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Happy Easter, for those who celebrate it, whether as the Festival of Zombie Christ, or in accordance with earlier traditions! For those who don’t, Happy Weekend! To those who do neither Easter nor Weekends, uh, Hi? I hope your workday is going as well as possible, I guess?

Here in the Deep South, USA, and all across the Northern Hemisphere, spring is breaking out all over the place. Thunder is booming, flowers are blooming, and we have green tree-jizz all over everything. Ew.

Time to pull out our bright, pastel wardrobe, put our Seasonal Affective Disorder away till next fall, and have fun again! Garden parties! Brunch! Potluck dinners! YAY! And I’ve got something you’re gonna want to make.

This quintessential Southern dish is now popular, in myriad variations, all across the USA, but originally was made only in an area I know and love: the Lowcountry of South Carolina. It traces its roots back to the Muskogee Tribe and Gullah Geechee slaves before finding its way to white breakfast tables and, much later, Fine Dining establishments throughout the South and, eventually, the entire country. My version would be perfectly at home in any restaurant on Charleston’s East Bay Street, but I’ve combined the best of several to make something different and, IMNHO, better than any of them. Thank goodness modern refrigeration means we can enjoy this year round, instead of just June through October! Oh! And for those who like thumbing their noses at Jewish Tradition, because, as Christians, they are no longer subject to Kosher dietary laws, it does that, too, while not being boring ham! Today, Pink is going to tell you how you should make

Shrimpngrits!

Best when made in a crowded kitchen, full of chatter, laughter and love, so invite your friends!

Drinkage: This is Brunching With Friends food, so Brunchy drinks, AKA wine. White, Red, Bubbly – it doesn’t matter. They ALL work with this! I suggest one bottle per person. Maybe 2. Feel free to sub pitchers of Bloody Marys, if you prefer. Of course, Sweet Tea for the teetotallers. Because, SOUTHERN, y’all!

Difficulty: 2/10

Time: 2 hours total. PROTIP: Doubling (or more) the recipe adds virtually no time.

Serves 4

WHAT YOU NEED!

Ingredientses
Ingredientses

  • 4 slices bacon
  • ~5 cups chicken stock
  • 1 cup stone-ground yellow grits
  • 1 lb shrimp, peeled, shells reserved
  • 1/2 lb Andouille sausage, coined or diced
  • 1/2 lb mushrooms, sliced thin. I used Baby Bellas.
  • 4 Tbls dehydrated mushrooms
  • ~1 tsp kosher salt
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 tsp cornstarch
  • 1 cup (approx 4 ounces) shredded, extra sharp cheddar cheese
  • 1 cup half-n-half
  • 1/3 cup finely diced red onion.
  • 3/4 tsp minced garlic
  • 1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
  • 6 Tbls butter, divided
  • Fresh juice from one lemon
  • 1 Tbls each, mixed: Parsley, Chives, Tarragon, divided.

WHAT TO DO WITH WHAT YOU NEED!

  • Put 4 cups of chicken stock in a large (6-8 quart) saucepan, turn to medium high.
  • Peel the shrimp.
  • Put the peeled shrimp in a bowl, place in fridge. Put the shells, and 4 Tbls Dehydrated mushrooms, in the stock.
  • Bring stock to a low boil, cook for 20 minutes.
  • In large pan, cook bacon until crispy. Drain on paper towels, remove pan from heat. Pour off bacon grease, reserve for later use.
  • When 20 minutes has passed, pour chicken stock through a strainer into another pot/bowl. Add additional stock to return to 4 cups.
  • Return stock to saucepan, whisk in grits. Quickly bring to a simmer, adjust heat to hold at LOW simmer.
  • Stirring occasionally, simmer grits for 1 1/2 hours.
  • Do your slicing/dicing/chopping. Measure out your seasonings. Set aside in appropriate containers, for later use. This is important. When it’s time to use them, it’s a pretty rapidfire sequence. You won’t have time to chop things later!
  • After 1 1/2 hours, whisk half and half into grits.
  • Once half and half is incorporated, whisk in grated cheese until thoroughly melted and mixed in
  • Return large pan to stove, add 1 Tbls bacon fat. Heat over high heat until barely beginning to smoke.
  • Add shrimp to pan, stirring continuously, until browned but not cooked through (approximately 1 – 1 1/2 minutes). Transfer to plate.
  • Reduce heat to medium high, add 3 Tbls bacon fat.
  • Add mushrooms and cook, stirring, until they release their liquid and become lightly browned (about 10 minutes). If pan becomes too dry, add bacon fat – one tsp at a time – as needed.
  • Add Andouille sausage. Stirring often, cook until heated through (approx 5 minutes).
  • Stir in onion, garlic and cayenne pepper. Cook until onion and garlic are soft, about 2 – 3 minutes.
  • Pour in 3/4 cup of chicken stock, deglaze pan.
  • Whisk in butter until melted and fully emulsified.
  • Stirring continuously, add shrimp, turn off heat but leave on burner 1 -2 minutes
  • Remove from heat. Whisk in 2 Tbls mixed herbs and lemon juice.
  • Spoon grits into bowls. Top with shrimp mixture and gravy.
  • Crumble bacon over shrimp, garnish with remaining herb mix.
  • Serve with fresh cornbread. You DID make cornbread, didn’t you?
  • Ohyeah. THAT’s how you make grits! Super smooth, creamy, cheesy, flavor filled. Then, the shrimp! Plump, tender, bringing a bright, clean flavor to balance the sharp touch of heat from the sausage, the deep, rich gravy accented with the bright notes from the herbs.

    Look at you, with your pink/dark/red/swarthy skin, your ginger/blond/brown/jet black hair, your Asian/European/African/Mideastern genealogy . . . all cutting up, drinking wine, laughing and enjoying each other’s company while also too enjoying something undeniably Southern. You see that, my Stars and Bars waving neighbors? THAT‘s Heritage, Not Hate. Get with the program, y’all!

    [Deep South Magazine]

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  • Anna Elizabeth

    Truly lovely Pinks! :) I <3 Shrimp & Grits, Ima save this one til Payday.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Sounds great … on the list. Except for the tree jizz: that shit makes me sneeze.

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    Shrimp and grits? (I don’t think grits are legal in my state.)

    Throw in catfish and celery and you have what they serve my hell.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      I’m sorry you don’t like good food. *pats shoulder sympathetically*

      • Undocumented Skwerl!

        If God had wanted corn to be adulterated in such a way she wouldn’t have invented HFCS!

  • Anna Elizabeth

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2fd1927efee43110b5a8831aa1bd4673c1881c27d39ec58c9a2f704a41759ff7.jpg

    I like to eat early, so Oven-baked chicken w/ panko, Green Beans w/ New Potatoes, and Naan bread.

  • Chadwells
  • Sister the Resister

    Sounds and looks deeeee-licious! As often comes up for me, being a not-mushroom person, Pinkham, do you think I could leave them out, should I sub something different, and if not, would I adjust other ingredients/spices down a bit?

    • Pinkham’s Law

      You really need the earthy, meaty tones, so you’d need to sub in something if you left them out. Honestly, I’d recommend looking at other Shrimpngrits recipes to see what they use. Perhaps other non-commenters can make some suggestions?

