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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

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  • memzilla Ω
  • Chadwells
    • Mr. Blobfish

      This is what the internet was made for.

    • Mpeg

      I’m completely mesmerized and thrilled at this~

  • Chadwells

    Why the fuck is this imbecile still doing rallies?!

    • MynameisBlarney

      Ego stroking?

      • wide_stance_hubby

        HA!

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Gratuitous overcompensation for unmet childhood needs. Same as always.

      • MynameisBlarney

        His daddy never hugged him.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Gawd, will someone please find his fucking sled already?

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Because it’s easier than presidenting.

    • Bill D. Burger

      It’s Trump’s perverse version of Countess Elizabeth Báthory de Ecsed, bathing in the blood of her victims to keep her young and exciting.
      He basks in the adoration of the willfully ignorant and stupid Trumpanzees, many of whom would be hurt the most by his policies….but he is their Messiah of Hate and that’s all they need and he, of course, will gleefully sacrifice them.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      It’s the only way he can get off these days.

    • janecita

      He needs the adoration of his brainless followers.

    • Reddishrabbit

      2020 is right around the corner!

      Now I want a drink thinking that

    • Mike Steele

      To launder some of that campaign money he’s already hustling for 2020 from the home-grown oligarchs benefitting via his ongoing decimation of all those onerous “regulations” that Kept America Safe Once.

      • Chadwells

        Boom!!! Nailed it!!!

    • Bebecca

      as a reminder of why he ran for precedent.

    • Creepoman

      Just following the playbook – it’s what the beta-version Trump did. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/43a1d0d36f4db7cbabaaeedf0b7584cf3d2d7543f66caee021c5c1a21fa851d4.png

    • OneYieldRegular

      I really thought the Wonkagenda would be all over Trump paying a visit to Andrew Jackson’s grave yesterday like a common North Korean toady laying a wreath at the tomb of Kim Jong Il.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      You know who else still had rallies after he seized power?

  • MynameisBlarney

    Over a dozen gone missing in the last week…

    https://twitter.com/BlackMarvelGirl/status/841107316791377920

    • Mr. Blobfish

      If they were blonde…..

      • Mary Sandoras

        Nancy Grace used to do that crap with amber alerts on missing white children. She finally got called out on it.

    • janecita

      Serial killer?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Could be…likely even.

        • janecita

          They are all so young! Where is Fox? This is the kind of story they should be reporting on, instead they spent 8 months looking for Natalie Holloway.

      • Creepoman

        CPAC was just up the road the week before.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Has anyone checked on Hillary Clinton’s whereabouts?

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Dave Brat on why the government can’t be involved in health care: “because our country is insolvent and our finite human minds can’t handle the complexity.”

    I guess his finite human mind doesn’t realize that Medicare costs rise much slower than private medical costs, AND more importantly, if we’re so broke, why are we going to be handing out more tax cuts for the super rich?

    • Mike Steele

      Brat gets easily confused, what with those womenz ‘all up in his grille’.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Other countries manage quite nicely. I guess these means we aren’t so exceptional.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Our OWN country manages to give care to the elderly quite nicely.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Are we sure that’s not a photo of Denis Leary in a Trump skin suit?

  • Vincent Ricola

    Samantha Bee was dead on right about people not voting. LA had a record-breaking 12% turnout rate for their mayoral election?!?!

    Us lefties stuck in red states are banking on you coastal elites to show us the way – as you always have in the past – please please please take time out of protesting and wishing on your Bernie Sanders poster to actually fucking vote.

    • Mike Steele

      Netherlands turnout that saved the world from Dutch Trump: 80.2%. Shame on us!

    • Creepoman

      12% record high or record low?

      • Vincent Ricola

        Record low. Everyone must’ve been too busy live-tweeting a Chris Hayes townhall to bother with any kind of GOTV effort.

        • Creepoman

          I guess the whole democracy thing was a pretty interesting experiment while it lasted.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    OT: Windows Update Sux. That is all.

  • Groundloop

    Say, you know who else is a crackpot dictator with bird ahh screw it!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2e58f37afbe166135d6b817aef79c823bf7ab99aefde85ca10e6295ada9aec11.jpg

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      What’s in his head is even more ridiculous.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Mrs Pixelz and I call Little Babby Donnie’s 2020 campaign events “trip to the mall” in reference to Sally Fields’ character in “Soapdish”. She played a soap opera actress who ,when she felt insecure, would go to a mall to be recognized and adulated by her fans.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Ryancare vs Trumpcare ___ Paul and Donny discuss the merits of and who owns the ‘replacement’s’ standing.

    https://pearlsofprofundity.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/its-your-fault-1a.jpg

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    So… no free personal jet pack this year?

    • Kiri the Paid Protestor

      I think it’s gonna be a long long time, Rocketman.

    • schmannity

      It’s in the trunk of your flying car.

      • Doug Langley

        Which is in the garage of your George Jetson flying saucer apartment.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “Some judge says my Muslim ban is unconstitutional religious discrimination. I’ve never seen that in the Constitution.” #DeletedTrumpTweets

  • Biel_ze_Bubba
    • bupkus23

      Hey, $3.00 is $3.00 – he’s still overpriced!

    • Bill D. Burger

      Our neighbors flew down to Orlando to meet their son’s family at Disney World for the week. He said no one even mentioned going into the Hall of Presidents at the Magic Kingdom and when his granddaughter mentioned going in “there” as they walked by, her Father said, “Maybe when you’re 18, honey. Then you can decide for yourself.” (she’s 4)
      It’s still too soon. ….lmao

    • Kiri the Paid Protestor
  • Latverian Diplomat

    Sen. John McCain on Wednesday accused fellow Sen. Rand Paul of doing Russian President Vladimir Putin’s bidding after Paul blocked an attempt to vote on a treaty for NATO membership for Montenegro

    “In fairness, it does have the word ‘negro’ in it.”
    — Ghost of Strom Thurmond

    • Creepoman

      Also attributable to the living incarnation of Jeffrey Beauregard Sessions.

    • laughingnome

      Old Strom should appreciate mount a negro.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Donnie’s crack team of investigators will have tremendous evidence of wire tapping, which could be many things, in two weeks.

    • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

      To be fair, they have to wrap up their investigation into Obama’s birth certificate before they can get to this.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Fantasy press conference, Spicey or Twitler or Conway or any combination of these: every member of the press corps has a list of Twitler’s lies, and they just ask him about those. When he doesn’t answer and calls on someone else, they just pick up where the other one left off. And on and on and on. And then the evening news leads with “Twitler Won’t Answer Questions” over and over.

        • Suttree

          So same as every other day with the exception of proximity?

        • bupkus23

          Nah, that fantasy will never fly – the psychophantic right wingers from Breitbart, Fox, Newsmax, won’t play ball

          [ I accidently typo’ed “sycophantic” – but the misspelling suggested that much more appropriate mishmash of sycophantic and psychopathic ]

      • Suttree

        Dammit. Shoulda read down.

    • Mary Sandoras

      Inspector Gadgets on the case?

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Well, no one can find Carmen Sandiego, so…

    • Suttree

      Info to be released with The Kraken Obama’s REAL B.C.

