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Your next congressman in KS-04? MAKE IT HAPPEN!

Today, in Kansas’s 4th congressional district, is the first of several Very Important Special Elections, for seats what got emptied out when Donald Trump appointed people for his administration from “safe seats” that would never be in danger of Democrats stealing them, with votes. Turns out those seats aren’t as automatically safe as they assumed, though, because Democrats and all other smart people are PISSED right now, and everybody hates Donald Trump, even some of the country fried idiots who voted for him.

Wichita civil rights lawyer James Thompson is the Democrat running for the seat vacated by Benghazi congress-idiot Mike Pompeo, who is now the president of the CIA. The Republicans figured this district would be EASY PEASY, since Donald Trump won it by 27 points. Apparently it is not such a slam dunk, though! It turns out this race, between Thompson and some GOP idiot named Ron Estes, is within single digits, and the Cook Political Report, which is an expert in polling the way Wonkette is an expert in SPY-BLOGGING, has moved the race from “Likely Republican” to “Lean Republican.” Could there be an upset if people get out and vote? Well, we’ll never know if you don’t go vote, WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?

In the final hours of the special election to replace new CIA Director Mike Pompeo in Wichita, Kansas, Republicans are expressing alarm that Democrat James Thompson is within striking distance of carrying a seat President Trump won by 27 points last November. Although GOP state Treasurer Ron Estes remains the favorite heading into Election Day, we are shifting our rating from Likely Republican to Lean Republican.

Republicans familiar with recent polling describe extremely high Democratic intensity and very low GOP enthusiasm in what is likely to be a very low turnout special. More than that, Estes appears to be swept up in a last-minute vortex of factors outside his control: Democrats’ anger towards Trump, independents’ anger towards Gov. Sam Brownback and GOP dissatisfaction with early administration failures.

Oh that’s right, we are talking about Kansas, where on top of how Donald Trump is a shitty president, everybody hates Republican Governor Sam Brownback, who literally broke the entire state.

One thing about this race is that, out of the various special elections on the calendar, it’s one of the biggest long shots. Over there in Georgia, things are much scarier for the GOP, where in Georgia’s 6th — which Cook now calls a toss-up — 30-year-old whippersnapper Jon Ossoff is making quite a showing to replace that asshole Tom Price (who is now secretary of Health and Human Services) in a district Trump only carried by one little tiny percentage point. As Cook notes, if the Republican only wins by single digits in KS-04, that in and of itself will scare the crap out of the GOP.

That’s why such esteemed and beloved Republicans as Senator Ted Cruz have traveled to Kansas to campaign for their guy, and Donald Trump did a robo-call for Estes, saying of the race that “There’s really few very much more important.” Actually, you need to see the whole transcript of this robocall, which we think Trump maded up all by himself, and which is very stupid:

BIG LEAGUE.

Mike Pence did a robo-call too, Paul Ryan has been fundraising, and the National Republican Leadership Committee and other super PACs have been pouring money in, in a district where Mike Pompeo won his re-election by 31 DAMN POINTS.

So basically, if all the Democrats who ever lived (as long as they live in KS-04) get out and vote, the WORST case scenario is Republican rando dude wins by way fewer points than he’s “supposed to,” and the GOP goes to bed tonight scared. Or maybe there could be a big upset and the GOP will literally CRY ITSELF TO SLEEP, and what better way is there to spend Holy Week than by making Republicans cry? We can’t think of one.

Here, meet the nice Democratic guy James Thompson, in a video from his website! He talks about how he used to work at Army and wants to help the veterans and other nice stuff like that. When you’re done watching, GO VOTE.

Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you! If you liked this article, fund us, with dollars, and also fund James Thompson!

[Cook Political Report / RollCall]

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  • baconzgood

    I’ll put my penis in the first democratic voter who proves they voted in this Kansas election.

    • Proud Liberal

      I watched a Kansas lady say this morning that she hopes they flip the seat to Dem. She’s a Republican.

      • Shanzgood

        Woot! I haven’t had any robocalls but I did get a REAL person call last night from the Thompson campaign and she was SUPER happy to hear a HELL YEAH!