      • Sister the Resister

        Thanks – when it’s a handful of mushrooms, usually just upping the onions or something like that works. But a pound of mushrooms is a pretty substantial thing to change.

      • GemlikeFlame

        I’ve had good luck with a restrained amount of fish sauce. You’ll have to cut back other salt to compensate. There’s always oysters, but those are not canon for Lowcountry grits, more Florida-style. You could also substitute dark chicken meat, but then you’re talking about a grits-based paella.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      My late Mom was allergic to mushrooms. In regards to Pinky talking of earthy, meaty tones, I find that Worchestershire Sauce can give some of that Umami that the mushrooms provide.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Good suggestion!

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Thanx, Pinks. :D

  • memzilla Ω

    This is why we need to develop replicator technology.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Upfist for Stargate reference…

      That was a Stargate reference wasn’t it? Or were you going for the Star Trek version?

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    Isn’t Easter originally a pagan festival? Asking for a friend.

    • Jennifer R

      Every christian holiday is stolen from murdered pagans.

  • theCryptofishist

    Pinkham, off topic here, but I noticed at work (where I do not post, because comments are forbidden) that you were asking about having an eclipse viewing, and whether it would be worth throwing. I’m the wrong coast and my mother and I are heading up to Salem to try our luck, but I think it would be a splendid party, and that if you’re not getting enough interest, then the local wonkers are foolish, or cannot plan ahead–take your choice. And it highlights your generosity. I hope this all works out to bring you maximum satisfaction.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      I have 5 hard yeses (including a couple who decided they’d come to Col’a for the eclipse whether this party happened or not, and have already booked a hotel room), and 7 who said maybe. I’d say that’s a pretty good response for a hypothetical which was only bandied about one day.

      Still gotta get hubby on board, though.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Say, we should hook up for that! I have a 6″ telescope with a good solar filter that will be useful pre- and post- totality!

  • Vecchioivan
  • Wild Cat

    Will it take the farty stench of David Frum’s latest atrocity of deceit in The Atlantic out of my mouth?

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Might want to go with that Syrian Chicken from the other week. LOTS N Lots of flavors to override it.

  • Picabo

    OT but this just too funny. Citizen’s United Airlines commercial.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFnMOhrUT5c

  • Chadwells

    EPIC suing IRS for Dampnut tax returns. Wonder if they’ll get anywhere.

    • Wild Cat

      Nope. Sadly, nope. And who would prosecute? Sessions?

      • Chadwells

        I guess they’re doing a FIOA request…but there’s never been a successful one yet.

  • Chadwells

    Because of course this moronic fuckwit did. Jesus Christ.

    “Report: Kushner found Trump advisor Navarro by browsing Amazon”

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/328969-report-kushner-found-trump-economic-advisor-navarro-by-browsing

    • Vecchioivan

      Are we sure it wasn’t Craigslist?

      • Undocumented Skwerl!

        Or Backpage?

      • mancityRed6

        he wasn’t murdered?

    • Prof. T. Green Bastard

      Somehow, the headline doesn’t even do the stupidity justice.

      He did all the due diligence of a lazy middle schooler & did his homework by going off the covers of a book.

  • BloviateMe

    This ingredient list are all the things good in this world, except grits. The only time I had grits was like 30 years ago, and I didn’t care for them, but I might have to give them a try and see if the palate has changed any, on account of the rest of the ingredients sound absurdly tasty together.

    • Sister the Resister

      For us who didn’t grow up with grits, they can be kind of a hurdle to get over. I find them annoyingly bland and pasty, for instance; a slightly more interesting version of Cream of Wheat, which I also don’t much care for. BUT when you add spices and a good amount of cheese to grits, they become quite palatable to even the most northern white-girl tastebuds. The power of cheese…..

      • Jennifer R

        Eating salt free butter free seasoning free grits is like eating sandy wall paste.

      • BloviateMe

        Cheese is the awesome.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Yes. Yes it is.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Exactly. Only my dad did cream of wheat or hot Ralston cereal (whatever grain that is). The most us kids would do was oatmeal and we all ate it with more resolve than enjoyment.

        • Sister the Resister

          I grew up eating oatmeal and ZOOM cereal (kind of a toasted wheat tasting stuff), but much later got turned onto steel-cut oats, which are a hot cereal unto themselves. Takes about 15 minutes to cook (use a 1/3 cereal to 1 cup water ratio), and I usually stir in raisins or dried cranberries and maybe diced apple, grated ginger if I have some, and a little salt during cooking. Top with butter, brown sugar, and a small amount of half n half when done.

          Something about steel cut oats sticks to the ribs longer than regular oatmeal, and I’m told the steel blades that slice the dry oats into little chunks (instead of smashing them, as with oatmeal) get very hot, and kind of seer the surface of the oat bits as they get chopping, giving the cereal a toasty flavor. Tasty stuff, and a wonderful winter morning meal.

      • mancityRed6

        nope, I’ll still take mashed potatoes anytime. real (with lumps) or from a box, either way.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I’m like the only person I know that likes Grits, courtesy of Dad being from Texas. They need proper seasoning. One trick is a little black coffee poured over, like a tablespoon of coffee.

      Grits got me through last November when the weather was bad and cash was low.

      • BloviateMe

        If I remember right, it was that cream of wheat consistency that I wasn’t real fond of. But I can see that if you’re raised on the stuff, it’d be kool and the gang.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Yeah, I can totes see why they aren’t loved. Properly prepared, they are filling and a great starch to go with meat dishes.

        • Jennifer R

          You can get coarse ground but that may just accentuate the textural issues you don’t like.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Yeah, I think my dad’s Black coffee trick is similar.

        • ahughes798

          I like how they come in different speeds. Slow, 15 minute, and instant. It’s like cream of wheat to me, only using corn. I use butter and a little sugar on breakfast grits.

      • Jennifer R

        Hominy doesn’t do it for me. I’ll eat plain oatmeal all day but hominy must have some bad association for me or something.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Oatmeal is awesome too, and Corn Meal fritters. :) Yes, Hominy is bland by nature. Quick Grits are kind of a plague, too, but they are really, really inexpensive and easy to prepare.

          • Jennifer R

            Bland I can deal with. Big ol bottles of garlic and onion powder are dollar storeable. And when times are better bullion or summer savory.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Preach it! My spice collection is all Dollar Store, plus I keep Sriracha and such. I find Sriracha is a great way to not miss salt.

          • Jennifer R

            When I have a few dollars I pick up stuff I can’t get there, because most things last ages so it feels less like a splurge and more like an investment. Things like the summer savory and a nice bottle of MSG.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Yeah, I’ve been hitting the Big Lots here cos they have a great ethnic and Organic section, some really lovely things. With the meat and produce from the market,I’m eating well and inexpensively.