    • Mike Steele

      Hi, Blob. He just said we’d see something interesting, which makes us worry that some false flag operation will provide him with yet another “SKWERL!”. Remember, Ruthless Rudy blabbed about Muslim ban and forthcoming Podesta leaks in advance. They’re so fargin’ stupid that they broadcast their own game plans…

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Well, I have people that actually have been studying it and they cannot believe what they’re talking.

        • Mike Steele

          Lady MS here: Do tell…or ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit next to me’:)

  • LarryHoudini

    Geert Wilders lost? That’s clearly impossible, as it ruins the “Nationalism is now an unstoppable force.” and boosts the “Trump is a historical accident who only won with Russian help” thinking.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      And by “historical accident,” we mean “fart that you were afraid would be a big shart, and totally was.”

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “Our long national fear of being ruled by people with abnormally gigantic heads is over”.

    • Reddishrabbit

      Whenever I hear that I just think ~3,000,000.
      And then I’m sad

    • Creepoman
    • Alexander Stallwitz

      I am relieved that at least one country learned what happens when you elected Far Right wingers

      • LarryHoudini

        Hopefully France follows suit.

        • Alexander Stallwitz

          I hope so, France has always been prone to going too far. see the France Revolution as a example. Antisemitism has always been a problem too. its why French Ann Coulter and her party scares me.

    • calliecallie

      My relentless conspiracy theory brain suggested to me this morning that the Russians let this one slide, to give the left in France and Germany a false sense of security coming into their elections.

    • Keith Taylor

      I worry considerably about that “Trump only won with Russian help” thinking. I’m no expert, but it appears to me it directs people’s attention the wrong way for doing anything effective about the cause of Trump’s “winning” the presidency. I’m sure the Russians hacked into the electoral computers — of both main parties — but to spy on how things were going, not to manipulate the ballots. Once they got the picture, they saw they didn’t have to.
      The Republicans did the rigging. It started at least as early as 2013, when that 5-4 Supreme Court decision made the Voting Rights Act about as effective as jelly beans by eliminating Section 4. Bang. Severe new ID requirements in states with a racist record that had to answer to the Federal government aforetime.
      And the completely phoney Interstate Crosscheck system followed, robbing tens of thousands of wholly legitimate voters of their franchise (with a suspicious overload of minority group names like Ramirez and George Washington Brown.)
      I’m no expert, and I say it again. But it looks to me as though, if America wants free and fair elections back (our Australian total prat right wing pundit Andrew Bolt is braying loudly that this WAS a free and fair election, say no more) somehow the Voting Rights Act has to be restored. Personally I’d like to see all states of the Union having to clear it with the Federal government before they alter their electoral rules. And Interstate Crosscheck abolished. At the very least, its lists published before the voting, for the world to see, and all names thereon having to be clearly identified and checked by birth date and social security number to make sure they have the right person in all cases.
      Only with the Republicans so solidly ensconced right now, how you’d get there from here, I’m puzzled to suggest. Love to hear about that from people more knowledgeable than I.
      I guess the media would have to weigh in gigantically for a start. Sustained muckraking campaign to make anything else they’ve done since Trump entered the White House, look ameliorative and mild. I’d suggest investigative journalists go after the orange person with everything they’ve got to uncover tax evasion and Russian money laundering offenses. Make sense? I think it might.

      • bupkus23

        Hey! Your post gave me the idea that Rump may have been elected by a cabal of MSM owners, looking to provide an easy soirce of sensationalist bullshit they could exploit for profit!

        Makes as much sense as any other conspiracy theory?

        • Keith Taylor

          In these batshit insane times, you could be right, too. Nothing seems too bizarre and paranoid — provided it’s physically possible, which eliminates that “entire Solar System is a NASA lie and the earth is flat” thing — for someone, somewhere, actually to be doing it. That also eliminates PizzaGate, of course. Not physically possible either. But. Trump supporters are still clinging to that one also. Batshit insane times.

      • LarryHoudini

        I agree–there were a lot of small pieces that made up his victory, and voter suppression was one of them. As far as fixing that part, who knows . . . but it’s hard for me to see Republicans holding onto power for very long, since their party is split between the Trumpists and Reagan Republicans, and their leader is an incompetent douche bag. I hope anything they do only shocks the electorate into total ass-whooping mode once 2018 comes, which right now feels about 250 years away.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Will Hurd: Most appropriate Republican name of all time.

    *but will he rope, brand, and castrate?*

    • Mike Steele

      ” I got this ” – Joni Ernst

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        “Don’t forget the bread bags!”

  • schmannity

    Courts using Trumpov and Benito Giuliani’s words to discern intent. UNFAIR!

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Apparently, some hot young Green guy is getting some credit for thwarting that Dutch nationalist guy with the hair, so I anticipate lots of fantasizing about how the Greens will save us here too.

    • Antonin Dvorak
      • Gayer Than Thou

        Yeah, him. He’s dreamy in a Justin Trudeau kind of way. But we don’t have that kind of Green here.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Help us Jill Stein, your our only hope?

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Ugh. Honestly, I would vote for McMullin first.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      Since it’s not a parliamentary system, the Greens can only be a spoiler in the US. Because Duverger’s Law.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Had to Google that, and now I feel like I have something SMRT to say at brunch this weekend. If I can stand to go after all my Faceplace friends fill up their feeds with nonsense about how all the country needs is a young good-looking Green guy to lead the charge.

    • The Wanderer

      I wish I had a lover who’s with the Green Party.
      My Mom always admonished me to “Eat my greens.”
      (badum-tssh)

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Trump calls it “an unprecedented judicial overreach”. No it’s not. They just did it to your first order a couple of weeks ago.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Feinstein and Grassley both grim and silent after meeting with Comey…

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10028797090

    Oh, to have been a fly on the wall during that meeting.

    • bupkus23

      One suspects that they were each grim over different aspects of that meeting…

      • MynameisBlarney

        Like, Rooshan agents have infiltrated our govt and IC and have hamstrung our ability to anything about it?

        • bupkus23

          I’m pretty sure Grassley was more concerned about what that means for his political future ( which, at age 83, is short enough ).

          “National security? Pah, what about MY security?”

    • snark-lurker

      **pats the lid of a big clothes hamper**
      “I got yer dirty laundry right here. Questions?”
      –Comey

  • Nounverb911

    I see that Donnie had a tollbooth installed in front of his building to charge the riffraf that want to get in.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/08fdff23dd2da1a419b37fa2326a092476b532ad81c1831e48372095ee439a46.jpg

    • Reddishrabbit

      Ugh, another scare on the cityscape. I hate those gates. I work downtown and they have those ugly things all over the place. Makes me feel like the fall of Rome, desperately throwing up defenses to hold back the Huns.

      • The Wanderer

        I think Alaric got in through a side door that someone left unsecured.

    • Kiri the Paid Protestor

      The Treasury guys must hate this. Trump makes their job even more difficult.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Trump meets with the Prime Minister of Ireland later today;

    Out of respect he will dye his skin green instead of the usual Orange.