    • Shanzgood

      I suppose you want a picture for confirmation.

      • goonemeritus

        We all do

        • Erala Contratista

          Pass.

    • puredog

      This threat/promise proves that tone of voice is everything.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Yeah, I don’t want the penis. But this is the first (and probably last) day in my life that wish I lived in Kansas. With votes.

  • memzilla Ω
    • WotsAllThisThen

      Damn your earworm!

  • Proud Liberal

    Come on Kansas! Do us proud.

  • schmannity

    Better still, Estes appears to be a pseudonym for Russian Ambassador Kislyak.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6bdc754ec8c843685b04ccd37ed4b79dfac8642157beee2a0d7090b1e10dfe14.jpg

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Related to GOP control of Congress, I came across this gem of a quote from the club for growth still trying to push that TrumpRyanCareNot bill: “I think the message is going to be, for 99.9 percent of the people, your premiums are very likely to go down, and that’s what needs to get through.”

    Yes, once we get that 0.1% of people who have cancer, cystic fibrosis, and other very expensive diseases, think of the money the rest of us will save! How fiscally responsible of you. Jerk.

  • Nounverb911
    • WotsAllThisThen

      “There there, it’s okay, accidents happen. You’re a big boy.”

      • therblig

        isn’t that Melania’s line?

    • Proud Liberal

      Not if the people get out and vote!

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Oh, Mr Starter person, we need some Depends on the 9th hole. stat

    • From Russia with Love

      Jeezus Donny, you always look like shit, but today you smell like it too.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      “I know it’s not my place, Mr. President, but maybe you shouldn’t try emulate Mr. Bannon’s uh, style.”

  • elviouslyqueer

    Kansas already has problems with locusts and tornadoes. What on earth have they done to deserve a visit from Ted Cruz?

  • goonemeritus

    I’m starting to worry about our poor Republican neighbors, they just don’t have that spring in their step or that song on their lips. They should take a nice mental health day and stay on the couch with a big hot chocolate and maybe a John Wayne movie on the TV.

    • schmannity
    • Kiri the Unicorn

      “The Green Berets” is a good one. It explains all about how morally correct the Vietnam War was.

    • From Russia with Love

      I know a few who are still in double down mode, which I find particularly humorous. If you can’t figure out that Donny has picked your pocket, you are pretty well fucked.

      • goonemeritus

        His base still loves him, they will continue to love him even if he is impeached and spends the rest of his lie in jail.

        • Erala Contratista

          I dunno, Drumphf is currently unpopular, bigly at……Wait for it!………….
          Our local Elks Lodge.

          • goonemeritus

            Most recent poll states that only 3% of Trump voters would change their vote. If you need me I will be banging my head on my desk.

      • Tokays_don’t_blink

        This morning I heard a couple of my friendly local baggers whinging about–wait for it–that old “cash for clunkers” thing from years back. But from their perspective I guess anything is better than peering into the eye of the current shitstorm and realizing you’ve been hustled.

    • puredog

      Not just yet, though. 11/5/18 sounds like a good time to schedule that mental health day, far enough out to make sure there are no conflicts.

  • Chadwells
  • Vincent Ricola

    I’m rooting for you, Kansas Americans, vote your asses off!

    And I love that little Jon Ossoff in Georgia. Between CNN wall-to-wall coverage of the United guy who got beat up, I saw a few interviews with some Ana Navarro type Republicans that were hosting a party for him and it warmed my heart.

    • Proud Liberal

      I’m donating to Jon. I am going to expand to all Dem candidates. We must flip the House to blue. If we can get the Senate, that would be even better.

      • Vincent Ricola

        I’m throwing my money around too. We need to do this one election at a time.

        • Proud Liberal

          Absolutely. These next elections are the most important elections of our lifetime. If we get the House, we will stop Agent Orange’s and Republican agenda.

  • Michael R
  • tapp_my_wire,please

    If I were the State treasurer of KS, I’d be looking for a new job before the tar and feathers got too close too.

  • Chadwells

    OT: And now….they will defame him.