          • Sister the Resister

            Yeah, big lots is an interesting place – I mostly go there to see what odd ball and “ethnic” foods they’ve got in stock. A lot of times they have remainders from trial soup flavors, for example. Sometimes weird, but once in a while quite delightful.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Just this week I found a lovely Chutney and Naan bread, and I want to try the Coconut flour they carry. I was grooving on this Granola w/ Coconut and Chia they had, but I guess I bought he last 4 boxes they’ll evers get. :)

          • Shanzgood

            They do have some things that are “never outs”. I haven’t been to a BL in a long time but they used to have those items on shelves with a long blue label on them.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Yeah, the pasta made with veggies is a winner, and I tried the flavored club soda they carry and it’s divine. :) Plus, the girls that work there like me, so it’s all good, a mile walk round trip. :)

          • Sister the Resister

            Sriracha makes a damn fine bloody mary, btw. Sub for the tabasco.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            OOh, that’s a good idea! :D

      • mancityRed6

        potatoes. there’s a thousand ways to cook them. it got my dad, his sister, and his mom through when their dad got called up for Korea way back when.

        • BloviateMe

          Potatoes and eggs were a staple in my poor bachelor days. Both were cheap as hell, and you could make them in a bunch of different ways.

          • mancityRed6
          • Anna Elizabeth

            Jasmine rice is amazing. I adore the aroma, and it doesn’t adversely effect what it’s served with.

          • mancityRed6

            I didn’t know I had 35 pounds of rice. I really need that costco membership.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            XD I have 15 pounds of Nishiki on hand right now.

          • Jennifer R

            Steamed rice mixed with raw egg then cooked in a pan with seasonings as desired.

          • mancityRed6

            I bought some cubed ham today so, ham fried rice this week.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Yeah, Ima Queen of potatoes too. :) Plus, when I get mood swingy, potatoes are a salvation. My best therapist, now retired, told me that the carbs in potatoes are like jet fuel for my brain when I’m having panic attacks or mood swings.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      They’re cooked in shrimp & mushroom infused chicken stock, with a cup of half & half and a cup of cheese to finish them. TRUST ME, it’s very much worth trying. If you don’t like them this way, well,fine, you really don’t like grits – but these are far from the bland, watery gruel most have in mind.

      • Shanzgood

        You make them sound…edible.

        • BloviateMe

          Agreed.

          That’s how they get you, the bastards.

      • Sister the Resister

        I suppose for the truly grits-adverse folk, these shrimp would taste pretty fine on a nicely spiced rice. But shrimp-n-grits are a taste unto themselves, and yes the stock and the cheese would make all the difference.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I was introduced to Shrimp n Grits a number of years ago when visiting a friend in Macon, GA, born and bred. I’m not a giant fan of grits, but it’s all about what you put with them. I have a recipe for a breakfast sausage & grits casserole that’s absolutely to die for. I make it anytime I have a weekend breakfast thing to attend because it makes an entire 8 x 11 pan and it’s pretty rich, so a ‘lil bit will do ya. It’s actually a recipe from Quaker that I downloaded from their site and have customized a little.

      • Sister the Resister

        Share! share!

        • Courser_Resistance

          Hopefully Pink won’t mind me stepping into his territory…

          I use Quick Grits, but however you want to do it, prepare 3 cups of Grits.

          Other ingredients

          12 oz – 1 lb bulk breakfast sausage
          7 eggs, beaten
          2 cups sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
          2 Tbs butter or margarine
          1/2 tsp Cayenne pepper
          1 sm onion, chopped to taste (from very fine to chunky depending on your taste)
          Clove or two of garlic, if it’s your thing (optional)
          2 green onions, cleaned and chopped (for top of casserole)

          Fry up a package of bulk breakfast sausage (12 oz – 1 lb) until just done while you’re cooking your grits. Spread the cooked sausage in the bottom of a 9×12 baking dish.
          If you want your onions a little milder, you can saute them, otherwise, combine the beaten eggs, cheese (reserve a bit or use extra for topping), butter, spices (salt, pepper, cayenne to taste) & garlic. Combine the egg mixture with the slightly cooled grits and pour into the baking dish over the sausage.
          Top with chopped green onions and more cheddar cheese & pop into a 350 degree oven until set in the middle, about 20-25 minutes. Cool for 10 minutes then cut into squares. You can even package up squares and freeze them then just pull them out of the freezer and nuke for a couple minutes for a quick, on-the-go breakfast. The squares are pretty sturdy, so they usually won’t make a huge mess.

          I hope you enjoy!

          • Sister the Resister

            sounds good, thanks!

  • DerrickWildcat

    Liberals have attacked Easter to the point that Christians now have to hide their Easter eggs.

    • Vecchioivan

      I was awarded the Purple Bunny in the War on Easter. True story.

      • Shoto

        Thank you for your service.

        • Rosannahpyle

          Managing director of Google!, is explaining to users to start off “Work at home” method, that People have been doing for about one year now. These days alone, I generated close to $36,000 until now with no more than my home computer as well as some spare time, despite that i have a fulltime 9 to 5 job. Even everyone not used to this, can make $89/per h easily and the earnings can go even higher over time… This is how i started
          !wr387c:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs387ReportWorld/GetPaid$97/Hour ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫:::!wr387u:…….

        • Dolorespjefferies

          Managing director of Google!, is explaining to users to start off “Work at home” method, that People have been doing for about one year now. These days alone, I generated close to $36,000 until now with no more than my home computer as well as some spare time, despite that i have a fulltime 9 to 5 job. Even everyone not used to this, can make $89/per h easily and the earnings can go even higher over time… This is how i started
          !sr192c:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs482ShopSitesGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!sr192c:….,……..

      • ManchuCandidate

        Wuss. I got the Chocolate Medal of Hershey and three Silver Kisses. But that’s because I kwilled da wabbit.

      • eggsacklywright

        You’re the true Warren Easter.

    • Shoto

      #WaronEaster

      — Bill O’Reilly

    • Sister the Resister
    • mancityRed6

      I stopped buying chocolate bunnies when I moved away from a good dealer.

    • calliecallie

      Mr. calliecallie the other day mistakenly referred to Good Friday as Black Friday. I think that says it all for the commercialization of holidays.

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        Pastel Friday?

  • Chadwells
    • Prof. T. Green Bastard

      What? They’re very driven by their families. Everybody else’s families, however, can get fucked.

      • Thaumaturgist

        You didn’t get elected POTUS. Donald did.

        • Prof. T. Green Bastard

          Born on 3rd base, convinced they hit a triple. The fall is going to be long & epic.

          • GunToting[Redacted]

            I used to say the same thing about Shrub. With *45 I’ve revised the last line to “thinks he invented baseball.

    • ManchuCandidate

      The family that grifts together stays together.

    • HorseChestnut

      Other family-driven institutions include monarchies, the mob, and those wacky Charles Manson kids.

      • eggsacklywright

        And Warren Jeffs!

        • ahughes798

          And “Quiverfull” evangelical christians like the Diddlers!

      • Nockular cavity

        The Medicis

  • Jgb979

    Substitute pimento cheese for cheddar for an extra dose of old-south heart attack you diabet you’ll have a good time goodness

  • Jennifer R

    Just realized that Un is sporting about 3/4 of a fashy. Grow it out a little more and the spencer brigade would love him.