    • bupkus23

      I really am expecting Rump to make some lame Irish/St. Patrick comments in the usual presser after their meeting. Prolly tell a drunk Irishman joke.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “I have a great joke about two Corinthians, Pat and Mike…”
        — Donald Trump

  • The Wanderer

    I have studied apartheid (back in the 80s, you couldn’t avoid not learning about it), and it’s fairly obvious – as the number of Palestinian Arabs and Palestinian Christians grows while the number of Israelis remain static or low growth, the Israeli PTB will have to adopt apartheid as a means of protecting themselves. Doesn’t make it right, of course.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Because it worked out so well in South Africa?

      • The Wanderer

        Obviously not, and it’s a morally reprehensible thing to do. But with assholes like Netanyahu (and he’s not the worst, by far) running things, you can expect it.

    • Red Bird Ω

      Protecting themselves from what?

      • The Wanderer

        Scary Brown People, same reason Trump wants a wall on the southern border and a ban on Muslims.

        • Red Bird Ω

          Aren’t some Israelis brown also? As an outsider that whole thing looks messy for no reason. Like someone created a conflict where there wasn’t one or not a significant one.

          • The Wanderer

            Very true. The dividing line’s also religious (something South Africa didn’t account for in the apartheid laws, as I recall).

          • Red Bird Ω

            I guess. But considering how both groups are capable of living together (and working together) when they live in other countries, I don’t buy that peace is hard to accomplish. Someone is benefitting from the conflict.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Dutch Donald Trump, Geert Wilders, appears to have lost his run for Prime Minister,…

    Republicans to rename “Dutch Apple Pie” to “Freedom Pie”, “dutch door” to “duck door” and “Dutch treat” to “TrumpCare”

    • Gayer Than Thou

      “Dutch oven” to “Freedom Fart Fort.”

      • wait! what?

        We also would have accepted “Meredith Baxter Birney fun zone.”

    • Querolous

      “Dutch Reagan” to “Senile old Fart”

  • beingreleased

    One thing I really like about Trump’s budget is that it ensures the US won’t be cursed with a new generation of scientists.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Math and history will be easier also two.

      • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

        Also grammer and sintax and speling.

        • laughingnome

          you mixpeled droolin

      • Reddishrabbit

        So much easier when there only 6,000 years of history.

    • Shibusa

      Trump is making the Old Testament Great Again!

    • bupkus23

      We might not be cursed with ANY new generations – considering how much military spending he wants ( and Rick Perry running the DOE and “managing” oir nuclear forces ).

      • Suttree

        Hence the need to ban abortions and slutty pills. Someone needs to be around for the rapture.

        • Shanzgood

          I love the idea of being used as a natural resource for the State.

      • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

        Nuclear triad is the land thing, the water thing and, uh, oops!

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        I know the feeling, i am deathly afraid Trump will start World War 3 or a nuclear war. I never thought I would live to see a President who I believed would actually start a Nuclear War

        • Transreason Maidenheader

          it’s so easily forgotten, how close we’ve been, more than once

          • Alexander Stallwitz

            Its one of the things I wish I didnt know. Like how we almost nuked North Carolina or a flock of geese were picked up as Soviet bombers. A really good book about it is Command and Control by Eric Schlosser

      • Tacoclamgenda

        I keep forgetting the Rick Perry thing.

  • Shibusa

    BTW, Trump’s budget so far:

    Eliminates meals-on-wheels entirely (20% of people served are veterans) and then slashes food assistance for poor women and children. Also eliminates legal aid, housing assistance, energy assistance, NEA, community services/development block grants, job corps centers. Can’t you just feel America’s greatness returning?

    • schmannity

      TRUMPLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Hmm. And yet it costs us a billion dollars a minute to keep Melon in New York and fly Twitler down to Mar-a-Lego for golf weekends. I read that on the internet.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Eliminate assistance to homeless veterans while simultaneously creating more future homeless veterans by increasing the military budget.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Billionaires like Trump make their living off of the margins.

    • Red Bird Ω

      WTF?

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Remember ol’ Geert was at the Republican convention to cheer on his bff McDickwart. But yeah, not racists or anything.

  • schmannity

    You’re making fascist crackpots look bad,Trump.

    –Geert Wilders

  • Suttree

    Handshake, hello, golf course.

  • beingreleased

    All Trump budget cuts should be given in terms of “Number of trips to Mar-a-lago” and “Number of days to ensure Melania doesn’t have to live with her husband.”

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I fully support this idea.

    • Bill D. Burger

      For those two nightmarish locals alone, TrumpCo. is quickly piling up bills in their first year that would more than double the TOTAL costs for presidential travel and security for the Obama family for the entire 8, countem, 8 years of his presidency.
      Fiscal conservatism and GOP math!

      • bupkus23

        Saw yesterday that Rump’s due in Palm Beach AGAIN this weekend…

    • Nounverb911

      AOT,K.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Hmm… You sound like you could use a job at Harpers Index…

    • Tacoclamgenda

      What a great idea! Get this out there somehow!!!!!

  • canes_pugnaces

    I keep pinching myself. Nope, this is real.

    • Reddishrabbit

      One day I’ll wake up, look at the headline, and see a pundit complaining about how Hilary was disrespectful to McCain by asking him to the golf only twice so far.

  • wait! what?

    Paul Ryan KNEW he was in trouble when he was banished to the International Space Station. That trouble was made clear by the station’s commander…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/91a52e0b59f577fedb5de3c8cad7fe53cef9d08dfbf587fbd6c792700c263662.gif

  • Shanzgood

    OT: Reposting my WOOHOO I GET A SECOND INTERVIEW NEXT WEEK FOR THIS JOB I LIKE!!!!

    https://media.tenor.co/images/1f84b096cbe1cc9f3763c803bb17e10e/tenor.gif

    • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

      Happy Dance!

      • Shanzgood

        There may have been some butt-wiggling a few minutes ago…

        • snark-lurker

          i KNEW you had a booty i just KNEW it!

          • Shanzgood

            Pft!

          • snark-lurker

            hehe

    • The Wanderer

      Molotov! Best of luck!

      • Shanzgood

        Thanks! I hope to not toss hot beverages into my lap next time!

        • The Wanderer

          Yeah, that can cause a bad impression. :-)

          • Shanzgood

            There were no witnesses and I turned my skirt sideways so the coffee splash wasn’t visible!

          • The Wanderer

            I sat through a half-hour interview a few years ago, and when I stood up I realized that my fly was open.

          • Shanzgood

            But did they hire you?

          • The Wanderer

            I was already hired; I was trying to get promoted.

          • Shanzgood

            *snicker*

            Interesting tactic.

          • Tacoclamgenda

            But at least you had pants on

          • The Wanderer

            True.

          • wavicles

            Adaptable in changing workplace situations.

    • snark-lurker

      well donut get so excited you go & pee your pants

      • Shanzgood

        too late

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Good for you. I was also just invited for another interview ^_^

      • Shanzgood

        Excellent!!!

      • Tacoclamgenda

        Yipee for both of you!

    • shivaskeeper

      Good deal.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Remember, you don’t have to talk about all of your prior felony convictions unless they ask you. Also, take “can make pruno in a prison toilet” off of the “other skills” portion of your resume.