    “Doctor dragged off flight was convicted of trading drugs for sex”

    http://nypost.com/2017/04/11/doctor-dragged-off-flight-convicted-of-trading-drugs-for-sex/

    • jesterpunk

      Of course they are, they do that to anyone who makes the police look bad.

    • Proud Liberal

      Still doesn’t absolve United or the Chicago PD.

      • Chadwells

        I know…just pointing out that they are following the scumbag playbook!!!

    • LesBontemps

      Also too homosexxxican.

    • ariel_gee_398

      On the plane? No? Then STFU about it, media.

    • Nounverb911

      What do you expect from the Post?

    • Nounverb911

      Let’s not forget United’s ‘Toubled Past’.
      https://twitter.com/_cingraham/status/851802003202355201

      • puredog

        There’s lots more at untied.com , a website poster-child for what must be a deep need for revenge.

    • From Russia with Love

      Oh like you’ve never done that…

    • puredog

      Actually, they are disparaging him rather than defaming him, assuming the NYP is reporting the facts correctly (a big assumption, maybe).

  • Clyde Barrow

    What, the Cons couldn’t keep Sarah Palin sober enough to do a coherent robocall? What a pinko commie!

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      Does meth sober a person up like coffee?

  • memzilla Ω
    • Proud Liberal

      Oh FFS. No matter what, it will be a farce of epic proportions.

    • Msgr_MΩment
    • BreakingDeadMen

      They are so disconnected from reality.

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      They are SMRT, those WH folks.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Trump promised we can save money by getting rid of Sesame Street and still have Sesame Street available when we want them. If he succeeds as President, we’ll all be eating at Milliway’s by lunchtime.

      • From Russia with Love

        Well sure, it’s personal with you!

    • therblig

      don’t worry, trumpy’s got backups in case they can’t make it: Large Fowl, Pastry Goblin, Dilmo, Doughy, Bannon the Grouch, and Heartland Sunrise

    • Greyhame

      Well that’s a dick move. I’d say send Oscar with a basket of rotten eggs to give them the sarcastic roasting (and egging) they deserve, except the WH children are innocents who don’t yet know what horrible people their parents are.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Okay, how do we out-of-staters vote, and what’s the going rate per vote from the Soros people?

    • Proud Liberal

      Donate to your favorite candidates and vote. Mr. Soros is busy with philanthropy.

    • Vincent Ricola

      $25 per vote, but I think payroll is backed up because I haven’t received my check yet this month.

      • goonemeritus

        All I got was a free beer and a taco.

        • Vincent Ricola

          You’ve got to check the “yes, I would like to receive promotional updates from the shadow deep-state government” box to get paid.

        • theblackdog

          Was there a taco truck on every corner?

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      The SorosBus will be there in five minutes to take you to the polls. A box lunch and a bribe for your employer will be provided.

    • Clyde Barrow

      According to GOP logic, the rate of illegal voters correlates with the amount of taco trucks per capita.

      Kansas will be well short of Soros paid illegal voters.

  • proudgrampa

    He seems like a nice person.

    No. Really!

    • Greyhame

      If anyone can win in Kansas as a Democrat, it’d be this guy.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    “Gentlemen, we find ourselves in a precarious position in Kansas. It seems backlash against Trump might cost us a Congressional seat. So let’s get those Trump robocalls going! And Pence. What the hell, send Ted Cruz in there for good measure. Everyone likes him, right?”

    • Michael R

      We’ll see how the election goes , and if we lose we
      will re- gerrymander and do a recount ,.

    • BreakingDeadMen
    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Let’s say, the GOP is an acquired taste.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Best served cold. With a chianti.

        • tapp_my_wire,please

          In KS, we’ll just go with the sparkling grape juice, thank you.

      • Clyde Barrow

        That’s what Dennis Hasterst said.

    • Shanzgood

      Those and the smear ads from Estes saying that Thompson supports sex-selective and late-term abortions. The only part that was true was that Thompson also wants to get rid of the Hyde Amendment.

      • puredog

        Wow. That’s a bold position to stake out in KS.

        • Shanzgood

          The Dems floated an anti-choice candidate as well but locals kicked up a huge fuss so they picked Thompson to run instead.

