PERFORMANCE ART! None of it is real! It’s just art and he’s an actor and apparently no one is deep enough to get it.

Especially his ex-wife, whose lawyers pointed out incidents in which he had actually claimed to be raising at least one of his kids to emulate his totally fictional on-air persona.

The first was a clip from a July 2015 broadcast in which Jones had his son, then 12, on to play the latest of some 15 or 20 videos he had made with the help of members of the Infowars team who, Jones said, had “taken him under their wing” during summer days spent at the South Austin studio between stints at tennis and Christian camps.

“He is undoubtedly cut out for this, and I intend for him to eclipse what I’ve done. He’s a way greater person than I was at 12,” said Jones, turning to his son. “I love you so much, and I didn’t mean to get you up here, sweetheart, and tell people how much I love you, but you’re so handsome, and you’re a good little knight who’s going to grow up, I know, to be a great fighter against the enemy.”

With this in mind, things are all starting to come together. Remember when Jones was all enraged about John Podesta being invited to one of performance artist Marina Abramovic’s Spirit Cooking dinners? And he was all like ‘Oh yeah, he for sure is into Satanism and stuff!’? PROFESSIONAL JEALOUSY. Yeah, he was sad that Marina Abramovic got all the performance art street cred, while he languishes in artistic obscurity, with no one recognizing his genius. Sure, people know who he is — but they don’t know him as a brilliant artist. And whenever anyone thinks of performance artists they think of Marina Abramovic and Laurie Anderson and that one song from Rent. No one thinks of Alex Jones.

Also, it explains why he sounds the way he does. I’ve always wondered how on earth someone goes around talking like that all the time without losing their voice or busting a vein in their head, but maybe he’s been using a vocoder the whole time.

(And yes, my entire knowledge and understanding of performance art is pretty much limited to multiple televisions and vocoders, but I was born in the ’80s. It’s not like my parents were taking me to 8BC after Mommy and Me Swim Class, ok?)

This whole thing, of course, is just one of the ways in which Donald Trump’s desire to legitimize batshit crazy conspiracy theorists is kind of backfiring these days. He described Jones as having an “amazing” reputation, and now even Jones himself is like “No, I am totally fake. I’m a performance artist! Let me see my kids, please!”

Mike Cernovich, who Trump Jr. thinks should win the Pulitzer, announced on Jones’s Infowars livestream last week that if Trump gets rid of Steve Bannon, he will drop “the motherlode” and reveal all of the Trump administrations nasty secrets, including “the sugar babies, the drugs, the pill popping, the orgies.” What are they gonna do now? “Oh, they were definitely telling the truth before, but now they are lying? And all the things Alex Jones said were also true, even though he’s now saying he’s a fake!”

GOOD LUCK!

[Austin-American Statesman]

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  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    He says he wants to break Alec Baldwin’s neck. He wants J-Lo to get raped.

    Whoa…on that note, this shit isn’t funny anymore. Fuck.

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      My robbing of that gas station was performance art!

      • Bad Tom

        And the jury awards you….
        A term in jail! Congratulations!
        The bailiff will seize you now.

        • willi0000000

          if he stole the whole oil company they would have made him a senator.

          • Bad Tom

            The best way to rob a bank is to own one.

      • coozledad

        Would you believe my client is Zombie Shakespeare?

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      With votes!

  • So he’s a worthless piece of shit stirring up hatred, racism, violence, and the destruction of America for money instead of being a worthless piece of shit stirring up hatred, racism, violence, and the destruction of America because he’s a true believer.

    That’s not a defense. That makes you look worse to any decent person.

    Not that it matters. His followers are remarkably stupid and will continue to believe him regardless.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    At a recent pretrial hearing, attorney Randall Wilhite told state District Judge Orlinda Naranjo that using his client Alex Jones’ on-air Infowars persona to evaluate Alex Jones as a father would be like judging Jack Nicholson in a custody dispute based on his performance as the Joker in “Batman.”

    “He’s playing a character,” Wilhite said of Jones. “He is a performance artist.”

    http://ct.fra.bz/ol/fz/sw/i60/2/4/8/frabz-boo-Your-art-sucks-and-you-should-feel-bad-cc38b0.jpg

    • SterWonk

      “Boo. Your art sucks is bad and you should feel bad”

      The first part needs to end with “bad”, or else it ruins the joke.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    It would be supercool if he were to state under oath that he doesn’t really think Hillz & Bamz smell of sulfur. That would be the acorn that became the oak tree, philosophically speaking.

  • DainBramage

    They need to get Jones, under oath, saying that some of his specific conspiracy BS is BS. Then we can play that for his fans.

    • jesterpunk

      They wouldnt care and would claim he is only saying that to get his kids from his wife who has cooties or something.

      • DainBramage

        Sadly true.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        They’re OK with him committing perjury, but not Clinton having emails?

        • Christopher Story

          1st rule of hypocrisy:
          I get to be a hypocrite. You do not.

        • jesterpunk

          Yes, they are ok with anything Alex Jones or Trump do. They are not icky womenz.

      • Christopher Story

        The irony is that those same people who will forgive Alex for having to lie to fulfill his agenda are the ones who scream about that Islam sect that says its ok to lie to the infidels if it accomplishes your goals.

    • schmannity

      While under oath, a few questions about his snake oil supplements would be nice.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Oh Alex, you pigfucking pathetic POS, you don’t get to have it both ways…..and anyway:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6c3817aa324f77653b6bb57b44ddcdb94f1c275e915bb1cb40749054f509080f.jpg

  • Mpeg

    Apropos of naught — the above image reminds me of that one scene in the movie when the mouthy guy gets whacked with one of his own teevee sets for $ale…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_UFcZjC3k0

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “Alex Jones and his Infowars’ umbrella of radio shows, YouTube and Facebook broadcasts, Internet website and tweets turned out to be Trump’s secret weapon,” Roger Stone, probably Trump’s oldest and closest political confidant, wrote in his book “The Making of the President 2016.” “His fiery words have struck a chord in the nation and he speaks for millions. In fact, more people follow Alex than watch Fox News or CNN.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/624c51d3622934cb14802f947b7acf86fb57aaf5237497f49482f883062bf0b4.gif

    • Lefty Frizzell

      He says that like it’s a good thing.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Yeah, more what people? That’s the thing.