      • Shanzgood

        Hee! I have exactly one speeding ticket to my name and that’s it! I think I’ll be okay!

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          They can easily find out about it if they pay a 3rd party agency to check you out (and most big businesses do.)
          Even if it’s “off the record”, the info stays in the databases, probably for longer than any of us will live. People mystified by their inability to land a job might do well to purchase their own background check, to see what others are seeing. Because maybe it wasn’t you who killed those two hitchhikers in 1975.

    • Rick Hill

      Yeah, I try to comment and you’re no longer there. Harumph.

      • Shanzgood

        Sorry! I didn’t see the Wonkagenda was up already.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    This is gold: A political cartoon about the elections seeing Rutte as a magician. The text says, “Very well over the last view weeks you have done your research over party programs and decided exactly for whom and why you’ve voted. Now look closely at your vote while we do this little trick called: for-ma-tion.”

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C7Cs1u8WgAAtTJA.jpg

    • The Wanderer

      Hee!

  • beatbort

    My response to Trump’s proposed budget:

    How can people be so heartless
    How can people be so cruel
    Easy to be hard
    Easy to be cold

    • Salmon River Libby

      Hair!
      Fortunate enough to see it years ago.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        That was the last time you could see my hair, too.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Trump’s budget or something equally bad will probably pass…it’s the dope slap America’s been deserving since the 2010 elections.

    • The Wanderer

      I think you mean “bitch slap.”

    • bupkus23

      The President’s “budget” ( any President’s ) is not a legally binding bill. While there are tons of fuckhead Republicans ( i.e., Freedom Caucus – tho’ they’ll probably say Rump’s budget doesn’t go far enough ) who would want to push the appropriations bills needed….

      I dunno ( my confidence has been seriously dented ) – but I doubt that we’ll get anything other than “continuing resolutions” by next fiscal year…

  • Shibusa
  • The Wanderer

    If Lord Dampnut would adopt Rep. Conyers’ HR 676 (Medicare For All), and somehow manage to ram it through both houses of the Congress, I’d be willing to forgive him several things.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Trump could have also raised taxes a little bit on the super wealthy, and simultaneously raised minimum wage by $2.00 a hour, and not appointed a bunch of right wing loons to important positions. I actually thought he might do something like that, because he’d want to be a popular president, but instead he embraced all the far right shit that always leaves the country a smoldering ruin.

      • The Wanderer

        He did say that he’d rather hold office as a Republican, because GOP voters are stupid and more easily gulled than Democratic voters.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I think his election to the presidency proves that. I didn’t think he’d make it through a month of GOP debates, and here he is president. I always thought the GOP’s voters were around 80% morons, but I’ve revised my estimate to 95% of the GOP’s voters are morons.

          • The Wanderer

            I think it’s:
            80% morons
            10% completely clueless
            5% actually hateful motherfuckers
            3% “Good Germans”
            2% crazies

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I think the Venn diagram between “morons” and “hateful motherfuckers” has a very big overlap. Same thing for “racists” and “straight up greedy.”

          • Mormos

            Not morons, goose stepping authoritarians… same difference i guess actually

        • bupkus23

          I thought that vid/audio where he was supposed to have said that was debunked?

          Link: http://www.snopes.com/1998-trump-people-quote/

          • The Wanderer

            Dunno, but it sounds like something he’d say.

          • wavicles

            That’s how they getcha!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        You’re severely underestimating how much he hates and resents people who are capable of critical thought, JMO.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I think he’s too shallow to resent smart people, particularly since he thinks he’s smrt.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            You know, I really don’t think he does. I think he believes he has a form of low cunning that’s better than smart, but he brags on his smrt uncle a hell of a lot more than he brags on the daddy who built the business that bought the politicians that have kept him out of trouble while he failed upwards.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            A lot of people think if you’re rich, you’re smart. I think Trump believes that, ergo, he’s smart, too. At the end of the day, who knows what goes through his pea brain?

            Note: I’ve met a lot of very dumb rich people, and most of them inherited wealth.

      • Mormos

        But how would that create corporate fuedalism?

      • bupkus23

        “…because he’d want to be a popular president,”

        No, he just wants to be popular. Getting elected President would prove him popular – actually BEING President is nowhere in his desires

  • Biel_ze_Bubba
    • The Wanderer

      Creepy Baby!

    • Suttree

      Do they have C.H.U.D. babbies in the subways now?

      • Thiazin Red

        The subways in Manhattan are too expensive, I think the CHUD mostly live in Queens now.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      “Open the pod bay doors, HAL.”

      “I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

      • The Wanderer

        “Daisy, Daisy . . . “

    • wavicles

      I thought our spooks would be more… subtle.
      No wonder we don’t win anymore.

      (i think i’m almost done w/this joke.)

  • janecita

    Stephen Colbert, is awesome as Rachel Maddow! He has all her mannerisms down pat.

    • Sardonicuss

      I used to listen to the podcast of the RMS to go to sleep at night..or podcasts in general.
      Had to quit listening to Rachel, for that purpose, because you can’t doze off when your mind is screaming: Just get to the fucking point!

  • TundraGrifter

    I heard a little of Mr. Trump’s speech in Tennessee. Based on one of his remarks, he thought he was in Missouri.

    • The Wanderer

      I think he’s going senile.

      • Lizzietish81

        I’ve been saying that for years

        • The Wanderer

          It’s a slow process, to be sure.

          • wavicles

            I heard online that it’s the syphilis.
            Sad.
            Oh, and weak!

      • Red Bird Ω

        Going???

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Going?

    • FlemmishSpy

      Funny coincidence, we’re in misery!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “So happy to be here in the ‘Show Me’ state, gateway to the west, go Chiefs!”
      — Donald Trump?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        “How about that Saarinen fellow and those wonderful arches he designed for McDonald’s. He’s been doing a great job!”

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “In the land of the hillbilly, the orange-hued man is king”.

    • Creepoman

      I think it’s time to just stop listening to anything he says – he is obviously just bullshitting his way through the presidency at this point. We’ve all seen this when somebody knows squat about what they’re talking about, but rattle on endlessly saying nothing with the confidence of a pathological liar. His words no longer have meaning and we should focus on what his evil henchmen are actually doing.

      • TundraGrifter

        “His words no longer have meaning…” They never did.

      • Just this AM i was thinking ‘I’m hearing a LOT less of him than i used to hear obama’ (thank god). Now admittedly i have very little use for most non online/non NPR media, but still. I would often hear Bamz on a daily basis. I hear the peestain quoted maybe once or twice a week?

        I don’t think that’s just my prejudices either. I think he’s functionally illiterate.

  • Bill D. Burger

    1st wife (No, not the current First Wife Mel…something.) Ivana is writing a cookbook, y’all.
    True.
    Lil’ vid of her first attempt to make toast.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bb61106fd131e86578e4036b6c007140a712a42568451e91264b62aaeb78be66.gif

    • The Wanderer

      That microwave takes great pictures.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      KAC when she found out her microwave was listening in.

      • Bill D. Burger

        The cameras in the Hot Pockets created a short.

        • The Wanderer

          (Jim Gaffigan voice) Hot Pocket!

