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Morning Wonketariat! On the advice of legal counsel, under conditions of immunity from Russian Interwebs hate machine robots, we can neither confirm, NOR DENY, that we will be talking about the following things at some time in the near future:

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  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
    • bupkus23

      I think you already served dessert in your previous post…

  • Nounverb911

    Interesting map, should be force fed with votes to the GOP.
    https://twitter.com/urbandata/status/837031528936968208

    • PubOption

      Yes, but most of them are illegals. Also there are too many Joos, Gays and Commies in the entertainment business, something might need to be done about them once we finish the deportations.

  • dslindc
    • bupkus23

      Shit – that’s scarier than Tim Curry was in that role…

      ( Should I waste my three minutes or so watching the just-released trailer for the remake? )

  • Bill D. Burger

    Babble Spice later today: “Mike Flynn had a very limited role in the campaign. The president barely knows who he is. Actually, he was some sort of a volunteer and because he liked Russian dressing on his salad, YOU PEOPLE think he was some sort of spy.
    Please stop shaking your heads. That’s the truth. PERIOD!”

  • memzilla Ω
  • memzilla Ω
  • memzilla Ω
    • I’ll wait until there’s more sources.
      :/

      • MynameisBlarney

        Good idea.

        But is it too early to start taking bets?

        • Mary Sandoras

          Ehh, I think the intel community will make him offers he can’t refuse on his resignation. Soon I hope.

        • puredog

          Oddly, I read that as “is it too early to start baking pies?”

          • MynameisBlarney

            It’s NEVER too early to start baking pies!

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Me too. Even taking the first tweet as true, it would only indicate a mindset. Not an action. Is it something to file away for later? Sure. But time will tell.

    • The Wanderer

      Hmm. (starts his calculator and overclocks the processors)

    • calliecallie

      “considering his options, including resignation.”

      Hope he’s also considering federal prison.

      • Creepoman

        I hear that he’s so cocky, he’s already measuring the drapes at Terminal Island.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        There’s the Moscow Ritz-Carlton. $19B in Rosneft money buys a shit ton of pee hookers.

      • puredog

        But is he considering suicide? I’d wager not.

        • Ron the Baptist

          Narcissists never do. They’re so convinced of their superiority that they would NEVER deprive the planet of their august selves.

  • MynameisBlarney

    DU’s Friday Toon Roundup Pt. One.

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10028876199

  • Nounverb911
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Gamecocks? Is that what the kids are calling them now?

    • ariel_gee_398

      Ah…Gamecocks. That must have been the uniform Huckabee was alluding to.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    So, if aliens were ever thinking about contacting “intelligent” life on this planet, do ya think that the fact that our new Ambassador to Outer Space is a former Blink-182 member will make them more or less likely to make contact? Remember, it’s possible that extraterrestrial life lacks ears or hearing ability.

    • The Wanderer

      I’m with Douglas Adams on this – all the accounts of UFO sightings, abductions, cattle mutilations and crop circles are simply the activities of extraterrestrial juvenile delinquents and gang members.

    • ariel_gee_398

      If they’re smart enough to get here, they’ll be smart enough to go over our heads and talk to the dolphins.

      • Painter of Goats

        Take me to your cetaceans.

      • Creepoman

        That did not end well for us, IIRC. But at least Flipper was grateful for the seafood.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Ambassador to Outer Space? When does he leave to take up his post?

    • janecita

      A man so stupid that he kept on asking “What’s my age again, what’s my age again.”
      I couldn’t resist:-)

  • I hope I’m wrong, but the Flynn story looks like a poorly choreographed play orchestrated by our inept White House in order to show “one bad apple”.

    I’d bet that somewhere there is a PO Box bank account holding a bundle of Ameros waiting for Flynn should he “testify with immunity”.

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      Agreed. No deal. He cannot be trusted. Pressure him into telling the truth.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        They’ve already got enough for jail time. Flynn better go back and reread The Art of the Deal.

    • Creepoman

      And even if he gets immunity – it’s only for the crimes already committed. Not sure if he understands it’s not carte blanche for lying under oath.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I realize Trumpers are NEVER going to admit their cult leader is a corrupt tratorous fraud, but the mental gymnastics in justifying their choice are astounding.
    https://twitter.com/KatyTurNBC/status/847797691203584000

    • MynameisBlarney

      My turmp supporting cousin has been quiet lately.
      Last time I talked to him he was crowing about how bad Hillary was and how awesome turmp was.

      Fuckin idjit.

      • Blackest Noobs

        my wife’s boss is a Trump supporter. her boss, before the elections, was talking politics.

        now? not so much.

        same goes for her parents.

        • Blackest Noobs

          her dad said voting for Trump meant now businesses can spend all that money they were hoarding..you know…because they’re not hampered with regulations.

          when the markets fell, he also screamed about why no one was at the gate?!?

          the disconnect is REEEEEEEDICULOUS.

          i am getting to have the opinion, every conservative over 42 years old is like Guy Pierce in Memento.

      • The silent majority won’t be silent ever again

  • Creepoman

    ” . . . the fantasy rich, sheltered WASP-y people believe is the panacea for decades of neglect of public school systems in Nowheresville and inner cities.”

    One point of clarification – the rich, sheltered WASP-y people don’t give a fuck about the neglected public schools in Nowheresville and inner cities. The real get for them is a big voucher in the amount of the school district’s per-student funding that they can apply to their spawn’s private (xtian) school tuition, or money in their pocket if they home-school. Straight up transfer of funds from public to private education.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      ^this

  • Msgr_MΩment
  • Nounverb911
    • ManchuCandidate

      Fools rush in where wise men fear to tread… so yeah.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      OMG The stupid. It burns.