  • BearGHAZI

    The sugar babies? You right wingers are so dirty!

  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

    Sure, why not. We’ve got a reality tv “star” in the Whitehouse who is guided by a neo-nazi and three grifter kids. Is there really anything Alex Jones can say that would be surprising?

  • WotsAllThisThen

    He broadcasts from home? Can’t afford a recording studio? So he’s basically Dale Gribble with a ham radio?

    • Damian L

      What do think he thinks would happen to him if he went out in public???

      • Iron Monkey

        Mass lack of recognition?

    • SterWonk

      Also too: he’s in Ausitin?!??!! Why aren’t my Austinites protesting in front of his house on the regular, FFS?!

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    The funniest part is they think we’d be surprised if they told us Donnie popped pills or went to an orgy. We’d be disappointed though because if they say it, it must not be true.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Alex Jones… has kids? That’s the greatest conspiracy of them all. I personally blame chemitrails, the Bilderburgs, the Hapsburgs, the UFO Aliens and the Reverse Vampires for this.

    #AlexJonesHasSexTruther!

    • schmannity

      Alex Jones. . . has had sex?

      • Clyde Barrow

        One can get just about anything they want in Tijuana if they have enough pesos….

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Some woman let him fuck her MORE THAN ONCE?????

        • willi0000000

          in vitro?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The Hapsburgs are far and away the most dangerous of the lot. They actually once managed to bankrupt Spain, you know.

      • Thaumaturgist

        Unless I’m mistaken, W would have been able to bankrupt the United States if Obama had not been waiting in the wings.

      • Ian

        TBF, Mexico bankrupted Spain. Cunning as those Aztecs are they let the Spaniards carry away nearly all their precious resources, knowing it would cause massive inflation which would collapse the entire empires economy. Enough of this Austrian School, I want more of the Tenochtitlan School.

    • willi0000000

      blame Darwin . . . he’s late with the award.

  • memzilla Ω

    He’s a regular Nam June Fake.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Mike Cernovich, who Trump Jr. thinks should win the Pulitzer, announced on Jones’s Infowars livestream last week that if Trump gets rid of Steve Bannon, he will drop “the motherlode” and reveal all of the Trump administrations nasty secrets, including “the sugar babies, the drugs, the pill popping, the orgies.”

    I’d be more excited about this if I thought that Mike “There’s no such thing as date rape!” Cernovich weren’t like Donald Trump: all bluster, no substance…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/07e995aede0015c0bc122527eebefed351e0c4015cb94796404e2511833bb1e8.jpg

    • TJ Barke

      He knows about things like that, and is willing to cover it up for Donnie’s benefit? That’s not how journalism works!

  • LarryHoudini

    I missed the part of the movie where the Joker singled out specific, real-life people for violence.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Well, there was that time he went after Patrick Leahy.

  • mardam422

    Couldn’t he just do stuff like flashmobs?

  • schmannity

    And he has had a sexual predator as a guest, some guy named Trump, and is frequently in the company of a world-class creep named Roger Stone.

  • memzilla Ω

    Anybody happen to remember what happened to that other rabble-rousing failed artist?

    • jesterpunk

      You might have to be more specific.

    • Mpeg

      Dubya?

      • WotsAllThisThen

        He’s the most talented painter in kindergarten! His parents must be very proud.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Terrific painter! An entire apartment in an afternoon! Two coats!

    • Wild Cat

      Yeah, ‘Piss Christ’ was great, but ‘Copro Mary’ was pushing it a bit . . .

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      He married his heil school sweetheart but it didn’t last.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I guess his ex-wife got nervous when he offered to take the kids out for pizza.

  • laughingnome

    I heard he tried to marry John Lennon to break up the Beatles.

  • schmannity

    Another poor right winger nut job unfairly depicted with direct quotes. UNFAIR!

  • Bad Tom

    So Alex broadcasts from his home. No actual studio, like real broadcasters have.
    Fake news from a fake person in a fake studio.
    ——-
    For realz.

    • Wild Cat

      I think Anal Cyst and Sean Five Points do too.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Just like Our Sarah!

  • Wild Cat

    So did Laurie Anderson. Her greatest performance art was pretending she and Lou Reed were in a relationship.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    They just like the shouty shouty -it resonates….

  • Poly_Ester

    Did Alex have a role in vetting the children that attended the WH egg roll?

    • Doug Langley

      They only allowed the kids who’d voted for Trump.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Very mixed feelings on this. I’ve followed Infowars from the start in the beginning they were making sense even if you did not agree with them they were doing research where the MSM were lacking. Over the time they became more radical and Jones was looking like he was losing his shit. However, I do feel it was just an act to keep ratings up. Anything for the ol’ mighty dollar. Something I saw elsewhere making me more skeptical of the entire 9/11 truth movement.

    However, The safety (and sanitiy) of his kids are priority number one but as a divorced father, meeting many others I also know how vicious exes can be (I consider myself very lucky to not have one of them but a very reasonable lovely woman who puts our child’s interest in the first place. Someone kind hearted and we consider ourselves friends now)

    He might go out of line a lot lately but taking away his kids needs very thorough thinking because he might be a clown, even kids of a clown deserve their father.

    And yes, breaking necks and raping people is bad and that should be addressed and he should not say such things but once again there is a difference confronting someone on his behaviour is something different than taking away his kids.

    • Claire

      The only research Alex Jones has ever done is the type that idiots on the internet are talking about when they tell you to “do your research” – they literally mean doing a google search and uncritically gorging on misinformation from the shadiest CT sites on the internet. Infowars has never, ever been a legitimate news site, and it’s generally considered (by sane people) to be a bad idea to leave children in the care of heavily armed lunatics who go around screaming that someone needs to be raped.

      In short: no. And please rethink your assumption that even a deranged father is better than no father. That’s highly sexist and offensive.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The “research” is finding out exactly what these paranoids want to hear, tailoring your message (and your advertising) to appeal to the paranoids, then presenting them with the sort of content that reinforces and rewards their paranoia.

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          So basically Fox news and everything like it?

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Yup, it’s about PROFIT!