      • Edith Prickly

        WIN.

    • Edith Prickly

      LOL. Ivana briefly had a lifestyle magazine in the ’90s which featured articles about how to order takeout food for parties and make it look like you cooked it, among other things. I found her honesty refreshing.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        “I found her honesty refreshing.” I read that in Mike Pence’s voice. Then I threw up a little.

    • Doug Langley

      Obama made it a hotline.

      • Tacoclamgenda

        All the upfists!

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Trump plans to slash the CDC budget. Individuals need to take Personal Responsibility to guard themselves against future deadly viral pathogen outbreaks.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      If they worked harder, they’d have better immune systems.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Remember how the Great Ebola Scare was the final cog in Obama’s plot to destroy America? Miraculously, the 2014 midterms seemed to staunch the spread of the virus.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          It’s amazing that America “survived” Obama, and by “survived” I mean “the stock market tripled, the price of my house went back to what it was worth before Bush decimated housing prices plus some, and we’re at pretty close to full employment.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Silly librul. Everyone knows all those things happened the day after Trump was elected!

        • wavicles

          We barely won that one!

    • Nounverb911

      Are bone spurs a pathogen?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      He’s not even competent at being a germaphobe.

    • Suttree

      He must have stock in Purell, plastic sheeting, and duct tape.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        A friend of mine has a large stock OF Purell, plastic sheeting, and duct tape. Should I be worried?

        • Suttree

          No need for any of that stuff. A few cases of vodka will suffice.

    • Lizzietish81

      I just finished the Lost City of the Monkey God, which was in deep, deep Honduras Jungles and the author and half the first party came down with a Leish infection, caused by a parasite carried by sand flies. It’s disfiguring, sometimes deadly and hard to treat…and it’s spreading north thanks to Global Warming (it especially loves finding people with AIDS).

      It’s actually super common among poor tropical populations, but there’s no real financial stake in researching it. The author and his team got lucky, they, eventually, found a doctor at the NIH who studies it and they all got to become test subjects.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Another reason for me to move to Canada!

        • Vienna Woods

          Hey, it’s why I don’t complain too much about winter.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I HATE winter, but I’m beginning to think it’s not such a bad thing to live in a cold, sane society.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I gotta read that one. I read “Jungleland”-about the same subject-a couple of years ago and got pretty mesmerized by the whole story.

        • Lizzietish81

          If you haven’t, check out The Lost City of Z which is a similar story in the Amazon

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Read it. I’m the armchair adventure book reader of all time. Just reserved “Lost City of the Monkey God” at my local library…only 9 other holds ahead of me!

    • Courser_Resistance

      Awesome! Just as another mosquito pathogen may be making it’s way to the US South (Hell-O Florida!). Yellow Fever. While there’s a vaccine, stocks worldwide are depleted (and you can’t make vaccine overnight).

      The GOPee is going to kill us all dead one way or another.

      • wavicles

        Yeah, but in the short term, a’WINNIN!!
        It’s very simple logic.

      • From Russia with Love

        Ha ha ha, already got my shot. I’m good on plague too. Almost got the anthrax vax too.

    • Ducksworthy

      So, the Zombie Apocalypse is back on? Cool.

  • DahBoner
  • Michael R
    • DahBoner

      PRONG GOT SCHLONGED

    • Creepoman

      Like pr0n, but worse.

    • I love me some Prong… the classics are Beg to Differ, Prove You Wrong and Cleansing, but their three newest albums are all great too, starting with Carved Into Stone.

      Sean Spicer looks like at any moment he will float above his audience with his head spinning ’round.

      • From Russia with Love

        I like them in scampi, over pasta.

  • Doug Langley

    Update: remember the interview I had last week with a big company for a position I knew I was qualified for? They canceled at the last minute. Asked when they would reschedule, told to wait. And wait. Kept prepping for it for the next couple days when it got through my thick skull they didn’t want it at all. But God forbid anyone should EVER tell me the truth about, far easier just to lie through their teeth.

    Now no interview. Back to square one sending out resumes and applications and wondering if ANYONE will ever look at me.

    • canes_pugnaces

      That sucks, sorry. Fortunately for you, and the rest of us, we just keep winning. I’m exhausted.

    • puredog

      Yeah, that lying through their teeth thing is par for the course for job supplicants, IME.

    • Tacoclamgenda

      Dog, that sucks.

    • zerosumgame0005

      probably like PG&E here they only hire internally, new people only when forced to, so you were a fake out for current employees most likely

      • Juan de Fuca

        See also defense contractors. I’ve seen that happen first hand in a job a DoD company specifically tailored to my resume years ago for a job I ended up not taking. It was an eye-opener though. Sometimes it’s on the up and up, other times – it can be shady.

        • From Russia with Love

          SAIC was pretty fucked up, but thankfully I never had to go that route.

          • Juan de Fuca

            Yup. The company I was being recruited by is one of their competitors. What’s funny is that after going through the process and later deciding to move to Cali after retiring from the AF, I saw plenty of sweet jobs that I really wanted at SAIC in San Diego. I submitted a few resumes but knew I didn’t stand a chance because the job was probably already filled ahead of time.

            Sure enough, after a week or so, check the job announcement on the web and wouldn’t you know it? This job has been filled.

            No shit.

          • From Russia with Love

            Believe it or not, they do that same shit in civil service. It’s supposed to be clean and above board, but it’s really pretty rotten.

    • Mary Sandoras

      Ha… I was hired years ago at a job site and showed up to work only to get sent home with no job from the other manager that didn’t interview me. Apparently the 2 of them were having a pissing contest and I got caught in the middle of it.

    • calliecallie
    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I applied for a job recently – sent in my cover letter and resume – about a week later they sent me a survey asking how my experience was with their company. Jeez, it would have been nice to have had an experience with their company before they asked me how it was. :-(

    • From Russia with Love

      Try it when you are 58. Fuck it, it was easier for me to retire.

      • Doug Langley

        Um . . . I’m 60.

        • From Russia with Love

          That’s when I pulled the plug. And I thought by the age of 60 I’d seen all the bullshit tricks. And these were government or contractor jobs.

          Edit: And I feel for you. Honestly.

    • DahBoner

      Winners never quit!

    • Ducksworthy

      Would HR lie to you?

    • Zyxomma

      I haven’t even been able to get interviews.

    • I’m so sorry man. It’s really rough out there for over 40s. I get to see this every day doing Obamacare stuff (and will likely be there soon – again – myself).

      Honestly, i don’t even try corporate anymore. I know there is NO WAY some marketing consulting firm is going to pick up my resume (with 20 years experience reflected) and give me a call.

      I vacillate between NPO and the arts and starting my own business.

      The ageism out there INFURIATES me (swear to god, i see less of it in theatre – my other interest – than i do in the corporate world. Which is INSANE).

  • Proud Liberal

    Trump wants to get rid of Meals on Wheels. What a guy…..

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Donald’s budget is like an 8 y/o getting even for that Christmas where he got socks instead of GI Joe stuff.

    • Proud Liberal

      His vengeance is going to bring a country down. I’m not laughing.

