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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

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  • Nounverb911
    • cmd resistor

      I say this cat would make an excellently presidential president.

      • janecita

        Better than the one we have now, that’s for sure!

      • Nounverb911

        Too bad it lives in Tokyo.

        • cmd resistor

          All it has to do is drop in at the White House now and again and we’ll be fine.

          • From Russia with Love

            He can spend the rest of his time in Florida.

  • Nounverb911
    • From Russia with Love

      Donut porn!

    • janecita

      Is that donut leaking semen?

      • From Russia with Love

        I do not want to see the chocolate one.

        • janecita

          Me neither!

        • irishdave3

          Some Chocolate ones are so much bigger you can choke on em and Blah out….

      • Shanzgood

        OMG

        I can’t unsee that now.

        • janecita

          😂

      • Painter of Goats

        At least it’s not frothy.

      • NastyBossetti

        Yeah, that is what I saw, too. I used to like glazed donuts…

  • Nounverb911
    • From Russia with Love

      I call bullshit. Kushner’s never worn anything that close to a uniform.

      • True, not enough gold braid and medaly stuff on it.

    • Doug Langley

      Is that Pupeye, Pipeye, or Poopeye?

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Next contestant not to get a red rose is Gorka most likely.

    Shedding Bannon may take a lot longer. Not sure. He is a liability and firmly ties Trump to the anti-Globalist conspiracy mill that is tightly coupled to the the Kremlin disinformation campaign.

  • Nounverb911

    This is a puzzling tweet from the putin Ad Agency, London office.
    https://twitter.com/RussianEmbassy/status/851418358809587712

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      It’s not puzzling. It continues a theme they have used until it has lost all meaning.

      New sanctions? Obama is trying to start WWIII.

      Clinton said a thing about Russian election rigging? Clinton is trying to Start WWIII.

      MI6/Parliament point to Kremlin in assassination using polonium. UK trying to start WWII.

      blah.

      • Red Bird Ω

        Russian oligarchs want more money. Putin is trying to start WWIII.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      T.J.Kong. #neverforget

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    The Live Fire/Wounded Patriot exhibit is always my favorite stop at the NRA Museum. The Hold My Beer For A Sec demonstrations they do in summer are fun too.

    • From Russia with Love

      The only place in the world where the three legged man race actually takes three men.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      If that wounded Patriot is Tom Brady, count me in and give me extra clips!

  • Stulexington

    He shot himself during a training exercise in a museum … a training exercise in a museum, like they were training with firearms in a museum. Was he training to be a security guard or does the NRA just not understand what museums are suppose to be for?

    • From Russia with Love

      He was acting the role of a 7-11 clerk, circa 1794.

    • ariel_gee_398

      In retrospect, the interactive exhibits at the NRA museum may have been a mistake.

    • Painter of Goats

      It was a rehearsal for the”Good Guys with Guns” live stage show.

  • Every time I look at this administration and the way it runs, I realize that these are people who have never held an elected office at any level in any organization, including student council in school.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    …rattling his own saber on teevee news.

    Missed it. Can’t override the family decency chip on my electric teevee device. Was it on MSNBukake?

    • From Russia with Love

      Or Chuck the Cuck Todd?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I like kake, but what is this buk-kake I keep hearing about?

      • From Russia with Love

        Weekends at Mar-a-Lago.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        It’s that kake some folks like, not judging at all.

  • janecita
  • memzilla Ω
    • From Russia with Love

      In North Korea, Kim Jong-un squishes you. Nothing personal, but get the fuck out of his chair if you see him coming.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Buried lede: stretch KJU on a rack and he becomes a beloved icon of Springtime.

  • memzilla Ω
    • Msgr_MΩment

      “Trump Still President”?

    • janecita

      I don’t even know what to say.

    • NastyBossetti

      “Bomb them, Daddy!”

    • Belasaurius

      so once war breaks out, we’ll be encouraged to go shopping?