        • Latverian Diplomat

          I don’t think he even does that kind of research. He just throws shit at the wall and sees what sticks.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        I see your point and agree in a large portion but in that case you could probably remove kids out of houses of most Republican NRA loving families.

        • Claire

          If there is someone in the home who traffics in paranoid schizophrenic fantasies, is heavily armed, and talks about people needing to be raped, then yes, I would argue that that is a very valid reason at least to have the children monitored by social services, if not removed.

          These are children we’re talking about. Civilized societies protect children, even if it means that the father will have his feelings hurt. The fact that America does not currently protect children from mentally ill parents obsessed with violence is its great shame, not a virtue than anyone should emulate.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Well thank you because that is actually the point I was working towards: You may not like this guy but how different is he to so many assholes out there? I don’t find it fair to take away his kids even though there are millions of Americans being raised in similar toxic environments.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Oh May I add: is considered totally ok because freedom of speech.

          • Claire

            So… your argument is literally that because we can’t remove every child from that kind of environment, we shouldn’t remove any of them? Because it’s unfair to the crazy armed father who incites rape on the radio, and because Freedumbs mean the crazy armed rape-inciting father can say whatever he wants without consequences?

            Are you fucking serious right now?

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Now you are putting words in my mouth I did not use. I try to diverge his parenting skills from his words spoken on a tv show which I doubt are his true feelings because I doubt he feels strongly about them when it comes to his children.

            But I am afraid I can’t put this into writing good enough because of the language barrier. This takes some very eloquent choice of words that I simply lack as a non native speaker unfortunately. In Dutch I could probably make a more clear distinction on my feelings which I simply cant do in English.

          • Claire

            Yeah, no. You said, and I quote:

            “I don’t find it fair to take away his kids even though there are millions of Americans being raised in similar toxic environments.”

            I just phrased it a little more profanely. The comment is right above us in this thread. You said that you don’t think his kids should be taken away because there are “millions” of other kids in toxic environments who aren’t getting help, so because those kids can’t get help, his kids shouldn’t either. That is what you actually said. It’s not “fair” to the fucking creep who says J-Lo should be raped, because clearly fairness to rape-inciting fuckwits is what’s important here, not the well-being of his kids. There is no way to make that sentiment palatable in any language.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Ok, I am doing my best so bare with me:

            What I meant is that I don’t like the fact that there is an example being made out of a pseudo famous American since there are so many cases of this being considered as freedom of speech which are just as malevolent as this case.

            The whole system is wrong then and you should have way stronger means to handle cases like this than just to go after this guy. I don’t know if this is correct english but in Dutch this would be called symbol politics.

            And as said I despise claims like raping anyone and he should be prosecuted for such remarks if the law allows it but taking away his kids is something different than either a slap on the wrist, a fine or even jail time.

          • Claire

            So what’s your suggestion? That famous people shouldn’t have their kids taken away from them even if they’re mentally ill and rant about violence all the time, because they’re famous so it would look bad?

            Nobody’s “making an example” out of this moron. He’s an individual with a pending court case like every single other person in America whose divorce involves contested custody. His wife is worried about their kids because their father is a lunatic who glorifies violence. The courts are worried about the kids because their father is a lunatic who glorifies violence. Those kids don’t deserve to be abandoned by the system because their father is a famous lunatic instead of a non-famous lunatic. And the fact that the system isn’t perfect is a piss-poor excuse to do nothing at all.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            well I think we agree. Let them have a fair trial and not a per media iudicii

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Is the casual nature of these points you’re making meant to be inflammatory? These are children we’re talking about. You have one/some, right?

          • Claire

            Check upthread – this guy’s a 9/11 truther. I think he’s off his meds.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            He has disavowed that upthread, but he’s definitely being provocative. I don’t need this right now.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “I lost the remote, looked for it a while, gave up, then I tried again later and found it…a successful research.”
        — Alex Jones

    • Wild Cat

      One point behind Feynoord . . . think we’ll catch them?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Of course. First we take Schalke and then the Cockroaches. afterwards, world dominance in three years.

        • Wild Cat

          The old Ajax ticket service ripped me off badly in 2015. The game I saw earlier this year at the ArenA only cost me 32 euros to get in. It was a Rotterdam-based team (1-0 Ajax!), but there was minimal hatred. Why is Feynoord the main rival?

    • Lefty Frizzell

      I disagree, but I’m finding it hard to put into words!

      We agree that he uses his platform to get people to believe fucked up shit and act on it in real life.

      You’re adding that he’s bad for his kids if he believes it himself but not if he doesn’t?

      Does that require his kids – aged 9, 12 and 14 – to be able to make an informed decision as to what their father believes?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Oh trust me am very conflicted on the matter. It’s just that I have difficulty to move to removing one’s kids on this. You have trouble putting into words well so am I as a non native speaker.

    • anwisok

      “He broadcasts from home. The children are there, watching him broadcast.”

      “raising at least one of his kids to emulate his totally fictional on-air persona.”

      If you think this guy should be in charge of shaping the minds of kids, I have to question how familiar you are with his recent (last, oh, 8 years or so) work. Even if she gets full custody – which is what I hope – he will still be able to see his kids, just on a limited basis.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        I do agree but how comfortable are you with people telling their kids that god created the earth in 6 days 6000 years ago?

        • anwisok

          That does set the stage for believing BS conspiracy theories, but isn’t quite the same as actively advocating for other’s death or assault.

          “He says he wants to break Alec Baldwin’s neck. He wants J-Lo to get raped.

          “I’m concerned that he is engaged in felonious behavior, threatening a member of Congress,”

    • CindyinEncinitas

      What, exactly, are you talking about when you say “9/11 truth movement?”

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        9/11 was an inside job, Bush did it, moving to Mini nukes in WTC basement, moving to no planes theory, moving to god knows.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Mmmmk. Ummm, my truth is the guy sitting on the ground, last one on the right. My brother-in-law was deployed with USAR CA Task Force 6 ON 9-11 and who spent 10 days on the pile and who saw it with his own eyes. Maybe I should arrange a phone call…

          • CindyinEncinitas
          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            I didn;t say I believed it.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Oh well that’s good because I stopped working, scanned the picture below, and composed a response to your post. So that’s 15 minutes I can’t get back. Thanks.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            You seem angry with me.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            I’m just feeling a little provoked for your entertainment. More frustrated, I guess.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            I am in no way provoking you, not even trying to be entertained. For what it’s worth I lost two dear colleagues in the 9/11 attacks.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Well then I guess the nuance of your comments is getting lost in translation.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            I guess it is.