      • From Russia with Love

        Bannon is the really sick motherfucker. He hates the country from the core of his being. No wonder he wasn’t real popular in the Navy.

      • Transreason Maidenheader

        I’d bet money that his lawyer eventually brings back the “Affluenza” defense…

    • canes_pugnaces

      It’s more like the kid who burns down the house and murders the neighbors for no fucking reason at all.

      • Proud Liberal

        Good analogy.

      • tapp_my_wire,please

        killing your parents (with votes) and pleading mercy from the judge cuz you’re an orphan.

        • zerosumgame0005

          if the kid is rich white and male it will work…

          • From Russia with Love

            But only once or twice.

  • Proud Liberal

    Can anybody spell I.N.C.O.M.P.E.T.E.N.T? This is our government right now.

    • Reddishrabbit

      Well, none of the political appointees could.

      • From Russia with Love

        Ditsy DeVos can’t spell her own name.

    • zerosumgame0005

      Trump sure can’t spell anything with more then 4 letters!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I-n-c-o-n-t-i-n-e-n-t?

      • From Russia with Love

        That too, but orally.

  • Mormos

    Oh jeff, legal weed isnt going anywhere, big business has already invested in it.

    • Proud Liberal

      Exactly. They see where the money is!

  • Chadwells

    Really sad the internet didn’t meme the shit out of this. Missed opportunity. My contribution:

    “Trumps hands are as big as this pile. PERIOD.”

    Is it perfect? No….but it’s a start. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/578a67506d0dd9a23e1171eb678dbcd8bd7b89b4e36c1f33c169cb5a6706000c.jpg

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Sessions is in the pocket of Private Prisons.

    The best way to keep them in business and America happy is to fill them to capacity with The Blacks.

    And the best way to do that is to make/keep marijuana for personal consumption a serious offense with long sentences.

    It’s sick, racist, easy, profitable and surprisingly popular. What’s not to like?

    • FlemmishSpy

      13th amendment: Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.

      Damned if Floriduh didn’t find a slavery workaround.

      • The Wanderer

        The whole post-Civil War South had a lease system, where factory owners could essentially lease or rent prison inmates and work them like slaves.

        • Ducksworthy

          So Southern whites continued to compete against slave labor. Explains a lot.

    • From Russia with Love

      They don’t call them jazz cigarettes for nuthin’.

    • Boscoe

      -and a “classic” because after all, that IS why it was made illegal in the first place…

    • RumAddled

      worked for Nixon

  • Reddishrabbit

    OT I think Amazon may know me too well, just got an email with a list of Snoop Dogg albums…may need check my microwave.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Turmps really bad, awful, perhaps worst day so far…

    https://twitter.com/Amy_Siskind/status/842202618638282753

    • The Wanderer

      What pegged the irony meter was his attempt to blame the Democrats if TrumpCare doesn’t pass – as if the Dems are going to willing do away with the most important bit of domestic legislation in the past 10 years.

      • Bill D. Burger

        And his logic? “We’ll (*notice WE) let it fail and blame the Democrats.”

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3f7fd84437e05b5a4554b06761088ecc8b428c323d3c75c8bd2678a181fc7dfd.jpg

        • The Wanderer

          Quite so.

        • Lefty Frizzell

          As I’ve said before – Trump believes the hype.

          Obamacare could do better but it’s not on life support like he assumes.

          He can’t “let it fail” – he will have to “do something proactive to fuck it up” and Dems better be fucking watching for that and publicizing it.

          • Ducksworthy

            More subtle than not funding it?

          • What infuriates me even more than trump on this (he doesn’t know anything and just parrots what people tell him) is the standard R talking points (Ryan and last night Ron Johnson on NPR). They repeat over and over that it’s failing, it’s imploding, it’s a disaster.

            It. Is. Not. And no one is checking them on this. It’s just become another alt fact.

            (Yes there’s loads that needs to be fixed but judging by america’s reaction to the possible repeal, fix is what we want).

      • Mary Sandoras

        This makes his accusations towards Dems even funnier.

        Nervous GOP senators rooting for Ryan to fail
        http://thehill.com/homenews/senate/324220-nervous-gop-senators-rooting-for-ryan-to-fail

      • From Russia with Love

        It’s been longer than ten years, given that W had no bits of important domestic legislation.

        • The Wanderer

          I just ball-parked it, since I can’t recall when the Homeland Security Act came out.

          • From Russia with Love

            I do that too. Seems that we have a domestic policy black hole every so often…

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Brain dead Cheetohlini doesn’t get that if the ACA does fail, people will hold the Republicans responsible for not fixing it.
        Remember the goober RWNJ talking point “Obama had House and Senate majorities and he couldn’t get his agenda through, because it wasn’t popular”

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Donald: fake tweet. terrible. vicious.

      • From Russia with Love

        “You’re the sick man now!”
        “No, you’re the sick man.”
        “No, you’re the sick man.”
        “No, you’re the sick man.”

    • Sardonicuss

      A bad day for Trump is a good day for America.

      • MynameisBlarney

        And the world.

    • therblig

      Spicey will explain how all that is actually “winning”

      • From Russia with Love

        You might see this —> //

        as four “Ls,” but Spicey sees it as one “W.”

      • nightmoth

        Hire Charlie Sheen and get him coked up to say it.

    • Chadwells

      Well, at least he wins at losing.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      To be fair, the venue would have been filled if the people waiting outside in line had gotten through security and been allowed to come in. But that says something about how screwed up Trumpism is to begin with. And why is he still holding these stupid rallies anyway.
      Also 2500 protestors stood outside in the cold to protest Cheetohlini.

  • bookish

    Buy a “Facts Matter” tee shirt to support #ScienceMarchDC
    April 22, 2017

    Tee shirts available now.

    https://teespring.com/wear-facts-matter?tsmac=store&tsmic=the-resistance-5#pid=2&cid=2397&sid=front

  • Juan de Fuca

    I’m thinking of a new edit to the Urban Dictionary for “Cockblock”. Any suggestions are welcome and will credit Wonkette!

    Here’s what I came up with off the top of my head:

    Cockblock

    When your mom sends your little brother with you on a date to make sure you never make it past first base.

    Damn bro, you just got blocked like a Trump Travel Ban!

  • A U.N. panel has released a report that accuses Israel of practicing apartheid against Palestinians; naturally U.N. ambassador Nikki Halley called it “anti-Israel propaganda,” and the rest of the world loudly groaned while facepalming.

    Well, gosh darned it, if those darned Palestinians would just ethnically cleanse themselves, there’d be no need for the Israelis to apartheid them.

    • Boscoe

      Why won’t they just assimilate???

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Jesus, Nikki, if shoving hundreds of thousands of people into a few square miles of extremely non-arable land, blocking them in with military barriers, and then blockading food supplies on top of it isn’t apartheid… then what would you call it? You know, besides a prototype for what to do to Teh Blahs.

  • TJ Barke

    How am I supposed to not self immolate if I can’t occasionally get some weed?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I drink heavily. It’s nice to have options.

      • TJ Barke

        I don’t really enjoy alcohol…

        • From Russia with Love

          Just as well. It will be illegal too after Trump is impeached and Pence takes over.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            I think I vaguely remember seeing somewhere that brandy is distilled from foetuses.