      On the other hand, go ahead Donnie. If you thought the AHCA backlash was bad, wait’ll you see what happens when the oldz don’t get their Social Security checks on time.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        And when rates go up on those T-bills.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Turnip’s most ardent supporter …..and then she finds out, because of him, her Social Security check won’t be arriving and her other government benefits are on hold.

      http://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/2165492/83575269.jpg

      • ManchuCandidate

        Votes and not reading/playing Sudoku have consequences.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Not so surprising from the “burn it all down” Bannon factions, really. I’m pretty sure they don’t have an end game, but they are CONVINCED that total destruction of the government is a good thing.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      How bout a State Visit to Moscow, and then he just stays there?

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        He could set up an Eastern WH.

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      Hmmm. On the one hand The Daily Caller. On the other hand, Dampnut.

      In conclusion:
      https://media.tenor.co/images/4b32ba323922f0fd0b73aea62ce75af1/tenor.gif

    • OneYieldRegular

      Since Trump is laying waste to everything else in the country in a way that enemies of the U.S. could only dream of, why wouldn’t he be unafraid?

    • Shibusa

      He wants to shut down the 17 intelligence agencies that are onto him.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      That’s because he has no idea what the government does, despite being the “head” of it.

  • Nounverb911
    • puredog

      I believe the correct adverb is “if.”

    • Adam Schiff if full of bantz

  • ManchuCandidate

    What’s the word for “When you and your party shriek for 8 years about a ‘traitor’ and ‘Manchurian Candidate’ in the White House mostly because he has a furriner name, is black and by all accounts a decent man and then you turn around and supported/”elected” one who is exactly what you shrieked about?”

  • MynameisBlarney

    DU’s Friday Toon Roundup; ROOSHA

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10028876249

  • Nounverb911

    Trump solid record of accomplishment.
    https://twitter.com/BraddJaffy/status/847796226753953793

    • -2 botched military raids
      -200+ dead civilians

      • ariel_gee_398

        – 1 international incident w/ Australia caused by Trump doing an Eric Cartman impression while on a phone call with the PM

      • Bill D. Burger

        Trump: “You’re going to be winning so much. You’re going to be sick of winning.”

    • Truck Fump

      Hope he keeps winning!!

    • Marceline

      Don’t forget managing to embarrass himself in front of the leader of the free world.

  • bupkus23

    Marco Rubio’s “spine” is more of a “no-shower” – yet he still gets paid.

    • He has moments where you think he’s going to do something, but then it turns out he’s a tremendous coward.

      • ManchuCandidate

        Brave Brave Sir Rubio!

    • bbqboy

      Golden

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Trump sends a stupid tweet about wire tapps and everyone around him must act as if that is 100% true. He will not admit he was wrong or ill-informed or careless. The SCPOTUS is mentally ill.

  • Doug Langley

    Apologies if anyone else already posted this, but it turns out not our imagination Russia was hacking the election:

    http://www.dailykos.com/stories/2017/3/30/1648777/-The-Russian-troll-army-that-swung-the-election-for-Trump

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Y’ don’t say

    • puredog

      You know, in all seriousness, I would be muy surprised if the US has not done this, and worse, and recently, in foreign elections. Just saying is all.

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    Thanks for the late night wrap up!

  • MynameisBlarney
    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Or he just made shit up. That’s the thing. Trying to apply logical, didactic reasoning to Trump doesn’t work. If it were anyone else, I’d buy the reasoning. Here? Who knows.

    • proudgrampa

      Fascinating…

  • YellowDog

    No one should be surprised if Nunes grants Flynn some kind of immunity, to complicate/ruin any chance of Flynn being flipped by the FBI. Flynn “testifies” before the House committee, doesn’t incriminate anyone above the level of office assistant, but says enough to ensure that his statements can’t be used against him in a criminal case. Remember Oliver North.

    • Ron the Baptist

      Can he do that if he’s under investigation as well?

  • Ron the Baptist

    The G7 problem is easy to fix: make it the G6 and kick out the US. They were just gonna make a mess anyway.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I’m sitting in a corner over here with an inverted cone on my head. Guilty.

      • Ron the Baptist

        Is that what that’s for? I thought you were doing your impression of Kiri.

    • proudgrampa

      We are getting closer and closer to that reality…

  • Nounverb911

    Is disqus being disqusy this morning already?
    https://twitter.com/MattNegrin/status/847792389389508610

  • memzilla Ω
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    This is stupid and it made me chortle:
    https://twitter.com/josheiermann/status/847803265785921536

    • Doug Langley

      Cuz he’s got all the dough.

      • janecita

        Literally!

      • The Wanderer

        Trump really kneads him.

    • Shibusa

      I tried to think of a bread-pun but I have naan.

      • vivian

        Well this crusty ole doughboy ain’t gonna offer up some half-baked response.

      • Querolous

        Are you looking for pita from us?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • MynameisBlarney

    Today in, “We can’t get them out of office fast enough!” News….

    Ivanka plays major role in US-China relations.

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/03/ivanka-trump-plays-major-role-in-us-china-relations/

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Amazing how the best person for this job is Trump’s fashion model/mogul daughter.

      • MynameisBlarney

        More like infuriating.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Who has significant business interests in China.

        • The Wanderer

          And who ‘inexplicably’ got a trademark registration that he’d been angling for for a decade, just for having a ‘change of mind’ on the One China Policy.

    • proudgrampa

      This will end well.

  • NastyBossetti

    From that WaPo Tom DeLonge article: In 2015, four years after the New York Times declared that, “no punk band of the 1990s has been more influential than Blink-182″
    Say what? Had the NYT never heard of Green Day?

    • ManchuCandidate

      Blink?

      The NYT is the Johnnie Rotten of muzik journolizum.

    • Vincent Ricola

      I think some people will never get over Green Day going mainstream. #BillieJoeSoldOut

      • janecita

        Leave Billie Joe alone, he is awesome!

