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It’s a lot less of a scam than this thing, for starters…

Dingleberry Paul Ryan now says his very own plan to kill off the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare, what, are you new here?) needs some fixing before it has even a chance of passing the House, and you just never mind that he had previously said it was such a finely crafted plan that tinkering with it would ruin it. Ryan and Vice President Mike Pence are finding ways to make the proposal more palatable to House conservatives, who think the Ryan plan is entirely too kind to poor people, without also scaring away moderates who would rather not be tarred and feathered (with votes) after taking away people’s health coverage. That ought to be easy. All Ryan has to do is come up with a plan that completely eradicates Obamacare while not completely eradicating Obamacare.

After the Congressional Budget Office projected the plan would throw 24 million Americans off their insurance by 2026, with 14 million likely to drop insurance just in 2018, Ryan and Pence met with House Republicans to tell them the bill can be changed before it goes to a full House vote next week, though they were vague about what would change. One idea being floated to bring the hard right aboard phases out the ACA’s expansion of Medicaid even faster than the current version does, but if that’s included, the bill could lose more support among moderates, according to Indiana Rep. Luke Messer, who told Politico,

My perception is that changing that date would lose at least as many votes as it would gain […] I think the current draft of the bill does a good job balancing the concerns … of creating a horizon upon which these changes can happen. To me, I think it’s best that that provision stay the way it is.

Another terrific idea to make the bill even tougher on poor people would be to allow governors to require Medicaid recipients — if any are left — to work for their benefits. The White House is apparently OK with that one.

The super-teabaggy House Freedom Caucus, on the other hand, wants nothing short of a full repeal of the ACA, with any new health policies to be enacted later, if at all. The House Budget Committee voted this morning to move the bill along, passing it by just 19 to 17, with all three of the Freedom Caulkers on the budget committee voting against it.

So far, the proposed changes to the bill are all over the place, with rightwing House members pushing for an earlier end to Medicaid expansion and to weaken even further the types of coverage insurance must provide (plus that work requirement) and moderates calling for kinder gentler tax credits that would give seniors more help in purchasing private health insurance. So it’s looking like whatever changes are made are likely to lose votes with one side or the other, and that’s just in the House. Even if a bill that makes House hardliners happy can pass, the meaner the House version gets, the less chance the bill has in the Senate, where, Vox reports, 12 Republicans have objected to the bill in its current form; for the bill to pass in the Senate, no more than two Republicans can vote against it.

Even so, Paul Ryan is still reportedly acting thrilled that he’ll be able to get some version of his dumb crappy bill passed, says Politico:

Appearing at the full GOP conference meeting Wednesday night, Pence tried to rally all Republicans to get excited about repealing the health care law — despite the clear challenges ahead. He opened the conference by holding up his pointer finger and his thumb one inch apart and declaring: “We are this close to history!”

Say…you know who else was just this close to making history?

Yr Wonkett has gone ad-free, which means we rely on the generous support of readers now. Hit the donations clicky thing below this article to help us keep you up to date on Schrödinger’s ACA repeal.

[Politico / WaPo / Politico / WaPo / Vox]

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  • Wild Cat

    “Dingleberry”? I heard his wife shaves his arsehole daily. It’s a Traditional Ayn Rand Value.

    • schmannity

      Worst job creator ever.

    • The Wanderer

      Does she bleach his arsehole as well?

  • schmannity

    It’s almost like the 60 prior repeals were political theater with no real plan. Weird.

    • Wild Cat

      You’d think “the media” might mention your short factoid . . .

      • Lascauxcaveman

        And it’s odd, as many times they’ve tried to repeal ACA, there have been just as many polls saying a majority of Americans want to keep ACA, but improve it. Sooooo… you’d think they could make great political hay by loudly trumpeting up their intention to improve ACA, and how much better it’s going to be, with these great Republican improvements, yada yada yada.

        OTOH, the majority of Americans voted for Hillary, so fuck those guys. Anything that doesn’t work for the 1% is a non-starter, I guess.

        • schmannity

          The 1% is going to take their health insurance and create jobs, you cynic.

  • Anna Rompage
    • The Wanderer

      The odds are against it.

