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Hi! Me again! The Wonkette publisher and editrix and owner and YR MOM OF YOU. Remember like three months ago I said well, it is time to DQ all these ads and murder them with fire, because this is some fucked up nonsense these ads, they take over your browser, and they probably malware you, and they DEFINITELY track your shit all over the universe, that seems to be pretty much the whole purpose of ads today. And they’re NOT EVEN PAYING ME MONEY TO DO SO.

Well, it is time to remind you that because we have no ads and are 100 percent reader-supported then FUCK YOU GIVE ME MONEY!

Where else can you learn about all of the Trump things and not even want to kill yourself after? NOWHERE, that is where! Wonkette is the only website in the WHOLE WORLD that … no, that’s it. Wonkette is the only website in the WHOLE WORLD.

We learned a fun new statistic about our site’s readers this week, and that is that about one percent of you visit more than 30 times a month. You are considered “fanatics,” and are responsible for fully a quarter of our site’s visits. MATH, that means about 8,000 or 9,000 of you a month (out of a total readership of 800,000 or 900,000 a month, most of whom come once and are like HMMMM PERHAPS THIS IS NOT THE WEBSITE FOR ME!) are our SUPERFANS. AND YET. Only about three thousand of you a month are GIVING US MONEY. That is (math again!) only ONE OUT OF THREE.

Well, now is the time to fix that. Go get your wallet. We’ll wait right here.

We got babies and Evan and Dok and (part-time) Robyn to feed, y’all. And servers and Wonkebagos and MANY SPENSES. And we’re bringing you even MORE good new writers you already love, like Five Dollar Feminist and killermartinis, because we, like you, have SUCH EXCELLENT TASTE.

Now. You can throw us a buck or a hundred in that little clickie thing below, where it says “donate.” But what we really need you to do is make a recurring donation, every month, right from your tap, or what happens when Trump forgets to suck one month and everyone forgets to send us their ragebucks?

To make a recurring donation, you go here. You can do it with Paypal, or with Amazon, or just with a credit card, and payments are safe and secure.

Our readers should be signing up at least as often as TPM’s readers. Or the fans of those “dirtbag left” dudes with the podcast whose listeners are sending them almost DOUBLE WONKETTE’S MONEY to sit around and bitch about liberals once a damn week. Or … I don’t know, the only other people I can think of who are putting their money where other people’s mouths are are the poor fleeced sheep financing the golden jets of those terrible “prosperity” gospeleers, and we don’t want you to be fleeced OR a sheeple, fleecing sheeple (and golden jets) is not our bag, man.

We prefer to drive.

Thank you for reading Wonkette, you generous lover of goodness and light and yelling FUCK YOU TO POWER, or whoever needs a good FUCK YOU.

We love you real good.

[MONEY PLEASE]

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  • Villago Delenda Est

    ‘Trix, believe me, if my meager earnings allowed it (fingers crossed to win the lottery!) I’d make a regular contribution. Alas, this is not in the cards at this time. However, I will CONTINUE to support you morally and provide hilarious unpaid lame content here in the non-comments for the foreseeable future, hopefully inspiring others to open their wallets and/or purses and/or sporrans to supporting the Donna Rose college fund and general Wonkabago traveling circus.

    Oh, and throwing shekels at Evan, Dok, and the rest of the crew, of course.

    P.S. Any reason in particular for making this dunning post on tax day?

    • FlownΩver

      I’m guessing a subtle suggestion that munniez to Wonket would be better spent than paying for the DC-Mar-A-Lego weekly golf shuttle. Can we declare this site an alternative charity?

    • ziggywiggy

      I would have no problem with the ads coming back. When you’re poor , seeing ads doesn’t faze you, I’m so used to seeing the free version of everything(games,movies,news) I can just blank them out. Wonkette deserves to be earning a ton of money if the ads pay better than donations I say yay for ad income!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        My problem with the ads is not “crass commercialism” or “selling out to the man” but the fact that the advertisers refuse to hire competent coders who can present ads without screwing up the very content that attracts you to the site. There’s not much Shy can do about someone else’s shitty code, and that’s nearly every single time the problem with ads.

      • Persistent Demme

        One of the problems with ads (I didn’t really mind them, either), was that they totally messed with Discus.
        They made my precious wonkette impossible to read, (at least on my laptop, with my pathetic tech skills).

      • Pinkham’s Law

        The ads, according to ‘Trix, weren’t paying shit. Add in the fact that they made Wonkette slow and buggy as all fuck, and she decided to trust the Commentariat to step up.

        • ziggywiggy

          That sucks. Unfortunately creative people can have a hard time surviving on their talents. Now I understand why coding is an issue.

    • Bloobee

      Rebecca didn’t make the post on tax day. At least according to the timestamp, she made it on the 17th. The day before tax day. Which is today. Tuesday, April 18th, 2017. AKA…tax day.

      The day after R posted the article.

      [Rebecca, I’ve emancipated you from needing to answer Villago’s question.]

  • Hemp Dogbane

    Oh, all right, I’ll do it. Kevin Swanson is not going to be happy when he sees I cancelled his monthly.

  • BloviateMe

    Are the P&L statements not looking good since the great ad banning, Trix?

    I could maybe up my monthly tithing a bit.

  • Shoto

    “And we’re bringing you even MORE good new writers you already love, like Five Dollar Feminist and killermartinis…”

    And lest we forget Dominic Gwinn, who brings us Happy Nice Time Animal Babbies every weekday morning. I, for one, enjoy having my eyeballs massaged with Happy Nice Time Animal Babbies before being assaulted by whatever freaking horrors Donald Unhinged Orange Monster-Baby Drumpf has on-tap for us that day.

    And speaking of freaking horrow shows, did we get Blowed Up Good by North Korea overnight? If so, am I really typing into the electric box right now, or am I already up in heaven with Jeezuz? I’m so DrumpfPunchDrunk, that I can’t even tell anymore.

  • FlownΩver

    A modest proposal:

    If anyone among the Wonkerati is considering sending a contribution to the DCCC or the DSCC please do this:

    1. Divide your intended contribution in half
    2. Give both halves to Teh Wonket. Now.
    3. Also give both halves directly to congressional candidates you believe in.

    Did you say “What?”

    Say “what” again. Say “what” again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say “what” one more goddamn time!

    • Shoto

      That’s some of that fancy, liberal-elite college math, right?

      • proudgrampa

        Deficit spending, baby! Deficit spending.

    • Crank Tango

      That sounds complicated. Can’t we just sell our offsprings as livestock?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I am SORELY tempted to follow your advice. I’m getting more out of Wonkette than the DCCC. The DCCC keeps spamming me all the time, with Nancy Smash threatening to beat me over the head with her gavel if I don’t send more monies and such. Then there are those really annoying begging emails allegedly from a Michele Obama who, IRL, I know would NEVER send me such email, because she’s way too classy for that.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      My mouth always waters when I hear “a modest proposal”.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        What are you, a Ferengi?

  • Susan Szews

    OKAY OKAY monthly donation sent geez. Repo Man is the greatest.

  • Crank Tango

    Boom. €19.47 donated, take that you fancy libtards.

  • FlownΩver

    OT:

    Reports of police gassing Trump Tax Return protesters in Berkeley.

    WTF, Berkeley? Is Reagan governor again?

    • proudgrampa

      Yup. Pretty soon he’s gonna be firing all the Air Traffic Coordinators, too. Also.

      • FlownΩver

        Whereupon United will drag everybody’s asses off the plane.

        Great.

        • proudgrampa

          Hey. I don’t make the news, I just report it.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Fucker made me have to buy a last minute bus ticket from Pittsburgh to NYC to catch my first air flight ever.
        WIll. Never. Forgive.

    • Nick Scroggs

      Local news sources or anything, cuz I haven’t been able to find it online.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Sweet Jesus. As if I didn’t feel enough guilt over finding matching socks to wear to church tomorrow (Hi Mom). I’m in Rebecca.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      You found Rebecca’s ingress and egress points?

      • FlownΩver

        See? Commas matter!

  • The Wanderer
    • Msgr_MΩment

      I’ve read that Trump has a lot of money, maybe even millions. He should be able to afford his own damn carriage, right?

    • Vecchioivan

      Maybe someone could sell the emperor some new clothes for the occasion. . .

    • Yr. Gma

      Millions of angry protesters, horse-drawn buggy, what could possibly go wrong? (Fingers crossed. All of them.)

    • Villago Delenda Est

      If the royal carriage ride happens to take him to the Tower, and a visit with some Beefeaters, it’s nearly as good as a trip to Place de la Concorde, if you catch my drift, and I think you do!

      (Ducks Dok’s banhammer)

      • Me not sure

        Place de la Concorde DBA Place de la Revolutiòn aka Beheadings Ŕ Us.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          DBA La Place de Knit one Pearl two

          • Me not sure

            Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.

        • tapp_my_wire,please

          Donald asks, Guillotine, was she that one time blonde girl from Paris?

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Guy O’Tine, the Irish fashion house founder.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      May the horses experience a case of temporary explosive diarrhea

    • Me not sure

      They already have the back half of a horse.

      • Nounverb911

        Prince Charles?

        • Me not sure

          A team!

    • Bozilingus
    • Mr. Blobfish

      The Queen better count the silverware before he leaves.

  • Yr. Gma

    I am a “fanatic.” Go me. (Proud to be a member of the One-Third Club.)

    • CindyinEncinitas

      I have been saving myself for the right organization to be fanatical about and I am well pleased today. I’m going to let my freak flag fly, starting with wearing my Wonkette shirt to Easter Sunday dinner like Jeebus would want.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • Nick Scroggs

    Any trolls going on? Wanna record some for my archives. and is it me or is everyone off today?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Alas, TLM is busy on grindr at the moment looking for someone else supposedly straight who shares his obsession with gay male buttsechs.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        #turgidlovematters #neverforeplay

      • Mary Sandoras

        I missed his last appearance:( Did he win any prizes?

        • Amy!

          Judging from this year’s winners, he’s prolly up for a Pulitzer.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          He got a date with Brad.

          • Shucky Ducky

            So that’s why that fucker Brad stopped returning my texts. [Snorts loudly]

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Did he tell you he’s too busy for you? FYI, honey, that’s code for “you’ve been replaced.” Move on, baby.

    • snark-lurker

      what do you mean by, “off”?

      • Nick Scroggs

        Disappeared, gone fishing, whatever. These comment threads are surprisingly empty.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I think the milk is off.

      • Nick Scroggs

        That’s why I drink that orange grease that falls off pizzas by the glass.

  • Chadwells

    Uh oh…baby hands is gonna have a tantrum.

    “Leaked Email: President Trump’s Modeling Agency Is Shutting Down”

    http://m.motherjones.com/politics/2017/04/leaked-email-trump-models-will-officially-shut-down

  • Nounverb911

    This is the only pony gif I have at the moment, I’ll ride over to Paypal after lunch.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/407661c7d0e97c398f58da03e73d43d67dab2b1d95456eef9c11991321c2c9da.gif

  • TundraGrifter

    Why does the little one’s hat only have one Mouse ear?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Run in with Sylvester and/or Mr. Jinx.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Because it gets her all the signal she needs?

    • Nockular cavity

      I also note that she left the Wonkephone off the hook. Good to see the Trix doesn’t spend the Wonkedollars on those fancy-schmancy push-button phones.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      She has to look forlorn to extract the munneez from the rubes.

      • TundraGrifter

        Puss ‘N’ Boots eyes.

    • The Witch of Endor

      Because that’s all they could afford!!

  • lowenufc

    I donated just so you’ll be quiet. And yes, I did drink an entire growler of pils,thank you very much.
    Keep up the good work, all of you. It makes me happy, and a little sad.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Don’t you dare wipe this pretty smile off my face.

    Do you remember
    When we used to dance?

  • BMW
    • Yr. Gma

      I look a little better in person.

      • Jennifer R

        I am picturing Nanny Ogg.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    This is awkward, ’cause I don’t pay for things I use. How am I supposed to pee on a golden toilet if I actually pay for things? That just makes me smart!

  • Suse

    When I saw that Drumpf is demanding a ride in QEII’s royal coach, it brought to mind the Marquis Evermonde in A Tale of Two Cities. Perhaps he just wants to run over a poor child and throw (fake) gold coins at the father to add another notch in his belt of atrocities. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/da06bc90c86ceb04b68d4e220d6d91356fdb21471790f5a738b0c6b7c969c65d.jpg

    • Msgr_MΩment

      He had better beware of brigands. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbtVaTWs6II

      • Suse

        lol!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        “This redistribution of wealth thing is more complicated than I thought!”

        • Kiri the Unicorn
        • Msgr_MΩment

          Oh, it is, Donald. Everything is more complicated than what you and your toolbox thought.

          • puredog

            He IS his toolbox, yet sadly devoid of tools.

      • Royal Ugly Dude

        Give Trix all your lupins

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Can we all just be pirates now? I’d like my handbasket to hell to have a little cache.

      • Pierre_de_Fermat
      • wait! what?

        It’s a hold up, not a botany lesson!

  • Nockular cavity

    Wait, the Wonkebago can fly UPSIDE DOWN NOW??? What deviltry is this?

  • Mary Sandoras

    I sent you a pony (check) via snail mail last week from NM. You know who I be now? I really should write my screen name on the check.

  • Ricky Gay

    I will scrape​ up some dough. Guess I will have to cut back on my monthly abortions. :(

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I’ve cut down to bimonthly.
      That’s the word that means every other month, or is that the twice-a-month word?

      • Ricky Gay

        Partial-birth?

        • Shanzgood

          That’s how you get them twice a month. They don’t take it all out at once.

          • Pierre_de_Fermat

            JFC, Shan …

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Pass the brain bleach.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        I didn’t know you were Bi. Got a pic?

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I found a top on Redbubble that I want. It says “I’m Bisexual, Twice the Awesome.”

      • puredog

        Every other, is the correct use of bi-.
        — A Pedant

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      You just have to wait for an AbortionPlex 2-for-1 sale

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Tell you what. Yesterday had my assesment and coming Tuesday will be the final Interview (yes I know, sigh) I guess by thursday I will know if I have the job. If I will I will jizz you with Dutch euro’s.

    So pray and clap along!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCyIY10KBnk

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      Best wishes. Dutch? The last time I was in the Netherlands, they were still using Guilders. I have some 20 Guilder coins somewhere around here.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        See me waltzin’ with Matilda
        She show me how to make a guilder
        Tom Tom givin’ me the evil eye
        Can’t get enough of that cherry pie

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWeZXwpYvy4

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Ah the Guilder how I miss them. Bloody Euro.

        • puredog

          I remember the first time I went to Europe with American Express Travelers Checks — in Euros, mind you — and NOBODY would accept the fucking things. I had to go cash them in at AmEx, where they had the chutzpah to charge me a fee for doing so. I was astounded, as t.c. had been the go-to traveling money of choice for decades.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Well in our defence, I am 36 and never had or used a cheque.

      • wait! what?

        The most popular Gilder. Guaranteed to get you danger in the shape of something wild.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fe2a9078dbf47b2beb289ede26a6fa5267b57ad5bca5daf71d20df6b46c0edf7.jpg

        • Pierre_de_Fermat

          Something wild? In Amsterdam … oh yeah, the red light district wasn’t far from where we stayed. I think a body was pulled from a canal a couple of weeks after we left. Some thought it might be connected to Russian Mob, but that was a long time ago … (well, still used Guilders and all)

  • Nockular cavity

    NEVER MIND, FAKE COMMENT

  • I’ve been sending munniez, but I have yet to see this pony I’ve been funding. :-(

  • Shoto

    The downside of not having ads anymore is that I’ve already forgotten how to deal with The Heartbreak of Crepey Skin.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Saying goodbye to Melissa McCarthy and Betty White were the hardest things I’ve ever done. I wouldn’t have even known they left without the ads.

      • snark-lurker

        now now calm down & show me where it hurts

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          I’m not falling for this a 5th time, snark-lurker!

          • snark-lurker

            oh darn

          • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

            “Fool me four times, shame on you. Fool me five, and…oh yeah, right there! That’s the spot!”

          • snark-lurker

            yeah i was just gonna kiss it, mebbee lick it a little bit, or suck on it, possibly

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            WHOA, HONEY!

          • snark-lurker

            i didnut do it tho!

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            I got my eye on you, boy!

          • snark-lurker

            i will go to my room now

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            That’s right and think about what you did! Wait…no…don’t. Or donut, as you say. ;) It’s cool, mang.

          • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

            You know he’s in his bunk now, right?

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Sigh. Yes.

          • BloviateMe

            The crusty socks that are stuck to the ceiling are stalactites. An easy way to remember is that they “hold tight” to the ceiling.

          • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

            snark-lurker only crossed the line. You just dropped a MOAB on it…

          • Anna Elizabeth

            ewww

            Ain’t they heard of soap where you’re from? XD And it must be hard on your feet to wear those sox.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Snark Lurker Crunchy Socks!

          • puredog

            Better still: stalaCtites attach to the Ceiling, stalaGmites attach to the Ground.

          • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance
          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            He doesn’t know about the bear attack that took my other eye.

          • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

            Shall I fetch him a shovel?

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Not just yet. My arms are still tired from the last one.

          • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

            You dug the last hole YOURSELF?!? Moving to paradise really has changed you…

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            I got tired of the crying and begging.

          • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

            You used to enjoy the crying and the begging…

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            He wouldn’t put the lotion on his skin! I’m supposed to let that slide??

          • FlownΩver

            Was it Gladly, the cross-eyed bear?

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            I had to Google that! Very Easter appropriate!

      • Nick Scroggs

        Wait, when did they die? (Sarcastic)

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Sideboob explosions. It was not pretty.

      • Christopher Story

        All those one weird tricks I’ll never be able to try.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          I knew I should have bookmarked that one about curing your brain tumor with coconut oil.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        I tried to buy the extra-terrestrial squishy thing that took away my frownlines but they sent me the one that adds 10 yards to my golf swing so I’m not missing them at all.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          You needed that more anyway. I don’t see you with frown lines!

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Ur so sweet! Yeah, par 5s can be exhausting.

  • dayzeemayzee

    My beloved NPR’s witty, respectful pledge drives have failed to move me to donate as swiftly as “FUCK YOU GIVE ME MONEY!” just did. Kudos!

  • Nick Scroggs

    Fry: Married? Jenny can’t get married.
    Leela: Why not? It’s clever; it’s unexpected.
    Fry: But that’s not why people watch TV. Clever things make people feel stupid, and unexpected things make them feel scared.

  • Nick Scroggs

    Zapp: The alien mothership is in
    orbit here. * points to map* If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of
    the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!
    Kif: (sighs)
    Zapp:
    Now, like all great plans, my strategy is so simple an idiot could’ve
    devised it. On my command, all ships will line up and fly directly into
    the alien death cannons, clogging them with wreckage.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      I never before realized that Donnie got his military stragety from Zapp Brannigan. It all makes sense now!

  • Christopher Story

    I’m a fanatic! But I’m also a poor. :(

    • PerSister Big Puppy

      I’m sad you’re poor. It’s OK not to give when you’re poor. Pay it forward when you’re not.

  • BloviateMe

    I’m disappointed Dok didn’t do a nerd roundup post on the new Star Wars trailer.

    Not hyper-analyzing a two minute trailer is in bad taste.

  • Teecha

    You have my monthly cash. Big love from the sandpit! Xxx
    ETA:
    Also too, I wonder where is our snake oil bulletin? I used to enjoy that.

    And too also, does anyone know where behind closed menus/ off the oven went to after thrillist?

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      I think Colin may still be available, but you might contact Rebecca.

    • PerSister Big Puppy

      I miss the Snake Oil Bulletin, too.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Where else can you learn about all of the Trump things and not even want to kill yourself after? NOWHERE, that is where! Wonkette is the only website in the WHOLE WORLD that … no, that’s it. Wonkette is the only website in the WHOLE WORLD.

    Not only that, but contributors to Wonkette receive FREE UNICORN KISSES!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e2ea9d930e97417be05ae95d48503fab1f46513bcb3f92335412f6f410202238.jpg

    What other website (of which there are none) can make that promise?

    Well, all of them, Katie, because we’re not gonna really follow through on that any more than they would. Truth is, our unicorn may talk a good game, but in person he’s actually kinda shy. However, he will thank you politely and refrain from commenting upon your taste in interior furnishings until you’re safely out of earshot.

    Thank you, and enjoy reading Wonkette!

    • Msgr_MΩment
      • Kiri the Unicorn

        I’ll be in my bunk. Stall. Whatever.

        • puredog

          Depending on where that unicorn kissed me, it could be mighty uncomfortable. You could lose a eye.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      That’s ok. I’m not shy. I’ll make the first move!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Lots of times us Chicks have to help a fella out.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Truly. Bless their clueless hearts!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            XD So shy, so unaware. PROTIP, Fellas – us wimmenz often like the sex too. Sometimes, all you have to do is ask….

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            *takes notes*

            Okay, should I shred the Swiss cheese, or just slice it really thin?

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Use Canned Clams as a substitute.

  • Nick Scroggs
  • notaten

    Question: I still have my $9.99 a month subscription from when the ad-free thing first came out. Should I cancel that and go with the $10.00 recurring monthly donation? I haven’t yet because lazy, but if that penny’s going to help Wonkette, I will buckle down and get it done. I do occasionally throw an extra tenner in the pot if I’m feeling flush.

  • Shoto
  • Nounverb911

    PSA
    SNL is live tonight in all time zones, even the mysterious magical mythical mountain time zone.

    https://twitter.com/jimmyfallon/status/852701835462930432

    • Mary Sandoras

      I live in the mythical time zone patiently waiting for the calderas to erupt again.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        You near Brigadoon, by any chance?

        • Mary Sandoras

          Placitas, it’s in between Albuquerque and Santa Fe.

    • Yeah, but Jimmy Fallon. . . That’s a hard pass for me.

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Happy Easter!” Shoutout to all my …wait for it…peeps!

    I’ll show myself out.

    https://i.redditmedia.com/oBujyW1pIwgQ6RnvVhlryexUhVAnJ7Kpx0lttWBRlHQ.jpg?w=395&s=0ca08db37f7478659c557e3b2ecf0459

  • Chadwells

    Berkeley protests are popping off. Getting chippy!!

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Weird bot preyed on my love for the non-commenters, 0/10 would not be spammed again.

    • BloviateMe

      Dr. Ahmed can help with that.

      • Alt-dog

        Madam Cleo libel.

    • Mary Sandoras

      Coincidentally, I’m having a sale on spells this week.

      Dr. Mary

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      They don’t realize they have to promise $90/hr and a brand new Land Rover Range Rover to come on here.

      • Suse

        Lori libulz!!

        • Msgr_MΩment

          I hear that Lori’s grave will be found empty tomorrow!

    • Alt-dog

      I’ll bet Cora hasn’t even made a donation to Wonkette. Freeloader.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    If you guys need any romance spells, I’m selling my special concoction of ginsing and eye of newt for the low, low price of $29.95 per monthly sprinkle amount. I need some suckers loyal followers to help pay for monthly Wonkette payments.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I need magic to fix my hair and skin. Or maybe just really good science.

    • Crank Tango

      Eye of Newt? I’d use eye of Calista if you really want it to pop. http://www.amnation.com/vfr/Gingrich%20and%20Callista.jpg

      • Suse

        Newtie goosed her.

      • Villago Delenda Est
      • The Witch of Endor

        Double, double toil and trouble,
        Fire burn, and cauldron bubble
        Fillet of a fenny snake,
        In the cauldron boil and bake.
        Eye of newt and toe of frog,
        Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
        Adder’s fork and blind-worm’s sting,
        Lizard’s leg and owlet’s wing,
        For a charm of powerful trouble,
        Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

        That’ll be $5.00

        • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

          Well, it is the Ides of April.

      • Me The People

        I find it impossible to see that picture without ‘hearing’ the shower music from Psycho.

      • Bill D. Burger

        Looks like Newt just gave her an Easter goose.

    • Mary Sandoras

      Any spells that can make a president disappear? Asking for millions of friends.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        I’m still working on that, but dragon gallbladder is really difficult to come by. That, and everybody in the village is soooo touchy when I ask for the blood of their firstborn infant. Selfish pricks.

        • puredog

          Well, if they’d just prick the little bastids, that blood would be easy to collect.

  • Nick Scroggs

    So instead of trolls and guys saying that we need to kill all the sodomites, we get Cora L.Sanchez, a spam bot.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Dirty, dirty Sanchez!!!

    • The Witch of Endor

      Selling spells, no less.

    • Suse

      Who is this Dr Ahmed guy? I only buy my spells from Dr Bombay. He has the best spells, believe me.

  • Nick Scroggs

    Nixon: Good evening, ignorant pigs. Put down your crack pipes and
    your beer bongs and pay attention as I sign an historic peace accord
    with Ambassador Kong of Nintendu 64.

    Fry: Hey, I know that monkey, his name is Donkey.

    Professor Farnsworth: Monkeys aren’t donkeys. Quit messing with my head!

    • TJ Barke

      Space invaders need to do laundry too!

  • Nounverb911
    • Nick Scroggs

      And to be a pessimist, this’ll just make politicians in power want to hold onto tax secrecy even more.

  • Nounverb911
    • Teecha

      I can answer that question as a non American. Yes. Yes it does.

  • Nounverb911
    • jesterpunk

      Darth Vader libelz.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        After all, Darth Vader did have some good left in him.

        • Point of order: that “good” wound up being Hayden Christensen.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Er…um…well, my saber has been deactivated!

  • Jonny On Maui
    • Oh, that’s so wrong. I love it.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Thank you…

      • Msgr_MΩment

        This is why I don’t get hung up over Easter.

        • Paul Julian Gould

          Yeah, but some other folks seem to get a bit cross…

          • Msgr_MΩment

            I’ll just pass over that joke.

          • calliecallie

            Better to have risen above it.

          • Paul Julian Gould

            Not sure if you’re discussing what I sed er not…

          • Paul Julian Gould

            (work with me here… one of those that works better if’n you hear it…)

    • Suse

      Jesus Christ!

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      You nailed it, baby.

      • Paul

        OK. That’s it. BOTH of you go stand in a corner.

    • Teecha

      HAHAHAH!

    • BloviateMe

      Holey Christ.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Serai 1

      OMG, MUST MAKE THESE. If only I can find the cookie cutters…

  • Shoto

    Another good segment from Joy Reid’s Saturday morning show.

    http://www.msnbc.com/am-joy/watch/will-trump-start-ww-iii-via-n-korea-922011715924

  • jesterpunk

    Who knew you could find economic advisors on Amazon? I guess they really do sell everything now.

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/328969-report-kushner-found-trump-economic-advisor-navarro-by-browsing

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Show of hands: Who is sick of winning yet?

      • jesterpunk

        We are winning? Must be the prize for the worst president in history.

        • Mary Sandoras

          Ding, ding, ding.

        • TJ Barke

          “Winning”

          • jesterpunk

            “Alternative definitions and facts”

      • Tokays_don’t_blink

        I am, and bigly so.

  • Little Doll–MOAMF

    So…about 5 minutes I gave money…at least, maybe I did. PayPal is doing a version of sit-n-spin all its own.

    • Jonny On Maui

      One of the great things about the new donation link is no more PayPal. That’s a big “Yeah!” For me. I consolidated all the small PayPal donations into one and kicked in a little more.

      • Little Doll–MOAMF

        I think I’ll do that too, thanks Jonny. I wanted to set up one that sends every month and there wasn’t a way to do that either. I thought they might offer it when the payment went through but they’ve been asking me to “please wait” for about ten minutes now.

  • Nounverb911
    • BadKitty904

      IF THE “PRESIDENT” DOESN’T PAY TAXES, WHY SHOULD I?

    • Bill D. Burger

      I’m with Emma. Shout out from Estes Park.

  • Nounverb911
    • PerSister Big Puppy

      Yes.

  • Paul Julian Gould

    Well, considering I’m old enough to be at least a big brother or an uncle, if not your dad, admonishing accepted and made a donation…

    But, sons? Really? *chuckle*

  • Bill D. Burger

    Secret footage smuggled out from deep inside a Easter egg factory.
    Now you know the secret of the Easter egg and how it’s made.

    http://i.imgur.com/SFsNtrV.gif

    • “NO MEANS NO, THUMPER!”

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Bambi sure had a lot of shit to go through, amirite, ladies?

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      I have friend who’s owned rabbits (as pets) for as long as I’ve known her. The males are horny buggers. There’s one who could. not. stop humping her son’s basketball. Nobody wants to shoot hoops with a violated ball, lemmie just say.

    • Shoto
    • The Witch of Endor

      Gay and interspecies breeding.

      I do feel a little bad for the rooster.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      This will give Kevin Swanson a boner righteous fit of indignant rage.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I call shenanigans. It ought to go the other way, amirite?

    • FlownΩver

      Keep fu…

      [You all know this one. Rarely is it so literal.]

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Have you guys seen this ridiculousness yet?
    https://twitter.com/AriMelber/status/853332513296707585

    • mackafritz

      That’s what he thinks!

      • Suse

        Tweety keeps calling them the Romanovs. As I recall, they came to a bad end.

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          The Romanov kids were SO much nicer than these grifters.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            And that Mr. Rasputin sure cleaned up nice, compared to that Bannon guy.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          That’s the way the Faberge Eggs roll.

    • Uh, actually, it would be more accurate to say that those four people can’t be HIRED. Because laws. But, whatever.

    • Apparently, Tiffany and Baron can be fired, though? Okay, so hiring Baron would violate child labor laws, but why should Trump care about those when he obviously doesn’t care about any of the others?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      How does Daddy feel about 160th term abortions, though?

    • Left Coast Tom

      Jared can’t be fired? Doesn’t New York have divorce courts?

    • calliecallie

      Okay, then. We won’t fire him. We’ll just lock him up.

  • Maybe we should have us a Wonkette podcast thingie where we sit around once a week and bitch about the people who bitch about liberals and tell SUPER CLASSY dick jokes and get recipe tips from a gaymosexual, and maybe some makeup tips from one of them ladies what love shopping at The Home Depot, why not? We can put it in the SoundCloud, or the eTune, or wherever, and it can earn our Trix ALL THE WHORE DIAMONDS, because we will have dulcet voices and speak all of DA TROOFS and everybody would be all like, “Wow. These people sound reasonable and they are funny and are clearly in need of my whore diamonds!” after we explain what whore diamonds are on the first episode, entitled, “Does Not Contain Jar-Jar Binks, SO YOU LISTEN NOW!”

  • Alt-dog

    I’ll say one thing about Cora, she sure is a persistent bot!

  • Suse

    Cora done got the banhammer?

    • Mary Sandoras

      She was a persistent wench.

      • puredog

        It’s obvs her bf decided he couldn’t stand her whining about being dumped.

    • And she wasn’t even trying to explain to us how easily we can earn a McLaren P1 from the comfort of our own homes, or anything.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Aye, I was trying to issue a call to Dok when it struck. Yay Dok! (Or Shy, if it was Shy who did it.)

      • Suse

        I’ll bet DR did it while costumed as ferocious lion.

    • TJ Barke

      What’s a Cora?

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Whiny Bitch got dumped *again*. Don’t Be Like Cora.

  • Nick Scroggs
  • PerSister Big Puppy

    I’m in the 1% . . . of Wonkette readers! I’m barely a member of the Commentariat but I am a member of the much more important 33% of 1-percenters who make a monthly donation!

    To those of you who can’t afford it, I understand. When you can afford it you’ll pay it forward. And those who can afford it: get off your freeloading butts and throw a recurring donation ‘Trix’s way.

    • Suse

      I’m a recurring giver of monies.

    • Mary Sandoras

      This is how it works for me. About every 2-3 months I end up drunk on Wonkette and they throw cute babby and dog pics at me. My checkbook mysteriously opens up and I end up writing a check. When I sober up the next day, I mail it in.

    • Little Lulu Ω

      I give monthly. Some months I give twice, depending on how much business I get. I love it here, and I give so it’ll continue to be here and so Evan and Dok and the others can be here too. Also, there’s Donna Rose to think about – our helping out here every month means we get to watch her grow up into a force of nature the whole world will love one day.

  • Nick Scroggs

    Gonna post this, because i just realize, I don’t think I’ve actually watched this in my life. The good cut, not the crappy one the studio first released. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj5Xczethmw

  • Nounverb911
    • TJ Barke

      Something something baseball cuck.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Here’s a catchy little number going out to Sean Spicer who, reports to Pentagon for Navy Reserve duty. Totally sure the timing is coincidental. Hope you enjoy the Sea of Japan, Sean.
    http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2017/04/14/sean-spicer-reports-to-pentagon-for-navy-reserve-duty.html
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmGuy0jievs

    • “We want you! We want you! We want you TO SHUT THE FUCK UP, SEAN!”

    • Suse

      Maybe “Commander” Bannon will join him in a rousing game of Battleship.

      • Mary Sandoras

        I thought they were still playing connect the dots with the prez?

    • Mary Sandoras

      OMG, who’s going to replace Spicer? Stephen Miller? Kellyanne? I’m already nauseous just typing those 2 names.

      • BadKitty904

        Ben Stein? Alex Jones?

      • MilwaukeeKent

        Melissa McCarthy?

      • bupkus23

        I just read a piece at Washington Monthly’s “Political Animal” blog, where D.R. Tucker was speculating that perhaps Rump will appoint O’Reilly to Spicer’s position, once his “vacation” at Fix News is over….

        Link: http://washingtonmonthly.com/2017/04/15/the-next-voice-you-hear/

        I dunno if I’m horrified, nauseated, or just amused….

  • Suse

    ‘Nobody’s got to use the Internet’: GOP’s Sensenbrenner calls Internet optional as FCC readies to limit broadband.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      After serving ten years in the Wisconsin State Legislature, Jim ran for the United States House of Representatives and was elected in November, 1978.

