Hide your kids, hide your wife.

WONKETTE EDUCATION POP QUIZ: What’s just as unqualified as Education Secretary Betsy DeVos, but seems quite a bit more racist? The answer is “Candice Jackson,” and she is the white lady DeVos has picked to head the Office of Civil Rights over at the Department of Education, at least until DeVos selects a formal nominee for the role. Once DeVos does that, Jackson will be deputy assistant secretary in that office.

Now, ProPublica reports that we can’t be sure how terrible Jackson will be, because she doesn’t have any relevant experience in civil rights law, but we can guess how hard she will work to protect America’s forgotten race AKA white people, by looking at her past:

The new acting head of the U.S. Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights once complained that she experienced discrimination because she is white.

Well, we’re off to a good start, aren’t we? According to Jackson, when she was at Stanford, she was really shitty at calculus, so she tried to get help, but unfortunately Stanford was like “Heck no whitey, no help for you! This is for the minorities, whom we adore, unlike you, big dumb cracker, whom we hate.” And she never did calculus again, we guess. Actually, it was a specific program that was specifically for minority students, and she wrote about it in the Stanford Review:

“I am especially disappointed that the University encourages these and other discriminatory programs,” she wrote in the Stanford Review. “We need to allow each person to define his or her own achievements instead of assuming competence or incompetence based on race.”


ProPublica explains that the Education Department’s Office of Civil Rights is “responsible for protecting students from racial, gender, disability and age discrimination,” and that it really grew during the Obama years. We’re sure Jackson will work very hard to keep all that going, since when she was a senior in college, she wrote another thingie about how affirmative action is just the WORST. She was probably remembering all her still-unsolved calculus equations, and seething while she watched all the smug minorities walking around campus with that “I can do math” look on their faces:

“As with most liberal solutions to a problem, giving special assistance to minority students is a band-aid solution to a deep problem,” she wrote. “No one, least of all the minority student, is well served by receiving special treatment based on race or ethnicity.”

Know what else really got Jackson going back in those days? Ladies! Pffffft, ladies, are they not the dumbest with their feminism malarkey? Do they not realize that TRUE equality for women comes from being a wingnut who doesn’t believe sexism exists?

In another article Jackson penned for the Review during her senior year, entitled “How I Survived Stanford Without Entering the Women’s Center,” she condemned feminism on campus.

“In today’s society, women have the same opportunities as men to advance their careers, raise families, and pursue their personal goals,” she wrote. “College women who insist on banding together by gender to fight for their rights are moving backwards, not forwards.”

ProPublica quotes one of her old pals at the Stanford Review, who says don’t worry, Jackson is totally pro-woman, and reminds us that when she was in college, back in the ’90s, “feminist culture” was totally different. We are guessing Jackson did not go to the Lilith Fair even one time.

Apparently after college, Jackson became a libertarian, and worked in a think tank editing the works of an extremist named Murray Rothbard, whose driving force in life was that kids shouldn’t be required to go to school. Again, we don’t know FOR CERTAIN if Jackson believes all these things now, but we’re not hopeful she’s a good fit for the DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION.

Jackson likes long walks on the beach, Make America Great Again fashion accessories, and also she was the person who arranged the stunt Donald Trump pulled at the first presidential debate, where the campaign invited all the ladies who had ever accused Bill Clinton of a sex crime, in an effort to intimidate Hillary Clinton. (Hillary Clinton was not intimidated.) She was perfect for this job, because she literally wrote the book on those women:

For the better part of the past year, Jackson spent a considerable amount of time criticizing how Hillary Clinton allegedly intimidated the women who accused Bill Clinton of sexual impropriety and rape. Jackson wrote a book in 2005, Their Lives: The Women Targeted by the Clinton Machine, that detailed sexual misconduct accusations against Bill Clinton.

Jackson even started a nonprofit to help victims of powerful men like Bill Clinton and Donald Trump. FOOLED YOU, JUST KIDDING, the thing she founded, called Their Lives Foundation, is devoted to helping lady victims of Hillary Clinton and other gross witch harpies like Hillary Clinton. As for gropey Donald Trump’s many accusers, Jackson’s official stance is BITCHES BE LYIN’:

The accusers were lying “for political gain,” Jackson wrote on Facebook, and “evidence is piling up that shows these recent accusers against Trump are, frankly, fake victims.

