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The Daily Mail rocked the internet today with a front page heralding the exciting discovery of two mysterious long, skin-covered appendages protruding from the torsos of both UK Prime Minister Theresa May and Scottish First Minister Nicola Sturgeon. According to evolutionary scientists, said appendages are called “legs,” and are a vestigial trait from the time when humans had to “walk” in order to get anywhere, rather than float from room to room as we do now. Some early humans were also known to attach wheels to the bottom portion of these legs (known as “feet”) in order to get places faster.

There are still, of course, many people out there who still have these limbs, but who would have guessed that both the Prime Minister of the UK and the Scottish First Minister would have them. What are the odds?

Opposition leader Jeremy Corbyn was quick to comment on the sexism of highlighting women with legs.

Corbyn, too, is a leg-haver, which no one ever seems to bring up.

It sure is strange how men can get away with going around, having tube-like appendages extending out of their torsos without anyone ever bringing it up — least of all on the front page of a tabloid!

When asked her opinion on the Mail’s cover, May stated, “You would not expect me to comment on what newspapers should or should not put on their front pages.” Which I suppose means they have different policies over there in England, as our own president is usually the first to comment every time one of our newspapers point out his lack of a leg to stand on.

The Mail delved further into the astounding discovery of May’s and Sturgeon’s aberrant “limbs” inside the paper. The sub-heading of one article even read “Finest weapons at their command? Those pins!” — a clear reference to the erroneous and outdated assumption that legs-havers go around kicking people all day. Another column, by Sarah Vine, suggested that perhaps Sturgeon was attempting to sex up May, or someone, with her wanton leg-crossing, described as being “altogether more flirty, tantalisingly crossed … a direct attempt at seduction.”

In response to criticism that their cover and subsequent articles were sexist, outmoded and offensive to leg-havers everywhere, the Mail released a statement assuring detractors that they cover more than leg-related political issues, and encouraging them to “Get a life!”

“For goodness sake, get a life! Sarah Vine’s piece, which was flagged as light-hearted, was a side-bar alongside a serious political story. It appeared in an 84-page paper packed with important news and analysis, a front-page exclusive on cost-cutting in the NHS and a health supplement devoted to women’s health issues.

“For the record, the Mail was the paper which, more than any other, backed Theresa May for the top job. Again for the record, we often comment on the appearance of male politicians including Cameron’s waistline, Osborne’s hair, Corbyn’s clothes – and even Boris’s legs. Is there a rule that says political coverage must be dull or has a po-faced BBC and leftwing commentariat, so obsessed by the Daily Mail, lost all sense of humour … and proportion?”

If Theresa May and Nicola Sturgeon have legs, that is just fine with the Daily Mail, so long as when they comment on them, everyone collectively goes “OH! Good one! You are very funny and clever! And you did a PUN!” Because they are not delicate snowflakes like all those Society For The Protection of Human Persons With Legs types out there who need to have their feelings protected. Perhaps we all need to take a lesson here and realize that instead of coddling the feelings of women leg-havers, we ought to be coddling the feelings of people who think they are funny but in fact are not.

[The Guardian]

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  • canes_pugnaces

    Before dinner, I’m going to check to see if my daughter has these, too. I was wondering how she got across Central Park on her way to and fro school.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Forget legs, women are human now?”
    — Daily Male

    • Lascauxcaveman

      And apparently at the head of their governments, as well.

      Daily Mail = shite rag.

  • calliecallie

    Put some leggings on those things!

    • willi0000000

      . . . and then stay off the plane!

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    For the record: Daily mail readers are the closest thing Europe can offer to equal Trump voters. Calling the Daily Mail a news paper would be calling the National Enquirer an elitist leftist platform.

  • schmannity

    What are those GIANT appendages at the ends of their arms? So unlike Trump.

  • BoziSpicer

    Do they still do topless on page 3?

  • Creepoman

    Say, you know who else had legs? Am I doing this right? I don’t think I’m doing this right.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    This is just another difference between Daleks and women.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Most women don’t follow me around yelling “Exterminate! Exterminate!” , either.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Unless they’re die-hard Dr. Who fans.

      • willi0000000

        just “most” . . . ?

        • Oblios_Cap

          There’s always a couple that don’t fit the profile. and the one that follow me around yelling ” You will be deleted” are the worst of the bunch.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Lucky.

      • Monsieur_Grumpe

        That reminds me of my high school years for some reason.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Female centipedes are unimpressed with this story.

  • Mavenmaven

    Yes, the British are all wankers.

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      Correction: the English are wankers.

      • Mavenmaven

        I had just come back to the site to correct this, but you got here first, hopefully not with Begbie.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “It’s SHITE being Scottish! … Some hate the English. I don’t. They’re just wankers. We, on the other hand, are COLONIZED by wankers. Can’t even find a decent culture to be colonized BY. ”
        Trainspotting

        • I saw they was makin a sequel to that. Not sure if excited or not by that prospect

          • Latverian Diplomat

            It’s called T2 Trainspotting, in released now.

            Boyle and McGregor are both involved, and it’s based at least somewhat on the sequel novel, FWIW.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Jodrells

  • Oblios_Cap

    “Finest weapons at their command? Those pins!”
    I thought the correct term was “gams”. I’m so far behind the times.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Pipe those gams!