      Time to go, motherfucker.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Throughout his public life, Jim has been at the forefront of efforts to preserve the sanctity of life, eliminate wasteful government funding spending, and protect the interests of American taxpayers.

        Maybe he’s in the US Naval Reserve and needs to serve on the USS Carl Vinson?

      • Suse

        Probably his only electronic device is a 1970s era calculator.

    • Oh, FFS.

    • Tokays_don’t_blink

      It’s almost like the Repubs think they have something to gain by restricting peoples’ access to information.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    I should have been a fighter pilot. Watching a doc about the Air War in Vietnam, USAF jets have “Blue Bandits, 20 miles at 12” – 2 MiG-21s closing head on, they merge, and the USAF jets turn for pursuit. I’m like “dummies, it’s a trap, no way MiG-21s accept the merge like this!”

    Yup. The trailing USAF jets are left turn, covering, when a camouflaged MiG-21 blasts in for a shot on the engaged USAF Phantoms.

  • Nounverb911
    • Nick Scroggs

      The Corleones?

      • Nightcrawler

        Not gonna lie, but at first my heart sank because I thought this was a picture of Bobby Cannavale.

        • Nick Scroggs

          Holy crap, you’re right.

      • Shoto

        Corleones Libelz!

    • puredog

      Why not “very fake tan”?

    • Nightcrawler

      I’ll bet that picture smells like too much axe body spray.

    • Nick Scroggs

      And of course everyone’s looking at the bikini butt in the background. I assume.

      • Little Doll–MOAMF

        I hope he enjoys his last weekend before the arrests begin.

    • Shoto

      Douchebag Extraordinaire

    • Anna Elizabeth

      This time Fonzie didn’t Jump the Shark, he got Fucked by the Shark.

    • Tiffany de Houston

      His father is a fake president.

  • Serai 1

    Frodo and I just watched two sparrows having a MASSIVE fight in the lemon tree outside. Now Fro is getting high, and I’m about to light a pipe, myself. (LOL, he’s drooling as he’s licking the denuded catnip branch he was chomping on.)

    • Suse

      Who won?

      • Serai 1

        Hard to say. Suddenly they fell silent and one of them flew off.

    • BTW, I have found someone driving through your neck of the woods in a week or so, if you still want that mixer. She seemed totally okay taking it down there, but I’m not sure where “there” is, exactly. And, OH! I promised that you aren’t an axe murderer, so sorry if I spoke out of turn there.

  • Nightcrawler
    • Lizzietish81

      aaaan shared

    • Nick Scroggs

      I don’t even get why the term “snowflake” is used. Like, snowflakes are water molecules and dirt in a Brownian motion, but that they melt easily?

      • Teecha

        Delicate. I suppose. I’m not sure why that’s meant I be insulting.
        Maybe also the thing about all snowflakes being unique? Again – insult is unclear.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        “Special Snowflake”, it’s a stoopid insult based on how conforming a person is.

        I’m not one for following crowds, so let the worthless Knuckle-Fucking Wastes-of-Skin call me a Snowflake. I’m too busy enjoying my life to give a fuck.

        • coozledad

          One of the cousinfucking nazi dirtbags punched a woman in the face at Berkeley yesterday.

          He’s been convicted of armed robbery, but he believes that blacks are more likely to commit crimes. Geraldo will probably be blowing him on TV inside of a month.

          • Anna Elizabeth, TifosiforLife!

            I know, these things have no shame, and the MSM are lining up to service them.

      • From the RWNJ world: The ashes of Jews floated around like snowflakes (around the “Holocaust Centres” I suppose…) .

    • ProudWesternPatriot

      We don’t need to justify to you freaks why we want to carry a gun, any more than you need to justify why you want to kill your baby.

  • Shoto
  • MilwaukeeKent

    So Jesus is up on the cross and he sees this kid in the front of the crowd looking up at him. “Pssst! Hey, kid. Climb up here and pull the nail from one of my hands!”
    The kid clambers up and pulls the nail.
    “Whew! Okay, now the other one.” Done. “Oh, man. Thank…..whoa! whoa! The feet, kid! The feet!” As he falls forward, face down.

  • ProudWesternPatriot

    United should have offered Dao free derivery of chicken with broccori with por fry rice. That would have gotten him off the plane in no time.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    OK the Jeffocaster challenge: After whining and moaning about the inability to donate 42 dollars (base ten) there appeared a box in which you can donate any amount above 5 bucks. I am issuing a CHALLENGE TO THE WONKEROOS TO DONATE $42 and be in the 42 club. In addition to the love of your peers, you get absolutely NOTHING. (Willy Wonka said it best) I donated last week and believe there will be more to come, as long as Rupert Murdoch does not buy this site. 42 club, think about it. But not too long, because Donna Rose needs a college fund, Dok another vacation, and Evan a chew toy for his doggie.

    COME ON DONATE!!!!!! Libtard commie freaks, do this !!!!!!!!!

    Brought to you by the ‘caster in the desert…..

    • PerSister Big Puppy

      42 – the answer to the meaning of life and everything.

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        Precisely

    • That’s about what my monthy subscription comes out to in Canadabucks after the exchange rate

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • He’s two steps forward, on giant leap back sometimes.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        I guess he’s a politician.

        • Yup. I still like him overall, but some of his stances are problematic at best

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Yup, as soon as you get to progressive your head is cut off. We still bow to our oil overlords.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        We still bow to our oil overords.

  • Suse

    TLM is back in town.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Is he the fucking boring racist shit-stoopid idiot I just blocked?

      • Suse

        Yup

    • Shucky Ducky

      CindyinEncinitas just told me that TLM is the reason that Brad has been ghosting me and I WILL CUT A BITCH! LET ME AT HIM!

  • Little Doll–MOAMF

    So Paypal sucked, didn’t work. So I went into my bank account to see if it did, by some miracle, work, and no, of course it didn’t. HOWEVER, I was able to see fucking VERIZON billed again on a supposedly closed account, so, after 15 minutes of trying to get to a real live hooman on the line, I finally did. He found out they’d suspended the account, not cancelled it, as per request. Because of course, because they’re assholes. So now I get to trek out to the nearest Verizon store (which will take 4 different bus rides to go and get home again, but of course everyone has a car, right?), to take care of this shit and get my $32 back.

    BUT, I sented the Wonkette some monies through Amazon. So, yay!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/858072270ff85cd149143e035679900faec0eea6cc383a5a157fb0a2f9ce8c0d.gif

    JFC, I’m exhausted and I haven’t even gone anywhere yet.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Shit, I’m sorry Hun.

      • Little Doll–MOAMF

        I’ve decided to console myself with the last of the kimchi. I guess next week I’ll have to have a kimchi-making day.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          That sounds yummy! I love kimchi. :)

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            It’s a really nice, spicy recipe I got from Maangchi–she does Korean cooking videos on YouTube, but I bought her book, too. She’s the cutest little thing!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QQ67F8y2b8

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Sweet, thank you! :)

    • Panika MCD

      fuck, Business Insider said nothing about having housing within biking or walking distance from former phone carriers that keep charging you!

    • Teecha

      Sounds arse. Maybe also take to twitter to rage against them and their arsiness? I only ever use twitter to complain about poor customer service these days.

      • Little Doll–MOAMF

        That’s a very good idea! It worked with CenturyLink when they screwed me over on a piece of equipment they told me was mine, then later charged me for…6 MONTHS later, when I no longer had it, because, again, I had cancelled the service and didn’t need it.They still got $50 out of me on that, though, the feckers. I complained on Twitter after that and they dropped the other $50.

        • Teecha

          I don’t know if it’s the same for your bank, but I can ring mine and ask them not to pay out on a direct debit which I’ve cancelled. When I used to work in insurance, it was a standard line we used with customers- I’ll cancel it here, but you should also cancel with your bank as well, just in case.

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            I’ll try that first, thanks Teecha! Since I have to wait till Monday before I can go out to the store, I’ll call my bank first and ask them to get rid of that. Maybe I won’t have to make the trek.

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        Does complaining about governments’ poor customer service count?
        In that case, me too.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Oh fer’ fuck’s sake. No….just NO!

    [ Trump Demands Queen Of England Pick Him Up In Gold-Plated Carriage, Organize Parade During Visit
    By Jameson Parker on April 15, 2017 12:09 pm

    Trump is said to have asked the Queen of England to pick him up in a gold-plated horse-drawn carriage and be given a parade as he makes his way to Buckingham Palace for an official visit.

    Donald Trump waving from the Queen’s royal carriage is not a scenario many would have foreseen a year ago, but it has become a very real prospect, forcing security services to plan an unprecedented lockdown.

    The White House has made clear it regards the carriage procession down the Mall as an essential element of the itinerary for the visit currently planned for the second week of October, according to officials.

    This may be another petty attempt by Trump to appear “better” than his predecessor, President Obama. The former president had repeatedly told the English government that it was not expected to drive him around in a gold chariot, citing cost and security.

    Trump, who views appearances as everything, has a different perspective. Who would have thought?

    At several times, Parliament has debated whether to forbid Trump from entering England due to his history of racism and sexism. During the fiesty debate, two British PMs got into a heated exchange which culminated in this epic zinger:

    Carmichael: “Having offered a state visit [to Trump] this time, what will we offer the next time we want to get a favorable response?”

    Salmond: “The crown jewels.”

    Sadly, watching Trump prance around London in gold, the joke doesn’t seem like much of a joke any longer.]

    http://addictinginfo.org/2017/04/15/trump-demands-queen-of-england-pick-him-up-in-gold-plated-carriage-organize-parade-during-visit/

    • Rasilom

      I would actually kind of like to see this along side a fundraiser to bus in about 50k Scotish trump protesters. The protest signs and verbal insults thrown would be biggly huuuge!

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I hope he takes the Lupine Express and meets some very nice chaps along the highway.

      • Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore dumdumdum the night! Dennis Moore Dennis Moore dumdumdumdumdum.

      • Rasilom

        Denis Moore Denis Moore riding through the land….

    • Little Doll–MOAMF

      And the Queen thought she hated Bush Jr.

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      Yes Cinderella, you will go to the ball!

    • MilwaukeeKent

      The man is insane.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      What an asshat!

  • Panika MCD

    okay, since Chase Bank did naughty things to my credit history (they removed my overdraft protection and have continued fucking up my credit rating over $10 that they already had because they owe me like $260 from the same account), I have to do all this online stuff with gift cards. I just got one of those today so I can pay my electric bill and submit poems to contests, so I will not even purchase a new mug from you, I will just give you moneys.

    now, who’s yr most favorite Texplainer in the non-comments ever?

  • HazooToo

    100% superfan. Signed up for ad-free, don’t intend to cancel it, ever. Even if I go mad one day and tear the internet out by the roots. You guys can keep it.

  • TJ Barke

    I done tried to donate $50 bucks, but for some reason every time I went through the amazon pay thing it just reset to $10 dollars. So… I guess I can only send $10 this month…

  • Truck Fump

    I ordered the Recurring for a low low rate. I hope to upgrade one day. Five stars, really like.

  • ProudWesternPatriot

    Dao proved why we should have dumped more Agent Orange onto that country and wiped those savages off the earth forever.

    • TJ Barke

      Hey look, it’s probably TLM.

      • Oh, he wishes!

      • Suse

        You got it!

        • TJ Barke

          I’m sad how easily I recognized him…

      • Mary Sandoras

        Looking for buttsechs?

        • TJ Barke

          Is he ever not?

        • Suse

          Butt of course!

    • The Witch of Endor

      Try harder.

    • Rasilom

      Hmmm, we never dumped agent orange on Korea. That was Vietnam. Go try and do some history reading if the words aint to biggly for ya you idget.

      • ProudWesternPatriot

        Dao was born in Vietnam.

        • Rasilom

          Ah thought you were talking about the NK thing. That being said you are still a tedious shit stain with no value to anyone but your self. Now why dont you just write us some of you Turgid Love Muscle porn we like so much.

    • Shucky Ducky

      I just heard that you’ve been stepping out with Brad behind my back. Just a memo to you: Brad is MINE, Bitch. Take a big step back… and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! I don’t know what kind of pan-pacific bullshit power play you’re trying to pull here, but Brad is my territory. So whatever you’re thinking, you’d better think again! Otherwise I’m gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an un-Godly fucking firestorm upon you! You’re gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I’m talking scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP!

    • The Wanderer

      Aren’t you just the most precious little snowflake. Are all of the Americans who are suffering from or have died from Agent Orange-associated cancers as deserving of their deaths as the Vietnamese?

    • MilwaukeeKent

      another precious snowflake whose comment history is private. I’d be ashamed of my words as well if I were you.

    • Shoto

      Don’t tell me, let me guess:

      You skipped your Thorazine this morning, right?

  • ProudWesternPatriot

    If you watched the video from the United flight and were “appalled,” that means you give a shit about an old gook who sells drugs for sex. Have sympathy for real WHITE Americans who get victimized.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      You are very strange. And wierd. And also too, tedious.

    • HazooToo
    • Suse
    • Nightcrawler

      Troll, troll, troll your boat, gently down the stream…

    • Shanzgood

      Needs moar screaming buttsechs

    • TJ Barke
      • Shanzgood

        I like this.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit
    • TJ Barke

      Is it hard to find other gay nazis?

      • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

        Surprisingly, not at all.

        • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

          Hey, don’t judge. It can get lonely, down in those bunkers.

          • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

            No need to judge what goes on between two consenting fascists in a private bunker with a suicide pact.

        • TJ Barke

          That’s so weird… Why subscribe to an ideology that wants to exterminate you?

          • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

            I wonder the same thing about “Women for___” 45.

    • Jenny

      No thanks.

    • Mary Sandoras

      Who let this troll out of the basement and access his moms computer?

    • The Wanderer

      I like you. Such fresh, unalloyed stupidity is something one rarely finds.

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        You don’t spend much time reading Breitbart comments, do you? About as rare as loose stools after a chili eating contest over there…

        • The Wanderer

          I never go near Breitbart, for much the same reason that I avoid pederasty sites.

        • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

          People actually READ at Breitbart? I thought it was just a lot of knuckle dragging and computer assisted hate-sex.

          • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

            Some of them appear to be semi-literate, yes…

          • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

            Appearances can be deceiving. They may get content, but context will always elude them.

          • Mary Sandoras

            I put on my hazmat suit and went over there today. A lot of infighting going on. I admit it, I like the sight of the alt right cannibalizing each other.

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      You mean, like Hillary Clinton winning everything except the electoral college?

      • ProudWesternPatriot

        Whites voted for Trump. Hillary won with the help of non-whites.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Well, cupcake, as a “real WHITE American,” I can tell you that the only time I’ve been victimized recently has been by you right-wing idiots voting for that dumpster fire.

    • Shoto

      Couple questions:

      1. Did your mommy have any children who were not born brain-dead?
      2. When you divorce your wife, will you still legally be brother and sister?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I hate random concern trolls what dive bombs the site and then run away. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0243da8ac1685c7a00b9dcf1823c807745ba2b56272ad5730f74a5e6d1e7cf6e.jpg

    • Dg Hacket

      Could you walk us through the logic and reasoning you used to arrive at that conclusion? Maybe you can convince some of us who are undecided to join your noble cause

  • BadKitty904

    OT: For no reason, other than it was used it a cool scene in Legion a week or so ago…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r30D3SW4OVw

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Love this. But since it is easter I will post this too:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZb7FcP84CM

    • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

      There never has to be a reason to either put up Ravel or any other song from Legion. Great soundtrack and my favorite The Who song.

      • BadKitty904

        I thought this piece as the background as that weirdo Oliver began to use his mutant powers to alter time and space was brilliant!

        • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

          The whole season was brilliant. I loved the use of Astronomy Domine and the not-so-subtle Syd Barrett nod.

          • BadKitty904

            lol My hubby beats me every time in catcing the series’ musical “Easter eggs”…

  • Bill D. Burger

    Fuck Trump…think of Elizabeth. Surely, she won’t ride with him.

    [4/15/17:
    White House demands carriage ride with the Queen when Trump visits the UK

    The Metropolitan Police plan to coordinate with the Secret Service, and any parade would have a high number of armed guards, the newspaper reported.

    Sources told The Times that Trump would only be fully safe if they closed off the entire area.

    That would be impossible, however, as the events are typically a major public showing, according to the newspaper. Instead, officials plans to put snipers throughout the route.

    Anticipating a strong showing of anti-Trump protesters, Scotland Yard’s threat assessment branch plans to coerce critics of the President from attending or at least posing a threat, The Times reported.

    The White House didn’t immediately return a request for comment, and the Secret Service declined to discuss security procedures for the trip. ]

    http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.3058886.1492276052!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_1200/epaselect-britain-royalty.jpg

    That Orange Shitgibbon and dumb fucker in that carriage. OMFG….NO!

    http://static2.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.3007165.1490303332!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_635_424/us-politics-trump-truckers.jpg

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      GROW UP, YOU FUCKING CHILD. THIS IS THE PRESIDENCY, NOT DISNEYLAND.