      • puredog

        While the sanes are all for it.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Ryan’s 3-pronged ACA repeal and replace is more useless than a spork.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Oh, the tines they are a-changin’.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Come senators, congressmen
        Please don’t act miffed
        You can’t kill off Obamacare
        We all know you’ve whiffed
        Besides, if we’re all dead
        Who’ll pay your grift?

        • Lascauxcaveman

          … And the boomers are rapidly aging.

  • JMP

    Look, as it is the bill will only kill 17,000 Americans a year; that’s way too low for the anti-freedom caucus, who want to make sure that the poor are in constant danger of death so that the working class serfs will be kept in line willing to do their corporate lords’ bidding out of desperation to not fall into poverty and literal starvation.

    • Oblios_Cap

      “fall further”.
      FIFY

    • schmannity

      What don’t you understand about “great.”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      How can you groom great athletes if they’re not hungry enough for it?

    • tomamitai

      What about the bill allowing more crazies to get guns, won’t that get the fear and the body count high enough?

      • willi0000000

        apparently nothing will get the body count high enough for these monsters.

  • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

    You are also thisclose to prison you traitorous bastards.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Msgr_MΩment

      He didn’t say WHOSE prosperity. My money’s on the Koch Bros.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The path to prosperity travels directly over the bones of Paul Ryan.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        With votes, appropriately enough.

    • Amy!

      Mercy!

  • wide_stance_hubby

    It would be juvenile of anyone here to make assumptions about his ability to satisfy his wife, given that he is an incompetent idiot at work.

    • schmannity

      You never know. As Kathleen Turner said in Body Heat:

      “You aren’t too smart, are you? I like that in a man.”

  • Oblios_Cap
  • JMP

    Remember how, when the ACA was passed, the media kept insisting that it was illegitimate because it wasn’t bipartisan, that Obama had to compromise with the Republicans despite having a majority in the House and a supermajority in the Senate, still a bill somehow needed support from some Republicans to be real for some reason? Funny that no one is insisting that The Racist and The Granny Starver have to find bipartisan consensus for the attempt at ACA repeal.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Please see my nym for my thoughts on the MSM.

  • Michael R

    Nice try Anus Rand .

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “My mom says it’s a good plan. [sniffle]”
    — Paul Ryan

    • The Wanderer

      I heard that Ryan’s mother was on the cover of Crack Whore magazine.

      • puredog

        That’s not quite correct. She was the centerfold.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        She uses it as a kneeling pad.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        She does live in Florida, so that fits.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I’ll ask her tonight.

    • Mike Steele

      His widowed Mom thought it just fine to take those SSA gummint handouts when little Paulie was growing up, else wise he might have landed working in a factory job, like the millions he’s so gleefully about to shaft.

  • goonemeritus

    A true Conservative will never be happy with just defunding all aid to the poor, you need to actively humiliate them too. I think we have the team in place that can do this in true Conservative fashion.

    • Oblios_Cap

      It worked so well for French Royalty, back in the day.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      It’s what Jesus would want.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Perhaps a nationwide “Kicking of the Poors” once a month…maybe on the day public assistance funds are denied to worthy applicants. Good times!

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Ooh! Coupled with Weasel Stomping Day, and we all get to use our special shoes more than once.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Bless his heart.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Hans Giger? The prongs are phalli!

      • puredog

        Giger? I hardly knew ‘er.

      • The Wanderer

        Giggity giggity Giger!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      In the Evan sense.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    “A blueprint to outline our path to moral bankruptcy.”

    • Oblios_Cap

      The GOP are already there; they just want the rest of us to join them.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Misery DEMANDS company.

  • anwisok
  • BosGrl

    I’m sure many of you have loved ones (or even yourself) that cannot work due to disability. Drumpf insisting they work doesn’t change the fact that they physically or mentally can’t.

    • Scrofula

      C’mon, you want chemo? Wash those fuckin dishes!

      • BosGrl

        I’m going to start throwing dishes soon. Seriously, what the absolute fuck is happening.