        • Vincent Ricola

          Oh I agree, I’m just parroting what I’ve heard my music snob friends ramble about.

          • janecita

            I’m taking my 13 year old daughter to her first concert, we are going to see Green Day on August 31st.

          • NastyBossetti

            I might be there, too!

          • janecita

            Camden, NJ?

          • NastyBossetti

            Yeah!

          • janecita

            Mini wonkette reunion!

          • NastyBossetti

            I wish Against Me! were opening on this leg of the tour, but that’s ok. I’ll be on the lawn!

          • janecita

            Let’s talk before the concert, maybe we can get together!

          • NastyBossetti

            Definitely!

      • NastyBossetti

        But Blink-182 also signed with a major label and played to huge crowds and had massive radio hits.

        • Vincent Ricola

          Blink-182 was always mainstream, Green Day came up the hard way.

          • NastyBossetti

            I’ve been a Green Day fan for a long time. I’ve heard all the arguments. They still made good albums. Are there things that suck about bands you love being mainstream? Yes, but I don’t begrudge them their success.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Honestly, I kinda lost respect for them when the did the soundtrack for some lame ass football movie with that goofy lookin fucker from 90210.

        • janecita
          • MynameisBlarney

            Honestly though, I don’t think they sold out so much as they just became successful.

            Some folks think that’s selling out.

          • Nimrod was a great album, the metaphor was perfect. They knew exactly what they were doing, and it’s impossible to say that anyone else would have made a different decision had they been in their position. Broke, hungry, mouths to feed, and road weary with more miles and albums to go, per contractual obligation, they did what seemed logical.

    • janecita

      Right? They don’t know shit about music!

    • proudgrampa

      Who the hell is Blink-182???

      • janecita
        • chicken thief

          But Travis Barker is a really good drummer! (I think he was in that band, but I’m too lazy to fire up the googlez.)

          • janecita

            He was their drummer.

        • proudgrampa

          Fascinating.

          • janecita

            And by “fascinating,” I’m assuming that you meant “terrible.”

          • proudgrampa

            Indeed.

            But also fascinating to me as a student of human behavior.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Wait…

      Blink-182 was a…”punk” band?

      Mall punk, maybe.

      • The Witch of Endor

        Here’s how you know if a “punk” band is authentic. If I’ve heard of ’em, they ain’t punk. I’ve heard of Blink-182.

        • MynameisBlarney

          My yardstick for punk bands, if they were on the radio regularly, they weren’t really “punk”.

          • Ron the Baptist

            Depends on the station. Back in the day* CFNY out of Brampton Ontario played punk and New Wave pretty much exclusively, stuff that you NEVER heard on the radio anywhere else.

            * ObOldz

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yeah, college radio is an exception as well.

          • Ron the Baptist

            Heh, while CFNY was playing punk, the local college stations were playing progressive. Toronto was a weird radio market.

          • BackDoorMan

            … ah, yes… The Spirit Of Radio… I remember it well, good times…

      • Creepoman

        Muzak punk.

      • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

        Someone, I can’t remember who, called bands like Blink “Dick Rock”

        • MynameisBlarney

          LOL

          Like cock rock, but different.

      • Annie Jomes

        Right? I’m an ol’ punk from back in the day, and ain’t no way, son.

      • NastyBossetti

        The 90s were a special time.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Time for a singalong – eat that NYT!!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1BS7XnEZqc

    • Ron the Baptist

      ‘punk band of the 1990s’
      <brushes back the same mohawk he had in the early 80s and laughs and laughs>

      • janecita

        You have a mohawk?

        • Ron the Baptist

          I do indeed. Traditional style, though, not a rooster head. My skull is WAY too round for a rooster head to look right.

      • aureolaborealis

        Do you live on Venice Beach?

        • Ron the Baptist

          Nah. Thought about it, but my Italian isn’t very good.

    • bupkus23

      Gee – one wonders what the NYT “music critic” thought of Nickelback?

      • NastyBossetti

        I shudder to think.

    • aureolaborealis

      If the people I’ve known are any indication, Blink-182 was the band that bland guys with boring desk jobs who wore cardigans without irony listened to when they wanted to feel edgy.

    • aureolaborealis

      Good music of the 90s about some bad music of the 90s:

      https://youtu.be/UsYJLpu7QnY

  • Jamoche

    Tax dodger wants to cut IRS funding, which will make the people who misplace the blame for how much they pay happy. Where’s the surprise in that?

    • bupkus23

      Just saw this at Kevin Drum’s MoJo blog:

      Link: http://www.motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2017/03/most-people-dont-pay-much-federal-income-tax

      Takeaway graph: http://www.motherjones.com/files/blog_federal_income_tax_by_income.jpg

      Yeah, he admits this is JUST federal income tax ( not including all the other, less progressive taxes we pay ), but underfunding the IRS ( even more than it is already ) is just another back-door way for the rich to screw the rest of us…

      • puredog

        Maybe I’ve forgotten how to read a graph, but that looks kind of rational to me.

        • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

          Not in this administration. Takers gotta pay!

        • bupkus23

          I think so – but it put in mind of all the hoohah about ending the Bush tax cuts ( raising the marginal rate for the very highest bracket from 36% to 39.6% ) – and the “carried interest” provision that allows certain hedge fund income to be taxed at 15%….

          Not to mention all the comments about the “47% pay no tax” bullshit last election cycle

  • Nounverb911
    • Nounverb911
    • Chadwells

      Mmmmm…Tamron Hall

    • OneYieldRegular

      I have an unfortunate autonomic reaction whenever I hear Tamron Hall’s name, which is to hear in my head Orly Taitz being interviewed by her and pleading, “TAM-ronnnnn! But TAM-ronnnnnn!”

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        When Tamron was in Orly-land / Let my Tamron goooo…

  • Shibusa
    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      I love this man so many.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I love what you’ve done with your name.

        • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

          Merci

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I’m sure Nunes will get right on that as soon as IT fixes his scheduling app.

  • bbqboy

    Would we get better drugs if we just self-declared ourselves to be a 3rd World country?

    • Jamoche

      If the South had won the Civil War they’d be a Third World country, and they’re still determined to make that happen.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    APT28 hacked @TV5MONDE and doxxed french soldiers fighting ISIS calling for revenge on their families.
    … and … no retaliation happened…

    Yet.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    I don’t dislike Blink182 but I fail to see how you can define something 20 years after it was defined.

    • Shibusa

      Fun fact: The members of Blink 182 went to Rancho Bernardo High School (San Diego area). One of the band members–Tom DeLonge–lived in Rancho Santa Fe and found the old white rich snotty neighbors too much to bear so moved. He wrote “Lillian” about RSF:
      ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ The place I used to live made me feel like a tourist
      I couldn’t co-exist with the cold and suspicious… ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

    • NastyBossetti

      Also, the bands that defined pop-punk in the 90s were more like Mr T Experience and The Queers, IMHO.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      So, to sum up, the “president” is a child who can’t decide if he wants to wear his Batman costume or his Superman cape, so Mommy picks for him and he throws a tantrum. Good to know.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Pretty much. But it’s obvious we couldn’t vote for the adult to be in charge, because she has a vag.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Alexander Stallwitz
  • Nounverb911

    Nasty anti-Rosie tweet in 3…2…1…
    https://twitter.com/NYDailyNews/status/847796169900208128

    • Chadwells

      LOL!!!! But….what about Rosie’s daughter…the one she lost? Not sure she should be talking about being a concerned parent.

      • Her daughter is not “lost” just a whole lotta bills and her money’s spent on rock

        • Chadwells

          LOL! I struggled to phrase it correctly. Yeah…she seems like a troubled kid.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      But Melania has done so much for her signature issue of cyberbullying!

    • chicken thief

      While I understand Rosie’s sentiment, I think she should follow the sage advice that if your opponent is digging himself into a hole, get out of his way. Her tweet only serves to give the Right a squirrel to chase while the focus should be on the WH and the Senate investigation.

  • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

    link 182 was not even tangentially related to punk. Don’t make Rollins angry. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Nounverb911
    • Shibusa

      But he wouldn’t jail big-mouthed sheriffs who refuse to enforce federal gun laws a couple of years ago.

      • Ron the Baptist

        That would be government overreach!

    • Chadwells

      LOL!! Asking cops to lock up other cops…GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!!!

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        You laugh, two security guards at my local mall got in a gunfight with each other.

        • Chadwells

          As cops like to say “good…let ‘me kill each other.”

          Also…Paul Blart.

    • Fartknocker

      Dear Gubnor Shit-Fer-Brains:
      The ICE local law enforcement detaining program is voluntary so it’s going to be hard for you to lock up the Travis County (Austin), Harris County (Houston), and Bexar (San Antonio) sheriffs for not complying with a voluntary program. Also, all three are imminently qualified peace officers voted into office and they are Mexicans. Please go fuck yourself and lube up the bearings on your wheel chair.

      • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

        Add El Paso (El Paso) to you list

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Let’s see you make that stick in the court system, Herr Oberstormbanfuhrer.

    • PubOption

      But aren’t sheriffs the ultimate authority?

  • Bill D. Burger

    “LOCK HIM UP! ___ LOCK HIM UP! ___ LOCK HIM UP!”

    https://i0.wp.com/ww4.hdnux.com/photos/57/14/57/12372943/5/920×1240.jpg

    • Ron the Baptist

      No, not at all. He’s done WAY more than a tenth!

      • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

        Tenth, ten times – why split hairs?

        • aureolaborealis

          What’s a couple orders of magnitude between friends?

          • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

            Math is hard

    • Shibusa

      Dare I say….Projection?

  • beingreleased

    I tweeted at Bill Kristol today (and I feel a bit dirty about it). Good to remember that Bill Kristol is wrong about everything. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2b2f411b72222aca02a2e5eaa307c431c5f3c94342ff23381195ce04a6e40d8a.png

    • Shibusa

      I am wary of ANYTHING Team Trump does. Bannon thinks he’s too clever by half.

  • Nounverb911
    • Doug Langley

      Don’t you just hate it when that happens?

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Maybe he forgot to take his car in for that airbag recall.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Dropping like proverbial flies.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I used to follow them, back in the day, but I had to give up after their 1978 world tour.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        I wonder how Jello Belarus is doing?

    • The Wanderer

      Are we sure that he wasn’t just trying to cook an egg in his microwave?

    • chicken thief

      “Stuff happens.”

      ~ Low Energy KGB Jeb!

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Well, Lada’s have a history of that. Most people don’t realize the is a special “bomb compartment” on the chassis by the fuel tank.

  • Chadwells

    Isn’t the discussion of “who is more punk rock”….actually anti-punk rock?

  • rocktonsam

    Donald was wrong!
    I am getting used to winning.

  • Shibusa
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Not a very sharp one.

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        Definitely some sort of blunt instrument.

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      He’s that one tool you have that you can’t remember what you got it for.

      • Shibusa

        My dad always says, “Just about any job is easier if you have the right tool.”

        • At the crossroads, stay strong

          I get the impression that the current crop of idiots in Washington are not from a tool using culture.

    • From Russia with Love

      A wedge. The simplest tool known to man.

  • Nounverb911

    Mike Flynn Jr to demand immunity in 3…2…1…

    https://twitter.com/BraddJaffy/status/847808663876251649

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      This begs the question of when Trump begs for immunity.

      • From Russia with Love

        That would be a good move. Get immunity and throw his entire administration to the wolves.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Supplemental Nice Time video. Pavlov’s Cats!
    https://twitter.com/dorseyshaw/status/847563000869523458

    • OrG

      My cat would have callouses on his paw.

