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By now, we’re all familiar with Red Pill MRAs, MGTOW, and simple PUAs. They seem to be simply variations on a theme, and one of the commonalities seems to be that they all really, really want wimminz to make them sammiches. This common thread caught my attention the other day, and upon it I began to ponder.

We normally assume that this is simply a manifestation of their rather strident claims of dominance over women, and this is, indeed, what they claim as their message. But what if we dig a bit deeper? What else could be motivating this demand that wimminz provide the sammiches they so desperately crave?

Let’s examine the last part of the preceding sentence first. They, rather obviously, want sammiches. Not just “want,” though: they seem to have a kind of primal need for them. Clearly, they know what a sammich is. Just as clearly, they recognize what constitutes a good sammich – otherwise two pieces of Wonderbread and a slice of Kraft Singles, with maybe some Miracle Whip, would satisfy them.

But, no. Despite having an understanding of what they want, they need someone else to provide it. Why? I’m glad you asked, because Yr Wonkette has a theory.

They can’t cook.

Yeah, it’s that simple. They can’t cook, and they can’t ask someone to teach them, because they’re afraid of looking weak. Actually, that explains everything about them. They’re so afraid of looking weak, they’ve become a cartoon version of a strong person.

Maybe someone should explain that cartoons exist to be laughed at.

But, enough about them – let’s make some sammiches!

Ham Salad for Sandwiches

Up close and personal.
Up close and personal.

WHAT YOU NEED!

Ingredientses
Ingredientses

  • 1 cup finely diced Ham
  • 1 hard-boiled Egg, diced
  • 1 Tbls finely diced Onion
  • 2 Tbls finely diced Green Pepper
  • 2 Tbls finely diced Celery
  • 1/4 Cup Mayonnaise
  • 2 Tsp brown Mustard
  • 1 Tsp Worcestershire sauce
  • 1 Tsp Parsley
  • Salt & Pepper, to taste

Tuna Salad for Sandwiches

WHAT YOU NEED!

Other ingredientses!
Other ingredientses!

  • 2, 7 oz cans Solid White Albacore Tuna in water, drained.
  • 2-3 Tbls Onion, finely diced.
  • 2-3 Tbls Celery, finely diced
  • 2-3 Tbls Lemon Juice
  • 1/3 Cup Mayonnaise
  • 3 Tbls Sweet Pickle Relish
  • ~ 1 Tsp Seasoning Salt
  • 1/4 Tsp Mustard powder
  • 3 -4 drops Tabasco sauce
Not very photogenic, but really tasty!
Not very photogenic, but really tasty!

WHAT TO DO WITH WHAT YOU NEED!

Seriously? OK, fine!

For each recipe:

  • Put the meat in an appropriately sized bowl. For the Ham, also too add the egg.
  • Add the chopped veggies and mix into the meat.
  • Add mayonnaise and any “wet” ingredientses. Relish isn’t dry is it? No. So add it as well.
  • Mix thoroughly with a fork.
  • Add dry ingredientses/spices.
  • Mix thoroughly, using the same fork.
  • Put into an airtight container and refrigerate 4 – 24 hours.

Serve on sliced bread, with tomatoes & lettuce. Or with crackers and maybe some cheese. Or, if you want to be 50 years out of date, in a hollowed out tomato.

Once you have learned the basics of sammich-making, you will be free to delete all your bookmarks for Return Of Kings and related sites. Congratulations!

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  • msanthropesmr

    So, you just open the can of tuna, and add Mayo? Right?

  • DainBramage

    I use plain Greek yogurt instead of mayo for stuff like this.

    • cmd resistor

      Sometimes i mix them.

      • puredog

        Yup. That’s the ticket. You get the mayo je ne sais quoi, but don’t overload the arteries needlessly.

  • Marion in Savannah

    Sorry, but pickle relish in tuna salad is an abomination.

    • cmd resistor

      Dill pickles.

      • Marion in Savannah

        No pickles in tuna salad. EVER!

        • Lascauxcaveman

          My wife and I have a disagreement on the sweet relish in tuna salad. I say little or none is best, and she prefers relish salad sammitches with just a soupçon of tuna.

      • Sardonicuss

        Yep. Dill..which I dice up a little. Tomato chunks and….gasp…Miracle Whip!
        Buttered toasted wheat or rye…with a little pepper.
        That outta rile up the food snobs around this joint!

        • McMema6

          Time to pull out my Dear Old Departed Dad’s recipe for a fried baloney (I sneer at your fancy bologna spelling, you lefty-elitists!) sandwich. It’s true hillbilly heaven. Hillbilly hog heaven would be his fried chttlins sammich. Any takers?

          • McMema6

            And yes, the macho men in our family made the sammiches. No wonder I’m such a feminazi.

    • Jonny On Maui

      9 times out of 10 tuna salad is an abomination…

      • Celtic_Gnome

        The one that dos me in is tuna casserole. Every single Friday of my childhood when the Catholic Church was still pretty much fanatic about its dietary laws.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Blasphemer!

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      Don’t ‘yuck’ my ‘yum’, and I won’t ‘yum’ your ‘yuck’. Eat what you want.

      • willi0000000

        H: “but you haven’t even tried it”
        M: “don’t have to”
        H: “but you never had it the way i make it”
        M: “yes, i have”
        .
        .

        [ some people won’t believe that you’ve tried “it” forty-seven different ways . . . and what you don’t like is the main ingredient, not the prep or condiments ]

  • memzilla Ω

    Tell the MGTOWs and PUAs that they can use the same recipe to make deviled ham — just add one cup of shredded Clinton emails.

  • Jonny On Maui

    Not high on the difficulty scale, most of us knuckle draggers should be able to figure this out…

    • Vecchioivan

      Brainiac.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      The fuq?!?….

    • McMema6

      Intellectual snob!

  • Pumpernickel rolls sliced in two, warmed under broiler cut side up, then one or two (or three!) slices of sharp cheddar on top, back under broiler until cheese is bubbling, eat 15 to 20, have nap…

    • DerrickWildcat

      This is good recipe.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Chili, on the other hand….

    • Shanzgood

      HAHAHAHA!!

  • Ryan Denniston

    Sweet relish and not dill? Is that why I get no action?

    • Shawn Renee Ernoehazy

      I am with you, dill relish only. Only dill pickles…I really despise sweet pickles.

  • cmd resistor

    Recently i added lime juice and a little rind to tuna and it was good.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      No! No! No! The lime juice must come directly from the slice, and it is placed gently, rind and all, in the glass of ice and Mount Gay directly. Now, put the tuna on a small plate and leave it there, on the floor, where Pinky can find it..

      • redblack

        mount gay black barrel. yum.

        i’ll be right back.

  • YourNameHere

    I love you dude.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Awwwww. *blushes*

  • msanthropesmr

    MSAnthrope says that tuna salad is depressing. I am not allowed to eat it when she is in the house.

    • Shanzgood

      I love it!

      • msanthropesmr

        Msanthrope has some rules. That is one of them.
        Another rule, which I find confusing, is “Ms. Anthrope hates italian food. Exept when she likes it”

        • Shanzgood

          She sounds picky like my daughter.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Ms. Gnome loves tuna salad. Hates tomatoes, however, in all manifestations.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Is there a reason we’re abandoning the blue box of Kraft dinner?

    • msanthropesmr

      We can’t find butter or milk. We ate it anyway, by dipping the noodles directly in the chee powder. It was OK.

      • Ryan Denniston

        It requires milk? Huh! Man all these years, I just doubled the butter.

      • You grew up in a pot-smoker’s home too?

        • msanthropesmr

          No – I was a dumb college student.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            There’s a difference?…

    • TA

      I was at my mom’s recently and lookin’ to fix myself some Kraft dinner. What did I find? Blue boxes of MACARONI looted of their orange cheez powder packets! I whirled on my mom, held up the boxes, and yelled “LIES!” She said it’s good on popcorn.

      • Ryan Denniston

        I’m totally going to try that.

      • For a while there, Kraft was selling the powder separately for just such a purpose. Never tried it, myself, but I noticed the product on the shelf.

      • bupkus23

        I used to be able to find Kraft cheddar cheese powder in one of those cardboard canisters, like the really bad parmesan cheese shakers. Sure tasted like the same thing. Haven’t found any ( alright, I haven’t looked for any ) since I moved…

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I worked in a building owned by Borden and housing many of their offices, including a testing lab. When they did testing, word spread through the building.

        I did one test where they gave me something microwave mac and cheese like in its packaging with no instructions and noted how I opened everything, put it together, and zapped it.

        They provided a variety of cake slices as payment to their test subjects.

      • HereKitty

        The socialists at King Arthur Flour sell Vermont cheese powder in 8-ounce jars.

  • cmd resistor

    Speaking of white bread just watched an underwhelming pence speech in WV. He said obamacare was terrible.

    • The Wanderer

      Pence is so damned white I think he’d bleed white if he cut himself shaving.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Pence is so white, polar bears have trouble finding him in a snowstorm.

    • Vecchioivan

      I keep seeing this guy as Warren Harding’s idiot great grandson.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Supposedly, Harding was quite charming in person.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I’m pretty sure his Bible stops at the end of the Old Testament, King James of course….

  • DerrickWildcat

    Do you think this is enough to get you through to the next round?

  • The Wanderer

    Chicken salad for sammiches:
    1. Cooked chicken (whatever way your little heart desires), cut up or shredded into small chunks
    2. Genuine mayonnaise
    3. Sweet pickle relish
    4. Seedless red grapes, halved (about 1/2 of the quantity of chicken)
    5. Salt and pepper to taste
    Mix it all up, let sit covered in the fridge for an hour or so.
    Spread on your choice of bread (white, wheat, rye, bagel, naan, pita, matzoh, whatever)
    Devour.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Grandma Toomush (95, sturdy as ever), keeps buying these bulk cases of chopped chicken in cans, which she keeps giving away to all of us in unusable amounts (like two cases a visit). I HAVE NEVER SEEN HER EAT CHOPPED CHICKEN, EVER!….

      • Sardonicuss

        Revenge is best served canned.

        • The Wanderer

          Like canned clams?

          • Sardonicuss

            Ha! Tricked you into saying it….

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          So you do know her?…

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I like Grandma Toomush. That seems like a good way to amuse herself.

      • TA

        OK, they sell this at Costco and I wound up with a LOT of it. Not my fault. Husband’s fault. I will say that it’s pretty useful in recipes as long as you rinse all the friggin’ salt off it. I have used it to make chicken salad (obviously), as well as various soups and stews involving chicken. Maybe grandma just really likes chicken tacos.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Fish tacos! She’s wild about fish tacos!…

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I am now officially in love with her. You better cherish having this woman in your life.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            I have to….

      • Jonny On Maui

        I ate chopped ‘meat’ from cans. C rations circa Korean War.

        Never again…

    • cmd resistor

      Pecans also too. I love the grapes

      • The Wanderer

        I’ve added chopped walnuts. I’ll have to toss pecans in.

        • cmd resistor

          I have used those too. It depends what is on hand

        • theCryptofishist

          Walnuts can be toasted in the microwave!

          • puredog

            Walnuts can be burned to black charred nuggets in the toaster oven! Works well for pine nuts and almonds too. There’s like nanoseconds between “perfect” and “charred black nuggets.”

      • Sardonicuss

        That sammich, with the pecans and grapes is actually served on the deli menu at……Arbys!!
        Duh..duh…duh!

    • ManchuCandidate

      Mix it all up, let sit covered in the fridge for an hour or so.

      If constantly pestered by MRAs then tell them to keep chicken salad outside of the fridge for four hours and then eat it.

      Bon Apetite!

      • The Wanderer

        No, I’d just serve them Mama Forrester’s Turkey Surprise from MST3K:
        1. Cook turkey for 1 hour at 250 degrees.
        2. Rub with a live turtle.
        3. Serve to people you despise.

      • Shanzgood

        I like to put come curry in mine.

      • TA

        It’ll be fine, just FINE, in the trunk of the car while you just make this one stop. (How church ladies murder people.)

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Oooh, I like the grapes addition, I’ll try that after Payday. :)

      • The Wanderer

        It adds an interesting set of textures and taste to it. Plus the color.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          They sound like the perfect contrast, sweet, slightly-acidic, and like you said, the texture. Awesome. :)

  • msanthropesmr

    Next recipe for MRAs
    Hot Pocket Alaska.

    That’s when you heat the hot pocket in the oven because you’re afraid of the microwave spying on you but only the outside gets hot but the inside stays frozen.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Also too, altitude causes some cooking issues, depending on where in Alaska you are and how high you happen to be when you need said Hot Pocket.

      • willi0000000

        i’d have to be pretty high before wanting a hot pocket.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Where’s the egg-salad love?

    • msanthropesmr

      Nobody wants to sit next to you after you’ve had egg salad.

      You dawg, I hear you like eggs so I put some eggs in your eggs and made egg salad.

      • The Wanderer

        I will add a little chopped onion or shallot into my egg salad, and a wee sprinkle of paprika. It adds heft and striking power to the noxious gases that result.

    • The Wanderer

      An egg salad so good you could PLOTZ!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Xv_gml68sY

    • Nounverb911

      Egg salad? Needs more Mitt Romney jokes!

  • The Librarian

    I’m not really a sweet pickle relish fan, but in tuna it’s a must. Also, too chipotle Tabasco gives it a bit of a smoky flavor…..hmmmm.*

    * Other variations can include fresh dill and red onion.

  • calliecallie

    I love tuna fish sandwiches, but seriously I was hoping for a muffaletta recipe or something more exotic like that.

    • Shanzgood

      These are MRA recipes, remember?

  • msanthropesmr

    MRA recipe:
    Important to be convenient for one hand, as the other one is occupied, if you catch my drift.

    • BeachBum

      Uh, I think I will pass on catching any drift today. I’m trying to get over a cold.

      • Shibusa

        Oh the hamanity!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Wait! What? You mean, while they’re making sammiches, they’re “making sammiches”?

  • SeekingResistanceBarbie

    When I’m lazy, I make tuna salad with mayo and chunky Pace picante sauce (medium, drained). When I’m not lazy, my recipe is similar to Pinkham’s, but with a hard-boiled egg, chopped.

    • msanthropesmr

      When I’m lazy, I don’t even use a bowl and simply mix mayo and tuna in teh can. I’m never not lazy.

      • SeekingResistanceBarbie

        I’ve actually done that when hiking, with little packets of mayo and relish. But one must remember the can opener…..

      • BeachBum

        So your poor cat never gets to lick the bowl. Sad. Weak.

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          My cats get a bit of the tuna. They don’t need to lick the bowl.

  • msanthropesmr

    MRA Recipe 3:

    Go to the local sandwich place.
    Buy sandwiches on the regular
    Girl behind counter is nice to you
    Convince yourself that she is trying to steal your money and your life essence
    Say to her “You’re not getting my money, bitch”
    Get banned from sandwich shop and find other sandwich shop, preferably one that allows you to order from a screen with minimal human interaction.

  • Nounverb911

    Oh, Mazel Tov on South Carolina getting into the ‘Round of Eight’. (It might take me a while to wish them luck, but I’ll get there sooner or later) Okay, good luck against Florida tomorrow!

    • The Wanderer

      Molotov!

    • Shibusa

      Obligatory.

      • Nounverb911

        Careful Pinks might banhammer you.

  • msanthropesmr

    MRA recipe 4
    “MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM I want some cheezy poofs!”

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    I substituted the entire recipe for my finger between two slices of artisan sourdough bread, which I then pointed at MRAs while I laughed and laughed!

  • Mary Sandoras

    Since my husband retired, he has taken over the kitchen domain. Now that I have gotten lazy, when I’m hungry I scavenge for left overs, if none are available I’ll check for frozen diners. Even making sammiches seems tedious now.

    • BeachBum

      I think I will change my pickup line to ” I make really good omelets.” The old ones weren’t working anyway.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Ms. Gnome recently had a mild heart attack, so we’ve got to make those damned lifestyle changes and eat better and shit. She can’t stand for long periods because of vertigo, so I got the kitchen duty. I do a lot of slow cooker or stir-fry recipes. You can make vast quantities and have multiple meals available quickly and easily.

  • Doug Langley

    Sounds a lot like the meat salad sandwiches mommy fixed us as kids. Except our recipe was more like this:

    * canned meat
    * Miracle Whip
    * Miracle Whip
    * Miracle Whip
    * some relish, if we could afford it
    * Miracle Whip

    • msanthropesmr

      Miracle whip is worse than canned clams.

      • Doug Langley

        What? You didn’t eat your sammiches with a spoon?

  • Anna Elizabeth

    AWE-sum, Pink!

    For Anna’s Tuna Salad, I always put in a tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce, and likewise Dijon mustard. Trust me, it’s yummy. :D

  • msanthropesmr

    MRA recipe 5
    Cold Chef Boyardee Ravioli eaten out of can over sink.

    • Vecchioivan

      No, that’s a recipe for suicide.

    • BeachBum

      Sink, sminnk ! In front of the teevee !

    • Ryan Denniston

      Is the sink important?

      • BeachBum

        Not if your (mostly) sober.

      • Doug Langley

        Depends how hungry you are.

      • BeachBum

        Not for anything canned. Only cooked chickens must be eaten over a sink. Allows for cool Neanderthal impressions.

        • Marion in Savannah

          And tomato sammiches made with farmer’s market beefsteak ‘maters. A mere bib isn’t going to catch the drips.

    • Shanzgood

      My kids do that so I stopped buying it.

    • eggsacklywright

      I wonder what the ‘ol chef uses for tomatoes. Certainly not real tomatoes. Gawdawful crap.

    • msanthrope

      Honey, don’t give away ALL of your secrets!

  • ManchuCandidate

    Give an MRA a sandwich and that will feed him for a hour-ish. Teach an MRA how to make a sandwich and that will feed him for a week till the food runs out or goes bad because mommy still needs to teach that sad shithead how to shop for food.

  • msanthropesmr

    MRA Recipe six
    Absolutely no vienna sausages.

    • bupkus23

      Too reminiscent of what they see everyday between their legs

      • Longstreet63

        Oh, they can’t see them.

  • Anna Elizabeth
  • msanthropesmr

    MRA recipe seven
    Potted meat product on saltines

    • Ryan Denniston

      Tuna on saltines is awesome FWIW, IMHO.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Mmmmm…lips and peckers!

      • msanthropesmr

        Evrything but the oink – and even that too!

        • colonelangus007

          Sardines IN OIL on a cracker

          • The Witch of Endor

            I’ll eat those straight out of the tin with a little salt. But eating them on crackers really is best.

          • colonelangus007

            The mustard sardines with added 🔥 sauce are also good. I always cut my finger on the tin trying to get that last morsal from the corner of doom.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      I’m not gonna lie, I’ve gotten in the habit of buying pâté and other various forms of potted meat from out local butcher. The French, bless ’em, love that stuff.