    • therblig

      stems?

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I am reminded why I don’t have any Olivia Newton John recordings.

    • BoziSpicer

      Have you ever been mellow?

      • msanthropesmr

        I never been to me either.

        • BoziSpicer

          Don’t play B-17.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        just mellow yellow…

        • tomamitai

          I miss Screaming Yellow Zonkers :(

        • Creepoman

          True story, and my one flash of television stardom: In 7th grade band, we performed the headline act for the grand opening of our new post office, playing “Mellow Yellow” and “The Star Spangled Banner.” About eight seconds of coverage on local news. Third-chair trombone, way in the back. That was me!

      • The Wanderer

        Recently? About ten years ago I spent part of my annual vacation in a tent in the woods, and another part at a 4-star hotel. It realigned my humours and it took four weeks at work before my mellow was harshed.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I believe that I might have bought a couple of albums for their “cover art”.

    • DerrickWildcat
      • aureolaborealis

        Oh dear.
        My parents used to call her “Olivia Newton-Toilet.”

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I’m not sure this story is going to have legs.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I have awesome legs and you don’t see sticking them on the cover of a booklet of toilet paper.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Fun facts about the Daily Mail readership, shamelessly swiped from Wikipedia:

    It was aimed at both men and women from the outset, was the first to provide features especially for women, and in the second half of 2013 had a 54.77% female readership, the only British newspaper whose female readers constitute more than 50% of its demographic. A survey in 2014 found the average age of its reader was 58, and it had the lowest demographic for 15-44 year olds among the major British dailies

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daily_Mail

    • Oblios_Cap

      I never thought of myself as being The Daily Mail readers’ demographic, but there you go.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your demographic. :-(

  • SayItWithWookies

    For shame, Daily Mail. I’m glad someone had the good sense to call out this primitive, boorish behavior. Now back to ogling Justin Trudeau…

  • The Wanderer
  • Creepoman

    For what it’s worth, I’ll take Tammy Duckworth over either of these ladies in an ass-kicking contest.

  • The Wanderer

    “I’ve got two legs from my hips to the ground,
    And when I move ’em they walk around,
    And when I lift ’em they climb the stairs,
    And when I shave ’em they ain’t got hairs.”

  • Isn’t Melania suing the daily fail?

    • That’s why the Daily Mail suddenly decided they didn’t like Trump, I imagine.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    OT: Spicer’s presser ends with him telling a black female reporter to stop shaking her head like a massa complaining you can’t get help that isn’t uppity anymore.

    • ….whut?

      • tapp_my_wire,please

        April Ryan (20 year WH vet reporter) corners him and he tries to shut her down

        • No really, he told her to stop shaking her head? For real?

          • tapp_my_wire,please

            uh huh

          • I think I may have to take a side trip to DC this weekend. For reasons.

          • arglebargle

            Take lots of votes with you.

        • SayItWithWookies

          Wasn’t she the one who asked Assmouth why he hadn’t met with the Congressional Black Caucus yet and he asked her to arrange the meeting? So not racist.

          • tapp_my_wire,please

            right. the same one who should set up a meeting with her people in secret blackese language

    • SayItWithWookies

      Melissa McCarthy’s impression of him is more prescient every day.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Those were some ugly optics. Spicer is a real piece of shit.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    The really amusing thought is of vicars, beadles, and numberless men in trenchcoats in dark corners of the London Underground, furtively masturbating to their copies of The Daily Mail.

    I mean, come on, when the cover is that hot, how can they help themselves?

    • It is kinda funny that conservative outlets LURVE to cover them lady conservative politician- when it is about their looks.
      No, really. that is all they seem to cover about them. They look good! They have nice legs! As if that is all that concerns conservatives about their lady politicians.
      Weird, right?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Paedophile Vicar Libelz!

      Wait, what?

  • God Emperor Emeritus

    In related news, Scotland authorizes Legs-Haver to begin planning for another independence referendum.
    https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/mar/28/scottish-parliament-votes-for-second-independence-referendum-nicola-sturgeon

  • Oblios_Cap

    At least The Mail didn’t refer to them as bagpipes.

  • Chadwells

    Anyone post a link to ZZ Top yet?!

  • Jenny

    But what about the horrors of a pant suit!!!

  • DerrickWildcat

    Stupid England thinks it can leave the EU and pick up the slack with trade with the U.S.
    But the only thing they have worth anything is Jaffa Cakes

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      The only thing I know about Jaffa Cakes is that if you’re really bored, Google “Jaffa Cake Tax”.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Brown sauce?

    • WeaselPoo

      And Marmite, and Twiglets, and Licorice Allsorts, and chipolatas and Weetabix and Terry’s Chocolate Orange and cheese & onion crisps ( chips in the US) and Stilton.

      • DerrickWildcat

        Marmite: Unfollowed!

      • Royal Ugly Dude

        They are out of Stilton. The cat’s eaten it.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      and real Cadbury’s chocolate … not that fake shite made by Hershey’s

      • Thiazin Red

        I tried it and cheap UK chocolate is worlds better than cheap US chocolate. Kit Kats from England are really good.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          IKR? I stop in Tesco to stock up before coming back to the US. Even grocery store chocolate in the UK is better than most everything made in the US.