      • Again? But, where will be buy Grifter Barbie Vank Vank’s stuff when no one carries it?

        • Suttree

          Marshall’s? TJ Maxx?

          • irishdave3

            Cheesus, is Crazy Eddie still dead?

        • Belasaurius

          Sears mail order?

        • nightmoth

          Big Lots?

          • Shanzgood

            *snort*

      • From Russia with Love

        Per normal procedures.

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      Yeah – I saw similar stories over the weekend.

      Now if only Ivanka can get daddy to care about the environment, women’s issues, single-payer healthcare, voting rights and compassionate immigration reform, we’ll be in business.

    • From Russia with Love

      “Ivanka Trump ‘pushed for her father to bomb Syria”

      Hold your horses darling, you can push the button for North Korea!

    • ariel_gee_398

      “Daddy, they’re saying I’m weak like a girl and my only issue is child care for wealthy white women. Bomb something for me.”

    • nightmoth

      We kinda called that before he took office. We were joking, of course, but Ivanka is the favorite child and the real First Lady. Maybe the first woman president. After her parents divorced and took separate suites in Trump Tower, Donnie forgot about the kids. Ivanka dropped by his office every day after school and pretty soon was the apple of his eye. Like Sedagive sez below, I reckon Ivanka’s the one we need to educate on “what do the simple folk do.”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “When I think of Ivanka, I think of phallic objects zooming in on a target. You know, daddy-daughter stuff.”
      — Donald Trump

    • wait! what?
    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      Who elected her?

  • Nounverb911
  • memzilla Ω
  • Nounverb911

    Scorecards! Get your scorecards! See who hates who in the White HOuse!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/74591e6c749d28668f06dc6a9cdca5d55fda44cbc6ca52b887359062540d335f.jpg

    • Better not turn this one into a drinking game

      • Nounverb911

        Well, Bannon has…

        • From Russia with Love

          More vocation than avocation, I’d venture.

      • NastyBossetti

        Drinking isn’t even fun anymore now that it’s a necessity to get through the day.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Isn’t this “who’s pushing out whom?” shit the kind of thing that Kremlinologists used to do? The more things change…

    • Maclare

      Oh, poor Kelly Anne didn’t make the cartoon 😧

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      2017, the year The Apprentice became reality. And the ratings tanked.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    BillO’s kids watching teevee Saturday night, say wow, daddy’s doing SNL, can we get to meet Kate McKinnon?

  • Red Bird Ω

    Washington Post and that firewall. :(

    • From Russia with Love

      Open an in private window and paste in the url.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        FWIW, “incognito window” is the term Chrome uses.

        • From Russia with Love

          Mine is labeled “Porn Window.” Strange, no?

          • Latverian Diplomat

            “Truth in labeling” can be embarrassing at times.

    • shoeflyin

      After the election, I decided good journalism should be supported and I subscribed to WaPo. Recommended if your budget can handle (Also Wonkette, TPM, Mother Jones)

    • “pay wall.” Look at this way, they are doing great work and deserve to be compensated. Good Journalism isn’t easy, and it sure as hell isn’t free.

  • SeeTrain65

    H.R. McMaster seems to me to be all at the same time a mashup of H.R. Haldeman, the Master & Commander board game, and H.R. Pufnstuf.

    And of the three, H.R. Pufnstuf was easily the least offensive to me. And I hated that show.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I see they pulled in a few ringers for the Oval Office Old White Men’s Convention photo op this time.

  • Painter of Goats

    The only thing science related that Trump has supported so far is NASA. While watching Soyuz return 3 asto/cosmonauts to earth this morning (very cool) it occurred to me that of course he would support something that works hand in hand with Russia.

  • Chadwells
  • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’
    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Let’s start with the leader of the Pepe Army sleeper cell at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., Steve Bannon. If Trump keeps his chief strategist, he keeps the poisonous, post-conservative nationalism and thinly-veiled racial and religious animus that helped put him in the Oval Office. Bannon was great at running a conspiracy blog, but his political instincts are those of an arsonist, not a strategist.