      • The Witch of Endor

        Real pâté is anathema to MRAs, et al. It’s furrin and so, ain’t manly.

    • TA

      Potted ham as an ingredient is awesome. I throw a can in the bean stew and it adds fat, body, salt and porkiness all for about $0.80 a can.

    • The Witch of Endor

      I admit to a love of Chicken Spread with mayo & lettuce on toasted white bread.

      • eggsacklywright

        There used to be a lunch counter in the basement of the Frederick and Nelson department store in Seattle. My mom took me there when I was a little prat. Tuna on dark with lettuce and a fresh-made chocolate ice cream soda. Heaven.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    An egg is a marvelous thing………….what do you do with it?…..

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Because I want to be 60 years out-of-date, I demand mine be served in aspic and festooned with various whimsical accompaniments (radish flowers, fish heads, whatever).

    • The Wanderer
      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        This brings me back to listening to Dr. Demento on Sunday nights, under the covers, on my AM radio, instead of sleeping as my parents demanded.

        • The Witch of Endor

          Did you have the one earpiece headphone?

          • Martini Ambassador 🍸

            Yes!

          • The Witch of Endor

            I did the same thing!! I didn’t have access to Dr. Demento, but I was unreasonably hooked on CBS Radio Mystery Theater, hosted by E. G. Marshall. What I most vividly remember was at the end of each episode, E. G. would come on and say “Weeeeelllllll”. It was creepy and bloody hysterical.

          • Hutch

            There are now podcasts with CBS Radio Mystery Theater episodes. I listen to them as I’m falling asleep. Very well written!

        • eggsacklywright

          I had a maroon Zenith.

    • colonelangus007

      Cannot forget the Pihtije!!!!!!!!!!!

    • The Witch of Endor

      And I’ve officially lost my appetite. FOREVER!!!!!!

    • Longstreet63

      No dormice?
      Savage!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Aspic puts you about a century out of date. For only 60 years, it’s going to have to be lime jello.

      • Jonny On Maui

        With shaved carrot…

        • willi0000000

          . . . and on special occasions . . . tiny marshmallows!

  • colonelangus007

    Having a pet or small child around while fixing the sambitches is very apropos.
    Not for chopping or for mixing, but for catching scraps that fall on the floor.

    • Mary Sandoras

      Our dogs are the clean crew here for when my husband is cooking.

      • colonelangus007

        Eggcellent

    • Doug Langley

      You may find this of interest:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoONY-ip7hQ

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        The myth busters doing the 5 second rule caused me to lose all respect for the myth busters. The 5-second rule is an invention of mothers to get toddlers to eat all the food they keep throwing on the ground, and drunk people who really want that cake they just dropped. No one BUT that toddler actually thinks it’s a thing. MB, please bust ACTUAL myths.

        • The Wanderer

          Like the “Myth of Donald Trump’s Dealmaking Skills?”

      • Hutch

        From just a week ago on NPR: “Go Ahead, Eat It. Scientist Affirms 5-Second Rule.” Yay!

        “A germ expert tells the British Press Association if you drop food and pick it up quickly, bacteria on the floor are not likely to have attached. If it’s not obviously covered with dirt, you can probably eat it, and according to a survey, most people have.”

        http://www.npr.org/2017/03/15/520223178/go-ahead-eat-it-scientist-affirms-5-second-rule

        • puredog

          Liebrul lies!

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Too many of the women (almost all) I know who frequently cook for their husbands do it because they think their husbands will burn the house down if they don’t. (Women who have husbands who can cook generally like to split the work somehow.) You’re telling me men are taking advantage of this belief?

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Oh, they have been forever. It’s called “woman’s work”, which is anything you don’t get paid to do.

    • The Wanderer

      All of the women I’ve dated have been amazed by the fact that I can cook. It’s a family tradition – all of the men learn how to cook, because there’s no telling how long the women will put up with us.

      • Jonny On Maui

        “If you want to eat well you better learn how to cook.” – My father.

        • The Wanderer

          Wiser words are seldom spoken.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Your father was correct. And knowing how to cook is a gift that keeps on giving.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            IMHO – knowing how to prepare safe, edible food is a basic adult skill that all should learn.

            Making tasty, beautifully presented food is an art, but if you can count and tie your shoes, you can learn to cook good food.

          • Shanzgood

            My mom always said “If you can read, you can cook.”

            Apparently not in my case.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Well, there are some things that are learned either from a teacher or by trial and error.

          • Shanzgood

            I know. I understand the science of it better than the art. I’m just not creative in that way. If I don’t have a recipe, I’m mostly lost.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Nothing wrong with that. Nothing. But you have a basic repertoire of recipes and can keep your family nourished. That’s a life skill. And a good one.

          • Shanzgood

            My daughter hates almost everything I cook. Chicken bacon ranch pasta in the slow cooker I made the other day? She took two bites. “I don’t really like bacon except for breakfast.” It was AWESOME, though.

            Taco soup? Rejected.
            Spaghetti? Won’t touch it.
            Meatloaf? Forget it.
            Chili? Nope.
            Chicken tikka masala? Too spicy (but it wasn’t).
            Lasagne? Gross!

            She wants more of the seared salmon, flaked and turned into a salmon salad (like recipe above) served on toasted hoagies with roasted herbed potato discs on the side, though. Or caramelized onions and seared seasoned beef strips with a feta cheese/garlic/lemon juice sauce served with smashed purple potatoes and sautéed asparagus. Because that’s JUST the kind of complicated (for me) stuff I want to get into when I get home from work.

            It was sort of ok when I got these things delivered from Blue Apron but that’s expensive. Or maybe not so much if it means less wasted food and giving up and getting her McDonald’s or a mac ‘n’ cheese microwave dinner instead. Again.

            It’s so demoralizing.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            It sounds like you are doing your damndest. And my mom (who I love very much) fed us things like hot-dog casserole. Just a stupid thought, but have you considered having her fix dinner? With you, of course. But have her pick the ingredients, and then make the meal. Perhaps after she’s done that a few times she’ll be a bit less of a pita.

          • Shanzgood

            I’ve thought about it, yes…maybe I should pull the trigger in it. My problem is that I have a lot of mom-guilt, for lots of reasons, so I let her…play me.

            Ugh. All the times I refused to let my XH turn food into a punishment issue (“you misbehaved so you don’t get any breakfast”) and now my daughter is punishing ME with food issues!

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Seriously, it’s none of my business, but I truly bonded with my Granny while cooking. And it’s a life skill, cooking. I’m not saying fancy-pants meals, but basic satisfying food. You would be doing her a favor, also too. You’ve said that you are not comfortable cooking because you didn’t learn how to when you were young. Perhaps you could think of this as a gift to her? I grew up cooking, because my lovely mother hates it and my lovely Granny enjoyed it. But it is something that I have, and you can give this to your picky daughter and your other children too.

          • Shanzgood

            My son is perfectly happy with anything I fix but my daughter…not so much. I think I cook ok stuff but she’s just being a passive-aggressive asshole. Yay, therapy!

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Yeah, if she’s old enough to care that much about food, she’s old enough to be cooking. And, as WomanInThe Presistence says below, it can be a great bonding experience.

          • divegrl

            So, if you know she plays you, why do you let her?

        • Shanzgood

          I wish I had learned how a long time ago. I’d be better at it by now and have more confidence.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I didn’t learn until later myself. It took a while to gain confidence. The look I got from the woman I was dating the first time I cooked for her was quite a reward, though. :)

        • Marion in Savannah

          Mr. MinS learned to cook in self-defense. His mother was probably the worst cook I’ve ever run across.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Your Mr. and I have something in common.

          • Jonny On Maui

            My mom would burn canned peas. Repeatedly.

          • puredog

            When American Big Food introduced side dishes in seal-a-meals that could be dumped into boiling water until hot, then sliced open and served, my mother thought she had died and gone to heaven.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Your father was speaking from experience, then.

          • SeekingResistanceBarbie

            That’s what I say about my learning to cook. My mother wasn’t the worst, but the food she prepared was uninspired and plain.

          • eggsacklywright

            My mom made some things quite well, but unfortunately cooked carrots and broccoli into inedible mush.

        • eggsacklywright

          Cooking is fun. And you get a prize when you’re done.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        There’s a company that sells subscription meal kits tailored to the American Diabetic Association’s standards and once we live together, Future Mr. Cats will be preparing those meals for me 2-3 times a week until he can do something other than bake pastries.

        • magyar of infinite power

          Why would anyone need to know how to make anything but pastries?

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Because I’m diabetic. XD

      • “M”

        This sounds marketable.

      • Shanzgood

        It’s silly for them to be amazed that you can cook. That’s like you being amazed that they can hold a job or drive a car.

        • BeachBum

          I totally agree. But many are amazed. I blame tv/Hollywood for showing many men as dummies that can barely bring home a paycheck.

          • Shanzgood

            Eh, there’s a lot of cultural baggage that goes into that.

          • BeachBum

            Yep. Fore shore.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        That makes you a catch. And not all women know how to cook. My mother, who I adore, is a not-cooking kind of person. I was cooking family suppers from the age of 8, because I enjoy it. Her? Not so much.

        • Shanzgood

          Baconz loves to cook! How lucky am I?!

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Very! Things are good then? Is he home?

          • Shanzgood

            Nope. Today marks two months exactly since he got locked up for missing a family court appointed “class” back in November.

            The place they put him now is supposed to “help” him find a different job but he’s only allowed computer access 2hrs a day M-Th and technically he’s only *supposed* to be allowed 2hrs on Wednesdays and that’s IT.

            Everything job-search related he does has to go through the program so no place he applies does NOT know he’s in a halfway house and of course automatically assumes he’s some sort of criminal. Like, for instance, the ex correctional officer who’s in there with him for being convicted of sexually abusing inmates. (Yeah, that guy is real popular there.)

            So he can apply for any number of minimum wage jobs, but they all assume he’s going to quit ASAP (as the staff have ADVISED him to do) because he’s wildly overqualified so they’re not interested in hiring him. Professional jobs in his field, even if they like his resume? Tbe employers won’t even contact him because…halfway house criminal. Is that someone you’d hire?

            He has another court hearing in exactly one month from today. The judge originally sentenced him to 6 months OR until he finds a new job. That means, considering the obstacles inherent in being stuck in the halfway house, he could be there until JULY. And there’s no guarantee that in July the judge won’t hand down the same sentence again. For “contempt of court” for missing that one appointment four months ago.

            So, no. Not good and I don’t know what to do. His regular attorney doesn’t return his calls, I can’t get a response from any local family law attorneys, his mom is beside herself, baconz is wildly depressed and desperately missing his kids (who have no idea why they haven’t been able to see their dad for the past 2 months), and there’s no end in sight. I’m trying to keep his spirits up but…he is feeling hopeless.

          • David Chaillou

            Seen from France this is all batshit crazy but, does he want more people writing him ? My address joff2p@gmail.com and i’m a Roman Catholic so we can at least pass some time comparing theologies.

          • Shanzgood

            You can email me at my @yahoo.com username (not the Shanzgood one) and I will send you his info for snail mail. He might very well like some Catholic um…wherever you guys do. I’m an atheist so I don’t know these things but I appreciate the comfort of the shared ritual. A funny post card will always pick him up.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            OMG, I just saw this. Fucking hell, I’m so sorry. I wish I had magical powers to make this all better, but I don’t. You have my email, please let me know what I can do. I know you have life and things, but I want you to know that this anonymous Internet person cares about you both.

          • Shanzgood

            Thank you. I don’t know what to do myself for him never mind ask what anyone else can do. I appreciate the sentiment, though.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            I’m assuming the Wonketarriat came through, and he’s been getting mail?

          • Shanzgood

            He is! Including smoked meats catalogs!

        • DrBigHead

          I have always done the cooking in our household largely because I enjoy it. The problem is that over the years I have become quite possessive of the kitchen. My wife loves to bake, however, and whenever she does I have to leave the house to keep from hovering and offering unneeded advice. You kinda figure this out after 25 years or so.

        • NastyBossetti

          My mother is basically not allowed in the kitchen. When I was very young, we lived with her mother, who did all the cooking. And after she died, my dad did the cooking. All of my brothers love to cook. Imagine my surprise when I started dating MrBossetti, who was basically not allowed in the kitchen his whole life. To his credit, he has become an awesome griller and smoker, and he does cook when it’s not grilling season, although he’s not as confident as he could be if his family had just shown him how to do a few things when he lived at home, as if he weren’t a goddamned prince whose meals would always be prepared for him by someone else.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            It sounds like he’s trying to learn, which is good. Encourage that.

      • BeachBum

        Years ago my future son-in-law used to come over to my house and would cook for all of us. My daughter and I would do the cleaning.
        19 years later he still cooks way more than her, and the kids do the cleaning.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Your daughter is one smart woman.

      • SeekingResistanceBarbie

        I briefly dated a guy in his 40s who bragged about being able to cook. What he actually served up was just a shade above open can and heat, but he expected lavish praise. Yeah, no.

  • Longstreet63

    Your tuna sammich is overly complex.
    Also, your target audience will want single portions.

    • Shanzgood

      For a lot of them that probably IS a single portion.

      • Longstreet63

        It is hard to stop, of course.
        It’s also hard to fit all that in a cereal bowl.
        Mine makes about 5 sammiches per can.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • Huh. I always assumed Mr. and Mrs. Solo gave it to him.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        and to give equal time to the Trekkies- Jean-Luc as KaC

        http://i.imgur.com/30msI8j.jpg
        (not really, but the resemblance is uncanny)

        • Sedagive ’em Hell

          Nope. Nope. Nope.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Napoleon and the Mrs.?

    • Tiny kaiju

      The Ron Burgandy crossover poster is amazing.

  • Treg Brown

    3 Tbls Sweet Pickle Relish

    You get all the upfists for using sweet pickle relish.
    Sounds and looks delicious.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Oh, when I make tuna or chicken salads, or any sauce or condiment, I use my whisk. I know it seems like it would turn tuna salad into baby food, but no, my silicone whisk mixes the ingredients smoothly and well, but you still get the good texture.

    I also too will add shredded cheese to my tuna salad.

  • Ryan Denniston

    But, okay, so I’ve opened the can of tuna. Is there any reason to stop there and add needless steps?

    • magyar of infinite power

      Pepper is as far as I go most times

      • CripesAmighty

        If feeling particularly industrious, I’ll put it on bread.

        • magyar of infinite power

          Well, aren’t you fancy

          • CripesAmighty

            You only live once.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Oh, cool. A new tuna salad recipe.

    Do you have an egg salad lying around?

    • CripesAmighty

      Ultra Basic Egg Salad:
      Ingredients:
      6 hard boiled eggs
      2 tbsp. mayo
      2 tsp. Grey Poupon Dijon mustard
      1/2 tsp. Salt
      1/2 tsp black pepper

      Boil eggs,, chop roughly,
      Mush it all together with the rest of the above stuff
      (Adjust ingredients to taste–smoother texture: more mayo; more kick: more mustard, etc.)

      Microwave for 15-30 sec.

      Serve warm (really!) on lightly toasted bread (I like potato bread, –tasty on seeded rye, too.)

  • SeekingResistanceBarbie

    Spread tuna salad on each half of a sandwich thin. Add tomato slice and top with slice of pepper jack cheese. Toast in toaster oven until cheese melts. Yum.

  • eggsacklywright

    My tuna sammiches include bleu cheese, fresh garlic, mayo, and scalliions. So.

    • Ryan Denniston

      FTW! I will try this later this week.

    • Mary Sandoras

      My husband would like that, he loves bleu cheese.

      • magyar of infinite power

        Because he obviously has great taste. On both counts.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      That’s intriguing. I think I need to try this.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      I’ll be right over.

    • Ryan Denniston
    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Honestly, I prefer a smooth tuna spread. My mom uses a dash of pickle juice and a toooon of spices. (I can handle regular people tuna sandwiches now but you will see me wince when I crunch the celery. Bleh.)

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I use pickle juice too.

      • Shanzgood

        Fennel is nice, too.

      • CripesAmighty

        Amen. Hate surprise crunchy in gooey stuff. Ex: people who cheat on Vindaloos and Kormas by not caramelizing and puréeing the onions should be summarily shot.

    • “M”

      Wow.

      How many people do they bring to the yard?

      • magyar of infinite power

        AOT, K

        • Shanzgood

          Whoop, there it is!

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Damn, that sounds good. Bleu cheese and scallions on the list for Payday. :)

    • puredog

      Melissa Clark has a simple killer. Thick slab of rustic bread. Schmear of Plugra (or other European butter.) Sprinkle of fleur de sel. Layer of oil-packed anchovies. Eat.

  • Grilled stuffed tomatoes are actually really good. esp if you grow them yourself. i’m a big tomato farmer and i always have at least one or two plants to make the big, less flavorful but Yuuuge sort for grilling and stuffing. it’s really hard to screw that up. you just chop a few veggies, whip up a batch of couscous, toss in the dried herbs, and set the stuffed mater over some hot coals. red peppers work better sometimes, but i do love a stuffed tomato in the summertime as a dinner. you can add meat to the mix too.

    • Shanzgood

      OMG are you one of the Lesbian Farmers we’ve been hearing about in the news?!

      https://wonkette.com/605735/rush-limbaugh-so-mad-obama-creating-army-of-lesbian-farmers-to-destroy-america

      • yes. but i’m one of the Good ones. i promise.

        • Shanzgood

          I can’t imagine a BAD one!

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Around here, we assume that you all are Good. Are you new btw? If so, Welcome!

          • i’ve been here longer than almost all of you. it’s OK, i don’t expect anyone to know me. the Originals will, from when we were (blah) in the same town together.

            my current regular blogs just aren’t amusing me so much these days, so i’ve come back. my discuss history should help you understand who i am, if you care. and if you don’t, that’s fine too. i’m Of the Body, as it were, and have the paper to prove it.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            It’s very nice to meet you! I generally check the histories of people I have my doubts about. Not so much the folks who seem nice. I’ve only been here for about a year, so really, I’m pretty new.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I don’t have a grill, but I can get awesome tomatoes from the market, I’m sure they’ll be good stuffed and baked in my oven. :) Thank yo for the idea. :)

    • boyblue122

      sounds tasty

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      Yum, yemista!

    • Pinkham’s Law

      That sounds both delightful, and delightfully simple. Thanks for sharing! And, I note from another non-comment that you’re a prodigal. Welcome back, from a relative newbie!

  • LadyLaz

    Mmmmmm. Someone needs to make me a sammich

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I’ll send Future Mr. Cats right over.

      • LadyLaz

        Lol! Future Mr. Cats sounds like a winner!

  • Me not sure

    Does that tuna have the RDA of mercury in it? I won’t touch it if… Wait, what were we talking about again?… Underwear?…Wow, nice day isn’t it!

  • DerrickWildcat

    Mayonnaise: Unfollowed.