      • From Russia with Love

        Both paws.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Damned enabler.

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      I like how the grey tabby figures out, “Hey, I get the goodies if I ring either bell.” Ivan Pavlov would be so proud.

    • Bill D. Burger

      The researcher must be using the new “Temptations” cat treats. Our spoiled mouser, who will turn up her nose at fresh shrimp in favor of her regular food, is fucking addicted to that stuff and will rush to the pantry and actually meow (she never meows) begging for it. ___ It’s not kitty-crack; it’s kitty heroin.

    • janecita

      That video is adorable!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      That there be operant conditioning, which be distinct from classical conditioning, matey. Arrr….

    • mancityRed6

      *throws bells out the window*

  • Tillerson Rex: Ahhhhhh! Get me Mike Flynn immediately! (spotting Ollie North) North, I want to know absolutely everything that’s happened up till now!

    North: First the earth cooled. Then the dinosaurs came but were too big and died and everything got rotten and turned into oil and the Arabs bought Mercedes Benzs and then there was the best TV special on Judy Garland. Then we lost the war with Albania. Then…

    https://media4.giphy.com/media/Gg5V4DeHMdaeY/giphy.gif

    • theblackdog

      To the tower! Rapunzel!

    • From Russia with Love

      In the beginning there were warm lumps.

      • eggsacklywright

        Then the amoebas had a party.

  • Nounverb911
    • RobKanC

      So was he having a stroke? Come on. Don’t leave us hanging

    • Jamoche

      New to twitter, is he?

  • chicken thief

    Mike “Save Me, I No Wanna Go To Jail, Wahhhh!!!” Flynn is no Ollie “Fuck You Congressional Hearings” North, who love him or hate him (as most people do), pretty much single handedly saved St Ronnie from being directly implicated in Iran-Contra.

    • puredog

      If we’ve gone from nostalgia for Dubya straight to wistfulness over Ollie, I’d say we need to get a move-on here.

      • chicken thief

        Can we go for “None of them, Katie!”? I was only comparing nutsack sizes when cornered – raisins to bowling balls, as it were.

    • OrG

      I’ll go with hate.

  • CW

    It would be a shame for Jill Stein to have no one to dine with. How about mixed gender dining halls in Federal prisons?

  • Nounverb911
  • Chadwells

    OT: these Santa Ana’s are killing my allergies and I feel like I slept on a pile of newspapers.

    • janecita

      God Damned, illegal alien wind! Deport it!!!

      • Chadwells

        HAHA!! If I could…I would!!

      • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

        Remember the Alamo!!!!!

  • Social Justice Columbo
    • From Russia with Love

      Buddy up with Trump and you can take it back to the 1950s when everybody had a coal fire in the hearth.

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    Blink 182 defined punk rock the same way Jethro Tull won the grammy for “best hard rock/heavy metal” recording.

    • Skin flute solo’s are underrated.

      • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

        Not in my household. They are rewarded with cookies.

      • From Russia with Love

        Not if the soloist swallows the music.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        It depends on the skill of the flutist.

    • Lefty Frizzell
  • Tallmutha

    They have the same weird idée fixe about schooling as about healthcare–that what people are starving for, just can’t get enough of, is lotsa choice, whereas I’d bet far more people would prefer fewer choices but between good options.

    • laughingnome

      Education is a weird choice. It’s not like everyone can just send their kids off the best school – most people have to “choose” the schools in their neighborhoods. The market doesn’t work on everything. Shitheads.

      • Tallmutha

        The funniest manifestation is when they talk about giving consumers tons of “exciting choices” for healthcare. Can you imagine anything more exciting than combing through insurance plans?

        • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

          Jesus Fuck, I had to chose between 3 MCO’s and nearly lost my mind.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Don’t you love that whole “choice” obsession in healthcare? Like healthcare comes with arbitrary aspects that are just to suit your personality. Let’s see – I want to make the really idiosyncratic ‘choice’ to have maximal benefits for the minimum price. Ain’t I creative!

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Not to mention choices for health care providers. Wouldn’t you just love calling 911 in the middle of a medical emergency and have the dispatcher go through the day’s best deals for great savings on your local ambulances and ERs? Everybody would totally love to have those kinds of choices to make, right?

      • Tallmutha

        IK,R? You’ll probably come up with a master stroke nobody’s ever thought of before!

        • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

          I’m sure a plan in Arkansas is better than one in Massachusetts.

    • From Russia with Love

      Also, well to do Republicans DO send their kids to the best schools, but they still come out believing the world is ~4.5 billion years younger than their geology professors taught them it is.

    • Annie Jomes

      I don’t trust that any of them actually believe the crap that they say; I think they just don’t care. They blah-blah-blah about “choice” because *they* have great options. They know that other people can’t make such “choices,” but that’s those people’s problem. After all, “choice” is working wonderfully for *them*!

    • Weevie

      Those who want lotsa choice tend to choose the same thing over and over, but want to feel they have the right to be boring!

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      “Choice” for everything except whether to spend $250,000, and massive amounts of time and energy you may or may not have, for the next eighteen years.

  • Flashman

    I, too, will tell the Committee everything I know in exchange for immunity: Trump is a viscious clown; the GOP is a party of miscreants; O’dell’s 90 Shilling Ale is best.

    • Crystalclear12

      Objection, how do you know who has the best ale until you try all the ales, have you?!

      • Thaumaturgist

        Here’s my offer: bankroll me and I’ll do the research.

        • Crystalclear12

          Sorry all extra money goes to Wonkette.

      • Flashman

        I…I…no…NO, I haven’t! (((bursts into anguished sobs)))

    • From Russia with Love

      Hook Norton live ale, or GTFO!

      • PubOption

        “Hook Norton refreshes the parts Heineken dare not mention” – graffito in pub bathroom in Ledbury.