  • DerrickWildcat

    Do only Christians celebrate Easter or do Evangelicals celebrate it too?

    • Sister the Resister

      Evangelicals are Christians. And yes, they celebrate Easter.

      • DerrickWildcat

        fake news!

  • JMP

    That could not possibly be the best thing you can put in your mouth, because it includes grits, which are not food and no one should ever, ever put in their mouth at all.

    • Shanzgood

      I’m not keen on grits, either.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Pass ’em here. XD Seriously, when my friends pick restaurants that serve Grits as a matter of course, they literally just push them to me.

        • Shanzgood

          I admit this recipe makes them look worth eating but I’d be scared of the 1/2 & 1/2 and cheese so I’d probably have to give it a miss.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Do you like rice? Shrimp and rice would be pretty tasty.

          • Shanzgood

            Yes! I love rice!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Me too. :) A good seasoned bed of rice would set off Pink’s shrimp nicely.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        If you prepare them like oatmeal or something, they suck.

        That being said, have you tried New Orleans style Shrimp and Grits?

        Honestly, people in the South at some nice restaurants have figured grits out.

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    OT: Protesters roughed up at a Trump rally are suing Donald, his campaign and the goons who attached them. One of said goons says he only did so because Donald “inspired” him to act and, therefore, if he’s required to compensate the plaintiffs Donald should pay, not him. Donald is saying he has immunity. Funny how they throw each other under the bus.

    http://flip.it/7ikLiJ

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Cowardly Bullies gonna cower.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      No Donnie Dumbass, you don’t get immunity for doing dumb shit before you were sworn in.

  • HorseChestnut

    Your pictures are better, but you spelled scrimps wrong.

    ETA: I feel like most people who don’t like grits have only had the instant kind. Those aren’t really good, at all. It’s a bigger difference than even instant vs. regular oats.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Better lighting helps.

  • Chadwells

    How can anyone not like grits, hominy or hominy grits?? It’s corn FFS?!? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/533697cb5b24cc2d7b7c5b2a0b133277a69f0357e21dfa6e45ddf9e79426edc1.gif

    • Shanzgood

      Nope.

      • Chadwells

        HAH!

      • Chadwells

        What about cream of wheat?

        • Shanzgood

          I haven’t eaten it since I was a kid and my mom made it lumpy for me.

          • Chadwells

            Soooo…is that another nope? I don’t mind it lumpy but that isn’t my objective cooking it!

          • Shanzgood

            The only way I could eat it now would be to use it as a conduit for a bunch of other stuff I can’t eat any more. On its own, it would be nasty.

          • Prof. T. Green Bastard

            I make it for myself still: made w milk, otherwise plain, heavy on the lumps.

            ITS THE BEST. PERIOD.

          • eggsacklywright

            Same here. I liked it lumpy, with a little brown sugar.

          • Chadwells

            Hell yeah!!! Butter and sugar!

          • Shanzgood

            And lots of butter and 1/2 & 1/2. That’s when those things didn’t hurt me.

          • eggsacklywright

            Zackly. My mom thought I was too skinny and snuck eggs into my milkshakes.

          • Yr. Gma

            I wonder if I’ve been sneaking eggs into my milkshakes when I have not been looking because I am certainly not too skinny.

          • eggsacklywright

            Sadly, I no longer have the skinny problem either.

        • DerrickWildcat

          My neighbor eats millet. I think he grew up during The Depression or something.

    • DerrickWildcat

      My grandparents made me eat it. Do not like.

      • Chadwells

        My mom was the worst cook on the planet…but the only thing she ever cooked right was large curd hominy and I guess that made me like it in all forms!

        • Sister the Resister

          No, MY mom was the worst cook on the planet! I never knew a vegetable that she couldn’t overcook, and what, you mean there’s something besides bland overcooked meat?

          Actually, she’s much better now. First thing that changed was that our whole family went vegetarian at one point when all four of us kids were teens, and she finally learned how to cook veggies lightly, bringing a whole new flavor world to my awareness. The second thing is that when she went back to eating meat, she was doing Weight Watchers, and learning new recipes. She makes pretty good food now, but the first 60 years… yeesh….

          • Yr. Gma

            I will put my mother up against anybody’s in the worst cook contest.

          • Sister the Resister

            My mother, the perhaps-worsest cook on the planet pre-1980, was the daughter of an absolutely excellent cook. Go figure.

          • Yr. Gma

            MIne, too.

        • Doug Langley

          My mom wouldn’t touch anything that wasn’t busting with carbs. The only reason we had any meat at all was because dad wanted it. Sis and I tried to convince her to serve something leaner like veggies (her idea of salad was Jello and fruit cocktail). One day we walked in and she said “Well, here’s your fruit and veggies!” She had bought half a dozen bunches of bananas.

          • Chadwells

            LOL…moms.

    • mancityRed6

      dad ate a lot of creamed corn when I was growing up. the texture of food is a big deal for me.

      • Prof. T. Green Bastard

        Eek! There’s the limits of my corn-lust right there. Creamed corn is the devil’s jizz.

        • BloviateMe

          I view creamed corn as a personal attack.

          Hate.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        My dad used to make what he called “Squirrel Stew”, but it was slow cooked roast beef and onion stew, served over dry white sandwich bread.

        :P Semen tastes better, and has better texture.

        • mancityRed6

          I’ll take your word for it on the latter.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            XD

    • The Witch of Endor

      I love grits, but I’m one of those Philistines who eats them with butter and a little sugar rather than savory. But savory grits are the only way to eat shrimp & grits and this looks like a great recipe, Pinkham.

    • Marion in Savannah

      I grew up in NYC, but also with grits, since my grandfather was from Charleston. I just LOVE me some grits. Mr. MinS, however, says loudly and forcefully that “GRITS AIN’T GROCERIES.” [sigh]

  • mancityRed6
    • Anna Elizabeth

      That looks amazing! :)

      • mancityRed6

        when I first made it, that’s when I learned that an electric oven will shut itself off if it’s on for 12 hours. prep time is at least 7. it’s easy and lasts for days if you don’t share, but it takes a good 20 hours to make. not bad for about $10

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I’m in for that! I have a gas oven now in my new pad, and I love good food that can be enjoyed for days. :)

    • MizzMazz

      Hmm. I sent Pinkham my version, but it wasn’t very clear or concise, just like I cook. I mean to send a re-write with actual measurements, and we can have a pork-off. Wait, that didn’t sound right. Maybe I’ll just submit my ‘Busy Day Chicken’ recipe.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Pork Off! Pork Off! XD

      • mancityRed6

        the time is the only hurdle. at least 7 hours to brine, and at least 12 hours to cook with another 2 before you can take it out of the oven. I used to put it in the fridge about 3, and the oven about 10 just so I could wake up easy. and you need good forks to tear it up.

        • MizzMazz

          Yup, I use a slow cooker, so I can set it and leave it. I’ve done it in the smoker too, but for what you give up with the nice browned bits, it makes up for in juiciness. Gotta hit the road, but wouldn’t mind talking more about this pork-off ;)

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Have a good day, Hun. :) Pork-off! Pork-off!