  • Suttree

    As a manly man myself, who scales buildings and beats iron into submission. I have found that cooking for the woman that I love, is one of the best ways to show affection.
    P.s. Lizzie is really getting the cooking thing down. She comes in and chops stuff. Today she admitted to know how to cook. She just doesn’t like too!
    P.P.s. I look good in an apron and boxers.
    P.P.P.s. Wonkette should sell aprons.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I look good in an apron and bikini. Ask the UPS guy. XD

      Wonkette *should* sell aprons, agreed.

      • Suttree

        Hehe!

        • Anna Elizabeth

          XD I didn’t mean to do that, my BFF sent me a surprise Yule gift, and there I was making dinner in my blue bikini and apron.

          • Suttree

            I said the same thing when I opened the door in my boxers with an open beer at 9 am. It was two beautiful Mormon missionary girls. They stiff wouldn’t leave me alone until I told them that “I am a hardcore atheist!”. I was in good shape back then. :)

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I’ll have to try the bikini thing with any missionaries that come by….

          • Suttree

            Please despoil them! I’ll come over and make you dinner as a reward!

          • Shanzgood

            Now I’m disappointed that we don’t get any in my neighborhood! Maybe because there’s a church half a block away. And a liquor store and a bar and a Mexican restaurant and payday loan shark place.

          • Liberoid Ron

            So you just get Baptists?

          • Shanzgood

            We get NOBODY.

          • Shanzgood

            No, nobody. I guess it’s pointless.

          • BeachBum

            I’ll have to try the bikini thing when the missionaries come by.
            With the beer of course.

          • puredog

            You should have tried “I’m a hard-on atheist!” Mighta worked better.

          • Liberoid Ron

            ‘Dear Deseret News
            ‘I never thought this would happen to me, but…’

    • TJ Barke

      I said this to lizzie earlier, but take your loving and blissful relationship and just go… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4a4ab02eb0c8789edd6d18c3ecba5b9ed637b7447d84cdd30f166f57ac5da3fc.gif

      • Suttree

        Thank you TJ!

        • Shanzgood

          He means well.

          • vivian

            That can be read two ways…

    • WomanInThePersistence

      And you two make me smile. Lizzie picked a peach.

    • Me not sure

      Your getting precariously close to Wonkette ass-less chaps territory.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/21e808eb64b93f7187fc21836babecd4b6cf280fdaba9b5c645a9d54fa271faa.jpg

  • Michael R
  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Mayo? We are a Miracle Whip household. AND Ham is trayf. Glad there is a Kosher alternative…..lol

    • The Wanderer

      I have a Jewish friend who eats ham and Swiss on Matzoh.

      • magyar of infinite power

        I served ham for Passover one year.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          Did they stone you?

      • redarmyzombie

        My old Anthropology professor was once ganged up on by his Muslim and Hindu friends because they wanted him to buy them baconators from Wendys…

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Mitt could teach you a thing or two about diversity. When they had family picnics, they packed both mayonnaise and Miracle Whip.

  • Walker, Power Ranger

    Is it okay to substitute the ham with Nicholas Cage?

    (Heh heh. See what I did there?)

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I prefer all of my meat to be Cage-free.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      BRIAN BLESSED libels!!!!!

      • TJ Barke

        The Emperor of ham.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          GORDON”S ALIVE??!!!

          XD

          Even Shatner and Rarity bow to BRIAN BLESSED.

      • DerrickWildcat

        I love that guy

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        CHISWICK!! FRESH HORSES!!!

    • CripesAmighty

      Bill Shatner’s an option as well…

      • The Wanderer

        Good Canadian ham.

    • Me not sure

      I love wry humor.

    • there is a character in the wonderful series Slings & Arrows who dies after being run over by a truck of Hams. it remains one of my favourite sight gags EVER

  • Fancy Meau-Faux

    Always remember the rule: Cheese to mayo and meat to mustard.

    *I don’t actually give a shit about this, but I did know a guy once who INSISTED that doing it any other way was an affront to the sandwich gods.

    • The Wanderer

      Mustn’t anger the Sandwich Gods.

    • PerSister Big Puppy

      Mr. Puppy has always insisted the opposite. Makes him a sammich atheist, I guess.

  • Suttree

    Thank you Pinkham, for the addition of hot sauce. It is a necessity!

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Agreed and endorsed. I will often add Sriracha if I’m the only one eating the salad.

      Tabasco if it’s to be shared with others.

      • Suttree

        We (read I) just made tacos. I had to reserve the hot sauce and jalapenos for mine. Stupid Lizzie doesn’t like spicy. Fucking Masshole! :)

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Yeah, if I’m making to share, all the fun stuffs are on the side. :)

          The girls at Subway give me a look when I order Banana Peppers *and* jalpenos on my sammich. XD

          • Suttree

            That is the only good thing about Subway!

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            Yeah. Honestly, I ate too much fast food on my moving weekend, I’m really glad to be cooking my own, and with better ingredients.

            That Subway was probs the healthiest thing I ate that weekend.

      • Left Coast Tom

        Locally we have “Palo Alto Firefighters Pepper Sauce”, which I’m liking a lot. Delicious pepper flavors amongst the hotness.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Even my spice-averse husband is good with it!

  • memzilla Ω
    • CripesAmighty

      Quelle surprise.

    • The Wanderer

      I’m certain it was a complete and utter accident.

  • eggsacklywright

    I rarely make sammiches any more. Lunch today will be a small chicken boob poached with stock, garlic, leeks, and broccoli with a nice sauvignon blanc.

  • DerrickWildcat

    It’s super easy to make your own Mayonnaise. Just put eggs and lard into a blender.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Lard sounds like an odd thing to make mayo with, since it’s solid at cool temps (and even at room temp). I use a bland oil like grapeseed or canola.

      • DerrickWildcat

        It has to be hot lard.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Hot Lard is the name of my ZZ Topp cover band.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          so does it then set when it cools?

  • magyar of infinite power

    Bell peppers? What madness is this?????

  • folderol

    But I want an egg salad sammich.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I love egg salad. The trick is to not overcook the eggs. 10-12 minutes at a simmer, and let them sit. Then red onion, mayo, celery a little dill. And now I have to go to the store for some eggs.

      • CripesAmighty

        See below for an easy one with a twist.

  • IOnlyLikeCats
    • The Witch of Endor

      Love Kid President. My grandspawn introduced me to his videos about 2 years ago. I think we spent the better part of an afternoon/evening watching his videos.

  • Walker, Power Ranger
    • IOnlyLikeCats

      And generally where they hide the poison.

  • Jonny On Maui

    All this talk of food. And I don’t wanna cook. The best breakfast is one you don’t have to cook or clean up after. Off we go!

    • living in paradise AND breakfast out? jeeze, you really do want all the rest of us to hate you two!

      • Jonny On Maui

        Bitter tears make a great mixer…

  • boyblue122

    OT – Something tells me this wont be a great long term “negotiating” strategy

    https://twitter.com/NatashaBertrand/status/845635296607789056

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Bannon is a real charmer, eh? Fuck him.

    • Walker, Power Ranger

      Steve Bannon: The human personification of the Mucinex monster.

      • The Witch of Endor

        The Mucinex monster is actually cute and preferable to Bannon.

      • boyblue122

        lol…that does kinda look like him

    • TJ Barke

      Bannon seems unaware that, no, this is not yet a fascist dictatorship. Affinity for authoritarianism notwithstanding.

      • The Wanderer

        He should consider himself fortunate. I’m sure a few of those members know people who know other people who might not balk at putting Bannon somewhere Very Quiet.

      • DerrickWildcat
        • The Wanderer

          Yeah, Bannon does sort of favor the Baron, but I’d put him closer to his nephew Rabban – a “muscle-minded tank brain.”

          • Anna Elizabeth

            *imagines Bannon chewing raw cow face*.

            Yep. Thanx, David Lynch.

      • Left Coast Tom

        Bannon seems unaware that the members of the Freedums Caucus would rather be the dictators.

      • BadKitty904

        Though not for lack of trying to make it so on his part.

    • BadKitty904

      Whiiiiiiiiiiiiich is one of the many reasons normal people don’t let guys like Bannon anywhere near government.

    • bookish

      They’re making friends right and left. Carry on.

    • redarmyzombie

      Well bless his small decrepit pile of dogshit he calls a heart…

  • puredog

    Menz make the best sammies. It is known. (The “Dagwood Effect.”)

  • TJ Barke

    My easy, lazy sandwhich:
    Deli sliced turkey on bread(dealer’s choice) with cheese(dealer’s choice) toasted until cheese nice and melted, then add tomato and mayo and enjoy.
    Alternately: Same process but with pastrami, but bread must be sourdough, cheese must be provolone, and replace tomato with sliced pickles.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Nothing wrong with any of that, especially the Sourdough and provalone.

      One thing I do is whisk Mayo, Worcestershire, Dijon, salt, pepper, and dill together to make a zesty sauce.

      • TJ Barke

        That’s why they’re lazy sandwiches.

      • ZAmazingProfessionalCrastinatr

        Do these ingredients have measurements?

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

          I usually eyeball the measurements, but for 2 people, I’d say 2-3 tablespoons of Mayonnaise, a 1/2 teaspoon of Worcestershire, salt maybe an 1/8th of a teaspoon, grind the Black Pepper to suit your taste, and an 1/8 teaspoon of Dill. Whisk it briskly, whip some air into it, and adjust the seasonings until you like the taste. :)

          • ZAmazingProfessionalCrastinatr

            Thank you so much! I don’t usually do exact measurements for this kind of thing either. It sounds so tasty. Dijon? Just a little plop?

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            Oh, you’re quite welcome! :) On the Dijon, I use quite a bit actually, I’d say adjust it to your taste, a little or a lot.

  • nightmoth

    The only meaty salad I like for sammiches is chicken salad, but I could eat this chicken salad every day:

    1/2 cup mayonnaise
    1/2 cup sour cream
    1 T lemon juice
    1 t salt
    1 t pepper
    2 pounds skinned and boned chicken breasts, cooked and chopped
    3 cups red and white seedless grapes, halved
    1 cup chopped walnuts or pecans

    A real man could just substitute one or two of those foil packages of chicken instead of cooking. Dried cranberries are also nice to throw in the mixing bowl.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Ima try that! Except I’m thawing chicken thighs, and I don’t have grapes, but otherwise tomorrow I will make as similar as I can. :)

      • Hutch

        Try it with pineapple. The old Bon Marche in Oregon used to serve chicken salad made with pineapple and it is great!

        • Anna Elizabeth

          That does sound good! :) I love pineapple on pizza sometimes, the taste and texture make for a great contrast.

          • puredog

            YOU MONSTER!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Hadn’t thought about adding sour cream. Yum!

  • DerrickWildcat

    I like Peanut butter sandwiches, fritoes and a glass of milk.

    • eggsacklywright

      Good lord.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Those poor MRAs haven’t had a proper sammich in many years, no wonder they’re so angry.

    • Walker, Power Ranger

      They can’t stand that their imaginary anime girlfriends don’t wanna make them one.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        They’re probably too busy fighting pokimen and moon sailors and whatnot.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        That didn’t even work in “Archer” and that guy can almost create cyborgs from scratch.

        • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

          Yes he can. ;)

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      It’s also why they haven’t moved out of mom’s house.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I cook (more like sear, they cook through while they’re resting) thin steak and toast bread and add romaine lettuce (if I need to meet my vegetable quote I make it open-faced and add more lettuce). It’s hard to screw up and yummy.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Poor things, stupid, mean and hangry ain’t no way to go through life.

      • kareemachan

        Yeah, but they brought it on themselves.

  • Not a sandwich but a great snack/light meal for 2:

    Required 110 gm (4 oz) of easy cook couscous (yes, you can use the type with dried vegetable in it),
    4 or 5 individual leaves of Chinese Leaves (Pak Choi)
    4 small to medium closed cup mushrooms
    about half a bell pepper
    a couple of spring onions or a scallion
    2 inches of courgette (Zucchini)

    If you want 2 rashers of bacon and/or a small clove of garlic

    Chop up all vegetables into fragments,
    (Start the Bacon)
    Heat a wok
    Pour sufficient boiling water on the couscous (usually about 3/4 of a cup) and leave to soak (3 – 5 mins)
    Stir fry the vegetables in about 1 – 1.5 teaspoons of oil
    Check the bacon.

    When the vegetables are cooked the couscous should be ready, empty the veges on top. (Check the bacon is cooked and chop up and add to the melange).
    Stir everything together and season to taste.
    Leave for a couple of minutes to let the flavours of the added vegetables/bacon infuse with the couscous.

    Serve and eat

    • Marion in Savannah

      Sounds yum, will try soon.

  • Walker, Power Ranger

    I eat sandwiches with provolone, muenster and other types of cheeses. Except American. American cheese is garbage.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I agree, and I’d rather eat cheese than chocolate.

      • What sort of a woman are you?????

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          One I wouldn’t be afraid to eat chocolate around.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Well, I love chocolate, it’s just that I *really* love good cheese. XD

          • Martini Ambassador 🍸

            My husband is way more of a chocolate fiend than I. Not that I don’t appreciate chocolate, but I just love cheese so much more.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            There is really nothing like good cheese.

          • Liberoid Ron

            What about Velveeta? That’s nothing like good cheese.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            Damn right! :)

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        I’m with you, Anna. Cheese is a girl’s best friend.

        • WomanInThePersistence
          • Anna Elizabeth

            Lovely! I might do a cheese board to celebrate Payday.

          • Martini Ambassador 🍸

            You know, I’m fixing up our guest quarters for visitors here in cheese country.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I will bring wine! Or at least pay for local wine. :)

          • Martini Ambassador 🍸

            It’s really cheap. And good too.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I can’t think of a better whey to celebrate.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            You’re always so curds-teous.

          • Liberoid Ron

            I’ve never had cheese on a Payday. I’d think the flavours would clash.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            Eww, I think you’re right about that. I do put Sharp Cheddar on a slice of apple pie, tho.

          • Liberoid Ron

            That’s classic, and it works. But I did discover that if you use a less-aged cheese it DOESN’T work. It needs that mix of sharpness and mellowness.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            Agreed, I tried something else once and it was an unhappy experience.

          • Liberoid Ron

            Nothing involving cheese should be unhappy. That’s against nature.

          • kareemachan

            Um, is that a penis on the plate?

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Ummmm, you may have….issues.

          • It’s there to scare the MRAs

        • i spent a ridiculous amt on cheese at the market this morning. i got two wheels of brie (the small ones, not the one’s that need a forklift), a tub of chevre, a brick of parmagganio reggiano, and a montery jack with green peppercorns

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Can I come over? I’ll bring wine. :D

          • DrBigHead

            I honestly cannot imagine what a “ridiculous” amount of cheese would be. I would call what you described as basic staples.

          • i live by myself, have no significant other to cook for at the moment, and my friends all live out of town

          • DrBigHead

            All sound like good reasons to treat yourself to good cheese.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I knew I loved you for a reason.

          • the chevre from this place is a staple for me. it’s amazing and never gets too solid to spread. the brie was on sale (justification!). parm is just a staple for life in general. but i try and get something new at least every couple of months, so that’s the green peppercorn jack

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I am generally not a fan of cheese with stuff in it, but this combination is intriguing.

          • i will let you know when i try. i just had tea and cookies, so i’m OK for now.

          • Vienna Woods

            Best cheese in the region is from Gunn’s Hill near Woodstock. If you can find it, buy some!

          • that’s the goudas that All ‘Bout Cheese carries! i was at their counter at the farmer’s market this morning before work

          • Liberoid Ron

            I need to get there. My old source for really fresh curds vanished and I’m in poutine withdrawal.

          • puredog

            There’s a particularly good parm at TJ’s. Forget the name, but it’s a three-word name, green yellow and red label. Yum.

          • Canadia doesn’t have TJs. so i’ll stick with my local dude

          • Liberoid Ron

            The only ‘ridiculous’ amount of cheese is ‘none.’

          • it was more a comment on the cost of said cheese.

          • Liberoid Ron

            There’s two kinds of cheese: cheese that you can afford and cheese you can’t afford but buy anyway.

        • puredog

          What a friend we have in cheeses.

    • BadKitty904

      Sharp-cheddar sammiches, with either chutney or with horseradish. Mmmmmm…

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Yes! I love horseradish on sammiches. My shopping list is growing….

    • snark-lurker

      merican cheez is acquired taste i guess, like beer to a native of france

    • kareemachan

      Tuna fish sammies with raisins and miniature marshmallows.

      Honestly yummy!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I’ve done the raisins, but not the mashmallows. I’ll have to try them, though.

    • ZAmazingProfessionalCrastinatr

      My wife used to have American “cheese” on everything until I made her grilled cheese sandwich with baby swiss and cheddar one day without telling her. Now she doesn’t want the American “cheese” anymore.

  • BadKitty904
    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Daily tea parties with gay couples.

      • BadKitty904

        Sounds like fun to me!

      • SeeTrain65

        WIN.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    This is way the heck OT, but Woah! if true

    https://twitter.com/RVAwonk/status/845717891425193989

    Please, please, please, let this week be even better than the last.

    • puredog

      Whoa if true indeed.

    • Sardonicuss

      Hah! People speculating if Gholiani talked first. Of course he talked first, he was babbling about having an inside track at the FBI before the election.
      …but his inside track was the inward facing division, not counter intel.
      Flynn must be singing like a bird.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Bird? He’s singing like the Mormon Tabernacle Choir!

    • BadKitty904

      Wouldn’t surprise me. Flynn is truly a mad dog.

      Like so many Republicans, he genuinely believes he’s above the law.

      • puredog

        Would surprise me. I always thought that Flynn, inculcated as he is with military protocol, would take one for the Gipper rather than squeal. See: Ollie North. But maybe he feels all ill-used in his fee-fees.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          He likely started to get nervous that he was chosen to be the sacrificial lamb and decided to proactively cover his ass

          • Sardonicuss

            Having an implicating story placed in Drumps house rag (The Enquirer) is making him a bit nervous.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            eggzactly- he knows shit is going to go down, he knows someone’s head will have to roll, he knows that he’s been isolated and ostracized already and would be the easiest scapegoat when the shit inevitably hits the fan, then Donnie’s BFF writes an article cutting his throat (unless he’d already rolled and the article was in response to it)

        • BadKitty904

          I reckon we’re about to see just how much of his G.I. Joe facade is real.

        • tehbaddr

          Yup, he’s this century’s Ollie North!

      • tehbaddr
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Pass the popcorn

    • boyblue122

      Flynn was on the phone with the Ruskie ambassador multiple times. Everyone on team Drumpf must be crapping their pants. Keep Flynn from “accidentally” falling out of some bathroom windows.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Woah! If true. Please whateverthingyouchoosetobelive in, may this be true. And wtf was Comey doing at the White House last night?