  • Michael R

    A survey from The Washington Post interviewed evangelicals before the 2016 election and after. Over one in ten left their church by mid-November

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/04/evangelicals-are-leaving-their-churches-over-donald-trump/

    • Zonath

      Yeah, Trump’s election finally convinced me that there is no god, too.

      • Blackest Noobs

        oh there’s a god and he’s a dick in khaki pants.

    • marxalot

      Good. Evangelical Christians are the leading edge of authoritarian Xtian fascism, and if you don’t believe me, follow Christopher Stroop.

  • Nounverb911
    • elviouslyqueer

      If that chart was a plane, the pilot better be calling mayday and preparing to ditch.

    • From Russia with Love

      You know what, fuck them, they have been a shitty airline for decades and probably shouldn’t have earned that billion in the first place. We have a choice going from FRA to DEN of United or Lufthansa, and we haven’t used United in many years.

      • marxalot

        They rely on massive taxpayer subsidies to not go bankrupt, and have been bailed out numerous times. Let the corporate person die.

        • From Russia with Love

          If you are a federal employee and they send you overseas for a trip, you MUST fly on a US carrier if one is available. So, yeah.

      • Greyhame

        At this point I’d rather drive 10 hours than take a 1-hour United flight.

    • cheetojeebus

      Too bad there wasn’t an actual video of trump grabbing ’em by the Pussy.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      “PULL UP! PULL UP!”

    • Nockular cavity
  • ariel_gee_398

    So Trump sat down (or, more likely continued to sit) and put his very good brain to work thinking of what he could say to persuade the good people of Kansas to Vote Estes. He worked at it for at least a couple of minutes. And that’s what he came up with?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Needs moar pee hookers?

      • ariel_gee_398

        Estes 2017: A Pee Hooker in Every Pot!

    • Antonin Dvorak

      From what I have read on this race, that is almost the exact amount of time Estes has put in; so he was just following the example.

      • ariel_gee_398

        I guess I should give credit where due. He got the date right.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Hey now. Plagiarizing your own campaign bullshit takes time!

  • Michael Smith

    Do you think Trump asked if Estes is Mexican?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Isn’t it Mexxican for “these guys”?

    • Nightcrawler

      Do you think wingnuts believe every single country south of the U.S. is Mexico? It would certainly explain why they tell Argentinians or Colombians or Ecuadorians to “go back to Mexico”.

      • Michael Smith

        Oh they definitely do. They also think Spain is Mexico.

        • Nightcrawler

          Wait until they find out Charlie Sheen’s real last name is Estevez!

        • capnkrunch

          Don’t they speak Mexican in Spain?

          • Michael Smith

            Yup. The Spanish are almost as bad as those damn Romans who spoke Latin American.

          • shastakoala

            I think they speak Hispanic.

      • marxalot

        Demonstrably they do. One of their “immigration” plans involves deporting all Spanish-speaking nationals of all South American countries (and probably a few other Browns who got in there by mistake) to Mexico and just leaving them there.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Yes. I’ve seen them tell people from Guam and Puerto Rico and occasionally Texas and California to go back to their country.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Jesus that robo-call transcript reads like it was written by a 5-year old. I know Trump is stupid but come on, how fucking condescending is this!

    • Nounverb911

      Still too advanced for trump…

    • Clyde Barrow

      To be fair, the target audience are the folks that voted for Sam Brownback….twice.

      The blind leading the dumb leading the ignorant.

    • jesterpunk

      To whom my concern,

      Please vote in the election, I want to win bigly

      signed

      Donald “I have big hands they are not tiny” Trump

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      This is what happens when you give Kellyanne the day off.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
  • Nightcrawler

    See America? These are the type of people you should be honoring as “patriots”. Not selfish, hateful frauds like Ted Nugent, who literally soiled his own pants and didn’t clean himself to avoid serving his country.

  • Nounverb911

    Has the GOP claimed voter fraud yet?

    • jesterpunk

      They will once it looks like they will lose or if the election is close.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      They’ll produce video of an underage girl and a dog going by Toto leaving the polls.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    “There’s really few very much more important.”