        • Anna Rompage

          The GOP has fallen for their own lies, and are now implementing all the draconian shit they’ve been using to instill fear in their base…

      • Anna Rompage

        And seeing that the only policy you can afford has a $25,000 out of pocket maximum, we’ll need that upfront, before you start treatment…

        • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

          Just what would that 25 grand get you anyway? One night’s hospitalization, 2 aspirin and a band-aid?

          • Anna Rompage

            When my sweetie was going through chemo, the immune system booster shot she got was $12,000 each, and she got one of those after every chemo treatment…

          • starfanglednut

            I have a friend with leukemia whose weekly shots to keep him alive cost his insurance $5000. Roughly $20,000 per month. They priced the same medication from Canada: $481

            So it’s a scam all around. Let companies overcharge for meds, then tell people their insurance can’t pay for it because it’s too expensive.

      • SpideySenser

        But my hands hurt.

    • borninatrailer
      • BosGrl

        He’s kicking her under the table with steel-toed boots.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Assmouth has never let being incapable of work stop him, so he figures it shouldn’t stop anyone else, either.

    • Mike Steele

      Anyone watch the Hayes/Sanders town hall from McDowell County, W(Trumpallthewaybygod)VA?
      Where might those good conservative Xians suggest finding employment for vast majority of the ‘workforce’ who can neither pass 10th grade nor a piss test? Oh, yeah – that’s right…he’s going to open up all the mines again: coal, salt, copper, uranium…and congrats, NV, they’re bringing back Yucca Flats nuclear waste disposal boondoggle. Jobs for everybody!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Now the Dems have allies…the loons of the “Freedumb Caucus” who don’t think AHCA goes far enough in punishing the poor.

    • BosGrl

      The enemy of my enemy…

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      “The enemy of my enemy…is also my enemy, but may prove useful.” – Cardassian saying

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I still have confidence in the Freedumbs’ ability to find a way to make things worse somehow…

  • Scrofula

    You’d think the teabaggers would’ve taught the GOP to fear a Trump admin.
    I’m actually glad they still have to deal with those fuckers, and hope they all eat each other alive.

  • Snopes Shop

    He’s so dumb he referred to his own plan as “watered down”, something pundits say. You don’t say this about your OWN PLAN.

    • Scrofula

      I’m an idiot, and even I can think up “distilled” as a better PR option.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        “Distilled”? How about “pickled”?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      All he’s doing is handing ammunition to federal judges. He thinks he’s Louis XIV, complete with the gilded chairs and mirrored ceilings.

  • Msgr_MΩment
    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Thoughtful consideration” and “Donald Trump” don’t belong in the same sentence. Ever.

      • Jonny On Maui

        “After thoughtful consideration Donald Trump was confined to a mental health facility for the rest of his days for the safety of the planet.”

        It’s a first draft…

        • Villago Delenda Est

          OK, this we’ll allow.

      • Gosala

        Sure they do, as in, “Donald Trump is incapable of thoughtful consideration.”

        Or, “After thoughtful consideration, I concluded that Donald Trump is an ass.”

    • That’s a weird thing I found out on Colbert the other day… If the president says something in public, it’s automatically declassified.

      No wonder the spooks aren’t telling him the really juicy stuff.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Pence: We’re just this short of making it…
    Ryan: That’s what she said
    Pence: Not helping Paul!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      OHJB: That’s what yo mama said.,

  • The Wanderer

    The Republicans have become the Bourbons – they forget nothing, yet learn nothing.

    • Oblios_Cap

      But they aren’t intoxicating in the least.

      • arglebargle

        They do, however, have us over a barrel.

    • Crank Tango

      Time to sharpen up Le Rasoir National™!
      https://media.giphy.com/media/wSRFaMfu2WeD6/giphy.gif

    • Villago Delenda Est

      At least Louis XV had the presence of mind to say Après moi le déluge. Or perhaps Madame de Pompadour, his lover, said it. Either way, it turned out to be prophetic.

  • anwisok

    I have a suggestion, if they want to make it more attractive to the Freedumb cockus! Add a provision prohibiting people making less than, say, $50k/year from purchasing health insurance at all. Add another saying that all medical procedures for uninsured patients must be paid in full before treatment begins, and they’ll trample each other in the rush to vote for it!