      • boyblue122

        Trump is going to further isolate himself. Reince was supposed to be the link to the moderate Rs.

        If Trump cant work with moderate Rs or the tea party hes going to get little if anything accomplished

        • Liberoid Ron

          That would be the hope, yes.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        How happy must Dubya be to know he can legit no longer be considered as the worst POTUS in history?

        • Dudleydidwrong

          Yeah. W’s stupid enough to believe that there’s some prize for being second-worst. It’s Warren G. Harding who is “standing tall” now–whole lot of cheering in Marion, Ohio: “We’re third worst! We’re third worst!”

          • Anna Elizabeth

            LOL I can see that, almost!

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Buchanan libelz!

  • rumsey

    Great addition to tuna salad — add diced apple and a little curry powder. Plus some mayo. Or plain yogurt. If you have a few chopped walnuts, some dried cranberries — well just about anything, put ’em in, too. But the apple and curry are essential.Can’t be beat.

  • OT but get the info out there. Note this is not ISIS being hit but Syrian opposition
    https://twitter.com/DrShajulIslam/status/845694091958648832

    • retweeted. that’s fucking terrifying and awful

    • Liberoid Ron

      Because we didn’t learn a thing from WWI.
      Poison gas being used on CIVILIANS.
      Fucking HELL.
      And nobody will be punished for it.

  • BadKitty904

    I really like the idea of adding hard-boiled egg to ham salad, Mr. Pink! That hadn’t occurred to me.

    Howzabout, some day, a pimento-cheese recipe for our Yankee friends, so they, too, can enjoy one of our yummiest sammiches?

    • puredog

      Mit olives.

      • olives are the debbil. even walking by the olive stand in the grocery store makes me gag

        • Vienna Woods

          Oh heavens. Black olives are so good.

          • puredog

            Black olives matter.

          • Dudleydidwrong

            Sorry. Black olives anti-matter.

          • ISWYDT

        • Liberoid Ron

          Can I have yours, then? I have on occasion made a meal out of a half jar of stuffed olives and a block of cheese.

      • calliecallie

        Egg and olive sammiches are delicious. Egg salad with chopped green olives basically. I grew up eating these, and when I was pregnant so many years ago I craved them regularly. (With grapefruit juice. Go figure.)
        We always have a wide variety of olives in our frig. For pre-dinner snacking.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I love Olives. Green, black, stuffed with Pimentos or Bleu cheese, I always have olives around.

          • Black olives blue cheese – i’ll try that with some Cornish Blue tomorrow

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Sounds lovely! :)

    • kareemachan

      [gag]

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      BadKitty, I sooooooo miss pimento cheese. That and Duke’s mayonnaise. The northeast is great, but FFS, that shit they call mayo is garbage.

      • BadKitty904

        Ha! I made pimento-cheese last weekend for our lunches this past week – it’s all gone. And yup, there’s a jar of good ol’ Mrs. Duke’s in the ‘fridge right now, along with a couple o’ bottles o’ Cheerwine..

      • tehbaddr

        Umm is there something wrong with Hellmann’s?

        • NastyBossetti

          No, Hellmann’s is the correct mayo in any mayo-required situation.
          ETA: Unless you’re on the left coast, because it’s called Best Foods over there, which explains the “Bring out the Hellmann’s and bring out the best!” jingle from my youth.

          • tehbaddr

            Correct, miracle whip is not mayo. All but the backwoods North Easterners know this.

          • NastyBossetti

            What even is Miracle Whip? It doesn’t taste like mayo.

          • tehbaddr

            Go ahead try some in place of proper mayo, you’ll find out! They tried to re-market Miracle Whip to millennials a decade ago as being the best thing, better than mayo. I don’t know if that ever took hold.

          • NastyBossetti

            Oh, I’ve tried it. It was… tangy.

          • tehbaddr

            Tangy and SWEET! WTF?

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            It’s a miracle if I can swallow that crap.

          • Teecha

            Is there even any other kind?
            In Britain, they make all their mayo with free range eggs. Another reason (as of one were required) to buy.

          • tehbaddr

            I use sushi grade quail eggs and only the very best EVOO for my Aioli!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Yum-Oh!

          • Regret

            Hellmans is not allowed to be called mayo here, I don’t know why.
            … Looked it up.
            Hellmans is not allowed to be called mayonaisse because it does not contain enough oil. Mayonaisse is a protected name only acceptable when the product is a oil-water emulsion with at least 70% oil and 5% egg-yolk.

            I’ve never tasted it so I can’t comment on the taste, I just assumed it was another overly sweet and too bland American product. Though I’m starting to get the impression it may actually be good from what I just read on some food blogs.

          • NastyBossetti

            Interesting. Where are you? What would Hellmann’s be called if it can’t be called mayo? Sandwich spread?

        • Hutch

          I grew up using Best Foods/Hellman’s, but sometime in the 90s they changed the recipe. I’m in the south now, and Duke’s is the best! I think because Duke’s uses apple cider vinegar instead of white (spirit) vinegar.

        • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

          Have you ever had Duke’s? All other mayo’s pale in comparison (pun semi-intended).

    • Pinkham’s Law

      I DO have a recipe for that. It’ll turn up, in the fullness of time.

      • BadKitty904

        THAT’S the ticket!

  • JMP

    Over the use, the MRAs have in fact made it very clear that they don’t know how to cook, exchanging recipes like this:

    http://www.rawstory.com/2015/03/recipes-for-misogynists/

    Now, the basic preparation of one of these frozen breasts is easy: remove from freezer and wrapping, plop onto a pan and place into a 450 degree Fahrenheit (about 230 Celsius) oven for about an hour or less.

    While you are waiting, get on Twitter and give hell to any feminists you can find.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Yay for them. JFC

      • JMP

        Then they get to enjoy meat that tastes like a dried piece of rubber, yum.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          *shudder* I bake *thawed* chicken thighs for an hour at 375F, turning over once, and then I check if they are properly cooked. Yuk!

          • puredog

            A couple of years ago a cook friend gave me one of those probe instant read thermometers. I kinda scratched my haid, cause I thought it was sort of foo-foo. I now recognize that it is one of the world’s greatest tools, not only for meat of every description, but also for holding simmering pans at a given temp. Really, I don’t use it all THAT often, but when I do, it’s just the thing. Like many kitchen objets.

          • zerosumgame0005

            they can work for making candy too! you have to get and keep the sugar to exact temps, very finicky and fun! I use an old fashioned one, but am looking for a new one

          • Vienna Woods

            Actually, I often throw frozen legs in the Dutch oven at 400. They come out with crackling skin and stay really moist.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            That sounds worth trying. :)

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I mean, I’ve been really lazy before and cooked (or only partially defrosted) frozen meat before, but I didn’t treat it in such a way to make it completely inedible. What is wrong with them?

      • Left Coast Tom

        Well, Trump likes to have steak burnt well-done then pour ketchup over it.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      These men have human breasts in their freezer??

      http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/mshckd.gif

    • Liberoid Ron

      That’s not a recipe. That’s an offense against poultry.

  • Hutch

    I had an MRA sandwich once. Microwaved chuck roast thrown in a blender with Miracle Whip and served on white bread. It looked like ground mouse. I didn’t taste it and threw it in a fake potted plant.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      FAKE POTTED PLANT MURDERER!

      • Hutch

        He was a cousin (one of the eastern Washington trailer park Hutchs) and his house smelled so bad I’m sure he didn’t even notice it rotting. Or, maybe one of his poor kittys found it and ate it. Good knows

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          Nope … kitties have waaaaaay better taste than that.

  • canes_pugnaces

    With all fairness to culinary history and traditions… ewww.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Non sammich nice time:
    The lawsuit that could potentially bring down the Jerry Falwell empire

    If there is anything at all to this, the entire Falwell empire is finished. For years, Liberty Law and Liberty Counsel have contended that ex-gay parents have a duty to engage in civil disobedience rather than comply with visitation orders. But this suit alleges that major elements of the Falwell empire went well beyond that—to being accomplices in a kidnapping.

    • Liberoid Ron

      Oh, I hope there’s summat to that. I have a lovely sense that all this proto-fascist RW shit might fall apart all at once, and that would be almost too joyful for words.

  • bookish

    Charter bus transportation available for #ScienceMarchDC on 4/22/17. Details here.

    https://www.letskedaddle.com/events?terms=science%20march

  • Vienna Woods

    I’ve been on a cooking binge now that I’m not out at rehearsal 4 nights a week. Mr VW got chicken pot pie a couple of nights ago with a top crust made with chicken fat and chicken broth. God it was good. Then last night slow bbq ribs while a yoooge pot of ham soup cooked on the stove, now packaged up in freezer. Today is chicken broth day as I need cool weather to chill the broth before I pack it up for freezer. I should have 4 gallons by the time I’m done to get me through the warm months.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Our cooking binges are in sync!

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    I’ve been cooking and baking all week and yesterday I was thinking today I’d just have leftovers after I threw beef stew into the slow cooker but I had cut up potatoes left over and broccoli with a garlic sauce downstairs gave me so I made a brunch with NY strip steak, roasted vegetables, and angel hair pasta with bacon, broccoli, and a creamy garlic sauce.

  • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

    Also too, now that BadKitty has me on a nostalgic food hankering, how about fried okra, and greens.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Damn. That sounds good, too.

  • tehbaddr

    You forgot the capers in the tuna salad!1!!!111!!!!!1111!!!!!!

    • Liberoid Ron

      The last time I capered in tuna salad they banned me from the park.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
  • Anna Elizabeth

    I’m broke, so it’s leftovers for lunch & dinner, but the leftovers are Angel Hair pasta with crushed tomato sauce, including Baby Portobello mushrooms saute’d in Olive Oli.

    I adore the local market here. Meat and produce from local farms. :)

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Nice! I’m too lazy to do anything today so I’m just going to order in. There’s this great Ecuadorian place near me that makes an excellent fish stew. I’m having that for dinner. :)

      • Anna Elizabeth

        OOh, that sounds yummy too! :)

        I adore this local store. It’s just over a mile away, and the fresh produce is just divine, and the other day I got 6 chicken thighs for $2.12.

        I’ve been eating lots of fresh green salads, and I use fresh-squeezed Lime juice as a part of my beauty mask.

    • Liberoid Ron

      Jeez, your leftovers are nicer than my original meals.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

        Thanx :D I made a ton, I love cooking, but sometimes it’s nice to cook once and eat for a few days.

  • Teecha

    A freshly made sandwich is ok. But as a lunchbox item, nope. I do not like a room temp filling, or cold bread. So I take salad jars and keftedes to work.
    Also, here is my ham sarnie recipe.
    Tiger bread
    Yorkshire cured ham
    Teaspoon of mayo.
    Apply mayo to one slice of bread. Add ham. Finish with other slice of bread.
    Cut in triangles. Sandwiches taste best in triangles.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    The tuna salad recipe looks yummy except I’ll have to leave out the celery. IDK who made the decision that celery is food, but IMHO:

    http://38.media.tumblr.com/821244886ecc97f08f75f76647de663e/tumblr_n9vo6fl7e21smcbm7o1_500.gif

    • DrBigHead

      Not even in a Bloody Mary?!!

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Hell to the no. That’s why God invented spoons.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          XD

      • Sardonicuss

        Asparagus spears are better for Bloody Mary..

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          THAT sounds delicious!

          • Sardonicuss

            It is! It will ruin you for B.Mary’s made any other way….because they just don’t cut it.

    • boyblue122

      its basically there for the salt and crunchy texture, no? I dont think it really has a flavor

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        It makes me gag every time I taste it. Onions are much better!

      • Panika MCD

        fresh pickles can also too serve to add crunch AND flavor.

      • Regret

        Yes it does, it tastes like soap.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Ants on a log libelz.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        The ants are more than welcome to the celery.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        My mother claims that I loved ants on logs when I was a toddler. She lies. I hate both raisins and celery, and I’m not that into PB either, tbh.

    • Panika MCD

      celery is for bloody marys and keeping kids occupied with peanut butter and raisins.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I’m an adult, darn it.

        • Panika MCD

          what’s wrong with a bloody mary?

      • Cool celery is also great for kids teething, I’ve been told

        • Panika MCD

          I would not know.

    • Teecha

      I bloody love celery. I like to eat it with a bit of salt to dip the stalks in. Yum!

      • Lord Jim

        Fokkin-A! As God intended.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        It’s all yours!

    • janecita

      I feel the same about lettuce.

    • zerosumgame0005

      what do you use to scoop the blue cheese dressing when eating wings?

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        A spoon. I don’t even like to look at celery!

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Anna Elizabeth

      Nice administration you got there, you MAGA-hatted tubs of rancid goat offal.

      • Lord Jim

        Butbutbut Crooked Hillary! Emailghazipayforplayarglebargle!

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I’ve figured it out you guys. The higher ups will mostly sing like canaries or try to escape, but Republicans in general (all being involved) will say, “oh, we’re not going to impeach him! *weird logicless Republican rant here*” until Donnie is arrested by the FBI, after which they’ll all scatter like cockroaches.

    • Sardonicuss

      Man, if that pans out. Every dem including Schiff should spend tomorrow morning screaming for Numnuts reassignment. Hell they should be doing that anyway!

    • ariel_gee_398

      The party of Lincoln, if Lincoln had cut a deal with the Confederacy to supply its army with wine and uniforms made in China.

    • Shoto

      Malcolm Nance was suggesting that Flynn is looking at hard time, and that it won’t be long before he starts flipping on everyone in sight. As for Manafort, Page and Stone, he’s thinking RICO statutes might be applicable there.

      Here’s a toast to the first one who manages to lock up a deal with the prosecutors in exchange for a reduced sentence and/or immunity. Oh, and fuck Nunes. He needs to be gone.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      So, when (not if) Flynn sings like a boy soprano with his truck nutz in a vise, will he take out Congressman Dunce Nunes also too? Enquiring minds want to know!

    • Shibusa

      I am curious about the source of that (other than the Twitters) Nunes bit.
      I hope Devin goes down, hard.

  • Panika MCD

    I make my own mayo that has mustard and cholula hot sauce with lemon juice as the acid. so a lot of these ingredients are fairly unnecessary. but pickles, not pickle relish is preferred. capers if you’re fancy. I have found that if you have lemons, lemon zest should be added. and you can thin out the stuff with garbanzo beans if you want to use it as a salad.

  • WeaselPoo

    A sandwich that Americans should have dreamed up, but didn’t:
    Peanut butter and bacon!
    Cut the bacon into little bits, fry till crispy. Toast the bread, smear some butter on, then spread on the PB and sprinkle the bacon. It’s particularly agreeable when consumed with a bowl or cup of tomato soup.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I’ll try this! I think peanut butter works well with savory food. I make spicy Thai-style chicken with peanut butter and curry sauce that is awesome,

      • WeaselPoo

        “satay”, right? Yummy.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

          I *think* that’s the term, but I’m not sure.

  • Rick Hill

    Those aren’t manly sandwiches! All you need is one of those really big, round frenchified loaves of bread. Cut it in half. Go out to your cow shed, hit the nearest one between the eyes, killing it instantly. Use your foot and a half bowie knife and cut a hunk off it, put it on the bread and Bam! you got a manly sandwich. No you’re ready TGYOW

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      ….. Wut. Are you trying to kill them?

      • Rick Hill

        It would be unhumane to cut a hunk off a cow if you didn’t.

    • Sardonicuss

      Best to be proactive. Given half a chance, those cows would kill everyone you know and love.

      • Rick Hill

        I’m sayin’

    • I’ll have an alligator sandwich – and make it fairly quickly

  • MynameisBlarney

    I prefer the type of tuna/chicken/egg salads like my grandma used to make.
    Southern style with a bit more mustard than mayo.
    No grapes, no walnuts or pecans or whatever.
    The tuna and chicken salads had onions, pickles, banana peppers, green peppers, celery, apple cider vinegar, Worcestershire sauce and a little salt & pepper.
    The egg salad was pretty damn simple obviously. All the above minus the veggies.

    I don’t make that type of stuff very often, but I tend to use deli mustard or Dijon instead of that watery yellow crap. And I use kosher salt and fresh ground pepper.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      That’s pretty much how Mom taught me to make them. :)

    • Panika MCD

      no pecans? how is it Southern style? apple cider vinegar is for New England and I think you meant Cholula sauce when you put Worcestershire.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Nope, no pecans.
        We saved them for pies. And as for how it’s Southern style….well, I growed up in the South and that’s how my granny made it, ya hear?

        We used white vinegar for greens and such, but used the cider vinegar for everything else.

        And the only hot sauce in our house back then was Texas Pete.

        • Panika MCD

          they named a North Carolina hot sauce “Texas Pete”?

          • MynameisBlarney

            LOL
            INORITE!!?

            And it’s a Louisiana style hot sauce too.

          • Panika MCD

            that’s just dumb. I usually go for Crystal if I want Louisiana style hot sauce.

          • MynameisBlarney

            *shrugs*
            It’s what I grew up with.

          • Panika MCD

            ‘splains a lot.

          • Jennifer R

            We name all sorts of strange things in NC. Krispy Kreme, Cheerwine, Royal Crown Cola.

            Also 2 star out of 5 schools are called “Schools of Distinction”.

          • MynameisBlarney

            And Sun Drop, you forgot Sun Drop.

          • Jennifer R

            I did, stuff is tasty. Also at least in the Earth Fare in Asheville NC you can get some kickass “Juan’s jalapeno Raspberry salsa”

          • Panika MCD

            Cheerwine sounds like a less accurate name for snake juice.

          • Jennifer R

            It’s a cherry soda? But not quite cherry? It’s hard to describe. One year Krispy Kreme ran special Cheerwine doughnuts only available in NC.

          • Panika MCD

            interesting. what’s Krispy Kreme’s bathroom policy?

        • Left Coast Tom

          My only exposure to Texas Pete is that it’s included with the “Texas State Fair Chili” dehydrated backpacking food Packit Gourmet ships (from Austin). It’s not bad, better than Tabasco. Cholula’s better, as I posted below I’m really loving Palo Alto Firefighters Hot Sauce.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I prefer Texas Pete because it doesn’t overpower the food.
            And it’s got that lovely vinegar twang to it.

          • Panika MCD

            but Cholula has garlic! (Tobasco definitely overpowers other flavors).

          • Panika MCD

            I’ve never heard of the Packit Gourmet you speak of and I’ve been living in Austin (with the exception of college and grad school) since 1990.

          • Left Coast Tom

            They’re here, and at least some of what they have is a hell of a lot better than Backpackers Pantry or other such.

          • Panika MCD

            I prefer HEB. especially since they do so many good things for so many people. one of the things they’re doing is funding an education PAC called Raise Your Hand Texas and they’re a bunch of libtarts that caught the attention of Breitbart who didn’t want groceries anyway. their office is a block and a half closer to the Pink Dome than the “conservative” rage monkeys at TPPF funded by the Koch bros who then funded the American Phoenix Foundation’s harassment of law makers. I love it that TPPF’s analists have to walk past it every day.