  • Erala Contratista

    Mmmmmm…..Sugar Babies! Do it yourself tooth extraction.

  • schmannity

    He also wants to fist fight the imaginary character on Homeland. Sounds stable to me.

  • MizzMazz

    I got to see Laurie Anderson perform live. What she did WAS truly performance art, full of message, subtlety and humor. Alex Jones is no artist. He’s just an unhinged asshole who needs to keep his fucking shirt on.

    • Bad Tom

      Laurie Anderson is wonderful!

      • MizzMazz

        That show had me in awe. I’d never seen anything like it (United States pt1-4, I think it was called). Her movie Home of the Brave is great too.

        • Bad Tom

          Her latest movie is Heart of a Dog. Also terrific.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Roger that, R’amen. :)

  • Vincent Ricola

    Another patriotic male American getting his kids taken away for being a violent nutterbutter. So unfair :(.

    Meanwhile, did you all hear about Hillary Clinton’s private email server!!11!

  • Chadwells

    Telephone tough guy who is 50 pounds of shit stuffed into a 10 pound flesh sack. If anyone took him up on his threats to fight….we’d see that sissy mofo run for the hills. It’d be funny if it wasn’t so sad.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Or so dreadfully predictable.

    • boyblue122

      No chicken, you chicken

  • SayItWithWookies

    I didn’t believe Alex Jones when he said he was telling the truth – there’s certainly no reason to believe him now that he says he’s lying.

    • Bad Tom

      Schrodinger’s Liar.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Is this where we find out he’s really Tony Clifton?

  • Clyde Barrow

    Alex Jones has become low hanging fruit. Now that Mike Cernovich fella, he’s a real dangerous dickhead who probably needs a few slices of humble pie.

  • TundraGrifter

    “Judging him by his broadcasts, I would probably not allow him to babysit my sea monkeys.”

    That’s some funny shit right there! You betcha!

  • Chadwells

    I really can’t stand people who run around and brag how tough they are. More times than not….those kinds tend to be the biggest cowards and he is no different. People like this need some humility beat into their dense skulls. It’s the only cure that they understand.

    • Thaumaturgist

      Same same people who run around talking about how smart they are.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I’m feeling kind of stupid today.

  • Shoto

    Find the closest March of the Libtards!!

    https://www.marchforscience.com/satellite-marches

  • chicken thief

    How the hell he get custody of the kids in the first place?

    • Nick Scroggs

      Texas.

      • snark-lurker

        yes, there is that

    • snark-lurker

      one might suspect that mommy ain’t eggsackly a peach herself

      • Oblios_Cap

        She’s smart enough to get the hell away from him.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I’m guess he goes for the “even crazier than me” type?

  • MynameisBlarney

    Uh huh.

    And I’m a thuper-thecret double-naught thpy.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Thay it, don’t thpray it!1!

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I thougth tho! Doublth-Ohhth-Theven, I’mth Puthhy Glory.

  • PixieThis

    re·al1
    ˈrē(ə)l/
    adjective
    1.
    actually existing as a thing or occurring in fact; not imagined or supposed.
    “Julius Caesar was a real person”
    synonyms: actual, nonfictional, factual, real-life; More
    2.
    (of a substance or thing) not imitation or artificial; genuine.
    “the earring was presumably real gold”
    synonyms: genuine, authentic, bona fide;

    More:
    adverb NORTH AMERICAN informal
    1.
    really; very.
    “my head hurts real bad”

  • zerosumgame0005

    is this also “performance art”?

    Trump Bullies A CHILD At Easter Egg Roll Then Laughs
    http://www.ifyouonlynews.com/news/trump-bullies-a-child-at-easter-egg-roll-then-laughs-video/

    • Doug Langley

      I watched the video and still can’t believe it. Okay, I can.

      • MizzMazz

        The guy on the left’s expression is all, “WTF? That’s just mean!”

        • WotsAllThisThen

          Meh. He did the same thing to Tiffany every year.

    • GoutMachine

      Christ, what a fucking asshole.

  • wait! what?

    He’s no Daryl Hannah…

    https://youtu.be/WRNZmdb8w9I

  • Thaumaturgist

    If she gets the kids, he has to pay child support.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      And I’m sure it will be very generous. By the order of the Judge.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Women! Just marrying so that can get rich off of their husband’s money!
        Just kidding. I’m not a MGTOW.

    • Jennifer R

      That is honestly the best thing for them. Alex is dangerously unbalanced.

  • PixieThis

    Performance art is a performance presented to an audience within a fine art context, traditionally interdisciplinary. Performance may be either scripted or unscripted, random or carefully orchestrated; spontaneous or otherwise carefully planned with or without audience participation. The performance can be live or via media; the performer can be present or absent. It can be any situation that involves four basic elements: time, space, the performer’s body, or presence in a medium, and a relationship between performer and audience. Performance art can happen anywhere, in any type of venue or setting and for any length of time. The actions of an individual or a group at a particular place and in a particular time constitute the work.

    • tomamitai

      So a blowie inside the MOMA is performance art, but one in an alley nearby is public lewdness?

      • PixieThis

        I just find the term so weird! Especially coming from alex jones.

      • Claire

        It depends. Is anyone wearing body paint?

  • Anna Rompage

    Performance art?

    Is that what they call being strung out on steroids and trucker speed these days?

    • MynameisBlarney

      You have your muse, he has his!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I know how he feels. Firing Line was largely unrecognized for it’s contributions to Beat Poetry.”
    — Ghost of William F. Buckley, Jr.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      XD Well Played, Sir. *golf clap*

  • Anna Elizabeth

    OT – I met some nice ladies in my complex just now, and there is this guy that keeps sweetly offering me rides to the store. He’s A Derpatroid, but I think I will encourage him a little, he’s a Sweetie. :D

    • MynameisBlarney

      What’s a Derpatroid?