    • BosGrl

      I swear to God that in private they say things like this.

    • Anna Rompage

      “all medical procedures for uninsured patients must be paid in full before treatment begins.”

      They already pretty much do that unless it’s a life threatening, or severely adverse condition such as a heart attack, a broken bone, or burst organ…

      You have cancer, you got to pay for it out of pocket…
      You have diabetes, pay for treatment
      You have MS, you pay for all treatments
      Don’t have the money to pay for it and cannot get a grant to pay for it, you die!

      • BosGrl

        The rest of the rational world takes care of its citizens. I wish there really was a Jesus coming back to Earth because I think most of these people would not see the wrath coming to them.

        • That lil temple tantrum will seem like small potatoes…..

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Most of these people would not see him, period. Because Donnie would have him blocked from entering the country for being too brown skinned…

        • Jim Johnson

          I too would like to see some “smiting” of these heartless jerks.

        • BackDoorMan

          … I’m beginning to think that despite all the Jesus-talk these Fundavangelicals spout, they really don’t believe in a Judgement Day where they will have to answer before Almighty God. They know the whole Christist spew is a crock of shit, and thus they can get away with what they’re doing. At least, in the non-existent afterlife.

      • Scrofula

        You’re back to EMTs going through your pockets before carrying your unconscious ass into the ER. “Sorry you’re bleeding out, hopefully you can find $100k before you die!”

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Ryan and Vice President Mike Pence are finding ways to make the proposal more palatable to House conservatives, who think the Ryan plan is entirely too kind to poor people, without also scaring away moderates who would rather not be tarred and feathered (with votes) after taking away people’s health coverage.

    Good luck threading that needle, boys. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3d5dd8b2ca21c9b8dab0e5fd00b3302bfffb8f876c422d88248641c279bfbe17.gif

  • Shibusa
  • Bill D. Burger
    • Crank Tango

      Shit, I’d upfist that if only for getting insure vs. ensure right!

      • Scrofula

        Ensure isn’t covered, but recommended as a substitute.

        • Chris

          That’s for seniors who will no longer be getting Meals on Wheels. Until of course it gets reclassified as medical care and then it will be too expensive.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Jenny

    If by history you mean simultanous riots across the country…then yes. Ya’ll gonna make history.

  • Jonny On Maui

    We are this close to history!

    Yup. Approaching the wrong side.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Lance Thrustwell

    Seven fucking years, they had. Excuse my fucking French. If they were not utterly full of shit about wanting to improve health care access for the American people, they would have not just one, but several alternative plans worked out to the nth detail by now.

    Why can’t they just drop the act? Just say what they really think; healthcare is not a right. Good healthcare is expensive and always will be. If you’re poor, you’re fucked, that’s just how it is – and if we could do away with mandatory ER care, we would.

    Oh, that’s right – they can’t just come out and say it because then they’ll lose votes. Silly me.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Republicans also set out to make Barry a one-term president. So we see how good they are at meeting their goals…

    • msanthropesmr

      I said this same thing in my mind.

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      Repeat after me: THIS IS NOT ABOUT HEALTH. It’s not about CARE. It’s purely a way to give the 0.1% yet another tax break. Period, full stop.

      • Jim Johnson

        It’s always gimme, gimme, gimme with these filthy rich assholes.

        • arensb

          Oh, there’s more to it than that. There’s also a big dollop of “Fuck you, I’ve got mine.”

      • Jim Johnson

        Oh, and cover for eliminating Planned Parenthood.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      You’d think they’d at least have one symbolic replacement.

    • lroom
  • MeerkatsRMammals

    Why does the GOP hate the poor & the elderly? Seriously…these guys are WORSE than canned clams :(

    • They don’t HATE them. They just do not care about them because being old and or poor, it is very hard to grift anything of worth from them.

      • MeerkatsRMammals

        I suppose you’re right… Reading about all these cuts to Medicaid, Meals on Wheels & homeless Vets this morning is just SO messed up!

        • For the GOP, it is not ask what you can do for your country, it is ask what you can do for your GOP

  • Anna Rompage

    Remember the Matrix when it was revealed that we’re all pretty much just an energy source and our lives were worth nothing?