      Classic!

    • wait! what?

      Articles like this make Donald want to implement jib cuts.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      If he fires Bannon, Trump should prepare for war. The information warfare architecture Bannon built with the money of Robert and Rebekah Mercer is already restive and nervous that Trump has been co-opted by (((them))) and lured into being a more conventional president. Since the Trumpbart/Bannon/Mercer propaganda platform helped elect Trump with its lurid “reporting” and its troll army (shoutout to Putin!), it can just easily be turned against him. Trump’s social media power was always boosted by—if not contingent upon—this system, and the idea of a vengeful Bannon turning those tools against him should keep Donald awake at night.

      https://img.memesuper.com/d910ca03e161394386188c0230800cd5_angry-cat-good-meme-05jpg-meme-cat-good_400-400.jpeg

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Why these Southern governors gotta make the state pay for their affairs? It’s like they wanna get busted twice!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “You want me to pay for it out of my own pocket. This secret fornicatin’ shit’s expensive, ask any preacher.”
      — A Southern Governor

    • jesterpunk

      They just have to say they found Jesus and its all ok, then they can be elected to congress.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Thank you Scott!!!!

    I don’t care if people educate each other on social media with the truth and I also don’t expect every member of team good to spend all their time marching, just goddamn vote please.

    • Shanzgood

      I’m voting tomorrow in our special election to replace Mike Pompeo!

      • tapp_my_wire,please

        Good. Are Democrats in KS required to wear a blue D patch?

        • Shanzgood

          Ha! No, but voters are required to provide a birth certificate, passport, drivers license, and a DNA sample at their polling place.

          • tapp_my_wire,please

            So the presenting of a autographed Kobach photo not law yet. ? Srsly, thanks for voting.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            What?!??!? No first born male child?

            Slackers!

          • Shanzgood

            That’s tempting, though.

      • Vote early! Vote often!

        • Shanzgood

          I usually get an advance mail-in ballot but I decided to go to my polling place this time.

      • Rock on lady! How’s it looking?

        • Shanzgood

          I don’t know! I can’t find any early election results but the NRCC got scared last week and pumped nearly $100k into the Estes campaign because he’s been so complacent about winning that he just skipped all 5 pre-election debates. Suddenly, they realized Thompson (D) has a LOT of support so of course the R’s released a smear ad screaming about ABORTION late last week which even the moderator of the debate where Thompson expressed some of his views on the subject said “yeah, no, that’s crap” but Estes just grins and denies he had anything to do with the attack ads because he didn’t PAY for them.

          Gah, I’m so stressed out! I’m gonna make my son go vote with me!

  • Nounverb911

    United Airlines just got tough on people wearing leggings who refuse to get off overbooked flights…

    https://twitter.com/JayseDavid/status/851223662976004096
    https://twitter.com/yashar/status/851426883606634496

    • puredog

      Beat me to it. “Sure, the skies are friendly; the tarmac, not so much.” I wonder how they select their “volunteer(s)”? If this guy really was a doctor who had to be at his hospital in the morning, they might want to work on that algorithm. You’d think they would continue to escalate their honeyed enticements until SOMEBODY bit. These seem to be very bad optics (as if United cares about bad optics).

      • Lance Thrustwell

        That’s the same airline what breaks guitars:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YGc4zOqozo

      • eyelashviper

        From the video where they assaulted him and dragged him off, he appeared to be Asian.
        The Goon Squad who did this is appalling and frightening, and United stands behind their actions..

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I hope he’s a given a last cigarette before the firing squad does their work.

    • Hmmm….i feel bad about complaining about Air Canada…

    • Nockular cavity

      Geez. Note to self: avoid flying United.

    • You people buy tickets regardless of price because Obama economy so good. We want more money suckers.

    • Shoto

      OK, so…This is fucked up. It’s going to be interesting to see how United responds to this PR problem.