      • Mmm, Cadbury’s chocolate… Cadbury World here in England is one of the greatest places ever. You get loads of free chocolate!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Chances are, your English Muffins, English Breakfast Tea, and English Horns were not made in England.

    • Thiazin Red

      Wasn’t there literally a plan to promote trade with the UK based on innovative jams?

      • DerrickWildcat

        I’d support that.

  • William
    • The Wanderer

      (giggles)

    • Shanzgood 🥓

      Not a foot, no. Only about six inches.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    At least they weren’t wearing pants.

  • Lizzietish81

    So what if we put something blatantly sexist on our front cover?! The paper has other stuff we chose not to advertise!

  • Saxo the Grammarian
  • Royal Ugly Dude
  • William

    I think it’s horrible that these women flaunt their legs so soon after *sniff*..well….you know.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/29015ae7916b6b6b682126f39a484e8425bc5ea0cd9ad5a4e9c36e7f717aabe2.jpg

    • Lolitabhorton

      Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !dy233c:
      On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
      !dy233c:
      ➽➽
      ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs533TopSourceGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!dy233c:….,……..

  • MynameisBlarney
    • therblig
    • janecita

      I used to tell my kids “touch with your eyes, not with your hands,” my son was two at the time, and proceeded to try to touch everything at the store with his eyes. Thank God for strollers!

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Another gentle reminder to drop a dime to your Congresscritter ….

    You have just hours to stop Congress from giving away your web browsing history
    Time to make some calls
    The fight over the FCC’s broadband privacy rules is not over. The House votes today, and as we saw with last week’s attempt at repealing the Affordable Care Act, when Americans tell their Representatives that they don’t want them to take away their hard-won protections, the House will listen. Color of Change, the Electronic Frontier Foundation, and Free Press have simple ways for you to tell your Representative what you think of the FCC’s rules and Congress’ efforts to eliminate them.

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    Holy crap! I just got back from the doctor and she told me I had legs too. She gave me a prescription for Leggs.

    Thanks Obamacare!

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      Did your lady doctor have them too? If so, this thing may be spiralling out of control.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    I thought one of the British papers comment about former London mayor Boris Johnson was pretty humorous.

    ‘He’s like Donald Trump with his hair on backwards.’
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CwzIKgdXcAUEoat.jpg

    • Thiazin Red

      That is a good one.

    • Shanzgood 🥓

      I’ve said this about Boris before but every picture of him still makes me think he looks like he just got interrupted during a complicated masturbation session.

      • The Wanderer

        “Oh, bollocks! Now I must haul the counterweight back up into position and reset the hamster in his wheel.”

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Is there any other kind?

        • redblack

          you’re doing it wrong.

  • Creepoman
    • Royal Ugly Dude

      I would vote for that manatee.

      • Creepoman

        Probably actually cares about the environment, and no way can it push the red button with those oven mitts.

      • tomamitai

        Can’t see the tail, it may be a Dugong.

        • BoziSpicer

          Or a Dugger.

  • (Victorian)Oh my goodness! They’re showing their ankles! Oh, oh, someone bring me my smelling salts! (/Victorian)

  • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

    Pffft. Wonketeers got legs like that. ‘Cause we ain’t wearin’ no pants.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Agree, I’d confirm but photos of my legs have been banned in 46 states.

    • redblack

      faulty logic. with no legs, why would we need pants?

  • Chadwells
    • The Wanderer

      AIYEE!

    • cheetojeebus

      I’m feeling happy in my tidy whiteys.

    • Finnabar87

      Sponge Bob is such a cheerful sea creature.

  • proudgrampa

    Nice Legs..

    No. Really. Nice Legs.

  • MynameisBlarney

    You know who ELSE had legs?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXtQZVN9u7o

    • The Wanderer

      Human Centipede?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Maybe…
        I never watched that one.

        • The Wanderer

          Neither did I.

    • Creepoman

      Alferd Packer?

    • proudgrampa

      I had erotic dreams about Juliet…

      • MynameisBlarney

        I don’t think I ever did, but she was one of the 1st “girls” that I didn’t believe had cooties. The others were Princess Leia, Farrah Fawcett and Dorothy Hamill.

        Keep in mind I wasn’t even 10 years old yet when these women were famous.

        • proudgrampa

          You’re just a young whippersnapper!

          • arglebargle

            How ’bout Mary Tyler Moore and Suzanne Pleshette?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Ah yes…
            If only I had a time machine…I could go back in time and get rejected by all those lovely women.

          • proudgrampa

            Mmmmm. Suzanne Pleshette. She had The Voice that I just loved.

            More erotic dreams…

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            Suzanne was really something. :) I was never into Farrah, I was into brunettes like Suzanne, Lynda Carter, Carrie Fisher, and Jacqueline Smith.

          • proudgrampa

            Ah. You have learned the Secret, Grasshopper.

            Brunettes have more fun!

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            XD I like all kinds now, but even my mom noticed I was into Brunettes more than anything when I was that age.

        • aureolaborealis

          Lindsey Wagner. Raquel Welch.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

          Precocious! :D

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Ah Juliet. She was one of the inspirations to retire to my bedroom when I was 16 to do my ‘homework’.