    Our reality is pretty much the same, but instead of supplying our masters with energy, we are supplying them with ridiculous amounts of wealth

    • Scrofula

      And sadly, it doesn’t violate thermodynamics.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      That they just sit on.

      • Anna Rompage

        Sort of, I mean they do get bragging rights among their friends when the Forbes 100 Wealthiest People In The World list comes out every year…

        • snark-lurker

          That just makes them greedier–to get higher on the list or at least not lose position downward.

        • BackDoorMan

          … which could explain why The Liar-in-Chief has in the past sued Forbes because they reported his “net worth” at far lower than what he himself claimed. Since this festering, orange-crusted pustule equates money with greatness (accomplishment), and entry into the upper echelons of the moneyed elite, it’s no wonder he wants to keep his taxes hidden – criminal/treasonous activities aside. He’s never going to be welcome in The Old Rich Boy’s Club, no matter how much he brags/lies. Sad!

      • arensb

        You wrote “sit”. You forgot the “H”.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • SayItWithWookies

    If Ryan wants to eliminate something that’s fucking up affordable healthcare, he could start with the Hastert Rule. Of course, it would be ideologically impure for Republicans to get rid of their narrow-mindedness, especially now that it’s named after a known pedophile.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    I’m tired of these motherfucking snakes in this motherfucking country! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/443678540f3de3f3d9b97429c4919c370821abb71965574258b74891d8b121b1.jpg

  • ViveLaProtestPayments
    • Villago Delenda Est

      This is what is known as a “Kinsleyan Gaffe”; it’s when you accidentally blurt out what you’re actually thinking.

    • anwisok

      “Medicaid, which pays around 50 to 85 cents on the dollar of the actual cost of medical care.” Uh . . .I think not. 50 – 85% of what they charge, maybe, but not what it costs to provide the care. Fucking lying liar who lies!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        They have more or less admitted that they just make shit up, and then they proceed to bill that if they can get away with it. With individuals, they usually can. With health insurance companies and medicare/medicaid, some negotiation enters into it. With the VA, they get ultimatums that they bow to if they want to keep doing business with the VA.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Tell me again why for profit health care is the best?

  • Lefty Frizzell

    A full repeal of ACA would immediately remove the mandate, allow pre-existing condition denial, lifetime caps, and roll back medicaid expansion, right? That’s what they want?

    I have had it with these fuckers, and even more with their dumbass supporters. They should just do that, and literally kill off the voters that voted them in. It would serve both camps right.

    • h4rr4r

      Yes, Yes, Yes, and Yes.

      Any more questions?

    • anwisok

      And kill their own Party, as a bonus.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Trumpryancare in a nutshell: Eat shit and die.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I point and laugh. Ha!

  • Sardonicuss

    Republicans: Our business is killing you and business is good.

  • Say…you know who else was just this close to making history?

    Arnold Rimmer? He fell short of greatness by a gnat’s wing…

    • msanthropesmr

      Wasn’t he the pig on Green acres?

      • efoveks

        At least he (Arnold) got into college! (I can’t remember if he actually went though). :)

      • tomamitai

        That was Arnold Ziffel.

        • msanthropesmr

          No, that’s the drink made with half ice tea, half lemonade.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            No, you’re thinking of Steve Bannon’s favorite wine- Alt-White Zinfandel

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          no, he was that obnoxious kid on Welcome Back, Kotter

          • WotsAllThisThen

            The one who fought Screech and lost?

          • msanthropesmr

            No, that’s what Marlon Brando leaves in someone’s bead when they cross him.

      • Philistine! I command you to watch all… 11 seasons (it’s unclear if season 9 actually counts or not) of Red Dwarf RIGHT NOW! I’ll get you started…

        http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x269pjp_red-dwarf-s01e01-the-end_shortfilms

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Geraldo Rivera?

    • chicken thief

      Cain and Able’s siblings?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      My cousin Steve, in Mrs Engel’s 10th grade class?

  • proudgrampa

    “May I give you my testimony?”

  • chicken thief

    They get any closer to history and Pence could measure the distance with his cock.

    • frrolfe

      Only 2mm away from history!