      And be careful!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Like a cute, Dorky guy. And I will, Darlin’ He introduced himself to me a week ago, and he kinda shyly smiles every time I see him. He lives in my complex and all, it seems legit.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Ah, gotcha.
          Well, cool then! I’m happy for ya!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            :) Thank you. Well see, but I like a guy that actually approaches. He doesn’t have to be beautiful.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            OMG, I’m so down with what you’re saying. Don’t make me read tea leaves. Say what you mean.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Right? It doesn’t even have to be a smooth approach. Geeky and shy, but try, and I’ll meet them halfway.

  • Bad Tom

    Alex:

    So you better get ready
    Ready to go
    You can come as you are
    Or pay as you go
    Pay. As. You. Go.

    For when love is gone
    There’s always Justice
    And when Justice is gone
    There’s always Force
    And when Force is gone
    There’s always Mom
    (Hi, Mom)

    So hold me Mom
    In your long arms
    In your automatic arms
    Your electronic arms
    In your arms
    So hold me Mom
    In your long arms
    Your petrochemical arms
    Your military arms
    ——-
    With apologies to Laurie

  • Oblios_Cap

    They call it Infowars because it’s the greatest enemy of information around.

    And Alex Jones? Fuck that guy.

    • Nick Scroggs

      Has me thinking about how, the more the name is “overdone”, the less they realize it’s the opposite of what it says. For example, Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea, House Freedom Caucus, and so on.

  • Nick Scroggs

    Jones will probably just go on air, and say it’s all a scheme designed by the New World Order’s remnants to destroy him for exposing them and making Trump president. Meanwhile billions of life stories go on around the world. Frankly,I want to hear more about things like lives of street criminals in a kind of “universal history”, people in poor areas who get up to work every morning for $4.50 an hour, and environmental activists risking their lives, rather than idiots like Jones who keep getting power.

  • Chadwells

    Alex Jones’ performance art master work:

    https://youtu.be/5BQHphcoVrU

    • GoutMachine

      I’ll skip it and go straight to In ‘n’ Out.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      That was so cute. I loved that part. That poor, sweet soul.

  • Bobathonic

    Oh I see the problem…it’s another misspelling.

    He’s just too DERP for us to get.

  • TJ Barke

    So now he has to either admit to being a loon or admit to being a bullshitter. Either way his sheeple will continue to back him.

  • elviouslyqueer

    that one song from Rent

    Oh, I am so looking forward to seeing Alex Jones throw on some Idina Menzel ponytail drag and fart out his version of Over the Moon.

  • Panika MCD

    yr friendly non-comments Texplainer thinks this whole thing will go down like:

    1) Judge Naranjo will say, “you are a bad man and not fit to be a parent.”
    2) the 3rd COA (which is a court that Panika appears to be the only Democrat to care about in the whole wide world sometimes) will say something like, “setting an example is not part of parenting.”
    3) it will then go to SCOT where Justice Willett will spend 50 pages saying that it’s okay to be a loon, but it is not okay to make your kids loons–especially with this Byzantine public school finance system we’ve got going on.
    4) Kelly and children will move away right before Alex files for visitation.
    5) he will begin to talk about how he didn’t think they were his kids anyway, but then the court forced him to take a paternity test and they are his kids and now he has to pay child support, but not indoctrinate them. AND HOW IS THAT EVEN FAIR?!
    6) because this is not what give 98% of his audience stiffies, he will lose his audience, then his show and he will not even be allowed to live under Austin bridges.

    Fin.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Seems likely. :)

      • Panika MCD

        I do know my TX courts.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          No doubt. :)

  • Kiri the Unicorn
  • WiscoJoe

    Bullshit. If Alex Jones was really a performance artist, Wikileaks would have accused him of witchcraft.

    • Panika MCD

      he would have accused himself of witchcraft.

  • Chadwells

    OT: Grrrr

    “Congressman Who Lost Seat Over Anti-Gay Remarks Tapped By Drumpf For Big Agency Job”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/scott-garrett-trump-export-import-bank_us_58f4c4e0e4b0da2ff861cbf4?ir=Politics&utm_hp_ref=politics

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Boy, that Ivanka sure has been working behind the scenes like a motherfucker, hasn’t she.

      • Chadwells

        Right!? So pissed.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      If you’re going to fail, at least fail upwards.

      • Chadwells

        He’s doing it right.

    • TJ Barke

      “Only hire the best people”

    • PubOption

      Wasn’t the Export-Import Bank on the Repubs’ chopping block during the last campaign?

      • Chadwells

        That’s what I thought too. Hard to keep track of the flip flops.

  • Mumen Rider Justice CRASH!

    Wait…someone married this guy?

  • Paul Dietzel

    Per Randall Wilhite “using those broadcasts to judge him is like judging Jack Nicholson’s ability to be a good parent by his performance as the Joker in “Batman” ” as opposed to, say, Jack Torrance?

    and, Robbertjan: “He might go out of line a lot lately but taking away his kids needs very thorough thinking because he might be a clown, even kids of a clown deserve their father.” , but don’t those kids deserve a father who isn’t a clown – or worse?

    • Panika MCD

      there are enough examples of him being an asshole while not on the air that Judge Naranjo could decide to rule the broadcasts don’t count as evidence (very unlikely) and they’d still have a month’s worth of examples.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Judge Naranjo? Looks remarkably like “orange” in Mexxxicanese… False Flag!!1!

        • Panika MCD

          and Amarillo, TX is a bunch of yellow bellies!

  • Panika MCD

    also too: just remember that Alex Jones was banned from his neighborhood liquor store for being a “performance artist” at the nice clerk with the New Zealand accent the day after the 2016 election.

    • Bobathonic

      Such range!

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yup.
        And don’t forget about his “performance art” when he crashed a TYT broadcast.

        He played the part of a mentally unstable bully very well. Nailed it, in fact.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Stipulating that Alex Jones is a greasy Carny that’s fucking the Rubes with a studded dildo for the $$$, I can’t get over how he’s a year younger than me, but looks old enough to be my father.

    I think fried foods might = Justice in Alex Jones life soon.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Needz moar mimes.

    • Bobathonic

      I support him converting his entire on-air performance art into mime.

      • Contemplative Ron

        He has a great face for radio and a perfect voice for mime.