    • Panika MCD

      I thought those things had Pokemon in them. fuck. what am I going to do with all this pantieshoses?!

      https://tctechcrunch2011.files.wordpress.com/2016/07/hatch.gif?w=227&h=300

      • MynameisBlarney

        Well…pantyhose works quite well to remove fiberglass from ones skin.
        I learned that whilst working on a shrimp boat repower.
        I had to use an 8 grit (yes, 8 grit) on an 8″ grinder to prep the hull for new stringers and fiberglass work.
        I was covered head to toe for 3 months in protective gear, plus a respirator. And I’d STILL be covered in fiberglass.

        Scrubbing with pantyhose, soap and water as hot as you could stand it was the best way to relieve the itching.

        • Panika MCD

          you know that tampons are useful for stopping up bloody noses also too? and used ones are great at shutting people up…well, not so much shutting them. but it makes the talky noises stop.

        • Jamoche

          Wish I’d known that when I was 12, or that “hey, you kids want to help us insulate the attic?” is a question that should be answered “no”.

      • SweetDeeKat

        Nice. I got a Grimer today.

        • Panika MCD

          what’s a grimer? I just put “what comes out of an egg” into the google machine and this is all I got.

    • SpideySenser

      Now those were some very serious gams.

  • cheetojeebus
    • The Wanderer

      Everyone knew that they weren’t going to stop at the one attempt. Like the man said, “If at first you don’t succeed, keep on suckin’ till you do suck seed.”

    • Finnabar87

      Now they can fuck it up one more time!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      “Obamacare is a collapsing law. Obamacare is doing too much damage to families,”

      JFC neither of those things is true

  • Finnabar87

    Maybe I’m not using mine right.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • The Wanderer

      You’d figure that other countries would start taking up our slack, since we have an anti-science, anti-rational thought regime running the place now.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Yes but trust me, this is a big thing. We still have a large Christian proportion in our political field opposing these things and now that we are allowed to actually GROW embryo’s that is a huge step to end sickness as Duchene and Huntington and opening the posibility to grow organs instead of being depended on organ donation.

  • William
    • proudgrampa

      WTF?

      • William

        I have a pair of these. Got them for Christmas two years ago. They shave valuable seconds off the time it would normally require to embarrass your family.

    • arglebargle

      Me want.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      StarTrek Birkenstocks?

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Anyone can have a great pair of legs, but do they have a visage with frown,
    And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,?”
    — Ozymandias

    • Meccalopolis

      Great legs but did they make an ass of themselves?

  • Paul Dietzel

    Now, I hate to be critical here and all correctin’ you guys, but obviously Ms. Sturgeon is doin’ it all wrong. To quote Cher Horowitz (and who would know better?) here “Would you look at that body language? Legs crossed towards each other. That is an unequivocal sex invite.”

  • Finnabar87

    The photo looks like Monty Python is what done it.

  • Chadwells

    OT: because it would look like he was throwing a basketball with those little doll hands of his. Plus…he’d probably throw it worse than 50 Cent!!!

    “Trump declines first pitch invite for Nats’ Opening Day: report”

    http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/trump-throw-pitch-nationals-opening-day-report-article-1.3011344

    • Finnabar87

      His manical bone spurs clearly plan to put in an appearance.

    • The Wanderer

      Heh. I saw earlier that he was “in negotiations” to throw out the first pitch.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I bet the management and players of the Nationals all heaved a huge sigh of relief.

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      That feckless coward is never going to do anything in public. You know that he knows he’ll get booed anywhere but a MAGA rally.

    • arglebargle

      I believe the owner of the Orioles told him to fuck right off before he even could think about it.

      • The Wanderer

        Good for the owner of the Orioles.

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    Hmm, foxnews has nothing on Treasongate on it’s homepage. Only evil mayors harboring dangerous messicans.

  • btwbfdimho

    Those legs are made for walkin’.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbyAZQ45uww

    • Red Bird Ω

      Taylor swift time travel.

  • Crystalclear12

    So, their defense is they dicks to male politicians as well?

  • SweetDeeKat

    Their heads are going to asplode when they discover bewbs.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Sarah Vine’s piece, which was flagged as light-hearted

    Dammit, you humorless bints, we mansplained you in print about this.

    Robyn, I was hoping you’d get this one :)

  • Claire

    OT: If even ten percent of this article is true, I don’t know how we’re ever going to dig out from under the Trump/Russia mess. Thanks, Trumpanzees.

    https://whowhatwhy.org/2017/03/27/fbi-cant-tell-trump-russia/

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

      Geez Louise.

    • Meccalopolis

      Always wondered how you could go bankrupt running a casino unless you were using it to let your mobbed up friends rob it blind and launder a bunch of money as “losses”

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Трамп и его деньги (Trump and his Money)
      As Trump lost access to traditional lines of credit, his desperate need for financing led to sources that are murky, at best, including monies traceable back to the former Soviet Union — a circumstance that may explain Trump’s refusal to release his tax returns.

      According to two pages of Trump’s 2005 tax returns, purportedly sent anonymously to reporter David Cay Johnston, Trump appeared to make an enormous amount of money that year — earning more than $153 million, which put him into a tiny class of super-rich Americans, probably numbering in the dozens.