    • Panika MCD

      of course he would demand to be in the carriage, but QE2 ain’t going to let him close enough to grab her pussy. you don’t become the longest serving monarch in the UK’s history by getting into carriages with orange tsarinas with penises.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      The biggest horse’s ass in that procession, hands down, would be the one sitting next to the Queen.

    • Teecha

      I note that they’re not saying who the snipers will be aiming for…

    • Bill D. Burger

      The folk in London and around the country are absolutely furious over his plans to visit anyway, and THIS nugget of news has sent them over the edge. Security on both sides of the Atlantic is as nervous as hell. The Brits are up in arms already.

      • Little Doll–MOAMF

        Good! Since they’re trying to make it impossible for us to protest here, let him try to stop it there!

        I hope his fat ass is arrested before this trip. Jesus.

      • Claire

        The Queen can be our sovereign again if she dips him in raven chow and throws his orange ass in the Tower of London.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I’d like to know who the fuck he thinks he is demanding things from the Queen. Yes, he’s the “president” (FOR NOW, MOTHERFUCKER) but in polite society the head of state generally doesn’t DEMAND things like that, he either waits for the other party to offer, or drops a broad hint through a back channel. Of course we all know Dump is about as classy as one of those “solid gold” toilets he shits into.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      I believe the correct response is “Piss off, ya wanker!”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Oh, sure, Scotland Yard is going to be able to “coerce” anti-Donald demonstrators to not show up. Right. Gotcha.

  • Panika MCD

    I’ll give you guys a poetry assignment with dick jokes in it later, but for now: this is what’s been keeping me from doing anything else under my napowrimo challenges since last night (though not as funny as the letters one). and I’d thank you kindly for joining me in distration (Serai1 is exempted because I think that this falls under the “not your taste” category, but feel free to join anyhow):

    http://omniverse.us/poetry-felicia-zamora/

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    So how do I set up a recurring donation not through PayPal?

    • Suse

      Launder it through that Cyprus bank that all the cool Russian kids use?

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        Mexican kids with calves the size of canteloupes libels!!!!!!!

    • Sister the Resister

      I think you just have to mail a check?

  • Nightcrawler

    Hey look, on this Easter eve (is that a thing?) I found a decent church sign for once. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b790370345a8ab77e7489eaee1b22007936398aceec401a3d6d12780d19a4598.jpg

    • Suse

      Amen!

      • Rosannahpyle

        Managing director of Google!, is explaining to users to start off “Work at home” method, that People have been doing for about one year now. These days alone, I generated close to $36,000 until now with no more than my home computer as well as some spare time, despite that i have a fulltime 9 to 5 job. Even everyone not used to this, can make $89/per h easily and the earnings can go even higher over time… This is how i started
        !wr387c:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs387ReportWorld/GetPaid$97/Hour ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫:::!wr387u:……

      • Dolorespjefferies

        Managing director of Google!, is explaining to users to start off “Work at home” method, that People have been doing for about one year now. These days alone, I generated close to $36,000 until now with no more than my home computer as well as some spare time, despite that i have a fulltime 9 to 5 job. Even everyone not used to this, can make $89/per h easily and the earnings can go even higher over time… This is how i started
        !sr192c:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs482ShopSitesGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!sr192c:….,……

    • Claire

      Isn’t that the goddamn truth.

    • CeeQ

      A fucking men.

    • coozledad
    • Blackest Noobs
  • ZangoCrudmonger

    This is good and all, but there is a drinking potluck happening tonight at my place in Portland. Be brave show up and act like you belong here.. Anyway, there will be black women so just know ya’all can’t bring shite, but an appetizer is fine. I’m James, it’s my place, stop in. 5515 n williams. introduce yourself. edit 6pm https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4bec226568776a922c85a6ac36f5365e0d9e7456492cdd87b2aa41d7e1b9b772.jpg

    • TJ Barke

      You monster!

      • Rasilom

        Beat me to it by milliseconds!

      • Shucky Ducky

        NEEDZ MOARE CAPPS!!!1!!!1!

    • Shanzgood

      OMG YOU OPENED IT

      • ZangoCrudmonger

        I also too am drinking it. woot

      • Nightcrawler

        I feel like this can is dented and have a bad feeling about this.

        • ZangoCrudmonger

          Clams are in a dip, the juice? is now in my cocktail. Let’s pray for the healing powers of vodka.

          • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

            There’s not enough vodka.

    • Granny Sprinkles

      SOMEONE COULD DIE

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit
    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Not all black women. I don’t judge food. I pity. Not everyone gets good home training. I will judge your beer selection tho. Get shure.

    • BloviateMe

      Fun fact: the bottle of HRD in the background can also be used to strip paint, when you’re not drinking it.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Well fuck it since it’s easter. we all deserve a beautiful Matheus passion.

    This one is performed in the city I was born and the churched I was baptised.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXH1Jj1jIH8

  • Nightcrawler
  • Jeffocaster in the desert
  • Suse
  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    I am a fanatical reader and also too subscriber. Wonkette is getting my previously Bernie Bucks. Keep fighting the powers that be! #TheResistance

  • Panika MCD

    I’ve been thinking about changing my disqus name to “can’t spell manocide without MCD!” what says the peanuts in the gallery?

    • HazooToo

      I dissent.

      • Panika MCD

        por que?

        • HazooToo

          People changing things means I sometimes get caught in poe-traps. But that’s more a me-problem, really.

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      potential maximum number of letters issue?

    • The Witch of Endor

      I’m ashamed to admit to how many people I’ve lost track of because they changed their names. I’d prefer to be able to keep track of folks, but not at the expense of their artistic expression. I’ll muddle through whatever you decide so go with what you like. :)

      • Panika MCD

        I make sure I keep the picture. I am trying to figure out whether BloviateMe changed names or has gone missing.

        • Sister the Resister

          some of the avatars are kind of hard to see in small displays, so that doesn’t always work for me. Jus’ sayin’

        • The Witch of Endor

          I saw a comment from him/her a couple of minutes ago.

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        That’s why I keep the sw19 part in my name.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Just be sure to leave clues.

      • Panika MCD

        who else talks about nothing but the TX lege and poetry?

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Well, there is that.

  • Nick Scroggs
  • Msgr_MΩment

    Have we reached the dustheap of history yet? Cause I got a load I want to get rid of.

    • Shoto

      That happened during the years of Zombie Reagan, which means we should be getting pretty close to Middle Earth by now.

  • What do you want to bet the Wills & Kate take the kids on a family vacation in October?

    • Nightcrawler

      I misread this comment as “Will and Grace”.

    • Mary Sandoras

      I would think it’s in their best interest, because ewww Trump cooties.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Would you want your daughter near him?

  • Ian

    Honest question:

    I currently donate monthly, seriously best decision I’ve made. I encourage everyone to do so.

    I’d like to augment, in a sexxxy positive direction, my monthly donation.

    How does one go about that?

    • Left Coast Tom

      That’s a good question…I went to Members, Manage my Subscription…it had a list of directions that started with clicking Upgrade User Level – I did so, and had a prompt to “choose the level you wish to upgrade to” and an Upgrade button, but there was no UI control to actually choose a level.

      Firefox, on Mac OS X, if that helps.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        I just got through it with Chrome on Mac

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        Firefox on Mac is now super laggy.
        Sadly, I’ve been shifting over to Chrome.

    • Sister the Resister

      If you’re doing paypal, just set up a second recurring donation. I was already doing the $4.99 ad-fewer thing, then decided a couple more bux a month wouldn’t hurt me, so set up a second one. Easy peasy. Now that ad-fewer/ad-zero is for all of us, I’m going to rearrange things so I just have one donation a month, but in any case, the pay pal part is easy.

  • Nightcrawler
  • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

    Happy Nice Time on Twitter this weekend:

    https://twitter.com/TriggaVae/status/852611031423700993

    • Suse

      When she was little, my niece would not allow a photo of her to be taken without holding up a stick. Kids are weird.

    • BloviateMe

      Smart move. Don’t follow her instruction, and there could be a Cruciatus Curse in your future.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      That is what my son always wants to do. Pick up a stick and show it. I will photograph next time.

      • TundraGrifter

        There was a time in his life when our son had a World Class collection of sticks. Big time.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          I shall never speak of the Great Poohsticks Massacre to him. #neverforget

          • TundraGrifter

            Sold them to Ollivanders for cash money, huh?

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          And since I live at the beach shells are especially wonderous.

        • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

          I have a bigly collection of impromptu hiking sticks, picked up from when I head up the escarpment, arranged on a tree stump outside my cottage. Is that like the adult version?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Nice stick, girl.

    • TundraGrifter

      You don’t choose the stick.

      The stick chooses you.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Some police officer has shot their computer screen after seeing this tweet.

    • Dg Hacket

      This is my stick. There are many like it but this one is mine…

  • Mary Sandoras
  • Suse
    • Msgr_MΩment

      May I suggest….

      Cialis: for when you want to rise for three days, but don’t want to wait three days to rise.

      /have a Coke and a smile

  • When mama happy, erebody happy.

    Ameros on the way.

  • ProudWesternPatriot

    These are the people Democrats want to flood America with:

    http://shoebat.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/goatfuckers_thumb1.jpg

    • Mary Sandoras

      So, your not getting enough attention at home?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Your point? Other than the one on your hood.

    • Shoto

      Take your Thorazine and the voices should begin to quiet down.

    • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

      GO FUCK YOURSELF MORON

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        That’s “MORAN” ….

        • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

          The boldfaced cap A looks funny, though, lessens the impact.

      • Little Doll–MOAMF

        Still going, is he? I blocked his dumb ass over half an hour ago.

    • Suse

      If you’re going to continue dropping in and leaving your piles of shit, you had better sign up for monthly donations. You’ve been warned.

    • FDRliberal

      I would replace Nazi scumbags like yourself with moderate Muslim Americans in a heartbeart.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        The bigotry is strong when they think they don’t even need a justification or a demonization when they say we should condemn human beings.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Yes, exactly. They should be welcome here.

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      The widows and orphans of unauthorized air strikes?

    • Shoto

      When are you going to stop sniffing glue and paint thinner?

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        I mentally put an oxford comma in there, and made myself laugh about sniffing and painting thinner.
        Yes, I am sad.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Damnit. Is it arts and crafts hour again?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Proud Western Patriot?
      You mean like these guys?
      https://www.resistancemanual.org/images/6/69/RussiaConnection.jpg

      • Claire

        The word “patriot” has been co-opted. It means meth-head white supremacist on disability now.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Uncle Beauregard?
      Did your colostomy bag overfill again?
      Bless your little heart.

    • A_Changeling

      We want them in Europe too, but we can leave you some.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • WomanInThePersistence
    • BMW

      Oh noes, brown people.

      #SoScared

      • ProudWesternPatriot

        You wouldn’t care about letting in people who will be welfare recipients, because you don’t pay any taxes to begin with.

        • Shanzgood

          Would you hurry up and get to the gay porn already?

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          They won’t be on welfare; they’ll be a boon to the economy. They’re also much cheaper than dropping bombs on them.

          • ProudWesternPatriot

            Please provide evidence for that assertion.

            https://www.steynonline.com/7366/welfare-for-the-world

          • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

            Provide evidence for your assertion that we don’t pay taxes first. Asshole.

          • WomanInThePersistence
          • IOnlyLikeCats

            I wouldn’t have to if you had done your research before spewing nonsense (without any evidence for any of your assertions, btw). I’m not going to get held to double standards because of my gender, thanks.

          • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

            Provide evidence that you don’t fuck your mother all day long.

          • Alt-dog

            As if a Republican would be swayed by evidence.

          • Panika MCD
        • The Witch of Endor

          Dude, c’mon. Get with the gay pR0n!

        • BMW

          As my accountant, you should probably keep that to yourself.

        • Suse

          Neither does the Saffron Stalin.

        • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit
        • The Witch of Endor

          Shh!!!! Me and Trump share the same CPA.

        • Tokays_don’t_blink

          And herein lies the beauty of the protest-for-Sorosbucks system.

        • Panika MCD

          let’s not have refugees because then it would take some funding from lazy white people! (except that’s really not how budgets work. at all.)

        • Alt-dog

          You know who else doesn’t pay any taxes?

          • Sheepshagger

            A Cyprus based holding company that is partnered with a Belize chartered blind trust and holds multiple stakes in energy and arms sectors in the former soviet bloc?

          • therblig

            toothless white trash meth heads?

          • Doug Langley

            Most of our large corporations?

          • Tokays_don’t_blink

            But something something job creators!

          • Doug Langley

            Oh yeah, that’s right.

        • Stulexington

          Ooooh another projecting welfare queen, how droll.

        • Panika MCD
        • Claire

          Bubba Jay, the amount you pay in taxes from your $10-an-hour job at the auto parts store amounts to both jack and shit. Your tax money can’t even fix the potholes of the shithole you live in, let alone pay for anyone else’s welfare. We do that, because we’re not inadequate.

    • Will they make me Syrian chicken and rice? *puts out welcome mat*

      • Bmaccnm

        Goat stew? Cause I love goat stew.

        • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

          Curried goat or GTFO.

    • Sheepshagger

      Even for a racist shitbag that’s a weak troll.

      • Mary Sandoras

        0 stars, would not recommend.

        • Sheepshagger

          I mean are even the low standards of the right slipping? They usually try and get some bearded Isis types for this particular gambit, not a photo of some obviously distressed women and children. I suppose if you mainline race hate for long enough you end up on the uncut fentanyl of xenophobic rage.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            “Uncut Fentanyl of Xenophobic Rage” is the name of my acoustic folk band.

            We’re not very popular.

          • Sheepshagger

            My droll musician friend wanted to call his little side project “God, Fearing White Folk”. Punctuation is important.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Commas are the Best!

          • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

            Persistent Veggetative State Libels!

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        It played so well on test audiences!

        • Sheepshagger

          “So they’re black, right? And African- and mooselamb! It’s a sure fire winner, oh yes. Let’s just be really callous and heartless, that’s the ticket, yeah!”

    • The Witch of Endor

      And…?

    • Suse
      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        Gimme more mooslimbs any fuckin’ day!

        • Suse

          Yeah – I already lived next door to a bunch of these nincompoops for 10 years.

          • Sheepshagger

            Man you’d think the DEA wouldn’t let an oxy dealer run that long.

          • Suse

            They actually *were* meth heads. The local cops were there nearly every day.

          • Sheepshagger

            I am shocked. Shocked. Did you ever get your plumbing fixed?

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        Hey! That’s ProudWesternPatriot’s family reunion! (they’re cheering the fart lighting competition. It was close this year…but Aunt Beaulah won when Uncle Jim-Bob, pushed to the limits and shit all over the match.)

        • Suse

          lmao!

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent
    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
      • Suse

        Borned babbies, also, too.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        They hate anything that isn’t a worthless Shit-stoopid Straight white male.

        • Suse

          That’s it in a nutshell.

        • Claire

          Of course. They’re afraid they might have to compete on their own merits, and they know they haven’t got any. If they did, they wouldn’t be such failures.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Yep. If they were really brave strong men, they would face up to life’s challenges, and perhaps even welcome competition.

    • therblig

      the fashion challenged? oh my god, this will not stand. somebody call ivanka.

    • Panika MCD
      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        with votes.

    • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy
    • Claire

      Why not? Straight regression to the mean says every one of them has to be a better person than you are. They’d probably contribute more to the country, too.

      Poor righties, ‘fraid of women and children. You fucking pussies. This is the land of the free and the home of the brave, not the safe space for pants-wetters like you.

    • Chadwells

      I ain’t scared of no ghosts.

    • Vecchioivan

      Yeah, they look real scary all right . . .

    • tehbaddr

      So by Patriot, you mean racist, right?

      • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

        “Patriot” seems to generally mean un-American.

        • tehbaddr

          Now I are confused.

          • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

            So are they.

    • rebecca

      hi what’s up? What does this picture of these nice women have to do with the topic of this post, and why are you here exactly?

    • janecita

      Are those veiled ladies scaring you? Poor little “snowflake,” run to your “safe space” now!

    • Rasilom

      Uh, you mean the down trodden and poor?Like on the statue of liberty? Like your own fucking ancestors when they first got here? Really go fuck off. Then fuck off again. Then fuck off some more. Then keep fucking off till we cant see you anymore.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Cool, they seem a lot better than you. Maybe you could leave and make room for them?

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      You can always move!

    • Potential Americans

      You know the same prejudice was applied to Chinese, Irish, Germans, Italians, Philippinos, Jews, Poles, Puerto Ricans, Cubans, Vietnamese,

      Or to put it another way you’re an ignorant, bigotted wanker who over-rates your importance.

    • wait! what?

      Trookie (troll-rookie) move; you typed people. That means they are equal to you.

    • Mister Atoz

      Why do they scare you?

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      No worries. Your local Wal-Mart has plenty of parking.

  • FDRliberal

    When Trump “won”, fascist dirtbag “ProudWesternPatriot” and his anti-American pals celebrated in the distinctive style of their cult leader Trump – by urinating on one another.