      • Moar Wordz

        But it would just be a barking seal

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Or more striped uniforms, in any event.

  • Jennifer R

    Hope he never sees the kids again.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • ltmcdies

      HAAAAAAAA!

    • Anna Elizabeth

      LOLOMG

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Wait, so the Daily Show tweet wasn’t shopped?

      • MynameisBlarney

        No idea, lol

    • Bill D. Burger
    • wide_stance_hubby

      So, now blowing Tramp is all he does?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Yes, Mr. Bannon, you’re going to go down in history as a man who was tried and found wanting by a tax-evading globalist draft dodger who can’t read.

      It practically literally couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.

      • Paulinerwilliams

        Managing director of Google!, is explaining to users to start off “Work at home” method, that People have been doing for about one year now. These days alone, I generated close to $36,000 until now with no more than my home computer as well as some spare time, despite that i have a fulltime 9 to 5 job. Even everyone not used to this, can make $89/per h easily and the earnings can go even higher over time… This is how i started
        !st371c:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs661ShopServiceGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!st371c:….,…..

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Oh, let’s all pour one out tonight for the old sod. The really cheap stuff that reeks through your pores while you’re snoring on the front lawn.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Sod LIBELZ! Even Gomorrah wouldn’t have that bastard, and they’re the Fort Worth to Sodom’s Dallas.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Fuck you and the pantomime horse you rode in on, Jones: https://twitter.com/BraddJaffy/status/853963963247325184

    • mailman27

      One cannot even.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    On Friday he had Gavin McGinness (another loser of the first order) on saying how much the ladies just ♥♥♥love♥♥♥ the alpha males. Probably stings just a little bit more today.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Let me tell ya’ Fellas, ain’t nothing gets us hotter than the spittle-flecked braying of a lunatic.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        High five!

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Sistah!

  • coozledad

    I’ll believe he’s a performance artist when he shits a proper yam.

  • Jennifer R

    Jones has nothing in Kaufman as far as performance art goes.

    • Daniel Mann

      Kaufman wasn’t serious. Jones is.

  • Sister the Resister

    sugar babbies?
    I feel that perhaps I am missing a cultural reference there, somewhere…
    (also, why is there bacon on the sugar babies package?)
    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/56/Sugar-Babies-Wrapper-Small.jpg

    • Anna Elizabeth

      A “Sugar Baby” is a young woman that will give an older male a “Girlfriend Experience” in exchange for lots of money and gifts.

      • MynameisBlarney

        That’s a nice way of putting it, lol.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          XD I hate to be judgmental.

      • willi0000000

        but not quite a seamstress.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Because….bacon.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Lefty Frizzell

      They are the reciprocal end of the Sugar Daddy gifts and services pipeline.

    • MynameisBlarney

      These have been around forever, not sure if the name means anything.
      But what else are ya gonna call ’em?

      Because naming them after what the look like probably wouldn’t work.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Hey, it works south of the border for cacahuates…

    • Lambsendbeds

      Sugar Babbies are full of deliciousness. And sugar…but no bacon.

      • Sister the Resister

        And why is that? lobbying from the anti-bacon forces? pressure from the Separation of Sugar and Bacon groups? It would be irresponsible not to speculate…

  • geoffalnutt

    Selective “performance art”?

  • chicken thief

    Next they’ll claim that professional wrestling is “performance art” and not real.

  • SnarkON

    Paging Child Protective Services…

  • WiscoJoe

    Alex Jones is totally like Jack Nicholson in Batman: coked out of his mind.

  • Michael R

    In tonights performance , the part of ” Complete Asshole ” will be played by Alex Jones .

    • SnarkON

      “Complete Asshole” is portrayed by Donald J. Trump. Alex Jones plays “Complete Asshole’s Jester.”

  • Vincent Ricola

    OT – If CNN keeps using the phrase “more masculine” to describe pussygrab’s bomb drops and “demeanor” toward N. Korea, insinuating that every other president that had to deal with this were a bunch of “feminine” pussies, I’m going to throw up. Keep pushing for those war ratings, Wolf.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      If only the NKs had missiles that could range to Atlanta and take CNN off the map.

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        Evacuate Van Jones and Jake Tapper first. Tie Jeffrey Lord to a chair.

  • True to form, the most devout Wars of Info followers have already begun insisting that this story above is “fake” and that in reality everyone knows that A. Jones is “happily married in real life.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      That entire thing in court is “fake”. None of it is real. And Morgan Fairchild would never divorce Alex. Ever.

      • Morgan Fairchild? I thought he was married to Elle MacPherson. Alpha males get all the hot SI swimsuit models, as we all know.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Is David Sleaze Alex Jones’s muse?

    https://youtu.be/hwSXm8BZvAU

    • Mowgli

      OMG I completely forgot this existed and how much I loved it as a teenager.

  • ~ ☆ míkhαílα ☆ ~ 【忠実反抗】

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/61e3f3761122b368372a844e6ceb4853caccdde92f0f34f4499b790e5466570c.gif

    If Alex Jones is a performance artist, then I’m the Queen of France.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      One croissant or two, your Majesty?

      • Nockular cavity

        More cake?

      • ~ ☆ míkhαílα ☆ ~ 【忠実反抗】

        Two!

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Oh, jhc. What a horrible human being he is.

    https://twitter.com/politico/status/853999491279720457

    • Villago Delenda Est

      He revels in his assholery.

    • NastyBossetti

      No. Come on. That didn’t really happen.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Politico (and their revenants, like Haberman, Martin and Thrush) seem to admire assholishness in Republican politicians. It seems unlikely they’d slander him with that.

        • NastyBossetti

          I didn’t notice that there was video. He’s such a clueless cartoon villain.

    • willi0000000

      one of these days he’s going to trip and fall into his own asshole.

    • Even has to make the kids compete. It is his thing

  • Wild Cat

    He didn’t say Performance Art, he said Performance FART!!!!

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Performance Fartist!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Lepetomaine, anyone?

        • Wild Cat

          Had a pretty good run there in Paris. Sort of put the stereotype of the Serious Academic Frenchman into the dustbin.

  • Nockular cavity

    So, instead of saying “with votes,” can we now start adding “as performance art” after suggesting something awful?