God bless, she seems nice.

Finally, Jackson is a songstress (pfffffft, she didn’t even NEED Lilith Fair). She wrote a “Christian country song” with her brother and her dad, an aspiring country singer named Ricky Lee Jackson, called “Freedom, Family and Faith.” It is about how freedom and family and faith are good things, whereas Big Brother and bailouts are bad. It is the best song ever written, according to our calculus calculations, which Candice Jackson is unable to do, because minorities fucked her right out of learning how to do them. It is such a good song that Daddy Jackson performed it live on “Fox & Friends,” which is a musical show sort of like “Austin City Limits,” except different:


Anyway, aren’t you excited about Candice Jackson being a part of your child’s education? Yes you are, because the Trump administration only picks the best people.

Wonkette is fully funded by you! If you liked this post, click below, for to fund us!

[ProPublica / Buzzfeed]

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  • memzilla Ω

    …when she was at Stanford, she was really shitty at calculus…

    Tangential to her duties, now she’ll be cosine-ing legislation.

  • Painter of Goats

    Having musical orgasms. Like this?

    • wait! what?

      …what a nice guy…

      • Bobathonic

        Another Schnitzengruben?

  • weejee
    • wide_stance_hubby

      Could watch this all day.

    • Michael R

      I learn new sign language every day here .

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Jackson likes long walks on the beach,

    But does she like piña coladas, and getting caught in the rain?

    • Painter of Goats

      But she’s not into health food.

      • Lambsendbeds

        She is into champagne.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      But, she does have half a brain.

    • BearGHAZI

      Judging from that song, she’s clearly not into such ‘peppermint’ material

    • msanthropesmr

      Does anybody like Pina colada?

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Not since I became legal.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        I bet KAC does.

      • Marion in Savannah

        No. As a matter of fact, HELL no.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        I’m another vote against. I’ve had some pretty good Mai Tais along the way, though. Daiquiris, Margueritas… dang, is it 5 o’clock, yet?

      • Nockular cavity

        In the Caribbean, with good rum, and fresh pineapple and coconut? Okay. Otherwise, no.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Cuba Libra for me por favor

      • Shawn Renee Ernoehazy

        I don’t like drinking tanning lotion blended with ice; that is how they taste to me.

    • puredog

      As long as she takes them perpendicularly towards the ocean, I’m all for it.

  • Chadwells
  • Vincent Ricola

    I hope Candice Jackson gets a 3,000 pound vote dropped on her grifting head. The end.

  • BearGHAZI

    The woman never drank a Duff in her life

  • Michael R
    • Vecchioivan

      Mission accomplished.

      • Shoto


  • msanthropesmr

    I am an edumacation PhD. I wrote my dissertation on reasons that African American males choose to leave the study of engineering. The reason that Stanford has programs unique to student of color to get assistance with their studies (and likely ladies too) is that because HOW FUCKING LIKELY ARE YOU TO ASK FOR HELP IF YOU ARE THE ONLY AFRICAN AMERICAN KID IN THE CLASS? You want to talk amount stigmatization? Try being the ONLY African American in a program of studies. Do you really want to be known as the “dumb black kid” as one of my participants put it, who raised their hand to ask a question.

    Fuck this person. Fuck her a lot.

    • aureolaborealis

      We’ll have to disregard your input, as you’re clearly biased by knowledge.

  • ariel_gee_398
  • Michael R

    If you listened to that horrible song here’s something to undo the damage …

    • Shawn Renee Ernoehazy

      Thank you! It was awful in so many ways; I even played the whole thing knowing it would never get better.

  • Mpeg

    She’s the Debbie Downer to Stanford U’s Debi Thomases..

    • jesterpunk

      Where is Tonya Harding when you need her?

      • Lambsendbeds

        “Why?!? Why?!? Why?!? Why?!?” *sobs*

  • anwisok
    • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

      What were you doing at my hot tub, and why didn’t you bring me a beer since you were up?