  • Crystalclear12

    I see. So they stuck on “?” part before “profit”, huh?

  • Bill D. Burger

    Oh jeeez’! ot..but I’ve seen three reports today referencing the surge of undocumented Asians entering the USA.
    Shit! Now are we gonna’ have to pay for extending that fucking ‘wall’ from San Diego to up the Pacific Coast to Vancouver?
    Wait….wasn’t there a movie about a Pacific wall….oh, we’re doomed!

    http://s3.amazonaws.com/images.hitfix.com/assets/2029/pac-post.jpg

    • DahBoner

      You mean those Rich Chinese buying Kushner s office building for way over FMV WINK WINK?

      HORRIBLE

    • Apparently, according to CNN, there’s tens of thousands of undocumented… Irish here in this country. Ye gods, what horrors await us?

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Bad limericks?

      • WotsAllThisThen

        There’s a bar down the street flying the Irish flag. I wonder if all those angry breitbart commenters will go down there and yell at them.

        • Paul

          Only once.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Fuck for the Paddy oh…

      • Nockular cavity

        Green beer.

    • Kiri the Paid Protestor

      Help us, Gojira!

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Gamera is a friend to all children! Adults who live in cities, well that’s another story.

  • Crystalclear12

    Trumpcare making Obamacare great!

  • DahBoner
    • laughingnome

      Man blames dog.

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    Lots of folks are now appreciating what Obamacare set out to do. I’ve heard some people saying things like “It just needed time to get people to warm up to it. I realize that now.” I guess when we Obama told people it would get better as people enrolled they didn’t believe him (he’s black, so, y’know…) Well, enjoy it while it lasts because Trump and Ryan are gonna fuck you up good once Obamacare is gone and you will have to like it.

    • nightmoth

      I’m mean and angry enough that I don’t give a fuck if every goddamn redneck Trumpanzee I know dies because of this. But I have elderly black friends who worked hard all their lives at crap jobs, maids and bricklayers, etc., because that’s all they could get, and this will kill them, too. If this passes, we must recruit medical personnel to open free clinics as if we’re a 3rd world country.

      • Claire

        Maybe Doctors Without Borders will start sending in teams.

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie
    • Villago Delenda Est

      He’s right. We’re going to have to face facts someday. These people are beyond redemption.

      • Claire

        This. We can’t afford to make the same mistake Obama did with Congress and assume that they’ll come around to being rational people eventually. They never will.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I have to agree with that. Pres Obama and the Democrats worked very hard to try to save these people from the consequences of another Great Depression. They also tried to get them healthcare.
      I can’t say that I don’t care what happens to them. I am angry that they have dragged the rest of the country down with them.
      I am sick and tired of their attempts to Confederize the rest of the country.

  • Rick Hill
    • CogitoErgoBibo

      [*Insert obligatory meterologist complaint that storms are not granted names by the NSW; winter storm names are a made-up marketing tool of The Weather Channel.*]

      • ahughes798

        I know. It’s really stupid. I can hardly wait until they start naming thunderstorms. Are you a meteorologist?

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          Nope. But I’m having pizza with one in less than an hour, so I’m meteorologist adjacent.

  • snark-lurker

    WTF is wrong with these people anyway? Really. Are they all sadistic or “bought” or both?

    • boyblue122

      They are narcissists. Caring for others isnt in their DNA.

      • snark-lurker

        well that too

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Grape Koolaid…

      • SterWonk

        Kool-Aid LIBEL!!! (Jim Jones used Flavor Aid.)

        • Chris

          Cheap bastard!

          • Celtic_Gnome

            I knew there was something about that guy I didn’t like.

  • boyblue122

    Im sure this number will skyrocket once Obamacare is repealed

    https://twitter.com/JCrongeyer/status/842419456307564545

    • chicken thief

      FREEDUM!!!!!

      • ahughes798

        Japan, also too?

    • Scrofula

      Doesn’t include folks like me who hid for seven years to avoid a judgment.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Ahem. I believe Sweden would like to be included in the above chart….

    • Liberoid Ron

      ‘C’mon, America, we can make it a million!’