  • kareemachan

    I think it is because I have a nasty chest/sinus virus right now, but this doesn’t look good to me AT ALL. I’ll come back and re-read it when I’m feeling better.

    PS – nothing sounds good to me right now, except a mimosa. Healthy and carbonated….

    • The Witch of Endor

      Feel better!

      • kareemachan

        Thank you. I’m gonna hibernate with OJ and a magnum of bubbles til I’m over this. I don’t really mind not feeling hungry, but then I get hypoglycemic and bitchy. Sigh.

  • Chadwells

    Soooo…update on my wife’s drug test. She stayed MMJ free for 13 days. We did a ToxinRid 10 day cleanse. Ate a good high fiber diet, fruits, protein yada yada yada. Test was today…she smoked last night.

    Apparently the nursing school recorded that she retested and passed…which she didn’t. She notified them like 5 times that she had, in fact, not retested. They didn’t seem to care. So she smoked last night.

    Of course I wish she hadn’t. Why go 13 days, do a $200 cleanse program, etc….only to bail right at the finish line the night before? And what if they change their minds and ask for the retest results…which they are full allowed to do? At least she would have had them if she just waited 12 more hours and then we could have smoked a pound!!!

    Wifes…amirite?

  • ahughes798

    Hey, Mr. Pinkham, I have a question for you. I love shrimp and grits, but I do not like andouille sausage, so I’ve always made it without it, which makes me a monster. But do you think Chorizo (Mexican or Spanish style) would make a good substitute? Thanks!

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I like andouiile and Chorizo, I think it’s worth trying, myself. :)

      • msanthropesmr

        BACON BACON

        • The Witch of Endor

          Let me guess, would you like more bacon with your shrimp & grits?

          • msanthropesmr

            Aktually, I use Bacon instead of sausage in Shrimp and Grits. And then I fry the scrimps in the Bacon Fat.

          • The Witch of Endor

            Ooh. I like the use of bacon fat.

      • The Witch of Endor

        I’ve found most chorizo to be too far on the sour side for my taste. I’ve never had andouille but I’ve always assumed it had elements I’d find in, say, kielbasa but spicier. I’ve used kielbasa in jambalaya as well as shrimp & grits but I have no idea if I’ve improved on or desecrated the dishes.

        • msanthropesmr

          Hey man – every culture has their sausage. I dig em all.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I wouldn’t say desecrated. :) I love a good Kielbasa, and if you enjoyed your meals I think you did it right. The andouille I’ve had was quite spicy hot, but I love spicy hot. I ate stuff one time that had driven a US Army Ranger sergeant to his knees, and i just smiled.

          • The Witch of Endor

            Well, so much of Cajun and Creole cooking is about spice. I love the spice, but I can no longer eat it without grave and drawn out consequences. :(

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I feel for you. I’m careful when sharing food, I don’t ask anyone to eat as spicy as I like it, and it is *not* funny to burn your guests with “surprises”.

            I can cook rounded and flavorful without a burn when necessary.

        • Sister the Resister

          I use turkey kelbassa for everything. I love the taste of pork sausage, but pork sausage, as they say, doesn’t love me. Being a philistine, I use the turkey kelbassa in all kinds of cuisines, and it seems to be pretty versatile, taking whatever spices the dish features quite well.

    • The Witch of Endor

      What don’t you like about the sausage? Flavor or spiciness? I’m assuming it’s one or the other.

      • msanthropesmr

        BACON BACON BACON

      • ahughes798

        It’s the flavor. Spiciness I don’t mind.

    • msanthropesmr

      BACON! BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON!

      BACON

    • Pinkham’s Law

      It wouldn’t be “authentic,” but who cares? I’d give it try. Make sure you use something with a bit of heat, but NOT overly hot. It’s one of the supporting cast, not the lead.

      • ahughes798

        Thank you! Your shrimp and grits are on the menu for next week.

  • Chadwells

    Soooo…update on my wife’s drug test. She stayed MMJ free for 13 days. We did a ToxinRid 10 day cleanse. Ate a good high fiber diet, fruits, protein yada yada yada. Test was today…she smoked last night.

    Apparently the nursing school recorded that she retested and passed…which she didn’t. She notified them like 5 times that she had, in fact, not retested. They didn’t seem to care. So she smoked last night.

    Of course I wish she hadn’t. Why go 13 days, do a $200 cleanse program, etc….only to bail right at the finish line the night before? And what if they change their minds and ask for the retest results…which they are full allowed to do? At least she would have had them if she just waited 12 more hours and then we could have smoked a pound!!!

    Wifes…amirite? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0ce34b8b16cf1d428044b5d1de1af0324ed7ed58ebd9cc53a1c72aaa939cb009.gif

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    “Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.” Will Donnie, Jr. & Eric dim the lights for you?

    Leona Helmsley goes to prison and her husband orders lights off on the Empire State Building as a symbolic gesture in 1992

    A mourning Harry Helmsley ordered the Empire State Building lights to switch off last night as his wife, hotel queen Leona Helmsley, spent her first night away in a Kentucky prison.

    “Mr. Helmsley doesn’t want the lights on,” said building representative Freddie Colon, who answered the phone at the Helmsley-owned property.

    • Chadwells

      And who put her in jail? He got Rudy in his pocket.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        The Feds. “Taxes are for the little people.”

        • Chadwells

          Rudy Giuliani!

  • Little Lulu Ω

    I love shrimp and grits! In Charleston we called cooked grits “hominy” unlike the rest of the people of the South (and, yes, I know hominy is technically those big yellow corn clumps, but nobody eats that shit for breakfast). There’s the “Hominy Grill” in downtown Charleston where you can eat shrimp and grits at every meal, as God intended.

    This looks like a good recipe fer shur, the way smart people make it; unless you want to take forever and cook them the way they’re prepared in The Lee Brothers Cookbook. Their version of this classic is unGODly delicious. All my favorite Charleston recipes are in there, especially the ones I grew up eating, e.g., apple float, Huguenot torte, that I can find nowhere else.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    I think I’m only about 6 weeks away from wearing a bikini in public, if I can get my hernia fixed soon as well.

    Walking for miles and eating salads and such are working. :)

  • TundraGrifter

    I’m partial to polenta (Italian grits). I prefer the rolled kind that you just slice and fry. Excellent with either red sauce or that green stuff some people like. Plenty of Asiago, Parmesan and Romano cheese and garlic bread. Even a salad on the side.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I love polenta too. :)

  • HazooToo

    I like my grits with both white and brown sugar, milk, and butter.

    • msanthropesmr

      I like my grits with honey
      I’ve done it all my life
      It makes the grits taste funny
      But it keeps them on my knife

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Fucking libtard!

      • HazooToo

        Drooling prog!

  • msanthropesmr
    • Only so i know where to hurl my aborted chicken fetuses

    • Panika MCD

      shh…don’t tell him about the National Cathedral!

    • Little Lulu Ω

      Nope.

    • Doug Langley

      I just assumed he would spend the day in front of a mirror.

  • calliecallie

    OMG that looks to die for!

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Well, I think it’s pretty damn good, but dying? That might be getting a tad bit carried away, don’cha think?