  • Anna Elizabeth
  • Prof. T. Green Bastard

    Got somethin for the fuckin patriots in the house: https://youtu.be/2uYs0gJD-LE

  • tehbaddr

    Gonna Pony Up the only way I can, unless Wonkette want’s my electric cut off notice and notice of eviction/court date served thingy.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/623f05630db2829532fdd4c439b3db01be290e84b34f4199ccdc0cc49d9944fc.jpg

    Somebody should photochop Trump in that!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      This picture explains sooooo much.

      • tehbaddr

        ???

    • janecita

      I’m confused! Why is Stalin riding a nazi pony?

      • tehbaddr

        That is the fun point of it. Little Pony at the concentrations camps, sick. Lets add a swastika, extra sick! Now lets put Stalin on there instead of Adolf and see what people say, brilliant!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Stuck a fuhrer in our back
        And called it macaroni.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      This is wrong. You’re better than this.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I’m sorry your electric is getting cut off, and you’re getting evicted. That doesn’t sound like fun.

      • tehbaddr

        Not cut off yet, and I won’t be out on the street. I’ve a few bucks and tricks up my sleeve yet. The financial challenge will be next month if I have to deploy the moneys that are ear-marked for that rent.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I hope it works out!

  • Rick Hill

    Oh, you guys got a troll for Easter. Who’d you blow to get that?

  • Rick Hill
  • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

    An unusually languorous reading of this work; most recordings are in the 10 – 12 minute range.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioprS1CAlDI

    • Rick Hill

      I gave all my languorous reading to the boy scouts when they had their last paper drive

      • Sheepshagger

        Jesus Quintana?

  • FDRliberal

    Great to see the Resistance out in force today. Trump of course will likely file an extension this year to avoid showing his 2016 taxes. Is the illegitimate scumbag in his Saddam-style palace again this weekend, spending our money to finance his decadent lifestyle?

    https://twitter.com/taxmarch/status/853325996413644802

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Ayup, that fucker is at Mar A Lago AGAIN. The news just did a feature on him, and how it costs $3 million dollars for his little weekend getaways. It’s odd how the Tea Party isn’t bitching about his excessive vacation spending.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Those dumbasses were told to shut up about this because Ryan & McTurtle know any mention of this will get all that harping on Obama shoved down their throats.

  • Sheepshagger

    Hey if you have any books and five bucks Mosul has a brave soul doing his damn best to rebuild their slightly shopworn library. https://twitter.com/mosuleye/status/829836487382466560

    • The Witch of Endor

      I’ve donated most of my books to hospital libraries in the last couple of years. I’d love to participate, but the best of my collection are already gone.

    • The books in my library are my friends. I will send some of my friends to Mosul.

      Thanks for for heads up.

      • Sheepshagger

        Soul to save Sir.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Hope springs eternal! I keep thinking that Republicans are going to want to outlaw books in the near future.

  • Treg Brown
    • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

      Hi Treg! Kitty and I were wondering where you were.
      I kind of sort of wish I had gone down to Pershing Square today.

    • Alt-dog

      Those are awesome! Thanks for sharing. Loved the T-Rex.

      • Treg Brown

        My fave too!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Those are all excellent. I’m proud to belong to the group that has the spelling skills AND the humor, as opposed to the IdioTEA Party.

    • not_vh

      hey all, lets all play our fair share of taxes so that the rich oppressed blokes don’t have to, so that politicians can have healthcare.

  • Suse

    Proud Western Patriot anagram: Wiretappers Tutor Don. Coincidence? I think not.

    • The Witch of Endor

      That. Is. Inspired.

      • Suse

        I used an anagram generator, so I can’t take credit.

        • The Witch of Endor

          Even so…

  • Today in WTF!!!!!!!
    A Swiss band,
    singing about Anglesey (Wales)
    Style Metal
    with violin
    flute
    bagpipes
    and hurdy gurdy
    https://youtu.be/iijKLHCQw5o

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      hurdy gurdy ftw!

  • Suse
    • gene108

      I wonder if any Trump supporters got hit with pepper spray. One of the pictures of pepper spray shot looks like it is traveling over five feet, which makes me think perhaps people came to hurt others and not just had something in their pockets.

    • Nick Scroggs

      Then we swoop in and pick off the weakened victors of the conflict.

  • Rick Hill

    Well! I’m certainly glad that Russia is our bestie, now.
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/az8Zg0x_460s.jpg

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Home made pizza tonight. ‘shrooms, olives, italian cheese blend, home made sauce. maybe a jalapeno or two….no meat. So….comfort food. Why does these people act hateful and stupid? (rhetorical) I dunno……how are y’all fairing?

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Just chillin’ today. I get awfully tired of people after a week. :)

    • i had linguine in rose sauce with extra goat cheese, green peppercorn jack, and chorizo, topped with parm

    • gene108

      Orzo with mixed veggies in the fridge. I should eat it, but I really want to order out for a calzone.

      I just wish I was still in my 20’s or Bette yet, in my teens, when food did not make me fat.

      I remember, when I was 15, I scooped out a big bowl of strawberry ice cream from the freezer. One of my mom’s friends remarked how that much ice cream would just make her fat. I shrugged my shoulders, in that disinterested teenage way, and was like this doesn’t make me fat and I could eat more and still be skinny.

      She laughed and said wait till you are my age. I didn’t grok what she meant then, but damn have I learned that lesson the hard way now.

    • The Witch of Endor

      Angel hair pasta dressed in butter, garlic, fresh parmesan, dried basil & oregano, with fresh ground black peppercorns. Salad of romaine, sliced cucumber, red onion slices, and sun-dried tomatoes soaked in your red wine of choice with a sprinkle of parm and a sprinkle of mozzarella.

      I’m still arguing for being caught in some imbecile’s computer simulation.

  • Serai 1
    • life..uh…finds a way.

      • Serai 1

        A few years ago, I was very stoned and thinking about Jurassic Park, and came to the conclusion that if Jeff Goldblum had not been the one to breathe idiosyncratic life into Ian Malcom, my choice for the role would have been David Duchovny. He has just the right level of well-educated smartassery to pull it off.

        • i can see that disturbingly well

          • Serai 1

            On the make in the water droplet scene. And I can exactly hear him say, “That is one big pile of shit.” The role almost seems to have been written for him, the character’s tone is so close to his vibe.

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        Be afraid. Be very afraid.

        • Serai 1

          Get your purse, Mother, and I mean now!

    • Anna Elizabeth

      “You gotta try this! He feels like a chamois!”

    • The Witch of Endor

      Why is someone who looks like he might be Timothy Hutton latched onto Jeff Goldblum’s chest like a babby Alien?

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        Forget it Endor, it’s Jurassictown.

        • The Witch of Endor

          Not to be confused with New Zealandtown. But both will break your heart!

      • Serai 1

        That’s Sam Neill. Played Professor Grant in the film.

        • The Witch of Endor

          Thank you. :)

          • Serai 1

            And who, by the way, has been quoted saying of that .gif, “I think it’s horrifying.” (Which is snark, according to Graham Norton.)

    • William
    • Anna Elizabeth

      I read a review that described Ian Malcolm as “Jeff Goldblum at his most Goldbumingist”, but that review had obviously never seen Goldblum in his greatest role:

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2aefa933a67f61e892d5a4f2d07f50908628a47d5f604638d916ad22c8449670.jpg

      • Serai 1

        So true. That whole movie is a treasure. I was working at Dangerous Visions science fiction bookstore when it came out, and the owner and I decided it was the perfect sci-fi geek film, because it was loaded with puns and injokes and easter eggs that only sci-fi geeks would get. (BOOK geeks, tyvm.) I can still find things in there that I’ve never noticed before. And I still want to know why the fuck that watermelon was there.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          XD Me too, Serai. Also, I need to know what makes Perfect Tommy so perfect.

          The old “Battletech” tabletop game used to have Buckaroo and a unit called “Team Banzai”, but they had to tone it down lately. The implication was that Buckaroo and the band had time traveled to the 31st Century and thought giant mecha were awesome.

  • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

    Good news for Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru; also, Fremen on Arrakis, too!
    https://twitter.com/Cmdr_Hadfield/status/853225714627293185

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Thank dog. I was getting tired of sipping my own urine.

  • William
    • Left Coast Tom

      Please…Lapin

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Trump’s at Mar A Lago AGAIN this weekend. Trips to Mar A Lago cost $3 million a piece, and the Secret Service has spent around $200,000 protecting Uday and Qusay to travel abroad to try to grift expand their brand. I’m really getting irritated watching Trump piss tax payer dollars away.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    So has our troll left for the day? What a boring jackass that one was.

  • Occam’s 8 ball

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpXbgx4hnlc&t=1479s
    I hope an Assange hater or two watches this. I think he is a reasonable and ethical person, and is helping change society in positive ways.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    The zoo that was live-streaming video of April the pregnant giraffe had to take it down for a while, because “people” (probably Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum) were complaining that it was too sexual in nature. Keep in mind this wasn’t a video of giraffes fucking (which I would TOTALLY watch), it was a video of a pregnant giraffe standing around waiting to give birth. “Someone get me my smellin’ salts, this is highly arousing!”

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit
    • Anna Elizabeth

      That’s disturbing on so many levels.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Mike Huckabee was probably drooling at the thought of newborn giraffe BBQ.

    • Treg Brown

      “Keep in mind this wasn’t a video of giraffes fucking (which I would TOTALLY watch)”

      This is why you’re awesome.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I’m holding out for the bunny fucking a giraffe.

        • Sheepshagger

          The General Giap of porn stars.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          You sick, sick, pervert!

          Let me know when you find that one.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Thank you, my friend!

        //bows modestly

    • TJ Barke

      That’s disturbing.

    • Rick Hill

      They’re having naughty thoughts again, in their swimsuit areas…

    • Rick Hill
      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Giraffe porn: We glanced at each other across the park. I knew he would be mine I wagged my tail seductively at him. He feigned indifference, but he couldn’t resist my alluring ways. Then we did it like a couple of giraffes.

        • therblig

          no necking first?

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Slow golf clap.

            I’m still going to have to insist you show yourself out, though. Not because it was a bad joke, but just because I’m bitter that I didn’t think of it myself.

    • Sophia

      Sigh

    • HogeyeGrex
      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Remind me to never make out with a giraffe.

  • Anna Elizabeth
  • Nick Scroggs

    So, any news on Berkeley and what happened/ I heard that some Trump supporters were going on about “communists”, which has me thinking, is it less a ideological thing and more just wanting an enemy to kill?

    • TJ Barke

      These are people so braindead they think Eisenhower was a communist, so you tell me.

      • Nick Scroggs

        I have a professor at where i go to school, calls it “black hole communism”, and me, I’m thinking just, paranoia mixed with desires for combat and slaughter of “the other”, I guess.

    • Rick Hill

      What? Russia’s their bestest buds and everyone else is a commie? What is so hard to get about that?

    • Nick Scroggs

      Also, what is “Resist Capitalism”? B/c it’s on Google’s Twitter results, yet seems more pro-capitalism than the name implies.

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        “Resist Monetarism” didn’t do well in the focus groups.

        • Nick Scroggs

          Doesn’t answer my question, FYI.

          • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

            Capitalism is the best version of a market economy people have come up with to date. Primarily because the twin bugs of greed and fear are hardwired in as features.
            Most of those resisting it would shit their pants at the real-life implementation of any of the alternatives.

          • Nick Scroggs

            But who are “Resist Capitalism” anyway? The twitter feed, I mean.

        • gene108

          Isn’t resisting monetarism basically Keynesian economics, as in direct fiscal government spending in the economy to boost consumer demand?

          • Sheepshagger

            Splitter!

          • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

            *adjusts nerd glasses* When the economy needs a boost, yes. Precisely like wot Dubya did in 2008.
            Everyone becomes a keynesian after unfettered monetarist theory fucks things up.
            A bit like electing a Democrat to clean up the Republican mess.
            Rinse and repeat.

          • HogeyeGrex

            Everyone becomes a keynesian after unfettered monetarist theory fucks things up.

            Sadly, not everyone, if there’s a blah Democrat in the White House. See: the vote count for the recovery act.

      • Sheepshagger

        It’s sort of the French resistance of anti capitalism. More interested in looking good than, you know, resisting.

    • Treg Brown

      Nice pictures included. Looks like some Trumpites got the shit beat out of them by some “precious snowflakes”. Funny that.

      https://www.buzzfeed.com/davidmack/berkeley-trump-clashes?utm_term=.yooyMvAKA#.ej6p1G2E2

  • William

    Almost dinner time. What wine goes with pop-tarts?

  • Nick Scroggs
  • Rick Hill

    I wonder what these conservatives so worried about animal sex would do if they watched this:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ck14LKBI9GM

  • Serai 1
  • Sophia

    Trump’s Secret Service detail spending yet another weekend on the golf course.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v11sbnAr20

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    OK, so I tried to donate using Amazon (I thought I was already doing so with PayPal but my bank statement says otherwise), but Amazon is saying I need to set up an account with them. Tried to do that and it says there is already an account with my email and that I should log in. But at the top of the screen it says I am logged in.

    You’re logged in with your Amazon Account. Log out »
    An account is already registered with your email address. Please login.

    Tried logging out and logging back in and I get the same message. DAFUQ?

    AM I LOGGED IN OR NOT FFS?!?

    If anyone can help I would greatly appreciate it!

    • not_vh

      I dunno. for non-wonkette sites you might have to put pants on. worth a try imo.

    • Rick Hill

      Yeah. Ditch Amazon. They’re evil. Evil!!!!
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73IxEmUsMGY

      • Serai 1

        The wishlist feature is good way to keep a shopping list That’s a mighty handy thing to have, especially since they expanded it so you can add things from any shopping site.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Cally:

      I ditched all of it and went to the direct donation method. Amazon wouldn’t work, and PayPal is evvvvvviiillllll

      • not_vh

        for me amazon worked, earlier in the year.

        • The Witch of Endor

          Damn, I need to make sure that Paypal is still doing my monthly donation!

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      Clear your cache, close browser and re-open.

    • Sister the Resister

      schroedenger’s website

    • Rick Hill

      Also, saw that there’s an app that let’s you find out just how free that Amazon Prime two day shipping actually is

  • Ill_Used_Floppy_Disk

    Well, I’ve managed to send you 1/2 of my paltry refund from the Federales. Hope this helps.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Health violations at Mar A Lago have now been upgraded to “meets minimum standards.”

    • Rick Hill

      Upgraded to “you proly won’t get food poisoning”? Wow, how great is that?

    • WeaselPoo

      That makes sense–after all, minimum standards gave us the Trump Pee-Residency.

    • not_vh

      what more do expect for 200K/annum? home-cooked food and personal care?

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      No wonder Premier Xi did not stay there.

    • Left Coast Tom

      How many zeros get removed from the price for “minimum standards”?

  • Rick Hill
  • not_vh

    Death in Paradise (Netflix) is nice & simple and lowkey. Watched 3 episodes after lunch. I think I like it.

    • Rasilom

      I myself have been sucked into Orphan Black. Watched the entire first season yesterday. Weird and good

      • not_vh

        looked up wiki. sounds interesting.

      • Persistent Demme

        IMHO: that’s the best season.

    • cheetojeebus

      Yes, It’s a good tonic.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Update to tedious issue I mentioned below: I did a thing and fixed it. Can’t afford to give as much as I’d like but ponying up is the least I can do for my favorite website!

    • The Witch of Endor

      Honey, if there’s ever a person who deserves this site, it’s you.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Aw, I’m blushing!

  • Rick Hill

    So, is it acceptable to blame not getting anything done today on the 26 mph wind that’s been blowing all day? Brought in bad vibes from the midwest, I know it.

    • The Witch of Endor

      Please. I don’t even get out of bed for less than 40 mph. I live on the coast and that actually makes traffic signals sway in the breeze in really interesting ways.

      • Rick Hill

        Well, duh. If it’s the west coast, all that gets blown in are radioactive dust from what’s left of Seoul. Wait. What month is this? Sorry, forget this and reference it at the end of May

    • Sophia

      I’ve been known to not get anything done just for the hell of it. Any excuse will work.

      • Rick Hill

        One point in the day I had kind of an anxiety rush, had to be some mutated pollen blowing in.

    • akryan

      That’s 25mph more than it takes to not getting anything done all day.

  • Serai 1

    I’ve been reminded of this wonderful movie wot I had not visuated in quite some time. Clearly I’ve some giffing to do.

    https://grizzlybomb.files.wordpress.com/2016/06/lithgow-buckaroo-1984.gif

    LAUGH WHILE YOU CAN, MONKEYBOY.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    BTW, marching is fucking exhausting. I was going to do cardio and arms day after the Tax March, which I figured would be no problem since the march and rally only lasted three hours.

    Ha! I’m fucking exhausted and will have to force myself to do at least the arms day portion of the workout. Gotta stay strong for the resistance!