      Trump’s windfall seems to have developed around the same time that investors from countries of the former Soviet Union started opening the cash spigot.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Lady legs are the FoxNews business model

  • coozledad

    Reminds me of their old eighties headline, Never mind Glasnost, who won ass-most!
    (It was Reagan, by a whisker.)

    • Meccalopolis

      Daily news after we bombed Yugoslavia: clobba slobba!

  • Relativicus

    “The Prime Minister is the type of red-blooded, American cousin who’ll do anything … I mean ‘any-thing’ … for fifty bucks.”

    https://youtu.be/_Qd77uYU64g

    • Red Bird Ω

      No.

  • elviouslyqueer

    In fairness, we were the first nation to splash the picture of a bona fide asshole across all our media. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6b06c94f6cc78d3816d8825a79c9769717356f9594edc015748251379b485dab.jpg

    • The Wanderer

      I hear NASA’s going to launch a rocket to photograph the other side of him.

      • elviouslyqueer

        “That’s not a moon. It’s a space station!”

        • MynameisBlarney

          “Then why are we still moving towards it?”

      • therblig

        Ouranus?

    • coozledad

      Those necksticles must be chafing above the collar.

  • azeyote

    i see their legs are pressed together tightly in the fear that Trump is creeping around somewhere –

  • therblig

    again, the US is falling behind in STEM education

    • The Wanderer

      What you have done there, I see it.

      • Carole

        You beat me to it, Yoda.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Yes the Dutch took the fumble.

    • proudgrampa

      Nicely done!

    • elviouslyqueer
  • MynameisBlarney
  • Me not sure

    I have always been quite fond of women and all of their various appendages. I have never thought of the looks of the legs of major world leaders as front page worthy, with the exception of these two sets of gorgeous gams. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e0e899cf6061cf91d9e4a3c9d08976fc2441147c38c7e212dadcacb304cd94b3.png

  • Panika MCD

    I always wondered what those things below my waist were. now I just have to figure out what “down there” means and why it’s bad.

  • ariel_gee_398

    If only Corbyn had campaigned as strongly against Brexit as he did Legs-it.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Saaaaaaaaay, you know who else has legs?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUDcTLaWJuo

  • ONE FINE DAY BEFORE JOHNNY FOUND JESUS

    10 20 30 40 years ago this would have been an appropriate topical snark…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5a7058574b625117a38f26742dfad9970b083f330fab6f1befad26b1b0845da2.jpg

    • Panika MCD

      you monster.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Yeah, I found Jesus. He was playing rhythm uke at a beach dive. He asked me not to blow his cover…

      Tho it could have been the edibles…

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Old redneck used to say about me: That boy’s legs are so long, when he falls down he’s halfway home.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

      Last year, this old Air Force Vet in a motochair was flirting with me at he dollar store. He said back when he was A Crew Chief, they called girls like me “High Pockets”.

      XD Vets and guys in wheelchairs get privileges with me.

  • Thaumaturgist

    I too am offended by this British rag’s focus on women’s legs. I would like to point out that in America, being Great Again, we, or at least Bill O’Reilly, focus on women’s hair. http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/bill-oreilley-maxine-waters-james-brown-wig

  • Bitter Scribe

    Perhaps we all need to take a lesson here and realize that instead of coddling the feelings of women leg-havers, we ought to be coddling the feelings of people who think they are funny but in fact are not.

    Nah.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Dennis Miller?

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

        Burn! XD

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Because, growing up in Florida, one acquires an interest in cryptids:

    ‘Sightings’ of Extinct Tasmanian Tiger Prompt Search in Queensland
    http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/sightings-of-extinct-tasmanian-tiger-prompt-search-in-queensland/ar-BByWVP0?li=BBnbfcL&ocid=mailsignout

    • TJ Barke

      Dunno if it technically is a cryptid because it was a known animal. Would be cool if they were still out there.

      • BadKitty904

        Ha! Well spotted, Teej! That very thought crossed my mind as I typed up the word, but I reckoned that a.) the known animal is “officially” extinct; b.) there’s no verifiable evidence that whatever these folks are seeing is, in fact, a thylacine – it could be something known, but different, or something entirely new.

        So, I punted with “cryptid,” as I don’t have time to find another term that fits the above criteria more exactly. And “big, weird-ass animal” just sounded lame…

    • ‘Thylacine’ is the best animal name ever.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vqCCI1ZF7o

      • BadKitty904

        Pretty cool, no?

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

          I hope the Tasmanian Tigers are still around. :)

          • BadKitty904

            Like Teej says, it would be very cool if they are. Such interesting beasties…

      • gamera23

        Australian zoology so cool. Like another planet.

  • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

    I dunno. This is obvs dumb, but journalists being dumb is like water being wet. This is a photographic catcall, but to expect a journalist to have more sophistication than a beer-guzzling shithead in a rusty pickup is like expecting the GOP to have compassion for human beings.

    Honestly, I love compliments, and someone saying “you have nice legs” makes my day, while catcalls and such are just an irritant.