          • From Russia with Love

            Well, when those god-fearing motherfuckers get a head of steam up, they never know where to stop.

        • Bill Slider

          Saute it with a little butter and carrots, and it becomes health food. I recommend orange liqueur.

          • Tacoclamgenda

            Also too, mix with juices for the health thing. Add ice cream just because then it’s tasty.

    • Chadwells

      I’ll be like the NRA of weed….you can take it from my cold, dead hands!!!

    • Zyxomma

      I’ve done without for the past ten months because I’m job hunting. It’s horrible. Yes, I had to go through the entire election without even an occasional toke. No one should be subjected to that.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    So, this could explain a few things

    While Comey has likened Chinese hackers to
    “drunk burglars,” behaving with reckless abandon, “in the past the Russian actors have been very sophisticated in their efforts to cover their tracks and go undetected,” Stifel said…

    The Russian government appeared most interested in using the hack to spy on government officials, journalists and businesspeople.

    • Proud Liberal

      Particularly of interest “Trump’s effusive praise of Putin, have raised bipartisan fears that the president might reorient American policy for personal reasons”. No. I fear that Trump is a traitor and is going to destroy this country before we can stop him!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I don’t know if he’s a traitor as much as he is a completely solipsistic nihilist who sees no reason why the world shouldn’t turn into a pizza after it gives him a blowjob. There’s a reason the channers love him.

  • TheGrandWazoo2
  • Lefty Frizzell

    Here’s an odd commentary on the CBO RyanCare report:

    http://www.cnbc.com/2017/03/14/cbo-report-on-trumpcare-confirms-it-you-cant-fix-stupid-commentary.html

    The headline – “You Can’t Fix Stupid” – refers to the idea that repealing the mandate will allow a projected 14M to walk away from healthcare because they choose not to pay for it.

    What makes it odd is that the quoted projections make the exact opposite point, ie “You Can Fix Stupid – With A Mandate”.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      “Nobody ever talks about the fact that it was in quotes, but that’s a very important thing,” Trump said.

      Everybody talked about the fact that it was in quotes, after your stooge Spicer floated that argument. And everybody said, “That is the most utterly ridiculous bullshit excuse ever.”

      But do feel free to dig yourself in even further.

  • Bill D. Burger

    ‘Uhh…my sources? They’re perfect! —- uhh, a Brett Baier question and the NYT mention of general surveilance, the NYT, which he refers to as fake news in the same fucking interview. Damn, this is mind numbing stupidity, or he really is just literally demented and needs to be removed and institutionalized.

    [Trump’s defense of his wiretap conspiracy theory goes horribly awry
    03/16/17 08:40 AM—UPDATED 03/16/17 08:50 AM
    By Steve Benen

    But every time I try to take at least part of the story seriously, Trump shares some thoughts on the matter, which make his allegations sound crazy all over again. Last night, for example, Fox News aired a new interview between Tucker Carlson and the president.
    ______________________________
    To hear the president tell it, when he told the world that he’d “just found out” about an illegal surveillance operation launched against him by Barack Obama, that was apparently a lie. The New York Times mentioned wiretapping in January, and Fox’s Bret Baier mentioned it again more recently, but neither report made any mention of Obama targeting Trump.
    The president went on to say that in his conspiracy-theory tweets, he put the word “wiretap” in quotes. “Nobody ever talks about the fact that it was in quotes, but that’s a very important thing,” Trump said.

    A Slate report added, “It is hard to fully describe how clownish the president of the United States looks during this portion of the interview.”

    If the goal of the appearance was to renew fears about Trump’s stability, he succeeded beautifully.]

    http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/trumps-defense-his-wiretap-conspiracy-theory-goes-horribly-awry?

    • The Wanderer

      “Clownish.” He gives clowns a bad name.

      • TakingAmes

        You’d think he’d want to stay away from the clown comparisons after his Twatter war with Snoop Dogg.

    • Ducksworthy

      When he talks, Pootin giggles.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    The article about the Dutch election said that there was an 80% voter turnout, even though there were 28 parties represented. Why can’t we manage that kind of turnout in the US? The land of the free and the home of the brave can barely manage a 56% turnout with 2 to 4 parties. It’s embarrassing. You’d think Americans had to walk 30 miles through crocodile-infested swamps to get to their polling places.

    • Mary Sandoras

      Well if your black and in a red district, you do have to walk 30 miles thru a swamp to vote.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        Or stand in line for 5 hours.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Very possibly. But I live in a blue district, and I have met quite a few people in the past few months, both black and white, who did not bother to vote last year. Some have never bothered to register, because they think that if you register to vote, you immediately get called to Jury Duty. All I know is that I registered 42 years ago, and I wasn’t called to Jury Duty until 5 years ago, and it was no big deal (but it was boring sitting around for a week waiting to be called). While I was sitting there, waiting, it occurred to me that they could offer some attractive inducements to jury members, such as free parking downtown for a year, or discounted sporting event/concert tickets, but they never do that.

        • writersbloc

          Jury duty does kind of suck because you lose at least one day’s pay- and if you’re actually selected you receive maybe $50 a day stipend? Still, bad excuse to not register to vote, just saying.

          Last jury I was called up to be vetted for I thought was an interesting case I’d like to see through, but then I started to add up all the vacation days I’d have to use or go without my salary for the week.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I was always lucky to work for employers who paid us our full salary, minus the Jury Duty compensation, for the entire time we served on a Jury. Not every employer does that, but I think they should. The only thing about Jury Duty that worried me was the possibility of the jury being sequestered in a motel, which I could not do, as I live alone, and you can’t ask friends to feed your cats and scoop the litter forever. This would be a true test of friendship. I always wondered. . . if you asked nicely, and if the motel allowed it, would they let you bring your pets to the motel?

        • I’ve heard the same excuse. I’ve been a registered voter for (cough)a long time, and in this area for the past 14 years. The number of times I’ve been called for jury duty? Never here. Just once in all that time, and they said “never mind” when I informed them that “Hey, I’m in the military and stationed 500 miles from there.”

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I hear you. I registered to vote the day I turned 18, 42 years ago. I am a feminist, raised by a feminist, and women fought a long and hard battle to get the right to vote, which they should have been given 250 years ago. My Italian immigrant grandmother never voted, even after she gained the right to do so at age 32, because my grandfather didn’t approve of women voting (or doing much of anything, really). But my Irish-American grandmother voted every single time she got the chance, even though she did not earn this right until she was 26 years old, and she joined the League of Women Voters and worked as an election judge for 50 years. She served on a jury twice, and boasted about fulfilling her duty. Role models can be very important.

            I was called to Jury Duty a second time 2 years ago, and I had to refuse because in our courtrooms the jury sit on hard wooden benches that resemble church pews, and as I am now disabled with back injuries I just can’t do that. I was sorry about it, but if they would get better chairs this wouldn’t be a problem. The judges have very comfortable chairs, so why not the juries?

        • MizzMazz

          I’ve heard that too, and it’s true, but they also get their pool of possible jurors from the DMV, so if you have a driver’s license or Federal ID, you can be called. I’d be happy to be on a jury, because my work has to pay me anyway, but they always excuse me, for some reason.