        • From Russia with Love

          The only beer I ever bought in a box, and I still miss it.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Goose Island India Pale Ale. That is all.

        (And yes, I know Goose Island is now owned by Anheuser-Busch. Shut up.)

  • Proud Liberal

    We are in deep doo doo. I just heard a bunch of Republicans who support Trump say “Forget about Russia. Our country is just as bad. Forget about Putin and let Trump be President.” Fuck!

    • AJ Milne

      If your country were just as bad (spoiler: really no), it would be _because_ Trump’s autocratic urges were unchecked. As is the case with Putin.

      So. GOP numbnuts aren’t logicking so good. This construction of theirs is something akin to self-fulfilling prophecy. Call it self-fulfilling exaggeration.

      So. Let Trump be Trump? Hardly.

      Let Trump be fired. So your country heads no further in that direction.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      It’s getting to the point where I think we can safely leave those who hold such opinions in the muck where their talents and brains have deposited them, and move forward, wiser, sadder, and (feeling, if not actually) much, much older.

      • Proud Liberal

        Those people depressed the shit out of me. How did we get to this point?

        • AJ Milne

          Oh. Hey. That’s me! I answer rhetorical questions!

          Seriously, anyway:

          . democracies are _always_ a bit of a tightrope walk.

          . power and wealth tend to concentrate over time.

          . lots of places have divisions that aggravate this.

          . it’s not just the US; it’s a lot of places right now.

          . the rapid pace of recent telecomm technological change is probably part of it. It’s like a lot of places there’s no real national conversation anymore, so much as several different ones, probably in part due to this.

          . authoritarian movements are exploiting this opening, creating their own disinformation ecosystems.

          . established autocrats seeking to exploit all of the above really don’t help.

          . more broadly there are worldwide pressures. Probably in part aggravated at their base, ultimately, by environmental degradation putting stress on food and water supplies, and creating related instabilities.

          … I know you probably know all this. Just saying: I know it’s discouraging.

          All you can do is stay in the fight, keep caring, stay engaged. Interesting times. I figure we’ll live even through this. Discouraging encounters and all.

    • Apple Scruff

      I was scared for a second, but then I realized these are supporters, and not actual congressman.

      CNN seeks out these morons because it makes good TV. There are not as many of them as it seems.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    “Employees at the State Department recently reported sightings of a rare Rex Tillerson roaming the barren caverns of Foggy Bottom, however experts caution that one is NEVER to make eye contact with the beast!”

    https://www.geek.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/bigfoot-625×440.jpg

  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    Betsy DeVos should be made to teach in a rural public school, say in Brownbackistan, where they have no ‘choice’ about what school to go to. She’s just a stuck-up rich city bitch who hasn’t a clue about places where there is no ‘choice’ and vouchers would be less useful than toilet paper.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Oh, I’m sure there are some industrious grifters plotting how they can “create demand” in those little back woods. If there is money to be made the vultures will come a-callin’…

      But real talk, yes, I grew up in one of those kinds of places in eastern NC. When I was growing up, most people went to the public schools, and the only “choice” was whether you went to school in the city or in the county. They tried to do a charter school but it was a lost cause because the market of students just isn’t big enough given the low population density.

    • DrBigHead

      I attended school in the 60’s and early 70’s in a large suburban Minneapolis school district. There were fairly regular bond elections to increase funding to the schools., They were NEVER rejected and usually approved by a wide margin. I often wonder what the hell happened since then.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Fellow Twin Citian here. I’m putting my money on a Snob Invasion… but it’s tough to time just when that wave came in, and where.

        In 1997, I left a private school to return to my home district, and a classmate’s mother asked mine on the phone whether she really thought I could get a decent education in that… public school. At least in the relay I got, I could almost hear the bile rising in the other woman’s throat during the pause. Mom was STEAMED for a good six hours afterward over the prospect that anyone could think in such a way.

        The kicker? Mom’s a moderate Republican, and this was Prior Lake. Pretty green country in its own right, and we’re not just talking trees. Anecdotal, I know, but reflective of how we’ve gone from “even well-to-do Republicans respect and value public education” to Betsy Effing DeVos in just 20 years.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Completely OT but WTF is wrong with Discus today? Every time I upfist one of you fine folks, all the “show new replies” vanish! Also it keeps promising me “fifteen new comments” and three appear. Grrrrrr

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Ya know what makes me hopeful about all this noise about Flynn? The fact that you don’t give immunity to a small fish to catch a smaller fish. The only reason to even think he could get immunity is that his “story” (as his lawyer put it) will nail Dolt 45. Now, I’m going out and invest in some popcorn futures.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Could also be about bannon i guess

  • Doug Langley

    Just in time for the weekend: this week’s installment of the continuing takedown of Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead:

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/daylightatheism/2017/03/fountainhead-good-classic/

  • Mavenmaven

    Mike Flynn bringing down Trump probably under orders from Putin to do so…

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Trump is hoping that once Flynn in immunized he will become Autistic, and unable to concentrate.

    • Weevie

      Is that what’s wrong with Trump? Those anti-vax doofuses are really right? Never trust a doofus!

  • Thaumaturgist

    Former US Rep. Steve Stockman offers some perspective on how generously the Feds treat cooperating witnesses. The guy who flipped in the case against Stockman and one of his key staffers will be allowed to plead to mail/wire fraud. Max sentence is twenty years but federal guidelines tie the sentence to the dollars involved. Guidelines allow for a year or two for defendants who ” cooperate.” http://talkingpointsmemo.com/muckraker/steve-stockman-texas-lawmaker-indicted-federal-corruption-charges

  • thewalkindude

    North Korea has threatened war with the United States after John McCain branded its leader Kim Jong-un a “crazy fat kid”.
    The statement ended with a warning that North Korea “will fulfil its sacred mission” of “dealing a merciless sledge-hammer blow at those daring hurt the dignity of the supreme leadership”.