  • wait! what?

    Don’t even ask how many other things Betsy can crash and burn because…

  • janecita

    OT, these good people are tracking Trump’s weekly vacations.

    • Marion in Savannah

      That’s just TOO delicious! So far his weekends could have paid for 61,000 school lunches.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Let them eat mystery meat.

      • HogeyeGrex

        That’s 61k school lunches for a whole year.

        Sounded a little expensive at first.

        Also, too: 322 times the salary check he donated to the NPS.

    • wait! what?

      Just lost a long time veteran friend of mine to suicide. A gradual decline over decades had him ending up on the streets recently. He was always on the cusp of being able to qualify for aid and his other VA benefits were laughable, considering he was an injured vet with 20% disability.

      • shoeflyin

        So sorry to hear this

      • Pilotshark

        sorry to hear that.

      • Persistent Demme

        So sorry!
        He deserved better.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    an aspiring country singer named Ricky Lee Jackson

    FACT CHECK: All aspiring country singers are named Ricky Lee Jackson or, if penis-less, Ricki Lee Jackson.

  • jesterpunk

    Can she just get together with MRA moron Doug Mortimer and both of them go away somewhere we never have to hear from either of them again?

    • puredog

      You may have a lucrative future in matchmaking.

  • Pissy McPussgraberson’s administration is looking more like the Confederate States of America everyday.

  • SayItWithOtters

    What is it with all these mediocre white women? She’s blander than that UT affirmative action nutbag.

  • jesterpunk

    We don’t need no education

  • “As with most liberal solutions to a problem, giving special assistance to minority students is a band-aid solution to a deep problem,” she wrote.

    I would actually agree with her. It is a stop gap solution.

    But unfortunately, I doubt she wants to address the systemic racism in the various institutions and government policies that makes Affirmative Action a necessary Band-Aid.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Stop being silly. There’s no such thing as systematic racism, because nothing in this blessed country of ours Is Ever About Race. Of course, there are some people who may just be genetically lazy and ill-suited to higher edumacations…

      • Yellerduck

        Correct! It is all for the best in this, the best of all possible worlds.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      No no no, the deeper problem is a lack of married, two-parent households in the Black community and inadequate church attendance! Silly goose.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        No, no, no, the deeper problem is brown people aren’t very good in school because they just aren’t very smart. They can’t help it! Why would they even want to go to college?

        • puredog

          Oh, I think they’re smart enough. They just don’t like to W-R-K.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        And baggy pants, hippity hop music and that PURPLE DRINK also too!!1!!1!!!

    • Crystalclear12

      There is no racism anymore, we elected a black president. Didn’t you know that?

      • jodyleek

        And now an orange one! So diverse!

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    when she was at Stanford, she was really shitty at calculus

    Too bad there wasn’t a place she could have gone to learn and prepare before going to college. Some kind of “school”, perhaps a “high school”. Perhaps a set of core standard common across schools that lays the foundation for college-level mathematics.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Betsy picks a racist bint to head the DoE Civil Rights Division.

    In other news, water is wet. Film at 11.

    • Marion in Savannah

      BREAKING NEWS — You’ll never believe it. I just heard that tomorrow the sun will rise in the EAST.

      • jesterpunk

        The sun rise is a plot by China to warm up our cities. Very SAD China will pay for this.

      • puredog

        “. . .and there’s hamburger all over the highway in Mystic, Connecticut.”

  • Lance Thrustwell

    For starters – in a just world, she would be automatically disqualified from holding public office for two reasons:

    1) Having written that godawful, shameful cringefest of a song.
    2) Having begun any paragraph with “In today’s society” as a college senior.

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    She couldn’t find anyone to tutor calculus at Stanford?
    I call bullshit. She was only there to land a husband.

    • proudgrampa

      Yeah. That’s really hard to believe.

    • Thiazin Red

      Right? That is extreme horse shit.

  • Jennaratrix

    I made it 23 seconds into that “song.” “Yeah I’m livin’ in the U S of Ay ee yay…”


    • Crystalclear12

      Life is too short for that.

      • Nockular cavity

        Ain’t nobody got time for that.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      It’s a real vomit canyon, ain’t it?