    Haha! That’s my president! Hahaha!! Haha.. ha- *sob*

    • Brendan_M

      Whatever happened to silver-tongued con-men? Did Music Man sell us a bunch of lies?!?!

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        River City is fucked.

        • LesBontemps

          Marian was grabbed by the pussy.

      • Nockular cavity

        They warned you what would happen when you let pool into town.

      • Internet Hitler

        Not a good conman. Daddy money. Never had to hustle.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      He wants his grammar to maintain the element of surprise. If nobody can figure out what he’s saying, it keeps his enemies guessing!

  • Lulu Mac

    They spelled Bigly wrong…

  • Marceline

    I think of this race as too much of a long shot but keeping the margin of victory small would be nice. I suspect I know the answer but with the GOP working so hard, did the DNC eventually do ANYTHING to help Thompson?

    Also, do we have any polling on Quist? I threw the guy some cash and now he’s emailing me like a old high school boyfriend who just got divorced.

    • rebecca

      those emails are THE WORST. no, no polling that I’ve seen. And remember, it’s the DCCC whose job it is to run these races, not the DNC.

      And no, the DCCC did nothing to help.

      • Marceline

        After your piece, I was hoping the DNC would step in and do…something since the DCCC was leaving these folks flailing. Sigh.

        BTW, thanks for staying on top of all this. I often have to choose between being informed and remaining sane. This site helps me bridge that gap.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I’m really hoping something comes of the Bernie / Perez flyover tour. I feel as if it could help.

          But yeah, someone should have jumped on this one. I threw him some of my whorebuck stash.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Added bonus: when you come here, you also don’t have to choose between being informed and wearing pants.

      • Flashman

        The DCCC recently called me with its usual beg for money. I told them to do a better job first.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I got a celebrity politician, or someone pretending to be one. I told him to take me off the list of people they call.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Not as bad as Ossoff, though. If his campaign is actually sending the nine emails a day I’m getting from his campaign he’s not making any friends.

      • Edith Prickly

        Stupid fuckers. They have to start learning that long shots can be worth it.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      He’s not emailing me, but he is writing to me at work. Which is a little bit weird, ActBlue, because I did not give my work address.

  • Crystalclear12

    I would help but Kansas is still upset about the last time Missourians tried to “help” them vote.

  • Jgb979

    Kansas should be the end of modern conservatism as an institution. They were given literal free reign to implement some of the most extreme tax cuts in the country and have only succeeded in bankrupting the state. There is literally no scenario Brownback can argue his administration has been anything but an abject failure.

    Perhaps maybe K residents are starting to notice.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I’m sure there is a big enough constituency for vagina control and ignorance that he’ll declare victory.

    • jesterpunk
      • Marceline

        Sweet Jesus, I thought you were joking. He really blamed Obama for his failures.

        • jesterpunk

          Republicans will blame Obama for everything they can and their voters will eat that excuse up.

          • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

            Republicans: The Party of Personal Responsibility™! Look at him taking all the responsibility of blaming his problems on former President Scapegoat. What a brave fellow, indeed.

            Hopefully that marketing slogan will continue to fail to serve them, in much the same way that gun sales have tanked because there’s no more “gun grabber” in the White House.

        • OrdinaryJoe

          BTBD. Blame the black dude. Common criminal defense for white people who are trying to shift blame.

    • h4rr4r

      You said it should end modern conservatism, then you said they had 100% success in achieving their goals. How is that a failure of any sort?

  • calliecallie

    He gets much sexxxier as you watch the video. I gave him money. I hope he wins.

    • Shanzgood

      Thank you! I’m going out to vote on a bit!

      • Major Lee Pissed

        Go! Now! Please :)

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        I gave him money, also! So I think it’s okay for you to vote one extra for me, too! Because, corporations, or Citizens United, or something?

        Yep. Totally pretty sure.

  • Crystalclear12

    Even if Thompson doesn’t win he made Republicans spend a lot of money!
    Yeah!

  • Dartemus

    I hope the Republicans wake up tomorrow and say, “Toto, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore!”

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Hate voting. It is the wave of the future.