          • Left Coast Tom

            HEB’s a supermarket, isn’t it? They have dehydrated backpacking food?

          • Panika MCD

            you’d be surprised at what you can find at an HEB.

  • William
    • Panika MCD

      the maker of this meme has never met a woman he wasn’t related to.

      • Problem is he has children

        • Panika MCD

          just because he treats his Power Ranger and GI Joe dolls like they’re children, doesn’t mean they are children.

  • William
  • Rick Hill

    Yeah but those are common man sandwiches. what you really need to do is be like the gop, rent the Mar a Lago ballroom for 150k with Melania as the star sandwich maker. I wonder how many millions trump has made off being in the WH, so far?
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/03/melania-trump-is-featured-guest-at-mar-a-lago-fundraiser-after-gop-drops-150000-to-rent-ballroom/

    • Panika MCD

      Melania makes sammiches? I guess when your husband grabs all the pussies you have to do a few things you can’t hire staff for–but sammiches seem like they would be made by someone else.

    • tehbaddr

      I read that as “Bathroom” instead of “Ballroom” and was thinking of a different sort of sandwich.

  • Rick Hill

    Actually, the best sandwich I ever had, the old boss had a buddy who worked at the Dayton country club. He stopped by once and brought us all a box lunch they made up. It was a simple sandwich but it was so good. Pretty sure that was made by a guy.(Goes to show, if you want a job done right……)

  • Panika MCD

    anyone else get a love note from a troll over on the “gun humpers are laughing about the death of Jo Cox” from 9 months ago? if so, exactly how much do you want to fuck with the person now?

    • MynameisBlarney

      No, but I do get replies from idjit trolls on really old posts of mine every once in a while.

      • Jennifer R

        I don’t even get that.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Lucky!

          • Jennifer R

            I HAVE decided to start making an Fplus document from posts on GoG.com forums.

      • colonelangus007

        Idjits – the new white meat

        https://youtu.be/phxCsoGESEU

    • Jennifer R

      Reply with the photos of the dead nazi leadership, and that news article with the photo of gl rockwell’s brain smeared on the pavement.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Nope. And what is wrong with that person?

      • Panika MCD

        IDK. has probably been lost on the same thread for the past 9 months trying to think of a good response. didn’t work.

  • Jennifer R

    Your tuna salad is missing the mustard and vinegar.

    • Shoto

      What about dills instead of sweet pickles? Would that screw it all up?

      • Jennifer R

        I don’t usually work much in the way of pickle in to my tuna salad, but there isn’t any badwrongfun so knock yourself out.

        Also my browser recognises badwrongfun as a word.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Not in my opinion.

        Also, too; Sweet pickles are of the Devil.

        The ONLY exception being that dill relish on a red hot would be wrong.

        • Jennifer R

          Yeah I don’t really have any use for sweet cucumber pickles outside of relish.

        • Vienna Woods

          My home made 7 day gherkins libelz!

          • MynameisBlarney

            Wait…

            What?

          • Vienna Woods

            I make gherkins, takes 7 days of pouring boiling water over them and letting them sit before canning them in sugar syrup. They are good.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Ah…I see the auto-correct changed “gherkins” to “ghettos” lol.

          • Vienna Woods

            I know, I fixed it but obviously not fast enough.

        • Liberoid Ron

          Blasphemer! Sweet pickles have their place in the Great Menu Of Life as well as their dill cousins!

          • MynameisBlarney

            No blasphemer! No blasphemer! You’re the blasphemer!

  • Anna Elizabeth

    OT – less than 8 hours ’til the 2017 Formula One Season starts with the Grand Prix of Australia!

    Here are the Top Ten Team Coms from the 2016 Season:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOf6ZoNJfbc&index=21&list=PLgA_QpnjZQyxiI0w4WufY2UozFlwsX1Zg

    Vettel on coms makes me giggle.

  • Shoto

    The ham sammich recipe looks really good. The tuna recipe also looks good, although I’m wondering how substituting dill pickles for the sweet pickles might work. I ain’t too keen on sweet pickles, but I’m a fiend for kosher dills.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I only use Kosher dills in mine, they are divine. :)

      • MynameisBlarney

        I bet pickled green tomatoes would be good too.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I hadn’t thought of that! I think you are correct though, it’s certainly worth a try.

          I’ll have to look, the local market has lots of great things like that. :)

  • Shanzgood
    • Anna Elizabeth

      The guy in blue is so pretty. :)

  • ariel_gee_398

    Just in case anyone fell for that “Trump just had ‘meetings’ at his golf course” line today.
    https://twitter.com/jaxbra/status/845726796385538048

    • Vienna Woods

      I love that he can’t stop this shit from leaking out, week after week. What a maroon.

      • Jennifer R

        Peter Principle in action.

      • Left Coast Tom

        He doesn’t appear to give a shit.

        I hope his Rust Belt fans are paying attention (I doubt they’re paying attention).

      • Liberoid Ron

        He could if he were better at inspiring loyalty in his staff.

        (I can’t believe I got that out with a straight face.)

    • The Wanderer

      He needs the cleats for extra-effective stepping upon other peoples’ toes.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Or maybe he’s just afraid of the stairs.

        • The Wanderer

          Very true.

        • magyar of infinite power

          He should be, Pence’s a nasty fucker

          • LucindathePook

            So’s Putin.

        • Rags

          He does seem to be kind of clinging to that railing and looking ahead with trepidation.

      • Liberoid Ron

        Or faces.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    This is how I make Tuna salad! And yes I am a hetero male. The Tabasco I did not use, I just add some chili peppers.

    • magyar of infinite power

      Raw? Whole?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Chopped and just a little bit.

  • Walker, Power Ranger
    • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

      I just stole this and put it in my pictures folder.

  • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

    Been listening to this song a LOT lately.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sAOUcsiaDs&list=RD1sAOUcsiaDs

  • Sardonicuss

    Will this embed work? Morning Joy w/ David Corn on Nunuts..

    *nope. Well the link works. David Corn nails it.
    https://vid.me/jw5U

    • Shoto

      That was a very good segment, with a Class-A panel.

    • Jamoche

      Just paste in the raw URL. Disqus doesn’t grok embeds (other than your basic “a href”) but does know how to embed a lot of URLs, and if not, it’ll be clickable.

      • Sardonicuss

        That link works for that. Just wanted the player.

  • Vienna Woods

    Well, I just had a fried egg sammich on toasted sunflower seed bread, with cheese melted on top of the egg, a bit of sweet onion, and my sun-dried tomato paste smeared on the bread. It was good.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Dayum, that sounds lovely!

      • Vienna Woods

        It was so good I had two. After all, I did a 3.5 k hike with the dog, so I was hungry.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Nicely done. :) I’m being lazy today, but Thursday was another 5 mile day, and at least 2 miles every day since last Saturday.

          • Vienna Woods

            In addition to working out a gym twice a week now, I’m doing 3.5 k most days, some days I slack and do just 2, but the dog is a great motivator- as in from about 3 pm on he won’t leave me alone until I take him! Retirement has been great for my exercise, since I can schedule it when I want. And we’re surrounded by orchards, so in the winter it’s a great place to hike. I’ll have to find an alternative in the summer, though- not walking through sprayed orchards!

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            You’re doing great! I don’t have a car, so I’m used to walking. My new neighborhood has lots of sidewalks, so I walk as often in heels as not. My 5 miles the other day was again 3 miles in the morning, 2 more in the afternoon, in my spike-heeled boots both times. :)

          • Vienna Woods

            That would kill me. Hiking boots are the only way I can do it.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            I try to vary with my sneakers, especially if I’m unsure about terrain, but I adore my high heels and actually, my back prefers when I wear heels.

          • tinker12

            Impressive.

    • MynameisBlarney

      A BLT with a fried egg on top is a good sammich too.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Love those! Good mayo, a fresh tomato with cracked Black Pepper and Kosher salt.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Yup, and some good bread too.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            Yup, anything with whole grains works for me. :)

          • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

            I think I’m addicted to whole grain anything.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            Me too. I despise white bread. I’m looking forwards to getting new yeast and good whole grain flour and such and baking bread soon. :)

          • MynameisBlarney

            The only thing white bread is good for is bait for cat fish.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            Hey, it’s nice you found a use for that substance. XD

          • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

            I don’t despise white bread so much as white bread despises me. I can’t eat it, so I don’t. I’m not missing anything. :)

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            Fer shure. It’s not for reasons of my health, it’s simply because I hate the flavor of white bread.

      • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

        Just about any sandwich can be made better with a fried egg.

        • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

          Hamburgers with fried eggs FTW

          • MynameisBlarney

            I still have yet to be able to bring myself to try that.

          • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

            It is amazing. The idea seemed strange at first, but oh my fuck, deliciouso.

          • bobbert

            Loco moko.

          • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

            Oh my damn, that sounds amazing.

        • tinker12

          My favorite breakfast is avocado toast with a fried egg. Damn good way to start the day and it keeps me full for hours.

      • BadKitty904

        Down Here, any dish ordered with an egg on top is “a caballo” – “on horseback”. And no, I don’t know why.

        • Hutch

          I’ve heard of angels on horseback (an oyster wrapped in bacon), and reverse cowgirls, but never a caballo. Is it a Cuban thing?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Sounds more Mexican than Cuban to me.
            But, what do I know?

          • BadKitty904

            Well, “Caribbean”. I don’t know which island started it…

    • YourNameHere

      What brand of sunflower bread did you use? I bought some thinking I love sunflower seeds but it was vile.

      • Vienna Woods

        It was from a local small-town bakery, so that won’t help you much, sorry!

  • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

    I only made a typical sandwich for me. Black forest ham, a slice of Vermont cheddar on grilled whole wheat bread with a little bit of mustard. It’s not exciting but I like it.

    • The Wanderer

      Simple and hearty!

      • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

        It also works well when you’re appetite really sucks. It’s filling but not too heavy.

        • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

          Black forrest hand and cheddar, simple and fucking amazing.

  • Royal Ugly Dude
  • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet
  • Jeff Ackerman

    The woman that lets me live with her also lets me do all the cooking, cleaning, and laundry.

    • MynameisBlarney

      She has you trained well I see.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Good.

    • calliecallie

      I would like to subscribe to her newsletter.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Sardonicuss

      This is going to be such a fun week…starting tomorrow morning!
      Can Shuck Todd spin this into no big deal?
      The world wants to know.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Hey, he’s the dribble police.

      • OrG

        He’ll try.

        • Sardonicuss

          This is MTP.
          Move along, nothing to see here.

      • Shoto

        “It’s a fact that both sides do it. Let’s go to our Power Panel to discuss.”

        — Chuck Todd

        • Sardonicuss

          We have Nunes and Flynn in the green room…but first, an update on the Clinton emails.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Sunday morning talking head explosions immanent.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

      Whoa.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      OOOOOHHHHH!!!!!

      Please let this be a real thing and not yet another nothingburger!!! Please!!! Please!!!

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        They are all burgers. Some of them just have less spices.

      • OrG

        Seems like a somethigburger from here.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I hope I’m not getting my hopes up for nothing. I still can’t decide if I want Trump impeached, because then Pence will be president. He’ll be a less flamboyant fuck up, and might actually get re-elected. OTOH – he might not be able to get the non voting idiots out in 2020, like Trump did. It’s like trying to decide if I want a shitburger or a canned clam salad sandwich.

      • The Wanderer

        Hmm. Shit – canned clam salad. Shit – canned clam salad.
        .
        Gimme the salad. On a Kaiser roll.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        I’m guessing they’ll treat up to both.

      • OrG

        Unless he(pence) is taken down too.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          President Paul Ryan? Just shoot me now, please.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Kind of looks like everyone in the party was complicit, if we’re being honest. I mean, Ryan looks the least involved so we may be stuck with him (thankfully he’ll probably be extremely ineffective and have a dark cloud over him the whole time) but it looks like everything about the last election was illegitimate. I have no idea where that leaves us.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Up Shit Creek without a paddle?

          • Liberoid Ron

            It’s hard to fathom that there’s no procedure at ALL for dealing with a mess like this.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            America seceded a bit too soon.

          • Sardonicuss

            Oh no, Pres. Ryan would be just fine.
            Everyone, including his own collegues hate his guts. …and he is utterly un encumbered by..a spine.
            He would not be able to fuck up nearly as much as even Pence.
            31/2 years of lame duckitude.

          • Shoto

            We need to repeat the fact that idiot Nunes cleared his trip (and/or was ordered) to the White House earlier this week by ZEGS Ryan. I’m guessing ZEGS Ryan ain’t squeaky clean here. Maybe not actionable, but there’s certainly an appearance of conflict. Under these extraordinary circumstances, that should be enough.

          • OrG

            That would be “interesting”,if nothing else. I’m sure his “conservative intellectual” tag would go up in flames.Quickly.

          • Sardonicuss

            Like literally yesterday? (Among those who were stupid enough to believe it in the first place..)

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Maybe it’s the optimist in me, but I think Ryans done.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I’m hoping president Bannon and the RWNJs in Congress do him the same way they did Boehner. Fingers crossed!

          • WomanInThePersistence

            The nohealthcare thing finished him. At least I hope so. He’s all hat, no cattle.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I was almost hoping they passed their American Shitburger Act, just because it was so dreadful and was going to completely screw their own base. Unfortunately it would have also screwed nice people. I was really torn over that one.

            I am enjoying its failure, just because it makes Republicans look so lame. Their bill was so bad, they couldn’t even get their own idiots to vote for it. Their base will probably be too stupid to realize how they really dodged a bullet on that one.

          • Shoto

            Hope you’re right.

      • Shoto

        Drumpf, Pence and ZEGS Ryan all need to go. Next in the line of succession would be Orrin Hatch. He’s not ideal, but I could live with him for the remainder of the term, at which time we could throw his ass out.

        It’s a lot to hope for, but I would not be at all surprised if both Pence and ZEGS Ryan are compromised. Just this week, idiot Nunes went to Ryan before going to the White House. Hence, it’s reasonable to assume that Ryan knows a bit more than nothing.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I really couldn’t live with Ryan being preznit. I’m hoping the Freedum Cuckus will overthrow him, and put an even crazier loon in office.

        • boyblue123

          Better if Ryan was in charge. Hes universally hated and would stand no chance of re-election in 2020

        • calliecallie

          Rooting for President Hatch, myself. In the past he has behaved like a rational and reasonable human being. It’s a low bar, I know.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        My thinking is that Pence isn’t going to give the base their red meat, and they’ll never forgive him for replacing Trump. And he’s not going to be able to play pattycake with the hard left the way Trump did.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I think the normal GOP base LOVES Pence because he’s such a Christian nutburger, but I think the Trumpidiots (the ones who never voted before 2016) will give two shits about him. I honestly don’t know which one of them has a better chance of winning in 2020. Will Trump spectacularly implode in scandal? Will his idiot followers care? Will Pence try to outlaw abortion and women voting? Who the hell knows, but stay tuned to Further Adventures in Dumbfuckistan to find out!

          • Carpe Vagenda

            He’s reliable on genital policing issues, but he was also the face of Cantor’s path to citizenship and the alte right kinda despises him over it.

    • The Wanderer

      Hmm.
      If so, it’s going to get Extremely Nasty in the Ovoid Office this coming week.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Ovine Office, cause there are no rats left to fuck.

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      If true, this would be a hadukken to Donny’s down theres

      • The Wanderer
      • Msgr_MΩment

        A haddock served inside a chicken inside a duck?

        • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

          Haha, that too. I was thinking a metaphysical full body spinning taint punch.

    • Shoto

      Flynn’s staring at hard time, so it’s in his interest to cut a deal. That’s my take, anyway.

      • Sardonicuss

        Hard time is maybe an understatement.
        He was denouncing calls of treason before anyone had uttered the word….treason.

        • Shoto

          Earlier today, Malcolm Nance suggested that Flynn would likely be highly motivated to flip / cut a deal. Whatever the case, he knows where a shit-ton of bodies are buried, and I’m guessing he can cause great havoc if he chooses to do so. Moreover, he was kicked out of the WH, so I suspect there’s no love lost.

      • OrG

        He really has no choice. The Army is investigating his shit too.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      What kind of condiment goes best on Schadenfreude?

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I substituted canned clams for the diced ham, and your ham/canned clam salad sandwich was truly disgusting. Thanks for nothing, you monster!

    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      Did you consider subbing A1 in place of Mayo?

      • MynameisBlarney
        • BadKitty904

          I love Daddies sauce. And I mean the condiment, you freeks.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Did you mispell “condom”, or “fundament”, I don’t get it. /s

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Needs disco fries and steak chunks.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’m sure that would be a huge improvement!

    • Rags

      Not enough spam the balance the ham and clam.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Speakin’ o’ sammiches.

    I just had a cajun turkey sub with mayo, colby-jack, ‘maters and ‘nanner peppers.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

      Sounds yummy indeed! :)

    • BadKitty904

      That sounds like one o’ Publix’s beauties!

      • MynameisBlarney

        Nah, it’s from the tiny little Grocery store in my neighborhood.

  • BadKitty904

    In re: the debate below on the virtues and flaws of celery and lettuce as foodstuffs, I’ll toss Samuel Johnson up in there:

    A cucumber should be well sliced, dressed with pepper and vinegar, then thrown out.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Some of like real food, and some of us have to eat real food for medical conditions.

      • BadKitty904

        Personally, I like celery, lettuce, AND cucumbers.

        • Vienna Woods

          Me too! I just wish I could eat any cucumbers aside from the ones I grow myself that are guaranteed super-sweet/burpless. If I eat regular ones, the results are unfortunate.

          • sw19bunnies

            Both english long and ridge varieties?

          • Vienna Woods

            I have trouble with most cucurbits, which means no watermelon or cantaloupe for me (damn). But through experimentation, I found that I can tolerate super-sweet cucumber varieties. However, stores don’t tend to categorize cukes that way, so I trust only in my backyard babies, grown from crazy expensive seed. But no excruciating gas pains? Priceless. I’d suffered for years before I figured out what the culprit was. Now I gorge on them in season and then wait until the next summer to indulge again.

        • Left Coast Tom

          I like celery, but only as a “seasoning” type addition to food. And it has to be cooked – I have a contact allergy to raw celery.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            That’s…unusual. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone being allergic to celery.

          • Left Coast Tom

            Contact allergy…I won’t go in shock, but if I eat raw celery then the inside of my mouth will burn, and I have to be careful handling it or my hands will itch (I have the same issue with carrots!).

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            That’s bizarre, especially since I don’t even think celery and carrots have anything in common. I’m allergic to virtually everything (including newsprint!) but I don’t have a problem with any vegetable.