      • Jennaratrix

        Ugh. As gross as that mental image is, IT’S NOT EVEN BAD ENOUGH.

    • BigCSouthside

      I can’t think of other countries that have entire musical genres that are basically “my country! Fuck yeah!”

      Didn’t country used to be all “fuck the government”?

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Still are. Don’t you know that the country and the government are different things?

  • Crystalclear12

    Incoherent rage scream

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Speaking of people grossed out by civil rights, minorities and such…

    • jesterpunk

      Damn they are all good at that. No wonder the White House has so many problems there is no loyalty at all and everyone is so quick to throw each other under the bus. I really hope that continues so they dont get much done too.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        How many W.H. staffers does it take to bog down a bus?
        No guesswork — I want to see statistically relevant experimental evidence.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          What is our control group?

          • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

            Enron, maybe?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      So now there’s a “Team Jared” and “Team Steve?”

      Is this still a better love story than Twilight?

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        I think I’d take sparkly vampires over glittering assholes.

      • wait! what?

        No because KaC would be the love interest.

    • Shibusa

      Rat Miller is leaving the sinking SS Bannon.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Who? The Breitbart guy?

  • Thiazin Red

    Did this twat consider talking to the TA, joining a study group, talking to the professor, or was it strait to demanding that the minority organization do her work for her?

  • Nephilim

    The reason the Federal government is involved in education, law enforcement, worker’s safety, the environment, etc. is because of these closed minded people like Jackson, Sessions, Bannon, etc. etc. We have to have national oversight to make sure civil rights are not violated and the environment kept clean. It can’t be left to local law enforcement and school boards or we will be back to the 1950s like Trump and his minions want.

    • Bobathonic

      It’s like they think the Articles of Confederation had a better scheme.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    I’m just gonna repost this. Seems relevant.

    Irving Kristol, father of Bill Kristol, former chief of staff to VP Dan Quayle and prominent neoconservative writer, spoke of his son’s rise in politics:

    “The talk turned to William Kristol, then Dan Quayle’s chief of staff, and how he got his start in politics. Irving recalled how he talked to his friend Harvey Mansfield at Harvard, who secured William a place there as both an undergrad and graduate student; how he talked to Pat Moynihan, then Nixon’s domestic policy adviser, and got William an internship at the White House; how he talked to friends at the RNC [Republican National Committee] and secured a job for William after he got his Harvard Ph.D.; and how he arranged with still more friends for William to teach at Penn and the Kennedy School of Government.

    “With that, Prof. Katznelson recalled, he then asked Irving what he thought of affirmative action. ‘I oppose it,’ Irving replied. ‘It subverts meritocracy.’ “

  • Yr. Gma

    I think Betsy must have taken over Disqus, too.

    • Me not sure

      You may never be able to see this, I agree.

  • Anna Rompage

    I was thinking for a moment, why didn’t she just join a study group, then it dawned on me, a study group would never let an insufferable asshole like this join them

    • Shibusa

      She’d have to transfer to Bob Jones University to find likeminded students.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Apparently after college, Jackson became a libertarian…

    AFTER college? That’s when she adopts the political philosophy of 14-19 year olds who haven’t quite learned to think things all the way through? Talk about a slow learner.


    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      It was the fabulous robot-from-the-future sex in Atlas Shrugged that finally won her over.

      • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

        But even that wasn’t as bad as “My Name Is John Galt”. A pox on that terrible fucking book.

  • Michael R

    I don’t know if I’m prepared for a post nuclear world full of Trump like creatures .

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    ∫ Candice Jackson dC = -∞

    • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

      She was told there would be no math.

  • Pilotshark

    Great just the person you need for a all encompassing department.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    With plenty of vacancies left to fill, this must give Victoria Jackson some hope for a cabinet position.

  • Shibusa

    Once again, the false narrative of white victimhood that drives the Republican right will be used as a cudgel to club minority students.

    • Nockular cavity

      -Rocky T. F. Squirrel

      • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

        This time fer shure!
        –B. Moose

  • wait! what?
    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Candice doesn’t get it. Sad. Weak.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    So which MGTOW is the front runner for women’s health czar?