  • NastyBossetti

    Oh my god, that robocall is pathetic. It’s basically what a nervous 2nd grader running for class president would say at assembly. And I’m being generous about the grade. How does this man not die of embarrassment every single day of his life?

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      He does a really really good job, that’s why.
      (Auto correct is bitching about the two really’s. Trump needs and auto correct for his mouth.)

      • NastyBossetti

        Something like auto-tune, but it corrects for things like syntax and logic.

    • cheetojeebus

      I take it you haven’t had a malignant narcissist in your sphere for any time. It’s shocking how similar he is to my experience. Poor reading skills, check, literally every conversation is steered toward their experiences. Critical of the looks of others while being a mess. Weird personal space stuff-the hand shake etc…No desire to enrich themselves-hence the 4th grade vocabulary, always unjustly victimized, can hold a grudge for decades. Always wants the limelight. Non stop fabrication ie, putting themselves in the middle of extraordinary situations. It’s like god damn deja vu constantly with this guy for me.

      • NastyBossetti

        Yeah, I definitely have not. Maybe not ever at all. I’m sorry you have had this experience.

      • boll ocks

        Yep. You just perfectly described someone I have to deal with at work daily…

        • cheetojeebus

          yikes. Keep your head down. My strategy has been to maintain distance as much as possible. Feign interest and flattery. It isn’t worth it to confront.

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    I think you should vote before you watch the video AND after you watch the video.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Not living in Kansas myself, I voted a whole bunch of times, because I am sure my dead relatives who never lived in Kansas would’ve wanted it that way.

    • Yr. Gma

      I’m looking forward to your starring role in the next James O’Keefe expose.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I hope he knows that my standard contract requires that I be filmed committing voter fraud only from my left side. Because otherwise, there will be litigation.

    • Tennessee Rain

      I’m only registered to vote in PA, DE and MD, so I’m gonna hafta sit this one out.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Only registered in CA, MA and CO so I can’t help either.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Wait, they think Ted Cruz working for someone…is a good thing? In PERSON??

    I have only ever witnessed him safely behind the glass of a monitor, and I get the skin-crawling oogies.
    I don’t think it would be any less if he was physically in the room with me. Definitely close to fight-or-flight time if he was reaching towards me to supposedly “shake hands.”

    • Master Contrail Program

      “Kali Ma!”

      • Longstreet63

        Death God Libelz!

    • Internet Hitler

      Cruzis altogether ooky.

    • Panika MCD

      I think Heidi thinks whatever keeps him out of TX keeps him in his seat. the second we realize what a prick he is (and he has been known to bully state legislators just like he does house members), he’s done for. besides: a) Cornyn is recruiting someone to primary Ted Cruz and b) we have Beto O’Rourke running for the seat and he is HOTTT!!!

    • boll ocks

      And that lip booger he sports… GAHH

    • phoenix00

      If I were anywhere near human, I would lolno refuse Ted Cruz campaigning for me.

      But, as we have seen, Republicans and Human do not go together.

  • Longstreet63

    Well, this will certainly scare the Republicans…into redistricting the state to make such close elections impossible again.

  • It’s been SUCH a terrible year i feel like we’re owed a win.

    On the other hand, it’s been SUCH a terrible year and the hits just keep on coming.

  • Internet Hitler

    Dust in the wind
    Republicans are dust in the wind

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Robocalls by Mike Pence seems a bit redundant.

  • Relativicus

    No chance. There’s bound to be a bunch of “wants to take all the guns” and “wants to let people marry horses” and “I saw him in the closet with Sharia and they were making babies and the baby looked at me” type stuff that will ensure Kansans, again, spite themselves out of sheer stupidity.

    It’s like the old tale where a frog let’s a Kansan ride on its back to cross a river. When they reach the middle of the river, the Kansan jumps off, sinks to the bottom, and drowns. The frog, seeing the Kansan’s ghost on the other side of the river says “Dude, WTF?!?” The Ghost of the Kansan says “FREEDOM, BITCHES!!! Kansas woo-hoo! We won so shut up!!!”

  • azeyote

    they had a chance with Dorothy, but she couldn’t handle technicolor, and now they settle for black and white –

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