  • Blueb4sunrise
    • Rick Hill

      Canned shrimp?

      • Teecha

        You MONST…

        Oh. Shrimp. Sorry. As you were.

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        Yes, but they were “fresh caught”.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Objection! That’s a PORK substitute, not a Shrimp sub.

      • Blueb4sunrise

        You’re right. My bad. How about for the sausage? Ann & Andy Uille

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Goodness. Beautiful. All the better if you can get get the shrimp from coastal Carolina or Georgia — this used to be incredibly common, but the shrimp boats are just a memory at many locations I recall in Chatham Co. (but most know where the good stuff is still to be found). Jeeze, sounds like some forbidden substance …

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Mine were gifted to me by a friend, to whom they were gifted straight off the boat in Edisto. Been in my freezer for a while, but, yeah. Edisto scrimps are something special.

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        In Fall, a visit to friends in Frogmore always includes getting shrimp. Off the boat as well. Some good places in Savannah as well.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    youTube just showed me the “Danger Zone” video. XD I forgot how fucking Gay “Top Gun” was. If you edited Kelly McGillis out, it’s a Slap-Slap-Kiss meet-cute for Maverick & Iceman.

    • Nounverb911

      Bottas’s flying lap in Bahrain Q3:
      https://twitter.com/F1/status/853302710170402817

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Sweet! I wonder if he’ll take it all today? Ima still pulling for Vettel, of course, and the Iceman might want to show the team he’s still got it.

    • Nasty Candy Apple

      I would watch that porno.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Me too. i bet Iceman is a Top.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Are you just now learning this about Tom Cruise?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Naw, it was just a memory jolt. Yeah, poor baby would be sooooo much happier if he’d Come Out.

        • katkelly57

          Kelly McGillis did.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I did not know that! :)

          • katkelly57

            Ya learn sumthin’ new every day….at least I try to, problem is retaining it.

    • Teecha

      We saw Cocktail a couple of years back at the cinema unde the stars at my local amphitheatre.

      It was camper than a row of pink tents. No idea how we watched it when it was first shown without seeing that.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        XD Yeah, I didn’t get how Gay Top Gun was back in the theater in ’86 either. Now, I can’t see anything else.

      • Fancy Meau-Faux

        I highly recommend the book Cocktail by Heywood Gould. The movie is supposedly based on it, but mostly the characters have the same names and that’s about it.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Nasty Candy Apple

      I hope Lizzie tells him to go fuck himself. He doesn’t deserve a carriage ride, he’s trash.

      • Teecha

        I hope there’s an ‘accident’ when they take him shootin’ and huntin’

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I wonder if he isn’t making more and more extravagant demands so he has an excuse not to go and be protested loudly by, essentially, Europe.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I do love to see the Life Guards in full regalia. :)

  • Nasty Candy Apple

    Holy fuck, that’s beautiful.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Thanks! Made it for Bro in Law’s birthday last week. Went over REALLY well!

      • Panika MCD

        maybe Bro in Law has some ideas of how to get Hubby’s Law to accept a Wonketariate party…?

  • Jonny On Maui

    *sigh*

    This topic has been covered, but it’s the food post so let’s have some seconds.

    My exposure to grits occurred when I went overseas to Georgia in the mid 70s. Yes, I was forced to try them in every conceivable way. Sweet, sugar, syrup of different flavors. Spicy, tobasco, pepper, jalapenos. Cow influenced, butter, milk, cream and other cheeses. I came away with one thing.

    Grits are not fit for human consumption along with cabbage and anything cabbage like. YMMV…

    • Pinkham’s Law

      And, you know what? I’m ok with that. You’ve tried them a bunch of different ways, and they don’t work for you. That’s fair and reasonable. I just hate it when someone bases their dislike on one experience with what may have been horrible food. Eat what tastes good to you!

      • Jonny On Maui

        Hmmm. Cora must be nice if she’s after both of us…

    • Rick Hill

      Ok, the cabbage part is proof you are actually some type of fungal entity that’s learned to navigate the interwebs. Nice try, spore bearer!

      • Marion in Savannah

        She certainly is PERSISTENT, isn’t she?

        • Marion in Savannah

          I meant Cora, of course…

  • Rick Hill

    “THAT’s how you make grits! Super smooth, creamy, cheesy, flavor filled.”

    So…the only way to eat them is make them have some flavor? Idk. I had them a couple times when I was in the Navy. I wasn’t convinced it wasn’t some type of government assperiment. I also have never seen a grit plant.

  • Teecha

    I’ve googled grits. I’ve looked closely at that photo.

    I’m still not entirely sure what they are. Semolina texture? Or more like quinoa? Do they taste of anything or are they more a carrier of flavour a la couscous?

    I’ll be eating lamb on Sunday, after I’ve been to work. As is the tradition elsewhere in Christendom*. But I have no Easter egg – poor me.

    *although I’m twisting tradition by having lamb and feta burgers with lambs leaf lettuce on account of 35C is too hot to cook a roast dinner.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Imagine cream of wheat but made out of corn and absolutely no flavor whatsoever. Also, creamy…but gritty.

      • Teecha

        I appreciate you taking time to reply. I can’t imagine. I have no idea what cream of wheat is either. How do you cream wheat? Is it like mashed weetabix? Or puréed sweetcorn?

        I have no concept of this. It’s not a thing I’ve ever come across. The only non-dairy cream thing I comprehend is cream of tomato soup in a can.

        Gritty? Like eating sandwiches on the beach and getting sand in them?

        This whole post has raised a load of questions.

        • Courser_Resistance

          Okay, I’ll try to help here. Um… okay, can you relate to risotto? Rice cooked slowly (Ala John Podesta – sometimes risotto is just risotto), so that it’s creamy. Do you recognize plain corn meal? Grits is just a variety of corn meal that’s ground very fine, so that when it’s cooked in water, it gets creamy. It’s not really gritty, like sand. More grain-y, like eating brown bread with grain bits in it.

          Does that help?

          ETA: More background. The term ‘creamy’ seems like it’s causing confusion. Basically, when grains are dry and ground up, the added to boiling water, the starches are released, which gives the dish a ‘creamy’ appearance and helps to thicken it. Cream of wheat is finely ground wheat (but not flour), added to boiling water = cream of wheat. Most of it has little to no flavor on it’s own, but it’s fairly inexpensive and so many cultures have used it as a staple.

          • Teecha

            I do recognise and eat risotto (I make a very nice asparagus and pea risotto and also a beetroot and apple one which is a treat with lamb)

            I have never seen or experienced cornmeal. I know what corn powder is coz I bought some to thicken a pie filling (which was a revolting experiment- I do not want a pie to wobble- never again)

            These are things I don’t think we have in Britain. Certainly not in the bits I’ve lived in.

            I get the grainy rather than gritty. Thank you.

          • Courser_Resistance

            I can see that. Corn is a new world grain for the most part. I don’t recall seeing it there when I visited the UK in the 80s.

            Grain corn is just a variety of the sweet corn that you’d buy tinned or frozen except that it’s allowed to dry. A big part of the US economy is actually based in corn and we rely on it at least as much as we do wheat. All kinds of animal feed, biofuel and a huge variety of corn-based baked goods and, of course, high-fructose corn syrup.