  • Anna Elizabeth

    OT – I just walked to Big Lots for a couple things, no issues, but as I got back to my home, I could smell a fire.

    Leaves and mulch burning on property, and I don’t have a phone. Walking the rest of the way as fast as I could, I noticed two other ladies getting the Manager, and I confirmed with them all that help is on the way.

    It’s too dry and windy to be careless with cigarettes.

    • Yellerduck

      A door-to-door salesperson set my Mum-in-law’s house on fire with a cigarette. They set it down on the porch to save it so as not to have it in their hand when she answered the door and the wind blew it under a wooden porch column. My MIL then called me to tell me her house was on fire. I told her to call the fire department, but she said she didn’t want to get the guy in trouble. I called them while she gave him time to skedaddle and turned the hose on it.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Good Gawd. I hope no one was hurt.

        • Yellerduck

          No one hurt, just toasted the column and the porch ceiling!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Thank goodness. Geez, I don’t hate smokers, but can they be more responsible, please?

          • Lascauxcaveman


            But seriously, all smokers I see are horribly irresponsible people.


    • SeeTrain65

      Just one more benefit of giving up the habit (Will be 26 years this July): No risk of fire damage.

  • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

    WTF @ This?

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Fuckin’ A, it’s like this entire traitorous administration is made up of youTube Trolls.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      So, that’s a feature, not a bug.

  • Persistent Demme

    She and MoDo should start a Clinton Derangement Syndrome support group.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Ooops. Wrong non-comment.

  • TundraGrifter

    You know the old riposte “Do the math.”

    Now we have to add “But not you, Candice.”

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    I’m sure she’ll get rid of those pesky Title IX protections, because only lesbians play sports and sexual assault survivor are all lying.

  • Jennifer R

    DCCC cracked open the checkbook for Ossoff.

    • puredog

      “Cracking” = good; “opening wide” = BETTER.

      • Jennifer R

        How much does it cost to hire Samuel L Jackson anyway?

        • jodyleek

          One Big Kahuna burger and a briefcase full of bright, shiny stuff.

  • aureolaborealis

    These are common wingnut motifs. If a scholarship exists for a particular group that doesn’t include them, even if plenty of other ones exist for which they are eligible, it’s “HOW COME MEXICANS AND NEGROES GET MUNEEZ AND I DON’T? DESCRAMINAYSHUN AGIN’ THE WHITE MAN!!!!! CULTURAL GENOCIDES!!!! PARTICIPATION TROPHIES!!!!! WAAAH!!!”*

    * Only slightly paraphrased FB comment to Uncle Aureolaborealis.

    • thixotropic jerk

      Which part?

    • SeeTrain65

      Tell her about all the scholarships that go only to people from specific high schools and she’ll be screaming about that next.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    OT, but surprising: ants, like Marines, won’t leave a man behind:

  • Yellerduck

    Oh, another person put in charge of that which they hate most. She’ll fit right in. Someone should put me in charge of the Department of Liver and Onion Recipes.

    • puredog


  • aureolaborealis

    So the only thing that kept her from being a math major was all the unfair help minority students got? Even though (I know this without checking) there was tutoring and mentoring and all kinds of help available to her, too, and she didn’t make use of any of it?

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      I am pretty sure being good at Math, Physics, and most of the hard Sciences means you are more than encouraged, more than welcome

      … because sausagefest.

      • akryan

        no shit. being an engineering major is pretty rough sledding for meeting the ladies.

        • CripesAmighty

          Until you show up a month after graduation in your Maserati.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I very much doubt that math pays as well as being on the wingnut welfare train that stops by the conservative provocateur newspaper at Good Schools. Ask Michelle Malkin about her Oberlin degree.

      • Bobathonic

        Yeah, she can do THAT math.

    • akryan

      yeah, not shit. there are tutoring services at every state school. I sure that a school like Stanford has really good tutoring services available. She just wanted to be a victim.

      • H0mer0

        Stanford apparently does its best to keep their students from flunking out so they don’t lose those sweeet tuition bucks.