    • Longstreet63

      We’re number One! We’re number One!

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Celtic_Gnome

      May fave was when they thought taking out the word Muslim would fix it. One of the judge’s rulings was, essentially, “Did you think we weren’t listening last year?”

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I’m sorry, how many dozens of times did they vote to repeal Obamacare while Obama was President? There’s an easier way to do this fellas. Repeal the 22nd Amendment, get Obama back in the White House, and then you can repeal Obamacare all you want.

    • Liberoid Ron

      A sensible plan. Make it so.

  • TheGrandWazoo2
    • boyblue122

      needs moar bran

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        ’cause no prescriptions…

      • TakingAmes

        I initially read the above as “needs moar brain,” and I find I’m happy with it either way.

    • phoenix00

      I like how the hair and the commode are the same shade.

  • chicken thief

    I don’t know why you libards get all upset about kicking people that need healthcare off healthcare in order to give tax breaks to people that don’t need tax breaks.

    h/t to lolgop, paraphrased from a tweet

  • Mr. Blobfish

    My favorite part so far is how Paulie sez “uh huh, did too write it with the president and the senate” and they’re all like “nuh uh did not you liar”. So glad to have the adults back in charge.

    • boyblue122

      They spent the past 8 years investigating emails and Benghazi and shutting down the government. They dont know what to do now that they are in charge

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Ya know, we got a government shutdown deadline in April. I can’t remember if it’s the debt ceiling or a CR for the budget, but, can’t help wondering how that goes down.

  • I remember when the GOP thought they were mighty funny, sticking the ACA with that Obamacare moniker. Never occurred to them that their voters would think that they were two different things, did it?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      It’ll be Trumpcare, now.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        In big gold letters, just the way he likes it.

  • Oneofthebobs

    Maybe Erwin Schrodinger can solve Mr Ryan’s problem.

    • phoenix00

      He may or may not be willing, and he may or may not have the spare time.

  • Portia McGonagal

    With all of the stuff slashed from Trump’s budget, I hope they left a bucket of funds for poor houses and disposal of the dead. Between Tryancare / Trumpdon’tcare and budget cuts, gonna be needed.

    • TakingAmes

      Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!

    • xzargo

      SOYLENT GREEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • phoenix00

      You know That Wall, you can pile those corpses there I suppose….

  • azeyote

    as much as they want, and try, they just can’t bring Ayn Rand back from whatever ditch that bitch was left in –

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      “that welfare bitch”. FIFY…

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Don’t you talk about Paul Ryan that way!

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Wait until they find out she was getting all kinds of public assistance. They’ll want to let her stay in the ditch.

      • ahughes798

        They already know that. They choose to ignore it, it’s not Galty enough for them. I have a question. Is Ayn pronounced like “Ein”(like in Einstein), or “Ann?” Or is it “Hypocritical twat?”

        • Doug Langley

          It’s pronounced “Ein”. I think she took it from a writer she admired as a child.

      • Claire

        It’s okay because she was white, and white people are all hard-working and deserve a hand when they’re in trouble.

        • Liberoid Ron

          I’d be more than happy to applaud when these people are in trouble.

  • chortlingdingo

    Oh, Paul, I’m afraid you aren’t going to like what history will say about you.

  • Nockular cavity

    you know who else was just this close to making history?

    Zeno?

    • redarmyzombie

      Martha Jones?

      • ahughes798

        Hillary Clinton?

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      That lady who died because she didn’t have health insurance?

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Rush Limbaugh and Alex Jones? Oh wait, you said making history, not making up history.

    • DahBoner

      Edie Brickell?

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Just this close! And, as Steve said: Time keeps on slipping slipping slipping into the Future…

  • Yr. Gma

    I am still trying to process the “work for Medicaid” idea. So the quadriplegic guy in the long-term care home is going to go pick up trash on the freeway in his wheelchair? Is the premature baby in the NICU going to lick envelopes for Republican fund raisers? I can’t even.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Never mind the people who are already working. i guess they work more? Also Republicans love child labor. That moocher premature baby needs to go out and get a jerb.

  • Mary Sandoras

    Ummm, they’ve only had 8 years to come up with a plan.