    • eyelashviper

      This article at RS shows several videos, and the behavior of the storm troopers is beyond reprehensible. Note that the guy they assaulted and dragged off was Asian, while they obviously didn’t go after the white guy on the aisle seat.

      http://www.rawstory.com/2017/04/watch-passengers-horrified-as-security-officers-drag-a-screaming-man-off-overbooked-united-flight/

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      It was to allow some of their employees flying on standby to board the plane. Don’t know if they were air crew going to another assignment or just using their employee benefits but the passengers should have come first. I avoid United like the plague. I’d rather fly cattlecar Southwest. I feel like they treat the passengers fairly, maybe because expectations are low.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Foggy Bottom is desperately trying to peer through the smoke by reading Heritage Foundation reports on projected cuts to the State Department.

    The totally D.C. wonk CBS drama, Madam Secretary scored again last night giving a human face to State Department cuts. It’s not a glamor show, it just delivers the real deal. With Morgan Freeman and Barbara Hall as producers, it’s a solid and compelling look behind the scenes we all take for granted.

  • Nounverb911

    Happy Nice Time in Houston yesterday:
    https://twitter.com/billclinton/status/851196983683551232

    • wait! what?

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/737dba9e7f3d26daaf89ad72209ddb4fe474d9958d11ba5ade1fc23fcd7b98cd.jpg


      He starred in a never-released video game designed for the Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis systems in 1993. In the game, he had to dodge various obstacles such as spies and corrupt politicians to warn the Clintons of nuclear threat.

      He appeared in Muppet form on Larry King Live for an interview with Kermit the Frog, who was guest hosting.

      He was the subject of a cartoon book and a song; he was a character in a cartoon strip; and he even appeared with President Clinton in a series of stamps in the Central African Republic.

      Who is he? He is Socks, a black-and-white stray cat who reportedly jumped into the arms of Chelsea Clinton as she was leaving her piano teacher’s home in Little Rock, Arkansas in 1991.

      http://www.presidentialpetmuseum.com/pets/socks/

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Bill’s arm and hand look really, really gaunt there. Hope he’s ok.

      • Shanzgood

        I think he switched to a vegetarian diet a while back.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          Yeah … Bill has been on a very lean diet due to potential heart conditions.

        • wide_stance_hubby

          Indeed, I think he went full vegan after his heart troubles. Still, shocked at his wrist.

        • Little Lulu Ω

          Vegan. And Bill’s fingers look longer than ever, or maybe the degree of difference between his and Trump’s makes them appear longer.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      That’s just cruel, Bill….

  • Chadwells
  • weejee

    Mitch McConnell has offered up an AUMF

    Someone should offer up an AMF to both tUrtle and tRump.

  • nightmoth

    What’s happening with the fucking Russia-Trump investigation? I’m worried that a few bombs dropped on a Putin ally has aided the GOP stonewalling.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      They are all on hiatus for Easter, so nothing was going to happen regardless.

      • puredog

        I hope Sally Yates is keeping a sharp eye out over her shoulder these pre-testimony days, and not accepting cups of tea from strangers.

        • Crystalclear12

          Not a good time for plumbing projects either.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “It’s not a vacation, we’re all in our districts, busy hiding from our constituents.”
        — Paul Ryan

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Governing as a 3 card monte game for the entertainment of us plebes.

    • cmd resistor

      I will be so extremely pissed if it goes away. Who should be we bugging is what I want to know.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        Schiff and Warner are the ranking Dems.

        House:
        Jim Himes
        Terri Sewell
        Andre Carson
        Jackie Speier
        Mike Quigley
        Eric Swalwell
        Joaquin Castro
        Denny Heck

        Senate:
        DiFi
        Wyden
        Heinrich
        King
        Manchin
        Harris

        • cmd resistor

          Thanks. None from Florida but will bug them anyway.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Public pressure. Get the 5 calls app, join an Indivisible group if you haven’t already. Call your congresscritter. Public pressure is what will keep the investigation going.