  • Jamoche

    “We do our best, but they can’t all be Maddows” – Stanford

    If she’d ever been near the Women’s Center (in a converted 1906 fire station, it’s kinda neat) she’d have seen the kiosks with signs advertising tutors in all sorts of things.

    • mancityRed6

      I have no words. I just can’t even.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    ProPublica quotes one of her old pals at the Stanford Review, who says don’t worry, Jackson is totally pro-woman

    And if anyone would know about being totally pro-woman, it’s someone who joined the Stanford Review while the stench of its founder, Peter Thiel, was still lingering about the office.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Why am I thinking a song wasn’t the only thing she did with her brother and her dad?
    Or are you saying her brother is her dad?
    Trump would have done better hiring Victoria Jackson.

    • thixotropic jerk

      Victoria “I have secrets!” Jackson ok but y not Victoria Principal at least she has them!

  • puredog

    Y’know, you’d think Donnie might give up one weekend of golf to get those lawsuits fired up agin all them harpies who lied about him sexually harassing him. I mean, when are we going to get those? (And the associated discovery.)

    • Keith Taylor

      Yes. He PROMISED he was going to do that. As he PROMISED he’d appoint a special prosecutor to nail Hillary Clinton. Because e-mails and Benghazi and she and Bill were running their very own little Murder Incorporated, as every Trump supporter knows (but nobody else seems to, the FBI included). It’ll shatter me if I learn Donald Trump has ever broken his word or treated a responsibility lightly.

  • Brendan_M

    Candace Jackson is guided by a simple principle, best articulated by one of the greatest Americans:

    “Justice anywhere is a threat to injustice everywhere.”

    – Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.*

    *(Might’ve been the “MLK of Healthcare”)

    • rEVOLutionist

      Uh, . . . whut??

      • Brendan_M

        Are you not familiar with Dr. King? He’s somebody who’s done an amazing job and is getting recognized more and more, I notice.

        • thixotropic jerk

          Him and that Douglass De Boise Sojurner Truthiness person

        • rEVOLutionist

          “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.”

          MLK – Letter from the Birmingham Jail ~

          Read your quote again, Brendan.

  • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

    What is that “deep problem”, exactly? I wonder.

  • Daniel Hooper

    As someone who couldn’t even hack pre-calculus, those minority student’s who were doing extra calculus were the real victims in my book.

    • H0mer0

      so many things I would have done, but calculus got in my way…

  • PixieThis

    HA! Like minorities even need calculus to pick my fruit. Her story sounds fake.

    Real me here – how did this special snowflake get into Stanford???????

    • thixotropic jerk

      Affirmative Whine Privilege

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Let- her rewrite the history books and Rosa Brooks would become a turnstile hopping lesbian.

  • Beowoof14

    And yet the discrimination protection she needed wasn’t available for a self-entitled white woman. Unfair.
    And those women who said Trump was a snatch grabber are just lying. Sure, cause they want to be hounded by right wing morons with the IQ of turnip for years.

  • Bitter Scribe

    When I was at Stanford, the Review was staffed by a bunch of smug, insufferable little shits. Glad to know traditions are being kept up.

  • Spurning Beer

    She’s going to file suit against any school that observes Taco Tuesday.

    • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

      This means war.

      • Keith Taylor

        You’re absolutely right.

  • FZsdaughter

    So that’s what she did with her degree from Stanford, wrote The Women Targeted by the Clinton Machine. I feel sorry for her cohort.

    • H0mer0

      Imagine what the Theranos woman who was a Stanford dropout coulda done if she stuck around for her degree.

      What would women like her, Malkin and Coulter do without wingnut welfare? It’s not as if they have any marketable skills.

  • HorseChestnut

    If by “orgasms” you mean “dry heaves,” then yes, BRB.

    • Gregory Brown

      I made it through three notes.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    How I Survived Stanford Without Entering the Women’s Center,

    Pretty sure the staff at my rival school’s Women’s Center were relieved by that much. (GO CAL BEARS!)

  • Scooby

    I think she’s confused Algebra with Calculus.

    • SeeTrain65

      I think she’s confused bok choy with cabbage. (Have at it, MST3Kers.)

