Have you seen how all the newspapers in America are coming out with slogans and putting them on t-shirts, and they are all word phrases and sentences that are VERY unkind to Crown Prince Pussgrab of the Mar-a-Lago Pussgrabs? They say things like “Democracy Dies In Darkness” (WaPo) and “Journalism matters” (LA Times) and even “Speaking truth to power since 1847” (Chicago Tribune). How are those things even fair, just because we have a president who has openly declared that a free press is the literal enemy of the American people, a president who makes up facts about things like “wire tapps,” and forces America to waste its damn time investigating such things, just because the idiot squatting in the White House made up his own “alternative facts”?
Here, watch the very short video from “Fox & Friends”:
— FOX & friends (@foxandfriends) March 14, 2017
Media bias on full display! Newspapers now cashing in on t-shirts splashed with anti-President Trump rhetoric! The Washington Post offering this shirt which says, “Democracy dies in darkness.” The LA Times selling shirts that say, “Journalism matters.” And the Chicago Tribune’s feature the line “Speaking truth to power since 1847.” The shirts being sold for about 20 bucks!
Ho-kay. So along those lines, we here at Wonkette were thinking what OTHER kinds of slogans could be construed as “anti-Trump,” and should we also put them on t-shirts and profit financially off them? Well of course we should! How about these?
- Words definitely mean things. Take THAT, Trump!
- Facts exist. So do dick jokes. Wonkette!
- That’s … not how any of this works.
- Science … it’s not just a river in Egypt anymore!
- I like my men like I like my grandfather clocks. With normal-sized hands!
- Barack Obama was born in the United States.
- Actually, Hillary Clinton won the popular vote.
- The president of the United States is not a king.
- Breitbart and Alex Jones lie a lot.
- Stop trying to make the Bowling Green Massacre a thing, Kellyanne, it will NEVER be a thing.
- Don’t be mean.
- You should not kick puppies.
- Tanning beds are bad for you.
- Oh, is it cold where you are? Global warming still is real.
- It is bad form to lust after your own daughter.
- Literally no one needs that much spray tan.
- Normal human smiles don’t usually look like buttholes, #ScienceFact
- If You Have A Signed Contract With Someone And They Fulfill Their Part Of It You Should Pay Them What You Agreed On Instead Of Stiffing Them And Threatening To Sue Them That’s A Dick Move Bro
That last one is very long, and also very anti-Trump, because of how it is true. So how this works is you will decide on your favorite ones in the comments section (and even come up with your own!), and then we will cobble together a few “anti-Trump” t-shirts, with things on them that are just demonstrably true, and you may buy them from us in exchange for money! Ready, set, vote on your favorites in the comments, what are not allowed!
Wonkette is fully reader-funded, so even if you are going to buy a t-shirt, give us money anyway, because #reasons is why.