    • The Witch of Endor

      Just remember that muscle fatigue is a thing and eat accordingly. *hugs*

    • Persistent Demme

      Yep.
      Just got back from the San Francisco march, which was looooooong.
      No squats for me!
      I’m sweaty and exhausted!
      (Do you know where to look for crowd size estimates?)

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        No idea, honey. The LAT says several thousand marchers were at the Los Angeles one, which tells me we were at least 10K strong. Thanks for representing in NorCal!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Uh oh! Kim is gonna’ be pissed now! Heads gonna’ roll for this humiliation…..
    [BREAKING
    North Korea attempts to launch ballistic missile

    North Korea appears to have tried to launch a ballistic missile, but the launch ended in failure, the South’s military says, just a day after the country staged a massive military parade to mark its founder’s birth anniversary. (more)
    FOR LIVE UPDATES: Twitter, Facebook

    South Korea’s Joint Chiefs of Staff (JCS) said on early Sunday morning that it had detected a failed missile launch from a site near the port city of Sinpo in South Hamgyong Province. Other details about the test were not immediately available.]

    http://bnonews.com/news/index.php/mobile/id5822

    http://i.imgur.com/F10mX6S.gif

  • Sophia
    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      onion ninjas.

    • William

      I just got diabetes from watching that.

  • not_vh

    OT. hilarious. visuals more than enough to get the joke.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEEBk9IKIeM

    • Serai 1

      HA!! Did NOT see that coming!

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Perfect Tommy: Emilio Lizardo. Wasn’t he on TV once?
    Buckaroo Banzai: You’re thinking of Mr. Wizard.
    Reno: Emilio Lizardo is a top scientist, dummkopf.
    Perfect Tommy: So was Mr. Wizard.

    • The Witch of Endor

      Perfect Tommy: Don’t embarrass us.
      Buckaroo Banzai: Have I ever?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        XD

  • Sophia
  • Nick Scroggs

    I read some stuff on the Berkeley situation, and the guys online arming up for war against protesters “in self defense”, and as I think about how similar it is to people expressing
    heir support for the Kent State shootings and Hard Hat Riots, I wonder,
    are humans just deeply wanting to kill each other or something? I don’t know what else to say, but the pounding of drums, the calls to self
    defense against “the other’ who must be beaten and shot into a pulp and have their blood run in the streets for a better America. It all has me wondering, will we survive this time? Humans have survived a number of near-countless wars and conflicts in history, often over the most petty and selfish things, but I frankly don’t know about this. A small group of armed Trumpers, and a small group of antifa black bloc attackers, and pretty soon everyone gets sucked into it, and you have to choose a side. Both sides use to say “Hey, these guys want to kill us all, let’s kill them first!” Time might be predetermined, or a completely open book that writes itself randomly as it goes along, but this just seems the way things are going regardless.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      IMHO, I think the right wing and hate radio have been conditioning a large segment of the American populace for hate and fear for almost 3 decades. I think those chickens are about to come home to roost.

    • Left Coast Tom

      I read the Perlstein thing…and it really struck me as a bunch of parental-unit-basement-dwellers posting shit on the internet, and the “concerned conservatives” actually being the same jackasses whose blogs deliberately inflame the basement-dwelling morons.

      So…those “concerned conservatives” think liberals have a responsibility to tell anarchists, who aren’t liberals, to “still” themselves, less the basement dwellers…do…what, exactly? Jizz themselves in their ammosexual fantasies?

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      This is one reason why I am selective about which protests I attend, and I never troll the ones on their side. I don’t trust my bad temper not to get the best of me if I am provoked by one of the trolls IRL FFS.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    And dogs. They also have super sweet dogs. Feed the dogs, tuppence a bag. DO. IT.

  • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit
    • Sister the Resister

      Is THAT what that’s been all these years. Once again: Wonkette, so educational!

    • BloviateMe

      So, I should be saying “gesundheit” to the Mrs instead of giggling?

  • Nounverb911
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Read that. The TrumpPenceZees seem to think that they are amusing or something when they are just being assholes…much like their POTUS.

      Also too, I sure am glad these assholes weren’t at the Los Angeles Tax March (unless they were, and I didn’t see them because they were drowned out by a wave of loyal patriots against Donald FFS!)

    • HogeyeGrex
  • Nounverb911

    Jackie Robinson statue unveiled at Dodger Stadium today.
    https://twitter.com/espn/status/853389823926829056

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Excellent. :)

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Why is Jackie playing air guitar while duck walking?

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I heard that this was going to happen on the radio yesterday. This is good for my adopted city!

    • TJ Barke

      Racist vandalism in 3, 2…

    • Yr. Gma

      I need to take my grandson to see this. He’s a big baseball fan, and he wrote a report for school about Jackie Robinson.

  • h4rr4r

    The Nazi who came up with pizzagate now claims he has kompromat on GOP officals and will release it if President Bannon is removed.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Said this elsewhere, but I’d be more excited about that possibility if that Nazi weren’t a date-rape apologist FFS.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Which Nazi is that? There are so many to choose from …

      • h4rr4r

        Mike Cernovich.
        Which is a rather unfortunate last name for a Nazi. Sounds kind of Slavic.

  • Up In Smoke O’hontas

    I found $10 in my laundry today! Guess which Editrix is gettin’ the nice canned clams tonight!

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Lucky MONSTER!

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        It’s worth the extra shipping just to send them direct, don’t you think?

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          Yeah, you could shell out the bucks for that.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Right. Don’t be shellfish.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            Are musseling in on this thread?

          • Martini Ambassador 🍸

            Would it krill ya to stop the puns?

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            We can’t shrimp out now.

          • Martini Ambassador 🍸

            Oy(ster)! Not again!

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Yeah, well, when you’re famous, they let you do it, you can do anything, just grab em by the octopussy.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Those clams we don’t like?

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
  • Upsetti Spaghetti

    Will wonkette go broke?

  • Upsetti Spaghetti

    These twisted boffins are putting all our lives at risk by tampering in things our Lord Jesus never intended us to know about. He gave life on Earth in His Divine image and any creatures on this evil, failed world would bring nothing but misery for us all. We should destroy them now before it is too late.

  • WeaselPoo

    According to the Times, the president’s daughter has been making a case for Bannon’s removal to her father “in the strongest terms.”
    “Ms. Trump has never been close to Mr. Bannon, although she appreciated the ferocity of his work. She puts him in the category of colorful, rough-hewed characters her father collects, with the likes of Roger Stone, a longtime Trump operative,” the Times said.

    Bannon and Stone are “colorful rough-hewed characters”?!! And I suppose Himmler was a salt of the earth farmer with a surprisingly elegant fashion sense and a passionate amateur sociologist?

    Ivanka Trump reportedly sees one of her roles in the White House is to serve as a protector of the family brand. Throughout the campaign and since her father’s inauguration, she has reportedly worried that the ultraconservative Bannon — with his failed Muslim ban and repeated attacks on her husband by Breitbart.com — will damage the Trump brand.

    Presumably Trump Airlines, Casinos, Steaks, Vodka, “University”, PussyGrabGate, “Lock Her Up—(Just kidding!) ‘TrumpCare’, “what happened in Sweden”, Frederick Douglass who we are hearing more and more about”, Flynn resignation, Obama “wire tapp”, useless Yemen raid, useless Syria retaliation, “Lincoln was a Republican?!” hasn’t done any damage at all to the Trump brand, according to ‘ Senior Adviser” Ivanka.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Ivanka Trump reportedly sees one of her roles in the White House is to serve as a protector of her inheritance and businesses.

      /fixed
      /FFS

    • Shoto

      If Drumpf does throw Bannon out of the White House, the wingnut Breitbart crew will turn on him, which is perfectly fine by me. What I find more interesting is the problem this would create for the $Billionaire Crackpot Mercers. They’ve sunk $Millions into Breitbart, and presumably want it to remain viable. However, they do not wish to lose their access to the White House in the process.

      Tis a conundrum. Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch, amirite?

      • Little Doll–MOAMF

        Snakes to the left of you, snakes to the right–which one to try to grab onto? Decisions, decisions…

      • WeaselPoo

        Great point.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Looks like Bannon’s gonna have to marry Tiffany ASAP if he wants to keep his phony baloney job.

  • Upsetti Spaghetti

    Has reality kills been around recently? I miss the little dude

  • The Witch of Endor
    • not_vh

      and the doggy’s wagging his tail all along.

      • The Witch of Endor

        IK,R? But that ending! Holy fuck!!!!

    • BloviateMe

      That’s amazing.

      Our cat does that between the legs thing to me, unsolicited, but that’s because she’s trying to trip/kill me. Murderous beast.

      • Sophia

        Mine loves to do that on the stairs.

      • Sister the Resister
        • BloviateMe

          That’s good stuff, right there.

          • Sister the Resister

            Well, it’s kept ME alive, in any case! Know your cute fuzzy enemy, right?

        • The Witch of Endor
          • Sister the Resister

            Yeah, I thought of that gem too.

            At work, I created a notebook full of printouts of Dave Barry columns, funny non-political cartoons (‘cuz Work), and many cat related items. A version of that one is part of the book, as is “How to Give a Cat a Pill.”

            How To Give a Cat a Pill

            1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

            2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

            3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

            4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

            5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

            6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

            7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

            8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

            9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

            10) Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

            11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss-back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

            12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve the f—— cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

            13) Tie the little bastard’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

            14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

            15) Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

            *****
            How to Give A Dog A Pill:

            1) Wrap it in a piece of cheese.

          • The Witch of Endor

            This is definitely getting saved!

    • Shoto

      She spent many hours training this doggy. Too cool.

  • Upsetti Spaghetti

    It’s hi.gh time that prisons were ab.olished as they have no place in the 21st century. Merely holding a person in a confined place for years does no good to them, and is pointless really. Why keep someone in jail when you could put them on an intense re-training program and they could be fit to be released back into the community in six months max? Besides which, prisons are not safe places for people who aren’t cis straight white men. Myself for instance, as an openly bi.sexual man, would feel threatened in such a place. Time they get closed down.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Not until after Trump and his fucking minions have served their sentences.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Treason is a capital offence, I’m pretty sure.

        • TJ Barke

          Depends on the severity.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Actually it can take years longer than that in places that employ the method. Germany has moved away from it now (even though legally that’s still technically their system) but that’s been very clear in every place that’s used it (most notably, Scandinavia). Otherwise, what you said is not entirely off.

    • Shoto

      I’ve got just the place for you. I’m sure you’ll feel right at home there.

      https://www.bop.gov/locations/institutions/flm/

    • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy
  • Sophia

    When you really want that Happy Meal

    8-Year-Old Casually Learns How to Drive on YouTube So He Can Hit Up the McDonald’s Drive-Thru

    http://time.com/4739181/8-year-old-mcdonalds-drive-thru-ohio/?xid=homepage

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I’ve had many nightmares about driving. In my dreams, I’ve gotten pretty good at it though.

      • Sophia

        Apparently all you need to do is watch some You Tube videos.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Also, I didn’t get a photo of it, but thank you to whoever left this sign at the Los Angeles TaxMarch for me:

    It’s the
    Russians
    Stupid

    Zing!

    • Panika MCD

      nice! I missed the tax march and my friend Austin gave a great speech. he’s awesome young lawyer who’s doing constitutional law and has a giant babby and lovely wife. we should get him to run for something.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        I skipped the Tax March because I am going to next weekend’s Science March. Which should also be huge as is also too international.

        • Panika MCD

          I am also too hoping to go to that!

    • Persistent Demme
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    This is interesting and infuriating:

    https://twitter.com/solusnan1/status/853264497846480896

    BBL–I think my rage will give me energy for that workout after all!

    • Michael R


      I found some info on this in a story which is a month old …

      ( March 11 2017 )

      http://www.thedailybeast.com/cheats/2017/03/11/flynn-paid-ex-fbi-agent-in-clinton-email-scandal-for-lobbying-work.html?via=desktop&source=copyurl

      Flynn Intel also paid $20,000 to a behavior analysis firm operated by two former FBI agents, as well as another $7,500 to Rear Admiral Paul Becker, according to foreign agent disclosure reports cited by The Daily Caller. It was not clear what services he purchased, but the payments were all made as part of Flynn Intel’s lobbying work for Inovo BV, owned and operated by a businessman with ties to the Turkish government. Flynn filed the disclosure reports earlier this week after registering as a foreign agent with the Justice Department. He was fired from the White House last month amid scandal over his contacts with the Russian ambassador to the U.S.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Man, was that only a month ago? Wow. It feels like forever ago.

  • Upsetti Spaghetti

    I have to admit, that I have stiffed a few removal people over the years. I normally hire removal people to help move mainly DJ equipment, PA systems and lighting equipment to my vegan restaurant when we host really big events. Normally our smaller weekly events don’t require the same amount of gear. The bill normally runs into the £200-£300 region, but sometimes I just really hate the thought of paying that much money to simply move things, and luckily most removal people are Brexit voting idiots so it’s easy to confuse them and get off without paying them. Given their worldviews, it means I can sleep easy at night, and spend their fee on some awesome New Balance trainers signed by the DJ legend that is Breakbot himself!

  • Left Coast Tom

    California Poppies starting to come out in the East Bay Hills. It should be awesome in a couple weeks or so.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/606752e25c908b288a805fb791a0afc717e572c5f65b4850a320b016bf64b274.jpg

    • Anna Elizabeth

      How lovely! :)

    • Suse

      Along with lots of mustard and almond trees!

  • Suse
    • Jamoche

      “Neener neener we dropped a big bomb and you didn’t”

      • Suse

        Who will make the statement? There’s nobody home.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Per usual, a tweet or 20.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    How does Putin feel about poutine?

    • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

      I always wondered if Putin = Poutine or Putain.

  • Jennifer R
    • TJ Barke

      Fun fact, norks is british slang for tits.
      Also, this is not great…

      • Suse

        Norks? I thought I knew most Brit slang. ;-)

        • TJ Barke

          It might be a little out of date.

          • vivian

            Me too. Haven’t had a date in years.

      • Jennifer R

        Not surprised the conservative guy uses slurs.

      • not_vh

        such boobs.

    • Suse

      I posted CNN story below. Don is off golfing and eating chocolate cake.

    • RobKanC

      Oh boy. A land war in Asia. Could this be the year of Korean unification.

      • therblig

        inconceivable!

    • Rick Hill

      Oh, yeah. Warning missile shot. The Navy never takes those too seriously

    • Doug Langley

      “I meant to do that.”

  • Suse
    • Anna Elizabeth

      That’s beautiful! :D I’m envious!

    • BloviateMe

      The cherry trees here in Salem were in full bloom about the time a wind storm came. Wiped out a bunch of the flowers. Sucked.

      • Suse

        :-(

      • Serai 1

        That’s the nature of cherry blossoms. Their ephemeral quality is the key to their beauty.

  • Upsetti Spaghetti

    Ladies, if you are currently dating a man who openly supports or has voted for either Brexit or UKIP I would highly advise that you call it off now. Studies has shown that men with such leanings tend to be highly volatile in their temperament, and this manifests itself in violence towards women. Just remember, you don’t have to tolerate these low life Brexit types, there is plenty more good honest and non-violent men out there. Educate yourselves in feminist literature and stand up for yourselves.

  • msanthropesmr
  • msanthropesmr
    • Anna Elizabeth

      This look delish!

    • Rick Hill

      Did Beany eat half the plate?

    • Suse

      I could live on guacamole and warm tortillas.

  • Sophia
  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    Well, shit, never knew I was part of any 1%. That’s something (and, yes, I do give teh Wonket moneys every month, so there.)

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      It is the 1% we can be proud to be a part of.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      If all of us gave 1%, Wonkette would float very well.

    • yyyaz

      I’m very close to 1% of my annual gross, but as long as the missus and yyyaz jr. are with me I’m good.

  • Upsetti Spaghetti

    Sometimes, when I lose my train of thought, I have to use a replacement bus service.

  • Nounverb911
    • The Wanderer

      Ouch.

    • RobKanC

      Omg. That’s the most brutal thing in the internet. Savage!!

  • Upsetti Spaghetti

    Like all reasonable, well balanced people I hate all Muslims, except for the ones that I have met and who seem fine

  • HazooToo

    Another reminder: The chicken or the roasted spags or whatever the hell it’s calling itself IS NOT OURS TO PLAY WIZ. It belongs to DOK or SHY. They want to deal with it themselves. They have claimed it’s skin. Please flag and block it, without comment, every time it pokes it’s head in. Do not engage.

    • Upsetti Spaghetti

      Hello

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Spaghetti-Os needs him some Jesus, as we say in the Shire. On Easter Eve, that should be easy to find.

      • Upsetti Spaghetti

        It’s already Easter here

      • Suse

        Something tells me Jesus would kick him to the curb.

    • Yr. Gma

      Yep. I think I have an entire page of my blocks dedicated to spags and all his names.

    • Suse

      Dear God – it thinks it’s Rodney Dangerfield!

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Well I certainly have no respect for it.

    • wait! what?
    • Shanzgood

      I can’t block it so…does that mean it’s already been banhammered?