          • Left Coast Tom

            Whatever it is, it’s something that goes away when they’re cooked. I can have cooked celery and carrots, can’t have raw.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Maybe it’s the chemicals that are sprayed on the vegetables? They also get washed with a special soap, so maybe it’s the soap. Cooking might cause the soap (or whatever) to burn off.

          • Left Coast Tom

            The soap might be a thought…I have to be careful with what soap I buy…Ivory is fine, but some cause similar reddening.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Soaps cause a lot of allergies, and that’s the only reason I can think of that you’d be allergic BEFORE cooking, but not after. If you were allergic to the celery or the carrot, you’d be allergic whether they were cooked or not. Also, I’ve never heard of carrots or celery having any allergic properties (although there probably are a few people in the world who WOULD be allergic to them). Another mystery solved!

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Somebody, somewhere is allergic to everything, usually something ridiculous and senseless.

            My ridiculous and senseless, and actually life-threatening allergy, is to garlic.

            A friend of mine hit the emergency ward over parsley. Parsley!

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I’m not sure I’d want to go on living if I was allergic to garlic.

            I have a gazillion allergies…including newsprint!

    • Shanzgood
      • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

        LOL!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      You know, I used to feel that way about celery until I found out it’s a stone umami bomb. And lettuce is a perfectly adequate dressing delivery system.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        “And lettuce is a perfectly adequate dressing delivery system.”

        I’ve always thought that about popcorn and lobster, both are excellent butter delivery systems.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I have discovered shirataki noodles. Totally revolutionized my ramen with leftovers game.

        • calliecallie

          This is how I feel about bagels. A perfect cream cheese delivery system.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Bagels are also a delicious way to deliver butter. I can’t believe I left bagels off of my list!

        • tinker12

          Still kicking myself for passing up a chance for deep fried butter at the Puyallup Fair a few years ago.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            OK, that might be a little too much butter, and this is coming from someone who thinks you can never have too much butter. I need some sort of delivery system though.

            I had pineapple butter at a biscuit place not long ago, and it was delicious.

      • tinker12

        Sirancha dressing is da bomb. Throw a little siracha in your Hidden Valley Ranch dressing and you will thank me later.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I love sriracha. Ranch not so much. I’m in a caesar phase.

          Also I’ve found a reliable source for gochujang.

  • Up In Smoke O’hontas

    Mama always said the fastest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but my doctor friend insists that it’s actually through the sternum. He’s a doctor of environmental humanities to be fair.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Not up through the ribs?

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        They went through the groin for my dad’s last procedure. Probably just decided to go the scenic route…

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Well, “scenic” for some is “curled up on the floor” for others.

          Just sayin’.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Or the roundabout route

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

      120mm Depleted Uranium Sabot Anti-tank round to the thorax is the fastest.

      • sw19bunnies

        …or a bouquet of flowers.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Um, I was thinking “to the heart” as opposed to “clean through the heart and everything else in a five meter radius and out through the back wall and the building behind it.”

        • sw19bunnies

          you mean, with votes?

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Oh shit! I often forget that.

    • The Wanderer

      Well, up under the diaphragm and up into the heart, but that’s bayonet drill.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      My mama always said the fastest way to a man’s heart is through his penis, but she was a prostitute.*

      *not really

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        You need really tiny votes to get through a penis IMH. I just fumble around the outside of them, which seems to work pretty well.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
  • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

    OT – Boys in my neighborhood, *this* is why Miz Anna is not impressed when you over-rev your import car to get her attention:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2e_WNfQJ63c&index=13&list=PLgA_QpnjZQyxiI0w4WufY2UozFlwsX1Zg

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7v4VxBBGjRA&list=PLgA_QpnjZQyxiI0w4WufY2UozFlwsX1Zg&index=33

  • William
  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Is that…real?

      • MynameisBlarney

        I don’t think so.
        Read the “bio” under spicers pic. lol.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Well, Fox is tweeting that address, so…

          Check the date. And the Trumpenjugend are pasting him, because they didn’t.

          • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

            I admit, I had to take a second look at the date myself. IOKIYAR.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I read it, and now I think the account IS real. WTF?

      • Shoto

        Technically, it’s surreal.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Yep. Check the date.

    • Shoto

      Baghdad Bob Jr.

      • TundraGrifter

        DC’ver Steve.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      2012???

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Yep :)

    • BadKitty904

      I can’t imagine Sphincter growing a spine in the course of one Saturday.

    • dlemex

      Someone should retweet that to the twitler. I wonder if Spicey would get fired before the date was noticed.

    • Snopes Shop

      He’s too stupid to delete his old, damning tweets

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Just a reminder that Lady Justice is on our side.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2ed71c715a60172ede53af5382cdd40883a68df463f2d8c009678625d86493bd.jpg

    Nice legs, also too.

  • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

    A not-so gentle reminder, based on the news posted down thread.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6eSksEp27U&list=RDl6eSksEp27U

  • Liberoid Ron
  • Sardonicuss

    This Flynn story has legs! Legs I tells ya!

  • sw19bunnies

    Today in “Collateral Damage”
    https://twitter.com/somali_hazeus/status/845726973246693377

    Fuck this for a game of soldiers, I’m off to do some therapeutic housepainting….

    • Liberoid Ron

      If you run out I could use some help with the front porch and the fascia boards.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Sardonicuss

      Well who peed in your cereal Gary.
      Kerry’s concern may have seemed worthless..but it was concern.
      The Trump admins only concern is how fast can the dissidents and journos be knocked off before they talk.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        I’ll bet the safe houses in Moscow are full up these days …

  • TundraGrifter

    That looks like a lot more work than just opening a can of deviled ham.

    Personally, I think the only people who need to know how to cook are people who eat.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Or a can of anything rhyming with hams.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        YOU MONSTER!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Are you alluding to something rhyming with canned hams? EVIL!!111!!!,1,1!!1!!

      • TundraGrifter

        Wasn’t it Paul Theroux who came up with the theory that particularly tinned product is so popular in the South Seas because it tastes like people?

    • BadKitty904

      A deviled ham sammich, with good mustard and a hard-boiled egg sliced up on it, is pretty damn tasty.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I never did like deviled ham.
        It looked to much like cat food to me.

        • BadKitty904

          Yes? And?

          • MynameisBlarney

            What?
            Oh….nothin…

    • calliecallie

      OMG I love deviled ham so much. Makes me think of my dad.

  • Shoto
  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    So, you think you might like a little sandwich porn? There is a sandwich in Charleston SC that is so freaking delicious it will change your life. It resides at a place called The Tattoed Moose. They have been on the Food Network, and they are known for their Duck Confit sandwich, but I have never even tried the duck, because the pork belly sandwich is so perfect, I don’t want to sully its memory. Photos 5 through 7 are particulary racy.

    A review: Lucky #1 bbq pork belly with kimchi, pickles, wasabi & chili sauce plus bleu cheese bacon slaw. Holy crap it’s amazing!!!

    I don’t think the pork is actually barbecued! Also I don’t think it has bleu cheese bacon slaw on it. Definitely no canned clams on it, you monster.

    Description of their sandwich from menu: Seared pork belly topped with homemade kimchi, cucumbers, crispy onions, cilantro, wasabi mayo, & sweet red chili sauce on a toasted roll.

    https://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/tattooed-moose-charleston?select=g6uSs7nfi2mpMqtOGPiY2Q&menu-item=lucky-1-sub

    • MynameisBlarney

      BRB…
      Goin’ to Charleston.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’d go more often, but the place is always packed. They opened a second restaurant on John’s Island, but I don’t think it’s as good as the original.

    • Hutch

      Wow! On my next trip through SC, I will be there!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Their duck fat fries are insanely good too. They started out as a bar with the idea to sell a few sandwiches, meanwhile the place is packed every day with people looking for sammiches. I never go there to drink, just to eat.

        • Hutch

          I imagine it will be worth waiting in line. Yum!

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Oh, most definitely. I find if I get there at 11AM I usually get a table, and don’t have to wait on much of a line. After that, you usually have to wait a while for a table.

        • MynameisBlarney

          We have a restaurant here that serves fries like that.
          They make their own brats and knocks there, along with other sausages.
          But that place is soooooo fucking expensive, I’ve only ever been there once.
          For 3 people at lunch the bill was 50 bucks, not including the tip.

          Not saying it wasn’t worth it, because the brats were fantastic, just too damned expensive for my broke ass.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            This place isn’t exactly cheap, but I think the Lucky #1 sub is $11. It is insanely good though.

  • MynameisBlarney

    The AHCA of 2017.

    https://imgur.com/oBvDCfu

  • Lizzietish81

    So because I was a backer for the new MST3k I got a bunch of stuff, including a T shirt. Alas, crew necks and I don’t agree, so when Suttree asked for a shirt last night I threw it to him and he LOOOOOVES it.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/12e694728da085b9e4008eeddc5477e44b97a49e2ba762ca9173e91572427058.jpg

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

      He’s a lucky man, in more ways than one. :)

      • MynameisBlarney

        INORITE!?!

        Lookit that stuffed penguin!

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

          Right! XD

        • Suttree

          Lizzie got me the penguin pillow because I was crushing the hedgehog stuffie that she also got me. I now have Moose, Hedgehog, Lobstah, and Kitteh from Lizzie. I have something to cuddle with during the week.

    • Vienna Woods

      You two are so cute.

      • Suttree

        She makes me sooooooo happy!

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Aren’t they?

        • Suttree

          We are 14 months together. I swore I was going to stop counting at 1 year. But every day it gets betterer!

    • Suttree

      BTW: You cannot see it in the picture, but there is a stuffed kitty on my right shoulder.

      • janecita

        My son has a penguin exactly like that one:-)

        • Suttree

          :))))))))) Lizzie doesn’t have couch pillows. So she bought me this as a gift to lay my head on while she games. I usually use her lap for a pillow. :)

          • janecita

            That woman is a keeper! You are a lucky guy.

          • Suttree

            I want to cook for her forever!

          • SeeTrain65

            As a certain Cincinnati baseball broadcaster likes to say, “Ain’t love grand?”

    • Carpe Vagenda

      And it’s JOEL.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

        Can’t we all just get along? j/k

        Joel said “Hi” to me on the youTube Turkey Day marathon in 2015! :D

        • Suttree

          Whoa! Ain’t you somethin’ special! :0

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            It was awesome “Hi Anna”, to quoth the Great One. XD

          • Suttree

            Yay! I can’t wait until the 14th!

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I was never a Mike girl, really, and then I found out he was kind of a wingnut.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            I know, I try not to let that affect my enjoyment of the show. I don’t think Mike is any too fond of folks like me, as well.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Redheads? 🤔🙄

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            Queer. I don’t know, but I get the impression from him.

          • Liberoid Ron

            Probably the only example known to man of a funny conservative.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            No, Dana Carvey was funny, and Christopher Buckley is a hoot.

    • Liberoid Ron

      Whattaya think, sirs?

  • Mary Sandoras
    • Lord Jim

      I LITERALLY LOL’ed!

  • VirginiaLady

    The tuna looks good. Needs a hardboiled egg too, and instead of Tobasco try Maggi Sweet Chili Sauce. Also too sweet paprika. Apply to hot buttered toast. Enjoy.

  • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

    Another great song that puts everything into perspective.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aH1OVi2F6sU&list=RDaH1OVi2F6sU

  • Fartknocker

    The last time I asked Mrs. Fartknocker to make me sammich she informed that she’s not my mom, my mom hasn’t made a sammich for fee since I was 7, and if you ask me again I’m gonna toss your ass out because I’ve given you more than any other woman so you should make me a sammich.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I searched until I found low-sodium cold cuts and cheese and mustard the beleaguered husband can eat and multi-grain bread mushy enough for the beleaguered husband’s regrettable midwestern taste, so I order it all and let him make his own sammiches.

      • Fartknocker

        Mrs. Fartknocker loves her a toasted bagel with a schmear of cream cheese mixed with some Sriracha sauce, really thin roast beef and a fried egg.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

          Damn that sounds good!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I love Mrs. Fartknocker.

  • Sardonicuss

    So, this is two good days in a row out of the last 60+ days of abject horror.
    Imma skeered….
    * Sorry, the massive march days were good too….but this feels different…..like winning.

    • Liberoid Ron

      Maybe not winning quite yet, but definitely pulling ahead.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    WONKETTE UNDERMINES AMERICAN WORKPLACE PRODUCTIVITY https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cd6a8b6f152fbe01343f2b46459684c951d7ff54cad0137323a0ff7caba1c008.jpg

    WHY DOES WONKETTE HATE AMERICA?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      C’mon, we all know unicorns can’t use box cutters, clamps, or Exacto blades!

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        *Kiri squints his eyes and makes his craft knife rise a few inches above the counter and spin in mid-air*

        Mythical critters laugh at your puny physics!

        • Lord Jim

          I was gonna ask if you’d ever been ridden by a virgin, but then I thought “I hear those horns are REALLY sharp”. XD

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            In Russian Amerika, unicorn ride you!

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      Because it elected Trump!

      Oh waits.

      • Sardonicuss

        Yes. I think that was covered in the post entitled: “Fuck You America”..or something.

    • Fartknocker

      That looks the desk of muslin terrierist! Also, you need to water the plants.

      • Mary Sandoras

        LOL…good eye.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Too busy wonking, obvs.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        That dieffenbachia probably needs more light.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Sandwich porn –
    Mike’s Duck Confit Club from the Tattoed Moose:
    “It’s said to be the best sandwich ever made! A triple decker filled with duck confit, applewood smoked bacon, & hickory smoked cheddar topped with garlic aioli, lettuce, tomato, & red onion on sweet Hawaiian bread.”

    https://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/tattooed-moose-charleston?select=Yj4AiYQ7MWWuO44LH7fyPQ&reviewid=CDeGfKPa5eT0AAl1NOCwPQ

    • MynameisBlarney

      Sweet pole dancin’ CHROIST!

      WANT!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      So, wait. A dark-meat-duck slow-cooked in duck fat blt melt with mayo? And then you chase your gall bladder around the room?

      • Hutch

        LOL! What an image!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Only after you’ve had their duck fat fries!

        BASKET OF DUCK FAT FRIES
        Duck fat fries served with a housemade garlic aioili.
        basket $5.50 / side $2.75

        ROASTED GARLIC &
        BLEU CHEESE FRIES
        $9.00
        Duck fat fries topped with decadent bleu cheese fondue sauce & a bulb of slow- roasted garlic confit.

        DUCK FAT FRIES & GRAVY
        $6.50
        Duck fat fries served with a big ol’ bowl of our duck gravy!

        • Carpe Vagenda

          OK, I would crawl across gravel for the bleu cheese version. Garlic confit is my kryptonite.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            There’s another place in Charleston (Little Jack’s Tavern) that has the best burgers and fries I’ve ever had. Their aioli is quite delicious.

            Anything with garlic is delicious!

    • i don’t love that sweet bread from the islands. sue me, but i don’t. too sweet.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Well, then, I’ll see you in COURT!!!!

        Full disclosure: I’ve never actually eaten that sandwich, even though it has been featured on the Food Network. I prefer the pork belly sandwich on the toated roll. OMG, it is so delicious.

    • The Flaming Carrot

      It sounds like it would be great on dark rye.

    • Why, yes. Yes, I would eat that.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Is this our open thread? We just lost 2-0 to fucking Bulgary for the 2018 qualification. Last year Johan Cruijff died and we were in shock.

    Today we learned, total football died.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42M_dCtIHaU

    • calliecallie

      Sorry for your loss. On all counts.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Total football died years ago. I hate to say this, because you are a very good person, but your football team is a bunch of thugs.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Are you American? Because your perceptiveness would be remarkable. We are not the team we were in the 90’s/20’s. Our last moment of grandeur was beating spain in 2014 5 to 1 but furthermore it’s been shite.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I was appalled by their tactics in the South Africa World Cup. And the Dutch team owes Mexico a huge apology for what happened in Brazil. Worst. Dive. Ever. And yes, I am an American. Also a girl.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            I agree on the SA WC. The Dive of Robben in 2014 not so much. The Mexicans tried that just as much on us. Fair play? not so much but it was foul play by both. Let’s remember Orange the way it once was: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdBzKx8ktDE

          • WomanInThePersistence

            This is lovely. I will never be sad when people score against Argentina, But that was the most depressing WC, for us USAers. Although I still love Zidane.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Oh only if we could have a team with bergkamp, Kluivert, De boer brothers once again.

            Little secret: Justin Kluivert, yes his son is doing very well at Ajax. YOu might just see a new mechanica Oranga once again.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Do you mind if I ask why you hang out here? Please understand that I’m delighted you do, I am curious, though. And of course, it reallyIs none of my business.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            My grandmother married a Canadian soldier. (after WW2) Through him I met a lot of Canadian and American people Soldiers mostly. As a young boy I became intrigued with the America’s. In a way I started to adore you. I watched so many war movies, some Dutch, some American but I always felt some sort of brotherhood. the more I grew up, the more I became European but my love for Americans always remained.

            Today, things are different. The wall is not there anymore, America is in no way longer leading in any way as the leader of the free world. We and the scandinavians are the free world. We rule in happiness, wealth, social security etc.

            But we have problems. There is still so much we worry about. Things we can’t work out ourselves. And every now and then we lift out heads to the sky and silenty sing.. Oh say can you see? By the dawn’s early light?,

            And Then we remember the USA of Washington, Eisenhower and Obama.

            So why am I here? because you still inspire us. Make no mistake, when we make fun of you, it is because we are scared to lose a leader.

            And wel, The wonk is a good place to have some liberal chatter. It’s no accident all of a sudden multiple dutchmen found their ways to the wonk.

            To sum it up. I love the US. Worked for several American start ups and always loved your point of view in life even if I did not agree.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            Thank you for this. I was once a proud citizen, and I still hope we can rebuild some American greatness.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        By the way this is why I love Americans so much. You posted something that might offend me (it didn’t) but you automatically add that I am a very good person. Dutch people would never do such a thing. They would just bury you with the insult and when confronted about it tell you to stop being a pussy. We should make a hybrid of both reactions

        • WomanInThePersistence

          We should. Heaven knows that I am looking for something positive about my country right now.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Have you considered a military takeover of Belgium? Their performance today notwithstanding, they are lousy with talent.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Did that once, still suffering from keeping Limburg and Brabant. So no thank you.

  • Michael R
  • Bill D. Burger

    ♪♪Trumpcare’s gonna’ pass, this I know
    Republican Jesus told me so
    The House to Him now belongs
    Dems are weak and Paul is strong♪♪

    Uhhh…..No!