    • Gregory Brown

      No way! She’s not going to have anything to do with that Muslin Math. Which is probably why she had so much trouble with the calculus.

  • Prolecat

    A Libertarian. Her solution for civil rights violations will be “Let the Free Market handle it”. And if the Free Market fails? “Too farken bad, you obviously suck. “

    • CripesAmighty

      ‘That was the Invisible Hand of the Free Market grabbing your pussy. Suck it up, buttercup.’

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    Um. Wow. Just wow. This administration couldn’t get more weird.

    • Ducksworthy

      Wait until Phil Robertson is nominated to fill the next vacancy on SCOTUS.

      • Mike Steele

        Glad I scrolled down this far; was just about to name Phil to a lesser cabinet post in State Dept.

    • Keith Taylor

      Don’t say that. They’ll take it as a challenge.

  • Iam Reading

    Just another asshole in the asshole Administration.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    So according to conservatives the ideal way to govern is staffing the government with incompetent nihilistic racists? I am shocked. Also apparently bears do shit in the woods!

  • pgjack

    My great disappointment is that I’ll never get the chance to tell her what a piece of crap she is to her face.

  • Greyhame

    By all means, let’s just continue to scrape the bottom of the proverbial barrel until something sticks, and then put whatever it is in charge of all the important things.

  • Greg Comlish

    She complains about women and minorities being ill-served by “special treatment”. But she failed to protest how these programs also created an entire generation of white male cucks, weakening the bloodline and purity of the white race. I’m not sure she has the perspective to represent the current administration.

  • Bebecca

    If it weren’t for those stupid stupid minorities, miss Jackson would be a rocket scientist.

  • Panika MCD

    I’m just going to erase that with Jonathan Byrd singing a song about the Shrub years to remind us what’s coming.

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    Government programs and laws that help minorities have just got to go. Like the Nineteenth Amendment, for instance.

    What the hell are you doing out of the kitchen, you twat? You are a member of one of the minorities that has been helped by those Godawful liberal progressive ideologies. You got yours so everybody else can just go fuck themselves?

  • roberteye

    Freedom, Family, Faith and MOABs. Lots and lots of MOABs.

    • Ducksworthy

      Oh right. I forgot about the slogan change.

  • CripesAmighty

    Jesus. It’s the devil-spawn of Chuck Johnson and Tammy Faye Bakker.

  • The Librarian

    Candice Jackson is the RIGHT(s) choice for Office of Civil Rights, but not a good choice. It’s sorta like making Bannon head of the Office of Jewish Studies.

    • We should have Assad as head of Children Health Services.

  • Ducksworthy

    That look just screams kinder, kuche und kirche.

  • azeyote

    is she gonna lead a march or anything, for her entitled white rights, and show us how she suffers still after all these years –

    • Kitten’sMittens

      From being boring white and unappealing.

  • Alexander Stallwitz
  • Beaufighter

    Does anyone not look idiotic in one of those MAGA hats?

    • Keith Taylor

      I believe they all look monstrously stupid. But then I also believe that at least they’re dressing appropriately.

    • Alan


  • Jeff Mc Donald

    “In today’s society, women have the same opportunities as men to advance their careers, raise families, and pursue their personal goals,”

    And she is correct. Men get pregnant all of the time and have to put their life on hold for the sake of their children, especially when the woman realizes he is pregers and heads for the other side of the country. Happens all of the time in Trump world.

    • Robin518

      Alternate facts.

  • Lark_in_the_AM

    I earned my Ph.D. at Stanford at the same time she was writing those Review articles. We loved them because they made great bedding for our mice when shredded.

    • H0mer0

      [I heard Stamfurd Daily was better anyway]

  • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

    I feel uncharacteristically driven to harass the hell out of this narrow-faced numpty on Twitter. I’m not mean, really, but I feel kind of mean right now.

    • Keith Taylor

      I think that’s downright unreasonable of you. Cannot figure your attitude. It’s not as though that unidentified “Jane Doe” who accused Trump of raping her in tandem with Jeffrey Epstein, when she was thirteen, went through with the charges. And I cannot believe she’d have thought something like, “Oh my God, he’s going to be president! I haven’t got a chance! And one of his crazy supporters might even kill me.” And it’s not as though his first wife ever accused him of violent assault and rape either.
      This woman — and I mean Candice Jackson — is contemptible beyond my powers to describe.