    • Kakkeltje

      It might help that if you are registered to pay taxes in your municipality in the Netherlands you will automatically receive a voting card in the mail.
      In addition to that, voting is made as accessible as possible. Commuters can vote on the train station for example.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        The Dutch are smart. After I moved from a small town in the US to a very large city 30 years ago, it occurred to me that it is dumb that I have to vote in a precinct where I live, instead of where I work, because I worked 20 miles from where I lived, and voting day in my state is always on a weekday, so when you figure in the commute times and the long lines at the voting precincts, it was sometimes a challenge to find time to vote. I can understand this back in the days of paper ballots, but now that everything is digital where I live, there is no reason whatsoever why you couldn’t vote at ANY precinct after scanning your voter ID card, which could generate the proper ballot on the terminal you use to vote. I worked in I.T., so I know this can be done quite easily. I suggested this 10 years ago, and the response was stunned outrage, and the phrase “But this is how it has always been done” (I HATE that phrase). I told them “People used latrines for 100,000 years, but today we use flush toilets, which is proof that we are capable of changing the way things have always been done if it improves our lives.” This did not go down well.

        • Tania

          We have compulsory voting here in Australia. Hardly ever have I voted in my own electorate – you can get a ballot paper anywhere in the state. I have discovered the joys of early voting and there are many other options for the aged and impaired. They make allowances for disability and modify voting. I can still go in and get my name crossed off and vote, but most people make it that far and decide they might as well vote. We have very strong independent parties who despite a reputation for silliness often have a serious agenda that appeals to people.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            How lucky you are to live in a progressive country. When I lived in Louisiana, they had early voting, and they voted on weekends, except for Presidential elections. Where I live now in Missouri, they have neither, although we do have absentee ballots for the elderly and disabled. They are still voting here exactly the way they voted 200 years ago, and the idea of accommodating modern lifestyles is anathema.

    • Bill Slider

      Or, one could argue that the other 46% voted, none of the above.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I’ve heard that argument from quite a few people, but I always tell them they could write in a candidate. I did that once, for a Senatorial race.

    • MedusaX

      80% likely because of 28 parties….
      people have greater chance of identifying with a party platform &
      their individual vote may actually be critical to the outcome…..

      In a 2 party system (the 3&4 in US are rarely true contenders)
      it is hard for many people to truly identify with all aspects of either party’s platform —
      so it becomes a half hearted “support”
      of one or the other…,
      and at the national level….
      the weight of one’s vote is effectively dependent upon the size of the state you live in….
      So, in very few instances (70,000 of 125,000,000) is one’s vote critical to the overall outcome …..

      • bobbert

        Also, proportional representation.

        • Which doesn’t happen here. What most people tend to not realize is that “multiple parties” doesn’t exactly end up being “everyone gets a voice.” The reality is that you still end up with two major parties, and then if they don’t get a majority of seats, they form coalitions with a few minor parties to make it over the hump. So at best, you may have a little more swing to the left, or to the right.

      • ltmcdies

        don’t underestimate the example of what happens in a nation when a right wing populist/nutjob gets his hands on the levers of power.

        Trump is giving the world a lesson in what happens when you don’t show up to the polls.

        Many parties and proportional representation aren’t new in the Netherlands but Trump/UK voting Brexit and Russia’s trolling of democratic elections likely got people out to vote

        And sadly some of the voter increase would be white nationalists rallying around their chosen pepe.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elections_in_the_Netherlands

        http://www.reuters.com/article/us-netherlands-election-turnout-idUSKBN16M1X1

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Very true. But I firmly believe that people should stand up and be counted, even if their vote counts for very little, even if they write-in a vote for Mickey Mouse. People fought and died for centuries to have the right to vote, particularly working-class people, women and minorities, and I think it is irresponsible to throw this valuable right away.

        Interestingly and unexpectedly, the majority of the local people I meet who tell me they have never voted are African Americans over age 50. There is a message there, but I am not 100% sure what it is.

  • Bill Slider

    It Trump were S-M-R-T, oh, never mind.

    • Liberoid Ron

      Yeah, if he were we wouldn’t be in the middle of this mishegoss.

  • Panika MCD

    “Capitol Tip of the Day: The early bird gets the worm. But the late worm got to attend the lobby-sponsored reception the previous night.” ~ TX AFL-CIO Legislative Director Rene Lara

    • TakingAmes

      That’s typically how those things work, in my experience.

    • phoenix00

      Rainbows, unicorns, AND dolphins?! I feel so blessed!

  • writersbloc

    “…off-camera bromosexual road handies.” God damn I love the way you guys write.

  • Bill Slider

    As the AG, Jeff Sessions should know that grave robbing is illegal. Taking from Nancy Reagan’s cold dead hands the one thing for which she is widely known, just say no, should make him guilty as charged.

    • Pilotshark

      Nancy just say NO was follow by Barbra`s Just spell NO.

      • MizzMazz

        And High Times headline, Just say Yo!”

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Actually, there are two things for which she’s widely known, but the other is probably more up Lindsey Graham’s alley than Jeff Sessions’.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Maybe, but little Jeff Sessions is just the right height.

      • TakingAmes

        Ouija boards?

      • Bill Slider

        Her choosing Red China as the official China in the White House?

  • nightmoth

    photo up top—everybody behind Rump looks either (1) mean or (2) stupid, which adds to my anecdotal evidence of same

    • TakingAmes

      (1) mean AND (2) stupid. FIFY

    • M.E. Lawrence

      I think they look bored, and wondering how much money will be in each envelope.

  • Oblios_Cap

    A U.N. panel has released a report that accuses Israel of practicing apartheid against Palestinians; naturally U.N. ambassador Nikki Halley called it “anti-Israel
    propaganda,”

    Remind me again why our politicians feel they have to kiss Israel’s ass?

    • Liberoid Ron

      Because TurboJesus.

      • TakingAmes

        Agreed. They literally believe that Israel has to be a nation in order for Jesus to return and begin the Judgment (TM). Because obviously God has nothing better to do than piss about geopolitics.

  • JohnBull

    Those douchebags standing behind him–what are they thinking? Where the nearest mosque is to firebomb after the rally is over?

    • Scrofula

      They’re thinking *crickets . . . crickets . . . have to fart . . . crickets . . . *

    • Jeffery Campbell

      It’s like the Hillbilly Hall of Shame back there.

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie
  • HorseChestnut

    Are we gonna talk about Ivanka’s date with Prime Beef Minister Trudeau?

    • Jeffery Campbell

      I expect we are all in a pique because it was Ivanka on his arm and not us. I know I am.

      • Liberoid Ron

        Now be fair. We all know that Our Justin is simply demonstrating Canada’s commitment to the welfare of the handicapped, whether physically, mentally or morally.

    • HazooToo

      He took her to a play about welcoming foreigners. I’m gonna call that a very civil backhand, and give him a pass.

  • Mavenmaven

    This ruling is an excellent argument for allowing dicks like Stephen Miller more airtime (he is specifically cited as an argument for the real intent of the new ruling).

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