      • HazooToo

        Hope so!

  • Nounverb911
  • Upsetti Spaghetti

    You’re supposed to exorcise not exercise your demons, I know that now.

  • Upsetti Spaghetti

    As a child, I was forced to walk the plank. We couldn’t afford a dog.

  • Me not sure

    Pony up day is the same day as tax day? Who knew? Uncle Sam will just have to wait.

  • Panika MCD

    more poetry readin’ homework? YES MORE POETRY READIN’ HOMEWORK. you will read the poetic dick jokes and you WILL LIKE the poetic dick jokes!

    https://allpoetry.com/Signior-Dildo

  • Upsetti Spaghetti

    Was following a lorry that had a “How’s my driving?” sticker. By the time I had finished dialing the number, I crashed into a wall.

  • Upsetti Spaghetti

    All McDonald’s are drive thrus if you’re determined enough.

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    After spending all day going to the wrecker yard and towing my car cross town to my brother’s house, through the fucked up no I-85 mess that is Atlanta traffic, I ordered delivery. So no exciting food pics from me tonight. I am watching The Crow II and drinking a beer with my meal. Excitement? I’ve had my fill for the week.

    • Suse

      I think I’m making pasta with Italian sausage, but not sure. Right now I’m having vino and roasted pecans.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Supermarket pizza for me. With stuff on it. I’m not feeling ambitious.

    • Anna Rompage

      I’m currently at the taqueria picking up dinner.

      Too bad I couldn’t have just walked out to the corner, and hit up a taco truck!

      • Yr. Gma

        That is the tragedy of all this. No taco truck.

  • Nounverb911

    Trump trip to London to see the Queen.

    https://twitter.com/AnnTelnaes/status/853239450804961280

  • Doug Langley

    OMG!!! WWIII has just started!! We’re all gonna die! WE’RE ALL GONNA –

    Oh, wait.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/15/world/asia/north-korea-missiles-pyongyang-kim-jong-un.html?_r=0

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Yeah, I’m still digging.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      What are the chances we actually have intel video of the test?

      • Mary Sandoras

        We should, I just read we were watching their activities by satellite.

  • Nounverb911

    Maxine Waters attended one of the marches….
    https://twitter.com/CaliforniaTrenz/status/853404826302124032

    • Suse

      Bad Ass Maxine!

  • Suse

    Mattis just acknowledged NK missile launch fail and said there will be no further comment.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      No need to worry, we will be safe. /VP Pence will arrive in SK within hours.

      • Suse

        Wifey is with him, so there’s no chance of dining and drinking with a loose woman.

    • jesterpunk

      He woke up long enough to comment?

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    The Homer Simpson theory of international affairs

    It’s hard to know what is the most stupefying thing about this. Is it that Trump thought North Korea was “easy” and after 10 minutes of explanation realized he had that wrong? Is it that Trump is apparently as impressionable as a kindergartner? Is it that Trump actually spent 10 minutes patiently listening to someone else talk? I’ll go with: the man elected president of the United States thought this anecdote would make him appear smart.

    Whatever the answer, we do know one thing: Trump’s remains a cripplingly insecure man-child.

  • Picabo
    • Jenny

      Moar wild fires!

      • Suse

        Please don’t say that!

        • Jenny

          That’s how it happens in Texas. Moar flowers, moar fires.

          • Yr. Gma

            Kind of happens that way, here, too. Sadly.

          • Suse

            I know, but…

        • Serai 1

          Our state evolved to make use of wildfires. It’s human arrogance that kept us from accepting that and building around it.

    • Suse

      Yes – the torrential rainstorms have helped bring them back after years of drought. It’s really nice seeing them again.

      • Yr. Gma

        The deserts are gorgeous, I hear. I need to take a drive before the wild flower season is over.

  • II Gosala

    Ya know what Beccers? I have no monies to give; I barely make it from week to week.. Yelling at me will not change that.

    Ya know what it will change? My participation.

    If that’s what you want, say so and I will learn, somehow, to stay away.

    Is that what you want?

    • Suse

      Don’t be silly. She always says not to send money if you can’t afford it.

      • II Gosala

        She didn’t this time. And frankly I’m tired of being yelled at.

        • Suse

          Well, then, you know what to do…

          • II Gosala

            Meaning?

        • vivian

          I’m pretty sure the post was addressed to you personally.

          • Rick Hill

            Whew! I thought she was yellin at me!

          • II Gosala

            Fuck you.

          • vivian

            No thanks.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          You get a pass if you never ever once not even once complained or yelled about the ads. Otherwise, well…

          • II Gosala

            Look at my history.. do you see such a complaint…?

            STFU

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            Well then you get a pass. And I seriously I have better things to do than review your history. I’m happy to take your word for it. In the meantime, maybe you should not read the posts that make you rage, or better yet go find some other site to exploit because you’re too cheap to send five bucks once in a while. (And yes I also have a very low income; I just skip candy bars for a couple of days so I can shoot some money at this wonderful website.)

          • II Gosala

            Ya know what? On second thought…FU

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            Flagged and blocked.

        • The Witch of Endor

          That’s your choice. It would be great if Trix didn’t have to do the money begging, but the reality is that she does. You can chose to accept that this isn’t a personal attack or not. The bottom line is money posts are a fact of life. How many times do you need to be exempted from it in order not to feel as if it’s directed at you? I’m not deliberately trying to be a bitch, but what should they do instead?

          • II Gosala

            It needs to be pitched as not an exemption. An exemption presupposes that the ability to give is normative. Providing an exemption is marginalizing.

            I never said it was a personal attack. Others have interpreted my remarks that way. Why, I cannot imagine except as a way of dismissing my critique.

          • The Witch of Endor

            Please give an example of what you see as an acceptable way to ask people who can pay for a service to do so that doesn’t denigrate those who can’t.

            Also too, It seems to me that your original complaint was that the exception WASN’T spelled out in this post. You’ve also implied that previous posts were out of line for acknowledging (fuck that, DEMANDING) that those who can’t pay shouldn’t.

            Please pick a side and stick to it.

          • II Gosala

            It is not my responsibility to give an example anymore than it is the responsibility of black folk, or women folk, or folk with disabilities to tell the dominant culture how they should say anything.

            If we are willing, then we can point out how language and behavior marginalizes us, but that is something we choose to do, but something that can be demanded of us.

            It is for the majority to come to terms with their voiced principles, to confront themselves with the disconnect with what they profess and what they say and do.

          • The Witch of Endor
      • Yr. Gma

        Yes, every time, it’s right there “don’t money us if you can’t afford it.” The entire Wonkette family knows that some are able to give and some aren’t. I think maybe Trix is just reminding the ones who can afford to that sending a couple of bucks is a necessary thing (in order to keep us ad free.)

    • Mary Sandoras

      It’s just snark, not personal. I understand when your struggling it tends to sting because it brings your struggle to the forefront.

      • II Gosala

        Yes! But it’s not to me that it needs to be brought to the forefront. I live with it everyday.

        It is to the people who are oblivious, whom that their experience is normative that it needs to be brought to the forefront.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Friend, if you can’t give, don’t. No one here wants you in a bad position to be in a better one themselves. We’re liberals here, remember?

      • II Gosala

        Yeah, liberals, who routinely let their experience be normative and then make exceptions for people who don’t quite measure up but can be excused and denigrate people who don’t measure up but can’t be excused (witness: the relentless denigrating of white people with little education, poor dental hygiene and funny accents).

        Liberals really need to think about two things

        1. From Catholic social justice work: God’s preferential option for the poor, to wit; it is not the mainstream, majority, prosperous experience that should be central to social justice thought but rather the experience of the poor, tbe marginalized, the vulnerable.

        2. Really tbe same point but from a secular point of view: can we stop normalizing the experience of the week to do and recognize that there are many, many, many people who are not well to do. Can we put that fact at the center of our thinking rather than making them (us) an afterthought for whom we make oh such generous accommodations?

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I am not well to do. I fucking work at a grocery store. And I’m seriously over this. I have never denigrated you. Nor has any other person here. Yes, I’m sorry that you are going through a stressful time. Every person here has probably done so, I know I have. But to imply that people are putting you down? That, my friend, is bullshit. And I’m done with this.

          • II Gosala

            You are trying to make this a personal issue, and therefore a matter of my character or my having a stressful period in my life.

            It is not. It is structural. It is to do with assumptions about who is normal and who needs a “pass.”

            It is to do with the unexamined assumptions that all of us carry around. And just because you work like a dog at a grocery store doesn’t mean you have figured that out.

            OK. You’re “over it.” All that means is that you’ve given up and accepted the hideous way that things are.

            May God have mercy upon your soul.

          • The Witch of Endor

            And all you’ve done is complain. Give us at least one alternative that might be acceptable to you that still allows ‘Trix & Co., to get paid for services rendered.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Seriously, what is up with this person? I’m a little irritated, to say the least.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Well, this formerly dirt-poor white person with a funny accent was only trying to let you know that no one here wants anything from you that you aren’t able to give. Have a good day.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            You are a kind person. I finally blocked this one.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Thanks, sweet lady. I have had a few strange run-ins here this week. Been kind of odd. Hey, Happy Easter!! Have a fantastic weekend. Hope it’s a long weekend for you.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Not so much. But it’s all good. Any day above ground is good.

            Oh dear, that sounded rather dark.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            It’s hard to be sunshine and rainbows when life isn’t. I know good days are ahead for you.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Thank you. This is not my favorite day. And I appreciate your good wishes.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Rebecca has stated repeatedly that if you don’t have the money, don’t send it. But she also has bills to pay. I’m happy to subscribe to help keep this train running, but if you can’t, there’s no shame in that. And I feel like we’ve had this conversation before. There’s no poorz-shaming going on here.

    • Don’t take it personally, it’s not really different from any other marketing strategy. I get 20 emails a day (at least, and many more if there’s an election going on) begging for money for something or other — mostly good causes that I want to support — but rarely give money to any of them because, well, I don’t have it. But when I do find two bucks under the couch cushions that I don’t have an immediate need for, I can almost guarantee you that it will end up going to someone who contacted me that same day, because they’re at the top of my mind. They don’t know which day it will be that I have spare change to donate, so it makes sense to remind me every day. This is basically the same thing — they remind us repeatedly because they have no way of knowing who will respond to which nudge on which day, so the more the better. It doesn’t mean anyone is judging you if you can’t give.

    • Panika MCD

      why do you always take everything so personally?

      • II Gosala

        Why do you think it’s personal?

        Why do you say always?

        • Panika MCD

          you’re the only one who is acting as if the post is persecuting you. you can choose to simply not give because you know you can’t rather than doing this, “I’M TAKIN’ MY NON-COMMENTS AND GOIN’ HOME!” thing every time there’s a fundraising post. you also seem to take posts you disagree with as personal offenses–as if they were written just to tick you off.

          • II Gosala

            Again you accuse me of taking it personally when I clearly have not.

            This is a program to dismiss my critique. What further evidence is needed? Well, you say I protest every fund raising post when that is patently untrue. You say I take every post I disagree with personally when that is also patently untrue.

            It is you that is resisting the truth. I’m sorry you cannot see that.

          • Panika MCD

            you said ‘Trix was yelling at you, not us as a whole. you phrased it as if you were being specifically targeted. and, again, you did the whole, “I’m taking my ball and going home!” thing.

            it’s not a protest to make your own decision. you know your finances, so you make your own decision. hopefully one day you’ll be in a better position and at that point you will give. but she was not yelling at you or anyone else who can’t afford to give. some people give more because they can and they know that others can’t give any.

            and you do always frame your complaints as “me”, “I” and “my”. maybe don’t do that and people won’t see you as playing the victim constantly.

            I am sorry you can’t see yourself from the others perspectives, but that is how you come off.

  • Picabo

    Posted early today but worth repeating. I heard this on Stephanny Miller’s show.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFnMOhrUT5c

    • Suse

      Ha!

  • Sophia

    Judge praises former LDS bishop, while sentencing him for rape, as victim listens

    http://kutv.com/news/local/judge-praised-convicted-sex-offender

    • Suse

      I saw this earlier and nearly had a rage stroke. So many judges seem to have soft spots for rapists.

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        Boys will be boys, you know!

    • Jukesgrrl

      UnFUCKINGbelievable. Especially the part that this isn’t the first time a man from the bench implied that rape isn’t really all that bad. This hideous excuse for justice deserves the kind of treatment that judge got who felt sorry for the Stanford U. rapist. He’s not a judge anymore. But, hey, the bishop was a 100% stand-up guy … all except that time he couldn’t keep his hands off his visiting RELATIVES. So sad for the bishop. Somebody should tell those girls to stop being so enticing. Thanks for posting, Sophia. People need to know about this.

  • Serai 1
  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Breaking News: United Airlines kicks North Korean missile off flight.

    • Suse

      I hope they took its Pepsi away.

    • Doug Langley

      They’d overbooked their missiles. What else could they do?

    • janecita

      You guys talk shit about United and Pepsi, but Cosmopolitan is almost as bad. Check out the new diet craze!
      http://www.miamiherald.com/news/nation-world/national/article144303264.html

    • MilwaukeeKent

      They had to get their crew missiles to Louisville.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Their crew’s missiles?

        ftfy

  • bookish
  • Anna Elizabeth

    Is Anypony else making dumplings while watching Dr. Strangelove?

    • snark-lurker

      ’34 Katharine Hepburn flick here, with pretzels & choc Easter eggs

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I love Katherine Hepburn! Which one?

        • snark-lurker

          The Little Minister

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          I have a difficult time trusting anyone who doesn’t love Hepburn.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Agreed! :D I think my fave is Pat and Mike. Or, The African Queen.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            The Lion in Winter.

          • The Witch of Endor

            For me it’s a toss up between The Lion in Winter and Philadelphia Story.

          • The Wanderer

            The Lion in Winter is my favorite Christmas movie.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            What shall we hang? The holly, or each other?

          • The Witch of Endor

            I’d hang you on my nipples but it would shock the children.

          • The Witch of Endor

            My best Christmas movie line-up was The Lion in Winter, Philadelphia Story, Harvey, and Creator.

          • Persistent Demme

            Saw that on the stage with Laurence Fishburne and Stockard Channing.
            They captured that “weary, but feisty” chemistry well.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          Myrna Loy, also, too.

    • janecita

      I’m watching Twin Peaks (the movie) and drinking a glass of wine.

    • Doug Langley

      Rerun of the Bixby/Ferrigno Incredible Hulk. Best episode ever. The military captures the Hulk and take him to a secret scientific base. Naturally, he busts free. Lots of sci-fi gizmos, soldiers, and things blowing up real good.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I grew up with that show, it was the highlight of my week back then. :)

        • Doug Langley

          This one also had lots of Jack Colvin in it. He always added a lot.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Nice! :)

    • Apple Scruff

      Making pasta while watching ‘Ten Commandments’ over here.

    • Anna Rompage

      Just finished eating a super burrito from the taqueria and was going to watch Dr Strange tonight…

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I have Dr. Strange on my Prime, I haven’t watched it yet. :)

    • bookish

      Making presents (necklaces, bracelets) for the next solstice war on Christmas.

      • Anna Rompage

        You’re getting an early start! Good for you!

    • The Wanderer

      Watching the season premiere of Doctor Who. Had my annual liver binge.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I still gotta catch up. I’ve only seen Eccleston. I never have been able to develop a taste for liver.

        • The Wanderer

          I’ve always loved liver (the trick is to soak it in milk for about a half hour; it removes the strong taste), with bacon and sauteed onions.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            It was always the aftertaste that bothered me. It smells so good while cooking.

          • The Wanderer

            I found a recipe where you soak the liver in oil, with garlic and oregano, then grill it. The garlic and oregano give it a surprisingly sweet taste.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I’m willing to try something like that, I hate to be reactionary about food. :)

          • Bozilingus

            Pairs well with a nice Chianti.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      Getting ready to go out for Middle Eastern food.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      “Ze whole point of a Doomsday Machine ist lost if you Keep it a SECRET!” XD

      I love Kubrick, for me his films are almost hypnotic, and they are so well paced.

  • Apple Scruff

    Donald Trump demands to ride in Queen’s gold-plated carriage during UK state visit

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/donald-trump-demands-ride-queen-114140573.html

    Tacky is as tacky does.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Don’t worry about security, though like that wimp Obama did. The carriage is shielded against a bow and arrow attack.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      As long as HRH Elizabeth brings her corgis in the carriage with her.

    • snark-lurker

      infantile brat

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      He’s a fucking national embarrassment, is what he is.

      I repeat, let him ride in the waaaaaaahmbulance.

    • snark-lurker

      take him for a “fast ride” until he is crying like the big fat baby he is, then roll him out in a crowd

    • TJ Barke

      Fucking toddler in chief.

    • Claire

      If I recall correctly, Queen Elizabeth was an ambulance driver in one of the world wars and has made ambassadors from the Middle East nearly piss themselves by driving like a bat out of Hell. Go ahead, Cheeto Jesus, get in a moving vehicle with her.