    • OrG

      You have nice legs.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Darn it, beat me to it! Make that two, Anna.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

          :) Thanx Guys, you’re both very sweet.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      That’s because a compliment is a kind thing one says to a person. A catcall, which will never result in real contact between 2 people, is a way for men to intimidate and harass women. It’s about power and control, not “she looks nice and I want to take her out”. It’s about reminding a woman her body belongs to the strange man on the sidewalk, not to herself.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

        Well said. It’s so gutless and weak of them.

        Honestly, the last guy to actually approach and compliment me got taken to bed – he was Gorgeous, and the sex was incredible – while the catcallers have zero chance ever.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Smart guy! Confident and bold.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            Yeah. He was a little shy & nervous, but he did approach, so I signaled interest, and he followed up. I’ll meet someone that pretty partway. :)

            He was maybe 25, I am officially a Cougar.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            You’re a lynx! ;)

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            XD

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Benny Hill’s headlines were funnier.

  • Nounverb911
    • Not quite, but Rothermere and Dacre are in charge and they are nearly as gross.

  • Tell a nice dame with a shottie that she’s got great gams, won’t you boys?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c892845140f3d70ca3002c040e550a65156b4ce07b6a7954e5933f546b49e97f.jpg

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

      Damn, that’s awesome! Royal Navy?

      • Werewolf

        Insignia looks like USN, but the cap is odd-maybe USCG?

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

          Yeah, the cap is what’s throwing me, maybe it is Coast Guard, as you say.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

          I zoomed it in – her rate & rank looks like a crow above 2 crossed keys, there are 2 buttons on this side of the cap, and a pin of some sort on the other.

          EDIT – if she’s USCG,she is a 3rd Class Petty Officer in Storekeeping, I suppose demonstrating a new boarding shotgun?

  • Panika MCD

    OT – FFS

    Dannie Goeb let Lucio Jr. talk. I’m going to die in the TX Senate gallery.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
  • SpideySenser

    “It sure is strange how men can get away with going around, having tube-like appendages extending out of their torsos without anyone ever bringing it up.”
    Dick joke? I think so!

  • Panika MCD

    OT – meme this.

    here is a photo of TX State Sen. Eddie Lucio Jr. (D THEOcrat – get out of our party! love, Democrats). please make him SHUT THE FUCK UP.

    http://www.senate.texas.gov/members/d27/img/headshot.jpg

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I need some mood music to help me deal with this crap:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbyAZQ45uww

  • Werewolf

    It’s a steady job, but he wants to be a paperback writer.

    • OrG

      Gabba Gabba Hey!

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    When newspapers start putting male politicians on covers, dicks out, asking everyone to rate and compare them, we will know the proper sense of proportion has been reached.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

      Lets do it, what are these Pols afraid of, that they wont “measure up”?

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        I want some pageants. I want men in banana hammocks twirling batons for Senate seats!

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

          Right! What have they got to hide? Show the goods, Boys!

    • Shibusa

      Thoreau wondered long ago if people would retain their relative rank if they were divested of their clothes.

  • Werewolf

    “Wonton leg-crossing?” Is this on the menu at some hipster Asian fusion restaurant in Portland or something?

    • OrG

      It will be now!

    • chortlingdingo

      And it’ll be deconstructed and served on a flat Chinese take-out box, also, too.

  • Chadwells
  • rocktonsam

    those brits and humour and whatnot

  • bookish

    http://nbcnews.to/2ousqmv

    Russian and American troops are within “hand-grenade range” of each other in parts of Syria, according to U.S. commanders, an overlap that highlights Moscow’s efforts to bolster its footprint in the Middle East.

    While the Russians and Americans have traditionally been on opposite sides of the Syrian civil war — with the Kremlin supporting President Bashar al-Assad and Washington working with rebels fighting him. But now the rivals are both backing Kurdish YPG fighters as they take on ISIS there and in neighboring Iraq.

    “Escalation is bound to happen”
    Army Lt. Gen. Steven Townsend, the commander of Combined Joint Task Force Operation Inherent Resolve, told reporters earlier this month that all the forces in Syria “have converged literally within hand-grenade range of one another.”

    • Shibusa

      Drumpf wants escalation. That way he can feel like a Big Man.

    • OrG

      Whatever you do don’t assassinate any arch dukes.

      • Yellerduck

        Not even a buttress earl!

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

      What could go wrong?

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    This is the same country that considers Boris Johnson a rising political star after all…

  • Grumpy Twat

    The Daily fucking Mail. Who would have thought it possible?
    So reliable Wikipedia refuses to cites its articles because they are not reliable enough.
    Racist and sexist and owned by the tax exile Lord Rothermere.

    I had intended to cut’n paste a couple of lines from Wikipedia, but there are so many examples of what a shameful shit show it is that it’s easier just to put a link to the whole thing. Those of a strong stomach and a melancholic disposition can pick and choose their favourites among the rich selection available.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daily_Mail

    My 80 year-old mother reads the Mail. It makes me want to weep.

    Incidentally, Sarah Vine is married to that appalling little shit, Michael Gove, Britain’s most punchable twat, when Farage is unavailable.
    Gove was Boris Johnson’s bag man during Johnson’s campaign for the Tory leadership following Cameron’s post-Brexit flight, and then stabbed him in the back seven minutes before the deadline, announcing that he intended to stand for election in his own right, having repeatedly sworn blind that he had no such ambition. Johnson withdrew his bid and we ended up with Theresa May and tomorrow’s triggering of Article 50.