          • Teecha

            Thanks!

          • Teecha

            Ok. Thanks for the creamy info! Makes sense. I was having trouble coz I was envisioning a dairy thing and couldn’t marry the two in my mind.

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          Cream of wheat is like a porridge. Think oatmeal ground fine and then cooked.

          Corn meal isn’t like cornstarch (which I think is called corn flour in the UK). It’s dried kernels of corn, ground into a coarse meal. If you’re familiar with polenta, that’s made with a type of cornmeal.

          • Teecha

            Thank you!

            Oatmeal is a thing I’ve only seen in the last couple of years. My friend uses it to keep the slugs at bay in her garden.

            I’m more used to porridge with rolled oats, but I tried it with oatmeal and it was a different texture. More like readybrek.

            Have also tried polenta- so it’s like that but more grainy.

            By Jove, I think I’ve got it!

        • Pinkham’s Law

          When grits are gritty, it usually means they were cooked too quickly and/or with too little liquid .Look at the proportions and time here. 1 cup grits, 5 cups liquid. Two hours, to give it tie to soften. Both make a huge difference..

    • Panika MCD

      it’s basically cheese.

    • puredog

      Though I have shared your confusion, I am now pretty sure that grits
      1. Are nothing but cornmeal, and
      2. Preferably of coarse consistency.
      These would be yellow grits. White grits still confound me.

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        Clorox.

      • Teecha

        I don’t know what cornmeal is either- is it like flour?

        This is another thing where we realise and appreciate the many and various differences between our cultures!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Hominy grits, maybe? The hard hull is ‘cooked’ off with lye.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      White grits have very little flavor, and absolutely require additions to make them palatable. Think Cream of Wheat blandness, only with a bare hint of corn flavor. Yellow Grits are more flavorful, and can do with less additives, but aren’t exactly strong, themselves. Either, however, is a flavor sponge, especially if the flavor is in the liquid. Notice that I used 5 cups of liquid for 1 cup of grits.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Does creamy polenta help?

  • William
  • BadKitty904

    This dish is a staple in our local diet – I don’t think I’ve passed a single week in my life without eating some. I’ve also spent a good portion of my life listening to arguments over the best way to prepare these mighty tasty victuals!

  • HazooToo

    Hey guys, my easter eggs of 2 hours ago just finished drying and they look like 28 karat gold. Anybody have a really good recipe for deviled eggs? I would ask Dr Ahmed, but I’m afraid he’s too busy saving people’s marriages.

    • Sister the Resister

      marriages… deviled eggs.. pretty much the same thing, amirite?

      • HazooToo

        They both require paprika!

    • grindstone

      I hope I’m not too late to this, but yes. Slice the hard boiled eggs, gently flex them and the yolk will pop out. To the yolks add (just enough to create a paste): mayo, mustard, salt, pepper, a tiny splash of vinegar and paprika. Blend it all together. Taste and adjust. I usually add celery seed to mine, because I like the taste. Transfer to a ziplock sandwich bag. Cut off a bottom corner, pipe into your arranged egg halves. If you’re my husband, top with a smidge of sweet relish. If you’re a Disney villain, top with a slice of olive. If you’re a monster, top with canned clams. (kidding)

      • HazooToo

        Perfect timing, actually, thank you!

  • OT: but if you guys haven’t read the article here, go do it now!

    https://twitter.com/JoyAnnReid/status/853319025803317249

  • Our neighborhood is a designated ‘Feral Cat Community’ so today I paid 25 bucks for a huge smoked Boston Butt to support the kitties and their welfare.

    ARE WE NOT GOD?!?

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      You did good.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      But what if they are Jewish or Muslim kittehs? What are they going to eat?

    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      I’m gonna swim against the tide here, much as I love kitties. Cats kill billions of songbirds every year in the US. I’d really rather feral cats were rounded up & euthanized.

      • Serai 1

        Sorry, but that’s a myth. Very few of the animals cats kill are birds. The vast majority are rodents and lizards. Certainly it’s nowhere near “billions”.

    • gkshenaut

      Skimming quickly, I doubletook sharply after interpreting this as “Our neighborhood is a designated ‘Fried Cat Community’…”

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

    It says “the best thing I’ll ever put in my mouth” and I don’t see Dean anywhere. I has confuse.

    • Me not sure

      Is he gritty?

    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      Are you talking about Jimmy Dean, or your BF?

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Lol. I binge watch supernatural when I’m cooking!

  • Pookabun

    I have never had grits, kinda scared of it (them?). Is it kind of like polenta?

    • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

      I think maybe it’s the stuff in pozole. And who doesn’t like pozole?https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9dfd68c5ed890e9107fe0b2fa05681344f2f8dd1a38b89c3c544e28e688c5e3f.jpg

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        Do you deliver? Please tell me you deliver!

      • Peripatetic Poltroon

        Damn I haven’t have a good bowl of pozole since I left californy. But grits ain’t hominy (less it’s ground). Can you believe my spellchecker has neither polenta not pozole?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i’m scared of most foods, but grits are harmless. Had ’em once on the road…add butter. Makes ’em good.

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        You’re scared of food? Don’t look, but there’s a PB&J sandwich right behind you! The sandwich is calling from INSIDE the house!

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        I seem to recall an old saying, thought to be Russian: you can’t spoil porridge with butter.

    • katkelly57

      Same…white corn vs. yellow.

      Also the other difference btwn the two is 15 bucks per plate.

      My favorite way to eat them is w/salt, pepper, butter and sometimes an egg on top.
      Others like it sweet.

      • DrBadFish

        Grits are made of hominy, which is corn treated with lye to make the niacin available for digestion. Grits taste a little different from polenta, but they’re very good. And generally cheaper.

        • Peripatetic Poltroon

          My googling (Google never lies) is that grits are sometimes hominy, sometimes corn. I’ll have to try both.

      • Me not sure

        Savory! NEVER SWEET!! Yuck. You got it right the first time.

      • Peripatetic Poltroon

        Ridiculous there is a price difference. Polenta is dirt cheap to make.

        • katkelly57

          I guess you didn’t get the joke….

    • eyelashviper

      Best grits ever, use the kind that does NOT take an hour and a half, and add goat cheese once they are cooked, season with salt and pepper, and enjoy!!!!

      • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

        I did that just this morning, except I like to stir in a splash of olive oil (instead of butter). But the goat cheese adds so much yumminess.

    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      Pretty close. Grits are just a coarser grind than cornmeal, which is what you make polenta with.

    • cheetojeebus

      Grits is one of those semi regional delicacies that gets the side eye unfairly. It ain’t scrapple, nor scrumpy and it isn’t cooked in a damn stomach. Polenta is a cousin. You can get it as far north as Pennsylvania. You can divide people into two camps, those that add stuff to it and those that see that as sacrilege. I’m a purist. Salt pepper and butter and if I’m feeling crazy maybe a bit of broken up bacon. I also like it’s momma, Hominy corn. You can get stone ground ‘artisanal’ stuff from the deep south. It comes in a little drawstring bag and is a treat.
      Tomorrow’s lesson, Okra, study up kiddos.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vel5wqOURMo

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        Scrapple! Yummy!