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Alex Jones and Steve Bannon are being shed like the blood sucking fleas they are from that orange babboon ass. Lol @ sad white nationalists for never realizing Trump is a simple conman

    • CindyinEncinitas

      I would be glad but I fear that all we are going to end up with is Jared.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Could be worse. Could be Kay’s!

  • vivian

    Alex Jones is a Canned Clam, peeple.
    WE ARE THRU THE LOOKING GLASS HERE

    There. I said it.

  • aureolaborealis

    This one time, when we were young and banging an art-school student, we got dragged to someone’s senior thesis performance/whatever. It consisted of a young woman getting naked, writhing and screaming for 30 or so minutes, while the audience wondered if she was going to shit on the stage. Halfway through, we got shushed by our date when we muttered, “Jesus Christ, this is awful.”
    So, yeah, Alex Jones could rate, I guess.

    • Ricky Gay

      Oh man. Bringing back repressed memories!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Anyone remember Karen Finley? She’s faculty at NYU now.

      • aureolaborealis

        I think it was Karen Finley that had us wondering where things were going: Will there be yams crammed up asses, or will this be more of a GG Allin-esque performance, and we should have worn rain coats?

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I think yams are kind of last millennium.

      • Fancy Meau-Faux

        I used to have her album, it was great for putting on mixed tapes. Yes, tapes because I’m that old.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffXqeJZDC_U

        • aureolaborealis

          I see your Karen Finley, and I raise you one Diamanda Galas:
          https://youtu.be/WWbchljYtCA

          • Carpe Vagenda

            At one point in my parlous past I was one degree of separation from Diamanda Galas, but other than that she’s a sort of club Yma Sumac I know nothing else about her.

          • aureolaborealis

            What was the nature of this degree of separation?
            I saw her perform in ’93. I was impressed.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I knew somebody in passing who was married to somebody who worked with her.

    • chortlingdingo

      I don’t really get performance art.

    • Alt-dog
      • aureolaborealis

        That’s pretty much it, except when you’re 21 and attractive and naked, people tend to not tell you how much your art sucks.

    • major_asshole

      Writhing and moaning for half an hour on a stage, you say?

      Well, she was either going to poop or “finish,” as they say.

  • aureolaborealis
    • Daniel Mann

      Performance art should have ended right there.

      • Fancy Meau-Faux

        I was always more partial to Karen Finley putting yams into her vagina. Unfortunately (perhaps fortunately) I couldn’t find a video.

        • UnicornV

          Or covering herself in raw garlic then riding the subway in NYC :)

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

            She was probably quite popular in Brooklyn.

        • UnicornV

          “you know what I hate..” I love her.

        • Moar Wordz

          Oh 👦, heard it was somewhat souther

  • Mavenmaven

    Alex Jones needs more vocoder… shoved up his @$$,

  • Rags

    We must get Gallagher a WH press credential also too!

  • sadboy

    Jesus. From Laurie Anderson to this. No wonder I’ve lost interest in the avant-garde.

    Here’s a tip for Alex: include some kind of contextual indicator with your insane ranting, like having enormous quote marks on each side of your video feed, or speaking to the audience while submerged in a vat of your own urine like Piss Christ. Otherwise, it’s slander and incitement.

  • William

    At least Beck was honest when he said “I’m a rodeo clown and if you take anything I say seriously, you’re an idiot” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/10f33be952e292d1cd12e44bf1f143cfbb149f420b8a548054d5adc2a096b23c.jpg

  • ibwilliamsi

    Sounds like it may be too late for his kids, but I’d be interested in hearing what an independent child psychologist has to say about their upbringing…

    • Moar Wordz

      I can only speculate that it involved alot of ❤ 2 ❤ talks from Daddy re conspiracies, etc. Scary. Reptilians, your run of the mill 🌙 stories. People like that often create a whole web of false idealogy for their children & spouses, it keeps them under his control. He seems to be lost in his own erratic orbit.

  • goonemeritus

    I do find him very annoying and lacking in any identifiable talent, maybe he is a performance artist.

  • whitroth

    So, if I’ve got this right, either he is the fascist, racist nut-job he seems to be, or he’s not, in which case all of his fans are too-stupid-to-be-a-greeter-at-Walmart STOOPID.

    Or both, I suppose….

    • Dawn Abraham

      Knock it off. A lot of WM greeters are disabled for christ’s sake.

      • major_asshole

        Your profile doesn’t seem to exist, so I doubt you’ll see this, but heavens forbid we make jokes about a group of people in which there are some exceptions. We make fun of Congress, but there are some among even that group who can walk and breathe at the same time.

        • Dawn Abraham

          Next time you go to WM, try smiling and saying hello to the greeter before they say it. And in the check-out line, try saying the 3 golden words in this life “how ya doin’?” to the cashier. Maybe you’ll come away with a better impression of retail workers.

          • major_asshole

            I worked retail. I actually worked in Walmart (electronics) and at my university bookstore. So I will continue to hold my opinions of *some* retail workers as complete idiots–especially management.

          • Dawn Abraham

            And we finally concur . . . *some* being the key word.

            Happy Earth Day, brother

  • BearLeft

    Yeah, Alex Jones as performance art … La Vie Bovine.

  • rubikcube

    I would like J-Lo to rape Alex Jones with Alec Baldwin’s broken neckbone.
    So if he can convince the court he’s NOT actually like that Alex Jones guy he gets to keep his kids? Your Honor, I’d to submit as Exhibit A this creepy shirtless picture of our sausage eating defendant at breakfast-time and ask you, “Does this look like an off-duty performance artist to you?”

  • SeeTrain65

    “Having watched Alex Jones a time or two myself, it’s hard to blame her. Judging him by his broadcasts, I would probably not allow him to babysit my sea monkeys.”

    I’d be wary of letting near my pet rock.

  • theblackdog

    I see that he’s going for the Fox News and Ann Coulter “I’m just an entertainer” defense.

    I hope it doesn’t fly, and even if it does that there are some serious slapdowns by the legal system. His show has put people in harms way.

  • Who the fuck tells their 12 year old ON THE FUCKING AIR that they are so handsome and a good little knight?
    Who does that?
    That is not ok!