    • Kitten’sMittens

      I wanna go with you!!

  • SadDemInTex

    Just kill me now

  • sadboy

    In earlier times, this would concern me. Since Trump’s election, however, I have decided that spending money to educate Americans is a complete waste. Let them be raised by feral wolves and cable television. After all, our own President is learning ‘on the job’ and is doing great!

  • She’s a perfect rightwing stooge – ready and able to use any power she gets against all of the people she hates. Good for her. I’ll worry about this more after the war with China. We’re all gonna die, you know.

    • Wookie Monster

      More importantly, she’s learned the most important key to being a successful nonwhite male rightwinger:

      And then it struck me, suddenly, like a slow-moving vehicle: That’s how you get a job as a conservative pundit. Figure out what makes you different from a white, male, protestant businessman, and hate your own guts for it.

      If you’re black, hate civil rights. If you’re a woman, hate feminism. If you grew up poor, despise the poor. If you’re a visible minority, demand more profiling. If you’re gay, say you’re cured. If you’re Jewish, praise anti-Semites, if you’re Christian, praise war. If you’re Michelle Malkin… I don’t know where you start with your problems if you’re Michelle Malkin.

  • Rickyphoo

    I know I’m being petty and more then a little catty but those ears! Seriously, if she gets the right amount of head wind and she is airborne!

    Other then that she’s like just about everyone else in the supposed president’s clown car, white, racist, bigoted and bent on fucking up everything that America once stood for.

    • Kitten’sMittens

      Slack Jawed, nuckle dragger… plain as a potatoes. Dopey. Mutant. BORING. That’s what she confronted at the University. The disadvantage of being white boring and unappealing.

  • kitkat

    It’s like someone lost a bet to create the absolute worst administration ever.

    • Gregory Brown

      Or, depending on perspective, someone WON a bet to create the worst administration evar.

      • Strepsi

        and the bet was in rubles.

    • Kitten’sMittens

      Make that greediestes absolute worsteses administration forever

  • There is literally no chance I am clicking on a video where a wingnut sings a “christian country song” on fox and friends. Those are all terrible things when they’re NOT combined into one Vontron of suck.

  • Christopher Boscarino

    “Christian country song?” Thank god. I’m so tired of all those Jewish Country Songs all over the radio. Just the other day I heard the Muslim Country song, “Halal to you, Country Blue” and I thought, why can’t I hear MORE ABOUT JESUS in my Country music?

  • skip1

    Country music singer can send his daughter to Stanford, huh? Isn’t he more like a country club music singer?

  • Alan

    How did she get into Stanford?

    • How did she get out of Stanford? My estimation of Stanford just fell a couple of notches.

  • I’m jus’ glad that the Ol’ Pussy Grabber and his regime is going to save us from edumacated minority-types. Ain’t no nothin’ worse than an edumacated minority unlessin’ it is an edumacated undocumented immigrant. They is the worse. No wait. The absolute worstest is an edumactated Muslim undocumented immigrant socialist animal-breeder taker liberal

    • Kitten’sMittens

      😂 I’m in tears…

  • Tim

    Betsy Devos is just gross and that song sucks (i can tell without even hearing it). But hey, have you noticed something? Where the Fuck is Kelly Anne Connway? She used to be all over in everyone’s space so much that I had the 24hr gags but now not a gaff for weeks. I just love to hate her so much and I’m really kind of worried. You don’t think she was murdered by one of those prostitute hating serial killers do ya? Can you check on that? Maybe look under Bill Clinton’s bed or in Bannon’s closet. Or maybe in Hillary’s private server. It’s unrelated but I don’t know how to fill all this empty gag time and I seem to have acquired a tolerence to trumpspencerspicermillerdevodevilmonstrosity.

  • Kitten’sMittens

    I need to apply at the white house.

  • Truly Madly Derply

    This is the kind of “forwards”-thinking person we need at the ED. Not to mention, really good at wording.

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