        • cmd resistor

          Yeah, I’ll give old GOP congressguy a call, plus Little Marco. If nothing else they have to acknowledge there are calls for it.

    • Greyhame

      Nothing gets U.S. news organizations all hot & bothered quite like having the chance to play footage of Tomahawk cruise missiles being launched from the decks of destroyer ships at night.

      • irishdave3

        Getting off with the “Cruise” Missiles…in the Navel sort of way?

    • irishdave3

      But Syria-USly, that was Cackling HilaroUS, just ask her next time you’re in the woods…and shit!

  • puredog

    (Wouldn’t let me comment in the right place about that tweet of Trump and Xi.)
    I’m body-conscious enough myself to know that’s a bad angle, but it looks like Trumpy is growing increasingly dumpy.

    • From Russia with Love

      Lard does tend to clump.

    • Jennifer R

      The stress of being president made Taft stress eat to the point he got stuck in a bathtub. I have to assume someone who was already slamming down fast food and “diet” soda like he does is halfway there already.

    • He will be the bigly-est. even bigly-er than Taft.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      I think he’s getting his clothes from Bannon.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • From Russia with Love

      Nuh uhh, Walrus Czar will be John Bolton’s job.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        I think this is best settled by a cage fight by the two contenders.

      • mfp

        goo-goo-ga-joob

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    “The Trouble With Trump’s White House Is Donald Trump”
    http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2017/04/10/the-trouble-with-trump-s-white-house-is-donald-trump.html?via=desktop&source=twitter

    Rick Wilson:

    … Even supporters who hoped the strike would show Trump as a he-man leader willing to grasp the saber of state in his tiny hands and rattle it firmly, it failed to paper over the political crisis consuming his White House as his staff and family have become warring factions seeking his favor so that the story has become not about the president’s goals, policies, or accomplishments, but a group of people around him who make the Borgias look like the Brady Bunch.

    Trump is faced with terrible options when it comes to rearranging the deck chairs on the SS White House, and those of us who warned you this was inevitable are ordering popcorn. The cancer in the presidency isn’t his staff—though they reflect his shoddy intellect, his shallow impulsiveness, his loose grasp of reality, and Chinese-menu ideology. The problem is Trump himself, and nothing and no one can change that. …

    Maybe Bannon goes?
    … Another reason firing Bannon is fraught with risk: Bannon is running the Russia pushback operation from inside the White House. He’s up to his ample ass in the Nunes shenanigan with NSC staffer Ezra Cohen-Watnik and White House Counsel’s Office staffer Mike Ellis.

    OK, Priebus, then …
    … A strong, effective chief of staff would be of enormous benefit to this president, but so would avoiding Kentucky Fried Chicken, early morning tweet frenzies, and 20 hours of Fox News every day. …

    But surely …

    … As long as Trump is president, there will never be a pivot. There is no better version of Trump, simply waiting for the right org chart or the right staffer

    I’m always struck with how a simple phrase from Ralph Waldo Emerson captures politics over time, and how it captures the Trump administration perfectly.

    That phrase? “An institution is the lengthened shadow of a man.”

    • Greyhame

      Suddenly the hierarchy even among Trump’s children makes sense. The Shitegibbón turns everything he touches into a petty power struggle among underlings, and Tiffany was voted off the island years ago.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Tiffany left, I assume. Final words: “Fuck this shit!”

    • HazooToo
    • The lengthened shadow of a man
      Is history, said Emerson,
      Who had not seen the silhouette
      Of Trump akimbo in the sun.

  • eyelashviper

    After viewing the video of the man being assaulted and dragged off the United Flight yesterday, I found a website that compiles contact information for most every business or corporation (United was the one I was looking for), and it is a fabulous resource. I bookmarked it for future usage, so recommend it to everyone here.

    http://elliott.org/about/

    • Internet Hitler

      So United WARNED him that if Dr. Important didn’t accept a $800 payoff then he might get mussed up. See what that doctor made United do? He wouldn’t listen! It’s his own fault for being on that flight United overbooked!