    Mr McCain ridiculed the response, tweeting: “What, did they want me to call him a crazy skinny kid?”

    • Weevie

      North Korea will be lucky if they don’t blow up themselves by mistake. They gotta be running out of money with those multimillion dollar missile poofs.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Not to mention having the fourth-largest army in the world. In a country the size of Pennsylvania. Most of whose population is starving.

        • Ms.Moon

          It’s really sad I saw a picture of a North Korean man standing between to a South Korean man and an American man he North Korean man was more than a head shorter than both men. South Koreans and North Koreans are genetically the same people but malnutrition keeps the people tiny.

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      I like McCain’s flashes of sanity

    • William
    • Apple Scruff

      I had to look this up to see if it was true! LOL.

      McCain, I hate you for making me like you today.

  • DerpyGurdyMan
  • Way too many agenda items for one week. Or was this for just today? Jesus.

  • DerpyGurdyMan
  • CW

    Is it progressive in wanting Jill Stein to get equal prison time as Flynn?

    • Weevie

      No, she’s an embarrassment to the Medical profession.

      • CW

        She went to Harvard medical school, yet still believes that crap. Must have dropped a lot of acid back in the day.

        • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

          And never stopped

    • C4TWOMAN

      On “Colony” last night, one of the resistance leaders was EXACTLY like Stein: we’re making a difference by blowing collaborators up–“collaborators” being defined by these people as the barrista who serves occupation troops, or perhaps even a troop’s own dog.

      Our anti-hero’s just want the damn piece of alien tech so they can do something effective and real, but nope, if you don’t agree with Red Hand Resistance Mamma about EVERYTHING, it doesn’t matter if you have an actual means to END the occupation: ideology apparently is more important than victory.

      That’s Jill Stein in a nutshell.

      • eggsacklywright

        Interesting show, red hats and all. I wonder if the red hats say MAGA in really small print.

  • William
  • C4TWOMAN

    ” Trump is starting a war with the tea party crazies and we would love to pour gallons of gasoline on that dumpster fire.”

    I haven’t followed this as closely as I’d like. I’d be awesome if it’s real, but be aware the Tea Party/Paultard/Political Conspiracy loons/scammers are an old dabs at asymmetrical maneuvering, front groups and creating their own “competition” to better control perception, opposition, and …very important…the real sources/architects of which ever political fraud du jour they’re currently pushing.

    Just fyi. Enjoy the shadenfraude(did I spell it right? did I? Gold starz plz? Maybe?), but don’t take it too seriously unless criminal charges stick with on one or both parties.

    EDIT: alla spelling

    • CW

      There’s a genuine war spinning up. The Tea Party always thought Trump was a a phony conservative, and trying to push Trumpcare proved that to them. Remember that Cruz wasn’t too far behind Donnie in support, it was just the winner-take-all primaries that sealed the deal.

      • C4TWOMAN

        You really have to remember, anything you say the “Tea Party” anything, you are speaking about a group of political frauds fronting what we eventually would learn was the Alt-right.

        So I’m sure that’s a message they want out there. I’m even sure many Tea Partiers believe it. But you should no way trust what what the leaders are fronting.

        Think about it another way: there are lots of benefits to distancing their ideology from Trump. I just can’t figure at this stage if its a maneuver to save the ass of leadership, or to keep their loyal but gullible base from disbanding.

        And isn’t it odd this alleged schism is only blowing up now that Trump has been proven to be ineffective? Alex Jones was part of the Tea Party machine, and right now I’m sure he’s having some buyer’s remorse moments. And he can’t maneuver himself away from Trump elegantly. But the core of the Tea Party/Campaign for Liberty people have been pretty clever keeping their propaganda “flexible”.

        This is all about self preservation IMHO.

  • William

    Hey Mike. Stay away from any Russians offering to buy you a drink. Especially if the drink glows in the dark.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6de146b6f052f00dc190985f3b6bffe569888a37db2bd44c4b183a7630f63d23.jpg

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Da, is fine to take drink. Is not to worry about my rubles. To cher is nobyl.

  • Apple Scruff

    I oppose everything the Freedom Caucus stands for, but the way they are fighting Trump is glorious. One of them was asked by a reporter yesterday, “What do you think about Trump’s threats against you?” and the guy is like, “Maybe a 5th grader could get away with it, but not here.”

  • Apple Scruff

    I love how a guy from Blink 182 is said to “define pop punk”.

    • resistance_fighter_rosenbomb

      Ugh, gag me.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Limp Biscuit Libelz!!1!11

    • The Flaming Carrot

      It tastes faintly of stale French bubble gum, circa 1974.

  • DerpyGurdyMan
    • Bad Tom

      Nice to see R.Crumb* still has it.
      ——-
      * Or someone very like him.

  • Reximus
  • Up In Smoke O’hontas
    • Choosymom

      Aaaaahhhh! Runaway!!!

    • lroom

      Pennywise libulz! He’s way too classy for Trump.

  • Raan

    According to Woolie of the Best Friends Zaibatsu, Mike Flynn is about to be hip-hop as fuck. Because hip-hop says you don’t snitch, but hip-hop’s also about going against the rules, so by that logic, hip-hop prime is a huge snitch.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Hip-hop prime is derivative, though. #SorryForMathJokeOnDickJokeBlog

      • Raan

        Don’t be sorry, I’m the one bringing up the podcast of a Canadian Let’s Play group.

  • To be fair, Blink 182 does have a habit of kicking out members… They’re a 3 piece band and have kicked out 3 original members… Granted, Tom was kicked out twice, but still!