    • Longstreet63

      Well, the first seven plus years, they didn’t know that health care was complicated.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        The Republican party is that guy that forwards that Youtube video to everyone on his contact list three years after everyone’s seen it.

        h/t Weird Al.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Speaking of being close to history Coach Ryan, don’t try to pass it. Give the ball to Marshawn.

    • chicken thief

      I loved Marshawn “I’m only here so they won’t fine me” Lynch!

  • whitroth

    Hey, sure, let them work for their benefits. And if they can’t find a job, then the Evil Gov’t should be required to hire them.

  • Mavenmaven

    In these folks mind, they think they are “giving it” to the “inner city moochers”, not willing to realize that the primary uninsured will be exactly the core Trump rally participants.

    • Mike

      It seems to be the driving emotion behind the RW in this country. They’ll take away their own healthcare because some Mexican kid in San Antonio is getting Medicaid.
      They want to punish everyone who ever kept them from their glorious Reich Wing fantasy come true … it’s freakin crazy.

      • LadyLaz

        This. It’s horrible

  • Panika MCD

    not sure the kind of history that’s in the making is one they’ll want their names attached to later.

  • DahBoner
  • Tiny kaiju

    Dumb question here: Aren’t many or most Medicaid recipents children or disabled? Maybe we can put them all to work maintaining the robots that have taken over manufacturing jobs and guilt tripping church goers into increase their tithes.

    • MmeLafarge

      Children, disabled, or IN A NURSING HOME.

    • Amy!

      They’re targeting the folks in the states that accepted the expansion. They’ve already made it clear that they’re going to be approving section 1115 waivers that include the work requirement.

      (the fact that many people aren’t able doesn’t matter; the work requirement isn’t about getting free labor or about making folks feel as though they’re earning something, it’s about domination games and the humiliation of those who have to ask for help, and then have to prove that they’re not able to do [fill in the dismissive description of a ‘simple’ job of your choice]. being able to harass the disabled is just lagniappe)

      • Celtic_Gnome

        And they’re going to have to get something from their doctor as part of the waiver process, and the doctor is going to get so fucking sick of filling out this same form over and over, since that’s not why he nearly killed himself to become a doctor in the first place.

      • Tiny kaiju

        Shame the poor! Shame the poor! Even if it’s more expensive and redundant! Shame the poor!
        Also lagniappe is a new word for me, I will still forget how to pronounce it if I try to use it in conversation.

        • Mr Canoehead

          “Lagniappe” is pronounced “bo’-nus”

          • Tiny kaiju

            I thought at first it might be pronouce throat warbler mangrove, thank you for saving me from embaressment.

      • The medicaid expansion to adults who simply had to pass an income test (no asset test) was a major part of the ACA. It allows low income, part timers, students, etc. to have robust insurance without paying a small fortune.

        At least in IL it’s very robust and working quite well.

    • Sarah E. Grove

      There are many, many MANY elderly Americans in nursing homes that are covered by Medicaid. I guess Ryan wants to leave them in the gutters to starve to death.

  • pgjack

    History was made when Obama got the ACA passed. This cluster fuck of a bill is the unmaking of history.

  • Lefty Wright

    Are you sure Ryan didn’t say This close to being history?

  • Amy!

    These guys. I dunno. Don’t they know it’s all about messaging?

    See, they need a catchy name. How do these sound to people?

    Ten-Millennia Health Care Plan

    Finally Solving Health Care

    It Belongs to Us: Health Care for the Future

    Living Space for the Dominant Race People: Healthy Kids, Healthy Kitchens, Healthy Churches

    • Maybe

      Unfortunately the Repubs are very good at messaging. Unfortunately for them, that works best when they are blocking and/or demonizing some thing or some one. They are not good at doing stuff.

      More unfortunately, Dems are lousy at messaging even when they have issues falling into their laps. Where is the Dem version of “Obamacare” and “death panels” for this hot mess? Why aren’t they tying this around the collective neck of the Repub party like a dead albatross?

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    So, my daughter was a beneficiary of the Medicaid expansion while already working as many hours as her crap retail job would give her. Because FIGHT FOR 15 fuck that too.

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