        • Jeffery Campbell

          Scapple is crapple.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            Bite your tongue, you heathen.

      • r m reddicks

        Can I add some goetta to it?

        • cheetojeebus

          A variation on scrapple? Are you mad?!!/ Why don’t you just stab me? go on! have you no humanity?

  • E.A. Blair

    “Happy Easter, for those who celebrate it, whether as the Festival of Zombie Christ, or in accordance with earlier traditions!”

    Jesus is not a zombie; he is a lich! The difference? A zombie is a mindless undead automaton, possibly under the control of another; a lich is an undead being that retains the personality and intellect it had when it was a living being. If you believe Jesus existed as depicted in the gospels (and even if you don’t), you can clearly see that his post-death behavior is not zombie-like.

  • Lemmy_Caution

    Nice Recipe however, too complicated and too many ingredients for Old School Lowcountry Shrimp and Grits. Until the last 20 years or so, the only way someone in McLellanville or Georgetown could get Andouille would have been to drive to Louisiana and buy it. Sure, you probably could have found it in Charleston but I never saw it. Also, I was told ‘we don’t add milk, cream or cheese to grits unless we’re expecting a foreigner for dinner’ this was from our Gullah Nanny Anabelle and 2nded by my mother and grandmother. Foreigner would have included people from anywhere to the North.
    Can’t argue with the chicken stock as a deglaze though.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      “Nice recipe.”

      Coming from someone who, apparently, grew up with Old School Grits, I’ll take that as a compliment. Thank you!

      “too complicated and too many ingredients for Old School Lowcountry Shrimp and Grits.”

      We agree! But I never claimed this was Old School. As I said another person, waaaaaay downthread, you should eat what tastes good to you. If simple, classic shrimp & grits is what you grew up with, I can certainly see why you might prefer that.

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        It’s like all these YouTube videos of how to fix the perfect scrambled egg. There is only one way to fix a perfect scrambled egg and that’s the way YOU like it. All other ways are wrong.

      • medcannabis1

        the joy of cooking is not always being fast and easy…
        Share the prep process with some you love and puff puff pass… and enjoy Easter..

    • grindstone

      Pinkham uses House Autry products, so I forgive the andouille. Plus, you can get it more easily these days and it’s so tasty! I’ve always used Crook’s Corner’s recipe for shrimp and grits, but this one looks goooooood.

  • Major_Major_Major

    My only complaint, for a southern recipe, it should be yall, or you’ll for second person plural.

  • Yr. Gma

    My mother used to do scrambled eggs with hominy. It’s really a wonder I lived at all.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    OMG, OMG, OMG!
    This looks so good!

  • Red Bird Ω

    Corn

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    Andouille? No he don’t.

  • Peripatetic Poltroon

    A couple of questions:
    1. Dried shrooms? Can I just dump 1/2 lb sliced bellas/criminis into the stock instead, because mushrooms rock?
    2. You don’t mention if the parsley/chives/tarragon are dried or fresh. I ain’t no southern cook; I have no damn idea.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      1. YES! I regularly buy shrooms which are marked down, bring them home, and dehydrate them. 1/4 pound would sub nicely for the 4 Tbs specified.
      2. Measurements given are for dried. Fresh would, of course, be better, but you’d have to look up the amount to sub. MOST dried herbs pack more flavor per ounce than fresh, but not all, so google first!

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        Um….did you not de-vein your shrimp? Please tell me you de-veined your shrimp.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Of course not. Nobody actually de-veins shrimp.

          • Jeffery Campbell

            Only Martha S and other assorted persnicketies.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    I’m a lazyass cooker person on occasion. For that reason, I offer my 10-minute shrimp and grits. Here are your ingredients:

    Instant cheddar grits (you’ll need water with that; follow directions!)
    Microwavable precooked bacon
    Frozen (but thawed) pre-cooked shelled shrimp, as many shrimpies as you want
    Sliced green onion
    Sliced mushrooms (dealer’s choice on what kind)
    Shredded cheddar cheese (those grits aren’t cheddary enough, so add on!)
    Butter 1 TBL
    Cayenne pepper

    This serves one, so revel in your loneliness. I do! And no leftovers. Prepare a few strips of microwave bacon and pat the grease off, because you aren’t an animal. Crumble. Saute the green onions and mushrooms for almost no time at all in the butter. Prepare a couple of instant cheddar grits packets with the recommended amount of water, a handful of shredded cheddar and the cayenne. Toss in some garlic powder if you’re feeling dangerous. Add the bacon, shrimp, green onion and mushrooms into the grits. It’s not the best shrimp and grits you’ve ever had, but it’s the fastest. So fast you could have it for breakfast on a day you’re dreading going to work. It helps.

    I know. The recipe originally suggested was so much better. No arguments. This is your “I’m a lazy jerk” version. I’m shamelessly proud of it,

    • Pinkham’s Law

      I admire your honesty. But I am judging you.

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        As well you should. I do have a much longer recipe I’ve used for years, but there are times when it’s nice to have a ridiculously short one for just me. No way I’d serve the lazy one to guests. :-)

  • Shibusa
  • medcannabis1

    Thank you… love the munchies recipes .

    • Pinkham’s Law

      You’re welcome – love doing them!

  • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

    When I make cheesy grits of different sorts for weekend breakfast, the simmering takes much less than 1.5 hours. Are you simmering covered (I’m guessing no)? Is it the 5:1 stock to grits ratio (I usually do 3-4:1).
    Meh, trivial details. Folks, cheesy grits dishes like this are DA BOMB. Do check it out!

    (Also too, as well, I like putting a poached egg on top of each dish)

    • Pinkham’s Law

      It IS the grits/stock ratio, combined with the lowest simmer (uncovered) possible. An hour in, there was still nearly an inch of stock above the grits! Also, it depends on what kind of texture/mouthfeel you want. I was going for the smoothest, softest grits possible.

      • JustDon’tSayFlatEarth

        Thanks! I could start by using a different burner. The one I do grits on throws out a lot of BTUs even at the lowest setting. Smoother grits would be bettererer.

  • Our family were counted among the Shunned Ones – Those Who Eat Grits with Butter and Sugar. Our grandmother served it as a breakfast cereal like Creme of Wheat. Unsweeted grits with pepper salt whatever was for ADULTS.

    On the other hand she gave us coffee with lots of sugar and evaporated milk, ensuring all the grandbabbys were hardened coffee addict by six years old. She also gave us whiskey and rock candy for coughs.

    • Truly Madly Derply

      She sounds like a hell of a dame. Lucky you.

  • Mpeg

    I think that one mushroom stem is winking at me..

    Crap – – it’s actually more like a cat’s anus?..

  • Truly Madly Derply

    Pink, that last para brought a tear to my eye and a flush to my cheeks (the ones on my face–although, to be honest, I didn’t check the other ones). Thank you, and also for the recipe. Have you ever had it where the shrimp comes in a bacon wrapper, glazed with barbecue sauce (on a bed of grits, natch)? Yum.

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