    It was Michael Gove who interviewed Trump for The Times while Rupert Murdoch sat in the background off-camera. We also find our own Russian oligarch, Evgeny Lebedev, the owner of London’s Evening Standard and Independent involved in backroom shenanigans, too.
    http://www.politico.eu/article/a-very-british-betrayal-michael-gove-boris-johnson/

    Fucking Hell! I was in quite a good mood till I read this shit. And I have got to pick my wife up from the station in a while, so I can’t drink before then, and I’m on an early shift tomorrow so I can’t get tanked up afterwards.

    Fuck it, I’ll phone a taxi for her and drink gin by myself in the dark.

    Thanks, Wonkette!

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Gove is an odious little scrote. An appalling excuse for a human.

      And the Daily Heil can fuck off, also, too.

      • Teecha

        FUCK GOVE.

    • M.E. Lawrence

      Well, at least I’ll bet your mum didn’t vote for Trump.

      • Grumpy Twat

        Ha! You got me there!

  • DesertedPictures

    “It appeared in an 84-page paper packed with important news and analysis…”

    Sure: any reason in particular why this high quality news needed this photo and headline on the frontpage? It’s not exactly a story on page 20 that you can discount as filler material.

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    Dammit, Robyn! I didn’t even have to listen to the song & now “Xanadu” will be stuck in my head for the next 48 hours :(

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

      A truly classic film, surpassed in cinema only by the Newton-John/Travolta epic “Twist of Fate”.

      I used to own both on VHS.

      • MeerkatsRMammals

        Ah…”Twist of Fate”! I totally forgot about that gem ;)

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

          I thought I was the only one that hadn’t. I had *major* crushing on Olivia in my teens.

    • James Yakura

      In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
      A stately pleasure-dome decree:
      Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
      Through caverns measureless to man
      Down to a sunless sea.
      So twice five miles of fertile ground
      With walls and towers were girdled round;
      And there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,
      Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree;
      And here were forests ancient as the hills,
      Enfolding sunny spots of greenery.

      Does this help?

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        The Romantic poets hearted their opium.

    • SeeTrain65
  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Can we get a shout out for Tom Cotton’s possibly actual, literal pins, at that recent Town Hall?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8a0164365ad5d3bfcea9a5c8275e30b6fabfaa13fa117fb3943c5b9d4bd54206.jpg

  • Scrofula

    This is the Daily Fail, here; if it’s NOT offensive, it’s probably plagiarized.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e4daee8b598d7d8fdc0f3ec91ea68d0e7eb3cc87d1b47d20c7ac39747d57dd9e.jpg

  • Longstreet63

    Scotland over England, even with May’s awesome shoes.
    Uh. I mean:
    Horribly sexist. Awful. Harrumph.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

      XD Those are cute shoes, you’re a man of taste.

  • Teecha

    I HATE THE DAILY FUCKING MAIL FOR SO MANY REASONS

    Please never click on a daily fucking mail link, everrrrrrr. It’s a lie-filled, hate-spewing, women-loathing, race-hating, gay-bashing puke of the absolute worst of humanity lurking on the British isles and the sooner it dies/ explodes/ all its readers die off (and I include my mum- who I obviously love, but who not only reads this septic fish-rag, but believes it all despite being a nurse in A&E in an NHS hospital) the better life will be for everyone.

    Fuck the daily fucking mail. Fuckers.

    • Teecha

      I’m feeling quite sweary tonight

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      You didn’t call them stupid gits

      • Teecha

        No. No I didn’t. Because that’s too flattering to the evil bastards.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Still a great tirade. Nobody does insults or sarcasm like the British. You haven’t experienced it until you’ve had a Bristish official call you “Madam” in a tone that would dissolve paint.

          • Teecha

            Bristish- from Bristol 😉

            We all learn that tone in primary school.

          • M.E. Lawrence

            That tone happened to me when I was a shy young thing. Scary, ain’t it?

          • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

            Yeah. We stopped to gawk at a pub fight that had spilled out into the street. Cops were trying to “sort it out” as they say. I didn’t step aside quickly enough. An American cop probably would have pepper sprayed me.

      • Grumpy Twat

        Most of my friends are stupid gits.
        And so am I.

    • M.E. Lawrence

      I look at the free copies of the D.M. handed out at Heathrow. Their political views are almost uniformly dreadful, although the celebrity gossip is amusing in a perverse way–perhaps because I don’t know who half the celebrities are: usually bikini-clad British starlets with lots of work. But the weirdest thing about the Mail is that occasionally there’s some decent photo journalism; I remember great pictures and accurate information about the Richard III archaeology dig. (Young journalists have to get experience somehow…) So listen to Teecha, Wonkettes, and don’t visit their Web site; it only enourages the fascist gits.

      • Teecha

        And their hatred of women is most obvious on the website. They have the most appalling shite about women leaving their houses ‘flaunting their curves’ going to the beach and ‘baring all in a bikini’ and other vom-tastic phrases and they do it about children too!

