Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.
- Trump’s White House has been besieged by elementary-level infighting as everyone tries to shove each other out of the way in order to gain favor with Daddy Trump before he votes one of them off the island.
- The US is moving a strike group towards North Korea in advance of probable arms testing, a move NSC advisor H.R. McMaster called “prudent” while rattling his own saber on teevee news.
- K.T. McFarland is expected to be banished to Singapore as H.R. McMaster seeks to shed dead weight left over from Mike Flynn.
- Assad’s arms merchants think Trump’s missiles were crossing “red lines,” which Lindsey Graham called a big “F you.” Meanwhile, Mitch McConnell has offered up an AUMF, while Trump’s officials bungled their way through a unified message on regime change.
- The G-7 will meet later this week to talk about all the things no one is actually doing in Syria, and Rex Tillerson will smile and nod off, then share his notes with his Best Friends in Moscow.
- For now, it seems Trump managed to avert the trade war he said he really wanted with China and somehow managed not to completely embarrass himself or the entire country, but some people are wondering if Trump got “raped” by Xi Jinping. [Archive]
- Trump might court the votes of a few
thousandwhite nationalists, but there are some Jewish people Trump likes, and they just happen to have strong ties to Putin’s Russia.
- Fox has been using Trump’s puss-grab tape in classes for sexual harassment which has led to gasps as employees realize that they might be complicit in sexual assault and fake news.
- US Citizenship and Immigration Services is suspending its “premium processing” program, and that’s bad for Not Americans looking for expedited H1-B visas, and the overloaded and bumbling USCIS.
- Foggy Bottom is desperately trying to peer through the smoke by reading Heritage Foundation reports on projected cuts to the State Department, with the most likely reductions coming to the environmental, cultural, arms control and military affairs, LGBT and women’s issues, and economics. TLDR: You might want to start looking for gigs around Farragut Square instead of Federal Triangle.
- A nosey group wants sue Trump’s White House in order to make visitor logs available, a common practice under B. Barry Bamz.
- Alabama’s State Supreme Court has ruled that impeachment hearings begin today for Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley over ALLEGATIONS that Bentley abused public resources to screw around on his wife.
- A new suit against Navient alleges the student loan lender preyed on college students by doling out high-risk loans.
- Tomi Lahren is suing Glenn Beck after he kind of You’re Fired her for saying she believed she could kill all the babies in her va-jay-jay.
- An NRA employee won’t be standing his ground anytime soon after the employee shot himself during a training exercise at the NRA Firearms Museum.
- Drunk on red whine, Joe Scarborough ranted for 20 minutes about President Bannon this morning while Jared Kushner texted him talking points and insults to use when interrupting all the other teevee talking heads.
- And here’s your late night wrap-up! John Oliver ‘splainered gerrymandering; Colbert had some words for Donald Trump’s spawn; and on SNL Alec Baldwin’s Trump met some Trumpkins, and did a double with a Bill-O & Trump, and Louis CK paid tribute to slacktivism.
- And here’s your morning Nice Time! MANATEES!
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