  • Picabo

    I found a Web site today that I found fascinating and would like to share. Spent an hour in the library reading posts.
    http://www.askthepilot.com/

    http://www.askthepilot.com/express-blog/

    • Ωbjectifier

      He used to write for Salon years ago.

  • Jukesgrrl

    I just woke up from the nap I had to take after attending the Tax Day March in Tucson, AZ. Actually it wasn’t a march, per se, because we didn’t go anywhere. We were told to gather in front of John McCain’s office because that asshole needs a talking-to as well. Senator Say-One-Thing-Then-Vote-the-Opposite pretends to scold Trump regularly. Then when it comes time to put OUR money where his mouth is, he chickens out and gives Trump exactly what he asked for. McCain’s Tucson office is in a complex of government buildings downtown where city blocks are pretty long. The crowd stretched for more than a block on both sides of the street. I’d guess about 1,000 people.

    Almost every person brought a home-made sign. Very creative. Many were funny, some were arty, a couple even had sparkles. The vast majority of people were way over 50. My major complaint about the resistance movement: WHERE ARE THE YOUNG PEOPLE? One of the few who showed up today was a college-age woman who carried a big American flag (the on-a-pole kind a flag bearer would have in a parade). And she was wearing a navy blue taffeta ball gown. No kidding. It was quite a sight! The skirt was huge and she marched up and down the street, stopping to accommodate all the oldz who wanted to get their picture taken with her. Nice job, young woman! Now, bring some friends the next time.

    A group representing RefuseFascism.org were there, signing up people for their cause. A nice lady gave away free black wrist bands that say “Resist Trump, Resist Hate.” I’m wearing one right now, although I reserve my right to hate Trump. The crowd’s second favorite chant: a guy would yell “What does democracy look like?” and the people would answer, “THIS is what democracy looks like.” The #1 crowd-favorite chant: “LOCK HIM UP!” There were some police there, but they just walked around, very friendly, just chatting people up. My major issue with the whole thing was not one single TV station covered the march with video cameras. Beautiful day. Colorful, loud crowd. Everyone passionate and opinionated. But no one will see it on the local news. Even John McCain can pretend it never happened.

    • yyyaz

      Before I moved north back to my hometown, I spent 3 days at the Occupy Tucson gig and many various downtown political/social events over the years. I do miss the small-town feeling for which the Old Pueblo has been famous for decades, and justly so.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      The “what does democracy look like” chant was big at the Inauguration Day march in Tucson. I’m not a chanter by nature, but I couldn’t resist that one.

  • Picabo

    Richie Havens Here Comes the Sun. Happy Easter.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBbXKsKXyNU

  • Daisy

    A protest in Berkeley got violent, so even though it didn’t take place anywhere near the university, I expect my mother’s friends to start saying the students should be shot. Again.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Your mother’s friends sound charming.

      • Daisy

        Truly, they’re lovely. She can’t even stand them, but she won’t unfriend them on Facebook because she doesn’t want the fallout. She also enjoyed chewing them out over the last time, with the Milo protest.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Your mother actually sounds like a good person. With unfortunate aquaintances.

          • Daisy

            Found out just now that it was *technically* a friend of a friend of her’s who made the stupidest comment.

      • Panika MCD

        can you call my phone?

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      If I could count all the ways that’s stupid, I would have a better job.

      • Daisy

        Brilliant, they are not. Stupid, they are.

    • Panika MCD

      haven’t seen you in a while. other than the protest making you not want to hang out with your mom any time soon, how are you? how is BLUE TOWEL?

      • Daisy

        My mom’s cool, her Facebook friends just really suck. Guy friend is doing good right now, and has advised me to watch the new Star Wars trailer.

    • Persistent Demme

      Yeah, I was worried about that in SF.
      But our YOOOOGE march seemed fine.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      Russian active measures. I’ve been reading up on it. And I don’t think I need a tinfoil hat just yet.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Good to see you!

      Sorry to hear about your mother’s friends and what happened at Berkeley. Those cowards wouldn’t have dared to troll the Los Angeles Tax March–my theory is they go after Berkeley because of its progressive reputation + they figure young people are more vulnerable to their attempts to stir up trouble. Assholes.

      • Daisy

        Yep, pretty much. I’m always disappointed when the residents take the bait though.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        The Committee to Fuck Shit Up will always be with us. Assholes.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        This wasn’t the tax march. Neither of these groups had a permit. The Trump supporters decided, through social media, to just show up – a Flashmob, if you will. Obviously, their opponents caught wind of it and decided to show up. Both sides, IMMHO, came to fight, not to protest peacefully. Helmets? Shields? Pepper spray/mace? Have you seen those at permitted protests?

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          Ouch…I knew it wasn’t the tax march but I didn’t know our side didn’t have a permit (not surprised to hear that the TrumpPenceZees didn’t have one.) Fuck.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Yeah. Bad behavior on their part doesn’t justify bad behavior on our part. Eventually, yes, but not now. Now, it just feeds the “Both Sides” narrative.

        • Daisy

          Yeah, it’s bad when the bank decides to board up their atms before hand.

        • SnarkON

          I know it’s wrong but now I’m imagining a pro-Trump and anti-Trump version of the Sharks vs. Jets dance rumble in West Side Story.

          • When you’re with Trump, you’re with Trump all the way
            From his first pussy grab to his last Golfing day

          • Pinkham’s Law

            PERZACKTLY!!!

    • Juan de Fuca

      This time it looks like the pro-Trump side got their asses handed to them so there’s that. Who hosts a pro-Trump rally in Berkeley? Wingnuts such as the Oath Keepers.

      The Oath Keepers promise to defend our republic and couldn’t even protect a bunch of rednecks who were literally wearing baseball helmets and appear to have started most of the fights. I’m not defending the violence, just saying it seems as though the RWNJ’s went out looking for trouble and they found more than they could handle.

  • akryan

    fuck. tax day always sucks. owed about $1000. I need to be less honest and not report any of my side income. I suppose Trump’s golf trips won’t pay for themselves though …

    • yyyaz

      As far as that idjit is concerned, they already do.

  • Reality Killswitch

    Don’t fuck off Fareed Zakaria yet. I still have him in high regard after his Donnie the bullshittier staement.

    • akryan

      except that he didn’t piece together that Trump’s $80M fireworks display was all part of the bullshit facade of him being a tough guy.

      • Reality Killswitch

        Donald is still a bullshitier. I can take that part.

      • Reality Killswitch

        And your screen name sounds like aryan. Not good.

        • akryan

          LOL, I never thought of that. I guess it really does. Anyway, my name is Ryan and I live in Alaska. That’s how creative I am.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Yeah, that disappointed me, as well. Still, I think he gets it right way more often than he gets it wrong.

    • Jukesgrrl

      I still have low regard for him as he was one of the chief cheerleaders for Cheney’s invasion of Iraq.

      • Reality Killswitch

        I update my time spans. We are in more serious shit now. Who cares about 15 years ago. It’s like me putting down Henry Kissinger because of Vietnam.

        • Pierre_de_Fermat

          I understand the point. It is why I am checking into what the #NeverTrump right is saying. This is all kind of a Crispin’s Day thing.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I’m actually pretty open to that :)

    • Picabo

      I did not like some of what Mike Royko wrote. But when he zinged the power class, he nailed it. Having said that, Fareed Zakaria is no Mike Royko.

      • Shoto

        Zakaria seems to be a consummate opportunist. He’s up for sale, and his dubious opinions are subject to change based upon the whims of whomever happens to be writing the check at the time.

        I will stipulate that I lean toward the cynical in these matters.

  • Persistent Demme

    San Francisco Tax March
    Chants:
    We must know!
    What do you owe?! (also, WHO do you owe?!)

    You’re orange!
    You’re gross!
    You lost the popular vote!

    ( Dammit! Pics are screwed up. I’ll post them later.)

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Today, for many reasons, I looked in the mirror and thought, “OH my god, how old am I?” because apparently the mirror thinks I’m 13.

    • The Wanderer

      “Old, and willing to learn, is always young.”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Aw shit–Spotts 1701, are you here? Anyone got any intel on this?

    https://twitter.com/JLangelerNews/status/853380092705296384

  • Picabo

    Over at Daily Kos. “Armed Trump fans are contemplating a shooting war with progressives and anti-fascists’
    http://www.dailykos.com/stories/2017/4/15/1653366/-Armed-Trump-fans-are-contemplating-a-shooting-war-with-progressives-and-anti-facists

    • The Wanderer

      Of course they are. All of the eliminationist rhetoric will eventually do more than spur on kooks and cranks.

      • snark-lurker

        1 kook here & a crank over there can hurt a lot of peeps with their AR-15s & high capacity mag’s

        • The Wanderer

          Very true.

    • TJ Barke

      Fascist pigs.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Now I know why there were several cops at the metro station when I left our tax march. Fuck.

      • HazooToo

        At least you got home safe.

      • Picabo

        Most police officers are good. I have had the unfortunate experience calling 911 because of noise and domestic disturbance complaints over the last year. I have had positive interactions at all times. Also, the firing range is about a quarter mile from me. I can hear it. They get lots of practice. They know how to use their guns, unlike the yahoos.

      • Persistent Demme

        SF had a lot of them.
        I think I saw around 40-50.

    • HazooToo

      They have been masturbating over this fantasy for a long time, but I am seriously starting to fear it will come about soon.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Yeah, and they have the guns. That’s the really scary part.

        • TJ Barke

          They aren’t the only ones.

        • HazooToo

          They do. But I think they underestimate how many liberals also have guns.

          • And how many know how to actually use them.

          • BloviateMe

            I shot a man in Reno. Just to watch him die.

          • I tried that once but dude pulled through. Figures you know?

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            You’re not supposed to call an ambulance after you’ve shot him, ya know … kinda blows the whole “watch him die” bit.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Curse you kneejerk liberal empathy!

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I’m considering getting one.

          • HazooToo

            I would, but my kid is afraid to tell on people and his “best friend” has NO boundaries and likes to bully him and lie. It’s a perfect recipe for disaster. I really hate that kid! I know it’s mean to say that, but he pisses me off all the damn time, and it’s not entirely his fault he’s a tiny little asshole either! But I don’t want to tell my kid he can’t see him anymore, because he’s one of his only two friends, and his little sisters are sweet enough to make up for it.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            At first I thought you were afraid the kids might find the gun, but on second reading, I think you have a deep Freudian desire to kill that annoying kid! Also, I’m totally not judging, I’ve met a few kids I’d like to bury out in the backyard, too.

          • HazooToo

            lol, a lot from column A, a little from column B…

      • dshwa

        If Trump gets impeached, I’d give it good odds.

    • Persistent Demme

      I was relieved to see that the San Francisco Tax March showed no signs of violence.
      Could it be that the cowards know they’d get their butts kicked here?
      They surely would, but that didn’t stop the troubles in Berkeley.
      I’m confused.

      • They assumed Berkeley would be all young easily intimidated college kids.
        They were wrong.
        But they would not dare kick up a fuss with actual full growed adulting adults.

        • Persistent Demme

          And not only were there thousands of marchers, I’m sure that many of the sympathetic onlookers lining the streets would have been happy to kick some ass.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Or the anarchists they were play fighting with were from the same chat rooms.

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I remember that sign. Loved it!

  • wait! what?

    Hitchhiking Woodpecker Gets Tour Of Chicago

    https://youtu.be/nOXgjBUFB7s

    • Alan

      Hitchhiking sapsucker. Sorry to be a fuss.

  • Daisy

    H.A Goodman is being a fucking moron and Trump enabler, again. Something about Hillary being a fascist and stealing the election from Trump.
    *Bernie, not Trump. Gah!

    • TJ Barke

      Projection much?

    • The Wanderer

      Wow, is he ever A Idiot.

    • Tallmutha

      OK! I just logged into Wonkette for the first time in something like 24 hours. G’night everyone, have a great night!

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Sleep well.

        • Tallmutha

          That’s easy for you to say. I was just reminded of H. A. GOODMAN!

          • Sleep knowing his relevance is slowly slip slip slipping away having way too soon tipped his hand to being a fucking me first libertarian fucknut with all the left wing scruples of the average garden slug.
            Course, that could be just my personal opinion of him. But I read it on the internet, so….

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Look at it this way: he still doesn’t have a job with either Breitbart or the Intercept. His 15 minutes is up. At best he ends up fighting Andrew Sullivan for racists at New York.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Ha Ha is a wikileaks stooge.
      I read it on the internet so, it must be true.

    • Panika MCD

      when is HA Goodman not being a fucking moron?

    • jesterpunk

      People still listen to HAHA Goodone? That guy was the biggest Bernie bro during the election then he turned to a huge Trump supporter close to the election.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    from Charles Pierce:
    “But that’s nothing compared to what’s going on with the members of the Cabinet. Early in her term, Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos was confronted by some obstreperous public school parents. As a result, DeVos has engaged U.S. Marshals as a protective detail at a cost of $1 million per month. From The Houston Chronicle:

    The Education Department has agreed to reimburse the marshals $7.78 million for their services from mid-February to the end of September of this year, according to a spokeswoman for the Marshals Service – an amount that works out to about $1 million per month. Marshals will continue providing security for the education secretary for the next four years, or until either agency decides to terminate the arrangement, under an agreement signed last week. While the department is spending the additional money on DeVos’s security, members of the in-house security team that guarded previous secretaries remain on the payroll. But they are not guarding DeVos and have not been assigned new duties, according to a department employee who was not authorized to speak to a reporter and asked for anonymity.
    Here’s where I point out that, as part of the draconian budget proposed by the president* a while back, the department would lose 14 percent of its funding. But it’s going to reimburse the U.S. Marshal Service a million per month for 48 months to keep Betsy DeVos clear of angry middle-school English teachers. And grizzlies I guess.”

    Your tax dollars hard at work, protecting billionaires from getting hurt feelings.

    • TJ Barke

      Protecting billionaires while they gut and cannibalize our country.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        It’s pretty sickening.

        • TJ Barke

          It’s pretty infuriating.

          • Lord Jim

            It’s the American Way®. :/

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Fucking snowflake. Over privileged, over whelmed, under qualified FUCKING SNOWFLAKE.

      Go home, Betsy, you’re done.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        It’s hard to choose the worst of Trump’s cabinet appointees, but she’s certainly in the top three.

        Trump was such a moron, since he could have actually been a populist president, and he could have been a very successful and popular president, since he wasn’t beholden to the GOP. He could have chosen sane, competent people to be his advisers (NOT DeVos), he could have raised the minimum wage, he could have raised taxes on the wealthy a little bit, he could have nominated Merrick Garland to the Supreme Court, he could have fixed Obamacare, etc…but he decided to go the opposite route, and go hard core, balls to the wall, ultra conservative. He’s too stupid to realize that nobody, including the idiots who vote for Republicans, actually likes their absurd policies.

  • Claire

    Oh god, dude, please don’t. Come on. We’ve suffered enough.

    https://twitter.com/HeerJeet/status/853051444198490112

    • I saw that. Of course, Cernovich considers himself a crack reporter who has LOTS of “scoops” that he just … sits on, until he needs them!, because that’s how he thinks journalism works, apparently.

      • He does know that blackmail is seriously not legal, right?

      • Other Chris

        Donnie pulled the same shit during the campaign. Scuzz tactics.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I’d bet the rent money that this date-rape apologist is just like Donald: all bluster no substance.

      • Claire

        Hoping his big scoop is “Hey, I heard there was a pee hooker tape. Did you guys hear that?”

      • HazooToo

        “If gays can marry, I will set myself on fire!”

        “If Chelsea Manning is set free, I will turn myself in!”

        “I will fight Alec Baldwin to the death!”

        Here we go again, with the false promises.

  • Nick Scroggs

    Anyone here?

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Da.

    • snark-lurker

      just a bunch of boobies here

      • CindyinEncinitas

        I’ll see your boobies and raise you 2 Ds!

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      There’s nobody here but us mice!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Unflattering color, poor fit, and ugly font? Give me three of those T-shirts!!!

    https://twitter.com/DonaldJTrumpJr/status/853341481175789571

    • Proof that there is no article of clothing that looks good on these people.
      I am starting to think they have weird shaped bodies. Course, might be his man boobs getting in the way

      • TJ Barke

        Man boobs libel.

        • I bet you my left titty your man boobs are less lumpy and growth looking than Jr’s there

          • BloviateMe

            I’m a gambler, so I’ll up the stakes and throw Jen’s right titty in the kitty, too. All in.

          • Careful there tex, gonna overload the game table. Got a wheelbarrow?

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      ??? He’s not sure if he has five buddies or ten thousand buddies???

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Smarmy. <—-That is all, folks.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Actually, that’s the color of mental health awareness. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      This male model makes Derek Zoolander look bright.

    • SnarkON

      His other shirt says BIG DUMB DOUCHE.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Who doesn’t love the full thrust of a sleek, steaming missile launch? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fd94536925583fbb9cfe01699b3d48aaee9938eb1c916f08899746bd77e9292a.jpg

    • Ωbjectifier

      A little pre-launch excitement, eh?