    RELIGION
    Pat Robertson prophecy fail: ‘We’re all going to rejoice’ after Trump’s great healthcare victory

    BySky Palma
    Posted on March 25, 2017

    This Tuesday, one day before the GOP’s American Health Care Act bill went down in flames, Pat Robertson declared on the 700 Club that the bill designed to repeal and replace Obamacare “is going to pass” and Trump and Republicans will soon be celebrating a victory.
    He had a word of prophecy.
    “I have a prediction to make,” Robertson started out.
    “The healthcare bill is going to pass; it’s getting modified, the Freedom Caucus is going to get what they’re asking for… But my prediction is it’s going to pass. They’re going to give Trump a victory, it’s going to go through the Senate and we’re all going to rejoice that we’re going to pay less on health care.”]

    ManO’Man that old fucker is a freakin’ joke.

    http://static.fjcdn.com/gifs/Pat_7170da_240360.gif https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a96e102b3484048db840a6c728f544eafd71df125701f47774a6450030e288da.gif

    • William
    • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

      Yeah, no, he’s just a grifty grifter who grifts. Beware false prophets, friends!

      • Lord Jim

        Deuteronomy 18

        21 You may say to yourself, “How can we recognize a word that the Lord has not spoken?” 22 If a prophet speaks in the name of the Lord but the thing does not take place or prove true, it is a word that the Lord has not spoken. The prophet has spoken it presumptuously; do not be frightened by it.

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Ah, he’s just a prognostitute.

  • Robert James Nugent

    Tuna with mustard powder is an
    abomination.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    I has a sad. RUMINT is Flynn done flipped, and I had my money on Carter Page.

    • Sardonicuss

      You should have bet a wheel or a win, place, show.
      They could all still turn rat to implicate the big rotting fishes on top.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Sure, I just add a little mustard, a little horseradish, chopped dill pickles instead of relish, capers are nice, egg also too never hurts, a little vinegar (oh, she’s got lemon juice so never mind) but it’s all a big yum!

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Ha ha, I replied to not the right one. See mustard powder below :0

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Where did you did see this?!

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        In the interwebs.

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          Well that narrow it down. Fine, I’ll do my own research.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          I’ve read it several places now- this rumor is going viral. Even if he hasn’t, the damage is done.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
      • Zippy W Pinhead

        interestingly, the rumors flying around today are that he already has

  • Come here a minute
  • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBFHT2HeFM0&index=2&list=RDaH1OVi2F6sU

    “Miraculous you call it babe
    You ain’t seen nothing yet
    They’ve got Pepsi in the Andes
    McDonalds in Tibet”

  • Shoto
  • Bill D. Burger

    Bannon charm offensive didn’t work on the Tea Potty Caucus. Strange, I know!

    [ House Republican completely shuts down Steve Bannon after being told they had ‘no choice’ in Trumpcare vote
    • Sonam Sheth
    2hrs ago

    A few days before the American Health Care Act, the Republican replacement bill for the Affordable Care Act, was pulled from the floor of the House of Representatives, House Republicans had a sharp rebuke for chief White House strategist Steve Bannon when he met with them at the White House, according to a report from Axios.
    The conversation started off on the wrong foot, with Bannon adopting a tone the report characterized as authoritative.
    “Guys, look. This is not a discussion. This is not a debate. You have no choice but to vote for this bill,” Bannon reportedly said to members of the ultra-conservative House Freedom Caucus.
    But those in the Freedom Caucus weren’t buying into Bannon’s opening gambit. ” You know, the last time someone ordered me to something, I was 18 years old. And it was my daddy. And by God I didn’t listen to him, either,” said one member of the caucus.]

    http://www.businessinsider.com/house-republican-freedom-caucus-shuts-down-steve-bannon-trumpcare-2017-3

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C5PRvfhXAAA-2od.jpg:large

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      HAhahahahahaha! What an moran.

      • Sardonicuss

        Bannon thought he had the dictatorship locked down. Turns out, there were cats left to be herded.

    • Stulexington

      It’s almost like tribalism only goes so far.

    • redarmyzombie

      Wow. How bad of an asshole do you have to be to make the Freedom Caucus look good…

  • A_Changeling

    Oh, now I understand this thing about making sandwiches. I didn’t understand why anybody would need sandwiches made for them, because I thought it meant 1) butter it 2) put something on top. I see you have a richer sandwich culture than us.
    This is how my dad makes a sandwich: Take an entire rye bread. Slice in half. Butter and slice emmental on top.
    http://www.vastavalo.net/albums/userpics/10728/normal_ruisleipa.jpg

  • Rick Hill

    As our thoughts are on sandwiches, let’s have a moment of silence for The brown bag, a sub shop that used to be located near the NTC in San Diego….Best subs anywhere.

  • Mary Sandoras
    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

      Awwwws! Cuteness overload! :D

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Aaargh! I need insulin!

  • Come here a minute
    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

      Mine – Crunchy Peanut Butter, local Honey, good whole grain bread – the natural Sports Bar.

  • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gv-yZ6sVeyw&index=3&list=RDaH1O

    More Roger Waters to keep that fire in your bellies.

    • Sardonicuss

      A day of High Hopes..
      https://youtu.be/7jMlFXouPk8

      • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

        Damn, you’ve got me on a loop now! ;)

        • Sardonicuss

          Any time I see two Water’s posts, I have to respond with a Gilmore. Reflexive.

          • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

            Love them both, so no harm/no foul! Gilmore’s guitar playing is like angel’s wings to me.

          • Sardonicuss

            He’s the only one of two I have actually met…and is also responsible for a couple of near religious experiences for me live…and I really love that song and album in particular.

          • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

            Great song great album. You just made me insanely jealous of you having met one of the handful of musicians I consider near gods.

          • Sardonicuss

            Ha! I met him and Clapton within 2 years? in the same city at back stage deals.
            I thought at the time, well…I guess I will be meeting all the guitar gods I worship eventually!

  • Shibusa
  • gregormendel

    Satan created bell pepper.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I like Satan – did he also create limes?..

      • Suttree

        And cilantro.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        No, but he did put them in the coconut

        • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

          Get outta my head! There’s no room.

    • Suttree

      Satan also created habaneros. I like Satan!

    • anon_the_great

      Screw you. Gently. But yer still wrong

      • Suttree

        I use them in place in a mirepoix for certain dishes.

    • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

      Satan created all the good things. God created humans, so that’s a huge black mark against that dude.

      • Who is this God person anyways?

        • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

          Some self-important narcissist who wants us all to sing his name for eternity. What a jerk!

          • Hutch

            And we owe him money.

    • MynameisBlarney

      SACRILEGE!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      well, they’re certainly not peas

      • Suttree

        Burn!

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      Bell peppers are colorful, but otherwise indefensible.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Been in the mountains hiking so I’m catching up. When Mrs.Joe became wheelchair bound it was either take out every day or I had to learn to cook. So I started taking classes and have become comfortable with a stove. Love these recipes. I will adapt one to chicken, something MrsJ loves. Thanks.

  • Suttree

    So, for anyone that needs a kitty fix. This will have you curling up with a pillow! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNxlJknW26w

    • Shucky Ducky

      Yeah, um, I caught crotch kitties from a public toilet seat.

      • Suttree

        Those were crotch crawfish!

  • Nounverb911
  • Serai 1
    • Lord Jim

      #presidentinexile

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

      LMFAO indeed!

  • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

    We can always hope, right?
    This song was first performed in Berlin after the wall came down, unless I am mistaken.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbeLFG6Lglo&index=4&list=RDaH1OVi2F6sU

  • janecita
    • Serai 1

      Yet another screed about how the Oldz Roont Evrthang OMG!!! There were books like that in the 70’s about the Oldz who had ruined the environment and only loved war. It never ends.

      • janecita

        The tittle is funny though. Yes, in some years there will be books about us, Gen Xers, and how we are destroying the world.

        • Serai 1

          You better hope so.

  • Rick Hill

    This is like the Renaissance era for comedy. Thanks, Obama
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aDW7g0N_460s.jpg

    • negotechoh

      <- I was paid 104000 bucks previous year by doing an internet based work as well as I was able to do it by w­orking in my own time f­o­r quite a few hours on a daily basis. I applied job opportunity I came across online and so I am delighted that I was manage to make such decent earnings. It's really newbie-friendly and I am so grateful that I discovered out regarding it. Look out for what I do. ➤➤➤➤ http://url4.uk/HsoS0

      • memzilla Ω

        Sorry, we’re not interested unless you’re making 97$ and hour and are driving a Land Rover Range Rover. COME BACK LORI ALL IS FORGIVEN lol.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          And bring Brad back with you!

    • Kathleengbutler

      Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !dq125c:
      On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
      !dq125c:
      ➽➽
      ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs415DirectWayGetPaid$97/Hour ★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫★★★✫::::::!dq125c:….,….

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    In the shop today: a really cool Indonesian batik!

    Jan has the fabric taped in place temporarily while she stitches it to the backing board with fine nylon monofilament thread. This is tedious work!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e62a919bdf74e21ae8362ce8c090549c8111f9d598f081a514bce0f54c6df55f.jpg

    The client was in the neighborhood and dropped by, so we stacked up all the unfinished elements to show him how the finished product will appear. The frame is a dark brown ornate reverse slope, with a single mat from burgundy linen board with a standard bevel.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bdf997a70883274388941a2566decb8d6d84c0344a2a4814d2ca665cd7a11229.jpg

    • janecita

      That is absolutely beautiful!

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        I see more interesting and exotic items in Corvallis than I have elsewhere in my career. Pretty sophisticated for a little valley farm town!

        • Liberoid Ron

          You never know what you’ll find, or where.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I’ve been FRAMED!!!

      Yeah, I’ll show myself out.

    • Liberoid Ron

      I really like that frame – it has a sort of retro-industrial look that highlights the batik work. Gorgeous!

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • Kiri the Unicorn

      #1 is a subversive activity and will be reported to the authorities.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Especially if you let it be known that you have actually finished the book.

    • A_Changeling

      Trump trolling seems to have become a global pastime.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        It’s so easy …. so why not?

      • Serai 1

        My dad says that on the news broadcasts in Spain, it’s becoming commonplace to follow Trump stories with that clip of Madonna yelling FUCK YOU at him. They really love that clip.

    • Liberoid Ron

      Is this any way to run an airline? Survey says, yes.

    • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

      Wouldn’t it be ironic if the electronics ban led to more and more people interacting in international flights, thus developing empathy for one another as individuals and eventually as cultures, ultimately leading to world peace?

      (Using ironic in the Morrisette sense of the word, of course.)

  • chascates

    In a pinch you could stuff celery with this but I imagine I would eat it right out of the bowl.

  • Nounverb911
    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Didn’t the Obamas move into that neighborhood? I don’t see any complaints about their residence ….

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Trump clan moves in…there goes the fucking neighborhood. They are as bad as the Palin clan. Worse.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        The only difference? No Bartles & James empties strewn on the streets.

    • Liberoid Ron

      Entitled much, you plagiarising twunt?

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • Isaac Heston

      Flowers crack pavement. Fuck fear.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba
      • Liberoid Ron

        There’ll always be an England.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        I’ve listened to the acoustic guitar player who does nothing but Beatles. I’ve seen him two or three times in the Westminster tube station near the loos. Always awesome.

        Bet he’s there as well. Londoners lived through the Battle of Britain, and more recently the IRA. They’re not afraid of much.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Slightly related – I once heard a young woman singing and playing guitar in the NYC subway. I thought she was really talented. She was Tracy Chapman.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            That is wicked cool. I’d freak.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I saw Tracy Chapman BEFORE she was Tracy Chapman. I just thought she was really talented. I almost offered to be her manager, but realized I didn’t know how to do that.

            With Jodie Foster, I didn’t actually believe it was her. I thought “no way would JF be riding the subway, but damn, that woman looks EXACTLY like her.”

    • Serai 1

      Keep your chin up and HAVE SOME TEA, DAMMIT.

  • Nounverb911

    Donnie played his 10th round of golf as preznit today…
    https://twitter.com/jaketapper/status/845744274662703109

  • MynameisBlarney

    Ok…since other folks are posting car pr0nz, I’m gonna too.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXgWWNJVdYA

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω
      • MynameisBlarney

        Those little bastards were fast as fuck!

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          Why yes, yes it was. Absolutely the most fun car I’ve ever had.

          • MynameisBlarney
          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            Learned to drive in a ’76 Corolla wagon nicknamed “White Trash”

          • Mary Sandoras

            I learned to drive in a classic cherried out chevy. 3 on the column stick shift.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            Three on the tree! Friends had old Willys Jeeps like that!

          • Liberoid Ron

            I learned to drive in a three-on-the-tree Maverick. It was foresightful because I had the same shifter in my 57 Ford wagon and the 40 LaSalle Series 52 I bought for the ex’s 40th birthday.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            We had a green one when I was 11-12.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            I was lucky …. had a programming job while in school. Paid all the bills and allowed me to buy a Thunder Bunny.

            Lots of fun time in that car, though not a lot of room in the back seat. Made for interesting contortions …

          • Mary Sandoras

            Error 403? What kind of car?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Datsun 210 Hatchback.

      • Truck Fump

        My car in college, no, wait. I didn’t go to college. My car in High School/Army. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/839643d74cc4b68306caf6ae8163bf6829c3050cbaa58722fd310a896b30431c.jpg

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          Did you keep a case of STP in the back to keep it from burning too much oil? Brother had a ’74 ….

      • Liberoid Ron

        Almost bought one for Production A rally, but I found the gearshift too sloppy, so I went for a Colt instead, with its 8-speed transmission. This was even the colour! (I need to digitise my old pictures, if I can ever figure out where they all went.) http://i.imgur.com/dmTVwc7.jpg

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          Gearbox was super mushy. It took a while to get used to it.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

      Nice! I love the Stratos. :)

      • MynameisBlarney

        Me too…
        Sexy rally car….or SEXIEST rally car?

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

          Yes! :D

          I got to go to the Pikes Peak Hill Climb in ’03. Colin McRae raced that one. :)

        • David Chaillou

          There is only one car and it is the 1966 Ford GT40 Mk.II.

          • MynameisBlarney

            But it ain’t no Rally Car!

            But yes, it is sexy also, too.

    • Lord Jim
      • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

        Stylish! :)

        My fave: Ferrari 360 Modena

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e47f43fc76670a47a40bc3f2d6f4098a226babf48d39dfe7a4c5079a01ac0f6b.jpg

        Not the biggest, the fastest, or the most expensive, but I love the shape and the F1-style gearbox.

        • Liberoid Ron
          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema
          • Liberoid Ron

            The 246 Dino. Progenitor of all the mid-engined Ferraris since. So very tasty – and, BTW, the direct ancestor of that Stratos!

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            Wow, I didn’t know that! :D

          • Liberoid Ron

            Yup. Transverse four-cam V6. It ended up in Ferraris, Lancias and even Fiats.But it was overshadowed by all those high-winding V12s.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            Sweet! I love learning about cars, racing-and otherwise. I still have my interest in military tech, and all my model kits and such, but I’ve been looking at racing cars lately, just to be non-violent but still amazing technology and history.

          • Liberoid Ron

            Race cars are fun because it’s genuine bleeding-edge technology, especially F1. And that’s true as far back as one might care to go. A particular favourite of mine is Walter Christie’s 1905 transverse FWD racer, an idea 54 years ahead of its time… and ultimately the progenitor of EVERY Soviet tank design from 1930 on.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            This one I know, because of the Soviet tank connection. :)

          • Liberoid Ron

            Am I surprised? I am not.

          • CripesAmighty
          • Liberoid Ron

            Perhaps some day you’ll meet an unattached one and it’ll be love at first sight… damn, so many wonderful front-engined supercars…

          • CripesAmighty

            The Mistral is special. Something about that airy, yet rakish greenhouse, delicate detailing on that muscular stance (never mind the wail from that 3.7 twincam L6). Maybe not everybody’s cup of tea, but Frua.. Just, mmmmm.

          • Liberoid Ron

            You get the same sort of look in an ISO Grifo, and a Lamborghini Miura. If I were feeling more chipper I’d look it up to see if the same shop designed them.

          • CripesAmighty

            Miura was by Marcello Gandini at Bertone; ISO was, guess who– Giugiaro, also at Bertone when he penned the breathtaking Alfa Giulia Sprint.
            Mistral was by Pietro Frua at–Frua. You’ll notice a strong familial resemblance with the AC 428 by Frua–but the proportions were all fucked up.

          • Liberoid Ron

            There’s still a resemblance. Perhaps that was simply ‘the style’ for a while.
            I’ve noticed over the years that there are designs that work perfectly, at one and only one set of proportions. Alter them to fit a slightly different planform and they can wind up hideous. There’ve been some exquisite show cars that have had to be altered by just a few inches (usually in height) and turned out quite dreadful. And I wish I could remember what the prime example of that was.

          • CripesAmighty

            Yup. to my eye, anyway, ’60s Italian design was the zenith, and it all went to pot when Gandini went nuts with the Countach (which was stunning in its own way). But since, everybody’s been churning out stuff that resembles nothing so much as the prints on Calvin’s Lucky Rocketship Underpants. Bleagh.
            *exception: Under the tutelage of Ferrari, Maserati’s recaptured those classic proportions quite nicely throughout the range; and Alfa’s 4c gets back to the best of growly mid-engine (246/308) simplicity, so chalk one up for Pininfarina, and the in-house kids at Alfa, but Bertone’s been shitting the bed for a while, now.

          • CripesAmighty

            Yup. My old 308s paw-paw.

          • CripesAmighty

            Ahh, the 246. Lissapatton, who posts over at RS a good bit, has one.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            I’ve chatted with her a bit. A woman of taste.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Very posh!

      • Liberoid Ron

        The ex and I seriously thought about getting a J, back when they were relatively affordable. Ye gods, that was a long time ago.

    • CripesAmighty

      Sold this one in 2010, patting myself furiously on the back for realizing $700 profit (throws rope over tree in yard) https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/88f0bc3fa1babd8cd23555793a8c597055eb4ace0bfeb3bd12749defa0ed06b6.jpg

    • Liberoid Ron

      When I Win The Lottery, a Stratos is on my short list of must-haves.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Same here…

  • Rachel Book Harlot
    • Sardonicuss

      Is that real?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Yeah. It’s just about Obama.

        • Sardonicuss

          Oh figures.
          Wouldn’t be cool though if they all just started NGAF?
          “This guy is going down anyway so what the fuck?”

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I think the Freedom Caucus is close.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

        What Carpe said – check the datestamp.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      When bitchy tweets come back to haunt you, doughboy edition.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        I can’t even take it. These people are a freaking joke.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson
      • Rachel Book Harlot

        When I see this, I’m reminded of how Bamz would reportedly stay up until the wee hours reading reports.

        • shivaskeeper

          Not just reading them. Making notes in the margins for follow up questions.

    • Jonny On Maui

      That’s got to be close to the stupidest thing to fall outta his facehole.

    • Panika MCD

      MEOW!

  • MynameisBlarney

    If yer bored, this is a decent vidja about Group B Rally.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imXk8u-reUQ

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • Liberoid Ron

      Please be correct.
      Please be correct.
      PLEASE be correct…

    • Sardonicuss

      Legs I tells ya!