  • Me not sure

    If he gets immunity it will likely be followed by defenistration from higher than the fourth floor. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e217a150937c027b89dda15036ee1a04574fb07cc45ffdea74f6bc9c45ad8e7f.gif

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    I would never let Rex Tillerson anywhere near my Foggy Bottom. Justin Trudeau, on the other hand…

  • David Chaillou

    “We will build a big, beautiful wall, and WE WILL PAY MEXICO FOR IT”. Isn’t that what he said all along ?

    • Hardly Ideal

      Pfff, you can bet your bottom Amero that it’s probably on his Twitter feed somewhere.

      • David Chaillou

        Deal. How will I collect ?

  • Me not sure

    BTW : The GA DOT stored a bunch of construction material under a raised section of I-85 and it caught fire yesterday causing the entire section to collapse. If traveling through Atlanta take the I-285 perimeter and avoid going through town at all cost. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7c51d51b6021b62b1d5a56fe3a5a18a2657c62234b6498e353db62ed72d146d7.jpg

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      It is a true clusterfuck. I live immediately east of this and they have closed 4 exits that would allow access to this area to the immediate north. The columns all around there that did not collapse could collapse and need to be replaced. The air is toxic since it was PVC that was burning. Houses in the area have been evacuated. There is a brewery nearby called Sweetwater that needs to create a new brew called “GOP Fuckup”.

      • Me not sure

        I usde to live near there in my callow youth. Whoever decided to store flammable plastics under an elevated highway needs to be fired.

  • SweetDeeKat

    I have an unpopular opinion about the IRS – they are overworked, underfunded and unable to collect beelyuns of dollars from rich fucks that we desperately need. I work with them regularly, like them, and feel sorry for them. I get frustrated because they are doing the best they can, but morale is in a black hole.

    • Scrofula

      Many years ago, my mother, one of a few career IRS family members, was sheltering in place because some asshole was launching bombs through a homemade mortar. Blew up a couple cars and set fire to the roof.
      Thing is, we IRS folks are just depressed bureaucrats happy to swing a credit. It’s your goddamned congress rep that writes the laws.
      And no one wants to throw some bucks at us for basic improvements.
      ETA: http://articles.latimes.com/1991-04-02/news/mn-1836_1_processing-center

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        I worked for the IRS for over ten years, back in the 80s and 90s – most of the ex’s family worked there and when he and I needed a night job, his mom suggested we take the test. I worked full time there all through college.
        I remember that attack, and a number of other threats and so on, mostly from dumbass tax protesters. Morale sucked back then also too because there was never enough money, pay was low, and we knew we were hated…but at least we felt like the rest of the government had our backs. Now, I’m guessing not so much, given
        Most of the people I worked with really wanted to do a good job, and believed they were helping the government to help other citizens. They were taxpayers themselves (want to make an IRS worker laugh? Ask about an employee discount) and took Oliver Wendell Holmes’ comment about taxes being the price we pay to live in a civilized society seriously.

        • Scrofula

          You might remember the IRS slogan on the walls, “WE FUND FREEDOM”. You weren’t at the Fresno service center, were you? Mom?

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            Naw… Brookhaven. I started out on nights in Tax Shelter but went to Internal Audit after a while. I left in 98.
            I remember there were a few attacks in the late 80s and early 90s. The bosses tried to downplay them, but there was a long period of time when we were all pretty jittery from the attacks and security got tighter so we couldn’t get away with putting chimp or baby pictures over the pictures on our badges any more. That was sad.

          • Scrofula

            Well I sucked up and got a temp mailroom job. The elders say that as Tax Day approaches, people start sending more and more crazy shit with their returns. I think, you asshole putting dogshit on your return, so you can piss off some GS03 temp? Call your fuckin congressman who sets the laws.

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            Oh, my ex-sister-in-law worked in returns processing for a while ages ago (she’s still there, after 30 years) and claims to have processed a return written on a shirt, and said she knew people who processed returns written on toilet paper. I know both have happened… I’m just not inclined to believe her.
            I do know that every year, angry people send returns that have been smeared with shit or blood or look pee’d on, or accompanied by nasty letters, or with used cat litter in the envelope, or some white powder that turns out to be talcum. They don’t care that they’re harming some poor schlub who took a temp or intermittent job… the hate is that strong.

          • Scrofula

            I open the actual envelopes, and so far I haven’t gotten anything gross. It IS amazing that apparently filing your taxes while drunk is a thing. Take every piece of paper in your house, tape it out of order and roll it into a ball. And include a nasty letter demanding a rapid refund.

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            Yep – the IRS mailroom has always been an adventure!!

    • desertwind

      I’ve always had a ‘fluctuating’ income. . . . Years ago, I called IRS to ask what I should do since I had no monies and owed $900. I can still hear the sweet, fatherly man on the helpline: “You can’t pay any-thing?” Then he walked me through what to do.

  • Bill Slider

    We must be past due for an entrance by Barbie spice Sarah, our lovely Sara. An office next to Ivanka would be nice.

  • capnkrunch

    I was feeling nostalgic a while back so I put on Blink-182’s greatest hits. There’s a cover of Another Girl, Another Planet by The Only Ones on it. Back when I was young and naive I thought that it was a song about hot alien girls because that’s what it sounds like when spacemen Mark and Tom sing it.

    I later came to realize that it is actually a song about heroin. Mark just doesn’t have the “clearly high on heroin when this was recorded” sound that Peter Perrett does. With that, here is a song that was much better when Blink-182 wasn’t playing it:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvO7HNQPFRI

  • The Flaming Carrot

    I confess that I missed Blink-182. I must have blinked.

  • That Tom DeLonge story had better turn into our open thread. Just sayin’.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    You know what snitches get in Russia? Not stitches…well, except at the autopsy

  • William Trent

    Use nootropics, get smarter! http://amzn.to/2np9ynL

  • tkingt

    When I was in the joint, I saw a guy get shanked because he was a “commie lover”. Private Flynn will beg for segregation.

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