    • HazooToo

      Wait, what happened? I missed this.

      • eyelashviper
        • HazooToo

          That’s fucking disgusting.

          • eyelashviper

            Sigh, we can only fear that the abuse from corporations will get worse.
            The doc in this case has a very strong case for a huge lawsuit, and had he been prevented from returning to his patients, they also could have had a case.

          • HazooToo

            Why is it that various groups are called on to condemn people of their kind who do vicious things, but we never ask other companies to condemn their competitors actions? Aren’t corporations people, now? Does Delta condone this behavior? … Actually, they probably do.

        • Yr. Gma

          I wonder if the fact that the passenger was Asian had anything to do with it. Well, of course not.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    an article on the joke the White House Press Corps is now https://washingtonspectator.org/press-corps-white-house-perlstein/

    • HazooToo

      When Putin gives a press conference, he gets questions like that. Also, the occasional planted “hardball” question that he can chuckle at and give a pre-planned patronizing answer to, or ignore.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        Its where Trump got the idea,its why he stacked the pressroom with these clowns.

    • Bitter Scribe

      I remember when someone in the Obama administration merely floated the idea of keeping Fox News off Air Force One, Fox was hysterical with indignation. Now Trump’s press sec keeps out the New York Times and CNN, and no one blinks.

    • wait! what?

      Sean Spicer the “Pagliacci of the Pressroom.”

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        I liked “The Aggressively InCorrect Hate Site Gateway Pundit” myself

    • Lucas Foxx

      Ha ha! A Crass Menagerie

  • Internet Hitler

    Man, I was suffering from foggy bottom all last week.

    • Internet Hitler

      Meanwhile the FBI is collecting hackers, mobsters, and various other Trump-linked bad hombres around the world, extradition orders in hand…

      • artem1s

        NOT HAPPENING FAST ENOUGH! I need some good news after last weeks horrid mess of SCOTUS defiling.

  • nightmoth
  • artem1s

    an actual decent piece of journalism from the Chillicothe Gazette and the effects of oxy epidemic and cuts to #TrumpRegrets communities. http://www.chillicothegazette.com/story/news/local/2017/03/31/let-them-die-fatal-drug-overdoses-chillicothe-ohio-special-report-the-overdose-dilemma-part-1/98149260/

  • guppy06

    Tomi Lahren is suing Glenn Beck after he kind of You’re Fired her fornsaying she believed she could kill all the babies in her va-jay-jay

    I’m pretty sure “tone-deaf idiot” is not a protected class, not that there should be any protected class because Conservative Jerb Creators.

    She does realize Gorsuch just got confirmed, right?

  • Internet Hitler

    Um. Wow.
    Russia Knew About Syria’s Chemical Weapons Strike Before It Happened: U.S. Officials

    http://time.com/4733504/syria-airstrikes-russia/?xid=gonewsedit&google_editors_picks=true

  • Lucas Foxx

    Peggy Noonan’s Pulitzer “for distinguished commentary, using any available journalistic tool”. I”ll show you a tool. They said: “For rising to the moment with beautifully rendered columns that connected readers to the shared virtues of Americans during one of the nation’s most divisive political campaigns.” Pulitzer committee must read her columns from the bottom of a bottle of gin. Clearly not the same people behind Bob Dylan’s award. Bob never mentioned Rainy Day Woman #85. I would not feel so all alone. Peggy Noonan must.get.stoned.

  • Tiny kaiju

    I just assumed AUMF meant Alternative Universe Mother Fucker.

    • mtn_socialist

      It’s the sound you make when you hear someone utter the words, “Trump Administration Foreign Policy”.

  • Tiny kaiju

    One hundred days is the marker, and we’ve got essentially 2 1/2 weeks to turn everything around,” said one White House official. “This is going to be a monumental task.”
    I think the word you want there is sisyphean or maybe im-fucking-possible.

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