        • M.E. Lawrence

          For a few brief, shining moments last year, I dreamed of Clinton and Sturgeon and Merkel and Lizzie Warren and even May as well, sitting around some posh Edinburgh restaurant about 11 p.m. after a good, long dinner and a lot of Burgundy, talking global economics and trading war stories. The D.M. would have writhed with fury and playground insults.

        • pterrydactyl

          “Oh, but they’re just encouraging ‘Pro-Aging’ and… acceptance and… diversity. Oh, and strong women and children.”

        • Incoming (“Fake News”) Ham

          Reason # 2938479827947 I can’t bear to look at it is the “SheMail” section.

    • ahughes798

      What British Newspapers would you recommend. I heard the Guardian was good. What do you think of it? Could you recommend any others?

      • Teecha

        The guardian is ok. I used to read it in the olden days when I had time to read a paper. The independent isnt too frothing.

        I don’t read a paper anymore. Once I started teaching I cut it down to just on Saturday, but after a couple of years at the chalkface I didnt want to spend my weekend reading a paper, so I stopped entirely. I don’t think my recommendation is worth much tbh!

        • ahughes798

          I’m just out to broaden my horizons on the state of the rest of the planet to get my mind out of the shit-fest here. Thank you for your suggestion and help!

      • Grumpy Twat

        The Guardian has gone downhill, lately, under a new editor. Their treatment of Corbyn has sometimes been appalling. I admit, I only read it on Saturdays, and that’s mostly for the book reviews.
        The other choices are all worse. Owned by billionaire tax exiles. A quck look at the first chart here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_newspapers_in_the_United_Kingdom
        will show you their affiliations. You will never read anything to challenge the British Establishment in the British Press.
        I would, however, recommend the website: Zelo Street, which regularly spears the lies in the press

        • ahughes798

          Thank you much!

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Is the daily mail a dick joke emporium and recipe blog? I think not! They should stick to serious reporting and let us handle the snark.

    • Tiny kaiju

      Tits on page three libels?

  • redarmyzombie

    “For goodness sake, get a life!”

    I do have a life; that’s why I don’t read the Daily Mail!

  • Teecha

    Also too, the papers witter on about may’s shoes like they’re an endearing character quirk. But she has fucking awful shoes. Her shoe choices are the footwear equivalent of an ‘I want to see the manager’ hair cut.
    They are the kind of tedious shoes which the wearer thinks are ‘out there’ and ‘exciting’ but are just really boring shapes and patterns which were edgy in the 80s.

    I love shoes. And I think everyone should have shoe joy every day, even the demonstrably unpleasant and hateful leader of the Tories. But the rest of us don’t have to go along with the lie that her shoes are interesting. Or make her more interesting.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      They are not flattering to her feet or ankles, either. She could be fashion forward and pick another style. Us more mature ladies can have problems with ankle swelling. I’d pick a high heeled boot, myself.

  • Teecha
  • h4rr4r

    It’s the daily fail, not like it was a real newspaper or something.

  • Zyxomma

    Any newspaper supporting Brexit isn’t worth reading. Daily Fail, indeed.

  • Incoming (“Fake News”) Ham

    I can’t make myself read The Fail. Did they use the word “pins” as a replacement for the word “legs?”

    • Lambsendbeds

      Yup. It’s (I believe) old-timey slang for legs. Don’t ask me why – the only thing I can think of that very old 60s era Barbie dolls had pins sticking out of the bottoms of their feet so that you could display them on a stand that came along with the doll.

      • ahughes798

        They also used the word “gams” to describe women’s legs back in the ’20’s and 30’s.

      • sw19bunnies

        (I believe) it’s cockney rhyming slang – although how, I’m not sure.
        Anyway, it’s the kind of “hip” “lingo” that the Daily Nazi would try to use to sound hip and with it. See also, the Sun.

      • bobbert

        It’s older than the 60s. I always assumed it referenced bowling pins, but I don’t know.

      • Incoming (“Fake News”) Ham

        It’s derived from Cockney rhyming slang: pin-pegs = legs. Nice pins, love! A Ph.D? Fancy that AND you’ve got a nice pair of Bristols.

  • Stulexington

    When asked her opinion on the Mail’s cover, May stated, “You would not expect me to comment on what newspapers should or should not put on their front pages.” Don’t much care for her, but credit where due, that was a classy response.

    • HogeyeGrex

      A wee bit different than, say, a vitriolic 3am twitter screed about how the papers sales aren’t up to snuff so any information must be, dare I say it, FAKE NEWS.

      sigh.

  • Manhattan123

    It’s absolutely true because I read it in The Daily Mail

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eBT6OSr1TI

  • SeeTrain65

    “I’ve always been a Daily Mail reader. I prefer it to a real newspaper.” – Hugh Laurie

  • gingerwentworth

    Only the light-hearted leg piece made it that much duller. And if these people also staunchly supported May for the job, that just makes it worse.
    Like a guy at work who seems great and sincere, but still grabs you and squishes you really hard behind the door. It’s the after- 5 o’clock surprise.

  • H0mer0

    “we ought to be coddling the feelings of people who think they are funny but in fact are not.”
    [sob] oh Robyn, you are so cruel. You have gazed into my soul and have offered me ridicule instead of succor.[sniff]

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