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Now I’m hiding in Honduras
      I’m a desperate man
      Send lawyers, guns and money
      The shit has hit the fan

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Just about to post this. Popped up on my playlist driving home from the store. https://youtu.be/NGhd53hV0Z0

      • Villago Delenda Est

        When I was in JTF Bravo at Palmerola AB, Honduras, in 1985, this was the unofficial unit anthem…as suggested bye the unit commander, a full colonel.

    • Panika MCD

      isn’t that what our Wonkette was assuming yesterday?

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Looks like it has hit the mainstream. Sunday morning shows should be interesting.

        Melania: You still have time …. JFK is 40 minutes from midtown. Go now.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Yes, Evan’s piece. Another reason I get my fake news from Wonkette.

    • Thaumaturgist

      I figured Flynn flipped when Manafort, Stone and Page all offered their dog and pony show to Devin Nunes.

      • Sardonicuss

        …but now..Nunnuts himself is compromised.
        This week is going to be Christmas come early ya’ll !!

  • Sardonicuss

    So, watched Dave Chapelle’s new thing (really old thing he pulled out and sold for $60 million to Netflix) last night.
    I liked it…but I love Chapelle since I saw him live in the 90’s.
    Really tight set, no wasted words…turns on a dime.
    Two more to show apparently. Can’t wait.
    * Ducks and runs because apparently some are mad at him…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Not in the least. Yesterday we were just getting started:

    https://twitter.com/amjoyshow/status/845638394592055297

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Jonny On Maui

      Consistency…

    • Panika MCD

      ’cause he bitched about Bamz going to golf clubs to play golf.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I almost posted this. Can you believe this crap…oh, right.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    So the FauxTUS 45* presidency now is captive of the 30 or so Congressderps of the Jackass Caucus? Lol. Wait until the special interest guys start them rolling over him over taxes.

    • shivaskeeper

      That makes him the same as Pres Obama. The freedom caucus has been refusing to compromise since they got elected.

      So he gets that one point as the same.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Getting more and more curious!

    [Has the first rat jumped the ship? Is it possible that Flynn makes or has made a deal with FBI?

    By restondem
    Saturday Mar 25, 2017 · 3:04 PM EDT

    https://twitter.com/juliettekayyem/status/845673079611187204

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2017/3/25/1647250/-Has-the-first-rat-jumped-the-ship-Is-it-possible-that-Flynn-makes-or-has-made-a-deal-with-FBI

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • OrG

      Umm… You have to be a citizen to vote,no?

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        And when they become citizens they’ll have everything they need. Not seeing a downside.

        • OrG

          Well, it would feed into the “illegal voter” hysteria.

          • Resistance Fighter Callyson

            Meh…they’re going to roll with that trope regardless. Saw an article the other day (may have been in the NYT, can’t remember now) that said the Reeps are rolling with the line that we need voter suppression laws because of the perception that voter fraud exists. Which would not exist if they hadn’t, you know, spread the lie that it is a problem in the first place FFS.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Yeah, but giving voter registration forms to people who are new to the country, who may or may not be proficient in written English, and who you know won’t be eligible to vote for 5 years is just going to fuel that perception. Giving them forms/info about the Constitution and naturalization process would have been a better move.
            Not to mention that if a refugee misunderstands and tries to submit it, you could be creating legal problems for them.

          • Resistance Fighter Callyson

            Hmm…maybe you’re right. I still like the idea of planting the thought of voting into their heads, though.

            Or, as I said in response to another Wonker:

            One of my groups holds a voter registration drive right outside the monthly naturalization services here. I’ve heard they’re quite successful. Maybe that would work better?

          • ariel_gee_398

            Definitely. I think that’s a less risky way to encourage good citizenship.

        • Panika MCD

          generally it takes a while for them to become citizens once they’re here. but because most of the stuff that comes out of legislative committees on elections is stuff like “what various election forms are gonna look like”, by the time they can legally send these in they’ll not be the correct form anymore.

          • Resistance Fighter Callyson

            Aw, crap.

            One of my groups holds a voter registration drive right outside the monthly naturalization services here. I’ve heard they’re quite successful. Maybe that would work better?

          • Panika MCD

            that would work much better because you know the people coming out will be eligible to vote!

    • Jennifer R

      Love it.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

      Nice! Saved.

      I have Steve McQueen’s “Le Mans” on DVD.

      • MynameisBlarney

        That era was when my dad was building race cars for Holmann & Moody.
        He loves telling the story about how they built a Mustang Fastback for an American living in Germany that wanted a car to blow all the Porsches doors off.

        • yyyaz

          One of your dad’s Mustangs wasn’t loose on Central in Phoenix in 1970 was it???? Hideous factory metallic pea-green fastback with about 600hp?

          • MynameisBlarney

            You talking about that green one?

          • yyyaz

            Oh yeah. Found out real quick it was out of our league. And we stomped 90% of whatever we lined up with.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I doubt it was one of my dads.
            Maybe one of Carrol Shelby’s though.

          • yyyaz

            It wasn’t a Shelby, just a “factory” Mustang GT, with a Holmann & Moody 427FE stuffed in it.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Could have been an engine they built and shipped out.
            They did a lot of that apparently.

          • pterrydactyl
          • MynameisBlarney

            Remember those badass Holmann & Moody racing jackets we had when we were kids?
            I’d LOVE to have one of those. Except…bigger, of course.

          • pterrydactyl

            YES! & Budweiser, um, (pants).

          • MynameisBlarney

            I had one of those Budweiser Welding caps that I…uh…liberated from the trailer at the lake for years and years.
            It finally fell apart around ’90-”91.

          • pterrydactyl

            I ‘member dem :)

        • MynameisBlarney

          He rode shotgun when they took it out for a road test.
          The cops finally had to put up a roadblock because none the police cruisers could even hope to catch them.
          He said 180mph was nothing for that car.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            Holy Moley! And a good racing suspension? They should have taken it to Le Mans.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Ford was in control of that. They wanted the GT40 for their flagship car.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            Oh, of course. :) Damn, what a Mustang that was, though. :D

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

          Sweet! :D My Dad had a green Fastback when I was like 8. We loved that car. It wasn’t custom, but I can imagine a custom Fastback ruling the Autobahn.

          • MynameisBlarney

            This one was like a race car with a license plate, horn, lights and turn signals.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            I bet! Street legal racer Fastback would be so fun. :D

          • MynameisBlarney

            Oh yeah, especially with suspension that make it more that just a straight line car.

      • Nounverb911
    • yyyaz

      The infamous Le Mans start, the list of drivers’ commenting, the sound of Matras, Porsches, Ferraris, Lancias, a CHAPPARAL FFS! Glory days.

    • Liberoid Ron

      And you could buy one of those GT40s in street tune for the princely sum of $12,000.

      • CripesAmighty

        Remember the Pantera? 351 Cleveland, out the door for 10k.

        • Liberoid Ron

          Yup. I still see them now and again, as well as the odd Bricklin. Supercars that were (almost) affordable.

          • CripesAmighty

            You can still find Bricks reasonably cheap (if’n ya don’t mind keeping towels handy to mop up from the leaky doors).

          • Liberoid Ron

            All the ones I see need serious fibreglass work, usually around the doors. Whoever engineered the bodies REALLY didn’t understand the medium.

          • CripesAmighty

            Yep. Malcolm was trying to do that acrylic/fiberglass sandwich thingy half-baked while playing hurry-up to meet demand. Didn’t end well.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    This is insteresting–and by “interesting” I mean “fucking suspicious” FFS:

    https://twitter.com/davidfrum/status/845635899022950400

  • Rachel Book Harlot
    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Conspiracy to commit a serious crime.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        Maddow made a great point about Woosley waiting months to come out about this — now that the FBI is investigating. Looks like he’s trying to cover his own butt.

        • It sounds a lot like “throw Flynn under the bus,” because it’s noteworthy that the supposedly ‘really disturbing’ incident Woolsey talks about didn’t cause him to decide to get out of the campaign/transition until three months later. Then wait for another three to talk about it.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Conspiracy to commit a felony against a legal US resident as an agent of a hostile foreign power while receiving classified security briefings.

        • yyyaz

          What is that T-word again? I just had it skimming around in my brian…..hmmmm….it’ll come back to me.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Or as @maggienyt would put it, lack of enthusiasm in american citizens.

    • ⭐️better than you⭐️

      Yeah, this is NUTS.

    • Jennifer R

      Woosley is arguing that because they didn’t discuss the actual abduction itself that this didn’t raise to the level of being a crime.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        He’s in damage control mode, I think.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      This is insane. Flynn should be drawn and quartered for this alone, being a stooge of Erdrogan.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    A little reminder that Donald the Terrible is not only hurting Americans:

    https://twitter.com/justin_kanew/status/845732781401542657

    For those unfamiliar, from the NYT: U.S. Investigating Mosul Strikes Said to Have Killed Up to 200 Civilians

    • Jennifer R

      How many new ISIL members did we just mint.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Exactly this.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        John Cole over at Balloon Juice is asking the same question.

        • Jennifer R

          Yeah I stole it from him shamelessly. I am everyone’s favorite NR baiter EBT over there.

        • Lord Jim

          From the Guardian:

          “We have until recently always credited the coalition for taking care to
          avoid civilian casualties, compared with the Russians. But since the
          last months of 2016 you have seen this steep climb in ­civilian
          casualties and public sentiment has turned very sharply against the
          US-led coalition.”

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        how many refugees?

    • Sardonicuss

      How about the fact that he has quietly put 1000 more “boots on the ground” in Syria while we were freaking out about all his other shit.
      This guy has got to go.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Marine gunbunnies (Artillerymen).

    • Panika MCD
    • Saw this one the front page, this morning, and there are no words for my rage.

  • Jennifer R
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Oh, this is going to be good. Pass the popcorn.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      How many people in the Republican party are involved, do you think? (Hint: the only correct answer is AOT, K.)

      • Jennifer R

        Carson is probably innocent.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          *Ben Carson’s voice* He… slipped… out… of.. my… mind… because… he’s… barely… alive.

          • Jennifer R

            I genuinely believe that Carson has a problem of some sort or another. Either he had a stroke or a drug problem.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Now I feel guilty for mocking him.

          • Jennifer R

            I think his family is taking advantage of him for money TBH.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Someone needs to start a “Rescue Ben Carson” foundation, then.

          • Tishalicious

            Barron first! He trips all my momma- bear “kiddo with special needs ” intuition switches…

          • Rags

            Feel guilty after he resigns.

        • MynameisBlarney

          I would think Graham, McCain, and Collins probably had nothing to do with any of that shit…

          Maybe one or two others, but other than that, yeah…AOT,K.

          • Jennifer R

            They may not be involved with THIS, but I wouldn’t use innocent to describe them either.

          • MynameisBlarney

            True.

    • natoslug

      Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease! April would be a beautiful month for treason trials for the lot of them, and impeachment, and a fuckton of senior positions to fill. Is that too much to ask for for my birthday (later April, in case you’re wondering how much time I’m giving them for the end of the Republican party . . . )?

    • The Witch of Endor

      Is there a secondary source that confirms this?

  • HazooToo

    I made some badass greasy as fuck Philly cheesesteaks tonight. On garlic bread, with lots of fried shallots.

    • Sardonicuss

      Did you bring enough for everybody? Huh? Did you?

    • natoslug

      I made a mess with the Kubota, filling in the mud hole that was threatening to swallow my wife’s van whenever she attempted to go down the driveway. Unfortunately, nothing edible in the mix, unless you count boulders and gravel and mud. However, now that I’m done, I think I’ll make myself present at the local brewery where they can make me something greasy as fuck to go with a beer. I’m feeling lazy.

      • Sardonicuss

        It was a most beautiful day here with the winds finally dieing down…so I was going to take the zero turn out, mow a little, drag the driveway and spray weeds…
        Instead, I spent he beautiful day jibber jabbering on the intertubes..
        but transitioned into a delightful pumpkin spiced ale that I picked up by mistake a couple of hours ago.
        Time to go throw frisbee for dorg…….

      • yyyaz

        I have Kubota envy.

        • natoslug

          I live near enough to my parents that I steal my dad’s when I have to do something beyond mowing the forest. One less thing I have to actually own and maintain while I live out here in the redwood-filled wasteland.

      • An Outhouse for the Resistance

        Good boy. I should have done something like that but it rained all day so I took a nap instead. Wife will need to avoid the mud hole for another week.

        • natoslug

          We’ve had a day without rain. It was either fill in the hole, or buy a new van on Monday after the first one sank and filled in the hole.

  • Panika MCD

    THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS I

    so I’ve had some rather rage inducing intrablag interactions with people who are supposed to be on our side. I feel like they’re just fucking trolling me at this point. I’d like to see how you would respond. so this is the first of four that I’ve had in the past week.

    on Thursday in TX Senate State Affairs we had a package of bills regarding campus sexual assault and rape. 3 of them were from Panika’s senator and the fourth was from Chair Joan Huffman (R – Houston). Huffman’s bill would criminally penalize university employees who fail to report such assaults, expel student officers who fail to report such assaults and would create an online database showing how many attempted sexual assaults, sexual assaults and rape were reported on a campus in a given year. when she was laying out the bill, she referred to a study which will be published by UT – Austin next week that says that 15% of UT – Austin female students experience an assault during their time at the institution. she said there was much more information in the coming study including the number of male students who have experienced a sexual assault and that it included data from surveys given to the students at the 14 UT System universities and state institutions.

    I chose not to share any articles about it because I want to see what the full study has, but someone shared it in my TX Dem FacePlant group and the following conversation ensued:

    PMCD: yeah, I covered that yesterday, but I was going to wait until the full report was out next week.

    DJ: Is that consistent with other college campuses?

    PMCD: again: we don’t know until the report comes out next week. that’s why I didn’t post it. she only quoted a couple UT – Austin numbers and the researchers did surveys at all UT System campuses.

    DJ: I’m thinking other colleges haven’t done this, afraid of what they may find. You don’t have to deal with a problem you don’t know about, after all…

    PMCD: it’s a UT system wide study. it’s going to be published next week. I don’t know how this is confusing. 14 institutions: http://www.utsystem.edu/institutions

    DJ: I’m speaking of Baylor, SMU, UH, et. al. UT isn’t the first college that was asked to come to grips with a rape culture crisis.

    PMCD: maybe I’m confused because that’s not what “college” means.

    let’s set aside that the bill–which is likely to pass–would require that data become available and that UH had done these studies in the past. I’m more concerned about someone who identifies as liberal in TX doesn’t know that the UT System is not limited to Austin and despite that being pointed out to him, you know, a lot, he’s clinging to the belief that he needs to dis all other higher education institutions in the state because: ??? help me out here.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

      I’m lost on this too. Is he more concerned about UT Austin’s rep than the actual facts, data, and doing something?

      • Panika MCD

        you think this is going to hurt their reputation? I doubt it. they’re being up front about it and have worked with our senator on the bills he’s put up. one of Sen. Watson’s (D – Austin) bills regarded an online reporting system which would allow for anonymous reporting so students can report and, if the same attacker comes up multiple times, an investigation can be initiated without a known victim. another bill would waive all administrative penalties associated with violations the victim may have committed at the time (like underage drinking) so that they will come forward.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

          No, it was a legit question. I’m not blaming them, I just literally don’t understand the POV of the person you’re having the conversation with

          • Panika MCD

            ah. yeah. I don’t understand the need to put down the other universities in the state or why he doesn’t understand that the UT System has more than one university…as does UH.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Tifosi Suprema

            Yeah, that’s a better way to put it. I think it’s good to wait for the data, and put it to good use.

    • Left Coast Tom

      I think your…”conversation”…”partner”…validated your reason for wanting to wait until the full report came out. Adults might discuss a limited set of data understanding the limitation that the full set of data has yet to come out, others, not so much.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Orzo and fennel to accompany sole fillets tonight with a side of schadenfreude. Never prepared orzo with fennel. Where the hell is Pinkham when you need him, uh?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Poached fennel or sautéed fennel or fennel salad or fennel gratin?

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
        • Carpe Vagenda

          Oh, feh. Bad instructions. Sauté the onions first and then add the fennel and tomatoes or you’ll never get anything to caramelize. And also too take the orzo out before it’s done and finish it in the vegetables with maybe a splash of wine.

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            Thanks for the save!

          • Carpe Vagenda

            NP. It sounds good :)

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            Mrs. Itt raved!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      As if Russia has the armed forces to wipe out the Syrian resistance all by themselves.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        They’re probably too busy in Ukraine.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Yay Chris! He’s one of ours. Would make a real good VP …. just sayin’

    • yyyaz

      We know about the deployment of our troops for the assault on Raqqa. This part is even scarier: “Recently, Trump sent a small group of Special Forces operators to Manbij
      to keep the peace between Kurdish and Turkish-backed forces …” I have no clue how to parse “small group” or “Special Forces operators.” I can parse that “keeping the peace” between Kurds and Turks with Iran and Putin stirring the pot is a recipe for an incendiary, unwinnable and unending bloodbath.

    • Liberoid Ron

      Well, now we know what the extra 54 billion’s for. But what will he do when that gets burned up in a few months?

  • BeverlyCrusher’sWig

    Just saw this. Sorry if already posted. https://twitter.com/andrewlofholm/status/845366793556443141

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Honest Abe is rolling in his grave.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        My favorite part is how the moldings have been painted gold but he clearly bought the cheapest projectors, chairs, and tablecloths imaginable. Everything not nailed down in that room is meant for a backyard barbecue wedding (which isn’t a bad thing, if you aren’t trying to convince everyone you are a billionaire with high caliber real estate).

      • zerosumgame0005

        replacing his stovepipe for a dullard MAGA hat is disgraceful

      • janecita

        Trump found out that Lincoln was a Republican, just in time to put a tacky hat on his head!

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I’ve always wanted a super luxe reception in a ballroom (thanks for the unrealistic expectations, Beauty and the Beast) and my first reaction to that room was, “Oh god, why?”

      • An Outhouse for the Resistance

        It smells like pee.

        • Left Coast Tom

          The ceiling is golden…

    • yyyaz

      Lincoln with MAGA ballcap. The rancid asshole has the taste of someone who would hire cheap hookers to piss on a hotel room bed.

      • HazooToo

        Fucking seriously. That fat tacky bastard has to ruin EVERYTHING he fucking touches.

        • CripesAmighty

          Crass? Vulgar? Somebody needs to invent a new term for this level of, just, ugh.

          • HazooToo

            Offensive to human dignity?

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Are they trying to say Lincoln was a Republican or something?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXLjs91sjJ4

    • Reximus

      Interestingly Lincoln probably had the “Worst First 100 days” title until Cheeto Benito bounced into the lead

    • Sardonicuss

      Looks familiar…