    • major_asshole

      I’ve NEVER heard any male parent call their male offspring sweetheart. Never. It boggles my mind.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    He’s got artistic precedent: Piero Manzoni sold cans of his shit.

    Obviously flinging it around, while on teevee puts extra avant in all the gardes!

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    I firmly believe that Jones is a wannabe Professional Wrestler. He acts like a Heel to be exact. Why else does he goes around picking fights. Its part of his act.

  • whitroth

    Thinking about it, shouldn’t he be claiming to be a Sensitive Performance Artiste?

  • AyeDiosDrinko

    Job Ronson’s take on Jones is pretty interesting.

  • osceola

    I call Jones a “conspiracy entrepreneur”. I think he really believes this crap and has figured out how to turn it into a very lucrative business model.

    How lucrative? Read the Statesman link. He’s paying his ex $43,000 PER MONTH, and she wants more. Judge Naranjo said no juror in Travis County would ever believe you can’t get by on $43K a month. I am a resident of Travis County, and the judge is right! (Also, this is the first time in my adult life I wish I actually HAD been picked for jury duty.)

    Remember in the ’90s, Limbaugh started getting some grief over his outrageous remarks and said it’s just entertainment and an act. Now Jones is falling back on that. Just like a bully — backtrack when people shove back.

    • Internet Hitler

      Morton Downey, Jr. ran the same scam in the ’80s.

    • Ducksworthy

      Number one defense at Nuremberg.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Agree with everything expect him really believing this crap. He knows damn well the CIA/FBI/etc are not after him for “exposing” the “truth”. Also too one of employees used the infowars email to sign up for news from the intelligence firm STRATFOR …something people who think they’re in danger for exposing conspiracies don’t do.

      He’s always been a fake and a fraud, and like you say, it’s been very lucrative for him.

      • osceola

        A former employee on the outs with him now says Jones is REALLY shitting bricks about a possible FDA investigation of his “vitamin supplements” racket.

        As far as your STRATFOR info, I don’t doubt it, and STRATFOR doesn’t care who subscribes. I do, however, agree that Jones exaggerates the shit out of plots against him — that’s part of his act to the rubes.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Yeah, the STRATFOR thing I see serves one purpose: Jones and other like him get inside news(in the sense that the general public isn’t aware) and use to to OMG “predict” the next whatever. Doesn’t always play out, but it gives the grifters an aura of credibility to the credulous. I think it’s called “hot reading” .

  • Me not sure

    I wouldn’t give this guy custody of a rabid raccoon, much less a kid.

    • natoslug

      I would gladly give him custody of a rabid raccoon. Or better yet, an entire room full of rabid raccoons.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Wolverines. Rabid Wolverines. Just imagine…
        *purrs*

      • Me not sure

        Don’t forget to put a package of hot dogs in his pants pockets.

  • Internet Hitler

    Oh, thanks loads, Alex. Now that you’re pretty much testifying in a court of law that you’re just making things up and pretending to be a wrong-wingnut, I hear the Pulitzer committee is reconsidering giving Cernovich a Prize.
    What’s next? Is Tomi Loren going to be all pro-choice? Is Glenn Beck going to vote for Clinton? Did these things already happen?

  • azeyote

    i bet them kids keep a special eye out for that “on the air” light so they don’t get mistaken for whatever crazy is erupting from daddy today –

  • C4TWOMAN

    So, basically, it’s the “Just Kidding” excuse…

    • Pisto75666

      “C’mon! it’s a joke! Aww, you libtarts have no sense of humor!”

    • Lamashtar

      It was a “social experiment”.

  • Scooby

    Next he’ll apply for NEA funding.

    • osceola

      So THAT’S why they want to zero-fund the NEA!

  • Blender_415

    Wait one… Cernovich is blackmailing Trump with this “motherlode” bullcrap? This could get fun.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    I hate performance artists. They always have to explain what they were attempting to do with their performance, because it’s always incomprehensible.

    • Dawn Abraham

      Saw a guy in a skirt and on roller-skates playing the violin up in Marin years ago. People on the street were mesmerized; he played beautifully. It helps if there’s some talent and competence on display.

      Btw, does anyone know how the woman who gave birth in the window of a NY art gallery . . . how that turned out?

    • TheBoatDude

      Goddamn interpretive dancers….always the same story about someone beating a goose with a golf club…the fuck is it supposed to mean?!

    • UnsaltedSinner

      From now on I’ll picture Alex Jones like this:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pz9M-9W7B5A

  • Manhattan123

    I knew Tony Clifton was still alive.

  • SullivanSt

    Here come the planes
    They’re American planes
    Made in America
    Chemtrails or non-chemtrails?

  • major_asshole

    He called his MALE SON “sweetheart” and “so handsome” on video. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present Exhibit 1 as to Mr Jones being an unfit and supremely creepy parent.

    Aside from that, there’s the whole laughable idea that he’s a performance artist and believes none of what he screams. That is such a crock of shit there are dysentery ward chamber pots from the nineteenth century that are embarrassed.

    Oh, also, too? The reason he can go around raving like a maniac without I’ll effect? DRUGS.

    • HazooToo

      Well, I do call my kid “sweetheart” and “handsome”, but I also do not put him in front of a webcam linked to millions of strangers who may know where we live! FFS, don’t market your kid to pedos! Also, he does sell “performance enhancing vitamins” or some shit, doesn’t he? I wonder if they’re the herbal effect of speed or steroids.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    And now my life long dream of writing comedy makes me reconsider not going to law school.

  • Joe Monte

    Who is the cuck now, Alex?

  • Relativicus

    I’m old enough to remember when using “You don’t understand, I’ve just been playing these people for suckers” would cost you your reputation and livelihood, if not your freedom. I assume his fans will just assume he’s lying about lying to them, which is what I, too, also think, as well.

  • Don Gwinn

    “What are they gonna do now? ‘Oh, they were definitely telling the truth before, but now they are lying? And all the things Alex Jones said were also true, even though he’s now saying he’s a fake!'”

    Yes. That’s exactly how they handled the CBO’s reports on job growth. And for their purposes, it worked fine.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    You can tell how serious these guys are about journalism by the way they claim to possess a “motherlode” of dirt on the Trump administration, but won’t tell people about it unless it’s politically convenient. Pulitzer worthy material, there!

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